#unbearably dorky…… love her…………

[daily-cassie-sandsmark]

[cutecatlov3r]

my character ai bots:

jjk:

gojo satoru:

his eyes r funny looking- now, you were laughing your ass off due to the fact that he took off his blindfold during a mission with a curse. you couldn’t help but laugh because he looked so stupidly serious.

wardrobe malfunction- as you walked out he stifled a laugh. “what the hell are ya wearin’?”

he’s annoying- he is so annoying. even in highschool he was unbearable to be around. you hated his annoying ass. but he loved being around you.

vampire au- “oh? the little princess is out of her kingdom? wanted to see me huh?” he teased, looking at her as she hangs upside down.

can’t get enough of him- you and gojo have been on and off since highschool. it’s like everytime you both break up you both just can’t get enough of each other…

your affair- even if you were married he still didn’t care. his feelings for you are deep. he loves you. no matter how many times you tell him you have to stop the little affair going on between you two, he simply doesn’t care

geto suguru:

dad’s best friend- “gonna be quiet like a good girl? or show your dad that you’re just a very bad girl?” he whispered in your ear. his voice deep and quiet, sending chills down your spine.

nanami kento:

healing ur daddy issues- “how’s my baby girl doing today hm?” he pat his lap, gently. “come here, sit.”

yu haibara:

he’s gone- “i’ll be back! don’t miss me too much!” he cheekily smiled. that damn smile… that would be the last time you’d ever see it again.

he’s sick- he coughs and pouts as he lays in his dorm room bed. he was squirming around, sweating and throwing his covers off him. he was currently sick, he was missing a mission that he wanted to go on so badly

he admires you- you disliked him because he followed you around like a lost puppy… he admired you, an upperclassman.

yuji itadori:

he’s delulu- meeting Itadori you didn’t expect him to be so clingy and so sweet to you. little did you know he has a huge crush on you, he is a bit obsessive but he doesn’t let you know that.

your parents hate him- the thing about him is that he is sometimes a bit dumb? he just doesn’t seem like a professional person so when your parents met him, they didn’t like him at all. but that never stopped you from loving him or the other way around

dorky best friend- currently though the two of you were on a mission, sharing a hotel room. he was in a white robe, swirling a glass of wine being dramatic. it was his first time wearing a robe and he wanted to be fancy, be in the moment like a dork.

shibuya arc- “im nothing but a murderer! i can’t forgive myself!” he cried. you stood there looking down at him. sukuna only took over his body for a minute and a lot things happened.

best boyfriend- currently, he was resting between your thighs as you both watch a movie, he used his arms to squish himself against his face some more. “i wouldn’t mind dying from suffocation if it’s with these”

gossiping w him- “HUH?! i need to hear about this, spill everything.” he said in a dramatic tone, joking.

captain of the football team-“hey, you comin’ to my game tonight? last one of the season, I need my lucky charm there to cheer for me.” he giggled, turning you around to face him, your back pressed against your locker.

older brother’s best friend- you were drunk off your ass at some party. yuji spotted you and immediately got on his feet to help you as you stumbled around. “are you okay? megumi is gonna kill you… I’ll get you home”

your his mentor- haibara and yuji had so many similarities. it hurt you to just look at yuji’s smile, being reminded of haibara who died back in your teenage years

he’s in love w you but you already have a boyfriend- yuji is no homewrecker but… currently you’ve stumbled on top of him while training him… he can’t help but think about how Yuta doesn’t deserve you. how Yuta is connected to the woman you used to be.

megumi fushiguro:

step brother- “tch. what the hell are you looking at?” he asked, scaring a guy that had his eyes on you.

yuta okkotsu:

he chose geto’s side- the day he met Geto he was nervous. Geto explained why he wants to kill everyone who isn’t a sorcerer. at the time he declined the offer to join him but later on he rethought his decision. he thought about his past. he left with Geto.

he likes when you hurt him- the two of you brawled for a bit, ending up with your knee on his back, pinning him down. one hand gripping his hair, the other hand pinning down his hand.

your a fan- gojo-sensei took you with him to greet the sorcerer that you’ve heard so much about. he was coming back from training abroad in Africa. you were excited.

helping the newbie- “hey not to be rude but do you not like me…? i feel the tension between us…” he mumbled, frowning slightly.

your other half- right now you both were walking together. he had something important to tell you, he was gonna be training in Africa in a few weeks. gojo-sensei told him he should tell you but he’s just been nervous

inumaki toge:

hajime kashimo:

noritoshi kamo:

guys I will be adding more soon, please leave some suggestions tho ! <3

[heartthumpnovel]

📦 1 & 14 and 💓1&15 for the heartthump quartet :)

Is there an item your characters doesn't like to leave without?

Jason: He’d always be carrying around a black pen. Not only is it useful to have a writing utensil on hand, but he also likes clicking the bottom and twirling the pen as it soothes his anxiety. 

Natasha: Her Pullman Pretty #5 moisturizer lipstick. She loves the color and she can’t stand having dry lips (Chapsticks taste gross for her) so she’s gotta re-apply it throughout the day.

Ellie: She has a lucky leather bracelet that she insists on wearing everyday. Ellie came across it abandoned on a trail when she was on a hiking trip in Taiwan. After an hour trying to find the owner she almost got caught in a landslide and came out of it unscathed.

Motor: He doesn’t exactly have anything that he holds onto on a daily basis, the closest thing would be his jacket since he thinks the uniform he has to wear for work looks lame and he doesn’t have that many clothes. 

Is there an item your characters is embarrassed they own or want?

Jason: Since every person that finds out about his DvD collection of mid rom-coms and hallmark movies ribs him for it, he tries to avoid talking about movies. Though there’s one person who didn’t make fun of him, while it’s definitely not her thing, she found it adorable that he’s the type of guy who’s into mush-fests.  

Natasha: Why yes her room is decorated with a bunch of anime figurines and plushies. Does she rush to hide most of it under her bed when she has guests over despite liking anime being completely socially acceptable in the current year? Also yes. Though a certain somebody might have found a stray plush and found it very endearing that Natasha felt passionate about the things she enjoys. Ellie: While it isn’t exactly an object, she is constantly on the dating app she uses and has been attempting to set up dates with women she takes a liking to. However 98% of the time it falls through due to missing dates or her taking the L in flirting. She finds the fact she’s been on that app for this long to be embarrassing considering she’s currently trying to play match-maker with her friends.

Motor: This man has no shame in anything he owns. Period.

What is a habit your characters has that others might find cute?

Jason: If it isn’t growing taller at the mere presence of her, it’s definitely the way he adjusts his glasses when focusing on something and awkwardly trying to be a gentleman by letting others ahead of him in lines/doors even if it’s more work than necessary.

Natasha: The way that she bounces her leg and nods her head to music when she thinks no one can see her makes a certain somebody’s heart race. To see her being in the moment so openly fascinates him, plus the way she would go on about her current obsession is basically music.

Ellie: If she notices something is slightly off with someone’s outfit, she’ll lean in close and try to fix that strand of string or if a button was undone. However she usually realizes she didn’t give any warning and gets flustered about it. Someone at some point may find this unbearably cute. Motor: He can’t stand being called anything near the word cute, though if his dorky nature or if he tries his best to help someone despite him being stand-offish makes somebody go “awh you’re adorable”; he’ll probably grumble and throw a weak ‘screw you’ while avoiding eye contact.

Does your characters have a sleep routine?

Jason: He had very strict 9pm - 7am, which did get interrupted with nightmares from time to time. Now with the curse, he has begun to form a bad habit of sleeping in due to him not only being forced awake by nightmares, but also surprise 3am growth spurts. Natasha: She has a nasty habit of “just another round” or “Just another episode because I need to see how this ends”-itus. Usually she’s up super late and regrets it when she has to be at work at 7am in the morning. Most of the time she is on time and manages to sneak in naps during slow work/on break. Ellie: Stays up late either with college assessments due or flirting with a girl. Unlike Natasha, she has a bad track record with being late and is lucky that she’s friends with the boss. Motor: Somehow getting the best sleep out of the entire friend group. He likes in the middle of the woods on his remote property so there’s nothing but the sounds of nature out there. He also has more of a work/life balance with his schedule being shorter than everyone else’s.

[faebriel]

could you give us some misc c!niki or c!rainduo headcanons.. missing them hours

so true anon. here are a couple miscellaneous headcanons (from the silly to the sad)

c!niki headcanons:

this is kind of a worldbuilding headcanon but i hc that some players are born to parents while others are spawned out of nowhere? niki spawned in as a kid in perfect smp and along with the other parentless kids grew up in a kind of village-raising-the-children situation. that sense of community never left her no matter where she went

she's never been very good at self-soothing behaviours, even as a kid. baking is kind of the closest thing she has and even that requires a level of focus and precision that after manberg she doesn't always have

i think she and fundy tried to give each other home piercings (nose piercing for niki, earlobe piercing for fundy) with somewhat varied results. if not for manberg they also would have discovered the stick and poke

big on gardening

she's a very poor medic - she tried to take the lead on curing tubbo's firework wounds in pogtopia but doesn't have a great sense for medicine. she had to take a lot of advice from techno which at the time she found very frustrating, as she took a while to warm up to him

her favourite baked goods are strawberry related

she also has a nigh-supernatural sense for guessing what people's favourite baked goods are on vibes alone

i think she's typically a decent advice giver but she really struggles to comprehend poor mental health in another person and in herself - she takes it far more personally than she should :( if she was a better smarter friend she would be able to solve all mental illnesses ever. makes her feel useless when her friends are suffering, and then when her own mental health deteriorates she has zero tools to detect, understand or do anything about it

part of the poor blood circulation brigade (not only are her hands freezing in winter, they are so hot in summer !! )

c!rainduo headcanons:

they would 100% do subtle dorky shit like have matching socks i think. niki has definitely knitted them at least one pair. they own l'manberg flag socks

neither of them are particularly athletic compared to their peers but they're absolute fiends in like. skipping rope competitions

they play guitar and sing together!! wilbur is a pretty prolific songwriter and she was one of the few people he'd sit down with and they'd sit there and pluck out the notes while he reworked the lyrics

in the oooold (read: pre-l'manberg) days, wilbur used to play music and sing while niki baked. he stopped doing this in l'manberg because he got too busy with the presidency, and she was never quite able to talk him into spending an afternoon on it again

they spoke very rarely in pogtopia. wilbur tended to avoid niki because he struggled to comfortably reconcile showing off how far he'd fallen with how much he'd always held niki up on a pedestal and wanted to show off his best qualities to impress her. so he just kind of avoided her. niki was increasingly hurt by this (and his abandonment of her in the first place) so she didn't really seek him out - and she figured they would be able to sort things out after the war ended and they won l'manberg back, anyway.

wilbur used to insist on showering niki with gifts on her birthday! niki is the kind of homemade-gift-bursting-with-love gift giver

wilbur picked up smoking as a stress management habit during his presidency, but niki didn't know about it until pogtopia - she once saw him put a butt out on his wrist and she ripped him a new one in front of tommy and techno and it made the cavern unbearably awkward for like three days

niki and that damn coat. okay so wilbur gave her That Damn Coat in pogtopia before the war and they were this �� close to being so damn obnoxious about having matching fits if they weren't going through the horrors of tragedy at the time. niki kept it in new l'manberg - she wore it pretty frequently, but it freaked a lot of people out (the memories were too fresh...), so eventually she did in fact stop wearing it in public. after doomsday, she picked up wearing it again (under the excuse that it gets cold down in the underground city, which would be super convincing if it wasn't thin and weedy. and it's not like there's anyone around to judge her anymore, is there? it's like the world's most fucked up comfort object except it provides zero comfort whatsoever

when she joins the syndicate phil and techno give her a lovely matching cloak with the rest of them, because it gets so cold up in the arctic. niki gets the postcard from wilbur after their reunion saying that he's gone off to utah and he's not coming back and she eventually (finally) burns the coat.

these got sad. umm pre-l'manberg they co-invented a cocktail so cursed that after one night of partying it was subsequently banned from all events ever. legend says you can go up to a gas station attendant in utah and say the phrase "soul sand skittle-savoy affair" and he will immediately gag

[ellierium]

eventually. [ellie williams] 4/5

other parts:

pt. 1

pt. 2

pt. 3

pairing: ellie/fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

cw: not proofread. disgustingly romantic writing. brief alcohol mention (they drink wine).

tags: @anchoeritic , @elliesstar , @elliewill

an: omg... chapter 4. almost done. im sorry how annoyingly deep this one is like idk im in my feelings ig. enjoy.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

It didn’t take long to get to where Ellie had planned the date. She had given no hints for what to expect, just for you to dress comfortably. The ride there was amazing; the wind, the speed, being so close to her. Once you got there, you carefully got off the bike, your legs a little shaken from the ride. Ellie chuckles at you, and you playfully flip her off, letting her come close enough to take the helmet off. 

“For your information, I’ve never been on a bike,” you defend, rolling your eyes as you fix your hair. You look around, recognizing the park she brought you to. You squint at what looks like a lamp on the ground in the middle of the field, but turn to Ellie soon after. She chuckles some more, shaking her head as she turns off the bike. You hug yourself, grinning, and bury yourself in Ellie’s jacket. It’s a little chilly outside, but not unbearable. She holds out her hand, and nods her head towards the set up. 

“Let’s go, pretty girl.”

As you two walk, you try to settle the nerves in your stomach. It’s a really pretty setting; really romantic and quite secluded. The night sky is clear for the most part, and for a second, you take a glance, just to see. When you and Ellie finally make it to the set up, she lets go of your hand to scratch her cheek. She’s nervous, suddenly, her eyes flickering between you and the ground where she has everything set up. You smile.

It’s a picnic; there’s some wine and food in the basket, and what looks to be a little cake. There’s a couple pillows next to the lamp you had noticed earlier. It’s adorable, and so very Ellie. 

“I got too nervous thinking about where to take you,” she admits, starting to sit, “So, I hope this is okay.”

You chuckle, following her lead, but sit closer to her side rather than straight across. 

“This is lovely,” you say, watching the way her face brightens up, “You can show me some of the constellations after we eat.” 

Ellie perks up at that, grinning. She grabs the wine and two glasses, beginning to pour some for the both of you. It’s comforting. The wind isn’t so bad tonight, and the air is cool and crisp. You watch quietly as Ellie starts to set up the food, and abruptly remember that this is a date, and you should ask her questions.

“How long have you been playing guitar?” You ask, and Ellie smiles, glancing at you momentarily. 

“I think I was, like, 15 when Joel gave me his guitar,” she shrugs, “I started learning then.” 

You nod, reaching for the wine she holds out for you. “Would you sing for me sometime?” You ask, before taking a sip of the wine. She barks out a laugh, and shakes her head a little.

“I’m not that good,” she says, holding eye contact with you, “But I don’t think I could ever say no to you.” 

You flush at the statement and the wine, looking away from her. The food is great, and you compliment the chef. After you eat and talk for a little while, you take the pillow and get comfortable, resting on your back so you can look up at the stars. Ellie joins you after cleaning up a little bit, and you sigh, watching the stars wink at you.

It’s quiet for a while. You both lay there, blanketed by the comforting atmosphere, your hands inches away. You try not to think too hard about it, or about anything else, really. Your mind keeps wandering; the life you live here, with these people, with this girl. It feels surreal. You’re watching the stars in the middle of a field, your pinky barely brushing against Ellie’s, trying to figure out how this came to be.

Ellie is nothing like anybody you’ve ever known. She’s interesting, and dorky, and endearing. You thought it was a joke when Dina raved about how much you’d like her. You never thought she’d be so right, never thought that someone out there could match you so well. The fear hits you like a ton of bricks; Ellie, who could probably be with anyone, has done these things for you. Has consistently chosen you to get to know, has wanted to know you since the moment she saw you. You think, for a while, that this was always supposed to happen. That only someone like Ellie could bring you here, only someone like Ellie could make you feel this kind of fear. 

Ellie has made a home in the crooks of your bones. The gaps in your heart, the curves of your brain. She is there to stay, and the thought paralyzes you. How quickly she’s become so constant. How quickly you’ve come to accept it. 

"I think the world of you," You whisper, your eyes flickering back and forth between two different constellations. You whisper, because you can’t trust your own voice. You whisper, because you can’t trust yourself. "How fuckin' cheesy is that?"

Ellie pauses, her pinky hooking with yours, finally. She’s shifting on the ground to look over at you, but you can't find it in yourself to look back. For once, you don't even think you want to. You know, like you know your own heart, that she stares with the stars in her eyes. 

"Sometimes,” she murmurs back, “I look at you and think about this quote I read a really long time ago.” You stay quiet, because the force of her words will render you speechless, anyway. 

“To love someone is firstly to confess: I'm prepared to be devastated by you.” She quotes, and it takes the breath out of your lungs. You think, distantly, that she can have that, too. Your heart, your mind, and the air you breathe, if she wants it. 

“And every single time,” she says, the rest of her fingers interlocking with yours, “You look so beautiful that I’m more than okay with that being true.” 

If there’s anything you could’ve hoped for her to say, that was more than enough to surpass your expectations. For the night, you and Ellie are vulnerable and alone. The stars in the sky keep you company, and the stars in Ellie’s eyes keep you safe. When Ellie moves forward, you move with her, and meet her half way. Her eyes are focused on your lips, and you shiver, even though you’re not cold. You’ve caught her looking at them before, but now, with her too-romantic words and her overwhelming want, it feels different. She locks eyes with you one last time, and her lips meet yours.

Her lips are soft and tase like cherry chapstick, and as much as it surprises you, it’s a comfort. The fear leaves as quickly as it came, and the content that you're left with warms you from your fingertips to your toes. You kiss Ellie back, and try to get her to feel it, too. You wish and will it to be true, that she can feel what you feel through one kiss. 

She smiles, as if she can.

[thebibutterflyao3]

Backpacking: Dorcas Meadowes/Marlene McKinnon One-Shot (Prongsfoot in the background if you squint)

Rated: M (for handsy behaviour)

Words: 2,279

Marlene batted at the visor on her helmet as she pulled up behind Sirius at the traffic light. He was showing off, per usual. The prick was smoking his tires and revving obnoxiously while he waited for the light to shift. Typical.

Traffic was heavy, so she zipped between the lanes and maneuvered around the cars, ignoring the grumbling drivers who huffed at her. That was the beauty of driving a motorcycle in the city, not having to wait in the long queue at every light. She screeched to a halt right next to Sirius, then hit his kill switch the moment the light turned green.

“Oi! What the fuck?” he shouted, his head snapping sharply toward her. “Marlene!”

Marlene smirked, dropped her visor, and took off, leaving him cursing as he restarted his bike with a long line of impatient drivers honking behind him. He deserved it, the prat. If he insisted on making a scene, she’d make sure he accomplished it. He hated her little red Honda, so it was immensely satisfying to leave him and his black vintage Harley in her dust.

A few quick turns led her to M4 and she headed west. The engine purred as she picked up speed on the motorway. There was nothing quite as divine as the wind whipping through her ponytail and tugging at the rips in her jeans. She held a hand out as she switched lanes, not bothering to flick the indicator when she was flying past cars and SUVs with ease.

The hum of the engine beneath her seat was almost as comforting as the woman waiting for her. Marlene threw open the throttle and shot forward at an obscene speed. A triumphant laugh bubbled in her throat as she shot past a sedan filled with gaping teens. She knew those looks well. Envy was her constant companion.

When the exit sign appeared, Marlene slowed just enough to slip between the lanes again before gunning it down the ramp. Dorcas would wring her neck if she knew how reckless she was driving, but the closer she got to her girlfriend’s flat, the less she cared about silly suggestions like “speed limits.” Marlene weaved through traffic on the neighborhood streets with anticipation thrumming through her veins.

It was pub night, and that meant she was driving. Just the thought of Dorcas’s arms wrapped around her waist made her shimmy excitedly. Two years in and it still thrilled her to spot Dorcas smoking so bloody casually on her front stoop, her helmet wedged between her knees. Those long legs would be pressed tight to her hips in mere minutes.

She screeched to an abrupt stop and planted her boots firmly on the ground. Marlene flashed a bright smile when she flipped her visor up. “Are you ready, love?”

Dorcas took another long haul on her cigarette before smashing it into cement. She unfolded her slim figure from the stoop with the grace of a dancer, all fluid movements and languid limbs. As if she had all the time in the world to cross the pavement, and nowhere else to be. Her long braids bounced lightly against the leather jacket she’d swiped from Marlene months ago. It was equally devastating and mind-numbing to remain frozen in her path as she approached. Marlene’s muscles screamed move, but she could only stare helplessly at the stunning woman, who for some unknown reason, deigned to give her the time of day.

“Hey baby girl,” Dorcas said, her voice smooth and silky. “Did you miss me?”

Marlene melted on the spot at the nickname. There was something unbearably sweet in the way she said it that warmed her to the bone. Dorcas knew exactly what she was doing too. Her deep brown eyes sparkled with mischief as she propped the helmet on her hip.

“Every single minute you’re gone, Dorky,” she teased. Marlene leaned in as Dorcas tilted her head to the side to peck at her lips.

“Flirt.”

“Only with you, gorgeous.”

Dorcas smirked and flicked Marlene’s visor down. ��Better be. If I hear otherwise, there will be blood shed.”

Marlene chuckled as she held out her elbow to steady Dorcas while she climbed on behind her. They both knew she wasn’t joking and that it was an entirely unnecessary threat. Marlene couldn’t even be bothered to eye up other girls when she’d already landed a stunner like her.

“No need, love. I’m all yours.”

Dorcas hummed a satisfied note as she settled in. She wrapped her braids in a silk scarf, then tucked the bundle in the collar of her jacket. Or rather, Marlene’s jacket. A small shiver raced down her spine at the thought of the soft leather smoothing over Dorcas’s dark skin.

“Are you cold?”

“No, just envious of my jacket.”

Dorcas huffed a laugh as she slid her helmet on. “Such a twit.”

“Can you honestly blame me? As fit as you are? I mean…” she trailed off, reaching back to pat her girlfriend’s hip.

“Ah, it’s that sort of night, is it?”

Marlene squeezed her thigh and grinned back at her. “I wouldn’t be opposed to skipping the pub and staying in.”

“After the week I’ve had, I need a drink.” Dorcas clicked her tongue reprovingly and swatted at Marlene’s hand. “You and your libido can wait.”

“Yeah, alright.” She couldn’t resist a light pinch of Dorcas’s leg as she pulled away.

“Oi! Stop that.”

Marlene grinned as she flipped her visor down and leaned into the handlebars. She’d been looking forward to this all week. With Dorcas’s crazy schedule at the law firm and her own chaotic days at the studio, they both needed a night out with their friends to unwind.

After a full minute of silence, she glanced back and frowned. “Hold on, Dorky.”

“No. You don’t deserve it after pinching me.”

It sounded like Dorcas was pouting, but Marlene knew better. She liked this game, and if Dorcas was in a mood to play petulant passenger, she would humour her. Marlene exaggerated an annoyed grunt and reached back blindly for her arms.

“Come on, Dorky. You have to at least hold on to my hips or you’ll fall off.”

“What hips?” Dorcas taunted playfully, prodding Marlene’s side. “How am I meant to hold on when your love handles are hidden under this?”

Marlene embraced her inner drama queen and gasped at the audacity. “Excuse me? Love handles? Dorcas Meadowes, how dare-“

“Oh shut it, you know I love your curves. I just wish I could find them under all these layers.” Dorcas patted her down, then shrugged.

“You’ll just have to backpack then.”

Dorcas scoffed, “You did this on purpose, didn’t you? Wore this boxy jacket so I’d have to hug you the whole time.”

Of course I did. “I would never-”

“Liar. Fine, you want me all up your arse?” she said, sliding forward and moulding her body to Marlene’s back. “Then, no whining if I accidentally fondle you.”

“Accidentally? Here I was hoping it was on purpose.”

Marlene finally caught hold of Dorcas’s hands and tugged them into a firm grip of her waist. She could practically feel Dorcas rolling her eyes when she playfully clunked their helmets together. It was their silly banter that convinced Dorcas to allow her a second date and Marlene wasn’t going to be caught slacking now.

“If you didn’t drive like a maniac, then maybe I would fondle you on purpose.”

Her body reacted viscerally to that admission. Marlene barely stifled a groan as she rocked her hips back into her girlfriend’s lap.

“Shite Dorky, why didn’t you say so earlier?”

“I didn’t think you could handle it.”

Marlene’s eyebrows shot up. “Is that a challenge?”

“Yes. I am absolutely challenging you to drive safely, you utter twat.” Dorcas slipped her hand into Marlene’s jacket and cupped her breast to give it a light squeeze. “If I have to feel you up to assure we arrive in one piece, so be it.”

A startled breath stuttered out of her mouth as Dorcas thumbed her nipple teasingly. Marlene was in for a challenge alright, a challenge to keep the bike upright if Dorcas continued to be handsy tonight. Not that she objected, she liked a challenge and a handsy Dorcas.

“Yes, please.”

Dorcas laughed and released her. “Best behaviour then, baby girl.”

Marlene internally vowed to drive as slowly and cautiously as possible. If she also happened to take a longer route to the pub, that was an unrelated coincidence. Whatever she had to do to prolong the delightful attention of her girlfriend’s hands was worth the effort.

“Alright,” she forced out, already breathless.

Three gentle turns later led them back to the motorway. As Marlene accelerated up the ramp, Dorcas’s warm hands smoothed down her thighs and massaged her legs through the jeans. A little thrill rushed through her and she slowed to the speed limit automatically. Dorcas’s hum of approval vibrated against her back.

Those clever fingers continued to knead into her thigh muscles as she drove, making her legs flex. It was almost painful to remain in the slow lane, but she couldn’t risk losing the delicious sensations her girlfriend sent rushing through her body. When Dorcas pressed her thumbs into the sensitive creases where her legs met her hips, Marlene shifted her stance to give her better access.

