#unfortunately i forgot all the lyrics when i woke up but it was GOOD

[yellowvixen]

Thinking about the dream I had where I listened to the theme for Sonic x Shadow Generations, and it was a new song by Crush 40 called Dark Matter. I'm manifesting it. I want this dream to come true so badly

[paperbag880]

Jack Sparrow x male reader

Summary: you've reunited with your old friend. Eeeh it didn't go all that well.

Genre: fluff

Warnings: swearing?, a bit of a sexual tension

Not proofread, too lazy

Snoring "Huh- Oh! WOAH!" You woke up from a deep slumber to you being hanged by your legs and arms tied behind your back. You swung gently from side to side as you squirm in your bindings. You looked around yourself. You were on a ship but not your ship. You looked down, towards your feet, as you felt your blood go cold.

Black sails.

"Ah shet..."

Footsteps echoed around you and yet again you looked around yourself, this time with panic written all over your face. You wiggled as you glanced at your restraints. Pirates started to gather around you with their weapons and a bird. There was a way you could get out of this mess but you didn't remember the code word.

Barely? No. Truce! No. Pabble? What? Pe- Pa- Parl- Perl-

"P-PARLEY! Yes, yes, parley, that's the word!" You nodded your head rapidly at one of the crew members with a sheepish smile. They sighed and what you guessed went to call their captain. You stuck out your tongue and wiggled more in your restraints. You could see your legs as the loose went loose.

You laughed to yourself but you forgot about gravity. As you fell to the ground you hit your upper back and groaned in pain. You could hear more footsteps nearing close to you. You sat up and looked ahead. Your eyes locked on a pirate hat. You hummed and looked lower.

"Ah, shet... JAAAAAAAAACK! How's life?" You asked the man in front of you. He didn't seem to be amused or happy to see you really. How lucky were you to know Jack fucking Sparrow on friendly terms, well at least you used to know him that way. You two could have been great friends, the best even if you didn't turn yourself against him.

"Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow." He exclaimed and continued. "What can a sad sack like you offer to me?" He swayed around like he always does. His extravagant movements distracted you for a second. You truly had nothing to offer and he could see it in your eyes. Jack sighed. "You've come crashing onto my ship, drunk, completely wasted, and now you're asking for a parley with nothing to offer. Not to mention you've been like a tick stuck on my back all night." He said and walked towards you.

You felt embarrassed. It's not like you were ashamed you were drunk, no, no, no. It's that your stupid little brain forgot you're no longer a member of the Captain Jack Sparrow's crew and you came crawling to his ship. Jack crouched in front of you and tilted his head at you. Your mouth opened to speak but no words came out. You could at least say sorry.

Your eyes shifted to the ground. Whispers started to indulge in your ears. They weren't nice. Some insults and the normal pirate things. You lowered your head more and expected that you either die onboard or die in the ocean. Either of which you didn't want.

"Men!" You could hear Jack's voice exclaiming loudly. "Take him, make him do the dirtiest jobs we have. Don't go easy on him." You could hear the crew chuckle. You willingly stood up but your eyes were still cast downwards. "Since the traitor is here we might as well make a good use of him." Those were the last words you heard of him that day. You weren't blaming him for his harsh words and actions. You surely deserved it.

For the past few days, you've been doing all the dirty work. You haven't had a proper meal for days and your bed has been a wooden floor in the cell room. You're filthier than always which ticked you more than how much work did you have to do.

You hummed to yourself to not lose the bit of your sanity you had left, which is not much. You used to hear Jack sing this song when he got drunk. Unfortunately, you don't remember the lyrics. You continued humming as you heard the old door creak. You sighed and looked to the door.

"Captain?" You said confused. "What do I owe you for your visit?" Your eyes followed him as he sluggishly walked towards you. He had a plate in one hand and a bottle of rum in the other.

Once he was right in front of your cell he spoke. "Rum?" You weren't sure if it was a trick question or not but you were too exhausted to say no. And I mean, it's rum, of course, you'd say yes. He sets the plate and bottle on the ground and went to grab a barrel to sit on he pushed the plate closer to you, with his boot, but grabbed the rum bottle away from you. "Eat first."

You didn't protest as the food was fresh and it smelled delectable. As you ate Jack drank the rum and observed you. His first thoughts were, 'Damn he's filthy. And the smell.' But he continued drinking nonetheless. He wasn't a flower himself.

You finished your meal and were finally satisfied when it comes to hunger. Thirst was another thing. You thanked Jack who hummed and passed you the bottle. You drank it of course. The burning feeling in your throat was everything. You licked your lips once you pulled the bottle away from them. You stretched your hand towards Jack so he takes the bottle. He took it and drank as well.

You sighed thru your nose. "Captain, may I...explain myself?" The words were heavy in your throat. He stayed silent as he drank. Once he stopped he made eye contact with you. "And what could you be explaining to me?" He snarled but it was still playful.

You looked away for a sec but looked at him right after. "The time when I switched sides so suddenly?" You tilted your head a little. He turned and gestured for you to continue. "I knew Barbossa would agree to your parley so I switched sides." It was a very weird reason to switch sides, basically, betray everyone and you knew it. You saw the confusion written all over Jack's face so you contained, cus, you weren't finished. "You know how Barbossa is. He wouldn't go straight to the Pearl, so I decided to hold them up so you can fight him for as long as you need without intruders." You told your story and waited if he was gonna say sum.

"Well, why didn't you come and explain yourself after the curse was lifted?" He asked sincerely. You've been cursed that day too so you could go with Barbossa's crew on the Dauntless to kill some British virgins. Which you didn't.

"I did run away to come explain myself but... Well, I knew you would be mad and I also saw Pearl, as she swam away... So I knew you left." You looked at your hands as they played with your dirty shirt. You heard a small chuckle. Once you looked back at Jack he was drinking the rum again.

"The Pearl left me behind as well." He said as he swallowed. "I've been brought to Port Royal again to be hanged. Savvy?" He turned the bottle upside down and shook it. You didn't know he was supposed to be hanged or that the Pearl sailed without him. To say you were shocked was an understatement.

"Huh..."

...

"Turner?"

"Turner..."

You chuckled. The kid was a menace. You rested your head on the wooden planks of the Pearl and closed your eyes. Jack stayed there with you for a bit before you heard, "Well!" and a shuffle of keys. You heard a lock being opened so you opened your eyes. The door to your cell was open. "This-" he rapidly gestured to your form with his hand. "-is seriously bagging for a bath."

You let out a wholehearted chuckle and slowly got up. "Aye, aye Captain!" Jack set the barrel, he sat on, back where it was and escorted you out. Once the light blind you, you realized the ship was sailed in Tortuga. You hummed. When did they come here? Jack led you thru the streets to a tavern where he bought a room with a bathroom.

Once in the room, he shoved you into the bathroom and locked you from the outside in. You were baffled, to say the least. "Now do your deeds! Don't drown tho!" You could hear the captain say before the front door closed.

Did he...Did he just leave? He locked you in a bathroom...What will you do after you finish washing?...

You just stood there for a bit, too baffled to move. Once you blinked your trans away you shook your head and started to prepare the water.

Once everything was set you stripped and hopped into the water. You immediately relaxed. Your sore muscles finally loosen up. It was rewarding. You sighed in delight and closed your eyes with a satisfied grin.

You've been just laying there for a while. You were thinking about what made Jack so friendly again. Yes, you may have told him you're a very bad liar but why the sudden change of mind. You needed to ask him right after your bath.

You sank into the water to wet your hair. Not even 10 seconds in the water you've been pulled out. "Bloody hell, I've told you not to drown!" You heard Jack from behind you.

"I was just wetting my hair, captain." You said from under your wet hair. You brought a hand towards your face and flipped your hair behind. Your eyes met Jack's with a confusing expression.

"O-Oh..." He said as he let you go right after. And sat down on a nearby stool. You kept your eyes on him as water dripped down from your hair, down your neck. It was a bit awkward.

"When did you come here?" You said. His eyes moved slowly downwards. He was watching the drops as they slid down back. You caught up to it and looked away. It wasn't unknown for pirates to like other fellow pirates and you couldn't say you didn't fancy Jack.

You grabbed a soap that was near you and scrubbed it into your hair. You could feel Jack's eyes on you. It made you nervous and you almost dropped your soap. You silently cursed to yourself, "Need help over there?" but apparently Jack heard it. You thought about his offer but decline him with a quick, "Uh...no?"

You then remembered he didn't answer your question so you asked again. "Oh, not long ago. I walked on you when you went underwater. Savvy?"

"Why tho?" You looked at him suspiciously.

He blinked a lot before answering you. "Uuuuuh, well you've been here for quite a long time. Wanted to check on ya." You let out a small oh.

Your hands went to scrub your back. It was very difficult as your back muscles were sore and you couldn't reach that far. You sighed.

"May I?" You didn't even notice when Jack neared you. His hand was next to your head, asking for the soap. You gave him the soap. There was no reason to decline. He grabbed it and lightly touched your back with his other hand before setting the soap onto your skin.

He made circles around your neck and shoulders. You felt as your shoulders fell and the tension slowly disappeared. You let Jack do his magic. His fingers dug into your flesh and you winced a little. It didn't hurt but it was strange. In the end, you almost fell asleep which Jack noticed and chuckled.

"Don't fall asleep on me now." He worked on your trapezius muscles. His hands slowly pulled you against the wall of the bathtub as throughout his help with washing your back you slowly leaned closer to the water with your face.

You sighed in delight. "Thank you, captain, but why?" You could feel as Jack halted for a sec but his hands stayed firm on your shoulders. He kept his movements going.

"I've missed you quite a lot..." His fingers moved around your spine. "I dare to say I was heartbroken when you switched sides." His voice was, as always, groggy but there was kindness and honesty in it. "I thought I lost you for forever..." He stopped and exhaled loudly. "You did give me a sign, before you've taken that cursed coin, didn't you?"

You hummed. "Yes, I did. I didn't think you would understand it tho so I didn't give much thought to it after." You answered honestly. Your sign was very faint, almost unnoticeable. "I knew you'd hate me after either way."

After a silence, there was a loud splash in front of you. A lot of the water was spilled on the floor. You looked towards the cause, frighten. There inform of you stood captain Jack Sparrow. In the tub. Hovering above you. His hands were on either side of the tub propping himself up.

"Yet here we are, love." He said with his eyes looking into yours. "The compass." He brought his black compass to view and opened it. "It's pointing at you. Savvy?" He moved to compass to one side than the other. The dial always pointed at you. "Do you remember how this little thing works?"

Your eyes followed Jack's hand. You nodded. "It points to what you deeply desire."

"That's correct!" He moved away from you and sat on the other side of the tub with a heavy sigh. He was looking at his compass. "I was wondering why did it bring me to that town." He looked at you. "And when you came crashing to my ship, the compass kept pointing at you." He nudged his hand towards you.

"You desire me or something I own?" You question him. That compass is strange and you don't really trust it.

"That's why we're here." He put away the compass and leaned on his knees. "You're naked. Savvy?" He tilted his head. His little smirk and the mischief in his eyes were enough to bring heat to your face.

"Why would you desire me?" You sat up in the tub and leaned a bit forward with your eyebrows slightly frowned. "I did betray you."

He laughed and leaned more forward. "But you didn't." His eyes tried from yours to your lips. "Did you, love?" You slowly leaned to his face.

It was a mare second. Your lips caught his and you both were in a heated make out. After some time you two stopped. Jack smirked at you and hummed. "I can get used to this."

[literallymitch]

𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 || 𝐃.𝐃

requested: no

summary: the first part of the reputation series in which the reader first meets Damiano

pairing: Damiano David x famous!reader

word count: 2k

what kind of content: fluff

warnings: drinking

passages written in cursive are flashbacks

some of the lyrics were changed so they would fit the story

Please don’t steal any of my conten and release it elsewhere. Also all of this is fiction. I don’t know these people in real life nor do I know how they act

a/n I I hope you all enjoy this one, as much as I do. I’m so excited about this series jdhidcuheu. What song do you guys think is next? As always please keep in mind english is not my first language. I’m super happy about feedback!!

With a buzzing head I woke up. I shouldn’t have drank so much yesterday. Feeling the after effects of the alcohol I consumed yesterday, I looked at the sleeping figure next to me. A gorgeous man with brown hair and tattoos that fitted him perfectly. I smiled to myself, knowing he was the reason I probably drank a little too much yesterday. There was no way I would have found the courage to actually talk to him otherwise. He looked like an angel sleeping so peacefully in my queen-sized bed. As I looked at his sleeping figure, an idea popped into my head. I grabbed my notebook and went to my balcony that was connected to my bedroom. Looking at him one last time through the huge window in front of me. I opened my notebook and started writing down some lyrics in memory of last night.

You should take it as a compliment That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk You should think about the consequence Of your magnetic field being a little too strong

“We wanted to start working on our next album soon too.” , the gorgeous man in front of me said with an Italian accent.

After a few drinks I was finally talking to him. I was too busy taking in his beauty that I didn’t really listen  to what he just said to me. All of a sudden, I started giggling.

“You know, your accent is so funny, I love it. Like the way you pronounce some words? Hilarious”.

“Thanks, I guess?”

I cringed a little thinking about this specific moment. If he knew the only reason I was making a fool out of myself in front of him was his magnificent appearance, he would take it as a compliment. He probably already knew that was the reason. How could he not know? It’s not like he has never looked in a mirror. Also, there is no way, I am the first person that had to suffer from his magnetic self. By now he should know what his whole existence is doing to people.

And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us He's in the club doing, I don't know what You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be here as well?” the beautiful Italian boy asked.

“My wha- Oh you mean Andre? He isn’t my boyfriend. The media just made that up after we went out once, and I was caught at two of his games. We haven't talked in months. He’s probably at some club right now, annoying some poor girl.”

At that moment I thought I’ve seen a small smile appear on his face. He then just turned to the bar tender, ordering another beer. God, how could he just keep his cool like this the whole night. Usually it was the other way around. People would stand drunk in front of me trying to make a move, while I just stood there unimpressed. He really made me feel like an insecure fourteen-year-old girl again, and I hated him for that

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine You've ruined my life, by not being mine

“The sunset is really beautiful today” Damiano stated sipping on his glass of Whisky. I nodded in agreement while I ate a grape from the vine that was placed on the bar counter.

The bar were at was on top of a small mountain somewhere outside Rome. From there we had a great view over the whole city of Rome and how the sun met the city's skyline. It really was beautiful, still it was nothing compared to him. I wish he would’ve been mine, so I could’ve rested my head on his shoulder right there and then, but he wasn’t.

You should take it as a compliment That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you)

“I’m glad we’re finally getting a chance to talk after you talked to, well, everyone else at this bar except me.”, the handsome man called me out while he sat down next to me.”

Feeling a bit caught, I just gave him an awkward smile. I tried to come up  with a reasonable excuse, that was less embarrassing than ‘Yeah sorry about that, I was just too scared to talk to you because you look like you’re straight out of my dreams.’

“I’m really sorry about that! It was just that every time I was done talking to someone, the next person already stood behind me wanting to talk.” I lied.

“It’s alright. I guess that's what happens when you’re a world-famous singer.”

And you should think about the consequence Of you touching my hand in the darkened room

It was now 11pm and the sky outside was completely dark. The lights in the bar were also dimmed a bit, creating a cozy atmosphere. Damiano and I were in the middle of our conversation, as he accidentally grabbed my hand, that was resting on the bar counter, instead of his drink. It felt like an electric shock. An electric shock that woke up the butterflies inside my body. My hand started to tingle, and I’m pretty I was full on blushing now.

If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her But if you're single that's honestly worse 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

“So do you have a girlfriend?”,  at this point I was so drunk I didn’t even care how this question came across anymore.

I was pretty sure he in fact had a girlfriend, I mean how could he not looking like this?

“No I don’t.” Thank god. “It’s kinda hard building up a real relationship with someone when you're always busy, but I guess you can tell me a thing or two about it too.”

Oh, yes, I could. Still I would drop everything I was doing right now,  just to be with him.

Chocolate brown eyes looking in mine I feel like I might sink and drown and die

Just as my confidence made a small comeback, I made the mistake to directly look into Damianos beautiful brown eyes. There really wasn’t a single thing about him that wasn’t extremely beautiful. I started to feel a bit dizzy as a wave of heat rushed through my body. What is this man doing to me?

Just thinking about it again made my heart beat three times faster.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

For like the million time this evening, he made a laugh. Great, so he wasn’t just incredibly handsome, but also extremely funny. I didn’t realize how happy I was in his presence until I remembered he wasn’t mine. Suddenly I felt kind of sad, thinking about how I maybe would never see him again after tonight. I just wanted to grab his hand and run away with him. Somewhere I could be alone with him. Somewhere he would be only mine.

Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats Alone, unless you wanna come along

I looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall behind the bar tender. I was shocked when I realized it was already midnight. There was no way we’ve been talking for like three hours now. I scanned the room for my friends, I went here with in the first place.

“Looking for someone specific?” Damiano asked, now also looking in the direction I was looking in.

“Just my friends, but it seems like they already went home. I’ll check if they texted me” I picked up my phone, checking if I had a message from my friends.

‘Hi babe, we already went home, we were kinda tired. Have fun talking to handsome stranger. You better tell us everything tomorrow ;)’

“Did they text you?”

“Yes, my friend texted me that they already went home. Guess I’ll have to go home alone then. At least my cats are waiting for me.” I stood up and tried to make my way over to the wardrobe to get my coat. Unfortunately I forgot how drunk I actually and almost tripped as I tried to walk. Alcohol and heels really are not a good combo. Thankfully Damiano grabbed my arm helping me to stabilize myself.

“You’re sure, you’ll make it home alone?”

“Yes, I am a big girl. Unless you wanna come along.” I said with a cheeky grin on my face.

Damiano left out a soft chuckle. He paid for our drinks and then accompanied me on my way back home.

“It’s already pretty late, if you want to, you can stay over.” I told him after he brought me up to my bedroom.

“That would be nice, thanks.”

After I got myself ready for bed, I basically fell into my cozy bed, cuddling myself up in my soft sheet.

“You mind telling me where your guestroom is before falling asleep?” the Italian boy asked with an amused look on his face.

“Mmh, I don’t know. Just sleep here, it's fine.” I answered him, already half asleep.

After that, I probably fell asleep, since I don’t remember anything else that happened.

You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face (to your face) 'Cause look at your face

“Good morning.” I heard a raspy voice say.

I looked up from my notebook and came face to face with Damiano gorgeous figure. His hair was messy, and he still looked a bit sleepy. Since he just wore a pair of boxer shorts, I could finally see all the tattoos that covered his upper body. All of a sudden I felt the same way as I did last night when I saw him for the first time. The words were stuck in my throat and I felt the anxiety build up in my body. How does he manage to make me feel this way by just existing?

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” I somehow managed to say.

“Yes I did thank you. What are you doing?” he asked me curiously as he sat down on the garden chair next to me.

“I’m just writing a song. The idea came to mind when I woke up.”

“Not gonna lie, it’s pretty impressive that you’re able to write a song now after you could barely walk yesterday.” a small laugh left his mouth. “Can I see it?”

“No, it’s kinda awful. I’m to hungover to write something good now. I just wanted to write the idea down.” I lied,  I actually really liked the stuff I wrote so far, but he would probably think I’m a freak when he found out I wrote a song about after knowing him for a day.

“Can you at least tell me what it is about?”

“So you can steal my brilliant idea? No, thanks.” we both started laughing. “I can offer you breakfast though”

“I’m fine with that too” he said flashing me his beautiful smile

And I'm so furious At you for making me feel this way But what can I say? You're gorgeous

We were now sitting on my roof garden eating breakfast. Damiano told me some things about his life and what interests he had. As he did, so I looked at him in awe. I really started crushing on him as he continued to talked about his last tour with a huge smile on his face. I hated it that I was practically on my knees for him already, but how could I not? He’s perfect.

“I could really get used to this, you know?” he said out of nowhere.

“Me too.” I responded, not really questioning what he meant.

I also didn’t care as long as it involved us spending time together. I would make him mine no matter what.

[cutekitten6]

My thoughts on The Letter For The King (netflix)

this will be structured in three parts: what i liked, what i disliked, what could be improved. Warning: CONTAINS SPOILERS

What I liked

Our main character, Tiuri, is the best protagonist. He has had a difficult background and has a little bit of an identity struggle, but through his journey he becomes more and more clear in how he defines himself. He is so sweet and kind and only wants to do the right thing.

That magic is established as a purely Eviellen thing (aka a part of the black culturof the show). It’s not alluded to, it’s merely a fact.

Diversity. I love Iona, our asian girl, Tiuri, our black boy, and Jussoldo, our resident gay couple. None of it felt forced nor was it villainsed. They simply were.

Queen Alianor being queen without any question. She inherited the throne from her father and it is hers. She was inquisitive and charming, and quite daring romantically.

The chase scene in that very clearly Lord of the Rings-type field. It was not only beautiful but thrilling.

Magic horse. Or, not really magic but a damn smart horse

Arman giving Tiuri his peptalk about how Tiuri is a good person and it doesn’t matter if he’s not the Chosen One, what matters is that he is a good person and actively does good deeds.

Jussipo and Foldo’s campfire talk and kiss, and the implication that they did not sleep at all but talked all throughout the night. Their faces with Piak woke up were hilarious.

Iona and Jaro’s relationship from “I fucking hate you” to “I still fucking hate you but fuck if anything happens to you I will feel guilty.” Very fun. It’s like if the Hound and Arya liked each other from the beginning.

What I disliked

Lavinia pt 1. She was interesting at first, but when they were establishing that her town is full of selfish people and people who will weasel their way for money, it just ruined her. She was so selfish, so money oriented, and just so opposite to Tiuri that it really irked me. Tbf she does improve the more she cares for Tiuri, but still.

Lavinia pt 2. I did not like that she was actually the Chosen One. It makes absolutely no sense for her to be the magical savior of prophecy; not when magic was established as purely Eviellen. There was no explanation as to how or why she has powers, unlike for Tiuri.

Bury your gays. This has been shouted from the roof tops in this fandom already, but wow was it truly an unnecessary death. Not only did a gay boy die, but Lavinia (who, in literally the episode before, used HEALING MAGIC to save Tiuri) did absolutely nothing to try and save him. She only watched as he died. -10/10.

