#um hope y’all are as insane about this as I am lol

[binglepringle]

Cass pony

Remember that one episode where it turns out Fluttershy is secretly this vampire bat creature? Yeah her too

[platinumrosetail]

Book request

Yandere lmk x magi hinahoho twin reader

So it was during a fight in a Storm and fighting a enymy and she fall into the lyunreth the other and her brothers try to find it

She go though the lybresth against the enemy and win ( now for this it goin be water and plant powers cuz I don't know what else do she like yuni oni)

So her wepon was a a beautiful LOUTS flower pendeite

And when she won it her enyms in rage did a attacking but the labyrinth didn't like that and sent him out but gave the reader a extra reward for being kinda ( or punsmet lol)

So she gets sent to the lmk and she changes a little bit she still tall and buff but has LOUTS flower looks and her hair like a beautiful LOUTS poud and her smki like water and other stuff basically she look like a LOUTS godsse and she fall into the lmk world try to find a away back home and help her friends who she doesn't know don't want her to go and fell in love with her

I’m guessing you mean one with text for the conversation, “” this is what I meant but I’ll try my beast with this so I hope you like it! 😁

Warning: noob author, dark theme, yandere romantic characters, female!reader, and others.

Characters: various males.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

( fair warning, since your didn’t seem to have specify how far you wanted it to go I’ll just do 2 episodes of season one to help at least hopefully make it into a long post, and I’ll try to have the characters and reader have conversations, ain’t no guarantee but I’ll make sure to at least try and do that. 😅😁)

You wake up to bricking in a whisper like tone that you can only make out a few bits of; like “Who is she?”, “How is she as tall as sandy?” Which was random for you to hear cause most people would know how you’re so tall except for children of course and you also don’t know who this sandy person is.

“Um… who are you people and where am I?” I ask to the people in the room that was turned away from me though when I had spoken that seem to have alerted them on how I’m awake now.

“Oh! I’m mk, this is mei, pigsy, tang-” this ‘mk’ kid was interrupted by a pink pig like man.

“Kid! We don’t know if she’s a threat or not! So don’t go introducing us to her so easily!” He scolded the boy. I sweatdrop but understand the possible skepticism.

“ooh, but pigsy she seems like a nice person, plus we found her all alone and she could be like sandy all big but in reality a sweetheart.” Mk tries to justify which made pigsy groan before relenting.

“Fine!” Then he turns to me. “But if you do anything to mk and the others I’ll make sure you wished you were never born.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you for allowing me to stay here.” I thanked him politely.

after everything got settled with how i’m ging to sleep and how things run i began working for pigdy with mk and getting to know them all.

it wasn’t long for their supposed mayor and leader of this city to come visit the shop which i had found a bit weird and suspicious on how he came here all of the sudden.

the mayor spoke a few words to mk and creepily said “cause i’m the mayor!”  very loud with an insane look.he looks at me before he left and i got a chill as he does so.

when he was out of my vision i could still feel his eyes on me even if he isn’t there anymore.

“that was one weird mayor.” i say as i look back to where he left just to make sure he wasn’t actually there watching me with hios insane eyes of his.

“ehhh, he’s been mayor for a good long while so i wouldn’t worry about it, he’s done some good things to this city plus he usually not out of his office most of the time so if you’re uncomfortable then you’ll won’t be seeing much of him that much anyway.” mei says trying to ease my worries which helped with what it could.

“ok, i guess i’ll have to take your word for it as y’all been in this city longer than i have.”

“yea! and since i got this open to anything key from the mayor let’s test it out shall we!” mk suggested.

i worry they’ll get in trouble so i go with them just in case.

that worry was very much justified. mk and mei began opening a lot of things, some was things you shouldn’t open while others are things were empty thankfully.

mk even got a bright idea to put it to his head to see what would happen, i don’t know what had happened but it must’ve been something.

though soon after this red like person came in and demanded that we handed over the key, not likely as it might be used for something no good and would put many people in danger plus they seem to know him and don’t have a good history with the red boy.

all three of us battled the red boy until his own mother decided to join in on the fun of this battle.

sadly they now have the key to anything, which most definitely won’t be used to unlock any pet stores to see any puppies or cats.

we couldn’t get the key back so we just had to leave it at that, plus we can most likely defeat whatever comes at us for if it is being used by red boy, who i now know is called redson family.

What I didn’t know is that I seemed to have sparked a interest in redson.

mk was over at his mentor; monkey king’s place training and stuff when it happened. we had to faced this big shadow likle being that suspiciously looked like a monkey.

“shouldn’t we wait for mk?!” i asked mei as we all fail to defeat the purple and dark theme monkey beast.

“ehhh, i think we can handle it and if not then we’ll call  mk over to help.” i sigh before deciding to go help the bystanders to a safer place away from here not noticing or taking in account that i’m being watched.

after heling the bystanders, i soon joined up with the others and help them take down the monkey beast.

.

.

.

“we should really call mk over now.” i say to mei as the beast took down the others and us which she finally agreed on doing thankfully.

(i’m doing this by memory so some things might be wrong than in the actual episode so please bare with me, thank you.)

It oddly enough wasn’t mk who defeated the monkey beast but a shadowy figure that also looked like a monkey; I wonder if that’s the famous monkey king.

“He that’s monkey king!!” Mk exclaimed before grabbing me and rushing off to his supposed monkey mentor. “He can finally meet you now, (Y/N)!”

“Hey, monkey king! I’d like for you to meet a new- wait you’re not monkey king…” mk stopped himself when he noticed the differences between monkey king and this newcomer.

“Uh- yea i get that a lot.” This new monkey squatted before introducing himself to mk and me. “But my name is macaque, six eared macaque actually.”

I was skeptical as tang never really mentioned about this sized eared macaque before or he musta forgot, that could be it and I’m just overreacting on this monkey fellow.

Mk started training with this new monkey acquaintances of ours as monkey king; i don’t really think this would be a good idea plus the advice that is most definitely not good advice coming from this dark monkey named macaque.

I sadly can’t really say anything as mk seem to get more dark than he actually is and that could react very bad on my end as well as make a scene but i do make sure to give him silent support here and there.

Though this feeling i had gotten proved to be correct about macaque being someone we couldn’t trust.

Macaque had betrayed mk and was truly after monkey king’s powers that was inherited from him to mk

I decided to help mk out as I had followed the two to were this beast was which was not some random dwelling beast but in fact a power of macaque that he had used to i guess have mk lured out so they can get buddy-buddy with each other to get macaques plan in motion.

“Spirit of nature and life dwell in my body and in case me into natures will, buer!” i chanted which had light in case my body turning my body.

Me and macaque started fighting each other as mk was busy trying to get himself unstuck from where he was trapped by his staff. Monkey king soon came in som show and is now helping me defeat macaque.

It was a difficult battle but we finally became victorious in it and mk even was able to help and get his powers back with encouragement words by monkey king which allowed mk to get his staff from keeping in place.

“Oh! Monkey king!! I would like for your to meet a new friend of mine, (Y/n)!!’ I look down art the monkey before giving my hand out for as handshake with the monkey king who also introduced himself.

“H-hi! Hi! Nice to meet another one of buds friends. You can call me sun wukong or just sun if you want, b-but monkey king is also aright, too!!” Sun blabbed on making me chuckle at his nervousness that is never thought he would have.

“Well it’s nice to meet you as well, as mk said my name is (Y/n).” I reintroduced myself for myself this time before me and mk headed i off to pigsy’s shop.

What i didn’t know is that every man i meet from here on out was going to gain a obsession with me and would like to keep me to themselves.

(A/n: hello!!! Hoped you liked it!!!! I don’t usually make things like this so i hope i did alright and hoped y’all liked it!! And this will be my big break of taking request for a long while, I’ll still post but for my little ideas and stuff and I’ll also be busy on Wattpad with updating my books so i won’t take any request for a long while until i see fit it’s time to start doing requests again. Also I’m burned out on lmk request so i won’t be doing those as much as you’d probably hoped for when i do post on here so please keep that in mind and even then when i do open my request again i would like for some of those request to not be of lmk as i want y’all to understand that i don’t just only do lmk ands know that lmk request would most likely burn me out so i hope y’all can understand that and hope y’all have a wonderful dayevening/night!!!)

[ponds-of-ink]

Gushing away, don’t mind me—

Okay, gonna ramble about @rowan-of-the-ravenwood’s WillyNillyNonsense art again. I hope these remarks make some sense to y’all, because A A A I’m flying by the seat of my pants with the power of hype.

First things first. We open up with my in-character ask that basically is just “Hey Rowan how’s about you draw my William for fun? (And Glitchtrap… quit hijacking other blogs pls. K thx.)”

Rowan’s first drawing/response is this.

That h e a d t i l t. The unnerving p o s e and e x p r e s s i o n. The overlapping line-art to show Glitchtrap’s control over Rowan’s OC— Dude, what an opening shot.

And we’ve only just started!

The “camera” cuts over to another character‘s reaction to this rabbit’s little… um… “answer”? And you’d think it’d be me/Humanized Pond Creature because I sent the ask, but no!

It’s William himself— But with new digs! :0 In case you wanted to know about how I reacted (and what WN!William looks like, my style-wise), welllp…

Like… B R U H. If I mastered the art of keyboard smashing, I’d be doing it a whole bunch rn. Will looks so GOOD in this style!! And the expression here is great too!! Really nails the vibe of ”Oh no, my ’Hyde’ has come to play”. (The suit actually helps lol)

Oh yea, speaking of Jekyll and Hyde-energy…

Here he is! Glitchtrap in the same artstyle!! I especially love both the poses lining up with the waving hand. Like that’s the only part of the OC Glitch is controlling before letting go. I can sense Rowan’s OC about to thunk to the floor from that posture alone. And, of course, the expressions are top notch on both.

Finally, free from moving Rowan’s OC about, Glitchtrap meets back up with William. What follows not only sums up their current relationship dynamic in the blog, but also gives off Confrontation from Jekyll and Hyde vibes.

Their outfits kind of match! And Glitchtrap has little ”glitches” indicated by smears! The detail is insane! :0 (Also William looks so done lol. I love it).