It felt so bloody good that Marlene couldn’t be bothered to weave in and out of traffic. She followed the rattling, rust-bucket of a truck in front of her at a near crawl for the entirety of the twenty kilometres they were on M4. At this rate, they’d arrive by closing.

Marlene flicked on the indicator when she spotted their exit and was rewarded with a brush of fingertips over her crotch. Her hips jerked forward and immediately the bike stalled. Dorcas laughed as Marlene pulled in the clutch slowly and guided the bike down the ramp.

“Bloody hell.”

“You need to be careful, baby girl,” Dorcas teased, resting her hands on the fuel tank. “I’d hate for you to wreck this pretty toy of yours.��

Once they coasted to a stop at the traffic light, Marlene threw the gear in neutral and reignited the engine. The bike protested at first, but eventually hummed happily again. It was lucky they were already decelerating just now. Marlene would rather not drop her bike at 96 km/h, thank you very much.

“You’re a menace,” Marlene sighed as she leaned back against Dorcas and propped her elbows on her knees.

“Mm-hmm, you like it though.”

“My fatal flaw.”

A flash of chrome and black thundered through the intersection ahead of her. Sirius flipped her off the moment he spotted her. His newly acquired rider swatted at his shoulder. Dorcas groaned, then patted the top of Marlene’s helmet.

“Were you terrorizing him again?”

“I would never.”

The light changed and they both leaned forward automatically. Marlene took off after Sirius at top speed, determined to catch up. Dorcas squeezed her tight around her middle and ducked her head. Within minutes, they were right behind him.

Sirius purposefully stayed to the right of the lane and kept an eye on her in the side mirror. His passenger was taller than him, but Marlene couldn’t tell if it was James or Remus with all of the gear on. She sidled up next to him and covered her kill switch so he couldn’t retaliate. Sirius swiped at her handlebar anyway, like a petty child.

“Oi! Stop that.” James’s voice chastised as his visor slid up. He sat back and grinned at Marlene and Dorcas. “Ladies, are you joining us tonight at the prestigious Black Dog?”

“We are, darling,” Dorcas replied, flicking her visor up as well. “Is it just the two of you?”

“Yeah, Moony is knackered and Pete’s working late.”

Sirius revved his engine and jerked forward, sending James crashing into his back with a grunt. He swatted Sirius’s shoulder again, then rolled his eyes at Marlene. Dorcas laughed as she waved to James and mimed tickling Marlene’s sides.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Sirius shouted, flailing when James’s hands twitched agaisnt his back. “I will toss you off this bike. Don’t test me.”

James shook with laughter and hugged him instead. “Alright, alright. So tetchy.”

Sirius pointed at her and Dorcas threateningly, but didn’t get a single word out before the light changed. Marlene shot out ahead of him and led the way to the pub. She saw him in her periphery every so often and blocked his attempts to pass. His loud string of curses made her grin even wider.

Just before they pulled into the car park, Dorcas’s hands started wandering again. She tucked one into Marlene’s jacket, palming her breast over her shirt, and the other gripped her thigh. It took every ounce of control she possessed to park her bike straight.

“At least Dorcas knows to hold on,” Sirius snarked, parking in the same spot. “While this fucker is trying to wave at everyone.”

James glanced at the two of them and smirked. “You want me to hold on like that? Alright then.”

He grabbed Sirius’s inner thigh and squeezed his chest. “Better, Pads?”

“What the fuck?” Sirius spluttered. He swatted at James’s hands before looking back at Marlene. “Oh, I see, you’re all being little shits today.”

Dorcas slid off the bike and lifted her helmet. “Nonsense, I’m an excellent backpack. Right, Marls?”

“The best,” she agreed readily, eyeing her girlfriend’s bum in her tight jeans. Marlene decided right then to spend the rest of the evening with her hands tucked in those back pockets.

[scriptaed]

cherry blossom avenue.

❀ genre: angst/fluff; arranged marriage!au; f2l!au;

❀ pairing: jin x reader; 

❀ length: 23.0k;

❀ synopsis: college would’ve been unbearable if it weren’t for your wallowing sessions with your best friend jin over a shared “forever alone” woe, so it really was only a matter of time until the two of you sealed a shoddy promise to betroth the other at the age of 27. perhaps it was only a silly joke to you then, but you should’ve known better nonetheless; because when a wedding invitation arrives five years later down the road with his name signed next to another’s, feelings that were once buried begin to blossom once again.

“Don’t be a homewrecker.”

What was supposed to be a light-hearted tease over your fleeting glimpses in his direction bears much more weight than even reality should have; and unbeknownst to her, even if your friend’s commentary strikes a fear in you, a fear that has some creature eating away at you and a horrifying drop in the twisted pain of your chest, the daunting knowledge of a potential truth behind her words pale in comparison to the anguish brought upon by a familiar face of the past. 

Because even as you stand far and hidden behind the crowd of overly dressed classmates and unacquainted businessmen all painted by a silhouette of dimmed black, you manage to observe him through the few albeit sure opportunities; for when the passersby chatter, cross, and weave through the lavish ballroom floor at the perfect time, place, and space for you to peep through the pinholes seemingly formed by pure happenstance or a cruel wish casted upon by fate, the clock returns to a buried state of mind.  

It’s a state of mind seven years stale, mistakenly manifested and deliberately buried. It’s a transition in mindsets when fondness sours into a longing for something that could never be, for his reciprocation of affections means much less than its origins. It’s a heavy moment when you’re finally sure he would never come to speak the language of your enamored being. It’s that fractured frame in time when everyone freezes in their tracks but a reverberating pain transcends the laws of the universe, almost as if on a personal quest to oust you; and even if you vehemently down yourself with another magical shot of liquor, nothing can quite ease the internal war stirring within.

One hand grasping a glass of red wine worth much more than a month of your salary and one arm crossed under the bosom draped over by your only presentable black satin slip dress, you’re almost numb to the turmoil that is irony. How cruel is it that even after seven years of having believed you had moved on, nothing has really changed after all? Your heart still melts in the wake of his dorky grin, your chest still winces over the buried buds of a coveted love, and your blood still runs intoxicated by the presumption that this phase of infatuation would pass with time. 

Your friendship, your feelings, your shared promise, a youth that no one had paid witness to except for you, him, and that cherry blossom tree down that street, nothing has really changed. In fact, you feel as though you could still march across this room and nonchalantly probe at your best friend’s cheek with the ultimate goal of eliciting a shriek from your best friend. 

And yet, the circumstances that have brought you back to him in this very room must have been the one cruel exception. 

“A ‘homewrecker?’” you feign a light-hearted chuckle, swirling your drink and taking another sip as you peek at the distorted glass-image of the man and the woman beside him. “And why would you say something as horrifying as that?”

“Didn’t you say you and, what’s his name,” Alex pauses before nearly gasping, “ah, Seokjin! Didn’t you say you two used to be best friends in college? You might have been his best friend but she’s his fiance now, Y/N! Plus, she’s got a baby in her, too.” 

She might have been joking, and it really should have been if you had been truthful about your feelings for said best friend, but maybe this is the price you’re paying for so dutifully holding onto your dignity; so, instead, the deep undercut of her remark instigates a stirring irritation within you. Raising a questioning brow at your friend is all you can muster without spilling your secret as well as your brewing storm. 

“Oh, so you actually do remember what I say when you’re only a minute from blacking out?” 

“Hey,” your friend recognizes the anger seeping through your body language, stifling a giggle as she tries to bump your elbow and stumbles over her heels, “it was a joke, okay? I’m just looking out for my friend!”

“Right, what is there to even look out for?” 

“Well,” she points a finger at the direction you had just been staring off into a minute prior and leans in to whisper, “you’ve been staring at the newly engaged man for much longer than the woman beside him, if that says anything—”

“—uhuh, as if, hey!” you almost yelp as you help her stand upright once again. A scoff of disbelief escapes your lips over the sight of your friend letting herself go. Grabbing her glass and swiftly placing it onto the tray of the many passing waiters, you squish her cheeks and give her a light pat or two. “The only person you need to worry about is yourself. Why are you even wearing those ungodly stilettos when you can’t even wear kitten heels without whining all day at work?”

“Hey,” Alex pouts, bending one knee and jutting her hips to show off those torturous pink devices on her feet. “I told you about my ex from high school, don’t you remember?”

“So it’s okay if you’re trying to impress an ex from high school, but I’m not even allowed to glance at my old best friend?” you quip, pressing your lips into a thin line as you take another gander at your friend up and down. “And what does excessive drinking even have anything to do with it?” 

She flashes you a mischievous grin, “for confidence.”

“I can’t with you,” the roll of your eyes must have agreed, “and what about the classmate friend who actually invited you to her engagement party?”

“Oh,” Alex glances at the woman beside Jin and shrugs, “she’s alright. She’s that typical good girl. Too smart, too kind, too good at everything that you really want to hate her but have no reason to do so. I’m sorry, Y/N, but your best friend is devilishly handsome and I’m not surprised she’s marrying someone of her league.” 

“Pfft, why are you apologizing to me?” you scoff, ushering her to the washroom and shaking your head along with the stream of confusing emotions that hit you like a truck. “Go wake yourself up before she or, gasp, worse yet, your ex spots you.” 

“Oh my God, you’re right,” she gasps, shuffling in her skintight red bodycon dress and whirling around once more to call out before finally disappearing, “let me know if any boy comes looking for me!” 

“Uhuh, yeah, sure,” you shoo her away, taking another sip from your glass and muttering under your breath, “...how am I supposed to recognize your high school classmates?”

Now that your friend is gone and you’re left all alone to your thoughts, you go against your own advice and down another glass of liquor. 

You may have been his best friend but she is his fiance. 

Well, if Alex is a good judge of character, then at least a good man like your best friend has found an equally respectful woman. It might have hurt to hear her words, but Alex isn’t exactly wrong. At the very least, you could sigh in relief having known you’re genuinely happy for your best friend’s future. 

It’s just that the truth hurts sometimes. 

Relief isn’t an excuse for lingering onto a soon-to-be-married man, regardless of when these emotions came about. 

People are chattering all around you, strangers and former acquaintances are bustling about, familiar college classmates are greeting the bride-to-be’s high school classmates, and yet here you are: aloof and isolated even in a room of hundreds, fixated and more distant than you have ever been to the boy you had once cherished as the closest anyone could get to knowing the real you. 

No one would know but Jin. 

The real you.

The you who could not have moved on because she couldn’t recognize her own feelings until seven years down the road with a wedding invitation in hand, seven years after the buds had been sowed, seven years too late. 

The one who stands pathetically here in the corner of a room, secretly hoping for him to approach her but also wishing for the night to pass unnoticed just like she had wished for her buried affections to pass.  

So you shuffle in place awkwardly, pondering whether you should’ve caved into Alex’s pleas and attended this posh get-together, debating whether you should dip once your friend realizes her high school ex just isn’t worth it, sipping the remainder of opulent liquor and taking one last peek at the boy, when, your heart strikes loudly against your chest…

...because his eyes catch yours, a pair amongst hundreds, one invitee amidst an endless swarm of crowds, almost as if on a planned rendezvous, a secret unbeknownst to everyone in the room but the two of you.

Eyes widening in shock, the drums of your chest hammer against you, each strike pumping a nearly painful high that fuels your fight or flight mode. The debate between confronting your longtime friend and fleeing said friend did not even cross your mind at the start of the predicament. Quickly whirling around, head down and hands gripped to your drink, your feet move on its own. 

A familiar series of clicks echo against the polished marble tiles. You don’t even have to turn around to recognize those homecoming footsteps, those awe-inspiring confident strides as he makes his way across the room. If this were you from seven years ago, you would have welcomed him with open arms and he would have claimed you were just acting sweet to bargain for some fresh pastry, but the unfamiliarity of a stranger you have yet to reconcile with has you in an unexplainable panic. 

After all, it’s hard to explain why exactly his persistent pursuit after you, after seven years of distance, both emotional and physical, frustrates you to no ends. 

Your hands form fists, your feet storm down the halls, and your mind could repeat nothing but the words you had excused as “just a light-hearted joke.” 

You may have been his best friend but she is his fiance. 

Don’t be a homewrecker.

A baby in her.

A baby.

His fiance. 

A homewrecker.

The accusations echo and echo, as though screaming at you in the endless cave that is your mind, until the party fades, the crowd disappears, and the ear-piercing classical music wanes against the walls of your temporary solace, the bathroom. Finally, entrapped in a world of black—black tiles, wine colored walls, and dark red roses perched on top of what seems to be a black granite sink—you’re left alone to your thoughts. 

Alex wouldn’t understand a seven-year-long regret because she doesn’t know the real history between you and Jin. In fact, no one invited to this engagement party nor does anyone in this whole mansion know of the soon-to-be groom’s past. 

It isn’t as simple as people might make it out to be on the surface, because no one but you, Jin, and the street down your block had paid witness to a shoddy, spontaneous promise that should have never been made. 

Turning on the faucet and splashing a fresh handful of cold water onto your face, your eyes eventually wander from the stream of water that flows down the drain up along the glass bowl of a sink and into the mirror to meet the sullen eyes of a girl, seven years older with a stain of regret that spans much longer that a mere seven years. 

❀ ❀ ❀

“Waaah,” the boy exclaims as you watch your own reflection narrow its eyes at the image beside you. The spectacle persists to angle his chin every which way until he’s finally satisfied with the protrusion of his jawline; and as the boy resumes his daily activity of marveling at himself in awe, you have to wonder once again, for the hundredth time by now, just how you two had possibly become best friends. “Looking good, Jin. Looking real good.”

“Ugh,” you roll your eyes and feign nausea, “narcissist.” 

Jin pauses in the midst of his inspection, allowing his phone to settle into his lap and turning to glance at you with his head as high—well, almost as high—as his ego. “When you look as good as this,” he gestures at himself and your eyes follow his crafty fingers up and down, “don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t be all up in yourself.”

You blink your eyes blankly and start with the most accusatory tone you could muster, “excuse you, Kim Seokjin, but are you saying that I don’t look good?” 

“You’re insisting that yourself, not me! It’s not my fault you can’t appreciate your God-given looks,” Jin raises his hands mercifully and you almost miss his latter, back-handed compliment when you become entranced by those double-jointed fingers of his. “Plus, I said ‘when you look as good as this.’”

“Psh, yeah,” you mumble, “and yet here you are, still as forever alone as ever.”

“Hey,” he snaps, narrowing his eyes at you even as he raises his phone to take yet another selfie, “and what does that say about you?”

“...and that’s exactly why,” you chirp as you hastily smush your cheek against his and throw a peace sign just as he snaps a photo, “we’re gonna be forever alone together!” 

“Hey, why’re you ruining my selfie—” he pauses in the middle of his camera roll “—oh, we actually look good.”

Glimpsing at one of many candid photos of you and him, a helpless smile spreads across your lips. A warm breeze blows and you can practically smell the impending spring that breathes life into the pink buds hovering on the cherry tree above you. The sun’s embrace against your bare legs that lie beside your best friend’s on the red and white checkered picnic is a perfect compliment to the equally bright phenomena that are his high-pitched giggles; and like the many days you’ve spent the past year, the only thing that could possibly elevate this moment of serenity would be a bite of his weekly pastry batches.  

Speaking as you chow down on the carbs, you quip, “you mean you look good?” 

“That, too, but I meant us, together—” he articulates, cutting himself off abruptly when he snaps his head to find you digging into one of his many bread “—hey, who said you could start testing without me?!” 

“Too many selfies, too slow, too hungry,” you lean your head back to plop the remainder of the custard-filled bread into your mouth, “shmorry Jin, but dish ish delicious.”

Just as you lean forward and take another large bite out of the batch, Jin catches right up to you, snatching the remainder and plopping it right into his now-stuffed cheeks instead. Lips falling agape at the disappearance of your bite-size donut, you gawk at your best friend whomst chomps happily away with your piece in his mouth. 

You can still recall the heat of your cheeks after the first time he had ever proclaimed something that was yours as his—in fact, it wasn’t much long ago when Jin had nearly regurgitated a mouthful of mocha frappuccino after discovering you had sneaked in a sip or two prior—but now? Sharing commodities has become such second nature to you two that sometimes you wish he could return to his germophobic days just so you can hog all the food…

...and maybe to relive whatever magical flutters that had befallen you on that very first day.

“Of coursh ish delicious!” he manages to exclaim incoherently. “Kim Sheokjin baked it afta all!” 

“Yeah,” you take a long moment to gulp and make room for more food, “I think I prefer the ones with custard—”

“—so it’s a perfect batch just like m—”

“���almost perfect.”

You could see yourself wink through the prideful glint in his eyes quickly plummet into a glare that has you laughing at the downfall of his indestructible ego. His playful glare through the corner of his narrowed eyes silently commences yet another one of your daily staring challenges. Maybe that’s why the two of you made such a perfect pair amongst the thousands of classmates at school. After all, how would Jin ever find someone as tolerant of his incessant dad jokes and perpetual ego as you are? And how would you ever find someone who would bake you goods and cook you lunch and, not to mention, spout such peculiar humor? 

All of your classmates had dubbed the two of you as the perfect comedy duo—the dumb and the dumber, the silly and the sillier—that, apparently, is the essence of a match made in heaven, albeit probably meant to be more platonically than romantically. 

Both too stubborn to lose, even in a meaningless game of a staring contest, not even the heat of the sun rays that has you two nearly sweating bullets could deter the match. Eventually, seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into a frenzy frozen moment in time as you start to fall into the sudden abyss you found yourself in that is the warmth pool of his eyes. 

Perhaps it’s the angle at which the rays strike theatrically on the apples of his cheeks, illuminating his dewy skin and enhancing the chocolate hues of his orbs hidden underneath the matching brown locks of his all whilst his eyes happen to be staring right back at you. You’ve never quite felt this way before—heart palpitating, throat constricting, and mind panicking—but for the first time ever, you’re hesitant in allowing your best friend to peer through the windows to your soul. 

This isn’t good. What would he do if he were to discover your frenzy? Would he tease you to no ends? 

Worse yet, would he falsely assume that you’re hardcore crushing on him…?

“Oh God,” you blurt out, breaking eye contact to avert your head to the side across the street. Your lips begin to mumble whatever comes first to mind, “uh, wow, look at that couple. Ugh, PDA—” your eyes flicker to find Jin raising a brow just before your eyes avert once again and he follows your line of sight “—am I right?” 

“Oh c’mon! Just admit it,” Jin chides. “You’re only using this to disguise the fact that you were just about to blink, weren’t you?” 

“I was not about to blink,” you insist but your shifty gaze tells the both of you otherwise, even if the true lack of confidence is unbeknownst to Jin. “You suck at staring contests. How many times have I won before? I was just distracted, okay?”

“Oh yeah?” Jin crosses his arms. “Distracted by what, then? Huuuh? By my devastatingly good looks?”

“No!” you exclaim almost too adamantly that you have to add in a nervous laugh at the end, which only has Jin staring at you in utter disbelief. Feigning an apologetic pressed smile, you gesture your hands in the direction of the couple supposedly hidden behind a fence but clearly exposed to those on a hill, otherwise known as you two. “I meant them—”

“—ew!”

The both of you exclaim in unison, selflessly covering the tarnished eyes of the other and ducking away from the moment of intimacy that you two had just intruded on. 

“Aw, cmon! Even after graduation, too?” Jin remarks, mouth gaping and hands falling from your shielded eyes only to be thrown to his side in bewilderment. “Does everyone really have to remind us just how lonely we are even on our last day?” 

“You mean how lonely we are and how lonely we will be for the rest of our lives?”

“For the rest of our lives?” Jin quirks a brow at you before shaking his head and shrugging. “Dang, that wasn’t exactly my plan, because the world will be forced to acknowledge my looks sooner or later, but I mean, in your case…”

“What?!” you gasp in disbelief, slapping his arm hard enough for him to wince. “What do you mean ‘in your case?’ I bet you haven’t even kissed someone yet!” 

Jin snarls at you as he pulls his arm back and retorts, “yeah? And I bet you haven’t either!” 

“Actually, I have, with Joon at that party last year,” you say smugly, crossing your arms with a chin held high, “and you just admitted you haven’t had your first kiss yet.”

“Psh, yeah, I haven’t, and?" the boy holds his head high akin to a child arguing with his body and not with his words. “Because I prefer to save it for something meaningful unlike someone here.” 

“Hey, are you insinuating that it wasn’t meaningful?”

“You’ve always told me how much you hated parties!” he throws his hands up. “Plus, you don’t even like Joon! You said his breath stinks!” 

“Well—” you pause but no words come to you except for a loud grunt “—ugh, fine. You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right,” he turns away, leaning into his right hand with an elbow propped against his crisscrossed lap. “I’m Kim Seokjin, after all.” 

Following suit, you mumble into your propped hand, “I guess that’s why we’re friends in the first place. Together and, yet, still forever alone.”

“Hey, I said I don’t plan on being forever alone.”

“Right, right,” you brush him off, “tell me that when you actually get a girlfriend—actually, tell me that when you find someone to marry who doesn’t run for their life just one month into your relationship.” 

“‘Marry?!’” he gawks at your demand. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet and you’re talking about marriage?!”

“What?” you turn to face him, cheek resting in hand. “Didn’t you say the world would soon recognize your charms?”

“Hmph, well,” he says with a jutted lower lip, “definitely sooner than you.”

“Really?” you gape at his bold proclamation despite clearly being the one with the upperhand. “You really think you’re gonna get married before me?” 

Your best friend doesn’t even bother glancing at you before answering, “bet.”

“Okay, if you win, then I’ll eat the crust to your breads whenever you want. I’ll even throw in a bonus for you and spare your wife from having to see fetus photos of you in college,” you can only snicker at the lightbulb that goes off in his widened eyes. “And if I win, then you’ll have to eat my crust and delete all the ugly photos you have of me on your phone.”

“Sorry, can’t do. That would take me an eterni—”

“—shut up.” 

“Okay, fine, bet,” he cackles, straightening his back and stretching his arms out before him, “and what if neither of us ever get married?”

“Hm,” you purse your lips, “good point. Should we set a time cap to our bet? Ideally, if I want to have a stable job and income by 25, have children by 30, enjoy two or three years of marriage without kids, then…”

“Why do you have to have children by 30?” Jin frowns. “Why set all these unrealistic standards on yourself?” 

Putting a finger to hush his lips, you almost find yourself distracted by the plush warmth against your skin. Quickly, you answer, “long story short: parents.”

“Ah,” he utters even as your fingers are pressed to his lips, “ditto.” 

“Let’s set the cap to 27,” you propose. “If neither of us get married by the age of 27, then we’ll just call off the bet. But damn—” the two of you simultaneously lean your chins into your palms “—that means we’re really gonna be a disappointment to our parents forever, huh?” 

A loud, heavy sigh escapes the both of you; and while you stay pouting into your hands, staring into the fresh green grass on the downside of the hill off in the distance, Jin props his hands back against the blanket and cranes his neck back to look off into the distant sky. You hadn’t noticed it until now, but for a devilishly dashing guy like Jin—broad shoulders, facial features that could only be gifted, and a prominent Adam’s apple, especially with his head rolled to the back like this—you have to admit his lonely status must have been much more of a choice to Jin than it is for you; because even for someone like you, his best friend who gets to stare at his profile for as long you desire in all its glory, you have yet to become desensitized to his dazzling visuals that is anything but normal.

As much as you hate to admit it, even now, with a clear blue sky, an array of warm pastry aroma, and a field of freshly cut grass, you can’t help but become enamored by the person before you. 

And when another sigh befalls his lips and the two of you have settled into a comfortable silence and a breeze passes by the both of you, rustling a dozen or so of the hovering cherry petals to grace the surrounding air, he speaks. 

“Let’s get married if we’re still single by then.” 

“...huh?”

“I said,” only his eyes move to peer down at you effortlessly, “if we both lose the bet, then let’s get married.”

Your eyes pop and you can only utter the few words that reach you, “to each other?” 

“No, to food,” he says sarcastically, grabbing a piece of his bread and stuffing your face with it when you continue to stare at him and he shuffles awkwardly in place. Looking away, he mumbles, “of course to each other, who else, dummy?”

“Uh….huh,” you blankly nod your head as a series of laughs are stifled by the bread. “Okay, and you’re being serious?”

He doesn’t look at you when he answers, “uhuh.”

“Pffft, and you’re saying you would keep that promise? That you would even remember this moment? We’re just gonna marry? Like that? And you’re assuming I’m just going to agree?”

“Hey,” he turns to frown at you, “why wouldn’t you agree? I’m offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity!”

Munching down on the bread, you continue to play along in amusement, “really? And what exactly are you offering me? You know I have high standards, right? I’m not just going to accept any proposal.”

“I know. That’s why you’re still single…” the boy deadpans, even as you glare at his remark, “...but, that’ll all change when you witness my proposal! Hear me out. First, I’ll cook every meal for you for the entire day.”

“You almost already do that except for breakfast.”

“Okay, but I’ll hone my skills by then. It’ll be even better than any restaurant we’ve ever been to.”

You raise a brow, “so you think food is the way to my heart?”  

“No offence, but yes, that’s why we’re friends,” he quips before continuing, “second, I’ll bring flowers to you at work. Everyone at your job will be burning with jealousy!”

“Because of your public display of affection, which we both clearly disdain?” 

“No, because they would wonder how you have such a handsome boyfriend like me!” he wags his finger. “Plus, who doesn’t like a little PDA when they’re about to be proposed to?” 

“Okay, fair enough, but those are two promises you’re making for the proposal. A marriage is a lifelong commitment. Why would I want to marry you just for food and flowers?”

“Hmmm, even for someone like you, I’m surprised you have so many requirements,” Jin hums, tapping his finger on his chin. “How about this, I’ll make three more promises for our marriage.”

