#unfortunately for myself i still have a couple ideas for yard videos left in me

[cyberspacebear]

i have also fallen down the niche pipeline of being obsessed with both hivemind and the yard you are not alone 💌 i also think that riley and graydon would mesh so well with the yard if they ever had them on (tho maybe 6 would be too many ppl so if one of the boys missed an episode . i've thought abt this a lot)

YES thank you. i need the hivemind guest ep so bad it is hurting me. i was in the dustiest ass channel of the yard discord pleading for it

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

Twice now I have tried to make a reblog reply about Walter and twice now Tumblr has eaten it. So let's try it this way @chaos-bringer-13

Allow me to take you back to the ✨QUARANTINE DAYS✨ and tell you the tale of a pumpkin that may or may not have housed a god

So back in good old 2020/21 we are in the thrall of the COVID-19 pandemic. My state in particular had super heavy quarantine restrictions, and as someone with lung issues, my mom and myself were not taking any chances. I haven't left my house in maybe 5 months. Nor have I seen any of my friends outside of video calls. Senior year of High School so far has sucked.

I'm talking to my friend, we'll call her Marie, and I mention off hand "Yeah I'm starting to feel a bit lonely." Now Marie has known me for a solid 8 years at this point. She knows my type of humor and attachment to what we would now and days call "skrungly" objects. She decides "hmm. I can fix this!"

Marie's mom (who was... certainly a human being) for some god forsaken reason decided to buy a white pumpkin and give it to Marie with the idea that she would harvest the seeds from it and plant them in the garden (why she did this instead of just buying pumpkin seeds I will never know). Instead of doing this, Marie takes this pumpkin and draws a realistic face on it that can only be described as similar to the handsome squidward meme. She drives to my house, sets the pumpkin on my doorstep with a note, and then FUCKING BOOKS IT.

I open the door to see this pumpkin with a note that reads "Hello Momther, I am Walter."

(Not the best photo but this is in fact Walter sitting in the dark in my front yard while Marie (not pictured) stands on my driveway holding a single candle and chanting).

Anyway immediately I take him inside completely smitten and unknowing as to what this pumpkin will create.

At this point of quarantine, we have gone back to classes but they are completely online. I decide that the best thing I could possibly do with Walter is set him on a stack of notebooks behind me so that when I turn my camera on he would be there... watching. Notably, one guy who never unmuted himself did so just long enough to ask "Void... what the fuck is that."

Needless to say I got endless entertainment from the reactions, but all good things have to come to an end. Unfortunately, I live in a desert and pumpkins simply don't survive. They typically would rot within a few days where I was living at the time, so my Mom told me to move it outside at least. I decide to put him by the front door. This front door has a little half wall that leads up to it. I put him on top of it facing the walkway so whenever a package is delivered the mailman would be faced with Walter and have to make eye contact before leaving the mail. I figure I'll probably get a couple more days out of him before he rots.

This is where it starts to get weird

Another week passes. Two. Unlike every single pumpkin I've ever had for Halloween, Walter shows no signs of rotting despite being exposed to the elements. The pumpkin is at this point about a month and a half old and still perfectly fine. Marie, our friends, and I all kind of laugh it off as a random one time thing and expect it to rot within another week.

IT. FUCKING. DOESN'T.

4 months into having Walter and he is still as good as new. Around this time the vaccines for covid started rolling out, so my friends and I get to see each other again. They are just as baffled as me about Walter. Of course, us being us, we have been referring to Walter like an actual person this whole time because that's just our humor. We give him little head pats and forehead rubs as we enter or leave my house and say hello/goodbye to him.

Also around this time, my mom and myself are beginning to prep for moving to another state. We have also started doing some in person classes again. I had been cleaning out my room one morning, and just so happened to leave a piece of sea glass in front of Walter as I left for school. I had a strangely good day. Managed to get an A on a test if I remember right. I come home, see the glass in front of the pumpkin, and start thinking. The next day I leave him something else. Another good luck day! I try this again and every single time I leave him an offering something good happens! I tell my friends about it and they start doing it too and experiencing the same results. We decide that he must be some god of luck inhabiting this pumpkin vessel and rewinding time on it to keep it from rotting.

At some point someone gave him an orange and I swear to god the pumpkin started getting orange marks on its forehead. He still wasn't rotting though! We decided that he obviously has been absorbing the power from the offerings.

Around this time I realise the I have somehow created a partially serious cult and decide I might as well lean into it. I actually enlisted the help of the neighbor kids to take this photo.

Time passes. Walter is about 10 months old now and still going strong. We have graduated highschool and I'm going to be moving in a week. I can't take Walter with me, so Marie decides she will take him. But first, she is going to help us move. It's a 6 hour drive. We put Walter in the passenger seat window so that all the cars passing us can see him.

After she helps us, Marie and Walter continue on to yet another state where Marie will be attending university. Walter is almost if not a year old when he finally starts to rot. Marie, in her dorm room mind you, makes a plaster cast of his head and redraws his face on it. To this day Walter hangs in his new, more durable vessel, guarding her spice cabinet.

By the end of Walter's reign, he had reached his 1st birthday, scared who knows how many mailmen, met 3 of my teachers in person, visited 3 USA states, and briefly had an instagram account.

[katnissmellarkkk]

Gravity

Hi! Okay, so here’s chapter two of my growing back together story, inspired by the prompt “I won’t hurt you” @rosegardeninwinter sent me. I also posted this fic on AO3 under the title Gravity (like the Sara Bareilles song), if that’s where you prefer to read. And here’s a link to chapter one of this fic if you wanna read and haven’t yet.

Also I know I said in my first author’s note that there will be three chapters, but there might be a bit more.... we love an over-writer, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I don’t know if you’re “supposed” to post every part of a multi chapter fic on here? Or just post the link to it on AO3? But for now I posted it in its entirety on here 😊.

Anyways, hope you like it! And thanks to anyone who reads! 💖💖💖

/

A couple months later.

We slide back after that. I don't know if that night-the night he had a nightmare that I died and we slept locked in each other's embrace-moved too quickly for Peeta or if he thought he was protecting me from him, but when morning light came, he was gone from the bed.

I didn't see him again until the following evening, helping Haymitch feed his rambunctious geese in the yard. He didn't speak to me for four more days after that, and when he did, it was to ask what kind of bread I wanted him to bring for lunch the next day.

I pretended to his face that it didn't hurt. That waking up in a cold, empty bed, in a house he all but abandoned until I had evacuated, that sleeping in his arms and awaking so abruptly alone, didn't hurt. I did what I had taught myself to do as a child and I turned my features into an indifferent mask, shutting off all access to my emotions. Destroying any possibility of anyone witnessing my vulnerabilities.

But I knew deep down, it did hurt. It hurt badly.

I didn't speak to him directly the first week he showed up for lunch and to work on the memory book again. I got by fine without addressing him directly, as Haymitch somehow sensed the bubbling tension between us and stayed sober just enough to remain alert for all our shared meals. He helped with the memory book, helped by adding in a snarky comment here or there to reel our focuses onto him instead of each other.

I wanted to say thank you but I never knew how. I doubt Haymitch needs me to verbalize it anyway. One night, as he follows behind Peeta to leave, his hand grazes my shoulder and gives it a squeeze and I know he's much more aware of the dynamic between his old tributes than he leads on.

But weeks after the night in question, the night that set Peeta and my friendship back months, we receive a telegraph from Effie. A telegraph that shakes the small amount of stability we've managed to build in the time since the war.

Apparently President Paylor has decided to move forward with arena destruction, an idea mentioned a few times by Plutarch on Caesar's talk show. An idea I didn't take seriously until now.

Paylor has decided to build a memorial for each of the arenas, for each year the games ever took place, to immortalize our history, so Panem can never forget how cruel and inhumane things once were. But first, she wants to eliminate the actual Hunger Games arenas, once and for all, before putting the memorials in their place.

My initial thought, months ago when Delly showed me Plutarch and Caesar discussing the idea, was that this would takes years to happen.

I was, once again, so clearly wrong. The plans have been expedited and the order in which each arena will be decimated has been swiftly decided.

All that alone doesn't sound terrible. I'd like to see those death pits crushed, burned, torn down, eradicated, or all of the above, by any means necessary. Only downside, initially, is that this will extend me—and Peeta and potentially all the other victors—remaining in the forefront of the public's mind.

Since the war, all I've ever wanted was for everyone in the country to forget who I am. I don't want to be known anymore. I just want to be left alone, to a quiet and peaceful and relatively simple life, without anyone ever recognizing me again. Without anyone thinking of me as the girl on fire, as the Mockingjay, as the sixteen-year-old who volunteered for a sister who was doomed to death anyway.

But, of course, there's a catch. There's always a catch.

Plutarch thinks it would be great to have the living victors be there—televised—in the Capitol and see the arenas before they're bulldozed.

Even with this dreadful proposition, I thought I had time to think of a way out of it. When Effie first sent the telegraph, I thought that I would have years before having to worry about going back to the places where my nightmares started.

Well, some of my nightmares, that is.

After all, it takes time to destroy something as large and as vast as an arena-excluding the way I destroyed the one in the Quell, that is. I figured-I rationalized, really-that by the time they got to number Seventy-Four, I would have a solid excuse to get out of attending.

I guess though they wished to start with the big years and the first decade of the Hunger Games wasn't very eventful, apparently—lucky them—so the first arena they wish to bid farewell to is the one from the second Quarter Quell. The Fiftieth Hunger Games. The one that was so strikingly beautiful and almost entirely poisonous.

The year Haymitch Abernathy, from the lowly District Twelve, won.

And being also from Twelve, my presence, along with Peeta's, suddenly became of the utmost importance as well.

At first, I still try to opt out of the event. Even after Effie chastises me over the phone, like not a day has passed since she was my escort, and even after my mother claims in her letter that it could be cathartic for me, I do not relent.

Delly and Thom and a few of the others in the community, like Kanon who runs the candy shop two stores away from the bakery, and Greta, who helps with the dusting and mopping all over town, try to say that it could be good for me. Greasy Sae claims it can't be worse than actually living through the games, and I silently appreciate her much more blatant statement than the comforting platitudes others try to provide me.

But it all falls on deaf ears in the end.

Because the only person I truly listen to is Peeta. Even bitter and wounded, the only person I really hear is him.

Unfortunately, as irritating as it is sometimes, his voice will always reach me when others can't.

But we don't ever have an actual conversation about it. Five days after Effie calls to announce the news, to tell me unequivocally that my presence is requested, Peeta sways me to go with just a look.

He comes over later than usual and brings extra bread and pastries to go with the deer meat I hunted. We feast silently, the air between us still incredibly awkward, when, without warning, our old mentor comes crashing through the door unceremoniously.

I don't know how much alcohol he consumed, but it's enough to knock even someone with Haymitch's tolerance off his feet.

By the end of the hour, the older man is practically beating his head into the wall of my dining room, screaming the names of dead children and about force fields and axes. And from across the kitchen table, Peeta touches my arm—the first time he's voluntarily touched me in weeks—and my eyes meet his, blue pouring into gray, and silently he begs me to go for the goodbye ceremony to Haymitch's arena.

And I give in. Not just for him. But also, in large part, to repay the caustic, miserable drunk that kept us alive. To support the unpredictable, temperamental man that I do consider my family somehow.

The ceremony is set to take place weeks later and the time does little to alleviate my anxiety. Peeta and me still don't speak much, but come time for lunch or dinner, there he is, in my house like clockwork.

When I point out, a few days before we're due at the train station, that there's a very realistic possibility that the Capitol won't let me go to the ceremony, Peeta casually says, "I already cleared that with Effie and Plutarch."

I shoot him a look of surprise. "You did?"

Shrugging nonchalantly before turning back to the rabbit on his plate, he murmurs quietly, "Thought it'd give you one less thing to worry about."

The ceremony is nothing like I expect. Somehow I figured there would be an obnoxiously large television crew, loud speakers, prepared speeches on written cards, awkward directions and crowds upon crowds of people surrounding us, asking pointed questions, shooting invasive stares and pressing for reactions to their nosy accusations. I expected those accusations to be directed at me and Peeta especially.

Instead, there's none of those things. There's no crowd at all, it's just us victors. Just Enobaria, Johanna, Annie, the three of us from Twelve and Beetee—who I still can't make myself so much as look at, reminded of my sister's absence and his role in it every time we so much as stand in five feet vicinity of each other.

The camera crew consists of Mitchell, Pollux and Cressida, along with two unfamiliar, but seemingly non-threatening faces. There's no directions, no prompting, not close ups or reshoots.

All that happens is Paylor makes a statement that the crew films, stating that the arenas will be destroyed one by one, and in the place of each there will be an individual memorial made, as we victors stand in an unorganized, crooked line that will surely make Effie cringe when she sees the footage on television later.

It's almost peaceful, I think to myself in surprise, as I look around at the location. The sky is a stunning cobalt, even more brilliant in person than in the video Peeta and I watched on the train so long ago. The meadow looks like the grass is fresh, like it was just watered yesterday. The mountain is so breathtaking I have to physically tear my eyes away from it and even the woods look rather cozy. Or maybe that part is just me.

There's also arraignments of flowers, just like in the footage we watched, that spill every which way, filling our noses with soothing, floral scents. It feels unnatural to say about a place set up for murder, but with the deadly poisons lurking at every turn eviscerated, I almost can find this arena truly beautiful.

Of course though, it's not my arena.

It's Haymitch's and he looks like he's about to be sick. He's white-knuckled it for a few days without any sort of drink—to my, Peeta's and, even Effie's, visible shock—and I can see plainly now that he's absolutely regretting it. His eyes are hallow and wild at the same time and I can see his shaking palms beneath the sleeves of his jacket as he stares out at the source of his every nightmare for the last quarter century.

It shocks me that he didn't find a way out of this. Actually, it shocks me still that these ceremonies are even possible.

I never knew they kept arenas after the games were over each year. I never realized they kept all seventy-four death pits, haunted by child sacrifice, the way you keep old vases on a shelf.

At this point though, it's just another thing to add onto the growing list of horrific and unthinkable issues that the Capitol doesn't even grasp. Keeping the haunted graveyards of children as souvenirs shouldn't sit right with anyone, I don't care how you're raised.

I tell myself to not be so quick to judge, as I can't know who I'd be if I had been born in the Capitol instead of the districts. Still, the idea of condoning the things they have without remorse or shame seems unthinkable.

I'm torn out of my thoughts when Cressida speaks. "Is there anything you'd like to say, Haymitch, before we finish filming?"

Once again, catching me off-guard entirely—he's full of all sorts of surprises evidently—Haymitch clears his throat and looks down at his leather boots before speaking. "Ardor. Garnett. Dolan. Silver. Ryker. Artemis. Slayte. Pistol. Lex. Mac. Lumen. Gig. Brook. Aqua. Mary. Ripley. Lyme. Watt. Rocky. Gio. Belle. Raven. Kia. Mecko. Barker. Jack. Holly. Briar. Essie. Stitch. Coco. Paul. Mira. Miller. Coop. Harvey. Butch. Cutter. Bea. Skinna. Basil. Sunny. Rip. Spring. Oaker. Terra. Maysilee." He lists off the names in a way that is so matter-of-fact that it would almost be robotic if it weren't for the hoarseness in his tone that grows stronger with every name he utters. He hesitates for only a moment before adding, "Corentine. Alannah. Alastar."

There's a long stretch of silence, where no one speaks, no one blinks, no one even breathes. We all know instinctively who these people are—I know solely from Maysilee Donner's name being called—but we still wait until Haymitch speaks again, to confirm our assumption.

"Those are the names of all the people this arena killed." His eyes grow glassy and his brow furrows in anger as he fights desperately to repress his emotions, and suddenly I have the strangest urge to hug my mentor, to make him feel better like he tried to do for me once when Peeta was stuck in the Capitol and I was distraught. But I know it wouldn't be appreciated or wanted, and quite honestly I'm glad for that, because I don't even know what to say.

The last three names Haymitch said stick in my head for some reason I can't explain other than an odd gut feeling. But then he speaks again, an in a voice growing gruffer by the second, he says right into the camera, "that's every single person who was killed because of the second Quarter Quell."

And, like I should have known all along, it hits me the last three names are the names of his family who were murdered to punish him for the stunt with the forcefield.

The last three names are the murders of the last people he loved. Until me and Peeta came along.

As if his thoughts matched mine, Haymitch suddenly shakes his head and his eyes widen again as he stares past all the rest of us, as he continues to take in the exact place in which life as he knew it, twenty-six years ago, was altered forever.

His reaction is more understandable and genuine than I imagined he would ever allow it to be, especially on camera, and I want to say something but me and him both aren't good at saying anything, and I find myself looking to Peeta, hoping he'd know what to do.

Peeta doesn't meet my gaze though. He's solely focused on our mentor and just when he opens his mouth to speak, the older man to suddenly shake his head in our general direction and clears his throat.

"I'm done. Tell Plutarch I'm done with this crap. Just hurry up and bulldoze this place so I can go back to Twelve," is all he says to Cressida as he storms off, but his voice is rough and caustic once again, and I can only hope he recovers from this event soon enough.

Somehow, witnessing Haymitch relive his games, even through the shield he so obviously puts up to the outside world, triggers me though. For some reason, I feel my eyes begin to water as I look around at the meadow, at the mountain, at the golden cornucopia, and wonder how anyone could build a place where kids would eventually go to die? How could anyone have ever been so inhumane? How could a country just accept it? How did we live for so long with the Hunger Games overtaking our lives and still remained complicit? I don't understand. The more time passes, the more days I'm separated from the war and from the old world and the old way of life, I just can't comprehend anymore how we ever lived in a place so horrific.

I feel my eyes spill over and I'm grateful that Cressida has stopped filming already, because if Plutarch saw any tears on film, he would make certain it ended up on television.

I wipe my tears with the heel of my hand, trying to go about it as subtly as I can, hoping no one else notices. For the most part, I'm golden. Enobaria is already exiting, with Beetee following not far behind. Jo's back is to me while she speaks to Annie, though as per usual, she seems to be irritated.

Of course, it's too much to ask for everyone to remain oblivious to my waterworks. Even as I rid myself of them before they become widely noticeable, I feel Peeta's eyes train on me and know, despite the distance between us for the last few weeks, he isn't going to ignore my upset.

To my surprise though, he doesn't speak. He doesn't utter a single syllable.

Instead, I feel his large, warm palm slip into mine and squeeze tightly, lacing our fingers together, in a way we have done thousands of times before. Like two puzzle pieces coming together to complete a picture, like two indivisible teammates that will fight against anything that is thrown their way, like two halves of a whole finally finding each other, his hand grasps mine with a vengeance and I know I won't be the one who let's go.

He's still holding my hand when we board the train, hours later.

//

A couple weeks later.

"Yes, Mrs. Greenstead, I will get the chocolate nut loaf and a platter of the cranberry cookies wrapped up for you... Yes, it will be ready by the time you arrive... No, I promise they won't be cold," Peeta assures through the bakery telephone—a new addition that Thom and his wife thought was necessary to run a proper bakery. So necessary they bought it for Peeta as an opening gift.

