#understand her beliefs
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i've been neck deep in new age cult stuff lately bc i can't stomach the fundies, i've been watching that guru jagat doc (fascinating) and re-reading some stuff about Love Has Won. female cult leaders especially, I'm so so interested in them lol.
I think because I can wrap my head around that more as to why people are attracted to them, like the stereotype of controlling and abusive male cult leader is just so saturated into the culture at this point. I also find it so interesting that the connective thread between these women, especially Katie (Guru Jagat) and Amy (mother god), is having an innovative and robust internet presence; Amy especially, for all her wackadoo shit was so ahead of her time with her website and live streams, and the online community she fostered. And similarly, Katie was very ahead of her time as far as leaning into and capitalizing on the fact that she was a woman in a historically male space (well as historic as it can be, given that it kundalini was invented not that long ago) and doing that knowing you're going to attract the exact type of people you want to; women who are looking for solace and healing in specifically female spaces. And I think most woman can understand why that breeds a certain kind of deep loyalty and connection.
Idk it's just so interesting, I'm not gonna say I love female cult leaders lol because they're obviously abusive but I just love learning about them.
#I'm fixated on these two right now lol#the only other one i can think of is that lady who had the online cult about lizard people or whatever and she is such a doozy. i can't even#understand her beliefs#cults#guru jagat#mother god#love has won
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not a narumayo shipper but i believe in their beliefs
#wordy wendy#narumayo#the best way i can describe it#common narumayo beliefs:#1. loving maya fey and wanting her to be happy#2. seeing maya fey as an autonomous adult instead of infantilizing her / calling her a 28 year old minor#3. actually understanding phoenix wright's character#4. existing and thriving despite the horrible way people treat them about how they like to play dolls#fucking legends.
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"He should be used to this by now."
Maybe, just maybe, this shouldn't be something that he has to get used to. Because you would think that if he even once expressed that he wasn’t comfortable being filmed, that would be enough to make her stop. The fact that it isn’t and hasn’t been up until now is not okay.
She is doing more than just annoying him here--she is humiliating him. A "love language" implies something shared and spoken by both people, and this feels entirely one-sided at this point. If you genuinely love someone, you don't repeatedly violate their trust and then laugh/brag about "breaking" them for others to see.
I shudder to think what the reaction would be if the situation was reversed. The outrage that would occur if he was filming her when she didn't want to be filmed, and the dramatic shift in reaction to the camera. It would not at all be seen as acceptable.
And yet, here we are...
#i will never understand why it's more important to hold on to the belief that he is automatically fine with everything#than to acknowledge that he might not be okay with every single thing she does#this is the most blatant example since the 'Stop filming me' video#his face at the end breaks my heart#like he took a chance at lowering his guard around her#and then this happened#again if this was a one time thing i wouldn't even say anything#but it's over and over at this point#and we've seen more than enough by now to reach a logical conclusion#but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds#thoughts#discourse
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Season 4 hope/prediction: Deb's show is solid, zero issues, runs flawlessly with great ratings, but her personal life is completely eroding. We start with her discovering Marcus is leaving, and it culminates in DJ going into labor right before a taping. Deb chooses the show. When it's over, and she finally flies to Vegas, it's too late -- Aiden's not letting her in because he loves his wife too much to let DJ get into a shouting match with her mom right after giving birth, and instead takes the brunt of Deb's wrath, with her making excuses and talking about how they used her money for IVF, and anyway, DJ's fine, so who cares if she wasn't there? Kathy's in the room with DJ and the baby (DJ's the closest she has to a daughter, after all) and Deb leaves too furious to think about how badly she's hurt her family.
She heads back to her Vegas mansion -- empty, obviously, Josefina and the dogs would be in LA -- and pops open a bottle of wine. Alone. Completely alone. Can't call Marty, she has no friends, the closest she's got would be Kiki and wouldn't that be embarrassing, calling your poker dealer to talk about your feelings --
and then Ava's there. She got the news about DJ's labor, she got the story from Aiden (who was distraught, by the way, man's too much of a sweetheart for Vance drama), a spare key from Damian (happy to pawn that off on her, though if it isn't returned promptly he's taking legal action) and has arrived just in time to see the Deborah Vance having a breakdown the likes of which no one thought physically possible. Crying gives you wrinkles, you know. But Ava has to be here. She's the physical embodiment of a lesson Deb never truly learned: you don't have to like someone to love them.
