#un quatre trois deux cinq

[kiwi-tmntfan]

my name is poet

i am a philip

and i wrote this philip just to philip

[psychesetra]

borrowed a book from the library and it's like a learning french thing

when i got to the numbers i thought of like a fic idea????

bottom al thats either radioapple or x reader where reader and/or luci make him count how many orgasms he's had and at some point he's so unable to think he reverts to french 🥰

[snoligostranssexual]

MY NAME IS POET, I AM A PHILIP

I WROTE THIS PHILIP JUST TO PHILIP AND I JUST TURNED NINE YOU CAN WRITE PHILIP BUT YOU CANT WRITE PHILIP *WHAAT* I PRACTICE FRENCH AND PLAY PIANO WITH MY MOTHER *UHUHH!!!* I HAVE A MOTHER BUT I WANT A LITTLE MOTHER *OHOKAY!!!* MY DADDY'S TRYNA START AMERICAS BANK!!! UN QUATRE TROIS DEUX CINQ!!!!!!!! *BRAAVOOOOO* **take a break!**

[verysapphicindividual]

My name is Phillip

I am a poet

I wrote this poem

Just to show it

And im

Now dead

Because George fucking Eacker

CANT COUNT TO TEN

[wigglepiggle]

do you guys take french in school. did your french teacher show you alan le lait. I want to study this guy what goes on in his head to create dancing worms singing "je finis mes devoirs. tu finis ses devoirs" to an instrumental that actually slaps

and that's not even the only dancing worm video

[titan-god-helios]

MY NAME IS POET I AM A PHILLIP I POEMED THIS NAME JUST TO SHOW IT AND I JUST TURNED NINE YOU CAN ARRANGE WORDS BUT YOU CANT FIX MINE

i feel high. you're welcome for this masterpiece though <3

[diari0deglierrori]

Whenever Liberato says random french words in his songs I’m like

[xjnegen]

@cornflower-fields

Because i feel like i might be overestimating what the average is, i shall Conduct Research

This isn't about how many languages you speak, but how many youre able to count up to at least 10 in, since basic numbers are some of the first words you learn in a foreign language and sometimes you catch them without having studied the language at all

[leatherbookmark]

wow! i finally managed to play that tricky part in mystic fragrance well! but i got a miss at the very beginning of the song, so it wasn't a FC anyway :'D

[lovecla]

FAKE IT ‘TILL YOU MAKE IT ᡣ𐭩 nico hischier.

｡ᡣ𐭩ﾟpair: nico hischier x fmc (emma, kennedy walsh face claim)

｡ᡣ𐭩ﾟword count: 5k+

｡ᡣ𐭩ﾟsynopsis: for the sake of making his long time crush fall in love with him, nico does the only thing he had never thought he would: he starts fake-dating his best friend, emma roberts.

｡ᡣ𐭩ﾟwhat to expect: fake-dating trope, best-friends-to-lovers, angst, nico needs to make his crush notice him, emma will help him!, nsfw, social media interactions, happy ending.

— author’s note: for my girls who are always prioritizing other people. this is my way of calling you out.

nhl masterlist.

— theme song: that way by tate mcrae

main female character:

emma roberts

— “if you’re happy, then i’m happy too.”

— public speaking? please. no.

— has a degree in journalism.

— will do anything for her friends and family.

— new jersey girly through and through.

chapters (coming soon…)

1) un

2) deux

3) trois

4) quatre

5) cinq

[chic-a-gigot]

La Mode nationale, no. 42, 17 octobre 1896, Paris. Nos patrons découpés (Grandeur naturelle). Costume tailleur, corsage et jupe. Bibliothèque nationale de France

Détails et explication des patrons découpés:

(1.) Jupe. (Skirt.)

Ce patron se compose de quatre parties: (This pattern consists of four parts:)

No. 1. — Le devant, coupé double, droit fil au milieu, sans couture. (The front, cut double, straight grain in the middle, without seam.)

