#um so i just need to vent bc i am so fucking angry

[star-on-a-beach]

Okay um. I really don't like doing this, like, ever

But

Tw for vent post, Bc idk, maybe it'll help if I talk about this where it'll be seen and not on a vent blog where I know no one sees it

So it's pretty obvious that pretty much everything right now is in kind of a shit state and I'm really at the end of my line trying to be optimistic about it. Presidential election, rp, guard, college, art, writing, all of this shit, even stuff I'm supposed to enjoy, makes me want to fucking shatter a rock because I don't want to do anything anymore other than scroll through social media on my phone which, I've probably developed an addiction, and of course that makes me feel even fucking worse bc I told myself I'd never get addicted and look at where I am now

So many things I'm unhappy with are really kind of tying back to me and I'm so angry at everything but especially myself now, but theres nothing I feel like I can do about it but try and break it all down I guess?

There's shit going on with color guard and, other than the friends I've made within it and the actual performances, I don't fucking enjoy it anymore because our coach is apparently super fucking shitty and a liar and unfair and argumentative and never sticks with the drill she writes and doesn't give us the resources to put it together correctly, WHEHN SHES LITERALLY OUR COACH AND THATS HER JOB, IVE TRIED SO HARD TO STAY KIND TO HER BUT WITH EVERYONE AROUND ME TALKING SHIT AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT A BAD PERSON SHE IS IM STARTING TO DO IT TOO AND I HATE IT

And then obviously there's the actual schoolwork that needs to get done, I thought I had not one, not two, but 3 FUCKING ESSAYS DUE ON THE 11TH, WHICH WERE ASSIGNED TO US ON WEDNESDAY, AND EACH HAD TO BE 700 WORDS LONG. Granted it doesn't actually have to be like that but teachers are talking about finals now and I'm going to have SO many essays for that and I have a whole debate too. I'm tired and sick of waking up at ridiculously different times for classes and not being able to have a goddamn nap bc I'm either working, procrastinating with the screens addiction again, or I don't have enough time because god knows I can't take power naps for SHIT, and I'm not fucking paying for coffee in this economy

I can't even relax how I normally want to because I'm so tired from everything, too. Writing big things for TAOCC or drawing feels like a chore, and then I feel obligated to draw others characters or I want to actually do so but I have no energy for it, and I can't get my art to look how I want it to perspective-wise, no matter how many tutorials I look at, and it never ends up the way I want and I haven't even finished TAOCCTOBER or Memoryquest, both of which I feel shitty for, because then they're both more things that I'm giving up on, and I give up on so much shit so easily unless I'm being pushed over and over and over and over, although rn I really wanna just say to hell with it and kill both of them entirely

And with taocc as a whole, I don't even know where to begin. I mentioned in my earlier post that I'm struggling to be assertive and actually say what I want with RP, which results in me feeling really unsatisfied with it a lot. I feel like people aren't interested in my characters and I need to be the one trying to build the characters' connections by asking questions, which. I love when other characters ask mine questions, because so much would be revealed if PEOPLE JUST ASKED. I know you guys don't mean it in this way but I feel like I'm trying to push all of this out, but I barely get anything back except for maybe one question or comment or smth, but it feels like the characters aren't interested in my characters' pasts, and that means the mods aren't either. Which, is really no fault of yours, whether you are or not, it's my fault because I can't bring myself to get off my high horse and actually say "hey, are you willing to have your characters ask about mine?" because I have the firm mentality of "if they wanted to, they would", and I'm trying to make other characters feel important while also craving mine to feel important, but the moment they do, I wonder if I'm taking the main-character roles too much and I need to even it out so I immediately divert the attention back to yours and feel shitty about it. Once again, this is no one's fault but mine, and this is partially why my relationship with my last rp partner, aka my ex bsf, ended, because I wasn't assertive enough and kept wondering if I was hogging the spotlight any time focus did switch to my characters which just isn't enjoyable for anyone. So I'm angry and terrified that these patterns which are repeating are going to lead to a similar outcome.

It isn't even just that though, I just really hate how I write as a whole rn. I used to be so poetic and good with words but now they read difficult unless I'm writing a great wall of text, and my characters aren't acting the way I want to, partially because I'm trying to morph them to get along more with other characters and diminish their flaws so they're liked by others, but it just takes away from who they were originally and I hate that as well. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the rp but for fucks sake I expect myself to be a better writer than this.... and I haven't even gotten around to fixing the fucked-up-with-a-side-of-cheddar timelines, which have been NAGGING at my mind for FUCK KNOWS HOW LONG, but once again, I don't even want to do anything anymore and I get mad bc the only things I wanna do are just self indulgent shit and like hell I'm asking for that from anyone (see, that's part of the problem, right there.)

I think the only thing I hate more than not being assertive with rp is the fact that I'm an adult among you all. Yes, being 18 now while the majority of you are minors is a massive fucking deal to me, and I'm realizing why exactly adults generally avoid friendships like this, because I'm constantly worried about being a good example to you all. I have to have the good advice, I have to be available, I have to be good with assertiveness and boundaries, hell part of the reason I try and avoid venting so much is because you all do not fucking need to have that burden. Every time I do something like this post I immediately think "these are kids and I'm an adult, it's kids trying to help an adult who should not be saying this stuff or laying this burden on them", as if I'm some kind of weirdo. I really try my damndest to not be one of those adults who dumps all their problems on adolescents in order to feel better about their own shitty life, I don't want to be the adult who their younger friends are comforting all the time and have that burden on them (yes, I am completely aware this post contradicts that, and yes, I am very ashamed but I feel Im at rock bottom and you guys deserve to know (but don't deserve the burden of it)). I don't feel like the example I want to be to you guys, I'm incredibly dense, and half the time, I feel like an oblivious idiot for the simplest fucking things in rp even when no one says anything that implies any of you guys think that. I get so annoyed as well, and that's another part I especially hate, it's that I get annoyed with the smallest things so damn easily, whether it's someone saying something random in call and breaking silence, or someone talking about a subject after we've moved on, or a rant that's gone on for a really long time. All of those are ridiculous things to be annoyed by, and I'm completely aware of that. I'm not proud of it whatsoever. It might also be the weather, but I'm so, so, so annoyed by so many tiny, insignificant things nowadays that it's ridiculous, and I've snapped on call a few times which I feel horrible about. I'm trying so hard to be a good, strong role model for all of you, because that's what you deserve and I want to be like that for you. But, both here and in real life, my own idiocy and density and emotions make me feel like I'm never going to escape being a dense, emotional, spacy child who keeps trying to catch up. And as an adult, I'm really, really, really upset that I feel like this because once again, you guys are the minors, not me. I'm not saying you guys should feel like that (I really hope not, no one should feel like that), but it feels even worse since I'm trying to be the adult for you guys to look up to, but I'm looking up to all of you instead. And then, even worse, I get jealous. Not of the bad shit you guys go through, but like. Insignificant things. Art styles, friends, activities, actually having your family around. I really hate myself for being jealous of that and always comparing and trying to match it since it's completely hypocritical of me otherwise.