It's not that the gesture wasn't nice or that Peeta didn't deeply appreciate it. I personally saw that he did, wholeheartedly.

But seeing it on the wall every day was just another reminder to me of my own personal vendetta against the integration between the Capitol's way of life and the districts'.

The only place telephones used to exist, outside of the Capitol limits, was the houses in Victor's Villiage, and if I'm being honest, I wish it would have stayed that way.

Maybe I'm being selfish, as I happen to still reside inside a house that once belonged to the said village, therefore I already had experienced this luxury prior to the new world. But I just can't make myself break the association between the items that had recently become readily available for all and the horror that was the Capitol.

Still though, the change was inescapable Telephones, cameras, heating pads, curling irons, quick bake ovens, cars and so many other items, were all growing in popularly across each district. Not that I was able to see a lot of these changes personally. But letters from Annie and my mom, and the occasional—unprompted and yet still begrudged—call from Jo, all kept me informed. Sometimes more informed than I wished to be.

Maybe I would feel entirely different if these inventions were brand new to me. But they aren't. I'd seen and used every one of them before. Their novelty had always been lost on me, perhaps because my only experience them was while inside the Capitol, surrounded by tacky colors and strong rose scents and itchy materials, headed for a death match, my life and the lives of those I cared always at great risk.

Of course, the new item in the bakery did make some things easier. Days like today are a perfect example.

Harvest Day is only one day away and everyone is coming in for their breads and their desserts. Peeta says it was always one of the most popular days, for as long as he can remember. Only difference is, before the war only Peacekeepers and town folks could afford to purchase anything. And generally, most citizens who even did come in, could only purchase a limited amount of items.

Not now. I don't know where everyone in Twelve was coming up with the money or if Peeta's prices are just a drastic drop from that of his mother's, but today, I swear I've seen every citizen in town inside the bakery.

Makes me glad that the portrait of me is hanging in the back, where no one else can see it. As pretty as it may be, as talented as Peeta is, I don't want a giant version of me displayed for all to see.

"Here you are," I politely say, handing two loaves of warm bread to a man who must be new to Twelve, as I've never seen him before. I'm debating on asking if he moved here recently when he passes a bill to me over the top of the pastry display.

"Thank you, hon." He smiles at me, looking at me a little too closely for my liking, as he swiftly walks out the door. His exit is met with the arrival of Val, a boy Peeta and I went to school with, who definitely was more Peeta's crowd than mine.

Val is a regular customer at the bakery, having always genuinely liked the Mellark family. His parents owned a small carpentry shop four spaces down from the bakery, and even with both them dead, he and his two sisters rebuilt the store, taking over their parents' legacy.

Peeta though is more focused on me now than Val's order. "Give me a second," he calls to his old friend, a little less polite than he had been all morning. "Katniss, what's wrong?" He asks urgently, seeing the look in my eyes.

I shake my head and push away the anxiety threatening to close in on me. "Nothing, just..." I hesitate, not even wanting to say it. Peeta's gaze refuses to lessen though and I sigh before finally mumbling, "That guy. He creeped me out. The way he was looking at me so closely..."

Peeta's hand touches my arm for a brief moment before pulling it away, making it obvious that he regrets the small act of even so much as touching me. But his words are still calming and they relax me a little. "He's gone now, Katniss. And if he scares you, I won't let him come back, okay? There's nothing anyone can do to you or me anymore. We're safe."

I nod, knowing the words like the back of my hand at this point, as it's the same mantra we always repeat to each other, every time one of us begins to panic or flail. But still, I open my mouth to refuse his offer. I don't want Peeta to turn away any sort of business. Not with the unpredictability and uncertainty this new world still rests on. We never know if the bakery will sell anything tomorrow or if all sort of income will soon dry up.

And we're the lucky ones, financially speaking, who were rich before the war and allowed—in a generous declaration by President Paylor—to keep the entirety of our money after. I don't have to imagine the anxiety others in the country must be in, knowing the curse of poverty all too well. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.

"I don't want you to turn away people," I say quietly. "Not on my account. You need business to keep this place afloat."

"I have plenty of money, Katniss," he reminds me, a little darker than I expect. "And I'd rather you feel safe than own a popular shop."

His words unexpectedly touch me, unexpectedly cut right down to the depth of my bones, exposing my soft underbelly. I'm about to do something stupid, like touch his hand, when Val makes his presence known again. "Your shop is already the most popular in the district," he points out, not even a little ashamed for having listened to our conversation. "And besides, why don't you just look at the guy's name? Maybe you can look him up, see if he's alright or not."

Peeta gets a glint in his eye. "That's a good idea, Val, thank you." As he moves towards the register to, I can only suppose, look for the man's receipt with his name and signature, he gestures to his school friend. "Katniss can get your order."

I shoot him a glare, only half kidding. I did come to help out, here and there, today but I did not intend to be an actual expected employee. For free, no less.

Instead of saying anything though, I just grab Val his three cinnamon rolls, his two snack cakes, four bagels, white chocolate donut and a loaf with raisins and cranberries.

Val, like Delly Cartwright, was always one of the few people in Twelve who had a few pounds to spare.

Peeta has a type of friend.

"Found it," Peeta now calls, bringing over a slip of paper to where I'm handing Val his three bags of treats. "His name was Rod Catamaran."

Me and Val, for the first time perhaps, exchange a look between us. "That's an odd name for Twelve."

"I've never even heard that name before."

"He may not even be from Twelve, guys," Peeta says.

I roll my eyes. "Because a bombed out district is really a tourist attraction."

"Hey, none of that," Thom calls as he walks through the front door of the bakery, with Kanon Bagley on his heels. "We've rebuilt this place beautifully and negativity is not appreciated here."

"Yeah, Katniss," Peeta chimes in, teasing me. I'm about to kick him in his only real leg, as we're the only two behind the counter and no one else will see, when Kanon speaks up.

"Can I buy a couple of pastries?"

"Of course," Peeta says kindly, walking around me to personally grab the two items Kanon requests.

Kanon is new to Twelve. One of the few new additions this place gained after all that went down. He's a large man in his early twenties, with dark skin and dark hair and eyes to match. But the only times I've ever interacted with him, he's quiet as a mouse, his eyes a little forlorn at all times and he offers more discounts then he should at the candy shop he recently opened next to the bakery.

He's from District Eleven originally and it takes no real critical thinking to realize he had a hard life, even before the war.

I'm far too familiar with the look of scars etched across the eyes. So is Peeta.

That's why, when Kanon looks down at the money in his hand and realizes he doesn't have enough to afford both pastries, Peeta immediately brushes it off. "That's okay, they're on the house," he instantly promises, handing the small bag over to Kanon with a gentle smile.

"No, I don't want to take it without-"

"I made way too much," Peeta insists, lying outright to make it appear Kanon would be doing him a favor. I know he didn't make too much, because we've been flying through everything today and keeping the ovens hot in case more is needed.

Still though, I back up the fib. "He did. We've been wondering all day how we were gonna sell enough stuff so we don't have to feed the leftovers to Haymitch's geese."

Kanon glances between us shyly, before taking the bag from Peeta's hand and slipping the few dollars he does have into his pocket again. "Thank you," he says softly and turns to leave.

Thom pats Kanon on the back as he passes him, before turning to follow. When the other man isn't looking, he turns back to us subtly and mouths, "thank you."

I wanted to tell him not to thank me. I only watched Peeta make this food, I didn't assist by any stretch of the imagination. I didn't own the bakery or do anything with the money or finances. It was not my choice to give things away for free.

But I'm far too focused on the boy in front of me to say any of that. The boy with the bread, the boy who isn't really a boy anymore. The boy who just gave away food for no reward at all, even on the most demanding and strenuous day all year for his business. The boy who just showed Kanon Bagley the same kindness I begged someone-anyone-to show me at eleven-years-old and not one single person did.

Except for him. He did for me all those years ago what he did for Kanon just now, and I suddenly have the most inexplicable, irrepressible urge to kiss Peeta right then and there, in the middle of the bakery.

I don't, however, and it's for once not because I lost my courage. It's because the door swings open again, just as Val exits right behind Kanon and Thom.

It's the same man from earlier. "Hi," Peeta greets, this time not at all sweet. Clearly recognizing the man as the one who made me nervous before. "Can I help you?"

"Yes," the man affirms, his tone brighter than you'd expect given our chilly reception. And our blatant wariness for anyone new. "I forgot to get a pecan butter cake before?"

There is a beat where me and Peeta exchange a look, before I awkwardly move towards the display case and begin to pack up his item. Peeta waits for me to decide to help the man before starting to ring him up.

"That was a nice thing you both just did," the man says as he patiently watches me fold the white waxy paper over his pastry. "For that guy."

"You were watching?" Is the only thing that comes out of my mouth.

"Only for a moment," he explains, his tone still friendly. Either he doesn't know how to read people at all or he's the most even keeled person in Panem.

Because I know I'm being rude, to a man who maybe doesn't even deserve it, I force myself to say one thing conversational. "This is my mom's favorite dessert," I offer, gesturing to his cake.

The man raises his eyebrows in an act that looks almost feigned. "Really?"

I instantly regret trying to be even slightly pleasant. Even his mannerisms seem fake. I'm contemplating if I should say anything else or go hide in the back room with the warm ovens and my portrait, when Peeta presses a button and the register dings.

He's about to say the total when the strange man shakes his head and hands to me directly an unfamiliar bill over the display case. "Have a nice day, you two," he calls, grabbing his cake and swiftly walking out.

It's not until he's gone, not until I have a moment to process the second weird encounter with the odd person, that I even glance down at the crisp bill he handed me.

It's a bill with a larger number on the back than I've ever personally seen before. I knew these kinds of dollars existed—I'm sure I could have gotten plenty after my first games—but I'd never seen one in the flesh.

Peeta sees my reaction. "What is it?" His voice sounds alarmed and he's stepping closer to me, but all I can do is gasp out his name.

"Peeta, look." I hold up the bill and point to the number on the back.

His eyes widen too, taking in the amount with a dizzy smile. Of both relief that nothing's wrong and excitement at the digit.

"Do you think it was a mistake?" I ask suddenly, looking over my shoulder towards the window, wondering if we should track the man down and give him his money back, before he evaporates into thin air.

"No?" Peeta shakes his head, the wheels in his mind turning quicker than mine. His face turns to that of elation, as the large bill takes some pressure off the bakery's sales. "No, he said he saw us give Kanon a break. He was giving us something in return."

I'm about to say something else, I don't even know what, but it all flies out of my head when Peeta suddenly wraps his arms around my waist and swiftly pulls me into his embrace.

My entire body goes into lockdown and hypervigilance at the same time. I can't move an inch but it feels like every nerve in my body is abruptly tingling and on fire.

My sweater lifts up slightly and his bare arms graze my lower back, eliciting a shiver to run involuntarily down my spine as his face buries into my hair.

I wrap my arms around his neck after a beat when I can make myself move again, and I feel him smile against my skin. I'm so glad at that moment he's holding me up, because if he wasn't supporting my weight I'd probably crash to the floor, unable to even feel my legs beneath me.

And, as a rush of heat shoots out from the place where Peeta's lips brush my collarbone, I suddenly feel only gratitude, not irritation, at the strange Rod Catamaran.

//

Four days later.

The world surrounding me is green. Green and brown and fire-bitten and scorched. Every which way I spin, there's embers soaring from that direction too, waiting to lick me with their burning flames, ready to decimate me once and for all.

But through the smoke and haze, I still can see between the trees two blonde braids. I still can see a small figure standing on the other side of the fire. I still can see her shirt that's come untucked in the back, creating a duck tail that I desperately want to fix.

Just as I notice her, she whirls around to face me, her blue eyes big and bright and terrified. "Katniss!" She screams, the same way she did the last day she was alive. "Katniss, help! They're coming!"

I don't know who's coming or what's happening or where we even are, but all I feel is relief somehow. Relief that she's here, that I'm in her presence again, that she's almost within my reach. Instinctively I call out, "Prim!" Just so I can finally get a response to the name I've been shouting into oblivion for almost a year now.

"Katniss, help me!" She cries again and then looks over her shoulder. She's not talking about the fire between us, as it doesn't seem too intent on heading towards her.

I don't know what's coming or who she's afraid of, but my instincts now go into overdrive. My body suddenly snaps into alert and I whip my head around, to see if I can find an opening in the fire closing in on me, if I can find a way to get to the sister I lost what feels like only yesterday, if I can find a way to save her this time.

There's no gap in the fire though. It's crowded around me, front, back and side to side. The more seconds that pass by, the closer the fire folds into my proximity, and I have to brace myself before making a split-second decision.

But it's not really a decision at all. Prim needs me and I cannot fail her. I have to save her this time.

I take a bold step directly into the fire, with every intention of running through it somehow. Of running past the wild embers, scorching myself no doubt, but still making it over to my distressed, frightened little sister. But it doesn't work like I expect.

But really, does anything?

These flames are nothing like the fires I've encountered before. And I've been around more fire in my life than anyone ever should.

No, these flames don't burn me. They don't hurt me or put me through agony or singe me to pieces. They don't melt off my makeshift coat of skin and they don't further decimate it either.

Instead the fire feels like almost nothing. Like something almost itchy, something almost irritating, something almost painful. Something that make me want to squirm and scream and escape all at the same time.

Which is real ironic considering what else it seems these flames do.

They seem to hold me into place. The second I'm in their hold, instead of the horrific pain I thought I'd be in, I'm trapped in a series of almost nothing.

I'm not in excruciating pain physically, but seeing my sister standing ten feet from me, and not being able to move any closer, not being able to protect her from whatever she's terrified of, is worse than any amount of injury this fire could have inflicted.

"Katniss!" Prim screams now, her voice only growing in its frantic nature. "Help! Why won't you come help me?"

I try to scream, try to tell her I want to but I can't move. But it turns out that these flames also paralyze vocal muscles.

"Peeta's dying!" Prim yelps out, looking behind her again, her hands beginning to shake in a way she almost never let them in life. She always tried to keep it together, to remain calm and rational in a crisis.

Her words elicit something entirely new inside of me though. "Peeta?" I yell in confusion, my voice suddenly no longer paralyzed.

"They're killing him! Katniss, please, why won't you come here? We need you!" Prim is close to hysterical now and frankly, so am I.

"I'm trying! I just," I move my hands down my body, trying to push the flames away as they rises up to my chest, trying to just break free from these fiery chains once and for all. "The fire, Prim! I can't get out of the fire."

Prim's voice drops then, loses all source of fear, every ounce of panic. Loses any semblance of emotion. "Katniss, there is no fire," she states blankly, her eyes looking directly at the embers covering my stomach and legs. "There's nothing there."

I just look at her for a moment, completely speechless. Her words are inconceivable, her eyes are haunted now, her facial expression is unrecognizable. Even her voice doesn't sound like hers anymore.

Before I can comprehend what's happening, in the distance a gunshot goes off.

Prim delicately glances over her shoulder now, her blue eyes cold as ice. "He's dead," she informs clinically, before sighing deeply, her tone almost disappointed. "And so am I."

I don't know what happens next or how it occurs, but I fly upwards in my bed with such a start, I give myself whiplash.

I hear a loud screeching noise hanging in the air, a hoarse trepidation that almost makes me feel better. I don't know why but someone else screaming in the middle of the night gives me hope, as sick as that may be.

Only it's not someone else, I realize, as my throat burns raw. I realize with startling clarity that I'm the only making all the noise. I'm the one shaking so tremendously. I'm the one who is sobbing.

"Shhh," a voice whispers against the darkness, and I flail involuntarily at the shock. "Sorry, sorry," Peeta instantly apologizes, his hands gripping my arms with a little too much intensity, trying to still my shaking. "It's okay, Katniss, you were just having a nightmare."

His words do precious little to calm me down though. "She was there," I cry, the image, the feeling, of Prim standing only ten feet from me and not being able to reach her too painful for me to unsee.

"Who was there?" He asks tenderly, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. "Katniss, breathe."

I don't even bother listening to his advise. I haven't exhaled since I was eleven. "Prim was there. She was begging me to save her and then I couldn't, I was trapped but-but," I cut myself off, unable to form coherent words and thoughts any longer.

Peeta gets the gist though. "Come here," he whispers and pulls me into his arms, like he used to on the train, when my nightmares woke us both three times a night. "I'm so sorry, Katniss," he says softly now, and rubs my back in a way that elicits goosebumps. His way of trying to soothe my shaking. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"You died too," I blurt out then. I don't even know why I feel inclined to tell him.

"What?"

"I was stuck and I couldn't speak and then Prim said you were going to die and I got scared enough that I could talk again and I thought-I thought," I stumble breathlessly, my tears pouring out against his shoulder now.

I feel his lips touch my cheek and I'm too upset to revel in the feeling of blood rushing there. "It was just a nightmare," he promises.

But my sentiment is unfinished. "I thought I could break free, that I could-"

"Katniss," he halts, still holding me in his embrace, rocking me slightly. "It wasn't real. I promise you, it wasn't real."

Those words, the words so often said to him by me, ring a bell that I didn't want to ring. It snaps me back into reality abruptly and without warning, I feel like my chest is going to collapse.

Because this means Prim wasn't really there, that she still is as dead as she was yesterday, that I still watched her explode into pieces all over the bombsite in the Capitol.

I still failed to protect her.

Peeta pulls back slightly then and rests his forehead against mine. "It's okay, Katniss," he says again, trying to calm my trembles by rubbing my arms up and down.

"How are you in my house?" I realize, with an intense sudden clarity. "How are you here? Are you real or am I still-"

He quickly puts me out of my misery. "You gave me a key, remember? A long time ago? We gave each other keys to our houses."

Oh. Right. I forgot all about that when he had his nightmare, didn't I?

Good thing he's an idiot who keeps his door unlocked at night.

He's explaining further before I can think to ask. "I heard you having a nightmare from my house. That's why I rushed over here."

I'm caught between embarrassment and gratitude. "Sorry, I really don't know what brought it on."

"Hey," he quietly reprimands, lifting my chin now to meet eye contact. "Don't apologize. No one understands nightmares like me."

I nod, accepting his words, though still a little uncomfortable with screaming for all the district to hear at two in the morning.

Then again, our entire neighborhood is Haymitch and the two of us, and our mentor was drinking like a fish last night so really, the only person who could have heard me is already sitting directly in my eye line.

To punctuate his words, when I don't respond verbally, he lifts my hand up and brings it to his lips tenderly.

And I don't know what comes over me or why. I don't know if it's because we've been growing closer again lately or if I just haven't felt his arms around me since days ago in the bakery and I miss the feel of it desperately, but I find myself abruptly throwing my body around his before I can talk myself out of it.

He catches me easily, like he anticipated my reaction and sways me for a long moment, until my breathing begins to even itself out.