No. 2. — Le premier lé de côté, se rattachant au devant par un cran droit, fil du côté du devant. (The first side strip, attached to the front by a straight notch, grain on the side of the front.)

No. 3. — Le deuxième lé, que l'on coupe également double; deux crans indiquent le raccord au premier côté; la partie où sont placés les deux crans est droit fil; l'autre partie, se rattachant au lé du dos, est en biais. (The second strip, which is also cut double; two notches indicate the connection to the first side; the part where the two notches are placed is straight grain; the other part, attached to the back strip, is on the bias.)

No. 4. — Le lé du dos, se coupant double, droit fil au milieu, se rattache au deuxième lé de côté par trois crans. (The back strip, cut double, straight grain in the middle, is attached to the second side strip by three notches.)

Métrage: Pour la jupe, 4 mètres tissu grande largeur.

—

(2.) Corsage. (Bodice.)

No. 1. — Le devant, coupé ouvert et ajusté par une pince. (The front, cut open and fitted with a dart.)

No. 3. — Le premier côté, se rattachant au devant par un cran. (The first side, attached to the front by a notch.)

No. 4. — Le deuxième côté, formant patte dans le bas; deux crans indiquent le raccord au premier côté. (The second side, forming a tab at the bottom; two notches indicate the connection to the first side.)

No. 2. — Le dos, fermant au milieu. (The back, closing in the middle.)

No. 5. — Le col-revers; un cran indique le raccord au devant. (The lapel collar; one notch indicates the connection to the front.)

Ce corsage est donné sans la manche. Nous prions nos lectrices de se reporter aux manches déjà données. (This bodice is given without the sleeve. We ask our readers to refer to the sleeves already given.)

Métrage: Pour la veste, y compris la manche, 1m,50 tissu grande largeur.

Ce costume se fait en lainage épais: cachemire, drap, vigogne uni. Le corsage forme veste légèrement arrondie, s'ouvrant sur chemisette. Le patron du corsage se compose de cinq morceaux.

This costume is made of thick wool: cashmere, cloth, plain vicuna. The bodice forms a slightly rounded jacket, opening onto a shirt. The pattern for the bodice is made up of five pieces.

[crows-home]

A little fic about Vince the day before things went to hell. Warnings for mentions of cannibalism, murder, blood.

It will go like this:

[Un]

“What’s this?” Rody will ask, surprised as he looks down at the plate you present him with. You will keep him late, after all the chefs have left for the day. Just the both of you, so you can savor the reaction, all to yourself.

“It’s-” for you. It’s a gift. It’s that ex-girlfriend you can’t shut up about, but who will now nourish you in ways you could never return. It’s all your love, neatly presented. It’s my heart, bared before you. It’s yours. Take it.

“-leftovers.” you will say instead.

[Also on Ao3]

[Deux]

Rody will take the plate, equal parts confused and curious. Tilt his head to the side and hum, like some mutt. He’ll eat it here, in the restaurant, he won’t take it home like he’s been doing all week. You won’t give him the choice.

He’s so stupid- too uncultured to comment on the presentation, but that’s not what you will focus on. 

The fork will sink into the meat, into its pre-cut slices, nicely. You will note the way his lips wrap around the utensil, how his eyes will widen as the flavor seeps in. Pupils will dilate and his breath will catch, so clear and damning in the echoing kitchen. You’ll note the way his throat bobs around the swallow, and the way he will grin.

[Trois]

“Vince!” Rody will look at you. His eyes will shine, that warm honey golden brown that haunts your dreams. His gaze is admiring, reverent. “This is amazing!”

You won’t be able to stop the way your heart will thump in your chest, so loud you will wonder if he can hear it. You’ve never been able to so far. Maybe it will be more. Maybe it will beat so fast it’ll leave you feeling winded. How will you cope? You should prepare for that.

“I know.” you will respond, airily, after taking a deep breath.

He’ll dig in, clean his plate with a gusto, the way no one has ever done before. It will disgust you, the way he shoves food in his mouth. Uncultured pig. But beneath the disgust will be a bone deep satisfaction that you’ve never felt before, so you can’t imagine it now.

