#uncle loft was actually a really cool guy. the rest of the family tree was trash but he was ending the cycle of abuse & corruption.

[luckydxy]

While I'm still angry at Lijsbeth I feel like it's a good time to mention that she had an elder brother who was very successful & had a wonderful family. He was well-adjusted & well-respected & Lijsbeth hated him with a passion. He was the first man Lijsbeth murdered. She killed him. His wife. His children. & burned their house down. After that, Lijsbeth realized she could get away with murder & the Loft family tree started dropping like flies. This is why Ara has no other relatives aside from her mother & is the last of her bloodline. Realizing that Ara was a lesbian brought a sick sense of relief to Lijsbeth for a variety of reasons - but she especially loved the idea that Ara would be the last Loft.

[blondecarfucker]

Bed of Roses (Chapter 16)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: So we're closer to the end! I can't believe there's only five more chapters to go. But yeah, this chapter was nice - I'm not gonna say it's a happy chapter, but it's happier than the last few ones lol. It's a chapter that has a bit more of me in it - but it's still a Reader fic, so don't worry lol. Please tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages!

Words: 2800ish

ACT 3 - DAWN

"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"

Chapter 16

1977, New York

The bench under your bum made you uncomfortable, but you were still too lazy to care - you always left the beach like this.

You were on the long, one hour way back to your loft in Greene Street, SoHo, through the good old F train, every inch of the train filled with graffiti. But you could still smell the salt in the air coming from the New York Aquarium Station - the best station to access the Coney Island sidewalk and beach.

There was better, cleaner beaches in the Hamptons, but they were full of annoyingly rich people that think they're better than the rest. Also, Coney Island held a special place in your heart - when you were a kid, your grandma would take you there, so you could enjoy the sun and the not-so-safe attractions, and your parents would always freak out when they found out that you took the unsafe subway through the unsafe neighbourhood of Brooklyn to get to a dirty beach.

But it was always fun. The sun would almost certainly burn your shoulders, and you could never wear any jewelry, but the feeling of being involved by the sea, floating in the water, holding your breath, after spending a couple hours on carousels and wooden roller coasters, would always make it worth it - your grandma always taught you to be brave, that things could be scary at first, but usually worked out. "If it doesn't make you happier, it makes you wiser", she'd tell you, and you'd nod, the taste of cheap ice cream on your mouth, the sun warming up your skin.

It was your grandma who figured out that something was wrong with you and made you seek help.

She came by to visit as soon as you called her, right after getting home from Cleopatra's Needle and breaking up with Roger. She came to your parent's apartment, complaining about the traffic - she lived in Paramus, New Jersey, now. She moved there in 1973, saying that it was ludicrous she couldn't grow old with a nice garden on the back of her house, just because Manhattan didn't have houses with gardens anymore.

Now, once you came back from London, in 1975, she looked at you and immediately knew something was wrong. "Sweetpea, what's wrong?" she asked, a frown on her face as she got closer to you.

You were lying on the couch in your pajamas, trying to see if you could find a Doctor Who re-run - probably not a good idea, all things considered, but you didn't just miss Roger, now that he's away. You missed England, you missed their accents, you missed the way you felt when you first got there. "What, grandma?", you asked, and she got you to get up, putting her hand against your forehead.

"You're different", she said, and you shrugged, "Yeah, I'm older", and she laughed. "So am I, Sweetpea. And it hasn't been so long since I last saw you - last year, right? You came here with your hairy boyfriend", she said, and you tensed up, which didn't go unnoticed. "Oh. I see. Something happened between the two of you, right?" she asked, and you nodded.

"That's it. You look sadder. You didn't look like that before. But… Maybe that's not it. No, I don't think that's it at all", she said, and you looked at her, confused. "No, Grandma. That's what happened. I'm sad - I had to breakup with Roger, my boyf - ex-boyfriend", you interrupted yourself, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Roger, my ex-boyfriend, so I could get back here", you said, a cold pain spreading through your chest as the impact of these words hit you.

"But that's just a symptom. There's something else wrong there, Sweetpea. Something deeper within", she said, pointing to your heart. "And that's what made you sad, what made you break up with that boy. I liked him, you know. He made you happy - I could see it. You were always brave, and that always made me proud. But with him, you were happy - when you came into the room with him by your side, everything got brighter. Your love was like the sun", she said, fixing a painting on the wall, not noticing how your eyes were tearing up.

"That's how I last saw you. Brave and happy", she looked at the painting, satisfied with it now that it was not crooked anymore, and turned to you. "Now you're neither. What happened, Sweetpea?", and you choked up. "I don't know", you whispered, and she hugged you as you started to cry - she smelled like plums and apples, the things she grew on her garden in Paramus.

You couldn't stop thinking about the last time she saw you - it was in 1974, and the boys came to America, specifically to New York for a few dates, and you had to come with them - they wanted you to do so. Also, you were dating Roger for two years, and it was time for him to meet your parents.

You came from a small gig in Boston, Roger holding your hand the entire plane ride to New York - he was nervous. You were travelling right after their show, an extra night before the rest of the boys, so you could take Roger to have dinner with your parents.

None of you knew your parents actually organized a dinner party, and invited part of your family - your uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents. Your uncle opened the door to your apartments, surprising both you and Roger. "Hm, hey, uncle Marcus. Where are my parents?", you asked, and you felt Roger's grip on your hand tighten as he noticed there would be many more family members for him to meet.

As you walked inside, you whispered to Roger "Relax, Rog", and he started looking more confident - but you could still feel his tight grip on your hand. He was still nervous.

But everything worked out just fine, actually. Your parents didn't really approve his looks - Roger was wearing a suit that he bought in Japan, with colorful birds and trees in silk shining against the dining room lights - but your cousins loved it. They loved him, actually, since they knew exactly who he was.

He got more comfortable as dinner went by, joking with your family, and you carefully changed topics once you realized one of your parents was about to ask a question about delicate stuff - money, marriage, kids.

You two always thought about marriage and kids as something distant - you felt too young, too irresponsible to take care of a child. So you took your birth control pills religiously, and everything worked out fine - the promise of children and marriage always there, in the distant future.

After the dinner party, Roger followed you to your room - you'd be spending the night there, since the band's hotel was booked for the next day.

"Well, this is an interesting look into a younger Y/N", Roger said, going through your bookshelf. "Frankenstein, Romeo and Juliet, Don Quixote, that's all pretty smart… 1984, I remember you talked about this book before our first kiss...", he said, and kneeled down, where your bookshelf was messier. "What's this? Flash Gordon?" he asks, picking up one of the comic books and going through it, and you could see he was trying not to laugh.

