#unfortunately the price for my success has been my sanity

[formula-fun]

how r u doing em? hope school got better for you!! a couple asks ago u said u thought about lando presenting late as an omega and i found that really interesting. so i know u scrapped it, but did u have anything mapped out about how it would be? would it be close to the time charles had the miscarriage? cause i would imagine lando would kinda lean in to charles for guidance and advice etc and how would everybody else react? especially w his "relationship" w carlos and how people would view him

Hi, I’m doing well! Hope you’re doing well too 💛💛 yeah, I really wish that could’ve been included but it ended up not fitting. He would have presented right before COTA, which is the first race in the next chapter, and then all the press conferences are people hounding him with questions about the change and why it happened. It was important to the larger story because it had to do with privacy (people asking him inappropriate questions, boundaries being crossed) but while he was embarrassed by the attention he wasn’t ashamed of his new identity, just curious about it, which made Charles think more about his relationship with his own identity. Lando presented late but not that late, so while some might see it as something wrong with his health he just saw it as more of a quirk, which again made Charles self reflect. And then it also brought up the question which has come up already, of whether or not racing is bad for omegas because it’s so physically taxing (The answer obviously being it’s no worse for them than it is for anyone else)

Lando is pretty oblivious to how the pack functions and the intricacies of dynamics, which Carlos already mentioned, so he had a lot of questions for Charles about how it all works after he presented. This also meant Charles had to reflect a little more on why their pack is the way it is, and it got really in depth so I’ll spare you the details, but it basically meant Charles had to deal more with some of his like internalized sexism and what it means for his own identity. It also meant carlos and lando figured out their issues really quickly lol

I’m sorry this answer is so jumbled but yeah basically it was a secondary timeline to the final act of the story, which is about identity vs societal expectations and how we might limit ourselves by either fitting expectations or avoiding them, but in reality identity is free-flowing and we have a lot more freedom than we might think. It also has to do with honesty to love ourselves and each other. Lando and Carlos got the first part but are still working on the second. Charles and Max almost have the second part but now they need to dig their teeth into the first

Thanks so much for the ask!!! I hope this makes literally any sense hhfgijggjgjkg

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Mafia AU ideas 2: Cyberpunk edition

*Max lives at the Garden and to many he is simply known as the Doctor. He'll treat anyone no matter what faction they belong to. He has extensive knowledge in how to treat anyone regardless of tech or mutation.

* Kim is an escaped Mutant from Argeste industries. He was genetically engineered to be the ultimate muscle and uses a supply of mutagen to maintain his power (think bane from the batman comics) unfortunately while the mutagen does make him strong, his body can't function without it. Officially he works with the Kubels for income but he spends all of his off time with Max who is working on a way to either cure him or at least remove the NEED for mutagen. He believes he used to have a life before the experiments but all of those memories have been wiped away. He does have a strange sense of Deja vu when he meets acertsin blue haired girl living at the local bakery.

* Argeste industries are the leading superpower in genetic and technological research and are responsible for many of the advances in the field. There are rumors however that the president of the company, is an emotionless mad scientist hell bent on defying death itself.

*Officially, Nathalie is the head of Argeste industrie's new entertainment and modeling division which both aids models in looking their best and advertising their line of unique mutations (things like cat pupils, enhanced metabolism) and "power" mutations that they create to grant actors more "practical" effects and even military contracts on the side. Unofficially however. She's Adrien's guardian, the world's first true artifical intelligence and the brain child of the late Emile Argeste. She's determined to protect Adrien at all costs but with her boss's sanity slipping, as well as advice from a particularly enthusiastic client. She wonders if their safety is in danger from the very company she works for.

*As said before Adrien is the world's first true Artifical intelligence. He's unbelievablely optemistic and kind hearted. His greatest desire is to see the world.

*Clara Nightingale is a superstar performer that serves as becaon of hope for the people as she's the first celebrity that managed to prominence from the slums. Hoping to use her success as a platform to speak for change to working class conditions, she signs on with Argeste Industries. Unfortunately Argeste industries may not be as clean as she believed with rumors now circulating that Gabriel is supporting the corrupt mayor. And if that wasn't enough, she may or may not have developed a soft spot for the overworked department head and her sunshine child of a ward who may also need an escape.

* Lila exists as a consciousness trapped in the internet. She'll often force her way into people's cybernetic implants to either gain information or temporarily take over their bodies to move around in. This has given her the a reputation as the most illusive information broker in the world as well as the nickname Chameleon given that she could be nearly everyone. Max has actually been working with her in private. Trading information he can use to help his patients in return for his help in constructing a body for her. As a result he's the one person she's completely honest with.

*Nino runs a small time gang Known as the Street Rats. A crew of orphaned children that he acts as a big brother to. While not a malicious gang they have a habit of theiving and run a black market of goods stolen from the larger industries that they to the poor communities for reasonable prices. They often get requests from outside to act as spies and informants since most people in the city wouldn't even bat an eye to most of these kids.

———

“It’s just a small idea probably won’t flesh it out too much”

..

Famous last words on my part- oKAY I LOVE THIS

If there’s one genre that can at least stand on the same level for my love of pirates and steampunk— it’s this.

Is cyberpunk the only genre name for this? I’m not sure- but I love this fucking futuristic dystopian neon aesthetic so much guys

Like- think Detroit Become Human except it took lsd and watched BNA

Yeah

Damn you for bringing the cursed crack ships back but also bless you

Robot Adrien is cute, I like that, reminds me of Conner. For some reason I’m thinking of Pinocchio rn, and Lila implants a bit of herself in him as his Chaotic Jiminy Cricket

Lila as a trapped consciousness is so dope, I wonder how she got trapped and if she has/had a body. Maybe for digging too deep into something? Got most of her mind wiped too probably. (Oh god it’s just Ene from Kagerou Days)

I’ve got this horrific but fun visual of Lila showing up on a ton of computers, maybe her coding of not wanting her to know what she knew causes her to snap a bit whenever she learns about something relating to her real self, She screams and pounds against the screen, telling anyone around to “LET ME OUT” before the computers crash and she reboots, completely unaware of what happened.

I like the mutant shit! That’s dope as fuck, I’ll keep it in,

But anyways, I like this a lot! Thank you!

[bambamramfan]

Cognitive Hazards of Existential Risk

Amid the world-changing catastrophe and lockdown we are all experiencing now, people are wasting no time arguing about “who saw this coming and who took it seriously first.” Just today I read TUOC’s back and forth https://theunitofcaring.tumblr.com/post/614319297954709504/shlevy-theunitofcaring-slatestarscratchpad and Scott’s post about existential risk more broadly https://slatestarcodex.com/2020/04/01/book-review-the-precipice/ and those are among people I respect.

We could get lost in the weeds on the object level. My impression is that everyone “took this seriously” before some people they know/read, and after other people they know/read, and so your own impression of your success there is more about which group of people you choose to focus on. Myself, I was arguing to my boss that our office needs to act on this faster on March 3rd, which is well after some people, and well before many government officials. I don’t think it says much about me. Rationalist blogs took it seriously before Vox took it seriously before CNN took it seriously before the President, and every group’s villains take the opportunity to dunk on those later in the chain while their heroes lament.

So let’s talk about the meta level instead. Or why I think all the slamming on people for not seeing this coming is pointless and won’t benefit us in the long run anyway.

Rationalism, and many of its adjacent groups, prize very highly the trait of “taking ideas seriously.” This means talking about principles or threats not just in some “this may happen some day to other people” sense and a symbol to chatter about, but changing their own life based on the conclusions these ideas lead to. And in some ways, especially regarding your core ethical principles, I think this is very useful. 

But there seems very little discussion of the very good reason that most people don’t do this. Picture yourself as a politician, a leader of the country or at least your community. In the past few years you have been told by highly intelligent people that you respect about the following major problems that will explode any moment: global warming, AI expansion, EU breakdown and financial interdependence, terrorist attacks with nuclear or biological weapons, resource crisis, white nationalism, ebola, the breakdown of the middle class and/or nuclear family, social unrest and police brutality, and the end of late stage capitalism. All of these are very serious problems that very serious people tell you you need to act on NOW or society will end, and as far as you can tell, are equally convincing. 

You could expend all your credibility on the first one to cross your desk, and be forgotten in a week. And actually, many politicians do. We forget them. (Or they are like Marco Rubio, chasing forever after the latest big thing https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/1244683450742947842 )

Successful politicians, ones who stick around, offer a Very Serious and Wide-Ranging Plan Addressing the Roots of this Crisis and Calling for Urgent Action, which often involves expert task forces and grants to some organizations, and then forget about it because nothing will happen on their plan and they know it. (In fact you can credit Joe Biden for doing this exact thing on January 27 https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2020/01/27/coronavirus-donald-trump-made-us-less-prepared-joe-biden-column/4581710002/ ). This is the opposite of “taking ideas seriously.” This is showing attention to a problem for the sake of others’ judgment, without having to change your life or direct action much at all.

Economists have a pithy version of this attitude, as applied to people who try to short a company that they just KNOW is over-valued: “The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent.” (And indeed, many investors who saw the 2008 financial crisis coming and tried to bet against it… bet in 2006 and 2007 and lost all their money first.)

You can’t just take every world-changing threat seriously at face-value and adjust your portfolio likewise. You will lose all your money, all your credibility, and have a broken shell of a life.

And most people, on a “meta-rational level”, actually know this? That you have to have some dissonance between your stated beliefs and how you guide your day to day existence, and that letting every change in the former affect your latter will throw you wildly off course. So they nod soberly at the new articles, maybe post online about it and use it as a reason to contribute $100 to their already favorite politician, maybe spend an equivalent amount on some consumer good that makes them feel prepared (gold against a financial crisis, prepping supplies, etc) and move on with their lives. And in most cases *this is very good for them.*

The problem being of course, that most cases are not all cases, and the one risk that proves out destroys all your hard work too.

The sort of competition-as-a-virtue ideology that the leading edge of our culture has now (from Wall St. to Silicon Valley) actually makes this worse. Even if you have an entirely accurate picture of future risk, if you have a competitor that just *ignores* or undervalues future risk, and doesn’t budget and plan for it, they can just beat you by price (or whatever.) Only entities that don’t have to worry about the short term can really prepare for future existential risk, and until now, our cultural ethos was very much against those sorts of entities, deriding them as traditional, monopolistic, and unaccountable (which they often were.)

The answer isn’t to just “ignore all future risks.” But it’s also really not to take a prideful stance of insisting *all* long-tail risks need to be treated with immediate seriousness. If you do this, you will find yourself very disappointed: as all your followers either ignore you, or lose all their money and sanity on the many other claims on their attention.

Unfortunately we actually need to analyze upcoming risks honestly. Most will never affect us. Some actually will. This is, well, incredibly hard. In particular a sense of proportion is very valuable here. (Rationalists like the linked SSC post will go on about the vital difference between .00001 and .01 chance, but frankly I think most people don’t react differently to .5 and .1 chance currently.) 

So let’s be honest about how people are actually coming to take this crisis seriously: it’s not because an expert presented them with a scary chart. People, especially top decision makers, are used to seeing scary charts. It is when the Real of the experience actually starts to hit them in the face. Almost every state put off any action until sick people were already in their state and multiplying by (if small) quickly increasing numbers.

You can’t even decide “well I will trust the experts in the field or this one particular expert I respect”, since well, the most common failure mode of experts is to vastly overstate the importance of their field.

There is an interesting side-tangent here of the difference between people who are “very online” and those not. For the past year the political internet had pondered this distinction, as twitter/etc discourse failed to resemble American voting outcomes so starkly, even among the Democratic primary voters. The implication was that by being “too online” we were stewing in so much self-referential memetic influences that we had lost touch with what “real people” thought, and so being very online was bad for your mental hygiene. In the past couple months, the lines of these categories persisted, but now it was the “very online” who were dramatically right about something relative to people just listening to talk radio and reading local papers.

--

(*Yes, this post uses the term “existential risk” for things that will just kill dozens of millions of people and raise unemployment to 20%, and not the technical meaning which would require the obliteration of all human life. Existential risk more commonly refers to “that would coerce drastic changes on you”, such as a neighboring army that can topple your government, without needing the whole complete extermination of humanity thing.)

[queenmuzz]

Deep Blue Sea: Chapter IV

The way to a merman’s heart....

For a link to the full story on Ao3, click here

“You gotta be more specific than 'small silvery fish with spots' when describing the type you like, Vergil. That covers dozens of groups, let alone individual types.” You sat, back to the glass, while on your laptop, pulling up picture after picture of similar looking fish. Vergil floated behind your shoulder, steadily dismissing each picture.

“Well, the issue is that you humans seem to have picked a different name for it than we have” he almost seemed faintly amused at your frustration.

“What does the name 'Cordina' mean anyway?” You closed the browser window with the latest batch of rejected pictures. Well, it wasn't herring... what if it was a fish that humans just didn't eat?

“It is just a name in Old Mer. Do your names of your food staples have to mean something?”

He had a point. A cow was just that... a cow. You grumbled, this was going nowhere... You slammed the laptop shut, and spun to face him. He had been a lot closer than you expected, nearly plastered to the glass, and he quickly darted back, as if he had been caught doing something bad. Had there been no glass or water there, you would have been able to feel his breath on the back of your neck.... the thought of that made you feel warm...

“Alright wise guy, tell me something else about the fish, like how it moves, where it lives, any peculiar oddities it doesn't share with any other fish.” He cocked his head to the side, and his eyes looked upward as he recalled the information.

“It prefers cold water, and usually stays in the far south, ” He said, which was no help. Quite a few species were like that. “But...every so often, when the seasons make a full cycle, a current of cold water juts far north, and the Cordina follow it, to forage in the new territory. At the same time, the warmth of the Ringed Sea pushes against it, forcing the fish into a long narrow column, close to the coast. And since the water is shallow, the fish are easy picking for both the birds above and the predators below. And thus, the feeding begins”

Hmmm, that sounded familiar...you wracked your brain, trying to remember where you had heard of that phenomenon. A memory of a professor, showing an image of the east coast of Southern Africa...AHA! You yanked open your laptop again, and typed in words, bringing up the image of a fish that fit the description. Flipping it around, you showed him.

“BEHOLD! The Sardine! Specifically Sardinops sagax, South African Sardine ” You watched as he cautiously approached the glass, peering at the image, scrutinizing it. You felt a sudden nervousness, as if you were waiting for your exam marks to be revealed.

And then he smiled.

It was a small smile, barely visible, but it was genuine, and beautiful. Something you wanted to see all the time.

“You're very knowledgeable about such things, I hadn't thought that you, a human, would know about something so far away, and in the ocean, to boot.”

“Well, it's what I studied in university” you watched the confused look on his face, “That's where some people go to learn things so they can specialize. Some want to learn about computers,” you tapped the laptop, “Some learn to teach children, and some, like me, want to learn and explore the ocean. Migration patterns of Sardines aren't my specialty, but we did learn about them from about a lecturer who had studied it.”

“Not your specialty?” He asked.

Well, the ocean is vast and for the most part, we don't know what's down there...so a lot of us just focus on one Ocean, one particular ecosystem, hell, sometimes one type of individual fish. I prefer to study the deep ocean, it's a whole new world out there. We know more about the moon-”

“The moon?”

“The thing in the sky, usually you see it at night, cycles between getting bigger and smaller...”

“Ah, the Tidemother....”

It had a nice ring to it, you thought... very romantic, you'd have to ask him more about terms he used. “Anyways, the cutting edge of what we don't understand is the deep ocean, since we can't just... go.. there. Not to mention, it's an entire ecosystem that's not dependent on the sun...the Moon's daytime counterpart.” you clarified.

"Tidefather” he responded, “and no doubt, once you scour the sea floor, you will find a way to exploit it, as humans are wont to do. Never satisfied with their lot in life, they take, and take, and take...” His fists balled up, and even though you were separated by thick glass, you felt the urge to scoot away. The old look of hatred you had first encountered came back with a vengeance.

“What? No!” you responded. “I mean, humanity as a whole has done a lot of damage, I'll admit to that, but we're trying to get better...bit by bit.”

“Fitting words for the daughter of a murderer...” he shot back, an you winced. He had a point. Your father's company (and soon to be yours) harvested thousands and thousands of tonnes of fish each year. But something didn't make sense...

“Not that I'm accusing you or anything, but you've been going after my father's fishing vessels, but I remember that during the Sardine Run, fishermen from the villages on the coast come out in droves to harvest the fish as well, why not attack them?”

A pregnant pause, and you were afraid you had offended him “They merely harvest to feed their families, and their fellow humans, and besides, they are merely one fish in a shoal. I do not feel ill will towards them anymore then I do against any of the other predators.” he calmly explained, before returning to his anger “However, when those ships, with nets that can envelop and harvest countless fish, can scour the oceans clean to feed their hungry maws, that's what I take issue with...”

“Point taken...but if I'm going to get you some of the fish, I'm going to have to buy it from someone who most likely participates in that sort of thing... so it's either kelp, another fish I can get locally, or... this.” He hesitated for moment, before bowing his head in defeat.

“If this is the price for keeping my sanity, so be it”

******

You sat on aquarium platform, with a plate of fresh sardines splayed out in an amateur design, as if it was a plate of hors d'oeuvres at a fancy dinner. Unfortunately, there hadn't been much choice at the market, so you were only able to procure a little over a dozen of the fresh ones (and had managed to finagle a deal with a bemused fishmonger to get a regular supply, citing that you were rehabilitating some sea mammal, it was technically true) but it would take a while to get the supply going. So, you attempted a substitute, which you stacked beside the plate. Cans, and cans, and cans of Sardines. The look the cashier gave you, and the way her eyes darted down to your stomach, to see if you were pregnant, was worth it, even if Vergil ended up hating the stuff.

“So, it doesn't look like sardines are in season, so the ones I got might not be the best condition,” you apologized as you opened one of the sardine cans, one packed in salt water. Perhaps he would like the canned ones that tasted as plain as possible, and then you could try out the more flavourful combinations.

Vergil pulled himself up onto the platform, scaring the bejeesus out of you. “Sheesh, give a gal a warning before you do something like that!”

The merman chuckled...his voice, now 'real' echoed through the room “Apologies, I take it you thought we do not surface.” (you made a mental note to attempt to make him laugh again.)

“Well, it doesn't seem very practical,” you said. “You seem to be specialized for aquatic travel, while being rather clumsy on land. The inverse is true for humans.” You realized how dry and clinical that sounded, how close you were to sounding like Doctor Griffon. Your hands covered your mouth “Oh God, that sounded so bad, I'm really... really sorry!”

Vergil chuckled again (tingles went down your spine, perhaps the tales of the merfolk's alluring voices had a kernel of truth.) “It is forgiven, you cannot help how you think. You seem to be a person who is constantly observing, eager to learn. There is nothing to be ashamed in that, as long as you realize your limitations. Something the 'Good Doctor' could take a lesson on...”

He picked up one of the sardines by his tail, and with a quick motion that surprised you, he swallowed the fish whole, bones and all. At first you thought it was because he was famished, but then one sardine turned into two, then three, then half a dozen were gulped like a baleen whale gulping an entire shoal. You were used to animals eating like that, but the image of someone so humanlike.... well, you excused yourself, and went into the kitchen to get yourself something to eat (and hopefully settle your stomach). You weren't sure what you wanted, but you wanted something quick and easy.... And as you checked your cupboards, you found it... a plastic package. Pulling out a pot and filling it with water, you began to cook.

Five minutes later, you came out with a steaming bowl of ramen in salty broth. And what you saw nearly made you laugh. Vergil had devoured the entire plate of sardines, the opened can of of sardines in salt water, and was attempting to open another can, one with sardines packed in olive oil. He wasn't having much luck with it, frowning intently as he rotated the can, attempting to find out how to open the treasure box. You stood back, allowing him to explore, until he finally figured the pull tab, and with a bit of effort, he ripped open the top. He grinned at his success, but in his attempt to grab the reward within, he gripped the can by the sharp, recently opened edge. The can was dropped onto the platform with a clatter as he hissed in pain. A stream of blood bloomed on his palm. Quickly setting your bowl down, you ran over.

“Oh no, are you alright?” and before he could protest, you grabbed his hand to inspect the damage. Vaguely, you realized this was the first time you had touched him. His hands were remarkably soft, especially considering the salt water that he spent his life in. A thin red line on his palm indicated a pretty nasty cut....Or it would have, if it was not rapidly healing in front of your eyes.