In my imaginary fantasy land that I am concocting this would then subsequently lead into them fucking nasty but I understand that this may be a step too far for the surprisingly large number of very normal people who watch this show and would forgive JPL for not taking it that far. However I do believe they should fuck about it and let Ava take the reigns in their relationship while they see how many of Deb's bridges they can un-burn.
#hacks hbo#ava x deborah#avorah#avadeb#hey if anyone wants to bother writing this for real go for it I don't care#if any of this is any degree of accurate for JPL's vision of s4 then I will be extremely happy#deb is NOT miranda priestly#miranda knew from the start that she could never have human connection or she'd lose her dream job#deb has inspired such genuine devotion that she does not understand that a woman in a man's role historically requires sacrifice#she knew the fire cost her the show but she didn't KNOW that that was the only reason until now#that the network did not give a shit at all#the advertisers did and the advertisers are the true enemy#she still believes she got to the top through hard work and talent#wrong the deborah vance brand was built by people who love her and believe in her#only when she has lost DJ will she be open to hearing the truth (that it was a group effort)#from the mouth of the one person who stood by her out of a wombo combo of love and spite#only THEN will she accept that kathy was right#THIS is why frank left her. THIS behavior. the belief that SHE is a special queen who did it all alone#frank was scum by the way dude groomed her little sister#his behavior is fucked but his reason is close enough to correct that ava can use it as an example of how much deb HAS to change#btw please please please we need deb sleeping with ava and not calling it a mistake because she's too fucking tired and sad
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, and Daeron looking at Alicent after she washes her hands of a war, that she (and Otto) dragged them into, and the throne, that she (and Otto) forced them to grasp/fight over even though they obviously didn't want it, and goes off to live her best life while they are all still stuck in a cycle forced on to them without their input (obviously this is about the s2 final):
#anti hotd#like....what were they doing with alicent in s2? like-#in s1 they had great foundation for pushing her character and her belief as to why her children would be under threat from just existing#(even if u like rhae- understandable- it's not hard to take a step back & understand some of ali's pov#especially when daemon comes into the picture)#there's buildup for why she's forcing this on to her kids (murky but still) & still shows that she loves them in a complex way#heck there was even room to show her after all this also wanting to be close to the throne trailing into s2 whatever#but then s2 shits on that by making everything that happened in s1 hold no weight & ali (& otto) basically ruin their kids lives#like i like alicent but s2 makes no sense characterwise & makes her just...a bad character overall#like ive always felt bad for her kids bc ali was wrong a lot of times but u understand it bc toxic/complex family relationships where the#love is still there but it's complicated#but now post s2? i feel sorry bc their mother pushed them down a path and then left them to live her life?#HUH!?#fanfic writers save me!#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#heleana targaryen#daeron targaryen#alicent hightower#kind of...anti alicent hightower too?#hotd showrunners really ruined this family & it frustrates me so bad#dni if you can't have a collected conversation about this#like “sorry sweeties mommy wants to makes amends with her childhood crush so rip!”#(& this is from someone who ships rhaenicent)
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people calling hera a mary sue is gonna be my villain origin story
#do you even hear yourself#do you understand what mary sue means?#how do you watch that movie and come out of it thinking that hera is a mary sue?#just... how?#she's a badass and was tied to the narrative in multiple ways and she is an actual dimensional character#who follows her beliefs and is strong and intelligent and didn't just do as she was told#and she wasn't just some girl who had power thrust upon her and didn't want it#she had a past that tied into the present narrative and had a purpose in life and a wish for her future#andshe did her best to protect those she loved#and and she wasn't just a copy of eowyn!! anyone who is saying that can suck my dick!!#she is her own character who isn't a fucking mary sue#my very quick thoughts on this take#hera hammerhand#hera lotr#war of the rohirrim#lotr
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"You have your best friend."
(understand, misunderstand, accept, and let go.)
