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magioftheseas · 3 years ago

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Take It Like A Man!!

Summary: An alternate scene in which Nidai does It to Matsuda in Chapter 26 of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke’s Battle of Despair and Wits.

Rating: T+

Warnings: It’s suggestive. Also blood that was in the original fic. There’s specifically a nosebleed.

Notes: Y’all should’ve seen this coming. I don’t know how Nidai became a secondary love interest in this AU but he is one so he’s gonna get his own gay af bonus scene with Matsuda. It’s only fair. Sorry, Owari.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

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“KATSUUUUU!!!”

Owari took off in a dash towards him. Her arms spread out and she propelled herself forward with a leap. Matsuda quickly side-stepped out of the way, and she smashed into the ground.

“Oogh! Urgh!” Owari spat out dirt and grass. She rubbed at her face, voice coming out as a nasal whine. “The hell did you dodge for?! Dirty coward!”

“No,” Nidai said, laughing as he walked up. “Pretty smart on Matsuda’s part! With his frame, he would’ve just crumbled under ya! This is why dodging can be just as effective as throwing a punch! Letting gravity do all the work! Gwahaha!”

Owari let out a groan of frustration. “It’s so cowardly!”

“Sorry if having self-preservation counts as being cowardly,” Matsuda retorted. “Even though pride doesn’t mean shit on death’s bed.” He pauses, noticing the dribble of dark red down Owari’s lip and dripping off her chin onto her shirt. He grimaced, realizing. “You’re bleeding. Come on.”

Owari blinked up at his hand. A grin split her face and before Matsuda was able to fully register the fucking awful mistake he just made—she snatched his wrist and yanked him down, trapping him with a headlock as she furiously rubbed her fist to his hair.

“Shouldn’t have let down your guard, Katsuuuuu!”

Nidai laughed heartily at the sight. Matsuda decided that next time—fucking next time, he was just going to let Owari bleed out and leave her for dead. Especially if she was going to bleed on him. On the clean lab coat he just fucking put on.

He furiously smacked her arm and it probably hurt him more than it hurt him. She dropped him and he unceremoniously smacked into her lap as she cackled. Nidai lifted him up by the scruff of his coat and settled him back on his feet.

“It’s nice that you two are getting along,” he said as he dusted Matsuda off, cheerfully and willfully oblivious to Matsuda boiling with unrestrained ire. “That said, Owari you should go with him to get your nose bandaged. It’s important to take care of your body.” Pausing, he seems to notice Matsuda’s stiff shoulders and moves to squeeze them. “And Matsuda, you should let me do it.”

“You’re gonna do it with him, too?!” Owari exclaimed. “I thought I was special, old man!”

“Matsuda clearly NEEDS it!” Nidai bellowed back. “Do not be so SELFIIIIIIISH!!”

Yeah. Sure. Matsuda thought, twitching. Scream right next to my fucking ear. God. This is why I hate jocks.

Unfortunately, he was now in a situation where fleeing wasn’t an option. Another reason why jocks were the worst. Too dumb for emotional manipulation, too unyielding for any physical backlash from a guy who skipped every gym class to bury his nose in medical texts. There was basically no way of dealing with them.

Matsuda sighed loudly.

“Right. Anyway.” He shuddered when Nidai squeezed his shoulders again. This time had more of a damned effect, proving the power of those strong hands. Damn that meathead. “I have—places to be. I’m going to the pharmacy so I can bandage up the rabid chick’s nose in the meantime if...” Another squeeze. Matsuda bit his tongue to muffle any responding groan before smacking Nidai’s hand. “Stop that! I... Urgh...”

Inventory is important... Inventory... Inventory...

“Will you come back and let me do it?” Nidai asked with utmost seriousness. Hating himself for feeling his face get hot, Matsuda bit down harder on his tongue.

I did get some lotion from the MonoMono Machine...

He really did get all kinds of weird fucking items. Particularly the lotion in question with its tacky bottle and perverse branding. For rubbing aaaaaaaall over your bear body, upupupu. Something like that. He would’ve tossed it on that offense alone, but it was actually pretty high-quality lotion...

And wouldn’t it feel really nice?

“I guess...there are bandages in my cottage...” He ended up mumbling. “But I still gotta go to the pharmacy...”

“Bwahaha!” Nidai patted his back. “Then you’ll go after! For now... To your place, YEAH?! MATSUDAAAAA?!”

Owari was fuming at him, cheeks an impressive shade of red considering the blood still flowing from her nose.

“Yeah,” Matsuda croaked, electing to just ignore her. “My place.”

Well. They were in his cottage and he did get the first aid kit for Owari first thing, but—it was feeling a bit crowded. And he didn’t have a door for his bathroom. He shouldn’t give a damn, he really shouldn’t but...

“Owari, you don’t mind stepping out, right?” Nidai asked gruffly, cracking his knuckles. “The point of it is to get Matsuda to relax. It’d be better if we were alone.”

Owari sighed heavily, pinching her nose as she did.

“I gueeeeeeeeess.”

Still huffy, she still tossed them once last glare before heading to the door. She slammed the door shut hard enough to rattle the hinges. She almost fucking broke it.

Matsuda fumed next except Nidai clapped his hand down on his shoulder. He jumped, staring up stupidly at Nidai’s grinning face.

“Let’s get started. Now!” He bellowed, “STRIIIIIIIIIP!!!”

“She can still hear you,” Matsuda hissed, but he shed his coat anyway. Annoyance couldn’t compete with his resolve and now that he had Nidai in his cottage, he’d be fucking damned if he didn’t see it to the end. “Just don’t shout so fucking much. We can be professionals about this.”

Nidai chortled, but that fire in his gaze burned and burned as Matsuda undressed. Tie. Dress shirt. Pants. Nidai’s gaze swept his frame, but that was an inferno that Matsuda wasn’t going to get caught in right now.

Even if he still felt a little flustered about it as he went to lie down face first on the bed. Only in his underwear. He heard the rustling of Nidai taking off his own jacket.

“There’s lotion in my coat pocket,” Matsuda mumbled before he forgot. “It’s hard to miss. Shaped like a certain shitty bear.”

Nidai harrumphed but he dug out the lotion anyway. He inhaled sharply.

“Ah! This is GOOD stuff! Owari likes it a lot!” Nidai sounded very, very fucking pleased. “Alright, Matsuda! The road to a brand new world is gonna be SLICK!”

Brand new world, huh? He listened to the bottle being popped open. He felt goosebumps rise on his skin despite the temperature being the same as always. It wouldn’t be the first fucking time he was almost naked like this. Unfortunately, it was impossible to pretend that this was just like any physical.

“This your first time?” Nidai asked, and Matsuda doesn’t have to look to know he’s coming closer. He can hear it in those heavy steps. “Has anyone else ever had ya like this?”

It’s not helped by Nidai almost whispering for once. As if he had to be careful with the weight of each word.

“Don’t think so,” Matsuda grumbled. “I’ve just never really have the time.”

Why the fuck am I so embarrassed about this?

He tries not to flinch when the bed dipped significantly under Nidai’s weight. He forced himself to calm the fuck down when he felt Nidai’s smooth, slick hands on his back.

“No good,” Nidai growled. “You need to take time out for yourself.”

Nidai’s thumbs pressed hard into a knot just under his shoulder blades. Matsuda muffles a yelp and he wonders if he should grab a pillow or something—except that isn’t going to fucking work because his body needs to be straight and flat. Dammit.

Nidai worked down his spine and he was helpless. Each twinge was strange, but he still loosened under the ministrations, relaxing more and more. Sparks of pleasure had him groan in relief, and he wasn’t even bothered by the weird ‘ratatata’s being grumbled under Nidai’s breath.

“You like it, don’t you?” Nidai asked, voice low and husky. “Now you won’t be able to live without it.”

God, he’s so fucking ridiculous.

So much so that Matsuda can’t help but laugh.

“Do you have any idea how you fucking sound right now?” He almost chokes on a sudden purr when Nidai kneads his lower back. “Fuck, that feels really nice.”

Sometimes, he can’t help but be a hypocrite, sighing and humming in a way that was almost obscene. He felt himself quiver with a particularly deep press into his nape, and Nidai chuckled softly under his breath.

“That’s it. Feel the POWER of the Ultimate Masseur, NIDAI NEKOMARUUUUU!!!”

“Stop yelling, keep massaging,” Matsuda snapped. He sighed again when Nidai didn’t halt in rubbing down the knots in his shoulders. “Oh fuuuuck, that’s it...”

With each knot kneaded out, it was a lifetime of stress melting away. He could’ve dozed off like this and indeed, he did give in a little and for once in his life, he just—stopped—thinking.

After a while, his eyes fluttered open. Nidai’s hands weren’t on him anymore, but he still felt the other’s weight situated on the corner of the bed. Pushing himself up, Matsuda did in fact feel his body much easier to move. Looser, even. He stretched with a soft whine, and—there. A flinch. From the other party.

When he turned, Nidai flashed him with a broad grin.

“There’s still work to be done on your shoulders, but I didn’t want to disturb ya!” A hearty laugh, but one that seemed more breathless than before.

“You can keep going, then,” Matsuda said immediately and would’ve flopped back down had Nidai not pulled him back.

“Just like this is fine,” was muttered into his hair and those large hands gripped and squeezed his shoulders. In a more cranky state of mind, Matsuda would’ve groused about the sudden strangeness in the atmosphere.

But, Matsuda was feeling pretty compliant. It was clear now how Nidai managed to tame Owari. All Nidai had to do was press his thumb like so into the knot under Matsuda’s nape and Matsuda would jump off a fucking bridge for this.

For now, he just hummed in contentment as Nidai works his magic once more.

Until there’s another pause.

“Ahaha. Haha.” Did Nidai’s laugh sound a bit dry? “You said you had to go to the pharmacist, right?”

He had almost completely forgotten.

“Urgh.” Matsuda groaned as the reality of the situation settled right back in his head. Like a fucking infestation of cockroaches. “Fuck, right.”

“We can continue again later,” Nidai was saying. “Even if you’re not one of my athletes, you’re still...”

He trails off. Matsuda is too busy retrieving his clothes to comment on it, but he does notice the meathead coach’s sudden sheepishness.

He’s not...?

Nidai’s blush darkened when he glanced back.

The reality of the situation settled in. Nidai looked away.

...it’s nothing. It’s just the circumstances that are strange. Don’t—don’t be fucking stupid and look so deeply into something like...

He needed. To get his damn shoes.

But when he swings down to retrieve them, he realizes his door has been opened.

And Owari is fucking glaring at him from the crack.

“What the FUCK?!”

And maybe, just maybe, Matsuda was a little too fucking flustered after all. And maybe he flung his shoe a little too hard. Owari may have taken it like a champ, but like a fucking idiot, she took it to the fucking face. Right on the damn nose.

“You were taking so LONG!” she exclaimed, completely undeterred with her stained bandage. It’d have to be replaced, she was probably bleeding again. “I won’t have ya completely monopolizing the old man’s IT!”

Nidai broke into uproarious laughter and Matsuda cursed himself out for expecting things to play out any other stupid fucking way.

This really isn’t the place for it. So, don’t fucking think about it. If this was a story, it’d be a fucking horror, not a romance.

“Right,” he griped. “To the fucking pharmacy, then.”

He just needed to get dressed. It’d be like nothing ever happened. Nothing at all.

At least it was a lot easier to move now.

I’ll have to see that brand new day again. Preferably soon. And then... I don’t know, maybe things can be normal?

The events transpired as normal. As expected. Whatever.

(But, no, he never got the chance to experience it again. But if he knew it’d be the first and last time on these stupid fucking islands, it wouldn’t have changed a thing between him, Nidai, or even Owari for that matter.)

#sdr2 #nekomaru nidai #nidai nekomaru #yasuke matsuda #matsuda yasuke #Magi fics #protag matsun #MatsuDai

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bidrums · 4 years ago

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My idea for the Repo sequel that we’ll never get and if we do probably won’t be like this but it’s my post and my idea so fuck it

Potential title- Repo! The Genetic Opera 2: Great Googly Moogly It’s All Gone To Shit Even More Than The Last Time /j

This will be a bit rambly and all over the place, and I’m going to format it with character arcs rather than plot points. Hopefully that will make this less all over the place.

So without further ado, here’s my idea:

(Read more because this will be loooooong)

General ideas:

-This will focus on the long-term fallout from the Opera Incident in the first film. It will be focused on one event, but on a larger scale

-Two plots: Master Plot and Lower Plot (because there will always be 20 subplots in an opera and I want to distinguish the main subplot from the other 19 lol)

-The themes from the original story of 1. Destiny versus choice and 2. Dystopian Economic Lessons will still be present

-It’s still an opera and we will milk all the opera we can out of it dammit

Master Plot:

-Set this years after the Opera Incident

-Focus on the Largo siblings and have Shilo be more on the side

-Go more into MOS and just how it affects people

-The tension will be the fact that Amber has her brothers on short leashes but is barely able to keep them in line, and it’s obvious to anyone with a set of eyes (so all the poor people)

-Luigi is in charge of the Repo Men, and he’s loving it. Unfortunately, he’s been ramping up their activity and setting them loose on everyone every chance he gets. Over the course of the story he’s shown to be going after people he has personal grudges against, as well as anyone he thinks will bring a profit to Geneco. He’ll get killed by one of his cronies, which he’ll be very shocked by

-Pavi’s in charge of surgery operations, but the messy parts that aren’t glamorous and are more importantly out of any PR fiascos. That doesn’t stop him from getting into PR fiascos, but those are just him being him. He also uses his position for personal gain, having a new face each week and having to replace Genterns and customers each week. His fate will be more ambiguous, but he does lose access to all his faces and will be cut off from the power that let him run around doing it. It’ll be heavily implied he gets MOS.