TLDR: Rowan not only nailed the characters, but also the creepy FNAF/Jekyll and Hyde vibes… Despite not doing FNAF beforehand apparently. I am smitten with this art piece, send help to me and lots of love to @rowan-of-the-ravenwood/@rowan-ravenwood-art.

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 32 arrives! It’s, I gotta say, quite an improvement on what we’ve had lately. Quite an improvement. Even so, it’s nothing that’s gonna rock the world... but hey, I was so desperate for something different to happen that y’know what, I’ll take it.

Pic of the week:

A Digimon who just wants to roll around in the grass. Go’way, baddies.

More below!

So as you probably gather... we start with Takeru this week! Haha! Good riddance Taichi! I luv ya but I’ve had enough of ya! Take a break!

jk I totally missed him the whole thirty seconds he wasn’t on screen

Takeru and Patamon are running for their lives, of course! Patamon makes a valiant effort to evolve to protect Takeru but...

... Poor baby. He gave it the ol’ college try but he just ain’t as young as he used to be.

Things look grim until Komondomon shows up with a creepy disembodied hand sticking out of his fur!

Phew, it’s just Sora. Her brilliant plan to rescue Takeru is to grab his arm and drag him along with them... I mean... sure... Whiplash has been proven Not A Thing in this universe so...

After getting rid of their pursuer, the group checks in with the others. I’m reminded of how silly separations feel when you can just communicate with each other by walkie-talkie. Yamato’s been riding Garurumon for a long time now lol. At least we got to see him...

He sweetly encourages Takeru and tells him the best thing he can do to help Patamon with his evolution issues is be there to support him. Then he tells Taichi “I leave Takeru in your case.” Ok sure, like Sora’s not right there...

Taichi: In my care? Should I point out that I already lost one little sibling to the dark side? Nah...

Seriously, though... that’s the current situation. Taichi is actively going over SkullKnightmon to get Hikari back. If Takeru stays with him that just means Takeru gets to go into danger again too. Of course, it seems that the dark side is suddenly uninterested in Takeru and Patamon so... I guess it’s okay 9_9

We then check in with Mimi! Who is being her awesome Mimi-tastic self. Ugh I love her.

Wondered what happened to Golemon. Turns out there was nothing much to worry about because no one loves a macho boxing match like Tachikawa Mimi. If there’s ever a season where these kids grow up, I hope Mimi is like, a big fan of sumo or something.

Taichi: O... kay... well... Mimi sure is... an intersting person...

Agumon: Hey you should make her your girlfriend!

Taichi: what nOOO BAD IDEA ABORT ABORT

Meanwhile, the situation with Jou is, um, questionable to say the least...

(how is keeping that towel on)

Jou: HEEEEELP!!!

Taichi: ... you didn’t hear anything, did you? Me neither. *closes link*

Finally we check in with Koushirou. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what he says. -__-;

At least we see him get bombed a bit. He’s okay though.

Meanwhile unconscious Patamon gets a visitor from baby angel Lopmon, who tells him about hist lost memories.

He adds that the other legendary warriors have lost their power and it’s up to Patamon and his bond with Takeru to save the world more or less.

He encourages Patamon to find his hope.

Patamon: Who am I? What am I? All before me is dark. I know not what path to take.

The others, having nothing better to do, peep on Patamon’s crisis of faith.

Takeru relates a story about learning to swim and being scared of the water, but Yamato stayed with him so eventually he was able to learn to do it. Aww. Not quite comparable to Hikari’s “I wet the bed and Taichi changed the sheets and then told our parents that he was the one that did it” from the 99 series but still pretty good.

The sweet moment is interrupted by a flash of light! Then dark! Then light! Then dark!

It’s another scary Digimon! Oh dear. It’s Kerberomon. A three-headed Cerberus as I’m sure you figured out. Once again, this show does not how to convey what the stakes are. After everything we’ve been through, it’s hard to take random nobody Digimon as serious as each episode wants us to take them... but it’s obvious from the build up here that Kerberomon’s going to be tough to beat for Reasons.

Greymon gets hit and says, “I let down my guard!” MAYBE DON’T DO THAT THEN

Also it is very windy.

Le ouch. This is the Digimon from earlier whose name I forgot to take down. He’s come back with his friend...

... Scarier-in-the-dark-mon.

They’re surrounded~ Oh noes and whatnot.

Taichi is a bit cool here, clinging to Komondomon’s helmet and directing the battle like a war general. Mostly he’s telling them how to avoid getting hit by Kerberomon’s powerful attacks but I like that we get to see him using his head like this.

What I think is happening here is, Komondomon isn’t as fast as the kids could be if they were on their own, so their speed is hampered and that plus the number of assailants makes this battle tough. I am sure we’re supposed to assume that the reason WarGreymon doesn’t appear is because it takes a lot of energy to bring him out, even though last time he appeared twice in the same episode -.-;

Sora decides to be useful and goes to help Takeru get to safety.

... She is immediately struck by an attack and collapses, badly hurt somehow. This is so dumb. First of all, they don’t even animate her getting hit. There’s a flash and then she’s down. She should at least get to throw herself over Takeru protectively or something. Geez. 90s anime did it so much better. She’s just standing there and gets hit. What, did she forget there was a battle raging around her?

Second, WE ALREADY HAD DAMSEL IN DISTRESS SORA. It was Jou’s motivation to be cool way back when this show was rather more interesting than it has been of late. Why do the boys need Sora to get SERIOUSLY INJURED to be able to fight?? WHY?? Like, Taichi gets caught in the line of fire ALL THE TIME, but he never gets injured to the point where he can’t continue on. (Except for that one time with Devimon but those were exceptional circumstances!)

Like, why are we making Sora so weak?? This is so unnecessary.

I guess Yamato was right by entrusting Takeru to Taichi instead of Sora though...

... Uhhh.... never mind X’D

Taichi: Whew... m-maybe no one saw that...

Our be-bibbed god reappears to offer sage advice.

Patamon recalls his final moments as Seraphimon... being enveloped into darkness.

This is cool - we see his angelic wings turn to demon ones briefly before he slides back to lower levels. Not sure if it means anything but we have been theorizing that Patamon could still be infected by the evil that wounded him in the past.

Patamon then recalls things that happened after he was reborn and I’m reminded for the billionth time how much harder the emotions around Angemon’s death hit in the 99 show...

Suddenly Patamon realizes - his hope is Takeru, and he is Takeru’s hope.

The boys put on their game faces. This is what I mean by Sora really didn’t need to get hurt here. I get that it gives Takeru a reason to be protective, but the thing that evolves Patamon is Patamon’s feelings, the same way Agumon’s feelings were what rescued them from Devimon etc. That’s an interesting thing about this show - the Digimon’s feelings seem as important to evolution as, if not more than, the kids’.

Patamon evolves!! Very creepily! But... not to Angemon!

He becomes Pegasusmon! Who... looks a lot bigger than I remember, even considering Takeru is very small... xD

So this is pretty cool! I’ve been wondering how on earth the show was gonna keep introducing evolutions after already using up so many key players, especially for Taichi. But it looks like Armor Digimon can appear, and that makes me think that we could see all kinds of evolutions for the entire team that we’ve never seen before. I like that idea, but I don’t really know if this show has time for it. Maybe it will just be Pegasusmon and Nefertimon who are available to Takeru and Hikari so the writers can preserve the angels for the most epic moments only. That seems the most likely way things will go here, and the only qualm I have with it is, they’ve played all of Taichi’s cards already, and he’s the main character. He has to have something else in the future...

He attac!!!!

Kerberomon doesn’t last long, although why is wholly inexplicable. What about Pegasusmon gives him the edge when MetalGreymon and Garudamon couldn’t handle it? Is it because he’s an Armor Digimon? That may be it but the show doesn’t bother to explain.

Another thing I’d love to see, if there are gonna be more than just one evolutionary tree for the partners, is the kids actually strategizing when they decide which evolution to use. One of the cool parts of Tamers was the kids actively supporting their partner with skill as well as heart. I don’t think that’s gonna happen in this season, but you know, a girl can dream.

Takeru: Hurray for murder!

The three Digimon work together to put the lid on Kerberomon. Garudamon has the coolest moment. Squash.

Taichi checks on Sora who seems fine now. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Aw, but these two really are adorable.

What a sweet ending card T_T I want more of these.

Okay so yeah, this episode was a much needed upper after the stream of “watch Taichi fight random forgettable monsters” episodes we’ve had lately. I’m glad we got it. I still, just, like, why can’t they get the emotional build up right?? I wouldn’t say 99 Adventure did anything insanely unusual in how it treated the various crises the kids faced, but it def did a better job than this show. In 99, they understood the importance of moments of reflection, of talking about things, of showing expressions and how other characters react... And I still feel like this reboot DID do that, at least somewhat better, in the beginning. Like what went down between Yamato and Taichi after Ogremon was killed. That was pretty good.

They’ve totally lost what makes Digimon great. I hope this episode is a sign that they’re gonna take it back, but, my heart just hearts y’all.

Next episode... I’m rather surprised since we are REALLY overdue some face time with Yamato, not to mention Mimi and Jou, but apparently we’re sticking with Taichi. At least it looks lke we’ll get some new plot stuff related to Hikari.

If this all leads up to something that makes sense, I will retract all my complaints, I swear. Except about the gratuitous nonstop fighting. But the rest, I will take back.

Taichi’s determined!! This is Digimon Adventure! Let’s go on a freaking adventure!!

[yikesharringrove]

So, I had this idea, but I'm not really good with writing Harringrove, so I thought I could share it with u. A modern au where Steve nd Billy are streamers in L.A. Like, maybe Billys a gaming streamer nd Steve is a v chill streamer nd basically half of their live streams consist of Steve sitting in Billys lap nd the two of them cuddling while just talking nd one day they get a donation question like, "Are the two of u dating wtf" nd they just go "duh" also. femme/nonbinary steve

I love the idea of Steve being jenna marbles-esque, just like sweet and kinda weird and super loved.

And y’all know my love for nb Steve.

Based loosely on this post. Mainly just the gif.

Watch me make up twitter handles lol

This is v soft and includes many of my headcanons for these two living their lovely modern lives.

-

“Bill!”