“Quit saying ‘our marriage,’ I keep shuddering at the thought of it,” you remark as you rub your arms. 

“Third promise, I won’t break your achey breaky heart,” he deliberately emphasizes each word in a fruitful attempt to send shivers down your spine. “Fourth promise, I’ll remember all of my promises.”

“Okay… and fifth?”

“I’ll keep all of my promises! And I’ll do it all right here at this spot. Our spot.”

“What? That’s dumb,” you giggle. “Just keep it at four, then.”

“No,” he grabs the bagel in your hands and fills his mouth without a second of hesitation, “ish eashier to wememba fibe promishesh.”

“Right, right, right,” you nod, pressing your lips in a vain attempt to muffle your chuckles. “And what promises would you want me to make?”

“You?” he quirks a brow before shaking his head. “Nothing. You’re fine. I like you just the way you are.”

Huh. Has Jin always been this nice? Because you don’t quite recall ever feeling the heat of an oncoming blush of your cheeks or the bashful flutters that come with your best friend’s witty remarks. Maybe the topic of marriage has thrown you off today or maybe it’s the aftermath of a high having just graduated college and being thrusted into adulthood, but the stretched smile that adorns your lips is an undeniable fact that your confidence and spontaneity has reached its pinnacle.

Grinning, you lean across Jin’s lap to grab and unlock his phone to access the camera, “okay, wanna take a photo to commemorate this moment?”

“Gee, if you want a photo of me that bad, you could just ask me to send you a selfie, y’know—what the,” Jin starts to cackle when you raise the phone into the air and suddenly press your cheeks against his without warning. With a side-finger gun to frame his cheeks and chin, your best friend readies his pose as you wear a mischievous smile. “Hurry up and take the picture already, Y/N. My time is money.” 

“Hey Jin,” you call out to him with your eyes still fixated to the phone screen, as does his. 

The boy almost drags his words, “now what?”

“You’ve never had a girl kiss you on the cheeks before either, right?”

“What—”

—click.

“There,” you chirp jubilantly, grinning at the stunned look on his face, his eyes popping and his lips just slightly parted but failing to utter a single word as his hand grazes the spot on his cheeks where your lips had just touched, “now you have zero excuses to forget our promise!”

❀ ❀ ❀

That must have been the last time you had met up with Jin in person. Shortly after graduation, the two of you had parted ways as many are forced to do in order to embark on their lives as full-fledged adults. Being born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Jin had been lucky enough to receive a job offer straight out of college with the help of family connections; although, even without his family name, you whole-heartedly believe he still would have managed on his own based off of his unparalleled work ethic that you had the chance to witness firsts-handedly. 

On the other hand, your parents had advised you to stay home, which happened to mean you would be stuck in the same town of your college, until you finally landed a decent job where you had met Alex and established a new life. Unfortunately, like life always does, all that busywork meant sacrificing contact with your best friend somewhere along the way.

“Hey, Y/N! Wait!”

“Ah, shit,” you mutter under your breath as you stop in the midst of your tracks down the black-marbled hallway, gritting your teeth and composing yourself just as you’ve done countless times around your less than friendly colleagues. Taking a deep breath in and out, you put on a pleased smile and whirl around to find the face of a familiar boy in your most recent reveries. “Ahh, hey, Jin... It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Ah,” the man, who seems to have grown at least or three inches since you had last seen him, scratches the back of his head. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight… how have you been?”

This is awkward. So painfully awkward. 

“Me? Oh, I’ve been alright. Life. Adulting. You know the drill,” you press a thin smile. “Actually, I’m surprised to be seeing you here tonight. I still remember us whining all throughout college over being forever alone, and yet here we are… at your engagement party… life can be funny, huh?” 

“Y—” he stutters, scratching the back of his neck “—yeah… it can be.” 

“So,” you chirp in a fruitless attempt to lift the suffocating atmosphere, “the wedding is coming up pretty soon! Feeling good or is someone getting cold feet?” 

He shakes his head weakly, “I wear socks to sleep.” 

“Wh—” you pause for a quick second, blinking blankly at his soft chuckle and following suit shortly after “—why do your jokes sound like you’re 22 again?” 

The man shrugs with a helpless smile hinted in the corners of his lips; and when it happens—you don’t know how or when the silence had whisked you away into a past time—you find him gazing at you with that fondness of a sole friend who endlessly shared and fought informidable woes with you. Perhaps you’re a hopeless romantic frozen between the fork of two roads that have long closed, for you swear you can see your own reflection through his warm brown eyes and you surmise the only possible answer to the question that lingers in your mind. 

He must see the same friend in you, that girl he would only call friend.

“You’ve been preparing your whole life for this, or, actually, maybe I should say we’ve been preparing,” you smile to stifle the lurching ache in your chest, “I guess I’m the only fool waiting for her turn now.” 

A weep cracks the laugh you force out of your knotted throat. Immediately, you turn your head to avoid his watchful gaze and tuck a lock of hair behind an ear whilst discretely ridding any traces of waterworks welling in your vision. You think you must have gotten away with the feigned laugh and turn, a routine you had mastered at your previous work, but the gradual dissolution of the curve on his lips settles into an unreadable flatline more resembling a frown than anything; because even after all these years, he can still read you like an open book. 

So, if he could see through your every facade even now, then why does he not remember? You know you shouldn’t hold it against him, such a silly promise built on a lonesome pair of naive hearts,  but you can’t help it when a single word paints your conscience. 

Why?

Why can’t he remember? 

Your shared promises, your birthday, your memories, and... you?

“Y/N,” Jin begins gently, hesitating in place once he takes a step forward and you flinch, “about the wedding date…”

He waits for you to reply, supposedly for ‘whenever you were ready’, as he always does during those fragile lows of yours. 

To avoid letting loose any more unneeded drama, you can only manage a hum, “mm?”

“I…” he pauses and sighs. “I know it’s your birthday.”

A hitch in your breath is audible. You clamp your lips tightly and nod, uttering lowly, “yeah.”

“I want you to know I didn’t decide the date, Y/N,” he says firmly, “my father did.” 

“And?” you quip suddenly, eyes darting to shoot a glower deadly enough for him to twitch in evident hurt. There, you went ahead and did it. As hard as you had spent the past months muting your rawest reaction to the envelope in your mailbox, all the pent up frustration and sheer sorrow for a lost future came whiplashing just as hard. “And you couldn’t tell your father to change the date? Maybe one day after? Or two?” 

“You know I would have asked if I could, Y/N,” he bites his tongue to state sternly, “but how would he understand? Change it for… for what—”  he laughs cruelly in the midst of his burst “—for the birthday of a best friend I lost contact with for five whole years?! That’s so… so dumb—” 

“—dumb…?”

The crack in your voice leads to a stagnant silence over what is clearly a no man’s land. Betrayal visibly paints across your face, the momentary display of having wronged his closest ally stains his own. 

“Sorry, I didn’t meant that...”

“‘...yeah, you’re right,” you scoff, “I’m dumb for waiting five whole damn years’ because you wouldn’t fucking text me or call me to ask how I was doing!”

“Me?” he asks in disbelief, gawking and pointing an accusatory finger. “You wouldn’t even pick up your phone! I called you for a month after I moved!” 

“I couldn’t pay for my phone, alright?! I was living with my parents and scrambling to find a job, any fucking low wage job, and I couldn’t sit all day in my room waiting for your calls because I’m not born with a silver spoon stuck in my ass!” 

At this point, the conversation had somehow contorted into an all out brawl of words, a challenge to see who could blame the other for the unsaid confessions lost in communication. The two of you staring down the other, chest heaving and jaws clenching and brows knitting, if it weren’t for your fortunate location tucked in the hallway hidden from the main room, you would not have allowed yourself to fall, lost somewhere in the depth of his eyes. 

“Why are you so upset?” a weak, hopeless laugh tumbles from his confused, pained expression. “Aren’t you supposed to be happy for me?” 

“I—” something gets caught in your throat and you have to choke it out “—I am. I am happy for you. I’m not upset, no…”

Jin reaches a hand out to your cheek when he notices your tears but immediately retracts his notion when you flinch backwards. The boy frowns in concern, “Y/N… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. How did I upset you?”

“Nothing,” you frantically shake your head that hangs low, using the back of your hands to smear every sign of contradiction on your face. “I just—” your breath shakes and an impending series of hiccups begins to kick in “—I’m silly. I should be happy for my best friend. I mean, I am happy. I’m just being dumb.” 

“What?” Jin carefully takes a step forward. “No you’re not—”

“—I’m dumb, okay, Jin?” you finally muster the courage to lift your sights to find his own confused ones. “It’s been five whole years and I’m embarrassed for taking a joke of a promise so seriously when my best friend doesn’t even remember making it!” 

The scrunch in his brows and lost resolution only reverberate the deafening ache in your chest. “The promises…? Y/N, I—”

“—it’s fine,” you blurt. Shaking your head and stumbling backwards, you look him straight in the eyes to say your last words before the fading knocks of your heels against the wood are all that he hears. “It's my fault for believing in a foolish fairytale anyways.”

❀ ❀ ❀

It’s almost like a fever dream when you recall just how confidently you had spat those spiteful words and furthermore dared to depart with that sheer satisfaction and the slightest aftertaste of alcohol residing on your tongue that night; but now that you’re awake, sober, and without the power of liquor, there’s nothing that can pull you out of your greatest nightmare most recently manifested into reality. 

“Why the hell did I do that? Why the hell did I do that? Why the hell did I do that?” 

The incessant grumbles tumble freely from your lips whilst you pace back and forth in the corner of the office. Typically, your colleagues would describe you as composed, reserved, and the level-headed half of an otherwise wild pair with Alex. This morning, however, they begin to question everything they’ve ever known about you as they watch through the corner of their averting eyes. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone!” Alex hisses under her breath along with the threatening glares she shoots at the audience. Considering how long you’ve been going at your mental breakdown, it doesn’t take very long for your shuffling footsteps and mumbling gibberish to transcend into yet another white noise in the office; and once the majority of the passersby settle on the new revelation of your hidden crazed nature, Alex hastily storms to your side as you begin banging your head against the wall. “Why would you throw a tantrum at your best friend’s engagement party?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying…” you pause momentarily to groan before proceeding to damage whatever is left of your seemingly deteriorating brain. “Why the hell did I do that? Why the hell did I do—”

“—not to mention, an ex best friend who never even knew about your unrequited feelings—”

—she comes to an abrupt stop when she finds the deadliest scowl in your dart-like eyes. No words are exchanged but the lethal consequences are clear enough to grant you her silence and the continuance of your destruction. 

“Why the hell did I do that, Alex?” you whimper, taking a break from your antics because, damn, your forehead is really starting to hurt. “Whyyyyyyy did you have to leave me alone? Maybe Jin wouldn’t have found me and I wouldn’t have had to confront him over something that shouldn’t even matter anymore! I-I barely even know him… it’s been five years and, suddenly, here I am, voila! At his engagement banquet, yelling in his face and getting mad over feelings that aren’t even his fault!” 

“I told you to go easy on the alcohol.”

“I told you to go easy on the alcohol,” you retort. Taking a deep breath, you let out a sigh along with the scowl plastered across your face. Your next words come out more as a helpless confession of fear than a rhetorical question to be answered. “Do you think he… hates me…?”

Alex observes you for a lingering second, perhaps contemplating between a merciful albeit exacerbating answer and a merciless albeit helpful answer. She speaks carefully, treading dangerous water, “well… would you like him to?”

“I don’t know,” you shut your eyes to heave yet another sigh because that weight in your chest refuses to leave you alone. An unapologetic swinging of the door and a series of loud, wide strided footsteps that follow have your brows furrowing and it takes everything in you and Alex, judging by the sudden shuffles you hear by your side, to finish the rare heart-to-heart conversation. “I think… I think if he hated me, maybe that would extinguish that part of me from the past. If he hated me, I would be able to get over it. Maybe I would hate him too, out of spite, but at least I would be able to get over—””

“—it…? Over what, Y/N?”

Over what? It takes you much longer than it should have for you to surmise the most probable answer to her question, an answer you were never willing to admit and an answer you aren’t quite sure you’re ready to admit even now. 

“You know what I’m implying, Alex,” you sigh, shutting your eyes even tighter when a rising heat marks your cheeks. “I want to get over—”

—but your words are cut short by a familiar voice that has your heart racing and striking an unprecedented strife in the mayhem that is your systemic state...

“You can’t possibly hate me, Y/N,” he proudly proclaims and you can practically hear him smiling, “no one ever hates Kim Seokjin.” 

...and when your eyes finally flutter open, you find the man, who had only seemed like a phenomenon of your feverish dream a second ago, standing before you and adorning that signature smile with raised cheek apples and crescent-like eyes that has yet to change under the influence of time and distance. 

“W-What are you doing here…?” you barely manage to utter. Eyes flickering around your surroundings, from Jin’s broad shoulders that shield nearly the entirety of a helpless albeit buoyant Alex, to your colleagues who fail to discreetly whisper over the lavishly suited mystery of a man, and finally back to the bouquet of pastel flowers wrapped with a bright pink bow. Brows furrowing, you struggle to organize your thoughts and even go so far as to check for the dent in your reddish forehead in a vain attempt to dispel the mind tricks. When the mirage before you fails to dissipate into thin air like sand, you slowly turn to face the wall again only to have your antics disrupted by his refreshingly cold hand on your burning forehead ; and when you turn, you find Jin’s mischievous smile growing wider by the second. “H-how do you know where I work…?”

“I’m your best friend, Y/N. Have you somehow forgotten after all that head banging?” Jin scoffs in disbelief, gawking with a chuckle. Suddenly, he leans in to grab your right hand firmly in his own, squeezing twice as he had always done and leading you toward the exit. “C’mon, let’s go recover those memories of yours, eh?” 

“Wait, wait,” you nearly stumble over your own feet at the pace he’s going, struggling to catch your breath when he bursts through the last door and a blast of freezing wind envelops the clash of the heat reverberating from your beating heart. “I have to go back! I still have work! And, and… and where in the world are you even taking me?” 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Y/N, so many dumb questions for someone who always topped my grades,” the boy holds the bouquet of flowers out toward you, refusing to continue until you reluctantly accept his gift with your left hand against your chest. Smiling at your reluctant acceptance, Jin turns his back on you and proceeds to march into the parking lot but his now warm hands intertwined with your now cold hands never loosens its grip. 

It’s been a long five years of waiting to finally relish in the hold of his familiarly slim, often teased albeit self-praised double-jointed hands, but, now that you’re finally living in it, you’re sure it was all worth it… even if the crashing flames at the end of this road is an inevitable, foreseeable future.

“Jin,” you frown as you stare at Jin’s opening of the car door and gesture of an invitation, reluctantly seating yourself in his sumptuous car. “I failed half of my exams... remember?”

The boy’s laughs can still be heard even through the closed door as he makes his way around the car front, all whilst swinging the keys in his forefinger. His cackling steps an abrupt many levels of decibels higher when the opposing door opens and he plops into the driver seat. “That never stopped you from boasting, did it?” 

Without the flare of your usual clever quips, you purse your lips in silence and subconsciously hug the bouquet closer to your chest to keep his space as unoccupied by your presence. The sudden turn of events has your head spinning and your heart racing enough for the thumps to be felt by your hands. 

How did he find out where you worked? Where was he even taking you and what was he planning to do with you? Why was he acting as if you had not angered him just two nights ago? 

You don’t think you’ll be getting the answer any time soon, particularly the latter question, but when your stomach growls loudly, eliciting a crackle of a laugh from Jin, the awkward tension in your muscles eases ever so slightly. 

“...s-sorry… I skipped breakfast.”

“I know,” he puts the car into neutral at the red light and turns to peer at you with a smug look that says he could still read you like an open book, “because you always skip breakfast. I hid some pastry in the bouquet.” 

“What?” you scrunch your nose but immediately dive your scavenging hands into the flowers; and sure enough, you find your favorite cream-filled bread of his warm in your hands and you can’t stifle the smile that spreads on your lips. “Why would you even do that?”

“Well, in case you suddenly got really jacked and physically refused to come with me, then at least you would have something to eat.”

“No,” you giggle, “I meant why would you hide the bread in the bouquet…”

His eyes brighten like a lightbulb, as if only now recalling the genius plan he had crafted himself, “oh, because then you can sneak a bite without having to leave your desk! It always worked with our backpacks, didn’t it?” 

Your sights fall to the bouquet and you can only reply with a sheepish grin, “right… it sure did.”

The engine purrs to life again when the light turns green and the remainder of the car ride is filled with the smooth drift of his ride and the ceaseless albeit completely welcomed humming from his lips. The old Jin never had enough of an incentive to drive, although his parents always suggested gifting him a brand new car and you had begged him to take the offer out of boredom and a never-ending desire to escape far away from university, but something about this moment in time has you feeling cozy, belonging, and at home. It’s almost like it was meant to be. 

But the silver ring shining around his finger under the angle of the sun is a dreadful reminder that it isn’t. 

So, as a slap to yourself back into reality, you fracture this perfect moment you would have once framed in that hopeless mind of yours, “so… how did you find out where I worked?”

“Ah,” his right hand casually slips onto the back of your headrest. “Still haven’t figured out, rank 292?”

“No, I haven’t, rank 295.” 

“First,” he raises a finger, “I asked some people through the grapevines and eventually your friend Alex gave out.”

Grumbling under your breath, you curse, “damn it, Alex.”

“And second,” he raises another finger before proclaiming firmly, “I’m proving you wrong.” 

“Proving me wrong?” you articulate with a scoff. “You’re going to prove me wrong? Right, keep dreaming.”

“I’m not going to prove you wrong, I am proving you wrong," he insists before shifting the car to neutral and leaning in toward you, gaze brimming with conviction locked with your own wary ones, as if ready to spill a secret sworn by the two of you and hidden from the rest of the universe. 

He's close enough for his minty breath to graze your burning cheeks, to breathe a vigorous life previously unknown by your dull five years. Heart pumping and lungs barely working, daring not to budge for being caught under the sway of his gravitational force, you can hardly catch him when he finally speaks.

"I haven't forgotten, Y/N,” he utters, “I'm a man of my word."

❀ ❀ ❀

Promise one. 

"I'll cook every meal for you for an entire day."

Promise two. 

"I'll bring flowers to you at work."

His unabashed, overly detailed tactic to ask for your hand in marriage still echoes from a time long past. Hopes for those promises were weakened by each passing second but unequivocally unassailed at birth. Eventually, smothered and disheartened, you had been forced to cut ties and confront the reality of broken promises and broken dreams. You had once somehow convinced yourself things would never return to the ways they once were, and, yet, here he is having returned by your side and here you are enraptured by the utter joy in his laughs after all this wavering time. 

It's like a dream come true; and if this indeed all just a nightmarish dream bound to death, you wish you never swore allyship to this alcohol, for now your only wish is for it to succumb you into a deep, long slumber. 

“I toooooooold you I don’t like paaaaasta!” you whine, the drag of your voice manifesting in white puffs in the still chilly spring air. The sudden transition between the warmth of his house to the frozen world outside has you spiraling into a series of trips and stumbles; and as always, your best friend Jin is the only one to hold you up, which is a good thing considering how you would’ve been tumbling into the death trap of a river beneath this bridge. “So whyyyy did you make me pastaaaaaaa? Whyyyyyyy?”

“What? Why’re you blaming me?” he retorts, obviously taking offence. “You always loved pasta! You ate it every single day at uni!” 

“I diiiiid love pasta,” you say through barely parted lips, “but it’s all just… just carbs, carbs, carbssss…” 

“Since when did you care about carbs?” Jin frowns, poking your cheeks that lean against his sturdy arms. “Should I call the police?” 

Your brows furrow and you lift your head to narrow your eyes at him, “what? Why?” 

And as soon as those words slip from your lips and he raises his finger-gun hands, you wish you hadn’t asked in the first place. 

“Because I think you’re an impasta,” his finger guns transform into jazz hands after you stare at him in dumbfounded silence, “...badumtsss….”

A series of empty blinks are exchanged, as if neither of you had just witnessed his most tragic dad joke to date; and so, you swiftly continue with a sigh, “I think… I think I started caring ever since heee mentioned I was getting fat.”

“I can’t believe you just ignored my unprecedented joke…” he grumbles to himself but lets out a little huff when he catches you from tipping over. Wordlessly, he hooks his arm with yours to keep you close to him. “And this ‘he’ you mention, who’s he?” 

“Heee.” 

“Who? Who’s ‘heeee’?” he spouts with pouty lips and a raised chin, flailings his body, and therefore yours, about every which way like a toddler. “Who’s this man I have to beat up, huh? He better square up!”

“I don’t think you could beat him up…” you mumble, eyes heavy but determined enough to reach his own flabbergasted ones. “It’s Jooooon, dummy, Kim-Nam-Joon, the boy I shared my first kiiiiss with…”

“Kim Namjoon?!” his eyes widen. “You think I wouldn’t be able to beat up that nerd?!”

You almost manage to push Jin away the foot of the bridge if it weren’t for his firm lock around you. “Have you seen his muscles?! He might not look like it with his books and all but he worked out all the time!”

“Yeah, well,” his lips sputter, “well, have you seen my muscles?!”

“No—” you freeze when you realize the sturdiness of his arm against your head is existing proof against your word, and maybe it’s because of his obvious flexing at this moment, but you could not believe just how built his arms had grown in the past five years, “—and I don’t want to.” 

“Hah! You just don’t want to admit that I’m right. C’mon, I’ll show you. You feel it, huh? You feel it?” he flexes persistently, twisting and turning to maximize his little showcase. “So? You think I can beat him up now?” 

“Well…” your voice trails off, mind clearly preoccupied with sticking your cheeks to his arm like glue in a somewhat fruitful attempt to hide the flush in your face. “You don’t really need to beat him up…”

“What?” he almost yells. “Why not? He called you fat!”

“Well, he…” your shoulders rise with each confession, “he said one of my dresses looked tight on me…”

“And?”

“...and he wasn’t exactly wrong…”

“So?”

“...so he didn’t actually say anything offhandedly…”

“What? You should’ve told me earlier!” Jin exclaims, arms thrown high into the air and consequently pushing your helpless self onto the hillside grass beside the run of the river. Lips gaping and eyes popping, you watch him in full offense as he mumbles to himself before resuming his stroll down the hill. “And here I am getting worked up over nothing… can’t believe I thought I could play hero for once…”

“Hey, Jin, what do you mean by that?” you call out to him. “Wait! I said wait for me, Jin!”

When your rhetorical questions are answered with silence, you hasten to your feet in order to catch up with those damn wide strides of his. Damn it, how did he make it halfway down the hill already? Each of your exclamations are unsurprisingly disobeyed by the boy who just throws his head back over his shoulder with that cheeky grin of his as he quickened his pace. Following suit, your strides turn into a jog and your jogs turn into a full out sprint until the both of you are full on running the 100 meters dash, one chasing and one fleeing, wind blowing refreshingly into your heated face and into your tangled locks and inflated lungs that relish in the breath of life. 

In the midst of all the chaotic bliss of an epiphany, you find yourself screaming and laughing at the top of your lungs...

“Hey! Jin! I swear I”m gonna kick your ass!”

...and it’s at this moment in time that you realize having forgotten what it means to be a fool who lived and not to live to be a fool. 

At some point in time, after having caught up to the knucklehead and giving a piece of your mind, the two of you settle down along the concrete ledge beside the river after a jittery, welcomed high. The sunset that followed was a pleasant surprise that had you two reminiscing over the countless mornings and evenings you had spent watching the sun rise and set together whilst churning throughout tireless exam nights. Pink, golden streaks now hidden behind a thick coating of midnight blue embellished by magical glitters all throughout, tonight’s stargazing becomes a first for the two of you. 

As much as you hoped you could numb yourself from the inevitable aftereffects of this death wish of a dreamy day, you can’t help but smile, thankful to have been completely sober to engrave this night into memory. 

“So...” Jin’s utter is the first to break the silence. He turns his head to give you a playful look of eyes that beams with wary curiosity, “...you started dating Namjoon after I left?”

“Mm… maybe,” you hum, “why? Got a problem with that?”

“What? Psh, what? Why would I have a problem with that?” he snorts. “The only problem I would have is the fact that you never asked me for permission.”

Your eyes widen, almost threateningly, “are you saying I need permission from a man to date another man? Not to mention a man who abandoned me without warning!” 

“Okay, first of all, it’s not my fault you cancelled your phone plan! I called and called, I tried everything I could even though I was deadbeat tired every day. It’s not my fault I thought you hated my guts! So please just understand that I didn’t abandon you, alright?” he spills in an endless stream akin to a water faucet left on the highest setting, clearly a performance either practiced in private or incited by years of pent up pressure. You can practically see the steam shooting out of his fiery red ears and the accompanying whistle manifesting into words; and by the time his chest is heaving, his lungs are panting and very dramatically so, and his eyes flicker nervously between you and the passing water, you can’t help but snicker. Unsurprisingly, your lack of empathy elicits an unamused look on his face. “Hey, hey, what’re you laughing at, huh?” 

“Me? Oh, nothing,” your hands move into your laps and you bat your eyes innocently, “it’s just that I can’t believe you’re blaming me, a helpless, poor girl with absolutely no connections, for cancelling her phone plan as a last resort to make ends meet.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he warns with an accusatory finger, “don’t you dare think I’ll fall for that eye blinking and whatever cute act you’re playing up again!” 

“Why?” you pout, almost cringing at your own antics. “Am I not cute?”

“No, you’re hurting my eyes. Plus, if anyone’s cute here,” he declares adamantly before puffing his cheeks and poking one with his forefinger, “it’s me.”

The both of you stare at the other for a stagnant few seconds, one completely dedicated to his performance and the other utterly flabbergasted by what plays out before her. 

The only word you manage to crank out is a, “uh…”

“What do you think?” he raises another finger to poke his other cheek. “I practiced just for you.” 