"What?", you said, getting the comics out of his hands. "I used to think Flash was hot. And Dale was pretty cool, too", you said, and he laughed, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

"It's fine by me", he said, and looked out of your window. "It's just funny for me to imagine you, a teenager, sitting by your window in this preppy, quite soulless neighbourhood, reading Flash Gordon and thinking of a way out", he said, and you laughed.

"Hey, I didn't only do that. I also had sleepovers with girls I never spoke to since we graduated from high school, and went on a bunch of dates with guys I didn't really like", you answered, and it was his turn to laugh.

"Hm, doesn't seem like a very satisfying life to me", he whispered, moving his lips to your neck, and you nodded lightly. "Did you ever bring them here? To your room?", he asked, and you laughed. "No, my parents would die. They were quite liberal, but not like that. When I went on a date as a teenager, I had to go to their place later if I wanted some action, you know", you answered, and he started to move his kisses to your jaw. You knew what he was about to suggest.

"I know, Y/N... So, I'm just wondering, am I the first guy your parents are allowing inside your room?", he said, his breath on your jaw giving you goosebumps. "Yeah", you answered, and he kissed under your earlobe. "The first guy to sleep on your bed?", he asked, and you said "Yes".

"How are your parents allowing this, miss Y/L/N? Such a nice girl from such a nice family, locked inside her room with a british drummer", he said, his voice low and husky, moving you closer to your bed. But you wanted to take it slow - it was a special event, indeed.

"Not that I'm trying to break your roleplay, Roger, but we literally share a flat. It would be silly for them to get the guest bedroom ready for you", you said, and he scoffed, breaking away from your neck and looking at you.

"Yeah, but it would be hotter", he said, going back to kissing your jaw. "Imagine how hot it would be if I had to wait until your parents slept so I could leave the guest bedroom", he said, getting you to sit on the bed, "And then I would've to walk, very carefully, through the hallway, trying not to wake them up", he continued, laying you down on your back and moving on top of you, then going back to kissing your neck and cleavage as he completed, "Just to open your bedroom door and find you touching yourself, moaning my name".

"That would be pretty hot", you agreed. "Maybe I should get them to move you to the guest room", you shrugged, teasing him, and he stopped kissing your cleavage just to look at you and say "Don't you dare", before kissing your lips.

That night was a bad memory to have running over your head again and again as you laid on your bed every night to go to sleep, alone, a year later, after breaking up with Roger, in 1975.

Your grandma convinced you to seek help, and you tried everything: therapy - your parents looking at you weirdly because getting a therapist was still associated with severe mental illness, meditation, mediums, aromatherapy.

You didn't knew exactly what worked, but a year after you arrived, now in 1976, you were already in your new SoHo flat, having moved out of the Upper East Side, the neighbourhood you - and Roger - knew that didn't really have much to do with you, even though it was closer to the Met, where the work was interesting - and where you barely ever saw Will, uncomfortable looks exchanged between the two of you every time you had to see each other.

It was a cold winter day in December 1976 when you got up, your loft nicely illuminated, spacious, the soft light from the snowy day making everything seem more magical. The building was quiet, your artistic neighbours still asleep this early in the morning, and you made yourself some tea - with milk - and opened the window so you could sit on the emergency exit.

The street was also quiet, the only sound being a muffled free jazz, that was probably being played live in a grand piano inside one of the many lofts on Greene Street. It was then, the cold wind making your skin burn under the layers of sweaters, the tea getting rapidly cold, the jazz caressing your ears, when you realized you were not sad anymore.

You didn't feel that weight on your chest now, when you breathed in, filling your lungs with fresh, cold air, and you didn't feel like you had no control over your life. You were present, in the moment, and you felt happy. Happy with your life. Happy with yourself.

And you enjoyed this feeling, without thinking much, for as long as you stayed outside on the emergency exit; until you finished the tea, until the jazz player stopped, wherever he or she was.

Once you got inside, thinking about preparing a nice, warm bath, you walked by the phone, and you wanted to call Roger.

You wanted to call him many times before, but you were always desperate, regretting breaking up with him, or sad, just trying to know how he's doing, how the boys are doing.

But now, you didn't feel anything negative make you want to call him - you just wanted to let him know that you're happy again.

But that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to call him in the middle of the day for him - he probably wasn't even up yet.

So you went inside the bathtub and just felt grateful for meeting him, for having the opportunity to have him in your life. Now, it was peaceful.

Now, back at the F train to your house from Coney Island in 1977, you're taken out of your thoughts when you see a blonde head pass in front of you, but you don't feel nervous anymore - you knew it wasn't Roger.

You always thought you saw him, especially in 1975, your first year back in New York - always nervous, always imagining that he was just trying to see you, to talk to you, maybe to try to take you back to England with him.

You saw him everywhere, in those first weeks, still in your parents apartment, thinking he might be on you M86 bus to work, or maybe in this fancy cocktail party you attended.

But one time, in 1976, you could swear you saw him on the stairs at the Met as you bought a hot dog from the stands in front of the museum - the guy's hair was shorter and bleached, just like you saw in the pictures of Roger that appeared on magazines, and he looked confused. But you didn't really investigate it, though - it was probably just another guy, maybe even inspiring his own look in Roger's.

Your train reached your station and you finally got back to Greene Street, walking slowly to your building, taking in the view of your street. Now that you're far from Queen, you can see their importance, their impact on the world.

You watched as songs you saw get written and sung and produced right in front of you became huge hits - Deacy's song to Veronica reached #1 on the american charts. A song you saw get recorded in a weekend visiting your boyfriend as he worked - that's how you saw it.

You bought their new album in the end of last year, 1976, A Day at the Races. You loved it - it was probably your favourite, and you didn't knew if it was because their music was getting better or if it was because this was their first album you could enjoy as a fan, not being involved in how it was made. You liked to watch their TV specials and interviews, feeling grateful that you ever got to be around them, even though life - and your own, unconscious choices, you now realized - took you away from them. From Roger.

You loved You Take My Breath Away and Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, but Drowse truly held a special spot in your heart - maybe you only loved it so much because it was Roger's, and it sounded like talking to him about his childhood, something you've done many times before, but maybe you didn't love it just because you were biased by your story with Roger. The song sounded more american, and it even made you feel like you felt when you listened to Fleetwood Mac. You smiled at that thought.

Once you got home, you picked your mail and started going through it.