Steve was yowling like a damn cat out in the kitchen, interrupting Billy’s stream. “Billy!”

“Stevie! I’m streamin’, Baby!” Hear could hear Steve’s feet plodding down the hall. The chat started going crazy as they appeared in the stream behind Billy, wearing a too-big sweater, thick wool socks on those perpetually cold little feet. Their hair was a fucking mess, and they were wearing their glasses, the big ones Billy loved.

They climbed on Billy’s lap, settling their face into his neck.

“What’s up?”

“Just wanted some lovin’.” Steve’s voice was soft, but they always put their face on the side Billy’s headset mic was on and the audience would go wild over the quiet things they said. Billy rubbed their back before going back to his game.

“Everyone welcome Stevie to the stream.”

He kept playing as usual, Steve a warm little puddle in his lap.

“Okay, Babes. I’m signing off for today, Steve is definitely asleep on me right now and I gotta put them to bed. Love you all, stay safe.” He had to awkwardly shuffle Steve around in his lap to turn off the stream, picking them up to take them to the room across the hall.

They had gotten a two bedroom when they were still friends, pretending they weren’t fucking in love with each other. They had moved into the bedroom formerly known as Steve’s, setting up Billy’s old room for streaming and video editing.

Steve snuffled as Billy took off their glasses, sliding into bed behind them.

-

Steve was sitting on the floor, laughing at the monitor.

They had been doing a series of Quarantine Madness videos, doing crafts and silly makeup tutorials.

They were currently trying temporary hairdye, had their hair sticking up in all directions.

“This is so fucking stupid, oh my god.” They had electric pink in their hair, Billy had gotten roped into it with dark blue.

“If you destroy my hair for YouTube hits, I’m gonna cry.” Steve had their thin fingers in his hair, rubbing the dye in.

“Oh, worse comes to worse you get ridda that fucking mullet.”

“You love this mullet. It’s my trademark.” Billy’s hair wasn’t supposed to be a mullet, was originally a shag that had grown in weird, but Billy had become known for it, and he had kinda grown to like it.

“The whole premise of this video is to get you to shave your head.” Billy laughed. “Okay, so we gotta wait like twenty minutes and then we gotta wash it out.” They looked at memes while they waited, figured Steve would edit all this waiting out of the video anyway.

They washed the dye out in the sink, scrubbing at one another’s heads before getting in the shower to clean off the patches on their skin.

They ended up getting a little distracted in the shower.

Steve had blow dried both their hair to see the color. The pink was subtle in Steve’s dark hair, the highlights they had gotten a few weeks before quarantine picking up more of the color.

Billy’s hair was bright fucking blue, and neither of them could stop laughing at it.

“I kinda, kinda love it on you, Bill.” Steve was brushing their fingers through Billy’s hair, making him lean into the touch like a damn cat.

The video ended up being wildly popular.

-

“So, you all tweeted us some questions, and we’re gonna answer them over live stream. We each picked a bunch to pose to one another, so yeah.” Steve shrugged. “Billy, @.DustinHendy wants to know why you’re such a little bitch.” Billy cackled, planting his face into Steve’s shoulder.

“Tell Dustin he’s a little garbage human.” Billy winked at the camera, making the comments along the side of the screen go crazy. “Um, I thought this question was interesting, @.llittlebug says: you two are so touchy. Are you together, or are you just close friends? We’re gal pals, actually.” Steve laughed, loud and bright.

“Two bros chillin’ in the hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause we’re not gay.” Steve sang, making them both crack up.

“Yeah, we’re very much in a relationship, have been for four years now.” Steve was giving him that soft smile Billy loved so much. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to that sweet little mouth. The chat was going insane, people sending comments along the lines of I knew it! and so happy for you both!

Steve’s cheeks were flushed.

“So, uh @.bigyikes asks, how did you two meet? Well actually, we went to high school together, and fucking hated each other when we first met, got in a big fight, worked our shit out became friends, moved in together, and fell in love like big dumb losers.”

“So bold of you to claim I ever hated you. I literally was fucking in love with them from the first time I ever saw them but I was, uh, going through a lot, and was kind of the worst back then.” Steve’s arm was on his shoulder, playing with the long hair by his neck.

“You’ve gotten so much better. And I’m proud of you.” Billy planted a kiss to their forehead.

“Next question before I fucking cry, @.imaloser wants to know our sexualities and gender expressions. I mean, you’ve been plenty open about all that.”

“Well, yeah. I’m pansexual and agender, which is under the nonbinary umbrella, but I like to typically present femme. And I use they pronouns, most of you know that, of course. I’m pretty open.” They turned big eyes on Billy.

“These days, I just identify as queer. I’ve always identified as a gay man, but I haven’t dated a guy in a long fuckin’ time.” Steve curled into his side.

“It’s been a learning process for both of us. I mean Billy’s the first person I dated seriously after I came out, and there was just a part of me that felt lowkey misgendered every time he said he was gay.”

“Oh, there was a lot of learning in those early days for sure. And I think we’re both still doing that. I hope I am.” Steve poked his stomach.

“You’re good to me, Bill.” There was a slew of sweet comments in the live stream.

“@.folks asks when did you get into makeup?” He turned to Steve.

“Growing up, most of my friends were girls, and I just always loved playing dress up, and getting make overs. When I was like, fourteen I think, I started playing with makeup myself, learning from YouTube tutorials, and just like, messing around with stuff. I always loved just feeling really pretty, so that’s why-” they gestured at themself, one of Billy’s shirts tucked into old worn out jeans, soft white cardigan. They had put on a full face of makeup for the stream.

“I think you’re the prettiest.” Steve laughed, headbutting Billy’s shoulder.

“Okay, so @.imstruggling wants to know who’s a better cook.” Steve turned dramatically to the camera. “Me, bitch!”

[dc41896]

You Again (3)

Ok so as y’all have probably noticed I’ve been very much in my Chris feels lately and I just want to apologize really quick for the spam lol. Eventually the stories for him won’t be as frequent, however when that will be idk 😅. Hopefully you guys don’t mind though and again sorry for the spam!

Pairing: fratboi!Chris EvansxBlack Reader

⚠️: None💕!

“Ok so we talked about the basics like position and function, now I think we should add if there’s any diseases that affect it or what could happen if it’s damaged like with Phineas Gage and the iron rod,” Chris explains taking turns looking between you and his laptop screen.

“Oh, um yea that sounds good,” you respond slightly caught off guard from how well everything was currently going. You had your notes lying in front of you to make sure you were putting the correct information on the slides, but you honestly didn’t need them from Chris recalling everything, word for word, from memory as if he was a human textbook.

“What, surprised that I actually know something sweetheart?”

“No, I know you’re smart and have since we were little it’s just...you say and do dumb stuff sometimes, which can make some question that.”

Chuckling as he places his hand over his chest; you find yourself giggling as you’re immediately brought back to when you were kids. Even then, you thought his laugh was adorable and even tried to copy it, which Chris took the wrong way and thought you were making fun of him.

It was your first fight and you practically begged him as tears streamed down your face to understand that it was a good thing.

Seeing you cry then made him cry, and of course after hearing about two distraught kids on the playground, your teacher took both of you aside to try to figure out what happened. Long story short, it was a very eventful recess.

“Wris sing!,” his niece, Alana, excitedly announces running up to her uncle’s leg.

“Not right now Stink I’m working on something ok? Maybe later.”

“Tay,” she sighs, disappointment over her face as Chris picks her up to rest her head on his shoulder while he continues to type.

“Wait sing? You sing?” Sitting back in your seat with arms crossed over your chest, an amused expression covers your face.

“I mean not on the regular, she just likes this song and wants people to sing it with her so I’ll do it sometimes. But we’re working now so don’t get your hopes up about a full routine.”

“Actually I think we deserve a little break from all this excruciating work we’ve done. Don’t you Alana?”

“Yea!! Wris sing!”

“Yea c’mon Wris,” you smirk as she pulls his hand towards the play room. A large sigh escaping his pink lips, his eyes stay glued to you for a few extra seconds as if thinking of something before smiling at his niece as he stands from his chair to follow behind.

“You know what? Why don’t we have Y/N sing with us too?”

“Yay!!”

“Oh no, you don’t want to hear me sing. I’m sure you’d rather want your uncle.”

“Nonsense! The more the merrier right Stink?” Grabbing your hand, he leads you to the light pink playroom littered with various toys along the cream colored carpeted floor and books perched on white shelves lining the wall.

Turning on the small circular speaker sat on one of the shelves, upbeat music begins to fill the room as she bounces up and down clapping her hands. Walking up to his niece as he sings, he takes her small hand and twirls her around making her giggle.

“I'm telling you, darling

The minute you're calling

I'll be there in a hurry,

No matter how far

It could be to the stars

Yeah, I'll be there, don't you worry,

With you I stay fly

To the sky

With you I stay fly

To the sky”

Smiling as you watch them dance, you don’t know what surprises you more the fact that he actually sounded decent or that he was capable of doing something so cute and not annoying for once. Skipping over to you, Alana grabs your fingers pulling you over to their small group.

“Dance too!,” she giggles joining your hand with Chris’ as she holds onto both of your free hands making a circle with the three of you.

Lightly twisting along with her, all that can be heard over the music is all of your laughter and the occasional small thumping of her tiny feet hitting the floor after you and Chris lift her in the air.

Bending down, he picks Alana up holding her on one arm before twirling you with the other while she excitedly squeals. Making your way back around to face him, you momentarily lose your balance causing your body to press against his as you try to avoid stumbling.

“Careful sweetheart. You know you were always a bit clumsy,” he smirks making you roll your eyes before laughing at yourself.

“And what’s going on here?,” a voice asks from the doorway startling the both of you.

“Mommy!” Running up to the woman with similar features to Chris, Alana jumps into her arms kissing her on the cheek.

“Hey sweetie! Did you have fun with your uncle and his friend?”

“Sarah this is Y/N, we’re working on a project together so I invited her over.”

“Wait Y/N?! Oh my gosh it’s been so long!,” she smiles walking over to where you and Chris were standing. “I remember when you were a little girl playing with this pain over here. How’ve you been?”

“Good, just ready to graduate and be done with school.”

“Yea I bet, but you guys only have a month left so you’ll be done before you know it. Do you know what you want to do after?”