“How in the...”

“We heal fairly rapidly, especially compared to you humans, we're not sure why, but it grants us a resiliency that most creatures in the ocean lack. How you humans survive without that ability, I have no idea” He, huffed, amused as you used your ratty old shirt to wipe the blood away to reveal that, yes the cut had healed within a few moments, leaving not even a scar. “You didn't have to do that, I would have licked it off.”

“You...lick your own blood?” you asked, part appalled, part intrigued.

“The less blood we shed, the less likely predators will be attracted,” he explained, and you realized that was probably the same reason for his super-healing. Or if a shark or something did approach, the merfolk would be healed enough to fight back or flee. You were learning more and more things about these people, and just by having a conversation, and treating him as an equal. The 'Doctor' was an idiot, he could have gained so much more knowledge, but no, he was compelled to be a douchebag.

As Vergil (carefully) opened another can of sardines, this time in tomato sauce, you went back to your bowl, now reasonably cooled off, and began slurping away. You watched as he swallowed the sardine, and resisted the urge to laugh at the face he made.

“Not a fan, eh? Ah well, you can't like everything.”

“Indeed, a bit too...sweet for my taste” He looked at the other cans, his brow furrowed, before he looked at you, no, he was looking at the bowl in your lap. The tip of his tongue stuck out, as if he was attempting to mentally form a sentence.

“Would you like to try some of my ramen? It's very salty, probably right up your alley”

“My alley?”

“It means I think you'll like it”

He hesitated for a second...before he nodded, and twirling your fork, you wound a small sized portion, before handing the fork to him. You'd expected (foolishly, in hindsight) that he'd take the fork from you, but instead, he shimmied a bit towards your direction, and carefully, fed off your fork. You couldn't resist giggling as he politely slurped up the noodles. “So, how is it?”

He didn't answer, his smile did more than words ever could

[prcphetess]

greetings ladies, theydies, n gaydies !  it’s officially pride month / my birth month which means my power and chaos are both at their absolute highest so i apologize in advance :/  ANYWAY i’m hannah, i’m twenty but only for a couple more weeks, i’m kickin it in the est, n i use she/her pronouns !  now onto what you’re all here for ...

enter LOURDES CLEMONTE .

her app / bio are kind of Wild Rides but if ur in the business of reading i did send her app in the discord server n i also have Just her bio linked on her navigation tab as well as a stats page !! but i’ll try my best to summarize all the important stuff here !

also before we get started .. a quick TW for child loss, non-descriptive mentions of grooming, sexual harassment/assault, abuse, car crashes, n death and i THINK that’s everything

HISTORY.

it all started w her dad .. leopold clemonte.. in summary: fuck that guy !

he’s a hot shot author turned movie writer man but in order to gain all of his success he had to make a series of shady deals w none other than our petty king apollo

deal #1 was the life of her twin brother :(

deal #2 was her mother’s sanity aka she became like.. a ghost essentially who no longer speaks or interacts w anyone it’s very sad

deal #3 was meant to be lourdes 

now to backtrack a minute, our girl lou went to school to become a playwright bc her whole life she was desperate to make herself seem worthy to her father n unfortunately leopold knew this and used it to his advantage when apollo demanded he pay off his debt

leopold essentially groomed her to please apollo and promised that she would have a hand in his business forever if she could do tht so she was like okay :)

until .. apollo’s price got too high... u know... n she dared to say no and for that she was Punished

aka cursed

but more about that later

anyway bc she royally pissed off apollo by rejecting him, leopold ALSO lost all his help in being famous and had to turn to a famously wealthy family in california known as the grimaldis 

in order to get them to fund him, he forced lourdes to marry their son brooks who was Not A Nice Man 

2 years into their marriage brooks died in a car accident tht lou Might have caused.. for legal reasons i can neither confirm nor deny whether tht happened but the police didn’t charge her so do with tht what you will 

but she kind of went on the run anyway bc post-curse her doctors were like “nah this bitch is straight up crazy” and she knew her dad wasnt gonna b happy with her for another deal going sour so .. she ran !  and she’s kinda been hotel hopping between towns for the last 3 years trying her best not to interact w anyone !

CURSE.

lou’s curse is all abt prophecy baby !

okay so basically she can see the future of things/objects via touching them which was a whole big symbolic thing in the app bc she “deceived” apollo w her hands .. idk man here’s the line from the bio tht says it best

he  binds  her  wrists  and  says  because  it  was  your  hands  you  used  to  lie ,  now  your  hands  will  see  the  truth  as  he  renders  her  incapable  of  touching  anything  or  anyone  without  foreseeing  an  imminent  doom .  you  will  see  but  never  be  seen ,  he  says .  you  will  hear  but  never  be  heard .

ofc in true cassandra style, if she tries to talk to anyone abt her curse ever it’s like the earth swallowed her whole.. nobody can hear her.. nobody can see her.. nothing.. 

she also has absolutely no idea how to control it at all so like sometimes they’re very vivid images of something going to happen sometimes theyre more like bad feelings abt things .. it’s like a fun game where she never knows whats gonna happen and the prophecies ruin her life !

another quote bc im too lazy to resummarize things

the  general  rule  of  thumb ,  however ,  is  that  the  smaller  the  vision ,  the  easier  it  is  to  see  clearly .  small - scale  or  individual  prophecies  —  like  her  university  president  having  a  heart  attack  —  are  generally  more  easy  to  distinguish .  in  comparison ,  the  years  of  anguish  that  brooks  would  later  cause  her  were  much  harder  to  pin  down  and  presented  themselves  more  as  a  more  general  sense  of  danger .

 the only way she can stop it is with a literal.. physical barrier so she sometimes wears gloves but she can only have them on for a small amount of time before her body starts to reject it and make her Physically Unwell so she has to pick n choose man its unfortunate

EXTRA INFO.

man homegirl is Lonely.. big time... she’s just been avoiding human contact for such a long time she’s ALONE !

she has 2 major scars from the car accident, one on her left cheek from the windshield and one down her right shoulder/bicep from the window and both are very much noticeable :(

she very much loves this small town feeling bc she loves to b invisible and it’s so easy to in sleepy nowhere towns like this

she lives off the database property in like .. a tiny run down house that she’s putting all her time and energy into fixing up n she likes it a lot bc she hasnt had a home of her own in a long time

she also has a black cat named ernest, named after the play the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde

she’s also been working on a PLAY for the last few years, it’s a greek-esque tragic “romance” between the sun and the moon, where the sun is based on apollo and the moon is based on her and it does end with the sun realizing tht the moon is the only person w the power to eclipse him and extinguish him so get fucked apollo !

also speaking of writing she writes a letter home to her mom once every couple of months even tho like .. she can’t really read.. it’s very sad, lou is very sad, thank u for listening

ok this is already like .. stupid long.. so im gonna call it a day WHEW but thank u for reading n i think i’ve honestly already plotted w most of u but feel free 2 like this anyway n i’ll either slide into ur dms either to plot or just to say hey KSDJFSK :)

[arplis]

Arplis - News: 50 of the Best Kindle Unlimited Books You Can Read in 2020

Are you ready for the best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020? Last year I gave you the worlds best advice when offering up 50 of the best Kindle Unlimited books to read in 2019. This year Im going to totally blow your mind by offering up another 50 of the best Kindle Unlimited Books for you to check out in the ding-dong new year.

If you werent privy to last years post and you dont want to waste time reading about books that are so last-decade, you can check this out to find out how Kindle Unlimited works. You can finally get the facts about Prime Reading vs Kindle Unlimited. Hell, Ill even pop in a handy-dandy guide to the difference between Kindle Unlimited and Audible.

If youre still not 100% pumped for Kindle Unlimited then why dont you check out this free 30-day trial and find out for your dang selfand this list of the best Kindle Unlimited books for 2020 will help get you started.

Descriptions have been pulled from Amazon.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Romance

Love Unsolicited by Alexandra Warren

Everything in this world is for sale to the people who can afford it Joella Mason knows the difference between what she needs and what she wants. But when the line between the two becomes especially thin, she finds herself on a quest for something missing, not expecting that to come in the package of a sexy stranger with an even sexier proposition. They share a night. Desires are fulfilled. But at what price?

A Taste of Her Own Medicine by Tasha L. Harrison

Sonja Watts needs to re-enter the workforce after divorcing her husband of thirteen years. Taking the advice of her sister Birdie and her best friend Estelle, she signs up for a six-week course for entrepreneurs; hoping that she will learn everything she needs to know to build a business to support herself and her kids. On the first night of class, Sonja is able to ignore the fact that most of the students were younger than her by ten years or more. It was what she expected. But when the instructor walks in, she debates packing up her new twelve hundred dollar laptop and walking out. Sonja couldnt remember the last time she looked at a man with little more interest than she give a sturdy dining room table. She was just disinterested. But wow, did Atlas James grab her interest.

Christmas in the City by Bria Felicien

Zoe is trying to survive the holiday season without succumbing to winter gloom. By chance, she meets DeAndre, who approaches her with an offer she cant refuse.

Falling for a Knight by T Russ

While vacationing in Trinidad, world-renowned photographer Roman Knight unexpectedly acquires a new muse, Cynthia Tremaine. Their chemistry is off the charts and they cant resist giving into a night of passion together. Neither of them expected to see each other again after they parted waysbut fate seemed to have other plans.

With Your Permission by Stephanie Nicole Norris

As the CEO of Building Bridges LLC, Bri is driven by determination for success. However, while planning the wedding of one of Chicagos hottest couples, Bris focus is shifted when the strum of a nocturnal voice captures her attention. Being an empath has empowered her sense of compassion for others, so shes not only drawn to him because of his broken heart but also from a fierce attraction that sparks her interest and tap dances on a groove on her heart. Getting involved with someone whos not open to love may prove to be the most difficult road Bri has ever journeyed, but shes unable to stop herself from falling into an irresistible tango of love.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Cookbooks

Instant Pot Cookbook @2020: 600 Foolproof Recipes For Beginners and Advanced Users by Matilda Armstrong

Do you want quick & easy solutions in the kitchen mastering your Instant Pot? Are you willing to have more free time while cooking delicious meals? Well, if the answer is yes, then thats why Im here for. To help you with achieving this, I focused on creating the one and only Instant Pot cookbook, for excellent results, with easy and effortless to cook recipes for anyone.

Meal Prep for Two: 8 Weekly Plans & 75 Recipes to Get Healthier Together by Casey Seiden

Convenience doesnt have to come with a cost to your wallet, health, or sanity! Now you can prepare delicious, nourishing dishes for two ahead of timeand savor them throughout the week, stress-free. Whether youre prepping food with a partner, family member, or roommate, Meal Prep for Two will help you build simple and balanced meals together.

#ISeafoodDifferently: 11 Of My Most Popular Recipes and The Stories Behind Them by Chef Kendric Smith

This recipe book is the first of many to come. Its my pleasure to share my cooking secrets with you!!

Bread Baking for Beginners: The Essential Guide to Baking Kneaded Breads, No-Knead Breads, and Enriched Breads by Bonnie Ohara

Baking a perfect loaf of bread is part science and part magic. Created from four simple ingredients of flour, yeast, water, and salt, breadmaking is one of the most difficult (and delicious) baking endeavors. Bread Baking for Beginners is a rare bread cookbook for true beginners to keep their bread baking on the rise.

The Baking Bible by Rose Levy Beranbaum

The latest and most comprehensive baking book yet from best-selling author and diva of desserts Rose Levy Beranbaum and winner of the 2015 IACP Cookbook Award for Baking. Legendary baker Rose Levy Beranbaum is back with her most extensive bible yet. With all-new recipes for the best cakes, pies, tarts, cookies, candies, pastries, breads, and more, this magnum opus draws from Roses passion and expertise in every category of baking. As is to be expected from the woman whos been called the most meticulous cook who ever lived, each sumptuous recipe is truly foolproofwith detail-oriented instructions that eliminate guesswork, plan-aheads, ingenious tips, and highlights for success. From simple everyday crowd-pleasers (Coffee Crumb Cake Muffins, Gingersnaps, Gooseberry Crisp) to show-stopping stunners (Chocolate Hazelnut Mousse Tart, Mango Bango Cheesecake, White Christmas Peppermint Cake) to bakery-style pastries developed for the home kitchen (the famous French Kouign Amann), every recipe proves that delicious perfection is within reach for any baker.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: YA

True to Me by Kay Bratt

Quinn Maguire has a stable life, a fianc, and what she thinks is a clear vision for her future. All of that comes undone by her mothers deathbed confessionthe absentee father Quinn spent thirty years resenting is not her real father at all. With that one revealing whisper, Quinn embarks on a journey to Maui, her mothers childhood home, a storied paradise that holds the truth about her mothers past and all its secrets Quinn is determined to uncover.

Regretting You by Colleen Hoover

Morgan Grant and her sixteen-year-old daughter, Clara, would like nothing more than to be nothing alike. Morgan is determined to prevent her daughter from making the same mistakes she did. By getting pregnant and married way too young, Morgan put her own dreams on hold. Clara doesnt want to follow in her mothers footsteps. Her predictable mother doesnt have a spontaneous bone in her body. With warring personalities and conflicting goals, Morgan and Clara find it increasingly difficult to coexist. The only person who can bring peace to the household is ChrisMorgans husband, Claras father, and the family anchor. But that peace is shattered when Chris is involved in a tragic and questionable accident. The heartbreaking and long-lasting consequences will reach far beyond just Morgan and Clara.

The Will and the Wilds by Charlie N. Holmberg

Enna knows to fear the mystings that roam the wildwood near her home. When one tries to kill her to obtain an enchanted stone, Enna takes a huge risk: fighting back with a mysting of her own. Maekalluss help isnt free. His price? A kiss. One with the power to steal her soul. But their deal leaves Maekallus bound to the mortal realm, which begins eating him alive. Only Ennas kiss, given willingly, can save him from immediate destruction. Its a temporary salvation for Maekallus and a lingering doom for Enna. Part of her soul now burns bright inside Maekallus, making him feel for the first time.

Not My Type of Stranger by Prachi Gupta

Lakshya is living the playboy life and he LOVES it. He doesnt believe in love and has never failed to get a girl in his lifeuntil he meets Ridhima, the new girl next door. He prefers easy hook-ups, and shes definitely not his type. Shes totally uninterested in him and he cant stand it. Hell stop at nothing to win her. But Ridhima has a secret of her own which will make it remarkably more difficult for him to get close to her. What happens when Lakshya gets to know about the secret? Will they end up falling for one another? or Will she be the one to break his heart? A story about a bad boy falling for the good girl and not just any good girl, a hot sexy good girl with a big secret.

Girl at Heart by Kelly Oram

As the daughter of a successful Major League pitcher, Charlie Hastings has baseball in her blood. Unfortunately, being the only girl on her high school baseball team, Charlie has always been just one of the guys. When her best friend, and secret love of her life, asks another girl to the prom, Charlie is devastated. Shes tired of being overlooked by boys because shes not like other girls. Suffering a massive identity crisis, she decides to hang up her cleats and finally learn how to be a girl. But with only two weeks until the state championships, the Roosevelt High Ravens cant afford to lose their star catcher. Team captain Jace King makes her a deal: Dont quit the team, and hell help her become the girl shes so desperate to be. After all, hes got four sisters, one of whom happens to be a cheerleader. He knows a thing or two about girls. (And if he can win her heart in the process, all the better.)

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Science Fiction/Fantasy

The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood

The Handmaids Tale is a novel of such power that the reader will be unable to forget its images and its forecast. Set in the near future, it describes life in what was once the United States and is now called the Republic of Gilead, a monotheocracy that has reacted to social unrest and a sharply declining birthrate by reverting to, and going beyond, the repressive intolerance of the original Puritans. The regime takes the Book of Genesis absolutely at its word, with bizarre consequences for the women and men in its population.

1984 by George Orwell

In 1984, London is a grim city in the totalitarian state of Oceania where Big Brother is always watching you and the Thought Police can practically read your mind. Winston Smith is a man in grave danger for the simple reason that his memory still functions. Drawn into a forbidden love affair, Winston finds the courage to join a secret revolutionary organization called The Brotherhood, dedicated to the destruction of the Party. Together with his beloved Julia, he hazards his life in a deadly match against the powers that be.

The Tombs of Atuan by Ursula K. Le Guin

When young Tenar is chosen as high priestess to the ancient and nameless Powers of the Earth, everything is taken away home, family, possessions, even her name. For she is now Arha, the Eaten One, guardian of the ominous Tombs of Atuan. While she is learning her way through the dark labyrinth, a young wizard, Ged, comes to steal the Tombs greatest hidden treasure, the Ring of Erreth-Akbe. But Ged also brings with him the light of magic, and together, he and Tenar escape from the darkness that has become her domain.

The Vine Witch by Luanne G. Smith

For centuries, the vineyards at Chteau Renard have depended on the talent of their vine witches, whose spells help create the world-renowned wine of the Chanceaux Valley. Then the skill of divining harvests fell into ruin when sorcire Elena Boureanu was blindsided by a curse. Now, after breaking the spell that confined her to the shallows of a marshland and weakened her magic, Elena is struggling to return to her former life. And the vineyard she was destined to inherit is now in the possession of a handsome stranger.

Wastelands: The New Apocalypse edited by John Joseph Adams featuring Carmen Maria Machado, Ken Liu & many more

In WASTELANDS: THE NEW APOCALYPSE, veteran anthology editor John Joseph Adams is once again our guide through the wastelands using his genre and editorial expertise to curate his finest collection of post-apocalyptic short fiction yet. Whether the end comes via nuclear war, pandemic, climate change, or cosmological disaster, these stories explore the extraordinary trials and tribulations of those who survive. Featuring never-before-published tales by: Veronica Roth, Hugh Howey, Jonathan Maberry, Seanan McGuire, Tananarive Due, Richard Kadrey, Scott Sigler, Elizabeth Bear, Tobias S. Buckell, Meg Elison, Greg van Eekhout, Wendy N. Wagner, Jeremiah Tolbert, and Violet Allenplus, recent reprints by: Carmen Maria Machado, Carrie Vaughn, Ken Liu, Paolo Bacigalupi, Kami Garcia, Charlie Jane Anders, Catherynne M. Valente, Jack Skillingstead, Sofia Samatar, Maureen F. McHugh, Nisi Shawl, Adam-Troy Castro, Dale Bailey, Susan Jane Bigelow, Corinne Duyvis, Shaenon K. Garrity, Nicole Kornher-Stace, Darcie Little Badger, Timothy Mudie, and Emma Osborne.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: General Fiction/Literary Fiction

Where the Story Starts by Imogen Clark

As single mother Leah struggles to get her children ready one morning, the doorbell rings. Standing on the doorstep of their terraced house in Whitley Bay is a well-dressed stranger, Clio, who feels an emotional tie to the house that she cant explain. The story should end there, but a long-buried secret is already on its way to the surface

The Overdue Life of Amy Byler by Kelly Harms

Overworked and underappreciated, single mom Amy Byler needs a break. So when the guilt-ridden husband who abandoned her shows up and offers to take care of their kids for the summer, she accepts his offer and escapes rural Pennsylvania for New York City. Usually grounded and mild mannered, Amy finally lets her hair down in the city that never sleeps. She discovers a life filled with culture, sophistication, andwith a little encouragement from her friendsa few blind dates. When one man in particular makes quick work of Amys heart, she risks losing herself completely in the unexpected escape, and as the summer comes to an end, Amy realizes too late that she must make an impossible decision: stay in this exciting new chapter of her life, or return to the life she left behind.

The Murmur of Bees by Sofa Segovia

From the day that old Nana Reja found a baby abandoned under a bridge, the life of a small Mexican town forever changed. Disfigured and covered in a blanket of bees, little Simonopio is for some locals the stuff of superstition, a child kissed by the devil. But he is welcomed by landowners Francisco and Beatriz Morales, who adopt him and care for him as if he were their own. As he grows up, Simonopio becomes a cause for wonder to the Morales family, because when the uncannily gifted child closes his eyes, he can see what no one else canvisions of all thats yet to come, both beautiful and dangerous. Followed by his protective swarm of bees and living to deliver his adoptive family from threatsboth human and those of natureSimonopios purpose in Linares will, in time, be divined.