I'm closing up this vent, but tw for some darker themes in the next paragraph

I'm really just kind of sick of life as a whole. I'm done being an adult, to hell with this, just let me be the younger friend again so I don't have to see myself as an old baby. I'm tired of all of this and the dark jokes I make, they're horrible, but they're becoming more common and I think about the content of them a lot. I'm so tired of this shit and feeling like this and I'm mad and ashamed that I'm making this post because of everything I said above. I'm so done with everything. To hell with this country, to hell with my future, to hell with drawing and writing and trying to put stuff out. At the time of writing this I'm crying, because I'm really really missing my dad. I want to hug him and be with him. I want my family overall to be okay. I want to feel happy and content with myself and my life like back in summer. I'm so sorry for having to say all this but it's the truth and, again, this is my last resort for trying to feel better because hell knows I don't have the initiative to make an appointment and talk to a therapist on campus. Ik this will go away later but ffs i don't know if I can wait until later.

Ok, heavy vent part is over

I've said a lot so I'm ending it here. If you choose to ignore this, that's fine. I'd appreciate some kind of acknowlegement, tbh, whether it's a like or a comment or something, or just a kind word (whatever you do, please don't just put *hug* and leave it at that, hugs dont really feel like they have much more meaning at this point). It feels ridiculous to ask you for comfort especially after kinda dumping all of this here for you guys to see but I might as well try ig. Idk, I'm gonna just try and not delete this out of shame.

I hope you all know that I love you guys so, so, so, so much. This community has brought me so much joy and leaving is the last thing I'd ever dream of unless I had to. I hope you guys don't mind me doing this too much. Logically Ik you probably don't but, really, none of what I just vented about is based in logic regardless.

Thank you for reading, whether it was skimming or fully reading it. Kind words are appreciated but obviously not forced and I love you guys so much. Goodnight ❤️

[radikylie]

I hate group projects so much that i am internally screaming with the intensity of 5000 howling monkeys 🐒 🙃

[alexawynters]

TW

Venting. Don’t take this too seriously it’s fine I’m fine.

So my recent ex gf of 8 months (I count the time we were fucking around as well as dating bc let’s not lie I caught feels early because I’m pathetic) who broke up with me a little over two months ago is now hooking up with one of my closest friends.

Its cool. I still cry myself to sleep, have nightmares, and wake up crying throughout the night but it’s fine. I spend more time drunk than sober (I had been doing so well! It was two years since I was last an alcoholic) and replaying every red flag, every moment where I thought to myself “you know, I don’t think she really likes me, you don’t treat the people you like this way right?” And then my dumb desperate ass was like “no we’re going to overlook this because surely she would tell me right? Besides I’m asking for too much, I should just be grateful she even expressed any interest at all. Stop being needy. Stop asking for anything other than what she is giving you because you’re lucky she’s even with you, what’s wrong with you?

Like. The first two months we were together? I called my besties every other week crying because I felt like a human sex toy. She didn’t even seem to want to do relationship things. I didn’t understand why she even asked me out, I had told her before we got together if all she wanted to be was fwb that was okay. But she asked me out so I was like okay cool. You want to date me. As in be in a relationship. I’m excited for this. Let’s do relationship things. We didn’t often do relationship things. We did sexual ones instead.

Then after two months suddenly the sex all but stopped. I thought to myself okay cool every relationship hits a plateau, and levels out. This is normal. Little did I know that was the slow death of us. The. I was calling my besties every other week again, still crying, begging to know what I was doing wrong. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why didn’t she seem interested but was still with me? What was I doing wrong? What was I not doing enough of, or too much of, or just not doing right? What was wrong with me that I couldn’t seem to interest her beyond the bare bones minimum?

I found myself begging for her to spend time with me. I lived with roommates who were our friends, and it always felt like she wanted to spend more time with them than me. I had to ask her if we could have some “just us” nights which, rarely were ever actually just us unless we went out. There were times she would literally, every five minutes look out the window to see when my roommates were home, and I was like ???? Do you not want to spend time with me? She would go to the kitchen to get something and be gone for twenty minutes to an hour at a time, having gotten distracted and hanging out with them. Which isn’t inherently bad to be clear but it happened so often and I wondered. I never forgot about her when I was leaving the room and got stopped for a conversation. If I knew I was going to be long I would text her to invite her or let her know.

I had even told her if she wants to just hang out with them, she could. I genuinely wouldn’t have minded that. Have fun with your friends, you should. I could hang out in my room and be me (I’m incredibly introverted, autistic, and have anxiety, and the living situation had me ~*stressed*~ out) but she didn’t want to do that.

If we were out on a date, she was almost always texting, or snap chatting somebody else. I always tried to make it a point to focus on us when we were in dates, but it never felt reciprocated. I brought it up and then felt like an asshole for already asking for just us time, and now to please not be on your phone when we’re on a date. She looked so sad, like I had scolded her. I would replay it over and over in my head - I tried to be gentle and polite, not accusing or angry. I checked my words carefully and ran them by multiple people to try to be as non aggressive and non accusatory as I could before I ever spoke them to her. Clearly I didn’t succeed.

She has OCD (nothing against it and I usually found it endearing) and would sometimes go into a loop. I always tried to help her but usually just ended up frustrating her. She snapped at me on occasions including in front of my friends and didn’t often apologize for it. Something my friends brought up after she did it in front of them, and I made excuses for it. She was stressed out, I would be too, stop being so hard on her.

She never planned anything with me, I always had to do it. I brushed it off as her having anxiety and not liking planning, but when she asked me “oh we’re still doing that?” for the trip for my nieces wedding in which I was taking her to meet my (extremely judgey) family, the trip that I had been updating her on weekly about the plans trying to get any input from her on, the trip that I had to pull in favors for and grovel to get the time off to go to? I should have said never mind and cancelled it.

She didn’t even help plan my birthday. My best friends did, and showed me the texts where they were getting frustrated with her lack of input on it because she’s my girlfriend and surely she would want to participate in that? Want to help surprise me? It was my first surprise party ever. I told her thank you and she acted like she had absolutely had a hand in planning. Meanwhile my friends all got together while she and I were gone to vent about how pisses they were at her for her lack of effort.

I have some childhood trauma and I don’t like to be touched sexually. I’ll touch my partner and even enjoy it but I don’t like being touched. It triggers me. But she said no less than three times to different people “yeah I’ve still never gone down on a girl or anything” which made me feel like I wasn’t being a good enough girlfriend. So I got sex therapy. I worked through it as best I could. Not for me. I didn’t want to be touched that way but I wanted my girlfriend to be happy. I wanted to do right by her and give her everything she wanted or needed in a relationship. Right about this time is where the sex stopped. She also stopped flirting or doing things she used to do before we started/right as we started dating that were clear indicators that she liked me. (I am an oblivious idiot)

I started to get worried. Why was I working this hard if she didn’t actually want to touch me? I was happy not being touched, but now I was starting to think something was wrong. I was starting to feel like she didn’t even want me. I started asking for sex as reassurance that she was still interested. Still attracted.

She called me a horn dog.