The climactic face off between hero(es) and villain was SO FUCKING LAME. They are just staring at each other, using their “powers” but like???? LAMELY. It seemed like they were trying to mimic Aang vs Ozai’s final fight with the darkness and the light fighting, but my god was so so lame. The music, unfortunately, was not as strong in that moment either.

What could be improved

I think 6 episodes were not enough. There were too many things that were unexplained or needed time to develop. 8 episodes could have been ideal.

First, Iona’s betrayal. It felt like it came out of nowhere, or at least out of very petty spite. She decides to call up the authorities because, what? Arman forgot she was an orphan? Nah nah nah, I need more seeds to be sown to believe it. Sure there was what Jaro said to her after the avalanche, but even then she has the same level of “i hate all of you” as before their quest started. Instead we should have seen her get more and more fed up with the group, or feeling more like an outsider.

Second, what the hell did Viridian do to Alianor??? He turns her eyes black and we see absolutely nothing. The next we see her she’s completely fine? Um, no. Either 1. show us what conversation went down between him and her, or 2. give us a small clip of her alone where her eyes turn black again, to make it clear she’s still under his influence.

Third, Piak should have died instead of Jussipo. Tumblr user @thylovelylionheart wrote about this and I agree 100%. You can find it here. Not only does it make sense, but it also brings a clear flashback to when Jussipo/Piak said that their parents would kill Jussipo if Piak was hurt. Parallel that, not Jussipo’s lyric about their[Jussoldo’s] love being carried to the grave smh.

Tiuri should still have magic. Not only is he a shaman’s son, but his mother knew that he was destined for something large. In the last scene we see her in, standing up on the stands as Tiuri is knighted, she looks unhappy. Why? Also the bird flock??? it needs a bit more explaining.

Having more episodes would then invest us with Tiuri’s mother. Alianor said she would still protect her even after she went to the summit. But then we never see Tiuri’s mother in danger?? It would have brought more stakes to the journey, at least for the audience, to know that Tiuri’s last life line could be hurt, even if he didn’t know.

Heck, we could spend an episode with everyone separated again. Lavinia goes off to find her road. It would give us more time to settle for the idea of Lavinia being the Chosen One, since the reveal would still be ep 5. We could have her be alone and meet someone who, idk, shows her the light (haha). Think Toph and Iroh. She’s still selfish but cares for Tuiri, but is not wired to be a savior. So she gets help from, let’s say the Father Monk from the mountains, who helps her prioritise that even if she doesn’t want to save the world, saving one person [Tiuri] would be enough. And she turns up at the palace FOR Tiuri, not because she suddenly gained morals. it makes more sense in terms of how her character development played out.

The final episode should have been a final battle. That’s it.

Overall: The Letter For The King is a meh show. It’s gorgeous and the first 4 episodes are thrilling and exciting. But the show drops the ball in eps 5 and 6 in a way that really ruins the fun you’ve had. Should you watch it? Maybe.

[robinrunsfiction]

A Long Way Home - Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!

As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.

It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.

Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.

Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.

Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.

Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story.  He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"

‘Where are you?’

The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.

‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’

‘Wanna hang out in my room?’

(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.

‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.

“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.

"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.

"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"

"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."

“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.

"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.

(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”

"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."

"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."

Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."

"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.

She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."

"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.

"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.

"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.

"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.

Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”

She nodded. “Ok, fine.”

~

The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.

‘Ok, you can come back now’

‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’

‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’

She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’

“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.

“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”

“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.

"I'd love that," he replied softly.

"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.

He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.

Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.

~

From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.

“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.

“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.

“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”

“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.

The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.

~

“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."

“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.

"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.

"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."

"What?! Why?"

"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.

(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.

Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”

“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

“Anytime.”

She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.

~

Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.

"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.

"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."

"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."

"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.

"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.

"Yea, that was something else.”

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."

"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.

"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."

Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."

"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.

"Remember what got you through back then?"

A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.

That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”

The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”

The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.

“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.

I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?

The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.

After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.

"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.

(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.

“Not him.”

"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.

“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"

"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"

"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent  nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."

"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"

“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"

"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.

"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.

Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"

(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."

~

The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near  the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.

(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.

She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.

As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?

That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.

As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.

Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.

"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"

"Liam told me.”

"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.

"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.

“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”

(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”

“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.

“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.

“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”

His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"

"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.

Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.

When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.

“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.

They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.

“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.

“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.

“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.

“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.

When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”

(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.

“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.

“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.

“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.

“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.

“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.

“We’re together,” she blushed.

“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.

“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.

When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.

“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.

[saylors-universe]

All Hands on Deck, Rowanʻs POV 4

Rowaelin Cruise Vacation AU

Masterlist here

Word count: 5378

[This is an interactive story! I will include Authorʻs Notes throughout the chapters to inform you when to start a particular song that you can find here in the All Hands on Deck playlist (Also can be found on the masterlist). For the best experience, listen with headphones, AND FOLLOW ALONG WITH THE STORY. Please try to use your imagination when listening and reading - live through the words. Have fun :) - Saylor]

-

Day 3 - ANIELLE PORT - “Welcome to Anielle! The Ellywe Voyager will depart tomorrow at noon, so make sure you are back onboard!”

“Thatʻs what I like to see Whitethorn,” Connal motivates from above, spotting Rowan on the bench press, his hands closely following the bar up and down.

     Rowan forces a grunt, gritting his teeth as he pushes out one more rep, the 400 lbs tapping his sternum and returning upward. Exhausted from their early morning workout, Rowan returns the support bar to the rack and sits up, grabbing his nearby gym towel, wiping away the sweat on his face.

     Within their group, Fenrys and Lorcan were the original gym rats that then converted Connal and him to workout with them. Physical exercise was Rowanʻs outlet for his anger after the passing of Lyria. He would work himself until he passed out, needing to release all his pent up fury with the world, the universe, and himself. He eventually found a more creative outlet through his music and writing, but in the time being, he got very fit, his muscles defined and toned. The Cadreʻs fan base would often get into toxic arguments of which man was the pretty-boy of the group, each working on their looks. Usually the debate was between either Fenrys or Rowan, both the main faces of the band who earned the most attention.

     Connal switches spots with Rowan, beginning his turn with the bench press. Rowan spots him but Connal can tell his mind is elsewhere. Lorcan and Fenrys, the former doing reps with dumbbells and the latter on the pull up bar, both notice Rowanʻs daydreaming. 

“So, what do you guys think of the girls?” Fenrys asks, mid chin-up. “Elideʻs a lot quieter than I pictured, she must be freaky in bed, huh Lor.”

“Watch it asshole,” Lorcan sneers, defending his fiance.

“The brunette one is really pretty, Lysandra I think is her name,” Connal inputs.

“Pretty and spoken for Iʻm afraid, and not by us unfortunately,” Fenrys shares how he learned that the hard way when Aedion nearly decked him for flirting with her. 

     Lorcan and Rowan, the only seemingly smart ones of the group, remain silent, not wishing to participate in their review. Fenrys and Connal both whisper when covering Manon, as if mentioning her would summon something evil, both sharing how they are completely intimidated and scared of her. Rightfully so, Rowan thought, she seems like the confident, sophisticated boss woman that she is, who couldnʻt give a fuck about either of them. Then they got to Aelin.

“The blonde one though. Wow. Sheʻs-” Fenrysʻ eyes widen as he talks about her, like a kid in a candy store.

“Aelin.” Lorcan cuts, “Her name is Aelin, you ass.”

Lorcan defending Aelin?

“Aelin, ah even her name is beautiful.”

“Hmm, what do you think Rowan? I mean you two are high school sweethearts after all,” Lorcan reveals, setting down his dumbbells.

There it was. He was waiting for Lorcan to bring up their past, wondering if he completely forgot about their history. He wouldnʻt have been the only one, Aelin obviously remembered who he was, but it didnʻt seem like she remembered what they were? From their conversations, he gathered that she remembered him from high school, possibly remembered that they dated. Does she remember that we were in love once? Does she remember any of our moments?

“What?” Fenrys and Connalʻs surprised looks and unison question distract Rowan from his thought. 

“Rough break up,” Lorcan answers for him. If only he knew. The breakup that utterly and completely destroyed him. He hates to compare it, but it was more devastating than Lyriaʻs death. God thatʻs so fucked up. Yeah he was heartbroken from losing his girlfriend in the accident, but breaking up with Aelin... losing her... that shattered his heart, lit all the pieces on fire, and trampled them to smithereens. 

     In a sense, Lyria was a rebound. They had gotten together really early in his freshman year at Orynth University, right after the breakup. Aelin pushed him away, but he also let her, he left. He was just as much to blame. Lyria was there to distract him from his sorrow, to help him get through school. Along the way, they found love, but not the same kind of love he had with Aelin. Lyria deserved so much better, he scolds himself and taps out with Fenrys to spot Connal, giving an excuse that he had to go.

“Yeah me too boys, Elide an I have an appointment,” Lorcan states.

“A dick appointment Salvaterre?” Fenrys snickers.

“A massage appointment you fucking prick,”

“Oh yeah Iʻm sure, enjoy that massage Lo,” Fenrys banters with air quotes around -massage.

Fenrys gets whacked up the head, and Rowan and Lorcan leave the Moonbeams to finish their workout.

     Expended from the physical excursion, Rowan opts to clean up in his room with a cold shower, and also use his music outlet to further release his emotional turmoil. With his platinum locks still dripping water, he sits on his bed against the headboard, guitar in hand, working out a tune that came to him in the shower. 

     He writes down some chords on a notepad laying on the nightstand. Lyrics. It needs lyrics. The Cadreʻs best songs have always come from his personal situations, when he found need to release his emotions and feelings through music. His best songs however, those are the oneʻs he wrote with Aelin. 

     He closes his eyes to relive the memory of the first song they wrote together.

    Sophomore year, Aelin had just transferred into the school and he immediately fell in love with her the moment he saw her out in the campus parking lot. He rushed ahead to hold open the building door for her.

“Hello,” HOLY WOW. Those eyes, she has the most spectacular turquoise eyes with a ring of gold. Magnificent.

 “Hi,” even her voice is perfect.

“Rowan,” he introduced himself, offering his hand just as she got to the entrance. “Welcome to Terrasen High...”

“Aelin,” she takes his handshake, breathing in his pine snow musk, the corner of her lips curling up into a smile. 

Oh no, he thought to himself, sheʻs it. Sheʻs my one, He claims as she takes a part of his heart with that smile. That smile, I would give anything, do anything to see that smile for the rest of my life. He was in such deep, unending shit.

     Weeks go by within their friendship and he racks up the nerve to make a move. “Finally,” she responds, and he internally cursed himself for taking so long. Before he knows it, she became his family, and he hers. The two lovebirds composed a song of their meeting, and of being deeply infatuated with each other. Sitting on his bed, he strums and they sing.

[A.N.] Play “Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran)” by Taylor Swift now, follow along, and let your imagination do the work. {Keep in mind this is high school Rowan and Aelin so they should sound different, younger} Find playlist here.

Rowan:       “You good to go?”

-    He getʻs the thumbs up from his muse and plays.    -

Aelin:     ALL I KNEW THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE

               IS I KNOW SOMETHING NOW, KNOW SOMETHING NOW

              I DIDNʻT BEFORE

               AND ALL IʻVE SEEN SINCE EIGHTEEN HOURS AGO

               IS GREEN EYES AND FRECKLES AND YOUR SMILE

               IN THE BACK OF MY MIND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE

               I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER

               KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

              I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER

              KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

Aelin & Rowan:     I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER, 

                    KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

               I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

               CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

               AND YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

               ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

               EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

               ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

               YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

               ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

               IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Rowan:     AND ALL MY WALLS STOOD TALL, PAINTED BLUE

               AND IʻLL TAKE THEM DOWN, TAKE THEM DOWN

               AND OPEN UP THE DOOR FOR YOU

Aelin:      AND ALL I FEEL IN MY STOMACH IS BUTTERFLIES

               THE BEAUTIFUL KIND, MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME

                TAKING FLIGHT, MAKING ME FEEL RIGHT

Aelin & Rowan:     I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

                   KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

                  I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

                 KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

               I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

               KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

              I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

              CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

              AND YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

              ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

              EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

              ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

              YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

              ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

              IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

               COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY

               IʻM FEELING LIKE IʻVE MISSED YOU ALL THIS TIME

               AND MEET ME THERE TONIGHT

               AND LET ME KNOW THAT ITʻS NOT ALL IN MY MIND

Aelin:         I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER,

              KNOW YOU BETTER, KNOW YOU BETTER NOW

             I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU, KNOW YOU

Aelin & Rowan:      ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

              YOUR EYES LOOKING LIKE COMING HOME

             ALL I KNOW IS A SIMPLE NAME

             EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

              ALL I KNOW IS YOU HELD THE DOOR

             YOUʻLL BE MINE AND IʻLL BE YOURS

             ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

             IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Aelin:     ALL I KNOW IS WE SAID, “HELLO”

               SO DUST OFF YOUR HIGHEST HOPES

               ALL I KNOW IS POURING RAIN

Aelin & Rowan:      AND EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Aelin:        ALL I KNOW IS A NEWFOUND GRACE

               ALL MY DAYS IʻLL KNOW YOUR FACE

Aelin & Rowan:    ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY

               IS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

     Everything has changed. One of the many ballads theyʻve written together, showcasing their epic love story. Rowan snaps back to his present time, although he wishes he could reminisce a little longer. He collects his thoughts, and tries to put his feelings into words. 

Does she remember any of our time together? He writes down - Do you remember when?

Does she ever think of our music? The songs we wrote? He jots down more lyrics.

Does she remember our love? I was the first to say “I Love You” but my whole world was made the first time she said it back. He notes some more.

Rome. Boom. He had a title and a chorus. 

  DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

  MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

  IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

  I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

  DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

  WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

  YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

  I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

     He worked on the song for two hours, until he felt satisfied with it. Finally completed, he practices it and found it encompasses everything he wished he could say.

     Feeling better, he freshens up in the bathroom and leaves his cabin, not sure exactly where he is going or what he will do, but finally feeling lighter, a stressful weight lifted off his shoulders. The soft chatter from the luminous ballroom catches his attention, sucking him in. 

     He gets stopped by fans who demand he takes pictures with them and sign his autograph on their clothes and skin. They request him to play something for them and he is tempted to comply. He succumbs and takes his throne at the grand piano, playing the first thing that came to mind [A.N.] “Pantomime” by Ben Hammersley if you want to re-experience that.

     His music attracts a larger crowd and he basks in their attention. His gaze sets on the turquoise eyes with the gold ring that will forever be etched within his memory. Aelin. He does the only logical thing he could think of in the moment, and he plays her his song.

With a soft smile from being in her presence, and the sudden anxiety and nerves of performing this new song, he clears his throat and addresses,

“This one, I wrote recently, itʻs called Rome.” I hope you like it Ace, the words go unspoken.

[A.N.] “Rome” by Dermot Kennedy, if you want to be in the moment again.

Rowan:   SO WHATʻS THE PAST FOR?

  IʻLL NEED IT IF LOVE DONʻT LAST LONG

  YOU CAN RUN AROUND INFINITE IN MY HEAD

She does. The thought of her has run through his mind constantly since he saw her that first night.

 OH YOU CANʻT SEE, OH, IʻD STAY IF YOU ASKED ME

He often wonders what his, her, and their life would be like if heʻd stay. If sheʻd let him stay.

  NOW YOU KNOW I CARE,

  BUT ITʻS HARD TO TELL WHEN YOUʻRE SCARED

  BUT LAST NIGHT

  IT HURT ME TO HEAR YOU SAY IT FELT BROKEN

  AND EVEN THOUGH I TRIED

  ALL THESE MEMORIES RUN MY MIND IN SLOW MOTION

Seeing her hurt, physically pains him. When she had shared that her parents had passed, he saw the curtain drop, revealing a distraught woman, still mourning the loss of her parents, faithfully clinging to the joys in her life. For the first time in a long time, he wished, he hoped, that someday he could once again be someone that brought her joy. 

  DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

  MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

  IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

  I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

  DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

  WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

  YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

  I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

Please remember. Remember us. Remember me.

  REMEMBER THAT FIRST LAUGH?

  ALL IT CHANGED ONCE I HAD THAT

  LIKE A HURRICANE, BUT I DONʻT CARE WHERE I LAND

Her beautiful laugh.

  I DONʻT EVER WANNA LEAVE WHEN YOU CRY

  I KNOW I GIVE YOU REASONS TO HIDE

  I NEED YOU TO STAY BY MY SIDE

  FIRST SHOOTINʻ STAR THAT YOU EVER SAW

  WE WERE RIGHT ON OUR FEET THOUGH, RIGHT?

  OPENING THE CAR DOOR FOR LIGHT

  I REALLY THOUGHT IʻD LOSE YOU THAT TIME

Please, I canʻt lose you again.

- Their eyes lock onto one another and for a few brief moments it is only them. Just him and her. Like how it should have been.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

MIDNIGHT DRIVES WHEN YOUʻD SING

IʻD PLAY YOU SONGS YOU WERE IN?

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

WITH ROME BELOW US THAT DAY

YOU SAID, “I WISH WE COULD STAY”

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN

 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN, OH

 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN, OH

 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN

  OOH, AH

  OOH, OOH

Silver lines his eyes as he bares his soul out for her. The audience praises him in an applause, but his concern is with the her. Like an open book, he reads her confused expression, praying that the message translated correctly, pleading that he would receive some reciprocation, any small sign, proof of their bond. Before he can say anything else, she runs away, dragging her friend off with her.

It was her turn to leave. And like the heartbroken boy he was years ago, he got the message, loud and clear. 

He tries not to overthink it, but the darkness in his mind persists the notion that they had become not friends, not enemies, just strangers with memories.

Night 3 - ANIELLE PORT - “Movie Night: ʻBeauty and the Beastʻ Tonight on the Lido deck at 8:30pm, Come join us!”

     Somewhat distraught, Rowan seeks out the company of his brothers. He was unsuccessful in determining the location of Lorcan, but ends up finding the twins in the club, hogging the karaoke machine and hitting on the bartender. 

     He takes a seat at the bar next to Fenrys, smooth talking his way into some free shots from the poor woman, her name tag reading: Ansel. She laughs at something he said, giving him all her attention. His brother was center stage, belting his heart out to “Killer Queen”. 

Rowan asks for a water and sits in solemn silence, lost in his thoughts. 

     He could sense something was wrong. Everything was going so right with his life, he should have expected it, prepared for the other shoe to drop. “Hey you wanna go outside to talk?” He initiated it, feeling her need to get something off her chest. His whole world revolved around this girl, whatever it was, they would work through it, they had to.

They sat on the porch bench swing, facing each other when she began to cry. Oh no, Oh gods no. What did I do? Please, I hate seeing her upset, what can I do, what needs to be done, I will do it.

“Are you going to break up with me?” 

A sharp punching pain hit his gut, “What. No. Never.” He runs a hand through her hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear so he could properly see her beautiful face. “Fireheart, talk to me, whatʻs wrong?”

“I- I didnʻt- I didnʻt get in Ro,” she manages to say through sniffling.

School. She had been torn up from the news of being rejected from Orynth University. Yes, they had talked about attending school together and starting a life, but the moment he met her, all his plans flew out the window. The moment he heard her laugh, the moment he saw the fire in her eyes, his world shifted, it gravitated around her.

“I donʻt care,” he consoles her, rubbing small circles along her arm and back, holding her close, “Iʻll figure something else out, I could take a leap year, find a job in town, or I could apply to TCC or wherever you want to go, or- or we could even get that Volkswagon van youʻve had your eye on, and weʻll go roadtripping, I know youʻve always wanted to do that,”

He felt her tense beneath his touch.

“No,”

“Okay we could-”

“No Rowan. Youʻre going to OU.”

“Ace I donʻt -”

“You need to go. You canʻt pass up this opportunity, thereʻs so much to learn, so much to grow fr-,”

“I donʻt want to grow up if itʻs not with you”

She faces him, her sad eyes welling, cupping his face in her hands, and he fights the tears swelling at his eyes,

“Aelin please donʻt,” he cries, his voice cracking in the whisper, a single tear running down his cheek.

“I love you Rowan Whitethorn,” she stares deeply in his wet eyes, “with all of my being. And because I love you with all that I am, I canʻt have you stay here.”

He presses his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, tears streaming down, and breathes the scent of her in.

“To whatever end.” 

They both sniffle, wiping away each others tears as they take turns bawling, “You are going to live an extraordinary life Rowan Whitethorn. You will learn all that you can, grow into an honorable man, a perfect husband,” Please donʻt do this, “If we are destined to be together, life will put us together again.”

He could tell that this pained her just as much as it did him. If it hurts us both, why should we have to endure it, spare us the pain, donʻt do this. The things that are really worth holding on to, you would not have to let go. But maybe the true test is letting go. Maybe, if given the opportunity to grow and expand their capacities for love, they would be molded into their destined matches. The idea of handing their future together to the hands of fate, troubled him. When have the fates, the Gods, destiny, ever been kind of them. 

But this is what she wanted. And he was not about to disobey her, even if it kills him, if it rips his heart out of his chest, staying with her while she pushed him away. 

He couldnʻt recall when they had finished crying that night, he couldnʻt even remember sleeping that night, or many nights after. No, ever since their breakup, he remained empty. Emotionally dormant and unavailable.

Somehow, he convinced her to drop him off at the airport, However painful, he had to try one last time to change her mind.

“Goodbye Rowan,” she reaches up on her tippy toes to place a soft kiss on his cheek. His heart races, as she comes down, Rowan zones into only her, the rest of the world disappears.

“This is not the end,” he says calmly, “This is not goodbye. We will find each other again, I promise,” he vows, bending down, sweeping her into a slight dip, claiming her lips in a cry, searching for the cure to their plagued situations. Her core warms, and he commits every detail of her to memory. To whatever end.

     Eight years later, a college dropout, adult loser, recovering alcoholic; he had failed her so miserably. Not only had he not finished school, but he found love with someone else. Lyria had been a cruch, she temporarily numbed his pains. Eventually, they had grown to love each other, however it wasnʻt the love he had with Aelin, it didnʻt even compare. 

     His relationship with Lyria was complicated, they often fought more than they talked, their quarrels usually resulting in Rowan at a bar late at night. One unfortunate night, their fight had him escaping to the nearest pub, where she later had to drag him home from once they both had cooled down. But the accident. He had killed her, not intentionally, but situationally. And he was still working through that trauma, that guilt, he was still healing.