-Amber is just Not Vibing. She isn’t the star opera singer, having a company to run and all, and she HATES that. She’s good at handling the PR and appearing competent and even has gone without changing her appearance for a month! But she’s also struggling with the management side of things regarding surgeries and the organs and keeping the repossessions on schedule. And her history with street zydrate doesn’t help with the efforts to crack down on illegal Z doings, which she has been doing (the Repo men do more than repossess now!). She also knows her brothers are cooperating until they get the chance to take over and is trying to get that to not happen in her lifetime. At the end she’ll be stripped of everything and will be just another face looking for a hit of z in the crowd

-There’s gonna be a lot of trios and duets about these three, and Amber gets a couple of solos. As a treat.

-The Repo Men play a bigger role in this, obviously. Expand on the lore of the Repo Man, but keep them faceless unless they’re injured in some way (for example, Luigi stabs one to make a point). Make it clear that a good chunk of them are doing this under duress, wether to pay for a surgery or because of blackmail. But those people aren’t distinguishable under the uniforms. At the end they as a collective will be the ones in charge and not just the servants of the company, and everyone will live in fear of the Repo Man regardless of if you’ve paid off your debt or not

-Graverobber is still the narrator and he’s the only character that’s consistently thriving. More bodies to make more Z, after all. He’ll be the one to introduce the concept of an economic bubble, which will build off of the “for every market a submarket grows” deal he had, as well as set the stakes for Geneco. He’s gotten bolder, lurking around company property and doing business in more places than just alleys. No backstory, he doesn’t need one. He’s here to narrate shit and give you the cure. At the end, he’s the king of the streets and if you aren’t one of the people who can afford the ever-increasing expenses of getting treated by Geneco, you go to him.

-The climax will start with a broadcasted speech by Amber (thinking of something like “An appeal to [something]”. It’ll be right after Pavi gets demoted in whatever way he gets, and it’s intercut with Luigi and the Repo Men. The speech will be a solo set in the Opera and will basically be Amber trying to keep things under control as well as try to get the people who have been starting to rebel to not and work things out. It’s interrupted by the Repo Men stabbing Luigi and tossing his corpse onto the stage. Then we get something called “The bubble pops” or similar, which is the payoff for the economic bubble motif. Maybe something about crashes. People flood the opera from everywhere, carrying Amber and the remaining Genterns with them. It spills out into the streets, where confused and scared people are surrounded by the people hurting. And in the eye of the storm, narrating everything as calm as can be, is Graverobber

-The last song is the aftermath where Graverobber is hanging out doing his thing while the Repo Men prowl the streets. Not everything completely sucks, and you know eventually someone else will take over and build another market that will spawn a sub-market. That’s for another day, however.

Lower Plot

-A few side characters that work for Geneco will have some focus, mainly in the departments of “trying to keep this company going” and “trying not to die due to the Largo siblings”. They’ll be used to show how the power struggles trickle down through the company until they alongside the Repo Men take that power away.

-But the lower plot belongs to my girl Shilo.

-Poor Shilo can’t catch a break ever and I’d like to apologize for adding to that fact

-Shilo, having reclaimed her identity and her destiny, is still scared of what her father’s legacy will do to her and how people perceive her. So she swaps out one form of isolation for another, this time doing as much as she can to donate and start things to curb the need for Repo Men. They’re not very successful and have become something of a joke or just a hollow way to act like she’s doing something. Which she’s trying to do, she really is. She’s just not very successful

-She’s kept the holograms of her mom but has added a few of Nathan as well. The basement kill room is now her bug collection room. Small changes like that, but it’s not that changed

-She doesn’t really go out during the day that much, and only sticks to a few locations at night. She will hang out with Graverobber for a chat and cryptic narration, but she’ll be as detached of an observer as she can be

-Towards the climax, her health takes a sharp downwards turn and she has to go into public. Turns out she did inherit Marni’s blood disease, which manifests later in life. Just a freak accident of the genes

-Desperate to keep public faith, Amber offers to pay for the surgery and cure to the disease. Shilo’s faced with the conundrum of what to do

-She decides to just take medication (real medication) and attempts to not believe that it’s secretly poison like she took her whole life. It help her, but it severs her ties with Geneco, leaving her to survive on her own

-The new lead opera singer is the one to warn Shilo of the impending disaster that is the climax, and she’s faced with another choice: bar herself in her house and accept the life she’s made as a shut-in, or brave the mob and actually be involved with public life once again

-She chooses the latter, and is the second, smaller eye of the storm. She and Graverobber make eye contact, he knowingly nods in a silent promise to keep her safe, and she runs into the Opera to see what the damage is

-Reprise of a solo she had, and maybe have a callback to the Opera incident in it

-After everything, Shilo is shown to be an opposing force to the Repo Men; a small force, but a force nevertheless. She’s turned her house into a kind of sanctuary where people are actually protected without a ruler, and has started to campaign for change. For people to decide what happens to their genes

So yeah, that’s what I imagine. Sorry that it’s all over the place! Let me know what you think

#repo! the genetic opera

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wellesleyunderground · 4 years ago

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Pandemic Pregnancy by Jess Sirizzotti ‘10 (@JezRebelle)

Having your first kid during a global pandemic makes for a very weird experience. Though the much anticipated “quarantine baby boom” turned out not to be the reality, there were still many pregnancies that started, continued, or wrapped up in 2020-2021.

Being pregnant during a pandemic is about as isolating as you’d expect. Reduced immunity plus *gestures vaguely* everything meant that a lot of people grew a person in unprecedented ways. What I struggled with the most (beyond the overarching panic and dread of a world on fire) was that there was no benchmarking. I could have made it nine months at work before telling anyone, because they only saw me on video conference from the clavicle up. There were no hospital tours, no childbirth classes, no expectant parenting groups.

Whenever you’re going through it, there seems to be no middle ground between dry, evidence-based medicine and projecting yourself entirely into the astral plane for communing with the ancestors. Here are a few things that helped me through my pregnancy, and some things I wish I’d known earlier.

Illustration Credit: Mercedes deBellard

Prep work

There are plenty of guides about how much you should have saved or what kind of physical shape you should be in. Some of that is helpful.

Oddly missing from those guides is “get a handle on your traumas.” Talk to a therapist. Talk to a partner. Talk to yourself in a diary where you ask yourself questions about what you want to carry with you and what terrifies you about having a kid. There are questionnaires for people donating living organs, and it does not hurt to say, “Hey, if there is a problem with ANY OF THE MYRIAD OF THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG, how would I work through those feelings? What are the boundaries I want for this process that will make me feel safer or in control?””

If you’re getting pregnant with someone who will raise this kid with you, get into it with them. Have very specific conversations about what you will do about parental leave, diapers, daycare, requests for tattoos from a twelve-year-old. My husband and I would read the Care & Feeding parenting column from Slate, debating how we would handle the conundrums of different letters before getting the “answer” from the columnist.

Also, get as full a picture of family pregnancy as you can. You might know your own birth story, but what about the other half of the genetics you’ll be juggling? I, personally, managed to mash up my MIL’s hyperemesis gravidarum and my mom’s gestational diabetes which has been...not a great time.

And ask *lots* of questions. I had pretty low-stakes issues making it into the world, but it turns out all my dad’s generation of siblings all needed to stay in the NICU. My dad had multiple full-body blood transfusions in his first days. That would have been helpful to know!

That said, what I was most shocked to learn is that there is no way to know what kind of pregnancy you’re going to have until you’re in it. Even if you’ve had a kid before—you can have wildly different experiences! There’s literally no way to know in advance!

Pro tip: you can’t know for certain what pregnancy will be like for you, but getting a broad picture can help it seem less like a cliff jump into the unknown.

Getting pregnant will take longer than you think

Once again, for those in the back, GETTING PREGNANT WILL TAKE LONGER THAN YOU THINK.

For starters, you will need to stop not getting pregnant, which has been the focus of most young adult lives since your fertility started. I had to get my IUD removed and also get revaccinated for a bunch of things (rubella, flu, tetanus). If you were on the pill, it may take a few months to get everything out of your system. Then, you will do something to try to get pregnant and wait for two weeks. Whether it takes two weeks, two months, or ten years—it will feel like a very long time.

Especially because by this point, I felt ready to have a child. I looked at the calendar and thought, “Oh good, the kid will be X horoscope sign. They’ll have their birthday during the school year. Their birthday will be X year, and that will be easy to remember.” I made plans.

And then I just...didn’t get pregnant. And kept not getting pregnant. Every month of getting my period was so frustrating. I had charted my cycle! I had taken my temperature to figure out if I was ovulating! I swallowed these giant prenatal vitamins that are the size of a human toe!

Some people do get pregnant instantly, and many blessings on their ultra-efficient plumbing. Some people get pregnant when they don’t want to, and they should be able to have a choice about whether to have those kids.

For most people, there will be a while between deciding to have a child through pregnancy and getting one started. It is happening everywhere, to countless people, and is one of the hardest, loneliest, most unintelligible experiences—made worse by the fact that people are shoving their feet into their own faces around you for the entire experience. You’re surrounded by people getting pregnant (magically! easily! with barely a whisper of effort!), people asking you when you will become pregnant, people congratulating you on not being pregnant because you can go out, drink, get really into aerial silks, etc. And you will have to not punch them in the face.

If you are under 35, most doctors will not even talk to you about fertility issues until you have tried for a year. That’s a minimum of twelve cycles of trying, twelve “I feel really good about this month” conversations, twelve pregnancy tests that say you’re not pregnant, twelve months at a job you may not like but stay at because they have good parental leave benefits or insurance coverage.

After a year (and after you get on their schedule) a fertility specialist can offer you fun adventures like getting dye injected into your fallopian tubes to see if they’re blocked, approval to shoot yourself up with expensive hormones (at home! with a real needle!), and any of the other amazing methods technology and medicine have discovered that tweak any of the multitude of handoffs that need to happen for a pregnancy to “take.”

If I can ask one thing, assume at least one person in earshot of your public conversation is trying to get pregnant and can’t—and be a little kinder.

Pro tip: get the cheaper pregnancy tests with lines rather than the electronic ones with words, because there are few bigger downers than seeing “NOT PREGNANT” month after month.

Find a practitioner you like

Because eventually, you will want to strangle them. It’s important to start with someone you like, so that the strangling phase will be late in the pregnancy and not a sustained hatred for nine full months.

Whether you’re pregnant or working with a reproductive specialist, having someone who listens to you will help. Some people cannot deal with hippie woo woo, some cannot imagine a pregnancy that’s all medical jargon. If you’re a person of color or want to have certain cultural traditions respected from the get-go, vetting at the beginning can avoid being at loggerheads later. Take some time to reflect on good and bad medical experiences you’ve had, and if you have options, choose someone who will not make you hyperventilate every time you have an appointment.

For me, I knew I needed a doctor who would not give me a hard time about weight gain. I have a history of disordered eating and (pre-pregnancy) was competing as a super heavyweight lifter, so am used to plenty of unsolicited opinions about my weight and what I should be doing with it. Pregnancy is fraught enough to take a single off-hand comment to an extreme, and I was deeply uninterested in negotiating an anorexia relapse while battling all the pregnancy changes.

If you have some time, shuffle up your pre-pregnancy appointments to get a feel for different doctors. I pulled up ZocDoc for my insurance network and came up with some finalists: had my annual exam by one, my IUD taken out by another, and my MMR re-vaccine done by a third. I knew my practice was right for me when the doctor offered to take all weight measurements patient-blind for the entire pregnancy.

Pro tip: think about what style of doctoring would make you feel better during this time, and give yourself the gift of one less thing to stress about.

Taking information in

Like the best of us, I enjoy a Wikipedia rabbit hole. I’m an especially good finder and am frequently tagged in as the friend who can unearth the secret Tumblr or yearbook photo of an elusive crush. I can find anything, and have a Jeopardy-level mental trapper keeper for bizarre edge-cases.

This is...not great for pregnancy, especially when unleashed on the “seems legit” constellation of mommy blogs. There are a million things that can go wrong with a pregnancy, and past a certain point, knowing more does not make you more likely to avoid or survive them.

Think of it like a fractal. Having the general shape of the tree: useful. Hyperfocusing so hard on one of the branches that you lose days in front of the computer screen, diving deeper into medical texts and unconfirmed narratives until you completely glaze over: less so.

Knowing this about myself helped me manage the unceasing amount of feedback offered by everyone from doctors to bystanders. I limited myself to one book (Emily Oster’s Expecting Better, which is wonderful), a doctor I trusted, and small doses of the Wellesley pregnancy group. I still couldn’t stop myself from reading every op-ed about miscarriage and stillbirth, but I was able to process them as things I was choosing to read instead of a compulsion I could not turn off.

Pro tip: really think about how much information serves you. It can feel like knowing every little thing will make you an expert who is ironclad against any malady. That’s, unfortunately, not how it works.

Sending information out

Like information gathering, you’ll want to decide how, when, and who to share information with. Having a pandemic pregnancy gave me a lot more power over when I disclosed than I would have had normally—I was sick as hell and it would have been a first-month discussion at work rather than a third-month one. It has allowed others to have entire pregnancies in private, only announcing when the baby has been delivered.

I found it helpful to think of pregnancy updates in concentric rings: my husband and I in the innermost circle, immediate family and some friends next, wider friend group and extended family, and then everyone else. I didn’t have to give minute-by-minute updates to everyone in the world if I didn’t want to, and a quick “Oh actually that’s private” was usually enough to keep any especially nosy questions to a minimum.

There were people who surprised me with wanting to know much more, and some who heard “baby” and unsubscribed. Both are fine!

Pro tip: if at all possible, curate a group of friends who are far from having first kids so that you can be assured of a rapt audience of “WHAT can happen??” Plus, at least one friend with a recent kid who’s very organized who can tell you what’s helpful to buy and what is BS.