[Quatre]

While he eats, Rody will look up at you, every emotion clear as day on his face. Like it always is. He’ll be so clearly impressed and grateful and yes, happy. You will have made him happy.

And he would say:

“Whatever you did this time, it really worked. It’s so rich and the spices are blended so well! So moist and the baste is-”

Ah. No, not that. Rody’s not- he hasn’t got a sophisticated palate to have those opinions. He’d probably chew through half a boot without noticing anything wrong.

Maybe…

“They were so wrong about you,” he will look you in the eye. Trusting, honest, raw. Your mouth waters. “Those articles. The critics. You’ve always had it in you. This is just- it’s so good, Vince! I can taste the heart that went into this.”

Yes.

[Cinq]

He’ll ask if there are any more leftovers, desperate and hungry for more. You’ll say no, that’s all you had, just to delight in the disappointment that washes over him. Of course he will- it’s the best thing he’s ever had. He’ll be ruined, after this. He won’t be able to get the taste out of his mouth let alone settle for anything other than your cooking.

Now you know. Now you are able to- to touch people, like this. Touch him like this, in a way you will never experience. That’s a power that you’ll never give up.

So you will tell him no, sorry, that’s all that was left.

“What’s your favorite food, Rody?”

“Hm?”

I’ll make it for you next. There’s plenty of meat left.

“You never told me.”

“Still don’t have one…” He rubs his chin and looks up. Where will the two of you be then? Still in the kitchen? Or will you have this conversation outside, after the dishes are left and as you shut and lock the door behind you? Every thought about her will be so far from his mind as you both leave her- what’s left of her- in the freezer.

“Although,” he’ll smile at you, cheeks flushed and oh so happy. So alive. “I guess tonight my favorite is- whatever you make!”

--

“Shit!”

The knife slips out of Vincent’s hand and clinks against the tile floor.

He blinks back to himself, away from the daydream, and scowls. His breathing is labored and his face is flushed.

“Always distracting me, even when he’s not around…”

He bends down with a sigh and picks up the knife. He takes extra care to step around the puddles of blood to make it to the sink and rinse it off. Too much blood, so much more than he’s used to, is making things more slippery than he’s used to, but the general process is the same. Second nature for him.

It doesn’t disgust him- what he’s done. Who he’s done it to. Her eyes weren’t the familiar brown he ached for. Her hair was too light, too neat, not the wild, fiery ginger mess that’s been dashing around his dining room. Barely presentable for his job but- it’s soft. Vincent knows it’s soft. His hand remembers the way it felt underneath his skin when he dried Rody off.

Vincent shivers again, and realizes the tap water is still running.

Shutting it off, he makes his way back to the counter. There’s still much to prepare before the day begins.

—

The countdown doesn’t even begin; Rody just had to go snooping where he doesn’t belong. 

Now there’s blood, his blood, that fills your mouth. His cartilage, soft and squishy between your teeth. You swallow it down. A piece of him, inside you.

Rody staggers and screams, his expression growing more horrified, pained, disgusted by the second. His eyes go buggy and he brings his left hand up to his wound, he’s crying. No. No, no, no, no-

You think about his smile. His kind, soft, moronic, naive eyes were supposed to be fixed on you, were supposed to find you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way-

He’ll never love you now.

It’s- it’s his fault. All of this. Here you were, trying to do something nice, and he spits it back in your face. It’s not like you were ever going to tell him what [who] he was eating. He could have lived in blissful ignorance. Happy, content, with you-. He would have forgotten about her eventually.

He calls you insane, and he might be right, but he doesn’t have to be so dramatic about it.

Ugh- now he’s accusing you of being a fucking cannibal, Jesus Christ. Imbecile. Your eye almost twitches in annoyance. Of course he’d jump to that conclusion, it’s not like he uses his brain to think for more than two seconds. You ought to take the other ear, for that. Or a finger. A hand.

