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amazingphilza · 4 years ago

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maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

#idk whether to actually call this platonic but it’s not exactly romance so #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit fanfic #tommyinnit imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #mcyt fanfic #mcyt imagine

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cheyentjj · 4 years ago

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Carnival

Sebastian Stan x oc Ali

Warnings: ehm...none i think, some heated kisses and hints toward sexy times but that’s it.

A/n: still fairly new to the whole writing side of things,so bare with me. Wrote this on my phone so please forgive any mistakes.the picture inspired the story.

Let me know what you think!

Thank you @foodieforthoughts for ones again listening to my rambling and encouraging me to write it down!

“...but yeah, Costa Rica was good” the blonde finished the story of her latest adventure.

A slight breeze sweeping through the highlighted pixie. Still not used to the short length She let her fingers sweep through the locks.

“It suits you.” Sebastian pointed to her head. “I don’t know what happened to” gesturing to the entirety of her body,”but it suits you.”

She looked up in his baby blues, the lights of the carnival around them reflecting so beautifully in them. It was like all the colors, blue,red,white,green, they all strengthened the cerulean of his orbs.

Her cheeks heated up with his complement, his strong gaze making her look away.

Sebastian has been her friend for years. She would absolutely do anything to make him happy. A year ago though she realised her feeling for him might actually mean more to her than they did to him. Every touch,gaze,second spend with him made her heart race. She had tried to figure out whether he may have harboured the same feelings towards her, but when he had come home with a new girlfriend she knew she had to take a step back.

Dont get her wrong. She was happy for him. She would always be happy for him as long as he was. But seeing him with another woman, one as gorgeous as she was. Everything she was not.

The girl had been tall, long legs that went on for miles in all her designer dresses. Her chestnut mane always brushed to perfection.

Not Ali. She was usually wearing either workout clothes or something comfortable, like plain jeans and a good hoodie. Her boring hair usually placed on top of her head in a messy bun. If you could even call it that.

She worked out together with seb for years. They both went to Don for the best workout in town. That’s how they met. But following along with his workouts meant she was in pretty good shape. She had some cushion to her, her behind rounder than average. She was strong and she knew it. But god forbid, she would never give up her dessert.

But seeing him with her, it hurt. That’s when the decision was made to start working somewhere far away. At First it really was to get away from Sebastian and his ‘babe’, but after a month she found that it helped her relax in more ways than one. She rediscovered herself. Working in animal shelters all over the world, five countries, living in those countries. Had changed her outlook on life. Changed her.

For the better, she believed.

Now one year later, stood in the city that never sleeps once again. She had thought that after a year away from him she surely wouldn’t have this silly crush on him anymore...yet every action tonight seemed to prove her wrong.

Both Seb and Don, along with Don’s wife and kids, had waited for her at the airport, immediately bombarding her with questions about all the places she had seen. If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought she hadn’t heard of them in a year. Truth be told, she called them every week. Updating them on her working and living arrangements.

“Alisceon?”

She moved her gaze to the oh so handsome face of the man next to her.

Only then realising his hand was softly placed on her lower back. Breath hitching for just a fraction of a second.

“W...what?” Clearing her throat “sorry I didn’t hear you.”

“I realised you dosed of for a good couple of minutes. Been trying to get you attention.”he smiled. Damn that gorgeous grin.”what was it like? Away from home for so long.” His eyes looked sad somehow. “You didn’t even come back for one day”

“I...” she couldn’t explain. That would mean telling him about her feelings and he was just too good a friend to risk that.

“I just couldn’t, seb.”

Tears started to well up and curses were quietly uttered. First from her mouth but soon his as well.

Before she even knew it his hand was place on her cheek. Oh so softly. Absentmindedly leaning into the touch, she looked into his touch.

“I know, Ali. I’m so sorry.” His thumb wiping at the one year that stubbornly escaped.

His eyes darting all over her face. Her eyes, her lips. Eyes...lips. He leaned in, ever so slowly.

Somewhere in the back of her head she could hear her inner voice telling her to breathe. Her lungs slightly burning from the lack of oxygen they were getting. Her eyes looking, staring really, at his slightly parted lips.

Right before his lips landed on hers he looked into her eyes again. She knew he was silently asking her permission. She couldn’t utter a word though. And then he moved to close the space. She felt the curve of his lips on hers,just barely. And then two kids on the loose ran in between Seb and her.

Blinking eyes, switching between the kids and Sebastian who was just about to kiss her seconds ago.

He cleared his throat and looked away.

“Ali...” he started.

He thought it was a mistake. Of course he did. How could she even have thought he actually wanted to kiss her. He probably felt lonely...he had been single for a while and his busy schedule hadn’t allowed him to date a lot, she was sure.

She nodded her head ones and turned to walk the other side.

“Alisceon. Listen...I’ve...god why is it so hard?” He said.

Wrapping her arms around her own waist, she let her eyes roam everywhere but at him. That was until she heard him let out a small laugh.

“What?” She snapped.

She followed his eyes behind her and saw the small white cubicle.

“Let’s go in there.” Before she could even say anything he grabbed her hand and dragged her to the small photobooth.

“Remember we did one of these the first party we did together. That was the best party I’ve ever been to.” He smiled and she couldn’t help but smile along.

“Yeah i remember.”

He pushed her out in front of him into the booth and followed suit.

Having done this with him many,many times before, she knew exactly what to do. So without thinking she smiled and made silly faces along with the flashes. On the second to last flash she felt Sebastian’s breath on her ear,goosebumps gracing her flesh.

“Look at me” he whispered and as she did, time just stopped.

Somewhere in the background she heard the faint click of the last picture being taken,but that was the last thing on her mind. On the foreground though? The scent of forest and wilderness. It enveloped her from all around. She swore a second ago, the second she felt his lips on hers hard and urgent, her heart stopped. But now, now...it was beating so hard she was sure it was gonna jump out of her chest.

“Hey Are you guys done in there? There’s people waiting you know!” The pounding sound on the side of the giant box they were inside of made him jump back.

Simply looking at one another, not saying a word, he lead her out of the booth.

Ones outside she had no idea what to do. Had he not though kissing her was gonna be a mistake? But then he went and did it anyway.

She couldn’t help the hope from showing in her eyes as she looked up at him.

His eyes sparkling with happiness, not an ounce of regret to be seen.

“Seb?” Was all she was able to push out of her throat before he uttered a silent “darlin’” and his hands were on her.

One hand grabbing at the back of her head to keep her in place, his other softly squeezing her hip. His lips moving against hers in a desperate notion.

A hard open mouthed kiss. Making her heart leap out of her chest. Her hands awkwardly holding onto his hips.

But man if she thought that was the best he could offer. His hands moved to her jaw holding her there. His tongue ever so slightly stroked over her bottom lip. She was about to react and let him have all the control over this kiss, hell he already had it. But he pulled away.

Both his and her chest heaving with all the breaths that kiss stole from their lungs.

The way he looked at her, eyes pleading to understand for her to understand what he was feeling, made her smile.

Her hand in his as they walked back towards the car. She wanted to kiss him again, so bad but they would have to talk about this.

As they reached the car he opened the door for her to get in. “I missed you, you know” he whispered as she lowered herself to the seat,hand still in his.

Her eyes big with suprise searching his face.

“Seb,I...we...” his hand went to her jaw, thumb tracing small circles and it was enough to undo her. She moaned.

Shocked by the sound she made she turned red.

“Darlin’” he spoke so quietly she almost missed it. Almost.

“Yes”

God, i want you. Looking like that in that goddamn dress. Traveling really did you good, you know. I feel like I can finally see all of you. And...Darlin’ I want you”it left him in one breath. And only one breath later he was leaning down toward her face again but not closing the gap.

No could do. She grabbed onto his shirt and roughly pulled him towards her and close the gap herself.

“Then have me” was the last thing she said. And they kissed. And it felt so good. It felt right. Like they were meant to do this with one another. He was perfect for her and she had known that for years. And she couldn’t feel anything but happiness and excitement that he had finally caught up to the feeling.

She knew Sebastian better than anyone, and she knew that he didn’t just go around kissing people. This meant more. And she was grateful that from this moment forward. This god damn heated moment forward, they would have the chance to explore each other like never before. Be there for each other and love each other like only they could.

“Let’s take this home, seb.”

He smiled and closed the door before getting into the car himself and taking off into the, mostly unknown,but undoubtedly orgasmic future.

Randomly tagging some people sorry 😁

@mariestark @mary-ann84 @henrythickcavill l @madbaddic7ed @toomanyfandomsshreya @thetaoofzoe @luclittlepond @sweeterthanthis

#sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x oc #fanfic #fanfiction #photobooth #kiss

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this-is-what-makes-us-fandoms · 5 years ago

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could you write headcannons or a fic of what u think would've happened in season 2 of lab rats elite force if it was continued ? i love ur writing sm!

Okay this is such a cool request because I honestly think about this way more than I should 😂

So here are some of my headcanons of what I think would’ve happened. Beware, this will be long because I have a lot of ideas...

So season 2 would have resumed to the fight against Rodissius, I feel like it would be an hour long special

I think we would have definitely seen some Chase angst with him blaming himself about letting Reese inside

We’d see some of the superheroes that the team is warning and/or asking help from

WE’D SEE HORACE AGAIN COME OUT OF HIDING AND EXPLAIN HE LET EVERYONE BELIEVE HE WAS DEAD SO HE COULD TREAT INJURED SUPERHEROES WITHOUT BEING TARGETED

That would be such a touching moment between him, Oliver, Kaz and Skylar

would also make a crack at chase being rude a little throwback from the crossover special lol

They’d ask him to help but he wouldn’t be able to because he has to continue helping the heros that have yet to regain their full strength

For the love of god I would hope to see Tecton, because I have an undeniable crush on him, at least once

A definite appearance from Leo and Adam for backup, maybe a few other bionic kids if the superheroes aren’t able to help

Also pretty much every superhero knew that Skylar lost her powers twice. Twice! Without chance of ever getting them back.

But then boom, she has powers again

Rodissius would undoubtedly search for answers of how that happened and trace it back to Chase

Which would lead to Chase getting kidnapped by Rodissius who would in turn make Chase look for a way to restore his powers

And in a sudden turn of events, Riker switches teams and helps the Elite Force

I mean during season one we see him express doubt about the whole thing

Like he left Roman to defend himself against the team

Which leads me to believe that he wanted no part in this but was heavily coerced into doing this

He tries to come in peace but obviously the team doesn’t trust him and he willingly gives himself up

The team comes up with a plan to use Riker as a bargaining chip for Chase but he tells them it won’t work

Why?

Because if there’s a chance that Rodissius might get his powers back, he’s willing to sacrifice his children to do so

So that plans scrapped and they’re back to square one

Until Riker tells them he can get them into wherever they’re hiding out

They agree but still keep him handcuffed so he can’t try anything

I’d say they manage to get inside and find Chase but are quickly trapped by Rodissius and his children

They think that Riker led them into a trap but he didn’t, Rodissius figured out they’d find the place when he noticed Riker was missing

Rodissius isn’t a man to give second chances so he easily disowns Riker

Don’t agree, go watch the ending scene in The List when he takes matters into his own hands

So that leads me to believe that once Riker tells him he willingly brought them then Rodissius would say something along the lines of

“You’re no son of mine, I didn’t raise a traitorous coward.”

Definitely thinks he has the Elite Force cornered but they made a plan in case Riker was leading them into a trap

They prove they aren’t trapped and a fight ensues

Definitely Roman vs Riker scenes where Roman pulls some crap about betraying family

Riker counters with saying they stopped being a family the minute they decided to stop helping people

BC LISTEN RIKER IS A GOOD PERSON WHO WAS MANIPULATED BY HIS FATHER

They manage to capture Rodissius and most of his children

Roman gets away for the sake of plot of course

They inform the superheroes and Rodissius and his children are taken away to Mighty Max

They ask Riker to join the team but he declines saying he needs to look for Roman who is still out there but promises to inform them on any information he finds

Now onto the aftermath

Okay so Douglas got injured by Reese when she did her mojo on his face

And obviously it seemed like he was rendered sightless

But I would say he didn’t lose his sight although it is going to take time before he completely recovers

Reese is the turning point in Chase’s trust and he would kind of close himself off

There would be an episode in dealing with that

I mean he’s been betrayed so many times by people he’s considered friends

Marcus, Sebastian and now Reese who he thought genuinely liked him

So definitely major trust issues there that need to be properly dealth with

I think he might try to like hide it away or play it off as he’s fine but there will be a couple of times where he lashes out

This would be a great brother/sister bonding moment if Bree is the one who helps him and obviously his friends

Definitely a “we’re a family, no one will ever mess with you like that again” moment with everyone

And that helps with his trust issues and whatnot

Okay onto Skylar and Oliver

THEY DEF BECOME A COUPLE OKAY DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS

I like to think that after fighting Rodissius and how they almost lost Chase after he was kidnapped, makes her realize that she doesn’t want to lose Oliver

So she makes it official and they become a couple

Um Bree also discovers a few more powers throughout the season

And Chase would unlock a few more hidden abilities

ALSO

With the new chip update, I think it would allow them to use more than one ability at once

So there would definitely be training in that because that would definitely come in handy

I think we would also see more growth in Oliver and Kaz’s powers since its shown that superheroes do in fact many, many superpowers

OH SEASON TWO WOULD BE HEAVY BASED ON CALDERA AND WHATS GOING ON WITH THE OPPOSITION

Since we never really got closure on what happened with the opposition

Also I don’t think that Scarlett actually died

For one that whole thing with her falling into the lava seemed sketchy

And I know it was for the sake of plot and whatever

But think about it, she was practically running the opposition or at least was high up on the chain of command

She’s not stupid and I doubt she forgot who close she was to the pit of lava

And second, all calderans have the same physiology bc they were genetically engineered the same way

So that means that Scarlett had the same powers as Skylar, all of them

And if you check Skylars wiki, its shows she had limb regrowth and super durability which means she’s pretty much indestructible

That would mean Scarlett too

So i think this was a tactic move on Scarletts move

Why? Well it was literally 5 against 1, not the greatest odds

So she needed to get away somehow and I think tricking them into believing she died was the best way

And to make them believe that the whole opposition thing was done and over with

But Scarlett did say that Caldera was torn so obviously there are more people on the opposition

So this way, Scarlett gains the upper hand in developing a better plan and kind of make the opposition grow more

And once that’s all said and done, she’s gonna reveal herself to Skylar as being alive

And that would prompt the team to return to Caldera to free everyone from the opposition’s control

So that’s definitely something that would be more touched on

And towards the remaining episodes of the season

It would go back onto Roman who devised a plan to help his dad and siblings escape Mighty Max and once again get revenge

We’d see Riker come back too, maybe show up at the team’s penthouse injured from fighting Roman

And explain what Roman’s up to but by then it would be too late bc Roman would have already succeeded

Also, Might Max was hundreds of feet below the hospital so I would say it’s still operational and they rebuilt the hospital right on top since they have to keep an eye out on the villains locked away

So i feel like what ever extractor they used to take away Rodissius’s powers is still there too

Roman would have found it and presented it to his father which he takes

They still pose a threat to his life but he doesn’t care bc he would rather have his powers and die than be powerless

And it’d be interesting to see how much more dangerous Rodissius is with his powers

I mean we saw what Reese could do so imagine the power Rodissius would have

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on what would happen/ what I’d like to have seen in season 2. If anybody has more headcanons, feel free to add to this list. I would definitely like to see what other people think!