Particular pandemic weirdness (good and bad)

While it has been lonely, it has also been wonderfully private. Some particular strange markers:

It is very odd to go from several months of zero physical contact with anyone outside my apartment directly into an intravaginal ultrasound.

My husband is going to meet our doctor at the delivery, because no one except patients is allowed past the lobby at our practice.

I will likely not need to buy any maternity clothes, because my pandemic outfits of blousy shirts and stretchy pants to work from home will suit perfectly.

No one touches my stomach unless I want them to.

Remote birthing classes allow you to snicker as much as you’d like from the comfort of your couch.

Things I did not know and wish I had

The way they count how far along you are starts from the first day of your last period. That is not when you got pregnant, but is the easiest way to have a consistent range for all patients (who may or may not be tracking ovulation spikes).

It is normal to have spotting-level breakthrough bleeding at some point during your pregnancy. The books will tell you this. Your doctor will tell you this. I am telling you this now. It will not make a damn bit of difference, because the moment you see blood, you will panic and be certain you are having a miscarriage. No one will be able to convince you otherwise until you get checked out.

Your entire digestive system slows waaaay down to accommodate a pregnancy, and is part of the reason for nausea. I had heard that you will need to pee all the time, but hadn’t heard that you will almost entirely stop pooping. And then once a week, you will crap yourself inside out.

The placenta can grow wherever it wants, including smack-dab over your cervix. This offends me more than I can say. That’s where the baby needs to go out! (C-section is required in these cases)

A cesarean birth is a horizontal cut, like an envelope opening and then they squeeze the baby through it. I always pictured it vertical, like opening a book.

Acronyms are a minefield on pregnancy forums. For months, I read posts thinking “FTM” meant “female-to-male trans person” instead of “first-time mom.” Don’t be afraid to Google to keep your bearings, but also feel free to create your own—DH can be “Dear” or “Damn” Husband depending on context.

“Morning sickness” is a misnomer. It can happen all day. It can happen for your whole pregnancy, though most women see a gradual decrease after the first trimester. I’m mid-way through my third trimester, and still throwing up six times a day. If I had known that earlier, I would not have tried to “stick it out” for as long as I did: cooking meals from scratch, insisting that pre-packaged snacks were for wimps. If you are sick, get comfortable EARLY. You don’t get extra points or a better baby for staying miserable, so you might as well lean in to Couch and Cheese Central. If it clears up, great. If not, at least you’re not already tired from trying too hard.

Around 4% of babies are born on their due dates. Do not assume your third trimester will be the length you would like it to be. My doctor has proposed a 37 week induction (because of all the sickness and gestational diabetes). While that is technically full-term, that news was given to me in such a way that low-balled the panic of being A FULL MONTH EARLY. As in, LOSING A THIRD OF THE TRIMESTER.

The baby is lower than you may expect—actual location is generally half-way between navel and nethers. If you’re patting the top of a pregnant person’s stomach (with their permission), you are far away from where the kid is.

There is no good news during a pregnancy. The best you can hope for is continuing to meet the baseline. I am so much more understanding of gender reveal parties, because it is literally the only test result that you can have an opinion about. No ultrasound or blood test will come back with, “Congratulations, your child is gifted!” or “They’re going to be so good at tennis!” It is nine straight months of finding out you’re high risk or not for sickle-cell anemia or tuberculosis. I stopped writing them down after awhile because it felt like every one was, “Oh damn, I didn’t even know we were still concerned about that.”

“Round ligament pain” is the technical term for sharp, stabbing pain in your groin caused by all the ligaments in your hips and crotch helpfully loosening to allow for gestation and birth. This can start as early as 14 weeks, which one would think is way too fricking early for it, but nope. You’d be wrong. The general recommendation for this is to keep your knees together, to which I say, “That particular ship has left the harbor.”

#wellesley underground #pregnancy #pandemic pregnancy

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unsettledink · 4 years ago

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So I'm offering a Starker (or Spiderio or any combo of the three) fic, min 5k, for the Marvel Trumps Hate charity auction. I know I'm not exactly well known in this fandom, but hey, here's a chance to get some custom made fic! (The auction ends Saturday the 24th!)

I know browsing the auctions for things I want bid on, I've had some moments of 'but what specifically would I want to read?'. Maybe others are having that thought too? So I thought I'd put out some of the ideas sitting around, waiting for me to write them, in case one catches someone's interest enough to donated $10 to charity! (I've got one of these for Spiderio too, if that's appealing.)

I'm kind of grouping these because it got long. (Smut, smut + feels, fluff, oh no the sads)

Just the smut! (Ok some feels):

Continuation of Hang Up – so what does happen the next morning after that phone call? (Sex. Probably more phone sex.)

Peter is dumb online – Peter decides to auction off his virginity online. Of course Tony finds out immediately. Of course Tony buys it to keep Peter from getting hurt. Of course Tony decides to meet up and teach Peter a lesson about being safe – wait. That might have been a mistake. (It's not.)

Actually, Peter doesn't like it rough – miscommunication piled on top of miscommunication because they're both idiots who are desperate for each other, until a tipping point is reached. Happy ending! Fluffy ending!

Gag reflex training – pretty much what it sounds like. Tony having a lot of fun with Peter; messy, noisy, hopefully hot.

Experienced Peter – Peter hasn't been waiting around for Tony to be the first, and he's had time to figure out some of his preferences. Like topping almost exclusively, among other things.

Civil War pick me up – after the airport, Tony goes to check on Peter and is in desperate need of something nice. Peter really, really wants to be that something nice. Could be underage, could be not.

Continuation of Gift Wrapped – (Peter/Tony/Pepper) there's a lot more sex happening for Tony's birthday than I had time to write for kinktober.

But you want me to be safe, don't you? - Peter's hit with sex pollen, but it can be taken care of without outside help. Peter would still really like it if Tony would help. Or would at least keep an eye on him. Or at least stay in hearing range! He won't be able to resist if Peter's noisy and saying his name while he gets off, right???

Armor Kink - I mean, basically what it says on the tin. Peter’s been having fantasies about the armor forever. Tony is absolutely willing to help him with that.

ABO forced presentation – Peter doesn't know what he'll end up being, and that's bad for Reasons. He convinces Tony try forcing a presentation (not noncon type forcing) and things get weird. Playing around with the idea of how non-binary might go in ABO. Possible Tony/Peter/Pepper endship. More than likely somewhat underage.

Avengers orgy – Peter's finally old enough to join in the tradition! While he's having fun with everyone, Peter and Tony keep gravitating to each other, winding up with things getting a little too emotional when Tony finally gets his chance. Potential for Tony/Peter/Rhodey endship.

The spider bite did what?!? - Peter starts having really weird cravings when he's around Tony. Weird as in blood, and Tony is going to help him figure this out. Even when it turns into a craving for sex (and bloodplay). Even when it turns into terrifying (for Peter) egg/medical kink.

Smut! Oh wait, where did all these feelings come from?:

Toybox – slightly darker Peter decides if Tony won't fuck him, the least Tony can do is pay for Peter's toys, and watch while Peter enjoys them. No touching allowed since Tony doesn't want him, after all. Which is a rule that gets harder and harder to keep in place; feelings, so many feelings everywhere.

Pain kink Peter – what it says on the tin, lol. “Oh Mr. Stark, maybe you should supervise this slightly dangerous sex thing I like.” I think we can guess where it heads from there.

Call boy Peter – what it sounds like! It's an accident that Tony gets him; good thing Peter was blindfolded! Bad thing that Peter's senses are enhanced and he knows from the start who it is. Good thing that Peter's not going to say anything so he can keep this reliable customer?

Evil Ex D/S verse – Peter's pretty insecure about being a good sub for Tony and it's not helped at all when one of Tony's ex subs tells him he'll never be able to take what Tony wants to dish out. Well, Peter's going to prove him wrong! Tony really doesn't understand why Peter is making himself miserable for something Tony doesn't even want, and things almost break before they get fixed.

Fluff! (Crap there's not much):

Follow up to Seiche – mostly fluffy 5 times +1 where the emotion sensing bond causes (minor) problems

Fluffy D/S verse – all the fluff! All the outside POV! Everyone assumes that obviously Tony is a dom; after all, that's how he's always presented himself. Everyone is wroooooong. Tony's never been happier.

Nail polish – little bit of Tony finding it incredibly appealing when Peter wears nail polish

Oh No + all the feelings, heavy on the bad ones:

Soulmark AU – Tony finds out first and isn't going to do anything due to the age difference. Peter finds out and thinks that's bullshit + horribly hurt that he's being rejected. Things are forced when Peter gets hit with a drug that messes with that bond and they both have to figure out how things are going to go. Possible bittersweet ending.

Screw soulmates, actually - Post CW and Tony dealing with soulmate rejection (that’s a WHOLE other fic). Peter’s become convinced Tony’s a blank like him, and then doesn’t understand why Tony’s soulmate wouldn’t want him. Peter does! They get their happy ever after without being fated for each other, and Peter gets a chance to tells Tony’s soulmate what a dick they are. All the satisfaction!

Untenable – sequel to Indefensible and … horrible. The ABO underage incest continues, Tony hates himself, Peter is distressingly happy. Mpreg makes everything ten times worse; endgame makes everything 100 times worse. Going beyond that would be spoilery, but uh. Everything becomes 1000 times worse by the end! Yay! Yikes.

ABO accidental bonding – the worst abo version, heads up. Underage Peter, omegas are treated very poorly, Peter and Tony don't know each other beforehand and don't do great getting to know each other afterwards. Biology continues to fuck Peter over, and Tony really doesn't get how desperately Peter wants Tony to like him. Mountains and mountains of angst and sad before the happy ending.

Copy - After IW, Tony makes a Peter clone/android/whatever. Unfortunately, it just makes things worse because it’s just enough off to make it super obvious it’s not Peter. And fake!Peter knows it too. He’s just enough like real Peter to fall in love with Tony too, and he can’t figure out how to make Tony care about him instead of real, dead Peter. Not that it matters when he snap is reversed (Tony lives) and fake!Peter isn’t needed or wanted anymore. (Will probably have a sequel where real Peter finds out about all this, probably happy ending for everyone.)

Nothing sticks around - years after the blip, Peter discovers Tony, alive - only Tony has none of his memories. Tony doesn’t want anything to do with these people Peter tries to reintroduce him to; he trusts Peter and wants to stay with him. And does, for quite some time, things turning into a relationship, and even if Peter feels guilty about it, he’s happy. Right up until Tony suddenly remembers everything ... except what’s been going on the last few years with Peter. Undecided if there’s a happy ending or not.

I hate time travel - once Tony figures out time travel, he decides he needs to find out if this works by hopping forward and seeing if Peter is back. And then maybe he should hop forward a little more just to check on him. Keeps doing this, about once a year, and while Peter is so glad to see him, it’s destroying Peter to basically go through Tony ‘dying’ over and over. Pretty soon it’s fucking up Tony too, after he accidentally shows up when Peter’s in the middle of sex. Very bittersweet ending to maintain the timeline.

Fuck you, Beck - Beck goes about getting the glasses in the worst ways, and Peter finds out a little too late - way too late when it comes to sleeping with him. Not that he’s going to ever tell anyone about that. Not even Tony, when Tony comes back. Not even Tony, when it turns out Tony is interested. Okay, maybe he’ll have to tell Tony when Peter’s reactions to sex become a problem. Happy ending but lots of ouch on the way.

Sequel to Dormant - so what exactly does Tony notice the morning after? And what exactly does Peter do about it? (Spoiler: A lot more than Peter thought he would, and nothing good.)

Don't punish people like that – as much Tony/Obie as Tony/Peter, maybe pre-Tony/Peter. Obie decided to deal with Tony's wild streak by punishing him in an especially awful, painful, dehumanizing, sexual way. Tony's managed to handle how awful that was by pretending it was helpful (nope!). When Peter will not stop misbehaving, the last resort Tony can think of is what was done to him. It helped, right? (He can't bring himself to in the end, which sets off a cascading failure of repressed trauma, woot!)

Sex Pollen Non-Con – Tony's hit with some sort of fuck or die stuff; only problem is that he 100% refuses to let Peter do anything, and there's no one else. Peter, convinced that Tony's going to die, stops giving Tony a choice. What's that, the trauma Tony was hoping to spare him is replaced with way worse trauma from basically raping Tony? WHOOPS. (Probably happy ending!)

Secondhand verse – following after this, things growing steadily worse, hotter, and more complex between Peter, Beck, and Tony. Bad decisions all around! Unexpected feelings all around! General unhappiness at having feelings that can be hurt all around! Probably a series of fics.

12:00 - follow up to 11:59, Tony and Peter finally getting it on and Beck being an ass in the background. Also the prequel that’s primarily Peter/Quentin, and possibly a sequel where Tony decides that maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, watching Beck fuck Peter - and Peter liked it, right? Everyone’s down for a totally uncomplicated round two, right?

(And feel free to talk to me about anything here, I love an excuse to ramble.)

#starker #tony x peter #tony stark x peter parker #idea dump #idea squad #marvel trumps hate

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jojostory · 5 years ago

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How to Fight COVID-19: Geek Edition

Hi friends! Given the pandemic going on, I thought I’d interrupt my irregularly-scheduled artist alley tip posts to point out some resources and tips on how to help fight COVID-19 in the U.S. First, choose your fighter: Are you a gamer, an artist/cosplayer/craftsperson, a merch enthusaist, or some combo of the above? Once you’ve chosen, keep reading to find out what you can do! Let’s gooooo!

Gamers

Donate computing power! Do you have a sick gaming rig? Put it to work for science when you’re not using it! Folding@home is a project for crowdsourcing simulations of proteins to help find cures and treatments for various diseases like Alzheimer’s, Ebola, and now, COVID-19! You just download a program that runs in the background on your PC, and you can pause it whenever need need that computing power back. (Don’t forget to turn it back on though!)