One for the Blackbird, One for the Crow: A Novel by Olivia Hawker

Wyoming, 1876. For as long as they have lived on the frontier, the Bemis and Webber families have relied on each other. With no other settlers for miles, it is a matter of survival. But when Ernest Bemis finds his wife, Cora, in a compromising situation with their neighbor, he doesnt think of survival. In one impulsive moment, a man is dead, Ernest is off to prison, and the women left behind are divided by rage and remorse. Losing her husband to Coras indiscretion is another hardship for stoic Nettie Mae. But as a brutal Wyoming winter bears down, Cora and Nettie Mae have no choice but to come together as one familyto share the duties of working the land and raising their children. Theres Nettie Maes son, Clydeno longer a boy, but not yet a manwho must navigate the road to adulthood without a father to guide him, and Coras daughter, Beulah, who is as wild and untamable as her prairie home.

Halsey Street by Naima Coster

Penelope Grand has scrapped her failed career as an artist in Pittsburgh and moved back to Brooklyn to keep an eye on her ailing father. Shes accepted that her future wont be what shed dreamed, but now, as gentrification has completely reshaped her old neighborhood, even her past is unrecognizable. Old haunts have been razed, and wealthy white strangers have replaced every familiar face in Bed-Stuy. Even her mother, Mirella, has abandoned the family to reclaim her roots in the Dominican Republic. That took courage. Its also unforgivable.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Biography and Memoir

If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen

After more than a decade, when sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek hear the word mom, it claws like an eagles talons, triggering memories that have been their secret since childhood. Until now. For years, behind the closed doors of their farmhouse in Raymond, Washington, their sadistic mother, Shelly, subjected her girls to unimaginable abuse, degradation, torture, and psychic terrors. Through it all, Nikki, Sami, and Tori developed a defiant bond that made them far less vulnerable than Shelly imagined. Even as others were drawn into their mothers dark and perverse web, the sisters found the strength and courage to escape an escalating nightmare that culminated in multiple murders.

The Boy Between Worlds: A Biography by Annejet van der Zijl

When they fell in love in 1928, Rika and Waldemar could not have been more different. She was a thirty-seven-year-old Dutch-born mother, estranged from her husband. He was her immigrant boarder, not yet twenty, and a wealthy Surinamese descendant of slaves. The child they have together, brown skinned and blue eyed, brings the couple great joy yet raises some eyebrows. Until the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands explodes their promising life. What unfolds is more than the astonishing story of a love that prevailed over convention. Its also the quest of a young boy. Through the cruelty of World War II, he will fight for a connection between his fathers South American birthplace and his mothers European traditions. Lost and displaced for much of his life, but with a legacy of resilience in his blood, he will struggle to find his place in the world.

The Pale-Faced Lie: A True Story by David Crow

Growing up on the Navajo Indian Reservation, David Crow and his three siblings idolized their dad. Tall, strong, smart, and brave, the self-taught Cherokee regaled his family with stories of his World War II feats. But as time passed, David discovered the other side of Thurston Crow, the ex-con with his own code of ethics that justified cruelty, violence, lieseven murder.

Prognosis: A Memoir of My Brain by Sarah Vallance

When Sarah Vallance is thrown from a horse and suffers a jarring blow to the head, she believes shes walked away unscathed. The next morning, things take a sharp turn as shes led from work to the emergency room. By the end of the week, a neurologist delivers a devastating prognosis: Sarah suffered a traumatic brain injury that has caused her IQ to plummet, with no hope of recovery. Her brain has irrevocably changed.

Born Survivors: Three Young Mothers and Their Extraordinary Story of Courage, Defiance, and Hope by Wendy Holden

The Nazis murdered their husbands but concentration camp prisoners Priska, Rachel, and Anka would not let evil take their unborn children tooa remarkable true story that will appeal to readers of The Lost and The Nazi Officers Wife, Born Survivors celebrates three mothers who defied death to give their children life.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Business/Money

Girl On Fire: How to Choose Yourself, Burn the Rule Book, and Blaze Your Own Trail in Life and Business by Cara Alwill Leyba

Who would you be if you stopped following *their* rules? What would you create if you create if you had nothing holding you back? Now that women entrepreneurs are banding together in sisterhood and realizing the importance of collaboration over competition, its time to take things to the next level. Its time to rise up, together, and challenge the status quo. Its time to question the way things have been done in the past, to write our own rules, and do life and business OUR way.

Understanding Your Clients through Human Design: The Breakthrough Technology by Robin Winn MFT

Human Design is the next evolution after Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, and other innovative profiling systems. Whether your field is psychotherapy, recovery, coaching, or healing arts, and whether your clients are individuals, couples, families, or business teams, Understanding Your Clients through Human Design will empower your work and call you to reconsider how you approach people.

The 60 Minute Startup: A Proven System to Start Your Business in 1 Hour a Day and Get Your First Paying Customers in 30 Days (or Less) by Ramesh Dontha

Over 543,000 new businesses are started every month. Most fail. Many never get a paying customer. Why? Because new entrepreneurs are told to start with why, take internet marketing courses, and spend hours doing market research. Do these time-intensive activities attract customers? Make sales? Create profit? No! If youre ready to finally start a profitable business and dump the bad business advice that keeps you confused, overwhelmed, and broke, The 60 Minute Startup is for you. This book gives you a proven system on how to start a business online in just one hour a day and get your first paying customers in one month (or less).

Buy Hold Sell: The Street SmartWay to Real Estate Wealthby Lou Brown

At the turn of the 19th century, billionaire Andrew Carnegie famously said that 90% of millionaires got their wealth by investing in real estate. And guess what? Most millionaires, and even the ultra-rich, would tell you that is still true. Spend a few minutes Googling the phrase should I invest in real estate and it will quickly become clear that real estate investing is a great idea. What isnt so clear, though, is how to get started! Thats what this book will show you. Lou Brown bought his first piece of real estate in 1976 and never stopped. Over the years hes experienced more lessons from the school of hard knocks than he can count and has built a tremendously profitable real estate portfolio. Along the way, Lou discovered that he had a knack for structuring win-win deals, plus creating contracts and paperwork that gave him a competitive edge over other investors. In 1987 he began teaching others his proprietary method of investing, including the unique, proven Buy-Hold-Sell system he created the subject of this book.

A Beginners Guide to the Stock Market: Everything You Need to Start Making Money Today by Matthew R. Kratter

This book will teach you everything that you need to know to start making money in the stock market today. Dont gamble with your hard-earned money. If you are going to make a lot of money, you need to know how the stock market really works. You need to avoid the pitfalls and costly mistakes that beginners make. And you need time-tested trading and investing strategies that actually work. This book gives you everything that you will need. Its a simple road map that anyone can follow.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Graphic Novels

Akai Chapter 0 How To Become Strong by Anfernee Robinson

Akai is a young child with high hopes; bound in a society full of undiscovered powers; raised by Grandma in the Jex helps him develop a strong will. He will one day, begin a trial to Heavens Gate. The journey is a troubled one. The Black Orlov chain opens unparalleled events. Will Akai reach his Ultimate goal? Or will Akai bend fate forever?

Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes & Nocturnes 30th Anniversary Edition by Neil Gaiman

New York Times best-selling author Neil Gaimans transcendent series THE SANDMAN is often hailed as the definitive Vertigo title and one of the finest achievements in graphic storytelling. Gaiman created an unforgettable tale of the forces that exist beyond life and death by weaving ancient mythology, folklore and fairy tales with his own distinct narrative vision. In PRELUDES & NOCTURNES, an occultist attempting to capture Death to bargain for eternal life traps her younger brother Dream instead. After his 70 year imprisonment and eventual escape, Dream, also known as Morpheus, goes on a quest for his lost objects of power. On his arduous journey Morpheus encounters Lucifer, John Constantine, and an all-powerful madman.

The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury by Bill Watterson

Bill Wattersons Calvin and Hobbes has been a worldwide favorite since its introduction in 1985. The strip follows the richly imaginative adventures of Calvin and his trusty tiger, Hobbes. Whether a poignant look at serious family issues or a round of time-travel (with the aid of a well-labeled cardboard box), Calvin and Hobbes will astound and delight you.

Fire Force Vol. 1 by Atsushi Ohkubo

The city of Tokyo is plagued by a deadly phenomenon: spontaneous human combustion! Luckily, a special team is there to quench the inferno: The Fire Force! The fire soldiers at Special Fire Cathedral 8 are about to get a unique addition. Enter Shinra, a boy who possesses the power to run at the speed of a rocket, leaving behind the famous devils footprints (and destroying his shoes in the process). Can Shinra and his cooleagues discover the source of this strange epidemic before the city burns to ashes?

Anne of Green Gables: A Graphic Novel by Mariah Marsden

The magic of L.M. Montgomerys treasured classic is reimagined in a whimsically-illustrated graphic novel adaptation perfect for newcomers and kindred spirits alike. When Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert decide to adopt an orphan who can help manage their family farm, they have no idea what delightful trouble awaits them. With flame-red hair and an unstoppable imagination, 11-year-old Anne Shirley takes Green Gables by storm. Annes misadventures bring a little romance to the lives of everyone she meets: her bosom friend, Diana Barry; the town gossip, Mrs. Lynde; and that infuriating tease, Gilbert Blythe. From triumphs and thrills to the depths of despair, Anne turns each everyday moment into something extraordinary.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Mystery/Thriller/Suspense

When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara ONeal

Her sister has been dead for fifteen years when she sees her on the TV news Josie Bianci was killed years ago on a train during a terrorist attack. Gone forever. Its what her sister, Kit, an ER doctor in Santa Cruz, has always believed. Yet all it takes is a few heart-wrenching seconds to upend Kits world. Live coverage of a club fire in Auckland has captured the image of a woman stumbling through the smoke and debris. Her resemblance to Josie is unbelievable. And unmistakable. With it comes a flood of emotionsgrief, loss, and angerthat Kit finally has a chance to put to rest: by finding the sister whos been living a lie.

Uptown Thief by Aya de Len

Marisol Rivera barely survived being abused with nowhere to turn. So theres nothing she wont do to keep her Lower East Side womens health clinic open and give disadvantaged women new lives. Running an exclusive escort service for New York Citys rich and powerful 1 percent is the perfect way to bankroll her businessnot to mention the perfect cover for robbing corrupt CEOs. And when times get even tougher, pulling a heist on a mega-billionaire will secure the clinics futureand her gorgeous crewsfor good. . . Theres just one problem: Marisol didnt anticipate bad news even more dangerous than her curves.

Unspeakable Things by Jess Lourey

Cassie McDowells life in 1980s Minnesota seems perfectly wholesome. She lives on a farm, loves school, and has a crush on the nicest boy in class. Yes, there are her parents strange parties and their parade of deviant guests, but shes grown accustomed to them. All that changes when someone comes hunting in Lilydale. One by one, local boys go missing. One by one, they return changedviolent, moody, and withdrawn.

We Were Mothers: A Novel by Katie Sise

A scandalous revelation is about to devastate a picturesque town where the houses are immaculate and the neighborhoods are tightly knit. Devoted mother Cora OConnell has found the journal of her friend Laurels daughtera beautiful college student who lives next doorrevealing an illicit encounter. Hours later, Laurel makes a shattering discovery of her own: her daughter has vanished without a trace. Over the course of one weekend, the crises of two close families are about to trigger a chain reaction that will expose a far more disturbing web of secrets. Now everything is at stake as theyre forced to confront the lies they have told in order to survive.

In the Dark by Loreth Anne White

The promise of a luxury vacation at a secluded wilderness spa has brought together eight lucky guests. But nothing is what they were led to believe. As a fierce storm barrels down and all contact with the outside is cut off, the guests fear that its not a getaway. Its a trap. Each one has a secret. Each one has something to hide. And now, as darkness closes in, they all have something to fearincluding one another.

Best Kindle Unlimited Books 2020: Politics/Social Science

The Gene: An Intimate History by Siddhartha Mukherjee

Dr. Siddhartha Mukherjee dazzled readers with his Pulitzer Prize-winning The Emperor of All Maladies in 2010. That achievement was evidently just a warm-up for his virtuoso performance in The Gene: An Intimate History, in which he braids science, history, and memoir into an epic with all the range and biblical thunder of Paradise Lost (The New York Times). In this biography Mukherjee brings to life the quest to understand human heredity and its surprising influence on our lives, personalities, identities, fates, and choices.

A River in Darkness: One Mans Escape from North Korea by Masaji Ishikawa

Half-Korean, half-Japanese, Masaji Ishikawa has spent his whole life feeling like a man without a country. This feeling only deepened when his family moved from Japan to North Korea when Ishikawa was just thirteen years old, and unwittingly became members of the lowest social caste. His father, himself a Korean national, was lured to the new Communist country by promises of abundant work, education for his children, and a higher station in society. But the reality of their new life was far from utopian. In this memoir translated from the original Japanese, Ishikawa candidly recounts his tumultuous upbringing and the brutal thirty-six years he spent living under a crushing totalitarian regime, as well as the challenges he faced repatriating to Japan after barely escaping North Korea with his life. A River in Darkness is not only a shocking portrait of life inside the country but a testament to the dignityand indomitable natureof the human spirit.

The Mueller Report by The Washington Post

Read the findings of the Special Counsels investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, complete with accompanying analysis by the Post reporters whove covered the story from the beginning.

War on Peace: The End of Diplomacy and the Decline of American Influence by Ronan Farrow

US foreign policy is undergoing a dire transformation, forever changing Americas place in the world. Institutions of diplomacy and development are bleeding out after deep budget cuts; the diplomats who make Americas deals and protect its citizens around the world are walking out in droves. Offices across the State Department sit empty, while abroad the military-industrial complex has assumed the work once undertaken by peacemakers. Were becoming a nation that shoots first and asks questions later. In an astonishing journey from the corridors of power in Washington, DC, to some of the most remote and dangerous places on earthAfghanistan, Somalia, and North Korea among themacclaimed investigative journalist Ronan Farrow illuminates one of the most consequential and poorly understood changes in American history. His firsthand experience as a former State Department official affords a personal look at some of the last standard bearers of traditional statecraft, including Richard Holbrooke, who made peace in Bosnia and died while trying to do so in Afghanistan.

Mossad: The Greatest Missions of the Israeli Secret Service by Michael Bar-Zohar

For decades, Israels renowned security arm, the Mossad, has been widely recognized as the best intelligence service in the world. In Mossad, authors Michael Bar-Zohar and Nissim Mishal take us behind the closed curtain with riveting, eye-opening, boots-on-the-ground accounts of the most dangerous, most crucial missions in the agencys 60-year history. These are real Mission: Impossible true stories brimming with high-octane actionfrom the breathtaking capture of Nazi executioner Adolph Eichmann to the recent elimination of key Iranian nuclear scientists. Anyone who is fascinated by the world of international espionage, intelligence, and covert Black-Ops warfare will find Mossad electrifying reading.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/50-of-the-best-kindle-unlimited-books-you-can-read-in-2020

[729renegades]

10X YOUR BUSINESS & SELLING TO THE AFFLUENT

Is 100x Really Possible Or Is That A Pipe Dream?

Some years ago, I attended a Discovery Day following a clever marketing strategy that literally changed my life and started me on a journey which has not only revolutionised the way I think, but the way in which I now handle business as a whole.

The marketing was brilliant, the follow up exceptional, but I was hesitating to open my wallet and pay for the offering, hesitant because I thought surely, what was being offered could not be true.

The marketing however did its job, and, after gentle persuasion, I paid with my credit card and went along.

The presenter was Chris Cardell. Love him or hate him, he said something on that first day that I have never forgotten and which drives my business today.

He said:

“There are people out there that will be willing to pay you 10 times what you charge at the moment”.

Wow, I had started with a product 10 years earlier at £150. It did not sell particularly well; some of my customers suggested I increase the price. So, I did, to £250. After a year, one of my distributors said I was too cheap and that I should increase further. We agreed on £500 and the following year we moved it to £600 when it finally started selling.

Problem was, I was broke; I was £50k in debt, had just tried to sell my company for £1 after 3 months of negotiating a deal with the buyer, who had tried to screw me, and I subsequently pulled out. Broke and I was paying for this seminar on a credit card. There was someone telling me that I could charge 10 times what I was charging. All I had to do was find the right market and the right way to sell.

Well, truth is we’ve gone way past that. My business now has an average product sale price at the 10x mark that he first spoke about, and we have product ranges pushing the 50x mark.

I’m now looking at ways to explore the 100x figure.

Is the product the same? I hear you say.

Well no, not exactly, it’s way superior and packaged completely differently, but had I not been told about the 10x, I would never have thought about packaging differently in the first place.

The key to the growth was expertise and market position. Getting all the balls in line to position yourself as the expert and deliver consistently on your promise.

 Growth has not been an overnight success, it’s taken the best part of 8 years to get to where we are now, and a couple of misplaced employee positions unfortunately slowed things up, but finally we are there and the 50x sale has been realised, not once, but multiple times.

 So yes, it is possible. You just need to think creatively, you need to think way outside of the box. And hell, if I can do it with products then anyone can.

 Most people will self-sabotage what I’m saying here by affirming that in their marketplace there is too much competition and they will never be able to 10x anything.

 Mmm, what BS, don’t listen to the staff that will say this. I did that for too long and instead of driving forward with my beliefs with my marketing strategies, my sales team deep discounted to make the sale. Agggh, I feel your pain.

 When finally, I was released from that negative influence and did the marketing the way I wanted to in the voice that I wanted, not only did sales come flooding in, but I also increased prices by 10% on what I was told were already far too high.

 So –

What are you doing to increase your profitability?

What are you doing to 10x your products?

Can you package items in such a way as to achieve a 10x price point?

And how can you package them to achieve a 100x price point?

Think about it.

 I mean really think about it seriously,

What is your bestselling item?

Now think what would you need to do and how would you need to package the item in such a way as to attract a purchaser for 10x?

Then think about the marketing story, how and what are you going to do/be prepared to do for a prospect who is willing to, and interested in, paying the 10x figure?

What differentiates your product from all of your competitors?

Why should a prospect buy from you as opposed to your competitor for essentially what they could consider to be the same thing?

And, once you have put out that new price point, are you willing to stand by it and defend it to the hilt?

If yes, then what the hell are you waiting for? Pull your finger out and get on with it!

But know this: you’ll need to turn more people away as ‘not suitable’ than ever before, you’ll be moving out of the bulk commodities sales category and into the bespoke buyer group – less trades but all of a much higher calibre.

If you thought it’s hard selling to people at a higher price point, then you are wrong. It’s not. In fact, it’s a pleasure; they know what they want and are not going to compromise. You absolutely need to deliver on the promise.

So, would you rather

Sell 1000 of a thing for £1?

Or 1 at £1000?

Provided that you have looked after your margins, the 1 at £1000 is far easier to manage than the 1000 at £1, but you will need nerves of steel and you will have to be willing to let a lot of prospects go.

Interestingly, one of the first questions I now ask a prospect is: what’s your budget?

If they refuse to give me a budget, then I politely decline to do any further business with them.

If the budget is too low, I simply tell them that it would be a waste of their time to continue to discuss their wants, as I have nothing to sell them at that price and point out that the budget indicated would only be suitable for gadgets and toys, not professional equipment and advice. I then send them a rather frank email suggesting that they don’t waste their money on gadgets and gimmicks, unless of course they are only looking for gadgets and toys.

Blunt, I know, but it’s amazing how many people react positively to this kind of treatment; basically, on the whole, they don’t know what they don’t know until you point it out to them.

So, what’s your excuse going to be when we meet up and I ask the question what have you done to 10x your business?

PS

Just in case you thought I was full of shite, check it out; the industry standard for one of the kind of products that I sell is between £300-500. But my customers are delighted to pay on average £3-5K for one of my products.

When grouped in another way and sold as a different package of products, a small percentage would be willing to buy for as much as 60x the industry average £30k and getting a positive life changing business opportunity.

Interestingly, we are now getting enquiries and requests from prospects wanting to pay up to £50k for a complete service; that would hit the 100x mark.

Proving not only my story, but what I was told all that time ago.

The decision now for me, is do I want this extra work load whilst I can achieve a 100x mark? The profitability would not be what it is on the 10x mark; the highest profitability for my industry is in the lower numbers.

And you need to remember that old phrase, “Profit is sanity, turnover is vanity”.

So please, think seriously, what could you do to get a £100 x price tag on a product or group of products?

And then put it into action.

You may even surprise yourself!

I hope you do.

The big key to achieving a 10x or 100x price point is to remove yourself and your offerings from that of a commodity. As soon as your prospect thinks they can get what you’re offering down the road, you’ve lost them. Believe me, I know all too well, there’s no such thing as a loyal customer.