#lab rats #lab rats elite force #mighty med #headcanon #headcanons #lab rats elite force headcanons #if season 2 had happened

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implodingcacti · 4 years ago

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im not in the rt fandom so i dont know the scope of whats going on but i hope ur doing okay!

ah shit, thanks anon! TL;DR on the everything going on with RT/AH, since I know I have folks who follow me who have undoubtedly probably been very confused (hidden under a readmore because it does have mentions of grooming):

Ryan Haywood (who has since left roosterteeth, which is Achievement Hunter’s parent company, and who I will also now abbreviate to JRH) used to be one of their on-camera talent. Had been for a while. I wanna say he joined on-camera talent in 2012, but he’d been behind the scenes for at least a year prior. Pretty quickly got adopted by the community, and hey, he was a nice guy, or so we thought!

Some forum had a nudes leak of both him and another RT employee, along with some screenshotted DMs. It kinda turned into a “fuck RT” thing, since a ton of RT folks have leaned more liberal in political views. Threads were nasty and toxic, and initially everyone was convinced this was a smear campaign. People are still salty abt V*c M*cnogna being fired from RT (which, while I’m here, if you think he did nothing wrong then this is your official notice to pack up and leave, I don’t want you here) and it really read like people just wanting to make both employees suffer.

And then victims started stepping forward, with screenshots and pictures and conversations, and it was all stuff that you really can’t fake. JRH ended up releasing a statement about it (he called it an apology, I call it bullshit and manipulative) and soon after deleted his twitter, but we know he’s been messaging victims and begging them not to come forward, trying to guilt trip them through alt accounts and saying that it’ll hurt his wife and kids and that he’s suicidal and that would just make it worse. So, y’know, fuck him. He dug his hole, now he can be Edgar and lie in it.

A new victim stepped forward with another JRH story- all the same narrative we’ve heard, more pictures, and further confirming that JRH preyed on women who were vulnerable and used a faux sob story in order to manipulate them for sex. Unlike any of the other stories, though, they mentioned Geoff Ramsey in it (one of the founders of RT, created AH with another member), although all evidence mentioned was claimed to be deleted. I know there was an update to the doc with blurry hotel pictures, and a few people claiming that it could be from his girlfriend’s instagram, so I’m choosing to not hold a stance either way- with Ryan, it’s been proven he was shite, wbk.

I’m a bit more hesitant to believe it with Geoff, just because of the forums, and what I saw during his divorce a few years ago, and how I know that this could very possibly be something to further stab at everyone when we’re already raw, but also I can’t deny that the hotel pics aren’t concerning.

Me, personally, I’m tired. My heart aches. Mentally I’ve been shit, and I’m trying to juggle the betrayal from earlier in the month with all of the shit going on in my own life. I know that people close to me know the extent of how broken up I am about so much, but I’ve not really said anything outside of those few people.

#angeles blogs #haywoodgate #fuck jrh #hello if you've made it to the tags #i am tired and depressed #my mental health has taken A Nosedive #Anonymous

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milkchu · 6 years ago

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❝anyway the wind blows❞ eight.

Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.

Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader

A/N: sorry for the late update! also, this chapter hurted™️. happy reading! 💓

Warnings: swearing, implied use of drugs, cheating and sex, angst

{previous chapter} {next chapter}

“In the studio today…singer (Y/N) Mercury!” Kenny spoke in the microphone, continuing, “So what have you got today for us?”

Right after you all had left and quit from Foster’s hold, All the boys, especially Brian was worried about what would be the outcome of the new album. You reassured him that you would take care of it, which is why you’re at the radio station right now, with your good friend, Kenny Everett.

“Have you got a little taste of the new record?” Kenny reached over to the record in your hand, with a smug smile on his face.

You played along, twirling it around your fingers, “I’m really not supposed to.”

“Oh, forbidden fruit? Don’t tempt me,” He said, before finally getting a hold of the record before reading the name written on it, “Oh, I’m in Love with My Car!”

You rolled your eyes, “Other side.”

“Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Behind the glass window separating the recording booth from the waiting area, Paul and Matthew sat on the couch, watching the two of you talking to each other.

“I didn’t know (Y/N) knew Kenny so well,” Matthew spoke up, looking at the pair with a blank stare.

Paul chuckled, “Nor did I.”

“The BBC won’t play it. In fact, no one will play it on the radio so EMI won’t release it,” You said, twirling the glass of champagne in your hand.

Matthew stood up from his seat, and walked closer to the window to get a better view. Though, he noticed something peculiar, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“What’s wrong with this song?” Kenny asked.

“Nothing’s wrong with it at all,” You leaned closer, speaking in a lower voice, “Except that it’s six minutes long.”

“Six minutes?”

“You’d have to be mad to play it,” You smirked.

Kenny squinted his eyes at you, “Oh, you’d have to be bonkers.”

“I positively forbid it.”

Matthew continued to watch by the window, you sending him some smiles here and there, and he would smile back, but he could sense something was wrong.

“Let’s hear it!” Kenny said, before clinking your glasses together, “Ladies and ladies, a Capital Radio exclusive for the first time ever…Bohemian Rhapsody!”

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

The song definitely received a lot of reviews, most of them negative, describing the song as meandering and meaningless, pompous and overlong, or calling your own band, a wannabe Led Zeppelin.

But, you know what?

Fuck the critics.

“So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?” You sang with all your heart, the Edinburgh crowd shouting along.

So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

Oh, baby

Can’t do this to me, baby

Just gotta get out

Just gotta get right outta here

You threw your microphone and leather jacket off, and sat down on the piano as the end of the song was approaching.

Matthew, Miami, and Paul were watching from above, Paul speaking to Matthew, “How much do they love her? Can’t get enough.”

Nothing really matters

Anyone can see

Nothing really matters

Nothing really matters to me

Miami mouthed along to the song, while Matthew just smiled softly at your playing figure, watching as you drowned yourself in the music, your fingers dancing along the keys.

As Brian’s guitar sounded through your ears, he looked over to you with a small smile, as the your cue was fast approaching.

Anyway the wind blows

When Roger signaled a new beginning for the band with just that simple sound of the echoing gong, you didn’t know what else was coming your way.

Liverpool. Tokyo. Detroit. Perth. Glasgow. New York. London. Boston. Santa Monica. Osaka. Chicago. Pittsburgh. Sydney. And then finally, Rio.

You felt like you couldn’t hear anything anymore as the crowds everywhere, you don’t even remember anymore, were deafening and wild, and you fucking loved it.

It was definitely a new beginning, you finally got a new hairstyle for heaven’s sake.

You stood by the phone booth just a robe, speaking into the phone, “Tom, Jerry, can you hear me?”

Matthew, on the other side of the call, rubbed his brow as he was tired from the long shifts and just wanted to see you, “(Y/N), when do I get to see you?”

“I’ll be home soon, darling,” You replied, “Will you put Romeo on the phone so I can tell him I miss him?”

As the said cat purred into Matthew’s touch, he asked softly, “Do you miss me?”

You paused. You never paused at anything.

“What a stupid question,” You chuckled, “Of course I do,” Matthew immediately noticing the change in tone in your voice.

Matthew felt a tug on his heart, his smile falling right away.

You looked over to your left, seeing as Paul was talking to a man you’ve never seen before, gesturing towards you. You also swore you saw the man reach into his pocket for a plastic bag and handed it over to Paul. You know what it is.

Matthew whispered into the phone, “I love you,” Just to make sure.

“Good night,” You hung up, before walking towards the pair. You never said it back.

When you woke up to the Rio sunlight blinding the whole room, Paul was sitting casually on the table, reading the daily news, while the man from last night laid down on the couch, in just a pair of boxers.

The room was a complete mess. Empty wine glasses filled the coffee table, along with the plastic bag from last night that was now empty, as the contents of it were smeared across the glass table.

Walking towards the window that looks out to the city, you felt an ache in your body. A familiar ache. The one that you always felt with Matthew.

Paul smirked at the sight of your slightly limping left leg, before turning back to the newspaper in his hands.

As you looked towards the beautiful view of Rio, completely contrasting what has happened in your own hotel room last night, you spoke up, “Clean this mess up and get rid of your friend.”

Paul snapped at the yawning man, “Get dressed,” Before the man immediately stood up and gathered all his clothes and left the hotel room, hopefully all the negative energy and thoughts leaving along with him.

Kneeling in front of the television to make sure the video was working, you looked over to your boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch, “According to Brian...it was the largest paying audience in history.”

Walking over beside Matthew, you sat down, Matthew adjusting his position to get a better look at the television, who currently had Brian on it, playing the guitar, who looked kind of tense, probably because it was such a large crowd.

“The whole night, I didn’t know if they understood a thing I was saying. And then…”

Love of my life, you’ve hurt me

Instead of hearing your own voice, you heard the large crowd of Rio singing the song.

You’ve broken my heart

And now you leave me

Love of my life, can’t you see?

Matthew smiled softly at the television as the lyrics filled his ears, while you just simply watched your boyfriend in admiration.

Bring it back, bring it back

Don’t take it away from me

Because you don’t know what it means to me

“They’re all singing,” You began, “Thousands of them. All singing to you.”

Matthew looked back towards you, before you continued, “Because it’s true.”

He noticed something wrong, as you weren’t looking at him when you said those things. You always looked at him. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?”

He adjusted his position to face you completely, a serious look on his face, “Something’s been wrong for a while now.”

You couldn’t look at him in the eye. He was right. “Say it,” He whispered.

Finally looking at him in the eyes, you couldn’t say anything before Matthew said it once more, in a louder tone, “Say it.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” You gulped, before finally saying, “I think we’re drifting apart.”

Matthew sighed, before saying it, the real truth that hit you right in the chest, “(Y/N), you cheated on me.”

Not knowing what to say, you simply looked at Matthew with a seemingly blank stare, but you were undoubtedly hurting on the inside. He swiftly stood up and walked towards the window.

With his back turned towards you, you could only hear him sniffling with the sounds of the television contrasting it, “I’ve known for a while now. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“It’s funny, really. This is what I always settle for,” Matthew began, breathing shakily.

“I love you, but…”

“I love you, Matthew, but I need space.”

“I love you, Matthew, but I’m busy.”

“And now, I love you, Matthew, but I’ve met someone else...”

Each statement that he mentioned was like a bullet that went for your heart, it hurt. It hurt because it was all true.

Matthew glanced over to the television, knowing who or what, you truly loved, instead of him.

You swiftly walked towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist, his hands immediately pushing you away before facing you completely, “What do you want from me?”

Tears filled your eyes, finally saying the truth, “Almost everything.”

“I want you in my life.”

Matthew’s eyes were bloodshot, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks, he glanced at your hands, thumb moving against the small stone on the ring on your finger before whispering, “Why?”

“We believe in each other. And that’s everything. For us.” You both leaned in closer, his hand placing itself on your cheek, his thumb wiping away your single fallen tear.

“Your life is going to be very difficult.”

And with that, he was gone.

atwb taglist; @yoonlatte // @alexfayer // @everything-you-dont-wanna-be // @itsametaphorbriansblog // @marequeenii // @killer-queen-xo // @jedi-dreea // @achernarsaa // @nevaeh-potter15 // @banana-tree-freddiemercury // @rogertaylorssunglasses // @pyrotechnic789 // @mirkwoodshewolf // @stuff-exists // @toger-raylor // @langdonzvoid // @imamazzellhoe // @tbird20165 // @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen // @theswedishblonde // @oliviaharddyy // @sunflower-borhap-boys

other tags; @monochromedeacon // @b-hardys // @spideyyypeter // @hunterswearingplaid // @livingforrt // @bensrhapsody

please do send me a message if i missed you!