…An arm. A leg. Your eyes trace his body, slowly.

Did- did his ear taste like anything, going down? You can’t remember. It- maybe it did. Maybe what you need is something meatier.

The girl never would have tasted like anything to you and in hindsight, of course she wouldn’t have. Maybe not even to Rody either. You never loved her, and she never loved you. Rody, though… Rody would be made with all your love. That’s what people talk about, right? That’s what you needed all along.

He comes to the realization at the same time you do. Your eyes meet. Honey brown. Alive, alive, raw.

He’s what you needed all along.

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗥𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗘𝗦 charles leclerc x wife! reader (fluff) “. . . feeling the pressure from this season's finale, charles turns to you.”

( general master list | more of charles leclerc ) ( requests | taglist )

"I want to hear you play on the violin?" "You want to hear me play my violin?"

"Yes." "But I've been practicing on the piano. Don't you want to hear what artistry I have come fourth with." You giggled, a melody sent from the heavens during this frustrating time.

"Chérie, have mercy on my heart." [darling] To say that Charles was anxious was an understanding. The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. Where Charles can either lose the race, or become world champion. Very stressful, since the race was in an hour and his wife wasn't there to hug him and brush his curls like he liked.

"Mon Dieu, relax." [my god] You chuckled as you sat the phone on speaker, getting situated at you and Charles' ( mostly charles' ) grand piano. Charles muttered a small prayer as you laughed at him, staring at the keys.

And as you hit the first note, Charles closed his eyes gulping. "Un, deux, trois, quatre. Cinq, six, sept, huit." [one, two, three, four. five, six, seven, eight.] "Neuf, dis-moi, où es-tu ce soir?" [nine, tell me, where are you tonight?] Your voice rang through his head as he relaxed, sinking into his chair, adjusting his headphones.

"Quatre, trois, deux, un. Zéro, puis toi. Tu ne viens jamais plus me voir." [four, three, two one. zero, then you. you never come to see me again.] No wonder you chose this song, the music coming from the piano was minimal ( which was good cause you didn't want to mess up and make Charles fuss over the mistakes, ditch the race to fly over and correct you ).

"Un, duex, trios, sept. Vois-je par la tête? Mes draps sont nus quand t'es pas là." [one, two, three, seven. can I see through my head? my sheets are bare when you're not around.] But he was grateful none the less. He found your voice to be his cure. The world outside his headphones blurring and fading out as he basked to your remedy.

"Quinze, vingt, puis cent. Sans le dire tout haut. T'as quand même retiré tes bras." [without saying it out loud. you still took your arms away.] And when it came time to race, and he had ended the call with you so you can watch the race and he get ready. Your voice was still there, singing for his soul.

"Et moi, je bois. Je dors, je fane. Comme les tulipes du jardin." [and me, I drink I sleep, I fade. like the tulips in the garden.] Your voice was still there when he went to his designated spot the starting line, p2. With Verstappen on pole, he would be stressed or frustrated. But he was odly calm. He already knew the outcome of the race.

"Je veux t'avoir. Tout contre moi. Comme une jolie robe de satin." [i want to have you. all against me. like a pretty satin dress.] A blessing you were. Because for the first time, Charles had won the Driver's Champion chip. And he wouldn't thank anyone else but you for that.

A night full of celebration for Ferrari.

A night for Charles, you, and his unborn son to remember.

"You could be a singer." He teased, greeting you at the door with a smile and a warm hug. No celebration or alcohol anyone offers him can beat the happiness he feels when dancing with you out in the balcony.

[shadowcatzone]

-in mondstadt-

Venti: what does the sushi say to the bee?

Venti, deadpan: oh. Oh, no, you wouldn't even understand that one--

___

-in inazuma-

Venti: two scholars walk into a bar. One of them says, "i'll have h2o!" And the other says, "i'll have h2o too!"

Venti: oh no i'm doing it again

___

-in sumeru-

Venti: some cats swim to the shore. Why did the 1 2 3 cat not make it?

Venti: ...oh no.