Not just to me but also later to my best friend. I was so mortified I wanted to jump out of the window and run into traffic. *I* was a horndog? All I wanted was affection and reassurance. She said her love language was physical affection and so was mine but she rarely gave me the cuddles I needed. I would ask her for “pets” - where she would play with my hair or just run her hand up and down my arm. This for me is intimacy. I had no problems doing it for her ever but she would get annoyed when I asked, saying it was hard for her to focus on the tv.

Okay? So? I’m not asking much, I didn’t think. I stopped paying attention to the tv when I was petting her. I made her my whole focus so she would feel loved. I mean unless it was like Harry Potter but I would be mindful to alternate so she wouldn’t be left out.

She only introduced me to one of her friends (who I thought was pretty cool but I worry she hates me so I just don’t talk to her now). At first I thought this was because she was in the closet. To be clear I never had a problem with that. I would never push someone to come out before they were ready and I hate movies and media that have the partner doing that. It’s shitty and dangerous. If she felt safer in the closet more power to her. I actively went to bat for protecting that secret for her. Sometimes our friends would forget and tag her in shit that would out her. I would be in their texts and calling them immediately explaining the situation and asking them to untag or take the post down. I’m not saying that as any sort of bragging. That’s literally the least I could do. I’m saying it to illustrate that I don’t have a problem with her being in the closet. But then she told me her friends knew about us. So I was like okay cool you’ve met all of my friends and are part of the group. I’d like to meet your friends. “Um.. they’re just really busy”. I mean. Yeah so are my friends and I didn’t mean like right now I just meant maybe mention it to them and we can some time schedule a hang out. “They’re just really busy”. Red flag but okay. Gonna just. Overlook this one too. It’s fine.

I spent more nights when she visited waiting for her to fall asleep so I could cry myself to sleep over how worthless I felt. Why was I doing this? Everything hurt but maybe I was just asking too much. Had my expectations too high. I’ve been told that before. Usually by people who have left me, those who stay (and my therapist) insist I’ve been asking for the bare minimum. To this day I still don’t know. If all you get is nothing , surely you are nothing? You don’t deserve to ask for more.

By June I started thinking she’s not happy with me. I’m not the one she wants. I don’t think much of myself. I don’t think I’m worth anything. I wrote her a letter that sat in my desk at work, basically saying that she deserved to be happy. She deserved to be with someone who sparks excitement, joy, and romance in her. Someone she wants to introduce to her friends (that she’s out to). Someone that she wants to spend time with and forgets about anyone else (within reason obviously, not like actually forgetting the world friends and responsibilities). Someone she is actually excited to spend time with and looks forward to. Someone that makes her not want to cancel every other date. She shouldn’t settle, even if it’s for me.

It broke my heart to write that letter. I was going to give it to her after her birthday because I didn’t want to be a sick and break up with her right before/on her birthday. Turns out she beat me to the punch and dumped me after I took her home.

I don’t know why I was surprised. The entire relationship things didn’t feel right. I always felt like I was doing something wrong. People in my life always seem to like the idea of me and then when they get to see the real me suddenly it’s like oops too much I’m out. Or alternatively they just.. they think I’m interesting and then lose interest.

My birth mother rejected me not once but twice. My adoptive mother was thrilled at the idea of me until I got to be about 4 and she realized something wasn’t quite right. My dad doesn’t care enough about me to stop drinking. Almost every single best friend I’ve ever had growing up has left usually because of some stupid shit I’ve done or because they’re embarrassed of me. Cheryl thought I was some monster out to hurt my friends (even when said “hurt” friend who was actually there went to bat for me and confirmed that I was literally just in the wrong place at the wrong time). Holly stopped caring. Brie never cared. Johanna only cared when she could use her affection of me to hurt someone else she was being petty with. Lissa only wanted someone she could bully, and even once she had me it wasn’t enough. Jerika definitely didn’t want me, and even my closest friend of 17 years Amy left for three months in which I genuinely thought she wasn’t coming back because I had the audacity to try to help her out of a panic attack. Jocelyn couldn’t stand me for more than a week at a time and roxii didn’t have the time of day for me after Americorps.

I feel like my whole life has just been a game of measurements that’s found me wanting. I tried. I tried so hard and I know I didn’t succeed I know there were things I could have done differently with my latest ex. Things I could have done better. I’ve never wanted anything to work so much in my life. Never tried so hard and still I wasn’t enough. I’m never enough.

I watched her, the woman that I was in love with, slowly lose interest in me over the course of about 4 months. Do you know what that’s like? What that does to you? The more I tried, the quicker she seemed to fade. I kept thinking if I just try harder, I’m just not doing, saying the right things. I read every book on relationships I could get my hands on (blatantly ignoring the parts that told me I should see the red flags for what they were and step away). I took notes. I watched therapy videos. I put to work every therapy technique I had ever learned. I wasn’t perfect but I was going to give this everything I had. Just once I didn’t want anyone to be able to say I didn’t try. I wanted to be as healthy, loving and supportive of a partner as I could because I loved her and didn’t want to hurt her. I knew that I had a lot of personal growth that I had been working on before I met her and I wanted to really ramp that up while I was with her to be good to her. To be good for her.

I’m not even mad. My friends say I should be. They’re mad on my behalf and I’m the one telling them to be nice, and defending her. Part of me thinks they’re right but mostly, mostly I think I’m just a steaming pile of shit and I deserved this.

I wasn’t enough. I’m tired of not being enough. I’m tired of fighting the universe showing me over, and over, and over, and over, and over again how absolutely worthless, not shit I am.

When she broke up with me I told her I felt like I was losing one of my best friends. She said we’re still friends I’m still going to be in your life and we will still talk. Turns out that’s only if I initiate and usually shortly after she shuts it down. So. I guess not.

I asked her one thing and that was when (not if because obviously when, I mean if you saw her you would understand) she moved on if she could just not bring the new person around for the first few months so I didn’t have to see it immediately I would appreciate it and she was like yeah for sure. I told her I wanted her to be happy and I meant it. I just didn’t realize it was going to be barely over 2 months and with one of my good friends.

To be clear she can date whomever she wants. I just thought there might have been more time between them showing up publicly and honestly? Even if her friend was single, interested in me, and I interested in her, I wouldn’t have dated her friend. Even if the positions were reversed and I actually broke up with her first, I wouldn’t have dated her friend. I would imagine that would hurt and I never want to hurt her. Ever. I just.. I wouldn’t have done it. And then she told my one best friend to not tell my other best friend or me and I’m like?? So you know this is a little shady and you’re still gonna?? Like you literally couldn’t wake a couple more months? Just til after Friendsgiving so I don’t have to come to a group event and plaster on a smile when it makes me want to stab myself in the heart.

Alright. Well. Good for her. And I mean that. I just.. can’t see that right now so I’m not seeing any of them. I heard the song Reminds me of you by Kim petras today “cut off all my friends because they remind me of you” and literally felt punched in the gut. Like yep. Too right. Because what am I supposed to go go hang out with my closest friends, where she and her new partner are, and fake a smile? I’m barely holding it together. There’s literally not a day in which I don’t want to kill myself.

