#ume hatake

[yuudamari]

i forgot to post these

[inzuinzudesu]

Some simple Tobi/Sukea sketches, as I don't really have a lot of time lately. Color really changes the mood, huh? I can't quite choose which one I like more tbh 🙉 Translations! Red one: "Let us save the world. I will follow you till the end, Tobi." "Hmph, is that so." White one: *happy humming noises* "I~yan! You're so naughty, Sukea~!" Sfx: *lots of squeezes* Note: They refer to eachother as "Tobi-san" and "Sukea-san" in my mind, cuz I thought that'd be in character for them?? As for "saving the world", you can interpret that in whichever way you want 💀 And I'm gonna yap now! I can't hecking write organic conversations yo, like I'm cringing help 😭😭 What even is thissss And that's why I really appreciate all the talented writers out there over at ao3 okay, y'all doing good stuff! I'm struggling to find Tobi/Sukea fics though, I actually think I've read most of them, at least on ao3?? I went to pixiv, but usually it's just a lot of jounin-ifs over there (not saying that's a bad thing haha). I really love identity porn?? Like you're falling in love with a person and then you find out that he's your childhood rival that you hold (very) bitter feelings for??? And you have to fake that you don't know who he truly is, while dealing with your own complicated feelings????? Then plot happens and he has to go back to the village, but you don't want to let him go, but you do??????? Yes, I am describing The New Recruit series by butter_peanut. I adore that fic, I actually cried during some parts darn it 😭😭 Like how do people make such amazing works 😭😭😭😭 I just love to read fics in general, really gets my brain going.

[ratsunie]

the trio

[every-kakashi]

[audaciousanonj]

Please consider: Kakashi explaining, very confidently, that Obito shouldn't kiss Rin because if a boy kisses a girl the girl will get pregnant and that's how babies are made. Obito is stupid for not knowing this, Kakashi learned it when he was five!!! Minato-sensei told him!! Don't the Uchiha make sure their clan members know how not to make babies, to prevent accidental sharingan bastards??

(They do. Obito is, in fact, staring at him incredulously because he's trying to comprehend that he knows more than kakashi about something this important.)

[just-puddding]

Sorry tumblr

(also happy late birthday, Obito)

[skyahri]

Shock |Kakashi Hatake X Reader|

Summary: An uninvited guest on Kakashi’s doorstep might be a little trouble, but it's worth it in the end.

Warnings: canon compliant violence, mentions of blood and death, reader is in shock, medical equipment.

Word Count: 5.2k

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

"I'm sorry, I um- I don't know why I'm here."

Out of curiosity, Kakashi cracks his front door open just a bit wider so he can get a better look at you. You're in your anbu attire, blood coating your clothes and splattered on your face. Your hands are shaking and you're shifting on your feet. You look manic- pupils blown and an unreadable expression on your face.

"It's kinda funny that I am, though, right? Knocking on your door in the middle of the night, covered in blood like a lunatic."

He peeks out into the hall, but there's no one else. No secondary footprints or chakra residuals. It's just you, like you said, covered in blood like a lunatic.

"You don't even like me and yet I still came here. I could've gone, well, anywhere else. I probably should've gone home... or the Hokage's office."

In your senseless muttering, you had gotten it right- you should've gone somewhere- anywhere- else. Why come here? While he's never been unnecessarily mean, he'd also never been kind to you, and yet here you are, waking him up at three in the morning, talking his ear off in some sort of haze.

"He'll probably want an update on my mission. He has to send a recovery team for the others, too. I think I need a medic before that, though. I hope he doesn't mind waiting."

He furrows his eyebrows at your rambling. You've always been a talker, but never like this. Never this unorganized and rushed, like your only goal was to fill the silence the night brought-

Wait.

"Recovery team?"

"It's kinda cold out don't you think? Usually, we have a few more weeks until it snows, but I think it's coming sooner this year. I've been trying to knit a blanket between missions, but I don't think I'll finish it before-"

You don't answer. You don't even acknowledge that he's said anything at all. You just keep talking. He's not sure what possessed him to do so (maybe it's his trauma responding to your off handed comment about a recovery team), but against better judgement, Kakashi sets his hand on your back and guides you inside his apartment. He locks the door before sitting you at his dining room table and searching around his cupboards for a cloth. He wets it, rings it out, and turns towards you.

"I found some really pretty yarn in Suna last year. Forest green and dandelion yellow and the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen. The woman who makes it gave me a pattern for an Afghan, said it's perfect for winter."

He wipes the cloth across your face, folding it over a few times to get as much blood as possible (why was there so much?) before returning to the sink to rinse it out and start again. He notices how you continue to stare straight ahead, completely unbothered by anything he's doing. Your words never falter, not even when he takes a firm hold of your face to make his task easier.

"I have four chakra natures... never really picked up lightning if I'm being honest. Did you know that? Nevermind, you're Kakashi, of course, you know that."

He tosses the rag into the sink and slowly moves to undo your weapon holster. It's light, and a quick peak in the pocket confirms that there's nothing left in there. He sets it aside, not really caring about the red puddle it's creating on the floor. He removes your gloves and kneels to untie your shoes.

"I copied that mudslide you use, by the way. It's crazy... changes the entire course of a battle in a split second. I'd say I hope you won't mind, but I know you will. You always mind when it comes to me."

He had you stand up and ushered you towards his bathroom. He turned on the faucet and tested the water to make sure it was warm. He grabbed the hem of your shirt and tapped your side, hoping that somewhere in your spaced out mind you'd get the hint and undress yourself. Lucky for him, you did, but not without falter.

"Your apartment's nice by the way. Very clean and organized and looks like someone actually lives here. All I have is a bed and a dresser. I don't have much time to appreciate anything else."

The motion was less than graceful. You used one hand to slip the tight fabric over your head and down your left arm, which stayed at your side despite the obstacle it caused. You expertly unclipped your bra and let it fall forward off your shoulders and to the ground, and had your pants and underwear there a second after. He doesn't stare, partially because he's already seen you naked before in the locker room from time to time, and partially because even in his perverted mind, he knows it's not the time.

"When I retire one day like you, I want my apartment to be just as homey. I'll be able to enjoy it since I'll be home longer than a day at a time."

He isn't too sure what to make of the current situation. He's pushing you under the showerhead, absently listening to you drone on, but all he can think about is how off-putting the whole thing is. You'd been in ops for a long time- long enough to not warrant a reaction like this after just any mission. Despite any sort of way he may have felt about you in the past, you've never been one to be affected by the carnage, a quality he's always appreciative of in his teammates. So what the Hell happened?

"My fifteenth anbu anniversary is coming up in December. Owl said he'd throw me a party, but I guess that's not happening anymore."

Your eyes fall from the wall in front of you to the drain on the ground. The water is muddy- the blood, sweat, and tears acquired from a month-long mission being washed away like nothing.

"I don't think I even like parties. I've never had one, which is why he offered in the first place. He wanted to celebrate my birthday, but I wouldn't tell him when it was. Drove him crazy."

Why is he even doing this? He must be losing it, honestly. Standing behind you, washing your hair as his clothes get completely soaked. This isn't something he's ever done, and even now, it's something he could never imagine doing for anyone else. You used to annoy the shit out of him, following him around in your youth and trying to be overly friendly when he clearly wasn't interested. If sixteen-year-old him had seen him in this moment, he'd surely have a fit.

"It's June 2nd, by the way. I don't think I've ever told anyone that. I don't even know why I told you. It's fine. You probably won't remember and even if you do, you aren't much of a gossip."