*those who i’ve crossed out, i couldn’t find your user anymore.

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charmprince · 5 years ago

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Same thoughts... Separation Anxiety. 😔🤗💞

"Ten years from now or even more, our couple well be just you and me. The Nuisance and the Handsome Prince." 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

#คั่นกูตอนจบ #2getherthesereis

This post not mine. But this is the exact thought that I have regarding the series. And I think we should be like this instead of spreading negativity about 2gether.

[2gether The Series Appreciation Post] by Zeric Paguinto

As an employee that's living kilometers away from my family, I always tend to look for something that could entertain me. 2016, I decided to watch a Thai series out of boredom (prior that, I've been watching Thai BL movies already. I was not into series back then as it requires longer time to finish such). That very series conquered my life and gave me so much inspiration (that's Love Sick) hence, I am still here watching more of the same until #2getherTheSeries came into my life. A series that I must say different from others. Anyways GMMTV never fails to give us a show which has a beautiful plot that could make our hearts shake, bend and even break.

Going back to 2gether, what are the elements that made it groundbreaking? (At least for me):

1. The STORY itself. I am a great fan of novels with back story that has big impact to future happenings. I love mysteries as well as revelations and 2gether has that! It's not a typical college/ high school love story that we know. Too good to be true like fantacy. Like a fairy tale that all of us are dreaming of since we're a little. Who would dare to ask a stranger to be his fake boyfriend - the fact that you're also a guy? The said plot is perfect for hopeless romantic person like me. This show promotes pure love over lust. Happy that they tried to break BL series stereotype. Even in ending no, passionate kiss delivered. I believe that every LGBTQ+ story is inspirational, unique and colorful. You can learn meaningful lessons from it. (Like Grey Rainbow, one of my favorites)

2. ACTORS & THEIR ACTING. Picking someone who's newbie and a veteran that never been into this genre was a risk. On the contrary they played the role effectively! What makes the people fall for Sarawat? His face definitely - it is very addictive! He seems mysterious on and off cam which made us curious about this person (what can he bring to the table?). And of course, being proficient in playing guitar and his singing ability! That's indeed admirable! If you're an avid fan of him, I bet you know what he had gone through before this. Such a responsible son! Bright is kind of reserved guy hence, he's perfect for the role like you would think that it was really designed for him! Tine or Win on the other hand is very refreshing to the eyes! Very oriental looking guy. Beginning wasn't easy for him though as he got bashed by many. Telling that they should've chosen better actor. Win had shut them up eventually through his excellent acting skill, bubbly/funny personality that makes him cute and adorable as hell. And the most important thing is for having a million dollar smile, which is actually a requirement of the character Tine. His acting is very natural, it seems that he has control button for his tears, that he could hit whenever the scene needs it - for a new comer, that's undoubtedly commendable! Amerasian guy & Strong Asian Look cutie tandem is not bad at all! It has worked well! Both characters are very masculine which (for my preference) is a plus factor. They are totally different from each other but as they say, negative attracts positive.

3. OFFICIAL SOUND TRACK. As Sarawat mentioned in episode 3. "You dont need to understand music, you just have to feel it". Through melody alone, I was able to relate on every scene. And the time I've learned the lyrics, I fell in love more with Scrubb band, and Bright too! Every word in these songs is heart-strucking and trully relatable. Like flashbacks are coming to my mind, or out of nowhere I would see myself in a music video. That's too dramatic, but sweet! Tine is correct, I get to be happier, feel better and in love more whenever I am listening to these songs, and for that, I would certainly love to hear these masterpieces all day! Kan Goo is Bright's debut song and I am proud of him because it's his dream to become a recording artist. It is now happening! As for Scrubb, they are existing since 2000, they should be thankful to the writer for including them in the picture. Instantly, they are now international artists - well deserved recognition because they are really talented.

4. COVID 19 - Some BL fans are arguing about the success of 2gether the series. Some says that if it isn't because of the pandemic, it won't be a trend at all, for it won't be able to reach larger community. I agree, but I took that fact positively. I know that it is God's timing - never early nor late, always perfect! The stars have aligned for the series to be on its current state. They are simply blessed!

Now that 2gether the series have come to an end, I would like to take this oppurtunity to thank all those individuals who made this show possible, you made my boring weeks and quarantine days meaningful ones.

GMMTV, thank you for producing another BL themed TV program. This kind of entertainment has been my comfort zone for years now. You are already part of me! Scrubb, for sharing your good music to everyone, I hope I could watch one of your concerts in the future. P'Jitti, the writer, we owe you one! We can't thank you enough for bringing Sarawat and Tine's epic love story into my life. Please continue making a worth sharing work of art! You're a genius! To the cast and crews, your hardwork has been paid off! Kudos for a job well done!

One lesson I have learned from the series is that, we should always pursue our love whatever the result may be. Take a chance or lose it!

To all the BL fans out there! We should always encourage each other. This kind of series aims to make us united and not to generate wars. Always show respect on individual's preferences. We are family and so there shouldn't be any competetion. It has been a fruitful 3 months with you guys! Let's all hit CTRL+S so we won't forget all the good memories happened in regards to 2getherTheSeries.

Many of you would say, "dont be sad, you may always check Bright and Win through social media". I know that! But #SarawaTine is different from #BrightWin and so I will never be satisfied looking at their IG stories or twitter updates. And we all know that it's impossible for them to be in a relationship in real life. That doesn't mean that I will not support them moving forward. It is just that I am deeply saddened to realize that starting today, I don't have a special something to look forward to every Friday. I was living for 2gether The Series! I am probably exaggerating but seperation anxiety is hitting me now so please bare with my emotions. I hope I could get to see you soon Bright and Win! From the bottom of my heart, Khon Khun Kap! I wish you both good luck! See you on Season 2 Our Nuisance and Handsome Prince!

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journeysintowebcomics · 6 years ago

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Homestuck Liveblog #186

UPDATE 186: Political Assassination

Last time John finally got that tooth off his chest, and Jake agreed to give his endorsement to Karkaroni. Now what will happen? Let’s see.

Has it been days since Jade has been sitting on that couch, levitating and with her eyes completely black? Given everything that has happened in the meantime it sure feels like it has. Roxy’s getting worried, she tried to call Rose but she didn’t respond, so instead he goes for the next option she has: Dave. Who immediately brags about working to stop Jane from screwing up everything. The words ‘neoliberal austerity measures’ are unsaid but they’re like an echo when Dave talks about the presidential campaign, I bet. He’s busy handling Jake’s endorsement speech.

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

‘one hell of a nap, davey, shes been blacked out for, like, a week’

It seems the troll candidate is more popular with the trolls and the carapacians than with the humans and consorts. How don’t they have more consort supporters? Hopefully Jake’s endorsement will change that.

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

Well that makes clear what the best course of action is: don’t open the windows nor place her anywhere in the daylight. If Dirk’s advice will help with the exorcism she needs – to get Dead Calliope out – then it’s a bad idea. I’m enjoying this epilogue much more with Dead Calliope controlling the narrative, thanks.

It’s alarming Kanaya isn’t picking up either. Could Dirk have gotten rid of her? I sure hope not! Kanaya has done nothing wrong and deserves to stay alive, what with being the professional when it’s about troll reproduction. She better still be fine and kicking!

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

They don’t do that, much to Jade’s disappointment, I bet. Either way, it’s speech time!

The struggle to take control of the narrative is a petty squabble, says Dirk, taking the high ground by offering Dead Calliope a way out. Buddy, pal, friend, you can’t take the high ground and then insinuate Calliope is ugly as sin. That is petty.

Apparently everybody thinks Dave loves Karkaroni, and although I believe that too, it’s fine if Dave never comes to terms to that. The guy marches at the beat of his own drum, he’ll be fine. This kind of thing can’t be forced on him. Speaking of things that can’t be forced, Roxy wants to know how Dave came out to everyone else as not straight. Oh dear, Roxy, I don’t think Dave ever did that. You’re asking the wrong person – unless you want the answer to be ‘deny it for like eight years now’.

He’s not really denying it right now, though. Maybe he did come out to the others and I didn’t find out until now. He’s not comfortable enough with rapping about ‘boning dudes’ in middle of a stadium where so many people can see him, but he’s not running away from the question. Way to go, Dave! I approve character growth!

Somehow Dave has this entire spiel about all the steps of admitting not being straight. On what phase are you, Dave? Inquiring minds want to know. I’d paste the entire thing here, because it’s pretty good stuff, but it’d feel like I’m applying filler for the sake of applying filler, so I won’t.

Dirk really doesn’t want a conversation about gender. Personally I have to agree because, even though this is great for development and I appreciate all of Dave’s steps, this is kind of a random place to shove this in. Pretty bad place, really. It’d have been great at a different moment.

Horrendously invasive of Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts.

...uh, Dirk, you know what else is horrendously invasive? Taking over the narration and manipulating people around. Also the assimilation plan, that’s more than horrendously invasive.

Okay, this is going for long enough.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to?

the prince is laboring under the delusion that he has been the least bit subtle in his intentions. he currently stands beneath the carapacian bell tower, poised to climb to the top. he holds the long, red sniper rifle that once belonged to roxy, brandishing it openly and boldly. he seems mysteriously oblivious to the fact that holding a long rifle in broad daylight somewhat tips one to the fact that he soon intends to shoot someone from a great distance. he also seems unaware of the fact that i know perfectly well that the top of this tower has a clear, long-range view of the stadium, allowing any competent sniper a clear shot of whoever happens to be standing at the podium as they give a speech. as jake english is about to do.

he also doesn’t seem to realize i have anticipated his attempt to assassinate his own friend in order to advance his political goals, and that i am prepared to take measures which make this impossible.

It really sounds like Dirk’s getting ready to shoot, he’s up at the right place and has a view of the stadium where Jake will be, but...I don’t know, ever since Roxy said Dirk messaged her about keeping Jade in the sunlight for ‘an exorcism’ I have been feeling uneasy, and now that this all was said just now, well, I kind of suspect Dirk may try to shoot and kill Jade. It sure would free her of Dead Calliope’s control and possibly give him back the control of the narrative. It’s a possibility, no?

Somehow the next few paragraphs resembles a schoolyard roleplaying fight. ‘You can’t reach the top of the stairs because...your feet feel really heavy’ ‘really? Then I can fly’ ‘and then the bell came crashing down on you!’ ‘I cut that stupid bell with my sword!’ ‘not fair!’ ‘yes fair!’. It’s endearing in its own way.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

no i don’t.

DIRK: Sure you do.

I’m having fun with this part, guys, I really am! This is great.

This is over when Dead Calliope, trying to stop the focus on Dirk and his increasingly petty narration, turns the attention back to Dave who must still be explaining to Roxy the intricacies of coming out to their friends. I see keeping a show in a standstill is a Strider family trait.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

That has got to be the most contrived simile Dave has said in recent history.

Dirk continues saying very clearly he’s about to shoot Jake, and the more he states that so bluntly the more I suspect there’s something else going on.

‘Xenophobe’ and related words are starting to stop looking like a real word. It just has been said so many times.

Everything is making Dave feel like something’s wrong – undoubtedly Dead Calliope’s influence – so he gets in the path of any potential bullets, protecting Jake with his own body.

and despite dave’s quick and well-justified action, what is also unbeknownst to him is that the sniper no longer poses a threat of pulling that trigger. because everyone knows that for all of the prince’s shortcomings, he would never expose his beloved brother and son to the risk of a heroic death.

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

I’m pretty willing to bet taking over Dave’s self doesn’t count as killing or hurting him, therefore it’s fair game. Dave would be pretty unhappy to know what Dirk’s doing, anyway. The narrative reveals what’s in the sniper rifle are not bullets, they’re tranquilizers. It’d be a non-fatal way of keeping someone out of the way for a while. The second thing Dead Calliope got wrong, though...

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

Well then! Turns out I may have been right about that he intends to shoot Jade. He must feel really confident about it if he can announce it aloud after aaaall the charades he did to fool Dead Calliope. Is it Jade, Dirk? Will you tranquilize Jade and pretty much put her to sleep – non-fatally?

Dirk spins in what must be the tiniest bell tower ever, given he only has to spin to change direction and be able to aim somewhere else, and gets ready to shoot. All Dead Calliope can do is freeze Dirk’s finger on the trigger, but he thought ahead and made the rifle to be voice-operated. All he has to do is say ‘fire’. Which he does! Game over for Dead Calliope?

Pretty good aim, hitting a vein from all this distance. Jade indeed has gotten tranquilized, and I’m pretty sure given this isn’t the first time Dirk uses tranquilizers – he uses them in TV – it shouldn’t be too hard for anyone to realize this is Dirk’s orangey shady hand making the moves.

The insult against Jade is uncalled for, Dirk. But yeah, the result of all this is that Dirk is once again back in control of the narrative, which makes me sigh with exasperation. I really liked Dead Calliope’s narration more than Dirk’s, so I’m not looking forward to this change.

Roxy drops to her knees by the couch, pulls the dart out of Jade’s neck, and tries to shake her awake. But it’s no use. That’s a heavy dose I gave her. Could be out for weeks. Maybe months? Can’t have any cherubs messing with my business on this planet. At least not until I’ve taken my leave. But Jade’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry about that.

So...she’s pretty much in a coma. Could be worse, could be worse. She could be dead. This is barely better.

Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.

Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.

Now who’s hungry for meat?