Not because she broke up with me. Because I’m tired of being worthless to everyone I care about. Like why the fuck am I even here? Is this what I was born for? To be trash? To be used by people until they find someone better? Or to be someone’s quirky new friend until they find out my quirks are not an act? Or for people to think Im interesting only to slowly realize that I’m not and want nothing to do with me?

I think about all the things I’ve survived that I shouldn’t have and get frustrated because wHY? Why couldnt I just have died and been done with everything? I said to Nathan the other day that at some point I have to realize that the common denominator here is me. Clearly I am the problem. Clearly I am worthless and it’s time to fucking accept that. His reply was that it’s easy to think that you’re the common denominator when it’s your life but that’s just because you’re stuck in it. Idk man. I don’t think I have just extraordinarily shitty luck. I think it’s just me.

I am worthless. Not shit. To anyone. There are some who have stayed but it’s literally just a matter of time until they leave. It’s inevitable, and I’m tired of trying to pretend it’s not. I’m tired of trying to pretend I’m worth something to anyone. I’m tired of begging people to care about me, family, friends, partners. I’m just tired. So tired. Im tired of being tired.

Fuck my life insurance policy. The majority of the people on it don’t care about me anyway, so fuck it if it doesn’t pay out. It wouldn’t be my problem. Sitting here trying to think of ways that wouldn’t traumatize my roommates, would be guaranteed, relatively pain free, and wouldn’t put anyone else at risk. And then I remember I’m a coward and if I fuck it up then there goes what little I have made of my career, I’d lose my job (not that I’m thriving anyway), I’d probably be permanently damaged in ways that would then make me a burden to my parents.

Maybe I can’t kill myself, but somebody else sure could. I could find somebody abusive and just throw myself into that until one day they take it too far. That’s about what I deserve. And then my policy would pay out and the people I live most would be taken care of, regardless of how their treatment of me makes me feel. Maybe I could do some good in this world. The only good I’ll have ever done but it has to count for something right? Who am I kidding nothing I do counts for anything but I’m crazy and keep doing the same things expecting different results.

It’s funny. The one person who wants to leave me the most, can’t. I wish I could though.

Don’t take this too seriously I’m venting. it’s fine, I’m fine.

[marvxlousqueen]

Warren Worthington- Share My Bed (pt 2)

read part one here! 

word count: 2.5k

warnings: mentions of sex, cussing, peter is still nuts about ping pong i’m sorry 

A/N: I’m glad you guys liked it and wanted a part two :)) also thank you to everyone who sent asks giving ideas and what not :) also i’m sorry if this is trash but i’m really tired 

also tagging @itsametaphorbriansblog should i start a tag list?? 

using the same gif bc it’s pt 2

Peter jolted awake after the smell of bacon and eggs floated into his room the next morning. He looked to his side, trying to find (Y/n), but seeing nothing. He hopped out of bed, planning to make a run to the cafeteria kitchen to grab the fresh food before anyone else could. He turned around while slipping on his goggles and saw another figure in Warren’s bed. 

“Oh-oh my god, (Y/n) what the-” Why is she in Warren’s bed? Does she know she’s in Warren’s bed? 

Peter snuck over to Warren’s side of the room, gently pushing one of his fluffy wings over, revealing more of (Y/n). Warren had an arm draped over her waist, his chest pressed against her back. Peter started poking at (Y/n), hoping she would wake up without alerting Warren. “(Y/n).. (y/n) wake up.. come on,” he whispered, poking her cheek repeatedly.

“Wh-what? What’s happening?” (Y/n) voice was groggy and raspy, eyes barely being able to see anything, still adjusting to the morning light. “Peter? What-”

“Why are you in Warren’s bed?” He was whispering screaming at her, still trying to not disturb Warren. She looked over and saw him peacefully snuggled into her. Wow, he actually looks like an angel, she thought. She looked back at Peter, eyes rolling before she began whisper screaming back, “I didn’t want to be! You kicked me out of bed, you dick!”

“I did not!” 

“Uh-yes you did, you were like a dog running in it’s sleep.” 

“Well that doesn’t mean you have to go jump into bed with some random guy. Come on, I’m getting you out of here.” Peter grabbed (Y/n) arms and started to pull her from Warren’s grasp. “No, Peter, stop. It’s 7 am on a Saturday, I’m going back to sleep.” Peter just shook his head, I will not have my friend taken from me by some newbie, he thought. He continued to tug on her arms, almost pulling her completely off the bed until Warren tighten his grip, pulling her back into his chest. He nuzzled his face into her neck, wings wrapping around her once more. His eyes fluttered open, all the movement had woken him. 

“Morning.” His voice was gravelly, still heavy with sleep. Once his eyes finally adjusted to the brightness of the room, Warren saw a very angry Peter looking down at him. “What?” 

“Can I talk to you, bro? In the hallway. Now.” Peter stormed out of the room and into the hallway, waiting for Warren to follow. 

“Why’s he mad?” (Y/n) shrugged, feeling cold once Warren unwrapped his wings from her body. He stood up, not bothering to put on shoes before stepping out into the hallways. Warren cracked the door, figuring Peter wouldn’t want (Y/n) listening in. 

“What the hell? Best friends are off limits!” Peter was turning increasingly red, which was easy for him to do considering how pale he was. “Wait-since when are you guys best friends? I thought you only just started hanging out?” 

“It doesn’t matter! She’s my friend, you will not get involved with her because then who am I supposed to hang out with?” 

Warren was getting frustrated with Peter. Peter had been at this school longer and seemed to have no problems making friends, whereas Warren had only met one person who was interested in talking to him (besides Peter), which was (Y/n). 

“Peter, you have tons of friends. I need a friend and I want it to be her.” 

“So you just want to be friends with her?” Peter raised his eyebrows, knowing that people who just want to be friends don’t cuddle like (Y/n) and Warren were. 

“Yeah. Yes, just friends.” Warren nodded his head, keeping his eyes on Peter. He knew lying was bad, but when he saw Peter relax his shoulders, he knew it was the right thing to do, just for a little while until he spoke to (Y/n) about how she feels towards him.

“Good, good. Come on, I’ll teach you how to play ping pong after we grab some breakfast.” Warren was surprised that Peter wanted to spend time with him. I have friends, he thought. I have two whole friends. Warren wanted to slap himself for being so excited over something so small, but he was happy. It was only his third day at the school and he had already met some great people who liked him and who he liked back, one as more than a friend. 

Warren followed Peter into their room to slip on his shoes before heading to the cafeteria when he saw (Y/n) grab her pillow to leave. “Hey, (Y/n)... where you going?” (Y/n) just stared straight past Warren, ignoring his question, instead looking to Peter. “Thanks for letting me stay, it won’t happen again.” She left with a slam of the door.

“What-um, what was that about?” Peter shrugged as a response. “Sometimes girls are just like that. She’s probably just missing her own bed.” Warren wasn’t convinced. She seemed actually upset, but he figured he would wait to ask about it when he saw her later, considering he didn’t know where her room was and was too shy to ask Peter, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. Even though it wouldn’t be the wrong idea, he thought. You shouldn’t have lied, Warren, now how is he going to trust you when he finds out?

Warren pushed the thoughts down, instead focusing on Peter’s words as he described the art which is the game of ping pong. 