You weren't really paying attention to it - you were thinking about the Fleetwood Mac show you would attend next week for the Rumours tour, in the Madison Square Garden, when a heavier letter caught your eye.

The paper was soft, creamy beige, and sealed with wax. And then you read what was written over the envelope.

It was a letter sent by the Curator of Palaeolithic and Mesolithic collections from The British Museum.

---

Chapter 17

Masterlist

Taglist:

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos

[umbreeonic]

ummmm purple through black : ^ )

Wljvwpuwv ofc u would… smh

(Purple: 10 facts about my room)1. It’s absolutely a mess ty depression2. I have a loft bed3. I also have a chair that folds out into a bed that I’m lying in rn instead of my actual bed bc I had a sleepover like two weeks ago and I was too lazy to move my sheets to my bed from the chair4. I have a peeling wallpaper border that’s high school musical, however it’s a sticker kind of wallpaper and underneath that is a Disney princess border5. My room is pink. My brothers is also blue. Yes I am ashamed of this6. I have a four story shelf my dad made just for me7. My shutters are fucking weird idk what’s up w them or even how to explain them they’re just. Weird8. There’s like a little mini hallway for a foot and a half at my doorway bc the bathtub juts out too far9. The hatch to the bathtub plumbing is in my closet. Not fun when ur brother messes up the pipes so the plumber is in ur room for hours fixing it :)10. I have two of my great grandmas painting hanging on my wall, they’re both of roses

(Blue: 9 facts about my family)1. Paternal side is almost 100% Dutch and there’s only ~200 people in the world with our last name. It also is a weird Dutch last name because it doesn’t start with a V2. I’m descended from John Alden, the only sailor who stayed behind with the pilgrims and also the one guy to fall overboard on the Mayflower3. My biological great grandfather was a shitty husband and a shittier father but apparently his marriage after my Mimi divorced him really helped him and he managed to stabilize his life4. One of my uncles is ukranian and descended from the woman who brought Christianity to Russia5. One of my ancestors is a character in Macbeth, the dude who has “of Scotland” at the end of his name (since he was also a real person)6. My aunt was in a car crash at 17 and had a year long coma and has lived with severe rain trauma ever since, she actually has a book about it too 7. Another aunt has six kids, three biological and three adopted; she and I will fight anyone who says adopted kids aren’t real family8. My dad and his sisters and brother have a bunch of awesome stories about growing up, my favorite is about the giant tractor their dad brought home that they used as both a trampoline and a pool9. My great uncle ran for congress and only lost by 1k votes, now he’s a lawyer and also runs a buffalo farm with his son

(Green: 8 facts about appearance)1. I’m like a perfect mesh of two of my aunts, I have ones body type and the others features2. My hair is the weirdest shit it’s light blonde from my dads side but curly from my moms and thin from ??? and wiry like my dads. Idk how hair can be curly thin and wiry all at once but my head sure does it3. It’s hard to see when I don’t have a tan but I have white birthmarks right by my eyes that are kinda similar to altean markings4. Once I didn’t wear sunscreen to soak city when I went with a friend and I got bright pink sunburn and once it healed my nose has been darker than the rest of my face5. When I was like 11 this science center close to us had a ripleys believe it or not exhibit and we went and this height predictor said I’d only grow to be 5'1" but today I’m 5'4" so suck it ripleys6. My eyes are green on the outside rim and hazel on the inside rim with tiny gold flecks throughout, and the super cool thing is that it’s literally my mom’s eyes and my dads eyes superimposed together7. I’ve always had super dark eyebrows, they’re extremely dark brown despite me having white blonde then light blonde hair8. I have super thick strong nails so it’s really easy to grow them out past a centimeter and people always point them out and say “how”

(Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood)1. I was able to pronounce words fairly easily however my cousin wasn’t. I looked up to her immensely and upon hearing her say a word wrong I would then start to say it that way too2. I hated getting in trouble in school I can count all the times I got disciplined… two time outs in kindergarten, and warning card in first grade, one warning card in second grade along with losing a teacher dollar, writing lines in fourth grade, a demerit in middle school3. The first word I ever spelt on my own was “hop” but it was completely by accident, I was writing down random letters for fun and it just so happened to spell hop in one spot. My mom bought me a picture book titled “Hop, Hop, Hop!” to celebrate4. When I was little my Mimi had an australian shepherd and every day when I’d get home from school she’d waggle her butt in happiness cause she didn’t have a tail5. Every summer until a couple years ago we’d go as a family to this kiln shop and paint a little statuette, it’s up in idyllwild where we go every summer for a camp we work at6. Said camp is practically my second home holy shit like if I wanna be super nostalgic about my childhood I’m gonna have to go with the two words “Camp Dunamis”7. When my brother was a toddler his favorite thing to do was grab my hair out in clumps. We still aren’t sure if that was a factor in how thin my hair is

(Orange: 6 facts about my home town)1. It’s named cypress because the first school planted cypress trees to shield from the wind2. My house is only a couple hundred yards from the county border so when we turn the corner we’re going from Orange County to LA3. There’s the best Mexican place right across the street that we used to go to all the time and we’re still lowkey friends with the family that owns and runs it4. We live in a homeowners association aka a gated community without a gate and this is why we avoid the crime rate cypress has5. Coyote Season™ aka “take the hiking stick so you can whack them on the nose if they go for the dog”6. The military base has a Fourth of July celebration we usually attend annually

(Red: 5 facts about my best friend)1. To start I’m gonna clarify that I’m gonna do one fact for five best friends; okay my friend emma is a Disney genius she’s forgotten more about Disney than you will ever know2. My friend daisy writes her own songs and they’re divine3. My friend kaleb is super into dnd and even made chain mail Armor for it… out of soda pop tabs4. My friend hannah is absolutely enamored by pigs and last time I checked her stuffed pig collection was over 305. My friend Melanie is fluent in German because she went to continuation school for a year there after she graduated

(Pink: 4 facts about my parents)1. They were set up by a mutual friend and literally met at our churches annual choir performance2. Mom is California born and raised while my dad grew up in both Puerto Rico and Michigan3. They both work at the same school so I’m a double staff kid4. *sighs* republicans

(White: 3 facts about my personality)1. I go from nice and sweet to absolute asshole in .01 seconds2. I am a stubborn mule, hear me bray3. I kinda just absorb certain personality traits from the people I’m close to so looking at my friend group gives a pretty good picture of my personality as well

(Grey: 2 facts about my favorite things)1. Voltron is really the first fandom I’ve /been/ in been in2. Drawing is hard and painful but you improve So Much when you join a fandom it’s ridiculous

(Black: 1 fact about the person I like)1. He’s absolutely amazing and I love him and I squeal into my pillow whenever I remember that we’re together 💚

[ecotone99]

[HM] The Weekend Writing Retreat Story

I feel like I spend so much time alone these days, and I hate it. I‘m officially taking over my tiny publishing company in about four months, and I’m so worried that I’m gonna fuck everything up. Things with my family have just been all messy ever since my mom’s accident, and I miss when we were happy and got along better. I haven’t had a girlfriend in years, and these days I’ll get depressed for like two weeks if a chick I’m into doesn’t watch my fucking instagram story. And lastly, but probably most importantly, for some reason I’m just constantly convinced that nobody likes me. And that everyone makes fun of me behind my back. And that the entire world looks at me and just sees a giant creepy old ugly loser.

