#unblue boy

[la-imp]

My original Recom boys 😬 It’s a very shitty sketch, but I wanted to post them before I do anything else... 😤 Yes, they will get a fully rendered and clean drawing once I’m done with everything ~

They jokingly call themselves Five Knights at Freddy´s. (Mostly Decha‘s idea) they will be the new reinforcement for Quaritch‘s team. After what happened at the Titamic...

And they’re meaner, too.

anyways, enjoy ma boys 💞

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Blue's Rose - Chapter 18 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Boys Will Reveal

Blue Cavanaugh & Kulap 'Kool' Somboon

Kulap stared at Blue, he didn't want to answer him, he didn't want to say the words out loud, he also didn't want to ruin what was developing between them but he knew it would, just like he knew he had no choice but tell the truth.

Lying to Blue was an unacceptable concept to Kulap, it had no place in their relationship.

If they even still had one once he answered.

Sucking air into his lungs, Kulap started to reply when the sudden arrival of the older lady with their bowls of food stopped him.

Her withered smiling face cautioned them in a motherly manner to be careful of the hot tableware as she placed it in front of them.

Blue and Kulap both smiled back at her and offered her their thanks.

Kulap could not help notice Blue's smile was more perfunctory than genuine, his unhappiness hurting Kulap deep inside, knowing he was the cause.

With their food now in front of them, Kulap wasn't sure how to proceed.

Should he wait?

Should he let Blue eat and them recommence their conversation?

Kulap, usually always knew how to react and when to react, had timing down to a science when it came to big money deals and hardcore businessmen but he didn't have a clue how to proceed in this moment, he felt confused and not a little lost, he stirred at his food with his chopsticks, glancing up at Blue, gauging his mood.

Blue tossing at his own food, caught his look and the corner of his lips tilted up in a cheerless smile.

"You can go ahead and answer," he prompted Kulap, taking a bite of his food, his eyes, Kulap noticed not lighting up in pleasure of what he knew to be the tastiest pad Thai in Bangkok.

Kulap wondered if he even realized he had taken a bite at all for all the notice he was given to the food.

"Stop eating," he urged softly, sticking his hand out and grabbing at the chopsticks in Blue's hands.

For some reason watching Blue eat with zero enjoyment was hitting him hard, he couldn't keep prolonging this for Blue's sake.

Placing the chopsticks down on a napkin beside Blue's bowl and then laying his own down, he looked up at Blue.

Looking him directly in the eye, Kulap said...

"Yes, I am going to marry her."

Kulap swallowed, he saw the flash of pain in Blue's large dark eyes, before he shaded them with his long thick lashes, shutting Kulap out.

Nodding his head once, then again and then again, several times in short little bursts, Blue appeared to be having some sort of internal dialogue with himself inside his head.

Kulap didn't interrupt him, mostly because he was, too afraid to.

Blue's always animated face was currently devoid of expression, his unBlue-like behavior was unnerving to watch.

"Okay," Blue suddenly said, looking up at Kulap.

"Okay, I see," he said again still with the head nodding.

His face was lightly flushed, his mouth tilted in what could be interpreted as a smile if one didn't know him very well.

From the outside he appeared to be taking Kulap's answer in his stride.

If one didn't know him better, being the operative choice of words.

'Kulap knew Blue, he was upset. Hurt? Angry?'

Kulap was not sure how Blue was feeling or what for that matter, he just knew the face in front of his was a specific choice for Kulap's benefit alone.

It made Kulap feel sad, he couldn't ever recall another time Blue hadn't made himself an open book to Kulap.

Hiding himself away now, cut deep even if Kulap understood the reasons why.

Kulap watched Blue reach for his chopsticks and start eating.

He attacked his food like he was starving.

After a second's hesitation, Kulap mirrored his movements but only pecked at his lunch not even trying to match the faux gusto, he couldn't pretend that well.

Watching Blue, Kulap had to fight the impulse to jump back into the fray and explain himself, he needed Blue to understand the multitude of responsibilities Kulap faced, that it wasn't just family obligations and expectations of his family but that of the entire empire and the large amount of people they employed.

Everyone was counting on him but he didn't say a word, he knew that no matter what he said or what justification he had for his choices, it really didn't mean much in the end.

Chewing his food, Blue looked away off into the distance.