Once they’ve sucked me dry of advice, they think they know better and are off to the competitor to buy cheap. Hell, it hurts when you have helped change their lives, but I guess that’s why you need to charge what you  have helped change their lives, but I guess that’s why you need to charge what you need to change; if you give it away for free in the hope of loyalty, you’ll feel raped.

So, what’s the secret sauce in what you are offering?

If you don’t know what the special differentiator is, then you’ll never achieve the 10x figure, let alone a 100x mark.

PPS

By thinking creatively, I’ve now also found a way to draw a percentage of those customers not willing to pay the 10x mark price and yet still achieve profitability at the required percentage to make it a viable business in its own right. Thinking differently is the key.

If you’re thinking of your products as a commodity, it’ll never happen, you need to change your mind set from commodity to experience.

from Blog | 729renegades https://ift.tt/2W9H8QC

[awfully-sadistic]

Of Heroics and Misdeeds

Today’s set of prompts are:

“I’m going to lose my last shred of sanity.”

“You can’t lose what you don’t have.”

Chapter Four

Dot was too preoccupied to put much attention on the pumping music resonating in her car as she drove the long stretch of highway that took her out of New York. Her mind was on a couple of other things at the moment:

1) She had specifically asked for a truck when she put in her order for a rent-a-car to head out on the road. Living in New York, it wasn’t just a misconception that a lot of people didn’t own cars to commute within the city; buses and subways had that handled and with the rise of Ober and PykUp, taxis were nearly a thing in the past with their much more affordable prices. Unfortunately, Dot was one of those people who didn’t own a vehicle and always told herself that she was going to get herself a big ass truck as soon as she moved. And besides, she didn’t really need to travel outside of the city that often... or at all, so the need for personal transportation wasn’t something she struggled with on a daily basis. She did all her work from home and there was a store walking distance from her penthouse if she needed anything she couldn’t get online. She really was a hermit. However, it was really fucking something that the sequel to her most popular romance novel she has been trying to write required her to travel outside of town for research purposes. She couldn’t argue. It was the life of an author and they often did things like visiting exotic places to get a feel of an area they would be writing about in their stories. She’s done it before. She wanted things to be authentic, professional, and properly researched. It would stake a lot on her reputation as a writer and her emphasis on detail saw her quickly rise to the top of the best-sellers list. Suffice to say, she wouldn’t be lazy about this. It’s one of the things she took incredibly serious. But! Today would have been a lot painless if she didn’t have to make her way a few states over in a goddamn car! At least it wasn’t a van, she supposed.

The second thought was perhaps a lot more personal and would send butterflies fluttering about in her stomach when she touched down on it.

2) Peter B. Parker.

That’s about it for that list but there are plenty of complicated and questioning little thoughts that came along with that name. The first being: Is he Spider-Man?

She didn’t quite believe in coincidences so one of the biggest things that convinced her was the night after Peter and Wade left her penthouse, Spider-Man visited her the next day after having that conversation with Peter about Spider-Man. She hasn’t seen him the entire week, what were the chances he would have shown up the next day after a visit from Peter? Not a coincidence. And like Peter Parker suggested, she heard him out. She would have done it anyway but he didn’t need to know that.

She remembered him explaining his side, his thought process of leaving her alone like he did, and his regrets. He really beat himself up over what had happened that Dot felt bad and spent the entire night trying to reassure him that she wasn’t mad at him. She was truthful and told him that she wanted to be, but honestly, what was there to be mad about? Her feelings got hurt but that wasn’t a reason to cut off ties with him; hurt did not equal anger. 

It was enough that he explained himself and promised never to do anything like that again. That taking her feelings into consideration is the only thing she could ever ask from Spider-Man.

“Not even to save you if you needed it?” he asked, jokingly. The joking was a good sign because he had been too nervous to crack even the tiniest pun and chance ruining what he had with Dot. So, he was serious until he was certain that Dot wouldn’t throw him out and never have anything to do with him again. Comfortable would be another good way of seeing it.

“I think you’d save me anyway.”

Spider-Man was quiet for a heartbeat or two and Dot could see by the raised bottom of his mask that his exposed smile was soft. It was genuine. She couldn’t read his mind and could only wonder what she had said that made him smile like that.

“You’re absolutely right. And not because it was expected of me.”

“Because it is about doing what’s right, right?” Dot grinned, tilting her head.

“No, it’s because I lo--” Spider-Man’s hands came up and he cut himself off in a panic, “YEAH! WHAT? I MEAN, YEAH! BUT ALSO BECAUSE YOU’RE MY VERY GOOD FRIEND!”

Dot blinked. Then blinked again. Her eyes were wide and Spider-Man was still rambling off about doing the right thing and friendship and other things while he very nervously started to make his way over the balcony; he was still spouting nonsense that went in one ear and out the other because she had been too focused on his words before that.

Lo--?

He what? Lo? Love? And she couldn’t get the chance to ask because he had ran off into the night.

“Luh?” Dot asked out loud in her car, smacking her hands off the steering wheel. “Damn it! What is it?! Do you love me!?”

She was going to have to wait for her reply when she got back to the city. That was what had bothered her the most. Next time... next time she wasn’t going to let Spider-Man off that easily. She was going to corner him and pounce on him like the frightened little rabbit he exhibited on her balcony that night. Then she was going to make him admit it. 

Make him admit everything.

“You’re slow today, Spider-Man!”

Despite what the teasing outcry stated and the maniacal laughter that came afterwards, Peter Parker would argue that he was definitely not slow today.

WHAM!

Peter Parker definitely got hit with a car just now. So, maybe there was some truth to that after all. A blur of red and the offending automobile flew into the nearest building that could break his fall and the body disappeared into a swirling cloud of dust and metal at impact. The force was enough to knock loose some concrete that crumbled and sprinkled over him like rain droplets that weighed ten pounds each. They hit the ground with heavy thuds and for a split second, there was only the quiet stillness of the pebbles rolling off the newly formed mound of debris falling onto the ground. Then, a slow-cracking shift as Spider-Man started to move underneath the heavy weight.

“I’m just surprised that someone like you could move around in a big, clunky thing like that,” Spider-Man quipped as he slowly got out from under the rubble and oh yeah, the car from earlier. “How was it being in Avatar, anyway?” He asked, a gloved hand coming up to gesture at his adversary. Spider-Man wasn’t kidding. The villain he was fighting today showed up in a true-to-god Mecha suit that looked like the one from the ending of Avatar and while his nerd side would be geeking out about his own reference, the responsible part of him knew that he had to stop this madman before anyone got seriously hurt.

Like him, for instance. 

Normally two-bit villains like this guy would be done in a snap but Peter Parker had trouble concentrating today. Dot was on his mind a lot and why wouldn’t she be? She was funny. Smart. Attractive. Amazing. And Peter couldn’t just get her out of his mind. Even during a crucial moment of fighting bad guys on the streets of his city, New York.

His Spider-Sense knocked him out of the short reprieve he had slipped into, thinking about Dot; that tingling sensation was ever familiar as he finally noted the piece of huge cinder block hurling towards him at the speed faster than a human can throw. 

Luckily, he dodged this one just in time. He watched as it flew over his head and glanced over his shoulder; the heavy object bounced a few times along the street and sidewalks before it stopped. He barely had the time to turn his head back around to make a comment about aim before he was met with a mega powered punch from a mechanical arm. Hydraulics hissed in its resting extended position and Spider-Man flew for the fourth time that day. He was running out of buildings to crash into! 

“Lucky for you, your heartmate, Deadpool is to the rescue!”

Spider-Man was caught short of rolling into another building, colliding with a hard force instead but the punch had been packed with a lot of power and even Deadpool wasn’t too much of a stopping force -- the both of them went flying back, skidding along the street and landed as a mangled heap of red limbs on the ground.

Peter moaned from under his mask barely making the effort to lift his head. It actually felt good to rest on Wade for a minute while he caught his second wind. “...I thought you were rescuing me.”

“If I did that first, we wouldn’t be in this amazingly compromising position.”

Peter groaned, taking care to roll off Wade to get back up on his feet. He offered Wade a hand, helping the red-suited hero to his as well. “Are you here to help or to flirt with me?”

“A little bit of both, I can multi-task.” Wade grinned as soon as he was back up, the gesture was seen easily from under his mask.

“No, you really can’t.” Peter pointed out but before Wade could retort, he had changed the subject by pointing at where their focus should be. “Let’s peel this Mecha-Man out of his tin can.”

“Ah, Webs. I’ve missed this.” Wade shouted after Peter as he went thwipping back into the fight.

“Nothing has changed since the last time we saw each other, Wade.” Peter shouted over his shoulder. 

As soon as Spider-Man returned to the scene, he shot a long string of webbing at the Mecha’s feet, twining the legs together as he swung past the huge mechanical figure in an arc. He was successful on tripping the mechanical suit when it took a step forward, that it landed on its “face” with a heavy thud. Dust swirled upwards and all around, the arms of the mechanical suit flailing wildly as it tried to right itself. 

“You look like a turtle,” Spider-Man snickered from his perch, watching the scene unfold. “Except I’d be more than happy to help one of those.”

“Curse you, Spider-Man!” the man shouted from inside.

“Really? You couldn’t go with something a little more recent? You’re in a Mecha suit for crying out loud. You can’t get more futuristic than that!”

Movement out of the corner of Peter’s eye saw that Wade had launched himself towards the Mecha, landing on its back.

“There’s only one way to get to the Tootsie roll center!” Deadpool shouted, raising both katanas that had been strapped to his back. “One, a-two, and a-THREE!” 

At three, Wade struck his katanas down into the Mecha’s “protected” battery station, short circuiting the entire frame. It wasn’t anything well placed katanas couldn’t hit. It frazzled and crackled, and sparks of lightning arced up and outwards. Wade made a startled noise from under his mask and fell over, landing on his side on the ground. The man from inside the suit was yelling obscenities and scrambling out from under the now broken Mecha suit, that he didn’t realize Spider-Man had been waiting for him.

“See, not so cool without the suit.” Spider-Man quipped. His arm flew out which sent webbing flying outwards and incapacitating the man to the spot.

“Good job, Webs.” Wade shouted somewhat faintly from the ground. Peter looked over and saw that he was giving him two thumbs up. He shook his head with a good-natured smile and slung webbing around Wade’s wrist yanking the other man up to his feet.

It took no time at all for the police to apprehend this mad man and Spider-Man was once more swinging high above the heads of New York City. However, Deadpool was an eager companion now, clinging to his back.

“We really got to get me some of those slinger-things.”

“We really don’t.”

“Then how am I going to keep up with you?” Wade asked. Peter didn’t reply but attached himself to the side of the nearest building and started to climb up. Wade was still wrapped around his neck and waist with no intention of letting go. Carrying Wade around the city like this was basically a normal occurrence by now if they were hanging out together.

Which was often.

Now, seated high above the city, both Peter and Wade sat side by side. Their feet hung over the edge and looking out below, they could see that traffic seemed to be at a stand still (as it ever was) and the night was coming to life. Peter loved his city even with all the crime stopping he did on a daily basis. But he seemed to find it pretty empty, lacking something, with the knowledge that someone wouldn’t be occupying it for the next few nights.

“Are you thinking about Dot?” Wade asked. He had a hot dog in his hand after he had insisted they stopped for something to eat. It was one of Wade’s favorite past times, at least. Hanging out with Spidey in high up places, eating and talking about anything and everything. He didn’t have that with anyone else. At least, not until...

“Dot?” Peter asked in a nervous tone. He almost fumbled his hot dog out of his normally sticky hands. But his reaction was enough to pause Wade from shoving his entire hot dog into his mouth and pull his mask up his face to give Peter a look. 

“Yeah, Dot. Who else?” he teased with a knowing grin.

Most would agree that Wade Wilson wasn’t much of a looker but he was an expressive motherfucker. Yet, Peter knew Wade Wilson didn’t take his mask off for just anyone. It was a huge sign of trust considering Wade’s low self-esteem overall; there was a part of him that thought of that every time Wade showed Peter his face. Peter reached over, lifting Wade’s hot dog to prompt him to start eating again. Anything to make Wade stop from giving him that silly expression.

“It’s pretty much obvious you have a huuuuuuuuge crush on her.” Wade munched through his mouthful of hot dog.

“I don’t think I can call it a crush anymore,” Peter laughed, somewhat sardonically. His tone matched the mocking nature of his laugh yet the only person he was making fun of was himself. “I don’t know what to do. She’s on my mind every day. This isn’t like an M.J. thing; a crush in high school that I grew out of as soon as my world broadened. And I’ve been Spider-Man for a very long time. My world got pretty big early on.”

“It’s easy, you gotta tell her how ya feel.”

Peter’s head turned and gave Wade a look through his mask that told him he was saying things that were crazier than usual.

“I don’t see you telling her how you feel.”

Wade started to choke on the hot dog, pounding his fist into his chest. “Damn, Webs! You really don’t pull any punches.” he coughed as little bits of hot dog came flying out.

“Wade.”

“What?” he snapped back, slowly pulling his mask over his face again. He could recognize a serious toned conversation when it smacked him in the face like  well-placed punch to the gut. “I’m not going to do something stupid like that.”

Peter’s gaze searched Wade’s masked features. It was obvious Wade closed himself up again and Peter had the fleeting thought to ask out loud, “You... never showed her how you really look under there...” 

There was no delicate way to put this but Wade had never really been a delicate man. And even Spider-Man can say some pretty stupid and blunt things. Peter thought Wade perhaps assumed it would be easy for him to tell Dot how he felt because he didn’t have to face her with Wade’s appearance. He wasn’t an idiot, he just said dumb things sometimes.

Wade pretended he hadn’t heard Peter, but it was obvious he had. He was taking angry bites out of his hot dog.

“....” Peter remained silent and turned to his own hot dog, sitting uneaten in his hand. He knew he should say something to Wade, reassure him on some level, but he didn’t know what to say. But then he remembered something Dot said from their “make up” talk that stuck out to him. 

You don’t have to think up of some magical way to fix things with a single word or phrase when there’s been a misunderstanding. That’s impossible. I think as long as you apologize, that is the first step you can take at mending something that has been frayed. Talking things through can always help, not make things worse.

Talking things out, huh?

“Sorry, Wade. That was pretty out of line.” he started and although he felt a little out of his element, he was glad he was able to say something. “It’s not... my place.”

Wade’s hand stopped from picking up the third hot dog besides him. Did it surprise him that Peter apologized? The apology part, not really. Peter was a good guy. But it surprised him that they were still talking; he’d usually drop a subject if it got uncomfortable. Peter didn’t, hadn’t let the conversation end there, and took his feelings in consideration. Feelings Wade was content to push aside and stifle, perhaps suffocate on them later when he needed a reason to hate himself and then act like everything was okay the next minute.

“Well... you weren’t wrong,” Wade muttered, watching his index finger run up and down the length of his hot dog. It seemed like an idle gesture and an afterthought that he was also smearing the ketchup, mustard, and relish all over the place. But his thoughts were preoccupied with Peter now. “I haven’t and I don’t think I will. She’s... too good for me.”

“That’s not...” Peter paused. True? Sure, Wade was difficult. Hard to handle. But how could he reassure Wade of anything when he felt Dot was even too good for him?

Wade scoffed.

“No, it’s not that,” Peter brought up, knowing he left his sentence hanging after an awkward reassurance. “I feel the same way.”

Wade’s head snapped up, eyes questioning and expressing disbelief. “What the fuck are you talking about, Webs?!”

“I think Dot’s too good for me, too.” he put bluntly. “I mean, between the two of us, she’d... be in a hard position.” The innuendo was on Wade’s face and Peter shut it down before he said anything. “Not in that way. Geez. You have Ellie, you know how tough it is for a loved one.”

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah... that. You don’t seem too bothered.”

“I’m just thinking about introducing Ellie to her new mommy.”

Peter’s eyes narrowed. “Weren’t you just telling me how you felt she was too good for you?”

“And weren’t you about to reassure me that that wasn’t true?”

“Eat your hot dog, Wade.” Peter shook his head with a grin while Wade chuckled. The two slipped into comfortable silence, each thinking about their own hang-ups with Dot. The two sharing insecurities in a way that could only compliment each other. And neither could finish their hot dogs.

“Out of anyone on this sometimes miserable rock,” Wade quietly spoke up after a while, “you shouldn’t be worried about Dot being too good for you. I don’t think that’s possible.” He was poking his fingers together, watching his hands do the gesture. He refused to lift his head while he continued speaking as if what he was trying to say was a hard thing to admit. “You two are a pretty damn good match; you’re good looking and she’s good looking. You guys are going to make some ridiculously good looking children.”

“Wade...”

“No, I mean it.”

It wasn’t about “meaning it” -- Peter knew that Wade’s compliments towards him were always genuine. He never really understood why Wade could look up to someone like him given the type of person Wade was -- Peter wasn’t just flattered. That seemed too weak of a word, too impersonal, for as long as he’s known Wade. Peter reached over and lifted the corner of Wade’s mask. Wade reacted negatively almost immediately, slapping Peter’s hand away on reflex. But his shoulders relaxed as did his demeanor as Peter reached for his mask again, lifting it, and pulling it away from his face.

Wade’s mouth was covered in ketchup and mustard smeared on his face thanks to his hastily retreat in his mask. Peter grabbed a napkin from his other side and proceeded to clean Wade’s face.

“You and Dot would make a good couple, too.” Peter grinned somewhat through his teeth. “As much as it pains me to admit it because... I’m really jealous thinking about the two of you together. She’ll be good for you.” 

Wade remained silent, almost statuesque, because he didn’t want to ruin the moment by opening his big, loud mouth to say something wholly inappropriate -- which he was really tempted to do with Peter so close to his mouth. But the talk of being together with Dot was enough for him to push that inappropriateness at the far recesses of his crazed mind to think of a future with the woman they both felt strongly about.

“She’ll be really good,” Peter continued, his features taking on a kind expression now. “because she understands how we feel. She’s incredibly sympathetic to understand what we’re dealing with on a daily basis and you don’t get that from a lot of people. All the under appreciation and blame that gets put on us for what?”

“Saving people?” Wade asked, looking up at Peter like a little boy would. He got too carried away by the sensation of Peter taking care of him, he caught himself leaning in as Peter spoke. Just as Peter had gotten carried away with the thought of his past conversations of venting and unloading on Dot’s sympathetic ear.

Peter seemed to blink back into the present, his head moving down to see that Wade was in his personal space, close to leaning against his chest like some kind of harlequin romance cover.

He pulled Wade’s mask back over his face and gave his cheek a pat; it was his way of regaining some of his space back without being too dismissive and snapping whatever daydream Wade was running in his head through the poker like sticking a finger through a blown pink wad of bubblegum. “Yeah. Saving people.”

“You never seemed to have a problem with that before,” Wade pointed out, straightening back into his seat. “you’re all about the little guy.”

“You’re right. I’m not bothered -- wasn’t bothered by things like that. And caring about the little guy, that hasn’t changed. But what has changed was to recognize that the problem of shifting the blame was still there. To realize that sometimes, everything sucks and it’s okay to be hurt over how I seemingly get blamed for everything bad that happens in my city. But it’s not Spider-Man’s -- no, it’s not my fault.”

Wade’s mouth was wide open under his mask and his finger came up to point at him like an afterthought. “Dot totally said that. She’s making you do some inner reflecting, huh?”

“Which is why I said she’d be good for you, too.” Peter laughed quietly, looking down at his own hands now locked together on his lap. He absently twiddled his thumbs as he continued. “Before I met Dot, I never thought about what other people called me or how they perceived me, didn’t put stock into it. I never thought about how it might have bothered me if I let it but sometimes people blame you for some pretty horrific things they can’t take responsibility for and it can weigh on your conscience sometimes without you realizing it. Even logically knowing better, even knowing you had nothing to do with how events turned out, you can’t help but feel responsible when things go bad. I felt... tired of carrying other people’s burdens, it was getting to me. But... Dot was the first person to tell me that it was okay, that I wasn’t meant to, and while that sounds like a pretty obvious thing, I can’t tell you how much of a relief that was to hear it from someone else, you know?”

Wade nodded quietly as Peter turned to face him. 

“She taught me that it was alright to give myself a break even if it was hard to do at first. I still struggle with it. I still find ways to blame myself for things I had no control over. But it helps, at the end of the day, to climb up to Dot’s balcony and just talk to her about it. She really puts things into perspective for you.”