Soooo...yeah. Good times.

I didn’t know how to face my problems, you guys. But I thought maybe I could just run away and forget about them for a little while.

My best friend Mark owns this little cabin in the middle of the woods somewhere like three and a half hours away. I’d been up there twice already this summer, and I really wanted to go back. Mostly because I’d found that spending a weekend in the forest with nothing to do just seemed to leave me feeling super relaxed. Whereas spending a weekend in my apartment with nothing to do just seemed to leave me feeling super shitty.

So, about two weeks ago, I started texting Mark and some of our other friends to see if anyone wanted to go camping again for a few days. Unfortunately, Mark was gonna be too busy for a while so he wouldn’t be able to go, but he said any of us could use the cabin whenever. However, the other jerks in our group text also either couldn’t go, or they, ya know, just didn’t want to. So I tried inviting a few other people, but, after a couple of days, I still sadly just couldn’t find anyone to go with me.

So I figured I could either spend another weekend alone at home worrying about my problems, or I could just spend a weekend alone at this cabin worrying about not getting eaten by wolves. And one of those sounded slightly more fun than the other.

I felt pretty pathetic going camping all by myself, but I just figured I’d call it a ‘weekend writing retreat’. Ya know, just to make it sound more like being alone was my choice.

So, this past Friday, I got out of work, loaded up my car, and simply took off with the goal of just leaving all of my stress behind for the weekend.

Soon, I was heading down the open road with the sun shining above me. I had my windows all rolled down, my music cranked as loud as possible, a cup of coffee at my side, and a bag of sour patch kids in my lap.

And, just like that, it felt like this veil of darkness was being lifted off of me. It felt like every single one of my problems were just fading away.

Then, suddenly...

“BROOOOO, HOW THE FUCK ARE WE STILL NOT THERE YET?!?”

I turned to see my best friend, Diramio, who was now sitting in the passenger seat next to me.

“Dude, chill D, we’ll be there soon. Just like another hour or so,” I replied.

“FUCK THAT. I’M CRACKING A BEER.”

“Dude, no,” I responded. “Just wait until we get there, I’m not trying to get pulled over and thrown in jail tonight.”

“BRO, YOU LITERALLY HAVEN’T STOPPED SMOKING WEED THE ENTIRE DRIVE SO FAR.”

“Yeah, well, I mean, that is a solid point,” I said smiling. “But still, fuck you, dude. My car, my rules.”

“ARE YOU EVER AT LEAST GONNA PASS ME THAT SHIT?!”

I finished hitting my bowl and slowly exhaled. Then I just looked over at him.

“...no.”

He was just like, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” and grabbed it from me.

We both laughed as we continued heading down the road. I was so happy to have Diramio with me. I just liked that dude so much, ya know. Everyone’s always liked Diramio. He’s fucking hilarious and just fun as shit to be around.

The rest of the ride was just a nonstop back and forth of the two of us making each other laugh. And soon, before we even knew it, we were turning down the stone path to the cabin. We pulled up, hopped out of the car, and just took a deep breath of that fresh forest air. Diramio quickly began unloading our stuff, but I just chilled for a few moments to take it all in.

We were surrounded by trees on all sides that danced and swayed in the breeze. There were birds tweeting and butterflies fluttering around. The sun was just starting to set in the sky above us. It was all just so god damn beautiful, man. And, for just a second, it made me think of Jane. Because, well, I guess I just kinda associated her with beauty in my head. The way she smiled the last time we hung out momentarily flashed in my mind. And the thought of us one day being together just spun in my brain.

Then, suddenly...

“Beep beep beep.”

I turned to face the stone path leading to the cabin only to be greeted by a truck pulling up next to my car. The truck parked and out hopped my best friend Mark and his fiancée Erin.

“What’s up, jerks?” Mark said as he walked over towards me and D.

“Aww hey guys!!” I replied, immediately giving him and Erin each a giant hug. “I’m so stoked you’re here.”

“Yeah, well someone needs to make sure you don’t burn the place down this weekend,” Mark responded.

We all laughed and just continued unloading our cars and heading inside. I really was beyond happy Erin and Mark had arrived. I just loved them both so fucking much. And, even more than that, I loved how fucking much they loved each other. Like, they really were just perfect for one another. And the fact that they’d each found their perfect match; well, I don’t know, I guess it just gave me hope. Like, maybe one day I’d be just as lucky, ya know.

Soon, the four of us were unpacked and getting ready to have some dinner. As we sat down around the table together; I couldn’t help feeling like we were just this happy little family.

Then, suddenly...

The cabin door burst open. And in walked my best friend, Gabe, and his happy little family.

“Yoooooo!!!” Gabe shouted as him and his two sons, Gabe Jr and Dominic, came bustling inside. “What’s up with my boys?!”

We were all quickly on our feet, greeting Gabe and the kids with hugs and high fives. I was so stoked they’d gotten there. I loved Gabe and his kids so much. I was like genuinely good friends with both of his sons. The three of us would stay up countless nights playing Fortnite together or talking about Spider-Man and stuff. They’d always refer to me as their Uncle Ian, and I don’t know why but that just made me feel so cool.

The three of them got situated and then joined us at the table, and we all enjoyed a nice meal. By the time we finished and cleaned up, it had gotten pretty damn dark outside, so we decided to head out and start a fire. Mark put me in charge of tracking down some sticks for roasting marshmallows. And I was pretty excited, because I figured that, for once, I had a job that I could easily excel at. So, with the notion of easily excelling at a job in my head, I began looking around for some sticks.

Then, suddenly...