(Y/n) rushed back to her room, face burning, knocking loudly to wake up Jean and Scott. “Let me in!” Scott answered the door, only wearing boxers. “What do you need?” 

(Y/n) rolled her eyes. “I need you out of my room. And I need to talk to Jean.” 

Jean was awake at this point. “No, you can’t just kick Scott out.” 

“Uh-yes I can. I get kicked out of here all the time and it’s actually my fucking room, so get out Summers before I make you.” (Y/n) pushed Scott into the hallway and locked the door behind her. He started pounding on the door. “I don’t have my clothes!”

“Get over it! I need to talk to Jean!”

Jean stood up, grabbing his clothes before opening the door to hand them to him. (Y/n) slammed the door again, “No! Scott can’t be in here, it’s personal and I’m pissed and need to vent, so please just sit down and listen.” Jean took a seat on her bed, head feeling cloudy from waking up and having to move so much so suddenly. 

“So! What does it mean if a boy invites you into their bed? Apparently, it means they just want to be friends! Did you know that? I certainly didn’t know that. I would’ve thought that if a boy invites you into their bed and wraps their arms around you, it meant he was interested in you, right? But! I guess not!” (Y/n) took an aggressive step towards her bed, before throwing herself down, screaming into her pillow. She felt the mattress dip next to her. 

“Tell me more, I’m listening.” Jean started to brush her hair out of her face, but (Y/n) just buried herself further into her pillow, too embarrassed to speak. “Did Peter come onto you?” 

(Y/n) sat up, shaking her head. “No.” 

“Then who..?”

“Warren.”

“Who’s that?” 

“His new super cute roommate. I swear he looks like an angel, and not just because of the wings.”

“Wings? Oh god, is it the guy who tried to kill us last year? (Y/n), no! He’s dangerous with those metal, knife wings, and-”

“He doesn’t have those anymore. He had these huge, feather wings and he held me with them last night.” Jean’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, you actually cuddled with a guy you just met? Who tried to kill us last year?” (Y/n) nodded sheepishly, “Peter kicked me out of his bed, like literally kicked me. And it was freezing because someone wouldn’t let me in to grab a blanket, and he offered so..” 

“I’m sorry about that. I know I’ve been a lot lately with Scott and everything, but I just like being close to him. I mean, what if something like last year happened and we died? Life is so short and-”

“I forgive you, you can stop talking.” She nodded, realising her friend was actually upset. “Why do you think he’s not interested in you? It sounds like he is.” (Y/n) shook her head, eyes meeting Jean’s. “I heard him tell Peter. Said he wanted to be just friends. Don’t know why I’m surprised, no one is ever interested in me.”

“That’s not true, come on. I have a feeling he was just saying that. He’s probably shy.” (Y/n) shrugged, not answering. “Let’s go grab some breakfast, yeah? Then we can have a girls day at the mall. That’ll cheer you up!” 

“Fine. I’ll go find Jubilee and tell her. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria.” (Y/n) stood up, making her way to the door before Jean grabbed her arm. “You should also invite Jubilee’s roommate. That new girl who helped us out against Apocalypse. I think her name’s Ororo. She seems nice.” (Y/n) nodded, speeding across the dormitories into Jubilee’s room.

Peter was sat in his room that afternoon waiting for (Y/n) to drop by. His foot was tapping rapidly in an attempt to calm himself. Warren was sat on the other side of their room, attempting to catch up on the classwork he had missed while being on bed rest. Finally at 8 o’clock, Peter sped off to Jean and (Y/n)’s room, worried something might have happened. (Y/n) answered when he knocked, wearing a face mask. Peter looked over her shoulder and saw Jean, Jubilee, and Ororo wearing the same. “Hey Pete, it’s girls night. Sorry, no boys allowed.” Ororo let out a yell of agreement from behind her, making Jubilee laugh and almost choke on her soda. 

“How come you didn’t come by? I was waiting for our ping pong game.” His eyes showed that he was worried. Maybe she was actually upset this morning, he thought. “It’s girls night, so Scott didn’t come over and I didn’t get kicked out.” 

Jean spoke up from behind her to add on. “And I realized I was being a bit of a dick kicking her out everyday so Scott won’t be coming over as much.”

“O-oh. That’s, that’s good then. Yay for you.”  Peter stepped back into the hallway, about to run off before (Y/n) followed, peeling her face mask off as she spoke. “What’s up? You seem.. sad?”

“...I liked hanging out with you. Warren was enjoying it too, I could tell. He said he wanted to be friends!” 

“Yeah that’s kind of the problem,” she muttered, but of course Peter was able to catch every word. “The problem? You don’t like Warren?”

“No-I, uh. I do like him, Peter. Like I like like him. But I heard him say he doesn’t like me so I’m not sure if I want to spend a lot of time with him yet.” 

“Oh.. you like him? That’s... fun.”

“Why did you say it like that?” Peter opened his mouth, then closed it to think before speaking. “It’s just- I don’t like the idea of you dating him because then you would only come to our room to see him, not me. And- and I know it sounds sad, but you’re one of my closest friends, even though we just became friends. Just- not a lot of people can handle my.. personality and energy. They get annoyed, but you don’t and I don’t want to lose that.” 

“Peter, you aren’t going to lose anything, okay? First of all, just because I date someone doesn’t mean I would abandon you, right? And second, he doesn’t even like me so it’s not relevant.” 

Peter shrugged, “He might’ve lied to me because he sure did seem to like you while you two were cuddling. You know what, I’ll go ask right now.”

“Peter, no! Don’t-” (Y/n) was cut off as a blur of silver sped down the hallway, towards Warren. (Y/n) took off after him despite knowing there was no way she could catch up. “Peter stop!”

Warren sat up fast from his bed when he saw Peter crash through the door. “What the fuck are you doing?” Peter ignored his question. “So earlier when you said you didn’t like (Y/n) that was a lie, right? Because she totally likes you and was sad because she heard you say you just wanted to be friends and I don’t like seeing my friend sad so I hope you were lying to me.” Peter’s words tumbled out of his mouth so fast that Warren tried to piece together what he said. 

“She-she likes me?” Once the words left Warren’s mouth, (Y/n) burst through the door, pushing Peter over. “Peter don’t you dare!” She looked at Warren, her face red from her sprint down the hallway and from embarrassment. “Did he-um, did he say... anything? Because if he did, it’s a lie.”

“I already told him.” (Y/n) (if possible) felt her face get even hotter. Her eyes met Warren’s before she turned and took off, heading for the safety of her own room again. 

“What should I do?” Warren looked at Peter, who decided to stay on the ground finding it quite comfortable. “If you like her I would tell her, but if not don’t hurt her or I will hurt you.” 

“What happened to ‘best friends are off limits’?” 

“That was before I saw her so upset. Plus she told me she wouldn’t abandon me so I’m okay with it.” Warren nodded before pushing off his bed, making his way to where he assumed (Y/n)’s room was. He soon realized he didn’t know the exact room so he knocked on a few, hoping to find her. 