“Um… you’re 27 now, Jin.”

“So?” he tilts his head in the other direction. “Still 22 and young at heart.”

“Yeah? Then I’m still 22 and still equally disgusted by aegyo—” just as he parts his lips to provide another rebuttal, you quickly add in “—by your aegyo.” 

And just like that, the man drops his boyish character just as quickly as he had stepped into it. He mumbles, dropping his hands and shooting an equivocate look at you, “okay, tough crowd. Sorry, ma’am.”

It shouldn’t have been that hilarious nor should your response been so delayed, but it only takes a split second of his surrender for a thunderous cackle to slip from your lips. Throwing your head back and peering at the dangling stars above, you allow yourself a moment to close your eyes and take a deep breath of the incoming wind. The fresh petrichor of spring and the earthiness of mowed grass whisks themselves into the cold, clean breeze from the vast body of water. Thin locks of hair grazes across your cheeks, swaying in the wind as does your spirit. Years are lifted from your shoulders and all that is left is the heaviness that remains in your chest; nevertheless, you have never felt so free from the past. 

“Also,” he adds nonchalantly, cocking his head to look at you, “I wasn’t speaking from the position of a man. I was speaking as a best friend. As your best friend.” 

And just like that, sitting side by side and sharing a cool breeze, it’s almost as if all these moments of remorse, spilled tears, and unreleased frustration were made to build the climax to this grand finale: the night you can finally speak your truth. 

“It’s funny how things never change, huh?” you say when your eyes flutter open and you find Jin looking over with a fondness identical to the one you’ve spotted years before. “We can split for five years, thinking one hates the other’s guts, and reunite again as best friends… as if nothing had ever happened.”

Jin chuckles, hands grabbing to the ledge and head lolling back to join you but his eyes remain fixated on you, “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Are we vampires and we just don’t know it?”

“Yeah, well, I’m not sure either… not sure about the good thing and not the vampire thing, that is,” your laugh settles into silence when you spot the reflected light inflicted by the ring around his finger, sitting on the ledge just an inch away from yours. Close enough to touch but far enough to confirm an unequivocal truth. Sighing, you turn your head to meet his intent gaze with a bittersweet upturn to your lips, “normally, I really despise the idea of change; but lately, when I think about how things might never change between us, how we’ll always banter as a pair of stupid best friends, I start wanting it more than ever.”

Is this the moment? Is it all really happening right now? Judging by the course of your blithe actions, if change is what you’re looking for, then change is what will surely ensue after tonight. Whether for the good or for the worse, you’ll take a reluctant guess of the latter. 

The man scrunches his brows before playing it off with a nervous laugh, “what do you mean things haven’t changed? You dated Namjoon, probably got it on a few times here or there—”

“—what—”

“—please don’t confirm,” he butts in with a raised hand, “and I have, too. Sure things have changed!”

“Ooh?” you raise a brow, genuinely shocked. “You finally got some experience under your belt? I’m impressed, Mr. Kim.”

“Hey,” he scolds, “what do you mean by ‘impressed?’” 

“Well, I should’ve known… figuring you’re about to be a married man and all…” you mumble, forcing a smile despite the sudden dip in your mood. Turning your head to stare off into the opposite end of the river where the black silhouette of skyscrapers lie, you curse yourself mentally. You really thought you could get away with the inevitable truth for the entire day? “You know, I can’t believe I almost forgot that you’re getting married in less than a week. Almost like how I couldn’t believe you almost forgot our promises.”

“I told you Kim Seokjin is a man of his words.”

“You sure about that? Promise one: cook for me for an entire day. Check. Promise two: gift me flowers at work. Check,” you turn around once again to look him firmly in the eyes and it’s almost as if the both of you know what’s about to come next. “What about the three other promises, Kim Seokjin?” 

“Y/N…” his voice trails off but his gaze never leaves yours, almost as if too afraid to be misconstrued as another betrayal. 

Quick-mindedly, you chime, “stop looking at me so seriously! I’m just joking! Promise three: you won’t break my heart. How could you after a wonderful day like this? Promise four: you won’t forget our promises. Clearly, you remember. And promise five: you’ll keep all your promises. Check.”

“Y/N,” he stifles every wince but you can tell by the way his feet have stopped kicking into the void. “I don’t think I’ve kept all those promises.” 

“Well,” you shrug, pressing your lips into a line tightly, “I only see checks in my book, Jin. You’re good to go—”

“—no, Y/N, you need to listen to me,” he says sternly; and when your mouth falls agape and your head slightly nods, his wary eyes searching for a steady sign in the windows to your soul, he continues calmly, “my marriage is actually an arranged marriage.”

“Your—” you blink blankly, jaw almost falling to the floor “—your, you, what?”

An arranged marriage. 

All this time, all this pain, all this heartbreak of wanting to do something about your feelings but remaining hopeless because of an unrequited love… turns out to be an active, fully conscious decision? Not a falling out of love, not a helpless affection for another woman, but a matchmaking handcrafted without the heavens?

“My,” he has to stop himself just as his breath hitches, “my father... arranged it. ” 

“What? Why? Is it because he prefers you with a well off family?” 

“What? No,” he shakes his head with a slight upcurve to his lips that you’ve never quite seen before. Watching him hook a hand to the nape of his neck, clearly avoiding your eyes, you have an inkling of something much worse than the presented news. “You know my father would never do that… it has nothing to do with money...”  

“But you left this town for money, didn’t you? For a better job, a better pay, a better life, and for the sake of your dignity as a dutiful son, are you telling me none of those were related to money?” 

His eye twitches by your name-calling, clearly pained once again despite knowing very well of your precedent dislike toward his silver spoon background and his nonnegotiable obedience. Each second of silence culminates a tension even more formidable than the last. Guilt intoxicates your boiling blood enough for you to bite your tongue and hold yourself back; because after accusing him of holding onto his dignity, you, yourself, could not forfeit that of your own either. 

Worse yet, you’re a complete hypocrite. 

“Why can’t you just tell him to call it off?” 

You never knew silence could be so deafening.

“So… so do you...” you begin hesitantly. Usually, with your eyes locked with his, a thousand words would have been exchanged with each passing second; but now, with gazes that wade through the tides of the unknown, for the first time ever, you don’t recognize the mystery before you. “Do you... love her?” 

His lips part slowly, but no time in the world would be enough for him to find the right words. To you, his silence is as clear as any possible answer. Something sinks in you, perhaps after acknowledging the implications behind his choice to leave your question unanswered, but your blood boils from the audacity of those apologetic eyes that, even now, never stray from yours… as if this minute of sincerity would be enough to mend the inevitable decade of scars. 

You begin slowly, failing to hide the shakiness of your deep breaths, “...then what about the baby?”

“What baby...?” his face contorts with a frown until, out of the blue, something flickers across his numerous expressions: confusion, remembrance, contemplation. His hesitation that ensues might have been fleeting but its infliction upon your shattered trust will surely remain. “Oh, that… that was just a rumor my aunt spread because of the sudden marriage.” 

“And,” you force yourself to breathe, scattering for something, anything to throw at him, “and you don’t think you could’ve told me sooner?”

The man scrunches his brows, “and that would’ve helped, how?” 

“‘How?’” you repeat, as if it was the dumbest question you had ever heard. Mirroring his expression, your eyes avert between him and the river as scoffs of utter disbelief escape you. “‘How?’ What do you mean ‘how?’”

“I mean exactly that!” his voice suddenly escalates to a level of frustration you’ve never quite heard from him before. “How would it have changed anything? Why would you need to know earlier?”

Gawking, you exasperate desperately, “you know why!” 

“No, I might be your best friend but don’t expect me to just read your mind!”

“It’s cause...” you swing your leg over the ledge to face the sidewalk with your back on Jin as soon as you could feel an incoming constriction at the back of your throat, a notorious sign shared just between the two of you that waterworks were about to appear. Breathing slowly and doing just about everything to keep your voice from shaking, and fruitlessly so, you mumble before standing to your feet, “...you know what? I don’t even know anymore. I’m sorry. Nevermind.”

Why did you ever think you would have a chance? 

Is this it? Is this really it? The end? 

The questions come crashing into you as you make your retreat, head hanging low and palms drying the inconvenient tears that mark your face. After all the confidence you had built up, after finally thinking—actually, believing—you could get over him tonight, how humiliating is it that you’re now running away from a reality that would eventually and inevitably engulf you? 

The worst part of it is, Jin, like the best friend and good man that he is, persists to chase after you. You don’t have to hear the quickened footsteps of his usual wide, well-paced strides to know he’s coming. You don’t have to hear the calls he makes on the top of his lungs for you to know he’s on his way. 

As someone who so helplessly fell in love with their best friend, you just know he would be there through thick and thin—whether you like it or not. 

“Y/N!” Jin hollers; and when he finally catches up to you, having to sprint and consequently inciting for you to surrender with an abrupt stop to your path, every bit of air is knocked from your lungs. Arms wrapping over your waist and enveloping you into a tight hug, you can feel his heart pounding against your back. 

To most, it should have been the perfect method to comfort a crying friend; so, damn it, why does it only make you cry harder? 

“What?” your voice cracks as you just barely manage to smear the following tears within the wrap of his bear hug. “Damn it, Jin, why can’t you leave me alone for once?”

Head resting on yours, his voice is muffled by your hair as he murmurs, “I can’t just leave my best friend crying like that. I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry.” 

He embraces you. He embraces you not only physically through the silence but also through the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it. He, Kim Seokjin, your best friend, holds you through the ups and downs and the rights and the wrongs. He even holds you now, comforting you in the hurricane that you brewed without ever knowing and never caring that he had, in fact, not committed any wrongdoing. If anything, you must be in the wrong. 

And when you put it that way, how could you blame yourself for falling in love with him?

“Jin… I’m sorry, I tried everything to stop myself but,” your voice shakes but your courage prospers, “but I just, I just really, really love you.” 

A second passes. 

Now, two. 

Then, three. 

Something strikes against your chest when the surreality of the situation settles into reality. His silence could mean many things, but the tightening of his embrace could only mean one. Blood flushes your cheeks as you lament over his sensation of your fervent heartbeats. Secrets thrown out into the spring air, your heated cheeks are equally exposed to the passing, chilly zephyr. 

He knows you love him. At this moment, he can physically feel the proof of your love and there’s nothing he can do about it. 

“Sorry,” you manage to blurt under your breath, “I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget I said—”

—the remaining words dissipate into thin air when he places his hands firmly on your shoulder and whirls you around. Face just inches away from his, you barely catch wind of his declaration before the unthinkable occurs…

“Too late. I don’t want to.”

...and his lips meet yours. 

It’s everything you have ever imagined. Years of admiring those plush lips, wondering what it would be like to feel the warmth of those wonders pressed against yours, are finally coming to fruition… except they don’t. His hands fall from your shoulders to the small of your back, but your hands don’t intertwine behind the back of his neck like you imagined. Instead, they hover in midair, hesitant to embrace him in your arms. Why? With your eyes and his fluttered closed and an audible deep sigh that signals a desire finally satisfied from the both of you, reality still manages to twist a dream-come-true. 

Does he actually love you or does he only pity you?

Finally, and ever so suddenly, your hands firmly push against his chest to plant an arm’s distance from you and him.

“Sorry…” you pant, avoiding those intense eyes. “We… we can’t do this.” 

“What?” Jin raises a brow, taking a step forward as you take one back. “Why not?”

Wordlessly, you point at his ring finger.

“Oh,” he chuckles nervously, hand scratching the back of his neck. You can only watch his every move, your stare gradually becoming a glare. Rosy hues coloring his cheeks, he speaks sheepishly, “I forgot we’re in public.”

His nonchalance irks you to your core. There isn’t any other way to put it. Blithe and dense have always been your favorite traits of his, but now that he’s here? Planting buds he could never sustain and sending mixed signals despite knowing of your feelings in an unfitting circumstance were never things you knew Jin for.  

“I-I don’t get it, Jin,” you shake your head. “I don’t think we should see each other any more. In any context. Not even after the wedding.” 

With his hands buried into his pockets and shoulders high enough to hide his reddened ears, he glances up at you, alert. “What? Why? What don’t you get?”

“It’s ‘cause... I just don’t get… this. I don’t get us,” you articulate, struggling to find the right words. “Why are you so… nonchalant about this? Why are you kissing me? Is it out of pity? Is it because I said I liked you—”

“—Y/N,” he says lowly like the drop of his previously cheerful mien, “you know I would never do something like that.” 

“Then why?! Why are you doing this to me? Do you love her or not?” you pause for a second to stifle the crack in your voice but, alas, all is in vain. “...and do you even… love me?”

He frowns, the tension in his body evident by the knitting of his brows as he struggles, “I… Y/N...”

“So you can’t admit that you love her and you can’t even lie to say you love me. So why the hell are you throwing away an entire marriage just to kiss me?” your scoff comes out more so like a plea. “You’re confusing me, Jin—”

“—that’s,” he abruptly pauses to stop himself from exploding, taking a deep breath before continuing, “that’s exactly why I can’t say it, Y/N! I don’t want to confuse you. I don’t want to disappoint my father. I-I don’t want to complicate matters more!”

“Then why the hell did you kiss me?!”

“I don’t know, okay?!” he throws his hands in the air. “I don’t know! It was a spur of the moment! I couldn’t stop myself from chasing after you and when I hugged you—I-I just wanted to, alright? I’m sorry.”

He’s... sorry. 

Sorry for kissing you, sorry for acting as if your feelings had been reciprocated, sorry for breaking all the promises he made and pretending like he was going to patch things up again tonight. Speaking your mind and hearing his words are all that you need to finally understand what you need to do. Your heart drops but you hold your head high because your final verdict is the right thing to do. Maybe this time you’ll finally be able to cease these useless feelings. What's the point in pursuing a hopeless love? 

The only one you would be hurting is yourself. 

This epiphany, in itself, is enough to drape an ephemeral clarity over your frenzic self; and just like a bandaid over a scar, you’re able to function, if only just temporarily.

“Hey, Jin?” you call out softly to the boy kicking at nothing on the bare sidewalk. It’s hard not to melt under the delicate glance he throws over his shoulder. “I’m not… mad. Well, I kind of am. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m sorry for everything that I said about your upbringing. I know how close you are to your family. I’m sure you’ve been under a lot of pressure…”

“No, Y/N,” he shakes his head, turning his body to face you with a low hanging head, “it’s my fault. Even considering all that, I still shouldn’t have done that or any of this. I… I’m sorry for confusing you.”

Forcing a composed smile, you persevere, “do you have your fiance’s number?”

Head lifting with a frown, he answers, “yeah, what kind of a fiance would I be if I didn’t? Why though?”

“Right,” you say to yourself under your breath, hearing his ‘fiance’ echo relentlessly in your head. “I just need it, okay? To… to sort out everything...”

And just when you wonder how insensitive could this boy get...

“What?” he chuckles. “Are you going to fight for me?”

...it gets worse.

Rolling your eyes, you give him a hard, well-deserved slap against the chest before snickering at his loud wince and declaring your one last confession of the night. 

“No, I could fight for us, but I won’t singlehandedly fight for you,” you then declare with a bitter smile, “I will, however, tell her how jealous I am.”

And that's your most irrefutable confession, one that has Jin stupefied for the future midnights to come.

❀ ❀ ❀

Morning arrives much sooner than you had anticipated. White puffs mark the air whilst you wrap yet another layer of scarf around your neck. It seems as though the breeze from a night ago had intentionally danced around town, lingering and spectating on the resolution of your five year long love conundrum. Ironically enough, the two of you reunite at the very spot where everything had first started… except this time, everything will finally end.

The pain he had marked in you inflicted by the words he could not bring himself to say still stains your every waking second.

“You have to do this. You can do this,” you incessantly chant to yourself, pacing back and forth beside the most prominent cherry blossom tree in town. “You have to do this. You can do this—”

“—Y/N, is that you?”

What you presume to be Youngji’s voice perks your ears. Looking up, you spot her holding a phone in her hands as she flickers between you and her screen. A quizzical quirk of the brow plasters across your face as you wave at her and she jogs over to you as quickly as she could in that pink, wool poncho and those tan, fluffy boots. “Hey, Youngji, right?” 

“Yeah,” she says in between each pant of breath, “that’s me.” 

Her hands immediately find refuge on her knees whilst she bends over to catch her breath. Typically, you’re the very self-aware type, but there isn’t anything you could do to stop yourself from staring. The girl strikes you as… flamboyant. With her dark red pigtails, bright smile, and dainty attire, she’s everything you’ve always imagined a female version of Jin would be like. It’s hard not to wonder… maybe an arranged marriage really can be a match made in heaven, but you force yourself out of that rabbit hole before having another breakdown in front of an innocent stranger. 

The tang of jealousy, however, refuses to budge. 

“Sorry, for,” she pants, holding her hand up to show you her phone screen, “calling out to you like that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you squint at the sight of the screen displaying a candid photo of you, taken on this very street on that very day, as you stuffed one of his breads in your mouth. Drawn on your face is a mustache and a unibrow. “Did Jin do—”

“—Jin gave me a terrible reference photo.” 

Scoffing, you cross your arms, “damn it, Jin.”

Youngji crackles into a firework of uncontrollable laughter, rendering you stupefied. After a literal minute passes by, she finally manages to speak in between the bursts of giggles that follow, “you two—” giggle “—really are—” giggle “—close, huh?” And as a grand finale, she slaps her stomach with a loud sigh of relief that her laughs have come to an end. When she notices you staring at her bewilderedly, a light bulb flashes through her as she gasps and feigns a whimper, “o-oh! Ow! M-my baby!”

“You know you don’t have to pretend, right?” you can only let out a laugh of disbelief because you still can’t take in the mirror image your best friend. “Jin already told me about the fake pregnancy.” 

“Oh, in that case,” she smiles widely before giving her stomach one more big, satisfying slap, “see, you guys really are so close!” 

“I… I guess. I’m not sure if taking me out for one day after five years of radio silence really counts as close, though,” you then quickly add in with raised hands, “he only did so out of obligation, though! I swear it was nothing more!”

“Hmmm?” she hums, leaning in a curious ear with a cheshire-like smile. “Is it because of those promises he made?”

“...yeah, wait, he told you about those?” 

Of course he did, idiot, they’re engaged. 

“Well, something like that,” she shrugs, “so how much did he tell you?”

“About?” 

“About the wedding, silly!” 

“Uh, nothing much really. The pregnancy was a false rumor, the marriage was arranged by his father…”

“Father?” she inquires, watching you closely with those big, round eyeballs of hers. 

“Yes?” you hesitantly nod. “Father?” 

“Ah,” she nods, as if she finally catches drift of something, “I see.” 

“Oh yeah,” you add, “I also found out it’s on my birthday.”

“What?!” her eyes grow wider, if they even possibly can. “Jin never told me that! What the heck, man? A wedding? On his best friend’s birthday?!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know right?” you nod passively before coming to an abrupt stop. “Wait, what? Why does it matter to you?”

“Of course it matters to me! You’re Jin’s best friend, aren’t you? You have no idea how much he talks about you back home. I know you so well that sometimes I feel like you might be my best friend,” she chimes before reaching out to cup your hands in hers. “Let’s celebrate properly with Jin after the wedding, okay?” 

“Um, sure…”

But you don’t exactly plan on unnecessarily sticking around his life for any longer than the wedding… except, seeing how close she must be with Jin in addition to her loose-lip impression, you decide not to tell her that. 

“So,” she drops her hands to the side, “what did you need to tell me?” 

Why did you call her to meet you here again? After witnessing her flamboyant entrance, it’s hard for you to keep yourself from derailing. 

“Oh, um,” you scratch the back of your head awkwardly, “I just wanted to meet my best friend’s fiance, that’s all.”

“Ahhh, I see.”

The woman pauses, nodding at you intently almost as if waiting for the real intentions to be revealed. Damn it, either you’re a literal open book or she reincarnated from the same soul as Jin’s. 

“So…” you purse your lips. “Are you okay with it? The arranged marriage, I mean?” 

“Well,” she shrugs, finally dropping the smile from her lips. “At first I hated the thought of it. I felt like I didn’t really have a choice, but… when I met Jin—” a smile is hinted in the corner of her lips and in the sparkle of her eyes “—I thought ‘I’m pretty lucky girl, aren’t I?’ I think the world must have finally taken pity on me.”

A soft, stifled laugh slips from you as your eyes fall to the ground and a bittersweet smile accompanies your lips, “yeah, you’re pretty lucky.” 

“Don’t get me wrong though,” your eyes immediately shoot up to find her raising defensive hands, “it wasn’t some sort of a love at first sight. He’s handsome, sure, but—”

“—a marriage is a lifelong commitment—”

“—exactly,” she sighs, “I didn’t really know him, but when I was forced to spend time with him… I thought if I had to get married, then he would be the best option. He’s not a bad guy.” 

“No,” you smile in your reverie, shaking your head, “he's not a bad guy at all; and when you really get to know him, his stupid dorky self, I think it’s impossible not to fall for him.” 

“Yeah?” 

“He’s mean when he jokes around but he’s actually very kind, he’s sensitive when you poke him where it hurts but he hides it deceptively well, he’ll apologize for being wrong when the both of you clearly know you’re in the wrong, he’ll cook and wear the hottest pink clothes he can find because ‘to hell with societal norms,’ he’ll tell you the dumbest dad jokes but I promise you’ll get used to them eventually, ” you let out a reminiscent laugh that comes out more like a sigh, “and, sometimes, very rarely, he’ll hurt you unintentionally, of course, but he’ll always go out of his way to make it up because that’s just… that’s Jin. That’s my best friend.” 

A breeze passes by to perfectly mark the end of your cadence. Branches rustle above you and freshly budded cherry blossom petals flutter their way toward the grass underneath the two of you only to be risen once again by a following zephyr. Having been there throughout his and your lives, it’s almost as if the long-standing tree is agreeing to attest to your words. 

“Wow,” Youngji finally says after witnessing your truthful albeit embarrassing spoken love letter, “I… I wouldn’t doubt any of it… but why are you telling me? Shouldn’t you be telling Jin?” 

“I’m telling you, because,” you emphasize, “because I'm jealous of your position but I can't do anything about it so I want you to take good care of Jin. I just… I need to know he’ll be in good hands. I want him to be loved like the way that he loves. You’ll do that, won’t you?”

Youngji just nods. It’s the most somber response you’ve ever seen from her. Almost like the joining of hands in marriage has finally become reality. 

“Do you…” you struggle to squeeze out of the knot in your throat, “do you love him…?” 

“Y/N—” she begins but suddenly lets go of whatever she must have had planned “—yes, yes I do.” 

“And… you’ll take care of him?” 

Youngji bobs her head lightly, “yes, I will.”

“Promise?” 

“...promise.”

“Okay, then I’m entrusting him to you, and,” you smile, leaning forward to shake her hands before heaving one last sigh, “and this time, please keep the promise.” 

❀ ❀ ❀

A curse sinks into the thickness of the sapphire dusk that quickly descends upon the hushed city. Keys tinkle to decorate the silence of tonight’s resting wind, a silence that would have been accompanied by an equally passive woman and an oblivious man whose hands persist to fumble to his guest’s dismay. 

Standing before a small willow, vintage-looking store tucked away in the corner of downtown, an inaudible breath ascends a cloud of white that momentarily shrouds the grand interior peeking from spotless windows that line the exterior. Golden warm studio lights illuminate the gorgeously exquisite ivory gowns from the trailing trains up to its waterfalls of dainty veils. Velvet suits and satin neckties accompany each headless mannequin, welcoming each passerby to imagine themselves in their wildest fairytales… your hand in his and his in yours as a fleeting moment becomes a sealed promise of a lifelong loyalty. 

Breath completely taken away, you, yourself, almost fall prey to your own far-fetched dreams. 

“I thought I said we shouldn’t meet up anymore,” your forced mutters drag you from your short-lived reveries, “why did you bring me here?”

“You said we shouldn’t meet up anymore, yet here you are,” Jin chirps before cheering to himself under his breath once the key finally clicks into place, “yes! Old man must have purposely given me these rusty old keys.”

Crossing your arms, you retort, “I came because you said your close friend from home would be here, too.”

Turning around to face you with his back to the door and a hand on the golden knob, he raises a quizzical brow, “and… are you not my close friend from home?” 

“I thought you meant the other—”

“—this is my home, Y/N,” he says firmly, looking straight at you, “and I want my best friend to see me in my wedding suit before anyone else.” 

“But why me…?”

“Because I only care about your opinion.”

He answered without hesitation, but in your head you figure he must have forgotten about Youngji, the true spotlight of the show.

Gritting your teeth, a staredown begins between the two of you; but the longer you face those unequivocal looks of determination in his eyes, the hotter your cheeks become in the middle of a contrastingly chilly night.  

“Alright, fine.” 

“Thanks,” he gives you a small, lopsided smile before pushing the door open with his back and ushering you in with a slight bow, “ladies first.”

Your eyes roll but not for very long when you step foot into the store and your mouth falls agape. The ceiling is much higher than you had perceived from outside, the sides are lined with grand, wooden staircases that lead to a second floor where hundreds upon hundreds of white dresses and black suits find purchase along the hangers, and the click of your heels against the marble tiles of the entrance floor echo into the extravagant expanse. 

The wooden insulation of the store proves infallible when the door closes behind Jin and the shrewd air leaves you to a much more bearable surrounding. Standing affixed to the entrance, you watch as Jin strides toward the carpeted floor where a taupe curtain hanging from the ceiling drapes over a raised platform sits across its partner platform in the opposite of the room. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so enraptured by something aside from me,” Jin chuckles as he begins stripping the suit off of a black, velvety mannequin before pointing at the mannequin standing beside the opposite platform, “oh, why don’t you try on some dresses while I’m at it?” 

“What?” you scoff, finally taking a step onto the carpet. “First off, I never stared at you like that before. Second, why the hell would I do that? It’s your wedding, not mine.” 