Pay what you want for the Humble Conquer COVID-19 Bundle! Get a WHOLE bunch of really great games for whatever price you name and support charities like Doctors Without Borders and Direct Relief! Ended April 7, 2020. Thanks to those who bought the bundle!

Artists/Cosplayers/Craftspeople

Donate personal protective equipment (PPE) to hospitals! Do you have leftover gloves, safety goggles, or N95 respirator masks you use in your art that you’re probably not going to be using since conventions are cancelling left and right anyway? Check out GetUsPPE and let them know you have supplies. You’ll be contacted by a volunteer to arrange a time for them to come by to pick up the stuff (and you can just leave it outside your door at the appointed time, so no contact needed!)

PPE also includes hand sanitizers/wipes (that I know a lot of us artists carry to conventions to prevent con crud after handling money all day!)

Sew and donate facemasks! Yes, cloth facemasks are not going to protect you from coronavirus, but they can help as a last resort to mitigate spread of the virus. There seem to be less official donation drives for this sort of thing, but consider giving a couple to folks that are in non-medical but essential jobs like grocery store cashiers or delivery folks (and make sure to instruct them to wash them often). Some hospitals will also take cloth masks for use in cases when N95 respirators aren’t absolutely needed so that they can conserve their mask supply (see below Vanderbilt link for source).

Here’s one tutorial for cloth facemasks from Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

More tips and info on cloth facemasks from Good Housekeeping.

Sew facemask headbands! Get some stretchy fabric and buttons to make it easy to wear masks for hours on end! See this Twitter post for inspiration. Consider giving them to people you give masks to!

Keep making art if you can! It’s easy for us to tell ourselves that art isn’t important in times when many are just struggling to survive. But remember that art can help people feel less alone in bad times, and can remind people of good times.

Merch Enthusaists

Donate money! Got extra cash you were saving for artist alley/exhibit hall shopping sprees, but no conventions to go to? Donate to a good cause! Here’s some ideas:

World Health Organization COVID-19 Response Fund

GetMePPE: support the volunteers who are collecting PPE donations for hospitals

Feeding America and Meals on Wheels: support getting food to people who need it, especially in times when many grocery stores are wiped out.

Local homeless shelters: to prevent spread, everyone needs to be able to social distance -- and that includes homeless folks too! Help keep shelters as uncrowded, safe, and healthy as possible.

Support small businesses! Many of your favorite artists have online stores (look for Etsys or Bandcamps), so you can still support them there! However, because many artist’s suppliers (think charm printers and such!) are still closed, artists are having a hard time keeping things in stock. Consider asking for custom commissions!

Buy gift cards if you want to support a business but don’t need anything right away.

If you’re getting takeout/delivery, remember to tip extra well!

All Geeks

Stay inside as much as possible! It’s a good time to get through your video game or anime backlog. Tell everyone how good your shows are so they’ll stay inside too.

Put your internet-savviness to good use!

Make sure your friends and relatives are getting accurate information about COVID-19 prevention.

Set your friends and family up with apps so they can watch shows/play games with each other online.

Consider giving blood. Unfortunately, the need for blood to help people in critical condition in hospitals doesn’t stop because the pandemic is here. If you’re healthy and can make it to a donation center near you, please consider giving!

A tip I really liked from one of my favorite podcasters: call your dumbest friend and tell them about all the tips above!

Any other tips (or categories of geek!) I should add? Please feel free to contact me to let me know, and please spread far and wide if you found it helpful!

Last updated: 2020/03/31

#jojostory #art tips #aa tips #coronavirus #covid-19 #how to help fight coronavirus #how to help fight covid-19

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makeste · 6 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 226: Oh Shit We’re Caught Up

Previously on BnHA: The still-captured Giran warned Re-Des that the League wasn’t going to give a shit about rescuing him, and reminded him that if the League sicced a Noumu on the Army they were as good as dead. But Re-Des was all “nah they don’t have any Noumus to sic at the moment” and give an annoyingly thorough summary of his deductive reasoning. Meanwhile in the town, Kizuki, a.k.a. the Rita Skeeter of BnHA, pestered Toga for an interview. She seemed to have done her research, too -- she knew Toga’s age, and that she ran away from home after graduating middle school. None of Toga’s friends or family saw it coming, apparently, and Kizuki -- whose quirk allows her to turn anything she touches into a bomb -- wanted to know the deal. She allowed Toga to suck up some of her subordinates’ blood, then promptly exploded it. She then asked Toga why she’d abandoned her normal life. In response, Toga smiled one of her crazy smiles and was all “a normal life? what’s that?” Lol okay. Anyway, the last few pages were peppered with as-yet-unexplained flashback scenes, so I’m guessing we’re about to find out just what makes this girl tick at long last.

Today on BnHA: We explore Toga’s backstory in a series of flashbacks. Basically her quirk gave her a fascination for blood which her quirk counseling never properly addressed, and so one day she just snapped and killed a dude. But she was such a cute little kid though. Whatever Toga I still love you. Anyway, so back in the present, Kizuki tries to psychoanalyze Toga and makes her out to be a victim of a society that doesn’t have a place for her. Kizuki says that Toga will become a martyr for the Liberation Army’s cause. But Toga is all “fuck that” and breaks free of Kizuki’s clutches, transforming into Ochako using the last of the blood she took back during the forest arc. Kizuki mocks the seemingly useless transformation, stating that she knows Toga can only change her appearance on the outside. Unfortunately for Kizuki, this isn’t entirely the case, as it’s revealed that while transformed, Toga is able to use the quirks of whoever she turns into. She proceeds to float Kizuki way up into the air and then release her, splattering her onto the ground. Like, she’s definitely dead now, oh shit. Anyways so it’s pretty awesome, albeit grisly as all heck. Now to wait for the rest of the League to follow suit and kick some Liberation Army ass.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 226, which, wait, this is chapter 226. Oh shit lol. But I’m posting this a week after I first read the chapter so any ETAs will reflect that.)

okay so we’re opening with a flashback to a news story or something?

injured but didn’t kill? that doesn’t sound like the Toga we all know and love :’)

hey what the

is Toga not her real name??? didn’t we get confirmation from Gran Torino back during the Pizza Delivery mission? what’s up with that

(ETA: this is really weird, though. they never once refer to her by name during any of the flashback scenes. maybe this is just for stylistic purposes? I don’t think her name is supposed to be any sort of big secret but who knows?)

anyway so yeah

that just means she lub him, guys. that’s just how she is. poor Saito

(ETA: btw Caleb Cook pointed out on his Twitter that this looks to be the Deku lookalike from the previous chapter. so if he was one of AFO’s kids, that’s kind of interesting that AFO had no issue with Tomura hiring his son’s killer later on. I don’t personally think there was any AFO relation though.)

oh wow

rude. that’s my best girl you’re talking about. she’s just a little vampirish, what? Vlad King can make people’s blood fucking do tricks, and you don’t see anyone accusing *him* of being devil spawn. smh

awwwww

cats do this all the time and people fucking love cats! I’m telling you, these are double standards!

oh hey we’re back in the present

so Kizuki is all “so you think you’re living normally? lol you weirdo” basically

and she’s looking at the smiling blood-covered Toga and is all “so this is your ‘true face’“

she’s calling her “the very embodiment of the dark side of superhuman society.” girl what

okay look, I’m not saying Toga doesn’t have a screw or two loose. and yes, she is very fond of blood. but if we’re going to call someone the literal embodiment of the dark side of society then can I interest you in a few other choice candidates, though?? Toga is what we like to call Mostly Evil. there’s a big difference between Mostly Evil and All Evil! Mostly Evil is Slightly Good! whereas with All Evil, well, with All Evil there’s usually only one thing you can do. (accuse them of being the protagonist’s Secret Dad.)

anyways

nooooo my sweet demented child is coughing and teetering onto the ground

jesus it’s almost like she’s been FUCKING BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT good grief

and now Kizuki is all “you poor thing.” hey Kizuki you can fuck off right now thanks

HEY

LADY UNLESS YOU WANT TO CATCH THESE HANDS YOU HAD BETTER STEP AWAY FROM MY POOR HURT CHILD AND STOP TOUCHING HER FUCKING FACE

-- oh shit, though!!

[flips open notebook; clicks pen] don’t mind me lady please continue

I mean, I would imagine one of the goals of the program would be to embrace the fact that you’re different. that’s hardly an isolating thing in a society like this one where everyone is so unique that the established word for their superpowers literally means “individuality”

(ETA: on a reread, it actually sounds like the program is intended to do just the opposite of that and the goal is to get everyone to fit in. how the hell they expect to accomplish that in a society where everyone has wacky abilities is beyond me! no wonder the program has issues if this really is the case though.)

but anyways I’m sorry to interrupt, please keep talking about quirk counseling and how it didn’t work for Toga while I sit here and quietly take my notes

you guys oh no she’s too damn cute. I can’t

oh boy

?? and why the hell not, though? sure it might freak some people out that she likes her steaks a little rarer than most, but I don’t see why they couldn’t have accommodated this the same as any other quirk. people donate blood all the time; couldn’t she have gotten a legal supply for her own medical needs? the live animals and such are a bit weird, true, but again, it’s not all that different from what your cat would get up to given half the chance. I feel like they could have found other outlets for her to channel some of that bloodlust, while helping to sate any physical cravings with the aforementioned donated blood supply. if you ask me, whoever counseled her dropped the ball honestly

(ETA: and her parents, too. this makes me want to rewatch the first season of Dexter actually. too bad Toga’s parents weren’t like Dexter’s dad.)

anyway let’s watch society fail poor Toga

well that didn’t take long

see this seriously doesn’t make any sense to me though. IT’S QUIRK SOCIETY, GUYS. NO ONE IS FUCKING NORMAL. WHY CAN’T YOU BE BETTER PARENTS. HOW ABOUT THAT ONE THOUGH

I honestly can’t decide if I’m glad we got more insight into Toga’s headspace, or annoyed that they went and gave her Secret Angst. the problem is I don’t think she needed Secret Angst in order to be a good character, or a likable one. I’m not so sure I really like the implication here that It’s Not Toga’s Fault, Because Society Failed Her. like, I’ve talked about my feelings on this kind of thing before. I prefer It Is Her Fault But She Owns It Though. just because I like when characters take responsibility for their own shit and it’s not just excused or handwaved

but on the other hand, Toga is the type of character who doesn’t need redemption so much as rehabilitation. so it is good to get some kind of an idea as to why she went off the rocker, in that respect. idk. I have mixed feelings, maybe by the time I post this recap I’ll have sorted it out more in my head lol

(ETA: yeah so after reflecting on it some more, it’s more like she was always the way she is, and was just repressing it, and then one day got tired of repressing it. being told she should act one way when she felt like her true self was someone totally different. so it’s not really “society fucked her up” so much as “she was already a little kooky and they just failed to properly address it until it was too late.” so that’s fine, I guess. it’s about what I expected. and hey, at least we got some cute Baby Toga scenes out of the bargain, so.)

anyway now Toga’s making to stab Kizuki and shouting at her to shut up. oh damn

OH DAMN

(ETA: oh you might want to be careful with that Detnerat merch though, lady. seems to be on par with Hammer Tech in terms of reliability.)

DID YOU BLOW UP TOGA’S FUCKING FACE HOLY FUCK

HOLY SHIT SHE REALLY DID

if that’s the case then why are you guys trying to kill her

oh for fuck’s

said sacred text will gloss over exactly how she died though, I suppose? you guys are such fucking hypocrites. you act like you’re the saviors of the world bringing freedom to everyone, but those ideals only seem to hold up so long as they’re convenient. “blah blah blah society is so evil and doesn’t care about people like you. meanwhile we will straight up murder your ass, but never fear, your death will help ensure that no one else has to endure the cruelty of this apathetic world”

like, imagine beating someone with a stick, while screaming at them about how society wants to beat them with a lot more sticks just like this, but not to worry though because their death will make sure no more people get beaten to death with sticks by society. I’m really bad with metaphors you guys, but do you feel me though? just, fuck these guys so hard

I like that Kizuki apparently seems to think Toga is actually dead, though, because honestly. she should be, lol

...or maybe she doesn’t think that, because now she’s asking Toga to correct her if she made any mistakes with her conjectures

and Toga is rolling out of her grasp and ducking off!

GO TOGA!! RUN LIKE THE WIND! I DON’T LIKE HER EITHER! EXACTLY, YOU’RE NOT UNFORTUNATE, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING. she’s trying to make you out to be some helpless little victim, but it’s like, bitch, she chose to be evil in order to live her best life so go fuck yourself

TOGAAAAAA

THANK YOU!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SECRET ANGST BULLSHIT. STOP ACCUSING HER OF FAKING IT LIKE YOU KNOW HER SO DAMN WELL

she says that just as everyone else kisses people that they like, she sucks blood from the people she likes

EYYYYYYYYY

YESSSSSSSSS TOGA THIS IS WHY YOU’RE MY BEST GIRL

oh my god. okay so someone sent me an anon ask early Thursday afternoon (ETA: this was last Thursday April 25; I read the chapter on the 26th) to the effect of “the mystery has been solved; she CAN use quirks”, so I’m getting an inkling that we’re about to see Toga do some zero gravity bullshit and I’m here for it. but unfortunately I’m spoiled for it. please give me time to read the new chapters when they come out, guys. since I’m writing down my reactions, I’m not able to just read the manga on my phone as soon as chapters come out; the whole process takes me a good hour or two usually, and I prefer to read on my computer since the keyboard comes in handy when I’m typing out a novel in response to whatever bullshit is happening lol. so with work and everything, that usually means I don’t get around to it until the late afternoon/evening most of the time

anyways I know I probably sound bitchy but it’s not really a big deal. but I just wanted to bring this up now, because if and when Horikoshi finally reveals Kacchan’s hero name 17 years from now and I get spoiled on that before I read it, that’ll be a different story lol. I will rampage, guys. or more likely I’ll just learn to turn my asks off on Thursdays and Fridays until the chapter is read! anyways!