“Yea I’m hoping to be a nurse in the hospital or one of the clinics but then again we’ll see what happens.”

“Juice pwease!,” Alana interrupts with a smile making the three of you giggle.

“Alright sweetie it’s coming up. Were you guys gonna stay for dinner?”

“Nah maybe next time, I got a meeting to go to in a couple hours so we should get going. Bye stink!,” he answers tickling her sides. “Bye adult stink.”

“Be glad I’m holding a child right now,” she glares smacking his arm as he laughs. “Bye Y/N it was nice seeing you again and good luck with everything!”

“Bye pwetty!!,” Alana adds waving her hand.

“Thanks Sarah and bye Alana! Be good ok? Unless you’re with your uncle Chris then do whatever you want,” you smile making both of them giggle as Chris rolls his eyes.

———

“Trying out for Fast and Furious 13 are we?,” you ask as you enter the restaurant.

“Calm down I wasn’t going that fast.”

“Your foot was pressed so hard on the pedal I thought it was gonna go through the floor and you’d run the car yourself like Fred Flinstone.”

“And yet we still made it safe so you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about it sweetheart,” he smirks following you to the register.

“Aww look at you two! Me and my Harold fuss like that all the time,” a middle aged woman with glasses sitting at the bar smiles. “How long have you been dating?”

“Oh we’re-,”

“Six months and 10 days. But it feels longer which is crazy,” he interrupts putting an arm around your shoulders.

“Well I wish you guys many more months of happiness, and might I add you are a beautiful couple.”

“Thank you! I hope so too because heaven knows how I’d be if I lost her.”

“Yea I’d hate to be without him,” you fake smile as he kisses your temple. Collecting the last of her things, she hangs her purse on her shoulder before giving you both a final wave as she walks out the door.

“New rule,” you speak elbowing him in the side causing a small grunt to escape his lips before he chuckles. “Never do any of what you just did again. Now I need to disinfect my face when I get back to the room.”

“Jeez so violent,” he smirks rubbing his side. “This is how you show appreciation when I’m treating you to food?”

“Correction you treated me to a ride, but I can pay for myself.”

“I know you can, I’m just trying to pay you back for helping.”

“And I appreciate that but there’s no argument, I can get my own food,” you sarcastically smile.

“Yea there wasn’t an argument until you started one, like always,” he answers copying your expression.

“I don’t always start arguments-,”

“Oh my gosh Chris hi!” Turning towards the register, you see a familiar looking slender girl around your age carrying two red cups. Red hair pulled up in a ponytail, she rushes around the counter excitedly smiling as she places the cups down before wrapping her arms around his neck giving him a quick, yet very extra, hug. “That pool party was insane!”

“Ahh that’s where I’ve seen her from,” you thought as you stood listening to their conversation.

“I know right, we definitely gotta have another one soon. Oh Jessica this is Y/N, Y/N this is Jessica, you guys have probably seen each other around campus.”

“Yea I think I’ve-,”

“Hmm no I don’t think so, but anyway yes to another one!,” she interrupts immediately directing her attention back to Chris and making you silently laugh to yourself in disbelief. “Especially towards the end of the semester like maybe even after graduation!”

“You know that’s a good idea, I’ll talk to the boys about it and see what they say.”

“If it’s coming from you I’m sure they’ll say yes. Just make sure I’m invited.”

“Of course!,” he smiles making her blush as she twirls her hair with her index finger. Making eye contact with someone behind you, she removes herself from her trance before picking up the two cups now saturated with dew.

“Excuse me, I have to take these to a table really quick. I’ll take your order when I get back,” she smiles as she passes the both of you, purposely leaning more into Chris so she could graze her arm against his.

“Well she was nice,” you speak sitting in one of the empty barstools as you wait for her to return.

“Am I sensing a bit of jealousy?,” he asks propping one foot on the lower bar of your stool as he grabs the back railing, fingertips occasionally touching your back.

“You know what, yes I am jealous. Of the fact that she doesn’t have to be near you right now while I’m stuck here looking at your face.”

“First stalking now staring at my face?! I have to say I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be because I definitely have not, and will not, do any of those. Now I’m sure your little flirt buddy back there would happily do those for you.”

“I was not flirting, that was called being nice and charming.”

“Oh please, I was just about to ask should I leave with all her hair twirling and your ‘of course you’re invited, why wouldn’t I invite all available girls in the state?’,” you mock immitating both of their voices while scrolling through Instagram.

“Clearly you don’t know how flirting works so why don’t I demonstrate on you then?”

Looking up from your phone you’re met with crystal blue eyes peering down at you making you realize just how close you two actually were.

Inches from his chest, it was almost as if you could feel his cologne radiate off his skin with the slightest movement he’d make. His gaze becoming more intense the longer your eyes are locked together, it feels like you’ve been that way for minutes instead of only a few seconds as you slightly shift in your seat.

Even trying to talk now seemed impossible from your throat feeling like the Sahara desert at high noon.

“Huh would you look at that, she doesn’t have a comeback,” he smirks turning his attention from you to the sports headlines from ESPN scrolling across the television mounted high in the corner.

And just like that, Christopher “Party King” Evans had left you dumbfounded after taking away your power of always having the last word.

Taglist: @secretmysteriousperson @crushed-pink-petals @honeychicana @fumbling-fanfics @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @itshinothey @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged but don’t see your name, only wants to be tagged for certain people I write for, or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#32)

5x09 ahhh my heart is singing for Chicago!Matt already

recap/flailing under the cut:

Ah it makes sense that East Dillon fell apart and ruined their undefeated record after the way that last episode went!

“Really??” As Jess and the maintenance workers are still cleaning up they turn off the lights??? No respect!

Ahhh they’re showing Luke and Vince arguing in the locker room interspersed with the actual game? This show is magic.

Eric found them arguing and kicked them out the field house lol

“That wasn’t a team out there, folks, it was a bunch of individuals trying...” fitting last radio sound byte before Eric throws the radio in the trash lol

OMG MATTS CHICAGO APT IS SO CUTE AND ADULT AND GROWN UP. He’s folding a blanket??? Fuck me up

She stayed all weekend and doesn’t want to leave?! Ok ok I see y’all but that does seem a little irresponsible, Julie.

Is Matt wearing a live strong bracelet? Lol sign of the times

“Look, we all know the problem: it’s Vince, he’s lost his team.” Ooooh good line to go into the theme song on!

“I suck at Texas history.” IS THAT AN ACTUAL CLASS IN TEXAS???? STOP IT. Stop it right now!!! This cannot be real!

“Baby boy is graduating, it’s the last time they’ll see me in the little lions uniform.” LOL Becky and Luke are cute

Ew it sucks that Luke can’t invite Becky out after this last home game with his parents but also who would want to go to dinner with his trash mom sooo I’m conflicted.

Eric wants Luke on QB today?! well then

Oh god Mindy feels like she’s gonna puke?? Oh no is she pregnant again??

“I could take your shift.” Oh Beckyyyy and Mindy is like, no no no lol

I cringe every time Vince’s dad talks to him about football. His mom seems to be cringing too in the corner...

Becky looks really cute waiting tables but yeeeesh she’s a teenage girl and a fully grown man is putting a dollar in her undies. Yikes! Although once she counted that $$$ she was like I AM WOMAN I AM POWER lol

Eric and Tami’s little walk and talks in school are so precious

Awww Becky used her tip money to get Luke a gift to wear to his dinner? “You know I get it because she kinda freaks me out too but you didn’t do anything about it.” Yeah that about sums it up.

Wtf Vince is turning on Jess now too?? She’s appropriately angry! “Yeah cause it’s never Vince’s fault huh? I can’t believe you! You’re really trying to blame me for coach being mad at you?” Ooooh she said it.

OH SHIT did Jess just dump Vince’s ass?

Aw Epyck being good with Gracie is so cute.

Julie and Matt look hot and very natural walking down the street together in Chicago. Aw and she feels like she fits here but didn’t at college. Be a city gal, join us!!! Lol

“It’s frustrating bc I miss you and I miss us, and tonight watching you with all these people it’s like you’ve moved on and it’s sucks.” Awww Julie and then Matt immediately kissed her to shut her up! “I’ve been waiting to do that ever since you showed up.” This is SUCH a romantic ass city kiss!

Honestly out of all the characters Matt and Julie are the ones I can see being city folks the most so that tracks for me.

Jess helping Luke with the plays instead of Vince, she’s such a good one.

Omg Matt and Julie are so cute in bed together, Matt again saying he missed her as he plays with her hair. 🥺

She’s gonna tell him about the TA thing right? Yep okay good honesty is important.

Awww Matt being so supportive and nonjudgmental! My heart! He’s such a good guy I’m dead 😭

“I hope this won’t freak you out, but I think you and I need to, um...we need to go get breakfast.” LOL I LOVE HIM HES SO CUTE god

Oh shit Eric’s benching Vince for not helping Luke! Man of his word, he does not play!

“The big deal is I’m an adult and you’re not.” Yeah Becky, Mindy’s argument seems pretty sound considering we’re talking about you, a teenage girl, working at a strip club. Just...wait till you’re an adult, gurl! You’re almost there!

Oh god Mindy’s irritable, is she preggers???

Anddd she does not seem happy about it....

Yeeesh Tami just slammed her head trying to break up this fight between Epyck and Laurel? Fuck

Yay I was right about Vince’s mom. “I think you maybe don’t have to take his advice all the time. You have a good head on your shoulders, use it, okay!” YES MAMA TELL HIM!!!

Omfg they’re gonna arrest Epyck for this even tho Tami is saying not to bc it was an accident??? Y’all really hate students of color with trauma, damn...the fact that Laurel thought it was okay to call Epyck a psycho in front of a lot of people too? School to prison pipeline in action, folks.

Aw Eric found Jess crying alone in the locker room 🥺 poor baby

We stan Eric. He told Jess not to apologize for crying and to “take all the time you need.” AWWWW

“I don’t wanna be your safety net.” Matt is right—Julie’s clearly avoiding stuff! “I wish you could stay longer, I wish you lived here but you...don’t live here.” He’s right! Gurl! Ugh being 18/19 is so hard!