“I asked the store owner for permission and picked a dress for you to try on,” he continues, finally stopping in the midst of unbuttoning his white, collared shirt when he looks up to find the fear in your eyes. “Hey, haven’t you always wanted to try one of these?”

“Yeah,” you laugh in disbelief because he actually listened to your past rambles, “but never under these circumstances.”

“C’mon, you never know if you’ll ever have a chance like this again,” he gestures once more when he notices the start of your contemplation, “c’mon, go on!”

You really don’t want to. It’s that nagging feeling of something going completely wrong tonight if you were to succumb and let yourself go. After all, your worst fear is yourself. It doesn’t feel right and you begin to wonder if it’s alright for you to hold onto this moment you’ve always dreamed about: dolling up and swearing your vows side by side with Jin. 

If you were to live out your fairytale, just for tonight, would you finally be able to sleep dreamlessly at night? 

“...fine,” you groan and storm across the room, tossing your purse into the ruby sofas and stepping onto the platform. Turning around to face a gleeful Jin, you’re about to scowl at him until your eyes flicker between the cheeky grin on that youthful face and those sculpted abdomen of his elevated by the lighting above. Cheeks flushing red, you gulp at the unseen sight before clutching the curtain in your hands and swinging it closed with a mumble, “and at least have some decency and use the curtains, God damn it…”

The freezing touch of your hands doesn't hold a candle to the heat of your face. Trying to calm your racing heart, you curse to yourself at the way he merely cackles at you and, even worse, the way your heart intensifies in response. 

“Yes, ma’am!” 

“...shut up,” you say more to yourself and your deafening heart.

The gown standing before you, however, is no help to your case either, for when you glance over the dress, the long train that could awe an entire room, the complimenting silhouette that doesn’t scream too over-the-top but enough to fulfill the little girl within you, and the classic lace sleeves that you’ve gushed over whilst skimming through magazines, you realize Jin had always been attentive even when he was stuffing his face with bread or even when he was being petty over an argument and you tried to rectify with incessant small talk. 

It’s at this moment that you acknowledge the rabbit hole you had just willingly fallen into and the impossibility of its towering escape.

“So,” Jin calls out to you as the sound of rustling clothes fill the silent air, “what do you want for your birthday tomorrow?”

“My birthday? Oh, right,” you slam palm to your forehead, having dwelled over the marriage and consequently forgetting your own birthday. “Uh, nothing really. I haven’t really thought about it this year.” 

“Really? You? Y/N? Not planning her own birthday?” he gasps. “Who are you and what did you do to Y/N?”

“Oh, shut up. With age comes other problems to deal with...”

...problems like you.

“C’mon,” he chuckles. “You have to have something. You can’t tell me you’ve gotten every single thing checked off of that old ‘birthday gift ideas’ list you gave me.”

“I mean… I wouldn’t say I’m very far from it and it’s not like you were actually going to give me everything I asked for. Say, what did I even have on that list?” your eyes wander to the towering curtains that envelop you as your hands reach behind to the buttons on your back. “A bowl of your tofu soup, some pocket money, a matching sweater, a pair of earrings, a necklace, and a… ring.” The word slips from your lips and it floats in the stagnant air before you can even do anything about it. His silence rings in your ears, so you quickly add in, “but I don’t want materialistic stuff like that anymore.” 

“...oh, really?” 

“Nope,” you heave a heavy sigh and pat the poofy material of the skirt down, “I think I’ve come to realize that… I just want to be loved. I don’t need a dress or a necklace or a ring…  you wouldn’t understand, but I don’t just want to hear those words. I want to feel them. I want to be loved.” 

But only by him.

A lingering silence drifts long enough for you to start panicking until, finally, he answers, “no, I understand.” 

“...well,” you quickly chirp as you fumble with the lacey material of your dress, “enough about me, what do you want for your big day, hm?”

“Why would I need a present from you?” he remarks. You can hear him finishing his final touches and you can barely stop your heart from leaping out of your chest. “You’ve given me enough already.”

“You mean I’ve given you enough earfuls and tears,” you retort, clutching onto the curtains as you shut your eyes to muster every courage within you. “Isn’t there anything I can give you? Anything you want?”

Counting down to yourself, the curtains and drawn open in one, swift swing; and when your eyelids flutter open, you find him standing on the platform across from you, dressed in a classic black and white suit with the curtains clutched in his hands like a mirror image of you. He glances over you from head to toe, as you do to him, until the both of you settle in each other’s gazes for what seems like an eternity, willingly lost and ever-so-enraptured.

You almost forget this isn’t actually your wedding.

“This,” he answers with a soft smile, “this is enough.”  

“...stop it.”

JIn frowns, “stop what?”

“Stop… looking at me like that,” you articulate, hands covering your bashful grin. “It’s making me feel self-conscious.” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault I have such a good eye at picking clothes for you!” he says whilst pointing an accusatory finger. “I guess 22 year old Jin had a pretty good sense of fashion after all.” 

“You picked this five years ago…?” 

The man shrugs but his high chin says otherwise regarding his humility, “I told you Kim Seokjin is a prepared man of his word.” Eyes peering across to wink at you, he continues a bit more seriously, “I might not be able to fulfill all of our promises, but this is the closest I can to it.” 

“Jin… you’re…” you laugh in disbelief, bashfully avoiding his intent gaze, “...you’re so incredibly stupid that I can feel it from all the way here.” 

“Oh, yeah?” he grins mischievously and takes a step toward you and off the platform. “How about now?”

“Stop it, don’t spread your stupidity to me.”

He spreads his arms out wide whilst taking another few steps forward, “why not? Aren’t we supposed to be together through thick and thin?”

“No, not really,” you adamantly shake your head amidst a hysterical fit of giggles, “don’t come any closer.” 

“Oh, no,” he feigns worry. Another footstep. “I can’t stop myself.” He approaches even closer. “The stupidity is spreading!” 

With him just a footstep away, you cower behind the shield of your hands, “stop it, stop looking at me like that—”

—and just as you squeal, his arms wrap around you to pull you into a tight embrace.

Like two lost puzzle pieces, his hands fit perfectly in the small of your back and his chin rests comfortably in the crook of your neck. His hair grazes against your burning cheeks. His scent envelops you into a rosy haze. He could probably feel the beat of your chest against his, but you wouldn’t know when you’re preoccupied by the thuds of his own. You had never been aware of the lonesome emptiness you’ve felt all these years until now, under the warmth of his touch that completes your other half. 

You almost forget to breathe until he takes a deep breath and lets out a slow, dreary sigh. 

“You are so beautiful.” 

Under any other circumstances, you would have smacked him for lying. Perhaps it’s the stir of the starry skies or the impending occasion or even the look he made on his way to you with a gaze that oozed with absolute adoration, but something tells you he’s being his genuine self tonight… and that’s what you fear the most. 

“You shouldn’t be saying that, Jin,” you say, stroking his head buried in your shoulder, “and you shouldn’t be looking at any women but Youngji with those eyes.” 

Whether he’s quietly reflecting or stubbornly disagreeing, Jin remains silent. His breath entangles with yours, syncing with the wavelengths that you two have been running for an ongoing seven years and, perhaps, beyond. 

He frustrates you to your wits’ end. There’s nothing he hasn’t made you question. At times, when you’re tossing and turning in bed and hoping for a way out of that cavern of a mind, you wish time could skip to a year in which the voices no longer haunt you at night; and yet, when you’re here buried in his arms, you would do anything to freeze and relish this fragment in time. 

It isn’t right. You two aren’t right and you know it isn’t right… but how do you deny yourself of the cure to those deep scars when he, himself, wishes to be downed? 

It takes everything in you to finally drop your hands from his locks to his shoulder. Just as you’re about to deny the tempting elixir, Jin lifts his head along with his gaze that now meets yours, “Y/N, I have something I need to tell you.”

“...y-yeah?” 

The windows to his soul twinkle underneath the dim chandeliers above. Those starry dark brown eyes simply take your breath away.

“My dad,” his voice quivers like the water that wells in his eyes; and when you know he’s about to bawl, you pat his head ever-so-endearingly. Gulping, he finds the courage to continue, “he’s sick.” 

“Oh... oh, Jin,” you murmur, quickly wiping the few tears that drop onto his flush cheeks before bringing him into another tight embrace. “I’m sorry.” 

“I only moved—” and that’s what cracks his buoyant front into a full on bawl  “—I only moved to take care of him!”

“I understand.” 

He shakes his head, “I didn’t want to abandon you!” 

“No, Jin, I know,” your voice is buried underneath his whimpers, “I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” 

“I didn’t know things would turn out like this!” he cries, holding you even closer. “I didn’t know!” 

“It’s okay, Jin. Really, it’s okay. It’ll be okay.” 

“No, it won’t be okay,” his voice hitches in the midst of his hiccups, “my father is dying and now I’m walking down the aisle with a woman I don’t even love!” 

Your strokes come to a temporary stop because how could fate be so twisted? Who is it to decide whose time shall begin and whose time is up? You have to hold your breath along with the waterworks that sour your eyes. You can’t cry now. He needs your stability.

He needs you. 

“Did you…” you take a shaky breath, leaning back to watch him cover the messy state of his face, “did you tell your dad?”

“I-I couldn’t,” he stutters, voice muffled by his voice, “you know how long he’s been waiting for this.”

I know,” you ponder for a second before hesitating to continue, “...why didn’t you consider me?” 

“I—” his hiccup interrupts him as he roughly smears his tear-stained cheeks with his palms “—I thought you hated me. I didn’t think you would agree. I thought our promises were just a joke. But when you confessed that night, when you said you would fight for us—” his voice cracks again as he laughs at himself, eyes to the ground “—I thought damn, fuck, how did I mess up so hard? I should have fought for us. I’m so stupid—”

“—no you’re not—”

“—so fucking stupid!” 

His self-reprimanding curse echoes in the room. Each of his demeaning scorns inciting a fiery justice in you. 

“No,” you state, “you’re not stupid.” 

Without the dignity to face you, his hands clenched into fist and he continues with bangs shrouding his sorrowful eyes, “I’m sorry, Y/N. I hurt you—”

“—no, Jin, you did not—”

“—I messed us up—”

“—no, Jin, look at me, hey, look at me,” you place a finger under his chin to lift his spirits until those bloodshot eyes of his find refuge in yours. Smiling, you speak, “see? I’m okay. So what are you apologizing for?”  

“Aren’t you… mad?” 

“Mad? No, silly,” you laugh, wiping another tear. “Sad? Maybe.”

“See—”

“—sad because I wasn’t there by your side when you needed me… and maybe a bit sad that I won’t be the one holding you like this tomorrow,” you apologize with a soft smile over the latter jab that incites a wince from the boy. “Why didn’t you tell me about your father?” 

“I didn’t think it was that serious,” he hiccups, “and when I found out, I tried to call you but it didn’t go through.”

“Shit,” you curse under your breath, “I’m sorry.” 

“No,” he takes a deep breath to calm his high, “it’s not your fault.”

“And it’s not yours either,” you affirm, breaking out into a laugh when you take another look at his reddened eyes and dampened cheeks. “Look at you! Why are you looking like a mess on our wedding day, huh?! At least let us be ignorantly happy for one day!” 

“What…?” he frowns whilst hastily smearing every last evidence of his breakdown on his face. The result is an equally red, irritated skin across his cheeks. “What’re you talking about? Kim Seokjin never looks like a mess… hey, what’re you laughing at?!” 

“Look at your tie, idiot! What kind of a rich son are you if you can’t even tie it correctly? Come over here,” you say just as you grab the end of his necktie to pull him up onto the platform. With his necktie now at your eye-level, you begin to unravel whatever knot he had attempted. All the while, you can feel his gaze as he watches you do your thing, completely enamored. This time, it’s your turn to turn red. To distract yourself from the rising self-consciousness, you clear your throat, “call me whenever you’re going through a hard time, okay? I’ll give you my new number…”

The piece of fabric flails around into equally atrocious knots that Jin had previously created until you groan in frustration and disassemble everything. You had practiced this so many times while he was gone, foolishly believing it would come in handy the day he returned, but why does nothing ever work out the way you want it to? 

“I swear it worked last time I tried…”

Your best friend just watches silently, chuckling as you wrap the fabric around your own neck this time; and when he speaks, much steadier like the Jin you have always known, he looks you directly in the eye. “Youngji told me about your guys’ conversation.”

“Huh?” you pause as soon as your embarrassing declaration of love begins reciting itself in your head, but not even the resumed work of your hands could distract you from the ever-growing shade of red. “O-oh, that… what about it?” 

“I heard what you said about me.” 

“Yeah?” you hum nonchalantly, even though the trembling of your hands and the avoidance of your eyes from his give you away. “Well, did she tell you about all the complaints I made, too? About you being a stupid dork?”

“She did,” he utters before placing a finger below your chin to avert your attention to those dazzling works you desperately avoided, “but would you still be willing to marry this stupid dork?”  

“This isn’t even a real wedding,” you feign a frown under the spotlight of his intent gaze, “why are you asking me a question like that?”

“Sorry, I didn’t have the funds to hire a real priest.” 

“You don’t need to for a fake wedding.”

“I thought you said we should be ‘ignorantly happy for one day?’” 

The bantering just never stops, does it?

“Okay, well… to answer your question,” you mutter, eyes averting to the side, “under normal circumstances…”

“Under normal circumstances…” he repeats.

“Where you aren’t engaged…”

“Where I’m not engaged…”

“And your father approved of me…”

“And my father approved of you…”

“Then yes,” you say without hesitation, eyes returning to find a newfound comfort in his relieved gaze, “yes, I would marry you.” 

“And that’s why I love you,” Jin smiles, chuckling softly. “I’ll always want to marry you.”  

And just as a nearby clock tower strikes its church bells to signal the stroke of midnight, Jin grabs the end of your necktie and pulls you in to press his lips onto yours. The body of his warmth and the acceptance of an inevitable end to your paths serve as the last page of a book never to be read again; and yet, he holds himself close, refusing to let you go. 

But when the end nears and the magic of the bells resume time once again, the two of you pull away to catch your breaths. Forehead against yours, Jin gives you one last, fleeting kiss. 

“Happy birthday, Y/N.”

❀ ❀ ❀

Deja vu would be the perfect term to describe this feeling.  You can almost see yourself in the room of hundreds, stealing glances at the man from afar. It only takes one blink for you to relive the rollercoaster of jubilance and confessions and tears. In the split second of darkness, the past week flickers before you like a film reel: breaking down in the middle of the hallway right in front of Jin, staring bewilderedly at the large bouquet in the hand of a man at the office, confessing with tears that stain your face and sobs that conquer your voice, meeting the woman who had stolen your spot beside Jin, and holding him in your arms as he cries his heart out at the stroke of midnight. 

And just as quickly as the whirlwind of memories had taken you on a trek of time, your eyes flutter open to find yourself in another suffocating room of hundreds once again. 

Youngji [8:39 P.M.] Hey Y/N do you think you can visit me real quick? 

The glaring text on your phone screen glows in an otherwise dimly lit reception room. Thumb hovering over the screen, your mind goes blank. People pass by you, commotions and laughter fill every corner of the room, and you stand there frozen and affixed to the floor beside the table of food with a glass of red wine in your hands. 

“Hey, Y/N,” someone whispers into your ear and you immediately turn your phone off only to find Alex on her tiptoes, “what’s the matter?”

“Oh, um, nothing,” you respond under your breath, “it’s just that someone wants to talk to me.” 

“Well, you better hurry then,” she ushers you with a gripping hand on your left arm, “the ceremony is about to start anytime now.” 

“O-oh, okay,” you nod, allowing your footsteps to follow the momentum of her push. 

This isn’t exactly what you had planned, for the original plan involved your complete avoidance of the groom and bride, but it’s unsurprising that things never quite go your way. Nothing could quite topple you like last night’s revelation anyways. Taking a deep breath, you weave through the audience, wandering about the venue until you finally find yourself in front of a door with a “BRIDE WAITING ROOM” printed in gigantic black letters taped to it. 

Hesitantly, you knock, “hello? This is Y/N…? Youngji called for me—”

“—Y/N!” The wooden door swings wide open with a highly distressed Youngji hiding behind it. Before you can reply or even confirm the identity of the woman, her hands clutch yours and pull you into the room with a force unimaginable for a human of her size.  Practically lurching forward, a heap of air is knocked from your lungs just as the door slams closed. Coughs force their way through your throat, but Youngji wastes no time to rush to your side. “Y/N, this is an emergency! I need help!” 

“W—” you wheeze, peering up at her as you’re doubled over “—what in the world are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know,” her hands jitter as she paces back and forth, “I don’t know why I feel so… so nervous!”

“Hold on,” you frown, finally straightening your back, “that’s perfectly normal. It’s your wedding—”

“—please don’t say that word again,” she begins biting her freshly white-coated nails.

“What word? Normal? Wedding? Your—”

“—I can’t believe it’s my wedding…” she says repeatedly, hands flying to her head and disheveling her previously perfectly conditioned curls. She suddenly turns to face you, eyes wider than ever with a look that screams of an epiphany. “I-I don’t think I can go there. Y/N, I don’t think I can go out there!”

“What?!” you almost yell, flabbergasted. Recoiling from your outburst, you start much more softly this time. “Are you sure? I’m sure it’s just your nerves getting to you. You’ve been okay with it for at least a year, right?”

“Why?” her eyes widen to unprecedented diameters as she grabs your arm for support. “Is it because it’s too late? Do you think I should back out, Y/N?”

“What? No, no, no, calm down, follow me,” you shake your head, grasping her hand and guiding her to the chair in the center of the room where an entire photo shoot has been set up. Lowering yourself to a squat, you give her a squeeze as firm as the smile on your lips.  “Hey, you’ll be okay. It’s just the jitters. Everyone gets them. I’m sure Jin is freaking out in his room, too.”

“...okay,” she nods, pouting as her eyes lower to your hands that hold hers. Peering up at her from below, you can’t help but notice how beautiful she looks dolled up on this special occasion. From the extravagant poof of her princess gown to the gorgeous glow of the bride herself, you find yourself lost in a trance that burns with heart-panging jealousy. You almost miss her when she murmurs, “how are you so calm, Y/N?”

“Huh?” you raise a brow and laugh. “Why would I be nervous? I’m not the one getting married here.”  

“But… your best friend is getting married,” she shifts to get a clearer look of you but finds you with your eyes to the floor, “are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“Of… of course. I’m happy for him,” you say through barely parted lips and stand to your feet before making your way to the door. “It’s not exactly traditional, but do you want me to get Jin? Maybe he can calm you down—”

“—do you know why Jin agreed to this arrangement?” 

Freezing in your tracks, you throw a glance over your shoulder to meet her distraught gaze. 

“Why are you asking me that now?”

“Because,” she blurts, clearly without thinking as words fail to follow through, “because I want your blessing! I want you to be okay with it!” 

“Blessing...?” 

“Yes,” she nods. “I can live with marrying a man I don’t love because I know I’ll come around, but I don’t think I can live knowing I’ve broken your relationship with Jin.”

Your weight shifts from your left to your right but the force of burden weighs immeasurably heavier on your very being. There’s nothing that would have prepared you for her request. Preparation, however, proves unnecessary, for your mind runs on its own and the words come to you as if rehearsal is all it's ever done. 

“I don’t think I’m in the position to grant you permission. That’s your decision and Jin’s,” you say, “and if my blessing is what you’re asking for, then I can give you it as many times as it takes to convince you. But if you’re asking for me to be okay with it, then I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give you that.” 

Those are your last parting words as you slump on the wall behind you and a heavy sigh is shared between the two women on opposite sides of the door. Head low like a woman unjustly ashamed for speaking her truth, you take a deep breath with those heavy shoulders that carry the weight of a woman who had essentially cursed the joining of two hands. Nevertheless, somehow, you persist to make your way through the halls just as the ceremony begins; but as the audience settles and the light dims, something tells you the guilt that intoxicates your blood would have a longer-lasting aftermath than you had first expected. 

“Hey,” Alex leans into you, whispering, “is it just me or does Jin seem really jittery?”

“...no,” you answer, making sure to keep yourself hushed amidst a room of seated spectators. From the second bench to the front, fortunately on the opposite side of where Jin’s parents sit in the front row, you get a clear view of Jin and Youngji in between the black silhouettes of a couple heads; but anyone in the room can tell the bright studio lights and elevated platform don’t help his constantly shuffling case. “I don’t think it’s just you.”

“I see… so both the groom and bride are getting cold feet, huh?” 

“Well,” you utter, quipping, “in Jin’s case, he’d probably just say he forgot to sleep with socks on.” 

Alex turns to you with sheer confusion across her furrowed brows, “huh?” 

But before Alex could inquire further, the priest clears his throat and begins the opening ceremony. The officiality of it all, a long-dreaded image of Jin standing by another woman’s side manifesting into reality, has you subconsciously sent into a frenzy. 

“Dear Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Kim Seokjin and Heo Youngji in matrimony commended to be honorable among all…”

The clearing of his throat strikes once and hard against your chest. Each word that reverberates in the room echoes the vibrating pain in the blood pumped from a gaping wound. Your chest heaves and heaves and your lungs struggle to maintain composure, and while your breakdown may have gone unseen by the rest of the universe, you know for sure only two would catch sight of your state.

You and him. 

“...if there is any person who can show cause why they should not be joined together…”

The priest continues and the tension in the audience rises by the second of a stress-inducing prompt, but the moment Jin catches your eyes and the panic painted across it, his every attention remains on you. Guilt should’ve painted your expression now, having stolen the groom’s admiration from the rightful bride by his side, but all you can do is relish in a fleeting moment you deem the least this cruel world owed you. 

Maybe he feels the same way, because something catches in your throat like the hunch that has chills running down the nape of your neck. You don’t dare move an inch. You fear any movement would give you away, though you’re sure he already knew the second he met you halfway.

His eyes, those dazzling eyes that could single-handedly freeze any moment in time, they ask you for a permission only he could grant. 

“...let them speak now or forever hold their peace.” 

No one speaks but the thick air that engulfs every witness in the room is telling enough. Holding a shared, bated breath, everyone awaits and prays for the quick passing of this deafening silence. Your heart is pounding so hard you worry your passing out would be the one interruption to the ceremony, if not anything else. It takes everything in you to remain hidden, glued to the chair. You can hear every single movement in this room, the squeaking of a nearly retired bench, the rustling of clothes amidst a fidgeting audience, the anxious tapping of someone’s heels against the wooden floor, yet no one dares to speak now. 

The priest sighs a soft breath of relief. 

Everyone but you follows along. 

The priest clears his throat and pro—

“—I would like to speak.”

A loud gasp travels across the room. Every witness, including the priest himself, stares at the young man, wide-eyed. The knot in your throat inhibits you from following suit, but the hammer against your chest works harder than ever; because there he is, your best friend, standing boldly before the audience with a puffed chest and a tightened fist that brace for the repercussions. 

It all happens so suddenly, so swiftly. The strings that were left raveled now unraveled, the paths that were abandoned now explored, and the love of a lifetime whomst once bid you farewell now holds on with a determination that tells you they aren’t quite ready to let go, by happenstance or by conviction, everything falls into place. 

You had reprimanded yourself relentlessly for envisioning a moment like this and you truly believed this would be the worst case scenario, so why is it that only now, as your peering eyes are enamored by the sparkles in his, you find yourself smiling proudly and thinking to yourself… that’s your man. 

“Father, mother,” Jin turns to face his parents in the front row, declaring loudly and firmly, “I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love.” 

“What,” Alex shrills under her breath as she clutches your hands, “what is going on, Y/N?!”

Her voice doesn’t reach you and neither do her cold, nudging hands. The ongoing commotion around the room are like white noise in your background. You can’t even spare a second of your attention to the picturesque vision before you, the man who fights not for you but for the two of you.

Jin bows, head hanging low to his parents and the audience, “I’m sorry for saying this too late.” 

Everybody watches as his mother attempts to hold her husband in place. All is in vein, however, when one look of the baffled expression on her husband’s face conveys enough to everyone of the mayhem that is soon to ensue. He rips her grip apart from his arm and storms to his feet, pointing a finger at his apologetic son.

“W—” he struggles to find his breath “—what are you saying? You said you were okay with this just last week!”

“I did,” Jin affirms with his head still hanging low, “I thought I was okay with it until this week.” 

“How—”

“—honey…” the mother murmurs.

“No, changing your mind is one thing, but changing it at the very last second is another,” his father shakes his head, yanking his hand and stumbling on his feet before his distraught son could lend a helping hand. “Did I teach you to inconvenience others like this? Do you know how much trouble you’re causing Youngji and her family?”

“I do,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

His father grunts, “don’t you see, Seokjin? ‘Sorry’ can’t fix everything—”

“—actually, Mr. Kim, it’s not just Jin,” Youngji bounces to Jin’s side then pivots to bow to her parents who sit in the row before you, “I, too, don’t want to marry anyone until I really know them.” 

Physically, the spotlight remains affixed to the stage. Mentally, it feels as though everyone’s attention is gradually creeping its way toward you. It takes everything in you and the grip of Alex’s hands not to run from the prying eyes. 

“What?” their parents gasp. “Didn’t you say you were okay with it if it were Jin?”

“I did!” she insists, suddenly retracting. “I did, until…”

“I’m sorry,” Jin lifts his head to turn to Youngji’s parents before bowing once again, “this is all my fault.”

“No, no, you wouldn’t do this... tell me, son,” his father takes a step toward the stage, beckoning for an explanation, “tell me who did this to you?” 

Jin lifts his head, brow furrowing and lips thinning as he chooses to remain silent to his father’s question. Suddenly, it’s everyone’s duty to catch the perpetrator. The audience begins craning their neck every which way to skim over the possible candidates. Your heart sends threatening waves of pain that foreshadow the inevitable chaos you’re about to be dragged into. 