Does that mean the candy epilogue is all Dead Calliope’s influence seeping through instead of Dirk’s? It could be interesting to see what kind of thing she does to the world. Although...given the effects of the trickster lollipop and how ‘sweetness beyond comprehension’ is perfection to them, it’s bound to be nightmarish. I’m actually looking forward to that!

Speaking of meat, holy shit. You just look more fucked up every time we come back to you, don’t you, John?

You’re a disgraceful mess right now. Covered in blood, mysteriously sticky, bruised all over your arms, legs, and neck. Terezi practically raked rows into your back. You catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror. You’re kind of embarrassed by what a postcoital train wreck you look like when all she’s got is mussed hair. And you should be embarrassed. Seriously, it’s like you were mauled by a wild animal. Jesus, don’t either of you have any shame?

Ah. Okay then, good for them, although I’m pretty concerned. Such a physically intensive activity can’t be good for the guy with a gaping hole in the chest and the troll who still must be half-starved. I won’t be surprised if these two just pass out and die anytime soon. I’m not entirely sure, but it seems things are awkward now between these two. Maybe it was all a spur-of-the-moment move.

You sit together on the hatch, like when you first met up days ago. Terezi crawls into your arms, and nuzzles right up against your chest so you have no choice but to hold on to her. You would have done it anyway if she asked, because you’re a total sap. The kind of guy who no doubt thinks banging a girl in a car is some deep, soul-shattering experience that bonds you for life. Yeah, John, you do think that. You think that you and Terezi are basically married now.

I can’t tell if he really thinks that or if Dirk’s funneling those thoughts into him. The line between what the character feels and what Dirk wants them to feel is pretty blurry by now.

After all this, Terezi gives up on looking for Vriska, so this is a prime moment for her to fly by and find them. She doesn’t, though, and John proposes Terezi to go home with him. Can they even go home? John is so tired it’s possible they can’t – which he really should have thought about before doing said physically intensive activity. Nobody to blame but yourself, John. Seriously, you have an open wound and bled like four liters of blood. You’re as good as dead.

He feels the urge to lie down and sleep, which is a pretty bad idea given the situation. Terezi rouses him up, so instead he decides to give this a try and zap back home. Hmmmm...if he’s so tired right now, it’s possible the act of zapping home will drain whatever energy he has left, so I’m not...very optimistic about John’s chances of survival. Would this count as a heroic death? Can you die from a heroic death if you die like two weeks after the offending injury is made? If he dies from exertion after having sex with Terezi that doesn’t count as a death because having sex with Terezi is neither heroic nor just, no? Oh well.

Back in the stadium, the inexistent assassination attempt may have given Karkaroni a push in the polls, and Dirk spends quite a while brandishing Jake like a piece of meat. Really, can he be treated as more than a flat character whose only non-flat trait is his posterior? Jake’s nervous and fidgets around, so much Dave and Karkaroni show concern and offer to cancel the speech and/or the campaign. It seems our favorite presidential troll still doesn’t like the idea of having leadership, he’s ready to throw the towel anytime. Jake insists he can do it, so he starts!

I don’t remember Dirk being so outright antagonistic in Homestuck. It’s making me pretty uncomfortable, I have to admit. It feels kind of out of nowhere, just like Jane’s sudden xenophobic inclinations are. What was Hussie thinking when he wrote all this? What was his intention?

Jake’s getting pretty nervous and I can’t tell if he’s getting stage fright or if Dirk’s influencing him to be nervous. The latter is a possibility, no? Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what’s going on.

Why don’t you have a good, long think about that, Jake.

Is this really the time for a good, long think? Jake muses to himself, actually putting a finger to his chin like some public domain clip art picture of a befuddled guy. If the crowd is confused by his rapid-cycle mood changes, they don’t show it. Jake’s got a bit of a day-drinking problem, which has been slavishly documented in the global tabloids. That’s how you avoid responsibility, isn’t it, Jake? You can fool your fans, but not yourself. The truth is that there’s a canniness to the act. It’s partially cultivated. You’re stupid, but you’re not nearly as stupid as you pretend to be.

JAKE: What in the devil was i thinking coming here?

JAKE: Why did I...?

JAKE: I came here to...

... slide the biggest knife any motherfucker ever wielded directly into your friend Jane Crocker’s back?

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. And you would have guiltlessly toyed with her “kettle drums” too had it not been for a bit of divine intervention, let’s decide to call it.

Sigh. That’s...that’s all I can do with all this. Sigh and keep reading. Third time I’m scrolling through the epilogue a tad faster than I should. It’s pretty much an entire page of gaslighting. Nothing really worth delving into, mainly because it’s pretty uncomfortable to read such a thing. Dirk’s being the abusive ex, pretty much. Nothing really worthwhile.

JAKE: I love dirk!

JAKE: IM IN *LOVE* WITH DIRK!!!

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

You know, there are a few reasons why I’m thinking of liveblogging these epilogues. I’ll explain them later, but right now I may as well say a word of two: the epilogue is competently written. The events in it are interesting, and the interactions are raw and full of emotion. It’s all pretty unpleasant to read, which makes it a bit novel, like swallowing bitter medicine. It’s pretty good, in a technical way.

But it simply doesn’t work with Homestuck characters. It just doesn’t.

Anyway, let’s continue scrolling down to the end of the page and go to the next.

I was right in that zapping back to Earth C would take what was left of John’s energy. He barely can give three steps before he falls down, so it’s all up to Terezi now. She wants to bring John to Jane, so she can revive him. I don’t think she has revived him before, so it should be a good idea. It’d be better to bring Jane to John, though.

It doesn’t matter. This isn’t a wound you can recover from. It’s Game Over this time: no healing, no afterlife, no cosmic clock proclaiming your sacrifice as Heroic. The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Oh, nevermind, it’s something not even Jane with her life powers can fix. I wonder if, once John is erased, nobody will remember him. That’s what happens when there’s no place for you in a narrative, no? Hmmm...

John already know he’s irreversibly going to die, and tells Terezi not to waste her time, that he was dead the moment Lord English bit him. Which is true, given this poison. Then he says he was dead the moment he woke up that morning, which...I suppose is the depression talking.

You died the moment you made the decision to go meet your destiny. You would have lived if you made the other decision, under a certain definition of the word “living.” You might have even lived until the end of your immortal life span, as shitty as that sounds.

So he’d have lived for the rest of his life if he had decided to do nothing. Makes sense. This may have been for the better, given Lord English needed to be defeated, so it’s time well-spent. It’s rather unfortunate it involves John’s death, but...in a way I saw this coming. Pretty tragic outcome, and given this epilogue has been chock-filled with a lot of tragedy and pessimistic scenarios, it only made sense this would happen.

It’s dying words time! Terezi is really affected because she really cares for John, and also they had a ‘emotionally significant sexual encounter’, so she’s even willing to listen to all the sappy stuff John will say in his deathbed. This is bound to be rather emotional! And the fact he can’t even think of something appropriate to say in his final moments is what makes it emotional because this isn’t how he imagined this would go. He can’t even think of quotes from his movies. Terezi offers to tell everyone John Egbert said some cool stuff in his final moments and make everybody believe it somehow, so instead John goes straight towards the sappy and tragic. There he goes!

JOHN: i think... i really lo—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3

JOHN: i... r-really lov—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 FUCK1NG D13 ON M3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON!

TEREZI: 1 FORB1D 1T!!!

JOHN: but... i...

JOHN: i...

Then John dies in the middle of a love confession.

Love confession on the deathbed! It’s like this truly came from a movie, haha. Terezi is devastated, so much she can’t even bring herself to cry properly. Once she confirms he’s dead, she ponders what she should do now, alone in the world John wanted to bring her to. She doesn’t have anything else to do, so after a moment – and at Dirk’s behest – she takes John’s corpse in Dad Egbert’s wallet and starts walking.

It has been a month already. Jane won the election after what I figure was Jake’s endorsement speech for her, so that’s that. Terezi has been rather lost this whole month, and nobody has seen John Egbert – instead of saying he’s dead -- so I suppose she hasn’t told anyone he’s dead. Rose has been missing the entire time and Kanaya has been pushed around by Dirk’s machinations to keep him distracted while he keeps Rose locked away somewhere, both mentally and physically, I figure. All in all, it’s a pretty grim outlook for everybody in Homestuck. Also, Jade is still in coma. Terezi goes to visit her, perhaps to tell her what happened to John?

Dirk continues being so salty Roxy’s experimenting with her gender, apparently. Aren’t there a million other things to deal with, pal?

Roxy is very glad to see Terezi, and she takes Terezi thinking she’s Dave as a compliment. She also compliments Terezi, giving her some heartache because it makes her remember the time she spent with John. It may have been a few hours, apparently. Time works in mysterious ways up there in paradox space!

The reason Terezi is here is because she feels John would come here, and she’s right, I bet. John would want to check on Jade as much as he can, so now that she’s carrying John’s cadaver around, she feels she should handle this all herself. It’s also confirmed she hasn’t told anyone John is dead.

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out

ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home

ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

TEREZI: WH4T?

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise

ROXY: some of it is like

ROXY: weird and violent??

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um

ROXY: nudity????

TEREZI: >:?

ROXY: yeah yikes

ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit

ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

ROXY: so it was hard as hell to convince them to let me come see jade at all

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized

ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

So the end result for Calliope is that she’s traumatized. Seeing a dead version of herself possessing Jade must have really rattled her. As I said, this is all pretty grim for everyone in Homestuck, goodness. Although...part of me wonders if her current state is partly because of Dirk’s influence. He’s petty enough to mess with the living Calliope’s head as a ‘take that’ for Dead Calliope.

Someone tries to contact Terezi through her phone, she’s not sure who it’d be. Perhaps Dirk? He did show a preference to sending messages to his former friends and acquaintances. As if things weren’t awkward enough for Terezi, she’s asked if she knows what happened to John. Terezi, you can’t keep this under wraps forever. Sooner or later you have to tell everyone John died because of injuries in Lord English’s fight.

It seems Terezi can hear Dirk perfectly even when he’s talking in the narration, I suppose it’s because of her aspect. Oh, be careful with the stuff you say, Dirk! She’s also willing to whisper stuff to address Dirk, even if it gets odd looks from other people. On the other hand, this kind of leaves her more vulnerable to Dirk’s machinations, no? Part of manipulating people is responding to what they say, so with some luck this won’t go belly-up.

Once the conversation is over Roxy leaves and Dirk exposits Terezi still feels guilty about hiding John’s death from everyone, and she can’t even confide in Dave because of mistakes she did as a teenager in another timeline. It’s the curse of having the Mind aspect, isn’t it? Knowing what the choices cause. All of Dirk’s exposition bothers Terezi enough for her to tell him to scram, and he refuses to do so.

Come on, Terezi. You don’t belong here. You know you don’t belong here.

Do you feel threatened by Terezi, Dirk? Is that why you’re trying to push her away? I don’t think Terezi has anything that could be particularly useful against Dirk’s plans, so I’m not sure why he’s bothering to mess with her like this. She even points out they barely have crossed words.

Okay, I believe he feels threatened by her in some manner because he tries to convince her to join him in...some place. More like he wants her out of Earth C. He even offers to let her take John with her, which is why I’m sure he made her pick up the corpse, so he could manipulate her by using John. He finally leaves her alone with her thoughts, sure he managed to convince her enough. We’ll see.

Stopping for now!

Next time: next update

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

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prceteritus-a · 5 years ago

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@hopegained asked: ship: THEM bc i am Curious and i wanna bother u

Ship Meme || Not accepting!!

Under read more due to size!

- How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals? Most times they end up falling asleep with each other and waking up with Rayquelle in Eron’s hold due to the nightmares she has she seeks the comfort and warmth! DAILY RITUALS UH YEAH they try to go out at least once a day and have a ‘date’ and stargaze. It’s a way for them to relax, be in each others presence but not have to worry about others.

- How’s their team work? Do they share well? Ray is a very independent woman but since joining the resistance she has had to partake inmore team activities. Eron understands her Hesitance and works with it or around it so they can get their task done without making her uncomfortable.

- Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection? Ok so this is a big thing. In the beginning stages of their relationship no one knows hell not even they really do. Eron needs alot of trust because of the walls around him and the second layer around his heart and Ray respects that. He tore hers down before she go into his so thats something she has to accept. They don’t really come out about their relationship I think ever it just kind of becomes natural and people start to see the looks in their eyes when they look at each other. Public display of affection follows the same rules and I actually think Eron is the first to break that (I answered an ask like this) Where he would have to make the conscious decision to partake in PDA.

- First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight? NO IT WAS NOT! So when they first met they payed no mind to each other however, they don’t really count it because it wasn’t anything big it was her introduction to the resistance when she was found. The real start for them was when he found her stargazing in a spot he thought no one knew about. Eron was probably unfazed at her but Ray was curious. He looked scary, not gonna lie maybe mean? But biggest of all. he looked almost... like he’d seen so much and it hurt him and she wanted to alleviate that because she too had that for herself.

- Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes? Ray for Eron: Love,Babe, Baby, Eldin, Honey, Dear, and her favorite My Stars Eron for Ray: Love, Babe, Baby, (I’m sure more but YOU WONT GIVE ME MORE ALKDJ:LK)

- Any tasks that are always left to one person? Cooking is Ray’s thing she will fight for that!

