#unfortunately social phobia has been extremely bad but maybe it can improve

[nicely-done]

Oh right trying some less intense resolutions:

- play the darn games I bought and never completed!!!!!! Or sometimes played

- mess around w rpg maker. Do Something

- draw looser, don’t obsess over lines so hard dang

- do more pixel art maybe? It’s fun

[lisjonok]

Do the OC thing, all the things, for Baezil. :D

As soon as I saw you sent an ask I knew it’d be ALL THE THINGS for Baezil!!

Behind a cut because this got long (I can ramble).

1: What’s your OC’s biggest insecurity and how would they react if someone pointed it out to them?

Baezil's biggest insecurity is his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- and, to a much lesser extent, his anxiety and paranoid tendencies. He's had a marked improvement in the past decade or so and currently only his spouse is aware that he has this issue and works with him on it.

It's absolutely not something that he likes getting out or being noticed or pointed out by anyone, however. If it is, Baezil goes sort of "silent angry" and partially shuts down or gets pretty short with the person. He'd end all current communication with them and either dismiss them or leave the scene, himself, as smoothly as possible.

This is a lot better than how he was perhaps fifteen to twenty years ago. Baezil was much more prone to emotional outbursts and low-key tantrums. He's worked very hard on his temper.

Unfortunately, it's rare that he'd stop and explain to the offender on what they did to upset him unless they're his spouse or other very close friends or family.

2: If your OC wants to buy a firearm, what it might be for?

Baezil has a rifle and a blaster. Both are for work. He wouldn't otherwise have a weapon.

3: Does your OC behave differently around different people, if so with whom and how?

Absolutely. In public and around most people he doesn't know, Baezil is very formal, damn reserved on personal opinions about anything aside from work, and refrains from showing too many emotions. A small, polite smile is the most one will get. He uses titles only and will correct anyone he doesn't consider a good friend, family, or spouse. He'll only discuss his work and literally nothing else. Baezil probably overcompensates with formalities and politeness because he finds social interaction to be confusing and frightening at the best of times. 100% plants.

Good friends and family get a considerably more relaxed and personable Baezil. He'll smile, will lightly laugh at jokes (even if he doesn't understand the joke, which is nearly always). He'll actually talk about himself/his family. If upset about something, Baezil will still be disinclined to express it and will either push that away temporarily or remove himself from a situation if it's too bad. Maybe, like, 80% plants.

And lastly, a Baezil only his spouse and children see (maybe just his spouse right now, as he had a slightly rocky relationship with his first daughter). He'll ask him to explain jokes to him; even if that "ruins the joke" Baezil would much rather just understand what it was. He relaxes and is much more open with expressing himself, both positively and negatively. Still a lot of plants.

4: Would your OC want to involve themselves in humanitarian work? If yes, then for what? If not, then why not?

Oh, definitely! In the broader sense, his botany project is all about making plant-based medicine and produce more accessable in a variety of difficult climates.

As for immediate relief, Baezil would lend his medical expertise to a situation if they were short on volunteers.

5: How would your OC generally react to someone being verbally abusive towards them for no apparent reason?

Honestly, he would do his best to remove himself from the situation and then agonisingly analyse it for hours or days afterwards to try and figure out how and when he offended the person.

If he can't leave, he'll get defensive and possibly a little aggressive until he can leave.

6: Does your OC have a realistic image of their own intelligence?

Baezil is pretty sure that he's a genius in the realm of botany. And that's it. He believes he's pretty damn inept just about everywhere else.

BTW, not a genius as in egotistical and always correct, but as in he's very knowledgeable and creative within that field, as well as someone who can make errors and is welcome to critique.

7: Does your OC have any irrational phobias?

Not really.

8: How is/was your OC’s relationship with their parents?

Frustrating at the best of times and antagonistic at the worst, mostly in terms of his father who was very controlling and bordering on abusive towards him. His father had recently apologised and they made amends, slowly working towards a better understanding and relationship.

His mother was significantly kinder and more open to Baezil exploring and expressing himself as he preferred but...she, too, didn't understand him too well. Trying to reign her son in always proved to be a fight and she rarely, if ever, spoke up for him when her husband picked on him. So, they both considered Baezil to be a difficult child who has outbursts and rebelled against everything ever.