“She’s warm.” Wade supplied and Peter caught himself chuckling and nodding in agreement.

“Exactly. Like a mom or something.”

Wade exhaled through his mask, “The things I’d do to Mother.” He paused as he caught Peter’s expression, “What? We’ve both established we have a thing for her. I’m not allowed to talk about it?”

“N-No, that’s not it but--” Peter’s lips pursed together. There was an ugly emotion that reared its ugly head whenever he heard another man talk about Dot the way he could only think about. And there was the conflict that both he and Wade were in the same position -- in love with the same woman. This was a messy situation but things with Deadpool were rarely ever clean. But he didn’t harbor any ill will towards Wade. There was obvious affection Peter held for the mouthy Merc but affection he was still too hesitant on exploring. Then Dot entered his life and his emotions were too stormy to weather. The entire thing was complicated.

Wade placed an arm around Peter, leaning his head against his. “Don’t worry, you’re still my boo. I’m sure the three of us will live happily ever after.”

“The three of us?” Or perhaps he was the one complicating it. It seems Wade had his own little fantasy playing out before him.

“Of course, how else did you think this was going to work out?” he asked, booping Peter on the nose. “I’m not letting you have her by yourself and I’m definitely not breaking up with you, either.”

Peter floundered because he had no ding-dang idea what the alternative was and he chose to ignore Wade’s delusion that they were ever an item. There was never a label, but to say nothing was there wasn’t entirely truthful either. Between Wade’s innuendos, constant touching and flirting, and all the times they were tied up against each other, there had been a couple of curious heart to hearts, curious what-ifs, and compromising situations he couldn’t chalk up to meaning nothing. Peter was open to Wade, the attraction was there...

...but he hadn’t considered a relationship with Dot and Wade at the same time. “I mean... it’s not unheard of...” he murmured as his hand came up to pinch his chin. His eyes were squinted in thought.

“That’s the spirit!” Wade boasted happily. 

Honestly, he was surprised Peter was even open to the idea as he always seemed resistant about crossing the line in their strange, little relationship. Yeah, that line. His eyes were crescent shaped in happiness and a smile was bold and broad on his face as he stared on as Peter mulled this over.

“This just seems... like a bad idea...”

“No, it doesn’t. Don’t tell yourself that. We haven’t even tried.”

“No, we haven’t but that’s probably a good thing. Dot shouldn’t be exposed to this...”

Wade held up their linked hands, “We’re practically married, Pete. And I spent an entire week with Dot, alone. She’s already been exposed to a lot.”

Peter’s expressionless mask turned to face Wade who was still smiling, still holding his hand. There had been a long conversation about what that entire week had consisted of and Wade was not shy on leaving out any of the details; he especially laid it on thick after Peter learned about the kiss. He would have ignored him for days after that if Wade hadn’t given him a pretty heated kiss, too. Wade would have reasoned he was passing the kiss from Dot onto Peter but that was only a half-truth. Wade wanted to kiss Peter, too. And Peter was tormented with the thought that he could have sworn he tasted Dot on Wade’s mouth. It was partly what had spurred him on to returning the kiss; the other part, Peter didn’t want to touch down on quite yet.

He turned his gaze away and figured sorting his feelings out for Wade was for another time.

“Okay, let’s say... hypothetically, I’m considering this...”

There was a saying among the superheroes that if you gave Wade Wilson an inch, he would take a mile. 

“It’s just a consideration, Wade! Nothing is set in stone!”

“I’m going to tell Dot the good news right away!”

“You definitely can’t do that, she’s going to think we’re crazy!” Peter tried to reason, tried to actually put his heart into stopping Wade. But honestly, the prospect of entering into a relationship with Dot was stopping him from seeing reason -- even if he had to claim Wade along with that. Though, to be honest, claiming Wade wasn’t bad because he thought it would feel the same as things were, anyway. “Besides, she’s not even in town--”

“Yeah, that’s why we’re going after her.”

“What?”

“It’s romantic! And it’ll increase the chances of her saying yes to being our hot lady in the middle of our love sandwich.”

“Love... sandwich...?” Peter repeated, watching as Wade stood to his feet. He rarely got swept away with any of Wade’s plans, taking point whenever they were paired together that it felt he was often babysitting Wade. But this time... this time it would be nice to let his fantasy become a reality. Sure, there was a part of him that was scared about what Dot would say about everything but confronting her with his feelings was something he was determined to do. Peter Parker wasn’t a coward and he wasn’t about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. Even if it came with strange conditions. 

Doable, but strange.

Dot cursed her luck coasting to the stop in the middle of the road. She hadn’t understood what was going on with her car; everything told her it was all in working condition but it just stopped working all of a sudden. There wasn’t any warning lights or strange sounds to signal to her that she was going to have to make an emergency stop. But her car was stalled in the middle of the two lane road and she couldn’t even put on her hazards. The car was completely dead.

She thought to pop the hood of her car before stepping out of the car. Circling around, she ducked her head and looked at everything which made up the car. Granted, she wasn’t freaking car savvy whatsoever, but she had her phone and she had looked up what could suddenly make a car stop in its tracks.

A couple of suggestions she could tick off right away. It wasn’t gas. She had made certain she filled up before she left and if there was any indication she was running low, she would have immediately made a pit stop. On road trips, she didn’t want to push her luck with running out of gas and be stuck in the same position she was in now.

It wasn’t the battery, which she was now looking at. Everything about the rent-a-car was extremely new. She had a report even attached with her keys about when everything was last serviced.

So, spark plugs wouldn’t be it, either.

It was a complete mystery! 

The next logical thing to do was to find out where the nearest town was and to call its towing service.

“It sucks to be an adult sometimes,” Dot muttered. Her fingernail was tapping along the screen, navigating through maps trying to find her location. Her hip was leaning against the side of the car and every so often, she looked up to see if there was a car heading her way. She didn’t like to hitchhike, as it was dangerous as shit, but so was standing out in the middle of the road.

She remedied that by moving off the road as much as it unnerved her by having her back turned towards the lush green landscape surrounding the highway on both sides. While there was a sparse assortment of trees and greenery just heading out of New York, some parts of the highway was concealed by thicker parts the further you went along. For instance, Orwell, NY seemed to have nothing but forests surrounding it. But then again, it was a small town.

And as luck would have it, there was another small town surrounding the area. Dot was soon placing an order to their tow truck service and was told that they would be there in fifteen minutes to pick her up. That was good news! She didn’t have to be out there all night and it was incredibly dangerous staying out on the road like this. To pass the time, she fiddled with her phone for a bit to take her mind off things. 

Dot was leaning against a tree when she launched her contacts list. She scrolled through with no thought on actually contacting anyone when her finger hovered over Daddypool which made her laugh. She had no intention on changing Wade’s hand in her contacts list. That dork. 

Scrolling further, she finally landed on Peter B. Parker. Talking about a dork, who puts in their entire name? She smiled to herself, thinking back to that day when she had handed her cell over and watched him program in his phone number. It was probably a good idea to call someone, to alert anyone about the predicament she was in and that person was sure to be Peter. Sure, she could try and fool herself that she needed to have someone keep her company while she got everything settled, but she knew she missed hearing from him.

The sound of gravel crunching on the road picked up her head and for a moment, she forgot about calling Peter. She saw headlights coming her way from the opposite direction and pocketed her phone immediately. She watched as it slowly pulled to a stop across the street; SHERIFF was printed in huge, bold letters on the side of the body. She blinked in surprise, looking up and down the road. She was a little weary of strangers, law enforcement being no exception. She just wasn’t too fond of people.

A woman stepped out of the vehicle and Dot could feel her shoulders relax as the door slammed behind her. The presence of another woman wasn’t as intimidating or unsure as a male’s when you were a lone female on the side of the road. Especially if the other woman was of color.

“Hello... sheriff,” Dot greeted though she still sounded cautious.

“Hey there.” the sheriff greeted casually in return matched with an easy-going smile. She looked both ways before crossing the highway and stopped to stand in front of Dot’s car. There was a moment of silence Dot took as the Sheriff taking in the scene. From the way her gaze scanned the area, she was making sure that nothing was out of the ordinary; for Dot’s safety and for her own.

“Having car trouble?” She paused and then laughed, “Sounds pretty stupid to ask that, of course you’re having trouble.”

Dot laughed in return, “Yeah, it just suddenly stopped on me.”

“Were you able to call anyone to help you?” the sheriff asked, stepping closer. Dot’s gaze snapped to the brass nameplate pinned to the unattractive uniform shirt that looked a little too formal, too clunky in places that should have been hugging a woman’s figure. At least the brown pants were pretty form fitting. 

Sheriff  Katherine

“Yeah, there’s a tow truck in the nearest city...” Dot supplied, snapping her fingers because she suddenly blanked on the name. That should have been strange, perhaps, considering she ran the name over many times in her head looking at the map of the surrounding area on her phone. But she was so focused on the presence of another person and add the anxiety of being stranded on the side of the road, it might have just been a culmination of the stressful situation adding up and making her forgetful. “The tow company, they said they’d help me. They should be coming soon, in about fifteen minutes?” It wasn’t a question Dot expected anyone to answer; it was the details somewhat becoming fuzzy.

“Ah yeah, I’m from that town.” Sheriff Katherine smiled before looking down at her own phone. “Fifteen minutes? How about I give you a lift into town so you’re not standing out here in the middle of the street? You’re heading out there anyway, right?”

Dot nodded but she didn’t quite say yes to the offer no matter how attractive the woman standing in front of her was. Something felt off but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Or perhaps it was an overactive imagination; authors do tend to have those. Maybe she was being silly... but maybe she should listen to her gut feeling.

Sensing Dot’s hesitation, Sheriff Katherine leaned over to peer into the open hood of the car. She scanned the insides for a second before straightening up, “Otis should be able to tell you if anything is wrong. And set you up on your way, too, seeing as he runs the mechanic shop in town. He’s pretty good with cars despite how huge his hands are, you’d think he’d be clumsy as heck but he’s grabby and doesn’t let anything go easily.”

“Otis?” Dot asked, suddenly imagining a very sweaty looking mechanic flirting with the line of sexual harassment. With huge, grabby hands apparently. She smiled nervously. Suddenly that ride with this much prettier and safer alternative was looking pretty good. “How long do you think it’ll take? I have somewhere else I need to be by tomorrow.”

Sheriff Katherine shrugged her shoulders and frowned, “I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I know almost nothing about the inner workings of a car but I can tell you about the law.”

Dot laughed and was somewhat put at ease despite the warning bells going off in her head. There was something not quite right about Katherine but no matter how she looked at it, she wasn’t doing anything wrong. But something was bothering her about the way Katherine was saying things that Dot almost got a manipulating feel from her. But that was ridiculous. She was probably being paranoid.

“I’ll take you up on that car ride,” Dot said, looking down at her wrist watch. “I don’t want to be out here any later than I have to.” Something told her that she shouldn’t expose her phone and that feeling was justified when Katherine asked if she should get her things before they left.

“No, I’ll just leave everything in my car. I mean, I’m going to be seeing it in a little while, anyway.”

“And your phone?”

“That’s in the car, too.”

“Perfect,” Katherine smiled with all of her teeth. The gesture would have been innocent enough if it didn’t give Dot the chills. But... what was she going to do? She acted normal enough and returned the smile as Katherine gestured at Dot to follow her. Dot nodded and pushed off the tree. She stopped in front of the car and made sure she closed the hood before moving towards the Sheriff’s car. She was unsure where she should sit...

“You’d probably feel better if you were seated in front,” Katherine laughed again, gesturing for her to sit at the passenger seat. “you’re not in any trouble or anything. Perfectly safe.”

Katherine ducked her head to settle inside the car and missed the look of skepticism on Dot’s face. She knew in every bit of her body that this was a bad idea. But when she weighed her choices, she had no idea what to do; she couldn’t go running off into the woods. The chances of Katherine knowing this place better than her stacked the odds against Dot. There was also no where to go. Dot would be running blind and she wasn’t keen on making herself look like a damn fool. Her only option was to comply and as soon as she understood what she got herself into, she would place an emergency phone call to someone she knew would help her out in a pinch: Peter and Wade. Then, she might call 911.

Surprisingly, the trip to town was around the corner. Albeit the corner was after a long stretch of highway Dot couldn’t have imagined walking the distance of but she was closer to the town of Ludor than she had known. Now that she thought about it, Ludor was a strange name for a town and she wouldn’t blame anyone for not being able to remember it. The population served fifty people, pretty damn small for even the small town standards nowadays! But it seemed lively and it put her at ease, watching children run down sidewalks and folks walking and talking among each other as they went about their business.

Katherine pulled over in front of what looked like an inn and stopped the car.

“This is the town’s B&B. We get a lot of people passing by this time of year coming back just in time as the weather starts to cool down. So this is the place folks tend to stay when they decide they wanna stay over with us instead of going to some sort of cheap, impersonal motel.”

Dot’s gaze dragged up the windshield to take in the building before her. The whole place looked like it came straight out of a catalog of 1890′s Victorian style housing. It probably was a big hit with tourists. Yet there was nothing sinister about it that put Dot off.

“I’ll talk about putting you up for a room just in case you get some bad news. But you can borrow a room for as long as it takes ‘til your car gets fixed.”

“That’s... really generous of you guys.” Dot said and she opened her car door as soon as Katherine prompted. As they walked up the stairs to the B&B, Dot took in more of the architecture. The front porch sat shaded under the classic Victorian triangles and slopes and supplied a couple of rocking chairs with inviting pillows. Katherine opened the screen door and then the front door and Dot was greeted with a cozy entrance lobby with a staircase off to the side, no doubt leading up to the rooms. In the lobby, there was a small seating area and a receptionist area with a big sign-in book sitting at the counter. Seated behind the desk was a sweet looking old woman with glasses daintily perched on her nose.

“Hello, Agnes.”

The old gray-haired woman looked up, her wrinkles making her look more like a bulldog than a human. Dot thought it was kind of charming in a cartoon-ish kind of way and when she spoke, her voice sounded like an old granny as she crooned, “Hello, Katherine, dear. Is this a guest?”

“Yes, this is...” Katherine paused in order for Dot to supply her name.

“Dot.”

“And she just needs something set up for today. Maybe tomorrow, but we’re not hoping for that.” she winked at Dot and Dot smiled back in return. They both watched as Agnes leaned down and slowly pulled up a huge book. She looked like she was struggling with it before she was finally able to drop it down in front of her. Then it took another agonizing minute for Agnes to lift the plastic binder cover and slowly, one page at a time, flip the pages until she landed on the page she wanted.

“We have no reservations for today or tomorrow so she is in luck,” Agnes looked up shaking and giving Dot a kind, grandmotherly smile. “in picking any room she wanted.”

Katherine playfully smacked the desk and didn’t seem to notice she made Agnes jump or noticed the way her old eyes widened in surprise. “What luck, indeed! They have four rooms to choose from but the Rose Room is their biggest one. You should snatch that up before plans change.”

Dot laughed, taking her gaze from Agnes onto Katherine who seemed more excited for her that she landed this room. “Alright, that sounds like a good idea.” she said. Her favorite flowers were roses and so it was already half-decided for her.

“You can go on up anytime you like dear,” Agnes said, slowly picking up the binder again with her shaking hands and the women both watched as she slowly lowered herself to place it back in its place under the desk. “if you get hungry, we’re serve breakfast at 8AM prompt tomorrow so it’s highly suggested you take an early night if you’re planning on staying.”

Dot politely nodded but she’d have none of that being a night owl; plus, she didn’t even plan on staying. But the prospect of food sounded good. “Is there... anywhere else to eat in the meantime?”

Katherine laughed, gesturing out towards the wide open bay window to an area across the street. Dot squinted and she could see a building on the other side. “You can cross over to the town’s bar for something to eat and if you’re looking to uh, wet your whistle.”

“Cool, thanks very much.” Dot smiled first to Katherine and then to Agnes. “Um, before I retire upstairs...” Dot trailed off slightly as Agnes very slowly pushed forward the Rose Room key towards her. Dot’s hand closed over the object and she gave her head a subtle shake before refreshing her smile, “Where is the auto shop? Tow place?”

“Ah yeah, almost forgot. How about I just let Agnes here ring you up when your car has arrived and from there, she’ll tell you where to go?”

Frankly, Dot didn’t see anything wrong with that. But that strange feeling came back to her. She didn’t want to make a big deal pressing for information about how to get back to her car so she nodded and figured while she was out and about in town, she’d ask around and find out from someone who could give her a straight answer.

“Sure, sounds good.” Dot said, giving Katherine and Agnes a nod before gesturing towards the staircase. “I’ll be on my way now. Thank you so much for the help Katherine and thank you for the room Agnes.”

“Not a problem,” Katherine said.

“Of course, dear.” Agnes parroted right after. As Dot was going up the stairs, she was quiet in her steps and intentionally took her time to see if the women would start talking without her there, perhaps resume some sort of conversation. But that was the weird part. She heard nothing. She hadn’t even heard Katherine leave. Thanks to the huge wooden railing and the way the stairs circled around, it was hard to see their faces or expression. But Dot knew they were there, just standing at the desk and probably listening to her ascend. It unnerved her to the point she hurried herself to find the Rose Room. She found it -- the only room with a rose painted on the door -- after passing the Peach Room, Green Room, Red Room, Blue Room, and Yellow Room. She didn’t even have time to think why the other rooms were colored and the room she reserved was the only flower-themed one.

Opening the door and then shutting it firmly behind her, Dot pressed her back against it and took a cautious gaze around the room. It looked normal enough; it had a huge queen-sized bed, a couple of antique dressers, chairs surrounding the bay window that looked outside towards town, and a separate bathroom. It was quiet and for a moment, it allowed Dot to feel safe. But at this point, she knew she was anything but.

It was starting to feel like a good time to call somebody. She reached into her pocket and felt a rush of relief to feel the familiar touch of her cell phone sitting like a heavy weight of reality at her side. It was what grounded her. Pulling it out, she was relieved to see that her contacts were still up and Peter’s name was the first thing she latched onto and it was the first one she called.

“I’M ALL OUT OF LOVE~” ♪

“Wade...”

“I”M SO LOST WITHOUT YOU~” ♪

“Wade!” Peter had the hardest time driving with Wade’s head and the upper half of the man’s muscular body trying to fit on his lap. So the only way to grab his attention was to jab his thumb against the eject button of the radio with enough force that it almost broke the console. Instead of breaking, however, the tape flew out and smacked Wade on the forehead.

“Hey, watch it, loverboy!” Wade sat up, grabbing the tape to see if there had been any damage done to what he had essentially slaved over for three days. “I made this mix tape with you and Dot in mind, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t kill it before Dot got the chance to hear it.”

Peter had to resist the urge to roll his eyes; he just didn’t know at what, yet. It was either Wade’s insistent use of nicknames somehow evolving on becoming a lot more than just endearing titles, Wade’s mix tape, or the fact he was singing along to it.

“She’ll have a chance to listen to it... after she hears the ridiculous idea we’re bringing to her.” Peter muttered, eyes drifting to the rear view mirror. He had long ago left behind New York and though it should have been a hard choice, it really wasn’t when he considered what he was moving towards. “And who knows, we’ll probably be listening to it on the way back holding back tears because she told us we were out of our minds. I’m this close to telling us we’re out of our minds.”

“Have a little faith, shwumpling.” Wade said, trying to fit his cassette into Peter’s radio. Peter gave Wade an incredulous look mainly because he wasn’t sure what that endearment had meant. “What? Shwumpling? It’s sugar dumpling. In baby speak. Know why?”

“No and I don’t care--”

“Because you’re my baby boy.” Wade grinned as he got the tape rolling again, and turned his head towards Peter with a triumphant smile. If Peter had to describe Wade’s appearance, it would be ridiculous. Yeah, he still had his mask on but he was in civvy clothes. Over his red costumed suit. Obviously, he was working through his own insecurities but he tried to make an effort. He took one step outside his apartment without his mask on before he scrambled back inside and changed.

Peter was different, he didn’t struggle with Wade’s self-image issues. He was just... Peter. If he was going to follow Dot miles away from home, he wanted to it in a way he could be vulnerable... to her, nothing between them. That was why he left his Spider-Man suit back at home.

Or so he thought.

“How old is this car, snookums?”