As if coming to a decision, he gave a sudden brisk nod of his head and turned back to Kulap, a small smile on his face.

"So, the Royal Theatre, how many different kinds of shows does it have?" he asked.

"I wouldn't mind going back and seeing another one," he tagged on sounding natural as if the last fifteen minutes had never happened.

Kulap looked at him with a quizzical expression but answered him nonetheless, the slightest of hesitations in his tone revealing his concern but it appeared Kulap should not have been worried because his answer prompted Blue to ask another question and so on and so forth.

Through lunch they discussed the various shows provided by the Royal Theater and when they had exhausted that particular establishment, Blue asked about others.

While not scintillating conversation, it did carry them through a peaceful lunch.

Nothing personal was mentioned or said or asked.

Their idle chatter fulfilled one objective, it helped time pass.

It also didn't keep Kulap from watching Blue.

Though he was acting as if everything was okay, there was something a little off.

Kulap could not put his finger on it,but something did not set well with him.

Was it because Blue was acting okay?

When it was all said and done, was Kulap's marrying, Mia an easy thing for Blue to accept after all?

Frustrated with himself, Kulap paid the bill and indicated to Blue it was time to leave.

He hadn't had any other plans with him tonight, at first thinking they could just hang out but after everything else, he figured Blue was probably ready to get back to the hotel.

In some ways the day had been great but in others a total bust.

If Kulap were Blue, escape would be welcome.

[desertsprng]

CHANI  STILLS  WITHIN  THIS  SPACE  BETWEEN  THEM,  a  hard  day's  labor  gathering  spice,  feeding  information  into  usul's  willing  hands,  melts  away  entirely.  she  is  young     —     sat  next  to  a  boy  with  wanting  in  the  corner  of  his  mouth  and  she  cannot  tell  if  it's  for  softer  days  or  for  the  nearness  she  so  willingly  provides.  he  does  not  have  the  eyes  of  ibad,  melange  had  yet  to  permeate  the  bloodstream,  in  their  clear  unblue  surface  much  was  revealed.  yet  more  remained  to  be  taken  if  one  only  had  the  courage  to  reach  for  it.      ❝      even  close  to  arrakeen  the  city  does  little  diminish  the  natural  beauty  of  dune.  i  cannot  imagine  a  light  so  bright  it  blots  out  the  night  sky...     ❞      was  that  not  a  shame?  to  pour  structures  deep  into  a  planets  natural  habitat,  to  lessen  the  way  of  things  with  ones  own  hands...  fremen  blend  into  dune  give  themselves  to  the  desert  so  that  it  may  give  back.  and  when  that  synergy  reached  completion  they  retreat,  prayers  on  the  tongue.

a  wrinkle  of  her  brow,  palm  moving  low  to  hover  over  the  sand,  just  to  the  height  where  the  color  shifted  at  the  eyeline.      ❝      stoop  your  height,  usul.  look  out,  beyond,  you  can  see  the  spice  this  low.  see  the  shifting  of  colors,  taste  the  difference  dusk  brings  as  the  sun  falls  away—      ❞      the  wonders  of  her  homeworld  never  cease,  she  can't  imagine  his  oceans  to  shine  so  bright,  to  give  back  more  than  the  maker.        ❝      the  heat  of  ours  days  are  long,  but  that  would  make  dawn  no  less  beautiful  either.      ❞      caladan  has  water  to  spare,  water  to  give,  water  to  lose  interest  in.  she  wonders  if  he  could  remember  the  color  of  it,  if  his  water  softness  had  turned  all  that  boyish  longing  blind.      ❝      you'll  learn  that,  i'll  teach  you.      ❞

He had wanted to hate Arrakis, to hate the seemingly unlivable conditions, the endless sand, the lack of water, condemn the planet to the place that had robbed him of his father and yet here he was, sitting on a dune with a Fremen girl, who had managed to make him realise the BEAUTY of this planet. It was not Caladan, it never would be, but that did not diminish the awe he felt just being able to sit and look up at the stars like this. Everything that had felt so foreign to him was quickly turning into something familiar, becoming a PART of him. He glanced at Chani for a moment, her blue in blue eyes more beautiful than the stars that hung over them. It was odd, he thought, how quickly something that would have been a mark of shame in his world, had become something he admired instead. Her eyes, he knew, were more than just a part of her he could find beauty in, they were a sign of RESILIENCE and symbiosis with a planet that his people had deemed almost unlivable.