#mug draws#until then fanart#until then#until then game#mark borja#nicole lacsamana#YPU DONT UNDERSRANF HOW THIS GAME CONTINUES FO STAB ME IN THE HESRT FOR NO REAOSN ‼️‼️‼️‼️#AAUUEURJGJFUAUEUEJD#drawing wise i cant tell if it's obvious but#nicole is more red to signify her anger while mark is blue to signify his fear/slight sadness#the eyes on nicole killed me btw#UH also yes it's nicole's shadow on mark#trying to get that imposing figure to get him to listen bjt also that#they parallel in many ways#the text making nicole's area feel cramped while the texf making mark's feel isolated is intentional#the belief that nicole thought he'd understand but maybe he didnt actually and she's the only one who is grieving in this way
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Touko Kuzuha Route Review
a few things of note:
I mainly play the adult version; I have an alt account but it is the regular version)
I chose the 妖艶 ending as it was the one showed for the previews (at least in the adult PV); I can confirm that this end does continue to Kuzuha's current Christmas story event story
Based on the way my uni structured its Japanese language classes, I can only say my Japanese fluency level is around 中級 level but still kept a dictionary app by my side
I am not a translator and I will not be translating his route
keep in mind that this is MY opinion, you are free to have your own and read his route as you wish
Plot: 3.5/5 ★
Kuzuha as a character: 4/5 ★
Kuzuha as a partner in a romantic relationship: 1.5/5 ★ (I am being generous)
Kuzuha when it comes to smutty situations: 8/5 ★
MC: 2/5 ★ (Again, I am being generous)
Personal route enjoyment: 3.5/5 ★
tw: dubcon, self-harm
MASSIVE spoilers up ahead so read at your own risk
If I were to summarise his route in one statement its: one-night-stand turns into a friends with (medicinal) benefits relationship that becomes a situationship until these dumbasses finally learn that direct communication is perhaps the IDEAL solution.
Can you see why I want to squeeze him?
Starting with plot, it reads like a fluffy and spicy story, heavily focused on the situationship they landed themselves in which has the air of a romcom. Seriously MC, you just let this guy who you don't know very well crash your apartment and live with you? Just because you slept with him once and found him petting a fluffy cat later on? Kuzuha is incredibly unserious as well for the most part but it is entertaining to see whatever the hell he is up to with MC, if he's going to tease her or spoil her - albeit, usually in bed. Though truth be told, I could not really see much of the romantic chemistry between them, mostly sexual chemistry and understandably so. For a romcom-y theme, I was not expecting something too high stakes but I was actually kept at the edge of my seat once the story hit around the 3/4 point as something I did not even consider an eventual side plot would turn into. Everything before the 3/4 point was very rom-com with a side of magical healing. Storywise, things sped up really quickly after that point, but so did the resolution. I had no issues with the pacing thus far, but the resolution was a bit fast. Nevertheless, it was entertaining, and I will do his route again after hopping unto a fresh route.
Next, Kuzuha himself. Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy. Wow, you really are a mess with a pretty face. His character profile labelling him "trash" [クズ] is not a joke in the slightest, he is one, and hell, he knows it with zero remorse. Even Tsubaki shit talks to MC in private that Kuzuha is a bit of a shit and neither of them will ever deny it. It makes sense that little pretty trashy kitsune becomes jealous of Ryo once MC brings the topic of her new co-worker/childhood classmate/first crush up. And it is because he knows deep down, he's not that reliable at all, save for his healing magic and his abundant sex appeal.
However as much as I will affectionately clown him, he does have his reasons why he's flippant, and everything ties back to him as the Kuzunoha kitsune. As kitsune, his liver is hunted down for the fact it has high healing capabilities, he has been hunted down in the past (by humans and youma alike) and even in the present (only by youma now), he does dislike the fact he is only seen as useful for this healing aspect. Not to mention physically painful with how parts of his liver have to be taken away and despite his highly regenerative state, its taxing to do. Moreso when it is not by his free will. Next, he is Kuzunoha from legend - there are many variants mind you, but Cybird x DMM did their own spin on it. TLDR how the legend is explained ingame: more than a thousand years back while he was being hunted down in fox form, he was caught in a trap, and he was set free by Abe no Yasuna. As gratitude, Kuzuha transformed into a beautiful woman and lived with Abe no Yasuna and the child of the latter, taking on the role of woman of the house/step in mother. A few years passed safely but then one day, Kuzuha's true identity as kitsune was revealed, and thus was chased out from the home, never seeing them again.