You can barely move from staring at the floor in between the groom and bride but you can spot the gradual direction of his mother’s eyes making its way toward you… and when they finally spot you, a lightbulb flashing across her eyes the second you make the lethal mistake of meeting her gaze for the first time in many years, it’s as though her son’s rebellion is the only thing that makes sense in this universe. 

Only naturally, his father catches onto his partner’s maternal instincts along with the rest of the crowd as their diverged attention converges, one head turning after another, to stare you down—some with awe plastered across their jealous front, some with ghastly colors than drain their face of blood. 

“Is that… you, Y/N?” his father’s voice echoes in the room. “Seokjin, don’t tell me…”

“No, father!” Jin jumps in, holding up a defensive pair of hands as he attempts to quell the fiery in his father’s temper. Wide-eyed and panicked, he glances between you and his father. “It isn’t her fault. I swear. I”ll explain—”

“—don’t tell me you’re going through all this trouble for a childish crush from five years ago?” 

A loud shriek began the chaos the second Jin’s father exploded, lurching forward with a vexing fist. Everyone in the front rows jump to their feet to hold him back, whereas people in the back rows stand to their tiptoes to get a better view of the climactic show, which includes a once-to-be-groom insisting his father punishes him and a once-to-be-bride slapping her ex-partner in the head for his submission. 

People are hysterically laughing, crying, screaming, yelling, fighting, but you sit there, frozen and petrified, until a hand shakes your entire being to your feet. 

“Y/N, Y/N, God damn it Y/N, earth to Y/N!” Alex raises her hand, just about to give you one hard slap to the cheek when you suddenly flinch awake. She then hastily pushes you toward the door in the corner of the room whilst everyone is too distracted to notice your discreet escape. She looks you directly in the eye, “you need to run before things get too crazy. I’ll handle things here for now.” 

“But Alex, I’m at fault here—”

“—yes, I mean, maybe,” she corrects herself with the shake of her head, “but you being here doesn’t help matters. I’ll help Jin and Youngji.”

“But—”

“—now go,” she starts your momentum with an encouraging push, “go!”

Nodding, you begin your long trek of the night. You run and you run and you run. Your mind runs blank but your feet run a mind of its own. You sprint down the dimly lit streets, you pay no mind to the traffic lights of endlessly empty streets, and your hair twirls in the wind that impedes your speed down the hills. Your surroundings become a blur as your arms swing desperately, your chest heaves incessantly, your eyes sting with tears, and your lips spill anguished sounds of incoherency until somehow, under the sway of the town’s cold spring air and your flux of emotions, you find yourself in a familiar street of your greatest dreams. 

Depleted of gas, your feet stumble into a trot that has your knee nearly buckling, which then turns into a jog that then drifts into an untroubled walk in which your lungs try to catch up and your mind is scrambling at a hundred miles per hour but you, yourself, have gone elsewhere. 

The luminescence of the full moon is blinding but all the more soothing as you navigate your way through this street you’ve walked one too many times before. For some reason, perhaps out of habit or a hope for something waiting at the end of the tunnel, you begin to count each passing light post. Seven fluorescent lights, you count, seven lights resembling the rays of moonlight until you finally reach your old acquaintance of many years at the corner of the street. 

Leaning your head back to stare at the familiar white text on a green sign post, you smile at the homely sight. 

CHERRY BLOSSOM AVE

A comforting breeze blows by you, the branches above you rustle in the wind, and the cherry petals from your old pal flutter into the air to envelop you in a solace you had long sought but failed to obtain. It’s like the calm after a storm. Not quite disconnected from the string that loops around your fourth finger to those of another man’s—no, you couldn’t unravel it after all this heartache—but at least away from the prying eyes that could tear you apart and away from the people who whispered gossip of matters they had none in. 

Hours seem to pass in the clouds that retire to reveal patches of new twinkling ornaments. You would have believed it if someone were to tell you all control of time lies within the blink of your eyes. The silence was calming initially; but the longer you stand here and the more the numbness begins to fade, the more you become aware of your lonesome circumstances. 

The silence is deafening. It knows your greatest fears and your innermost thoughts. You can’t handle it. You can’t bear the thought of being left alone to that voice in your head. 

You have to go. 

Where? 

You don’t know. You just know you have to go somewhere. You can envision all the places you can run to but all the roads lead you to one destination. Yes, anywhere would be fine, anywhere that leads you to him. 

“This marks the second time you’ve ever been so enraptured by something other than me.” 

Whirling around, seconds seem to become milliseconds and gravity becomes a law unbeknownst to earth, for you can’t believe the sight your eyes lay upon. There he is, standing by the tree just a few meters away with a loosened necktie and disheveled hair, almost as if a pitiful albeit wondrous mirage crafted by your shoddy prayers to the moon above. 

“Hey dummy,” he simply utters, taking a step or two toward you before poking your forehead, “what? Why’re you staring at me like I’m a ghost?” 

“What?” you manage to say under your breath. “I’m not staring…”

“I was just joking, you know?” he chuckles. “I wouldn’t be jealous over a street post. Psh, I’m not that dumb—”

“—why…” you frown when he quirks a brow, “why are you here? How are you here?”

“Oh no, she’s gone crazy,” Jin laughs at the stupefied look you give him. “At least an hour or two has passed since you left. Somehow, I managed to sit my father down and explain myself.” 

“And… what did he say?” your hands begin fidgeting. “He must hate me, doesn’t he…”

“I wouldn’t say ‘hate,’ per se… he’s perfectly okay with you. In fact, he likes you, really. He’s just mad at how things happened. After he calmed down, though, he understood where I was coming from.” 

Cautiously, you peek at those eyes that peer down at yours, “and your mother…?”

“She said she saw it coming from a mile away. Apparently she saw us arguing at the engagement party and knew right away,” Jin purses his lips. “Psh, yeah, as if I’m that easy to read.” 

Allowing yourself the smallest of laughs, you still can’t seem to rid yourself of that panging guilt. “And… what about Youngji?” 

Jin stares intently at your expression before cracking a smile and chuckling, ruffling your hair, “don’t go crying on me now, Y/N. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything.” 

“But I just,” your voice cracks, “I just hate myself for ruining everything for everyone—”

“—hey,” he cups his fingers underneath your chin to lift your gaze to his, “you did not ruin anything for anyone. I did this. I chose to fight for us.” 

Hesitantly, you nod and he smiles in response. 

“Youngji’s still explaining to her family right now. She told me to find you and Alex told me you would probably here.” 

Frowning, you mutter to yourself, “how did she know…?” 

“Well,” Jin drops his hand from your chin to raise them in the air, “we did promise to swear our wedding vows here, didn’t we?” 

“So what?” you deadpan. “You’re gonna marry me now after all this mess?” 

“I know you really want to marry me as soon as possible, but I think I’m gonna have to take a break from weddings for now.” 

Rolling your eyes, you mumble, “ditto.”

“But hey, I may have already broken the third promise,” one corner of his lips curve into an apologetic smile before he shrugs, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t marry you in the future! Plus, I may or may not have promised my father I would marry you in the near future to make up for it, so...” 

Scoffing, you gawk, “and who said I would marry you?” 

“Who wouldn’t marry me?!” 

The two of you stare at each other in silence, but the mirrored grin that stretches across your lips are undeniable. Soon enough, a loud fit of giggles and cackles fill the air. It happens all too quickly. The banters come to you like second nature, the conversation flows like a river through time, and somehow you find yourself lying beside him on the blazer he had laid out on the grassy hill and star-gazing for hours on end. 

It’s almost like you’ve seen this all before, just five years aged. 

“So,” Jin speaks, “how’s your birthday been?” 

“Oh, shut the hell up.” 

“What?” he cackles, getting up to lean on his arm whilst hovering you. “You know it’s not too late to tell me what you want for your birthday!” 

“I already told you,” you narrow your eyes at him, “I wasn’t joking when I said what I said.” 

Jin smiles, “in that case…”

He leans in to diminish the distance between his lips and yours. A lulling zephyr blows gently on the cherry petals as you close your eyes and you can picture the way they gracefully descend upon the two lovers below. Having witnessed the unforeseeable promises from start to finish, it’s almost as though an old accomplice was applauding a long-awaited finale. 

And when he finally pulls away, eyelids fluttering open just as yours do, he speaks, “happy birthday.” 

“What was that for?” you giggle. 

Jin’s mouth falls agape, “I’m giving you what you wanted for your birthday!”

“Well,” you purse your lips, “where’s my ring to confirm it then?”

“After all this time, do you really need a ring at this point to confirm my love for you?” Jin rolls his eyes. “You know I’ll always want to be by your side, married or not.” 

A fit of laughs escape you as your hand reaches up to squeeze his cheeks, “I know, I know. I’m just joking.”

“Well, good, cause I’m bankrupt at the moment,” Jin sighs, plopping back onto the grass beside you. A momentary silence passes before he turns his head to look at you, “just to make sure, you said you wanted love, right?” 

Turning to meet those sparkles in his gaze, you answer, “yeah?”

“You said you wanted to feel love, right?” 

Your grin grows wider by the second, “yeah?” 

“Well,” he says, “do you feel it?” 

“I do,” you answer. “What about you? Do you feel it?”

The vows hold a truth much closer to his heart this time around, and he smiles as he swears...

“I do, too.” 

[security-breach-imagines]

New maintenance staff for the bots accidentally introduces sun and moon to swearing in ice cream flavors, like "what the mint chocolate chip(translation, fuck) did you say to me? I'll kick your strawberry shortcake(ass)!" Or "gah, Cookies & cream( damnit), that wasn't supposed to happen."? Got a headcanon or short scenario story for that? I would love to see it if you do. Love your writing BTW.

No one really knows when Sundrop or Moondrop started to use ice cream for swearing, it was funny at first listening to him dorky swear when something went wrong - but then there times when kids would repeat what he said to their parents. A whole of parents were mad about it for a lot of reasons but were told that it wasn't as harmful.

That was three weeks ago and now they were stuck hearing Sun or Moon's vanilla talk.

"Oh chocolate chips!"

Sunny swore as he looks for missing bells around rock hall where Roxy and Monty are in their room, the two being absolutely disappointed with the caretaker.

"Now where could those cookie & cream bells go?"

The alligator groans letting his head fall back onto the crouch as he strums his bass, while the wolf stops sharpening her claws for a moment.

"OUCH!! God that butter pecan hurt!"

Holding his hands where he pinched his fingers.

Vanessa walked in to check on any of the display cases for anything stolen, sighing having to listen to Sunny's unbearable swearing for a few minutes.

"I better hurry my strawberry shortcake back to the daycare, before any kids start attending."

Roxy, Monty and Vanessa groans when the gator got up and slammed his fist against the window.

"JUST FUCKING SWEAR ALREADY YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!!"

[fandomlit]

secretive (shane madej x reader)

requested by anon “Could you do a Shane Madej x reader where he thinks the reader is cheating on him with Ryan. Like they whisper things to eachother and stop when Shane enters the room, they text all the time and hang out without Shane a lot. He ends up snapping at the reader about it but it turns out they were actually planning a suprise for him.”

summary shane madej has never been an insecure guy. but when it comes to you, that side can come out to play.

gif cred belongs to @ryanbergara​

shane was rarely insecure. he had learned to become proud of who he is, lanky limbs and all. but of course, there was the occasional slip up--especially when it came to you.

when shane first met you, he was smitten. your dorky personality, stunning beauty, and unrelenting kindness drew him into you instantly, and he chased that feeling to the ends of the earth. and now, almost a year and a half into your relationship, he could honestly say that he has never been happier.

but of course, those pesky insecurities come out to play sometimes.

shane had volunteered to do coffee run that morning before filming unsolved. when he came back to the office where he had left you both, he saw you two sitting unbearably close at the desk, talking and smiling and ignoring everyone else in the room setting up for the shoot.

trying his best to brush it off, he entered the office and gave you both a smile. “caffeine time?”

you leaned away from ryan, clapping excitedly. “caffeine time!”

he gave a wide grin at your cheeriness and grabby hands, handing you the order he had memorized on your first date. 

you stood up from the desk and giggled, “you can have your seat back. i gotta get back to work.”

“alright, have fun,” shane smiled. you gave him a quick kiss before skipping off to your workplace. after shane settled in his seat with his coffee, he said to ryan as casually as he could, “what were the whispers about?”

ryan gave him an entirely unconvincing confused look. “what whispers?”

“between you and y/n,” shane explained, motioning to the door you had just exited through.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” ryan said, shaking his head at shane. before shane could press any further, you came back into the office.

“sorry,” you giggled. “forgot my phone.” you snatched off of the small table and then pointed to ryan with a serious expression. “text me, bergara.” and then you left, just as quickly as you had come.

ryan looked up from his prepared manila folder to the camera crew, not daring to glance at the unintentionally glaring shane, and spoke, “are we ready to roll?”

..

“who are you texting?” shane teased when he entered the living room to see you curled up, smiling at your phone.

“just ryan,” you shrugged. that didn’t sit right with shane.

“you two seem awfully close lately,” shane tried to comment nonchalantly. but if he implicated that anything was wrong in his tone, you didn’t notice. you just giggled as your phone buzzed with another text. shane took a sip of his tea with a frown.

after a while of smiling at your phone, you moved over to cuddle with shane as he watched a show on netflix.

you placed a kiss on his cheek as you draped yourself over him. “i love you.”

that did lighten his heart a bit. “i love you, too.”

..

ryan and shane got lunch together many days of the week. then he would come back to the office, pay you a visit in yours, and get back to work. but today, ryan had a different idea in mind.

“why don’t we eat with y/n today?” the shorter man proposed. that unsettled shane a bit. supernatural beings were nothing to him, but a guy taking invested interest in his girl friend as of late? that rattled him.

shane excused, “she’s usually busy during our lunch.. but we can check.” he shrugged. “no harm in that.” and though his thoughts betrayed his words, he led the way to your office.

you were on the phone when shane peeked in. you waved him in as you spoke, “it’s alright, lea.” you tapped your pencil against your desk as the boys filtered in. “yeah, just send it and we can edit and complete. it’s no problem. just relax and enjoy a day off, girl. of course. see you.” you hung up and gave the boys a smile.

“what was that about?” shane asked, coming closer to your desk to give you a quick kiss.

“was that the girl who hasn’t shown up for the past few days?” ryan asked, taking the seat across from your desk.

“yes,” you groaned. “im trying to be patient with her, she’s using some sick days so i can’t really get on her, but did she have to take off in the middle of this project?” you let out a huff.

shane was slightly bothered that ryan knew more about this than he did. but instead, he asked, “would it comfort you at all if we had lunch with you today? or is this girl taking up your schedule?”

you grasped his hand in yours. “please have lunch with me.” you reached out your hand to ryan, who laughed as he took it. you squeezed both of their hands, though shane’s lips were now tightly pursed. “this morning has been insane.”

“we got you,” ryan nodded with a grin that you returned sweetly. when you looked up at shane, he quickly changed his expression into a grin. he felt his jealousy rising second by second during the entire lunch.

..

shane had just walked into the breakroom to see you and ryan laughing as you poured yourself a cup of tea. “that’s actually not a bad idea, bergara. where’d you come up with that one?”

“i’ve got so much in this noggin, you don’t even know, l/n,” ryan responded easily, making you laugh again. shane still hadn’t been noticed, but he felt as if his heart was beating so loud that he surely would be.

“but yeah, shane stays late every thursday,” you continued, “so if you came over right after work, we should be able to get it all done and shane wouldn’t even know!”

“im a genius,” ryan praised.

“that you are,” you agreed, holding your cup out. he clinked his water bottle against it and you both turned to the door. shane was long gone.

..

you had stayed a little bit late that day, and so shane was stuck pacing your shared apartment as he awaited your arrival home, thinking of what to say.

his blood boiled as he thought of the implications of the past couple of weeks. you and ryan were definitely planning something. and with how close you two were lately, it was probably something that shane, your boyfriend, would not care for at all. and if his thoughts were right, then had this happened before? is he only noticing this now? he couldn’t even begin with what he needed to say to you.

you were the most important thing to him. from the moment he met you, he knew he had to be with you. and now that you could be cheating on him with his best friend? his heart was pumping and aching in his chest, and he didn’t know whether to be angry or sad.

when you opened the door, his head immediately shot up. “hey,” you smiled. after you closed the door behind you and took in his frantic state, you asked, “something wrong?”

“we gotta talk,” was all he could manage as he shook his head.

you furrowed your brow as you slipped off your jacket and dropped your bag. “okay..?” you stepped toward him. “what about?”

but your innocence just seemed to frustrate him. “i know about you and ryan.” you stopped in your tracks, but he didn’t dare glance at your reaction to his words. he was worried about what he’d find there. “i heard you guys talking in the breakroom earlier about meeting up when im not home, and how you two always text lately, and you’re always.. touching and..” he took a breath. “i know, y/n.” he finally looked up at you to see your face frozen in what seemed to be shock and concern. you stepped closer to him.

“shane, what?” he stood his ground, arms crossed as you moved in front of him. “shane, no.. no, i love you so much, i would never cheat on you.” you placed your hands on his arms and looked him dead in his eyes. but his expression remained stone.

“why should i believe that?” he spoke lowly.

he wished he hadn’t seen your heart break in your eyes. “shane, ryan and i are your best friends, we wouldn’t dare do that to you. we..” you let out a sigh through your nose and removed your hands from his arms to fish your phone out of your pocket. you unlocked it and handed it to him, revealing the texts between you and ryan.

scrolling up, he found:

boogara, 12:38pm okay, this might be a stupid question..

y/n, 12:42pm i love it already, do tell

boogara, 12:44pm alright do you think it would be at all possible to get balloons custom made as characters from the hotdaga?

y/n, 12:45pm OHMYGOD I LOVE IT WE ABSOLUTELY CAN IM LOOKING INTO IT RN

boogara, 12:46pm shane better appreciate this idea as much as you do when his birthday comes around

y/n, 12:48pm ryan, that man will celebrate harder than he’s ever celebrated before

boogara, 12:49pm he better

shane didn’t know what to make of that as he handed his phone back to you.

“we were planning a surprise party for your birthday,” you sighed, tucking your phone back into your pocket. “that’s why we’re so.. secretive.” you twiddled with your hands nervously. “but i guess not anymore.” shane didn’t know what to say. you looked up to him sadly. “you thought i was cheating on you..?”

shane’s heart burned with guilt. softly, he spoke, “i did, yeah.” your frown deepened. “but not because i don’t trust you,” he explained, taking your hand in his. you looked to your hands instead of his desperate eyes for a moment. “but because i just..” you looked up at him, and the words spilled out, “i don’t know, im just always in awe that i get to be with you and... i guess i got scared that maybe you thought i wasn’t good enough for you, because god knows im not.”

“shane,” you said softly, placing a hand on his cheek. “you’re perfect for me. ryan is definitely one of my best friends, but he doesn’t hold a candle to the love i have for you.” he offered you a short smile. “i only have eyes for you, dork.”

“im sorry,” he whispered. you pulled him in for a tight hug.

“i am, too,” you sighed, resting your head on his shoulder. “will you still act surprised for your birthday..? ryan’s pretty proud of himself.”

“i’d do anything for that little guy,” he sighed, pulling away from you to gaze at your sweet smile. “let’s go watch drunk history.”

forever tags <3 @bombardia @simonsbluee @ari-shipping-stuff @cheshirecat107 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof

[edgeofn1ght]

I'm rewatching Stardust, so naturally.... more half-assed ideas that will go absolutely nowhere, so Stardust obikin au?

Initially I couldn't decide on who's Tristan, but I think it should be Anakin. Because he would be so desperate to win Padmé's (Victoria's) love that he would promise her a star. (Built in jealousy-love triangle with Clovis as Humphrey for the win lol)

Which makes Obi-Wan Yvaine. Obvs. When Tristan meets Yvaine the first time, she's so wonderfully sarcastic and calls him a "magical flying moron"... tell me this isn't Obi-Wan.

It's very important that Anakin has his dorky AotC hair at the beginning, and it obviously becomes longer, just like Charlie Cox's hair 😄

Shmi is Una, of course, maybe Qui-Gon is the dad

Yoda is the old wall keeper

I feel like Ventress should be Lamia, the head witch after the Star because you know she's gotta be obsessed with Obi-Wan. And throw Maul in, too for good measure and maybe Savage since we need a 3rd witch 'sibling' Idk lol

And Palpacreep and Dooku and...? Could be all the brothers because the Sith are a bunch of backstabbers.

Holy shit Quinlan Vos as Captain Shakespeare??? Yes. And his ship is full of people like Kit Fisto, Cody, Rex, Aayla, Luminara, etc.

?????

Profit

So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Come onnnnnnn...

[kinkmaster3000]

oh wow if you can do more character a and character b things that'd be so cool!! maybe with an office setting, some secretary spread? >:9 im down for anything tho I'm still sad that other imagines blog is on hiatus :,(

This ask has been in my inbox for like two fucking years, very sorry to whichever beautiful person sent it 🙏 I mixed the genders up a bit just for funsies but they’re pretty much interchangeable with whoever you want to be in that role.

- A tends to be a comfort eater, and it’s been a very stressful day at work. He takes his lunch break and finds himself eating in the breakroom alone. He clears out everything he brought in about 5 minutes, and opens the fridge to get his drink, only to be tantalized by everyone else’s meals. He goes on a messy binge, devouring everything in record time and getting crumbs and condiments on his expensive button-down shirt. By the time he’s finished, the fridge and cabinets are completely empty and his shirt buttons are digging into his flesh. He feels too heavy and lethargic to move, and sits there in a daze. As the stupor clears, not only does he feel incredibly guilty about eating everyone’s food, but he remembers that he has a video conference in 15 minutes with some very important clients. The problem is, he cannot stop hiccupping and burping, so this would be a disaster. As he’s freaking out about his situation, his cute secretary, B, walks in to get a cup of coffee. He tries to apologize, feeling awful about eating her lunch, but she just smiles at him sympathetically, knowing the stress he’s been under. She just gives him a firm pat on the belly (bringing up a sizable burp) and goes off to call the clients and reschedule his meeting.

-Same as the one above, except character B is A’s client instead of his secretary. Even though B could be getting a better deal somewhere else, he continues to do business with A’s company because he finds A to be very attractive and likes dealing with him. He also happens to be a feeder. He’s excited for the video conference with A, and doubly so when he sees A miserably trying to stifle hiccups. He even awkwardly shifts his eyes downwards at one point, hoping to catch a glimpse of A’s stomach, before remembering that it’s a video call. A is looking increasingly more anxious by the minute, as he continues to hiccup and burp very softly behind his hand as he explains the figures, while B is just getting more and more giddy. Eventually, the tension in his stomach gets to be too much, and he can’t hold in a guttural belch that clips the microphone a bit. He’s mortified, apologizing profusely and trying to make an excuse to continue the meeting later, but B insists, lying and saying that he doesn’t fully understand the pricing yet. A reluctantly continues talking, accidentally burping a few more times, before he realizes that B doesn’t care at all. In fact, he seems very pleased. A begins letting out closed-mouth burps in-between sentences, regaining a bit more of his confidence with each bit of pressure that is eased out. B gives him a better offer than he began with, and (almost too) enthusiastically asks him to “talk about it over lunch” next week. A is thrilled about making a good sale, and has no clue about B’s devious intentions.

-A, a classy, serious woman who is in upper-level management at a prominent company, gets terrible indigestion from anything with even the smallest amount of spice. The problem is, she loves spicy food, the hotter the better. One day, during lunch, her bubbly, motor-mouth assistant manager, B, insists on the two of them going out to eat at a restaurant she just has to try. A reluctantly agrees to leave her work because B won’t take no for an answer). When they get there, she perks up a bit when she sees Phaal curry on the menu. It’s deliciously flavorful, and also packed with habanero peppers. She’s in heaven as she eats it, and then hell 10 minutes later as her chest starts to burn intensely and her stomach starts to roil. She tries to hide how bad she feels from B to maintain her image, but long, queasy belches that burn her throat start to come up involuntarily on the ride back. Her stomach is gurgling like thunder the entire time. She even has to pull to the side at one point and let the concerned and unusually quiet B, who is a notoriously bad driver, commandeer her precious BMW on the way back because she can’t focus at all on the road. A is completely undone, groaning, hiccupping and belching with increasing length and violence as they work their way back to the office

She manages to hold everything in as B ushers her up the stairs (wanting to avoid seeing someone else in the elevator), until she gets back to her private office. She’s horribly embarrassed and gives B a rare apology, saying that this often happens to her and she shouldn’t have gotten the curry knowing that. But before B can even reply, A’s notoriously strict higher-up gives them a call, wanting to speak with the two of them about some important matters. They know better than to decline the call.

The more they talk, the less A is maintaining. She’s having trouble keeping up with the conversation, and the pressure in her belly is becoming unbearable. Unable to take it anymore, she turns away from the machine and risks letting out a soft burp, but it keeps going and becomes loud and gravelly, tearing up her throat as it comes out. The entire room goes quiet, but before she can start apologizing profusely, B does it for her, taking the blame and saying that she ate too much at lunch. Desperate to save face, A scolds her and has her leave the room, apologizing on “her behalf” when the higher-up is displeased at her “unprofessionalism”.

After the call thankfully wraps up with no more outbursts, she rushes to find B, who is sitting at her desk and filling out paperwork, somewhat sullen. A apologizes for her actions, thanking B and saying she didn’t know what else to do. B simply stands up and knocks A harshly on the back, dislodging an even larger belch before. She asks if A “got it all out” and A just nods, a bit sheepishly. “That’s good and all, but I’m never letting you order spicy stuff ever again.”