Suddenly aware he might have been staring, he looked away, misuing his mother's training so Chani would not see his cheeks turning red. He was playing a dangerous game and he knew it, destined for a terrible purpose, keen on USING the Fremen — he should not get involved with Chani this deeply and yet ... he could not turn away from her either. " The stars ... " he began as he ruminated over her question, trying to push his duties aside if only for a moment. " They're not as bright as they are on Arrakis. The light of our cities prevents the light from being as visible as it is here. " And he was still lucky, for Caladan's ight pollution was far less than that of other planets in the empire. " You know, I don't think I ever appreciated them as much as I appreciate them here. The night is so beautiful here. I think I always focused more on the ocean. I expected Arrakis to be LACKING in beauty because there are no oceans. It seems I was wrong. " Speaking of Caladan ... it was not painful around her. He wondered if she knew.

[darrowsrising]

What do you think it’s like being trans in Red Rising? Do you think High Colors are more free to experiment with their gender?

I’ve always had the head canon that Orion saying herself intended her to be a man and she surprised them as her being a trans woman.

Orion is actually trans. Her saying that her sect intended for her to be boy and she surprised them was her way of saying exactly that. Blues are highly intelligent in maths, navigation, logic etc. You really think that when they expect a baby to have a gender, they get 'surprises'?

I think Pierce build their Color to be pretty much robots, in the sense that they are forced to be. Rim Dominion kills their pilots over 20 years old. Having emotion is anathema to how they are raised. They think in black and white, they live in polyamourous relationships and everyone involved acts as a family - a sect, they raise their children together, they survive together, they have certain ways of life. They don't seem to take to the unexpected and out of the norm very well.

Orion stepping up, punching Pelus, declaring to all that she is smarter and more capable than everyone in the room and sassing Darrow while asking him for a chance as captain of The Pax? Very unBlue of her.

Her Sect threw her out, because she was emotional, that plus her saying that she surprised them by being someone other than what they expected, kinda solidified it for me. I think it's called queer-coding - it's not saying 'Orion is trans', but it pretty much does - that was the very intention of the author. And even if you erase his intention, it still reads true.

Being trans in the Red Rising universe works well for some, not so well for others. I can't see it being easy in patriarchal or matriarchal societies like Red and Obsidian, obviously. Blues seem to be the only other Color - also the highest in the hierarchy - that has a problem with it.

That may be just a thing per Sect or their entire society could be like that. Golds surely enforced this very black and white belief about things to control them better, make sure that they don't express much emotion, make them use facts and absolute certainties to make them feel safe and adhere to a certain set of rules.

For the others, it seemes like...simply life. Some struggle more than others due to status, wealth, Color etc.

I am pretty sure that gender confirmation surgeries would be more popularly done at the Carver's office rather than a Yellow's. We have yet to see more of the Yellow Color and how it works, but Mickey pretty much convinced me that he carved humans however they wanted to be carved, trans or cis. I do think it would be expensive depending on options - apparently Darrow had 'donors', Eph's leg was grown out of his own DNA, they surely have hormones and blockers and everything, I think whatever one can imagine, they have it, just because the universe allows for a wide array of things to imagine and add on top of what we know.

Darrow being Carved Gold was and still is the biggest taboo in that universe. Being trans is very normal and although not digged into that much, it's very believable. Sure, there are about three Colors that are just brainwashed into being nasty, but fortunately it's dying down due to the Republic's progress. People are trying to break trauma and confront biases. Virginia also unlocked every secret of the Board of Quality Control so that people can know what was done to them and how much it's their beliefs and how much it's propaganda. Here's hoping it will be eradicated entirely.

Do highColors experiment with their gender more? Well, I think so, because they don't seem to be held down by any sort of stupid social construct that say they shouldn't try to go outside the binary.

So yeah. Pierce has a long way to go with LGBT representation - he's...not so good at it, tbh. It doesn't feel malicious on his side, but I hope he holds on unto that promise he made about more rep, show us he's grown in this department.

Howl on!