___

Traveler: what are you doing?

Venti: i think i'm dissociating

_____

1.Wasabi 2.h2o2 3.(french numbers) because the un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq (1 2 3 cat(4) sank(5))

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

Never forget.

En ce jour le plus long, plus de 200'000 hommes se trouvaient face à face, sur les plages de Normandie.

Les forces alliées débarquaient sur les plages de Normandie, le 6 juin 1944

Au nom de code Neptune, a été le plus important de l’histoire en termes de navires engagés.

Alliés

Effectifs: 156'177 hommes 5 divisions d’infanterie et 3 divisions aéroportées sont débarqués le jour J, dont 10'470 seront tués, blessés ou disparus, selon les chiffres du Mémorial de Caen, dans l’ouest de la France. Par mer, environ 133'000 hommes: soit 58'000 Américains sur les plages Utah et Omaha, 54'000 Britanniques sur Gold et Sword et 21'000 Canadiens sur Juno 177 Français débarquent aussi sur Sword.

Par air, 23'000 hommes: 13'000 parachutistes américains sont largués sur l’ouest de la France, dans le Cotentin et 10'000 Britanniques entre l’Orne et la Dives.

Aviation: pendant la seule journée du 6 juin, 11'500 appareils dont 3500 planeurs de transport, 5000 chasseurs et 3000 bombardiers survolent les plages normandes et déversent 11'912 tonnes de bombes sur les défenses côtières allemandes. Les pertes seront faibles: 127 avions perdus et 63 endommagés.

Marine: l’opération Neptune engage 6939 navires et la force de débarquement proprement dite comprend 4126 navires et barges constitués en 47 convois. Une partie des transports les LCA, Landing craft assault accompliront la traversée à bord de bateaux plus puissants pour n’être mis à la mer qu’au large de l’une de leurs cinq plages de débarquement. Les autres types de péniches traverseront la Manche par leurs propres moyens, notamment: les LCI (Landing craft infantry), petits transports de troupes, les LCT (Landing craft tanks) qui transportent des chars et des véhicules, les LCVP (Landing craft vehicle personal), les LST (Landing ship tanks), ainsi que les fameux «ducks» (canards), engins amphibies propulsés par une hélice. 20'000 véhicules et un millier de chars ont ainsi été transportés. La flotte logistique compte 736 navires auxiliaires et 864 navires marchands pour le transport de vivres, munitions et les hôpitaux flottants. Parmi les navires marchands, 54 blockships seront coulés pour former des rades artificielles.

L’escadre de combat totalise 137 navires de guerre dont sept cuirassés, une vingtaine de croiseurs, 221 destroyers, frégates, corvettes, 495 vedettes, 58 chasseurs de sous-marins, 287 dragueurs de mines, quatre poseurs de mines, deux sous-marins.

Forces allemandes

Effectifs: ~ 148'000 hommes de la 7ème armée sont stationnés en Normandie et environ 50'000 dans la zone de débarquement. A proximité des plages, une seule division blindée, la 21ème, au sud-est de Caen, et six divisions d’infanterie. Deux autres divisions blindées, la 12e SS (Hitler-Jugend) et la division Panzer-Lehr, sont respectivement près d’Evreux et vers Alençon-Le Mans. Trois autres divisions 1ère SS, 2ème et 16ème se tiennent au nord de la Seine, aux environs de Mons, Péronne et Senlis.

Aviation: une bonne partie des appareils vient d’être envoyée sur le front est. Restent quelques dizaines de bombardiers et chasseurs.

Marine: 30 vedettes, quatre destroyers, neuf torpilleurs, 35 sous-marins.

[tiftelka]

What if Neil was an archer, not an exy player. His practice was going something like that. As well as mine yesterday.

Nock. Draw.

One, two, three, four, five.

Loose.

Nock. Draw.

Один, два, три, четыре, пять.

Loose.

Nock. Draw.

Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf.

Loose.

Nock. Draw.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco.

Loose.

Nock. Draw.

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq.

Loose.