- What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could? N O T H I N G! Both Ray and Eron treasure the other faults and all the only changes they want are to themselves. ( Ray also hates sometimes how he’s so tall she has to ask him to bend down for kisses sometimes)

- What do the like best about their partner? WOW uhm Ray loves everything but his heart is the best. He has been through so much seen so much yet still trusts her like he does and loves her like he does and that warms her to the core of her being. She wouldn’t trade it for the world.Now for Eron I don’t know if it’s what he likes best but i feel like it’s along the lines of a similar thing. She’s been a child of abuse and was flat out kidnapped yet still gives him so much even on her worst days. She always shows him hes loved and cared for and makes it known she treasures him above all else.

- Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death? Yes they do. They’ve discussed marriage and children especially. They both would like them and also don’t want them.

- Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public? Drives; either Cooks; Ray Handiwork; either but usually Eron Clean; Both Pays the bills; Both handles the public; either

- Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries? RAY IS A FIRM BELIEVER IN HOLIDAYS YOU BET YOUR ASS ERON GETS SPOILED ON BIRTHDAYS WITH BOTH SEX AND FOOD AND PRESENS AND ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY OMG SHE GOES MAD WITH IT. She believes everyday you should celebrate your partner on days like those shes got the right to be everywhere with it

- Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon? S o weddings. Ray wants to marry Eron thats a fact. Will the get married? Thats a hard question because i feel like in the canon verse they never feel really a NEED too. They dont need a ring to tell them that they love each other. But in any AU with them as a ship or in a verse where they do get married. They don’’t want anything big only those important to them their marriage is for them not their friends and family. Its about them giving themselves to each other. The proposal would be cute and heartfelt and could be as simple as Eron kissing her neck and just “I want to marry you...” or her after a night of him grounding her form a nightmare she just “I want you and me forever... let’s get married Eron” The honeymoon? They dont need fancy yet again just each other. Take it as an excuse to give it all into each other with no interruptions

- What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up? THey both stargaze, Love shooting blaster, she loves just domestic cuddling , and they always when able eat together

- Anything they both dread? Becoming those they hate and losing those they love honestly those are the biggest. Ray’s TRUEST fear is Embrent will return and kill eron and force her back under his thumb

- How adventurous are they? Eron more so than Rayquelle haha I could see him guiding her around her hand in his as they explore things though

- Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat? Rayquelles poker face is absolute shit.

- What would make them break up? Would it be permanent? UHM HONESTLY THE FEARS BECOMING TOO MUCH AND EVEN THEN THEY’RE BOTH LOYAL AF SO IDK IFIT WOULD RESULT IN A BREAK UP

- What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other? The dates they have are usually very mellow and no stress consisting of mainly stargazing or holovids and cuddling.

- What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up? Arguments are almost none existent minor little battles of wit do happen but for the most part full arguments don’t! BUT on the occasion they do they get alittle emotional. Make up consists of lots of just quality time. maybe some sex who knows.

- What does their home look like? Their room? Their home thanks to Ray is clean and tidy with a set spot for everything! The same applies for their room.Their things are in no set sides of room for the most part its where ever it works

- Do they share any interests or hobbies? GUNS, KNIVES, STARGAZING, BEING PARENTS TO JAEDEN AND EVELLYN HAHA

- Does their work ever interfere with the relationship? Not in a serious method. It does spark some fear in both parties and there are nights where they get genuinely upset the other isn't there and have a horrible time sleeping. Unable to get a lick.

- How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort? listen they just soft bbs

- Any doubts about the relationship? Both have doubts because of their history but never about each other. The doubts stem of “They will leave me like everyone else” in Eron’s head and Ray is scared she will lose him like she lost her parents. The minute comfort finds her Embrent returns and kills Eron in front of her. But in Eron himself? She knows he loves her undoubtedly and that he will always. Now she can only hope he knows she feels the same.

- How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

- How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families? Leia and Luke I imagine love that they’re so good for each other. Family on Ray’s front wel uhm.... like i said leia approves haha. Everyone in the base loves it because it softened Eron and brought Ray out more and shes more sociable.

- Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up? Well N love we both are kill happy for them in TROS SOOOOOO but i do want to write them being parents be it au or whatever UPDATE THEY HAVE A SON AND A DAUGHTER JAEDEN AND EVELLYN

- What are their vacations like? Together literally thats the thing. A vacation for them could be their bedroom. As long as they’re together

- How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness? RAY INSTANT PANIC ON EMERGENCIES! They are both nurses when the other is sick haha

- Could they manage a long distance relationship? IT WOULD WRECK THEM they probs could but like alot of them is physical interaction and with her nightmares it would wreck eron watching that with nothing he could do to help. Ray loves to hug and cuddle him to tell him she LOVES him and not doing that and watching him have a rough patch? nope wrecked

- Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something? They know when the other is hiding something eron especially but ray has gotten good at noticing for him. Another thing is with finishing sentences. Eron could probably but he doesnt engage in it much but shell do it whenever she can!

- Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous? They dont get into trouble really

- What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions? Ray gives presents when she feel like it tbh. They range from hobby based to food and anything in between. If she thinks of eron when she sees it its gift material.

- Do they have any pets? Eron best get his woman her own BB unit

- Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw? he brings out in ray allowing her to open up and she the best in him because they are actually

- What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness? The weakness is how much they self doubt themselves. they rely so heavily on each other that it may be SEVERELY detrimental if one dies

- How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross? they would kill and die for another

- What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do? They both have a think for oral so there’s a fair bit of it haha. Ray has an immense thing for praise in the bedroom so often when they have sex its very personal and intimate full of declarations of love and eron calling her a good girl ;) they can get kinky but like thats a whole other think im sure

- Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love? Uhm ray accidently confessed so she started it, Eron probably kissed her first one of the they just stared at lips until someone took that plunge

- Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to? Ray wants to take him to what she was told was her home so she can find out more about her childhood. Other than that none that i can think of in terms of places. OH! Their stargazing spot!!! Special memories though their first time kissing, with each other intimately, ALSO A memory eron will never forget is walking in on his lady cooing to their daughter promissing her so much in life.

- Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often? They aren’t big party goers but they still enjoy a good drink with friends. Ray is HYPERSEXUAL when drunk and kind of a hyperactive person

- Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them? HAHAHAHnope they will not hesitate to call shit out

- Do they talk often? yes!

- Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for? They trust each other with their life and most things are open but there may be nights where they need the privacy on emotions and just need to be in their mind for a bit. the other always respects it.

- Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets? heartbreaks and regrets are still up in the air with them they still have time to grow but dreams? well ray wants to have a family. which they later get.

#YOU COULD NEVER BOTHER ME LOVE #[✥] ( answered ask // ╯❛ Here is what I say ❜╰ )#(⭐️ ich habe Hoffnung gewonnen als ich mich in dich verliebt habe ⭐️) Eron Skywalker || hopegained #(⭐️ Ich sehe dich an und alles verschwindet ⭐️) Eron & Rayquelle #hopegained

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thecompasslies · 7 years ago

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Nigo vs. Nico? (TØP Update)

Late last night this gif was posted on the Dema website

The letters at the top spell out “UNSTILLIDONTCKNOWOHISNREALINAMECDOOU”, or “U N STILL I DONT C KNOW O HIS N REAL I NAME C DO O U”, or “You still don’t know his real name, do you?” with the word “Nico” spelled out twice.

I believe that this means that the bishop we know as Nigo is actually Nico. Looking more closely at the album cover we see that it really does look more like NICO than NIGO (which, may I add, was what I read it as at first, but couldn’t find lyrics to support)

So, if this is the case, many of my translations are wrong and I am planning on going back through and redoing all of them. However, I would like to make note that this update to the website may support my theory about Forest, discussed in this post here. In this theory, I pointed out that the next update to the website most likely will have something to do with the song Forest. Indeed, “you still dont know his real name, do you?” is undoubtedly similar to “Does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name?”

Although this update to the website may only be there to clarify the Nico vs. Nigo debate, it does seem to fit with the pattern of relating to the photos of the eye closing on twitter. If this is the case, the next update to the Dema site should be related to the line “I will fear the night again,” or just Truce in general.

Edit: I’m an idiot and got slowtown and forest confused. I made the necessary corrections here

#Twenty One Pilots #twenty øne piløts #top #TOP Theory #tøp #tøp theory #towers of silence #tower of silence #DEMA #tyler joseph #Josh Dun #joshua dun #top update #tøp update #forest #slowtown

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mslloyds-reflections · 4 years ago

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Journal 4 - September 20, 2020

How would you modify your classroom management plan in an online learning environment?

2020 has been undoubtedly one of the most challenging times for education in modern history. Education all around the world has been altered to meet the new needs that Covid has brought to the world. The article in this module, “Classroom Routines Must Change - Teaching Under Covid,” points out three important tips for teachers during remote learning, and hybrid learning which many schools are transitioning to. They point out that frequent communication between students, teachers and parents is essential this school year. This is uncharted territory for everyone, and with all of the changes and expectations to the way school will work, communication is extremely important. It can be extremely overwhelming for parents trying to figure out how to make sure their child is doing their schoolwork or balancing hybrid learning schedules, students are experiencing school in a way they never have before and changing the dynamic of the classroom, and teachers are trying to navigate a new way of teaching they have not really been prepared for while trying to think 15 steps ahead of what is currently happening. Communication that keeps everyone informed and up to date is key to teaching this fall. The second point that the article makes is that students still need to be challenged with cognitively demanding work. With this idea, however, it must be taken into consideration that learning digitally is going to be very difficult for some students who cannot easily get instant feedback or help from teachers. Their work should still include the opportunity to analyze texts, work through complicated problems, test hypotheses and have discussions. School work should still be meaningful and help to develop necessary skills while still being accommodated to distance learning. The third point that the article makes is that students will need more support than normal. They point out that students are coming into the fall term with unfinished learning from the spring. It is suggested to do a formative assessment at the beginning of the year to determine where students are at, what they remember and what they still need help with before jumping into their learning.

There are also a lot of changes with how the classroom is structured in general that needs to be taken into consideration. Creating a sense of community is extremely important when teaching virtually. Teachers should create an introduction video as well as provide students with a tour of the online learning platform that they can return to if they need help submitting or locating assignments and participating in general. Teachers also need to be mindful that many students are going to be uncomfortable turning on webcams during whole-class meetings. It might be beneficial for students to hold class meetings with smaller groups or to rotate between breakout groups that cut down the number of students slightly. I think that virtual learning can be an extremely intimate thing for students, which might be why many are uncomfortable. They are sharing their home and their personal lives with classmates who they may not be familiar or comfortable with. Along with these alterations for teachers to make for virtual learning, there is also a new way for students to learn “classroom” etiquette. As the YouTube videos in this module point out, there are many new do’s and dont’s to learning. Staying focused and limiting distractions is crucial to keeping engaged with the learning. Students also need to be mindful of lighting and camera positionings and limiting the amount of distractions they have in their camera that can affect their classmates focus as well. 2020’s learning environment is so different from what everyone knows, and it is a lot of information and change for everyone.

I personally have found it very successful how most of my courses throughout remote learning have been organized. I am familiar with online classes from my two years at Columbus State, where I elected to take classes virtually instead of in person. In this regard, I am comfortable and familiar with the websites my classes have been held in and navigating a virtual classroom. I have not, however, had to do virtual webcam courses until Covid-19. I was completely unaware of virtual learning etiquette during video classes. While it seems like common sense for most of the pointers, I find myself distracted with animals in my room (or mydogs popping up in front of the camera) or I find that I’ll forget to turn a light on and end up as a black screen when lighting fades towards the end of my classes. One of the etiquette considerations that I have struggled with the most is keeping my camera turned on throughout class. I know how difficult teaching remotely is for teachers, and not being able to see students makes it even more difficult, but turning on my camera is one of my least favorite parts of remote learning. I am fortunate enough to be able to complete my classes in the peace and quiet of my room, but I become extremely aware of my surroundings when I am in my room. I become uncomfortable showing my room in the background or seeing my wall with patched holes that still need repainted. I even feel weird about my bed being seen in the background if I sit at my desk, not to mention some of the camera angles that can be often unflattering. Sometimes, these little insecurities and anxieties distract me from actually staying engaged with the lesson, so I turn off the camera. This is something that can be remedied, but I know for many students, there are not as many options of places and ways to learn. I also know that teachers would much rather see a students face than a blank screen, so it can be a difficult thing to balance.

Since I don’t have a field placement currently, I cannot make many connections to the field. I will reflect on my mother’s teaching set up though since that is as close to the field as I am right now (even though the grade level is much lower than the classroom I would be in). When moving to remote learning in the spring, her school primarily went to Google Classroom to house all assignments. She uses the app ClassTag to keep in contact with parents, so she was always updating them with the weekly assignments and tasks, despite there not being many because of the sudden transition. It was difficult in the spring for many teachers to quickly learn how to use a website or an app that they had not learned before, and for many of her urban parents to learn how to use as well. The goal quickly became: get as many students online as you can, and provide them with assignments to do to get them familiar and keep them working on something. Most of the assignments could be classified as busy-work, given out just to keep the students working on something during quarantine, and it was an extreme struggle to get them online and familiar with the websites. In the spring, my mother was only able to hold two virtual meetings which had about half attendance rate (only about 13 students out of almost 30). This fall, however, with a little bit more time to prepare and familiarize herself, my mother was able to set up a classroom space in our basement. She put up a small word wall and her pocket charts that she uses regularly and has transitioned to mostly virtual classes. She meets every morning as a whole group, giving an overview and doing a smaller lesson that all students will need to be present for (usually math lessons). She then has her class broken into four groups who meet at specific times everyday for roughly 30 minutes. During that time, she can provide specialized instruction based on their learning needs, do reading lessons, etc. When students are not in their group meetings, they are to be doing assignments on her Google page. During her virtual trainings over the summer she was also introduced to many resources that she has practiced with to be more comfortable. She created a virtual classroom on google to mimic her real classroom, and that houses all of the links that any student or parent might need. Her virtual classroom links the Google Classroom, the meeting links, reading resources and more. Despite being more confident and being able to have more meaningful and engaging meetings with her students, one of the biggest struggles has been the etiquette portion of remote learning. She has a great system in place with mute and unmute cards and lots of physical gestures that students can do throughout their meetings, but since it is a first grade class, many parents are also present during the meetings. There was one particular incident with a student forgetting to mute herself, and the entire class being able to hear her parent yelling and cursing in the background. I don’t believe there has been any other incidents like that one, but she is also running into the problem of parents being a little bit too involved. During a reading quiz she gave, my mother noticed a parent was reading the test to the daughter. When she asked her to let her child read the quiz on her own (as it was a reading quiz after all), she noticed the student looking up at presumably her mother behind the computer when she was unsure. Being able to accurately grade assignments and assessments for these younger students will be a challenge that she is still working through. I would be curious to see how middle level teachers handle this type of issue as well.