     When you lose someone, or experience tragic grief, the instinctual response is to shut down, push people away, and board up the walls. Although it took a while for his brothers to get through his walls, he learned to share his pain, not only from Lyriaʻs passing, but also the untouched aftermath of his broken heart. 

     It was then that he realized, people who get broken, they are never fully fixed. They may be physically, but there are always scars. And the brave, they are the ones who are comfortable with showing their scars. He wants to be brave, to show her how much she means to him still, show her that he still loves her, to whatever end.

The booming voices and cheers snap him back to life. After bowing, Connal spots Rowanʻs silver head in the crowd.

“Oh Whitethorn, get your ass up here,” he yelps in the mic, pinning the rooms attention onto him.

“No thanks bud,”

The crowd yells and booʻs, “Oh come on,”

Forced against his will to get on the stage, he ends up making the most of the situation, choosing a song that hopefully letʻs him blow off some steam. He queues it and takes the mic.

[A.N.] Play “Power Over Me” by Dermot Kennedy now, follow along, and imagine it. Find playlist here.

Rowan:    MMM, MMM

               I WANNA BE KING IN YOUR STORY

               I WANNA KNOW WHO YOU ARE

               I WANT YOUR HEART TO BE FOR ME

                OH I

               WANT YOU TO SING TO ME SOFTLY

               ʻCAUSE THEN IʻM OUTRUNNING THE DARK

               THATʻS ALL THAT LOVE EVER TAUGHT ME

               OH I

               CALL AND IʻLL RUSH OUT.   [MMM]

               ALL OUT OF BREATH NOW

               YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

               EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

               YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

               THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

               YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

              YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

              YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

               REMEMBER THE LAKE IN THE MOONLIGHT?

               REMEMBER YOU SHIVERED AND SHONE

               IʻLL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU LOOKED LIKE

               ON THAT NIGHT

               BUT I KNOW THAT TIMEʻS GONNA TAKE ME

               I KNOW THE DAYʻS GONNA COME

               I JUST WANT THE DEVIL TO HATE ME

               OH I

              CALL AND IʻLL RUSH OUT.   [MMM]

              ALL OUT OF BREATH NOW

              YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

              EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

              YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

              THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

              YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

             YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

             YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

             IT WAS ALL IN DOUBT

             THEY WERE ALL AROUND

             SO WE HIDE AWAY AND NEVER TELL

             YOU DECIDE THAT DARKNESS KNOWS YOU WELL

             THAT LESSON OF LOVE, ALL THAT IT WAS

             I NEED YOU TO SEE

             YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

             EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

             YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

             THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

             YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME.      [WOO]

             AND I KNOW THAT I LET HER DOWN, NO

             LET HER DOWN, NO

             YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

             EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR RESIDES IN THOSE EYES

              GOT THAT POWER OVER ME, MY, MY

             THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, THE ONLY ONE ON MY MIND

             YOU GOT THAT POWER OVER ME

             MMM, MMM

The packed club whistles and cheers and Rowan leaves the stage, feeling a lot better. Minutes pass of the boys talking, listening to other passengers sing, when Lorcan finds them, his face bright and glowing.

“Salvaterre! How was the massage” 

He just grunts, paying no mind to their insults. “You guys better get cleaned up if you want to come to dinner with us, our reservations in an hour. Thereʻs a movie showing after that if youʻre up for it too.”

     Fenrys, of course, is the most excited to spend an evening with lovely women, but Rowan on the other-hand, he found himself extremely nervous. He spends way too long, trying on different outfits in his cabin. If Aelin will be there, he needs to look good. He compromises with a fitting suit and styles his hair with gel. Once hyping himself up, convincing himself he was as dashing as they say, he left to find Fenrys and Connal. They make their way to the Antica, arriving a little late.

     It took everything in him to not fall to his knees at the sight of Aelin. She wore a brilliant blue dress, complimenting her glorious features. He had a difficult time comprehending how this beautiful creature was real, and sitting right next to him nontheless.

     A sharp tinge of guilt ran through his soul. Was he betraying Lyria? Although they fought often, they loved each other. He had been prepared to propose after all. After the accident, he closed off access to his heart, not letting many in. Now that he was here, with her, he could feel things again. Should he allow himself to feel things again? Where was his punishment from Lyria? His heart dropped in his chest.

     One glance at Aelin and his body calmed. Aelin made him feel things that no one else had, not even Lyria. She silenced his rambling thoughts, calmed his anxieties. She brought a light into his life, everything was an adventure with her, he never knew what to expect next. She was full of wildfire. His Fireheart.

     He continues to steal sly glances at her whenever sheʻs not looking. Sheʻs absolutely radiant, just as gorgeous as the day I first saw her. But there was something different about her. She was more refined. She still had that contagious, care-free spirit about her, but there was something there, something holding her back. With deeper inspection, he could see the scars there. The scars of a young woman who endured many pains, a daughter mourning the loss of her parents, a friend learning to express herself, a brave woman, not afraid of showing her scars. His heart tugged.

     While lost in his thoughts, the waiter came around to take orders. He had been so lost in his world, in her, that he had no chance to scan the menu. He turned to the waiter and asked what the most popular dish was. The waiter names the dish and Rowan orders it, having no clue what it was. Fenrys and Connal both give him a strange look of disbelief. What?

     He was even more surprise when Aelin ordered the same thing as him. Fairly certain that she also had no clue what “escargot” was, he assumed it was just her spontaneous spirit pushing her to try new dishes. He missed that spirit, missed everything about her. There was a strong pull to her, and he was just happy to be caught in it once again, this time he will not leave, and he will fight like hell to stay, no matter how hard she pushes away.

The dishes arrive and he bites back the urge to barf.

Snails.

Stupid fucking idiot.

He didnʻt even think to ask what the dish was, he just unknowingly signed not only himself but also Aelin up for eating snails.

Shit.

     It took everything in him to not vomit out his insides. He wouldnʻt be able to stomach the embarrassment, and he would never hear the end of it from Fenrys and Connal. So he found it within himself to eat his dish in silence, desperately wishing he could retract his vow to remain sober. Alcohol would definitely numb his receptors to this meal.

     The rest of the night was very pleasant. He learned a lot about Aelinʻs friends. Aedion, he had heard of previously when they dated, he appreciated how protective he was of Aelin, she deserves to be looked after. She deserves the world. 

     Lysandra, Aedionʻs fiance? they acted like honeymooners but he spotted no ring on the womanʻs finger. Hmm. Lysandra was spunky, like Aelin, but more reserved and reasonably logical. 

     Manon. She was terrifying. Like Lorcanʻs persona on crack. If someone did Aelin or any of their friend group wrong, itʻs not Aedion they would be worried of, itʻs Manon. 

     Elide, he got to know a little better. She was kind, gentle, and exactly what Lorcan needs. They balanced each other out very well, and he could tell they were madly in love with each other.

     The group left dinner to catch the showing of Beauty and the Beast, when Rowan noticed that Aelin strayed from the group. Slightly curious, he follows her and finds her face stuffed with chocolate cake. She was so cute.

“Still a fan of chocolate, I see,” You idiot. Sheʻs probably trying to clean her palate from the snails you unintentionally made her eat.

Aelin turns, mouth full of cake, “you caught me”

She says it so innocently that Rowan canʻt help but laugh.

“Did you want some?” she offers him a bite. He holds up his hand.

“No, thank you though, I just wanted to check on you, make sure youʻre okay.”

She laughs, “Hm let me see, besides eating snails, Iʻve found the library, read a really fascinating book, taken a nap, and tried the best cake Iʻve ever tasted, Iʻd say Iʻm doing pretty great.”

He feels extremely guilty for the snail part.

They share an intimate moment of pure laughter and joy.

“Well we better get back to everybody, Iʻm sure the movieʻs about to start.”

     He doesnʻt catch much of the movie. He spends majority of it, admiring Aelin. Watching her sing the songs at the top of her lungs. Watching the nearby childrenʻs annoyed glances. Watching her smile, her genuine, bright smile. His heart leaps. There was a time where heʻd do anything to get to see that smile. A time where sheʻs let him do anything.

     His vow plays through his head, This is not the end. This is not goodbye. We will find each other again, then her words, “If we are destined to be together, life will put us together again.”

     Now here they were, together again. And he would spend the rest of his days, reminding her of their love, reminding her that they are destined. That he will love her, to whatever end.

--------

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[c4pricornc4ts]

"April Fool's bitch! Also can I move in with you?" - OriginsSMP one-shot

Happy April Fools! - Read it on ao3 here!

Words: 2k Characters: Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Wilbur

“It’s April Fools Day, I’m pranking him.” He points to his chest with his thumb proudly. “So he needs to borrow some of your lake. Just till he wakes up.”

Niki laughs, she had forgotten about April fools day. It wasn’t really something she ever did. Or cared to do. But this seemed harmless enough. So she nods and goes to guide his float all the way back to the middle of the river before the sun rises any more.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Niki wakes up and immediately notices something very different. There was a large object floating on the surface, and it definitely wasn’t a mob she knew. Unless Minecraft had updated? Surely she would have known. She stares up at it from her ocean bed for another minute, working up the courage to swim up to it.

Well, it didn’t seem hostile. It didn’t really seem like a fish at all, but it was so early in the morning there wasn’t really a lot of light to tell by. So, at four in the morning, Niki finds herself swimming up to the surface.

She breaks through the water and takes a minute to adjust to the land. Her eyesight was worse up here. But it wasn’t so bad. Tubbo was working on some glasses for her, but apparently, the whole ‘needing to be waterproof’ thing is giving him some trouble. She didn’t blame him, it was a little troublesome.

Niki gasps when she realizes it isn’t an animal but rather a certain very loud, very not into sleeping at low altitudes, Tommy. She immediately grabs the air mattress he’s somehow still asleep on and slowly pulls him over to land. She’s about to wake him up when someone starts talking.

“Hey! Niki!” It’s a hushed voice, with a hint of excitement in it. Niki jumps a little but tries to stay quiet as well.

“Hello? Who are you?”

“It’s me, Niki! Your best pal. Duh.” Sure enough, Tubbo with his brown hair and signature oversized green shirt struggles to get out of the bush he was hiding in.

“Well I don’t know about ‘best.’”

He sits down in front of her and pushes a still sleeping Tommy back into the river. “You wound me, Niki.”

“Why did you just push him back?” She tilts her head at him, bracing for some sort of overly complicated answer. It was a coin toss whether she’d understand a single thing in Tubbo’s explanations.

“It’s April Fools Day, I’m pranking him.” He points to his chest with his thumb proudly. “So he needs to borrow some of your lake. Just till he wakes up.”

Niki laughs, she had forgotten about April fools day. It wasn’t really something she ever did. Or cared to do. But this seemed harmless enough. So she nods and goes to guide his float all the way back to the middle of the river before the sun rises any more.

--------------------------------------------

Tommy wakes up to the sun in his eyes and a pounding headache. He looks around, confused when he sees trees instead of the usual mountain peaks. And more confused by the fact his hands are sinking into something that is definitely not his bed.

“JACK FUCKIN’ MANIFOLD, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” He carefully gets on his knees, not sure how stable afloat in the middle of a lake is.

It surprises him when Jack doesn’t appear, but Niki does. Which really shouldn’t surprise him at all, because, well, he’s kinda sleeping in her house.

“This one wasn’t Jack, unfortunately. But it wasn’t me either before you get mad at the person who is about to rescue you.”

Tommy narrows his eyes at her. “So you know who did it then?”

Both of their attentions shift to Tubbo, who just fell out of the bush he was hiding in. Clutching his stomach in laughter.

“Oh, you shulk! Just wait till I get over there I’ll-” He looks around him and realizes there's really no way for him to get over to the shore. Well besides swimming and he doesn’t want to be wet and have a migraine this early in the morning. “Niki, if you will.”

She nods, trying not to laugh at him which the avian appreciates.

Once they finally reach the grass, Tubbo helps him off the bed, and the three talk.

“Now how the hell did you manage to get me out there and what the hell are you gonna do to fix this headache I have from sleeping so low?” He rubs his head to make a point, now that he’s not so focused on getting out of the water it hurts a lot more.

“One question at a time sheesh Tommy. I got Philza to help me. Not sure how you slept through that.”

“Tommy’s just used to flying I think, Philza has carried him a lot.” Niki joins from the water.

“So you’re telling me I have to go get mad at him too?” Tommy turns to Niki very seriously. “Tell me you weren’t in on this too.”

“Oh don’t worry Tommy, I was just as confused why you were in the middle of the river.”

“Well, I’m just glad someone likes me and doesn’t want me dead!” He turns back to Tubbo and crosses his arms.

“Oh come on you didn’t die!” Tubbo is laughing at his dramatics, and Tommy can’t deny he wants to laugh too. It’s a good prank, at least all he got was a headache. If this had happened to Ranboo…

“Yeah, and that’s a bad thing for you, I’ll get revenge Tubbo.” He gets up, waving bye to Niki before heading to someone who he knows would help him get revenge.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. See you later Toms! Bye Niki!” Tommy doesn’t say anything back, just focusing on getting to Wilbur’s house.

------------------------------------------

He doesn’t bother to knock, knowing Wilbur is probably asleep. He usually was during the day, being a phantom and all. He does knock on the bedroom door once however, he’s not completely rude.

“Wilbur, I need your help, it's an emergency.”

Wilbur gets up hearing that, feeling around his bedside table for his glasses. He almost knocks over a cup of water in the process which Tommy catches.

“Wh-what’s wrong Tommy?” He finally puts his glasses on and looks up at him. “You seem too happy to have a real emergency. God damnit Toms what did I say about-”

“Nope, no, save the lecture for after I tell you what I woke you up for.”

“Alright.” The phantom sits back down. “Tell me your ‘emergency.’”

“Tubbo and Philza pranked me and I need your help getting him back.”

“You wake me up, and scare the shit out of me for a prank war?” Wilbur’s looking up at him with an unimpressed face, waiting for a real answer.

Tommy plays with his hands and smiles nervously. “Um… yes?”

Wilbur sighs and falls back on his bed. “I’m in. What’s your plan?”

“So glad you asked. It’s simple really.” Tommy sits down on the bed as well, grabbing a notepad and pen off the dresser and tearing off the top page that was full of what looked like song lyrics. “Wilbur are you sad again?”

“What? No. That has nothing to do with your prank anyway.”

“Okay, sure.” Tommy writes ‘bring up another time’ on the top of the notepad. Wilbur laughs and slaps the whole thing out of his hands.

“Just tell me the plan, you fuckin’ vegan.”

“Alright, so I was thinking I just toss a glass of water at his face.”

“That’s kinda lame compared to what he pulled off.” Wilbur laughs.

“So? He had time, probably planned that stupid prank for months! I have hours. And he hates getting surprised so it’s perfect really.”

“Look, I have some bubble wrap. We’ll put that under his rug and you can still do your stupid water shit when he’s still figuring out why his rug sounds like fireworks.”

“Okay weird plan but sure. Where is the bubble wrap? I’ll speed walk it to Tubbo’s treehouse.” He gets up off the bed, waiting for the phantom to do the same.

“It’s in the living room, go ahead and go over. I’ll have to be invisible.” He leaves Wilbur and starts the walk to Tubbo’s house, careful not to run into anyone on the way.

He likes Tubbo’s treehouse, it always felt so personal. Almost everything Tubbo had in it was handmade. Tommy had even reluctantly helped with some things. Like the rug in the entrance. They had lined it with thin pieces of oak and carved their initials into it.

He climbs up the ladder into the trees and lets himself into a thankfully empty treehouse. When he lifts up the rug to place the bubble wrap under, he smiles when he sees their initials and stupid little drawings were still scratched into it. He never checks it when Tubbo is around, always insisting it was dumb of them to have done.

He goes to the kitchen and is looking for a cup when Wilbur appears behind him.

“How’s it going?”

Tommy yelps and turns around, hand on his chest. “Wilbur! Don’t scare me like that damnit!”

“Ah, yes. My bad. Forgot that avians were fragile.” Wilbur retorts, causing Tommy to just roll his eyes.

“Well, at least I don’t need to wear a stupid hat in the sun.” The hat was oversized and very floppy but for some reason, Wilbur insisted it was stylish. Tommy didn’t know when blue sun hats with red ribbons came into style, but whatever kept his friend from dying in the sun was okay in his book.

“It not stupid it’s-”

“-Stylish, I know. Keep lying to yourself, Wilby.”

They both pause, Tommy turns back and picks a cup. Wilbur sits on the counter, swinging his legs.

“Sometimes I wish I just accepted his offer to live here. It’s kinda… lonely at night.” He regrets it as soon as he says it, but looking at all the art and knickknacks Tubbo has scattered around his kitchen just makes Tommy feel at home. More than his own house.

“I can’t believe you didn’t. Were you hoping Philza would take you?”

“Yeah. I suppose I was. God, how stupid am I?”

“Stupid enough to choose avian as your class.” Wilbur jokes and hops off the counter before continuing. “You know, Tubbo’s a good kid. Betcha if you told him you changed your mind he’d let you.”

They both look at the cup of water Tommy just filled, planning to throw at Tubbo. “Then maybe we shouldn’t prank him back…”

Tommy goes to pour out the water, Wilbur stops him. “We absolutely should prank him back! He’s a strange kid, he’ll appreciate it.”

“I thought he was a good kid.”

“He’s both. He’s also a fuckin shulker.”

Tommy laughs. “Like if true!”

They hear the door creak open and Tommy flattens himself against the kitchen wall, gripping the cup of water so tight his fingers are turning white. Wilbur quickly makes himself invisible.

Tommy hears the popping, flinching from how loud it is. Wilbur was right, it did sound like fireworks. He hears Tubbo yelp before throwing the water at his face as he runs into the kitchen.

Tubbo trips on seemingly nothing and falls. “Oh my god, Tommy!”

He starts to get actually concerned for the shulker so he kneels down to check on him. Tubbo flicks water onto his face and laughs.

“I was starting to think you weren’t going to.”

“My damn headache didn’t let me forget.”

“Well, I think that fall gave me one too, or maybe a concussion.”

“April fools bitch! Also can I please move in with you?”

“Haha- Wait what?” Tubbo gets up. “Oh come on now Tommy you already pranked me once this joke is actually cruel.”

“No it’s not a joke, I promise. It’s just- you live up high and we could split the chores you know…?”

“Sure, chores are what made you want to live with me.”

“Yep! Chores. So can I?” He gets up and then reaches his hand towards Tubbo to help him up. He notices the window is open, Wilbur must’ve left.

“... Clean the puddle on my floor and we’ll talk.”

[darth-salem-emperor-of-earth]

Here is my second entry for @naruto-fantasy-week! Just like with my previous fanfic for Day One, I realized I had a lot of potential and ideas to explore with this prompt and story idea so one day, I’ll come back to this fic and expand on the premise even further. But man, I wish I was faster at writing and had more time to chug out the rest of my fanfics because I am running out of time and have five more to go. Let’s see if I can get them all done in time. XD

The title of this story derives from both the chorus lyrics and the song title “Demons Are a Girl’s Best Friend” by Powerwolf. I did scanned this fic for edits but I probably missed some errors. 

Summary: Demons, monsters, they’re all the same when you live in a small, rural village always plagued with beasts, curses, and battles between magical creatures. Never in her life did Sakura expect to get pulled into the world of demons, thanks to the curiosity of a fox and tanuki demon. Naruto Fantasy Week, Day 2. Prompt: Monstrous. [Gaara x Sakura, Naruto x Sakura]

Text:

Flashback

Thoughts

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“You have always wanted to caress every monster.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

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There was a good reason why her village established a curfew at night and on certain days of the year they warned the locals not to venture away from the outskirts of the hamlet and wander into the damp, murky woods that hugged near the village’s perimeter, acting like an imposing wall to another world. Monsters, demons, they claimed, laid on the prowl, waiting for the chance to snatch up an unsuspecting, unfortunate soul who strayed too far from the village and wandered into the clustered, dark forest. Their warnings and cause for concern were not groundless, for people did mysteriously vanish or when traveling to another neighboring town, didn’t leave in time to make it before dusk settled and never returned home. Bandits was the common explanation but there had been cases reported by witnesses, stating they saw humanoid beings with claws, fangs, and animals ears and tails. Demons walked among mankind and they were always looking to steal some away and never bring them back. 

Sakura had all these warnings and stories whirling in her brain as she sprinted through the winding, twisted path that would eventually lead her out of the dismal, haunting forest and back to the open fields of her helmet, where she’d surely be safe. She took a calculated risk in coming into the woods to scavenge for plants and herbs but a rare moss grew in these parts abundantly and her shishou needed them to treat the villagers. After a month of braving the secluded, verboten forest with no trouble, now, of all days, when their supply was running out thanks to a fever crippling the younger, more able-bodied folk with dizziness, hallucinations, extreme sweats, and lack of strength, she was spotted and now pursued by two demons. One fox demon and the other, a tanuki demon.  

Sakura leapt over a gnarled tree root, gripping her basket firmly to prevent the contents from spilling out and making her covert trek to the woods all for naught. She refused to look behind her. Looking back would slow her down and speed was critical if she was going to survive this frightful encounter. 

“Hey, hey you! Why are you running away from me?”

They’re just taunting me! They can’t know where I am!

Ducking underneath a branch, Sakura continued to race, increasing her pace even though her legs ached and her lungs heaved as if her whole chest was on fire. The sun was no longer peeking through the dense canopy and by now, she could hardly see what was in front of her. She had to be close to the outskirts of her town soon--she couldn’t be going in circles...was she?

That worrisome musing distracted Sakura momentarily from her mission, her feet still in motion but her eyes and mind were frozen in the sudden trepidation that in her fear of being spotted by some demons, she took a wrong turn and was horribly lost in these forsaken woods. She forgot to check her feet or look down at the ground, for a nearby tree branch snagged on the hem of her apron, startling her so badly her whole body twisted around from the shocking impact, one hand grasping her apron to tug it free. In doing so, Sakura failed to notice the enormous, thick tree root behind her and subsequently tripped backwards, the basket of herbs flying out of her grasp. Her collision with the bumpy, hard ground was agonizing and endless, her head throbbing and pounding like a hammer on the anvil and she tasted blood in her mouth. The back of her head felt wet and something sharp and jagged was jabbed up against her back. She tried wiggling her fingers and toes but was only greeted with a numbing sensation. Darkness swirled in her vision. She inhaled deep and instantly regretted it, her chest constricting and screeching at her to stop breathing while she hacked up some blood. As an apprentice to a knowledgeable, highly skilled and competent village doctor, Sakura deduced she was in horrible shape and if she didn’t get help soon, she would die.