This then led him to the conclusion: "Love is not reciprocal. Either you take it, or it is taken from you."
Ouch.
And he does live with this conclusion set in stone for more than a thousand years until he meets MC and does not realise he is actively falling for her as the weeks go by when living with her. "Love is a one-way road," he said at the beginning. Not in this otome game, sir, it's only a one-way road because you're fictional.
All that aside, he has some very heartwarming sides to him. Despite his devil may care attitude and his love is never returned beliefs, he cannot change the fact he's genuinely compassionate towards others. It is bittersweet to read him filled with so much empathy for others cannot understand himself at the slightest. Healing MC's inability to sleep well in a very unconventional way when she didn't even ask for it at the start, to the point of actively being the one to stab himself to get a piece of his liver out to help save someone's life because he knows firsthand the pain and difference of a youma and human relationship. Characters who are a living irony of themselves am I right?
Not to mention that gentle side of his is further explored once he genuinely starts considering MC as a romantic partner. Still a big tease though .
But it does not mean he is entirely exempt from his flaws. I will address something that I did have issues with since the start: he technically coerced MC into going further with him in their first chapter. She was unsure about having sex with him at first but just a few heated moments later, one thing led to another then yup they screwed. By the time she realised it, it was too late as they already did the deed and she was shortly angry with him. Narrativewise, she was technically trapped in a "fuck him or your spirit disappears when the incense fully burns out" but he only told her that AFTER instead of the BEGINNING. Kuzuha... That is A CHOICE to make, and not a good one - considering you were the one who gave her the incense sticks in the first place 💀 Not entirely comfy with that situation even if he treated her gently. Sure he's the gentlest suitor in the starter pack, but that's just a little bit hmmmmmmmmmm. He has other flaws as well but that is my biggest gripe with him.
Would I consider him as a good romantic partner? Not exactly on that thread given how he has boundaries he wants respected but does not respect others' boundaries. He has a full point for actively looking out for MC and listening to her and responding to that at least. But he is 100% not the type of guy MC can show to her parents and get instant approval for a few other glaring issues.
This is how I see him maybe meeting the parents going in my head:
"So how did you meet?"
"Um..."
"What's your job?"
"Haha, about that-"
When it comes to sexy times in his route, there's a lot of very intensely heated moments, given his nature and the fact he's 90% in close proximity to her because he ends up living with her like a roommate/friend with benefits. Mugenro by itself has very lengthy sex scenes, and partially voiced so yes please do not be like me who forgets to turn down the volume 💀 He is a big tease, but once he knows how desperate she is, oh he's rewarding her a hundred times over. He's skilled, good grief, he knows it and makes use of everything he knows to send anyone to high heaven. Also outdoor sex does happen in one of the avatar challenges, yes I got it because I was curious and I am damn well not regretting it. Just saying, his voice getting raspy had me going, I need to hear this at home. Alone. Ehe.
Ok enough about Kuzuha, time to turn to MC. Girl... Because why. On one hand, I actively like the fact she's quite possessive towards him at the end, directly telling him there's a boundary he should never cross with her and he listens. But for the rest of the time, sweetie, there's a fine line being nice and then being trodded underfoot. And where is your common sense girl, you barely knew the guy and you're letting him crash at your place immediately? She has all the position to refuse him but nooooo. I cannot blame her for being attracted to Kuzuha with his debonair charm, but I do want to wring her like laundry sometimes with how downright idiotic she can get. Even she's not safe from being scolded by Kuzuha himself for running into a very dangerous situation. Maybe sit down with the blindfold from seeing the red flags for a moment and maybe come to terms with the different lifespans for a bit. Even just a little bit. I will give her a full point for taking on the usually active role instead of being passive and letting him make the decisions for her as she is more decisive than this free-spirited fox, but otherwise, ma'am you have a brain, don't let it waste away.