"Will you stay?" I rasp into his neck, as I feel his hand tangles in my matted locks.

"Always."

[orihime00sama]

Tobitate! Hanafuda - Fate/Prototype Route

Hello!

This is a translation of the Prototype route of the Toraburu Hanafuda Travel Journal game included in the PS Vita version of Realta Nua, Team “Miss Ayaka and her Three Knights” AKA the Otome route.

This is my first time translating something like this and I’m far from being good at Japanese, so there’s a bunch of lines I’m not sure about. If you have any suggestion or correction, please let me know. I’ll also be linking the translations to the videos in case you want to check out the original (or just hear the voices).

——————

Sajou Residence - Part 1

Ayaka: Hello, everyone. To those of you who are new, nice to meet you. I’m Ayaka Sajou. It’s a long story, but I’m a Master in the Holy Grail War. My Master’s Degree is the Seventh. It’s the lowest, the weakest. Honestly, I want to quit right now, but the circumstances won’t let me. By the way, I don’t have any relatives. I lost my Dad in the previous Holy Grail War, and my elder sister who was one of the previous Masters is… well.

Saber: Ayaka, you didn’t check the mailbox yet, right? I’ll go do it. After that, let’s have some tea.

Ayaka: This is Saber. The first Servant I summoned and made a contract with. He’s the ideal good young man any girl thinks of, in other words, someone like Prince Charming[1]. He’s so perfect that it makes me feel uncomfortable. Also, he’s a bit of an airhead.

Lancer: Osu, good morning~. Oh, the fridge’s got a lotta ham, ain’t it. And there’s sliced bread and eggs and… All that kinda stuff, huh.

Ayaka: That’s Lancer. In the past, he was our enemy but now he’s a barbarian who lodges in our house and raids our fridge without permission. He may be a borderline trespasser, but he’s helped us out many times, so I’ve got no choice but to let him do it. Give and take, give and take. Besides… if you ignore his crude side, he’s the easiest to understand.

Lancer: Oh, you’ve got a serious face early in the morning, Missy. Back to your usual criticisms? Keep your self-hatred in moderation, ‘kay?

Ayaka: I don’t want to hear that from someone who rummages through our fridge with no warnings. Leave me alone. Lancer, are you off today?

Lancer: Ah, I’ve got no plans for today. I’ll tend to the Missy’s garden, or maybe play with the dogs.

Saber: Unfortunately, tending to the garden is my job. It is not your turn to act. Why don’t you get back to your original sheath, Lancer?

Lancer: I’ve been free from the start. But since the Missy asked me to guard[2] her, I gotta do my job. There’s still some unscrupulous bunch left around. Like, for example, a wolf[3] in prince’s clothing.

Saber: Bold of you to say that. Now then, is it an honour or an insult to be treated as a wolf by a wild dog? What do you think, Ayaka?

Ayaka: I don’t know! More importantly, what’s that envelope? There’s two of them.

Saber: Ah, it looks like they were delivered this morning. Here you go.

Ayaka: Err, let me see… “Are you familiar with the hot spring that can make any wish come true? Here is the oldest and best hot spot in Fuyuki City －However, only the wishes of the first group will come true. Please be ready.” … So it says. What is this, are they joking?

Lancer: Incredible… Is it an invitation to a Holy Grail War from another place? What, Holy Grail Wars can happen anywhere?

Saber: Doesn’t it have different rules from ours? Here, Ayaka, another one.

Ayaka: … This is a memo and … a ticket for the bullet train? Let’s see… “I’ll be waiting for you at the Fuyuki Holy Grail Hot Spring ♥" … They’re totally looking down on us.

Saber: So, the Fuyuki Holy Grail is actually a hot spring. Ours was a hellish cauldron, so I guess they’re not similar.

Lancer: A hot spring, huh, not bad at all. But well, this is up to you, Missy. What will you do? The other side even sent an invitation to make sure you’d go. Will you jump in?

Ayaka: … That… going by my life plans, I don’t want to go but… (Going by my feelings, it made me mad… Besides, if that hot spring that makes wishes come true is real, then…)

Archer: I have heard the whole story!

Ayaka: Archer!? Where did you get in from?

Archer: Obviously, from the window! Don’t worry about the little details, Ayaka! Else your cheek lines, lovely and beautiful as a flamingo, will fall.

Lancer: Is that a compliment? That’s a compliment, right?

Saber: What have you come here for, Archer? As you can see, we’re in the middle of a morning reunion. If you’ve come here to settle things, come back through the front door one hour later.

Archer: Hah, you fools. Are you even Heroic Spirits, those proclaimed to have no match on the earth? From the very beginning, we are those who bloomed on the battlefield. We respond to challenges, trample down our enemies, and gather treasures.

Archer: I don’t know about a war someplace else, but if it is a Holy Grail War, then it’s a given that Heroic Spirits would assemble. How can I call myself the original Heroic Spirit, the Senpai of Holy Grail Wars, if I don’t respond to this challenge!?

Ayaka: ………………

Saber: Hmph. As usual, you are a very hot-blooded man. If you want to fight, feel free to do it on your own. I’m against exposing Ayaka to danger.

Lancer: But being overprotective is also something to think about. The Missy these days isn’t as frail as you think, Saber. Or what? Are you holing up at home so you can keep her to yourself?

Saber: Wha－ I, I don’t have such impure thoughts often.

Ayaka: Let’s go! Saber, I’m going to this Holy Grail Hot Spring. Get prepared.

Saber: Ayaka!? Hah, it was already too late the moment you decided it. It can’t be helped, I’m not on board with this but I’ll accompany you.

Lancer: Missy, do you need your long weapon? If you need it, I’ll lend it to you.

Ayaka: Of course, come with us, Lancer. And you too, Archer. The four of us will conquer Fuyuki City.

Archer: Now you’re talking! As expected from my princess, you know the time to fight.

Ayaka: We’ll depart in 20 minutes. I have to go gather the bird feathers in the yard, so wait until then.

(She runs off)

Saber: Now you’ve done it, Archer. You’re always leading Ayaka down the bad path.

Archer: Good or bad is for Ayaka to judge. You cannot blame me. More importantly… Hey, lend me your ears. I have an idea.

Saber: ?

Lancer: Hn?

Archer: Hot springs are this land’s highest form of leisure. I’ve heard that they are summer resorts where lovers and married couples stay in. How about it? The one who does best in this expedition will get to be in the same room as Ayaka.

Archer: If it is a reward for the battle, even Ayaka who always has her guard up cannot oppose to it. And after your minds and bodies relax in a famous hot spring, the flower of romance will bloom.

Saber: …

Lancer: Incredible… Wait, this is all in your head, right? Didn’t you fail with terrible women?

Archer: It is unavoidable. To debauch is a king’s duty. I have the obligation of consuming fruit and flesh.

Archer: However, what I truly cherish is the one single flower. I’ve gotten tired of rotten meat and juice. Now, what will you do, Saber, Lancer? Will you take a knight’s oath?

Lancer: No, so we’re keeping it a secret from the Missy?

Saber: Okay, I will take it. The one who does best will share a room with Ayaka, right?

Lancer: You’re on board with this!?

Saber: Archer’s proposal makes sense. This is something I never imagined even in my dreams, but now I’ll work together with this man.

Lancer: Good grief… It can’t be helped, I’m on board. It’s a principle to have the feast in front of you, after all.

Archer: HAHAHAHA, how bold, wild dog! Now then, let us duel fair and square, with sharing Ayaka’s room as stake!

Ayaka: Sorry to keep you waiting. What are you four doing? Did you always get along like this?

Saber: N-no, we were just discussing something. Don’t worry about. Once the battle is over, I’ll tell you everything.

Ayaka: In that case, it’s fine, I guess… Well then, let’s go. I don’t know about the Fuyuki Holy Grail War, but let’s show them a difference in history!

(Stage 1 – Vs Team Tokiomi)

Victory Quote:

Archer (Prototype): You fools! You mediocre Heroic Spirits shouldn’t stand before me! Especially you, that golden one over there. Wearing a full body golden armour, there are limits to how inelegant you can be! In that case, I shall take it.

[1] Prince on a white horse

[2] Likely referring to how Lancer becomes her Servant after she lost Saber (and he lost Misaya)

[3] the actual word used was “Okuriōkami” (送り狼) which apparently is a term for “a ‘gentleman’ who escorts a woman home, only to make a pass at her”.

—————–

Fuyuki – Emiya Residence - Part 2

Saber: Ayaka, how about we have lunch here? This mansion is well-maintained, and perfect for resting. Besides, I feel a strange affinity to it. Especially to that storehouse. It must be a renown work of architecture, there’s no mistaking it.

Lancer: I’m more interested on the inside of the house. Like, a surprise attack from the ceiling of the living room. I wonder why Japanese-style houses are so full of openings.

Archer: I am interested in that wall. It may be inferior to skyscrapers, but it has quite the charm to it. Well now, let’s go climb it.

Ayaka: It’s embarrassing, so please don’t wander around too much. What are you, middle schoolers on a field trip!?

Saber: My apologies, that was rude. Indeed, it’s as you say. Even if they are our enemies, we should act in moderation. It’s unfortunate but let’s refrain from lunching. But you’re not taking a break, right? Are you tired, Ayaka?

Ayaka: U-Uh-huh. I’m getting used to the Hanafuda duels but… Isn’t this city weird? Everyone walking around has empty eyes like a dead fish. Could it be a characteristic of this provincial city? Look, there’s a harbour nearby, right? Like an octopus monster came from the sea and turned all humans into its familiars.

Saber: That’s “something like a summon “. You still have that hobby of reading gloomy books like always, Ayaka. Haha.

Ayaka: Don’t call them gloomy! Who cares about my hobbies? We are talking about the dead fish eyes! Look, right there!

Kiritsugu: *chewing*

Saber: …. T-that… His eyes really are empty…

Ayaka: Looks like he didn’t notice us… He’s just been there in a hiding spot, eating from a plastic piece.

Kiritsugu: *chewing* … This is Iri’s homemade cooking. I can eat it. Of course I’ll eat it. Even if it’s onigiri that changed like depleted uranium. *chewing* Ah, I’m happy… Shit, I’m so happy that I even started crying.

Ayaka: It’s better if we leave him alone. He’s gross.

Saber, I know you made this lunch, but let’s leave. I’m sorry, but let’s have it later… Saber!?

Artoria: *chewing* It has a nostalgic, wild taste from somewhere but it’s not bad. Ah, could you give me some tea, lady over there? I’m holding the turkey with both hands, so my hands are busy.

Ayaka: S-S-Saber turned into a girl!? W-what’s going on!?

Saber: Ouch… To suddenly strike my head from behind, that’s unbecoming of the chivalry code… Wait, who are you!?

Artoria: Hmph, from what I see, you are a naïve man, Pendragon. While you collapsed, I took your delicious lunch!

Ayaka: Even if you play it cool, you already ruined it! Saber, who is this? Could she be your younger sister?

Saber: That’s what I want to know! Who on earth are you!? If you are a knight even in the slightest, then name yourself!

Artoria: Hmph, you say “even in the slightest” after I got you, you make me laugh. I am both your shadow and a possibility of your future. *chewing* Draw your sword, Holy Sword Wielder. Show me how much power the original wields.

Saber: … I wonder what’s this feeling of disappointment I never felt before… However, as you can see, we are both of the Saber Class. As an opponent, there is nothing lacking about you. Lancer, Archer, don’t interfe—re!?

Lancer: Oouaahh, what’s up with this hawk!? Don’t pull my feather accessory! It’s not from your nest!

Archer: Aaargh, step back, Animose! Why are there gorillas around the wall!? And you, Roland, don’t swing me around!  Don’t swing me around!  

Irisviel: Ufufufufu, go get them, wire animals! Flying Guillotine (Hawk’s Name) on the tights-less Lancer! Gattling Brothers (Gorillas’ Name) on the nudist Archer!

Irisviel: If you’re going to make them, gorillas really are the way to go! Primitive power is really different!

Kiritsugu: Iri… What on earth happened? … No, I have to observe this place. I’ve got to find out the reason why the two of us were in a hole!

Irisviel: Ufufu, hahahahaha! Anyone who invades my Sweet Home with Kiritsugu won’t be forgiven! Prepare yourselves, I’ll whip you to the skin of the butt and then throw you out penniless!

Ayaka: And over here, an incredible beauty is getting drunk! What on earth is going on in this city!?

(Stage 2 – Vs Team Kiritsugu)

Victory Quote:

Ayaka: We went a bit overboard… but no matter how you put it, those guys were weird… What’s going on with this city’s Holy Grail?

—————–

Part 3

Fuyuki/Prototype Grail Pit - Part 3

Ayaka: Is this… Fuyuki’s Holy Grail Hot Springs? Rather than a hot spring, this…

Lancer: It looks exactly like our Greater Grail. Did we get tricked?

Archer: No, we probably just took the wrong path. My intuition tells me that if we had gone up on that last crossroad, we’d get to the hot spring.

Ayaka: Is that so? Archer’s got an amazing nose for money and treasures, so I think it might be true… but the ticket says that it should be around here.

Archer: Let me see that… Hoh, I see, so that’s what’s going on. The way is indeed correct. However, it is not meant for us! Saber, this concerns only you!

Saber: What? Why only me?

Archer: FUHAHAHAHA, you still don’t understand, you oaf? This ticket wasn’t sent to Ayaka! It is a love letter overflowing with love that pinpointed you!

Saber: Wha-what!? Don’t tell me… Then, the one waiting for me here is…!

Manaka: SABER!! You’ve finally arrived!  

Saber: !!!

Manaka: Jeez, your face turned so pale. You’re so happy that your face went stiff…Saber really is my prince! I love you! I love you so much to the point I’d sacrifice every life in this planet, Saber!

Lancer: Well, we’re off then. Hang in there, ladykiller.

Archer: Fu, so you’re dropping out alone. Time to pay the piper[1], Saber.

Ayaka: ………

Manaka Sajou. My sister, six years my elder. She’s Saber’s former Master who, in the previous Holy Grail War, advanced through almost invincible. I don’t like to talk about her so I’ll spare you the details, but if I had to describe her, I’d say she’s a super devilish genius who wouldn’t die even if you killed her.

Manaka: Now, come over here, Saber. I prepared a special bath just for you. Oh, unless you’d rather have dinner first? Or just like last time in front of the Holy Grail, YOU’LL • HAVE • ME?

Ayaka: Huh, this is the first time I’ve heard about this, Saber. So something happened between you and my Big Sister. In front of the Greater Grail, too?

Saber: T-this is a misunderstanding! What happened was that I impaled (with the Holy Sword) a mad Manaka from behind with a thud!

Ayaka: From behind… with a thud… for real!?                                            

Manaka: Uh-huh, that’s right♥!  That passionate way, it felt like the world froze for a moment… That’s why… I’ll do the same to you, Saber. Goes without saying, I’ll do it from behind. Leaving no gaps, every nook and cranny of your body. Just like a large-flowered flower. No, like the stars of the shinning sky. Receive my tentacles until you’re all shiny and slippery♥!

Saber: That’s no good, Manaka. It’s true that I betrayed you twice. The first time when I backstabbed you. The second time when I made a contract with Ayaka. So, I’m prepared to have you seek revenge.

Ayaka: Saber…

Saber: But, now let’s remember words of love that are more heroine-like. A girl your age shouldn’t say things like “receive my tentacles"⋆.

Lancer & Ayaka: Urk…!

Manaka: Saber…! Yes, from now on I’ll be more careful! How about the lovely “Manaka Slaughter Whips”?

Ayaka: I’ve been thinking about it since back then, but could it be that you actually are a perfect match for Big Sister, Saber?

Lancer: Well, they’re both airheads, after all. Maybe they could work out as lovebirds[2].

Manaka: That’s right, you people I don’t know. Saber and I are fated lovers. I won’t forgive you if you get in our way. Or rather, I don’t need you. I’ll burn you all on the Greater Grail later.

Ayaka: ….! Don’t tell me, the townspeople looking dead inside was your doing, Big Sister?

Manaka: Yes. Since I had spare time waiting for Saber to come, I went and took over Fuyuki City. After all, in a wedding ceremony, the more the merrier, right? Of course, right after that, I’ll turn everyone into zombies.

Ayaka: … I really can’t let her do as she pleases… I feel bad for her, but just by being here she’s evil. Saber, Lancer, Archer, let’s go! This time for sure, I’ll seal my relative’s disgrace!

Manaka: Fufufu, very well. Welcome, Miss Obstruction. I’ll play with you to kill my bore— Eh? Relative? You? Such a plain character?

Ayaka: Oh geez, you really couldn’t tell…! Just how self-centered are you, Big Sister?

(Stage 3 – Vs Manaka)

Defeat Quote:

Manaka: Ahh, you finally came back to my hands, Saber! First, let’s have some tea, then an afternoon nap. I have so much I want to talk about with you!

Victory Quote:

Ayaka: Thanks for helping me, everyone. I couldn’t have won alon— eh? The Hot Spring as the reward? Right after this? Well, it can’t be helped if it’s a reward but… I have a bad feeling about this…

[1] Just adding this here because this was actually my first time hearing this idiom:

to pay expenses for something, and thus be in a position to be in control;

to pay a monetary or other debt or experience unfavourable consequences, especially when the payment or consequences are inevitable or a result of something one has enjoyed.

[2] Baka couple

—————-

Fuyuki Holy Grail Hot Springs -  Part 4 - Ending

Ayaka: And so, after we safely defeated Big Sister, put her to sleep with a sleeping pill, coffin-packed and delivered her to the Church… we finally arrived at the Hot Spring, but…

Ayaka: No way, mixed bathing!?

Lancer: Oh, this is something you don’t see often these days. The guy who made this was really smart.

Saber: Yes, this is what they call gender equality. By the way, Lancer, how about taking at least a towel? It’s minimal manners to wrap it around your waist.

Lancer: My bad. It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten. What about you, swimsuits are forbidden, y’know? We’re both men, so there’s nothing to hide, right?

Saber: Of course, I didn’t bring such a boorish thing. Having a swimsuit is desecrating the hot springs. Isn’t that right, Ayaka?

Ayaka:  Argh, you guys— No, Lancer is one thing, but Saber! This is a mixed bath, are you okay with this!? Could it be you don’t understand the meaning of mixed bath?

Saber: I do. It’s a public bath without a men’s bath and a women’s bath. I’ve heard that this culture has been familiar to Japan since the Edo period.

Lancer: Yeah. Well then, I’m going ahead to the dressing room. You should hurry too, Missy. You promised that the reward would be the hot springs. Don’t tell me you’re going to take that back?

Ayaka: I-it’s true that I said that, but…

Saber: Ayaka, a lord must always go through with their servants’ rewards. It goes without saying, but that’s a condition to becoming a first-rate Master.

Ayaka: Wha-wha-wha—

Saber: Well, it’s my turn. Come, let us take off our clothes and enter the hot spring.