Omg Billy’s excitement about Mindy being pregnant again is insane. He said “who cares?” about Mindy having to quit her job and she seems much more concerned than he does about the very real health care concerns.

“My boys can swim,” Billy says, putting THE PEE STICK IN HIS MOUTH?? I’m dead, Mindy just saying “I peed on that” and him removing it. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS BILLYYY

Ugh poor Epyck :( this system has failed her! And poor Tami tried so hard.

Ah, Eric is getting turned onto the idea of not coaching teens but adults instead—fair!

Omg Luke stopped by Eric’s after 10 to say he’s too scared to be quarterback?? Oh babe.

Awww Senior Day is here. Look at Luke’s trash mom!

“How much time do you need? You’re not milking a cow out there!!” Lol

Yeeeesh now everyone’s chanting “we want Vince.” Ugh imagine being Luke rn

Why is Vince’s dad literally mad? Luke is doing well lol

Yesss lions win!! You did it baby! They’re going to the playoffs!

Oh geez and now Vince has to stop his dad from storming the field and cursing Eric Taylor out! Jesus.

Aww Luke getting his little victory kiss from Becky and bringing her along. His mom is such an asshole, she’s literally gawking at Becky. Bless the dad for being like “why not?”

“He kissed her. Did you see that he kissed her?” Ew Luke’s mom how do you think she got pregnant the last time...?

Aww and off Julie goes, hopefully this time to stop avoiding her problems in that lil blue car? FUCK ME UPPP matt pulling a classic move yelling and running after her, “Julie!!!!!”

“It’s all gonna be okay, all right? We’ll figure it out.” As they’re in the street?? With the I love yous and a truck honking?? Are you kidding me? How romantic...and then she has to get back in the car and drive away oh my HEART the romantic angst!

The episode ending in Matt watching her car drive away from him!!!! Art!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 11: Rafael’s Lian Yu Experience

Ah, lets tune into Yugioh where Duke has decided to do some off-roading in the worst car and in the worst place.

Ah yes, the normal interaction you would have with a desert and your expensive vintage car. Duke has been struggling since he became a protagonist to stick to a defining trope. Now that Serenity is gone, and now that they aren’t watching a duel for Duke to be a downer about, I guess his only other tick is that he sucks at driving?

Again there was a perfectly serviceable truck back at the RV but they just really like to put miles on this car (which doesn’t have it’s lights on I believe, which...good job, Duke).

And he just launches these two inexplicably out of the car. Because Yugi might be losing his whole damn soul on the other end of this desert, but we will have cartoon shenanigans, damn it.

It really does look like Dukes looking through the wrong side of his binoculars here...that extra level of Duke.

Speaking of extra level, hows that horse thing going? Where Yugi is riding a horse for the first time in his entire life?

Because, apparently the show has decided that Yami should be really good at horses (????????). He can’t read any Egyptian, he doesn’t have any memories of his Pharaoh life, he can barely use magic, but apparently, he can game a horse. Only problem, is that this art team of high octane vehicle enthusiasts seems totally unaware of how horses work---I’ll just show you. This scene GOES places, and I will absolutely record it so you can watch it in it’s entirety in a separate post.

(see more horse under the cut)

The horses leg didn’t move the entire slide down the mountain y’all, he just stuck one hoof in front of him and power-slid down a freakin cliff like he was wearing horse Wheelies.

What the Hell?

Anyway, welcome to our new dueling platform.

You wouldn’t believe it, but it’s on a very tall thing. I know, in this show? They’re dueling on a tall thing? Whaaaaat?

This is a hilariously weirdly perfectly cylindrical land mass 10/10.

So Rafael’s whole deal is so freakin weird.

Rafael’s a weirdo. I was ready for Alister, since Alister introduced himself in a Maximilian Pegasus suit, but I just wasn’t expecting Rafael to be the weirdEST youknow? Of the three? Like he’s up there with Arcana and the band-saw ankle-slicing machine. Just a really choice human being who makes really good decisions.

God bless this artist’s obsession with edgy cargoes.

Anyways, another fun fact about Rafael is he gets more and more jacked with every single frame it feels--his muscles are like the quality to go fight Cell, but all he does is play cards.

Also he’s obsessed with justifying mass murder on a global scale so...he seems a little bit like an X-men villain in that way, except he’s...just a normal ass dude who got really buffed.

Rafael needs a reason to want to destroy all humanity--that’s really the big dilemma that the writing crew was given, but the way they got there...was a lot.

Lets dive right into it, starts off kind of normal, run of the mill “gotta cleanse the world yada yada” and then just starts somersaulting down a steep hill like in Princess Bride.

First of all, the show decides to reveal to us the entire story via a Rebecca google search, and then, once we’re like WTF? we get to hear it in it’s entirety and it is way weirder the second time.

So um...this Titanic cruise ship.

Yeah. I know. That’s a lot of Princess Peach dresses.

(welcome back, glass of OJ that every child on this show drinks with every meal)

Honestly there is no greater curse in this show than being rich. If you’re a rich dude you are SCREWED. Some force of nature is going to come for you just at any possible moment. You will get abducted....MANY TIMES. You will lose your parents, repeatedly. Your wife will die shortly after marriage. Some asshole will walk up and just remove your eyeball and replace it with a magic golf ball. You will never be the best at cards. Just never be rich in the Yugioh universe. It is better to be dead.

Speaking, of dead--just did a Rebecca-brand google search--do you know how many people fit on an average cruise liner?

It’s more than you think.

Woooooooooooooooooooooo that’s about 3000 people! Just nonchalantly! (and yo, I went mid-range, some cruise liners carry like 6000)

We passed so many 69′s just now!

Now there is some weird issues with this episode where Rebecca was like “The only survivor was Rafael” and then later, Rafael mentions his family is still alive--kinda sounds like the translation shenanigans are back at it, where the English version is desperately trying to keep people from dying, but like, the Japanese version drew a 600 ft tidal wave that ate up this cruise-liner like it was a bathtub toy made of paper.

But sure, maybe some escape boats made it out safely from a catastrophe that is 800 times worse than the Titanic. Sure they did.

PS History Channel got into a weird trend in the 00′s where they used to do these series of rogue wave horror stories--do you remember those? Anyways, one of my friends got super spooked by rogue waves and had it as one of her top ten fears. At the time I was like “lol you’re not gonna get rogue waved on a cruise are you kidding?” But then again, maybe she watched Yugioh and this episode scarred her for life?

Especially since this crazy traumatic experience was followed by three years of being stranded on an island and going COMPLETELY insane. Like not just...partial--Rafeal has absolutely no grip on reality anymore. Like, at all. He’s on another plane from most other Yugioh villains.

It’s like Lord of the Flies but there’s only one person in it. The Lord of the Fly.

This is a kid’s show.

Anyways, on the island, Rafael got hella jacked. So there was that one plus. He did eventually become a very huge person in his adulthood, although he did get a Mokuba haircut for a little while. This honestly says more about Mokuba’s hair routine than anything else.

He also spent some time seeing his lost family members as these three cards that he likes to pray to. Occasionally they fall into the ocean and he has to dry them off. Rafael lived a kind of boring weird life cycling between hallucinations and staring into the ocean.

The show didn’t bother to tell us what Rafael was eating or explain how that outfit lasted 3 years. But, they did describe that after 3 ENTIRE YEARS, Darts decided to just start harassing him.

Which...OK...and then there was this next sequence

I mean this was the only interaction that Rafael had in three years so maybe he forgot that getting drowned by people who harness the power of the ocean isn’t like...good behavior?

Anyways, back in the real world, in the city and wearing his hot topic grunge vest well into his early 30′s, Rafael decided that everyone just...deserves to die. Traffic sucks. Cities sucks. There’s too much crime. Everyone should be dead. It was very strange and sudden twist. You go from having all the money in the world, to no money, and then back to all the money and it’s like “Central heating SUCKS! KILL EVERYONE!”

Then Rafael made this mention of his family that has to be a translation thing.

Those guys have got to be dead. I mean this is Yugioh. There were no survivors. I’ll be very surprised if they pop up next episode, I’ll even dock them off the Death Count if they never died, I am that certain they won’t still be dead in this upcoming arc. They have clearly been replaced with paper cards. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if their souls were somehow inside these particular cards he carries.

I didn’t cap it, but to walk on the island you walk across a glowing oricalchos bridge and it was very goofy.

And then these guys showed up, reminding me again that they are still on this show, because tbh, I completely forgot.

I kinda miss when they were the weirdest people here and I just thought Rafael was another boring guy in handlebar muttonchops.

Anyway, it’s a short update today. I’m a little behind on things in other places, so that’s fine by me. I keep hoping that soon I’ll be back to doing like 2 of these a week. Especially since I recently decided to start blocking twitter and other places I’ve been wasting a little too much time on, maybe then it’ll funnel my efforts to here? We’ll see. Next episode we’ll find out how long all of these guys wearing jackets in the desert are faring.

And here’s a link to read these from the beginning.

[stargate365]

[SGA] 3.02: Misbegotten (3/3)

Previously on Atlantis... we made even more Dumb Decisions and it did not go well. Hopes for this episode are not high either.

Carson is Not Happy about being in the chair.

3rd option: Somebody let Rodney near the Wraith Hyperdrives.

Teyla is over the moon rn.

...okay that’s super creepy...

Sorry Teyla, but Michael has a point. I mean, I personally, understand. But y’all really fucked his life up and nobody has said sorry.

Literally, not one person has said “Sorry for fucking up your life Michael.”

Or asked him what his actual name is. 

(It’s Lastlight by the way. I looked it up. Because I actually gave a fuck.)

“What I am, is not a disease you can cure.” <— fucking mood!!!

If they keep pulling this shit on him, I will not be surprised if he goes insane. I don’t think the psyche can take it. There’s gonna be some serious damage.

Whapnwpqmbsuqbwlqpsh

Seriously??? Again!!

He’s gonna loose it and I don’t blame him.

Poor Not-Wraith Dude.

Why does Michael’s hair keep going brown?? It literally doesn’t make sense. Keratin doesn’t change color without outside intervention. That’s not how biology works!!

(Also, background not Wraith is wearing a really awful wig)

Caldwell isn’t playing your game Woolsey. He’s not dumb.