When the bulk of the debris is cleared away, he finally gets a good look at what's causing you to favor one arm. A gash curves around your shoulder blade and wraps around your torso, going all the way down to your pubic bone. It's deep and jagged, most likely from a dull kunai.

"I bet I'll get a few days off after this. Gai has been pestering me for a while now to try that new cold soba place. I think I'll go. He'll probably ask you to go, which would be nice, especially if Kurenai and Asuma come."

He hands you a soapy washcloth and watches as you diligently clean your hands. It's interesting, the way you scrub under your fingernails and between your fingers. It's probably muscle memory from years of trying to get the image of blood off your hands. He thinks, for only a moment, that maybe you aren't so different from him, you just put up a different front.

"I can't wait to have a nice meal. I'm so fucking sick of the MREs. It's a dumb thing to care about, but I think it's the smaller stuff that matters in this line of work."

He dries your hair before handing you the towel, leaving you to finish it off so he can grab you some clothes, changing his own while he's in there. Just sweats and a tee, and a pair of briefs if you'll take them. He hands you the bottoms first, withholding the top until he can get a better look at the wound.

"We were gone an extra week. My neighbor's gonna lecture me for sure this time. She always worries that I won't come back."

He thought for a moment, debating on whether or not he should outsource your injury. Honestly, even with immediate medical ninjutsu, this severe of an injury, not to mention how old it seems to be, is sure to leave a pretty nasty scar. Jostling you around to get across the village to the hospital may do more harm than good at this point in time.

"She's got three kids. All super loud, but they're really sweet. They think I'm the coolest person in the world, always saying they wanna be like me when they grow up. God, I hope they realize they should want more."

He grabs the first aid kit from the closet in the restroom and pulls up a chair next to his bed. He pushes you face down onto the mattress, your words becoming slightly muffled by his pillow. He's only ever stitched himself, and even then it was just a few here and there, not a hundred.

Your skin is soft compared to his rough hands. You seem like the kind of person to take care of yourself whenever possible, so he supposes it's not too surprising. He almost feels bad, being an accomplice to the desecration of your otherwise flawless body, but there's nothing to be done. All he can do is try and be as precise and delicate as possible and hope the wound heals nicely.

"Kumo is really nice this time of year. They don't have a lot of greenery but their flowers bloom around this time, just before the first snow falls- AH!"

It was like someone woke you up with a bucket of ice water to the face. You flinch hard when he sticks the needle through your skin. The area is tender, obviously, and the not-so-gentle tug of your flesh is enough to knock you out of your shock.

"Ah, there she is."

In the onslaught of your panic, you don't register, well, anything. You start to get up and the fact that you're half naked on his bed goes over your head. Before you can even prop yourself up onto your elbows, he's pushing your body down, large hands taking up the majority of your uninjured back.

"Relax. You're gonna fuck up the clotting if you keep squirming like that."

You lower yourself, but can't seem to loosen up at all. The blood loss and adrenaline crash are making your head spin. You feel sick and disoriented, and can't seem to to get a grip.

"Seriously, relax. Can't do what I need to if you keep freaking out."

You try to focus on his hands. They're rough from years of training, calloused, and strong as any other man would be, but the way he rubs his thumb back and forth over your spine is soft and doting. Years of unfamiliarity and pushback have left you hardly knowing him at all, but even you can tell this is his way of saying he's calm, and you should be too. Kakashi is a reasonable man, and it's safe to lower your guard around him.

When your breathing evens, he continues with the sutures as if it were nothing, emitting the same energy someone would put towards sudoku. Without the cushion of shock and adrenaline, you can feel how serious the wound really is. You push the unsettling feeling of the cool air against your exposed muscle to the back of your brain, preferring to instead lean into the warmth of his comforter. It has a more natural, woodsy, type of scent, similar to the shampoo he'd washed your hair with.

Kakashi is completely immersed in his work. He still has a ways to go, but he's rather pleased with his progress. Even spacing and perfectly taught, Rin would surely be proud.

"You're different."

He's caught off guard when you speak. If he's being honest, he assumed you'd somehow managed to fall asleep.

"Retirement has mellowed me out."

You don't respond and he doesn't bother to continue the conversation. The silence is comfortable. You hadn't talked to him in over a year, and even before that you were never on friendly terms, but the warmth in the air would lead an outsider to believe you were close.

It isn't long before he's offering you a hand and guiding you into a sitting position. He tugs a black shirt over your head and you pull your arms through, wincing at the stretch of your stitches. Your eyes go to the smear of red on your stomach, and subsequently the bedding. You absentmindedly thumb over the stain on his dark blue duvet cover.

"Don't worry about it. Just lie back down so I can finish the front."

You're too tired to argue with him, so you comply. He's leaning over you now that the injured side isn't directly facing him. His arms are warm against your skin and you have a better view of his face. Of course, he's still wearing that stupid mask, but you can easily make out the contours of his nose and lips. He's entirely focused, eyebrows pulled together and eyes fixed in front of him.

You hiss when he gets to the indent of your hip, knicking the bone. Your hand reaches to stop his, carelessly ignoring the fact that there's a needle sticking out of your skin. He looks up at you- your eyes are squeezed shut and your breathing is heavy.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"'s fine. Just need a second."

He sets the needle driver down and splays his now free hand against your midriff. He's concerned for your comfort, a quality he wasn't aware he had, but that he apparently holds for you. He isn't even sure what he's doing with all of these subtle touches and acts of affection. Yesterday, you were just an annoying girl from his past, not too unlike Gai, and now he's finding himself losing his aloofness in favor of a more intimate moment.

Your hand eventually slides down his, gripping the juncture between his thumb and forefinger, a subtle sign that you're ready, before you fold your arms above your head.

He squeezes your side and resumes his previous position. He's more careful this time, not that he wasn't before. He's done within ten minutes, finishing it off with some dressings and tugging down your his shirt. He tugs the blanket out from under you and goes to grab the spare. It's a quick swap, the dirty one getting tossed in the general vicinity of his washer and the clean one is lazily thrown over you.

He starts to say something, but shuts his mouth when he notices you sleeping. You finally look peaceful. Your lips are chapped, your hair's a mess, and you're paler than usual, but peaceful nonetheless.

He sways his head side to side to side as he contemplates his next move. He could certainly just wait it out and situate himself on the couch with a book until you woke up. Or, he could do what Kurenai would call 'the chivalrous thing to do' and continue to care for you.

With a sigh, he summons Pakkun, who appears in a puff of smoke.

"You think you can keep an eye on her while I take care of some business?"

"You got it boss."

- - - - -

Your eyes felt heavy. It took more willpower than you'd care to admit to force them open, and even more to lift your hands to rub the sleep away. The soreness that spread across your shoulder and hip quickly reminded you where you were and what had happened.

You sat up and swung your feet over the side of Kakashi’s bed, planting them on the floor and setting your face in your hands. You hear footsteps, but don't bother to look up. Your head is swimming, your stomach is in knots, and your body is fighting to not collapse.

"Dinner is almost ready if you're up to it."

"I have to give my report before I can even think of anything else-"

"No need. It's already been handled."

You lift your head to give him a confused look, and that's when you see it. He's a bit uneasy, shuffling awkwardly until he's leaning against the door frame. He won't meet your gaze and you can see his Adam's apple bob up and down.

"Handled?"

"I informed Lord Third of your return. He said not to bother with your full report until tomorrow morning at the earliest."