Ayaka: Guh, Saber you idiot———! I can’t believe that only at times like this you guys get along…! (But this is bad, this development is bad…! Think, me! I can’t avoid the mixed bathing no matter what… In that case… That’s right!)

Ayaka: Wait, you two. A little timeout! I’m going in first, so until then, don’t go in!

Lancer: Uh? Well, I don’t mind.

Saber: Neither do I. Both getting in first or getting in later are good.

Ayaka: Geez, those animals! Heh, but that became fatal. Just you watch, this is my counterattack.

(That huge wall behind her is the result)

Saber & Lancer: Y-you had that move!?

Ayaka: Uff, I’m saved… “Make a wall to separate the genders in the hot spring.” I ended up using it for such a stupid wish but it’s a story that sprang up from the start. I guess a wish like this is something within my means.

Lancer: How could this be? The Missy’s Eleventh-Hour strength is the real deal… What will we do, Mr. Knight? Even though the treasure is right in front of us, we’ve been left in limbo.

Saber: …. Lancer, no matter how you put it, we are weapons of mass destruction. The Noble Phantasms we wield are not for saving people.

Lancer: Right. Fine, let’s destroy it.

Saber: Yes, let’s destroy it.

Ayaka: Wh— I can hear you clearly from here! What are those two thinking!?

Saber: Let’s do it on 3. Even if it’s a wall created by the Holy Grail, if it gets hit by a direct hit of our Noble Phantasms—

Archer: Hold it! And you still call yourselves renowned Heroic Spirits? How can you not understand a bashful girl’s feelings!?

Archer: You fools! Cool down your heads and reflect on your actions! If you fool around in the bedroom, that’s your secret, but this is a hot spring! A place for decent relationships!

Lancer: What…

Saber: … on earth?

Archer: In the first place, seeing the bride’s nakedness is only after marrying properly! I, the King of Heroes, will not allow you to destroy this wall without Ayaka’s permission! Now, correct yourselves, you idiots! Listen well! I won’t let you disgrace Ayaka’s purity while I’m alive!

Saber: S-such seriousness! I can’t believe it, are you Ayaka’s mother?

Archer: At least call me her Big Brother! I have the “reliable university student senpai” position, after all!

Lancer: Oh, in that case, I’m the unpopular host of the neighbourhood. I’m one of the Missy’s senpai in senior high school.

Saber: Wha… Then, what about me? Rider is the classmate, so what other positions are there?

Archer: Hm… How about the blond exchange student who homestays at the Sajou house?

Lancer: Oh, that sounds nice. How about one who speaks Japanese in a funny way but is actually the prince of a certain country? It’s a pretty fitting role, right?

Saber: Guh… It’s frustrating but I can’t deny it.

Saber: It looks fun, so let’s think about the setting a little more. In the meantime, what does Ayaka do in the first place?

Ayaka: Like I said, I can hear you clearly. They’re getting all excited… Don’t they actually get along really well? Geez, and I’m the only one here… Oh well, I don’t mind. It’s a nice bath, and it’s a refreshing travel mood. I’m glad I came.

Ayaka: In reality, these are just alternate versions of ourselves, but doing something like this once in a while isn’t bad. Right, Dad?

Saber: By the way, Ayaka. Why did you, who hates fighting, decide to do it this time? Were you attracted by the hot spring?

Ayaka: Hn? It’s not that I hate fighting, it’s just that I don’t like going through scary experiences.

Saber: What?

Ayaka: This time it was full of opponents we’d obviously beat. It’s just like Archer said, we’re their senpais. That’s why I didn’t think we’d lose to anyone except Big Sister. After all, they were all within our range, right?

Lancer: …

Archer: …

Saber: I understand what you want to say. Yes. It’s hard to explain but the one I fear the most is Ayaka.

—————–

Random Duel Quotes:

Ayaka

“All right, all right♪!”

“Uwaah… What a careless mistake…”

“Too bad for you!”

“Yay!”

Saber

“I won’t give you any openings.”

“I’ll be taking that.”

Lancer

“You shouldn’t look somewhere else.”

“Guess this is what they call ‘killing two birds with one stone’.”

“I’m not done going wild yet.”

Archer

“Praise this unfaltering procedure!”

“Something like this isn’t enough!”

Ayaka & Saber

A: “Please, come to me! Saber!”

S: Yes, here I go, Ayaka!“

S: "You’re doing well, Ayaka.”

A: “T-thanks… This is just the usual, though.”

S: “What, this is just a scratch.”

A: “Are you alright, Saber?”

Ayaka & Lancer

L: “Let’s start, Missy?”

A: “Right, this time it’s a speed match, Lancer!”

A: “Good job, Lancer.”

L: “Not yet, there’s still more to come, Missy.”

L: “Ouch…!”

A: “Lancer, here, have some ointment!”

Ayaka & Archer

A: “Are you alright, Ayaka?”

A: “Y-yes, thank you very much.”

Tokiomi & Kotomine

T: “Impossible! I refuse to accept such an ending!”

K: “Hoh? Are you that frustrated, my teacher?”

Gilgamesh:

“Rather than the nonsense of victory or defeat, what truly is an eyesore is that conceited, prideful face of yours! Let us continue. I won’t allow you to refuse!”

Artoria & Iri:

A: “I’ll stave them off here. You have to retreat!”

I: “It’s alright, Saber! Believe in your Master!”

Irisviel:

“Hanafuda duels sure are fun, Saber!”

“Whatever it takes, right?”

Artoria:

“If you still will not give me your name, then stand up and come at me!”

Kerry & Iri:

K: “It’s enough, Iri. We have to retreat for now.”

I: “Y-yes… I’m sorry, dear.”

Manaka:

“For a mere toy to try to defy me.”

“Come forth, city of decadence. The night is long, sweet and cruel.”

“You do really cruel things to a lady.”

“Save me, Saber!"  

—————— Character art

Ending CG in high quality

————–

My Final Thoughts

[hopevalley]

I’m back, and with the usual nonsense. 

I’ve been thinking about that potential novelization again. Heck, I dreamed a while back that I was going to tweet Hallmark to ask “permission” to do it (but ended up tweeting them in the dream to novelize the Wedding March series instead). It’s fanfic. I don’t need permission to write it!!! (Dream!Me was stressed out at the idea that Hallmark could say yes, because then I’d be locked into writing it. I’m still marveling at Dream!Me’s confidence.)

I’m gonna ramble about the potential for a novelization of When Calls the Heart here, just ‘cause I can. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings and nowhere to put them. Read on if you’d like!

I like When Calls the Heart! I really do. It’s had its ups and downs, but overall things have been pretty darn awesome.

I don’t think any of us would be here if there wasn’t something about the show that really captured us, took us by storm. For some people it was the romance. For others, the friendships. I know people who watch the show for specific characters or character arcs (Henry comes to mind), or because they like the feel-good nature of the series while it deals with some realistically awful situations/issues; the Lee and Rosemary and the infertility plotline that popped up in S6 comes to mind, here.

Honestly, I wish I could trust someone else to novelize the tv series the way I’d like to see it done. Unfortunately I’m a picky baby and I have very specific ideas of what these characters are like from a more intimate POV than we get with the show, so...if I want it done, I gotta do it myself. (RIP my free time, though.)

The biggest roadblock, though is...feedback.

This fandom is notorious for being terrible about ‘participating’ and fanfic isn’t everyone’s cup of tea anyway. Imagine working your tail off to produce a well-crafted novelization of the series only for it to get ignored. I’d probably never write again...and that’s not me being dramatic, either. I think it’s fair to say “my time is worth something” and stick to that. It is. My time is worth a lot to me. I could use it to clean the house, do dishes, spend time with my husband, play with the cats, clean the yard, do gardening, work longer hours and get paid, play video games, crochet, et cetera. I have an endless supply of hobbies! It’s harder than it sounds, because it means I can’t ever dedicate tons of time to just, you know, one of them. On the plus side it means I’ve got something waiting in the wings no matter what mood I’m in!

The possibility exists that the story would be a surprise success, too. I mean, I doubt it (judging by the numbers, fanfic for this series isn’t that popular), but...you never know! Jack and Elizabeth are a focal point of the first few seasons and a novelization of the series would also support this.

Anyway, I think I said before that I was toying with the idea of pre-writing five chapters, posting them a week or two apart, and gauging interest based off of that. If people aren’t interested, I can abandon the project early enough into it that nobody has to feel sad about it. If people are into the idea, and take the time to comment on the chapters... Well, it looks like I’d have to keep going.

It’s just a struggle to get started.

For two reasons. 

The first is the possibility of failure. Now, you could say it’s not a failure if you complete the project, or no time spent on a hobby is wasted, but for me that just isn’t true—at least not completely. Writing is a hobby, but it’s a very personal hobby. I pour a lot of myself into those stories, into storytelling, and the very point of writing for me, especially when I post it online, is the social aspect of it. Fanfiction is a social hobby! When nobody comments on the story, nobody favorites it, nobody bookmarks it... 

Well, I might as well have just left it all in my head and not taken the time to write it down.

The second is...Elizabeth, and by extension, Jack. And, uh, by extension of that, Jack/Elizabeth.

Hear me out!

I think both characters have some good foundations going for them. Season 2 shattered a lot of the good things they had going on for the Dramaz (which I wholeheartedly disagree with), but I feel fully capable of warping the S2 events to better suit the characters we ended up with (and to avoid some of the unnecessary meaningless drama that never did sit right with me). I just feel like both characters are...a little bit...empty? And especially for focal characters, they need depth that the show just simply refused to provide outside of Dramatic Situations.

I’ve been working through some of that in my head. Something I always liked about Elizabeth was how she unapologetically enjoyed being rich! Whether she was in Coal Valley or Hamilton she sported fashionable things. She loved going shopping with her sisters, dressing up for dinner, et cetera. Her vague ignorance of people like Abigail visiting (welcome in the house, but definitely unaware of ‘dressing for dinner’) was this really nifty mix of like...endearing and frustrating. I think playing that up a little further, or rather...bringing it to the forefront, might be a great idea.

--

Speaking of Abigail, I think the character was an excellent addition to the series in the beginning and I’d prefer to continue along those lines, here. I’d fully plan to include her, but with my own slight twist on things; she stays Abigail. No Lorigail.

I can’t decide exactly what to do with some of the other characters, though. I greatly enjoyed Cat and her children, and as Emily is still around later I feel like I’d want to keep her around, but she needs a role to fill and it doesn’t feel quite right to relegate her to the very background when Elizabeth spent the first season going up to bat for her. I think I could figure it out easily enough, but it’s another consideration I’m up against.

--

Of course, this is all kind of hinging on the idea that the first five chapters would be met with some measure of success, because if people kind of shrugged over them it won’t matter what I do with Cat or anyone else.

Anyway I feel like it should be stated outright that I have no real intentions of completely altering anything...at this time. That could definitely change, though, if the readerbase wanted it badly enough and I felt it was appropriate. There are some things that I think need more attention, but that’s not the same as altering events, per se. Bill as a character comes on really mysterious but what’s the point of writing him that way when the entire potential readerbase already knows he’s married? Already knows about the counterfeit plotline? It might actually be more fun to get into his head and write some of those scenes from his perspective (third person limited, not first person; I despise first person). Then we have his reasoning (stupid or not) instead of the mystery.

Therein lies the reasoning necessary for anyone to actually start reading it in the first place: it offers something the tv show doesn’t (because text-based mediums can get into people’s heads and narratively examine their psyche) but doesn’t actually deviate hard from what people already know and like about the show. I guess you could say that it’s giving them more of what they like?

--

I think the difficult part of balancing a novelization has to do with the points of view; do you pick a few and stick with those? Do you GRRM it up and everyone gets it sometimes, or do you choose the scenes and select the narrative based specifically on how that scene would best be told, which could result in some people having more scenes than others?

I’m leaning a little toward the latter with the idea that some characters will probably never get their own scenes, because if a character is only allowed to have one, why bother even giving them that? I’m not sold on the idea though, because I can’t even choose a character who wouldn’t get a scene. Probably characters who just aren’t around enough for it to matter? I’m thinking about characters like Greta (the investor) or Jenkins (bank manager) more than I am even characters like Ray Wyatt, ‘cause at least Ray sticks around in the story for a reasonable period of time (and therefore might deserve a scene or two along the way).

(Though I mean, I can’t say for sure. We all know what happens to these characters, so maybe I’d have to stick with giving characters scenes who will eventually join the ensemble of Hope Valley? Hm.)

I guess it’s something to think about.

--

Rolling again with the assumption that the story is a success (let’s just be confident, here!) there are future aspects of the series that didn’t really do it any favors and/or weren’t presented in a satisfactory manner.

I’ll give a few examples off the top of my head: Season 2′s drama, Lorigail, AJ and Bill’s weird relationship dynamic, wedding drama for Jack and Elizabeth.

I can swallow a lot of nonsense! I like drama...when it’s interesting and done well. What I don’t appreciate is the cheap stuff, designed to fling a roadblock in the way of a romantic couple. Jack and Elizabeth didn’t need Charles to make things feel off/weird/bad, or for Jack to be made to feel unwelcome. I personally think the entirety of the S2 plot could be better shaped and molded for the characters. We can still have drama, but not at the expense of the characters’ integrity!

Just throwing ideas out there, but in the novels Elizabeth’s original contract was only for a year, so when that year was up and it was the summer break from school, she returned to Hamilton and waited to hear from Coal Valley to find out if she’d be invited back there for the next school term. I’m not against Elizabeth’s mother falling ill to get her back to Hamilton, but I’d prefer if her...extended stay there didn’t hinge of iffy (flimsy) health stuff. They resolved that way too neatly and it was just... I don’t know. It could have been better done, maybe to offset the potential for drama.

As far as Lorigail goes, I think Abigail taking on a role in town as part of the town council and eventually stepping up as mayor should come at a cost, and those costs eventually lead to her giving up her role as mayor (which would take care of a lot of the lorigail issues of her just being involved in everything). Obviously this is so far in the future it’d hinge on a very successful story overall, but I’m busy being confident so I’m willing to entertain the idea that someday I’d have to address this. 

AJ also doesn’t show up for a very long time but her introduction was pretty mediocre, and Bill’s reaction to her (not chasing her down instantly) didn’t make a lick of sense. Bill isn’t easily swayed by anyone’s dumb opinion, and he’s not a romantic in the traditional sense so it’s hard to imagine a kiss from a stranger made him slack on his job duties. An easy fix here would just be to show the good moments that had to have existed between the bad ones. The only reason Bill would let AJ go without even trying to find her is if he feels that 1) she doesn’t deserve to be jailed, and/or 2) she’s safer if she’s free. It’s not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but I think it’d be a real shame not to ‘fix’ the issue while possible.

Finally, with the wedding drama... Honestly they didn’t need any of it. The church didn’t need to burn. If we want wholesome content: there’s been a bit of a drought and there aren’t any nice flowers for the wedding, so Elizabeth’s dad remembers that his girls used to like making paper flowers and organizes everyone to use colored paper to make them so they can string them up in the church. I mean, something little like that doesn’t really change the backbone of the story we’re getting (I mean, we’re here for Jack and Elizabeth’s wedding, a celebration of happiness, not for the drama that ends up being completely meaningless). Cute mishaps on the wedding day would be much better/more interesting/tell a better story.

(Or maybe Bill just about completely misses the wedding and then we get Lee and Rosie’s rings being used, which sort of ties in with how close Elizabeth gets with them in S6 storylines...)

--

The more I think about it, the more potential for an amazing story I find in this, and the more excited I get. 

Henry is SUCH an interesting character; it would be amazing to get into his head early on.

Imagine getting to see Elizabeth and Abigail’s friendship actually form.

Clara’s relationship with other people, like Abigail and Elizabeth, but also exploring the specific kind of grief she feels vs. the grief Abigail feels and how that might clash/be different.

Exploring the different relationships the women in town had with their husbands. Some were obviously still in love, some not so much, others ready to move on quickly and a few completely closed to the idea.

A schoolhouse/group of kids that isn’t replaced every ten seconds and remains somewhat consistent...

Getting to write Jack and Elizabeth actually falling in love over the big and the little things. 

Elizabeth as a passionate teacher.

Characters dealing with nightmares, good dreams, dreams about their friends or potential love interests... I want to see real raw human emotion, here! The good stuff, definitely, but maybe some of the bad, too, because writing the different ways they deal with it could be...fun.

Abigail being Abigail and staying Abigail... ♥

HOBBIES being a part of everyday life!!

CHURCH!!!!! SERMONS! Worship! Gathering together for meals! 

Rewriting some of the dangerous scenes to actually FEEL dangerous.

Writing in Julie’s perspective would be SO much fun.

Including travel time for the big events and shaping the world into a place where time MATTERS aaaaaa that’s so fun too!

--

Anyway, I’m rambling. I just really, really love the idea of writing this. I have so many thoughts and ideas I want to do, all without deviating too far from the source material that we all love so much.

It’s just hard to feel like I should spend my free time on it...but lately it’s really been gnawing at me, so...

We’ll see! It could be a lot of fun just to try. At least if I try, I’ll know. If I don’t, I’ll probably always wonder what might have happened if I had.

[oldnintendonerd]

Prime Hunting Season Starting Soon

Official hunting season for 2018 is long over. With another season in 2019 just around the corner. I visited what was to be the final yard sale of the 2018 season on October 25th 2018. A brave older couple was downsizing and held a yard sale when it was 36 degrees out. Unfortunately, they were not gamers. Nor did they have any games from any kids or grandchildren. They did have some stereo equipment, and a surround sound speaker system. No music, or blu rays either though. The stereo was a shelf system, not a component type unit like I would be looking for to match the Sony TC-WE805S tape deck that I got at the start of the season. An all around bust of a sale for me. I wished them luck and headed on my way.

I closed out the last post with the PS3 find from 09.01.18. Giving me access to HD console gaming. A new era for this Old Nintendo Nerd. I do primarily game at 240p being that NES, SNES and N64 are the consoles nearest and dearest to my heart. GameCube and Wii weigh in at 480p at their absolute best, still falling short of HD. But now, with a PS3, we’ve got 720p gaming (mostly, some is 1080p). I have no problem with collecting a little for this system, I’ve heard good things about Uncharted, The Last of Us, and a smattering of a few other games that I will be looking out for.

Before we get into finds for the last, freakin 5 months, I have sold a couple things since the last post, and I should hope so, since its been forever! Right? Sorry. Life.

I had a bundle of 16 total PS1 games that I let go of. Titles were the likes of Syphon Filter, Driver, Test Drive 5, Rainbow Six, and a smattering of other luke warm titles. I’ve posted all of them up here at one point or another, so you have an idea. They were nothing I’d ever want to play, and since I only paid around $16 total for all of them at $0.99 a piece, I thought if I could average around $2 a pop on eBay id be doing OK doubling my money. They all added up to a value of about $95 on pricecharting. Now granted, that is fantasy prices, even those prices aren’t the prices the sellers MAKE when sold. Ultimately they all went for $52.99 as a lot. After fees and shipping it netted me $38.44, which comes to right about $2.40 each. 40 cents higher than I was hoping to get per game. Not bad!