Skinhead is a drone.... um... Lathan... you’re ruining Michael’s plan... so you have to die...

Lol. Nobody actually wants Woolsey there...

Carson... what are you doing?

Okay. They’re holding a voodoo circle... Michael is regressing quicker... I don’t think he really lost his memory as much as they thought...

Wow Michael... ruthless much??

And now his hair is white again... this really fucking bothers me!!

Poor Carson...

*sighs* did I not say this would all go to shit?? I distinctly remember saying so.

Nope, sorry Rodney, Michael found ur bomb.

“We couldn’t hit the side of a barn... a giant flying barn, we couldn’t hit that.”

Well, they never get to keep their toys so I’m not surprised they don’t get to keep the hive ship.

Bet they’re hiding in a cloaked jumper.

“Sheppard, where the hell are you?” “Oh, right, sorry.” *de-cloaking jumper*

Wow... Woolsey likes Liz. I’m impressed.

“The IOA doesn’t need to know that.”

Inconvenient facts... Ohmygod.

[haquarius]

We knew Harry was a kinky mahfuccer. Does Louis' astrology look the same too?

wow y’all really want me to die, huh? i was expecting an ask like this and honestly, i was hoping i wouldn’t get one because louis&harry have really… interesting and nasty placements that honestly make me blush when i think about them, but you know what? it’s high time i expose them, so here we go! 

disclaimer: this is my own astrological observation. i am not implying that this is in any way true or trying to fetishize h&l. the nature of this question has to do with (mostly) their venus and mars signs (i might sneak in their moons too), and i’m just going to apply my knowledge of what i know about their placements to this question!

harry: mars and venus in aquarius (moon in libra)

so. venus AND mars in aquarius. most people these placements usually don’t have very um, vanilla, sex. aquarius is open minded, rebellious, and enjoys challenging the norm. they’re usually pretty savvy when it comes to what happens in the bedroom, and they can have a strong inclination to bdsm, roleplaying, kinks… the works. they’re the type of people who have really weird kinks and are not ashamed of letting people know that. *COUGH*MEDICINE*COUGH* i mean?! he sang it and MOANED in front of his mom. also, weird fact, but these placements thrive on sexual detachment, meaning they love it when their partner plays hard to get or pretends that what they’re doing isn’t turning them on (which i know louis probably does, sassy mars/merc in sag and leo moon). they also find the concept of sex from a distance (phone sex, skype sex) especially thrilling because they find the idea of sex very exciting (weird, i know, but it’s harry, so.) people with venus and mars in aqua are just very interested in the whole idea of sex. [cue harry congratulating strangers, or one of his best friend’s parents, on having sex at least twice in front of 20K+ people] people with venus and mars in aqua tend to be attracted to people who march to he beat of their own drum, are willing to go along with wild fantasies, and louis’ sag mars does NOT disappoint. harry is drawn to louis because he can hold his own and because he’s willing to follow him into harry’s sex dungeon on wild adventures. aquarius mars/venus is pretty detached, which points to harry not seeing sex as an emotional connection and being dominant and a little cold during sex, BUT!!! that moon in libra begs to differ! libra moons are insanely warm and romantic, which makes me believe he can be rough and kinky in the bedroom while also being soft and loving toward louis, which ugh, i didn’t need to know. honestly. when louis said, “we kind of share that!” he meant it, and i, for one, hate that we know that. as domineering as harry can be in bed, he is just as submissive. aqua placements are excellent sexual chameleons. even without any knowledge of astrology, you all know shit gets wild behind closed doors. the marriage kink? probably real. also the exhibitionism one. that one is definitely real. knowing his natal chart is a gift and a curse, but in this case, a curse. i’m blushing. now to  louis!

louis: mars in sagittarius, venus in scorpio (moon in leo)

uh, not be gross, but these placements radiate bratty power bottom energy. not saying they don’t mix things up, but. you know. leo moon is generous, but is a huge fan of receiving. sag moon is just kinky, point blank, and the scorpio venus is probably the most telling i’m SCREAMING. ANYWAYS, mars in sagittarius. now, like harry’s mars and venus, sag mars is also known for not taking sex too seriously, but!!! that venus in scorpio stops all those thoughts in their tracks. venus in scorpio is deeply passionate and possessive, (jealouis) meaning, they do see sex as an act of deep emotional connection, like harry’s libra moon. they take the act of having sex pretty seriously. these are the type of people who call it “making love” lol.  when scorp venus settles down and says, yes, this is the one, they devote themselves mind, body, and soul, and want to make their partners happy in any way they can. a prime example of a service vers, lmao. venus in scorpio and mars in sag is one of the most kinky combinations i’ve ever seen, and i hate it, because this is my son. anyways, louis’ wayward sag mars compliments harry’s aqua placements nicely because sagittarus is curious and just as rebellious as aqua, if not more. down to try anything once, and that venus in scorpio is eager to please, so whatever harry suggests, he’s probably down for, which, gross. louis isn’t as vocal about his kinks like harry is, and i think that’s mostly because his capricorn sun and his venus in scorpio are pretty reserved. however, he has his moments, with that merc in sag. “harry’s getting head!” anyways, i’ve noticed that they are very push and pull, but it only makes their sex life all the more complex. harry’s aqua placements like it when their partner plays hard to get, and louis’ venus in scorpio’s favorite tactics is withholding sex until they feel like their partner “deserves” it. this is a power move!!! scorpio venus loves to feel like they’re in control, and instead of being dominant in bed, which they can do, don’t get it twisted, most prefer teasing their partners by holding the promise of sex above their heads. they both enjoy what the other supplies. harry likes it when louis pretends he’s not gagging for it, louis likes pretending he couldn’t care less. a match made in heaven. 

anyways this is probably the dirtiest thing i’ve ever written and my venus in virgo is shaking, help her. i hope you all know we’ve been knew this whole time.

[budapestalloveragain]

Once you get this it would be cool if you posted ten facts about yourself and then passed this along to your ten favorite followers!!

hahaha thanks jiejie xD

(okay u know what you could go around asking mom for facts about herself I DON’T KNOW) 

(thank u ily a lot)

1) love yourself her is the only thing i will listen to for the rest of my life it is... so good... i have so much love for that entire album and all of bangtan and just like hOLY SHIT IT’S SO GOOD (favs include dna, go go, mic drop & pied piper but i mean i love them all even though the skit makes me cringe really hard)2) i am madly in love with bangtan it is insane how much i think about them wow whoops3) i also love seventeen if u didn’t know, hip hop unit is my fav (?? i think ??? i’m really uncertain on everything lmao) + jeonghan is my bias but like everyone sways me okay i love them all more than i can express4) kard are going to be like 5 hours away from me in 2 days (actually they already are in new york but i mean their show is in 2 days) and i cannot go but i am sending them all my love bc i also love them so much & i hope i can see them someday5) i love my mom @omfgbts a whole lot :’) she’s like... the best... & i’m so glad i met her bc she makes me really happy like all the time !! she means a lot to me i’m really glad she’s around 6) i love u jiejie and ate @bandlost you two make me so happy too like i can’t believe i didn’t know you this time last year (i mean except u jiejie i’ve known u a long time wow wow) iDK WHAT THIS IS OKAY I DON’T HAVE MANY FACTS BUT I HAVE A LOT OF LOVE 7) pied piper makes me feel warm n fuzzy inside but it’s such a call out post lmao i love it so much i love... bangtan.. s o  m u c h  (also tae’s voice in this entire album makes me wanna melt it’s so low and like lovely and i love him a lot what the heck)8) i am a high school senior (it’s my last year before uni/college/whatever u call it) and i’m so fucking scared !! idk what the heck i’m doing at all and i feel like i have to know what i’m doing and like meet all these deadlines so soon and it is lowkey the most terrifying thing ever sooooo yeah that’s really fun... but the love yourself album is really keeping me calm lmao like okay back to #7 when i listen to pied piper i am like... wow everything is good9) my mom ?? bought tickets to hamilton ?!??! in chicago ???? in march ?!?!?!?!? this isn’t meant to be bragging at all like i just thought about it and it’s a fact about myself and idk idk don’t hate me okay i’m really excited though i love hamilton a whole lot and i love musicals and i just like didn’t think i’d ever see it live and anyways okay yes10) dimple/illegal/보조개/whatever it’s called has really grown on me so much in the past 24 hours okay like at first i was like this song is alright but i like some of the other ones better (still true but u know what i mean) and now i like... it’s so soft... jimin’s voice... tae’s voice... all their voices... it makes me feel calm and happy inside so i like it a lot

um yes okay this was 10 really random facts about myself... i have 2 more tags to do from jiejie + i have like a bajillion drafts to spam y’all with so !! expect that !! (oh my god it’s the billboard skit okay i gotta skip it makes me cringe so hard lmao like i watched the whole billboards just for bangtan and they were there for like 5 minutes and aHH i don’t wanna listen to logan paul when i’m tryna hear bangtan lol u feel)

[stargleeksil-blog]

I’ve managed to do a few in one sitting, so I decided to be extra nice. Here ya go, folks - Criminal Minds s01e03 Won’t Get Fooled Again review

Episode 03 – Won’t Get Fooled Again

Ok, let’s get started on episode 3. So from the title alone I can guess it has to do with the background of one of the characters. Sounds yummy. Let’s go.

We start with a guy creepily staring at another guy’s house while listening to the weather report … and I’m not liking the odds with that heat figures.

And we’re located in Palm Beach, Florida this time, exotic and high end… impressive.

You know, for a businessman he’s being awfully stalkerish, gives me the creeps. Also, the guy who is being stalked is the dad from “Even Stevens” LOL so good to have throwbacks.

Oh, wow! That was unexpected! It just went boom!

And Even Steven’s dad is on fire and screaming bloody murder. Yeesh. I hoped it was gonna be ok this time.

Five bombs??? That’s insane!!!

How the hell does Derek know all about bombs? He’s even more intriguing than I thought. A lovely wrapping on a lovelier package, mmm (smacking lips)

And a bomb just went off on a live news report, awesome PR for the bomber, no doubt.