You turned your gaze back to the floor and sighed in relief, but the feeling didn't last as you began a rather fast paced descent into madness. You mulled over all the events of the day and couldn't help but think of all the things you should've done differently. You should've taken first watch. You should've forced an opening to send someone, or even a summoning, to get back up. You should've said no when the others wanted to camp for the night and insisted on moving forward.

But you didn't, and now the people you spent nearly every day of the past three years with paid the price, slaughtered in the blink of an eye.

While you had never been one to grow unnecessarily fond of your teammates in the past, you couldn't deny the personal affection you'd acquired for your team over the years. It was stupid to get so attached to people who signed up for a job that damn near guarantees death, but you couldn't help it. Not when Sato was convinced that the person responsible for his meal rations had it out for him by giving him all the worst options. Not when Kaito was complaining about another failed date that he definitely ruined by being, well, himself. Not when Yue always made the time to nicely braid your hair after an impromptu bath in the lake.

Especially not when they all went out of their way to ensure you that you were valued and loved.

Kakashi can't see your face, but he doesn't need to. The slight tremble of your frame and the shakiness of your breath tell him all he needs to know. Despite how uncharacteristically nice and patient he's been today, he's still not used to actually caring for people outside of just making sure they don't die. So he does the only thing he can think of and sets his heavy, uncoordinated dog paw of a hand on your head and ruffles your hair, much like he'd do for his ninken.

"Relax."

You can't help but snicker at the action. It's awkward, so much so that you can feel it radiating through his skin. Unlike him, though, you are very well versed in this area. You rub your hands down your face, drying any tears that may have fallen, and pull him closer, wrapping your arms around his waist and laying your head on his firm stomach. He tenses but doesn't make any effort to move. Eventually, you feel his rigid hold on your head loosen, his fingers grazing across your scalp and then running through your hair.

"You suck at comforting people, you know?"

"It worked in the end, didn't it?"

You can't argue with him, not after he had so easily shut down your rapid spiral. Instead, you choose to focus on the moment and can't help but notice how intimate it feels. You're no stranger to physical affection, oftentimes using it to get out of difficult or uncomfortable questions, but never before has it felt like this. It could be that you're wearing his clothes and smell like his soap, or maybe it's the way one of his hands is cupped around the back of your head and pressing you further into his abdomen, but this feeling is definitely different from anything you've experienced up until this point.

Unbeknownst to you, Kakashi is having similar thoughts. His mind is going a thousand miles a minute, trying to push away his avoidant instincts. This past year has given him the opportunity to rewire his brain to be less... guarded, and he's hardly done anything with the newfound sense of freedom. Sure, he's managed to salvage his friendships, but even that much was due to other people's persistence, and not his own doing.

Maybe, just maybe, there's something specific about you. This entire experience has been ridiculously natural. You look like you belong in his apartment, in his clothes. Talking to you doesn't feel forced and there's not that weight he usually associates with social interaction. It's almost like you belong-

"Kakashi?"

Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He shifts his gaze down to see you peering up at him. He gives a slight hum to acknowledge you.

"Weren't you cooking?"

Cursing himself under his breath, he pulls back, his hands sliding out of your hair and along the underside of your jaw. He quickly makes his way back into the kitchen, shutting off the stove and removing the pan from the burner. You follow after him and sit at his table. It's funny, really, the way he haphazardly moves around the kitchen like he's never touched a pan before. You shouldn't laugh at him, not after he's been so good to you, and especially because you probably wouldn't fare much better.

He set a plate in front of you and your face instantly lights up. You clap your hands together and thank him profusely for the food. It's quiet for a while. You're enjoying your first real meal in weeks and he's giving you the space to do so.

It's hard to ignore the looks he keeps sending your way. You avoid looking directly at him to preserve the bits of his face that his cupped hand doesn't cover, but you can still feel the holes burning into your skull. You know what he wants, and to be honest, you're surprised. It seems Kurenai was right with that off-handed comment a few months ago- Kakashi had become rather nosey in recent times. Or, maybe, he's always been keen to information, but due to his particular place in the ranks, he's never had to ask for it before.

Growing more uncomfortable under his gaze and sensing he won't be the one to break the ice, you take the initiative.

"Why'd you let me in?"

"I'm trying to be more receptive to people's efforts at friendship."

You nod. You were once on the receiving end of his less-than-amicable approach, and you were glad he was actually allowing people in after everything that happened in his youth.

"Why come here?"

You sigh, nervously running your hands up and down your thighs. Honestly, you hadn't been very present-minded when you knocked on his door last night. The journey back to the village was hard to recall. Even the few hours you spent awake with Kakashi earlier were blurry.

Every other time you've needed someone in the past, you've turned to Kurenai. It was easy to unwind around her. You didn't have to think about anything, just letting her force feed you snacks from a variety of vendors and drag you around to different shops.

That's not always enough, though, and even if you pretend it is, there's always a part of you that seeks out something more. Apparently, last night you had sought out that something.

"Sometimes... it's nice to be around people who understand,"

Kakashi nods. He's been on the receiving end of said behavior, and he knows exactly how exhausting it can be.

"Don't get me wrong, Kurenai and Gai are great, but... they ask so many questions. There's a big difference between regular Shinobi work and ANBU, especially with what I do, and it's just, I don't know. I just don't usually want to talk about the details."

"I get it."

Even though Kakashi is obviously curious, he doesn't pry. He really does get it. Constantly being asked if you're okay, if you wanna talk about it, being offered a shoulder to cry on- it's kind, but it gets old after a while. Especially when you're just trying to spend the limited free time you have as a person and not just an off duty shinobi.

"Can I ask you personal questions? Or are you gonna get all angsty on me?"

"Angsty? I'm not angsty,"

One pointed look from you is all it takes for him to cave.

"Yeah, yeah, just ask your damn questions."

"How's retirement?"

It's kind of complicated. He should be training genin right now, but he sank that ship before it even left the dock. Poor kids didn't even make it a day before they were right back in the academy. Or wait, could you mean personally? That's probably at least a little complicated, too. There's been a lot of change for him this past year, but that doesn't really mean much compared to others when you're practically crawling at the ripe age of twenty-four.

"I'm only asking how you've been doing, Kakashi, there's no need to fret."

He must've taken too long to answer. That's why you're filling in the blanks for him. He should feel embarrassed, but he doesn't. Your teasing tone is enough to subdue any negative connotations your interruption may have offered. Honestly, he's more so just confused as to how you knew exactly what he was thinking.

"... I have a lot of free time."

Man, you really do have to walk him through everything, huh?

"Is that a good thing?"

He shrugs and mulls over it for a moment.

"I'm used to being busy. It's just difficult to get used to. I imagine you'll have an even harder time adjusting once you retire."

"Why's that?"

"You've spent nearly your entire life in ANBU. The cool down from that is gonna be hard after it's been ingrained so deeply."

He's right about that. You'd joined at just seven years old, hadn't even been a genin a year.

"Do personal questions go both ways?"

"I don't see why not."

"Why'd they recruit you so early?"

Damn, he really went right for it. You swallowed hard. Your fingers drummed lightly on the pair of pants he'd lent you.

"It was the only way Lord Third could keep me out of root."

Oh God. Root. Kakashi knew all about Danzo and his followers, courtesy of Tenzo, of course. That place was disgusting and cruel. It was a wonder why it hadn't been shut down already.

"I'm not very smart, so I didn't stick out in the academy, but once I got onto the field and found my calling... let's just say Danzo had taken an interest in me."