While I hopefully am not beginning my teaching career during a pandemic, I know how crucial it is to be familiar with virtual learning. While I do hope that it is over by the time I have my own classroom, I know that Covid is going to change the way the world works for a very long time, so it is best to be familiar and current with how to teach. While I had always been very interested in having a classroom that is very tech-friendly, I see how useful it can be to have resources saved and have students familiar with an online platform. In my teaching practices in the future, I might look into having a class website that students can log onto to print or turn in their assignments as well as some virtual assignments that they can do. I know that this does greatly depend on where I end up teaching and what resources the district has, but it seems like education was already moving in a tech-friendly direction before the pandemic anyway, so there is no better time to embrace that and learn how to do it than right now. If I was to teach remotely at some point, I think the concept of virtual breakout groups and small group meeting times is extremely beneficial. It not only allows a teacher to work more one-on-one with students, but it helps keep them engaged and offer them more instant support, similar to being in a classroom. Teaching and learning in a pandemic has also taught me a greater appreciation for organization, and in a way, simplification as well. This is a great skill to have in a classroom one day as well, regardless of it being a pandemic or in a “normal” classroom.

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cheezlogerratum · 7 years ago

Text

A Persuasive Essay

☼

The two duos of half-plastic half-rubber wheels have remained, for the past thirty seconds or so, at rest. Kurtis Spottiswoode, preferably to him Kurt, the owner of the pack, has been repeatedly, over and over, scanning a sign off to the side of the asphalt path. In yellow, it's been telling him:

ATHLETIC EVENT

... with an appropriate arrow pointing to the left. Still, in that same spot, he stands. He can't necessarily tell whether he's trying to understand something he's missing or if he's just spacing out, knowingly looking like a moron, but too afraid to break out of what he believes is a commitment. Even still. Eventually, Mr. Spottiswoode catches onto the fact that the sun has long been set and that there are no "ATHLETIC EVENT"'s in session at this time. His feet succumb to the decline and start stepping across into the parking garage wondering if the sign was placed for a past "ATHLETIC EVENT" or a future one? This is all he seems to think about in the structure, the halides buzzing above and the rumble of the little wheels on his backpack don't even register in his mind. He unlocks and enters his used Camry automatically and realizes he's driving, somehow unable to shake the image burned into his eyes or maybe his head:

ATHLETIC EVENT

←

Mr. Spottiswoode arrived at his apartment complex at around 9:23pm, around a minute or two later than he usually remembers, and follows the rut path up to his apartment on the second floor. The residents on the first were shrieking, almost with no words, but it soon shifted into laughter and niceties he couldn't quite make out. He went to the bathroom, where he unzipped and went about his business looking at himself blankly in the mirror mysteriously installed right above, maybe a little crooked, the toilet. Kurt had small beady eyes and a large forehead mapped out by rows of remnants of brow folds and a receding hairline, brown and faint. The rest of his torso was adorned by a sport coat and a wrinkly plaid shirt, the rest is invisible. It was a lingering revelation in Mr. Spottiswoode's mind that he was wasting away, not really doing much, but he never wanted to address it head on in fear of possible sadness... but, as he undresses getting ready for bed, he wasn't feeling much now? Just sort of following what he'd always been doing and doing at as succinctly as he can, probably to occupy his mind from that "possible sadness".

☼

Kurt was traversing through the input and output population of students in flux all around him, talking into headphones and trading glances back and forth, when he realized—the sign was still up! "ATHLETIC EVENT". He felt a minuscule rush inside of him, slightly increasing the speed of his pace, and making him aware of his breath, of his life. He looked around with his head at anything and everything of interest, impulsively, excited. ECSTATIC! He thought he might be forcing this adrenaline onto himself, but he told himself to shut up. Shut up! He was loving it, and would remain loving it all the way to class, his wheels rumbling at a higher pitch.

Höffus Hall, room 488, was unlocked, dark, cold, and alone for the past thirteen hours or so. Mr. Spottiswoode, with his newfound motivation to live, flicked on the lights and plopped his computer bag onto the table offset at the front of class. He thought of himself as a bearer of life to the once dead or perhaps unborn room, mentally patting himself on the back as students came in at different intervals of time and frequency, totally unaware of their professor's enthusiasm. He unzipped his bag and brought out his old Dell laptop, gray and void of any personal touch. He logged in and fired up Microsoft Outlook, twiddling his fingers as more students populated the room. Outlook revealed itself, updated its folders, and notified the user of an "important message" he received. WOW! Kurt clicked the alert and he was brought to an e-mail sent by an unfamiliar address containing the following:

dear professor,

ive been thinking about alot of things like the paper we were made to write a few weeks ago. i know i haven't finished it and i bet its too late to turn it in now for any grade and i know im failing the class, but i cant fail this class and i think this paper is the only thing that will save me. i hope you understand. ill have the essay done by the start of class on thursday but if you dont accept it or give me a high enough grade to pass the class im going to kill you. i dont want to kill you but i also dont want to fail. i hope you understand.

best, your student

Kurt Spottiswoode read the message over a few more times, just to make sure, again, not knowing what he was feeling, but whatever it was it wasn't exciting. Before he even had the chance to reply, or give the message a sixth reading, or to think about what the hell, just what the hell he was going to do? he looked at the clock in the bottom right and saw it change from 11:13 AM to 11:14 AM right before his eyes, four minutes late. He looked up with a buzzy sharp air behind his eyes, at a loss of what to even do. What to say? Most importantly, WHAT?

"Uhhh," Spottiswoode emitted, "who was it that sent me an e-mail this morning?"

Blank. The look on the students' faces suggested that he had said absolutely nothing. Instead of reading the students for any kind of response, he started to read for any clues, any telling thing coming from any of their persons that might inform him of the presence of a possible murderous psychopath enrolled in his class. There were only 19 students on the registrar but only, after doing the math with his eyeballs for a few seconds, 11 students present. Both the fear of the anonymous student's absence and the regret of not making attendance mandatory via a sign-in sheet and a significant percentage allotted to "Attendance" in the final grade struck him like headlights he wasn't aware he was invading the path of. He quietly surveyed those present in class and what he knew of them. To his knowledge, only 3 students were failing the class, and one of them, Mehi Georgensen, was present, but he knew for a fact she turned in the last assignment. The prompt, by the way, was to write a persuasive essay supporting their opinion on the scientific studies surrounding the spike in American crime rates in the 1970s and 1980s and how experts believe that the trace amounts of lead found in gasoline sold during this time is directly related to the uptick in violence and aggression in people who are exposed to automobiles on a regular basis if not daily. Mehi's essay was roughly 85% blockquotes, 5% topic and concluding sentences, and another 10% dedicated to an enlarged, pixelated image of a red, turned dark gray by the printer, gasoline jug. No, Kurt thought, it can't be her. The other two names failing the class were Eloy Hewitt and Harold Skouras III, both with zeros in the gradebook, but that's all they were to Mr. Spottiswoode. He tried forcing himself to remember who these boys were, what they looked like, who the sick culprit could be. He started to sweat and realized so when a droplet fell from his nose and onto his knuckle belonging to his right hand cupping his mouth out of a side effect of vigorous thought, if you could even call it that. It was now 11:19 AM and Kurt stood back up, hands at his side, eyes open, looking again trying to recognize anyone. He knew who some of the kids were but couldn't remember others because of, what he thought was, a lack of in-class participation. He did, however, recognize Kevin, hands clasped together resting on the table up front, good posture, beaming at Mr. Spottiswoode. Kevin, politely responding to Kurt's gaze, cracked open a smile, unimaginably ready to learn. What a good egg Kurt thought, and looking at this kid, this bright and utterly innocent young man smiling undoubtedly at him, his spirits were lifted by a fraction of security, but that was enough. Kurt breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, clearing his throat, coughing, and began the day's belated lesson.

Sitting in his assigned corner of office room number 528, populated by a desk, a shelf, a disconnected phone with the cord bunched up, various handbooks on MLA, APA, and Chicago format, yesterday's ¾ eaten Subway sandwich, a stack of filled manila folders, a photo of Bruce Springsteen printed out on an 8.5 x 11 inch sheet of paper taped to the wall, and a lamp—Mr. Spottiswoode sat leaned back in his office chair borrowed from the downstairs supply closet, staring, arms crossed, eyes serious, at his computer screen. The e-mail shone through the screen, he couldn't stop thinking. He followed a tangent marveling at the screen itself and its thousands of little pixels made by three columns, red, blue, green, each flickering at him performing as one chunk of some incomplete illusion, creating the image of something that is anything but. Kurt, at a loss, followed multiple tangents like that, perhaps, in a kind of unconscious fashion, trying to find some external excuse or explanation for all this. Surely, surely, it can't be real right? It made no sense, absolutely, completely, totally no sense whatsoever, that this array of pixels that have orchestrated themselves in varying degrees of dimness onto his laptop screen could spell out so plainly and absent of reality his own eventual fate. Well, it doesn't have to come true, does it? Kurt Spottiswoode couldn't believe that he didn't just think of giving in and offering the perp the grade he so desired. Yes. Yes! That was it! He didn't even take into account the circumstance of his academic honor, he had his life! Once again, "LIFE!" He was up, his fists were in the air, his legs were spread apart, and his breathing had escalated into a pant. Yu Quoque, or Professor Quoque as she vehemently prefers, in the opposite corner saw him and witnessing this side of Kurt she had never seen before, she stared, on the phone, mouth slightly agape.

"Where are you," over the phone, "what was...?"

"Nothing," Yu whispered, "just work."

☼

It was Wednesday, the next day, game day! Kurt missed whatever athletic event that happened the day before due to the fact that he was fearing for his life, but now, having found out what to do about the whole situation, he decided to treat himself to a nice, relaxing, athletic event, which happens to be a weeklong championship. Mr. Spottiswoode arrived at the makeshift ticket booth, which was a plastic table with a print out of ticket prices taped to the front side and a cheap cash box guarded by two girls, both with one earbud in whatever ear was facing away from each other, and inquired, "Hello! One ticket for the athletic event and please!"

"Eight dollars please," the girls in unison, almost in harmony.

Kurt immediately took to his various pockets in his coat, pants, and satchel, where he finally found a dilapidated ten-dollar bill with a frowny face drawn on Hamilton's face. The girl on the right snatched it, the girl on the left gave him the ticket, and the girl on the right gave him one dollar in change, but he was so ecstatic and overwhelmed by the butterflies in his stomach that he didn't even realize. He wobbled right up to the bleachers taking it all in, smiling, just like Kevin, and started down the steps. The sun was blaring but the air was freezing, a paradox Kurt pondered on fairly often before, but not today, game day! He found a nice spot just above half way down and sat down next to an incredibly buff guy with, who Kurt assumed was, the man's son wearing a black hoodie and buggy glasses. "Isn't this just great," Kurt broke the ice, "this is just... agh! It! You know?"

"I don't."

"What's your name?"

"... I'm Kurt! Err, Professor Kurt to you though, haha!"

"Goodbye Kurt."

And the big man got up, even more ginormous than he... holy shit—walked down the bleachers, stomping between other attendees and their picnics, to another spot. Kurt stared a while at the man and thought of his nerve, how someone can be so mean and... rude? but he caught himself in the act of negativity and tried to snap out of it, clamping his eyes shut as a reset mechanism of sorts. Upon opening them, he saw the faded green field, but the longer he looked, the more green it got. He started getting the hang of it and tried it on the trees, the bleachers, and even the jumbo man. The spark of an auxiliary cord boomed through the stadium and was shortly followed by T.I.'s "Bring Em Out" featuring Jay Z. "BRING EM OUT BRING EM OUT" The players jogged onto the field and started warming up, running around preset patterns of cones over and over. Just beneath the song blaring throughout the entire area, echoing off the apartments just next door, Kurt heard a voice, "What's today." Kurt felt it to his left and realized the voice was coming from the kid in the hoodie, still sitting where he first saw him.

"Wednesday?"

"And tomorrow?"

"... Thursday."

The kid hadn't even turned his head to Kurt, in fact, Kurt hadn't even seen the kids' lips, only his eyes bulging out of the edge of his hood. "I need you to proofread something for me," the glasses said.

"Do I know you?" Kurt inquired.

"It's important, it's my life's work."

"I can give you my office hou-"

"I feel twisty, I can't move correctly... I'd appreciate this greatly."

"... Ha ha, come on now, let's just enjoy the game?"

"It's only if I express what I mean and get my point across in a certain perfect way and if I have a clear thesis and purpose to the essay and I make myself believable to the reader that I will get an A."