-- hold up, quick question, can Toga heal herself by transforming into someone else?? it just occurred to me, and I need to know right this instant

so Kizuki is all “I see, you keep a stock of blood!” and I was like “duh” but then I remembered Kizuki didn’t read the Basement arc. so

well that answers that. shoot

-- except hold up, again! because Spoiled Me knows that’s not actually the case! she can use quirks too! so maybe it can heal her. I mean, this lady didn’t even know until one chapter ago that Toga used blood to transform, so I don’t know where she’s getting all this “I’m well aware!” bullshit from. you don’t know shit

so she’s laughing and mocking Toga and saying she probably just wanted to look cute when she dies

...I mean, I was about to get indignant, but in all honestly why did Toga transform into her though?

so basically she transformed into her because she envies her? is that why she listed her on her list of People She Officially Likes?

but her saying that she wants to get closer to the person she loves makes me think she hasn’t given up. if she’s anything like All Might (you know, because everyone is always comparing Toga to All Might), thinking about Izuku is probably helping motivate her to stay alive!

lol, yep

and oh shit I think the thing is happening!!

holy fucking shit, wait up. I was all “so what, she’s going to float her to death?” and then it all of a sudden occurred to me just how fucking deadly Ochako’s power actually is, which I never thought about before because this deadly power was safely in the hands of the sweetest, kindest girl in existence who’s never tried to use it for anything remotely sinister aside from that one time she tried to crush Bakugou with hundreds of rocks

but like, she could float her all the way out into space, if she wanted! but the much more likely option, especially given that this is a series where falling from things actually hurts, is that she could simply float her up and then fucking splatter her on the ground holy shit

aaaaaaand up she goes!

yeah that’s right lady. “only her appearance changes” my ass

holy shit

SHE’S ALREADY SO HIGH, HOLY FUCK THIS IS TERRIFYING SHE REALLY IS GOING TO DROP HER ISN’T SHE

now she’s running around and tagging all the rest of them too!

holy shit!!!! I can’t! my brain’s going like a mile a minute because not only did Toga just get 1000% deadlier, but Ochako did too, retroactively! and just, so much newfound respect and awe for my girls

HOLY SHIT

SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW??! you seriously never once realized this this entire time??

quirk counseling has failed her in more ways than one. she could have gone to U.A.! she could have made an amazing hero. honestly she still could aside from the fact that she doesn’t want to. (and also, y’know. the murders. and such)

ahhhh now she’s coughing up blood, so I guess that’s a no on the “can she heal” question then

honestly that makes no sense if it only transforms her on the outside. half of the outside is based off of what’s inside! if you’re changing appearances that should mean your entire body transforms. particularly if she can use quirks! it means her DNA is transforming too

but whatever, for the sake of enjoying the story I’ll just shut up about this now though

anyway so Kizuki is all “it can’t be”, just as thousands of villains have said before her, usually immediately after it was incontrovertibly proven to them that Yes It Can Be Though

she’s asking if Ochako’s quirk got stronger just now because of her fear of death

and Toga is all “nope”

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

SHE DID FUCKING SPLATTER HER, HOLY SHIT!? HORIKOSHI “LET’S CHOP OFF ALL FIVE OF HIS FINGERS!�� KOUHEI STRIKES AGAIN

and fucking lol at Toga thinking she’s just like Izuku because her body is all beaten up and dying. :’D Deku you’re such a terrible role model

and so I guess she’s fully on board with Tomura’s whole “destroy everything” plan now, then. well shit. I wonder how quickly they’ll be able to heal her up. what with her being so absurdly powerful all of a sudden, I wonder if her injuries will have a lasting effect on her ability to use her quirk, similar to what happened to Aizawa after USJ. might be a good idea honestly

lastly, “cute is evil” makes absolutely no sense, but damned if I’m not 100% on board with that slogan. just something about it that I like. or maybe it’s just due to the context here, lol. whatever it is, I’d buy a coffee mug with that printed on it

and here we go. so that’s it for new chapters until May 10th or thereabouts. if only there was something coming out in the interim that could tide my superhero cravings over. like a new Avengers movie or some shit. lol

(ETA: I have to hand it to Endgame, it’s done its job distracting me and then some. I’ve seen it twice now and it’s just as devastating the second time! I’m just about finished working my way through the five stages of grief now though, so we’re good. but now that I’m done wallowing, I need my villain arc to come along and cheer me up again. come on Tomura. do your thing boy.)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 226 #toga himiko #uraraka ochako #lol sort of #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #methinks it's time to go back and figure out how many different people's blood toga has collected #the only two I can think of off the top of my head are deku and camie #the latter is probably a non-issue since she only had an infinitesimal amount #and in all likelihood she'd run into the same problem as monoma if she tried to duplicate ofa #camie on the other hand is a whole different can of worms #she could potentially do *so much damage* you guys #and who knows how much blood she has since she had her in captivity for days #this is a potential gamechanger as far as villain plans go #can't wait to see what they get up to after this arc

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heartattack-tm · 6 years ago

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Ch4 Execution: Show You Know!!!

“Wow~❤️ Everyone’s favorite baby!” Kyuu smiled down at all the exchanges of flowers, words, and tears. “As much as I love to watch you all cry we have a gig to get on with.”

She hops up with a big smile to everyone.

“It’s time to say goodbye, Norman Person. It’s show time!❤️❤️❤️“

[tw for a small suicide mention]

🎵 🎵

FLASH!

Lights were finally turned on, startling Norman quite a bit as he blinked a few times to get used to the sudden brightness. It didn’t take long for him to regain his bearings, and… Oh god, how was he tied up so quickly?! The man struggled slightly as his wrists and ankles were bound together. He seemed to be seated behind a contestant podium as he was bound to a chair, and in front of him was a big screen, no content showing as of yet. The interior seemed to be that of a quiz or trivia show, and if only he weren’t piss scared right now, he would be confused. Despite every execution before him finished the job thoroughly, the unfamiliarity made him nervous. Should he be afraid that there weren’t any signs of danger or death, at least not yet, anyway?

Suddenly, the monitor in front of him finally turned on. What was displayed on it was rather simple: big black text that read What is 1+2? In front of white backdrop.

Huh? That was it? They… They were teasing him, weren’t they? They wanted to think that if he answers everything right, then he’ll surely be let go, right? Norman tried to struggle free to no avail. Since his arms and legs were tied with rope, he guessed that he had to answer verbally. “Three.”

Ding ding!

A green checkmark blinked on the monitor. Easy peasy! This challenge was no match for a man with vast knowledge and intelligence! Of course, after he got it right, a new question appeared on the screen.

When was America founded?

“July 4th, 1776.”

Ding ding! He got it right again! The first few questions were relatively simple and easy, but it wasn’t long until the difficulty increased, as well as the questions being delivered more quickly. A few hard math questions came up as well, but just like a calculator, the blond answered them with ease. This was nothing to Norman, however, as he seemed to be dishing out answers as fast as the questions came.

How many calories does the average male burn in a day?

“2,800 calories.”

How much sugar is in a 12 case of coca cola, collectively?

“463 grams.”

Which celebrity was born in Craighton Road, Eltham in 1903?

“Bob Hope.”

In which Woody Allen movie did Madonna play a trapeze artist?

“Shadows and Fog.”

Which country has the fewest trees?

“Vatican City.”

How many countries border Russia?

“Fourteen.”

And they just kept coming, and coming, and coming. And it didn’t seem like it was going to stop, and hell, Norman was okay with that! He was determined-- extremely different than how he was before, and he answered everything like a champ. His expression relaxed a little, not faltering at all. (How cruel, to make something that brings him comfort into a game of death.) Nothing just seemed to make the guy flinch, not even for a second… The questions were getting faster and faster, but not only that, but looks like the theme of them has changed as well…

…Riddles?

Norman gulped. He wasn’t as best at riddles than he was with the previous questions… It involved thinking and each answer depended on how much the individual decided to think outside the box, no? They weren’t factual. They weren’t academic. Riddles can have any answers to them, and the definitive answer really depends on the person asking it… He inhaled and exhaled, hoping he’d get these right, too.

There once was a king who’s heir had died. desperate to find a new heir, he gathers all the village children to perform a simple task in order to see who was worthy: to plant a seed. the king gave every one of the children a seed and a pot of dirt to plant it in, and to come back 5 months later with the pot. 5 months later, all the village children come back with beautiful flowers in their pots, all except for one, a little boy who’s seed has not sprouted at all. Despite this, the king has chosen him to become his new heir. Why was the little boy chosen and not the others?

“B-because er… The king instructed them to plant the seed but not water it. No, its, um… no, because the seeds he gave out weren’t meant to sprout at all. The kids lied…?”

Norman took too much time to think. Time was running out.

A group of five friends decide to visit an abandoned house. Their names are Mary, Daniel, Leroy, Marcus, and Sara. When they make their way to the attic, they find the following: A noose, a knife, an electric chair, a gun, and a vial of poison. They find a note that reads ‘choose your fate–only one can survive.’ Right after reading the note, lightning strikes and all the lights go out. Assuming they choose in order (Mary with the noose and so on), who survives and why?

“The– Leroy, it’s– it’s Leroy because the lightning– it cuts the power! B-but, wait… Marcus has a gun, he doesn’t necessarily need to use it on himself, does he?”

The time kept decreasing.

“He could’ve just used it on Leroy, who couldn’t use the chair…”

The time was shortening.

“So that means Marcus could have survived instead…”

Many-manned scud-thumper, maker of worn wood, shrub-ruster, sky-mocker, rave! Portly pusher, wind-slave.

“Wha–”

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck was 6’ tall and took weight lifting classes?

“H-huh? Wait, you didn’t let me–”

Minus one, minus one, minus one, zero

SHNK

Norman let out a startled and wheezy gasp as a black spear suddenly shot up from the floor, impaling the man. But…

No blood was shed…?

His new wound started to spark and crackle, Norman’s expression growing more anxious as he’d started jerk and twitch unnaturally.

He knew it was coming. He knew it. Then why, why…?

Why was he filled with so much panic?!

He couldn’t have people find out! He DIDN’T want anyone to find out! His struggles started to become more aggressive, desperately trying to break free, trying to forget that everyone now knew he was a fake: fake, fake, fake, fake

He wanted someone, anyone–

But no matter how much he panicked, the questions kept on coming, faster, faster. And the more time he wasted and the more answers he got wrong, the more spears shot through him, and the less time he got to answer anything.

A prisoner is told “If you tell a lie we will hang you; if you tell the truth we will shoot you.” What can he say to save himself? A boy has as many sisters as brothers, but each sister has only half as many sisters as brothers. How many brothers and sisters are there in the family? What is the difference between a school boy studying and a farmer watching his cattle?

They were going too fast!

SHNK, SHNK

He couldn’t answer these! This was unfair! They wouldn’t slow down– they wouldn’t give him time!

SHNK SHNK

You pass someone in the street who is in severe need and you are able to help them at little cost to yourself. Are you morally obliged to do so? You have a brother. You know that someone has been seriously injured as a result of criminal activity undertaken by him. You live in a country where the police and legal system are generally trustworthy. Are you morally obliged to inform them about your brother’s crime? Do you think that assisting the suicide of someone who wants to die - and has requested help - is morally equivalent to allowing them to die by withholding medical assistance (assuming that the level of suffering turns out to be identical in both cases)?

What the hell were these questions now?! He didn’t know the answer to these! One would need a formulated opinion and a steady understanding of morals to answer these, and even then, there would be no right or wrong answer… right?!

“W-WAIT!! I-I DON’T UNDERSTAND, PLEASE–”

You are able to help some people, but unfortunately you can only do so by harming other people. The number of people harmed will always be 10 percent of those helped. When considering whether it is morally justified to help does the actual number of people involved make any difference? For example, does it make a difference if you are helping ten people by harming one person rather than helping 100,000 people by harming 10,000 people? A charity collection takes place in your office. For every UK£10.00 given, a blind person’s sight is restored. Instead of donating UK£10.00, you use the money to treat yourself to a cocktail after work. Are you morally responsible for the continued blindness of the person who would have been treated had you made the donation? Someone you have never met needs a kidney transplant. You are one of the few people who can provide the kidney. Would any moral obligation to provide the kidney be greater if this person were a cousin rather than a non-relative?

“STOP!!!!”

Rip, tear, crackle, sizzle, clank, scrape, screaming, yelling, as deafening as metal dragging along concrete, the feeling of crusty rust and broken pieces in his throat as he was being maimed. He begged and pleaded and screamed as his lagging voice choked out in metallic tones.

At this point, the poor android being nothing but scrap metal, was whimpering as his pathetic, morbid display of a broken and fake human body was for everyone to see, skewered dozens of times. Despite all his loss, despite all the damage he had taken, despite him barely holding onto his man-made consciousness and the fact he couldn’t even feel the physical pain of it all,

He was crying.

Sniveling, sobbing, hiccuping, whimpering, eyes filling up with tears, as well as static…

But in the end… it was just simulated audio to a regular human’s ears.

Feeling… It hurt to feel. Was it worth it? He could feel his code corrupting. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt just like how it did in the lab. It hurt just like when they would fuck up his data. It hurt it hurt it hurt, but there was nothing he could do about it. Not that he could’ve at all, in the first place. Was he just some toy to be messed with? Was the whole project a joke?

Silence danced within the room as Norman quietly mourned to himself, before a small blip broke the deafness.

Hesitantly, Norman looked up to the screen with the last of his strength.

What is your name?

“…Huh?”

His…name? The last question that would end it all… was asking for his name?

Norman stared tiredly at the screen.

What do you want to be named?

Amongst all the errors, a warm, familiar voice wavered in his databases. In his memories.