A pair of headlights came rolling down the stone path in front of us. And out hopped my best friend Jim.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Got stuck finishing up this big project for work,” Jim said as he grabbed his backpack from his trunk and came walking up. “Good news though. I brought us a bunch of really expensive fancy liquor to get all fucked up on.”

“FUCK YEAH, JIMMY!!” Diramio shouted, clearly excited about our late-comer and his contributions.

I too was super excited to see Jim. He was the best, man. And of course he brought a bunch of expensive fancy liquor. He had an awesome job where he made a shitload of money, and yeah I mean the dude was just incredibly successful, ya know.

But, even better, he wasn’t alone!

Because Jim got out of the car.

Then, suddenly...

My best friend Rob hopped out too!

“Ayoooo!” he immediately yelled.

“Holy shit, Rob, is that really you?!” I shouted.

“You know it, buddy!”

I couldn’t believe Rob had actually come. Like, he never did anything. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, it’s just, Rob usually just liked hanging out at home, playing video games alone and stuff. He wasn’t big on going out to bars or parties or shit like that. But I was so fucking stoked that we’d somehow gotten him to join us for the weekend.

So, soon, there we were, the whole crew, just sitting around the campfire together. We drank, and smoked, and ate marshmallows, and remembered old times, and told stories, and laughed, and just talked for hours. It was such an absolute blast.

I remember feeling like I just didn’t have a single care in the entire world.

Diramio was the first to call it a night. I don’t think he really planned on it, but he was crushing beers, went inside to pee, and just never came back out. We ended up finding him passed out on the couch.

Mark and Erin were next to turn in, and they aptly took the master bedroom. Gabe and his kids followed, and they took the guest room. Jim was next, and he took the air mattress in the family room. And that just left me and Rob out at the fire, and two empty cots up in the loft.

The fire was dying out as I finished my drink and turned to Rob.

“So what do you say, man? Ready to head inside and get some sleep,” I asked, as I struggled just slightly to get to my feet.

“No, you know what, you go ahead,” Rob replied. “I’m just gonna hang out here by the fire for a little longer.”

“What, dude, really? You’re just gonna sit out here alone?” I asked.

“Yeah. Why not? I like being alone,” Rob responded.

“Umm....alright, fuck it, whatever,” I said. “I’m taking the nicer cot. Night, bro.”

“Night, Ian.”

I went inside the cabin leaving Rob alone by the fire. Everyone else inside seemed to already be asleep, so I kept all the lights off and just did my best not to make any noise as I crept to the bathroom. I brushed me teeth, peed, and then made my way up the little wooden ladder to the loft. Then, I lied down on the nicer cot.

There was complete silence throughout the cabin, but I could still hear the trees blowing outside, as well as the faint crackling of the fire. I glanced over at the empty cot across from me. I couldn’t believe Rob had chosen to just sit outside alone like that. How could he like being alone?

For the first time since I’d left my apartment that afternoon, I started to remember my problems. And being alone was the very first one.

I felt like I spent all my time alone these days, and I hated it.

A sadness fell over me.

And a veil of darkness fell over the entire cabin.

Rob just sat outside, alone, staring at the fire. But then he heard a noise.

He turned around to face the forest behind him. There were just trees and darkness.

But then, again, he heard a noise.

“Hello?” he said sheepishly, “Is somebody there?”

He continued looking out into the woods, but he couldn’t see anything.

Then, suddenly...

He spotted a pair of blood red eyes staring back at him.

Then another.

And another.

Before Rob even had a chance to react; he was being attacked.

He tried to defend himself, but they just came at him from every direction.

He fought the best he could, but there was only so much he could do...against teeth and claws.

And so, only a few moments later, Rob’s lifeless, bloody body was just being dragged off into the darkness.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of fresh coffee coming from the kitchen. I slowly crawled to my feet and slid on my slippers. Then I stood up and went to head down the little wooden ladder from the loft. However, first, something caught my eye.

I glanced over at the cot across from mine. And Rob wasn’t in it. In fact, it looked very clearly like he hadn’t been in it at all the previous night.

Either way, I made my way down the little wooden ladder from the loft and couldn’t help but smile as I walked into the kitchen full of my loud dumb friends. Gabe and his kids were working on cooking eggs for everyone. Mark and Erin were doing the coffee and toasting up some bagels. Jim was sitting at the kitchen table typing away on his laptop. And Diramio was just, somehow, still passed out on the nearby couch.

“Yo IK, got coffee for you,” Mark said, handing me a cup.

“Dude, you fucking rule,” I responded.

I grabbed some milk from the fridge and walked over to the table.

“What are you working on, Jimmy?” I asked as I took a seat.

“Oh just catching up on some emails from clients,” he replied.

“You fucking nerd,” I responded.

“Hey Ian, what’s the deal with Rob?” Gabe asked. “Was he still asleep when you came down? He’s gonna miss breakfast.”

“Wait, what? He’s not down here?” I responded.

“No, didn’t he sleep in the loft with you?” Mark asked.

“Uhhh...I don’t think so. Like, he was still out at the fire when I went to bed, and the cot across from me didn’t really look slept on this morning.”

“Well, where the fuck is he?” Jim asked.

We all just looked at each other.

“Dude, don’t tell me he fucking slept outside,” I said.

Mark, Erin, Jim, and myself all went outside and walked over towards the fire pit. But there were no signs of Rob.

“Ummm, holy shit, you guys,” Erin said, starting to freak out a little. “Like, seriously, where the fuck is he?”

We all quickly began to grow quite frantic.

We started shouting his name. We went back through every room in the cabin. We checked our cars. There was just simply no trace of him anywhere. He was just gone.

By now, Gabe and his kids had abandoned making breakfast, and all of us just stood outside the cabin panicking. Diramio finally woke up and stumbled outside wondering why we were all being so fucking loud.

“Dude, Rob’s missing!!” I shouted.

“Oh man, is that all you guys are worried about?” Diramio replied groggily. “I thought you guys were saying we GOT robbed. I was praying they didn’t take the rest of that fancy expensive liquor.”

“Diramio, that’s not funny,” Erin replied.

“Guys, relax,” Diramio responded. “Rob probably just went to take a shit in the woods or something and got turned around. I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Bro, you get turned around in these woods, and you’re fucked. Like, he could be lost for days out there,” Mark replied.

“Well then,” Jim said, stepping up in front of us, “...we better go find him.”

“Dude, fuck that shit,” Diramio answered.