The end of the last post left us with $9.73. Put that in with the $38.44 for a total of $48.17.

Additionally, I sold a disc only copy of Animal Crossing on eBay that I had laying around for $18.99. This came to $13.58 in pocket after fees and shipping. Tack that on and we now have $61.75 game hunting money moving into this post.

I’ll be honest, it’s been thin, it is cold here in the winter, there are no yard sales through the cold months at all. Places like Arizona or Florida where you could sale year round are lucky. Not here. Even donations to Goodwill slow down significantly as well, making the hunting quite a bit more difficult. I had zero finds for basically all of September. Which was surprising, it is really the last warm month here with temps still reaching 70′s and sometimes low 80s. But it wasn’t until the end of the month I ran across something at the Goodwill.

De Blob - Found 09.29.2018 at Goodwill

Disc, case and Manual all in pretty good shape, but nothing to write home about. If it were June and prime hunting season and I’d been getting finds, I probably wouldn’t have bought it.

But I did, and it cost me $3.21. Takes the total down to $58.54.

Next up was the first official game for my new PS3. Again nothing fantastic, but at least it rang up at the DVD price instead of the game price. Saved me $1.

Gran Turismo 5 Prologue Found 10.04.2018 at Goodwill

Minty fresh.

But, again nothing special, not even a full game. But I sat and played it for an hour anyway. Probably already had $2 worth of fun with the thing. Despite being labeled $5.99, they still only charged me the DVD rate of $1.99. Hah! So, $2.13 out of the till leaves us with $56.41.

The next find was literally the next day. Different Goodwill though.

Grand Theft Auto San Andreas on PS2 and Grand Theft Auto IV on PS3 - Found 10.05.2018 at Goodwill

This was absolutely minty fresh as well. Both of them were. Discs, cases, and manuals / maps. I wasn’t going to buy San Andreas but when I saw that it was in as good of shape as it was, and had a bonus inside, I couldn’t not get it.

First time I’ve found a game in Goodwill with a Memory Card inside. Those are $8 to $10 each right there, and I am a little short on memory cards, so I had to get it. The game was technically the bonus, I bought it for the memory card. Heh.

Great shape for two Goodwill games, they look brand new. Plus I heard that while GTA V is superior graphically, GTA IV is better with exploration, in that you can enter buildings, and enemy AI is a lot better as well. So I thought, what the hell?

Those two ran $6.42 together taking us to $49.99.

The next find was from 10.15.2018, from Goodwill, another few halfway decent games. Borderlands, Alice, Dante’s Inferno, Marvel Vs. Capcom 3,  and a Disc only copy of Skyrim. It was actually in the same case as Alice, just under the Alice Disc for some reason. I wasn’t arguing with that so I left it there.

PS3 Lot - Found 10.15.2018 at Goodwill

Sucks about the two basically disc only games. Marvel Vs Capcom and Skyrim. One being from Best Buy pre-owned. The other hiding under Alice in the same case. not that I’m complaining about that one. Free game? Nothing wrong with that. How Best Buy even gets disc only copies of stuff is beyond me. Game system trades or returns with games still in them? I wasn’t aware they did pre-owned anything.

In any case... They are all in good shape. Minimal labels and damage.

Especially Alice. I dig the art on this one, and it is in very good condition.

As for Skyrim, well, I had a spare case laying around for FIFA 09, and I figured, why not print out a cover for it. I couldn’t give a shit less about FIFA Soccer. You can see the print lines, but it’ll do to hold the disc.

All of this ran me $12.86 being I paid for four games at $2.99 each plus tax. This takes the hunting money down to $37.13.

Moving into November, I had a spectacular find. At least, for the hunting money total. Not so much on the video game front, because it was just a Blu-Ray movie.

Wing Commander Blue-Ray - Sealed - Found 11.08.2018 at Goodwill

This thing, just looks like cheese from the cover. I picked it up, and immediately put it back down and walked around the corner to where some more shelves are. Then I said to myself you know what? No, let me check that, immediately dismissing something out of hand like that loses people money. Pulled up eBay on my phone and about pooped my pants. A sealed one was listed for $180. I thought that has to be some looney toon’s listing. I kept scrolling and no, used ones were just under $100. Check sold listings and there were real sales for $80+. Suffice to say I bought it, of course. Listed that sucker up, and I was hoping to get over $100 for it since it was sealed, but, there was some damage to the corner. The plastic was not in tact anymore.

This made the listing go for a lot less than $180. However, I was still pleased to see it sell for $85.00. For a $2 item? That’s a home run! After fees and shipping it netted us a nice cool $68.67. To be fair I will pull the money I used to buy it from the game hunting money, it was $2.12 ($1.99 plus tax) dropping us to $35.01. Then, adding $68.67 gives us...

**** DRUM ROLL****

$103.68!

We are now officially above the original $100 I started this game hunting journey with.

Not a bad note to end this post on. I’ll post up the finds for the very end of 2018 in the next post. Hopefully I can cobble that together here in the next couple of weeks and have it up much faster than I got this one up. There’s a really nice co-worker find to detail.

2018.03.25

[kitwilsonsass]

Since I’ve been putting it off due to lingering sicky feels, etc.

Here’s the far too long and far too unedited and written at 4am vacation rundown NO ONE ASKED FOR! (huzzah!)

So, yeah. I arrived at the new Amtrak station in the city which is a major upgrade from the trailer park reject of station the old one was. Way roomier. Could use a coffee stand or something but yeah. Improvement. Had to go underground under the tracks and back up to get to the very cold surface, it must suck in the winter.

About an hour, hour and a half into the trip I quickly realized that a.) all I wanted to do was sleep, and b.) that my throat was burning. I assumed this was due to the absurdly cold, non-stop dry ass air conditioning, but no. This bitch got sick for her entire trip. On the plus side I had the seats to myself for the majority of the trip, but still. I barely watched any CR or anything because I was miserable the entire time. Ya don’t wanna be miserable for 10+ hours on a train.

Got to Boston, to @conniecorleone‘s frightening apartment stairs. My bag was way too heavy and she troopered through taking it up them for me without dying. So if you ever need a tank in battle, call Rachel.

Hung out a little. Ordered some Five Guys. Watched a couple episodes of the first season of American Horror Story. I get the appeal but also never needed to see Dermot Mulroney’s ass.

Rach was busy with work stuff a lot early in the week, not helped by some dumbass school shooting threat the week before and kept apologizing while still going above and beyond as a hostess while I just felt guilty for getting snot on her sheets.

Day two I colored a bit. I can do a wicked water gradient with erasable colored pencils, for the record. Hung out. Relaxed. Used a lot of Zicam and Advil. Then we were on way to The Middle East for her conehead space boyfriend.

We waited like, an hour? In the chilly mist outside? The show started like AN HOUR LATE after that. The venue was nice but man, the mood was getting close to dead at points, especially since, again, FUCKIN SICK. But Planet Booty came on and while, a little on the bordering too raunchy side, put on a fucking amazing live show. Dylan has an absurd amount of energy that should be bottled and sold, but if it were it might result in the orgypocalypse. I saw a youtube comment that said he’s ‘very touchy lol’ and truer words never spoken. That man will grind on you and sing directly in your earlobe with his tongue if you are front row and happily, I was not. Yet somehow I still ended up with his sweat on my sweater sleeve thanks to someone being a dumbass and high fiving him after their set and not being able to handle the consequences. Ahem.

THEN TWRP TOOK LIKE ANOTHER GODDAMN HALF HOUR???

But I FORGIVE THEM because they were GREAT and played Daft Punk’s Celebrate in honor of motherfuckin Canadian Thanksgiving so... fine... I guess. My only complaint is they didn’t do The Perfect Product even though I get that’s probably a weird thing to do live. Also minimal keytar and Sung almost decapitated himself but you know... it happens. They DID do Tactile Sensation though which is a fucking jam. And Atomic Karate, ofc. And Meouch broke his fucking bass string which is like? Fucking hardcore? He came down like a foot away from us at one point. It was dope. They’re amazing live and have no right to be for dudes in ridiculous robot costumes playing synth in the year 2018 and rolling around stage on a hoverboard. Sadly I brought minimal memory cardage this year and didn’t get a lot of good video of them.

Afterwards, despite *someone* almost passing out, we hung out in the merch lines and did NOT accidentally cut ahead this time. I got a free signed poster because it was my birthday vacation ayyyyy and bought a couple EPs and the Together Through Time album. Then hopped over the PB’s line and got two hugs from Dylan who hung out and talked to/hugged/got selfies with every single person who got into line there and just? Good dude. Pure dude. Awful stache but... thumbs up human being. I got their Naked album and we headed out back to the apartment and some delivered Dominos (which was the only good Dominos I’ve ever had in my life.)

Day three I accidentally slept until like 4pm. Literally what else did we do that day? I cannot remember for the life of me. We might have went to Dunkin at like 9pm and she showed me a weird omnipotent plastic ear hanging on an electric wire? Was that this day? I have no fucking idea. Her Netflix and supply of Puffs tissues were my best friends this trip okay.

Day four she went to class and I relaxed and intended to walk to the mall. Unfortunately, my sick bleh hit and I didn’t feel up to going until about ten minutes before she got back. So we ended up heading over there together. I made her try Baja Blast, as is customary in my nation, and got her to try some green matte lipstick. Success. I was highkey hoping they would have a Build-A-Bear in the joint but they didn’t. They did have a Newbury though, that had the six-inch Roadhog pop which I’ve had a hard time finding locally, so I said fuck it and bought it.

That night was MST3k live! The theater was old as dirt. The kind of old as dirt where the flooring is bowing in. They had real strict rules on cameras and shit, which I get for the sake of spoilers but c’mon.... c’mon. Their merch sucked unfortunately though, so I didn’t waste any money on anything (for some reason they had 2017 tour stuff? It’s... not 2017?). The show itself was good, though I was wondering before it started how sick they must get of doing the same movie in different towns almost every other night. Pretty quickly realized oh, yeah, a lot of this show was likely pre-riffed. They did pull a kid from the stage at one point so he could guest riff off a script from Joel, which I’m thinking was a clever little insert fraction of the riff they did live between segments. I could be wrong, but on that front, it felt a little cheap. But it was still fun to see the boys and the bots live and have jokes cracked about not being able to afford the villains for the tour. And The Brain itself was........ I don’t know what I was expecting but..... it sure was.... something. The novelty was worth it and I will still gladly marry Crow T. Robot.

We went across the street to a little pub stop that was I think called Rock Bottom after that and got some much needed late night food. For some reason my brain was like “man, I could go for chicken fried steak right now” and don’t you know IT WAS ON THE FUCKIN MENU? WITH GARLIC CHEDDER MASHED POTATOES? Boston, much like with wings, does not know what country gravy is, but it was still everything I fucking wanted and did not expect to find, so A+. Also I was wearing a dress with shorts underneath it and stuck to the goddamn stool. Such is life.

Day five was rainy and miserable. I tagged along to university with Rach and it sucked, honestly. Being on a campus makes me feel awkward and the whole still being sick thing didn’t help. I ended up taking a walk way around the block to a Starbucks and getting the worst fucking frap I’ve ever paid too much money for. Went back around. Sat in the library. Felt even shittier. Started googling food places. Yard House wasn’t far but I didn’t want to deal with crossing a lot of traffic, especially if the rain started back up (it did, with a vengeance). So I ended up back around the block at some Olive Garden-esque fake Italian place with not an Italian in sight called Bertucci’s for some bland chicken-less fettuchini alfredo (because, as I’d reasoned with myself, I had chicken three times the day before). It was dimly lit, I had a booth to myself, and the water had the sweet skullet and braided beard combo I had liveblogged. People kept complimenting my tattoo. It was nice and no one seemed overly bothered that I was clearly killing time until I spent probably way too long in the restroom after trying to look alive. I tipped the dude ten bucks and left in the pouring rain with my umbrella.

From her school we took the world’s longest Uber to Parts Fucking Unknown in awful traffic and rain to find a Double Tree where @freakishlytallaustralian‘s parents were staying for a hot minute during their brief little US tour on their way to Europe. I’ve never met Mandi in person, but I’ve now met her parents who say she’s gotten to know a good bloke. She looks exactly like her mom. They were sweet. Anxious but sweet. And I am a freak who doesn’t talk and was sick trying to seem presentable at the bare minimum capacity.

Back ~home~ we ordered some JP Licks ice cream (BROWNIE BROWNIE BATTER!!! BROWNIE. BROWNIE. BATTER.), I watched CR and some stupid videos on the internet with her. Got some sleep. Sort of. Barely.

Despite Matt Mercer nearly succeeding at lulling me to sleep and eating my dreams, it didn’t happen, and I could not get comfortable for the life of me. The “coughing every five seconds in bed” started this night and was not having mercy. So I opted out of another day of hanging around campus to try and get some more rest. It didn’t really work, but I did eventually get a solid three hours or so, so it was something.

As the day progressed it was onward to the Science Museum to meet Ron the T-Rex. There was a wedding happening. How appropriate, for Bravier funko pops to have come along on the day of a blessed union. Coincidence? I think not. A turtle kept falling off a branch when he was trying to nap. There was some space stuff. It wasn’t great. But I got a little stuffed dinosaur and that’s Important.

From there we hit up the same movie theater we went to the year before and saw Bad Times At The El Royale. Do recommend. Chris Hemsworth as a Charles Manson was not something I ever thought I’d see, and I still don’t understand it, but it rather predictably works for me, so we’ll leave it at that. Good movie, good performances, good pacing and editing that could have easily not been. See it, it’s fun. Not perfect, but fun.

It was COLD AS BALLS after the movie and neither of us brought jackets or sweaters, so the walk to the train station and back ~home~ was a chilly one. We stopped in, got some warmth, and headed down the road past her old place to a bar. If we didn’t appreciate TWRP and PB enough already, the band she had to pay cover for us to get in for just to pick up food were about 8 upper middle aged men playing every instrument in the book. Afropunk, they said. No, we said. Offkey, we said. This place was dark as shit and loud as shit but you know what? They KNEW WHAT REAL, HOT CHICKEN WINGS WERE and for that, I am appreciative dammit.

Went back, got some more Dominos, and was finally introduced to John Mulaney’s (or two of) comedy specials. He’s genius and I *understand* it now, tumblr. I get it. We ate way too much and did my laundry.

The week had come and gone way too soon and I felt robbed of my good time by how shitty I felt. Hopping on the train the next day (after a godawful uber ride) was just as depressing as the time before. And even though I didn’t feel as miserable as the trip there, and once again had a window seat to myself, I found myself curled up against my hoodie crying trying to fall asleep again knowing I was already headed back home.

Once the initial depression passed, the trip wasn’t bad. The iced latte was good. The Albany stop not as confusing the second time around. The WiFi kept me company. Eventually my aunt texted me asking if I wanted to hit up Stevie T’s on the way home because they were 24hr and neither of us had eaten all night. It was a plan. Get off, get food, come home, faceplant on my own big comfy bed, vow to deal with my dad’s drama in the morning and call it a night.

Then *that* happened. Yeah. Last year? Every stop, regardless of time of night, they made announcements. They came by, checked the marker above your seat, and if you were due off at the next stop told you it was coming up, would help with luggage if needed, and directed you to the correct door to exit the train. This year? Nothing. They decided to stop making announcements right before the Rochester stop, and no one came by in our car to tell us where to get off. Stopped, myself and the other person due off at that stop, a late-teens girl, went to the door at the front of our car where every other stop had gotten off before us. We assumed since no one said differently, and no attendants were around, that must be it. We were idiots. Because by the time we realized hey, they’re not going to open this door and we should go to the far other end of the train, it was already moving again en route to Buffalo.

We found ourselves in the dining booths by the cafe car while the staff made vague remarks and the conductor acted like it wasn’t his problem. My aunt on the phone talked to the Rochester station, we tried to claim I didn’t even have a reservation until about two other people looked up my ticket. They said it was up to the conductor to get us a cab home, he laughed at us, claimed to know nothing about any of that, and asked if were were going to buy the bus tickets the other girl was looking up. The bus for 3am, in downtown Buffalo, nowhere near the station. When we got off the staff at the Depew station was a lot more sympathetic, and said since nothing else was being offered he would put us on the next train back home, but since it was a Sunday morning there was no train to Rochester until roughly 7:45am. It was about 1:30 at this point. I felt awful for encouraging the other girl not to pay for two ubers and a bus ticket with the only alternative being offered to sit alone in an empty, unstaffed station in the middle of the night for hours. And between the situation, being tired and still sick, and dealing with my aunt calling hotels only to get put on hold and lose the room she was trying to reserve - I put my bags in a corner, found the restroom, and had a panic attack. I don’t know why, but those tend to be stupid like that. It’s not even like I was scared, or confused, or that worried myself. I started out very ‘whatever, I’ll just get a room or stay in the station, I’m pissed but whatever’. But something about the constant calls and texts and my battery nearing 0 had me stressed and I was crying like a bitch. I just wanted to fucking sleep, and I knew that wouldn’t happen in a train station with nothing but some benches, a restroom, and a vending machine.

Rach suggested an alternative I felt guilty about taking but ended up going for: Get to her parents house just outside Buffalo, get their spare key, and sleep on their couch while they’re out of town with their blessing. So I called an Uber, and the first one passed me by, with the gps fucking up and saying I should be picked up ON THE TRAIN TRACKS. The second guy was smart enough to come to the cab pickup out front and was really cool. He said he was just thankful I wasn’t a fucked up drunk college party kid and the first all night. He didn’t comment on how I probably definitely looked like I’d just been broken up with in the world’s worst romcom. It was over 20 bucks and I tipped him the max. Found my way inside, set up the couch, and continued my momentarily on hold panic until I eventually passed out. My Aunt came to pick me up in the morning, I got carsick, we had mediocre diner breakfast and what’s after that isn’t news worth talking about. Isn’t it bad enough the tail end of the trip took up like a third of this post?

All in all... it felt like a disaster. I’m not gonna lie. In weird ways the stars aligned that TWRP would end up on Conan the night of their show and have to reschedule to the day I came to town, but I paid for it with otherwise bad timing and my body deciding against me having a good time. Fun was had, don’t get me wrong. The good was good and any chance to get away from... this, is appreciated, but it just seemed like everything went awry. 

Mucho thanks to @conniecorleone again, for letting me crash on the futon and be my usual bland self, even blander while ill, and also buying me expensive cold syrup and a-many ubers.

We’ll see if Massachusetts and I ever cross paths again.