His name… His name was…

“N… No-o–or… M-my na–a-ame is… N-Norman Perso–”

SHNK.

All at once, many spears struck through his body, the damage now too abundant and fatal for him to keep functioning. And as each and every one of them started to slowly retract, the android fell forward lifelessly over the podium, eyes pitch black.

Wrong answer.

Norman Person Imitamen Persona V6.2 has been executed

#chapter 4 #execution #ha;plot

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kingdomcomefic · 7 years ago

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Little Black Submarines

“Oh, can it be? The voices calling me they get lost and out of time.” A few days had passed since Castiel and Meg had gone to the hospital to take Donatello off life support, posing as Donatello’s niece and her husband. Meg had knowledge of how living wills worked from her time pretending to be a nurse in the mental hospital that Castiel was a patient at for some time, and so she was able to mock up some documents that ensured that his organs would be donated to people who needed them. Meg had put on an air of sadness and she’d accepted the hospital staff’s condolences graciously, but Castiel felt on guard the whole time they had been there. One of the nurses tending to Donatello had noticed how stiff Castiel seemed to have been and she’d smiled kindly at him and said,”We all deal with grief in our own way. It’s okay to be angry with the circumstances that took him from you, but he’s at peace.” When the woman was out of earshot Castiel had leaned down to Meg’s ear and said in a hushed voice, “Can we please leave now?” “Feel like you’re standing on his grave, Clarence?” She’d smirked at him, but then she’d taken his hand and lead him out of the hospital to the 1955 Ford Thunderbird they’d borrowed from the garage in the bunker. Meg had left the top up, but she’d rolled the windows down and they’d ridden back to the meet the boys in silence. Now, Castiel brought his thoughts back to the present. With most of his brothers and sisters dead and gone there wasn’t much chatter over Angel Radio. Occasionally he’d pick up a random blip of communication, but mostly it was silence. It unnerved him. There had been another time, when he was human, that he couldn’t hear what the angels were saying and he’d felt alone. He felt alone now, but the feeling was worse. The silence meant that he was one of the last of his kind. It also meant that if and when a new prophet was called that it would be harder to pick up his location from chatter between his siblings. He stared at the tablet on the table in front of him. “You know, the least you could do is vibrate,” he said to the rock. He sighed and covered his face with his hand. Meg was helping Rowena in the kitchen with a tracking spell to see if they could possibly find the new prophet, if one would even be called. Mary and Bobby were out getting food, and Sam had taken Jack down to the firing range. He thought that it would be useful, if Jack insisted on hunting with them, for him to learn the ins and outs of gun safety and marksmanship. Castiel couldn’t say that he disagreed with him. “Hey,” he heard Meg say as she walked into the library, Rowena not far behind her. “We think we might have found something.” Rowena nodded. “It took some time, but I think that I managed to tweak the ingredients of the tracking spell to find the next prophet,” she said, wincing slightly as she twisted her fingers together. “I’m getting a sense that there’s a complication,” Castiel said.

“The additional ingredients won’t be easy to come by. We need the bone of an angelic vessel and...” Rowena said trailing off. Meg raised her eyebrows at her to continue, but Rowena shot her a desperate look. Meg made a noise of frustration and said, “We need the blood of the previous prophet.” “The bone of an angel might not be hard to locate, but Donatello was cremated. Kevin Tran was given a hunter’s funeral,” Castiel said, shaking his head. “There is no prophet from which to collect any blood.” Meg shrugged slightly, but then her eyes went wide. She turned her head quickly to look at Castiel and said, “Unless there is.” Castiel frowned in confusion for a moment before he caught on to the same thought. “Donatello’s organs were donated. It would be a gamble, but it might work,” he said as he stood. “We should go as soon as we can.” “But how will you know who has the organs? That sort of operation is anonymous, is it not?” Rowena asked. “Yes, it is. The medical records would be sealed, but I know a pretty skilled hacker.” Meg pulled out her phone, selected a contact, and then held the phone to her ear. Rowena raised her eyebrows. “I hope they can get here with some haste.” “As do I,” Castiel said. “We have to find the new prophet first. If Michael can get to him then any hope we might find in that tablet will be lost.” Meg put her hand up. “Easy, okay. He’s local.” “How local?” Castiel asked. “Hey, Sam,” Meg said arching a brow and smiling at the mild exasperation on Castiel’s face. “We may be able to find the prophet. We need you to hack some medical records. Are you around?” She listened for a second and then said goodbye. “He’s on his way up.” Castiel knit his brows together. “You could have just said it was Sam,” he said. “He is proficient with technology. This is good. If this works, we may have a chance,” he said. “Well, you get me the ingredients, I’m going to be preparing the rest of the spell,” Rowena said, heading back to the kitchen. Castiel turned and picked up the tablet. He looked at Meg briefly, before turning his attention back to the object in his hands. “Seems like you and I were here before, doesn’t it?” he asked running a finger over the etched symbols on the stone. “Yeah, something like this,” she said leaning against the table and looking up at his face. “At least you aren’t talking crazy.” “I was incoherent. What I couldn’t accurately convey was that I had found a strange sense of peace. I was euphoric. Sometimes, yes, my thoughts would be confusing and it was hard to make sense of things, but I knew what I was saying. What I was doing. I just wanted to suspend myself and the people important to me in that peace. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way,” he turned and met her eyes. “I meant the things I said.” “There you are, not puttin’ up, again,” she said softly. He considered her for a moment, realizing what she was referring to. “My apologies,” he said leaning down to catch her lips with his own. “Hey, gu--Oh,” Sam said, walking into the library with Jack. “Sorry to...interrupt?” Meg chuckled, and walked back toward the kitchen. “Make it up to me later, Clarence,” she called over her shoulder as she turned down the hall. Castiel set the stone down on the table, and looked to Sam. “Rowena believes that if we can get the bone of an angelic vessel, and the blood of someone who was a prophet that she can modify the locator spell to find the new prophet, if they’ve been called.” Sam held his hands out. “Wow. That’s...that’s amazing news. But, Cas, where are we going to get the blood of a prophet?” Sam asked “Or the bone of an angelic vessel?” Jack added. “The bone of an angel’s vessel should be relatively simple. Many angels have, um...died,” Castiel said quietly, regarding Jack carefully. He didn’t want to pry open healing wounds by mentioning Lucifer or his vessel in front of the boy. “The blood of the prophet will be a little more complicated. We had Donatello’s organs donated. We may be able to try and extract blood from one of the recipients.” “It could work. I’ll hack into the hospital’s records and see what I can find,” Sam said sitting down and setting to work on his laptop. “Once we find the prophet, what then?” Jack asked Castiel, pulling up a seat next to Sam. “They read the tablet, tell us what kind of tablet it is, and then hopefully they can find something in it to stop Michael,” Castiel told him. “Okay,” Sam said, “Looks like they could only use one of Donatello’s organs.” “Well, he didn’t live the healthiest lifestyle,” Castiel said. “Huh, looks like it was his heart,” Sam said. “That’s kind of amazing. His cholesterol had to be through the roof.” “They say there are ordinary miracles,” Castiel droned, rolling his eyes. “And I have the patient’s information. Name’s Rodney Packerton. Looks like he’s in a hospital in Topeka.” He wrote down the address and information on a notepad, then tore the paper off, and he and Jack headed for the garage where the Impala was parked. Castiel stood for a moment listening to the silence on Angel Radio. He sighed and began walking to the stairs down to the garage when one word seemed to sizzle across his connection to the other angels. Prophet! Castiel began to run.

#Kingdom Come Fic #Supernatural Fandom #Supernatural Fanfiction #SPN Fanfiction #Pre-Season 14 #Sam Winchester #Castiel #Jack Kline #Meg 2.0 #Rowena #Post-Season 13 #Meg and Castiel

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jaimistoryteller · 6 years ago

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Sota’s GoFundMe Update Chronicles

I realize that some might wish to be able to read all the updates together, but I don’t want to add them to the previous GoFundMe Post because then it gets to be a bit huge. So I am making this masterpost to keep copies of all his updates beneath the cut.

Sota’s GoFundMe Link

8/20/18

Hello Folks,

I hate to have to ask for help again, but my precious boy is sick and needs to see the vet for a series of tests to see if the medication and special diet he’s been put on to help him is working or not. Any and all help, whether sharing or financial, is appreciated.

For those on twitter, I have a pinned post if you would be kind enough to share, that would be appreciated.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this,

Jaimi

8/21/18 Update

Thank you so much to the people who shared this or have given money towards his medical bills. Currently at 30 dollars. I know at a minimum I will need 450 dollars.

Sota is eating his canned food from the special diet the way the vet was hoping he would. He’s also taking his meds without fighting too much. Both of which are positive signs.

Another positive sign is it is taking his body longer to process water. He’s not just drinking, peeing, drinking more. He seems to be retaining part of it. *fingers crossed*

After realizing the water at my house could be part of the problem, because we live near one of the military bases that is being tested currently, I got some gallon water for my pets, and Sota seems to like it more.

8/22/18

Today’s been a good day for Sota, he’s eaten a can and a half of food, and taken his meds. He was sparky when I tried giving him his shot, and didn’t want to hold still for it.

I am at 60 of the 450 minimum for the next vet appointment, all help is vastly welcome and appreciated!

8/23/18

Thank you so much to all you wonderful people for helping me get to 105 dollars. I know without you all giving and sharing, it never would have happened! Sota is being very feisty today! I am excited to report that he is drinking, eating and litter boxing properly. He spent almost an hour playing for the first time in weeks! Of course, he spent four hours napping afterwards, but I still count it as a win. Thank you all so much. I am hopeful the blood work will show positive results.

8/26/18 Update

There’s been no new improvements today, but he’s stable, for which I am thankful, and he took his meds with very little fighting, only some cat glaring.

Still trying to get to the 450, right now at 105 on here, 20 on paypal, and 20 cash from an craft fair. That puts me at 145 of the 450. There’s still a few weeks left, but I’d like to have the money at least four days a head of time, so I can transfer it over and know it will be available when I go to the vet.

Thank you once more to everyone who has shared or donated, it means more than words can express.

8/28/18 Update

Sorry I didn’t update yesterday, I wasn’t feeling good and wasn’t online much.

For the most part Sota seems to have stabilized. He’s not a fan of meds but takes them without arguing, his special diet is hit or miss however. Sometimes he eats it no problems, other times he argues with me about it.

Thank you to everyone who has shared in some form or donated. I am still working on building up the funds for his appointment on September 19th, so if you could keep sharing that is greatly appreciated.

8/30/18 Update

I hope you are well.

Sota is eating and drinking properly but doesn’t want to take his shot, which is tricky. He needs the shot but is being stubborn. At least he takes his daily meds without arguing!

There has been no changes in how much I have raised. Any and all reblogs, shares on twitter or facebook, are vastly appreciated!

9/3/18 Update

Yesterday I did the craft fair, which ended up only adding five dollars to my over all amount of money for Sota cause I had to get ink to print some new business cards. Hopefully those cards will help people come my way.

That said, he’s still responding to medication. Today’s been a stubborn day, where he doesn’t want to take it, but he needs to. Thankfully, he’s at least not being stubborn with his food today.

Please continue sharing so the chances of hitting the 450 needed for his vet visit on the 17th.

9/4/18 update

Besides saying that Sota ate his food without argument and took his meds without arguing, I don’t really have anything to update.

Still at the same point for the GoFundMe, please continue to share. If you could also share it on twitter and Facebook that’d be vastly welcome and I would be massively grateful.

9/10/18 update

Sorry it’s been a few days since I last updated. I’ve been sick, so I went to the doctor who put me on antibiotics that just happen to make me sleep. A lot.

Sota’s doing well on the meds and special food, he even seems to have put some of the weight he lost back on.

A wonderful anon donated 500 dollars, which pays for the visit on the 17th and starts towards his October visit. I am grateful beyond words to said anon, as I was fretting about how I was going to raise the rest of the money since it had been a few days since anyone had donated.

I am thankful to all of you, those who have donated or shared in some form. You are all amazing.

I politely request that you all continue to share, since I know he will need an appointment in October as well.

9/12/18 Update

Sota’s doing better it seems. He ate an entire can of cat food and let me give him his meds with no arguing.

It’s less then a week before his next appointment. I am hoping that it goes well. That the improvements I am noticing are real and not just the meds controlling the symptoms.

Thank you all to everyone who has shared this in some form, donated, or wished Sota well. I ask that you continue to do so. Take care,

9/15/18 Update

Thank you for all of the support, life went insane on me again, because apparently that’s a thing.

Sota has done well for the most part today, he had an upset stomach earlier, but I think that’s cause he was eating the wrong food, and it didn’t settle well. He took his meds well, for which I am thankful.

Monday is his vet appointment to check whether the meds and food change are actually helping or not. I am hoping they really are and will post an update then.

Please continue to share, thank you for everything,

9/17/18 Update

I was going to update earlier but ended up napping with Sota after my nerves stopped jittering. Today was his vet appointment. I am happy to report that it went well.

He hasn’t improved, which wasn’t surprising, but he hasn’t got worse, and that’s the important part. He’s stable.

There was a small adjustment to his medication and diet based on the tests we got today.

He gets to go back in October for another round of tests. Hopefully after that I will be able to switch to every three months instead.

As of this moment his food and medication will be 50 dollars a month plus tax, for the rest of his life, but he will be a healthy, happy, and pain free cat.

Thank you to everyone who has shared or donated, if you could continue to do so, that’d be appreciated, just in case something surprise comes up. I will be adjusting the amount to include his medication for the rest of the year.

9/21/18

The last test results from the last round of testing just came back, while the first three were good/neutral, the fourth test was bad. So there will be another medication added to his diet.

As such, I will be adjusting the total to add the new meds and the testing needed to make sure that it is working.