“Shut up, D,” Jim replied, “You’re coming with me, and we’re going north. Mark, you and Erin go south. Gabe, you and Gabe Jr. go east. And Ian, you take Dominic and go west. We’ll search for an hour and then meet back here. Everyone be careful. Don’t get lost. And, most importantly, find Rob.”

Jim taking charge worked and soon we were all heading out into the woods to find our missing friend.

Dominic and I followed along an old ATV path deep into the forest. We continued shouting Rob’s name as we hiked, but of course our calls went unanswered. We’d been walking for about a half hour or so when suddenly a bird flew out right in front of me, causing me to scream like a little girl. Dominic started dying laughing.

“Shut up, little dude, this is why I didn’t become a professional forest ranger,” I said.

“Yeah, you’re not a professional anything,” Dom responded still giggling.

“Hey, ya jerk, that’s not true. I run my own company. That’s gotta be worth something,” I replied defensively.

“No, you don’t,” Dom responded.

“Well...okay, no I don’t. But I’m second in command. And my boss is retiring at the end of the year, then I’m taking over. So, soon, I really will be in charge.”

“Uncle Ian, I can’t picture you in charge of anything,” Dom replied.

“Dude, shut up,” I answered. “Right now, I’m charge of you so stop being a little dick and let’s get back to trying to find our friend.”

“Fine,” Dominic said. “But I’m telling my dad you called me a dick.”

The two of us continued making our way through the woods searching for any trace of Rob. However, as we walked, stupid little Dominic’s words kept echoing in my head. He was right. Like, I shouldn’t even be in charge of my own life. How was I gonna be in charge of a company?

Once again, I was suddenly reminded of another problem I’d gone on this trip to escape. I’d be taking over this company soon, and I just legitimately had absolutely no idea what I was fucking doing. I was so nervous that I was gonna just end up completely out of business in less than a year. I’d always been a pretty shitty employee at every job I’d ever had. So I couldn’t help but imagine I’d be an even shittier boss. I wished I was a hard-working, ambitious, go-getter like Jim. But I knew I wasn’t. And I knew I never would be.

For the second time since I’d arrived at the cabin; an immense sadness washed over me.

And a veil of darkness fell over the entire forest.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the forest, Jim and Diramio had just found a clue.

“Diramio, does this look like blood to you?” Jim asked, as he pointed out a small spot of red on the trunk of a tree.

“I don’t fucking know, bro,” Diramio responded. “Can we just go back to the cabin? I need a drink.”

“Dude, Rob’s fucking lost in the woods and could be dead for all we know,” Jim replied. “How are you not taking this seriously?”

“I mean, I am, but I also just seriously need a drink.”

Suddenly, just then, the two friends heard a noise. Nothing big, but just a little rustling from a bush a few feet in front of them.

But then, there was another rustling. From a bush a few feet behind them.

Then one from their left.

Then one from their right.

Then, without warning...these huge fucking wolves emerged and began to surround them.

That’s right. Giant, hungry, scary-looking wolves.

They had bright red eyes, sharp claws, and massive teeth.

“Holy shit,” Jim whispered. “Diramio, don’t move. If they attack, our only shot at fighting them off is working together. You with me?”

There was silence.

“Diramio?” he said again.

Still, no answer.

Jim finally turned just in time to see the back of Diramio’s shirt as he was sprinting away.

“Diramio, you motherfu....”

Jim never even got that last word out before the terrifying beasts surrounding him pounced.

And, moments later, his lifeless, bloody body was just being dragged away into the forest.

Dominic and I returned to the cabin almost the same exact time as Gabe and Gabe Jr. Neither of our groups having found any hints at all as to an explanation for Rob’s disappearance. Mark and Erin got back soon afterwards, and they too had failed to find anything. The six of us just stood around fearing the worst. We decided if Diramio and Jim also returned empty-handed, then we’d just go to the police and hopefully they’d be able to help.

Time ticked by as we waited for Diramio and Jim to get back. We were just starting to get worried about them when suddenly we heard Diramio screaming off in the distance.

“FUCK...

THIS...

SHIT,

BRO!!”

He finally came bursting through the trees near the cabin, and, as soon as we saw him, we could all instantly tell something was seriously wrong.

Diramio ran right past all of us and straight inside.

We all looked at each other. And then we followed him.

As we walked in, Diramio was already over by the kitchen table, straight up pounding the bottle of fancy expensive liquor Jim had brought.

“Hey, uhhhh, D,” Mark said softly, “Where’s Jim?”

Diramio kept chugging from the bottle until it was completely empty. Then, he slammed it down on the table in front of us, took a deep breath, and simply said...

“Jim just got eaten by wolves, you guys.”

“No, seriously, where is he, Diramio?” Erin asked.

“BRO, SERIOUSLY, JIM JUST GOT FUCKING EATEN BY FUCKING WOLVES!!” Diramio shouted. “HUGE WOLVES WITH SCARY RED EYES. THEY SURROUNDED US OUT IN THE FOREST. I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO FIGHT THEM OFF, BUT JIM BEGGED ME TO RUN AWAY AND SAVE MYSELF.”

“Dude, Diramio, stop fucking around, man. Enough is enough,” Mark said, beginning to sorta lose his cool.

“Guys, for real, I’m not fucking around. Jim just got eaten by wolves. I’d be willing to bet Rob did too. We gotta get the fuck out of these woods, right now,” Diramio said, with a stark sternness to his voice none of us had ever heard him use before.

As crazy as it sounded, we figured maybe Diramio was actually telling the truth. But, either way, now TWO of our friends were apparently missing. So it was definitely time to leave the woods and go to the cops. We all began packing up our stuff and getting ready to head into the closest town.

However, Erin walked outside to load up Mark’s truck, and a split second later, we all heard a terrifying scream. We rushed out front and quickly saw that Erin had a made a gruesome discovery. The tires on all of our cars had been slashed. Well, more than slashed really. They were all completely shredded. It almost looked as though they’d been...clawed.

“Yo, you motherfuckers believe me now?” Diramio yelled. “The fucking wolves did this!”

Now, none of us knew what to think. We all just ran back into the cabin to regroup.

“Listen, guys,” Gabe said, “wolves or no wolves, something fucked up is clearly going on right now. And I gotta get my kids out of here safely. I’m their dad. They’re my family. I have to protect them.”

“Wait,” Mark shouted. “I have my four-wheeler outback. You and the kids can take that to get to the nearest town and then send help.”

We all ran outback and were relieved to find the ATV’s tires were still in good shape.

Gabe, Gabe Jr., and Dominic all climbed on board.