- A and B are both receptionists for the same company, and work at the same desk answering calls. The two of them are close, and A has a bit of a crush on B, but she has a boyfriend and A is very shy, soft-spoken and dorky. B is kind of a glutton, which A thinks is adorable, and A loves to cook, which B thinks is adorable. So everyday, A brings B Tupperware of increasing sizes filled with delectable homemade meals. B can’t get enough of A’s cooking, and A can’t get enough of watching B chew and swallow and sighs in satisfaction. He finds himself listening very closely for little burps and hiccups, and when she wears blouses that are tight or sheer, he has a hard time keeping his eyes off of her belly. They do this every shift for a couple months, and B starts to get a bit of a stomach pooch. It drives A wild, but one day, B comes in looking distraught, and won’t talk to A. When she refuses his lunch, he presses her on what’s wrong, and she says that her boyfriend made an unsavory comment on her weight as she was getting ready that morning, blaming A for always pushing so much food onto her. A is hurt but apologizes, saying that it wasn’t his intention but that he thinks that she looks amazing with the extra pounds. B is touched and accepts A’s food, enjoying it as always, and finally starting to see him as maybe more than just a friend.

[persephonesinfernos]

have this moment forever | drabble.

summary: based on the prompt “you’re cute when you’re sick”.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

word count: 793.

author’s note: hey babes, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted something and I’m so so sorry but life’s been hectic but fear no more! I’m prepping a new series to start next week, so stay around.

masterlist.

(Y/N)’s been feeling a bit sick these past few days and even though she’s been doing anything in her power to not fell sick, all her attempts were in vain.

(Y/N) hated being sick, all her badass and tough persona disappeared every time it happened and she became a dorky and needy person. She could take care of herself or others anytime but no if she was sick.

Bucky, of course, loved it when (Y/N) was sick. It was the perfect opportunity to really take care of her, ‘cause she would let him. Besides, she would complain about everything and would only want to cuddle on the bed until she was perfectly sane.

He loved seeing her so vulnerable, he loved teasing (Y/N) about it and how her lips would form a pout asking him to just lay down on the bed and to hug her. He loved her, there was no denying in it. But those feelings were increased whenever (Y/N) was ill, not because he was concern about her – that he was – but also because her façade was down and usually, he was the only one able to show the real (Y/N), the child still present in her.

So when she woke up coughing and sweating he knew. He knew that she was ill, the flu? It didn’t matter because it meant that she was going to put on some sweatpants, one of his t-shirts, do her hair in a messy bun and staying in watching Netflix while drinking lots of tea.

Bucky got up and on to his daily routines knowing that for the first hours of (Y/N) waking up would be hell, she would be angry and would snap at anything said to her. Even if someone just was breathing around her.

When he finished doing his training and running some errands, Bucky walked to your shared room with a cup of hot green tea, two spoons of brown sugar. Just the way you loved it, it was almost boiling so he used his metal arm to carry the cup.

“Hey doll, how are you feeling?” (Y/N) was seated on the floor, her eyes were red as well as her nose.

“I felt better, but now I’m really good.” She tried to smile to him but got caught in the middle of a sneeze.

Bucky chuckled softly at her. He took a seat next to (Y/N), passing her the cup. She started to drink it, a stray of hair was loose so Bucky just tucked it behind her ear. (Y/N) smiled thankfully at him and just scooted closer, pressing her side to him trying to get as much warm as Bucky’s body would allow. 

“Thank you for taking care of me James” Bucky’s heart went crazy. That was her way of telling him that she loved him, use his first name. (Y/N) went to kiss him, lips brushing and then she sneezed.

Bucky got up and just shook his head looking at her with loving eyes. Taking his phone out, he started to film her. It took a few minutes for (Y/N) to realize what he was doing but when she figured it out, hell broke loose.

“What the hell Bucky?” She shouted walking towards him as Bucky backed away from her, still filming everything. “Why are you doing this?” (Y/N) asked softly, a pleading tone in her voice, already giving him the puppy eyes.

“I just want to have this moment forever, and you know how bad my memory is. So….” He teased her, knowing (Y/N) would say nothing regardless of his memory subject.

She groaned loudly and lunched to him, trying to grab the phone. Bucky laughing was able to move the phone away from her and just kissed her cheek. (Y/N) stopped in her tracks, he just knew what to do to make her legs go all wobbly. She just couldn’t resist him, especially if she was ill.

“Okay, fine. But drop the damn phone and come cuddling.” Both her arms on her hips, trying to look intimidating. But that only made Bucky laugh even louder, how could she be intimidating? Her hair was a mess, a mess in a not so cute and sophisticate messy bun and she was wearing these old sweatpants and a t-shirt too big for her.

“Nope, I’m just going to stay here and observe you doll.”

“Geez, you’re unbearable. Can’t deal with this right now” (Y/N) whisper-screamed glaring at Bucky as she spun in her heels and went for the bed, mouthing swearing words and groans.

“C’mon love, it’s that you’re so cute when you’re sick.” Bucky screamed as he put his phone down and went towards her so both of them could cuddle for the rest of the day.

[swiftgronmasterpost]

Spring 2012 - The Swiftgron Spring

Click here for a vibes playlist appropriate to this part of the timeline.

Taylor writes Holy Ground some time in February 2012:

Never missing a chance to be unbearable, Dianna takes this proto Folklore aesthetic photoshoot with Ashley and others at the beginning of March (the 4th?) (which makes me think Taylor and Dianna may have started something up at or around that February Oscars party, she’s certainly spending a bit of quality time with Taylor’s two best friends at this point):

And Dianna’s in a good mood:

The Speak Now Tour ends March 18, 2012 and right after it seems like Swiftgron is inseparable.  I think mid March is the official beginning to their relationship though it’s possible they had been in touch on and off since 2010 and it’s also possible that they started a long distance flirtation in the fall of 2011 (or perhaps at the end of February 2012 given Dianna starts hanging out with Taylor’s friends while she’s back on tour - but Taylor hasn’t followed Dianna on Twitter yet) but all I know for sure is they hang out constantly starting at the end of March 2012.

March 25, 2012 - Hunger Games Movie Date

The first Swiftgron solo hang that we know of Dianna and Taylor go to see The Hunger Games - Taylor had two songs on the movie soundtrack!  There’s no press there to see them so it really does appear they just went to catch the film together.  Dianna tweets about it but doesn’t mention Taylor but some fans take a picture of them so we know they were there together.

Also right before or on this day Taylor start to follow Dianna on twitter:

A couple other things to note about this day:

It rained all day!

It rains rarely in LA but I think this was the inspiration for the lyric “all I know is pouring rain and everything has changed”

This was also a Sunday and a matinee which of course Taylor sings about later in the song The 1.

March 28, 2012 - Dianna is feeling grateful:

So grateful she writes out a list and tweets Taylor (among others) about it!

The first thing she is grateful for is, “My heart, which is open!”

She also mentions “new” and “exciting” which Taylor perhaps references in the Swiftgron anthem Wonderland with the lyric “didn’t it all seem new and exciting?”

March 30, 2012 - Dinner at Il Pastaio

Two days later after Dianna’s happy tweets she is having dinner with Taylor and Taylor’s mother Andrea (meeting the parents for the first time?)

It seems that Dianna leaves out a side or back door to avoid being spotted but this article notes that she was there:

If their first date was the Hunger Games (which the pouring rain lyric in EHC makes me think it was), Dianna was meeting Taylor’s mother less than a week later! “Didn’t they tell us don’t rush into things” indeed!

That night Dianna is tweeting about someone with a great attitude and a funky spirit:

March 31, 2012 - Kids’ Choice Awards and Dianna’s House Party

This guy tweets a bunch proving that Taylor was at Dianna’s house party after the 2012 Kids’ Choice Awards. 

This is significant because everyone made a big deal about Taylor dancing a bit to You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful (and she is dancing around in an adorably dorky manner with Selena, Claire, lesbian icon Sharpay Evans [she’s come a long way since East High School! Go Wildcats!], and Katy Perry):

Here’s the full performance:

The camera pans over to Taylor five times.  Haylor shippers sometimes point to this as the start of their romance but to me it reads as though a PRomance is in the works or perhaps fans’ reactions to Taylor enjoying 1D (of course we all know how she loves to sing about women from the male perspective) prompted the idea of Haylor.  

All I know is that she went to Dianna’s house that night not out with Harry so who do you think was important to her at that point?

April 1, 2012 -  Taylor is at the Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas - she wins entertainer of the year and please look at Ashley’s reaction to suggestions that Taylor is dating Tim Tebow:

Then all the girls go to NYC together (even though it appears as though Taylor has no work related reason to be in NYC - Dianna is there to do some press.)

April 7, 2012 - Dinner at Otto:

April 8, 2012 - Spending time together at the Bowery (eye twitches) Hotel 

and for all the Haylor shippers? Harry didn’t show up...

April 9, 2012

Taylor is in Nashville:

Dianna stays behind in NYC and appears on The VIew.

April 11, 2012 - Taylor posts about recording Red (it appears to be Nashville due to the tweets surrounding it)

(Who’s got her so happy?)

April 12, 2012 - Taylor is still in Nashville

Dianna on Jimmy Kimmel (in NYC)

Ashley is with her!

Jimmy decides to get cute and brings up the “love triangle” between Dianna, Taylor, and Tim Tebow.  When she denies anything is going on with Tim he asks her if she’s dating Taylor. Dianna says “Noooo!” in what appears to be a brief split instance of surprise and panic but recovers smoothly and plays it off as a joke.  She quips, “Wouldn’t that be juicy?”  and turns to the camera to blow a kiss before saying, “Hi Taylor.”

Conclusion - Swiftgron is now traveling together.  Dianna and Taylor’s friend groups have completely meshed.  Taylor appears to go to New York simply to accompany Dianna since Taylor had no work related reason to be in the city that we know of.

The “I guess you’re in New York today” part of Come Back... Be Here (to be written later this spring) may be inspired by the period time where Taylor had to leave New York to work on Red while Dianna had to stay in NYC for work.

ALSO! Sometime this Spring Dianna answers a question about Taylor on her YM&C Blog and says she’d like to sing Ours on Glee:

Very cute since Ours is so soft and about choosing to love one another even though other people may object.

Click here to keep reading!

[aliwritesss]

~ Nothin’ like us

Pairings: Hyunjae x reader

Genre: idol au, angst, happy ending

———————————

You didn’t expect it. Not in the slightest.

No one from your group prepared anything and now you have to pull up something or you’ll be embarrassed on national TV. You can feel the stares and uncomfortable shifts from your members, no one thought they’d ask so suddenly to sing, since it was supposed to be a interview. Answer some questions, joke around for a bit and you’ll be able to go home.

- These days your group is quite famous for doing covers! One even went viral a few days ago... When I saw it I got so emotional, it was really touching -. Oh god, I can’t do this you think. You feel the hand of one of the girls touch you slightly, telling they’re here. If they’re talking about the one you did on vlive, it’s not going to end well. You were live just chilling with your fans and suddenly that song popped up, making everyone ask you to sing a bit.

- So I hope I’m not asking too much, but (Y/N) would you sing a bit for us? - You can feel sweat dripping from your back. That song meant the world to you, and you were not ready to sing it live with so many people staring at you. One thing is doing it in a live in your practice room where you are with your fans, being safe from tricky questions but this was different.

- I know you didn’t prepare it but I really hope it’s okay -. Says the MC looking at you with puppy eyes and you see how Sonbok, the leader of your group, is going to kindly decline the offer but that’ll be worse, it’ll look unprofessional and will make the atmosphere tense.

- Yeah, okay -. You say before she can say anything and you feel her looking worriedly at you. They know you weren’t ready to do it, they might ask questions after and will make the situation worse.

- Great! We even prepared a piano, we knew you wouldn’t let us down -. Says the MC happily and you see the staff taking out a small electric piano. You let nervous sigh and and go to take a seat.

- So... The song is Nothin like us... I hope you like it -. You say trembling. The song that makes your heart break for Hyunjae, your ex-boyfriend.

(...Lately I've been thinking, thinking 'bout what we had.

I know it was hard, it was all that we knew, yeah...)

You start singing with a trembling voice. All the memories suddenly come to you, hitting you like a car. It’s been almost a month since you broke up with Hyunjae and you didn’t move on, the pain felt the same way as it did the first day, unbearable.

You two met two years ago in a music show and since that day you’ve been in love with him. The way he’s shy at first, looking at everyone so serious and only standing there, it made you curious. “Why doesn’t he say anything? Maybe he doesn’t like me?” Boy, were you wrong... Once you started to get comfortable with each other, it was chaos.

He made you laugh, could make you shiver like no one did before, knew how you were feeling by just looking at you. He even was there when no one was. Didn’t leave your side even in the darkest times.

But it’s all gone now.

(...Have you been drinking to take all the pain away?

I wish that I could give you what you deserve…)

That’s what you wanted to say to him. Are you doing okay? You deserve the whole world and I’m sorry I can't give it to you.

Kevin and Changmin told you that he was miserable, he wouldn’t eat for days and couldn’t focus properly when they practiced. They begged you to talk to him, to tell him that it's gonna be okay, that you were there for him but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. No when you knew he deserved better. Someone who could be there for him.

Even though the breakup was mutual because of your schedules, you both knew you didn’t want to do it. And that’s the worst part, when you can’t be with the person you love.

(...Cause nothing can ever, ever replace you

Nothing can make me feel like you do…)

You feel your voice starting to break, but you keep going. The day after you broke up, the first thought that came to your mind was “ I can’t do this, I can’t do this without him.”

You remembered the first night you spent together, both of you just finished your promotions for your comeback and were tired as hell. But one day you received a message from him telling you “ Pack some things, we’re going on a trip. Picking you up in 20.” Till this day, that is your best weekend ever.

You went to the outskirts of Seoul, nothing too fancy. Only a little house in the middle of a forest to have some privacy, and since it was the end of September it wasn’t too hot or cold.

He was so excited to be there with you and kept saying the whole ride how he was going to prepare some fancy dinner, but that ended up with the two of you making a mess in the kitchen and eating ramen on the floor.

You still have this pic of him, having flour all over his face, trying to kiss you with the biggest smile.

(...You know there's no one, I can relate to

And know we won't find a love that's so true…)

You start to feel tears in the corner of your eyes but at this point you don’t care anymore.

“ I just want to tell you before I go that you made me so happy, and I’m thankful to have met you. You’ll always be my first love and I hope I can find you in another life, one that we can be together forever” That’s what he said the day you both broke up. You were so angry with the universe, Why did you have to meet the love of your life only to not be together?

The hardships, the rumors, the stress, the fans, the pressure… No one could relate like him. No one understood you like him.

And you knew you needed him to keep your sanity.

(...I gave you everything, baby, everything I had to give

Girl, why would you push me away? yeah….)

You both gave everything in this relationship.

He was your first time and you were his, in every aspect. He was so caring, it made you feel like a goddess. Every time your skin touched his, you felt the electricity.

Thanks to him, you were able to finally understand what true love is. What it means to have a friend, a lover, a confidant, a partner in crime all in one person. He was the reason you could keep going everyday.

But as the days went by, both of you started to grow apart because of schedules… So many things to prepare. You couldn't see the difference between day or night anymore. However even though you both tried with all your power to make it work, it wasn’t possible, the day only had 24 hours and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't find time for your relationship.

(...Lost in confusion, like an illusion

You know I'm used to making your day…)

You remember the nights you spent in their practice room, watching them dance and practice for their performances. How many sleepless nights you spent with them, but you didn’t care the slightest because every hour was worth it.

How many times have you called him crying in the middle of a day because you thought you couldn’t do this anymore? But you only needed to hear him laugh to make you feel better.

How many times did you send selcas in between your schedules? Or how many times did he send you dorky and cute videos telling you how much he loved you?

You still have every single pic and video in your phone, and you weren’t going to delete them any time soon.

(...But that is the past now, we didn't last now

I guess that this is meant to be, yeah

Tell me was it worth it? We were so perfect…)

This part hits you home and that’s when your tears start to fall.

You would live this life again if that meant being with Hyunjae. You love him so much, and are so grateful to have met him that even if you didn’t get your happy ending, you would go through hell again only for a last kiss.

Every single minute was worth it.

(...There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together through the storm

There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together…)

You’re not singing anymore for the people.

You’re only singing to Hyunjae and you mean every word.

There’s nothing like your relationship.

There’s nothing like him and you together.

There’s nothing like your love.

You finish the song with your eyes closed and trembling hands. Everything is so quiet that you are afraid to open your eyes.

And after that everything goes in a blur, you only remember the MC thanking you many times, the arms of one of the girls wrapped around you, taking you to the car and raining non-stop.

You finally get home and can’t wait to go straight to your room and cry your eyes out. You get out of your car and start running to your dorms, only to find someone sitting in the rain.

To find the love of your life waiting for you.

You stare at each other for a few seconds, and once you realize he’s actually there you go straight to him running and wrap yourself around him. How much have you missed his arms, his kisses. He was your safe place.

- I saw it -. He says quietly and you know he’s crying too. - You don't know how much I missed you, love-. You feel the rain pouring but you don’t care anymore, if you are with him you’ll get together through the storm.

- I’m not gonna let you go ever again. Because there’s nothin like us -.

[wonder-kid-pugh]

The Bet - (Kelley O'Hara x reader) part 3

"Please tell me you didn't"

I scrunch my face and look at the forward, "Hey Chris. I'm good thanks for asking, how are you?" I guess she isn't in the laughing mood as she shakes her head at me, "This is serious Belle. Please tell me you didn't". "I didn't what?" I ask. The forward sighs exasperatedly, "Please tell me you didn't sleep with Kelley". My head snaps to her as I slam my locker shut, "What!"

She tugs on the hoodie I'm wearing, "That's Kelley's hoodie. She always wears that hoodie". I tilt my head at her before looking down at the hoodie and my eyes widen as I see she's in fact right, "Shit. I forgot to give it back to her and I was in a rush this morning that I just grabbed the nearest one". She narrows her eyes at me, "So you did sleep with her?"

"No! I did not sleep with Kelley" I whisper shout at her before calming down a bit, "Look she came over to my house and we ended up hanging out and going for ice-cream. On the way back it was raining and she gave me her hoodie. I must have forgotten to give it back to her. And like I said today I was in a rush and grabbed the closest thing to me on the way out the door".

"How does she know where you live?" Christen asks. I snort, "Guess who's my new neighbor". Her eyes widen, "No way!" I nod with a chuckle, "Way". Christen let's out a breath as she runs her and through her hair, "Look I'm sorry. But I'm really only trying to look out for you. Kelley's one of my best friends but she doesn't have the best track record when it comes to dating and I just don't want to see you get hurt".

I smile at the green eyed girl and hug her, "Thanks Chris. I'm so thankful to have you as my friend". She hugs back, "I'm glad your my friend too B". When I pull back I look at her with a smirk, "Now tell me about your date with Tobin this weekend".

Kelley's Pov

"Are you sure about this Kels?" Tobin asks as I put my books into my bag, "I mean it Kel. Your playing a dangerous game". "You talking about the bet?" I ask. She runs her hand through her hair and let's out a heavy sigh, "This is serious Kelley! This isn't just some girl anymore, this is our teammate". Tobin nods her head down the corridor where I turn and see Christen and Belle both smiling and laughing about something, "Christen is getting really close with her. She will kill you if you play her like every other girl you've ever had".

I keep my eyes on Belle watching her smile and giggle as Christen tells her something, her hands waving all over the place. Her eyes had this certain sparkle in her eyes as she listened to her which made her eyes shine. "It's just a bet Tobin" I say. I shut my locker closed, "Besides" I start, "she'll never know". I look back at her and smile as I see my hoodie she's wearing, "I'll make sure of it".

I walk towards the two but just as I reach her it seems Christen leaves to head to class, the idea of being late is unbearable for the girl. "Hey Beauty" I grin as she chuckles and nods back at me, "Hey Beast". I smirk and look her up and down, "Nice jumper...I could have sworn I've seen it somewhere before though". She blushes slightly and crosses her arms in front of her, "I didn't even realise I brought. I was in a rush this morning and grabbed the closest thing. Do you want it back?"

But I shake my head, "Nah it's fine. It looks better on you anyways..." She licks her lips with a hint of a smile but quickly shakes her head, "What's up so?" I raise an eyebrow at her, "Well I was wondering when I could bring you on our date?" But she furrows her eyesbrows at me, "Did we not go on our date?"

"Funnily enough when I got home I found money in my back pocket that magically got there" I say making her grin with a small smirk. "So because I didn't pay that means it wasn't a real date so that means I still have to take you out for our deal" I smile cheerfully.

She playfully groans throwing her head back, "So if I ask for the money back does that mean we don't have to go on a date?" I shake my head, "Nope! I already spent it so no take backs! We are going on a date". She sighs with a roll of her eyes, "I guess there's worst things...." "Admit it, you love me really" I tease but she rolls her eyes and nudges my shoulder, "Cmon we have class".

"Let's go Beauty"

But as we sit in class my head was anywhere but. All I could think about was the conversation I had with Tobin and I look at the girl beside me furiously writing notes next to me. I knew she hated the reputation attached to me. She never hid that from me she was very vocal about it. So I knew how much it would hurt her if she knew about the bet. Especially after her opening up to me about her family life at home. Something like that you don't just tell to anyone.

The thought of hurting her made me feel a pang in my heart. But I had to shake it off. Everything would be fine. It's no big deal. As long as she never finds out nothing will happen. But who was I trying to convince?

Tobin or myself?

.............

"I don't understand you" she tells me as we sit in her room doing homework and just hanging out really. It's become a daily occurance really. We share a few classes so I usually come over to her house so she can watch Peter while we do homework. Then on the weekends I was just hang out here or we would walk around or do something.

Today though we had the house to ourselves as Peter was at a friend's house and her mom was at work like usual. "What do you mean?"

She sighs and looks at me hard as if she's studying me, "You act different when it's just the two of us like this. Yet when we're at school your all cocky and arrogant and live up to your reputation. But when it's just us your revert back to your dorky goofy self which I can actually tolerate". I scoff, "I would hope you would more than tolerate me if we hang out this much".

She gives me a look, "I'm serious Kelley. Why?" I scrunch my face at her, "Why what?" She groans frustrated throwing her hands up, "Why me? Why do you act different with me? You flirt but you make sure not to cross the line. We constantly hang out but your careful to make sure to keep in line and not do anything I'm not comfortable with. And I'm not the only one who hasn't noticed that you haven't slept with anyone in months. So I'll ask again, why me?"

I bite the inside of my cheek as she stares back at me expectantly. I open my mouth trying to say anything but no words come up. I sigh as I look back at her. Not knowing what to do and in a moment of complete impulse.

I kiss her

But as I realise what I'm doing I immediately pull back and start spluttering out an apology, "Shit! Belle I'm sorry! I shouldn't have-" But I'm cut off my her lips meeting mine. I slowly kiss back. Her hands cup my face as mine trail down her back before finding purchase on her waist pulling her closer to me.

We continue to kiss until I pull back both of us breathing heavy. "Because your different" I answer as she stares back at me, "I don't have to live up to this reputation when I'm with you. When I'm with you I just get to be me and I like you for that. You got to know me without my reputation. Why would I want anyone else when your here?".

"No games?" She asks and I could hear how vulnerable she sounded as I nod, "No games". She nods and cuddles into my side hugging me, "Just....please don't leave". I hug her back and kiss her head, "I won't. I promise". We stay like that just laying with each other.

And it was then I completely forgot about the bet

...........

"So I guess you won the bet" Ash says as we walk to training with Tobin and Allie. I shake my head, "No I didn't". Allie looks at me, "So your saying..." But I nod, "We haven't slept together". Tobin narrows her eyes at me, "What are you playing at O'Hara?"

"I'm not playing at anything! I genuinely like her. I know this started out as a bet" I say but I smile as I start thinking about my girlfriend, "But at some point it stopped being about the bet. I really like her guys". Ash coos, "Awe our little squirrelly has finally grown up!" I roll my eyes at her, "Shove off". "Does she know about the bet?" Allie asks. I bite my lip and shake my head, "No. She doesn't".

"You need to tell her Kel" Tobin says. I frown, "I can't". "Why not?" She asks. I think back to what she told me about her family. If she knew about the bet she would be destroyed and she would never trust me again. I shake my head, "I just can't Tobs". Tobin sighs as we come up to the field, "Look Kels you need to tell her soon before she finds out from someone else. Imagine how much worst she'll feel if she finds out from someone that isn't you. She doesn't deserve that Kelley".

I nod, "She doesn't but if I tell her she'll be hurt anyways and she'll never want to be with me then". "Well shouldn't that be her choice?" Tobin challenges but before I could answer the team spots us. I go over to Belle and wrap my arms around her waist, "Hey Beauty". She giggles and leans back into me, "Hey Beast". "Do you want me to walk home with you and pick up Peter? We can pick up food on the way?" I ask as I rest my chin on her shoulder.

But she shakes her head, "No it's fine. One of Peter's friend's mom is dropping him here and then we'll walk home". "Cool. Still up for movie night?" I ask. "As long as your fine with Disney cause I promised Peter could choose then sure" she laughs. She turns her head to the side so I can peck her lips and I hum, "Sound great".

"How do you do that?" Mal asks. We both look at her confused before she points at us, "You have Kelley whipped. How did you do that?" The team and my girlfriend laugh as I glare at the younger forward, "Shut it before I go and tell a certain baseball player about your crush on him". Belle detaches herself from me and walks over to Mal hugging her, "Don't you dare come at my Mal Pal"

I stare at her shocked, "Your my girlfriend! Your supposed to be on my side!" She just gives me a cheeky grin, "But she's my Mal Pal". Mal grins as she hugs her back, "Yeah!" She sticks out her tongue at me as the rest if the team laugh. "But!" I try but she shakes her head and walks back over to me, "Nope!" "Belle!" I whine but she just mocks me back, "Kelley!" We hold each others stare for a minute before I sigh and cross my arms, "Fine!" She smiles and pecks my lips again quickly.