Please continue to share. Thank you to everyone who has helped in some manner.

9/24/18

I had intended to do an update yesterday, but ended up pain sleeping instead, the joys of chronic pain.

I got Sota's new medication, he is not thrilled to have to take a pill every day, but I think I got a system worked out for it.

He' still eating his special food, though he's becoming a bit of a social eater, and refuses to eat if I am not. I almost think this is his way of making sure I keep eating, since I keep forgetting.

Please continue to share this across the different social networks, all help is appreciated. You peeps are wonderful.

9/26/18

Sota's been on a new medication for the last five days. Since starting it, he seems to want more food, which is an excellent sign. He's also retaining fluids bit better, another excellent sign.

Unfortunately, I had some company the other day, and they introduced fleas to my house. As I would like to keep them from infecting all the cats, and Sota in particular as they drink blood and kidney problems cause a reduced blood making ability, I am going to be adding the cost of getting rid of them to the overall amount trying to raise.

9/29/18

Sota has now been on his new meds a complete week. They appear to be helping. While he is not hungry for the first hour after he takes them, he does get hungry after that.

At this minute I have 180 of the 450 needed for the next vet visit on October 15th. I don’t have any of the money for the flea medication and house cleaning supplies to kill eggs.

It’s been suggested I make an amazon list, so here it is: Amazon List: Sota

Please keep sharing this across the various social medias as a way to raise awareness and get it to people who can help further. Thank you so much!

10/1/18

Sota’s seems to still be stable, thankfully. Sometimes he eats his cat food without arguing with me, other times I have to mix baby food with it, to encourage him to eat it. He’s taking his meds without problems, for which I am thankful.

As a wonderful peep bought several of the flea killing items off the amazon list, I was going to take that part off the over all amount to raise. Unfortunately, one of the tires on the car I take to the vet popped today, so it’s staying on there, because now I have to get the tire fixed before I go to the vet on the 15th.

I wish to say thank you to all the wonderful people who have helped fund his vet appointments and to those who keep sharing so peeps can do so.

10/5/18

I don’t have too much to say today. Sota’s been taking his meds, mostly without argument, though he’s not a fan of his shots. He’s eating his special food without argument, even asking for it now!

There hasn’t been any donations in the last few days. So I am still at 180 dollars of the 450 needed for the next round.

Please, please, please keep sharing this. There is only ten days until the next vet appointment, which means 8 days for the money to process so I have it when I get there.

10/10/18

Sota's been eating, though sometimes not as easily as I'd like, we play the 'what flavor food do you want today?' game quite often and he sometimes switches mid-meal to a different flavor.

He takes his meds without issues, and we've gotten to the point where he is no longer trying to run away as I give him the sub-q into his shoulders thankfully enough.

Right this moment I am 200 shy of what's needed for his next appointment. I realize this is going on the third month of asking for help, it's still desperately needed, please share this across the various platforms so new individuals may see it and the chances of hitting the goal.

10/12/18

Not a lot of major changes to report.

I got Sota and my other cats some new hard food, one that will be better for Sota for the days when he wants to eat it instead of his special food. He's rather pleased by this, thankfully it was the same price as the food they were on, so that helps the budget.

Due to things outside my control, I am still 200 dollars short, and the appointment is Monday. Please, please, please, share this on the various social medias. I know he's a cat, but he helps me cope with my depression, comforts me when my pains really high, and reminds me of how to function.

Thank you to each who have donated or shared it already, any more sharing is appreciated more then words can express.

#Sota's GoFundMe #Masterlist of Updates #signal boost #catblr #petblr

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katiesrunning · 7 years ago

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Health Care Spotlight: Kendall

This is a segment of the blog that I am incredibly excited to introduce to all of you.

In this post and in similar posts once a month, I will be featuring individuals who desperately need their health care to survive.

I am a few days behind, but I had no idea exactly what it would take to put a post like this one together and, now that I know, I will be more prepared.

So, let’s get started.

This is Kendall.

Kendall loves his dog, Penny.

Kendall is happily married.

Kendall enjoys playing video games, watching TV, reading science fiction and spending time at home. Though, when he was younger, he enjoyed having many friends, now that he is older, he enjoys the company of smaller, more intimate groups. He would choose the comfort of his own home over the noise and chaos of a bar or club.

“I'm an optimistic and positive person,” he says,”but you might say I have a short fuse. I'm very much a Libra and have always identified with the balance and the need to help and lead. I've always been a leader, and frankly I don't do well in subordinate positions. But I make do.”

Kendall attended college and studied political science, stage management and acting. Finances eventually got in the way, however, and he did not complete his degree. Though he tells himself (and others) that he will get back into it one day, “I don't know. More and more I don't see it as worth it, as expensive as everything is. Anyways, my husband has an MBA so we'll hopefully be fine. I really enjoy theatre but it's been years since I felt the drive or need to work backstage. It might be a hobby I used to have that I hold on to, despite not truthfully being interested anymore. ”

Side note: I feel you, Kendall. This is a fascinating phenomenon for me - the way humans hold on to things that used to bring them joy whether they continue to do so or not. The nostalgia and the fascination there once was combine to make us feel like the object is still providing us with everything we need from it. Yet, we leave work, rehearsal, class, etc. some days feeling empty and wonder why. I struggle with this often. I imagine we all do - as, in some cases, we have identified ourselves using the object to describe who we are. I love that Kendall describes himself here as someone who loves theatre, but admits openly that it may not be him anymore. It’s beautiful and honest.

This is Kendall.

Kendall was diagnosed with HIV on January 3rd, 2014.

This is Kendall.

“I've definitely come to terms with it. It wasn't too difficult, because I've always had a very solid support system. My friends, family, and romantic relationship. My boyfriend at the time I was diagnosed was toxic and hellish towards the end, but he was always supportive of me and my diagnosis.

I was actually diagnosed at first at C-Street at CUPHD mobile testing facility. Since that is a rapid test, once it came up positive, I had to get the real test - the 2 week wait test.”

“So after I waited two weeks, they called me, and I avoided going in. Honestly, I spent the next two weeks reading about people who are inherently immune to HIV, some super-Aryan people in Europe or something. I always thought of my heritage as super white and super English, so I'd convinced myself I was gonna get rich - that my blood was the cure. It was dumb but it was better than sitting there stewing for two weeks.”

Kendall avoided receiving his diagnosis for two more weeks. Laws prohibit doctors from giving you your diagnosis over the phone since some patients react - understandably - rash upon receiving it. When he finally went in to get his diagnosis, he was lucky enough to be accompanied by his sister as well as by his best friend.

Fast-forward to four months later - he began Anti-Retroviral Treatment (ARV). Though his numbers weren’t bad, he and his doctor decided it was best to avoid waiting.

He took Atripla first. Atripla is known for being very good when you are first starting treatment. However, after prolonged use, it can cause damage in your liver and kidneys. So, three years later, in 2017, Kendall switched to Odefsey. Both drugs can have crazy side-effects - including dizziness, crazy dreams, weight loss/gain, etc.

In regards to these side effects, Kendall states that he has been very lucky, “ Thankfully I only ever experienced one side effect once. I woke up one night, around 2am, and I felt like I'd been spinning for hours - I was so dizzy I fell back onto the bed. Honestly, I woke up the next morning and thought it was a dream, and it was not a negative experience, but I'm glad it's been the only occurrence of any side effects.”

Other long term side-effects can include losing fat in the arms and legs, gaining weight in the upper back, harming organs later in life and heart-disease. While Kendall states that he worries about these side-effects as well, he has enough on his plate already. Aside from being HIV+, he also takes medication for high blood pressure and wears a mask when he sleeps so that he doesn’t stop breathing (a common treatment for those who have sleep apnea).

“I'm basically a mess, but I also rarely get sick otherwise - no flu, colds, headaches - maybe because, after so many years of ARVs, my T-Cells are very high. Who knows.”

Odefsey (a daily perscription) costs Kendall $88 a day - $2640 a month. He stated that Atripla was cheaper, but not by much. This medication treats merely one of his afflictions.

As part of his treatment, Kendall sees his doctor once a year and must have blood work completed at least 11 days beforehand, “and it has to be Monday through Thursday, which sometimes I forget, and then have to reschedule.” The blood work is particularly expensive - costing him right around $400. Usually his insurance has covered this, but there have been a couple instances where he has paid this bill out of pocket.

He also sees his case worker at CUPHD once a year.

Unfortunately, Kendall’s current employer does not offer insurance, so his coverage is through the AHCA - costing him roughly $275 a month. This is the cheapest plan with the worst coverage. The upside is that paying for this coverage allows him to be eligible for various grants, co-pays and other helpful resources when it comes to his meds, visits and lab-work.

If he is able to get his hands on better insurance, Kendall states that CUPHD is capable of covering his monthly premiums. Unfortunately, they won’t cover the $275 that he is paying now, because it is “basically worthless.”

Despite all of this information that Kendall is constantly swimming in, there are bright spots.

One of his close friends posted a GoFundMe for Kendall last month during the lapse between his insurance coverage (he left one job and his coverage through the AHCA didn’t go live until January). Not only had his assistance programs expired, but he had also waited too long to receive assistance from his case worker - someone he had just switched to. During this time, he purchased about $1200 worth of Odefsey over the course of two weeks - going in every two or three days and hoping his coverage would kick in soon.

His parents, grandparents and cousins all donated to the GoFundMe to help Kendall purchase a supply of his daily medicine. Now that his meds have been covered, he has used the GoFundMe money to purchase an extra month’s supply of them, so that he is always a month ahead in case the same situation should occur. He is incredibly grateful to the friends and family who supported him in his time of need - and every day.

A figure from Kendall’s Walgreens bills states that the insurance he had between January and September of last year saved him $32,468.93. Yes, for those of you in the back (over the course of an entire year) that coverage would save him the cost of some American’s yearly salary.

Kendall’s husband takes PrEP (Truvada) daily to prevent being infected. He also has a yearly appointment at CUPHD. His pills cost him $66.80 per day - $2004.90 per month.

This is Kendall.

Kendall’s health is very important to him. On one of his arms, he has seven tattoos that are dedicated to his health conditions.

“Most of my tattoos on my health arm are by Keith Haring. He died of complications from AIDS and was a big activist in the fight against HIV/AIDS in NYC in the 80s. He died in 1990.”

He is in the process of planning more.

In fact, when I first asked him about his HIV diagnosis, he stated “I was diagnosed 1/3/14. I have it tattooed on my arm. Wait. No I don't. Just typed that, looked, and saw it was a lie. Well, I will have it tattooed on me.”

And, remember Penny?

She was a big part of Kendall’s coming to terms with his diagnosis. He adopted Penny the November before he was diagnosed. During this time, Kendall stated that he would often be at home, feeling alone but that Penny would come around and always made him feel better - feel loved.

This is Kendall.

This is the life of someone who, without insurance, would be choosing between living and dying every day.

This is Kendall.

Kendall has a right to coverage that will keep him alive and well.

This is Kendall.

Those of you who have been following my running might know that I have a GoFundMe as well. It is dedicated to raising money for Planned Parenthood - a company that provides affordable healthcare to those in need. The link is listed below. Please donate to help protect our right to affordable healthcare.

No one should have to choose between health and life.

http://www.gofundme.com/katie-runs-2018

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thebbfanaticsforum · 5 years ago

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Welcome Everyone to The Point! The Point is where I, the BB Fanatic, will get down to The Point with either your favorite former & current Big Brother houseguests or your favorite former & current Sequester players about many various topics including there own season(s), if they watched the most recent season(s) & their thoughts on it as well as & especially what they are doing now in their life. It is now time to get down to The Point with one of your soon to be favorite Sequester Players, and someone who I personally am not only rooting on like I said in my interview w/ Deana Bauer, but picking as the winner of Sequester season 3, the one and only Kimberley Ford!

The BB Fanatic - First off Kimberley, Thank you for agreeing to do this interview with me. You honestly are my pick to win this upcoming season which starts November 3rd at 8 pm est. Now unlike other interviews you may do this one will focus on you as a person & player. First off, how did you hear about Sequester? What made you interested in Sequester itself & what was your strategy going in after you found in you were cast?

Kimberley Ford - Thank you so much for reaching out! I enjoy interacting with fans online! Thank you so much for choosing me as your pick to win and I hope I do you proud.

I began hearing about sequester a couple years ago during the online games. I applied to be on an online season and was selected but unfortunately timing didn’t work out with family obligations. So I have been very interested in participating in one of the live seasons and applied for season 3! Audrey has been phenomenal as a producer and is nothing short of amazing!

What made me interested in sequester was the competitiveness, the fast pace and the sheer luck factor of some of the competitions! I thrive when I am challenged in situations which makes sense as I am an operating room nurse and love the adrenaline rush of not knowing what is coming at you during a trauma!

My strategy going into the house is to deflect the threat off of me. I am a very social and outgoing woman so I knew making connections wouldn’t be hard. I want to hide the fact that I am a former freestyle amateur wrestler and involved in pro wrestling currently because I don’t want people to assume I am a physical threat. I also am extremely good at puzzles and have a great intuition and ability to read people so I also want to deflect that skill from me. I also am a former Mrs Calgary and Mrs Alberta so I want to have someone attractive on my side as well. Therefore my plan is to get a big strong man, a nerd, and a beautiful person in an alliance with me so I can deflect the threat off of me and know that those people will also connect with different populations in the house so we can divide and conquer!

The BB Fanatic - We can't talk about what happened yet cause it won't premiere until November 3rd at 8 pm est but what we can do is ask more about you & you are many things. A Sequester player of course, as well as a Registered Nurse, an abstract painter, & my favorite thing on your resume, professional wrestler! You have watched wrestling since you were 7 or 8 years old. Was there anything or anyone from your childhood that made you in awe & want to be like that particular wrestler when you got into the business?