9: Does your OC feel a pressure to achieve or are they content and calm with doing what they can at the moment?

That was literally all Baezil did until just recently. But, getting older, and marrying Thistles and finally settling down with a permanent home, have helped shift some of his desires from being purely a workaholic to calming down a bit and enjoying other things.

Being promoted to captain and given a science ship with a research team also helped.

10: Does your OC guard their emotions by being tough? If not how would they?

That was Baezil up until maybe his mid-30s. Now he just buries them pretty deep and only lets Thistles see them.

11: How would your OC react to hearing they’re adopted?

His parents would still be his parents since they raised him, obviously, but he would be a little relieved not to be biologically related to his father.

12: What is one of the most primary things your OC feels that is missing from their life?

It used to be family (with children, specifically), but given that he has Thistles now and they're planning children it's something he's excited for and not a thing he's missing.

13: What kind of situations does your OC avoid the most?

Most large social gatherings or events, especially if there are Sith present.

14: If your OC gets into a fight with their best friend, would they wait for their friend to make up with them, or would they try to make up with their friend?

Given that Baezil's best friend is also his husband, I think it'd be a race as to which one of them will make up first. But, Baezil's definitely not the type to wait for apologies; he'd go ahead and do that in nearly every situation because he never believes his reaction is the correct one.

(Honestly they got into a very mild argument once and Baezil apologised for getting upset)

15: Does your OC consider themselves a good person?

Generally, yes.

16: Is your OC good at giving others validation of their feelings and making them feel understood?

Baezil's pretty empathetic and understanding of people who get upset but he doesn't necessarily...understand why people may become upset or react in certain ways to things. He'd definitely try his best to give advice, but in the past this has always turned out to be pretty useless.

17: Does your OC suffer from any mental health issues?

He has diagnosed OCD, for which he had therapy and has worked very hard on making manageable. His anxiety and paranoia go hand in hand with that.

Baezil also suffered from depression for...probably the majority of his life. As that was brought on by outside elements, it's improved significantly in the past few years as those elements have either been resolved or are being resolved.

18: What kind of intrapersonal values does your OC have? (values about their self, what makes them feel like a valid person)

...Uh. He's still working on this.

19: What boosts your OC’s confidence the most?

When Thistles tells him he did a Good and when his botany experiments come back with good results.

20: Does your OC hurt others often unintentionally? If yes, how?

Baezil is always extremely worried that he'll hurt someone as he's definitely done so in the past, either with insensitive comments about aliens or just being very blunt in a situation that had apparently required a more gentle approach.

Hence, one of the many reasons he's very restrained in most social situations.

21: Does your OC hurt others often intentionally? If yes, how?

No... Okay, other than a few fights he intentionally picked in his youth, he doesn't.

22: How does your OC usually show affection? Are they openly romantic or more restricted with their affectionate emotions?

Baezil wants and tries to show affection more openly but he's: A) incredibly inexperienced and is, as a result of that, very shy and somewhat embarrassed, and B) worries that he'll do something Wrong that would hurt or upset his spouse somehow.

It's not all bad, though; he can give Thistles hugs and kisses without internally freaking out.

23: Does your OC tend to hide something about their personality/essence when meeting new people? If yes, what?

Refer to questions 1 and 3!

He absolutely does not, however, hide that he's a giant botanist nerd who cares about plants more than he cares about most people.

24: How would your OC react if they got humiliated by someone in a group of people?

Oof. He'd literally flip a table, yell at someone, and leave.

25: How would your OC process the grief caused by the death of a loved one?

Briefly: depression, reclusiveness, and alcohol.

For longer: work, work, work.

26: What is the most intense thing your OC has been battling with?

Honestly, probably trying to understand himself, his identity, and coming to terms with it.

27: Does your OC practise any kind of escapism? If yes, what kind?

Work. So much work. He's much better now, but he used to just work all of the time and would sometimes not even return home to sleep at night.

28: How would your OC react if a bully stole their lunch money in high school?

He would have tried to fight them. He would have also lost.

29: How does your OC behave in the face of a conflict?

Baezil sets out to try to resolve the conflict, taking any possible safe routes before getting more aggressive/

30: What makes your OC defensive quickest?

Saying his work is bad and not giving any evidence of it. Oh boy, would they be in for a lecture.