Finally one of the doors opened to reveal Jean. “Can I talk to (Y/n)? Please.” Warren could’ve sworn his mouth had never been this dry. Jean stepped aside, allowing him to come in. He saw Ororo and Jubilee stretched out on the floor, then he saw (Y/n) curled up in her bed, head under her blanket. Warren slowly approached her before pulling off her blanket. “C-can I talk to you?” 

She opened her eyes, meeting his, nodding. (Y/n) didn’t move, wanting Warren to talk to her where she was. “O-okay. So-um, yes, Peter told me and- I.. I like you too. I’m sorry you heard what you did, but Peter was on my case about liking you and I don’t know...” Her eyes widened, “You like me back? Oh my god.”

Jean laughed from across the room at the tone (Y/n) used, one of pure shock. Warren nodded, his eyes flicking from her lips to her eyes. (Y/n) sat all the way up and started to lean forward. Warren met her halfway, pressing his lips to hers. They broke apart seconds later, remembering they were in a room with others. 

“It’s girls night, no boys allowed!” Ororo successfully broke the silence, making Jubilee and Jean erupt into laughter. (Y/n) looked to them and then back at Warren. 

“Maybe you guys could take girls night somewhere else, hm? Give me and Warren some time to talk..” Jean’s eyes widened, “You’re kicking me out for the night?”

“Oh come on, Jean. I would do it for you and you know that.”  

[sweetcatastrophex]

sooo i need to vent. ive been feeling sad today and trying to figure out why. probably bc i’m disheartened each time i read something on social media and see comments like “journalists these days suck” or “the media is responsible for the toilet paper rush” or “the media is fear mongering” or whatever else people have been spewing these days. most of it is false and ive said this a million times already but will say it again: specify who the fuck you’re calling out. “the media” is way too broad a phrase. do you mean mainstream broadcast news anchors on tv? bc, yes *news flash* THEY ARE NOT JOURNALISTS. they are faces. they are pretty heads that say out loud what’s on the teleprompter which was reported by, you guessed it, reporters. as a local news journalist, ive been working long hours (from home, i’m grateful) to get high quality, accurate, interesting stories to people. and they get my product for free, or at least most of it, when it’s posted online. and i am being paid SO POORLY for what i’m doing. i work weekends, i work holidays and don’t receive overtime or holiday pay. our CEO has cut our pay yet asked for more work. it’s unbelievable. my colleague has asked for a raise and still hasn’t gotten it for over a year. so i’m not even going to ask. i’m constantly surrounded by news about coronavirus, the death toll, the strain on our resources, our failure of a president fucking everything up in every way he possibly can, the essential workers’ stories... i feel drained. i feel overwhelmed. i feel like i can’t churn out any more coronavirus stories. i’m running dry. i have to have two front page stories for next week, though, in addition to filling up the rest of my paper. i am tired. i don’t want to do it anymore. i can’t wait to transition into PR. but now that’s been put on hold bc of all this.  i occasionally see one of the rotating headlines on the amazon echo in the living room: “why millennials should care about coronavirus.” um. excuse me??? WE are the ones on the front lines dealing with it as nurses, doctors, firefighters, funeral home workers... i already posted about this separately but it’s so annoying to think that people are seeing this headline and thinking “wow, fuck millennials.” it makes me so angry and all of these come together as the perfect storm to make me feel extremely unappreciated. like mine and everyone else in my generation is doing nothing. we’re risking our lives and it’s thankless... and then i feel bad for even thinking like this bc i should be grateful at this time in my life, i and my family have our health and i am very grateful but it’s hard, it’s really hard to work when it just seems like everyone hates me bc i’m a journalist. also, i just looked it up, and millennials make up most of the workforce in this country. so, wtf? false and misleading headlines on echo now, too? ridiculous.

[amorprehistorico]

im so pissed like i rarely get this mad over anything but like.....

so there’s this guy who transferred over to our uni for his last year and i thought it was cool u know make new friends we’re both in the same program we’re both latinx immigrants w/e fun stuff.....anyways this fkn asshole said something really annoying today....we were all talking about what credits we had left to finish and he asked me if my summer rsrch grant was my capstone/thesis and i said no i explained what it was WHILE HE KEPT TRYING TO TALK OVER ME EVEN THOUGH HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED ME THIS QUESTION..!!!!! and so my really rlly sweet friend was like yeah brenda’s the super mvp she’s such a badass i go to her for everything she’s super great which i obviously replied with no no i’m just trying my fkn best like everyone else bc i don’t know how to take a compliment....anyways he immediately says OH ur just like me at my old school like YOU ARE ME HERE ???? i was like ...no i am ME doing this for ME i don’t understand why you have to insert urself into MY shit but....and then he goes i’m sure that if we did like a project together (???to which i was like EW no???) it would be amazing.....um honey im sorry to tell u but i don’t need u to do something amazing.!!! I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND MEN’S NEED TO INSERT THEMSELVES INTO EVERYTHING.....why do my recognitions and my honors and my hard work have to be compared to you or likened to you?? why do you have to take everything i’ve done and make it something to praise YOU for??? did you get a research grant??? do u have a 4.0 in the program???? WHY IS BEING LIKENED TO YOU SUPPOSED TO FLATTER ME??????????????????? yup so rant over i guess haha i never really let this shit out but i vented to my friend and her sister and this new grad student and they were like omg brenda and i was like FUCK  this dude idc i hate that he brings out this horrible bitter side of me and the fact that he just threw me off and im spending so much energy being angry but like....fuck this dude honestly 

[sapphirescalemate]

almost died today had another test with just writing today and tomorrow we have the liturature FINal bc she's a mad woman but anyway I fucked up and got super pissed/silent angry breakdown and I had no outlet this time like last time I hurt myself then the wall or I use tumblr but I didn't have that so I ended up writing angrily on paper?? And I mean Real angry I kinda scratched out thoughts on my mind but of course they're all in tumblr format like "oh can't even do that one thing after Actually trying what's the point you Dumb MotherFucker" kinda shit and like i filled a sheet and a 5th of paper of pure internal 'vent' and vulgar language stuff and it gradually turned started to dig/lead into other bubbling problems. But no one was hurt I calmed down and all is well. So I turn in my test and when I come back from the bathrrom my papers aren't on my desk I'm like UM where are my papers???? Teach is just "oh I stapled them to your essay" like ??? I gave u my essay and you still took the thing off the desk like not only am I confused but how did you miss the Giant "YOU FUCKING IDIOT" and "WHAT THE FUCK!!" on it?? I just Fear I got em back she didn't say anything so ok WHEW I'm free who knows what drama would have went down and she read my personal feelings n shit ohhh coulda been bad After school my dads like Are You Ok? yea why? ............ (I'm thinkin fuck) uhhhh did you get an email today.......? Mjmm he says while choking on his water FUCK SHE SAW MY PAPERS AND EMAILED MY DAD ABT IT OHHHH SHIT 60% to a cold 10% feeling right there oh man I'm lucky teacher wasn't really paying attention (still have no idea how she missed it tho) and just mentioned that I seemed upset today anyways all is good now but dude writing that was the best thing I coulda done in the moment instead of bad stuff or seething but also a very vulnerable not great idea bc if someone read those papers damn would I be in a instant "We are worried about you let me tell you why everything on here is wrong" talk session which I really don't need right now and already have heard a million times thanks anyway

[kiishou]

1-98! Not 99

1) Sexuality?