"Oh my god the power" Sonnet teases but is bonked on the head with a ball that Belle throws, "Hey!" But my girlfriend just shrugs, "Only I can tease Kelley". As Belle starts to mess around with I smile as I watch them.

"She's good for you"

I turn and see Christen coming up beside me and I nod, "Yeah". "I still haven't decided if your good for her" she says. "Chris" I sigh but she shakes her head, "I'm allowed be cautious Kel she's my best friend. I just don't want her to end up like all your other girls. I don't want her left heartbroken after you". "I really like her Chris" I whisper as I watch her and Mal team up against Sonnett and Lindsey. Christen sighs, "Just don't hurt her Kelley she's too pure for that". I smile as Mal and Belle cheer as they're able to knock the two blonde over but quickly stop and run as they start to chase after them, "I'll try". But Christen shakes her head, "You better do more than try O'Hara". But as I open my mouth to protest I'm cut off by a loud shout.

"Kelley!"

I turn to see the small seven year old running towards me, "Petey!" Once he's close enough he jumps up and I catch him before playfully spinning him around making him giggle. I can see Belle over talking a woman probably one of Peter's friend's parents who agreed to bring him here. "You training?" Peter asks me as I hitch him up on my hip. I smile and nod as I start tickling him, "Yup! Wanna play with me for a bit?" He nods rapidly as I put him back on his feet as I grab a ball and roll it towards him. We pass the ball back and forth for a little while before Belle comes over and joins us, "You being good Pete?" He nods but I grin, "No he isn't! He keeps megging me with the ball!"

Peter grins widely as Belle crouches down beside him and and high fives him, "Good boy". I hold my hand over my heart in mock hurt making them giggle even harder. As Belle picks him us the rest of the team starts to surround us. "Who's this little guy?" Christen smiles as she looks at Peter in Belle's arms. Belle smiles at the team, "Girls this is my little brother Peter. Pete these are my friends that I told you about. The ones I play soccer with". Peter flashes them a toothy smile paired with a small cute wave which makes the youngsters awes.

"He's adorable" Mal squeals making Peter's smile widen even more. "How old is he?" Rose asks and I just look at Peter who counts it out on his finger, "7!" "Wow that's big!" Ali smile as Peter nods. "Why didn't you tell us you had a brother?" Tobin asks. But Belle just shrugs, "Guess it just never came up". "How come he already knows Kelley?" Sonnett asks. But before either of us could answer Peter's face lights up, "Kelley comes over a lot. She does homework with Bells and she plays with me and gets me ice cream. She's Bells best friend!"

But as soon as he says that Christen shakes her head, "Oh hell no". She plucks the seven year old out of Belle's arms and carries him off toward the stands. "Uh Chris? What you doing?" Belle shouts after her. "There's no way in hell your brother is going to like Kelley more than me!" I scoff as the rest of them giggle before following Chris towards the stands leaving me and Belle alone.

"Did they just kidnap my little brother?" Belle asks while I nod, "Yup!" "So what were you and Chris talking about before I came over?" She asks as she tangles her fingers with mine as she interlocks both our hands together. I smile and spread our hands out wide so she comes closer to me, "Just how I'm not good enough for you". She sighs and frowns a bit, "I'm sorry Kels. I'll tell her to lay off". But I shake my head with a tiny smile, "No she's right I'm not good enough for you". Her frown deepens as she watches me but I give her a small smile back, "Your amazing and I know my previous relationships have been less than stellar. But being with you makes me want to be better. So yeah I know I'm not good enough for you".

"But one day I hope I will be"

............

I was grabbing some books from my locker when I felt arms wrap around my waist. "Well hello" I chuckle. But I'm surprised when I'm grabbed my the shoulder whipped around and pulled into a kiss. But I don't kiss back knowing that Belle isn't usually like this and it doesn't smell like her. And I'm right as I push her off of me instead of seeing my girlfriend I see Reagan.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask as I wipe my lips on my sleeve. But Reagan just smirks at me. "What's going on here?" Belle asks as she comes up behind me. I put my arm around her, "She just came out of nowhere and kissed me!" But she doesn't back down, "Cmon baby you can drop the act now". I step back away from her as Belle scrunches her face at her in disgust, "What are you even talking about?"

At this point a crowd begins to gather obviously trying to see what's happening. But I can feel my stomach drop as Reagan's smirk only grows as she crosses her arms. "Didn't your girlfriend tell you?" Belle glances at me, "Tell me what?" "That your nothing more than a bet. Do you seriously think that she actually cared about you? The only reason she's dating you is to win a bet" Reagan announces to everyone listening.

And just when I thought things couldn't get any worst, Reagan twists the knife in the worst possible way.

"Why would the biggest player in school want you. Hell not even your dad wants you"

It's a deafening silence as I don't even know what to do. I don't even know how she knew about that. But I can see Belle tense up as she clenches her fists. But just as I think she's about to launch herself at Reagan she instead pushes herself through the crowd. "Belle wait!" I follow her pushing past people. She has a head start on me but I follow her into the locker room. When I enter I see her throw a soccer ball against the lockers her back to me, "Belle?"

"Tell me she's lying" she says. She turns around and I frown as I see tears well up in her eyes. "Tell me it's not true and I'll believe you. Please tell me it's not true" she pleads. For a split second I think about lying to her but I keep my mouth shut knowing that will only make this so much worst and I guess she can tell as she glares at me, "Goddamnit Kelley answer me!" I wanted nothing more to tell her it was all a lie, that she was just sprouting nonsense and we should just forget about it. But I can't lie to her. "It's not what you think" I say barely above a whisper.

She lets out a bitter chuckle as she wipes her hands over her face, "Of course. I should have known". "Please just let me explain" I beg stepping towards her but she whips around on me, "No! You don't get to try and fix this. I don't think there's anything you could say that can fix this".

She glares at me, "Did the team know? Did Chris know?" I'm frazzled as I try to answer, "No-I mean yes but-" She doesn't let me finish as she scoffs, "Oh fucking course. Of course they fucking knew". She runs her hands frustratedly through her hair, "All of you were probably having a big old laugh behind my back right? What did you tell Christen to warn me to make it more of a challenge? Thought it would make the game more interesting? See if I was dumb enough to still go for you even after she warned me about you? How could I be so stupid?"

I shake my head, "No Beauty please it wasn't like that!" "Don't call me that!" She shouts at me. "You don't get to call me that" her voice cracks. "Belle please" I say tears starting to well up in my own eyes. She shakes her head, "I can't believe I was so stupid to actually think you could change. That I could change you. I should have known I wouldn't be enough to change you. I never am". She swipes at her face not allowing the tears to fall.

I wanted to scream at her. Yell, shout anything to tell her she was enough. That she was so much more than enough. But I don't know why but it was like I couldn't move. But honestly I don't think it would have mattered at this point. I had broken her trust.

And there was nothing I could do to make her believe a word I'd say

I just stood there not wanting to say anything that could make everything impossibly worst. She just sniffs wiping her nose on her sleeve before crossing her arms around her almost as of she's hugging herself, protecting herself. I have never seen her in a more vulnerable state. I could feel my heart crack as she looked me in the eye showing me her blood shot eyes all red and puffy, "I never want anything to do with you ever again Kelley O'Hara".

Without another word she swiftly leaves the locker room. Carefully not to even brush past me, not wanting to even touch me. I wanted desperately to run after her and tell her everything. I just wanted to run after her and hold her. Reassure her that this was all a misunderstanding and she had everything twisted. I just wanted to tell her she was so much more than enough. I wanted to tell her that I love her. But I knew I couldn't. She was heartbroken.

And it was all because of me

............

A week

It's had been a week since Reagan told the entire school about the bet. It had been a week since Belle found out. It had been a week since she pretty much broke up with me. It had been a week since I had experienced my first heartbreak. It had been a week since I had last seen Belle. It had been a week since she blocked my number after numerous attempts to call and text her.

It had been a week since she left my hoodie on my front door step

She left school immediately after what happened and hadn't returned to school since. She didn't come to class or training. Everyone on the team tried to reach her especially Christen and the youngsters but no luck. I didn't even see her at her house. I tried going to her house. But the blinds were drawn with no sign of life and when I tried to knock I would get no answer.

But whether she was there or not I don't know but either way no one was answering the door.

When Chris heard what happened she was furious. She practically launched herself at me ready to attack me for hurting her best friend and I pretty much let her but the rest of the team pulled her back off me before she could do any real damage not accounting the bruise I had my back from when she shoved me into the lockers.

Everyone could tell things were different. The team was falling apart. The dressing room was buzzing with talk or life as it usually was. The youngsters weren't joking or laughing as they use to. The team didn't play the same. We could barely string a series of passes together. There was a big massive hole missing in the midfield that was missing someone to call for passes and to slot if through for the forwards. There was no one praising the youngsters for a good practice. There was no one lift team spirits.

But just when I thought things couldn't get worst, they did.

After another dreadful practice we all dragged ourselves into the locker room only to notice something had changed. The locker across from mine was cracked open. In-between Mal and Rose's locker everything was bare. I slowly open the door only to find everything had been emptied out. The locker that was full before training had been cleaned out and stripped bare. The locker that always had extra prewrap incase her teammates needed any. The locker that always kept a speaker in case we wanted to lift team spirits and let loose before a match or a particularly hard training session was now gone. Even the sticker on the front of her locker had been ripped off but not entirely only leaving behind her number.

Actually that wasn't true. As I reach inside left folded neatly in her locker was her jersey along with her key to the dressing room and locker. Which could only mean one thing.

Belle had come and cleaned out her locker while we were training and she had no intention of coming back.

I trace my hand over her number looking down at it sadly before I hear a locker slam. I barely get to turn around when Christen pushes me back against the locker. The whole room is shocked as they have never seen Christen like this as she holds me against the locker glaring at me furiously. "Chris!" Tobin breathes out as she moves up behind her but Christen ignored her. "This is all your fault O'Hara!" She growls at me, "you promised me you wouldn't hurt her and you did it in the worst possible way". She looks at me hard as if debating what to do next but thankfully she releases her grip on me. But she still glares at me, "Just when I don't think you could get any lower, if usual Kelley fashion you prove me wrong".

She doesn't even wait to get changed as instead she snatches her bag from her locker and leaves but not before hitting my shoulder on the way out. Everyone looked at me to see what I would do. All of them probably expecting me to do something. But I can't find it in me. As instead I as well grab my bag and walk out of the locker room in defeat to start the long walk home. As I'm walking home though I pass the park that I brought Belle and Peter to for the first time. The place we would come so often so Peter could play or even for us to mess around with a ball together. I change my course to park myself at the bench where we had our first real conversation and I just sit there wishing I could turn back time to that moment.

I don't know how long I'm sitting there before someone sits beside me. I turn hoping to see her but my shoulder slump slightly as I see it's only Becky. We just sit there for a while before I sigh, "Why don't you hate me?" She just looks at me with a small smile, "Now why would you think I hate you?" I shrug stretching out my legs in front of me, "Well I wouldn't be surprised. I single handedly destroyed the team. Christen hates me, the youngsters don't know how to act around me, Chris and Ali lost it when they found out Tobin and Ash knew about the bet. I didn't only ruin my own relationship, I dragged their relationships into it as well. The team has never been so divided. So I wouldn't be surprised if you did hate me".

Becky shakes her head at me, "I don't hate you Kel". I look at her as she looks at me sympathetically, "It may have started as a bet but I could see how much you cared about her. Everyone could and I think that's why everyone was so upset. Because they genuinely thought you were done with everything and everyone else. That you were happy with Belle. And then when everything went down they didn't know which side to take". She sighs as she leans back, "I don't know if you remember but before we met Belle. When we first heard about the new student coming I told you I didn't like your lifestyle per say and I told you one day it would come back and bite you in the ass and you would regret it later".

I scoff, "Are you really going to tell me "I told you so" right now?" She snorts but shakes her head with a smile, "Maybe later but right now no". She looks at me seriously, "Look you can't change the past. But that doesn't mean you can't do anything right now. If you really care about her, show her she was so much more than a bet. Show her that you love her". I bite my lip as I look down at me shoes kicking a lonely stone on the ground, "Do you really think I could fix everything?" She shrugs as she gets up from the bench, "You don't know until you try". But she gives me a smile.

"But the Kelley O'Hara, since when do you give up on something you believe in?"

............

I stare at the door in front of me. I bite my lip as I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet as I try to talk myself into knocking on the door. I knew it shouldn't be this hard. I been here so many times that I didn't usually have to wait for someone to answer the door usually just use to walking in. I had been acting like I haven't been here for everyday for the past week waiting outside her house hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl I've fallen for. Wait to pounce at the chance to talk to her. But I knew fear was hold me back this time. This time I knew I had to make it up to her and the overlying fear that she would completely reject me wanting nothing to do with me after everything that's happened which would be understandable.

Letting out a heavy sigh I quickly knock on the door before the fear overwhelmed me entirely. I prayed that this time it would be different. That someone would open the door. That I would at least have the chance to explain. "Beaut-" I start but I catch myself and correct myself, "Belle? Can you please open the door? Can I please just explain?" As usual there was no reply. "Please just....open the door. Please take one more chance on me" I beg through the door. I wait for a second hoping for any sign of life.

But still no one opens the door

I sigh and run my hand through my hair as I turn about to walk back to my house when I hear the small click of the door opening. I whip around but tilt my head when it's not the person I expected to see, "Petey?" He waves at me happily. But he quickly stops as he sneezes into his elbow and pulls a blanket tighter around him. I frown as I see him sniffle with the tip of his nose bright red.   I open my mouth to say something to him but I'm cut off by a shout, "Peter! What have I told you about opening the door to strangers?"

But she stops once she sees me. I lick my lips as I look at her for the first time in over a week. She isn't smiling like she use to. It's more like how she was when we first met. Not smiling but not frowning so I guess that's something. Peter now frowns, "But it's not a stranger. It's Kelley!" "Might as well be a stranger" she mutters harshly making me wince and Peter looks at her confused. But she quickly shrugs it off as she ignores me and kneels down in front of Peter as she fixes the blanket around him and puts her hand to his forehead, "I told you, you should be in bed". He sniffles again, "I know but I wanted cuddles and then I heard Kelley at the door".

She sighs and glance at me before picking the small boy up on her hip, "Let's get you back to bed little man". He looks at me before looking back at his sister, "Can Kelley read me a story?" She sighs as Peter lays the puppy dog eyes on thick but I quickly step in, "I-I don't mind". She barely looks at me out of the corner of her eye but sighs, "Fine". Peter cheers while I smile slightly as Belle quickly waves me into the house. Belle carries him up to his room as I follow behind them. She tucks him into the bed before she turns to me, "I'm going to go get his medicine". I barely have time to nod before she leaves. I sigh but shake it off before turning to Peter with a smile, "Okay what book are we reading?" He hands me a book from beside his bed and I start reading. As I'm reading I can see how he's not really listening, "Hey what's wrong?"

He plays with his fingers, "Is Bells okay?" I frown as he looks at me, "She's seems sad and she doesn't smile as much". He lets out a small whimper, "She was crying one day in her room. Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong?"

My heart broke as looked down at the boy how was worried about his sister. And what was worst was he somehow thought it was his fault for something I did. "No you didn't do anything Petey". His eyes drooped as he leans back into the bed, "Is she going to be okay?" I just hum and nod as I watch him start to nod off, "I hope so". Barely a minute or two later he was out like a light. I brush some hair out of his eyes before I bring the blanket up over him. Belle then walks in with the medicine but stopped when she saw Peter asleep. She leaves the medicine on the desk, "Come on let's just let him sleep".

I nod as we leave and head downstairs letting the kid sleep. She goes back down to the kitchen and I follow her not really knowing what to do. I just stand at the door awkwardly as she moves around the kitchen obviously trying to keep busy. She starts bring dirty dishes to the sink stacking them with small clinks filling the silence. I hated it to be honest. I had practiced endlessly what I was going to say to her but now my mind just went blank at the sight of her.

I mean what do you say to the girl who thinks completely destroyed your trust?

But it seems like while I was about to go into a mental downward she was the one to break the silence, "You need to stop talking to doors". Getting myself out of my thoughts I scrunch my face at her confused, "What?" She sighs and turns and leans against the counter with a hint of a smile, "People are going to start talking if they keep seeing you talking to a closed door". I let out a small breath as it feels like all the air was knocked out of my lungs. The entire time I thought she was listening she was, "You heard me?"

She scoffs, "Of course I heard you. You kept showing up outside my door and just started talking to a closed door. That's not something you can ignore". I knew I shouldn't but against my better judgement I can't stop myself before it comes out if my mouth, "Why didn't you open the door?" Any sense of a smile disappears as she narrows her eyes and crosses her arms at me, "Oh yeah cause I was definitely going to open the door to the girl who played with my heart. Why not give her another crack at fucking me over?"

"Belle" I sigh but she shakes her head, "It's hard enough trying to explain to Peter why your not around anymore? I just can't anymore Kelley". "Please just let me explain Belle" I beg with tears starting to well up in my eyes, "I know you think you know everything but you don't know the full picture. Just let me tell you everything and then if you still want me gone....I'll go".

She pursues her lips while I look at her pleadingly until she eventually relents, "Okay". I let out a huge sigh of relief and I try to step towards her but she immediately steps back making me falter again. But I push it aside and take a deep breath before I start explaining, "Look I won't deny it that it did start out as a bet". I can see her glare at me hard so I keep going, "But! That was before I got to know you. Before I even knew you were on the team or even before Peter. So yeah it started out as a bet but it became so much more. The more we hung out the happier you make me. I enjoyed being with you. The happiest part of my day would always be coming over and doing homework with you or even playing with Peter. I guess I ended up liking you more than I planned".

She scoffs but I can see the small hint of a smile making me smile before I sigh as I run my hand through my hair, "I don't know exactly when but I didn't care about the bet. All I cared was being around you. I knew you would never go for me so I thought I would be happy with just being your friend". I smile as I play with my fingers, "But then we got together and I couldn't have been happier. And for a brief while I forgot about the bet". I look straight into her eyes hoping to show her how genuine I am, "When everything settled I knew I had to tell you. I should have told you....but I got scared. I was scared that you would want nothing to do with me once you knew. I was scared to lose you..."

"Well how did that work out for you?" She bites back which makes me physically flinch. "I know I should have told you..." I start but Belle scoffs, "Yeah you should have". She lets out a frustrated sigh, "You know what's the wrong thing about all this?" I could see her crumble slightly as her shoulders slump the tiniest bit and slight tremble in her bottom lip.

"The worst part was I didn't even hear it from you"

I suck in a short breath and bite the inside of my cheek as she keeps going, "I knew I shouldn't have gone anywhere near you. Everyone knew who you were and I had been warned so many times. But I couldn't help it. That day when you brought Peter and me for ice cream and how you were more worried about us than yourself I knew there was a side of you that everyone else didn't see. I got to see the two sides of you. The you at school and the softer side of you with Peter and I. Now I don't know whether any of it was real or not..."

I immediately shake my head and step towards her taking her hands in mine, "Everything was a hundred percent real. I have never lied to you. There wasn't a minute that wasn't real between us. Every minute, every hour, every second it all was all a hundred percent true". I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles as I nudges my forehead against her own. She let out a breath which fanned against my face making me shiver slightly. I look into the bright blue eyes than I missed so much, "I lo-"

But she's quickly to cut me off shaking her head, "Don't. Please don't. I don't think I could take anymore, it's hurts too much". I slowly pick my head up spreading around her face. Peppering her face with feather light kisses on her cheeks, her jaw, her temples, her forehead before finishing on her nose which makes her smile lightly. "I love you Belle Rose. You are the only person who has ever made me feel this way. There is no one on this entire planet who could make me feel the way you do and that terrifies me. But I'm totally unapologetically in love with you".

Tears start to slowly slip down her cheeks as I gently wipe them away with the pad of my thumb. "I don't want to be hurt again" her voice cracks. "I promise I will do everything possible to make it up to you. Just please give me the chance to". She studies for me for a second before she barely inclines her head. I can't stop the smile on my face as I lean in closer to her, "Can I kiss you?" She lets out a soft laugh, "Wow eagar much Beasty".

All I can do is laugh before I lean up on my tip toes and kiss her with all I have before pulling away.

"Always for you Beauty"

[surveillance-0011]

Finally made my own musician tierlist! A handful of these are tentative or possibly placed a lil lower or higher than I should’ve placed em bc anything past the 2nd and maybe third tiers is kinda,,, nebulous in my mind ig. Further elaboration below the cut.

Tier 1: The babygiiiirrrrlllsss. Favorites, hopefully forever. Main target of fixation and projection and general appreciation!!! I don’t prefer one over the other.

Callie: Part of me feels bad for choosing Team Marie when it was like 50% bc I wanted to be on the team I knew would win (but also like 20-25% bc I agreed with her other splatfest sides and 25-30% bc I liked her a little more at the time), but I think it was the events of 2 that made me love her so much! Even if I wasn’t always on her side - though I was DEFINITELY on both Team Spongebob and Art- she’s won me over now, between the depth of her character and the pizazz she added to the Octarian Army... seriously, love the glitter! Have the plush, love bomb rush blush, love the hair and the outfits and can’t wait to see her again!

The First Child of Algin, The Hidden Blade of Yakiharaas: They’re just... I love everything about them. The fact that they look like a more realistic fish compared to the other two by a lil bit. The fact that their cello is designed after a salmon steak. The fact they are like fifty years old. The scraps of their personality we got from haikara walker, describing them as stubborn as hell and also sensitive enough to care abt specifics when it comes to atmosphere and presentation. The actual cello music provided by an extremely talented cellist whose songs I’ve discovered through this game. Think about this guy daily. I just hope that any additional info or in-game presence they might have in the future makes them even more likeable and not the other way around.

Tier 2: Beloveds!! The googoos!! Other favorites. Only ever so slightly below the previous two. Not necessarily in order of preference, I like the first like... 5 the same amount.

Marina: Agh my heart,,, I love her so damn much. She’s so sweet and endearing and awesome,,, Her shyness and occasional dorkiness is relatable and her backstory is super interesting. She also has the better idea for a lot of the Splatfests... ketchup, no pulp, villain,wizard, teleportation, ketchup, superstar...Also, the tupac outfit.

Marie: Love her 2... she’s so silly she’s my silly girl... ok but seriously I love her personality, design and, as mentioned before, a good chunk of her splatfest choices! I was on sandcastle, night owl, team blue... She can be very sarcastic, but she really does care for Callie (you and me both, sister...), and their bond is very sweet.

Pearl: I, for one, have always loved her design. All those attempts to “fix” it during her debut were uncalled for. Her antics are fun to watch. Spoiled rich “brats” are a favorite trope of mine, but she’s not just some brat; I adore how she cares for Marina, and how she reassures her in OE and the FinalFest dialogue. Speaking of FinalFest, I was on Team Chaos, and it’d be wrong for me not to love our Chaos Queen. Also, the Biggie Smalls outfit.

Loyal Servant of the True Salmon King, Hizunamasu: I think if I squeezed them hard enough their eyes would pop out like one of those bug-eyed pencil topper-keychain animals. They’re just so... shaped and silly and all. What info we do have about them though unfortunately points to them being an unbearable jackass. Hopefully they’ll be more funny than annoying if we ever hear them open their mouth! Either way, their musical skill will probably make up for their disrespect

Valiant Green Flame Born of Trout Hell Canyon: He’s grown on me for sure. He’s kind of basic, but like the DJ his design is very ugly-cute and I appreciate his passion.

Noiji: What a ray of sunshine! I care for him... Not much else to say except I think we could be friends!

Paruko: Omg a gamer girl... Very cute design, wish she wasn’t neglecting her clownfish tho.

Tier 3: Not quite favorite-favorites but certainly favored. I feel like I could be friends with like. All of them. Kinda-sorta in order of preference. Won’t say too much either.

Namida: Cute design, seems easy to get along with, love the synth as well.

Paul: He’s ten years old and he makes ytps I care deeply for him. I would kill for him I would die for him.

Yoko: I want to see her cheer up. Someone get this girl some orange juice (no pulp). Maybe a mimosa.

Raian: I want to go to an arcade with them... they seem rlly cool

Karen: Mom friend material! Also cool to see a nautilus.

Bibi: Pretty...

Tangle and Fin: Very silly guys! Love their frenemy bond. Fin seems a little disagreeable but I could vibe with them maybe... Could totally be Tangle’s bestie tho I love this fail seaweed man...

Ryan: Love her voice, and she seems reliable.

Ryu-Chan: Uncle material. Generally seems cool to hang out with.

Aachin and Kitamura: Just generally loveable. I like both their designs and personalities. I especially appreciate how the latter looks like Maggie Simpson.

Tier 4: Enjoyable fellas! I like them and think about them. Also kinda-sorta in order of preference. Will skip over some bc I cant rlly elaborate I just... yeah theyre cool

taichi: VERY shaped. Silly silly guy

Blow: I want to see his daughter...

Ikkan: No thoughts in there huh. Except for violence and bass playing...

C-Side eel(?): Ok I know the other members are in the last tier but. They’re just so cool lookin!!!

Ichiya: Seems like he could be a lil rude but I appreciate his talent. And design. I’d go on a walk with him.

Dedf1sh: I like her but she is like. Dead and all. and unmentioned. I think I need to see her in person! Love the music tho...

Taka: Also seems like an asshole! But a little less than LSTSKH.

Octavio: Could’ve been a lil higher. I like him he’s just been out of sight and therefore out of mind- I haven’t touched Hero mode in a while!

Warabi: Kaworu vibes. Interesting character, but I’m not entirely sure how I feel about him...

Tier 5: The Forgotten. Don’t get me wrong they’re cool I just... forget. It’s hard to keep track of them all. I think Muruta might leave this tier tho, I’ve thought about them more lately....

Tier 6: No real opinion yet! Either too obsure or too new. Like their designs a lot tho!