“I borrowed it from Aunt May...” Peter sheepishly said. “After what happened to the Buggy, I thought it would be a good idea to keep it out of commission for a while.”

“I thought it was broken?”

“It’s... not broken, but it’s not fixed either.” Peter lightly chuckled. “Maybe if things go well for us... with Dot, we can take her on a road trip.”

Wade’s mouth was wide open in surprise for the second time that day. It was hard for someone like Wade to contain his excitement and so he didn’t. He reached over, arms wrapping around Peter’s unsuspecting shoulders and pulled the man into a gigantic, tight hug. He was rubbing his masked cheek against Peter’s face, the brunette shouting in surprise as their car swerved in and out of the lanes of traffic.

It was a lucky thing they were the only ones on the road. 

After things settled down -- meaning Wade taking a nap in the passenger seat and his feet up on the dashboard -- Peter had some time to think. With nighttime fast approaching, Peter was unsure whether they would catch up to Dot in time. Dot had spoken about this trip through texting Peter Parker so he knew all the details about what her project consisted of and what hotel she would be staying at. It would also make sense for Peter Parker to arrive on her door and the secret about Spider-Man would definitely come out during revelations and admissions but there was a part of him that feared she would hate him for lying to her like this.

He supposed he’d cross the bridge when he got to it but there was no denying the new possibilities about just laying himself bare in front of her. He glanced over at Wade and was surprised by the swell of pride in his chest at his partner. Partner. Man, that word was going to take on a whole new meaning if things turned out okay after this.

This is wild and this was crazy. This was something Wade Wilson would do but who was to say this was something Peter Parker would do for the woman he loved, too? Maybe that was why he was so nervous, uncertain, because he wasn’t certain of what he’d do but he knew how far he would go for Dot.

It was a little while later that Peter reached over and smacked Wade on the shoulder. “Isn’t that the rent-a-car Dot showed you in her text?”

Wade slowly stirred in his sleep before his eyes opened. It took him a while to recognize where he was and what he was doing but as soon as he settled his sights on Peter, it all came flooding back to him. “Which one?” he lazily said, “she sends me a lot of texts, like... so many.”

Peter’s face could only be described as a straight line before he retorted, “That’s because you’re constantly sending her texts. The one from earlier, the model of her car.” he couldn’t understand why Wade would ask Dot for a picture of the car she was driving but considering how he was the one who suggested this trip, it wouldn’t surprise him that he had planned something like this from the start. He didn’t even want to think of the implications behind that. He heard Wade shifting in his seat as he slowed Aunt May’s car to a crawl to pull up behind the parked one.

“Yep... that’s the one.”

Peter glanced over, noting the dangerous change of note in Wade’s voice. It put him on edge because the only time Wade ever had a semblance of a serious demeanor was when Dot was involved. This couldn’t be good. Peter turned the car off cutting George Michael’s dulcet tone quietly crooning from the background and Wade got out almost immediately. Peter sat in the passenger seat, fearing the most. His Spider-Sense wasn’t going off but there was something unsettling about seeing Dot’s car parked out here in the middle of a long and lonely stretch of highway. From what he could tell, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it. If she had been in an accident, there would have been proof. Bent fender, perhaps a dent somewhere, anywhere, on the body. She couldn’t have had car trouble... the thing was a rent-a-car, while not unheard of, breaking down just wasn’t something they did especially not even five hours outside a large city like New York.

Wade circled the car, pressing his face against the window to see inside. He straightened up and shook his head, gesturing with both arms to the driver’s seat, “No one’s inside!”

That much was obvious but to be reassured of that fact was not pleasing to hear whatsoever. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of Peter’s stomach as he watched Wade walk over to his side, leaning in through the window. 

“I’m going to check the surrounding woods, Pete.”

Peter’s gaze rose to meet Wade’s. He stopped with the nicknames. Further proof that Wade was taking this serious. His worry must have been the most prominent thing on his face because Wade cupped his face and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“We’ll find her.”

Peter didn’t have it in him to argue or push Wade away. He just nodded and gestured at the center console where his phone was, “I’ll call her cell.”

Wade thumped the hood of the car two times with the palm of his hand before pushing off the car, “Good idea, smarty pants!” he grinned, walking off towards the direction of the woods. Wade might have lightened up his tone but that was no doubt for Peter’s sake -- one of them had to be normal. 

Peter leaned over and reached for his phone, his hands brushing the cool metal before fumbling it in his troubled thoughts. He sighed out heavily through his nose, further leaning down to reach for the thing down on the ground. “Gosh dang it!” he quietly muttered, fingers stretching and curling. He just had to pack away his suit and web slingers!

“This the one?”

Peter’s head snapped up so fast, he almost hit it on the steering wheel.

“Uh-huh.”

“What about the other one?”

Peter froze, lowering himself so he wouldn’t be seen. He had no idea why he thought to hide, he just did it without thinking. Perhaps being so used to Spider-Man, he wasn’t sure how to act as a plain ol’ civilian -- hiding wasn’t a normal response. But who were these people anyway? Peter slowly rose his head so he could be able to peer as much as he could onto the scene unfolding in front of him. There were a couple of people in cars pulled over on the side of the road and a couple of people walking along the road, seemingly coming out from the woods. They were carrying toolboxes and one of them had a jack. A couple of car doors opened and closed. Peter watched them surround Dot’s car. That terrible feeling was beginning to have substance to it now. But Peter didn’t make himself known quite yet; he remained ducked and out of sight as he listened on.

“Why are there two cars here?”

“I’unno, I got the same report you did. One car, one lady. If we got another car, that’s pretty cool too, I guess. We can scrap ‘em both. We have the room.”

“But where are the owners?”

“They couldn’t have gone far if we don’t see them around here, you know Uldor has it so anyone can find this place. They’re probably in town already.”

There was a murmur of agreement before the sound of clanking and scrapes caused Peter to take a real good look at what they were doing. He couldn’t tell since a couple of large bodies were in his way. He noted that their backs were turned to him and he quietly and very stealthily and with the flexibility of, well, Spider-Man, he crawled out of his open window. The quiet padding of his hands and feet crawling to the hood of the car went unheard as the louder tinkering masked his movements. He crouched on top of Aunt May’s car, trying to get a better look at what they were doing to Dot’s rent-a-car.

It was clear now that they were doing what he had assumed -- they were pulling the tires off and taking parts away. They were stripping it. He looked around to see if Wade was anywhere nearby. He caught a flash of red and inwardly groaned.

“What do you think you’re doing to my girlfriend’s car!?” Wade’s question was that much more dramatic as he landed on the hood of his so-called girlfriend’s car and blew out the windows with the force of his landing. Peter looked up, wondering just how far he fell and was he climbing trees all this time?!

Peter flipped backwards off the hood as Wade distracted the others and quietly landed on the gravel. He was behind the trunk and he peered around the car, wondering how he was going to assist Wade without compromising his identity.

“Who the fuck are you?” someone shouted.

“Who the fuck are you?!” Wade shouted in retaliation. He did a good job with taking the men off-guard, and they stumbled back dropping their tools with a clatter onto the concrete. He kicked a man in the face, punched another, and soon, it was an all out brawl of flying fists and huge men just fighting in the street.

“SPIDEY, DOING YOUR THING WOULD BE MUCH HELPFUL RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO KILL THESE PEOPLE!” Wade chimed over his shoulder. “AND I REALLY, REALLY WANT TO KILL THESE PEOPLE!”

“Who is he talking to?!” someone shouted, looking around before the butt of Wade’s katana knocked out their teeth.

“DON’T!” Peter grit his own teeth, “YOU KNOW WHY I CAN’T!”

“Oh,” Wade said, ducking someone’s desperate tackle. The person went skidding along the asphalt and Wade snapped his head towards Aunt May’s car. “I DIDN’T TELL YOU, HUH?”

“TELL ME WHAT?”

“LOOK IN THE TRUN--OOF!”

“WHERE IS HIS PARTNER?” another man shouted while succeeding on punching Wade, cutting off his sentence. Men looked around confused for a second before the rumble continued.

Peter’s eyes widened and making a snap decision he was probably going to find hard to explain, he smacked the side of Aunt May’s trunk with his fist, the force immediately popping it open. He pulled out his trunk and found that his Spider-Suit had been packed with the rest of his belongings, folded neatly on top with one of Wade’s crude kindergarten drawings of his symbol blowing a kiss and winking up at him.

Peter grinned and for once, he was grateful for Wade’s meddling.

Wade looked around as the men circled around him carrying variations of the tools they were using to dismantle the car. Normally, he wouldn’t have a problem putting them into the ground but it was just so much harder to win fights without seriously maiming someone. He twirled one of his katanas in his hand, knowing damn well Peter was going to have to subdue them his way with his webbing if he wanted anyone of them to survive. If anyone asked Wade, though, if they were involved with Dot’s disappearance, they didn’t deserve to.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Spider-Man landed into the “ring” next to Deadpool. “but I seem to be having a little car trouble.”

Deadpool cracked a grin, snorting in amusement as he tacked on, “Don’t think we’re going to have any luck with these guys, here. They don’t seem to know the first thing about cars--” Wade kicked his foot out, catching the nearest jack that had been on the floor and sent it flying into some guy’s face. His head snapped backwards, blood and a few teeth went flying out of his head.

“To be fair,” Spider-Man quipped, “we don’t either!” He spun a web around the man Deadpool just assaulted while he was distracted and hurt, sticking him to the ground.

It was as easy as setting them up and knocking them down at this point. 

Spider-Man finished webbing all the “bad guys” together in a huge cocoon that sat at the side of the road. They were unconscious and didn’t really provide any answers as Spider-Man and Deadpool put the beat down on them.

“That’s it,” Peter huffed, clapping his hands clean. “Don’t know who we can call to take care of these guys but they mentioned a town around here. Maybe we can get some answers there and call the local law enforcement to clean up.”

“Dot’s got to be at that town, then.”

“No doubt,” Peter frowned, putting his hands on his hips. “I can’t believe our luck. Even outside of New York, we keep running into creeps.”

“Yeah,” Wade shook his head, “the world is kind of a shitty place but it’s a little bit better with Dot out there in it.”

Wade was right, of course. Peter’s arms dropped to the side and the two of them sunk into a silence thinking about Wade’s phrase. Dot was out there, needing their help now.

Peter broke the silence as he gestured at Aunt May’s car, “Come on, we better get a move on.”

The men piled inside and clad in their Spider-Man and Deadpool costume, roared down the road seated side by side.

Dot had been disappointed with the bar selection and had retired back into the Rose Room as soon as she finished her burger and Pepsi. The place itself wasn’t too bad, it was what she could expect from a bar and the people were friendly and didn’t give her any hostile feeling whatsoever.

But now that she was in her room, she thought about her time spent at this strange town of Ludor. There was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on that didn’t seem right but at the face value of it, everything was picture perfect. Perhaps seeming too perfect was the flaw itself.

She thought back to the unclear directions she got about the auto-tow shop, too. No one gave her a straight answer and she couldn’t recall whether it was on purpose or people just weren’t paying attention to what she was asking. She got sent to one end of town and walked the length of the other. She was tired and irritated. Night had fallen quickly and Agnes never really phoned her about the status of her car arriving. Perhaps she should go and check...

Dot looked down at her phone and noted the time. It was nearing one o’clock at night! Wow! When had it gotten so late?! This was definitely not normal. There was no telling if Agnes was still going to be up this hour but Dot figured there was something she could probably look into at the front desk, even if she had to break into the cabinets herself.

She got up off her bed and immediately froze. She heard something outside her door. Her lights had been turned off for a while now and she had been laying in bed, trying to get rid of the headache that was her experience in this little town. Supposing to anyone looking at her window, they would have assumed she turned in long ago. Dot stood rooted in place; there was no doubt about it. She was hearing sound outside her door.

It was faint whispering, and she could recognize Katherine, Agnes, but there was a male voice she couldn’t pin.

“I think the poor dear tuckered herself out. I heard from Samson she went asking around for the shop.” Dot heard Agnes say.

“I bet she was sent on a wild goose chase.” That was Katherine. “There is no auto-tow shop around here. Makes you wonder what the others told her.”

“Probably what they needed to. It’s a good thing she wasn’t suspicious about anything. Her car taken care of?” This was the male voice now. The one she didn’t recognize but he spoke with the authority that made Dot feel he was the one in charge between the three. 

“Yes, Row and the boys went to take it apart. Easy enough to explain car trouble about to be squared away to anyone that pulls over and wants to lend a hand.”

“Normally, it’d be nice to have extra bodies around but we can’t afford that right now. Our guest here was a surprise. I didn’t think the Master had any plans on visitors this month.” It was the man again. It threw Dot off guard when he brought up the bit about the Master. Who? What the fuck was going on? But Dot would be a damn fool to stick around to see.

Dot was quietly making her way towards the window not eager to find out, either. The bay window, she could see by now, was bolted shut. There was another window in the bathroom if she could remember correctly. A sound at the door caught her attention and her heart nearly popped out of her chest. Her vision zeroed in at the doorknob to see it turning. They were trying to get inside now.

It was a good thing that Dot always locked her doors. She hurried now, rushing to the window and tried to pry it open. It wasn’t bolted but it was stuck. She looked around before giving up half-way and started to be not so kind to it, anymore. Fuck the noise and fuck that noise, she was going to survive.

“Shit, I hear something. I think she’s trying to escape!”

There was a loud thud as a body slammed against the door and Dot shrieked, jumping in place. She slammed the bathroom door shut just to put another barrier in place and stood on the toilet. She grasped at the nearest thing that would support her slight weight as she sent a foot kicking at the pane. It took a couple of times before the wood started to splinter and Dot took that as a sign that it was unstuck. At the same time she opened the window, she heard the door crash open. She didn’t even look back as she climbed out. She was through it as the bathroom door slammed open and she was suddenly falling into a bed of roses that softened her landing -- just a little; she didn’t even have the time to appreciate the irony of that as the wind was knocked out of her lungs. But she scrambled to her feet, taking off towards the middle of town where she knew the road to be that would take her out of town.

She could hear the front door open to the inn as she circled around the B&B but she didn’t dare look back. She was tempted, especially after hearing someone shout after her, and then hearing footsteps as she was chased into the street she was seeking.

It was surprising when two headlights almost collided into her. Dot crouched into her self, yelling in surprise, and ready to feel the impact of her inevitable doom and yet... it never came.

“Dot?”

Her head snapped up.

“Spider-Man? Deadpool?!”

She didn’t even wait for an explanation, planting her hands on the car and circling it just to pop open the backseat and dive inside. She was safe now. The boys were here. Her boys were here.

“We got to get her to a safe place,” Peter reasoned, looking in the backseat to ensure that Dot was okay. “What happened, are you okay...” He trailed off as his eyes caught movement of the town coming alive. People were coming out of nearby buildings with torches and pitchforks. “--what the heck is going on here?”

Wade’s face was pressed up against the window, taking in the sights as well. “I’m going to lose my last shred of sanity.”

“You can’t lose what you don’t have!” Peter quipped back and without even thinking, put the car in reverse, backed up, and then veered away from the people now throwing rocks at them.

Wade turned back around, wide-eyed. “Seriously, are you guys seeing the same thing I am because if not, I’ve got to tell you. I’m experiencing something that can only come out of some weird fanfiction plot.”

“We all see it, Wade!” Peter said, a little short-tempered. His eyes kept flickering back to Dot who hadn’t once sat up or said anything else. She was probably in shock. Or trying to gather her bearings. Peter was just determined on putting as much distance from Dot and this town as much as possible. And then, maybe coming back later to take care of whatever operation was going down--

Peter was somewhere in the middle of mid-thought and trying to process this situation when out of nowhere, they crashed. It was as if an invisible wall erupted from the ground. The car was instantly stopped, both Peter and Wade bashing their heads on the steering wheel and dashboard. It was a good thing no one flew out the windshield! Peter groaned and instantly turned around to see what had happened to Dot.

She looked dazed but she was okay, considering the crash they just had.

“What happened?” she asked, groaning in pain. She brought a hand to her head and pulled it away to see if she had been bleeding.

“I don’t know,” Peter said, uncertain. He heard Wade getting out of the car in the form of breaking glass and a heavy thud falling onto the ground as he squeezed himself out the window. And then, he heard Wade.

“Do you guys have any idea what I have in that car?! MY BABIES ARE IN THERE!” 

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

“PRECIOUS. CARGO!”

“I thought you didn’t bring your guns!” Peter shouted, sticking his head and then the rest of his body out his window the second time that day. The front of the car was totaled. There was no way he was getting his door open.

“I lied!” Wade threw over his shoulder and then, “It’s a good thing, too! We needed them!”

“Just... don’t kill anyone!” Peter warned as he crawled along the roof and then dropped down to Dot’s side of the car, nearly ripping the door off its hinges.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he urged in a soft voice, offering his hand with a curl of his fingers. “let’s get you somewhere safer.”

Dot looked up and swore the Spider-Man was her personal guardian angel. “Did we crash into something?” she asked, gingerly placing her hand in his. Spider-Man wrapped his hand tightly around hers, firm yet careful about how he pulled her out. He bundled her to his chest, looking around. He couldn’t see anything in front of them but the car was definitely resting against something like they had crashed into.

“I... think so,” he said, maneuvering out of the wreckage. He settled Dot to her feet, his arms spread out to catch her if she felt dizzy enough to fall. “Are you alright? Do you think you can find someplace to lay low while Deadpool and I handle this?”

Dot nodded and then took off in the direction of the bar. It was the nearest building she could see and she figured all the townsfolk were out and about fighting Spider-Man and Deadpool. This time she did glance back, proud of them, before bursting through the door and taking a look around to make sure she really was alone.

The place was empty, eerily so, and it seemed not a body was in sight. She paused to ensure there was no one upstairs or in the back rooms she might have been able to catch by stray footsteps or the like.

Silence.

Nothing.

Dot felt confident, ducking under the bar trying to tuck herself into a corner so in case someone did come in, they wouldn’t see her easily. She was backing up, placing herself against the wall when she hit something solid. She assumed it was the wall and turned around to make certain.

A strangled cry of surprise tore from her throat as she locked eyes on a little girl, tucked into the corner she was trying to get into. 

That was right! She saw a lot of kids today. While normally a soft spot, she couldn’t help but feel weary. She didn’t want to throw hands with a 10 year old.

“You have to help us.” the little girl pleaded. Dot sat there at a loss for words. She didn’t trust a damn person in this town but kids were different. They always have been and always will be her weakness.

“H-Help?” she asked, nervously. She kept her voice lowered just in case. She nearly jumped when more kids surrounded her, all crouched to her level and all with the same pleading look in their eyes.

“Help us,” a little boy said, placing his hand on Dot’s knee. He was dressed in a little suit, but had a hideous scar going down the right side of his face.

“He’s placed a curse on us...” another little girl spoke, wearing what seemed to be her Sunday's best. She had a little red bow in her hair and shiny, black shoes. Dot’s heart wrenched for these children.

“A curse? Who?”

“Uldor...”

Peter was glad to see that Wade could keep his promise on not killing any of the townspeople. He was able to knock pitchforks out of their hands and make them retreat enough until he started to run out of ammo.

“It’s time for the slicing and dicing,” Wade muttered, reaching behind himself to pull out his sheathed katanas. Peter held out a hand though as he noticed something.

“Wait, Deadpool. They’re not attacking us anymore.”

“Did they give up?”

Peter’s Spider-Sense was going off so that was a negative. He looked around but couldn’t find the source. “No...”

“Then why--?”

“I can answer that.” 

The source came to him, it seemed. A tall, skinny man walked out of the crowd that parted like the sea for him. He was wearing a robe and carrying a staff held high above his head while the other was outstretched towards Peter and Wade. There were millions of jokes running through Peter’s mind but he found he couldn’t crack a single one of them. His gaze kept darting back to the building where he saw Dot run into. It wasn’t the time for jokes. It wasn’t the time to make light of a situation where Dot could very well get hurt if he wasn’t taking this seriously.

“What the fuck is Gandalf doing here?”

Apparently, Wade thought differently. 

Or perhaps it was the balance Peter needed in order to keep things from getting too serious.

“Gandalf? How insulting.” The man in the robe spoke in a haughty tone, clearly looking down his nose at the duo. “My name is Uldor and I rule this town and its inhabitants. You have crossed into my territory.”

“You rule this town?” Peter asked, looking confused. He looked around at the townspeople surrounding them. No one moved. No one even blinked. “What is wrong with them?” he asked, pointing at the crowd.