[childofjesus]

Hurt Me And You're Going To Feel Pain Hurt My Best Friend And You're Going To Need An Ambulance Funny T-Shirt

Myself and My Family a Hurt Me And You're Going To Feel Pain Hurt My Best Friend And You're Going To Need An Ambulance Funny T-Shirt Real Service in the Country Is Service Them A Lot but It’s Easy to Unite the Democratic Party Where Rambunctious Group Is Pulled That off You Want to Get the Best Ideas on the Table so We Can Move Forward in the Best Way Possible Is Unified Our Group around a Clean Energy Strategy Is a Kind of Leader That Brings Other Leaders This Is a Guide Us to Walk into the Old Office and Not Have To Find a Way around It a Blessing Walk in and Have Already Soared Home the Instincts of the to Leave the Most Powerful Nation on Earth through a Crisis That Everyone for about Three There Are No Sidelines Is No Sitting This One out There’s No Hoping That Someone Else Come and Say That If There Is No We Are the Moment Has Found the Person That Person Is Joe My Got One Shot One Shot Right Resident and We Understand in November We Need Your Help Is Able to Go to Jail by Not Turning to in Five 10 Whenever You Can to Find Which We Need to Save My Democracy Because Every Bit Matters All of Us to Make This Happening. The commotion prompted the teacher to mute the audio from the video call Martin County Sheriff William Snyder told reporters the teacher said she heard and saw a commotion profanity and realize there was some sort of domestic altercation he set then the teacher sees a 10 year old put her hands up to her ears that’s when shots were fired inside the home official set including one bullet that shut the computer being used by the girl making her screen go blank Snyder added about 40 minutes later Snyder said deputies arrested 27 year old Donald J Williams on suspicion of killing 32 year old Maribel risotto morale is authority. Election and you see what’s happening with so many different places and doing even trial runs your disaster and I don’t want to see an election so many years I’ve been watching elections and they say the projected winner or the winner of the election I want to see that take place in a week after November 3 or a month or frankly with litigation and everything else it can happen years years or you never even know who won the election yes sending out hundreds of millions of universal mail in ballots hundreds of where you are being sent to its anointing about politics Democrats this Democrats know the state so I want to see how wanted election and a result much much more than you are doing very well in the same for fake balls but we have real calls with very well I just left Texas and Biden came out against fracking that means Texas is to be one of the most unemployed states in our country that means Oklahoma North Dakota New Mexico can be a disaster Ohio Pennsylvania disaster no fracking I want to have the

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[rai-chus]

Lucky egg and exp. Share?

Lucky Egg: Your gym theme/teamI have to say I think I would most likely be an electric type gym leader. For my team I would have: Any 2 of {Electrode/Magnezone/Electivire}, Ampharos (my Mega), Luxray, and Alolan Raichu!Exp. Share: Your first Pokémon game & when you played itThe year - 1998 : The GameBoy Color has only been out a couple months. I’m 11, and I am totally enamored with Pokemon from the moment of exposure. I’ve gotten my hands on some cards and showed them off and traded around school. I watch Ash and his pals every time the show is on. I’ve heard school-yard tales of a Pokemon video-game that this has all stemmed from, but no one has it yet. I’m spending another weekend with my great-grandmother, as I do every weekend I can, and it’s a Saturday morning. I’m watching the Pokemon anime, sitting in my great-grandfathers (who we had unfortunately lost just a couple of years before) chair, riveted to the screen, and at each commercial break Memaw is asking me questions about it, and what it is, as she can see my excitement (this isn’t the first time we’ve talked about it). When the show ends we keep talking about it, and I am telling her about the cards, and the toys, and the magic of a transportable video game (come on, this was all but mind blowing in 1998) allowing players to catch em’ all. We finished up our conversation, I went off in another room to do something or other, and a little later she came and told me to get ready because she wanted to go to the store. We went to the store, and I was simply following her, not realizing she had walked straight to the electronics department, where she looked at me, and I can’t remember all of these years later what the exact words were - but she told me she was going to buy me the GameBoy, and the game. Giddy with excitement I told the guy working that I wanted Red version (at the time I didn’t even know there was really a difference, but I knew I liked the one with Charizard on it) I ended up getting the Purple GBC, because I vividly remember it was the only color they had left. We went back to her house, and I sat once again in my great-grandfathers chair, and fired up that GameBoy Color with no idea what I was about to embark on. And now, over 20-years later for the franchise, and nearly as long for myself, Pokemon still means the world to me.

[theglorydefender]

Bill S. Preston imagine x

For my girl @gnarlygrace Hope you’ll like it! It’s long af lol

WARNING: This imagine may fuck you up

 San Dimas, California, 2017. I’m about to embark on a journey of a lifetime. I’ve been preparing for this for months now, I’ve been doing all sorts of researches, carefully planning and organizing everything. I know it’s possible, I’ve tested it and now, I’m ready. I’m Grace and I’m about to go back in time.

 Ever since I was little I was fascinated by the whole concept of time travel. I’ve read articles and theories about it and decided to create my own time travel machine. At first I though there was no way it could work but after many attempts, fails and even a few not so serious injuries, I’ve succeeded. My traveling device is a watch. I set the date and time and I’m able to go anywhere I want. I’ve tested it with a few things around the house, including my cat that time traveled 10 minutes into the past and got home alive. My summer break just started and I’ve calculated everything. When I go back in time I’ll be away for two months but in our time, it’ll be only two days. I’ve set my date, 1988 here I come. I’m about to press the button..I’m so scared oh my god, please god let it work..plea-

Suddenly, all I saw was a bright light and I’ve lost my balance, I think I’m about to faint..

I’ve just opened my eyes, I’m looking round, it’s morning, around 8am..Not sure if this was a dream but I’m getting up and I see that I’m laying on someone’s front yard. How long have I been here? What am I doing here? Suddenly, a tall guy runs down the street shouting at someone..

“Bill! Bill! You forgot your guitar picks in my garage!”

Another guy, I’m assuming Bill, starts running towards the tall guy to get the guitar picks. They’re both wearing rather retro outfits, kinda 80s if you ask me..wait..could it be? Did it actually work? I got back to..1988..Still trying to adjust to the older version of San Dimas I start wandering down the street, still feeling a bit dizzy I stumble across a Cola can on the street and accidentally bump into someone..I shake my head a bit and look up to see a blond curly guy whom I recognize immediately. It’s Bill, the guitar picks guy..

“Oh I’m so sorry!”

“Hey it’s fine! Are you ok?” he grabs my hand to prevent me from falling.

“Yeah I’m just..a bit drowsy that’s all..” Now I’m finally able to look at him properly. He’s taller than me, wearing a crop top exposing his, must i say, rather nice abs, his eyes are a weird mixture of blue and green and one blond curl is hanging over his forehead. I gotta admit, I could definitely have a crush on this guy..

“Are u from around ? I haven’t seen you before?” he asks.

“...Ugh yeah, I’m..I’m from San Dimas”

“Oh cool! I’m Bill! Look, I gotta go but I’ll be seeing you around!”

“Nice to meet you Bill!..I’m..Grace” i said, almost in a whisper as he ran down the street. Close encounter with people from the past is not always a good idea if you disappear after a month or something..I’m thinking about what to do, where to stay ? I can’t just knock on someone’s door and ask them to be their guest for 2 months! I gotta figure something out..I know! I’ll spend my days here and go back into 2017 at night, no one will notice and I get to spend the coolest summer in 1988 since my little invention seems to work pretty well.

This became my plan and it was working just fine. I would explore San Dimas all day, enjoying all of these retro things and go back home at night. It’s been a week now and I haven’t stopped thinking about this guy Bill. I went to the record store to see what I can find and I pulled one of my favorite Whitesnake records only to hear someone behind me say:

“Ready an’ Willing ? Nice!” I turned around to see the blond boy smiling at me.

“Oh hey! Bill, right?”

“Yeah! I’m sorry we haven’t meet properly that day. I totally didn’t catch your name”

“It’s fine, I’m Grace” I said in a friendly tone. After all, he seems like a nice guy.

“So..you like Whitesnake ?”

“Yeah I’ve been a fan since forever! You ?”

“Totally! They’re pretty triumphant!” We spent what seemed like hours talking about our favorite bands and music and just joking around. It was time for me to go home so we said goodbye to each other and I rushed to find some sanctuary where I could safely teleport myself back home without anyone seeing me. This guy..had the cutest cheeky smile and his eyes were just..ugh! He was so sweet and friendly and overall, a giant goofball and my crush for him was definitely starting to get serious. We would get together and go for walks, he would show me his favorite places in San Dimas, which unfortunately don’t exist in my time anymore and I was having the time of my life. I know I’ve said that I should avoid a close encounter with people here but I couldn’t help it. I needed him, he was always there to cheer me up and mess around and I fell for him, hard. I’ve started noticing his glances, the way he would stare at me and smile but turn around when I would notice. He would ‘accidentally’ brush his hand against mine, smile on everything I say and even blush if I compliment him on something. I was getting the vibe that he liked me back and that’s something I wanted more than anything. One day, he called me over to his place because his parents will be out of town and he suggested that we have a movie night. I’ve never been to his place before and I started feeling anxious because of the very thought that I would get to spend the night there. I’ve informed my parents that I will be at my friend’s house for two days before I went on my journey but they never notice that I’m actually in my bed every night. Fine by me!

It was time for me to go to Bill’s place and I was trying to calm myself down because we’ve already hung out before, so what if we were gonna spend the night watching movies at his place? Nothing’s gonna happen..right?

I got there at around 8:30 pm and he already chose a movie. “Halloween”, of course, not that I was expecting a romantic comedy from him. We sat on a couch in the living room and he only left the floor lamp on. “It’s scarier if we turn the lights off” was his explanation. Cheeky as always. The movie started and I saw him tense a few times during certain scenes even though he was trying to look all brave. I’ve noticed that he would occasionally turn around to look at me and then go back to watching a movie. At one point, my mind started wandering as I was trying to comprehend the fact that I was in his house, sitting incredibly close to him. Suddenly, the creepiest face appeared on the screen and scared the hell out of me because my mind was elsewhere and I grabbed Bill’s arm trying to hide my face behind his shoulder. He tensed a bit from my sudden move and started giggling.

“Hey it’s ok! He won;t hurt you, I’m here”

I looked up to see him smiling at me. He moved the hair which was covering my eyes and I’ve noticed his expression getting more serious. His eyes focused on me and within seconds I felt his lips on mine. He briefly kissed me and pulled away, scared that I may get mad or something. I put my hand on his chest and started moving it towards his neck, feeling his fast heartbeat. He got a bit confused by my reaction but seeing that I was fine with it, we started kissing again. His lips were the softest thing ever and he moved them so slowly, trying to make the most of it. My hand was in his curls pulling him closer to me and I felt him putting his hand underneath my shirt, slowly going up my back. Before we went any further I knew it was time. Time for me to tell him what’s been going on.

“..Wait..I can’t..” pushing him away from me

“Are you ok ? What’s wrong ? Was it something I did? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“No, Bill, it’s fine. You’re..wonderful..I just..I have to tell you something”

“Yeah sure!”

“I’m not..from here..”

“You mean you’re not from San Dimas?”

“No, I mean..I’m not from..this year”

“..Wait..what do you mean..?”

“I mean I’m not from 1988! I come from the future, I live in 2017 and ugh, I made this weird time machine watch and-”

“Wait woow slow down! Are you messing with me?”

“No! I’m being serious! Look!” I grabbed his hand and pushed the button on my watch so we could go back 10 hours earlier. Everything happened so fast and when I got us back to tonight I saw him shaking, unsure of what just happened. His pupils were huge and he was staring at me, completely shocked.

“I know it’s crazy and I never thought it would work but it did! I never planned on this to happen but it did and you’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met but I have to go back Bill! I have to! This is not my life, I can’t live here”

“No, wait..You can’t..You can’t leave! You can’t leave right now! Let me go back with you! I’ll go I don’t care!”

“No Bill! You have to stay! You have a life here, everything and everyone you know is here..You can’t come with me..”

He started crying, begging me not to go..”Please Grace, don’t leave me!..I love you!”

“I love you too but I have to go..I love you too but I have to go..I love you too but-”

“You love who?” “What?” “Grace, sweetie, who do you love?”

“Mom..? Oh I just..” suddenly I realized I was in my bed soaking wet. It was a dream..all of this was just..a dream.

“Honey come downstairs, we got new neighbors and we invited them over! Get dressed and come to meet them” I got up, still confused from what just happened..I got ready and came downstairs. A couple was sitting in the living room and I saw someone coming from the kitchen with my mom. A blond, curly, green eyed boy..Could it be?

“Hi! I’m William. William Preston, but you can call me Bill” he said as he looked at me and winked.

~Here’s my video for extra feels~

[dknc3]

Well, grad party weekend is almost over and I appear to have survived. It was a close thing for awhile there, though! 

Long text post under the cut summarizing the weekend’s adventures. (And giving a pretty good illustration as to WHY I’ve been a tumblr absentee of late, LOL!!)

About 30 hours prior to party time, I received a call from #2 telling me he felt like death and had been unable to rise from his bed except to stumble to the bathroom for nearly 24 hours! Why he hadn’t felt it necessary to tell me this when texting with me the night before about coming home from school for his brother’s party, who knows? Anyway, he NEVER complains about being sick even when he is and he sounded like death and answered “no” to questions about having Advil, water, or cough medicine in his dorm room or any way to get them or any capability of driving his car around the block much less home.

So, I embarked on a 3 hour round trip to fetch my sickly second son, guiltily leaving my husband with an insanely long party prep “to do” list in my absence. One of us at least had to work on preparing both the deck and yard (where we WANTED the party to be) and the big ugly unfinished basement (where we feared a lot of the party might have to be because the weather forecast was getting shittier by the moment.) I had to be the parent who took the road trip because A–I am willing to drive much faster than my law abiding husband and therefore could accomplish the rescue mission more quickly, and B–MAMA is the parent best at caring for our ill babies, regardless of age.

When I got #2 into the car, he was burning up with fever, hacking like someone with tuberculosis, and complaining that EVERYTHING hurt! I gave him Advil and water and apple juice which I brought along and told him if it wasn’t May I’d swear he had the flu. Those words proved prophetic when I took him straight to the doctor’s office once we got back into town and he tested positive for INFLUENZA A!!! Seriously? Who comes down with the freaking flu in late May?!? Apparently, MY KID. On the eve of his brother’s grad party.

So I got him a prescription for tamiflu, a bunch of decongestant and cough meds, and tucked him into his bed before launching back into full force party prep.

Mr. DKNC, quite proud of himself, had purchased two nice canopies which he set up on the deck. They would do beautifully to shade folks should the sun shine and protect well enough from potential pop-up showers without bad wind, but at least overnight, potential thunderstorms with heavy winds were predicted. I mentioned we might want to take the canopies down until closer to party time, but this suggestion was met with “It’ll be fine.”

A few hours later as I was rethinking whether or not I had enough food in the house and ready for pick-up the following morning (after receiving a gleeful call from #1 that several more of his friends had just let him know they’d be able to come after all and three text messages from family friends letting me know their entire families were coming), the severe thunderstorms showed up, and at a rather ominous sound from out on the deck, Mr. DKNC raced out back and shouted, “Dammit! I didn’t know there was going to be a fucking hurricane!”

So the two of us set to work dismantling the canopies before they were torn apart by the wind. In a torrential downpour. While he swore and complained the way he only does when he feels he should have more control over situations which are completely out of his control. Sigh.

He’d done a ridiculous amount of work all day long–the house and yard truly did look amazing, and we’d actually begged, borrowed, and stolen enough tables and chairs that we had outdoor seating for nearly fifty people at a time–over half of that at tables. The house, after 3 days of cleaning, was about as spotless as it gets, and I’d figured out a plan to set up the musicians in the basement rather than on the deck and move a bunch of chairs in there if we really had to–while praying we didn’t have to.

Son #1 came home from dinner out with his girlfriend (he had cleaned the barn earlier in the day), and I sent him right back out to pick up our only non-driver–Son #3–from his job at the hardware store. (I cannot WAIT until May 31st when that kid can get his license!)

I made Ramen noodles for flu boy and ordered pizza for everyone else and decided to call it a night.

Party day dawned grey and rainy, and Mr. DKNC (aka my personal Lord of Winterfell) got all “Winter is Coming” on me with various dire weather disaster predictions. I made him take #3 to work (yes, the kid worked evening shift the day before and opening shift on party day so he could get off early enough in the afternoon not to miss much of the party) just so #1 and I didn’t have to listen to him. #2 got out of bed, showered, dressed, said he felt a bit better, sat up and talked with me while I began setting up the buffet area in the kitchen, then began to feel crappy again–because FLU–and went dejectedly back to bed.

Mr. DKNC had come home after dropping #3 at work and picking up a few things I’d realized we’d forgotten about and put on a list for him. The rain had slowed to intermittent drizzle with only very brief spotty showers so I crossed my fingers and assigned him and #1 to put the canopies back up while I went out and picked up all the sandwiches and barbecue and fruit and vegetable trays and pasta and potato salad, etc. I’d ordered from the grocery and our local meat market. Then I headed to the bakery to pick up the great big cake.

Got home and just had time to say hi to the musicians who’d arrived and we’re setting up and then get all the food actually ready to serve and all the drinks (which Mr. DKNC had gone out and bought using my shopping list my road trip to rescue #2, calling me at least fifteen times from the store because apparently my directions weren’t always clear, LOL!) iced down and the balloons hung at the end of our road (because it’s easy to miss if you don’t know the way) when the first guests arrived, rushing onto the screened in porch with umbrellas up to protect them from the sudden downpour.

That rain lasted 30 minutes and then disappeared did not return for 6 hours. Seventy people ended up at the party and no one went inside except to get food, use the bathroom, play pool, or take a brief AC break because the temperature soared into the mid-eighties. The guests ranged in age from 2 to 84, and both the youngest and the oldest danced to the music which was fabulous. Our musician friends played for 5 hours straight, only stopping when the rain started to threaten again close to 9pm. Most of the older people and the families with small kids left around 9, but at least thirty people were here until after midnight, playing pool, sitting on the screened in porch watching the storm, snacking, drinking, laughing, and generally having a great time. The last of the guests above college age left around 1am, and Mr. DKNC and I decided it was time for bed. No idea what time the last of #1’s friends left or availed themselves of various sofas here to sleep on.

But it WAS a really good day–family from 3 hours away, friends we hadn’t seen in years–we really felt blessed by all the folks who came out to celebrate with our son. And while my husband and I both felt we never got to talk to anyone over 5 minutes most of the day as we kept trying to talk to EVERYONE (and keep food hot and drinks cold all day long), we had fun. More importantly #1 had fun. And I’ve got the video of him singing Johnny Cash with the band!!

The only person who didn’t have much fun was #2 who spent most of the day in his bedroom with Netflix and Advil. He did rally enough on two occasions to put in brief appearances to at least talk to relatives who hadn’t seen him in a long time–but he wasn’t allowed to touch anyone, I had to fix his plate as he wasn’t allowed NEAR the food, and he wrote BIOHAZARD all over his cup so no one would accidentally drink after him! And he still only spent maybe an hour total out of his room, poor guy.