I’m a dead woman either way. I’ll either bleed out or those two demons chasing me will finish the job.

Tears prick her eyelids and stubbornly, Sakura blinked them back, closing her eyes to alleviate herself from the vertigo that plagued her vision and head. Her trip wasn’t supposed to end like this, with her dying, alone and in pain, while her shishou anxiously waiting for her return with the herbs. She failed her mentor and everyone from her village. How long would it take for them to be courageous enough to explore the forest and discover her body? Or would the earth claim her corpse first?

“Please,” she croaked, ignoring the pain that came with every hagged breath. Tears flowed down her cheeks unchecked, her waning willpower couldn’t restrain them anymore. “Please, someone...help me. Save...my village. I’ll… I’ll do anything!” 

A torrent of coughing prevented her from continuing, eyes clamped shut. But in the midst of her excruciating hacking, Sakura swore she heard a feminine, sinister but twinkling cackle. But given the amount of blood she had already lost and sustained a severe head injury, she had to imagine the foreboding noise. Yet the laughter, hallucinated or not, echoed in her head as her head lolled to its side, weariness reaching every part of her, as if a burdensome, cool pall coiled itself around her and held her tautly in its grasp. 

“Sleep,” rang a voice that was not her own in her head. “Sleep, and let the two demons claim you. They will save you.”

Despite the pain, Sakura snorted but didn’t argue with the voice in her mind. After all, she was going to die so why waste her energy debating with herself? 

“Sleep!” the unknown voice commanded again, this time sounding impatient and irked. Sakura’s consciousness slipped from her control and the last thought she had was this was finally the end and she only hoped someone from the village would at least find her basket and bring the plants back to her mentor to treat her ailing patients.     

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When the relentless round of bickering reached Sakura’s ears as she slowly woke up, she thought she was back home, in bed, and the near-death experience she underwent in the demon woods was simply a vivid nightmare. Yet as she fought off the grogginess and slowly opened her eyes, the hope swelling within her crashed almost instantly with such a raging crescendo at the sight of the fox and tanuki demon arguing with each other. They were loud enough that she didn’t have to strain her ears to hear them.

“What do you mean, ‘your territory’? She was wandering on my land when I found her!” growled the fox demon, spiky blonde hair momentarily distracting Sakura with his outburst as he shook his head vigorously. His azuline eyes flashed with rage, pulling his lips back to reveal a sharp set of canine teeth. 

No emotion registered on the tanuki demon’s pale visage or his aqua eyes, his scarlet hair remaining Sakura painfully of her own blood that she was hacking up not long ago. She felt sore, true,  but nothing as horrible as the agony wracking her body when she lied motionlessly, in the woods that evening. Had these two demons healed her fatal injuries?

There was no one else but them who could have reached me in time. But how did they save me? And more importantly, why?

As she pondered these puzzling inquiries, Sakura carefully listened on to the demons’ bickering. Their argument involved her but for what?

The ruby haired tanuki demon sneered at the blond fox demon. Dismissal was the only impression marked on his features now. “Since when did your territory cross over into mine? The once mortal was gathering in my domain and therefore, she will be a part of my clan.”

Clan? Is that what they are yelling to each other about? Whose territory they found me in?

At least they didn’t plan on devouring her. After all, why go through all the trouble of healing and patching up your prey if your own goal was to eat it? 

The golden haired demon’s ears twitched irately and the fox demon crossed his arms. His long, fluffy, gilded tail curled around the side of his left leg, looking so soft despite the anger charging through its owner. “Then why don’t we ask her ourselves?! I bet she’d rather stay with me than you, Gaara!”

Sakura froze as the tanuki demon–Gaara was his name–turned his attention towards her, teal eyes narrowing at her huddled form. Like Naruto, he too had ears and a tail, but his ears were more round and the tail shorter but seemed firmer. The fur on both the tanuki demon’s ears and tail was a tawny hue, with faint patches of black along the tail. 

“Finally, a good idea on your end, Naruto. The once mortal is awake now.”

The mood on Naruto’s face immediately shifted to one of curiosity and excitement and he immediately dashed up to her before kneeling down by her feet. Up close, he had what seemed to be whiskers but they were flat across his cheeks and had the appearance of facial markings or tattoos. From his enthusiasm to the wide beam he was delivering her, this fox demon reminded Sakura more of a loving hound than a dangerous creature. Could she have been mistaken to believe they wanted to hurt her, or at least, this one? The chase could have been one giant misunderstanding–after all, they were talking about her in their domain so perhaps that’s why they were following her after she ran away? To warn her not to trespass into their territory again? 

“I’m so happy to see you’re awake! My name is Naruto!” he introduced instantly, his tail brushing up against her leg. Its fur was just as downy as she imagined. 

“I’m Sakura,” she answered, her throat dry as she rasped out her name. She turned to look at Gaara, who was busy boring a hole in the back of Naruto’s head with a venomous glower. “And your name is Gaara, right?”

The said demon jerked his head up and immediately pinned his uncompromising scrutiny on her. “You were listening to our conversation.” His words were a statement, not a question. 

She nodded her head, figuring there was no point in lying. “Yes, but I would hardly call that a conversation. More like a heated argument.” She leaned forward, feeling some of her muscles groaning out in protest but at least she could feel her legs, hands, feet, and arms and every other limb attached to her. “But before I forget, thank you for saving me in the forest. I was critically wounded and thought I was going to die. But you two spared me and mended my body to practically brand new. I cannot thank you enough. She moved to get on her hands and knees to give them a proper bow, to demonstrate her thanks to such powerful beings but Naruto zapped his hands out to halt her movements. Bright sapphire eyes looked at her with concern and alarm.

“No, don’t move, Sakura-chan!” he pleased. “You still need to rest. It will take some time to adjust to your new body and—”

All warmth drained from her at his last few words, every part of her stiffening at his admission. Dread pooled in her stomach, seizing her by her throat and she recoiled from him, landing back on her rear. “What did you say?!” She nearly shrieked out, frantically glancing down at her hands and legs but seeing nothing different or out of place. Was the change elsewhere, like on her face or head? “‘New body’? What the hell does that mean?!”

Gaara hissed. Naruto’s eyes widened in horror at his slip. 

“Uh, I didn’t mean that! I misspoke! What I actually meant to say was that your completely normal human body is fine and you don’t have to worry about it except for resting up and not overexerting yourself.” he quickly amended. He shot her an assuring her grin but soon dropped it after she narrowed her verdant eyes at him. 

Gaara rolled his eyes at Naruto’s pitiable attempt to cover up his error. The damage had been down and now, the once mortal called Sakura would be panicking now. “Forget it, Naruto. She has to be told. Before she does something stupid, like run off and crash into a bunch of humans and scare them.” Now he was glaring at her, daring her to prove him wrong.  

She cut him a fulminating glower of her own, refusing to be cowed or scared by the likes of him, even if he was a demon.  By now, her fear of demons and what they could execute on humans had long since passed. “Tell me what?”

Naruto fidgeted uncomfortably prior to producing a hand mirror the size of a large mixing bowl and presented the item to her almost apologetically. “It’s easier for you to see than for us to explain to you. But Sakura...you have to understand, we had no choice. You were dying and this was the only method to save you.”  

Her hands nearly trembled as she accepted the mirror but her grip on the hard, curved edges remained strong. As she steadily tilted the mirror’s surface to reflect her visage, her fingers dug anxiously into the metallic, intricate frame until her knuckles were pale as cream, refusing to let go as Sakura came face-to-face with the monster in the mirror. 

Brilliant garnet, gold, emerald, and topaz feathers stuck out along her wide forehead like a crown, skimmed the bridge of her nose before disappearing completely. The same array of feathers poked out in tufts behind her short, pink hair, no doubt coming out from the upper section of her back. These same luxurious feathers coated at least half of her arms and when Sakura tried to shift around to see how far those feathers went, she caught one of her motionless wings out of the corner of her eye. 

For Kami’s sake, I have wings now?!

Still unable to speak, Sakura reached out behind her and felt her fingertips brush up against the bend of her wing, the texture of the feathers firm, smooth, and silky soft. A little tingle jolted up her spine as she continued to touch or stroke her wings and reluctantly, she stopped. Wings were more sensitive than she realized. 

“Sakura?” Naruto’s tentative, worried tone brought the said young woman out of her trance-like observation. His bright blue eyes looked utterly wretched and pleaful as their gazes crossed again that Sakura couldn’t find it in her heart to be so angry at him, even if this transmogrify changed her life forever, in a way she never expected nor was prepared for.

“Was my condition really that severe?” she asked quietly, first looking at him and then Gaara for confirmation. While Gaara tilted his head to the side and barely nodded, Naruto’s head bobbed up and down rigorously like an unstoppable ball. 

“There was so much blood that Gaara had to be away from you at first--blood kind of excites him, you see,” Naruto quickly explained, unaware of Gaara scowling darkly at him or Sakura’s eyebrows rising high at this new information about one of her rescuers. “But he calmed down once I tried to heal your injuries or wake you up, but you were unresponsive. I think you might have broken a couple of bones but I couldn’t tell.”

“What we could tell was that your soul was faint and fading fast,” Gaara interjected, brushing past Naruto to take a seat next to Sakura. His tawny tail brushed up against her wings and Sakura suppressed an involuntary flutter that spread across her shoulders. “Naruto felt guilty that our chase led you to your demise and wanted to save your life by turning you into a demon, one of us.”

“What about you?” Sakura found herself asking, leveling her eyes with his, unafraid to confront and meet his seemingly intense scrutiny. Up close, she noticed black rings outlined his upper and lower eyelids, making him seem less imposing and more...cute? 

Focus, Sakura! Now is not the time to be thinking like that!

“I agreed to help Naruto only to stop his blubbering,” he answered curtly, ignoring Naruto bristling and squawking with outrage at his blunt remark. He paused, cocking his head at her as if she suddenly became a fascinating creature to him. “But I must admit, I was rather curious to find a dying mortal being cradled by the branches and roots of the forest.”

Sakura’s jaw dropped at the last part of his admission. “Wait, what are you talking about? Before I passed out, I certainly didn’t see any trees coming to support me. Yes, it was getting dark out and yet—”

Yet she did hear a strange voice in her ears, echoing all over the forest while she was slowly dying but simply chalked the noise up to hallucination due to her blood loss. Perhaps she didn’t imagine those words at all and there was really a spirit of the woods watching over her.

Her realization must have dawned evidently on her face for Gaara sensed it immediately and narrowed his eyes at her. 

“Yet what? What do you remember?” he demanded.

This time, Naruto was the one sending him a glare. “Calm down, Gaara! She just had a near death experience and has to adjust to being a demon now. Give her a break, will you?” Growling, Gaara turned his furiously at him and the two demons were about to dissolve into another snarling, bickering match if Sakura didn’t speak up.

“I heard a voice, while I was bleeding out.” Both their heads snapped back to her, completely focused on her and her alone. “I can’t remember everything but the woman or whoever the voice came from, told me to sleep a couple of times. And for me to let you two save me, I think.” Eyelids now closed shut, Sakura wracked her brain to think back on those terrifying moments, where she was battling to stay awake and in vain attempting to move when the voice first came to her. The voice definitely wanted her to not be awake when Naruto and Gaara found her but why? Was it because she needed rest for her injuries and the impending transformation and the spirit sensed that? If that random theory was true, then why would a spirit of the forest care about her?

Gaara and Naruto exchanged pensive looks. “That does sound like something Kaguya would do,” the fox demon pointed out, donning a wary expression. “I know she’s supposedly dead and all but maybe her spirit does live on in the trees of that forest. The Tadasu no Mori was known to be her favorite resting place.”

Unlike Naruto, Gaara’s visage was unreadable. “It’s possible. And when she was alive, she was known to transform human mortals into demons.” 

Not wanting to be left in the dark about the spirit or woman who had some contribution in saving her life, Sakura chimed in, “Who is Kaguya? Was she a demon like you?”

Both of the demons nodded, their expressions completely somber. “She was one of the oldest of our kind but as the years dragged on, she became bitter towards both humans and demons alike and sought to bring about the destruction of this world and begin anew with her chosen few.” 

Shocked, Sakura could only stare at them and nodded silently, wondering how her village and people elsewhere never learned about such a catastrophe. Humans had stories and warnings about demons but nothing about a tale regarding an embittered demoness who craved to incite the end of the world and start a new one. Naruto’s face softened as he continued.   

“There was a long, bloody war between Kaguya and her allies versus those who opposed her. The humans that did get sucked into this conflict either perished or died soon after before they could pass along their memories of the war and fighting alongside demons as friends.”

“That or no one believed them and ruled their words as ‘outlandish tall tales’,” Gaara cut in sardonically. “But that’s besides the point. Kaguya was eventually slain in battle, her supporters either dead or capitulated. Her corpse was destroyed, the ashes scattered in Tadasu no Mori. If she is the voice you heard, then we’ll have to be more careful.”   

Despite her head swimming with news that there had been a dangerous, secret war between demons and to an extent, humans, Sakura frowned at the cautious tone in Gaara’s voice. “‘We’?” she echoed. “Why do we need to be careful? Kaguya is dead and long gone now. Even if her spirit was with me in those woods, she couldn’t hurt us, could she?”

“No, but she still has loyal allies waiting in the shadows that survived the aftermath. Some have tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to revive her while others assay to continue what she started. And they would be quite intrigued with a human girl who was changed into a demon, a phoenix demon no less. Our whole kind would be. There hasn’t been a phoenix demon nor metamorphosis like yours in centuries.”

“But don’t worry!” Naruto chimed in cheerily, hoping to alleviate Sakura’s trepidation of how interested other demons would be in her. “Gaara and I will protect you! If you stay with us and our two clans, no demon can come along and snatch you up without starting a territory dispute. We can even show you how to use and train your powers as a demon!”

That offer definitely had merit and would certainly come in handy in this new world of demons and their own brand of politics and schemes. As touched as she was with Naruto’s vow of protection, she wanted to be able to better defend herself and learn what she was capable of in this new demon body of hers. The wings and feathers would still take some time to get used to. 

“Weren’t you two arguing earlier about who I get to stay with though? Why the change of heart?” she said, a teasing edge in her voice. 

Naruto’s cheeks flushed a vibrant vermilion, embarrassed as he sputtered and then mumbled up some excuses about ‘the strength of two is better than one’ and that ‘they didn’t know about Kaguya at the time’. Gaara remained po-faced through it all but his lips did curve up in a half-smirk. In the back of her mind, Sakura wondered what he’d look like if he fully smiled. Naruto’s features always lit up so infectiously when he beamed at her. He was like the sun.

“It’s okay, Naruto,” she interjected, reaching out to touch his hand and halting him in mid-rambling. “I understand. Thank you, both of you, for offering me shelter. Being a demon...it will take some time for me to get used to that. Especially since it seems I cannot go back home, right? Or am I wrong?” Deep down, she clinged to the absurd hope that maybe she’d be safe in the village, that while everyone would be flabbergasted or scandalized at her new form, they’d learn to accept her monstrous transmogrification and carry on with their day. But that vain hope flickered out and ebbed away like a small ember in the firesite when she witnessed the plaintive sympathy flashing in Naruto’s cerulean eyes or the disapproving expression overtaking Gaara’s pale features.

“No, you’re not wrong, Sakura-chan,” the fox demon admitted ruefully. “If you go back to your village...things can go poorly.” 

“You will be killed or imprisoned. And I would slaughter the fools who harmed any part of you, down to a single hair on your head.” groused Gaara, arms crossed resolutely. Sakura didn’t doubt him. There was no way she would risk the village being subjugated to his wrath simply because she missed her home and wanted to reveal herself to those closest to her in hope they would understand and accept her. They might but that didn’t mean the neighbors would. There was a reason why some towns had trained demon hunters and while her hamlet didn’t have any professionals like that, the village leaders could easily request one of the nearby settlements to let them borrow some of theirs.  

Her vibrant wings spread out, only a little for her feathery, colorful bends to be able to brush against her cheek, as if to comfort her. So much had betided to her in less than a day, even though time seemed to have stretched itself for weeks. “You don’t have to worry about me sneaking off to go back to my village,” she replied dejectedly, reaching to card her fingers through the differing layers of feathers her wings seemed to have. She couldn’t mull about what she lost besides her humanity.

And shishou must be worried sick by now since I haven’t returned back to her clinic yet…

Eyes widening in remembrance, Sakura snapped her head over to her basket of herbs, relieved to still see it lying there, untouched. She didn’t imagine its existence after all!

“Demons can cast illusions and shapeshift, can’t they?” she queried abruptly, startling both Naruto and Gaara with her out of the blue question. Their eyes watched her as she twisted around to pluck the basket up from the ground and cradled it in her arms. 

“Yeah, fox demons like me excel at both those abilities,” admitted Naruto proudly. He then elbowed his fellow demon playfully. “Gaara over here can cast a glamor but it won’t last as long as my illusions. Why do you ask, Sakura-chan?”

All right, this idea of mine just might work. I simply need to get both of them to agree with my request, Gaara in particular. He might not like what I have to say.

Toying with a stray piece of straw from the basket’s handle, Sakura replayed the words in her head one more time before voicing what was on her mind. “I know we already discussed me returning home is a terrible idea for me but my village needs these plants I gathered for them earlier. If you two use your illusions and glamor, the three of us could safely enter my village without issue. When I find my shishou, I deliver the plants to her, and once we say our farewells, we’ll leave.” The pinkette looked down at her basket, the source that landed her into this new life of hers. “It will be too risky and dangerous for me to go alone so I figured if the three of us go, there shouldn’t be any problems.”

Frowning, Gaara opened his mouth, probably to object, but Naruto quickly cut over him to exclaim, “Of course we’ll help you, Sakura-chan! It’s the least we can do.” He tilted his head at Gaara expectantly prior to adding, “Right, Gaara?”

The said demon cursed profusely, continuing to frown irately even as he agreed with Naruto to accompany her to the village but warned her he wouldn’t tolerate any delays or side-trips. 

“Just give your teacher those herbs and we leave immediately,” Gaara had told her flatly before he cast a glamor over himself to appear normal, like an ordinary human while Naruto’s illusion cloaked both him and Sakura. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll have time to say goodbye to your teacher,” he whispered as he weaved the illusion over them, winking conspiratorially at her. “You ready?”

She nodded firmly. “Yes. Let’s go.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They ended up staying in her village a little bit longer than Gaara wanted but he suffered in silence, uttering nothing to anyone when Sakura embraced her shishou and presented the long awaited herbs, apologizing for the wait. Like Naruto, the tanuki demon remained close by Sakura’s side, his eyes observing every little movement, a sentinel ready to turn into a vicious warrior if there was any hint of Sakura being threatened. Tsunade, Sakura’s mentor and mother figure, merely raised her eyes at the two strangers but didn’t comment on their presence at first. She directed her attention back to her apprentice, relieved to see her safe and sound after all this time but was simultaneously puzzled when Sakura announced she had to depart the village and didn’t know when she’d be coming back.

“But Sakura, I don’t understand. What do you mean you’re leaving?” Her honey brown eyes moved from her apprentice to Naruto and Gaara, suspicion etched on her features. While Gaara stoically glared right back at her, Naruto at least attempted to act congenial by beaming toothily and waving awkwardly at Tsunade. “Do these boys have anything to do with this peculiar decision of yours?”  

Sort of. But it’s complicated.

Instead, Sakura answered, “It’s a long story, shishou, but they helped me. And right now, I just can’t stay here any more, not for a while.” Or ever. 

However, she kept that dismal line of thought to herself, stowing it in the darkest recesses of her mind because she didn’t want contemplate the possibility that this could be the last time she’d ever behold her teacher again, the only person who truly cared about her dreams and desires and offered her an apprenticeship in medicine. And if Tsunade believed there was a chance she’d see her apprentice again, then she might be more accepting in letting Sakura go with Gaara and Naruto with minimal fuss.

Even though the urge to tell Tsunade the truth, to break down in her arms and sob that she was no longer human and wouldn’t be welcomed anymore by the people who once thanked her for treating their wounds and ailments, fiercely chewed her up minute by minute, clawing at her to cave in. Instead, she steeled herself against Tsunade’s observant scrutiny and dug her fingertips into her besmirched apron, thankfully only covered in dirt and grass stains and not her own blood.

Tsunade regarded her carefully, her gaze never wavering for at least thirty seconds or so until she let out a heavy sigh and her shoulders sagged. “I know what it was like and what I craved for when I was your age so I won’t press you, Sakura. But please visit me when you can and don’t forget your training. I long to see you become a top physician in your right.” The older woman smiled fondly at her, patting her head as Sakura brightened at Tsunade’s remarks. Even with such little information given to her, Tsunade still believed in her and trusted her judgment. Maybe one day, she’ll tell Tsunade what really happened, after she became wholly accustomed to her demon body.

“Thank you, shishou. I promise I won’t let you down!” 

Her mentor nodded firmly, satisfied with the fiery resolve blooming across Sakura’s visage. “I’ll hold you to that promise, Sakura. And as for your two ‘friends’...” She turned around fully to face them with the full force of her disapproving glower and cracked her knuckles. “If either one or both of you cause my Sakura any amount of grief, pain, and misery and she doesn't break enough bones in your body, then I will personally see to it the two of you won’t be able to walk or eat solid foods for several months. Do I make myself clear?”

Despite being a demon, Naruto immediately bobbed his head, blue eyes wide and alert. “Yes, m’am!”

Gaara grunted but nodded his head slowly, unfazed by Tsunade’s menace. He probably found her mentor’s violent words amusing, just like Sakura’s presence was to him. 

Sakura groaned in her hands. Thankfully, there were no more outbursts and threats and three of them managed to leave Tsunade’s home with Naruto and Gaara in one piece. She had no idea what would be in store in her when she ventured into the world of demons, yet at least she wasn’t doing this journey alone. 

Stretching out her motley wings to get used to their height and wingspan, Sakura watched Gaara and Naruto unlock the complex  illusion that was cast over the main gateway into their clans’ lands and closed her eyes in relief. Yes, at least she wasn’t alone and would have help along the way in training and harnessing her demonic abilities and one day, be able to fly on her own. She was looking forward to that part.