Oh, Kakashi knows exactly what you're talking about. It's true. You couldn't do a henge or substitution jutsu to save you're life, but you made up for it tenfold. It's only fitting that the person dubbed 'Calamity' in bingo books be a force of nature, right? You had an abundance of chakra and raw strength that only Tsunade could parallel. All the jutsu you knew were hard hitters- mudslides, tornadoes, tsunamis- anything massive that didn't require a lot of concentration, you could pull off.

"It's fine, though. My fighting style isn't exactly useful on standard missions. Too much collateral damage."

You manage a laugh. It's a little awkward, but genuine nonetheless. Most people get a bit stiff when talking about your unorthodox recruitment, but you don't hold the same sentiment. You'd lucked out with an amazing team right off the bat. They were all men in their late teens and early twenties, eager to take you in as their little sister and raise you into a fine shinobi.

"Why’d you get recruited?"

"Me? Minato-sensei had some personal tasks for me."

"Oh yeah? Is that your mysterious way of saying you were solely recruited for baby duty?"

Now that had taken him aback.

"How did you-"

You, apparently, knew the couple very well. How that fact got past Kakashi all this time is beyond him. You told him about the first time you met Kushina- how she cried because the chest plate on your uniform was too big for little seven-year-old you. You told him about how Minato tried desperately to free you from ANBU during his reign, but couldn't find any loopholes that'd keep you away from Danzo. How they'd sometimes run into you on the street and offer to take you to dinner.

Kakashi shared his own stories of his sensei and his wife, which, in extension, got him to talk about Rin and Obito. Before either of you knew it, it'd been several hours. The last rays of sunshine had disappeared in the midst of your discussion some time ago. The pain of your injuries had dulled and were pushed to the back of your mind, buried in the new found connection.

He hadn't felt that stress-free in decades. There was no pressure when he was talking to you, even when it came to the people he lost. You were just... talking. No prying, no judging, no eggshells- just talking.

It was easy to admit that Kakashi was different from the others. The conversation had revived memories you hadn't even realized existed. This is what was lacking in all of your other encounters- depth. Screw mission details and gossip. These were the kinds of things you wanted to spend your time mulling over.

"Kakashi?"

"Hm?

You smiled at him and he swears his heart might be failing him. It's so soft and genuine, the kind of smile that soul mates share with one another.

"Thank you... for everything."

He doesn't respond. Actually, no more words are spoken between you two as you ready yourself to leave his apartment. There's a peaceful silence as you gather your belongings and head to the door.

When you're finally standing on his welcome mat, you decide that it's now or never with him. Maybe you're being a bit bold, but the Copy Nin is exclusively difficult to connect with and you aren't about to take any chances.

"When Gai inevitably invited you out to dinner-"

"I'll go."

That was surprisingly easy.

Another one of those beautiful smiles lights up your face at his response. He knows that whatever is going to come of this is sure to be troublesome, but he can't find it in himself to care.

"Good."

And just like that you're walking away.

[evilminji]

Oh god :Dc a Danny Summons Contract

No you guys DON'T UNDERSTAND-!

Just. Danny! Only Danny! He fucked up. Some ancient Warring States Ninja fucked up. They BOTH agreed to NEVER talk about it again.

Cause like? That ninja? Was a GROWN ASS MAN. A qualified BAMF of the highest order. He WAS the Danger, thank you very much. So, he? Will NEVER live down being saved by...well...

*holds up wildly struggling, noodle limbed, sad wet raccoon havin a terrible day lookin, meat thresher on legs*

THIS.

It's a BABY. Honestly, his Clan's TODDLERS know how to throw better punch. This scrawny infant baby child is both? His new son. AND an embarrassing trainwreck in motion. FFS kid, that's not how you- No! NO! Don't you DARE bite that opponent! You don't know where they've B-!

Kid they could have BEEN POISONED!!! Spit um OUT! DROP UM! Drop that RIGHT NOW! What are you? A dead Inuzuka? A god forsaken Hatake!? DROP IT!!!

It...sure is An Adventure™.

One of many early "here's how you DON'T make a Summoning contract" experiments, that Clans without seal masters were attempting. He's honestly lucky HIS attempt ended with him still... you know... ALIVE. Problem, though? After bunking for like... a few months? A year? In the command center?

And you know, terrorizing the GIW into complete collapse. Parenting him through some pretty serious life changes. Somehow making Sam MORE terrifying. And a whole host of off screen ninja shenanigans? They figure out? Oh. Only way to send him HOME is to either accept or refuse a Contract.

They gotta make one.

First they head to Frostbite for a recommendation, then? Off to a reputable Ghost Lawyer they go! They have to camp in the waiting room for like... a week. But? Worth it! The contract is AMAZING. And terrifying! Protects them both. Can't be used against EITHER. And that loophole you're thinking off? Ten pages worth of point 4 script, twenty three yards down, for why it's a BAD IDEA and breaks contract~!

Neither of them can make the other do SHIT! Only fully consensual, mutually beneficial, ass kicking here! If we FEEL LIKE IT!

Ninja dad insisted. Never sign a contract with anything less then extreme paranoia, kid! Leave no "implied" or "spirit of the rules"! Loopholes are holes in your armor, with which your enemy stabs you in the back!

Danny, tearfully, sends ninja dad home.

Gross. Emotions all over his armor. If only there wasn't all this sand in his eyes, he'd definitely complain about it. *stoic ninja hug*

Danny? Become a king. One of many. An Ancient. Becomes FUCKING HUUUUUUUUGE. Like? "Aw, your city is so pwecious~☆ n smol~♡! Whats it called again? New York?" Huge. A fuckin LEVIATHAN made of void, stars, and space ice. A Winter corpse, marked by lightning, that became the night sky itself. With a crown of aurora borealis, ever shifting, like flame.

Proportional, in a way, to Summon Bosses. Just as a normal human is to a normal toad, a normal cat, a normal slug. So too, is Danny LARGER then them.

You know... when he feels like it.

The contract? Passes down. Ninja dad does warn his kin. Prooooobably not gonna answer you. He only answers ME cause I'm, well, ME.

Fuckin BET. They declare. And lose. Repeatedly.

Time marches on. The Senju and Uchiha has their Drama. Dear KAMI do they Have Their Drama. Please Stop, says everyone. They... do not. The contract? Fuckin STOLEN. Because of course it is.

It's a HUGE, glowing, death radiating Summons Contract kept in a shrine behind like... SO MANY seals. It makes anyone less then a full grown JOUNIN physically SICK to even touch! Prolonged exposure kills people! Of COURSE it gets fuckin stolen. It's obviously a super, mega, ultra rare AMAZEBALLS Summon Contract... right?

Eeeeeeeeeeeh *so-so hand motion* KINDA!

It IS technically that.

They ain't wrong. Cause Danny IS an Adult now. A King. Connected to the Zone. An ANCIENT. Beyond and Above his mortal origins, even as, by being a Halfa, he is utterly the same. That contract is as close as one could GET to having a contract with the Sage himself.

You know... if he answered you.

Felt like your petty bullshit was worth getting up off the couch for.

Not to MENTION? He can make clones! Like.... billions of them now. Has a skeleton army. Is kinda one of the stronger Ancients. But that's not the point. The POINT? Clones. Don't have to be EQUAL facets of self.

You CAN make a .00001% clone of yourself!

Behold *summons poof noise* Lil Baby Man!

The harbinger of Danny! Here to Test Your VIBEZ™. He sends them each time. To be an adorable menace. Cause problems on purpose. Be gremlins, chew on table legs, maybe. You know, the works! They RADIATE his " I Am Death." Energy. But also his "winter, protection, and starlight" vibes... if you're brave enough to LOOK.