Overall, I did enjoy Kuzuha's route and will do it again to full clear everything, just not now. Not my true cup of tea, but he is arguably the nicest of the suitors so far and I am glad I read his route first. And because he's cute. If I make a plushie of him, he's going to become my new stress toy.
Have a blushie Kuzuha for the end:
K, bye.
#mugenro#touko kuzuha#toko kuzuha#cybird#otome#val reviews things for once#on another note idk where to put#but the narrative is somehow leaving it up to interpretation that he's queer but he never DIRECTLY SAYS IT#“familial love for abe no yasuna” i am 100% betting the master of the dream tower was lying to MC about that#kuzuha never opens up about the child he raised back then but proceeds to start yapping about yasuna and how mc reminds him of yasuna#and then still reminisces about yasuna in the seimei temple and how you will never understand his reasons#and still not being over it for 1000 years that he based his entire belief system on that event#“mc you remind me of yasuna a lot” in what way is it straight to say to her she reminds you of 'your ex-husband'#BUT IN A GOOD WAY#and then he goes on to be sympathetic to a youkai bc the youkai was in love with a human “buddy i get you 100%”#kuzuha please you knew love once and every single sign points back to yasuna showing you that#heartbroken so badly it fundamentally changed you for a millenia until you fall for the person that reminds you of HIM a millenia later#like kuzuha if mc wasn't as dumb as a rock she would have gotten the message that you are not that straight
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oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,
#haven’t been able to write in days so i am posting instead. forgive me.#it’s just so. like. okay pallas has all of the material power here that’s not a question they’ve got much stronger magic they#know how the library works they’re directly placed in a mentorship role at the beginning re agnes she depends on them#for everything.#but also#pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own#emotions related to this AT ALL. and in the process of trying very very hard to get to Know pallas (so pallas will Like her so pallas will#want to keep her alive) agnes kind of comes to understand a lot of pallas’s issues even better than pallas does and pallas starts to depend#on her for emotional support in a way they NEVER have with anyone else.#and pallas’s ability to show vulnerability has been soooo wrecked beyond belief that to them doing things like sharing part#of their backstory and being visibily hurt around someone is tantamount to placing a knife in someone’s hand and#then circling all of their weak points with a giant red marker while going ‘HEY STAB HERE’#so in their mind by doing this they’re giving agnes an IMMENSE amount of power over them like enough to kill them dead even though very#little else has changed about their dynamic. so pallas believes that they’re standing on much more equal ground then they really are#and agnes partly believes it too she thinks that by seeing this much of how broken down pallas is she’s finally found the balance in their#relationship she’s finally found a way to make it stable. and yeah. to some extent this is true!#pallas DOES listen to agnes more than any other person agnes IS the first person in years to understand them this much pallas’s dependence#on her for their mental wellbeing DOES give her some measure of power over them. but that power is given out on pallas’s terms is the thing#whether they’re aware of that or not. agnes wouldn’t have anything if pallas didn’t actively choose to be vulnerable with her there’d be#no way she’d learn about anything no way she’d get to play this role in their life#they believe that this thing is much more equal much more sustainable than it really is (pallas especially) and they’re#literally all each other have#grabs your face are you listening THEYRE ALL EACH OTHER HAVE IN THIS PLACE THEYRE BOTH IN SUCH HORRIFIC SITUATIONS AND THEY R EATING#EACHOTGER TO SURVIVE!!!!#head in fucking hands#wip: ghost story#pallas and agnes
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I was skimming part of code of the clans today where the Leafpool narrator goes over proposed code rules that were struck down. I was curious why this StarClan rule wasn't implemented because it seems like something the zealot clan cats would go for. The guide does not rly answer my question lol
This is such a weird paragraph. It's like. In one breath Leafpool-narrator is saying they didn't make it a code rule because clan cats can think for themselves, but in the next breath implies that belief in StarClan is in fact necessary for living in the clan, because to live in a clan means you have to follow the warrior code, and belief in StarClan is what makes them follow the code (apparently). If you don't believe in StarClan, she seems to imply that must mean you are planning on leaving the clan? ("it's not a law to stay in the clan" + you can "choose a different path"?) There is not actually any room being made here for a clan cat to peacefully not believe in StarClan---at least not a good code abiding clan cat. And the alternative of leaving the clan obviously means you are no longer planning on following any of the code, so like...how is this meaningfully different from making it an official code rule?