“The stories got it all wrong,” she murmured to herself. “Demons aren’t so terrible after all.”  

[cillianmurphy]

ocean eyes

I wrote this small story a few weeks ago and the response @robertdowneys​ gave me made me cry so I am putting it here under cut. It is, obviously, based on Billie’s ‘Ocean Eyes’ (bold are song lyrics) and is my first piece of creative writing after 2.5 years, so if u have feedback pls let me know. It’s gender neutral btw <3 I am very nervous to put my writing out here and I can only hope whoever reads it, likes it <3

warning: extreme fluff, sad ending (death tw)

best read on desktop bc of post formatting!

-

I've been watching you  For some time

It was as if time stood still. Under the dazzling lights on the ceiling, also named the starry sky, you slowly moved throughout the crowd. With every step, people moved aside to let you pass through them. Seconds seemed like hours as you approached the person who had caught your eyes years before.  

Four years.

It had been four long years since your now betrothed caught your attention. You don’t know when your feelings for them had surfaced, but you did know they had your heart from the day you met them. For years you wished they would return the feelings you held for them. It was a drunkenness of the soul. You swore nothing came close to the feeling of being in love with the one person who would hold the key to your soul for the rest of eternity. An addiction was nothing compared to the feeling of being in love; it was intoxication.  

Can't stop staring At those oceans eyes

You don’t know why you fell in love with them. Maybe it was because of their courage, their loving heart or maybe that smile. That damned smile. Love works in mysterious ways and you don’t think you would ever know what exactly made you fall helplessly for your other half. They turned your dreams into reality; made your heart feel things you could not begin to comprehend. Your souls were tied to one another with a fierce grip, incapable of letting go of each other for even a second.  

As you approached your lover, you took a moment to take in their beauty. They were smiling gently, a smile reserved for you and you only. The tiny dimples at the edge of their lips, luscious and full. The lights of the ballroom glistened in their eyes; pinpricks of the gold above dancing in an orderly fashion.  

Those eyes.

They were beautiful beyond belief. The way the world reflected in them; you swore it made your knees weak. The colours of the iris mixed in the most exquisite way possible, caught your attention and pulled you in whenever you sneaked a glance towards your lover. It should be a criminal offence to have such mesmerising eyes, you thought. They held you captive and even if you were able to pull away, you didn’t want to. You wanted to get lost in them for hours on end.

And now, maybe now you knew why you fell in love with them in the first place. Their eyes were the windows to their soul, and they captivated you from the first glance, holding you hostage. They were the last thing you saw when you slept and the first when you woke up. When you looked in them, you saw forever. You sought comfort, love, peace in their dazzling eyes. They soothed you, words were rarely necessary.  

It was their eyes you fell in love with. And then the rest of them followed.

Burning cities And napalm skies

They held out their hand, waiting for yours. Slowly, you lifted your hand up to meet theirs and a shock of electricity went through your body. It was if your entire life with your fiancé flashed past your eyes. The good, the bad. Everything you had experienced with them, came back to you in the most intoxicating fashion. You remembered the moments where you woke up next to them, the peaceful mornings. How they dragged you off on adventures you could not begin to imagine before they took place. How you forced them to see the lighter side of life and stuck by them through the bad times, as they did for you.

Alas, life isn’t just full of good times. Like any relationship, bad times had fallen on you as well. Life isn’t always exquisite roses, sometimes it is thorns as well. Unfortunately, all love and hope could be ripped apart when you experienced just one inconvenience. It pained you to even admit it but you two had come so close to losing one another due to general stubbornness. It scared you, losing them. They were your better half, the person who had your heart and would own it for the rest of eternity. And you were theirs. You could not afford to lose one another, because once you did, there would be a gaping void in your soul, unable to be filled by even the most priceless of treasures.

Because they were your most priceless treasure, as you were theirs.  

Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes Your ocean eyes

‘Y’know … all these people are staring at us and we both know we can’t dance.’

You scoffed at their words, but they were true. Weeks of dance practice had gone by, yet it was as if you forgot all you had been taught. In your defence it wasn’t your fault, you were just reeling at the feeling of your lover’s touch on your skin. The feather light touch of their fingers gently held your waist in place whilst their arm was snaked around you. The other hand stroked your cheek with the utmost care, as if you were a porcelain doll that could break at the slightest touch. Their touch made every rational thought within you bubble away and all you could possibly focus on was them.

Only them.

Nothing else was needed. Even in the crowded ballroom, it was just you and them against the world. Whisking you through the room, they twirled you away from them, yet you were still so close. All that time, their eyes on yours. Nothing else mattered. It was just the two of you, and that’s the way it was meant to be. 

No fair You really know how to make me cry When you gimme those ocean eyes

This was supposed to be a happy day. A happy day, without any feelings of sadness. But if it was so happy, why were you crying, your lover thought. Did they do something wrong? Did they accidentally step on your feet whilst dancing? Damn it, they knew they should’ve gotten the shoes that didn’t have a sturdy heel. Another tear slipped from your eye and they wiped it away with their sleeve, looking into your eyes and voicing the concerns they had, without words.

‘I’m fine, I just,’

An unsteady gasp crossed your lips as your chest shook. You were unable to keep your tears from falling. You felt yourself stop moving and warm hands placed themselves on your cheeks, their nose rubbing yours. You felt them wipe your tears away as they held you close. More sobs wracked your body and you shuddered in their touch. They were so warm, so why on earth did you feel so cold? Their eyes, those eyes, looked down at you in worry and you felt so selfish. They thought they had done something wrong when it was the complete opposite.

They could do no wrong. They were your angel, sent down from the heavens. Well, a faulty angel, but an angel, nonetheless.  

‘I never thought I would have this moment. And feel so loved.’ you stated, looking up at them. And it was true. You never thought you were capable of being loved in the way you were now. The insecurities piled up over several years and though you tried to convince yourself you weren’t what others deemed you, you couldn’t help it.

Unlovable, ugly, not suitable.

They had taken their toll on you and you believed everything they said about you were true, until you met the person who convinced you that you were not. The person who currently held your hand with their larger one, kissing your knuckles lightly, their eyes not leaving yours. Their eyes brimmed with tears, as they knew what you were talking about in great detail. They knew every insecurity; every worry, and they’d be damned before they ever let you think about yourself in such a degrading way again.  

Grabbing your sides gently, they whisked you away again. The two of you danced for what felt like an eternity, until you stopped. They pulled you closer to them and tried to show all their love for you through their eyes. And you’d be a liar if you said they didn’t succeed.  

I'm scared I've never fallen from quite this high Falling into your ocean eyes Those ocean eyes

Everything would be alright. The rest of the night was spent in a blur, dancing to the gentle beat of the music, and most of it you spent staring into their eyes. They soothed you, made you calm down and made you feel so loved. Who needed ‘I love you’s’ in words when the same message could be conveyed through eyes? Eyes were the windows to the soul, and you saw your lover’s soul glistening through their eyes, and it was blinding; intoxicating. Those eyes told you that, yes, hard times would come and go, but good times would outnumber them. They comforted you and made you forget your insecurities and doubts. They made you feel whole; complete in unimaginable ways. A cluster of a thousand stars wouldn’t be able to generate the light and warmth that coursed through your body when you looked at their eyes.

Their ocean eyes.  

I've been walking through A world gone blind Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind

Good times don’t last. Surely everyone knew that? Life is unpredictable and so unfair. There were a multitude of awful people the world who could’ve been taken away. People who were a disgrace to humanity. People who did not deserve to walk the earth.

So why them?

Why the one person who had so much love to give and asked for nothing in return? Why the one person who made you feel loved and whole? Why them? Why?

The day your lover died in a car crash, your world died with it. There was no reason to live anymore. You always selfishly hoped that you would be the one to die first. That way you would not have to feel the pain of your soulmate dying.

And what a pain it was.

You had heard childbirth was the worst pain on earth. Every mother you met confirmed this. But this? Losing your loved one; your other half to such a cruel fate, was it really less of a pain than pushing a kid out?

It wasn’t, you concluded.  

Because that pain would ease and slowly become nothing. Not having the person you were dependant on, to love you anymore, to help you out of the dark void, it was a pain that tore at your soul, ripping it apart into hundreds of fragments, unable to be repaired.  

Careful creature Made friends with time He left her lonely with a diamond mind And those ocean eyes

‘You know I’ll never leave you sweetheart.’ They once said, after you voiced your concerns. Your initial fears, that you were unlovable, had risen again and you had been harbouring those feelings for so long. At one point you were scared that they would see you for the broken person you were and realise they were wrong in loving you.

‘Promise?’ You sniffled, extending your pinky finger towards them. They laughed, what a beautiful laugh and nodded, wrapping their finger around yours and what they said next made you laugh at their fandom references, which were in abundance.  

‘Pinky promise meleth nin.’  

--

They lied, you sobbed. They lied. They promised they wouldn’t leave you but here you were, gaping hole in your heart. Nothing would ever soothe the pain you felt, for only they could, but they left. They broke their promise. Why was life so cruel? It was a curse to be left on this cold earth, so empty of love after their departure. Your soul broke in two every day and you tried, oh you tried to soothe yourself by thinking of the one thing that soothed you all those years before.

Their ocean eyes.

END

Note: meleth nin means ‘my love’ in elvish (hobbit reference)

[angryinternetduck]

Sunflower, Volume Five

a teeny bit over 2.2k words on writing music, first impressions, and peppermint. no warnings I can think of. this is part five of the Sunflower Series! happy reading :) 

part one | part two | part three | part four 

Only Angel was, in fact, fun to record, although it got quite a bit irritating after playing through six or seven times, as all songs seemed to do. They got through it, though, and Carolina too, before setting aside a day for just writing. 

Harry worked with Olivia and Charlotte to finalize the melody for the song Olivia had come up with a few weeks before, which actually worked brilliantly, and they were finished with the melody and sound the night they started.

Charlotte decided to head to a bar with the others, but Harry stayed with Olivia to start working on the lyrics. He was sat at the piano, a pencil behind his ear and his notebook propped in front of him. 

As soon as Charlotte left the room, Olivia grinned and jumped onto the lid of the piano, sliding across its surface to sit in front of Harry with her guitar on her lap. Harry raised an eyebrow at her, and she shrugged innocently. “What?” 

“Charlotte would have a fit if she saw you like that.” 

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Olivia replied with a wink. 

“Whatever you say,” Harry laughed. He handed her the notebook and asked, “Have any ideas, then?” Olivia sighed, slipping the pencil from behind Harry’s ear and fiddling with it. “Well, I was thinking about the whole…” She paused, tapping the eraser of the pencil against the piano before asking, “You know the whole, oh, it’s a sign of the times, thing?”

“Er - yeah, sort of.” 

“What if we did something along those lines?” 

“Yeah, it sort of sounds like that, doesn’t it? All sad and shit?” Olivia nodded, and Harry played the melody again. He frowned, playing it again, and then remembered, “Oh, and there was something Char and I were working on -” He started again, singing along. “Just stop your crying, it’ll be alright…” 

“Yeah!” Olivia exclaimed. “It could be that and - and, uh - just stop your crying, and then, it’s a sign of the times.” Harry nodded. “Yeah, yeah, that works.” He played it again, twice, once with each ending, and then Olivia played the chords on her guitar and echoed softly, “Sad and shit.” She looked up. “Like the end of the world, huh?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“...just stop your crying,” Olivia sang, “it’s a sign of the times… now that it’s the - hope it’s not the final…” She frowned. “Welcome to the final show…” Harry nodded, playing the melody, and added, “Hope you’re wearing your best clothes…” 

Olivia grinned and mimicked his accent, “Proper brilliant, you are.”

Harry scoffed, looking up at her. “I don’t sound like that at all!” 

“Whatever,” Olivia murmured with a grin, picking up the pencil and writing something down in the notebook. Harry messed about on the piano, suggesting more lyrics, and Olivia added on. 

They stayed up well past two am, just playing with words and phrases until the others came back from the bar. Olivia slid off the piano only after they’d gotten through a verse and finished the chorus, and Harry was tempted to kiss her when she said goodnight before walking into her room. 

Instead, he told himself not to be a fool and went to bed. 

♬♩♪♩

They finished Sign of the Times fairly quickly, but recording it took a while. The song Olivia had started eventually became Ever Since New York, which was recorded pretty fast. Jeff was pressuring them to finalize more songs, though, so they took off another day to dedicate to writing. 

Unfortunately, Harry was pretty brain dead by then, what with staying up for hours with Olivia to finish both Sign of the Times and Ever Since New York, so he spent most of the day just resting and watching rom coms with Adam and Charlotte while Olivia and Sarah sat in the other room working on Comfortable Silence. 

A few minutes into My Best Friend’s Wedding, a paper airplane landed on his lap. He glanced into the other room, confused, and Sarah was rolling her eyes as Olivia grinned and gestured for him to open it. 

To Julia Roberts’s biggest fangirl in the living room - 

Sooo I called my friend who just got dumped (heartbreak is the best inspo yk)... 

I saw your friend that I met last year

They said you’re happy now

I see you gave them my old T-shirt

That really hurt like hell

They say it silently, no not with their words

But oh yes it’s written, it’s all over their face - 

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why don’t you ever tell me straight to my face? 

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too… 

idk about some of that but uhhhh idk

So. Thoughts? 

From, the dining table

Harry read it over again and nodded, flashing her the thumbs up, but Olivia shook her head. She mimed writing, and Harry frowned, glancing around him for a pencil, and Olivia sighed, chucking a pencil at him. 

Charlotte squeaked as it hit her in the arm, and Harry rolled his eyes, smiling despite himself. “Sorry, Char,” he murmured, then scribbled out Like it before folding it back up and haphazardly throwing it back. 

It didn’t quite work, but Olivia slid it towards her with her foot and opened it back up. 

She wrote something down, and Harry watched her instead of the movie, and then Olivia threw it back. ur so boring, she’d written, and Harry scoffed, glancing over at her. He put a hand to his chest in mock hurt, and Olivia grinned. 

Under that, she’d added more to the song. 

I hope one day you’ll call me to tell me that you’re sorry too

But you, you never do

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

Harry grinned and wrote, You’re awful dramatic, Liv - it was two weeks. He threw it towards her, and she unfolded it, read it, and flipped him off. She whispered something to Sarah, who laughed, and Harry smiled and turned back to the movie. 

♬♩♪♩

Harry was starting to wonder if Olivia ever slept. 

He’d come out on the porch a few days later, unable to sleep after a day long nap caused by a killer hangover, and there she was, smoking a cigar and playing her guitar softly. “Hello,” Harry said, and she looked up. “Hey,” she replied, sliding over on the bench swing. 

Harry sat next to her, taking the cigar when she offered it, and inhaled deeply. “‘s good,” he said. “Sweet.” Olivia nodded. “Mhmm. Toffee, apparently.” She leaned back, fiddling with her guitar pick, and stared at the water. 

Harry breathed another puff of smoke, handed it back to her, and asked, “What’d you think when you first saw me?” Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Why?” Harry rolled his eyes with a smile. “You’re always asking these deep questions - give me a chance, hm?” 

There was a beat of silence as she seemed to study him, and it took all of Harry’s willpower to keep eye contact as she tucked her lip between her teeth and her brow furrowed, lost in thought. 

“I thought you were awkward,” she finally said, and Harry scoffed a laugh. “You’re joking.” Olivia quirked a smile, looking back at the water and lifting the cigar to her lips. “No, really.” She smirked. “Awkward and desperate.” 

“Right, well, now you’re just bullying me.” 

“Oh, please,” Olivia laughed. “You didn’t even say anything! You were like, hi, and that was it! I had to, like, scramble to come up with something!” Harry scoffed again, shaking his head. “If I remember correctly -” 

“Which you don’t,” she cut in with a grin. 

He shot her a mocking glare and went on, “You were the one who didn’t say anything at first, and then I introduced myself!” Olivia sighed and shook her head. “We were both awkward,” she concluded, and Harry rolled his eyes. “Agree to disagree.” 

“God, that show sucked,” Olivia murmured, exhaling and trying to make a smoke ring before smiling at him. “Still can’t believe you wanted me in your band after that disaster.” Harry let his jaw drop dramatically. “You were amazing!” 

Olivia scoffed, shaking her head. “I was awful! I forgot half the lyrics and fucked up all the chords ‘cause I was staring at -” She cut herself off, shaking her head again, and Harry grinned. “Staring at…?” he prodded. 

“There was this band there that night,” Olivia said, “and one of its members” - she breathed a dreamy sigh - “oh, he was just gorgeous! I couldn’t take my eyes off him!” She grinned, mocking curiosity and propping her chin on her fist. “I can’t seem to remember his name…” 

“Does it start with an H, perhaps?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow and mocking curiosity right back, but Olivia shook her head, fiddling with the cigar. “Nope,” she said with a giggle. “Think it was a Z,” she said. “Zach? Zeke? Ah - Zayn.” 

Harry laughed, shaking his head. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered.

“Jealous, Styles?” 

“You wish,” Harry replied with a grin. 

There was a beat of silence. 

Olivia leaned in a bit, her eyes flickering to his lips. “Harry?” she murmured. 

“Hm?” 

She bit her lip. “I don’t wanna be alone,” she whispered. 

Harry smiled a bit, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to be, Liv.” 

She met his gaze, her eyes wide and earnest. “Promise not to break my heart?” 

“I promise,” Harry breathed. 

And then she leaned forward, and Harry did too, and suddenly, they were kissing. 

She tasted like peppermint, like toffee and vanilla and mint and smoke. She was sunshine and sugar, her lips fitting with his like puzzle pieces. She was smiling against his lips, and Harry smiled too, because she was perfect, because they were perfect, because everything was perfect. 

♬♩♪♩

Harry woke up late again the next morning.

Olivia wasn’t next to him.

So Harry stood up, and stretched, and walked to the kitchen.

Olivia was at the table, on her mobile, eating toast.

“Morning,” Harry said.

“Hi!” she chirped. 

“Where’re the others?” Harry asked, and Olivia sighed. “Went to the beach, according to Sarah…” Harry raised an eyebrow as he poured a cup of coffee. “Without us?” Olivia nodded. “I know. Ridiculous.” Harry smiled, stepping behind her and glancing at the screen of her phone. 

“Ooh, dancehall,” he hummed, slipping the phone from her fingers. He clicked a random one, set it on the counter next to his coffee, and held out his hand. “Olivia,” he said, with all the seriousness he could muster, “may I have this dance?” 

She slid his coffee towards her and took a sip. “Can’t. I’m drinking coffee.” 

“Pleeeease?” Harry dragged. “I’m bored, Liv, and the house is empty. C’mon, then.” He began to dance as the music started and held out a hand. Olivia pouted. “I can’t dance,” she told him, and Harry rolled his eyes. “Prove it.”  

She gave a reluctant smile and took it.

He spun her around, and she giggled.

They danced until Olivia somehow managed to end up on the kitchen island with Harry stood between her legs, snogging breathlessly, and Harry only realized the music had stopped when Olivia pulled back and murmured, “Gotta find another song…” 

“Rather have a bloody song than me, hm?” 

Olivia grinned, kissing his nose as she grabbed her phone. “Hey, it’s got a good melody,” she insisted, flicking through YouTube to find another video. Harry pouted, kissing her again, and said, “Want you more than any melody, Liv…” 

“Fuckin’ sap,” Olivia giggled, finally finding a song and pushing her phone away to properly kiss him. Harry smiled, but Olivia sighed, pulling away again. “Others’ll be back soon,” she said, and Harry rolled his eyes. “Don’t care,” he said, kissing her. 

Olivia laughed, sliding off the counter. She held her hand out to him and, in a pitiful imitation of his British accent, she said, “Dance with me, Mr. Styles.” Harry grinned. “Only if you promise never to do that accent again.” 

“Easy enough,” Olivia replied, and Harry took her hand. 

And they twirled and laughed and kissed in the kitchen like it was a dance floor.

♬♩♪♩

Jamaica ended too soon.

Harry was on a plane before he knew it, heading back to rainy London.

It was good, though, he supposed. He was getting a tad home sick.

They’d written about sixty songs. Most of them were rubbish. Well, most of them weren’t even songs. More like notes mashed together that were sort of jokes but not quite. They’d gotten some good ones, though, and Harry considered the trip a success.

It was kind of strange being without the band, though.

It was very strange being without Olivia. She was going to come to London with him, but she was needed in America for something or other. But she’d given him a few cigars, and he smoked one when he got back home to London.

It was good. Tasted like peppermint.

♬♩♪♩

aaaannnnd there she is!!!! all finished!!!!! hope u enjoyed!

tell me: 

1. your favorite song on hs1 2. your most recent dream  3. your favorite holiday or!!!! tell me anything your heart desires! feedback is always much appreciated :) 

and if you like what you see, you can find the Sunflower Series’s masterlist here, Fine Line: Side A’s masterlist here, and my complete masterlist here! 

sunflower, vol. 6

[tell-me-when-ur-ready]

This Thing Called Love (part seven)

Summary: When Shawn meets dancer Kellie in Toronto, he falls for her—hard. But Kellie has an invisible disability and thinks it’s impossible that someone could really love her the way she is.

Author’s note: PHEW things are getting good. The usual disclaimer: I have multiple chronic illnesses that are similar to Kellie’s, but not the exact same health conditions she has, so I apologize if I get anything wrong.

Warnings: language? just once lol

Word count: 2k

Kellie and Shawn didn’t talk to each other for two full weeks. It wasn’t for lack of trying on his part; Shawn continued texting her and calling her and trying to connect with her, but Kellie thought it was better to just make a clean break. It would be better in the long run for both of them.

Shawn had gotten Mackenzie’s number at some point during the summer (something Mackenzie had been way too excited about at the time), and he was using it now. Each evening, Mackenzie would show Kellie the latest texts.

Can you tell Kellie to call me?

Has Kellie said anything to you?

Ask Kellie what I did wrong.

“That boy’s in loooooove,” Mackenzie said, delighted, at first. But she got a little more exasperated as the days dragged by and the summer started to wane. “Kellie, this is just cruel,” she finally said. “Why won’t you date him? Because you think he’ll be scared away if he sees your health issues up close?”

Kellie shrugged uncomfortably and looked away.

“You could at least tell him that instead of just leaving him hanging. See what he says,” Mackenzie said, pursing her lips disapprovingly. But Kellie just shrugged again.