Uldor smirked now, a twist of the goatee, and he looked really proud of what he was about to say. “They are under my curse. This town was set free from its falsities, I’ve made it become what it truly was meant to be!” he shouted with his arms ever rising.

“The hell does that mean?” Wade asked. But Uldor was all too eager to tell. Isn’t that what they do? Break out into their monologue? And so Uldor was no different.

“Many years ago, I stumbled upon this town when I was just a traveler in search for food and water to quench my thirst--”

“The hell year was this?” Wade asked once more, looking around. “We’re not even five hours away from New York, you know, that real big city over the hill there? Why are you acting you were traveling across the Saha--”

“SILENCE!”

The man swiped his hand and with unseen force, Wade was lifted off his feet and thrown into the nearest building. Peter spun, shouting out for Wade before turning back to face Uldor, “What was that?!”

Uldor didn’t answer him because he went back to telling his story like nothing happened, “This town was ripe with hospitality everywhere, around every corner, I was met with smiles, I was put up in a room. People supplied comfort and reassurance. But I feel tell they weren’t genuine. Underneath the many smiles hid fangs and venom, hidden intentions that would best be risen to the surface. But I couldn’t call them out on it. I put it to the test. I put a curse on them, this town would suffer its own destruction unless it acted selfishly to save itself. If they were truly as good as they made themselves up to be, they would be sacrificing themselves for the greater good.”

Peter’s face contorted into frustration. “...And if they weren’t up for sacrificing themselves?”

“Well. The town is still standing, is it not?”

Spider-Man’s jaw clenched. “What do they have to do to save themselves?” he asked again.

Uldor grinned, a hideous sight. There was perverse pleasure in saying out loud that he had been right all along. “These people sacrifice others so they may prologue their life here. They trap tourists, innocent travelers, families, whatever it takes to keep the life-blood flowing into their veins. They use their entire town as a means to save themselves.”

Spider-Man didn’t know whether to feel pity or anger for these fools. He wasn’t looking at people anymore. As he gazed around the faces of the crowd around him, he was looking as husks. Townsfolk ghosts of their former selves. He tore his gaze away from the crowd and onto Uldor again.

“How do you set these people free?”

Uldor looked unamused, quirking his head as he stared down the man in a funny, red suit. “They cannot be free. They must forever feed from the life source of outsiders to sustain themselves. Otherwise, they will be destroyed. I won, either way. I got my answer. Whether I was right or wrong, I would have gotten a substantial food source by sucking the souls away from these people had they sacrificed themselves. But they didn’t and now I have an endless supply.”

“Wow, you really are evil...” Wade’s voice came from the wooden planks that had fallen over his body. He stopped to listen as well, even if that meant he was catching his breath during the duration. He sat up, shaking his head from the debris. “Whatever you hit me with, whoo, buddy. That’s got an nasty kick. Be careful, Webs.”

Spider-Man nodded. This was going to be a tough fight. He didn’t know what to do about the townspeople and he wasn’t sure what the conditions were for breaking a curse. There was one person he could call up but he didn’t think he would have time to make a personal call. It was up to Spider-Man and Deadpool to save what could be safe of this town.

“I cannot let you leave,” Uldor taunted. He was gesturing for some of the townsfolk to resume their attack.

“Well, we’re not staying.” Spider-Man retorted, glancing over as Deadpool made it back to his side. “What do you think, Deadpool?”

“I think it’s time you give me a nickname--oh, that’s not what you were talking about.” Deadpool took a stance. 

“Slice and dicing time...?”

“You know me so well, Webs.”

Dot listened to the children’s tale of Uldor and the curse he put on the town. What a complete dick. But the children had a much sadder tale. They were forced to remain children for as long as the curse was active. For as long as the town was “alive” and they were so very tired, so weary, of staying the same.

“I don’t know how I can help you break this curse,” Dot whispered, looking troubled. Some of the children were resting against her, and she had taken to comforting some of them. “do you guys have anything for me?”

“We do,” Annalise, the one with the bow, said. She pointed at the floorboards of the bar. “the Master keeps the amulet of all his power down there.”

Dot paused, swallowing thickly. “...Down where?” But she already knew. She shook her head, “Okay, don’t...answer that,” she said softly. “Just show me where I can go before I lose my nerve.”

There was no way Dot was going to let these children suffer anymore than they had to. Even if she had to put on the bravest face she ever had to in her life.

This was where she found herself now. She was crawling along the small space underneath the bar’s floorboards. If she could look up, she could see the bar through the cracks. It was a little dusty and musty down here but she was doing well so far. She just hoped nothing jumped out at her in this small space. She didn’t think she would survive.

Meanwhile, it had grown quiet outside and she thought she could hear talking. She assumed the Big Bad Meanie showed up and was now making his monologue -- why do bad guys do that, she wanted to ask -- but she knew she didn’t really have time to focus on that. She had to get to the amulet and then find a way to destroy it. From what she was told, it was where he stored all his excess power from the townsfolk when they met more than their quota. She had mixed feelings about the townsfolk themselves but she always pitied the children in situations like this. They had no control over the decisions of adults, why did they have to suffer, too?

Dot cursed silently to herself wondering when she was going to find this thing when she heard something of a magical humming. That had to mean she was close! Pretty soon, she was looking at a small cut out in the ground, just a bit deeper than her crawling space. The area glowed an eerie soft glow of green as her eyes scanned the small enclosed cut out. She just had crawl down because the floorboards above her didn’t leave much room for anything else. She didn’t even think she could stand in that small cut out -- it was that short! Maybe if she tried to stretch--

“WHOA!”

Spider-Man came flying into the bar, crashing through the wooden foundation and splintering into the hole Dot was stretched over. Outside, the fighting had very much resumed and to be frank, Spider-Man and Deadpool were having difficulties trying to fight this magical wizard guy. His magic was tougher than it looked to handle, both being tossed and flung around by an invisible hand and to make matters worse, whenever it seemed they were about to land a punch or a kick at him, one of the townspeople would fling themselves in the way. So far, they hadn’t gotten a lick on Uldor.

Spider-Man slowly sat up and looked around at the small cave in. He seemed confused until he locked eyes with Dot. They were both wide-eyed as they stared at each other.

“Dot?!”

“Spider-Man!?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m trying to help the children!”

“The what, who??”

Dot didn’t have time to explain as Uldor came in, a ball of magic formed in his hands. He had planned on hurling it at Spider-Man since he seemed to be incapacitated. But that wasn’t the case; he soon spotted woman from earlier. The one passing through. She was so close to the amulet.

“NO!” 

Dot yanked the amulet from off its pedestal. Everything happened so fast yet it seemed to happen in slow motion. All she knew was that she had to destroy it. 

“DEADPOOL, SHOOT THIS!” she shouted, throwing the amulet into the air.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT OKAY!” Deadpool’s voice came through from somewhere outside. He kissed his gun and spat, “LUCKY BULLET #69 DON’T FAIL ME NOW!”

Deadpool always makes his mark, even when he doesn’t know what he’s aiming at sometimes. The bullet shot through the amulet and it shattered like glass and a blue magical energy pulsed from the remains, exploding like a large firework. Spider-Man’s Spider-Sense was going haywire and he ducked further into the dugout, throwing his body over Dot’s. Dot didn’t see and luckily, didn’t feel, the resulting explosion overhead. However, she was able to hear Uldor scream in agony, the sound mimicked from outside as dozens of townspeople started to fall to the ground, hissing and smoking into green wisps that soon flew up into the sky. 

After a while, everything seemed quiet if not for a few things crackling because they had caught on fire. Spider-Man groaned and Dot sat up in a panic, cradling Spider-Man’s body that had been half resting over her lap.

“Spider-Man!” She cried, “Spider-Man! Are you okay?” she was too afraid to shake him. The back of his suit bore the brunt of the damage; strips of his flesh were exposed and he was bleeding. His mask sat a little crooked over his head.

“Yeah, peachy keen.” he semi-joked but groaned when he tried to move. It just hurts initially but he’ll honestly be up and walking in no time. He made sure to tell Dot that, too.

Deadpool poked his head in, a piece of wood sticking out of it. “Guys, I feel funny.”

Dot gasped, her eyes getting a little teary. “Oh my gosh!”

Spider-Man turned his head to see what had Dot so distressed. He could understand her worry and while he tried to tell her that it was going to be okay,  the foundation of the bar started to shake and the place was rattling and clattering overhead. It seemed the damage wasn’t completely over with.

“Crap!” Spider-Man shouted overhead. Spider-Man wasted no time in scooping Dot up from the dugout, the two rolling outside just in time as the bar collapsed within itself. Plumes of dirt and smoke burst outwards and Dot began to cough; Spider-Man helped by holding her face against his chest, shielding her with his body.

The entire town came down around them. Without the sustenance of the townspeople, it was rotting all the way through. An illusion powered by the curse. In a way, it was a relief it was over. In another, scary way, it was amazing what you can find in your own backyard.

Dot glanced up as she heard her name whispered in the wind that tousled her hair, cleared the dust away, and kissed her cheek. She saw the faint outlines of people, waving at her, smiling. She looked confused before realizing that she recognized some of the clothing they were wearing. There was a handsome young man wearing a suit, with a scar on his cheek, waving and fading away. A beautiful woman in her Sunday’s best, a little bow in her hair, and wearing shiny black shoes was blowing her a kiss. She closed her eyes and felt happy to know she helped free those little children and she rested her head against Spider-Man’s chest with a stifled sob.

Spider-Man glanced down, rubbing her back. “It’s going to be okay, Dot. You’re safe now.”

Dot surprised him by taking his face in her hands. “You guys are hurt really bad!” She started looking around, “Where’s Wade?!”

Wade answered by landing on his back next to him, that spike of wood still lodged in his head. He pulled it out with a sickening crunch and threw it aside where it landed with a hollow clank a few feet away. “I just need to lay here for a bit.”

Dot threw herself over Wade, wailing. “YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL!”

Wade tensed up, not sure on how to react when someone started to fuss over him. It wasn’t a familiar feeling. He wasn’t even sure what to call it. Was it fussing? But he knew how to comfort in his own way. He placed a hand on Dot’s back, giving it a rub.

Spider-Man laughed a little, slowly sitting up. His back still hurt but it wasn’t as bad as when he first got injured. His accelerated healing was helping and he knew the same was happening for Deadpool. However, Dot was still new to the details of their powers. Spider-Man happened to forget this, trying to reassure Dot in a way that might have seemed dismissive about their injuries.

He was in the middle of readjusting his mask, saying, “This kind of stuff happens all the time when you’re a super--”

“PETER B. PARKER! I don’t want to hear that shit! Don’t you play this off like nothing! You could have died! We all could have died!”

“Technically, I don’t think I can die--”

“WADE W. WILSON! You don’t want to do this right now!”

Wade gasped, “She pulled the middle name thing with me too.”

Peter’s hands flew up and he was already trying to explain, “I mean it, though! You don’t have to worry, this is--” he paused.

Did she?

Did Dot just?

Everyone sat in silence before Wade broke it again.

“Ohhhh my god, she called you Peter B. Parker!”

Peter was like a fish, opening and closing his mouth from under his mask. “How? When did? What? How? When?” He was running through his mind many ways Dot could have found out but none of them seemed plausible. But then he asked, “You’re not mad?”

Dot looked surprised before shaking her head. “N-No, no. I’m not mad, why would I be mad at you? I... understand you have your reasons for protecting your identity.” She paused, “And for as how I found out... Otto kind of spilled. Except, I feel silly since I didn’t piece it together immediately.”

“Otto?” Peter asked. “From that one time--?”

“Yep. I thought it was a first name in the beginning. But, then when I pieced you together... with Spider-Man, it just kind of made sense.” she laughed quietly, “Meeting Peter Parker right after Spider-Man...”

Dot felt the rumble as Wade laughed underneath her. She gave him an encouraging smile, “Are you... okay?”

“Move a little to the left and I’ll be in heaven.”

Dot looked down and ...realized what Wade had meant. Yeah, making the suggestion Dot sit between his legs while laying on top of him definitely meant he was okay. 

Peter was still in a daze when there was a familiar sound of a portal being opened nearby. It caught the attention of all three since it was the only sound coming from anywhere. Heads turned and there it was, the ring of yellow-orange sparks circling, spiraling, into existence as none other than Doctor Strange walked through.

If Doctor Strange was surprised to see anyone at the site, he didn’t show it. Wade’s head thunk onto the ground once more, unaffected by the appearance of yet another super. Yet Dot was another story altogether. She openly gaped, watching as the portal disappeared behind him. He was a tall, imposing figure, wearing a cape that seemed to move with a life of its own. White touched at his temples of an otherwise dark full head of hair giving him a distinguished look. Dot would openly admit that this man was attractive as sin.

Yet, Peter stood up right away to greet him. “Hey Doctor Strange!” he sounded chipper despite the angry marks marring his back as he walked over, lifting a hand in a friendly wave. Dot was amazed Peter knew so many amazing people! Doctor Strange was a man whom she knew little about because not many talked about him so it was hard to dig up any information. She was a little intimated to be honest.

“Spider-Man,” Doctor Strange greeted with the air of someone important and if Dot had to guess, he definitely was by the way he carried himself. He was polite enough to greet everybody else, too. “Deadpool and...?”

Doctor Strange knew exactly who Dot was, but he wasn’t going to deny himself the pleasure of Dot introducing herself to him. That was a little piece of knowledge he kept tucked away, close to the vest, like all the little secrets he was aware of. Dot cleared her throat, and sat up. She made to stand but Deadpool was already at his feet, helping her up to hers as well. The two of them walked over to form the semi-circle around Doctor Strange.

He extended his hand and Dot felt nervous putting it in his. This man oozed class and she felt a little self-conscious looking like soot in the wake of an explosion. But Doctor Strange didn’t seem to notice as he gave her a kind and warm smile, that curious stare taking in a lot more than Dot ever wanted him to see... especially at a time like this.

“Dot.” Dot smiled, uncertain. “Dot Dreadful.”

Wade and Peter were eyeing that handshake with a little more obvious jealousy than... well, Peter, at least, would like to admit. Deadpool was about to karate chop their hands apart but even Peter stopped him by taking hold of his hand and opting to hold it until he felt it was safe to let go. Wade, as one can imagine, was heavily distracted.

“This means we’re boyfriends,” Wade leaned over with a sing-songy whisper. Peter just sighed.

Doctor Strange squeezed her hand in a gentle, but meaningful gesture. It made her heart skip a beat.

“Interesting.” he murmured, “I feel a certain kinship in our matching names. I assume you get comments on yours all the time?”

Dot laughed, feeling relaxed at his casual tone and safe presence. “Oh, all the time.”

“It is the same with me.” Doctor Strange smiled in return. It was hard for Dot ignore the way he held onto her hand. “I would love to hear some of the stories sometime.”

Dot could only mutely nod, knowing her cheeks were tinting pink. Luckily for her, Doctor Strange granted her a reprieve with a knowing smile and a little wink as he moved on to talk to Spider-Man.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Spider-Man divulged the entire trip from uh, planning on accompanying Dot through her trip (which Dot was surprised but it did explain why they were there in the first place!) and stumbling upon this cursed town. Doctor Strange then explained, for Dot’s sake, that anything magical was his expertise and that was why he was there.

“After what I assumed was you guys breaking the curse, I felt the magical energy spike and it lead me here. Imagine my surprise seeing you guys already here.” More so, Doctor Strange was referring to something more tantalizing than the magic he can control at his fingertips.

“After today... I think I’d believe in anything.” Dot laughed, a little tired from the day’s events. Doctor Strange turned to give her a smile over his shoulder and went back to searching at what was left of the bar.

“Ah.” Doctor Strange released a short exclamation, bending down to pick something up. Spider-Man was peering over his shoulder when he noticed a little green sliver between the Doctor’s fingers.

“Did you find something, Doc?”

“Doctor Strange.” he corrected, “Or Stephen,” he told Dot before continuing, “This. It’s a piece of the amulet. As far as I know, the last piece surviving. I understand you had to break the amulet in order to break the curse?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Spider-Man nodded before he paused and turned to Dot, “How did you know that?”

“The little children told me...”

“Children?” Stephen asked, turning around. “That sounds interesting. You must also tell me all about your experience today. I hope it hasn’t been too traumatizing. Perhaps I can help with that.”

Dot smiled, giving in to a little shy nod. She had no idea what Doctor Strange... erm, Stephen, would want with her recounting when Peter and Wade went through with actually fighting the guy.

“I can tell you my experience,” Wade muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“How about this, Strangey?” Wade asked, picking up a rock.

“It’s Doctor Strange. That is a rock.”

“And it’s not magical?”

“Again, it is a rock.”

Wade threw the rock over his shoulder. “Anyway, did you know what this Uldor guy was about?”

Stephen paused, running the name through his head. A frown pulled at his handsome features. “No, I’m afraid I haven’t heard of anyone by that name. But surely, it’s the last of him.” He held the sliver of the amulet up to his face, closing one eye to look at it carefully. 

“Is it dangerous?” Peter asked.

“Barely. It still has some magical residue on it. I’ll put it away for safe keeping.” He pocketed the sliver and looked around at the little beat up group. “You guys look like you can use a break. I can port us back to the Sanctum Sanctorum if you don’t mind restarting your trip tomorrow.”

Dot glanced back and forth between Spider-Man and Deadpool. She had no idea what the Sanctum Sanctorum was but it sounded... like a better place than here and she figured she could use a break from writing her sequel for a while. Her editor would understand. Spider-Man and Deadpool were looking at her for confirmation, after all, this was her trip.

She cleared her throat, a touch shy about all the attention she now realized was on her. “Y-Yes, please. We... we would appreciate that.”

Stephen gave her a charming smile and Dot stood captivated by his hand gestures as he opened another portal. He placed his hand on the small of Dot’s back and led her into the portal first while giving the boys a glance behind him. “You don’t mind staying over for tea, right? Or coffee if you prefer.” he noted Peter had opened his mouth to protest. His shoulders sagged and he shrugged.

“Just... don’t hit too much on my girlfriend.”

As the portal closed behind them, Dot’s surprised, “W-What?” could be heard clipped behind it.

[oselatra]

NOT ME!

I never groped a woman or did any of those other things that are flashing across the news outlets every day.  True enough, I never had a "real" job, at least not one in an office environment, but the idea of invading a person's privacy in such a manner is just foreign to me.  I mean, it's not like I'm constantly fighting off the urge to grope, like an alcoholic fighting off the urge to knock back a bottle of Schnapps.

NOT ME!

I never groped a woman or did any of those other things that are flashing across the news outlets every day.  True enough, I never had a "real" job, at least not one in an office environment, but the idea of invading a person's privacy in such a manner is just foreign to me.  I mean, it's not like I'm constantly fighting off the urge to grope, like an alcoholic fighting off the urge to knock back a bottle of Schnapps.  

And what about the other men in the workplace, the non-gropers? Why don't they explain to the gropers that what they are doing is just not acceptable?

We need two things here. We need all the non-gropers to stand up and say, "NOT ME." Then we need them to take the gropers aside and enlighten those Neanderthals.

David Rose

Hot Springs

From the web

In response to the Nov. 6 Arkansas Blog post, "Supreme Court refuses to hear Mike Maggio's appeal":

It's a shame he only got 10 years. I wonder what the parole possibilities are? He won't serve enough time, in my opinion, for the incredible abuse of trust given a judge. He's contributed to the downfall of the entire justice system. Here's hoping that his income is attached for the rest of his life to pay off the civil case.

Perplexed

Shouldn't he have to serve extra time for showing what an a-hole he is? Remember geaux tigers?

Maxifer

There is no parole in the federal system, Perplexed, so he will serve all of his time, less a little bit (matter of a few months at most) off of that if he behaves himself. This is what is so great about federal sentencing vis-a-vis state ones. In the federal cases, you know how much time a person is going to serve, whereas in state sentencing, you have to divide the sentence handed down by either one-sixth, one-third, one-half or 70 percent, depending on the severity of the crime.

plainjim

In response to the Nov. 5 Arkansas Blog post, "More than 20 dead in mass shooting in Texas church":

Dear Sutherland, how are those thoughts and prayers working for y'all?

Vanessa

Vanessa, what a heartless comment.

Downtowner

Eagerly anticipating the athleticism from the usual sources as they bend, twist and turn to keep from calling this, like the Vegas massacre, an act of terrorism, yet speak with such rapid assurance when the perp is identified as having one of those funny names.