If you don't flinch away from a spirit of the dead. Can embrace the chaotic nature of a Zone ghost. Are kind to something that isn't what you expected, that you can USE, that appears weaker then you. Something that seems dumb. Distractable. Useless in battle.

Can you be kind? Do you immediately give up? To recognize a test when you see one? Is your first impulse cruelty? Distain? It tells Danny a lot. Saves him time.

Which? Is how a young Itachi, freshly Jounin'd, gets thrown through an old and rotting wooden gate into what LOOKS like a vaguely demonic death shrine. Hmmm, concerning. Baby 'tachi has been separated from his teammates. Is having a Bad Time™. The crows can't really help much here.

And, well, that IS a Summoning contract...

He's outnumbered. Low on both weapons and Chakra. Refuses to do anything BUT return home to his family. His baby brother. Is it WISE? No. It is in fact, incredibly, incredibly UNWISE. He has no idea what he'll be agreeing too. But... so long as he live just a bit longer...

He slams an earth wall against the entrance.

Falls back to the Glowing Contract.

Stumbles, as even landing near it makes his insides revolt. His skin prickle and burn. Colder then the nine tails Chakra, emptier, yet somehow endlessly more ABSOLUTE.

It's like the very Chakra in his body screams against it. Rejects it's mere presence. As though all thing alive REFUSE it with desperation and fear. He has no time to muse upon this. It hurt his hand to touch. He does so anyway. Struggling to hold the earthwall against enemy attacks.

He doesn't bother to read the contract. Flings it from the pedestal, to unravel, so he may sign quickly. There. With a practiced motion, he nicks his finger, and scrawls his future away. Whatever demons may come. Whatever monsters this brings. Please... let him live long enough to say goodbye.

The world CRACKS as he summons.

Death and the Shinigami are not the same.

Even those without the ability to sense are battered by the tsunami of... not killing intent. No. There is no intent. No killing. Just... knowing. Heraldry. That Death comes for us all. You can not escape. Foolish and small, is this what you waste your existence on? Ants before a god. Dust before the heavens. He... he can not... breathe...

Frozen. Eyes wide. Sharigan spinning, spinning, spinning. Capturing the delicate lace of nothingness, absence of life, as it drifts by. Unable to move from where he kneels, bloody hand pressed to the ground, in a Summoning.

What Has He Done?

Outside there is panic. Screaming. They flee. He... he wishes he could flee. W...why can't he-? *THHHWAP!* Mmmmph?! Something small and almost bird shaped smacks into his face like a flung ration. Tiny arms spread wide to cling to his bangs and dangle. The deathy power fades... almost... almost as though it were... a threat display?

He focuses on the tiny creature whining and hugging his face. It... is a floating snake toddler? Or is it dragon? They have sharp little claws and stars along their face, a tiny whispy mane of white. Likely a dragon child then. They stick their small tounge out slightly, eyes the blankly trusting stare of small children everywhere.

He clearly want to be carried. Ah. Of course, little one.

Did... did he agree to raise a dragon?

Just?

Itachi, smol. Serious. With lil baby man floped on his head or tucked lovingly in his arms. The TEXTBOOK definition of "he don't bite" "YES HE DO!!!" For everyone but Itachi and Sasuke. To whom he is, of course, an INNOCENT BABY who has NEVER done anything wrong EVER. An angel! Why is everyone being so MEAN to poor innocent baby man? Boo hoo~!

It fucks up SO MANY plans.

Because Itachi. A smol child. INSISTS he is a Father now. What are you going to do? Say he can be? Why? Because he's a CHILD? Which is it? Is he a Jounin or a Dependant? An adult in the eyes of the law or a child to be protected by said law from pushing him off to war? Old enough to die, old enough to parent his dragon son!

And SORRY Father, he CANT join Anbu. Who would be there for his child? Ah, he should join a parenting group. *various competent parent instincts go haywire over this tiny Uchiha child in need of parenting* Danzo? For some reason his son seems to really, REALLY hate him. Better avoid him. His child doesn't know yet not to bite respected elders.

Sasuke? Gets to be an UNCLE! To a DRAGON! He takes his job very seriously.

It's the best PR the clan has ever had.

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @mutable-manifestation

[poele-sexuel]

Okay so funny idea-

Rivalry is the only way to court a Hatake.

Being rivals with a Hatake means you are courting them.

Kakashi : *waiting for Gai, for almost over 20 years (!), to finally give him any fucking gifts that he could accept, signifying they would now be mates*

Gai : ETERNAL RIVAL !!! :D

Kakashi : *silently crying in his head*

Kakashi's ninken : *sigh in pain*

Gai : *has absolutely no idea about Hatake courting* ? :D

In the pure world :

Sakumo : *wincing for his son* aouch... My poor little pup...

Dai : *annoyed at his son obliviousness* SAGE DAMNIT SON-

Also... The Senju brothers being half Hatake.

Izuna : Aha ! We meet again rival !

Tobirama : Pardon !? since when ?! *Blushing shocked*

Izuna : Eh ??? *Confused*

Hashirama : !!! You didn't tell me Tobi ! :0

Madara : Izuna you moron ! They're half Hatake !!!

Izuna : !!! OH UM- NEVERMIND ! *blushing embarrassed*

Hashirama : Aw :'( *disappointed*

Tobirama : ... *Is secretly disappointed too*

Touka : *is laughing like a hyena*

Hikaku : *is sighing in exhaustion*

The rest of the Senjus and Uchihas fighting : *Stop fighting to observe bemused at the interaction*

During the summer where Hashirama and Madara meet... :

Madara : So are we rivals now ?

Hashirama : Ah- um... Maybe...? If you wanna, I wouldn't mind... *Is fidgeting, shy and blushing*

Madara : *looks at him confused* ???

Hashirama : I'm half Hatake...

Madara : OH- hhhhhhh... No. Sorry... *Looks away blushing, actually sad he has to say no*

Hashirama : Oh... ;'( *Sad little puppy*

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

My BFF (Kakashi Hatake x Reader)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Reader

Word Count: 2071

Warnings: Alcohol mention, mental health mention, death of unnamed characters briefly

Request: Um hi, I love your writing!! 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 could I please request a Kakashi imagine?? One where Kakashi and reader have been best friends forever and think nothing of how couple like they act until something makes them realizes how attracted they are to one another? (Maybe a bit steamy?) Thank you! Again I’m in LOVE with your writing 💕- Anon

A/N: This is my first fic after literal years, sorry if it is a bit rocky! I hope you enjoy Anon, I enjoyed writing it and might even do a Part 2!

You had been friends with Kakashi for as long as you could remember. In fact, you had been best friends with Kakashi for as long as you could remember. One of your first memories is of the two of you swinging at the park together, both trying to swing high enough that you would flip over the bar. Even though you never quite accomplished that, you think back on those times together fondly.

As the two of you grew older and began your Shinobi training, you remained close as you rose through the ranks to Chunin and later Jonin. However, while Kakashi became a stronger ninja over time, you felt yourself starting to waver. Not that you weren't strong in your own right, but you began to feel as if you no longer wanted to be. Missions began to feel more and more difficult, as those close to you no longer returned with you.

Through all of your struggles, Kakashi remained by your side.

"I just don't think I can keep doing this," you cried into Kakashi's chest. He laid back on your bed, back propped up on the headboard as you relaxed into him. He raised his hand to the back of your head, rubbing your hair comfortingly. "Too many of my friends have been killed, I couldn't save them. I'm not strong enough."