Shawn wasn’t the only one who was suffering. Stress affected chronic migraines, making them worse, and Kellie got so sick during those two weeks she almost forgot about Shawn altogether. The second week, she was only able to go to work one day; the other four days, she was at home in the darkness, lying in bed and periodically running to the bathroom to throw up.

 She’d gotten used to texting Shawn when she felt bad. But that wasn’t an option anymore. At least, that’s what Kellie kept telling herself.

 “I can’t do this,” she sobbed on the phone to her mom one Friday night. “I’m going to lose my jobs.”

 “Slow down,” her mom said. Kellie’s family lived an hour away, more north of Atlanta, so Kellie’s mom could no longer help take care of her when she flared up. Mackenzie had brought home groceries that day and Shelby had gotten Kellie’s prescriptions for her, but they were out with friends now. And Kellie didn’t want to burden them any further, anyway. She’d been upfront with them about her health issues when they decided to all move in together, but they weren’t obligated to babysit her.

 “But I am,” Kellie said. She wiped at her eyes. “Going to lose my jobs, I mean. I can’t work, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything.”

 “Is this at all related to Shawn?” her mom asked. “You haven’t mentioned him lately.”

 Kellie sighed. She’d told her mom (who had never heard of Shawn) about the music video, of course, and had vaguely said that she was staying in touch with Shawn and liked him a lot. But that was all her mother knew.

 “I mean, we haven’t talked in a couple of weeks. But it’s not a big deal.” That second part was a lie. “I’m way more worried about how I can pay rent. I can only call out of work sick so many times.” That, unfortunately, was the truth.

 But somehow, she woke up the next morning feeling better. She was able to keep breakfast down; her migraine was almost completely gone. Kellie rested all day Saturday anyway, to get her energy back up, and went into the dance studio Sunday.

 When she got home, exhausted but feeling a little happier after a few hours of teaching a lyrical workshop, she started pulling ingredients for a smoothie out of the cabinets. Someone knocked on the door, and she wiped her hands and went to get it; Mackenzie and Shelby were both at work, and she didn’t think they were expecting anybody.

 The door swung open and Shawn was standing there.

 Kellie’s first thought was that she looked awful, sweaty and tired with her hair in a messy bun (not the cute kind, but the actually-messy kind). Her second thought, which she said out loud, was, “Mackenzie.”

 Shawn shoved his hands in his pockets and smirked a little. “I like Mackenzie,” he said conversationally.

 “Well, she’s not here,” Kellie snapped, moving to shut the door. She didn’t know if she would have actually closed it in his face, but before it was halfway shut, he had reached out to stop her.

 “Can I come in?” he said, his face serious now. Reluctantly, Kellie nodded.

 Thankfully, the apartment was relatively clean at the moment. Their squishy couch was covered in pink pillows and the kitchen island held a stack of books and a pair of pointe shoes; out the window, you could see the hanging plants Shelby had installed on the balcony, green leaves swinging in the breeze.

 “Cute,” Shawn said, looking around. He slung his backpack to the ground and turned and looked at her, leaning against the counter. “Hi,” he said, his eyes going soft.

 “I’m sorry,” Kellie blurted out. But before she could get anything else out, the door opened again and Mackenzie came flying in.

 “Shit, he’s already here? I thought I was going to get home first,” she exclaimed, breathless. “I was going to prepare you—” She looked at Kellie apologetically.

 “I should have known you would do something like this,” Kellie said with a heavy sigh, glaring at her. Secretly, something inside her had lit up at the sight of Shawn’s face—but she didn’t really want him here, because now she had to face the reality of all her complicated, messy emotions and the things those emotions had made her do.

 “Sorry,” Mackenzie said, not sounding sorry at all. She held up her hand for Shawn to give her a high five.

 “Nice to finally meet you,” he said, sounding amused.

 “Go fix all of your problems,” Mackenzie said. She waved her hands at them in a shoo-ing motion.

 Kellie frowned at her. “Life is not a rom-com. It’s not always that easy.”

 Mackenzie shrugged, patted Shawn on the back, and disappeared into her bedroom with one last bright smile over her shoulder.

 There was a moment of awkward silence. Then Shawn said, “Are you feeling okay today? Do you wanna—go somewhere and talk?”

 “Yeah,” Kellie said shyly, figuring there was no way around it now. “I guess so.”

 She slid her feet into flip-flops and they went down to the parking lot of her apartment complex. On the sidewalk, Shawn rubbed a hand across the back of his neck and said, “Uh, so I might not have totally thought this through. I caught an Uber from the airport and they didn’t stay. Do you… feel well enough to drive?”

 She did giggle then, a real one, and Shawn smiled, obviously encouraged.

 “I guess so,” she said, and she was fishing out her keys when Shawn stopped her with a hand on her arm.

 “Really?” he asked seriously. “Because I don’t want you to feel like you have to say that. And I have a little self-interest here, too, since I’ll be in the car…”

 It was so different from what others said. If Kellie was starting a migraine or getting over one, she didn’t feel as if she could drive safely because of the pain and disorientation the migraines caused. Her friends didn’t always understand that. With Shawn, though, it was like he truly understood what her disability and her life were like—or at least, he was really trying. For the first time, Kellie felt like this might actually work.

 “Yeah,” she said softly, and nodded.

 She drove them to a park ten minutes away, trying not to be embarrassed about her dirty old Toyota, most of the drive spent in silence except for a few questions from Shawn about places they were passing. When they got to the park, they sat down on a picnic bench overlooking the baseball fields where teams were beginning to warm up for a late afternoon game; Shawn sat on the opposite side of the bench from Kellie and twisted the rings on his fingers.

 “So,” he said after a moment. “I want you to talk to me. Really talk to me. Mackenzie told me—some—”

 “Probably too much,” Kellie said with a rueful smile. Her voice sounded hoarse and strange and she cleared her throat. Her stomach was feeling fluttery, but for once that had nothing to do with Celiac.

 “But I want to hear it from you,” he finished. He stopped fidgeting and set his hands flat on the table, looking straight at her. His gaze was a little frantic and a little wistful, but there was a certain steadiness to it, too. “Please.”

 Above them, the wind blew through the leaves; from down the hill came faint yelling and the clang of a baseball hitting a composite bat.

 “Okay,” Kellie said slowly. She licked her lips and looked down at the rough wooden table, then looked back up, latching onto the steadiness in his eyes. “I just—okay. It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I do want to; I want to so badly. But I feel like I can’t. Because…”

 And she went on, describing how she felt as if it was unfair to the other person to try to be in a relationship, because she was constantly canceling plans and resting in bed and too busy caring for herself to think about anybody else. She talked about how she was scared to be with somebody because she thought, even if they said they didn’t care, they would see the real her—Celiac and chronic migraines included—when they started dating, realize everything that entailed, and wouldn’t stay. She explained how her life was unpredictable and how sometimes her physical problems affected her mental health and how she was so used to being alone in her pain she just didn’t know what it would look like to have someone by her side.

 When she finished, Shawn was silent for a moment. Kellie swallowed and wished she’d brought along a bottle of water for her dry throat.

 “You know the thing you left out in all that?” Shawn said softly. Kellie shook her head.

 “I love you,” Shawn said frankly. Kellie stared at him, mute, feeling her eyebrows draw together in something like shock or maybe disbelief.

 “Or, I think I would,” he added, “if I had the chance. And I think love makes all that other stuff not matter. I think, I mean I know, you can’t help that you have health problems, and I think everyone is afraid for someone to see the real them. But I think the real you is what someone should want in a real relationship. And I think… I mean, I know… if you give me a chance, I won’t leave. I’ll stay.”

 Kellie felt tears prick at the back of her eyes and turned away slightly, bringing a hand to her face.

 “Are you upset?” Shawn asked, his voice full of concern. An entire baseball team was walking by them, metal cleats crunching on the sidewalk, but Shawn never took his eyes off of her.

 “No,” she choked out. “I’m happy. I—no one’s ever said anything like that to me before. But I’m still scared.”

 He reached out and gently pried her hand away from her face, taking it in his own.

 “Do you think I’m not scared?” he said, laughing a little, almost incredulous. “Kell, I’m scared too. I’m scared for you to discover the real me. I’m scared my anxiety will get bad again and I’ll shut everyone out. I’m scared of what it might be like to have a relationship that’s inevitably going to be very public. I’m scared because you’re really pretty and I don’t want to say something stupid and sound dumb.”

 Kellie laughed through the tears that were now dropping on her face. She brought her other hand up to wipe them away and cover her eyes, but he captured that one too, not letting her hide.

 “But I think,” he said, low, “we can’t let fear dictate our lives.”

 There was a long moment of silence while all the things they’d said hung in the air.

 “Okay,” Kellie whispered finally, and Shawn looked at her steadily.

 “Okay?” he repeated, and she nodded. He smiled. And then she asked, “Do you have a tissue?”

Taglist: @rosiemercy@ @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @evibesss @tnhmblive (let me know if you want to be added/removed)

[monohart]

clouds. (college!au)

ft. mark lee, sunny days and the brink of adolescence.

dating the campus’ radio dj was not an easy job

he was always, always busy, especially in the evenings.

he was exempted from 2/3 of his classes this semester to fit in broadcasting sessions and also to mentor the new broadcasters.

apparently they recruited a freshman, jisung. but he was a shy little bean, and mark needed to spend a lot more hours mentoring him.

which kinda meant that you would spend less time with your boyfriend

thankfully, y’all had similar classes.

there was this one class which was a capstone subject

which meant if u want to graduate u HAD to take it lol

and he aced all of the assessments in that subject so far this year

but you were just a bit competitive, so with exams coming, you planned to score a higher grade than him

which.. was an easy job, right? he spent most of his nights hosting the radio show anyway.

it both bugged and made you so extremely proud that mark was already getting proper job offers from major broadcasting channels

like when he got his first offer, he actually just finished a broadcast at around 3am, and was on the way back home

but he read the email on his phone and took a detour to your apartment

which scared the sh*t out of you

mark its almost 4am you could’ve just sent me a text??

“i don’t care i just needed to tell you this in person, oh my goodness is this even real????”

idk mark you tell me???

it was real, because he started getting offer after offer in the following week

but thankfully he didn’t pop by your place in the middle of the night again, after that first time

because you actually let him stay over that night and -

he held you in his arms as he leant against your headboard

and you just used him as a pillow because he you made him take a quick shower and he smelt of your soap but he still smelled of him and it was a comforting scent which sent you off the dreamland real quick

and he actually watched you fall asleep and made sure you were asleep before he pulled out his laptop to work on an assignment that was due the next day

when you woke up the next morning, you felt something cold and hard prod your back and you panicked for a moment before realising it was his laptop

and you heard the shower running so you knew it was mark going through his morning routine

but then you thought.... did he even sleep?

when he hopped out of the bathroom clad in same the clothes he wore the night before, he was still drying his hair with a towel

and his face was strew with exhaustion

but as soon as he saw you sitting groggily on the edge of your bed, his face lit up and he strode over to kiss the top of your head

“mark, did you even sleep?”

“nope, but i’m off again, i’ve got to hand in my assignment! i’ll see you for lunch?”

“wait what assignment?? did you need help on it?”

“nope, i got it done last night! thanks for letting me crash.”

before you could stop him, he pressed a hasty kiss on your lips before grabbing his laptop and bag and rushed out the door

and you sigh because

this was how dating mark lee, the campus dj, was like.

anyway

now, you guys were just a few days away from finishing the semester’s classes

and this was your last semester... given if you’ll pass the exams lol

so it was kinda the last few days you’d be able to spend together, on campus.

summer was coming

and the sun was so bright these days, it cleared the skies

no rain, none at all

which was not entirely Great because rainy days helped you study... and rainy days also meant more people tuned in on the campus radio

which meant

mark was kinda jobless today

which ALSO meant!!!

you could finally spend a whole day with him.

but, oh man...

when he called you around 11pm the night before, he was also checking his email and ... accidentally forgot that he had another assignment due at 8am the following morning

guess who didn’t get any sleep at all again!!!

your heart hurt seeing him work so hard

but somehow he convinced you to go to sleep first and not stay up to help him

he still got the assignment in on time because hes mark lee

so when you guys sat on the lawn in the middle of campus just like any typical college couple would on a nice sunny day, mark lay his head on your lap and used one of your textbooks to shield his eyes from the sun

and you were using his laptop to compile your notes from the semester, and also to help him tidy up his

“hey baby...?”

“hmm?”

you waited for mark to continue his sentence but he went silent

“mark, what?”

“mark-”

you lifted your textbook from his face only to find that he had fallen asleep.

his lips were slightly parted and he was snoring really quietly, and his fingers were in loose fists as they rested on his belly.

dont deny but you busted the biggest uwu didnt you

ofc like

you couldn’t possibly waste this precious photo opportunity but

your phone was just slightly out of reach rip

so when you grappled for it, mark woke up in an instant

he sat up real quick, and a tuft of his hair was sticking up messily.

“oh no, i didnt mean to-”

“so d’you wonder why we’re all clouds?”

you stared at each other with equally as confused frowns lol

like mark was actually

hella confused

but your expression literally read wtf

he didn’t really notice but instead yawned and held his arm out to you

and you move closer to him, snuggling into his side as he slowly lays the both of you down again, in a way so you could use his arm as a pillow.

the sun was really really bright so y’all lay there with your eyes squished shut

“we’re all just clouds, aren’t we?”

his serious question was met by your quiet scoff

“no, no, i’m for real. y’know how everything we do are for exams. exams this, assignments that... gpa... scores.. grades... deadlines... those kinda things. they turn us into clouds.”

“that is one extremely weird way to describe college students, mark.”

“no, baby, but... it’s accurate, isn’t it? the anxiety, stress, exhaustion... and just about everything we do turn us all into little clouds.”

“do elaborate, cause i don’t get why you’re comparing us to condensed water vapour.”

mark chuckled a little, and you roll your eyes figuratively, keeping your eyes tightly shut to shield it from the unforgiving sun.

"actually, never mind, it sounded way better in my head.”

at that point you were getting up to lie on your side

he turned his head and squinted at you as you gently placed a hand on his chest

"are you writing lyrics again?”

he hummed quietly and you shift a few inches closer to him.

“show me. i want to read those lyrics, no matter how dumb you think they are.”

“they’re not ready yet.”

“if you’re writing about anxiety, i can be your muse.”

“no way, you’re not a cloud. you’re a sunflower.”

he wrote lyrics all the time and most of the time he’d write them about you

sometimes he’d let you read them, sometimes he kept them to himself

and you’d catch him grinning idiotically over some lyric he wrote some time ago

so when he goes to sleep you would sneak a peak at it and it’s basically a love letter to first-date-you, or a diary entry of how he feels every time he sends u home from a date or from school but its so dreamy and seems unreal but you kNOW ITS REAL!!

bc u were there!!

anyway 

idk what came over you but you slung an arm around his torso and rested your head against his shoulder and he let out a quiet little puff of breath

you would think he’s pretty ok with skinship since y’all been together for so long

but yeah it was chill and okay and he’d be super clingy at home but when y’all were in public

man,,, he got so flustered and nervous

u just wanted to cuddle lol but he suddenly turned into a robot

the sun made everything seem slow and warm and sluggish which was pretty okay with you because you were finally spending time with mark!!!

and he was soft and squishy and a little bit awkward but so so so cute so u rly just wanted the moment to last longer

but no

just as u were about to drift off a Shadow™ loomed over u both

mark probably fell asleep again tbh

u heard a rly loud camera go CLICK and distinct voices whisper-yelling at each other

and there was a struggle

and the struggle ended with a Butt falling onto mark’s other shoulder

“MARK IM SO SORRY RENJUN PUSHED ME”

“NO YOU STINK YOU FELL BY YOURSELF”

“oh hey guys shut up the photo turned out alright”

“JENO SHUT UP THEY’RE RIGHT THERE”

mark was sitting up and you fussed over his other shoulder which was attacked by jaemin’s butt

and although he was so .. unfortunately.. woken up from his nap he was grinning and squinting up at his squabbling friends

and he chuckled as he watched u stand up and wrestle jeno for his phone to see the Photo

he was watching you chase chenle and renjun around the lawn, the two boys purposefully running slower to tease u

donghyuck sat down next to mark and put his head on his shoulder to mimic you from a few minutes ago

“oh you’re disgusting please go away.”

hyuck turned his head and batted his eyelashes up at mark who was still watching u with a dreamy smile

“you’re leaving soon, we just wanted to spend time with you before u abandon us”

mark laughed and told him he’s only graduating

but hyuck scowled and nudged mark with his elbow then gestured in your direction

“but you spend more time with her nowadays than you do with us”

mark let out a loud laugh and shook his head

“she’s my girlfriend.”

“so?”

“she’s my lover.”

“so??”

“she’s... everything to me.”

jisung, who was listening, gagged and haechan slapped mark’s tummy while hollering

and then u look over at them from the other side of the lawn, wondering why mark was lying on the floor again and why the other dreamies were surrounding him in a cultish circle

jeno and jaemin turned to face you with big chummy smiles on their faces and together they made heart arms at u

some other people on the lawn were beginning to stare and so u hide behind chenle bc renjun is too tiny

then jisung must’ve texted their group chat because renjun cackles and leads you back to the group

and u notice how bright mark’s face was which makes u blush like crazy as well

and even though stress from school, work and everything in general, was making u feel like a big and heavy raincloud

one look at mark lee made u feel like sunflowers and daisies

it totally didn’t help that when he’d look at you, the corners of his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, and his eyes would shine with genuine adoration

and his cute little lips would stretch into the widest grin

uwu

and u bet the next batch of lyrics he gonna write is gonna be about you again!!

[bard-llama]

That Wild Blue Yonder Ch 3

Read on AO3

First Chapter | Previous Chapter

When Jaskier woke, it was dark outside and he felt groggy in that weird way where he wasn’t really tired anymore, but he also didn’t feel awake. He yawned expansively and rolled himself out of bed. After a shower and some breakfast, he felt a lot more alive, but he was also kind of convinced he’d had a really intense dream.

This wasn’t Narnia. Wardrobes didn’t just lead to magical worlds.

But it wouldn’t hurt to check, right?

Jaskier hummed to himself as he leisurely walked down the corridors of the somehow-still-hot castle. Wasn’t stone supposed to insulate? Why was it still so muggy and hot inside?

Well, Jaskier told himself, if it was real and there was a magic world through the closet, then he could go somewhere nice and cool. He skipped around the corner and stopped abruptly in front of the stairs he’d fallen down before. He preferred not to repeat that bit of the dream/potential cool new reality. His shoulders ached with the memory of busting through the wooden wardrobe door.

Which was why the sight in front of him was so disappointing. The wardrobe was there, but the door looked good as – well, not new, because the whole thing looked really, really old, but it wasn’t broken. If it was real, the door should have been broken.

Mood suddenly sullen, Jaskier pulled the door open with more force than necessary. He took a deep breath and then pushed the hangers aside.

It was real. He felt like he might cry at the sight of the stone castle on the other side of the passageway. Mood immediately restore, Jaskier wiggled through the passageway and rolled into a cartwheel when he emerged on the other side.

“Madeline~” he called. “It’s Jaskier! From last night! I’m so glad it wasn’t a dream!”

There was a high pitch squeak from the next room and Madeline’s voice called out, “hold on.” After a few moments, she emerged, looking surprisingly put together considering she was followed out by a woman with long hair who was wearing clothing that was much drabber than Madeline’s.

She curtsied to him, and walked quickly past him until she disappeared from view. Jaskier turned to Madeline with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “So who was that?”

Madeline rolled her eyes and waved him into her room. “That was Genevieve, and dammit, before you interrupted, I was soooo close to her saying yes.” She dropped onto her bed and sighed dramatically. “She responds so well to my flirting, but I don’t know if she’s just that shy or if I’m seeing things.”

“Well, how long have you been flirting?” Jaskier wandered over to her actual wardrobe – why did she have another in a separate room, anyway? – and started looking through her clothes, holding a few dresses up to himself consideringly.

“Three years.”

“Wow.” Jaskier blinked and turned to her, a long sleeveless off-white dress in hand. The fabric of it was soft and he couldn’t stop running his fingers over it. “You’re sure she knows you’re flirting?”

Madeline shot him a long suffering look. “I gave up being subtle after the first year.” She shook her head. “Why is dating so hard?”

“Amen to that.”

Her brow crinkled. “A-what?”

“It’s – eh, nevermind. Just a way to say, ‘I feel ya’.” Jaskier held up the dress. “This is so soft. Can I try it on?”

Madeline blinked in surprise, but shrugged. “Go for it. Do they not have satin in your world?”

Jaskier shrugged. “They totally do, I’ve just never worn it, I guess. But I’m definitely gonna start!”

He shucked his t-shirt and skinny jeans and pulled the dress on over his head. Madeline laughed when he got stuck, but she got up and helped him until he could stand in front of the ornate floor length mirror. Jaskier grinned at himself – he was still very clearly masculine, with his chest hair on display from the bias cut neckline, but the hem of the dress fell just above his ankles and there was a long train attached to the dress. He picked up the train and spun in place.

“What do you think?”

Madeline grinned. “Better with make-up, I think.” She laughed at the way his eyes lit up and dragged him over to her vanity. The makeup she had looked completely different from what Jaskier was used to, but Madeline handled the brush expertly as she drew it through the paint and applied it to his eyes and lips. “There. Perfect!”

Jaskier fluttered his eyes at himself in the mirror. He looked downright ravishing, if he did say so himself.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you! Time passes differently in my world! Even though we hung out all afternoon yesterday, only a few hours had passed in my world! Isn’t that crazy?”

“Seriously? So what does that mean? For you, I mean.” Madeline asked.

“Well, I was thinking. What if I went out and really explored your world? Like, if a whole day is only a few hours, then I have tons of time!”

“Hmm,” Madeline tilted her head in thought. “You don’t exactly fit in, though.”

“I mean, I could just be really eccentric?”

“You’re not old enough for that.” She tapped her lip in thought. “Artists are always peculiar. Most actors travel with a troupe, but you play music, right? You could be a bard!”

“Ooooooh!” Jaskier leaned forward in excitement. “That sounds awesome. I just get to go around singing all day? That’s the dream! But, uh...I don’t really write my own music. I mean, I write lyrics, but like...parodies, you know?”

Madeline shrugged. “It’s not as if we’ll know your music, will we? Just maybe try to avoid mentions of your technology. Speaking of which…” She turned an expectant look on him and he made her wait for a bit before grinning and reaching for his discarded pants.

“Okay,” he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “If this works, you’re watching my videos first.”