During the interregnum, before such is revealed, it's "thoughts & prayers" down the line from the blowhards and puffers.

tsallernarng

For those who disliked Vanessa's earlier post, explain to me, precisely, what benefit has ever accrued to the victims, as opposed to the self-indulgently thoughtful and prayerful, from thoughts and prayers.

Silverback66

Ho hum. Just part of the daily price of no coherent gun policy in the good old U.S.A. No amount of prayer will change that reality. Gotta wonder if our elected leaders see such mass shooting events as entertainment because they sure as hell aren't lifting so much as a little finger to do anything to change the status quo.

Damn shame, too. Maybe one of us on this blog will be in the next batch of mass victims. We can call it U.S.A. Roulette, just with more firepower and far more dead and wounded.

Oh, and where were the good guys with the guns we always hear will stop a bad guy with a gun like this? Or did Texas confiscate all the guns, and that news just hasn't percolated across the border yet?

Sound Policy

Just decided to buy a gun this week. Guess this is not the place for a recommendation on what kind to get.

Screen name taken

What makes me most sad about any of the mass shootings is that they even happen to begin with and that none of the perpetrators are being captured alive. The last mass shooting I can remember where the shooter was captured alive was the during the Planned Parenthood murders in Colorado Springs in 2015. Something is deeply wrong in our U.S.A. I believe in the right to bear arms, but I also believe that gun-worship is empowering the mentally ill to commit mass murder. So many hateful paranoid men thinking an assault rifle is going to right all the imaginary wrongs they feel have been done against them.

Artificial Intelligence

In defense of Vanessa, some version of the point she was trying to make has been all over Facebook, Twitter and the blogosphere all afternoon and this evening. Maybe she was the first one to "go there" on the blog, but she is definitely not the first to say it. It was out there well before it showed up here. People are tired of hearing "thoughts and prayers" and then that's the end of it. Anyone can say that. It's beginning to ring hollow and I cringe whenever I hear it now. If "thoughts and prayers" help in any way, how could this have happened in the most holy of places?

 Something evil has been unleashed and is running amok in the U.S.A. I have no idea how we are going to find our way back to civilization, but I'm sure it will take more than a catch phrase to fix this mess.

mountaingirl

Thoughts and prayers never solved any crimes. It is just an excuse, a damned cover-up for insensitive politicians who don't want to solve what is one of the biggest — if not the single biggest — dangers of our modern society: the uninhibited access to weapons capable of mass killings. Politicians hide behind their thoughts and prayers while people are being killed. This same thing could happen at my church. We don't take any security measures because everyone should be welcomed to the house of the Lord. Speaking of "thoughts and prayers," how many of us really believe that the politicians are sincere in their offering them up?

plainjim

In response to the Nov. 5 Arkansas Blog post, "Honeymoon's over for Sarah Huckabee Sanders":

Dear Media, please keep it up. Sarah Huckabee upstaging her boss will simply shorten her time in the spotlight, and the administration will have to reach even lower for a spokesperson.

Vanessa

Better yet, Vanessa, if our world ever regains it sanity then maybe she'll never have a decent job again.

wannabee conservative

I notice lately she's taken to occasional attempted humor. Her jokes fall flat just like her dad's ... but without the outhouse flavor.

JB

Do you Kool-Aid drinkers ever get tired of tearing down successful people just because you oppose their political views? Guess they are OK as long as they agree with your views but look out if they do not. What a collective bunch of phonies.

Razorblade

So, the willingness to lie to the nation on a daily basis meets the description of "successful"? The ability to ignore the voice inside yourself that whispers "you're not telling the truth" is admirable? 

Such is the thought process of a party-before-country Republican.  The blog members can expect to be chastised by Mr. Razorblade for criticizing Manafort, Gates, Flynn and Flynn Jr., when their chances to lie in the spotlight come along, soon.

Emersum Biggins

Prediction: Barring total implosion, she keeps this gig up just long enough to declare for Boozman's seat when he formally announces he's not running for re-election.

Pygface

In response to the Nov. 3 Arkansas Blog post "State tourism official warns of economic damage from 'bathroom bill' ":

Unfortunately, the political atmosphere is one reason we've decided to move back to our home state. Won't miss the regression of women's rights, the push for more religion interference in public schools and the narrow-minded views of LGBTQ citizens. What ever happened to the Arkansas of David Pryor and Dale Bumpers? Instead we get Rutledge, Rapert and Mr. Re-Homing Harris. Truly sad.

Irishgirl2012

I just moved back to Arkansas from the bluest city in one of the bluest states in these united. To those of you bemoaning the present political climate in Arkansas, oh, and let me add J. William Fulbright and William J. Clinton, let me offer this nugget of consolation: The people and policies that so bedevil you in the present day will be swept away by the inevitable tide of progress. The past that the others are trying to regain is not coming back. The present, such as it is, will be transformed into the future that is evident in the more progressive societies in our country and world.

Inequities persist, but many of those prejudices of our past have been eroded in ways that may not be appreciated. Mixed race families might be a bit odd in some corners of Arkansas, but are not illegal and for the most part do not attract all that much attention. The public persons who formerly hid in the closet who have come out, well, that does not attract all that much attention, really no big deal, at least if they stick to consenting adults.

Yes, a rational, educated and thoughtful people should not take so long to do the right thing, but if you are smart enough to realize things should be better, you should be smart enough to realize that most of our fellow Americans, perhaps especially Arkansans, are not. Take some solace in the fact that Jeff Sessions, Donny Trump and Harvey Weinstein, among others, are not from Arkansas. We begat Johnny Cash, Jim Jones, Douglas Blackmon and Jeff Nichols. Take some pride in their works, and don't take any crap from others, and surely don't crap all over yourself.

Get to work, register, think and vote. Go get 'em.

deadseasquirrel

In response to a Nov. 1 Arkansas Blog post about Sarah Huckabee Sanders' defense of the weird characterization of the Civil War by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly:

Sarah may be dishonest, but she is not dumb, as many here try to portray her. She is an expert in the mechanics and the machinations of a political campaign. As White House press secretary, she is still running a political campaign. She did a good job managing John Boozman's 2010 campaign for the Senate, as well as her daddy's go-nowhere presidential campaign in 2012. She is politically savvy, and knows that politicians are rarely punished for lying. She also knows how to avoid critics. She simply quit communicating with the Arkansas Times, took the Times off the list of media receiving notices and never returned Max's phone calls, according to what he has posted previously. Politics is a duplicitous game at its best. She knows how to practice duplicity very well.

plainjim

NOT ME!

[vitalmindandbody]

How to get through chemotherapy: Decca Aitkenhead on cancer treatment

Before it happened to me, I never truly understood how terrible chemotherapy could be: no description can do it justice. But there are ways to ease its horrors that feature in none of the official advice, and I want everyone to know about them

If you were born after 1960, the odds that you will get cancer in your lifetime are now one in two. It is an extraordinary statistic. Even if you turn out to be one of the lucky ones, half of the people around your kitchen table this morning will at some point sit in a doctors surgery and be given the news that they have cancer. If the numbers continue in the same relentless direction, before long, it will be most of them.

Not all will have chemotherapy. The fortunate ones can be cured in other ways, while the truly unfortunate will have cancers chemo cannot treat. I met one of those unluckiest of souls only the other day. It hadnt occurred to me until then to feel very grateful for having been eligible for what was, without a doubt, the most unpleasant medical ordeal of my life.

Unpleasant is a word you hear a lot when people talk about chemo. It drove me to distraction when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer last summer, and was told I would undergo four months of chemotherapy. Like everyone else plunged into this frightening new world, I wanted to know what would happen. What would it be like?

Well, its doable, I read time and again, as I scanned online cancer forums for answers. Unpleasant but doable. It was maddening. Waiting to begin chemo is like being on medical death row; you know your body is about be attacked, but how it will feel is a sinister mystery, and unknowable dread only makes the waiting worse.

There is a reason for this inarticulacy. Human beings have had no historical need to evolve language applicable to the sensation of being systematically poisoned. Such a vocabulary has never before been necessary, so it does not exist. Chemotherapy patients are therefore obliged to deploy a limited repertoire of familiar but hopelessly inadequate substitutes; words that can only approximate to the experience, but fail to convey anything of its true essence. So we say that we are tired, and feel weak; that we have no energy, or feel somehow unrecognisably unlike ourselves. What we really mean and this doesnt capture it either, but its the best I can do is that we feel dead without having actually died. Chemotherapy strips away every last ounce of vitality or volition, until you are left only with the outward appearance of a living person. But you are a hollow husk, empty of all the essential constituents that make a person alive. It is a cruel irony that a drug designed to stop you dying makes you feel as if you have.

One of the many side-effects of chemotherapy of which Id been hitherto unaware is what it does to your brain. The medical profession was reluctant for many years to acknowledge a condition oncologists now call, with inelegant if commendable candour, chemo brain and like every other side-effect, it does not afflict everyone. But having witnessed the steady erosion of my own critical faculties, to the point where my IQ had sunk to marginally lower than my cats, I can testify that chemo makes some patients very, very stupid.

It is partly because of that that I hesitated to write this. A cancer diagnosis pitches you into a disorientating fog of confusing, alarming and often contradictory advice, which would be hard enough to navigate at the best of times. Trying to work out whats loopy and what might save your life or at least your sanity when you cant even follow the Jeremy Kyle Show can be profoundly frightening. Everyone is, of course, only trying to help, but when the stakes are so high and you cant think straight, the cacophony of advice is often counter-productive. I am reluctant to add to it.

Nevertheless, it is also the case that before I began chemotherapy I stumbled, quite by chance, upon two pieces of advice so invaluable that without them I do not like to think how I would have got through it. What is mystifying is why neither featured in a single NHS leaflet or cancer website I read. One is not cheap, and the other not easy, but both were more than worth it. I picked up some other tips along the way, which also feel worth sharing. So when anyone now asks me what advice I would offer to someone preparing for chemo, this is what I say.

Fake hair, real help

When I was first told I would have chemo, all I could think about was my hair. I would be having a double mastectomy, but losing my breasts didnt frighten me anything like as much as losing my hair. I remember feeling embarrassed and surprised by my sense of priorities. But you do not need to spend long in oncology waiting rooms to discover that the chief preoccupation of many, if not most, patients is the horror of going bald.

Some varieties of chemo dont make your hair fall out. Unfortunately, the kind I needed did. There are patients who manage to retain some hair by wearing a helmet of ice called a cold cap during every infusion but this is excruciatingly arduous, often doesnt work, and even when it does, will probably leave you with patchy wisps. I briefly considered the headscarf/turban alternative, but the futility of the artifice felt tragic. You might as well stick a sign on your head that says: LOOK! IVE GOT CANCER. A wig therefore seemed the only tenable solution but even the most ingeniously convincing one would still have to come off every night. I did not want to have to see myself bald and I wouldnt be the only one that had to. My sons were only five and four, and I knew they would hate it.

Decca Aitkenhead wearing her hair replacement system. Photograph: Shakira Kleiner

When an oncology nurse handed me a leaflet for Jennifer Effies Hair Solutions, offering an option I had never heard of, I thought it sounded too good to be true. (Other providers, I should say, are available.) If it really existed, how come no one else had mentioned it? The leaflet claimed I could have replacement hair glued to my head, which I would sleep in, wash and blow dry as normal, even wear in a pony tail, exactly as if it were my own. I read it doubtfully, in the waiting room of a private clinic. I was only there for a one-off consultation in search of a second opinion, and suspected this magical fake hair was probably a Harley Street racket to rip off the gullible rich.

But I couldnt help wondering what if it actually worked? Two days later I went to see Jennifer. A warm, smiley south Londoner, she seemed more like a therapist or nurse than a Mayfair hair stylist, and certainly nothing like a con artist. She had made it her lifes work to help women who had lost their hair, she said, by providing not wigs, they are not wigs. They are hair-replacement systems. For Jennifer it didnt sound like a business so much as a vocation, and the intent tenderness of her compassion quite disarmed me. She took three separate strands from my head, which would be sent to Russia, where human hair matching the different shades of blonde would be purchased. Then she wrapped Sellotape around my head to make a mould for a lace cap, on to which each individual strand would be hand stitched. The roots would then be coloured darker to make the hair look highlighted, like mine. As soon as my own hair began to fall out, I was to come in, and Jennifer would shave it off and glue on the hair replacement system using a special adhesive. My own hairdresser would cut and style it as normal, and no one would ever guess it wasnt mine.

The curious thing about losing ones hair is that even though you know it is going to fall out, the first clump to come away in your hand is a horrifying shock. I stared at it, in disbelief, and wept. To be so stunned made no sense at all, but is, I have subsequently learned, what almost everyone feels. I got on the train that afternoon, and went to see Jennifer to have my system applied.

To care so much about ones hair when you have cancer might seem like vanity, but really it is just a longing for normality. And the hair-replacement system made me normal. Jennifer was right no one could tell. After a month or so I told my children it wasnt my hair, and they were incredulous. A close friend I saw most days had no idea for months, until I happened to mention it. My oncologist even congratulated me for braving the cold cap, and marvelled at its success until I explained. The only difference between my hair and the system was that the fake hair, as my sons called it, looked considerably better.

It had to be removed and washed every three or four weeks, and occasionally repaired with replacement strands. These visits to Jennifer were if this is not too peculiar a word in such a context the highlight of my chemotherapy experience. The Macmillan Cancer Centre at University College Hospital in London, where I was treated, is an NHS flagship of oncology, and all the staff there work heroically and tirelessly. But they do so under impossibly overstretched conditions that make the kind of emotional support they long to give out of the question. I found it in Jennifers salon instead.

The system cost around 1,600, which will be prohibitively expensive for some. I wish everyone could get it: it bought me something I couldnt put a price on. I always made sure to face the salon wall, never the mirror, while Jennifer removed and worked on the system. I must therefore be one of the few chemotherapy patients to have lost all her hair and never once seen herself bald. That is a mercy for which I will be eternally grateful.

I discovered how it would feel to have others see me when I had the system removed before I underwent surgery. All week in hospital, I took care not to look in a mirror. But as soon as I stepped on to the street wearing a cancer bandana, strangers registered my baldness beneath it and stared with faintly repulsed pity, or quickly edged away. It was rush hour on the train home, and standing room only, but no one took the empty seat beside me. The relief to have the system re-applied after a week was indescribable.

Fasting to feel better

After nine months of cancer treatment, I still have not met one patient or medic who had heard of a hair-replacement system. Why my second piece of advice is not common knowledge either seems, if anything, even more surprising. I would never have come across it had a good friend not suffered from a chronic auto-immune condition, which the NHS treated with a drug for 20 years before deciding it could no longer afford it. An urgent search for alternative treatment strategies led my friend to an American-based Italian professor of gerontology called Dr Valter Longo, who specialises in the medical benefits of fasting. Astonished by his findings, she began to experiment with fasting for herself, and very soon felt better than she had for 20 years. Had I not witnessed this with my own eyes, I might not have paid attention when she told me to read Longos research into the benefits of fasting for chemotherapy patients.

The findings were certainly arresting. They fall into two categories. His early studies conducted on mice found that periods of severe fasting significantly increased the efficacy of chemotherapy. For example, among mice with a highly aggressive type of cancer, 20% of those in which the cancer had fully spread, and 40% with a more limited spread, were completely cured after fasting in conjunction with chemotherapy. In neither case did a single mouse treated with chemotherapy alone survive.

Further studies are ongoing, and human trials are under way. As I am completely unqualified to take a view, it would be absurd of me to wade into the scientific debate. But if I cant give a clinical recommendation, I can at least report my own experience regarding Longos second claim. His trials on humans found that fasting dramatically reduced the side effects of chemotherapy. Starvation conditions, I read, protected the bodys normal cells but not cancer cells from the toxicity. Again, further trials are under way in the US, but when I consulted oncologists at UCH, only one had heard about it. The evidence does look very interesting, she agreed. Until we can be sure it actually works, though, I dont want to tell patients to starve themselves on top of everything else theyre having to endure. But if you want to give it a go, go ahead.

The process Longo recommended sounded daunting, but fairly straightforward; you eat nothing for 72 hours prior to chemo, and for 24 hours afterwards. It doesnt have to be quite that brutal; small quantities of miso soup or steamed green vegetables are permissible. But I suspected that being tantalised by morsels of sustenance might make it harder, so opted for the nothing-but-water approach. I decided to try the first round of chemo without fasting, to find out how bad it would be, and then follow his advice for the second to see if it made any difference. If the whole business turned out to be utter quackery, at worst, all it meant was that I would have spent a few days feeling pointlessly hungry.

Had round one turned out not to be too bad, I probably wouldnt have tried fasting for the second. And for 24 hours following the first infusion, I wondered what all the fuss was about. If anything, I felt a bit of a fraud. There I was in the spare room of a friend, who had packed her family off for the weekend in order to look after me, and I was in no worse shape than she was. On day two, I suggested she might as well go to the gym, while I went for a walk.

Its a good job I followed a bus route. Twenty minutes later I hobbled back on a No 9, and it was a week before I emerged from her spare room to face the world again. What began as a recognisable sensation, like a very bad hangover, soon had me staring lifelessly at the ceiling, slack-jawed and vegetative, wondering how I would ever make it to the bathroom, which was less than six feet from the bed. This made the decision to try eating nothing for 96 hours the next time very easy.

People who fast regularly always say it gets easier after the first 24 hours. Id always assumed they were lying, but it turns out to be true. By the afternoon of day two I began to feel slightly light-headed, but was no longer hungry. The much-fabled starvation high kicked in on day three, and although by day four I was getting excited about the prospect of eating again, if Id had to go another day I would have felt surprisingly sanguine.

By then I was back in my friends spare room, braced for the toxic onslaught. I had come prepared with audio books this time, and went to bed that night assuming it would be days before I left the house again. I waited. And waited. And nothing happened. It was like lying down on the tracks for a train that never came. Eventually I got up, went out shopping, bought some trainers, and caught the train home.

What fasting could not do was spare me the cumulative devastation of chemo. Week by week, as the cycles wore on, I found myself sinking helplessly into a torpor of inertia. Each round stole more of my soul, until by the end and for months afterwards all I could do was watch Jeremy Kyle. But to have been spared the toxic intensity of the immediate aftermath of each round was miraculous, and going without food a tiny price to pay for such an astonishing dividend. I wasnt even tempted to eat. Friends assumed it must have been hellishly hard to live on water for four days, but nothing could have induced me to break each fast. To feel merely dead, as opposed to hideously ill and dead, felt like a lottery win.

Horsepower and tattoos

When chemotherapy ends, it takes at least a month before most patients even begin to feel better, and many more before you feel anything like your old self. There are, however, things you can do to hurry up the return of your old appearance.

Hair usually begins to grow back after about six weeks, but the process is painfully slow. If you want to accelerate it, my advice would be to ignore the ruinously expensive shampoos a Google search will recommend, and buy a brand called ManenTail. As the name suggests, it is actually designed for horses, but it is perfectly safe for human use, and the only product I have found that dramatically increases the pace and quality of regrowth.

For some reason, eyelashes and eyebrows grow back even more slowly. The eyebrow problem can be solved by taking pre-emptive action before they fall out, and having them tattooed. The process is surprisingly painless, and remarkably convincing; like the hair-replacement system, tattooed eyebrows were a happy improvement on my own. One important word of advice: do not wait until yours have fallen out before having them done. The tattooist wont know where your eyebrows normally lie, so you run the risk of ending up with two sets when yours grow back.

To speed up the return of eyelashes, the only product I would recommend is something called Revitalash, which you paint on to the rims of your eyelids once a day, and works. When your eyelashes are a few millimetres long, it is tempting to consider having semi-permanent extensions applied, but this is a bad idea. When they fall out they are in danger of taking your own with them, leaving you back to square one. A safer option are fibre eyelash extensions, made by a company called Cherry Blooms. The application process is just like mascara, if a trifle fiddlier, takes only two minutes, and transforms stumps into normal-looking lashes.

To any reader lucky enough to have never had cancer, none of this advice may sound terribly important. It was only when I got cancer myself that I realised how little I had understood of what friends whod had chemo had been through. When it isnt your own body that has to endure the agonies and indignities, all that really seems to matter is keeping it alive. When it is your own body, you discover how much more there is to care about.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post How to get through chemotherapy: Decca Aitkenhead on cancer treatment appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rusDI4 via IFTTT