[crepuscularqueens]

anyway i’ve threatened to make one of these for long enough without actually delivering: playlist breakdown, sambucky edition

the war years - city and colour (they’ve both got a lot of shit to work through and have seen more than either of them ever signed up for! i think many a thought. there’s also a mention of a falcon which is fun to me) and can we push it all away? will we remain chained to the war years?

unblu - jenny lewis & serengeti (you know like???? yeah! loving a sad bitch, that’s what it’s about) how long will I wait for you? to become un-blue / baby, i been climbing the mountain to your heart i coulda sworn i saw a diamond shine in the dark

nobody else will be there - the national (a band im contractually obligated to include on all playlists) you said we're not so tied together, what did you mean? / hey baby, where were you back there when i needed your help? i thought that if i stuck my neck out i'd get you out of your shell like can you honestly think about that in the context of sambucky and not go bonkers? if you’re literally anyone else on the planet, yeah probably!

bet ain’t worth the hand - leon bridges (this one is for if you have the same brain disease as me and read into the sour feelings in the beginning of tfatws as “oh these two are bitter bitter exes. delicious.” bc yeah i eat that right up as you may know) i got it bad, i think you know, you're everything, you're beautiful. but my life is fast, can't make it slow, we're here right now kiss me before i go, but you got to let me go / i might regret that i can't be your man, sometimes the bet isn't worth the hand

no promises - san fermin (hoo boy! im a genius for this one!) i won't promise you if you follow me around, i won't let you down, i won't let you down, been wandering who's to say if we'll be found / pack your bags, leave your home, drive all night, do it for me

clusterhug - i don’t know how but they found me (for the absolute vibes, it’s just fun) calculated, cold, without remorse, we can go to town, we can turn around, we can do anything / as charming as we are, we are nothing but pretty trash

hot coals - cold war kids (another contractual obligation, this absolutely fucks tho. makes me absolUtely lose it folks) i don’t feel a thing walking on hot coals, no sensitivity in a fog of war try to unwind to enjoy the good life, but the pressure that i hold on my shoulders goes / he’s not the type and soldiers don’t go to hell, it’s a place reserved for the twisted and evil. now you ask how i’m feeling, i told you then, you’re gonna torture me slowly with it now there’s a LOT to unpack there! have fun thinking about it <3

big blue - vampire weekend (my fav song to put on shippy playlists with this kinda frenemies/reluctant allies to lovers energy!) when i was hurt and in need of affection, when i was tired and i couldn't go home, then you offered protection. so am i learning my lesson? or am i back on my own?

forrest gump - frank ocean (for the au energy! i actually have an unfinished wip semi-inspired by this song. maybe someday it’ll see the light of day! it’s a very loose inspiration tho jdflsjal) my fingertips and my lips, they burn from the cigarettes / you run my mind, boy, running on my mind, boy

joy - bastille (very cute to think about them for this song!) take a walk through the wreckage, clearing out my head, i hear your eyes roll right down the phone. i'm your walking disaster, keep on dragging me from self-pity, poor me

why do you feel so down - declan mckenna (pretty much the opposite perspective from joy! i like how they tie together it works very well im sexy and intelligent) so don't lie to me, i know i'm not as cool as I'd like to be, but why do you feel so down? again, i know i'm not a very good friend, why do you feel so down? sure, that's not something i'd stick around for, why do you feel so down? oh god, i know you think i'm safe and sound, i'm not / i think you're one of a kind so i'll never like myself, i think you're older and wiser so i won't let you tell, i think it over and over and hope you're thinking too, i think it over and over and hope i'm over you

waiting for your love - cold war kids (i have a permit that says i can use two songs from the same artist if i’m really feeling it, don’t worry. this was one of the first songs i thought of for the playlist btw) i was lost when i found you, prowling through the city without food, you took me into your bedroom and held me all night / i see ghosts all around you, still haunted by the wolves that would hound you. let me in to protect you, ooh baby, it's time

from eden - hozier (yes, like the song i lifted the title for my series for lmao) there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you / there's something lonesome about you, something so wholesome about you / there's something wretched about this, something so precious about this

i found you - alabama shakes (nice feel good song about being in love!) i remember all them lonely days, i traveled out on my own, then you brought me everything and you made my house a home

age of kings - the mountain goats (yet another contractual obligation. we should all know how i get about the nice boys who make the good rockin tunes) why should we hide from anyone? held you in my arms for the first time that day, felt like god's anointed when you didn't push me away

whole of the moon - the waterboys (so much of my childhood was spent listening to the waterboys, this is a special honor) i was grounded, while you filled the skies. i was dumbfounded by truth, you cut through lies / with a torch in your pocket and the wind at your heels you climbed on the ladder and you know how it feels to get too high, too far, too soon, you saw the whole of the moon