“Deal. Show me how it works!”

“Okay – shit. There’s no signal. I didn’t even think about internet.”

“What’s internet?”

“It’s like – these satellites are in orbit and – somehow that means I can watch youtube videos?” He shook his head with a wry laugh. “I honestly don’t how it works, I just know what it is.” He pursed his lips in thought. “If it’s just internet, I wonder if my laptop will work with an ethernet cord?”

“I have no idea what that is, but yes. Worth a shot, right?”

He returned Madeline’s grin and got up. “Okay – wait, shit, the whole reason I didn’t have my phone yesterday is because there’s no damn wifi here. But, maybe if we’re close enough to my MiFi, it’ll work?”

Madeline gave him a blank look. “I’m not so sure we speak the same language anymore.”

He laughed. “No, hold on, c’mere. We gotta get close to the wardrobe. The MiFi has to be in my world, but if it’s close enough, maybe my phone in this world can use it!”

He bounced with excitement and tugged on her hand to get her to follow him. It took longer than he thought to get a signal – Madeline got bored and started painting her toes on the floor – but finally, he pulled up his youtube channel.

“Okay, let’s start with Ye Olde Toxic.” Jaskier clicked on his most-liked video and mouthed along to the song.

Madeline’s face morphed from confused and kind of horrified to absolutely enamored as the video went on. “You absolutely have to perform this stuff here. I need everyone to experience this.”

Jaskier laughed brightly. “You’re right – everyone should experience me.”

She punched his shoulder with a chuckle. “Show me more.”

They spent the morning crowded in front of Madeline’s wardrobe, holding his cellphone high to try to get the best signal possible until they got tired of sitting on the floor.

“Can we go into town?” Jaskier asked, eager to truly see this magical world. And also to see a monster. He really, really wanted to see a monster.

Who wouldn’t?

“Not dressed like that, unfortunately.” Madeline frowned. “But I think I might have something that will work for your bard persona.”

“Yessss! Can it also be soft like this?” He swirled around in the dress one last time and almost tripped over the trail. “And maybe not as long.”

“No no, I got it. I have the perfect look for you.” Madeline’s smirk was not at all reassuring, but Jaskier figured she knew her world best.

He was less sure when he actually saw the outfit. It looked nothing like either Madeline or that girl Genevieve’s clothes. He wiggled, testing how he felt. The pants were loose, tapering in towards his ankles, and Madeline had dug out boots that fit him from somewhere. He was wearing an embroidered silk shirt and a blue jacket with red design details. “I like it!” He declared, turning to check out his ass in the mirror. Jaskier unfastened the first several buttons of the jacket and made sure some of his chest hair peeked out. He’d been told it was one of his best features – after his face, his voice, and his hands, of course – and he enjoyed showing it off.

“Actually, you should wear the doublet closed. Otherwise you’re showing off your underwear.” Madeline ruined his fun by pointing out.

“So?”

She raised her eyebrows with a laugh. “All right then. Let’s go!” She nearly ran to her bedroom door, but then she stopped and held up a finger. “Uh, I perhaps should have mentioned. I’m a Countess. This is my castle.”

“Oh. Okay, so you’re important?”

“Not really,” she scoffed. “I basically have all the responsibilities of holding a title and running and estate, and the only benefit is getting invited to all the good parties. Which, okay, is a pretty good bonus.”

“Ooooh, you should bring me to the next party!”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Let’s see how you do around people, first.” She turned the door handle. “Anyway, um, my household staff definitely know about you. Not sure where they think you came from–”

“Through the window, naturally,” Jaskier waved towards the window which had no convenient trellis or other architectural ladder up the wall.

“Sure. Anyway, I think I should be your patron.”

“What?”

“All artists – well, all good artists – have patrons! It’s how the arts are funded! Nobles with money to spare invest in an artist, and in exchange, we get something – commissioned art, a private performance, you get the idea. What do you think?”

“I mean, sure, I guess? What would I have to do?”

“Just perform.” She smiled. “Since I know the truth about you, this is a good excuse for you to be around my estate. And it means you’ll be able to eat while you’re here.”

“Oh. Yes, I would like that.” His stomach grumbled. “Maybe soon on that food?”

Madeline nodded. “Let’s go into town and eat that the tavern. That way you can be around people and watch them while you eat.”

“Sounds good to me!”

Epilogue

[brokemultidotexe]

Unexpected Pt.11

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You never expected your trip to Seoul to end up like it does. You didn’t expect to step off the plane and have coffee pour down your shirt. You also didn’t expect the guy to offer to show you around the city. You notice things about him that don’t quite make sense, like how he shows interest but will only see you when he has the time which is at random hours during the day and night. Who knew your only friend in Seoul would turn out to be an international star and just how difficult things could get.

Word Count: 5.4k

Warning: None

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10.5 | 11 | 12 |

You looked over to your left and saw that JK had fallen asleep before the two of you made it fifteen minutes into the movie. You shook your head and turned the movie off and decided to wait until he was up to watch it with him. He had been spending a lot more time with you, even if it was only for twenty minutes. It was nice seeing him more but each time you saw him he looked worse than before. You knew something was wrong and had asked him about it, but he told you that he wasn’t ready to talk about it. You dropped it and didn’t ask him again, but you couldn’t help but notice the toll that it was taking on him.

You set a timer on your phone for two hours. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a nap with him, because the weird hours of him coming over had your sleep cycle a little jacked up. You didn’t know what his schedule was so you figured two hours was a safe bet and decided to let him sleep. The couch wasn’t very big so it didn’t leave you a lot of room since JK was so tall. It wasn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep and taken up most of the room. Lately he seemed to be falling asleep around you more than usual. You leaned into him and let yourself drift off.

The two hours felt like two seconds because your alarm was going off only moments after you had set it. You opened your eyes and noticed that you were completely laid out on the couch and the warmth that had been there before was gone. You sleepily pushed yourself up into a sitting position.  You wondered if JK had left while you had fallen asleep. You grabbed your phone and turned off the alarm.

“You need to choose a different alarm, that sounds awful.” His voice said from the hall. He walked back into the living room to sit with you. You sleepily curled into his side and he wrapped  an arm around you. He got really quiet so you looked up at him. His worry lines were more prominent and looked lost in thought.

“Hey.” You said softly and he looked down at you. You hadn’t realized just how close the two of you were. You decided not to ask him the burning question you’ve wanted to know the answer to.  So you decided to break the silence. “I’ve noticed you’ve been falling asleep over here more. I’m worried about you. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” You bit your lip.

His eyes bore into yours, “Sleep has been escaping me lately. I guess I just feel comfortable with you, but I am sorry I keep falling asleep instead of spending time with you.”

“It’s still time, and I'm not complaining. It was just an observation that had me worried.”

“I promise, there isn’t anything to worry about. It will pass.” You nodded and he pulled you close and kissed the top of your head. “But unfortunately I do have to head back so I can practice.”

“You’ve been practicing every day. You really should take a break, even if it’s just for a day.” He gave you a smile and told you that he would call you later. You instantly missed the warmth when he left.

You realized you had gotten so used to him being around your apartment and being beside you when you napped or him just being around you in general. That it now felt weird when he wasn’t around, which didn’t make sense. There was no pattern to seeing him, it was basically when he had time and if you weren’t hanging out with Jackson.

At that thought your phone rang and you saw Jackson’s name pop up. You grabbed your phone, “Hey Jackson.”

“Hey, you busy?” you knew it was a nice way of asking if JK was there or not. It wasn’t that the two of them disliked each other...actually you weren’t sure what it was all about and you didn’t feel like trying to figure it out.

“Nope. What’s up?”

“You remember a few weeks ago I told you that if I could get tickets that I'd take you to that BTS concert, well it’s not really a concert but they’re performing. Well, I was able to score some at the last minute and wondered if you wanted to go.” You remembered the conversation, it was the day you bought that beanie for JK. You hadn’t realized that Jackson had been actively looking for tickets, so it kind of surprised you when he asked.

“Sure, I guess. When is it?”

“Tomorrow. It isn’t too far away luckily so we don’t have to travel too far or anything.” He seemed excited and it made you smile. He got excited over the smallest things. The two of you talked about specifics and you told him that you’d be ready to leave by the time he picked you up.

The rest of the night went quickly since you had to do laundry and also clean your apartment, it wasn’t that it was dirty, but you just needed something to do. You were in the middle of switching laundry when your phone went off. You finished up and went to check it. JK had text you.

JK: Hanging with you is 1000000x better than this

You couldn’t help but smile. The dynamic between the two of you had somehow shifted in the last few weeks. The feelings that you’d been fighting so hard against were start to seep through and it scared you. You couldn’t get attached or involved with him. Being attached was already out the window since the two of you had spent a majority of your time in Seoul, together.You never did get a response to your reply so you assumed that he was probably busy again, despite the fact it was two in the morning when he text you. You really wished he would sleep and take better care of himself. You loved dance just as much as he did but he was running himself into the ground.

You finished up what you could and then headed to bed. You really needed to get your sleep schedule back on track. You slept all the way into mid  day.

When you woke up you saw you had a message from JK.

JK: I probably won’t be able to come see you today, but promise me you’ll be completely inconsolable about it.

Y/N: I promise. It’s okay though, I have plans with Jackson. I meant to tell you last night but I forgot, so it works out.

There was no reply to that and honestly you didn’t really expect one. When Jackson was mentioned he always either changed the subject or went radio silent for a little bit before text you or calling you about something else. You knew for a fact that it was jealousy because of his statement the night he put your furniture together.

Boys say that girls are hard to understand but girls don’t even come close to guys and trying to figure out why they do what they do. The next message was Jackson reminding you to be ready by noon so the two of you could head to where the performance was without hitting any traffic. You dressed more for comfort than for fashion, but even you had to admit what you managed to throw together was pretty cute. The weather was still chilly sometimes but it had warmed up significantly than when you first arrived.

Jackson tried to give you a quick rundown on the group along with their names. You couldn’t keep the names straight so eventually he gave up, “Look I only came because you paid for the tickets. Odds are I won’t even like the rest of their songs.” Jackson decided the answer to your statement was to play some of their old songs. It seem they didn’t even stick to a certain type of genre, but it somehow worked for them.

The drive wasn’t too horrible and for the last half hour of it you and Jackson ended up talking about what both of you were like in high school. The both of you had been polar opposite in that time of your life. “Alright sunshine, we’re here.”

You looked up to see a stage off into the distance and a lot of people walking around. There was food and drink stalls, so it was basically a fair...but not. The both of you walked around and got food while waiting for the music to start, which didn’t take long. You heard the MC start talking about BTS and what not. You weren’t really focusing, you were casually walking and watching people freak out and run towards the stage. You rolled your eyes, “You realize this is a boy band right? I haven’t been into a boy band since N’SYNC.”

Jackson laughed, “Why are you so against kpop?”

“It’s not that I'm against it, I guess I just don’t get it. It’s cheesy songs with absolutely no real content. I bet you most of the kpop boy band songs are about love.” you laughed.

“BTS write their own lyrics and they don’t have a lot of love songs, so stop being narrow minded.” He gave you a mock glare, “Just enjoy your time with me and listen to good music.”

“Are you a BTS fanboy?”

Jackson shook his head, “I don’t know if I would call me a fanboy. But I like BTS and their music, they talk about a lot of things other idol groups don’t. They write, compose, and produce a lot of their own music.”

You found that interesting to say the least. Most artists in America didn’t write their own songs, so you figured you should at least respect the fact that they do. You flinched and covered your ears once the screaming started. You could see a line of guys up on the stage now and give a greeting. They didn’t spend much time talking oddly but from where you stood, which was pretty far back, you could see the choreography and you were very impressed. What they were doing wasn’t easy in any sense and the guy in the center was able to do that and sing without his voice wavering. “Damn.”

Jackson had a smug smile, “I told you.”

You stood there and listened to the song and Jackson was right, it wasn’t just a stupid love song. You didn’t move for a while, you ended up watching them dance through a few songs, but your eyes never left the guy that was normally in the center. He danced a lot like JK, which you had always admired.

“Wanna move closer?”

You looked over at Jackson completely forgetting that he was right beside you as you had been sucked into the performance. “Yeah sure, just let me get a drink. I’ll come find you.” Jackson nodded and headed towards the crowd. You went to the nearest stall to grab something with caffeine because you were exhausted. You heard the girl talking in front of you. “God, the way Jungkook moves is down right sinful. The things I would do to him...and his voice, god. He will forever be my bias.”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the girl in front of you. You continued to listen as they talked about Jungkook, whichever one that was, and found it quite hilarious...and graphic. Once they got their food and left you took a step up to the stall. “Can I just have a coke?” the person behind the stall went to get it.

You looked over at the stage because one of them had started talking to the crowd, he seemed winded which you couldn’t blame him. Each member started talking but you tuned them out once the person handed you the drink and you gave them cash and told them to just keep the change because you didn’t feel like messing with it.

When you started paying attention again they had moved on to the next song. You weaved through the people while you listened to the music and you couldn’t help but like each song you heard. So maybe Jackson was right about them being different. You would definitely be checking them out later to listen to some of their other songs. It took almost the whole song before you found Jackson dancing by himself in a small pocket in the crowd.

“Is everyone having fun?” everyone screamed in response and you had to cover one of your ears. Fan girls had iron lungs and the pitch of a flying creature when it came to boy bands.

“As you know we’re preparing for our comeback for our next album ‘The Most Beautiful Moment in Life’ and we’re really excited to share it with you. We all contributed on this album so we’re even more excited for you to hear it.”

Another voice picked up where he stopped, “Actually our maknae wrote his first full song which made it on the album.” the screaming was even louder than before, you managed to squeeze into a spot beside Jackson and you asked him to hold your drink while you fixed your boots that you had on that someone had decided to step on while you were walking through the crowd.

“I don’t think we should keep them waiting, do you? Here’s our first performance of ‘Save Me’. Let’s do it!” your head popped up at the voice, you heard it enough when you hung out with him but you were certain that JK wasn’t here and was most likely practicing. You were losing your mind and have now come to the point of hearing him when he isn’t around. Maybe you did hang out with him too much.

You thanked Jackson for holding your drink while you listened to the song. You really liked it and the lyrics were amazing, yet again. They had already won you over despite wanting to not be into a boy band. You actually really liked this song and decided that you’d probably add it to your Spotify playlist when it was released. You watched as all seven of them danced so in sync. You were in awe of it before but even more so now since it seemed they were always in sync with every choreography of every song.

When the song stopped all of the people in the group were breathing hard “We hope you enjoyed the song. JK anything you want to add?” the tallest asked.

“Yeah, I hope you enjoyed the song and please show it lots of love.” your heart practically stopped beating, you without a doubt couldn’t mistake that voice for anyone. You looked over at the stage and saw him standing there, your eyes got wide. You’d been watching him this whole time and hadn’t realized it. You didn’t hear anything else that was said after you saw him. It made sense why it seemed like the guy moved a lot like JK did. Your mind was running a thousand miles a minute.

You turned to Jackson “I need to go.”

“What? Why? Is everything okay?” he looked so confused and worried.

“I just need--” you couldn’t even finish your sentence the thought, “I’ll call you.”

You handed him your drink and weaved through the crowd, you faintly heard him calling your name but you kept walking. You needed to get away from the crowd of people. You didn’t really know what emotions you were feeling. As your mind was slowly processing what just happened some of the things in the beginning of your friendship made sense, like the mask. You walked a ways up the street and found a bench to sit on. It was far enough away from people that you felt like you could breathe. JK was an idol and part of you was so frustrated. He didn’t lie, technically, but for some reason you felt a small sense of betrayal. It didn’t make any sense. There were so many emotions that it was hard to identify them.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting there but the crowd had mostly thinned out, so the event must be over. You saw a few SUVs pull up to the curb in your peripheral vision as you leaned back and ran your fingers through your hair. You didn’t know how he had kept this from you for months.

You stood up and stretched, your body aching a bit. This was a sign that you had been sitting there longer than you thought. It was the sound of his laugh that made you turn your head quickly. He was walking with the other people of his group to the SUVs. He was laughing with a few of them but you made eye contact with one person, and it wasn’t JK, it was Jimin the guy that had shown up at the dance studio when JK had taken you there. You were frozen and he seemed to be surprised seeing you standing there. He reached out and stopped JK from walking any further. He looked at Jimin in confusion and pushed him playfully but Jimin hit him in the stomach and tilted his head towards you.

What probably had only been a few seconds felt like minutes. His eyes had looked over at you and your stomach flipped, but this time it was different. It didn’t feel like butterflies, and it made you feel sick to your stomach. Neither of you said anything but what little color he did have in his face had left. Jimin leaned in and said something in JK’s ear and climbed into the SUV. The vehicles didn’t leave but the rest of the people had given the both of you as much privacy as they could.

“Y/N.” he started walking towards you but you put a hand up stopping him from walking any further. You didn’t know if you could have any type of conversation until you had a chance to process everything, you didn’t want to do or say anything rash. Part of you was irritated that he felt like he couldn’t tell you and part of you was hurt he didn’t think that he could trust you, and a million other feelings that you couldn’t quite explain.

“What are you doing here?” his voice shook a little..

You don’t know how you managed it, but Jackson’s name tumbled out. The two of you just continued to stare at each other. You were finally able to find your voice after a moment, “So you’re an idol?”

He looked scared, “Y/N I've been trying to figure out how to tell you. I’ve been going out of my mind trying to come up with some way of telling you that didn’t end badly.”

“So all of this,” you waved your hand around, “is the reason for the weird hours and you finding ways to fit me into your busy schedule while I wait around to see if I'll even get to see you.”

“Don’t say it like that, it has never been like that.” You hadn’t meant for it to come out so harshly, but part of you couldn’t help but feel irritated that you were basically at his beck and call while he lived his idol life. It hadn’t bothered you as much when you thought it was just him and his dance studio, which didn’t make sense, but finding out the real reason made you mad. You were trying your best to keep your emotions in check.

“This is bullshit.” the phrase came out in English which sounded weird after talking in Korean for so long, but you weren't sure how to express how you felt in Korean.

“Look, can we just go talk? I’ll find a way to make it work so we have time.”

Yet again, he had to try and fit you into his schedule, “Actually I'm not sure I can fit you into my schedule.” you bit your lip knowing what you were doing was petty, but you wouldn’t apologize. “I need time to process all of this.” you took a few steps back getting ready to walk away.

“Y/N, please! Why does it matter what my profession is? I’m still the same person, nothing has changed. How I am with you, that’s me. I’m just JK when I'm with you, I'm not an idol, I'm not part of BTS. I’m me.” He was pleading with you and you felt your chest tighten.

“Like I said, I just need some time to process and figure things out.”

“Please don’t shut me out.” he pleaded, but you said nothing. He looked like he was in physical pain and your instinct was to make him feel better, but this was one time that you couldn’t. “Will you text me then? Whatever your decision is, good or bad.”

You nodded, “I gotta go.” you turned and pulled out your phone. You immediately closed all the notifications from Jackson. You got yourself an Uber to take you home, you didn’t care about how much it would cost to take you back. It took everything in you not to look back and see if he was still standing there.

You were sitting on your couch curled up in your blanket watching a movie with Jackson. Truthfully you weren’t even watching it. You’d felt off the entire week and you really missed having JK around. You’d gotten so used to his presence being around all the time that the apartment seemed quiet and lonely without him there. You still hadn’t been able to fully figure out how you felt about everything, instead you’d spent the week doing whatever you could to keep yourself busy. The crazy thing was you knew your emotions didn’t fit the crime, which there wasn’t one.

The TV turned off and you looked up and then over at Jackson who was holding the remote, “You’ve been in your own world for the past week. You’ll barely talk and you won’t tell me what happened at the concert, which was when all of this started.”

You chewed your bottom lip, You couldn’t talk to him about it. JK had a right to his privacy and you didn’t want to cause him any issues. “I can’t talk about it.” you sighed.

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Can you give me a cliff notes version? Give me something that will at least tell me what's going on. I’m worried about you. You’re never this quiet and you’ve closed yourself off with anything to do with the outside world. You haven’t left your apartment in a week.” You knew that he wasn’t going to drop it. He’d been getting frustrated with you more and more, and you couldn’t blame him. He tried to make you feel better but everything just felt off.

You turned yourself so you were facing him on the couch, “What would you do if you found out someone important to you had kept a huge secret from you?”

He seemed to think about the question, “Depends on how big the secret was.”

“Pretty big. To the point it could change a lot of things.” you started picking at the fringe on your jeans.

“Well, did they have a valid reason?” After a moment he nudged you when you didn’t answer.

“Kinda. That’s the part that’s complicated.”

“Have you talked to them about it?”

You shook your head, “No, I've gone radio silent until I can figure out how I feel about it all.”

“Let me ask you this, does the secret change what you think or feel about that person?” He was watching your every move and it you disliked him reading you so much.

“No, but there’s a lot of factors.”

He sighed, “I’m going to be blunt, is this about JK?” You tried so hard not to react but your heart started beating faster and you froze, “That explains a lot.”

“Jackso--”

“I know you care about him in a different way than you care about me. You’ve been miserable all week. Just call him and talk it out.”

“We’re just friends.”

“You suck at lying.” he laughed.

You opened your mouth to argue but there was a knock at your door. You got up off the couch and walked to the front door and opened it. You jumped when you saw JK standing there looking nervous. “JK what are you doing here? I told you I'd call yo--”

“It’s been a week and I've tried so hard to be patient, but I'm going out of my mind Y/N.” he rushed out.

“JK, now isn’t a good time. I’ll ca--”

“Actually it’s a perfect time you t--holy shit!” you spun around and saw Jackson standing there with his jacket getting ready to leave. You looked back at JK who had taken his mask off to talk to you. He looked startled and your mind was completely blank on what you should do or say. “You’re Jungkook.” he said shocked.

All three of you stood there awkwardly no one knowing what to say. Jackson looked at you, “This explains SO much and why you bolted at the concert. With that being said, I’m going to leave you two to talk things out.” He slid past you but still looked shocked to see JK standing at your front door.

“Jackson you can’t say anything.” You told him before he made it too far.

“I wouldn’t.” he said and then looked at JK, “Don’t let her push you away, she’s been moping around all week.”

“Jackson!” you yelled out.

“What? You both look miserable, so talk it out. Call me if you need me.” He slipped out the door leaving you and JK standing there awkwardly.

“Please just hear me out.” He pleaded with you softly.