#idk where i'm going with this i guess im just frustrated at the average clan cats apparent lack of imagination#in regards to their ability to understand why a cat could do things w out starclan breathing down their neck#i guess this explains why riverclan fell apart like that in a way#just their personal self fufilling prophecy ig i cant think of the right word rn#you think you cant function w out starclan approval so you stop trying and stare helplessly at the wall when youre left alone#even though most of the code has nothing directly to do with starclan#maybe cloudtail only got by bc firestar nepotism and mothwing hid her beliefs until after she was a fully trained med cat#i feel like the average clan cat would say they are just exceptions to the rule#like how firestar being a kittypet did Nothing to change anyones opinion on judging kittypets they just said he was the Exception#warrior cats#yarrow speaks#wc criticism#code of the clans
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ALSO.
I think it’s easy to underestimate the enormity of Beatrice’s decision to try and place the crown on Ava.
It happens in a flash, it’s followed by The Kiss (which is everything). I think some viewers might even have missed she was holding the crown at all.
And so much happens and events spiral so quickly, it’s easy to forget where in the story Beatrice stands at this point.
Beatrice does not know the specifics of Adriel’s plan. At this point in the story, the OCS’ best guess is Adriel will use the portal to bring through unlimited wraith demons.
That’s the stakes for them: complete the mission or face a full on demon apocalypse. It’s literally “do this or the world ends.”
And Beatrice has lost so much. She’s lost Shannon just months ago, she’s lost Mary, Vincent betrayed them, to all appearances they’ve lost Lilith to Adriel for good. More of her closest family have died or abandoned her than not.
What more could the universe take from her?
And then the universe points at Ava and says “that one.”
You know those few months you got to spend away from the thick of battle? The short breath of time where you tasted life? Where you fell in love? Where you let yourself believe that — just maybe — happiness was possible? I want that. I want the person at the center of that, I want the one who gave you that.
Beatrice says no.
Putting the crown on Ava is not a discussion. It’s not a reassessment of the plan. It’s putting her unconscious to get her out. It’s aborting the mission.
The mission to save the world, where failure means wraith demons everywhere and most likely a literal apocalypse, and Beatrice says “No.”
Not if the cost is her.
Because how just is a world that keeps demanding this kind of suffering and sacrifice? There has to be another way for the world, because if there isn’t, she will not save it.
Not at this cost.
#avatrice#warrior nun#warrior nun fangirling#I'm not exaggerating when I say Beatrice will let the world burn for Ava#But also it's not just because she's cool — she is — and so in love with Ava — she is.#It's also I think born from a deepening of her understanding of ends vs means#Her shifting belief that there is a limit to what you can ask of people to give#even for great causes#because what are we doing if the path to salvation is made of nothing but blood and suffering?#what kind of world are we saving — are we *building* — if all our tools are drenched in the pain of good people?#there's something so powerful in Beatrice of all people being the one to say 'no. enough.' to the demand of yet more sacrifice.#no matter how great or lofty your cause#enough
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"Rhaenyra being usurped had nothing to do with misoginy and her being a woman -"
"The Greens are not only constituted by misoginystic -"
"Aegon and Rhaenyra were just as bad and neither deserved to -"
"George is writing about how Aegon and Rhaenyra were equally bad, not about how misoginy and patriarchy killed a woman and ruined her entire life -"
"Rhaenyra being murdered has nothing to do with her being a woman, nor is she sexualized even in death-"
#the faux intellectuals of this fandom completely disgust me#“you have to understand that this is about how Rhaenyra was just as bad as Aegon and how war is” - NO#this war and this usurpation and Rhaenyra's murder happened exclusively on account of her sex#her being a woman is the one and only reason the usurpation took place#and it tells me enough about your intelligence your beliefs your mental capacity your principles and you as a person how you approach this#because you're not only mysoginistic you're illiterate as well#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra i#hotd#asoiaf
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fandom-chameleon23 replied to your post “"He should be used to this by now." Maybe, just…”
If it was a joke he’d smile or laugh after the glare, but he just looks so angry. It made my heart sink just watching.