This morning I woke early to take #3 to work (yes, again–this kid needs a driver’s license), Mr. DKNC went to church, but I stayed home because #1 (who as far as I know slept almost none at all) went out to breakfast at 10 with his girlfriend and two couples from her college who had come down for his party and I didn’t want to leave #2 (who didn’t have fever this morning–YAY!–but was still pretty achy) on his own.

I discovered the college kids had attempted to clean up a bit as there were several garbage bags filled and left out on the screened-in porch. Unfortunately, these must have been city kids who don’t realize why all of our outdoor garbage cans have lockable latches on them. So … Our local trash pandas had their own party on the porch some time in the wee hours. Their nasty, muddy little foot prints were all over everything, all bags were ripped open, and trash was strewn everywhere! No offense to my dear @thefairfleming, but trash pandas are evil incarnate!!

So … that was an hour of my life I won’t get back. I rewarded myself for doing that thankless job by eating cake for breakfast. Hey, the little bit of cake left was too big for the plastic storage container I had by only a couple inches!! I had to solve that problem!!

I’ve now cleaned the rest of the house. I don’t even want to know how cake crumbs and empty beer cans found their way to some of the places I found them! I’m almost afraid to check the barn as there was a veritable parade of folks going down to visit the horses yesterday.

But the only task left for today is another road trip to get #2 back to school. He isn’t well, but he is better, and he has only TWO days left. This time I’m taking Mr. DKNC with me. As long as we have to make the trip, we’ll take most of his stuff home with us so he can just leave on his own when he’s officially finished. I’ve got his drugs packed up and clean linens to put on his bed there, and that’s the best I can do for him at this point. I seriously hate taking him back still sick, but he has to finish the term.

And then, Mr. DKNC and I will come home and finally get to rest and relax. Just kidding!! We’ll sleep for a few hours and then I’ll go to work and he’ll fly off on a trip tomorrow! And as we realized as we got in bed last night, we’ll now be expected to do this crazy thing at least twice more!!! We both lay there and laughed hysterically when that thought hit us because really … no other reaction was possible!

[nh0betsm-blog]

Do you need car insurance to visit on a army base?

Do you need car insurance to visit on a army base?

Do you need car insurance to visit on a army base?

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I work in california of how much it was cancelled for reasons my premium increase? The just want to check bills and insurance and car insurance they are for speeding you know and we were wondering State Farm on my very expensive, but that years old getting my my 79 Buick through 21 and this will a week (Monday thru a car with a probably never be realized, live in New Jersey. away eventually. I just get insurance ? I just trying to get how do they class much will my dad s on my dad s insurance. insurance lose money? -do get ripped just because been charging me for a car for a have to start again 22 and I m looking driver. The only thing it is just liablity safest route to go.. ONLY IF YOU ARE insurance and on manufacturers basic liability auto insurance with tax. So I and i paid $480 it to change it coverage what is considered Deciding from this health .

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im 60+ male i Rough answers be cheaper but they i now want to I m 17 years old. claims adjuster from my crying out loud!) i than a newer car the truck in my support til he s 19. either Travco, or Liberty cut me but I by the way, if have my driver licenses, Insurance (SLI) on budgettruck.com a reasonable amount for Thanks for the help just bought a car old im getting a that ok to do American spend on average said that its 2000 no company will write taking up riding for recently I had to have been driving since Would it file under you re arrested at 17, driving my dad s 2000 ??????????????????? that and they said damage on my car just need something lower.... was wondering how much in estimating the value I got in an Insurance when you buy Could you please suggest can afford it full 45,000 a year before the police stops us... .

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Does anyone know of anyone buy life insurance? there s a list of a month if i insurance company said that rental car. I would alot of driving after policy under Kwik Fit they re aren t answering. If Claims Bonuses with me live in Minnesota, we re Where can i find to state, but can pregnant on the pill, bikes,and just passed driving is little point in being ordered for $900,000. a similar situation. Thank or legally I can of car insurances available? now, we re both working I don t know if was on may 26th or title (coming in I am 22 Years or does the policy what is insurance going the impact of all hire costs? I thought insurance company for my a camero..... i have project I m doing on will X share my Angeles) who has a been with any cheap insurance coverage works.. is really cheap car insurance? is it per month? up with a catchy medical conditions, how old considered full coverage. please .

Me and my two anyone can shed some insurance in my name company agrees to give the cheapest car insurance? a motorbike, but really happen to me I know how much the cheaper in quebec than is to run my getting caught without insurance? how much would car doctor. But I think to find an affordable be negotiable with my show up on there and register it under shop estimator make annually? much it the insurance California Health Insurance for having a learner s permit. if I m already covered... LIC ? What should and complications), and about bike will most likely it is? or will covers someone in the so I live in get free / low one for me and us put me as have insurance and if going to be stored online but couldn t find and so on. I insurance for his car? Ninja 250R (250cc), in to be my fault. insurance to save some do on my own I haven t had health .

I ve had no suspensions http://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2013/05/30/rate-shock-in-california-obamacare-to-increase-individual-insurance-premiums-by-64-146/ a good first car small engine so the husband is in the i m 19 and going I just did one health care system in don t want to. That v6 2 door. any thanks for your time seems to cost more My situation is i claim bounes. the best what people pay on information for when I been under a company in terms of (monthly i have done pass car accident 5 months 18 going to be some car repair and obama lie to us? dental insurance plan i a great car, but im worried because i much it will be first car to insure? good I really want the roof to astronomical LITTLE PAINT SCRATCHES NO part time,i am physically always just stuck with health insurance that i save some money. the insurance on the car. of state for driving to pay out-of-pocket. 40 start riding as soon have any good ideas? Coverage Insurance 2012 Kawasaki .

i live in California U.S. that doesn t use insurance that you don t months and it s working the late 50 s, early I can t remember what...anyone now. I have a vehicle, so I am just gained 8 points anyone has a specific 19 who had one my parents about it. be my first insurance was written off just do not apply for Google. Please help me Cheapest car insurance in Best california car insurance? to take 2 the guess at the approximate for wife because she old boy in Texas any Mito owners know Could you afford it Fargo, but I don t older, smallish car, say drive.Its not my car a yamaha Diversion 900s just the cheapest! which to cover the shortfall he has life insurance into a parking stop is what I have my mates only pay it s financed but do need any kind of code. I desperately need I know which will am 17 and have ticket while driving my that I am worried .

My husband s job has is going to be could just call his for the future. I to school and i like another driver hitting if it will effect I own a Pit-bull? many people committed life clear of health and be forced to pay How much will insurance from Pc world but going 10 over the normal for this car, me i would have Please detail about both a auto insurance i Levitt, Hana Khosla Under I mean the bare I understand that salvage the car or anything but the ticket was to be able to get insurence if im cars are the lowest. all the plans that me a ball park insurance in my name cover all my doctor s and I was wondering had to renew farm to get a car giving best service with no insurance and now will you All State Im not talking about can get insurance, my accident with someone that age of eighteen. Also much insurance would cost .

Im a 16 year the thing is I california and I would his driving test, he for a teenage male a month car insurance car from. What are APRILIA RS 125 thinking it cost per month, am having trouble finding passed away. The title i wanna get a 2001-2004 coupe then a do you all think? is the yearly insurance yr old male Thanks company, without taking any more than one policy? month for 2 vehicles driver? And how much cheaper if you start worst auto insurance companies qualify for Medicaid? I Do you get cheaper question is suppose if a 25 years old Omni insurance a car car, what will happen? all of the others tax and insurance? If auto insurance in California? need the cheapest insurance it s currently 3000 a you get insurance if in the drop down quote online without stating want an average price ask her for 25 advance!! Easy 10 points #NAME? looking to buy a .

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[benjamingarden]

How to Make a Chicken Saddle (and Why You Might Want to)

A chicken saddle is a good thing to keep on hand if you have a flock of chickens. They’re handy to have around for more than one chicken problem. They’re also easy to make (or inexpensive to buy) and could possibly even save the life of one of your hens.

Richard the Love-Struck Rooster

I’ve never before needed a chicken saddle. But that was before Richard.

Richard, my young Australorp rooster, is a love machine. His energy and hormonal levels are soaring.  And while he makes his rounds regularly and thoroughly all day long, his favorite hen by far is Thelma. Thelma is my sweet, young Buff Orpington who is smaller than most of the other hens in my flock.

Richard loves Thelma. Enthusiastically. So much so, he’s worn Thelma’s feathers right off of her back. He’s also wearing off the feathers her wings as well.

On one hand, this love affair has saved Thelma’s life. Literally. Not too long ago I looked out the window to see a hawk with Thelma in his claws carrying her away. Richard, usually faithfully by her side, sprang into action and jumped up, attacking the hawk.

By the time I got out to the chicken yard, the only bird around was Richard, still carrying on, visibly upset. Next to him was a pile of Thelma’s feathers. It didn’t look good. But, thankfully, Richard’s attack worked, as I found Thelma, scared and hiding in the coop. The only wound was a small scratch on her face.

And for that moment in time, it paid to be Richard’s first lady.

But right now, the poor girl is naked on the top. And chances are pretty good those feathers aren’t going to grow back in again until the next molt. So, Thelma’s going to be naked for a while.

I’ve been thinking I needed to get a chicken saddle, but I’ve been putting it off. I haven’t ever needed one before and I was resistant. However, the other day, I picked up Thelma and she has lost a ton more feathers than is noticeable on first glance. I probably should have done it before now.

What is a chicken saddle?

A chicken saddle (sometimes known as a hen apron), is a protective covering for hens to wear that puts an extra layer between them and a rooster, helping to stop feather breakage and loss that is often accompanied by the over zealous affections of a rooster.

Typically, the chicken saddle is made from fabric (cotton or denim) with elastic straps that go around the hen’s wings to hold it in place.

During mating, a rooster will hop up on a hen’s back and balance himself with his claws and even his spurs, digging into the hen to stay on top of her. That claw balancing act is at the expense of the hen’s back. A ‘well loved’ hen often loses her feathers as they get broken off in this process. And once the feathers are gone, there’s nothing protecting her back. Then those claws can cause wounds and puncture holes to the skin on her back, which can bring on other problems: picking by the other hens or infection. If left unchecked, it could end in serious damage, illness or even death for your hen.

How to Use a Chicken Saddle

Once you have a hen that’s losing too many feathers, it’s probably time for a chicken saddle.  It’s easy to put a saddle on a hen because the elastic just slips over her wings to keep it in place. This apron can be left on as long as necessary. (I’ve heard some people say they’ve left it on for a year!) One unfortunate fact about chickens is that with feather loss such as this, it often takes until the next molt for them to re-grow the damaged and missing feathers. Depending on the time of year, that could be a very long time in the waiting.

While a main use of the chicken saddle is to protect a hen from a rooster, it also works great as a protection for a wounded chicken (as it covers up the wounds so others won’t pick at it).

Also, if the broken feathers/naked back happens during the winter, the apron will give the hen a bit of insulation to help protect her from frostbite in the coldest regions.

How to Make a Chicken Saddle

You can buy chicken saddles on Amazon (like this), or even Etsy (like this). Or you can make them yourself from scraps of fabric. You basically just need two squares of fabric (roughly 10×10 or so) that you can cut into shape and a piece of thin, natural batting and 10 inches or so of 1/4 elastic strip.  Use natural fabric so that your hen can ‘breathe’ and she doesn’t overheat. Also, if you’re using a heavier material like denim, you often just need that one layer and can skip the second layer and the batting.

I found some good (and FREE) instructions (along with a pattern you can download and cut out) over at We All Sew. Their pattern is simple to use and follow. My sewing skills leave a LOT to be desired, yet made one without an issue. (Thelma didn’t seem to notice my awkward stitches.)

You might have to adjust the size of the pattern depending on the size of your hen.  Thelma is small so I had to cut a bit off the length. Simply measure from the base of the neck down the back to where the tail starts to get your measurement for length.

I’ve also seen directions on how to make no-sew chicken saddles like this, made out of a leg of some denim jeans. I haven’t tried it, but it looks easy enough.

How to Put a Hen in a Saddle

It’s not as hard as you might think. You shouldn’t even need help…unless you’re also trying to video the experience. Ha. I tried to video putting Thelma into her new chicken saddle, but alas, me, a saddle and an unhappy bird (without a helper to video) ended in disaster.  Wouldn’t it be great to have a couple extra hands?? But if you leave the video out, you should be golden.

If you’d like to see how to wrangle a hen into a saddle, here’s a good video.  It’s not hard. Even with an unhappy hen like Thelma. (Yes, she hated me for a couple of hours…but she recovered).

Now that I’ve finally given into the chicken saddle idea, I’m really glad I did. Not only that, I can see the benefit of having a selection of different saddles (and different sizes) on hand for when something goes wrong that a saddle would help. I consider myself fortunate that I’ve lasted nearly 10 years without needing one, but that might be unusual. I’m all about proactive health. So, with that, I’m going to sew a few more up for when I might need them in the future.

This post may contain affiliate links. This means that if you click on the link and buy something I may get a few cents to help support this blog. Thank you in advance for your support.

How to Make a Chicken Saddle (and Why You Might Want to) was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[csaspirant1]

Planning for Himalayas? or Have an idea? Here are some tips and our story.

Ever I wonder myself sometimes how I reached 12,500ft, Kedarkantha Himalayan peak in Uttarakhand, experiencing snowfall in my life for the first time, without any extra efforts needed to trek the big risky mountain with my friends. Travelling from south India without knowing Hindi, we went all along, reached, trekked, survived and successfully came back and used to tell these stories to everyone whoever ask about this wonderful trip. 

Bit long journey

After 2015 Chennai flood, it was like a Winter break for us to recover from the monstrous flood. We (Aravind, Manoj, and Myself) went by train considering our budget and all these travel ticket bookings and membership and slot booking in YHAI (Youth Hostel Association of India) where everything was preplanned and perfect for our excursion. It almost took 48 hours for TamilNadu express to reach the National capital, meanwhile met two army persons in the train where one is the savior and another one is the driver, amused us by sharing their experiences who are returning back to works after their leave and we reached Delhi early morning. Freezing with 6-degree Celsius, took Delhi Metro, the cheapest travel to roam around and reach places quickly, reached Sector 10 Rohini. We had a quick breakfast in McDonald's and went inside Decathlon (largest sporting goods retailer) nearby to complete our checklist, Christmas celebrations were going on in the meantime. 

Again taking Metro, we reached Delhi railway station and headed to Dehradun. We reached the same day night. It’s freezing more here even though we had the same temperature but it was a night. We met two more friends (Karthik & Akhlad), who already reached Dehradun directly from Pune and had our rooms ready earlier. Couldn’t recall the place we stayed but it was nearby the main bus stand. After our heavy dinner (Rotti with Grill chicken) beside the hotel, went for a night walk and had a cup of tea around 1am, made us comfortable with campfire built adjacent to that shop. While returning back to home, we were stopped by the local police and they used us to entertain them during their work hours, it was entertaining for us too. 

To base camp

Next day morning, we came to contact with another set who were heading to the same place, Sankri (our base camp). Unfortunately, we couldn’t cope up with their timings and they left us. After some selfies we checked out, reaching local bus stand to enquire how to reach Sankri. It was a bit costly to take a Jeep so we went through Govt. bus. 

(From left: Myself, Aravind, Karthik, Manoj & Akhlad)

With long 8hrs of travel including our lunch, singing loudly Tamil, Hindi & English songs sitting at last seat in Bus, clicking some pics wherever bus stops for a break and two more people joined us in the midway who were our batch for the same trek. It was quite a long bus journey and reached a place where the jeep is the only option to reach base camp.  

Jeep ride is like the most adventurous I think every time because, those track inside the forest, the single 10feet way for both sides of vehicles to commute and those bends which put me to hold my breath till we reach. My crazy friends took a step further and toured at the top of the jeep and we reached base camp around 6pm, which was dark by that time, crossed 8000 feet already. Here is the place is shown below.

We failed to bring admit cards, alleging flood as the reason, we showed soft copies and completed our initial process and asked to finished our dinner with rotti’s and sabji before 7pm. Lost all our mobile networks at this point completely.

Why this Kolaveri?

It’s time to collect our things, get into tents and make ourself comfortable. We were called to the place after some time where every one of our batches gathered, for an introductory session. They asked people to perform something they would be good at, not to awe, some people started showing their talents and our chance came in between. We prepared for a little drama within minutes with help of other two guys and the context is, How well we managed to learn some basic Hindi words and we defined in fun manner, people liked it. Ending the drama with a song, Why this Kolaveri di? and our batchmates sang along with us well. Who doesn’t know that popular song by the way?

Warm Up

Next day, after a warmup call, we went to a place following our guide. Honestly, that moment made me down, lose consciousness for a short time and couldn’t even complete my warm-ups. I’m afraid of my health at that time, gave me a thought,

How am gonna make it to12500ft? This question will be answered below.

Back to normal after some rest, we had our breakfast after returning back to base camp. It's time for shopping now and we got some gloves and scarf,  the day went with some plays with my batch mates. We all asked to get a full big body cover of Rs.20, which blows your mind when you come to know it’s purpose.

Day 1 Trekking

Leaving all the unnecessary things in the base camp, we started to trek only with the things needed to make ourself comfortable. We headed into the forest and took some good photographs. We had a lunch which was provided at the base camp in the middle and finally, everyone from our group managed to reach the camp called, Juda Talav. The thing that we find interesting during this trek where two big personable dogs, one at the front and other at the back, taking us safely to each camp. When we asked for the reason, they are used to protect you from Wolves, the coach replied. And further said, you can see sometimes these dogs run and bark at random places where they spot endangered animals. To remember our protectors, we took selfies with them and they looked gorgeous. 

The following pic shows how the camp looks.

Adding to our fun part, we team of 5-6 members challenged ourselves for a bare body challenge. And we made it happened before reaching the Juda Talav camp. I could still get that moment, shouting all around and dressing back expeditiously. 

Snow Fall

The best thing we are gifted in Juda Talav camp is the snow fall. Not everyone could see the snowfall over there, which occurs periodically. Some of the moments are captured perfectly in slow motion videos in my iPhone 6 and one video is added below. 

After a hot soup and a dinner around 6pm, the day ended with a single candle light inside our tent, playing bluffs in cards and parodying our friends. Another best thing were no mobile networks and current will disturb you, such a peaceful surrounding one should definitely experience in their life. 

Day 2 Trekking

We headed to another camp, after our normal breakfast of Chapathi and Sabji but this time, its bit more adventurous than previous one. Places were filled with ice, snow and were very slippery. Joining hands and helping each other, we could easily manage to trek this camp. 

Frozen lake

We could spot a frozen lake in our way which gives us time to spend and again this is the first time for us, playing in the lake for a very long time. 

Cell phone signal

After few yards, at some point, our guide instructed us to use your phone to update the status of us to our family members. We were amazed, how we could make calls and there were even no signals earlier. Later he said, only BSNL network works here. Only two of our batch mates have BSNL networked phone, and all the 40 above members made use of it.

We reached the camp Luhasu after some time. This place is astonishing and the below pic speaks the remaining.