A sob made it's way through your body, Kakashi continuing to comfort you. He didn't need to say anything, you knew he could empathize with your words. Eventually, sleep took over your body and the two of you fell asleep. While most would have looked at your positioning as that of a couple, neither of you paid it any attention. You were best friends after all, and no strangers to a sleepover.

- Moments like that felt so far away now, as you enjoy a life now as a civilian. Seeing your condition years ago, the Hokage granted you leave and you were more than happy to take it. Kakashi supported you the entire time, and it was his support that kept you to your decision even in your weakest moments.

The two of you spent less time together now, as your job no longer kept you close. However, that did not mean you did not make time for each other. As you put on the finishing touches to your outfit for the evening, you heard a knock on your door.

"Kakashi!" You grinned, opening the door to see your friend in his signature outfit.

"Hi Y/n," he replied cheerfully. Although you couldn't see his smile, you saw the light from it reach the eye he didn't cover.

"I'm just about ready." All you had to do was pull on your shoes, and you were ready to join Kakashi as you walked to meet your friends at a nearby restaurant. As you walked, you linked your arm in his. There was not a dull moment as the two of you made your way to the restaurant, Kakashi catching up on his recent missions as you did the same for him on how your own job was going. To onlookers, you were a cute couple giggling on your way through town. That thought never crossed your mind.

"You made it!" Hollered Guy as the two of you joined him and the others in the booth. As you were the last to arrive, there was admittedly little space for the two of you to squeeze in to.

"Let me go find a chair," offered Yamato, beginning to stand to do so.

"It's alright, we'll just snuggle," you said with a joking smile as you scooted in close to Kakashi. Thanks to his face coverings, you were unaware of the blush that crossed the man's face. Come to think of it, there were a lot of things you didn't notice. The way Kakashi looked at you under the moonlight as you walked together, his increased heartrate the moment your arm touched his, how his eyes lingered on you as you finished getting ready earlier that evening.

"Whatever you say," shrugged Yamato. Quickly, the group began laughing and joking as usual. It wasn't long before the drinks became alcoholic, and it wasn't long after that when Guy challenged Kakashi to a drinking contest. The two of them together in one place never ended without a challenge of some kind.

Laughing at their antics, you got up to go to the bathroom.

"Don't you dare get too drunk," you said, pointing your finger at Kakashi. "You promised to walk you home, and I'm not carrying you!"

-

Kakashi couldn't stop himself from watching you walk away, the slight swing of your hips as you walked was entrancing.

"Yoo hoo," teased Yamato, making Kakashi turn his attention back to the table. "See something you like?"

It seemed as if everyone else had noticed Kakashi's attraction to you, other than yourself. It drove him crazy. He wished it could be easy, and you would pick up on his behavior so you could just tell him off and he could move on. However, things don't usually go easy for Kakashi. He knew if you hadn't figured it out by this point, the only way out of these feelings would be for him to tell you himself. That was not something Kakashi wanted to have to do.

"So, when are you going to grow a pair and ask her out?" Said Guy. Knowing it was a sore spot, he decided to tease him a bit. "If you don't, I might have to ask her out myself."

Kakashi smirked, "she wouldn't say yes after I beat you in our challenge tonight." He threw back his next drink.

Guy turned red in his agitation, but he drank his as well to stay on pace with Kakashi.

"Are you sure you're not already dating?" Said Yamato. "I mean, you picked her up, walked here with her, and you've basically been in each others' laps all night. Not to mention you promised to walk her home, and I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time she invites you in."

"It's not like that," grumbled Kakashi.

"You don't think of her that way?" Prodded Guy, trying to use Kakashi's reaction as a distraction to allow him to drink faster and pull ahead.

"I didn't say that," replied Kakashi. He sighed. "She's clearly happy just being friends, and I can be happy with that."

-

You stood around the corner from the booth, remaining out of sight. You may not have heard their entire conversation, but you had definitely heard enough. Kakashi... liked you?

A million thoughts ran through your brain, and as much as you didn't want to admit it, the pieces fell together in a way that made sense. The way he always allowed you to be so touchy-feely in a way that nobody else was allowed, and the way he was always there to hold and comfort you. You would be lying if you said you didn't think Kakashi was attractive, but you had never truly opened up your mind to the idea of changing your relationship with him. Despite that, now that the thought has entered your brain, it refuses to leave. Your head was spinning.

Taking a deep breath, you walked back to your seat as if you had heard nothing.

"So, who's winning?"

"I am, of course," said Guy confidently. To your surprise, he was right. More empty glasses set in front of him than Kakashi. Conversation continued to flow, though admittedly you did not hear much of it. Your mind was preoccupied with what you had heard from Kakashi. Your body felt as if it was on fire everywhere where you were touching Kakashi, the proximity inevitable as you had decided to sit so closely in the booth. Every glance in his direction made things worse, as all you could notice was how beautiful he looked in the light. The slight flush to his face told you he was becoming tipsy. While your thoughts used to stop there, you couldn't help yourself from thinking about how he may look the same in other situations, blushed and breathless.

"Kakashi," you said softly, now aware of the quickness when he turned his face towards you, and the spark in his eye. "I'm not feeling well."

Concern graced his features immediately, "are you alright?"

"Do you think you could walk me home now?" As you looked up into his eye, your mind continued racing. It's as if you were trying to catch up on all the romantic thoughts you could have been having this entire time, if you had simply allowed yourself to notice how soft his hair looked, how soft it might feel if you ran your hands through it now...

Kakashi quickly made his way to get up as you did the same, bidding your friends a goodbye and leaving money on the table to pay for both his own orders and your own. You noticed it this time when Guy wiggled his eyebrows at Kakashi, winking at him which result4ed in an eye roll from Kakashi.

Had they always been this obvious?

Stepping out into the cool night air, you couldn't help but shiver. You felt Kakashi's strong arm wrap around your shoulders. Your face flushed, which did not go unnoticed by him. Luckily for you, he assumed it was related to your not feeling well.

You walked home in near silence, which you were grateful for. You were worried that if you opened your mouth to speak, you may say what you were thinking. Thoughts of Kakashi's arms around you, his hands around you.

As you reached your front door, you were relieved. Unlocking it, you weren't surprised when Kakashi followed you inside as usual. However this time, you were surprised when it made you flush again and tingle down your spine.

You sat down, reaching to take off your shoes.

"Let me help you," said Kakashi, bending to his knees as he grabbed your shoe in his hand to take them off himself. While you knew he was doing it thinking you were sick, you couldn't help the images that rushed to your mind seeing him between your legs.

"Kakashi," you whispered, making him look up at you. He noticed how flushed you still were, reaching up to press his hand to your forehead.

"What's wrong?" He said kindly, checking to see if he felt a temperature. When he noticed your forehead was not irregularly warm, he pulled away to look at your face. His breath nearly caught in his throat as he caught your eye, seeing you breathless as he looked down at you.

"How long have you liked me?" You whispered. His eye grew wide.

"What do you-"

"I heard you guys at the restaurant," you said, your voice still quiet. "Why haven't you said anything to me before?"

Kakashi sighed, leaning back as embarrassment washed over him. At least you can finally reject him, he thought.

"I thought it was obvious," he said, "and when I realized it was obvious to you, it had been long enough that I was too embarrassed to say anything."

"I wish you had told me," you said as you sat up further.

"I'm sorry," said Kakashi. "I just thought-"

Before he could finish his thought, he felt your hand on his face, reaching for his mask.