You opened the door wider allowing him to come inside. He walked in and headed towards the living room. You followed behind him after shutting the door. He hadn’t taken a seat on the couch like you had expected him to. Instead he was still standing and was fidgeting. “Okay so what do you need to say?”

“Can you at least sit down?”

You nodded and obliged. You took your normal seat at the edge and tucked your feet beneath yourself and waited for him to start. He stood there, “JK?”

“Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out where to start.” he put his hands in his pants pockets before pulling them back out again. “I know you’re mad that I didn’t tell you sooner, and I get that. You have every right to be, but it wasn’t just me that I had to think about. Whenever I decided to tell you, it would then involve the other members. I wanted to tell you so badly, but part of me was worried that if you knew what I did or who I was to the public that things would change. I liked being able to be myself around you and I didn’t want to lose that. I can’t get that anywhere else but the dorms but they’re my brothers, it’s different. With you there wasn’t talk about work it was just me and you hanging out and sometimes that was the only thing that got me through my long days. I know not telling you was messed up, and I'm sorry. I tried to find a way to tell you multiple times ever since you mentioned BTS in your kitchen. I was scared that I would lose you if I told you because I didn’t tell you sooner, and I know that doesn’t make much sense but I didn’t want to lose you. Jimin told me that I needed to tell you because if you found out from anyone but me that it would be worse. I wish I could take back how you found out, not that you did but how it happened. I would do it all over and I would tell you in person so I could explain like I am now.”

You weren’t sure he took a breath at any point during his speech with how fast he was talking, but you were pretty sure you caught every word. You didn’t really think much about the fact that the other people in the group had to be taken into consideration. You felt guilt start to rise up in your chest from not talking to him. You could see the prominent dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he looked like he was going to pass out from exhaustion at any second. “JK…” You weren’t sure what you had planned to say, so his name died on your lips.

He walked around your coffee table and sat down on it across from you so it brought you two closer to each other, “I promise that I will be completely honest about everything from here on out. I talked with everyone the day you found out, once we had gotten back to the dorms. Jimin helped me explain the things I couldn’t put into words because I was still recovering from watching you walk away from me. Jimin was the only person that knew before the hyungs, and while the rest of them were confused at first and there were a lot of questions that I had to answer. I told them that you never pushed for answers I wasn’t willing to give and that you didn’t see me without a mask for the longest time. We talked for the rest of that day about everything and what possibilities there were now that you knew.” He paused and put his hand on your leg, “Y/N I've done everything I can think of. There are limitations to what I can talk to you about and things I can take you with me to. But those limitations are for the other members privacy and there are other things that we can talk about later, but please don’t push me away. Not seeing you or talking to you this whole week was one of the worst things I've had to endure in a long time.”

He sat there and waited for you to say something. “JK I've been trying to figure my emotions about this whole thing for a week. Yes, it sucked knowing that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. I get not telling me in the beginning but we hang out almost every day and it’s been months. Plus I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re an idol. From what little Jackson told me in the past was that you guys were getting even more popular and that’s intimidating. Hell, I haven’t even had the guts to use Naver to look up BTS. It’s new for me just like it is for you, only you’re a celebrity and a shit ton of people know your name. You should hear the things those girls were saying at that concert.”

His face turned red, which meant he knew what girls thought about him. You’d never think he actually knew with the way he carries himself. “I’ll do whatever, I just don’t want to lose you. You mean a lot to me.”

You gave him a small smile, “You aren’t going to lose me. I still don’t know how I feel about everything and I'm still trying to figure out a lot of things with the new bit of information I have.”

He visibly relaxed, “would you be okay if I stayed for a little bit? I don’t have anything to do today, I honestly thought I'd be trying to convince you all night.”

You nodded, “You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

“Good.” He sat on the couch and leaned back, “Want to watch the movie from the last time I was here?”

You nodded, “Sure.” you got up to go through the stack of DVDs you had. “Hey what was the last thing you remember?” you called out over your shoulder. After a moment of no answer you turned around and JK was passed out on your couch like he always did. You smiled to yourself and got up to grab a blanket and sat beside him and got into a position you were comfortable with and decided to take a nap with him.

AN: I hope there aren’t too many mistakes in there, i tried to proof read it but i didn’t have a lot of time. So i just want to let you know that there are actually 3 other versions of how the reader finds out but i ended up choosing this one so hopefully this will satisfy everyone. I’ve you’ve stayed with the fic until now, you’re a trooper. Future chapters will be longer since I’m not confined into a small area of what the reader can do without finding out. Thank you guys for being patient, i tried my best to get it out as fast as i could without it being complete and total shit. This isn’t the best, but i can deal with the outcome of this one. I hope you at least enjoyed reading it and sorry it’s so long, i debated breaking it up into two chapters but i figured i have tortured you enough. Ugh! Why am i nervous to post this!?

*requests are OPEN*

[imissyoulilgucciv]

So this has become more of a journal/grief thing which is interesting because I’ve also had a blogger but set to private since like 13 so thats intense and I have thousands of compulsive letters to no one, but my head just doesn’t seem to sort itself out, unless I can actually slow down enough, like right here. 

Today, 

Woke up 2 hours earlier than usual so I could have 1.5 hours more to instal my art, the word art makes me uncomfortable which is funny to me, so I went to install my thing but there was an accident so instead I got there with 30 mins, I got most of it done but not all, didn’t matter it was an inprogress crit and I could enough up to see. I always have so much in my head and I also used text this time which I thought was also funny because when talked about they called it poetry and I just didn’t even look at it like that 

I feel like this is the first project I didn’t stress over at all, but also had a lot of time to do it and no pressure from the teacher with harsh deadlines or anything so that was part of it, the other part is being in such a place of discomfort and shock that I have to be slow and I don’t have it in me to add any more chaos to the grief I’m feeling. So for me that is actually one benefit of this, its just saying fuck it to a lot of things, but in good ways. 

 my teacher cried during my crit which made me feel just great, and then I didn’t get a parking ticket but I should have, so I was excited and left but then went back to remove my shit and photo and then I went to get my car and bring it closer for the camera (long story) but I drove my car back in a slightly different spot and then still got a ticket because  the chalk was still on my wheels even though I was gone for at least an hour and a half. but whatever theres like 4 hours worth of “work”, not my biggest worries though. 

Then I busted my phone, my thoughts were oh well now I have an excuse for not wanting to respond to this persons text about hanging out.  

so i go get my old phone to see if I should still use that one, and ofcorse doing this leads me to 1 years worth of messages with gus. The struggle is real, I can’t even cry because this is so overwhelming, I knew it was always hard, and I was different this time around because I Was pushing back, but like you just see the back and forward nature and gus is like “im done” this is too much for me and then the next day or same day its like hopeful for the future we have and even one that was a super cute photo of like flower people (to me it was super sexual but he didn’tn notice this until I pointed it out then we joked  about being watered) but he said he wouldn’t worry any more and that he was sure no matter where we ended up we’d do something good or something like that, something that could make a small difference or whatever and that is heartbreaking, then you know the next day all over again fast and furious and I imagine how exhausting that was for gus, it’s overwhelming and I Feel in my state of greif I can understand BUT from the point of view that I have a reason to feel these ways which is much easier than to have a seemingly perfect life, beautiful face, no visible problems and people think stop whining or whatever and you feel crazy as shit because nothing feels right but nothing is wrong except you. Thats not a good feeling. Thats the invisible wheel chair. I just wish I had done so many different things, and said so many different things, I started joining in on the upset because I Wasn’t going to do that this time, I was being hurt to so lots of fuck you’s and I love yous and its fucking nuts, its all nuts, and this was the last time... I had no idea what I was in for. I could have done better but I was too involved, and also blinded by optimism. you don’t know whats in someones head and I forgot while gus was honest, he also had a way of only discolosing certain info, I thought he didn’t do that with me but in reality I can see now he did, just like he picked and chose what to tell his therapist about me, so that my image was protected. Gus was odd in that way, to protect my image because of how he felt, and its not that he was protecting his image to me, but I know he did want us to work out and he was giving me his best sides, and I loved those sides, and to think I got all the good, and yet still by the day, maybe week, maybe once a month you name it we would have really confusing fights where he would insit on withdrawing and I should have let him, I should have understood it was TOO much like he said I mean I thought I felt it was too much too, but like then it comes down to the I dont want to live without you 

and he realizes he can’t live with me 

and he doesn’t want to keep hurting me or his mom, and he realizes he could actually really hurt either one of us when he’s not making any sense 

and its exhausting back and forth, one week feels like a fucking month, and I think his whole teen/adult life was like that, it was super condensed and super fast. He did travel, he did live in a commune for a period, dual citizenship, went through a good amount of personality growth and interests, and the last being one that I respect a lot, permaculture, and then the things that stayed the same with him like the inside jokes and the laughing, his clenliness and interest in some rap with the perfect lyrics and same taste in music, so loving, so embracing. 

I can’t read these and think its over, I still open the door to his room when I get home and I think Hey Gus I’m back!! and I want to tackle him and give him all the hugs and kisses. The thing is we never had that though, I mean I never came home here, this was never my home, always a place I felt welcome but I didn’t live here, and I didn’t come here like every day nor usually when I was done with school, there would be times wher eI’d come but he would greet me at the front door, so this coming into the room and him being there is a fantasy I’ve created, Its the one where I think god like why couldn’t this be how it was, why couldn’t we have been this ideal happy family.. why did you have to leave, and why did I go so hard on you, and I know it wasn’ my choice but I really I’m so stubborn I can’t get over it I can’t forgive myself, I can’t thin it couldn’t have been different because it could have, and it wasn’t and I was part of that circle. I failed in ways I wasn’t aware of but I still feel accountable. 

So now to complete my overwhelming day, 

to see the medium perform ! Gus I hope you come, Ive been talking outloud to him, it comforts me, I think now Im going to be crazy lady , the one that doesn’t talk to cats but talks to the deceased bf. 

Its a disaster. I can’t be the same. I feel so wrong, but also free in all my wrongness because I can say piss off, I’m still working on  my piss of people pleasing skills because it just happens, I get nervous, then adrenaline that allows me to perform instead of being myself, or how I Feel. instead I can only use words and when my expression doesn’t match people don’t take me seriously, how can I blame them ?

I just miss you, 

I have a bracelet from the women in my group, she said she thought of me, that means so much to me, it says “my story isn’t over yet” super cliche but the intention and the person behind it just makes me cry because we share the worst thing imaginable. Blessed. although I’m not sure how to ever wear it because its a set size metal bangle type which never fit my wrists. 

I feel pretty nuts when I write like this, but I’d rather be here than having real friends and feeling like im going to have a melt down. I can’t cry right now even after reading those texts, I don’t know how I feel. I’m confused and upset but its numbing today. 

I do think gus was Bipolar which was what he said the first time around, he had actually been diagnosed, but that fell through, which I partically wonder if that was my influence on him and unfortunately I think between me and drug counceling he was oppossed to understanding the benefit of medication/or even necessity, and also the benefits of being diagnosed so proper treatment can at least be attempted, even though, unfortunately, the books just don’t always work. Like the book of parenting, or relationships because  I Was all wrong, and I have to think from the side of being with someone mentally ill, while I knwo I can’t be treated like crap, most of the time gus wasn’t treating me poorly other than making me hurt by the break ups and while I knew sometimes it was him being withdrawn and worried about how I felt, or being paranoid and we’d be okay sometimes it wasn’t that easy and my emotions would also take over so I’d believe him entirely and I’d be very hurt because it would always be very sudden. if only wed gotten help sooner, but I think again this time he was actually doing everything by the “book” all at once, he was invested in his interests, he was working out, he had a routine, a loving girlfriend, he was sober, seeking help.. 

and then he looses his shit with me and we think okay moving therapy up 

then he looses his shit with his mom 

then he’s gone 

it doesn’t feel good when you’re doing all the “right” things, thats why I said he wasn’t patient, you expect results, tired of hurting people and tired of feeling hurt, overwhelmed and the fucking pyshcotic voices convincing you of things that make no sense and go against what is actually true, the ones that tell you we’d be better off without you. the ones that told you I was lying or only using you, or whatever

IT wasn’t fair for you or us, and this is the price for all of it. We’d do anything to have you back. I still would have rather been taken out first, but that isn’t what happened. I need your mom to have something from you, I have my dreams but she is sinking and needs to hear something, what is “real” doesn’t matter because to me, whats there is real, just like your delusions, they were real. 

[hansolmates]

vernon; you’re my cure

genre: fluff fluff fluffity fluff

word count: 2033

feat: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female + various

(a/n): based on a prompt I found AGES ago, I forgot where but something along the lines of “if you were ever sick, they wouldn’t notice until you were pale and dying on the ground” although i think vernon would be pretty attentive, the prompt was SO CUTE SO HERE U GO <3 

She hated to admit, but Vernon was oblivious to many things. Sometimes it was okay, the way he was so focused on writing lyrics and blur the world around him, because only then he was able to concentrate. Otherwise, his members have mentioned that they do worry about him from time to time, and jokingly confessed that he does get babied often because he forgets to take care of himself.

But that was nothing of her concern. She liked him either way, he was sweet and dependable and it was like dating her best friend. Not her concern, until today.

“Hey, are you alright?” Leave it to Josh to notice right away.

“You look tired.” And Seungcheol, and practically every other person that went her way this evening.

“I’ll be okay. It’s just a cold. It happens during allergy season.” she sniffled, trying to talk as clearly as possible. She unfortunately had the worst colds, ever. Every spring it was like this. Waking up feeling incredibly dry and dehydrated, random nosebleeds in the middle of the night, and feeling overall weak and vulnerable. Her contact lenses were burning with the amount of stress it took to put them on, accompanied with the globs of makeup she used to keep her skin looking healthy.

“Are you sure it’s just allergies?” Seungcheol winced, tilting his head to the side to get a closer look at her. “You sound like you have the flu or something.”

Josh didn’t hesitate with his actions and placed a palm over her forehead. His touch was cool and comforting, and she practically melted into a puddle as her eyes fluttered shut. But the second he touched her he snatched it back, as if he were on a hot stove. “You’re really warm.” he said, as if it were the understatement of the century.

“Can you like, put your hand back on my head for the rest of the night.” she grabbed Josh’s hand once more and put it on her cheek, sighing in contentment.

The leader smiled unsteadily, “Are you sure you should be here?” he asked, gesturing to the bustling waiting room backstage. 

“Of course.” she insisted stubbornly, “He’d be so disappointed if I wasn’t here for the showcase.”

Speak of the devil, Vernon started jogging up to them. He finally wriggled away from the makeup artists long enough to get to her, he was eyeing her for the past ten minutes as he got his touch-ups. Seungcheol and Josh immediately took five steps back from her, and suddenly took an immediate interest in the snack table next to them.

“I’m so happy you came.” Vernon said, eyes glowing like mini-constellations as he walked up to her.

“You look so handsome.” she smiled, taking in his pinstripe suit and shiny black oxfords. Her fingers trailed absently over the stiff lapels, pressed and rolled to perfection.

“And you look beautiful as always.” he reached for her hands, and leaned in so his lips were barely brushing against her ears. “I’d totally hug and kiss you right now, believe me. But the stylists are all looking at me and if they see that I ruined my makeup and outfit, they’d kill me. They’d actually kill me.” he whispered dramatically, his warm breath tickling her skin.

She pulled away and laughed, trying to fight the soreness bubbling up her throat. No kissing was quite alright for her, since she still felt kind of gross. “It's fine, just so long as you kill it on stage. And you all totally will, you've worked so hard for this.”

He looked away bashfully, rubbing his neck. “You know,” he started, thumbing his collar. “I wrote one of my songs about you.”

“Wait, really?” she smiled softly at the gesture.

“Of course, you're my muse.” and they started calling the first unit for standby. It was his stage with a couple other members. “Wish me luck.” and before anyone could stop him, he placed a quick kiss to her forehead before following the rest of his unit before the stage.

She was hoping he'd notice the difference in her temperature when he kissed her, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. Jihoon was in the first unit as well, and was eyeing her imploringly at her state, but otherwise didn't say anything. Jeonghan frowned at her as well, his eyes darting to her restless gaze but otherwise did not pry. She watched the first performance through the streaming television, and remembered that she was here to support Vernon. No matter what, she was going to suck it up for this beautiful boy who was writing beautiful songs about her. Being sick would not change that.

Jun slided next to her, offering a cupful of strawberries. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You look awful.”

Shooting him a glare, she snatched the entire cup from him. “Gee, thanks for noticing.”

He innocently popped another red berry his mouth. “Would you like me to catch you when you fall?”

“Are you trying to be flirty or…?”

He shrugged, elbowing her. “No, but I'd really do it.” he said earnestly, before walking away for the next team on standby.

The showcase was ultimately successful, and went on with only minor hitches that were to be expected. By the end of the evening, everyone was equally sweaty and exhausted, the crew was more than ready to pack up and tuck in for the night. Her too, as it was incredibly late and she was starting to feel the lack of rest hitting her in the head.

“God, I’m starving!” Hoshi complained, bouncing around  to hurry everyone up. Most of the members were in a circle waiting for the rest to hurry up and load in the car.

“And that adlib at the end, I’m really happy it worked out.” Vernon just wouldn’t stop talking, his one hand waving around in story mode while his other was clutched securely around hers, swinging their arms around like a pendulum. It was making her nauseous. Did he notice how clammy her palm was? She tried not to cringe at the contact, because Vernon was really happy about how well he did today, and within good reason.

Forcing a smile, she nodded gently, feeling her head spin. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Dino whined, tapping his foot while the managers were busy making various phone calls.

Pointedly ignoring everyone else, Vernon asked her, “You’re getting dinner with us, right? We’re buying steak.”

She was far from hungry, in fact the only thing she wanted was a cup of tea and her couch. Apologetic, she shook her head. “I’m kinda tired. But go on and celebrate without me!” she insisted with forced cheer. She felt really hot all of a sudden, like walking into a volcano with no air. Her neck was uncomfortably damp with sweat, thankfully covered by her hair.

Vernon’s whole face crumpled at her rejection, and she had to look away to not feel guilty from his puppy eyes. “But,” he pouted, “It won’t be fun without you.”

From the corner of her eye, she noticed the ever-sarcastic Jun hold his arms out expectantly even though he was metres away.

“Will you be okay getting back?” Josh stepped in, slipping his body partway between them. “You drove, right?”

Vernon suddenly felt betrayed, and shook his friend’s shoulder. “C’mon, help me convince her!”

“Do you have food at home?” Seungcheol asked, ready to pull out his phone to place an order.

“But it’s been a long time since we all had a meal together.” Vernon continued to insist.

“Yah, can’t you see?” Jihoon interjected.

“See what?” he furrowed his brows, confused.

Another wave of dizziness swept over her form, and she felt the whole parking lot blur. She always wondered what it felt like to faint, it looked so dainty and almost nap-like in the movies. But she only felt nauseous, like she was drowning in murky water. Sounds and gasps were coming at her in slow motion, like a dream. She felt strong hands snatch her waist, trying to lift her deadweight. When she closed her eyes for the last time, she could only concentrate on the panicked look on Vernon’s face.

She woke up hours later, feeling overheated once more. She couldn’t move, as she was swaddled like a baby, burrito-ed in between the sheets and a familiar-smelling hoodie. Looking up through her tiny face-hole, she took in the room before her. It was their dorm. The strange thing was that it was almost uncomfortably empty.

“Are you thirsty?” Vernon’s voice echoed from the kitchenette, and he brought over a bowl of soup to his bed-bench.  

“Where is everybody?” she asked instead.

“Getting steak, remember?”

“But, you’re not there.” she wriggled out of her blankets like a cocoon, exhaling in relief when her arms were free. “I should go home.”

Vernon easily pushed her back down, wrapping the sheets back on her body. “Nope, no way am I leaving you alone tonight.” he made a move to lift the spoon of her soup to feed her, but she made a face and edged away. He only made a warning face in reply, nudging the spoon. Not wanting the liquids to spill on his quilt she opened her mouth, forcing the too-hot soup down her throat. “There,” Vernon declared, looking proud of himself. “Was that so bad?”

The soup sizzled against her sore throat, taking its sweet time to make its way down her system. As much as it soothed her throat, she didn't feel like eating. If she had one more spoonful she'd heave right then and there. “I feel like crap.” she admitted guiltily, her voice soft yet rough with wear. “I'm sorry I ruined your celebration. I know how much this event meant to you.”

His satisfied grin weaned, slowly putting the bowl down. “No, I'm sorry baby. I should've known you were sick.”

“You were busy, there was no reason why you should've noticed. I tried so hard to hide it.”

“Everyone was busy, but everyone noticed except me.” he murmured, brushing a thumb over her brow. “I was so scared, when you fell into my arms I felt so helpless.” he confessed, clenching his hands between the fabric of his blanket.  “Please don’t do that again.”

“I tried so hard to hide it.” she exhaled tiredly, looking up through her lashes. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

Vernon leaned in and pressed her forehead to his, having no choice but to drown herself in his chocolate gaze. “Don't ever hide your pain for me, okay? Yeah, I would've been upset if you weren't there. But I know you'd be cheering me on from home, and I'd feel better knowing you were resting.” he felt the heat, finally. He fought the urge to scrunch his nose at how hot her body was, wondering why he couldn’t feel it hours ago. At the very least, she was now safe and in his arms, well on her way to getting better.

“Apology accepted.” she replied immediately, giving him a weary, but reassuring smile. “But Vernon? Can you please take these blankets off me, I’m dying.”

“Oh, yeah! My bad, baby.” his smile quickly returned to his face upon seeing hers, peeling off the layers of blankets one by one. It wasn’t until he reached the opening that he slipped his body between the blankets, throwing one layer over each other like their own little igloo. She thankfully didn’t feel so stuffy anymore, but a much welcomed warmth bloomed in her chest.“I don’t mind staying home tonight. I can take care of my babygirl and we can have some alone time for once.” he cheered, dipping his nose to nuzzle hers.

She giggled at the contact, lifting a hand to lightly push away his chest. “Vernon, stop! You’ll get sick.”

“So?” he chuckled, his words so soft that they could only be heard between the confines of their blankets, his hands reaching to tug at the fabric of her sweater. “I need to give you some healing.”

“Oh, so you’re a doctor now?”

“Trust me, I’m a professional.” he chuckled, getting closer and closer to her face. “Just one dose,” he assured, brushing his lips with hers, “And I’m sure you’ll feel better.”