"... Harold?"

"I just need a professional opinion."

"Eloy!?"

"It's not done yet I'm sorry."

And the glasses dropped 8 loose sheets of what Kurt can already make out as a poorly formatted essay and strode his way up the bleachers as swiftly as possible. The sheets were lifted by the wind and flew up down left right forward back, all directly away from Mr. Spottiswoode. Kurt scrambled to follow all of the sheets at once while the image of that hood and those lenses and his voice seared into his mind, playing in a loop, all floating in a superposition playing at the same time, over and over and over again. Kurt caught one of the pages, repeating, "one, one" and so on in his head, adding to the jumble, now worried, now realizing, all at once, that death was way too near. "Two, two two two" but what? He felt silly again, remembering he had a plan, a master one you could call it, but he still felt petrified, sad, wasting away, stumbling over people at an athletic event reaching desperately for pages of an essay a kid is threatening his life over. He lost track of all the remaining pages, looked around, drenched, and saw a page in the middle of the field. He ran down the steps, head bobbing, eyes on the sheet, feeling utterly lightheaded, and sprinted into the field, tunnelvisioned, and bonked heads with a girl swerving out of a row of cones. The audience's collective shocked, "Ooooohh" and a girl nearby's inhaling hissing sound of pain only made everything worse, and he felt like a kid. Mr. Spottiswoode reluctantly opened his eyes and looked at the girl rubbing her head and only thought of himself, how he looked, how people must think of him now, and, somewhat noticing, his stomach sunk. He tried, "I didn't... I'm sorry I'm sorry," under his breath. He grabbed the piece of paper, now grass stained, and made his way up the stairs, eyes down, only wanting to leave, only wanting to go home, and as the girl got up, ready to rumble, the audience broke out in applause.

←

Kurt couldn't even look at Sally Pilckner and her glasses without shuttering somewhat, or feeling some sharp sweat incoming, so for the remainder of her presentation, he looked down at her converse pretending to be following along when really, truly, he's completely lost. He had already taken attendance to no avail, had sort of thumbed through the essay, but hasn't been able to read it, not even knowing if he should or not. So here he is, Kurt, sat, in the back of a classroom, looking at shoes and contemplating his chances of life or death. The ginormous mega man played in his head over and over, torturing himself somehow just for fun, relatively. "Observe," he remembered "Listen, yes!" So he tried, forcing his brain to latch onto everything happening in the room, which—well, he didn't know—wasn't working. He attempted to consciously meditate on the PowerPoint slide stricken on the pull down screen, bleeding off to the edges onto the whiteboard, infuriatingly so, and thought about the words without reading them:

HUMANOID.

CORN.

BC.

And he just thought, tried to imagine. He pictured a humanoid in his head and saw wiggles and a form blinking, on and off. The harder he tried the faster it disappeared. Okay uhh, the corn! He saw a kernel, a nugget, perfectly formed, so well imagined he was impressed with himself. Mr. Spottiswoode sat with that little kernel suspended in his mind, projecting it in front of his eyes, over the words, bouncing it around the room, putting it over Sally's face. "UuuaAAAGGHHHCHOOOO!!"

"Bless you," in unison, harmonious monotone.

Kurt, looking at the culprit's face a bit too long finally realized the kernel had been erased from his mind. The panic struck him and the sweat kicked back in, trying and trying, squinting and bubbling his mouth. Mr. Spottiswoode needed a plan B, so he remembered:

BC.

Okay, this can do. He chugged into his noggin the image of rocks... rocks? And monkeys, for some reason, a wheel? He was doing his best, breathing in and out. "Knowing what uh... how corn was the main commodity in indigenous cultures, what would the world look like right now if we used corn for money?" Dead flat silence, but Sally didn't seem to mind. The class willingly sat in the hoisted dead noise of the room, adding to it every millisecond, everyone thinking someone else will talk, they have to, why aren't they? Why is everyone doing this? And Pilckner, Sally stood face to face to the excruciating silence, swaying, hands clasped behind her back, sniffling, heard a cough, grounding the silence to the utmost potency of bad participation skills. Kurt felt himself walking but didn't remember doing so, and somehow decided to stop right beside Sally, too close, she steps back, and those monkeys are still in his mind, swinging and hooting until they come across a kernel, a big one, glowing in the shattered sun shooting through the tall grass, or the banana leaves, either or? staring at this weird yellow coconut. It's here that they stop moving, their personalities and characteristics put on hold, freeze framed, with the class waiting and peeking under the rim of the table trying to be sneaky superimposed atop the scene before Christ, now at the same time, both immobile, not moving, freeze framed and dead. Kurt stood there until the clock struck 11:58 AM, close enough, and the irresistible sound of ruffling papers and backpack zippers filled the room, sparking some kind of Pavlovian response in the students telling them, "it's time to go", which was probably for the best.

Kurt Spottiswoode decided to keep on driving tonight, not a clear decision but merely allowing himself to do so. Millbrae now, by the BART station, the monumental Chase Bank shining blue up the columns, credit card slots blinking and egging him on, that Peter's Café across the street, still open, still not much business... but boy, oh boy... Kurt took a leap of faith and pulled an illegal U-turn across the yellow line, the toast in his sights. He parked haphazardly and sat for a minute or two, looking at the fog grow on his windows, and waited for it to completely shell his car. He was now encased, in his own little world he thought, free of anything and everything except him and the essay, now sort of dead within the new realm of his. It was only paper, just neatly formed, digitally stamped stains of ink on a page, saying nothing in particular. He wanted to marinate in this, get the feeling then go, and he went. The wet chill struck him as he left the stratosphere he created, and, with the essay in hand, walked into the snoozy joint.

A song he couldn't recognize right away was wrapping itself up, and right when he thought he knew the song, "HI welcome to Pete's Café!" She popped up from right behind the circular bar, knowing he was going to be there somehow. She slapped down the menu, the cocktail menu, and a freshly laminated dessert menu. "Freshly laminated!"

"Yep," Kurt sniffed the menu, "That's fresh for sure, hahahaha!" laughing more for himself than her.

"What can I start you off with tonight?"

"Just toast, please."

"Sweetie, just toast?"

"Yep just toast."

The look on her face spelled imminent harm, then immediately transformed into unconditional hospitality. "Vikas! Toast! Sure thing sweetie," snatching the menus in one swoop.

"Thanks uhh," trying to read her name tag but only caught a V.

He looked around the place, at the lighting hung in trios across the sloped ceiling, the booths hidden by CLINK... Kurt looked down and saw a plastic tumbler, blue and chipped, filled with water and weak ice cubes, but no V in sight. Noticing this, he noticed everything, which wasn't much, just a diner open for business, no patrons. He sat tapping his fingers in a kind of rhythm when "Is That All There Is?" by Peggy Lee jumps on the overhead speakers.

I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up in his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames And when it was all over I said to myself, is that all there is to a fire

Is that all there is, is that all there is If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing...

Once that chorus kicked in he was humming along, eyes closed and drinking out of the mini cup. He opened his eyes and there before him was the essay, off to the side, right where he left it. He was lost in looking, only thinking about reading it, telling himself he wasn't afraid, and then the glasses appeared again, knowing that they belonged to the student, that the student typed this and printed it out, touched it, the net total of his movements to that moment of delivery resulted in the crimps and creases in the pages, the same on every page, again and again.

Let's break out the booze and have a ball If that's all there is...

His hand shot out at the pages and smacked them once, not knowing what to expect, just a release? Kurt looked up and saw V staring at him before she broke out into strides in his direction. He grabbed the paper and started reading it vigorously.

professor Spottiwoods

Rough Draft

Pedagogyy is the study of how tot each a class in school, anywehere, like elementary school or college. I have been in school for almost all of my life and I feel like I have a big say in how I should be taught in school. There has been much discusssion on what progressive pedagogy might look like, but it has always been discussed and taught in regressive pedagogical systems, which is something liek a paradox isn;t it? we seem to think education is the greatest good, it keeps us young, that's what Aristotle thought, but these systems are old, the teachers are old, and theyf ail to realize that they they are only apart of an institu

"SPOTTISWOODE?" Kurt froze in the middle of that word he knew was going to be 'institution', maybe spelled wrong, but couldn't help but feel several shots of adrenaline pumping through his body, his heart trying to compensate. "PROFESSOR SUPERWOOD IN THE FLESH!!"

Mr. Spottiswoode craned his shoulders around to see Zip Baltgalvis—he thinks? —and can only widen his eyes. Zip skips over to Kurt's seat lugging what might be three backpacks at full capacity while Kurt creeps back at the paper, wide eyed, blank, stuck on the same word. Zip spins into the seat next to Kurt's and side hugs him, not responding. "Duuude what's good Spurt? ... It's me!" Kurt turns his head, zonked out, to Zip, frozen in a smile with his fingers turned inwards into his chest. "Zip..." Kurt emitted.

"Ziiiff!" exasperated, "Ziff Baltgalvis! Twenty-fourtee-" leaning in closer for the whisper-shout, "Twenty-fourteen man! Duude! You're here!!"

"I'm... here."

"Yes! Yes!"

"Hey where's my toast..." slurring and directed in the direction of unseen employees.

Ziff looked down at the essay through the blonde frizz hanging in front of his face. "State huh? State huuuhh!!? MAN in the flesh! Front and center, late night!! You know, I've been working on things..."

"Things."

"Things mmhm... some futuristic things," nodding slowly almost to hypnotize Kurt.

"What things..."

"I've been thinking about those things, like to help the future out. Man, Kurt, your mind will be buhlown."

"Uhh... toast," again at the ghost place.

"Yeaaah man toast! You're brain'll fry man right on!"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you just gotta come and see."

"See what Zip?"

A plate of burnt toast lands and swivels down onto the table in front of Kurt, on top of the essay.

"The future man..." nodding.

☼

Kurt Spottiswoode didn't even know he was fast asleep until his own drool cooled by the leather returned to his cheek, sliding his face into consciousness. Wriggling his fingers, cracking them, still on his side, his arm slept along with him. He was awake, but only with his eyeballs. Everything else was testing the waters. Every few seconds the interior would illuminate, sometimes yellow but most times teal-ish, and Kurt was in it and apart of it, an honorary component of the car. Kurt inched his head up off the seat to get a better look at the LED clock up front. It was 12:02, most likely AM. He plopped his head back down, scrunching his mouth to avoid the drool as he tried making sense of the situation he was in. This wasn't his car, he wasn't driving, he wasn't tied up, he was stagnant yet rumbling across asphalt barely any more than two feet from his wet cheek, as the crow flies. Mr. Spottiswoode liked it here, liking the most being able to pretend to be invisible, or to transcend the state everyone thinks you're in, knowing something no one else in the world knows. It was also the quiet of the interior which implied a disappearance of everything outside and anything in the future, just being able to lay... wait... future...

"COCKADOODLEDOO TEACH! Un-conked?"

"Muh... Zip,"

"Hahyeah,"

"Zi-," stuck on a clog in his throat.

"Honest man, be honest,"

"Where are we going?"

"Dude, you remember this!"

"I...?"

"You can think it man, you can access this,"

"Why was I..."

"If you just reaaally think,"

"Is it... Thursday?"

"Unrelated inquiry, unrelated inquiry,"

"Zip come on-"

"Patience is a virtue,"

"This is fuckin-"

"Woah, woah,"

"This is frankly, fucking stupid Zip!"

"WOOOAH WOOAH,"

"I wanna know! Where am I going? Where am I being taken to?"

"I w-"

"ZIP my foot is down it's being put down right now you got to tell me,"

Ziff looked back over his shoulder at Kurt, now up in his seat drenched in sweat, eyes locked and loaded. The light outside illuminates the car in red for a split second, distant honking. Ziff looks back and forth hoping he isn't seeing and hearing correctly.

"I don't like the way you look right now man,"

"Zip,"

"I don't friggin' appreciate those looks man!"

Ziff is nearly done pulling the car over to the side of the road into the grassy overflow of an empty lot next to them once he says this. The back of Ziff's head jerks about, trying to put the car in park while storming out of the car at the same time. "Jesus... ZIP!! ZIP!" Kurt yells at Ziff with the foggy passenger window in the way, trying to unbuckle himself. "ZIIIIIP!!" It was Thursday, it was without a doubt Thursday, and it all came crashing into Mr. Spottiswoode's stomach. Kurt didn't even consciously think these thoughts, but he knew somehow by the way his neurons scrambled to ignite, scrambling together as one, but the buckle is jammed. Kurt sits back and processes the vagueness of himself at this moment, unconsciously looking around, widening his eyes, tuning out everything in order to tune out himself, and the door closes. He looks up and sees the long hair splitting out from Ziff's head. "Zip, where are we,"

"Mr. Spottiswoode, it'd be really sick if you said sorry,"

"I'm sorry, now-"

"For what?"

"For yelling at yo-"

"And?"

Ziff turned his head around to look through the gap under the headrest, eyes worn and wet.

"And."

"..."

"Ziff."

"No, no no, slip of the tongu- er the mind. I'm sorry. My-"

"I really wanted you to see what I made Mr. Spottiswoode,"

"Sure-"

"When I saw you at Pete's tonight I thought that it was like fate, like that dramatic shit... right?"

"Sure yea-"

"I thought 'Hey Kurt's here, I bet he'd like to hang with me' you know? See me..."

"Yeah,"

"I thought you were gonna be like the guy who pretends he didn't make eye contact or something, and I was bummed out Mr. Spottiswoode. You were like the first guy... to uh... like really, you know, get me stoked on learning shit. And you were eating and I knew that it was like that fate happening maybe, like the universe collapsed on itself for that one time right?"

