#unfortunately i wont know cause said issues make me nervous to seek professional help

[plushybread]

just wanted to say hiii~

its nighttime and im bored and started thinking about my life in the past and how much has changed. ppl getting married, having kids, working on their careers, finding themselves.. basically living their lives.

i use to feel left behind and not going foward. i felt like im still a kid unsure of myself and what to do. but now i accepted that all i need to do is live life memorably. enjoy my time here even if im not doing anything important. enjoy my interests and hobbies and take things slow.

right now im rlly into fashion/clothes and i couldnt care less what i do with my life as long as i have swaggg hehe. but since im lowkey poor i cant always afford the latest thing i b eyeing (i wish i was one of those rich girlies from nyc that go to fashion school or something *sigh*). i have small hobbies like collecting stickers, fun art and jewelry from small artist businesses, etc. i remember owning a school planner all of us kids were forced to use had one page dedicated to stickers i recieved or found. so i guess me collecting things isnt new. all i want is pretty things to decorate my life with (i want future generations of my family to know that i was THE material girl).

ppl knew me for being an “artist” and always drawing but honestly, im tired. idk why i feel sooo much fatigue to do things. i get off of work and i just want to rest. and now that i think about it, i rlly have to do this shtick for the rest of my life to survive. work. nooooo!! anyways, i dont rlly draw that much and i’ll only draw if i get a small tiny spark of motivation. when i was younger i intented to b one of those artists that promote their work and sell their art. but making my hobby as a job would prolly not work for me.. so in short, i draw occasionally.

i’ve been living in another state for about 2 yrs now and im glad i did (otherwise i’d be stuck in my hometown even more depressed than i ever was). i’ve met new ppl, experienced fun things and honestly i feel soooo much more confident than ever before!!

so i guess thats the end of my lil diary/update entry hehehe.. nobody is gonna read this lololol. i’ll prolly post here more if i dont feel like annoying my twitter mutuals alot haha. or i might lie and neva post here again! muah!