[taiwan3000]

2020

ALBUMS

fetch the bolt cutters fiona apple

god has nothing to do with this leave him out of it backxwash

untitled (black is)/untitled (rise) sault

miss colombia lido pimienta

set my heart on fire immediately perfume genius

ajai/the gentle fall/with greg from doorhoof/kdxmpc serengeti

saint cloud waxahatchee

my agenda dorian electra

sawayama rina sawayama

rosetta dua saleh

5eps dirty projectors

alias shygirl

microphones in 2020 the microphones

invisible people chicano batman

true opera moor jewelry

thank you for using gtl drakeo the ruler & joogszn

shabrang sevdaliza

melee dogleg

@@@@@/kick i arca

heaven to a tortured mind yves tumor

inner song kelly lee owens

punisher phoebe bridgers

we will always love you the avalanches

rtj4 run the jewels

quarantine recordings cavanaugh [open mike eagle and serengeti]

the unraveling drive-by truckers

songs for pierre chuvin the mountain goats

parallel/sixteen oceans four tet

shore fleet foxes

miss anthropocene grimes

time & machine cavanaugh (open mike eagle and serengeti)

motherhood no joy

ten voices why?

song for our daughter laura marling

live forever bartees strange

mystic familiar dan deacon

suite for max brown jeff parker

flood dream leya

every bad porridge radio

everything sucks princess nokia

apollo fireboy dml

last year was weird, vol. 2 tkay maidza

inner world dalai lama

SONGS

me in 20 years moses sumney

tendril/gossip lyra pramuk

weightlifters car seat headrest

body cast dua saleh

chocolate souffle shabazz palaces

vvv (they lie) pantayo

anything adrianne lenker

this hill serpentwithfeet

on the floor perfume genius

reality surf bladee

trauma homeboy sandman

i’ve made up my mind to give myself to you bob dylan

slave duval timothy

america sufjan stevens

head sport full face no age

for you india jordan

ew/pretty boy/reanimator joji

you don’t love me serengeti

creep u black dresses

full circle nas

lifetime romy

good news mac miller

unblu serengeti & jenny lewis

what we drew yaeji

concrete poppy

forever charli xcx

rascal rmr

pdlif bon iver

v lobsterfight

FILMS/TV/VIDEO

addams family tv

all gas no breaks youtube

asian americans tv

ben deen youtube

***black books tv

***brooklyn nine-nine tv

caligula anthony jeselnik

couples therapy tv

daughter (oscar short)

***dislocation blues short doc

family romance llc

***the hedonists short film

***honeyland

how to look half japanese by venus angelic youtube

in my room short doc

in the realm of the senses

madtv

no crying at the dinner table short doc

olla short film

one child nation

our time

our time machine

palm springs

pandemic special south park

the passage short film

plan b maria bamford

***quang tran youtube

***special books by special kids youtube

synthetic toad venom machine tv

BOOKS

act made simple

be mighty

critical race theory

shattered bonds

GAMES

red steel 2

super mario galaxy 2

zelda twilight princess

[nadiashofa]

Girls only love the blue who made them unblue

Lets run until our heart explode Do it to our heart’s content I am selfish. Wanted us only to see backwards Sliding down the chimney said hoe hoe hoe I’m comin back for you

We wanted to be stars so much until we certified. You'd go for skateboard and I asked for Cherry Glazerr. Let’s make a movie about crushing ourselves to the ground, break our leg in a cool, windy way. Don’t forget to make them in slow motion, uh! Everything is magical.

Nancy boy is really cool and it’s abused pop lovers–that’s why I liked it. Indie rocks and melancholy is there when you feel shit, but turns out, they have ruined our dreams! They loved themselves for being verdictive. What matters is, are we feel their sincerity? If they are not sincere, I had to tell you, we need to abort our mission, but not the babies. Till I get back.