"Sure,"

"Do you get the same emotions too?"

"Maybe, I don't really know,"

"Cause like, the universe likes us...? Like it doesn't stop turning. It's like it keeps wanting us to know something, like..."

And Ziff stopped, seemingly lost in that universe that led him to what he thought was right now, but Kurt, on the other hand, was back on the paper. "Ziff, I need to sleep I'm sorry."

Ziff dug into one of the three backpacks he dropped in front of his front door to fish out the keys. Kurt was keeping his distance considerable out in the middle of a parking lot, by the car. Ziff tumbled the keys into the lock and cracked open the door, creaky to the point of filing a complaint with whatever de facto powers that be. The place was lit by strung lights around every edge, ceiling, doorway, floor, but only out of necessity of upholding the common courtesy to the household. Ziff lifted his arms in introduction of the place, "Uh, you can crash on the couch probably."

Pots and pans brought Kurt back to the waking world, seamlessly too. What amazed Kurt's brain, the first thought in his head this morning, was how shrill these utensils ringing off each other were and how, somehow, that comforted him. He rubbed the sleep off his eyes and got up to mull. He scuffled towards the kitchen a few feet away and stood in the doorway, drawing a blank at the kid with pleasingly messy hair, jammies, bare feet, flipping a piece of bread with a hole in the middle occupied by an egg. The kid felt his presence and gave a half-nod half-smile, what Kurt came to hypothesize as a newly evolved human instinct. Kurt leaned on this doorway, scanning the room for a clock or any other furnishing that might give him a clue of some kind. A group of kids passed by him, recalling, "...ea and his brother was a raccoon in the firs..." and further down the hall a burst of "pffff" and laughter bounced back to him as he tried logging the series of events in his brain. Looking, still standing, invisible again, superposed in this doorway and periodically thrusting his body off enough to fall back onto the wall. A printer fired up in a room somewhere reciting its rhythm of obeying the data it's been fed, music to his ears but merely instinct to itself. But now the printer was approaching...? It was getting louder and louder, its rhythms becoming more complex, fading into Kurt's range of comprehension, but the closer it got the less he knew, the more it wasn't printing anything. Kurt leaned his torso over to peer through the commons area and into the main hallway, footsteps thrown into the mix now too. An upright arrangement of plastic and spinning metal emerged from behind the opening to the room, then a rubber foot inched down onto the wood floor, and the robot was now recognized by Kurt alone. It continued forward, stopped, made minor adjustments to the placement of its feet, and made way straight towards Kurt. His stomach sank and kicked into some kind of action backwards and to his left feeling his way towards some cover of sorts. Kurt crouched behind the side of the fridge, peering out at the rest of the kitchen. The whirring got louder, again, and the robot emerged, again, stopped, repositioned, continued in Kurt's direction. Kurt stayed put this time only because he couldn't think of anything else other than the fact there was a fucking robot walking straight towards him. The robots innards became clearer and clearer as it approached, stopped, repositioned, and reached for the fridge handle, and pulled it, pinching Kurt's fingers. He freaked out for a split second but didn't want to make any sounds in an effort to preserve the invisibility thing that the robot may or may not have seen right through. The door closed and revealed a jug of soylent in the robot's plastic nubs, repositioning away, and inching back out of the kitchen. Kurt stood up and stared at the robot, mouth wide open, sweat flowing, trying to think of its thoughts and what it must be conscious of to do what it does, where it's stored, what it means to it, does it feel what Kurt feels, does it know? A poke arrived on Kurt's left shoulder and he spun around clockwise to whoever it must be, who turned out to be... "Sorry,"

"Nono I'm sorry," Kurt rattled out.

"Just getting the uh," she reached up to the cabinet above Kurt's head, which he dodged as it swung open.

"Woo heheh,"

"Wanna sit?"

"Wuh,"

"Down?"

"Well okay yeah sure heheh,"

And he looked underneath and around himself and settled on sitting on the tile, criss-cross applesauce. "Do you go here?" she asked, eyes on the readymade pancake mix.

"A- me? No I uhhh... I don't, no. I uh don't. Do you?"

"Yes I go here."

"Pretty cool, pretty cool uhmm... for what?"

"Literature, but I'm thinking of changing,"

"To uhh... ?" shrugging, nervously laughing.

"Electrical engineering,"

"And uh, why's that?"

"I'm working on a project of my own right now with a team of people so I sort of just want time to work on it and E.E. offers independent study in their labs so,"

"What's the something?"

"I've been studying the stichomythia of reading common literature. Technically it isn't stichomythia, but it sounds nice to me for some reason and for what I do. So I study that stuff, the ups and down of laughter, contagious at moments and absent the next. Could you read a book or get its sense and flow from the mere knowledge of the progression of chuckles? Or guffaws? What does a 'guffaw' suggest in a story? This depends on the reader, though, which makes my job complicated. There's a flaw in studying and observing these things with people, who read and re-read, the speed increases and decreases, and this warps and distorts the nature of my work, the laughs and chuckles. Me and my team are now looking at developing a system which reads a book at an average pace, its text, and pinpoints or detects the humorous areas to give us a controlled, concise, perfect result of this landscape, the musicality that might be objective to itself and its language that the common subjective emotional someone simply lacks the capability of experiencing. This is what I do,"

Teams? Landscapes, chuckles, this was all he could pick up on knowing the robot was walking around the place with soylent in its hands. He tried to be interested, but his mind was firing on other cylinders and sputtering out in the process. He was looking at the pan, sometimes focusing in on his periphera and the figures wearing mute colors walking in and out and past in silence—but what was silence to him, Kurt Spottiswoode thought, might have been a universal language to them that he was left out of. "What do you think of that?" He forgot.

"Sounds pretty cool to me!" looking for something to catch his attention.

"Do you read?"

"I uh read lots of things every day yep,"

"Enjoy it while you can,"

"Well, you too heh! I'll uh see you around," offering a small wave and some kind of mouth movement he hoped would come off as normal. As he shuffled his way out, she started to mumble and hum the words to a song, loud and proud, making pancakes. He didn't know, he couldn't know if this was just himself projecting, but it sounded like she was humming the words to "Is That All There Is?", pushing himself away now, embarking himself into the house keeping his ears out for the bot. He stepped softly in hopes of the robot not hearing him, and he waddled and peered around and down the halls, doors open, now releasing lots of machine noise, almost every room. He walked up the stairs with his eyes locked on the chandelier which was smothered in webs and dust blocking the way of any light that might be wanting to pass through and offer itself. He was feeling his way upwards, and at the top he saw another commons area with a few couches riddled in no pattern whatsoever, and on one sat the robot, with its soylent in hand. Kurt sleuthed his way by way of his back to the wall down the hallway, soft stepping. "GOOOOOOD MOOORNIIING PALO ALTOOO," Kurt's body scrunched and searched for Ziff's whereabouts, leaning, dodging nothing, and finally finding it, papers and clutter reaching the ceiling and Ziff sitting in it all like a throne with his soylent in hand. "Where ya been buddy?"

"Ziff listen I have a lot of papers to-"

"Next on the program we have none other than English Composition extraordinaire-"

"Ziff,"

"Bonafide rager-maestro and chug champ 2000,"

"Ziff that rob-"

"AND honorary member of the fun boys themselves, Kurt 'Spurt' Spottiswoode!" as he started clapping by himself, clapping rang out from the rest of the second floor. He wheeled himself on his rolly-chair, stood up, and took Kurt by the shoulder leading him back down the hall. "We are utterly stoked to have you on this morning,"

"Heh I-"

"Mup, I'm asking the questions, I'm the teach... what is the future to you?" holding the air-mike up to Kurt's mouth.

"It's soon,"

"Would you say it's now?"

"No cause... now's the present?"

"But the now always changes right?"

"I guess, but-"

"Have you ever seen the future?"

"No,"

Ziff was now jogging over into the commons area, Kurt already knowing what the punchline would be. "Would you-"

"Ziff, I need to go home,"

"I gotta introdu-," taking the soylent out of the robot's hands.

"Ziff. I'm going," backing down the stairs.

"Kuuurt... Dude..."

And everything seemed to fade out, leaving only Kurt's mind reeling in place. He got out onto the street and started following it wherever it went, freezing cold outside. He replayed that robot in his mind a long while and kept zooming in on its soylent trying to find a semblance of a clue that would lead him to some peace of mind, but he couldn't, just stuck in replay. Whatever direction Mr. Spottiswoode was heading in, there were trains.

Kurt was staring while his mind rambled out the window. The train, he thought, was way too quiet, an environment that discouraged the cocoon of isolation he loved putting himself into. The tracks might as well have been non-existent, leaving Kurt the sole pleasure of listening to his own ears, ringing to themselves to avoid insanity, an instinct. For a moment, Kurt believed that the window his head was leaning on was nothing but another screen, extremely high definition, millions of pixels perfectly and spectacularly calibrated to fool passengers of any scenic route that might have been perceived. It had to be a conspiracy against the senses. What if the screen was hiding something grim and evil? Like an unforgivable violation of human's rights? Dwindling shacks, bodies slogging around awaiting their doom—if his eyes were to penetrate this screen, he wondered, maybe his eyes would meet someone else's, and maybe he would see something rapturous and impossible there in the shared misery, if that's what it was, only to witness it being cloaked by the train's comfy encasing, vanishing behind perspective.

The corridors of Höffus Hall, human activity simmering down to bathroom breaks and "bathroom breaks", stood in preparation of fulfilling its intended purpose. Direction, visibility, transportation, criss-cross applesauce. Kurt lunged himself up through the stairwell, leaning into the curves of the railing for momentum, his rolly-backpack skipping on the steps, and jumped at the last step for the 4th floor, expecting another. He nearly jogged down the hallway mouthing, "Thursday Thursday, this," as he exhaled every other step. He kept his eyes on his door, erasing anything else from his perception to maximize efficiency. The door opened and out came, rushing, faceless, a slew of students escaping Room 488, breaking off into different directions, unsure if their rut is scheduled correctly or not. The students walking towards Mr. Spottiswoode passed with no regard, purposeful or not, either being plausible he thought. His legs and tiny wheels kept on chugging, though, traversing the hallway renewed with activity indifferent to its origin. Kurt swung open the door and immediately saw Kevin hunched over, shuffling with something. Mr. Spottiswoode moved into position at the front of class, behind his tabletop podium, faux-mahogany desk, and in front of the broken projector screen hanging askew, whiteboard neglected by former courses teeming with information, and sat down in his plastic mold desk chair, which let out a rubbery whine as he landed. Kevin turned around revealing his backpack, filled with five 2" wide binders and what sounded like a load of pencils Kurt assumed were infused with varying increments of graphite intensity, pooling underneath the organization. Kevin became pale as he met Kurt's eyeballs, both of them caught in the act of something untold, implied. The kid, his face tense and vulnerable, who Kurt couldn't believe was the same one who beamed joyous respect at him every single day of class, a scholarly constant, dislodged the frog in his throat.

"Thank you for the semester Professor Spottiswoode. I wrote you a reflection highlighting how this course improved my ability to critically think about the world and how it presents itself to us and how I can express my personal perception of it through concrete argumentation and healthy sentence structure," digging into one of his binders from the top, sniffling, "I learned that writing a good essay will help you throughout the rest of your life, establishing pathos, logos, and ethos in order to engage the reader is key to allowing anyone to take what you say seriously, perhaps because deep down these elements and rules that go into a well written essay, like relevant topic sentences, presentation of evidence, and analysis of that evidence..." wobbling exasperation, "perhaps these are the fundamentals of life itself and why we love one another and why we make the decisions we make, even our mistakes. It's all one cosmic engaging, insightful, organized essay that we just can't read quite yet," carefully placing the quarter-inch thick packet on the table, "I learned that from you, and it's something I hope to pass onto my children and their children, and I hope to pursue a Master's so I can teach this truth to the next generation of students like you have. This is a part of my essay, I know it and can't control it, I can only proofread it," he picks up and rushes out the door, teary and red-faced, "You're the best teacher ever!" tripping on the door-stop, his sobs bouncing down the hallway in every direction, the most emotional energy this building has ever experienced, undoubtedly seeping into the firmament of the place, dormant and undisturbed, stored in a feedback loop.

The clock nailed into the wall above the doorway rotated into 11:29 AM, followed close behind by the internal clock in Mr. Spottiswoode's laptop, tucked away in sleep mode inside of Kurt's rolly-backpack. Kurt unzipped the biggest pocket and logged into his laptop, Outlook opening on its own, following orders. The inbox updated and there, waiting, was an e-mail from Ziff with the subject line, "vid of my creation!!!! ;D" Kurt Spottiswoode sat and waited, leaving the e-mail unopened, watching the screen, hand curled into a fist at rest supporting his head, eyes forward. Had he been paying attention, he would've heard the uproar of footsteps outside, vague murmuring, screeching chairs and tables in neighboring rooms to the left, right, upstairs, downstairs, the beeping of high-powered turbo-toasters, motorized longboards whizzing by, trucks backing up, something custodial collapsing, honking, keys jangling to each step, someone quietly running late to class, electrical cars humming, mysterious whooping, and a burst of applause amplified by the valley of dorms just outside the classroom window. Both clocks hit 12:00 PM at almost the same time. Kurt dragged his finger across the trackpad to click the refresh button. Nothing. He hit refresh again. Nothing. He hit refresh. Over and over and over.

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#big #writing #short story #fiction

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