@fandom-chameleon23 Likewise. He looks angry, and almost...disappointed. Like he was giving her a chance to just be normal around him, and she couldn't do it. And as you said, had there been that smile or laugh after the glare, that would change the tone of the video drastically...but he stormed off instead. The immediacy with which his expression and body language changed and how he couldn't move away quickly enough as soon as he realized she was recording him said it all...
#fandom-chameleon23#reply post#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#georgia tennant#sometimes i think about David saying that Walt is the character he's played who is most like him#i think about that a lot#i will never understand why it's more important to hold on to the belief that he is automatically fine with everything#than to acknowledge that he might not be okay with every single thing she does#this is the most blatant example since the 'Stop filming me' video#his face at the end breaks my heart#like he took a chance at lowering his guard around her#and then this happened#again if this was a one time thing i wouldn't even say anything#but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds#relationships#thoughts#discourse
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listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.
The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.
To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.
If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take
Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"
Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.
I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.
And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).
Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)
Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?
Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.
It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware
Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#Suicide ment#SA ment#Yeah. Pronouns were kicking m fucking ass in this post. Names also bc I once called curly jimmy#if I write to much my brain stops cooperating with words#Idk. The way she brings up the locks in my mind sounds a little less like#Singular Incident and more. The lack of locks is a Very Important Boundary That's Missing#That feels like it often leads to the erosion of other important boundaries especially when someone abusive#Is specifically pushing those boundaries. Idk again. My take on it#And while Anya says ''i told you'' a part of me thinks she told him like. Y'know vaguely about the situation but probably didn't#Characterize it as assault (bc even if he didn't believe her I don't think he would ask ''who'' if he remembered her telling him#That his friend assaulted her) and was maybe not interpreting it as assault herself bc she was trying to rationalize it#Bc she's in a very isolated situation for over a year in a place where Two Whole Rooms Have Locks.#Realizing she was in the cockpit (has a lock) when Curly is assuming she's suicidal (or at least going to hurt herself)#And then she's in the medbay (has a lock) when she actually. Y'know#Idk I'm fully up to debate this. If someone has good reasoning why curly is actually worse than I think he is I'm all for it#I'm just trying to like. In the context of my beliefs understand the actions he takes and how they fit in within the timeframe#But legit watching a chronological playthrough helps A LOT bc like. Game is super impactful nonlinear#But like. That's not how the characters experienced it and it really fucks with the timeline of events intuitively#Anyway again. If u hate curly that's entirely understandable I just want to try and organize my thoughts while keeping#The timeline and my view of events relatively straight. Feel like there's sometimes a lil too much focus on how the men failed Anya#When we should focus on what Anya's needs and wants are. Which ofc from our POV characters are Hard bc. It's curly and jimmy#But still it's worth trying to understand her better than they do#Game that makes you think so much your brain becomes mouthwash
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The business partners are dancing!
#rel'sart#alastor#charlie magne#hazbin hotel#hh#vivziepop#got my own issues with the show and creator but I've been attached to the two of them since the pilot#can be interpreted as charlastor if you like :3#I never really saw them as father and daughter esp in the pilot? So episode five was a slap to the face. I did not see it coming at all SDO#charlastor#like#I can understand how others would ship them given how intriguing their dynamic is#both of their ideals and beliefs are in conflict and against each other#but at the same time they seem to share a lot of similar interests??? and also the vibes are impeccable#like the two of them can really challenge the other I would say...#but yeah my blog is a safe space for those who like Charlastor!#honestly I don't even mind a platonic dynamic for them#their interactions are always so intriguing to me#Like Alastor being intrigued by Charlie#seeing her as the most interesting thing after years of BOREDOM#He wants in on that#Front row seats if you will#I think every single action he takes towards her is manipulative but he grows to care for her in his own way#Charlie sees the good in everyone and is hellbent on proving Alastor wrong#One might say#she believes in redeeming even him#which Alastor just laughs at#I've been a Charlastor shipper since the pilot and I have curated my own specific view on them ever since KSDHD#Like...in the Charlastor ship right...I can't actually imagine Alastor loving Charlie in a romantic way??#It's more like he's fascinated by her and wants to shake her in a bottle BAHAHAH
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