Kimberley Ford - Absolutely! I am EXTREMELY passionate about wrestling. It is in my blood. My parents always had wrestling on in our home and we watched stampede wrestling, WCW, and WWF almost every week. When a family friends son wanted to go watch my dad took us both. I remember a cage match between Bret and Owen hart and a ladder match between Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels. I fell. In. Love. With. Wrestling. I knew at that point I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. My parents didn’t want me to waste my life and knew I had potential to graduate university so I wanted to please them and completed my bachelor of nursing degree and started working in the field. But the passion for wrestling never stopped. I got married and had my son and life’s priorities changed. Now that my son is older I am able to pursue my wrestling career knowing that I have my education to fall back on. I know I may never make it to the WWE but at least I am following my childhood dreams and not many people have the drive to do that. Long story short, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels were huge inspirations for me. Shawn’s charisma and Bret’s skill.

The BB Fanatic - Reason I brought that up so soon is I wanted to tie your wrestling background into your Sequester game. Do you think your wrestling background is something going into Sequester that helped you. Sequester has battles, and lets face it, if its a physical battle they are in trouble, & as smart as you are, if its a mental battle, they are in trouble. So did your physical strength help your confidence in preparing for Sequester Season 3?

Kimberley Ford - My physical strength is obviously and attribute that will help me in physical competitions. I want to keep that a secret so if people challenge me to a battle match they will be shocked and devastated in my strength. Also it will be great to build my resume for jury with the physicality. I have always been a very confident woman and I think competing in wrestling teaches you to have faith in yourself. Competing in pageants definitely helped build more confidence and stage presence and being a pro wrestler you have to be extremely confident going out to that ring and performing as you have to trust your opponent and they have to trust you.

The BB Fanatic - This question is always set aside for something special. Something fun. I want to head back to the topic of you being an abstract painter. I am a huge fan of art. I think the creativity it takes and just what a person can come up with due to their mind, their heart & their soul is beautiful! What started your love for painting. Did you always want to focus on abstract painting or was there another form of painting that you tried before hand?

Kimberley Ford - I have been drawing since I was very little. When I was 4 years old and in kindergarten my teachers just fostered that talent. I have a painting of a pumpkin from that year which my mother hung on the window as a Halloween decoration. My mom was offered money to put it in an art gallery. I’m self taught and it comes naturally to me. I am actually a very good portrait artist in pencil, I have only started abstract painting seriously since 2005. I love creating and the pride that comes from displaying what the mind can do. My son has inherited a lot of my artistic ability and I can’t wait to see what he accomplishes in life!

The BB Fanatic - Now before we close out this interview I want to give you the floor to talk about anything you want in regards to Sequester or your job, your career in wrestling or anything you stand behind & are a advocate of? Whatever you would like to talk about you can say right here right now, the floor is yours & once again Thank you Kimberley!

Kimberley Ford - Thank you so much again for reaching out, what I would love to close with are the causes I am very passionate about: infertility awareness and special needs funding.

I was a part of a charitable foundation called Generations of Hope which provides funding for families that would otherwise be unable to afford treatment to have children. I believe that your socio-economic status should not determine if you are fit to parent. I unfortunately had medical issues that prevented me from conceiving naturally and I have no issues talking about it because I think awareness of pregnancy loss and infertility is the first step to realizing there is a problem and a need for funding. So if you would like to donate you can see what the foundation is about at www.gensofhope.com

In 2017 we raised $120,000 which means many families were able to have children and that means the world to me as my son is a miracle and going to do incredible things in this world.

My son has special needs and has faced many challenges in schooling in his young life. He was expelled for being different, bullied, and emotionally traumatized by his initial experiences. Having him assessed and diagnosed appropriately and advocating for him and his education has been a full time job for the last 3 years. Finally he has been integrated into a regular classroom this year and excelling but only due to teachers, educational aides, behavioural therapists, and a principal who has been down the same path as us to show us what is possible and where and how to advocate. Thank god for teachers and educators who truly love what they do and see the potential in children. Please support your local school system!!

We are all in for a crazy ride this season on sequester and the fans are going to LOVE THIS SEASON!!!

#Kimberley #Kimberley Ford #Sequester #Sequester Access #Wrestler #CWE #Wrestling #Professional Wrestler #Artist #Nurse #Hot Robin #Vince Russo #Professional Wrestling #LOS

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magioftheseas · 4 years ago

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Scar To Burden

For @badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Scar to Remember taken from here.

Rating: T+

Warnings: Body horror, mental instability, messiness. Yes.

Notes: It was also part of an art trade of sorts. Because it’s canon Matsun, it ended up a little vent-y. Waaaaah. I should write more MatsuHina. We need more danganronpa zero + super danganronpa 2 content in general.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

“If you’re gonna keep staring at it,” Matsuda griped. “You might as well just take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

Hinata froze immediately, fingertips lingering on his head scars. In the reflection, he sees Matsuda huff. Sees him stride close, clapping a hand on his trembling shoulder.

“What’s up?” Matsuda asked coldly, leaning in and pressing up against him, sending chills down his spine. “The hell is with that stupid fucking face?”

Matsuda’s thumb presses against the scar, right above Hinata’s ear, where Matsuda’s touch had lingered before.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

The specter snorts, crossing his legs the way the living Matsuda Yasuke so often did. Hinata tries not to let his gaze trail from the other’s face, not to the legs fading out to nothing and certainly not to the chest under Matsuda’s crossed arms, which looked like it had been stomped in. Over and over. But rather than the expected blood and gore, it was faded around the edges, as if the being were just a wax replica. Except wax didn’t huff at him like that.

“Don’t tell me you’d rather I was someone else,” Matsuda sneezed. “Upset I’m not your stupid fucking girlfriend? God, don’t tell me you’d prefer Junko.”

“Absolutely not,” Hinata snapped, bristling. “It’s just—why now?”

“Dunno.” In typical Matsuda fashion, he was just shrugged at like he wasn’t worth a second longer of thought. “Just felt like it. It’s super fucking boring being dead, y’know. I can only read over people’s shoulders. I can’t eat. I can’t even sleep. Sucks. So fucking bad. Makes me wish necromancy was a talent, not gonna lie.”

Hinata did feel Kamukura Izuru stir inside him. Whether with curiosity or something else, Hinata steeled himself against it.

He’s gone. Matsuda’s gone. That he’s even here is probably just—

“You think I’m an hallucination,” Matsuda droned. “I’m not. Ask me a question, fucker. I’ll prove it.”

“Proof?” Hinata had to laugh at that, mirthlessly as it was. “Like what?”

“Your stupid fucking boyfriend? He’s with the meathead coach right now. Being lugged about like a particular sad sack of potatoes after collapsing during a jog.” Matsuda shows his teeth. “That sniveling not-quite-nurse will be treating him by the time you rush over.”

Komaeda isn’t—

Hinata got up immediately.

(To his utter despair, Matsuda was completely right. He didn’t even know what to say in between Komaeda swearing that he was alright and apologizing for the trouble as Tsumiki insisted she was doing well in treating him, don’t worry, don’t worry, why do you look so pale, Hinata-san, y-you look like you’ve seen a ghost—)

Despite clearly keeping tabs on everyone there, Hinata doesn’t see Matsuda tailing anyone else. Hell, he doesn’t even see Matsuda outside of his cottage. He wonders if Matsuda can control whether or not he’s seen, and he’s too disturbed to ponder it.

This, unfortunately, doesn’t stop Kamukura Izuru, which makes Hinata feel all kinds of skin-crawlingly disgusting. Makes him also want to claw out his skull, to rip the stitches open if he could.

“Jeez, what’s up your rectum?”

What do you fucking think, Matsuda? Rather than spit out the words, Hinata glares at the ghost over his shoulder. He’s trying to read a book Sonia lent him—but of course Matsuda’s too damn clever to buy into the ruse.

“You look constipated,” Matsuda pointed out, cutting through him with such ease. Always capable of cutting through him with well-practiced fingers and an even more skillfully sharp tongue. “You’re so fucking obvious about it, too.”

Hinata wanted to seethe, but willed himself to keep a straight, unimpressed face.

“Boring read, huh,” Matsuda droned, reflecting that same expression back. “Is it because it’s predictable or because it’s just not to your taste?”

“It’s...” Hinata bit back the word boring. His temper flared, and he forced that back down as well for good measure. “It’s hard to focus on anything when you’re breathing down my neck. In a manner of speaking.”

The dead man—boy, really, Matsuda fucking died before he reached adulthood—just quirked an eyebrow at him. The corner of his lips curled into a truly ugly smirk, accompanied by a snort.

“A manner of speaking!” Matsuda rose his voice to an annoyingly nasal high-pitched tone. “Isn’t that book about a fucking doctor who plays god?” He blows past before Hinata can think twice, flipping the pages furiously. “You didn’t even get to the best part! Look here!”

He brandishes it with mock theatrics and a sneer.

“They shove him back,” Matsuda intones, voice low and grave. “Down, down, down he went. They watch him fall. He, who built them, who built up everything—he who looked so much smaller when splattered to bits.”

Hinata said nothing. He just waited until Matsuda fizzled.

“You piece of shit.” Matsuda still got out one last mirthless chuckle. “You’ve already read it, huh? You fucking started fiddling with it, knowing I’d get fucking curious about it. You knew, you knew, you knew.”

Hinata didn’t say anything to that, either.

“Was it satisfying?” Matsuda hissed. “Was it cathartic? Watching that bitch not only fall to pieces but also give up?”

“She was content, Matsuda.” Hinata simply brushed him off. “She was satisfied with the outcome.”

Matsuda’s form simmers with so much anger that it blurs his edges and especially blurs his expression. Like this, you might not even be able to tell that the once neurologist was in tears. What grew especially jagged from these distortions was the gaping maw in his chest.

Despite looking less and less like a once-person, this being couldn’t be further from dissipating completely. Hinata could hear his own heartbeat, and what a wretched sound that was in this utter, tumultuous silence.

“...sorry,” he finally whispers, just for something new. Just to keep himself from trying to dig his nails into his scar. The ghost reshapes itself, only slightly. It drifts close, and Hinata sucked in his breath. “I’m sorry, Matsuda, I... I-I just...”

Matsuda’s fingertips, practiced and cold and gentle as always, brush against his forehead scars.

“You’re unbearable to look at with this,” Matsuda murmured as Hinata’s breath ended up hitching. Like this, like this, the ghost of the guy who helped ruined him really did look like quite the dream.

“You think?” he couldn’t help but ask. “The lines were clean. The stiches tidy. Evenly spaced apart.” Those cold fingers curled against his jaw, and he just leans into that deathly touch. “It’s a work of art, isn’t it? On the outside and the inside.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Rather than with fire or ice, Matsuda’s words are airy and weightless. “Don’t say such creepy bullshit.”

When Hinata does reach up to grip the other’s hand, he phases right through. Because, obviously he does.

Obviously.

“Have you seen anything strange lately?”

“Mm? You’ll have to be more specific.” Komaeda, when perked up and bright-eyed, is especially alert. “Has something happened, Hinata-kun?”

“No.” The lie comes so easily it’s despicable. “I was just asking.”

I’m not the only person that Matsuda’s looking after.

“It’s a strange question,” Komaeda said, cajoling. Hinata still doesn’t bite, even when Komaeda seems serious. “Nothing happened at all?”

“Something is always happening,” he pointed out. “There is no need for suspicion over a simple question.”

“Hahaha. Oh, Hinata-kun. When did you get so unbearable?”

When, indeed?

Somehow, even if he wanted to, he wasn’t sure he’d know how to answer. Maybe he’s always been this way. Maybe he’s only like this because he got on a table and let a guy his own age cut open his skull under the slimy supervision of a farcical medical staff. That same guy had been—

Not...nice. Once upon a time. But, maybe, just maybe, they had a relationship close to being friends. Matsuda would smack him with books and demand food. Would often drag him off-campus and distract him from everything for a good hour. Matsuda was grumpy and abrasive, absolutely not the kind of person he’d normally want to associate with. He was cruel, too, up until Hinata finalized the contract.

It was only after the stupid simulation that Hinata realized that Matsuda never wanted any of this. That Matsuda did care, especially in the way he made the procedure swift and simple...and especially in the way he’d stare at his head scars with the most pained eyes.

How boringly simple Matsuda Yasuke always was. It’s no wonder he had so many regrets.

“If you do see something, let me know,” Hinata said. “I’ll take care of it.”

Komaeda gives him a look, and Hinata wonders about Matsuda’s regrets involving him. Involving damn near everyone in the class that Enoshima Junko got her claws into.

Selfishly, I don’t...

“I don’t want you to worry about them. They’re my responsibility now.”

“Mmhm,” Matsuda hummed, unconvinced as he draped himself over the bed. He was playing with the pages of a manga that Hinata purposefully left out. “Possessive, are you? Fucked up.”

“I’m the one with this.” Hinata tapped his scar. “This is all that remains of you after the simulation was forcibly shut down.”

“Maybe that’s why you can see me,” Matsuda muttered, sounding wholly disinterested. “And here I just fucking thought Kamukura Izuru was an Ultimate Medium or something.”

Kamukura Izuru was. However, Hinata has no intention of being the same.

“I want to be the only one that has to deal with the burden of your memory. You’re right. I’m possessive.”

“Just like her.” Matsuda sneered at him, pointing to where his own heart would be if it hadn’t been stomped to dust. “You’re a piece of work, alright.”

“That’s thanks to you.”

Matsuda chuckles softly under his breath. It’s not just mirthless, it’s downright miserable. His form flickers, too. Hinata idly rubs over the swollen scar tissue, gaze not leaving the other for a second.

“Take a picture,” Matsuda says, flat and irritated. “It’ll last longer.”

I’ll keep this image just as I’ve kept your marks and memory.

#Magi fics #bad things happen bingo #yasuke matsuda #hajime hinata #bad things bingo

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