I am pansexual and demisexual

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I would love to meet Obama

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

4) What do you think about most?

I think about a lot of things but I think I mostly think about the beauty in life and how often it goes unnoticed.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Ok”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I usually do because I tend to fall asleep in whatever I’m wearing (usually like jeans and a sweater)

7) What’s your strangest talent?

I took a quiz on what my talent is and I got “Secret Singer” so there ya go

p.s. my boyfriend says organization is another talent of mine

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls are so pretty you should look at the nearest girl and admire her. Boys are misunderstood and raised to live up to some bullshit standards and should learn to be more forgiving and understanding of the world.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

“I’m working on it” - Shane 6:00p 22.03.2017

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um never i’m not a loser HAHA

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

Atelophobia, metamfiezomaiophobia, and i forgot the word but… fear of automatic toilets

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

when i was younger i stuck a grape up my nose

13) What’s your religion?

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

probably either going for a walk/enjoying the weather OR on my way back inside

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind the camera

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

i have more like favorite artists of the month or a period of time so the one for this month is: in love with a ghost

17) What was the last lie you told?

“i’m not upset”

18) Do you believe in karma?

YES i do (it’s been kind of good to me lately)

19) What does your URL mean?

it’s my gamertag and literally just a dumb pun on my nickname

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

my greatest weakness: proving others wrong / impulsion

my greatest strength: cheering others up /  “fucking” selfless

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Emilia Clarke

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope it would be too cold

23) How do you vent your anger?

I cry out of frustration but I’m never really angry. I know things make me upset and sometimes I’ll take it out on myself by like self loathing and shit; other times I get upset at others as well.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I’ve been collecting figures and other nerdy shit over some time now (I can post a photo of my shelf), I’ve been collecting the C9 season posters but I’m missing two of them currently, and I also collect different skins in League of Legends/Overwatch

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

I like video chatting because I think it is such a great invention and it should be utilized at all costs #WhatATimeToBeAlive

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I’m starting to be happy with myself and being loving/forgiving of myself

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate the sound of

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

my biggest what if is “what if I didn’t exist”

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm: Jerry’s face

left arm: nothing

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

I can’t smell i am noseblind

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Neuvo Laredo, Mexico

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

Texas

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Childish Gambino tbh

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

I don’t really know but I think that IS the meaning: trying to figure it out because it’s different for everyone. I think it’s trying to bring a little more sunshine in this cloudy world

36) Define Art.

visual imagination: images from the mind 

37) Do you believe in luck?

yes i do; i also believe that i am kind of unlucky

38) What’s the weather like right now?

it’s kind of sunny

39) What time is it?

4:00p

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do drive, I’m not fond of it. I’ve never crashed but I’ve been crashed into.

41) What was the last book you read?

I am currently reading The Catalyst: Rogue One

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

no it is too strong and my nose is sensitive (don’t tell it mean things)

43) Do you have any nicknames?

gen, geny, yen, yeny, gun kuhknee, dad, nina, flaca, chiquita

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Freedom Writers

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I almost cut off an entire finger once

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yes i’ve caught many actually i used to really like bug catching as a child

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

right now i’m obsessed with sleeping and spending time with friends 

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

i was/am asexual but recently i’m learning that i am demisexual (my friends have a joke saying i’m Shanesexual)

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

probably but i don’t care enough to remember or think about it

50) Do you believe in magic?

ya i graduated from Hogwarts

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I wouldn’t call it holding a grudge: i forgive people but i never ever forget what they have done

52) What is your astrological sign?

virgo

53) Do you save money or spend it?

depends on what i want or what i need to do

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

spicy chick fil a sandwich, fries, strawberry gansito, sno-berry peace tea, and two scan trons 

55) Love or lust?

love love love

56) In a relationship?

yes i happily am in one

57) How many relationships have you had?

two and the one i’m currently in

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59) Where were you yesterday?

@ my house

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

not currently

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

nope bc i wore cute flats today that hurt my Achilles 

62) What’s your favorite animal?

sharks, rabbits, cats, foxes

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

if i had one i would have more friends :^)

64) Where is your best friend?

she’s in another town rn 

65) Spit or swallow?(;

neither

66) What is your heritage?

i am hispanic w/ mexican heritage 

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

i was finishing my math review for an exam and watching a movie with soem internet friends

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Santana

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

nope

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

the ones i have rn 

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog fuk the job i can get another one 

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I probably would only tell the one person closest to me about the situation. I would spend my remaining days with people i love and doing things i would miss. I wouldn’t be afraid.

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Waterloo - ABBA

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

0126

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust, honesty, and communication

77) How can I win your heart?

you can’t it belongs to shane, sorry

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

maybe

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

finally doing things towards my happiness

80) What size shoes do you wear?

5 ½

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“it was lit fam”

82) What is your favorite word?

pantooflas

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

shane

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

“it’s a warm up game”

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

idk the name but the last one i can remember is Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

gray, and pale yellow 

87) What is your current desktop picture?

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

nothing tbh ask away i’ll always be honest

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go to sleep 

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the power to always be right

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I think I would like to re-live the night of my first date with Shane (we went to the carnival and it was gr8)

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i think they were all important in my growth/development so none

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

hmmmm im good dude 

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Japan

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

kind of?

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no i think i would die of embarrassment 

98) Ever been on a plane?

yes but only twice

[dismissyourdoubt]

03/18/2017

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac, Self Control by Frank Ocean ft. Yung Lean and Austin Feinstein, UGH! by The 1975, Love Money Party by Miley Cyrus ft. Big Sean, Someone Like You by Adele, In My Eyes by Best Coast.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Honestly I can’t deny my love for Anderson Cooper like hi daddy

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “...time. I cover her up, then go to bed and dream.”

4) What do you think about most? Honestly, boys and work.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? It says: “wait the hoodie was more than that it was a different one i was looking at but still got it for $18 bc only 36”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I sleep with underwear on, but that’s it.

7) What’s your strangest talent? Fucking things up and pushing people away, overthinking everything.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Literally as if @ this question

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Um yeah guys actually all of Frank Ocean’s love songs are about me because we’re in love soooooo

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? As if I know

11) Do you have any strange phobias? I have a pretty bad fear of ovens? Like I’m afraid that I’ll basically either fall in or be pushed in and then burn myself and die.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? No but there’s a hilarious story about my dad sticking a pencil eraser up his nose in Catholic school and what happened when it got stuck up there...

13) What’s your religion? I don’t really follow any religion, I like certain aspects of Buddhism but I don’t know enough about it to actually consider myself a Buddhist. Sooo yeah I don’t know.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to/from the bus stop for work, because in the winter that’s really the only reason I leave the house, lmao.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it, usually... Although I film fake vlogs all the time because I think it’s so fun...

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Okay so like the way this question is phrased, I’m only considering bands, not solo artists. So... hmm... Daughter

17) What was the last lie you told? I told my dad I can’t go to a family dinner tomorrow because I have a test, he doesn’t know my driver’s license is suspended because of a speeding ticket and I don’t have it back yet...