“Stay on the trails, and you should be fine,” Mark said. “You’ll hit a pretty major road in about fifteen miles. And if you follow that, you should eventually reach the town.”

“Don’t worry, I got this,” Gabe said. “You guys just stay safe. We’ll send help as soon as we can.”

With that, Gabe and the kids took off on the ATV, leaving behind just Mark, Erin, Diramio, and myself.

“Yo, I don’t understand why they get to leave, but we’re stuck here,” Diramio said, as the four of us began walking back into the cabin. “I mean, I like Gabe’s kids, but I also kinda like not getting eaten by fucking wolves.”

We all kinda nervously chuckled as we headed inside. However, I was a few steps behind the others, and I just kinda stopped in the doorway for a moment. I turned and looked back at the dust trail Gabe had left behind. I prayed that him and his kids would be alright. I thought it was so impressive that he’d stepped up to protect his family like that. I thought about my family. I already knew we’d never do anything like that for each other.

And just like that, another problem returned to my mind. Things with my family were just so messy. My mom had been the glue that held us all together, ya know. So, ever since her accident, it just seemed like we’d all been coming apart. I felt like my brother hated me. I felt like every conversation I had with my dad would eventually just turn into an argument. I felt like I wasn’t helping my sister enough as she struggled to take care of everyone. I just missed when we used to be a happy little family. Like Gabe and his kids.

Once again, sadness filled my heart.

And, once again, darkness filled the woods.

Gabe and his kids were flying down the narrow trail. He figured they’d probably already gone at least a dozen miles and should be hitting the main road soon. Gabe Jr and Dominic clung on tightly to their dad’s back as they sped along.

Suddenly, Dominic spotted a dark blur moving quickly through the wilderness on their right side. Then, Gabe Jr. noticed the same thing on their left. They quickly began trying to get their father’s attention over the loudness of the four-wheeler.

It soon worked, and Gabe turned around, only to immediately see multiple giant fucking wolves chasing right behind them on the trail, as well as along both sides of them. He cranked down on the gas in an attempt to get away, but it was no use. They stayed right there with him. Finally, one came running up from the side, causing Gabe to swerve in the other direction. He lost control and the four-wheeler careened off the trail and right into a tree. Gabe and his kids were all sent flying. Then, dozens upon dozens of hungry terrifying wolves just quickly descended upon all three of them.

And, sure enough, soon, their lifeless, bloody bodies were just being dragged away into the woods.

The sun was just beginning to set in the sky outside the cabin. Inside, the four of us were just doing our best to keep our shit together. By now, it had been at least a few hours since Gabe had left, and we still hadn’t heard anything from him or the help he was supposed to send. The shitty tv in the family room only got a handful of channels, but we’d managed to find one playing a marathon of old Home Improvement episodes. So, we all just sat there quietly, watching Tim the Toolman Taylor.

But, eventually, Diramio broke the silence.

“Dude, this is so fucked up. Gabe and his kids should’ve reached that town hours ago and sent help. I bet they got eaten by wolves.”

“Diramio, shut up, don’t say that,” I replied. “Even just joking around about Gabe’s kids dying seems super messed up....”

“Fuck that, I’m not even joking,” he replied. “I bet they got eaten by wolves, and I bet soon we will be too.”

“D, relax,” Mark said. “We’re not gonna be eaten by wolves. Help will come.”

“Yeah, but what are we gonna do if it doesn’t,” Diramio responded.

Mark tried to reply, but he didn’t really have an answer.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Diramio said. “You don’t know what we’re gonna do. But I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do...I’m gonna get super fucked up.”

And with that Diramio stood up and walked out of the family room.

After he left, Erin turned to Mark and said, “Babe, for real, what are we gonna do if help doesn’t come?”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Mark said, putting his arm around his fiancée. “Help will come. And until it gets here, I’m not gonna let anything happen to us.”

“Promise?” Erin asked.

“I promise,” Mark said. “Plus, babe, this cabin’s made out of bricks. So even if there are big bad wolves out there; going by three little pig logic we should be safe.”

Erin laughed.

“I love you, Mark.”

“I love you too.”

As I witnessed this conversation between my soon to be married friends, I couldn’t help but to feel a tiny bit of jealousy. Well, actually, I felt a shitload of jealousy. I wished I had someone who loved me.

I wished Jane loved me.

Once again, a problem I’d managed to momentarily forget rushed back into my head. I don’t know why I fucking liked Jane so much, you guys. Like, seriously. I know she’s never going to want to fucking be with me. But I just can’t help it. No other girl makes me feel the way she does. Bro, this shit isn’t fucking fair. I just wish for once a girl I was into was actually into me back, man. How come that never fucking happens for me?!? Like, what the fuck is so wrong with me, you guys?!?!?

The sadness hit me this time like a punch to the face.

The darkness surrounded the cabin like a flash flood.

Then, suddenly...

CRASH!!! CRASH!!! CRASH!!! CRASH!!!

Wolves violently burst in through every single window of the cabin.

“Holy Fucking Shit!” Mark screamed. “The pig story never mentioned windows!!”

The wolves lunged for Erin, but Mark dove in front to protect her. There were just too many wolves though. They quickly tore right through Mark.

“Ian, help!!” Erin screamed.

But there was nothing I could do. Wolves just continued flooding in through the windows, and I had no way of getting to her before they did.

“Erinnnn!!!!” I shouted as I watched them viciously bite into her.

“YO MOTHERFUCKER, WE GOTTA MOVE!!”

Before I knew what was happening, Diramio was yanking me out of the family room, which was now completely overrun by wolves. We quickly ran through the cabin as more and more of the monstrous beasts came bursting through every window and doorway.

“QUICK, GET UP THE LITTLE WOODEN LADDER TO THE LOFT!” Diramio shouted as the two of us dashed past more of the ferocious killers.

We reached the little wooden ladder and quickly climbed up just before they got to us.

Diramio and I looked down from the loft at what appeared to be at least a hundred terrifying wolves staring back up at us with their big red eyes and giant teeth.

“IAN, BRO, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA DO?!?” Diramio shouted. “I DON’T WANNA GET EATEN BY WOLVES!! I DON’T WANNA FUCKING DIE, DUDE!!”

Unfortunately, hearing Diramio say that he didn’t want to die...once again caused immense sadness to wash over my body.

And a veil of darkness to cover my entire world.

Because, just like that, my last and largest problem suddenly popped back into my head.

“Well, of course YOU don’t want to die, Diramio,” I quietly said. “Why would you? People actually like you.”