"You didn't let me finish," you said with a sly smile. He thought his heart stopped as he watched your movements, hand pulling down his mask. "I wish you had told me, so we could have done this a whole lot sooner."

You pressed your lips to his softly, and he felt as if he had been possessed by some jutsu, freezing. Your hands made their way to his chest, not helping his frozen state.

You pulled away, worried something was wrong. Your worried eyes searched his, looking for a sign of doubt. All you found was disbelief. Giving him a moment to take everything in, it wasn't long before you felt his hands on your back, pulling you closer again. His lips on yours again, you let yourself relax into his embrace. It felt like forever before you both pulled away, breathless.

"I'm glad you heard me," he said with a lazy smile on his face.

"Me too," you replied before smiling mischievously. "Want to do that again?"

[mixelation]

one way torito/kakashi might escalate is this:

kakashi knows tori is shady. he initially decides he is not going to touch this with a fifty foot pole. he just wants to meet up anonymously to chat fandom things and then hook up. he doesn't need to get involved

besides, she's a civilian and she's running around unattended. she probably just has yakuza ties or sells supplies to missing-nin or something. she can't be involved with anyone truly high powered, or else they wouldn't be letting her run off to see kakashi

like, okay, someone MIGHT try to send a pretty lady to seduce intel out of kakashi. but they'd send someone hotter who doesn't call him illiterate for not having the same opinions on a trashy erotica series

anyway, kakashi just very politely doesn't talk about it for months. and then one day he giddily tells tori something he know she'll hate, and she makes That Face, and kakashi realizes he's unfortunately caught feelings

suddenly kakashi is like: is it yakuza? do you need out? i can kill yakuza. all of them. is someone blackmailing you? i can take care of that--

tori is both flattered and has a oh fuck, my cover moment

tori: obito, i need to get into debt with some yakuza. for kakashi obito: ......to see how plying damsel affects the sex?! tori: um. yes? obito: tori this is SUCH a good idea--

so now you see why the entire collect bijuu/moon's eye plan is on hold. tori and obito have to go off and orchestrate tori getting into extreme trouble with a major gang without getting her killed but without anyone getting a whiff that it's a set up or obito is involved. do you see???

anyway tori incurs yakuza debt specifically to then sic hatake kakashi on them. it's romantic. it DOES make kakashi kind of feverish and weird and desperate in bed

tori: i was kind of into it though. like it felt like he genuinely cared about me. it was nice obito: (taking notes) kakashi, in another country: (patting himself on the back for getting his poor helpless civilian girlfriend out of trouble)

[marvelmymarvel]

Wage War

Kakashi Hatake x NarutoMotherFigure!Reader

Synopsis: You were overprotective of Naruto. Overprotective to the point where Kakashi had to remind you that waging war on another five-year-old was not the answer.

A/n: I have a nephew. I have almost waged war on a two-year-old before for taking his toy and shoving him. I was cackling about this thought today at work. This is also based on Cameron in a scene from Modern Family 0:54 seconds is the part -> https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2360776/ You don't need to watch, but iykyk. I couldn't wait to write it.

Naruto Masterlist: Here

Kakashi’s eyes flicked to your face as a gasp fell from your lips. Your eyes were wide in shock before they quickly morphed into pure rage. “Hey, what-” Kakashi’s question fell on deaf ears as you stormed towards the playground. Naruto was wiping his eyes, trying to get rid of the sand that landed there. The other boy was laughing down at him but stopped once he saw you storming toward him. His face dropped, and he stumbled back. His mom warned him about you and told him not to mess with Naruto, for you were scarier than any punishment he would receive. He ignored her, of course.

He wished he had listened.

“Why you-”

“Hey, whoa, whoa!! You cannot wage war on a five-year-old!” Kakashi hissed as he grabbed you by the collar, yanking you back in the hopes of stopping your stampede. Your e/c eyes were blazing with fury, and while you were no longer speeding towards him, the little boy still felt afraid of what you would do. “If you ever put your hands on my son again, I will string you up by your feet, run you up the flag pole and let the birds… peck out your eyes….” 

“Do you understand me?” 

The young child gulped thickly at your threat, knowing it wasn't empty and was indeed genuine. “Y/n,” Kakashi hissed as Iruka came into view, eyes wide and frantic as he took in the scene before him. “Everything okay?” Iruka asked as he looked between you and the young child. He knew about your temper, knew about how overprotective you were. But he also knew how mean these kids were to Naruto, and none of his scoldings seemed to get through to them.

But somehow, someway, you managed to shut up the meanest of the bunch with a sentence and a look alone.

“This little shit-”

“Language, Y/n,” Kakashi reminded as he shot a covered smile towards Iruka, silently praying that he would take his apologies as your own. You weren't in the right headspace; you never were when it came to Naruto. 

“This young child,” you corrected yourself, yet still let the venom float through your words as you looked down at the child in disgust, “Kicked sand in Naruto’s face. I was simply telling him that if he messes with him again, he’ll have to deal with me….”

Iruka’s brown eyes were wide in shock as he looked at Kakashi for reassurance that what you were saying wasn’t as harsh as what you had said before he arrived, but the look Kakashi gave him told him you had said much worse and you were simply dumbing it down for the young teacher. “Okay… Well, um. We don't threaten our children, Y/n-”

Your e/c eyes shot to his, shutting him up as you challenged him to continue. 

“He wouldn't need to have been threatened if you would have been doing your job-”

“Y/n. that's enough,” Kakashi stated firmly as he ripped you back to his side, having quite enough of your hostile attitude now directed towards parties not involved. Iruka pursed his lips at your words; this wasn't the first time you’d said something incredibly hurtful. Therefore, he knew you didn't mean it. You were just angry with the world for the cards you were dealt. “I’ll have to report this incident to the headmaster-”

“Go ahead,” you snarled out as you grabbed Naruto. He whined as you hauled him onto your hip, eyes still tearing from the sand stuck there. “I’ll meet with him at four today. In the meantime, I’m going to take Naruto to the doctor to make sure this little asshole didn't mess his eyes up with the sand he so graciously kicked in his face” Your steely gaze flicked to the young boy, who flinched behind Iruka. You stormed off with Naruto closely pressed to your body, angrily promising Naruto that you would hurt anyone that hurt him. 

Kakashi sighed and sent another apologetic look at the younger teacher. “Sorry for her…. I’m sure you understand her anger?”

Iruka nodded before sending off the child to go play, “I do, but she needs to keep her anger in check-”

“She wouldn't hurt a child, Iruka. You know her just like I know her.”

Iruka looked at Kakashi blankly. His interactions with you were not always pleasant, but he couldn't deny that he knew your threats were empty even though your anger was not. He opened his mouth to add another warning, but Kakashi’s hand flew up, “I’ll make sure it doesn't happen again. Thanks,” Kakashi stated briefly before moving to catch up with you. Five years ago, when you took Naruto in, he didn't know that you’d have this level of love for the blonde. While it was a hassle sometimes, it was admirable. The unlovable child was loved, and everyone in this world needed someone to go to war for them.

Even if the war was against another five-year-old.

[skykashi]

Hi! I'm accompanying this mysterious little ghost while he's trick or treating. So far, this is all the candy we got. He heard you liked a certain Hatake Kakashi (the ghost likes him too, but pls don't tell anybody🤫) So... if you give him some candy he promises to share with Bakashi!