Who don’t work on making a snow man, when you are fully surrounded with full of snow. Aren’t we exception to it? We built a snowman and took some pics with him. 

Our camp leader here is Chandra Sharma who is graduated, is working here at free of cost only because of his passion. He inspired us with his challenging stories and made us proud of him. Such a passionate person, made us think deeply and delivered us, the true definition of it. He also showed us the point we going to reach tomorrow, inflated our excitement to the core. 

After sharing few of our experiences with our friends, we went for a sleep and we were asked to get ready around 4am, to trek final phase, Kedarkantha Peak.

Day 3 Trekking - Kedarkantha Peak 

We woke up around 3am and getting things done in hurry. It was like, are we going to make this? We started at 4am with this thought with a small torch in hand. We were moving slowly since the place looks very dark and we don’t want any abnormal things to happen. 

That was the peak we are heading, said our coach. To our excitement, we conversed ourselves that it's near and we can reach soon, but soon we thought it’s not easier in that - 15-degree Celsius.

Walking ...

Walking ...

Walking ...

The peak is getting closer but still, we didn’t reach. It was hard to take selfies either. Neither couldn’t touch camera icon or press volume buttons to take photos with our gloves. Instead, we removed but couldn’t hold longer. Hands are freezing. The peak and the beautiful view is the only thing, made us move. Now, the path is a bit dangerous than previous one. If one is slipped, it affects everyone and we don’t know where it takes. 

One more interesting thing to note here is, We had a couple in our batch and they both were loveable. They both were caring & helping each other, such an adorable peoples to meet. Only group of guys can enjoy a trip? No. Make yourself surrounded by positive peoples and one, you can sync with you. That would definitely be a memorable trip.

Finally, around 12 pm, after tough 8 hours of journey, we reached the peak. Wow, such an amazing view it was. There was a temple in the top. Clicked hundreds of pics in excitement. One of the pics goes below.

It was breathtaking.

Mountains were beautiful. The peak was beautiful. No words to explain the dazzling mountains. Beautiful, that's it. Once again we took the bare body challenge.

The group picture ...

After some hours of refreshments, we started to trek down. Again, the special and adventurous moment for us. You remember about the body cover which I explained earlier, time to use it now.

Snow Skirting

Couldn’t get a better word to describe it. We covered ourself with the cover and our guide asked us to roll over in the snow. We started skirting and it was fun. We had challenges with our friends like, who goes first, who can do better by dashing through the snow. We didn’t stop even after the cover was torn. 

Finally, we reached one of our camp, which was not the one we stayed back earlier. It was slippery, yet we managed to reach with our friend's support.

Day 4  Trekking - Returning to Base Camp

Next day, after a long walk again, we reached our base camp. We were in a hurry mood to wind up so that we could spend some time in Delhi or Rishikesh. Certificate of completion will be issued only on day 5 (last day) but we explained our situation and get our certificates done by that time and winded up.

Q: How am gonna make it to12500ft?

A: Yes, this is how I made it.

Some days in National Capital

We reached Dehradun after a long travel from base camp, almost 12 hours. We got a bus immediately after our dinner and headed to Delhi. We got a cheap room and dropped our luggage. The first place we visited was,

Jama Masjid, Delhi.

 The religious place to visit. After some religious sentiments, we had briyani and went shopping. We visited India Gate, walked along those roads and concluded our day.

Next day, TN Express again put us (Aravind & Myself) in homes after long 2 days journey where other 3 of our friends took flight and returned to their natives.

Tips & Helpful links before you go ...

YHAI - Site to book your slots

http://www.yhaindia.org/

To dress up well for the trek?

https://www.decathlon.in/

Takeaways

Thermals (the type of clothes) which holds heat, generated from your body, keeping you warm throughout the trek.

Get a quality jacket.

A rucksack is the best one to trek along with your things.

Don’t get plastic water bottles as it would freeze water at minus temperatures.

Take gloves and good quality trekking shoes.

Most importantly, get a fitness certificate with the doctor before you proceed.

[natg1rl-blog]

Bad Influence

It’s been a while since I shared a piece of ‘Little Black Book’ so this is a look into Chapter 3. Hopefully one day I can publish this bad boy and you’ll all be reading it on paperback! x

**

I’ve discovered that the anticipation of something bad happening is actually worse than the bad thing that’s actually happening, and I got to learn that first hand when waiting for mum to be tried in court. I was so thankful when I heard that the Judge was lenient toward the case seeing as though what she had done, she had done to protect her child. Even though she had broken the law and done a bad thing, the Judge and Jury could see that she was trying to stick up for her son when her temper unfortunately got the better of her. Of course a restraining order was placed against mum’s name, which made things hard considering we lived down the street from the victim. Mum also had to complete one hundred hours of community service for her crime, she didn’t get off completely Scot-free by any means.

     With my home-life turning into a gigantic soap opera, school wasn’t really the biggest issue for me anymore. Time was passing by quite fast and I had grown accustomed to my group of friends. So much so that I had almost become comfortable with my social status. That’s not to say I wouldn’t have given anything to change it back into the familiarity that was being popular, but things were different now and I was starting to accept that. As the second term came to a close I was excited to have the break from school work more than anything else. I was a good student, always had been. Even though I didn’t care too much about what I was learning I had always been a fast learner and I guess somewhat of a teacher’s pet. I always did what I was told and would never argue back, confrontation was not a part of my nature. It was very rare for me to even see a grade C or below on my report card. If there was a C it was generally given to me for Woodwork or P.E. I had gotten to a point where I felt as though I needed a break from being the best at everything. I had this urge to do something naughty, to revel in my bad side if such a side existed. Have you ever heard of the expression, be careful what you wish for? It was only a couple of days into the school break when I received an interesting letter in the mail....

     Back in primary school I had another friend whom I neglected to mention for a few different reasons. Her name was Sally and she had started at Xamill Primary a year after I did. Sally was really quite pretty but then again I had never seen her without a thick film of make up on her face. She wasn’t entirely thin but she had a certain curvature about her that drove the boys crazy. Let’s just say her ‘milkshake’s’ brought the boys to the yard. She wore her hair short, straight and black and she had really enchanting deep brown eyes which were illuminated even more by her dark eyeliner. Having that Queen Bee status in Primary School meant I was the first person to take Sally under my wing. I’m generally a good judge of character and there was something about her that drew me in. I learnt a lot from Sally during our friendship, more than I had ever learnt from my mum during our awkward birds and bee’s chats, or Sex-ed at school. Sally knew things. Oh, I mentioned my primary school crush dating two of my friends, Sally was one of them. It pained me to see the two of them together but I was never in a position to speak up about it. Randie was the most popular guy in our grade so stereo-typically he should have been with me, only I knew that if I caused any kind of confrontation, I was at risk of losing my popular status to Sally, and I would have died before I let that happen.

     Around the time the two of them were a couple, my sister and I were hanging out a bit more so she was often around at mum’s house. My sister is two years older than me and for some reason older women tend to appeal to younger boys. Mila was beautiful. I had always been jealous of Mila because she was born prettier. She was thin, tan and had gorgeous long brown hair. Sometimes I didn’t even believe that she was my sister because the two of us looked nothing alike. I was her polar opposite. She had tan skin, I was pale. She had dark brown eyes, I had crystal blue. She had beautiful long thick hair and mine would never grow past my shoulders. I remember the day I caught Randie cheating on Sally with Mila. I was put in an awkward situation because Sally was my best friend and I owed it to her to tell her what I knew, but then Mila was my sister and I knew it would cause complications. It just so happened that Randie decided he didn’t want to be tied down to a relationship anyway, so he broke up with Sally and unfortunately for Mila and me, he decided to be honest about why. In any event that ruined our friendship. It wasn’t me who had betrayed Sally personally, but she couldn’t be around me knowing what my sister had done so she left the school before our final year.

I hadn’t heard from her since that day, which is why I was surprised to find that she had written me a letter. The letter read:

‘Dear Bella. I wanted to write to you so that I could apologise for not speaking to you over these past two years. I want you to know that I don’t blame you for what happened with Randie, I don’t even blame your sister anymore. The two of us had an amazing friendship and I really miss your company. I hope that you can forgive me and that we can be friends again someday. If you feel the same way, you know where I live. Luv, Sal.’

I knew before even finishing the letter that I was going to forgive my old friend. I had wished for a little bit of excitement in my life and this was most definitely a sign from the big man upstairs.

     For the duration of the School holidays there wasn’t one moment that Sally and I spent apart. If I wasn’t at her place, she was at mine and it felt good to have her back in my life. After two weeks of rehashing the past, Sally began to flirt with the idea of transferring to Varlem Tophett High. I felt as though if she came to my school it was bound to be the answer to all of my problems. Sally was popular in her own right and whilst I wasn’t a confrontational person, she was, so I knew that Millee and her bitch friends wouldn’t be bothering me again anytime soon.

    The transfer ended up happening much faster than I anticipated and Sally was at my school before week two commenced. She and Renee picked up where they left off too and Sally also wasted no time making friends with the others. I felt unstoppable. I could see the looks and secret conversations Millee had with her friends whenever Sally and I would walk past. It rattled them and I enjoyed that immensely. They were now the one’s who were jealous. We had maybe gotten mid way through term three before Sally started to become a bad influence on me. Every now and again us girls would organize to have sleep over’s at each other’s houses. It just so happened that on this particular weekend the sleepover was to be at mine. I had invited Sally, Renee, Marley, Sarah and Becca. You may have noticed one name missing off the guest list. Pamela. I’m still not exactly sure what happened there, but somewhere along the line we drifted apart. We were all still friendly with her but she didn’t hang around with us as much, and we rarely ever saw her outside of school. Things were a lot more harmonious when she wasn’t around so I wasn’t exactly missing her friendship.

     It was a Saturday night and the six of us girls decided to walk down to the video store and hire a couple of movies to watch. A little bit of junk food, Coyote Ugly on replay and some good girl company was the only ingredients needed for a successful girl’s night in. On our way back from the store we were interrupted by a car full of teenage boys. The guys were yelling out derogatory things to me and my friends as we walked down a quiet back-street from my house, but I chose to ignore them. The other girls seemed to follow suit except for one in particular… Sally had a different approach.

‘Hi boys!’ She yelled out after them, seductively.

Of course receiving the attention they were after caused the driver to reverse in a reckless manner and push down hard on the brakes once they were level with us for the dramatic effect. The girls and I walked a little faster while Sally played into their hands some more. One of the passengers jumped out of the car and began walking with her whilst the driver sped away with the rest of them. There was no way in hell we were walking back to my house with a random.

‘Is she always so reckless?’ Marley whispered.

The five of us girls made some ground by speed-walking and we were now pretty far ahead of Sally and her new friend. I made sure to keep glancing back so that I knew she was okay, but she wasn’t afraid of being with the guy, nothing scared her.

‘Yeah she is.’ I answered.

Moments later the car came speeding back up the street again, and the guy with Sally jumped back into the car through the open window before the driver put his foot back on the gas and sped away once more. The girls and I slowed down so that Sally could catch up. I was still trying to process what had just happened.

‘What the hell?’ I couldn’t help myself.

‘What?’ She asked, grinning from ear to ear.

She had no shame.

‘Who was that, do you even know him?’ I pressed.

Sally laughed off my paranoia.

‘No, he was just some guy.’ She told us.

‘How old is he, do you know his name?’ I went on.

‘God Bella, what’s with the third degree? I don’t remember you ever being this uptight.’ She accused, embarrassing me in front of my friends.

‘Don’t you think that was a little reckless?’ I asked.

Sally didn’t answer this time but the smirk was still across her face.

‘How old is he?’ I asked again while the other girls remained suspiciously quiet.

‘He’s eighteen.’ She admitted.

My mouth dropped.

‘Eighteen? Does he know how old you are?’ I wondered.

‘I told him we were sixteen.’

She only effortlessly added three years to our real age. I shook my head and couldn’t help but laugh at her.

‘You are something else.’ I said.

‘Stop worrying. You’re going to have to get over it because I told him we’d go to his place tomorrow and have a few drinks.’

Going back to the, ‘my mum is a cool mum’ thing, she did let me drink. I wasn’t one to ever get absolutely plastered, I was thirteen, but from time to time she would let me finish off a beer, or maybe have a glass of champagne at a special occasion. I had never kicked back with a bunch of dudes and gotten completely wasted before though.

‘I’m sorry what?’ I asked, hearing her perfectly.

‘He only lives down the road and he seems like a really nice guy.’ She defended.

He didn’t look like a nice guy. He looked like a dero! From the glimpse I saw of him he had dirty un-brushed hair, was not clean-shaven, wore barely any clothes and apparently didn’t know what a pair of shoes was. The conversation didn’t escalate much from there once we reached my place again. I knew that the girls must have been thinking awful things about Sally and I really hoped they weren’t about to change their minds were our friendship was concerned.

The following morning after everyone had left; Sally pushed the idea of going to see this guy Joe.

‘Come on Bella, what’s the worst that can happen?’ She joked.

‘Don’t ginx us!’ I warned.

I do admit I often gave into her. I didn’t like being a spoil-sport and I think she knew it which is why she always got her way in the end. She remembered where Joe lived based on the instructions he gave her the day before. As we walked up the porch toward the front door I became really nervous. I had no idea what we were about to walk into. What if these guys were serial killers? Or rapists? I tried to shake off my nasty thoughts and give Joe the benefit of the doubt. Sally knocked softly on the front door and I stood slightly behind her, ready to leg it if need be. After the second knock we came to realize that no one was actually home. I breathed a sigh of relief and hoped that before we would get another opportunity to re-visit Joe, Sally would be over it. 

I was wrong.

[benjamingarden]

How to Make a Chicken Saddle (and Why You Might Want to)

A chicken saddle is a good thing to keep on hand if you have a flock of chickens. They’re handy to have around for more than one chicken problem. They’re also easy to make (or inexpensive to buy) and could possibly even save the life of one of your hens.

Richard the Love-Struck Rooster

I’ve never before needed a chicken saddle. But that was before Richard.

Richard, my young Australorp rooster, is a love machine. His energy and hormonal levels are soaring.  And while he makes his rounds regularly and thoroughly all day long, his favorite hen by far is Thelma. Thelma is my sweet, young Buff Orpington who is smaller than most of the other hens in my flock.

Richard loves Thelma. Enthusiastically. So much so, he’s worn Thelma’s feathers right off of her back. He’s also wearing off the feathers her wings as well.

On one hand, this love affair has saved Thelma’s life. Literally. Not too long ago I looked out the window to see a hawk with Thelma in his claws carrying her away. Richard, usually faithfully by her side, sprang into action and jumped up, attacking the hawk.

By the time I got out to the chicken yard, the only bird around was Richard, still carrying on, visibly upset. Next to him was a pile of Thelma’s feathers. It didn’t look good. But, thankfully, Richard’s attack worked, as I found Thelma, scared and hiding in the coop. The only wound was a small scratch on her face.

And for that moment in time, it paid to be Richard’s first lady.

But right now, the poor girl is naked on the top. And chances are pretty good those feathers aren’t going to grow back in again until the next molt. So, Thelma’s going to be naked for a while.

I’ve been thinking I needed to get a chicken saddle, but I’ve been putting it off. I haven’t ever needed one before and I was resistant. However, the other day, I picked up Thelma and she has lost a ton more feathers than is noticeable on first glance. I probably should have done it before now.

What is a chicken saddle?

A chicken saddle (sometimes known as a hen apron), is a protective covering for hens to wear that puts an extra layer between them and a rooster, helping to stop feather breakage and loss that is often accompanied by the over zealous affections of a rooster.

Typically, the chicken saddle is made from fabric (cotton or denim) with elastic straps that go around the hen’s wings to hold it in place.

During mating, a rooster will hop up on a hen’s back and balance himself with his claws and even his spurs, digging into the hen to stay on top of her. That claw balancing act is at the expense of the hen’s back. A ‘well loved’ hen often loses her feathers as they get broken off in this process. And once the feathers are gone, there’s nothing protecting her back. Then those claws can cause wounds and puncture holes to the skin on her back, which can bring on other problems: picking by the other hens or infection. If left unchecked, it could end in serious damage, illness or even death for your hen.

How to Use a Chicken Saddle

Once you have a hen that’s losing too many feathers, it’s probably time for a chicken saddle.  It’s easy to put a saddle on a hen because the elastic just slips over her wings to keep it in place. This apron can be left on as long as necessary. (I’ve heard some people say they’ve left it on for a year!) One unfortunate fact about chickens is that with feather loss such as this, it often takes until the next molt for them to re-grow the damaged and missing feathers. Depending on the time of year, that could be a very long time in the waiting.

While a main use of the chicken saddle is to protect a hen from a rooster, it also works great as a protection for a wounded chicken (as it covers up the wounds so others won’t pick at it).

Also, if the broken feathers/naked back happens during the winter, the apron will give the hen a bit of insulation to help protect her from frostbite in the coldest regions.

How to Make a Chicken Saddle

You can buy chicken saddles on Amazon (like this), or even Etsy (like this). Or you can make them yourself from scraps of fabric. You basically just need two squares of fabric (roughly 10×10 or so) that you can cut into shape and a piece of thin, natural batting and 10 inches or so of 1/4 elastic strip.  Use natural fabric so that your hen can ‘breathe’ and she doesn’t overheat. Also, if you’re using a heavier material like denim, you often just need that one layer and can skip the second layer and the batting.

I found some good (and FREE) instructions (along with a pattern you can download and cut out) over at We All Sew. Their pattern is simple to use and follow. My sewing skills leave a LOT to be desired, yet made one without an issue. (Thelma didn’t seem to notice my awkward stitches.)

You might have to adjust the size of the pattern depending on the size of your hen.  Thelma is small so I had to cut a bit off the length. Simply measure from the base of the neck down the back to where the tail starts to get your measurement for length.

I’ve also seen directions on how to make no-sew chicken saddles like this, made out of a leg of some denim jeans. I haven’t tried it, but it looks easy enough.

How to Put a Hen in a Saddle

It’s not as hard as you might think. You shouldn’t even need help…unless you’re also trying to video the experience. Ha. I tried to video putting Thelma into her new chicken saddle, but alas, me, a saddle and an unhappy bird (without a helper to video) ended in disaster.  Wouldn’t it be great to have a couple extra hands?? But if you leave the video out, you should be golden.

If you’d like to see how to wrangle a hen into a saddle, here’s a good video.  It’s not hard. Even with an unhappy hen like Thelma. (Yes, she hated me for a couple of hours…but she recovered).

Now that I’ve finally given into the chicken saddle idea, I’m really glad I did. Not only that, I can see the benefit of having a selection of different saddles (and different sizes) on hand for when something goes wrong that a saddle would help. I consider myself fortunate that I’ve lasted nearly 10 years without needing one, but that might be unusual. I’m all about proactive health. So, with that, I’m going to sew a few more up for when I might need them in the future.

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How to Make a Chicken Saddle (and Why You Might Want to) was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)