“Wait? What?” Diramio responded. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean.”

“Nothing, man. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Bro, I’m here, you might as well talk to me.”

“Dude,” I responded, “that’s the problem...you’re not actually here. You’ve never actually been here. Nobody ever was. I literally couldn’t find a single fucking person to go camping with me this weekend. So I just had to go alone. Because nobody fucking likes me, man. Everyone says their my friend. Everyone says they care about me. But nobody ever wants to spend time with me. Nobody ever wants to hang out. Nobody ever wants to do anything.”

As I spoke, the wolves below began growing more restless and aggressive. They soon started figuring out how to inch their way up the little wooden ladder to the loft. And the sadder I got, the higher they climbed.

“Ian, dude, you need to stop,” Diramio said, noticing the beasts getting closer and closer. “Like, I know I’m not really here, but I still don’t wanna get eaten by a fucking wolf, bro.”

“Diramio, I don’t want to hate being alone. I don’t want to worry about work or miss how my family used to be. I don’t wanna get depressed over girls. And I don’t wanna feel like nobody likes me. But I can’t help it, man. I thought by coming up here for the weekend I could escape my problems, but it didn’t work. They followed me. And now they’re gonna get us.”

“Bro, you just need to face your problems head on instead of trying to run away from them,” Diramio shouted, as the wolves were now only inches away from reaching us.

“Dude, I don’t know how to face my problems!!” I yelled back.

“YES YOU DO, IAN,” Diramio screamed. “YOU ALWAYS HAVE.”

The wolves finally made it to the top of the little wooden ladder and went to pounce.

“Howwww, Diramio, just tell me!” I screamed at the last moment.

“Well you called this a weekend writing retreat, right bro?” Diramio said, as the wolves closed in around him.

“Maybe you should try fucking writing...”

And with that, the wolves attacked Diramio.

“NOOOOO!!!” I screamed.

But it was too late.

They quickly began dragging him back down the little wooden ladder.

However, what he had just said struck me.

Like, I HAD called this a weekend writing retreat.

And, well, maybe that was the secret here, man.

Maybe, instead of using this weekend to try to escape my problems, I could literally do the exact opposite, and use it to face them.

I could deal with my problems the same way I just dealt with everything: by writing a fucking weird ass story about them.

And I knew writing about my problems wouldn’t actually solve them, you guys.

But it wouldn’t be running away from them either.

And I was never going to be able to run away from my problems.

They were always gonna be there.

Hunting me down.

Chasing me.

Just biting and scratching at me.

Like fucking wolves.

I looked down at the hundreds of beasts mauling Diramio below me.

I still wasn’t convinced writing a story about my problems would actually help. But there was one thing I was absolutely certain of.

And that’s that, if I did write a story about my problems...

I wasn’t gonna let it fucking end like this.

Because, as much I was convinced that nobody liked me, deep down, I knew that there was at least one person who did.

And I wasn’t about to let him get eaten by fucking wolves.

I stood up, took a deep breath, and just shouted, “Hold on, Diramio! I’m coming!”

And with that, I dove over the edge of the loft and into giant mess of murderous creatures below.

As soon as I landed, I just started punching and kicking and head-butting every fucking wolf around me. Somehow I managed to knock away the ones dragging Diramio, and I was fucking delighted to discover he wasn’t quite dead yet.

“HOLY FUCK, BRO!! I THOUGHT I WAS DONEZO!!” he shouted, as he climbed to his feet and joined me in fighting the onslaught of wolves coming at us.

“Nah, fuck that shit, D,” I replied. “It’s time to face this shit head-on.”

The two of us went back to back as the wolves continued attacking us.

“IAN, YOU NEED TO REALIZE,” Diramio yelled, as we both kept struggling to fight off the frenzied animals. “PEOPLE DO LIKE YOU, MAN. FUCKING EVERYONE LIKES YOU. PEOPLE DON’T LAUGH AT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK. WHEN YOUR NAME COMES UP, PEOPLE USUALLY JUST SAY SHIT LIKE, OH I KNOW IAN KINNEY. I LIKE HIM.”

After Diramio shouted that, somehow, someway, a giant sword appeared in his hands. And so he just quickly began using it fight off the wolves.

Then, suddenly...

Mark and Erin came bursting through the back door of the cabin.

“Ian, trust us,” Mark said. “One day you will find love, dude. I know it’s hard sometimes, but if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth it.”

“You just have to keep being yourself, Ian,” Erin added. “You’re an awesome guy. And maybe this Jane doesn’t realize that. But the next one will. I promise.”

As soon as Mark and Erin finished talking, they both whipped out machine guns and started blasting the shit out of wolves.

Then, suddenly...

The front door burst open and in ran Gabe and his kids.

“Bro, nobody’s family is perfect,” Gabe shouted. “But the fact that you care so much shows how much you love them. And that’s what really matters, man.”

“Plus, I know you think we’re a happy little family,” Gabe Jr. added. “But we wouldn’t be without you.”

“Yeah,” Dominic said. “You’re our Uncle Ian.”

Once again, as soon as my friends stopped talking, they pulled out weapons and joined the battle against the wolves. Gabe had a little tiny slingshot and his sons both had giant grenade launchers.

“Wait, dude, hold on,” Gabe said, “How come I only get...”

Then, suddenly...

Jim came bursting through the ceiling and landed right in the middle of the fight.

“Ian, dude, don’t worry about work, bro,” Jim quickly shouted. “Like, for real, in the last ten years, you went from dreaming about being a writer to now running your own publishing company. You’re gonna be fine. I just can’t wait to see how much higher you rise, man.”

Jim finished his quick speech, pulled out a chainsaw, and then just started massacring wolves with the rest of us.

Then, finally...

The floor of the cabin broke open and out crawled Rob.

“Ian, you’re not alone,” he said. “You never have been. You never will be. Almost everyone in the cabin has had your back for literally over thirty years now. We’re not fucking going anywhere, dude. We’re always gonna be here for you. Even if it’s just to help you fight imaginary wolves in an incredibly weird fucking story.”

And with that, Rob whipped out the golden gun from Goldeneye 64 and joined the brawl.

So, there we were, the whole crew, just fighting wolves together.

And, eventually, after a long and bloody battle; we won.

We didn’t actually kill all of the wolves. Most of them just ran away. So I knew they’d be back in time.

But, I also knew, when they did return, I wasn’t going to try to escape or run away from them.

I was just going to deal with them.

The only way I knew how.

I hope you liked this weird ass story, you guys.

It will not be my last.

THE END

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