18) Do you believe in karma? I mean, I like the idea of it. I don’t know if I necessarily believe that it actually happens.

19) What does your screen name mean? Song lyrics, from Broken by S. Carey.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is honestly my depression and the fact that I’m awful at taking care of myself; my greatest strengths are my work ethic and my intelligence.

21) Who is your celebrity crush? I mean if I had to pick just one I’d probably have to say Tom Daley... or Hunter Parrish?

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I actually don’t think I have.

23) How do you vent your anger? By texting a friend or something like that. I normally don’t get “angry” though, more just annoyed or upset.

24) Do you have a collection of anything? I have a collection of antique keys, tapestries, glass pieces and other stoner shit.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I mean honestly neither like just text me honey, it’s much easier for me that way

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? This is a good question. I look at who I was a little over a year ago, and I’ve definitely changed as a person, and the change has definitely been for the better. So, in that regard, I’m happy with the person I’ve become. At the same time, I do feel that I have such a long way to go. I want to start going back to the gym and make a lot of other changes in my life. But I’m definitely on an upward journey.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Okay I’ll just say I love the sound of Kehlani’s voice because I’m listening to her right now... And I hate the sound of babies crying.

28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I can never have a successful relationship and I end up alone?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I mean, honestly, I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be that surprised if either of them existed. So I’ll just go with yes for both.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. With my right arm, I touched the back of the couch I’m sitting on. With my left arm, I touched the wall right next to me. So exciting.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell? Oregano ;)

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Is college an answer to this question?

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast? Definitely West Coast, even though I live in Pennsylvania, I’m dying to move to California...

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? This is a hard question because there are so many queens I’ve been idolizing lately... Tinashe, Kehlani, Jhené Aiko, Beyoncé, Zara Larsson, Ariana Grande, like damn they’re all hot as hell, you know?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? As if this question isn’t gonna send me into an existential crisis.

36) Define: Art. Okay literally.

37) Do you believe in luck? I mean, yeah, I definitely think that at some points in your life you are “luckier” than you are at other points in your life. But, I think it’s entirely coincidental how much “luck” you have at any given point in time.

38) What’s the weather like right now? It’s not as cold as it’s been the past few weeks. I think it’s around 40, and it’s kind of windy/rainy, but not snowing (it was last night), so that’s good.

39) What time is it? 7:22 PM

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I drive. I’ve never been in an accident, although I did have a near-death experience driving on the parkway a few months back. It was raining and my tires started spinning out of control; I almost crashed off the side of the road and then my car swerved across both lanes of traffic and almost crashed into the middle barrier... Then somehow I regained control of the vehicle. Crazy shit. Not fun.

41) What was the last book you read? I literally don’t know. Maybe Perks of Being a Wallflower?

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? In a way, yes.

43) Do you have any nicknames? Nothing really other than Kev which is just short for Kevin.

44) What was the last movie you saw? Get Out. It was fucking wild. Especially because I went into it without having seen any trailers or anything like that... But I highly recommend.

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Ummm, I’ve never broken a bone or anything like that, so I’m honestly not sure lmfao

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? I haven’t and now I’m kind of sad that I haven’t. Like thanks for calling my attention to that.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Kehlani, I’m definitely obsessed with her right now, like without a doubt. Her and Tinashe but what else is new.

48) What’s your favorite music genre? R&B

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Of course.

50) Do you believe in magic? I mean, probably.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I try not to. I mean, when I cut someone out of my life, it’s (typically) pretty permanent. But I also understand that people change, so I’m not sitting around holding onto hatred for anyone.

52) What is your astrological sign? Capricorn

53) Do you save money or spend it? A combination of both. I make enough money that I can do that ;)

54) What’s the last thing you purchased? I spent like $400 on Amazon, oops. But that included nice chino pants, a ton of random drinks like Snapple and Diet Coke, a tiny golden statue of an elephant, you know, things I totally needed... I also bought a beginner’s dabbing kit which included a little wax container, a dabber, a carb cap, and a titanium nail, so yeah that’s cool.

55) Love or lust? This is a hard question. Like lust is so much better when it’s passionate and there are feelings (love) involved, and love can be so great but love also hurts like fuck. So I mean you know there are definitely pros and cons to both so I don’t know.

56) In a relationship? HAAAAAA AS IF

57) Are you a virgin? Nope.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope, definitely can’t do that.

59) Where were you yesterday? Work, then home, which is literally how I spend 99% of my days, so no surprise there.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? CYNTHIA IS PINK

61) Are you wearing socks right now? Nah son

62) What’s your favorite animal? The zebra. I just think they’re so beautiful and majestic and stuff.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I really don’t have one? I just act like myself and hope for the best?

64) Where is your best friend? She’s at a party with her boyfriend’s family.

66) What is your heritage? Like primarily Czechoslovakian on my dad’s side, I’m not too sure about my mom’s side, but you know I’m basically as white as they come.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping. I’m an old man so I go to bed early now.

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? This is the stupidest question ever and I’m also just noticing that question 69 is missing. And 65 was missing too. Probably others. Bish wut.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes, I’ll always listen if you need to talk about anything, I’m pretty chill and easy to get along with.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I would stop to save the dog, then explain the story to my boss. If the boss wasn’t understanding about that and honestly wanted me to leave a dog there to die, that’s probably not someone I’d want to work for anyways.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) Yes, I tell a select few. b) I travel, try different drugs, try to experience as much as possible in my last month. c) Obviously I would be afraid?

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love. Love, trust is impossible for me anyways.

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Distraction by Kehlani, current obsession

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 8108

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? There are a lot of things that make up a great relationship, I’m certainly no relationship expert but I think some of the more important of those things are mutual trust, attraction, respect, and compatibility.

77) How can I win your heart? Consistent communication, paying attention to the little things, asking how I am, stuff like that.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Absolutely.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Dropping out of traditional college and switching to an online university.

80) What size shoes do you where? YOU MEAN WEAR? 10.5 or 11.

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Ya know, my name, birthday, death date, maybe a cute little illustration, nothing too fancy, just the standard tombstone because I’m nothing too special.

82) What is your favorite word? I really don’t have an answer to this question...

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart. I thought of the song Black Heart by Carly Rae Jepsen.

84) What is a saying you say a lot? AS IF

85) What’s the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Nights by Frank Ocean my king.

86) Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors? Growing up, green was always my favorite color, like olive green. But honestly now I’m more into the blues? And obviously black.

87) What is your current desktop picture? It’s like a scenic portrait of a mountain and a sunset.

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Donald Trump. Am I going to get arrested for typing that?

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Honestly ask me anything, I’m not afraid to tell the truth, haha.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? I really wonder how stoned the person was who wrote this survey...

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Ability to read minds! Or invisibility. Yeah I’d actually probably like invisibility the best.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I just erase the entirety of 2015?

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? FRANK OCEAN

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Somewhere in California or Hawaii. Or maybe I should leave the country and go somewhere nice in Europe like Amsterdam.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail? No I don’t.

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? I never have.

98) Ever been on a plane? Yeah, like three or four times.