Awww, what a great costume obito kun... Um, I mean ghost kun

There's only one problem tho, I heard that bakashi kun doesn't like candy so maybe you can get him an eggplant later, he might even cook something delicious with it for you and Rin 😉

[oh-no-its-bird]

"I bet Hikaku-sama would know how to castrate someone." Ichigo mumbled, kicking at the floor dejectedly, and her mother paused. "Why in the world would Uchiha Hikaku know how to safely castrate someone?" Ichigo stared at her mother blankly, who stared back with an equally confused expression. "Um, cuz he's a eunuch, right?" "Excuse me?" Ichigo frowned. "He had to chop of his own, for some mission in the Daimyo's court or something, right? Before he became clan heir?" "Where did you hear that?" "The twins told me!" Ichigo scowled, oddly miffed by her mother's doubt. "And you believed them?" Ichigo planted her fists on her hips. "Well when I asked Kagami, he believed it too! And every time after that when I mentioned it to people, no one argued!" "Hatake Ichigo," her mother began, and Ichigo froze at her dangerously level tone. "Have you been going around telling people that the Uchiha clan heir is a eunuch." "Um." Was all she could manage, finally realizing she may have messed up. Just a bit.

Doing something silly, no one look at me rn

[dira333]

[A Child's] Truth

Kakashi Hatake x reader / Kakashi Hatake and his son

requested by @revasserium - I have no idea what this is

His name is Sakumo.

His name is Sakumo and he’s barely two weeks old, tiny hands curled around the blanket he’s wrapped in, tiny nose crunched up as he lets out a first whimper. It’s a warning, the beginning of a storm, eardrum-shattering wails, arms flailing in clear distaste.

His name is Sakumo and Kakashi can’t stop looking at him.

Ages ago, when your relationship had not yet been defined by words, the edges still of it still blurred by fear, he’d brought back a dog from his mission.

It had been a mutt from the streets, its fur a dirty mix between black and white, but his eyes had been a deep and trusting brown. 

He’d called it Ume and brought it home and his instinct had been right. You loved it dearly.

Ume slept in your bed when he was away, and brought in the newspaper early when you refused to wake up after a mission ending late. Sometimes he even came home to Pakkun curled up under Ume’s massive paw.

Kakashi liked to think that your communication did not need words. That it transcended beyond the written or spoken language. 

One time - he had been drunk - he even prided himself in being able to read your desires off the curve of your eyebrows. Thankfully it had only been Guy who had been witness to that and he’d sworn his friend to secrecy back then when it turned out that he, Kakashi, could do many things. But if he could have read your desires he sure as hell would not have come home wasted.

But even with a few hiccups here and there, he knew what you meant when you looked at him and you knew what he meant when he curled his fingers or scrunched up his nose. 

It made his home life quiet and his relationship so unspectacular that even the worst gossipers decided to look past the two of you.

Until you came back home from a mission with a baby bound to your back.

It wasn’t his as much as it wasn’t yours. At least biologically. 

But he could read it from the curve of your eyebrows and the slope of your nose that you had tied your life to this child, had thrown your heart at it and lept after it.

And who was he but your devoted disciple?

“His name is Sakumo.” You told him and placed the tiny bundle into his arms, the red of the blanket so fitting against his Hokage coat. 

Sakumo’s face was scrunched up, his head covered by a fluff of white hair and Kakashi could not lie. He fell in love for the second time in his life.

There is a risk in adopting a child from outside the village.

The information you’d been able to gather about him was sparse but sadly promising. 

He had no other relatives, no Clan to call his own. His mother had died bringing him to life, her last wish uttered as she had wrapped her hands around yours and begged you to take her son in. 

No one would come looking for him and Kakashi, who knew all to well how that felt like, vowed to always look after him.

As a child, he’d learned that there were two worlds.

The one adults made up and the one children had to live in.

Adults like to tell him that his father had been a coward, a disgrace to Konoha, someone not worth remembering.

But Kakashi had known the truth and had to live with the reality. No father, no mother, no one who’d come looking if he didn’t come home from training.

Sakumo would have a different life.

Sakumo would grow up in the Hokage tower and see the village as it is.

Filled with people who tried their best under rules that were meant to be bent when necessary. 

Sakumo would learn the truth.

That those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash, but, even more important, that he’d always have someone looking out for him.

His name is Sakumo Hatake.

He has white hair but is six years old. 

He is the son of Kakashi of the Sharingan but has no Kekkai Genkai. 

He has two dogs but loves cats a little bit more. 

He can tell you a lot of lies, but he knows the truth:

He’s named after his grandfather, a hero.

[animeomegas]

hello!! may i request naruto omegas reacting to their alpha calling them by their full name? i think it would be quite funny ^⁠_^

(Lol, you're right, this was fun to write XD I went for a load of different reasons why the alpha might say their full name haha. I just did a couple of the boys <3)

Naruto:

"Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto froze where he was, both hands poised to open an instant cup ramen. As his eyes met yours, he started to laugh nervously.

"Er...yes?" he asked sheepishly.

"What part of 'I'm making dinner tonight' did you not understand?" you asked, hands on your hips.

"Um, I'm hungry?"

"Put it back, or so help me."

Sasuke:

"Sasuke Uchiha," you started, steeling yourself with a deep breath. Than hand holding the paper was shaking. "Even back during our academy days, I knew that I was going to marry you. From the moment I declared you prettiest boy in class in front of my parents and asked for money to court you."

Sasuke was watching you intensely, and you were suddenly glad that he'd insisted on so few guests, because the vulnerability was massive.

You continued your speech, and you finally hit the last part.

"And I know that I'm making the best decision of my life today, because a life without you wouldn't be a life worth living. I love you so much sometimes it scares me, so much it burns, but it's still the best feeling I've ever felt."

Sasuke's face screwed up like he was going to cry, but at the last minute he turned his head away from you and the crowd and clearly used every self control mechanism he had to stop himself from shedding any tears.

Kakashi:

"Kakashi Hatake."

Kakashi looked down at you laying on his chest, eyebrow raised in a silent question.

"And Y/N Hatake," you added, smirking up at him. "Don't those names sound great together, 'kashi?"

Kakashi slowly turned red, every muscle tensing underneath you. You found great amusement in dropping marriage hints and watching him panic.

You let it hang for a few moments before laughing and breaking the tension.

"I'm only teasing you," you smiled, feeling him relax a little. "But I wasn't joking."

Itachi - (non-massacre)

"Itachi Uchiha."

He startled from his position reading a book on your bed.

"Yes?" he asked, looking baffled.

"If you don't do something about your brother, I am going to lock him in one of the kitchen cupboards, this is your one warning."

His baffled looked melted into one of amusement.

"What did he do this time?"

You held up the paper sign that you were holding. It read 'kick me, I deserve it'.

"He pinned this to my back this morning."

Itachi started to smile.

"If you laugh I'm putting you in the kitchen cupboard with him."

Shikamaru:

"Shikamaru Nara."

Shikamaru immediately froze, halfway through taking off his shoes in the doorway.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it," he said, holding up his hands.

You raised an eyebrow but didn't give a response. You could see Shikamaru's brain working overtime to figure out what he'd done, but nothing seemed to come to mind.

You watched him suffer for a bit before bursting out laughing.

"Sorry," you laughed. "I just wanted to see what you'd do if I did that."

Shino:

"Shino Aburame."

"Yes...?" he answered hesitantly, seeming unsure of what you were doing.

"That's the best idea ever, you're a genuis!"

Shino blushed a little.

"I am not a genius," he denied. "Why? The solution was quite simple and I was happy to provide it."

"Genius," you reiterated, grabbing his face and pressing your lips against his. "Thank you so much!"

You ran off, leaving Shino standing there, in crisis from the kiss.