And show’s intro – still pissed Kirsten isn’t in it. Oh wait, she’s a guest star???? What??? Oh God, I’m gonna have to keep up with this show to see her become a series regular. Oh boy.

Someone should explain what ATF means.

And Derek is still doubting Gideon’s capability in the field? What? Oh well, I guess it’s for the best cuz I trust that fictional man with all my heart.

Samuel Johnson: “Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.” – does that mean this episode has a copycat? Whoa, talk about foreshadowing!!!!

Aww Penelope’s cute cluelessness around the bomb is so amazingly adorable.

“Garcia, what are you doing in the FBI?” “I didn’t get into medical school” “Why does that noy surprise me?” “Ouch! That’s what my father said seven years ago!”

Hahaha I love their banter. I’m so excited they get a scene all for themselves.

“You sound like Gideon,” “Ouch!”

God, I love those two.

Morgan explaining the mechanics of bombs should not be this arousing.

“Boom! See ya later, unsub.” – hopefully.

“What does that tell you about our unsub? “(looking nauseated) That he’s one sick puppy?” aww babycakes.

Um, if you don’t understand that the police and FBI are in your house you should get your head checked, please calm down lady, they’re trying to help.

Oh, lovely, anarchist? What the frick are they trying to prove here?

Oh wow, they messed up his leg real good for this episode, nice. But he’s huffed up on painkillers why is he still coherent? Hmm, that seems oddly suspicious.

OK, if a geologist isn’t taking samples, that should be a red flag, you moron. How the fuck can ou afford that bigass house and have the brain of a dead coyote?

Oh snap, so Elle found a picture of a kid, who is their nephew… but seriously? A kid making a bomb? What the hell? Also, if he’s coherent, how the fuck is he NOT a suspect? Am I missing something?

Penelope’s playing Tetris while Morgan’s trying to figure out the bomb, I’m dying here. Wow. Did she just solve it? She’s amazing. I love Penelope Garcia with all of my heart.

Yay, going into a different scene in Gideon’s head. I love when they do that. It always excites me.

So he gets off on murder? Ew.

Oh, they’re going to prison, baby.

Yeah, it’s a “shocker” that Hotchner was a nerd when he was a kid. Like he isn’t now.

Look, Bale is jail, of course it’s a copycat, of course it is! He’s a narcissistic asshole who can’t share his toys, so why the fuck would he send someone to do his Devine work?

Oh this guy is just bananas all over the charts! Whew. I’m getting dizzy just from listening to this whackjob.

Oh shit, the kid is holding a fucking bomb. Oh shit.

Oh my god, that’s excruciating to watch. Why let a girl hold a box that’s supposedly a bomb? Damn.

“Office of Supreme Genius Puzzle-Solving, do you have a riddle for me?” if I wasn’t being monitored I’d answer like that at my job.

Wow, the guys in prison can access the internet? Maybe prison isn’t all that bad … weird. Oh, wow, now Penelope is gonna lure him out with pornography? That sick little lady, I love her so much.

“Sexy willing teen hot for inmate” – could you be any more obvious? For a tech kitten, you’re not very kitteny.

186 emails from the guy in prison? They need to roll back the privileges. Come on.

Haha they just got onto the unsub.

“Don’t marry the first guy who proposes” – why the fuck would you tell a woman that?

“I hope he’s not committing suicide, I won’t be able to collect on life insurance” – that’s healthy, Mrs. Walker.

Oh crap! That guy just totally turned his wife into roadkill. What the fuck is going on with this show??

Guy was obsessed with Bale. Eek! Talk about creepy assholes.

Aww, look at Garcia making her lunch all organized.

And why is Derek getting down on her for not eating or sleeping? Not nice. But I love him all the same. Please never change, or I will be forced to mishandle you, mister.

“Uh-ho! Somebody’s been taking notes!” “Medical school, schmedical school” someone staple those two’s lips together already.

Also, I love their cute little hand thing they got going on.

“Forgeries valued into millions?” I got to get in on that. Damn.

Oh man. They just sent a hostage with a bomb on him. Oh crap! That just got serious real quick.

I can’t believe I can eat while watching this show. I guess I’m really desensitized now. Really hoped not to get to this point, but whatever.

Three hours to diffuse a bomb? Damn.

So they’re going to negotiate with a bomber? Oh man.

Aww, he’s got a bumper mirror on a selfie stick! You’re so resourceful, Hotch.

What? Now Bale is in contact with Walker? Oh boy. He’s gonna blow the whole thing up like the fourth of July. Get the hell out of there!!!!!

Phew. Only Walker got fried.

Wait, what? They’re gonna give him the option to get out of prison? For a bomb on a civilian? That’s cute.

Oh come on! He already said he made an error in the beginning of the episode, why the fuck does he have to be such a fucking prick?

Wow. He’s a definite sociopath. Seriously. Just slap the cuffs on him and lead him to his execution, come on! Ugh.

4 minutes to diffuse the bomb.

Wait. Bale told him red and Gideon says blue? Why the fuck did that asshole lie to him? Now he gets nothing anyway!

Oh damn Gideon is one teasing little bitch, and I love him for it.

 This was such an intense episode, I really hope they keep it up. As much as I grumble and grouse over the graphic imagery, I love this so much. I’ll see y’all tomorrow night (yup, it’s 9:30 pm over here) for Plain Sight, alright? Thanks to those who read this. Mwah <3

[vlad-thee-inhaler]

RULES: Tagged? Write a note with 92 truths about you! Tag 25 people. 

Ey! Thanks, @x-sparkling-sun-x and @barba-booty! I adore these little tag thingies! ;)

LAST:

LAST THING I BOUGHT: A venti Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks. Shit was good as hell. <3

LAST STORE I VISITED: Barnes and Noble!

LAST TEXT MESSAGE: “Yes! You never know what will happen!”

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: “Shoop” by Salt N’ Peppa. Some 90s realness on this Sunday evening.

LAST THING I ATE: Potato soup.

HAVE YOU EVER:

DATED SOMEONE TWICE: Hell. No. My exes are trash, mostly.

BEEN CHEATED ON: Probably. I don’t even give a fuck now, tbh. Hope he had fun with his hoes! 

KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: Yes. Ugh.

LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yeah. Sadly.

BEEN DEPRESSED: Yes. ):

BEEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: Yes, and it was HELL. Never have three big-ass solo cups of vodka and cranberry, kids. It’ll make you question your existence the next day.

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

MADE A NEW FRIEND: Yes.

FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: No.

LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Fuck yes! The best feeling ever.

MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: No.

FOUND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS WERE: Nah. I did find out a couple years ago, though. 

FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: No.

GENERAL:

HOW MANY PEOPLE ON TUMBLR DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?: Maybe around 5 or 6? I don’t know, man.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: Yes! A black Cane Corso Pitbull mix named Kiko. She is so sweet. <3

DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME?: Yes. Preferably to my middle name, Jeané. I hate my name, honestly. 

WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?: Around 9.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT?: Wrote a VERY dirty song with my BFFs. Low-key dedicated to Raúl Esparza.

NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: The end of this hellish semester, in December - I’m dying already, guys... Plus, we’re going back to New York City before Christmas, so I’m stoked!

HAVE YOU EVER MET SOMEONE NAMED TOM?: No, surprisingly. 

WHAT’S GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RN?: The fact that I have school tomorrow. PLUS, I gotta spend my birthday (which is on Wednesday. Send me headcanons, plz - It will keep me from ending it all.) writing a paper. SMH.

BLOOD TYPE: No clue.

NICKNAME: My full name is Tiara, but I often go by Tee. My granny calls me Pootie Tang. Mom calls me Tee Tee Boo. Don’t judge me, y’all. xD

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single! And proud. Eyy. 

ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo - AKA, the best fucking sign ever. Y’all other hoes need to bow down. ;) LMAO, JK!

PRONOUNS: She/Her.

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Kitchen Nightmares.

COLLEGE: University of Virginia.

HAIR COLOR: Brown.

LONG OR SHORT: Long! Got my braids in. Yass. <3

DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEBODY: If they ain’t celebrities, than nah. 

FIRSTS:

FIRST SURGERY: Haven’t had any yet. Let us keep it that way.

FIRST PIERCING: None. I want a septum piercing, though. But I HATE pain! Damn.

FIRST BEST FRIEND: This girl named Diamond. We were friends in Kindergarten. She had cut my hair with scissors tho. Whether it was intentional or not is up for dispute. My mom thinks that it was on purpose, though. She has a theory that she was jealous of me for having long hair? I had long-ass hair back then.

FIRST SPORT YOU JOINED: Is marching band considered a sport? Hell, I say it is. As much as we die out in the sun, marching, holding 20-pound instruments for 8 hours? Yeeeah. I will fight anyone who tells me different. LMAO.

FIRST VACATION:  First one I remember? Florida, I believe.

FIRST PAIR OF SNEAKERS: No clue.

EATING: Baby food, I suppose?

DRINKING: Milk. From a bottle. LMAO.

I’M ABOUT TO: Eat some salted caramel Pepperidge Farm cookies. Those shits are BOMB.

LISTENING TO: “Michelle” by The Beatles.

WANT KIDS: Yes! 

GET MARRIED: Hell yeah! 

CAREER: Either a lawyer, or a journalist. Or a novelist.

WHICH IS BETTER:

LIPS OR EYES: Eyes!

HUGS OR KISSES: Hugs. I love hugs so much. They have the power to make my day.

SHORTER OR TALLER: Shorter! Being a shortie myself, I cannot help but to be more inclined to my people. <3

OLDER OR YOUNGER: Y’all already know... Have y’all not seen my insane daddy kink? xD

ROMANTIC OR SPONTANEOUS: Romantic! I’m a whore for love and validation.

SENSITIVE OR LOUD: Sensitive!

HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship. I am worth MUCH more than that hit-it-and-quit-it bullshit. LOL.

TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

KISSED A STRANGER: Um... If he is my friend’s co-worker, does that make him a stranger? I was drunk, y’all. Cut me some slack.

DRANK HARD LIQUOR: Yup. Rum, vodka, whiskey (fireball), and tequila (not a fan of that so much, though).

LOST GLASSES/CONTACTS: No! I. Would. Die.

SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: Hell naw! I’m a virgin anyway, but still, pfft.

BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Maybe?

BEEN ARRESTED: Nope!

TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Yes.

FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: Kinda?

DO YOU BELIEVE:

IN YOURSELF: *Laughs* You’re funny as hell. But, no. I actually hate myself. (:

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: No.

HEAVEN: I dunno. Not like my heathen ass will be able to get in there anyway. ;)

SANTA CLAUS: Y’all think I’m seven years old? xD

…

I tag: @barbaesparza, @reverendjonasnightingale, @velovr, @fortheloveofallthingsraul, and 21 more people. I am lazy, and a disgrace to society. LOL.

[ethelbertpaul444-blog]

The Best Bachelor In Paradise Recap Youll Ever Read: Week 3, Night 1 Betches

Welcome back to Bachelor in Paradise! The show that keeps on giving leaves us shackled to our couches for 4-6 hours a week. When last we left off, Chris was interrupted in the middle of comparing living, breathing women to courses in a meal by Tia who, hopefully, came armed to this conversation with a shoe so she can beat him to death with it. I’m rooting for you, Tia!

TIA: You told me that I deserve the best. CHRIS: You do. TIA: But you made out with Krystal. CHRIS: I did. But I’ll fight for you. TIA: 

Okay, see this is what’s wrong with modern dating right here. They keep talking in circles around each other and Chris might as well be speaking in Pig Latin for all the sense he’s making rn. Tia is pissed because Chris told her he would commit to her, meanwhile Chris is saying that he did mention commitment to her but will actually do the opposite. But, hey, at least he said the word commitment! That’s got to count for something, Tia!

Jesus. This talk is making me want to call my internet company and abandon the sh*tty internet plan that makes it possible for me stream this abomination on clear, cloudless days only. Tia keeps saying Chris’s argument doesn’t make sense—and it doesn’t—but what really doesn’t make sense is how either of these women can fight over him while he’s wearing that fugly bandanna.

HOW.

Moving on. Oh, that poor parrot needs to stay far away from Kendall. Next time we see it it will be on her wall.

Tia thinks that because Colton warned her about Chris, Colton is in love with her. It’s flimsy evidence at best, but her crazy ass will take anything she can get.

HAHA. Tia yelping “help” after realizing she’s insane is me in the mirror every morning.

Jacqueline and her monotone voice emerge from behind a palm tree. Idk why, but there’s something v unnerving about Jacqueline to me. I think it has something to do with the full set of baby teeth hiding in that tiny mouth of hers.

Bibi’s like “she doesn’t smell like Paradise yet. I’m screwed.” Bibi, this girl has the personality of a mechanical pencil. I think you’ll be fine, girl.

Jacqueline pulls Colton aside as Tia is literally in the middle of professing her love to him again. Lol this should be good.

JACQUELINE: Can I steal you for a second, Colton? TIA:

WHAT. Colton turns Jackie down?? First of all, you can do that? Second of all, he can’t say no to a date! What does he think he’s here for?  To sip on his Mike’s Hard and work on his tan? Absolutely not. You’re never going to lose your virginity with an attitude like that, Colton!

Colton tells Tia that he’s still into her but he doesn’t want to, like, do anything about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to stick my head in an oven. Are you effing kidding me with this, ABC? Honestly, this Colton/Tia thing has gone on far too long. I’ve had enough. Someone murder them both already. For f*ck’s sake.

Jackie picks Kenny for the date because one of the producers lost a bet and had to make this happen. That’s the only way these two on a date makes sense. I’ll be shocked if they find anything to talk about. Fingers crossed the producers don’t have to resort to poking them with sticks to generate any sort of human emotion!

KENNY: You’re pretentious, aren’t you? JACKIE: 

Clearly this love story was written in the stars. Good luck, kids!

Back at the beach, Annaliese is patiently waiting for Kenny to get back from his date. She’s like “I have to find love get a rose tonight. I. have. to.” Damn, this girl did not come to play. She immediately pulls Kenny aside to show him the pink goo she picked out for dessert.

OH MY GOD DID ANNALIESE JUST SAY SHE WANTS TO OPEN HER SEXUAL DOOR TO HIM? Does she mean, like, her back door? Is that what she’s trying to say? I’m confused.

Okay, Venmo John is killing it this season. Who would have thought a man with a decent job and a 401K would be more of a hot commodity than a former pro athlete? No, seriously. Who.

Meanwhile, Chris and Krystal are heating up. It’s disgusting. He’s like “I really appreciated you having my back when I was trying to dump my side chick. That was hot.” Krystal, is this what you’ve been dreaming about your whole life? Because if so, then I’m so glad you found your knight in shining armor!

Okay, Bibiana is a goddamn therapist at this point. She should honestly be charging by the hour for the amount of time and effort she’s putting into getting these losers to express basic human emotion.

COLTON: So my only choices are to date Tia or go home? Guess I’m going hom— BIBIANA: B*tch, what did we just talk about?

Damn. Tia really wore Colton down. Colton decides he wants to give their relationship a chance and Tia actually screams in ecstasy. It’s v disturbing.

Also, Tia all you ever wanted was for him to “give it an honest chance.” No, that’s not true. You wanted to bully him into dating you. And it worked. Congratulations, you sociopath. (And can I DM you for tips?)

Moving on to the rose ceremony. I never thought we’d get here. I’m genuinely worried Bibi is going home, though. And what will her patients cast mates do without her saving their boyfriends in rose ceremonies when they’re mad at them? Hmm?

MY GOD. What is Jordan wearing on his body rn? It’s like a vest/pant combo made out of the vacation section at a Goodwill.

So. Much. Fashion. 🌹🌹🌹 cocktail party paradise edition #bachelorinsider #bts #bachelorinparadise 🌊🌴🦀🥂

A post shared by Bachelor Insider (@bachelorinsider) on Aug 20, 2018 at 9:18pm PDT

Elsewhere, Caroline has Venmo John cornered on a couch listing off her demands for the rose ceremony. 

CAROLINE: I just hate this campaigning for roses. I’m not that kind of girl. NARRATOR: She absolutely was that kind of girl.

Then there’s Jubilee, A WAR VETERAN, who’s reduced herself to handing out back rubs for a rose. Is this really a back rub or  is she actually using a tactic they teach in the army to get the enemy to submit? She could have some real tricks hidden under that crop top.

Lol David is over here trying to give Bibi a pep talk. He’s like “Kenny said he’s into you. He said you have a good booty.” What a strong foundation to build a relationship on! It’s worked out so well for the Kardashians.

WHAT. Kenny and Bibi start making out and I AM HERE FOR IT. Never mind that Kenny all of the sudden has half of Paradise vying for his attention. SAVE OUR GIRL, KENNY. I beg of you.

Jackie grabs Kenny next and is like “I hope you’ll still give me a chance now that I just turned 27. I read an article in the New York Times that says I’m past my prime now.”

ME:

Um, this man is the father of a 12-year-old college graduate, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t give a sh*t if you’re old enough to pay for your own health insurance now.

Meanwhile, David pulls Jenna aside and gives her a giant-ass stuffed animal for her birthday. Omg. It’s literally a washed-up street dog. What was that, like, the only available thing in the prop room?

Jordan is piiissseddd. He starts dragging the dog down the beach AND THROWS IT INTO THE OCEAN. That is actually so f*cked up. I mean have I done the same thing to my ex-boyfriend’s beloved Kurt Cobain T-shirt after he dumped me in the middle of a beer pong game freshman year? Yes. That’s neither here nor there.

Jordan is losing it and starts going OFF on Chelsea and Jubilee. And it’s, like, Jordan, you can’t start yelling insults at women to their faces. This isn’t MTV.

ANNALIESE: I would not be with a man who speaks to me that way. Nope. JORDAN: Will you accept this rose? ANNALIESE: Omg I would be honored. JORDAN: Sike!

Eric confronts Jordan and tells him he needs to apologize to all the ladies or else. Damn. I forgot how attractive Eric is. There’s just something about a man treating women like actual human beings instead of just props for their next Instagram post that’s so… sexy. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic like that!

@ericbigger, better, badder! 📸:@ericbigger

A post shared by Bachelor in Paradise (@bachelorinparadise) on Aug 20, 2018 at 5:49pm PDT

Eric is the perfect man. I rest my case.

Chris Harrison hauls ass and shows up at the rose ceremony before any other drunken fights can break out. F*cking finally, Chris! The rose ceremony goes as such:

Jordan picks Jenna, who can barely open her eyes with all of that glue holding her eyelashes on. It’s possible she doesn’t even know Jordan is the one who picked her. Who can say.

David picks Chelsea.

Kevin picks Astrid.

Chris picks Krystal. God help her.

John picks Jubilee.

Joe picks Kendall.

Colton picks Tia. Vomit.

Eric picks Angela.

Kenny picks Annaliese. WAIT WHAT. HOW. OVER BIBIANA. How f*cking dare you.

And on that note, I’m out y’all. I have to go try and not have nightmares about Jordan chasing people in the rain. BYE.

Images: Giphy (5) @bachelorinsider /Instagram (1); @bachelorinparadise /Instagram (1)

Read more: https://betches.com/?p=34514

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The Masked Singer Season 5 Episode 10: Quarterfinals! ft the “fiesty five” (Commentary & Guesses... well me reiterating the same guesses but adding a new one yay!)

Hello my fellow Masked Singer fanatics! Welcome or welcome back to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every episode of The Masked Singer excluding those weird sing-a-longs and Road to Finals. If someone goes home and they all sing new songs, then you will most likely see me recap it! And that’s exactly what happened this time... quarterfinals baby! We are almost at the end, only 2 more weeks to go wow! 5 contestants remaining, so let’s start with our 5th place contestant, shall we?

So the person (or should I say people) coming in 5th place and getting eliminated this episode is...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

The Russian Dolls 🪆🪆🪆(yes, there are 3 of them)

Commentary: This one really surprised me honestly, I didn’t see this coming. Their performance of I’m Still Standing by Elton John was one of my favorite ones they have done honestly. I really enjoyed it, and even one of them was playing the freaking piano! Like it was super impressive and as always their harmonies are on point and insanely perfect.... that’s the only way I can explain it: perfect. Their voices work together perfectly, it’s like they’re a band of brothers or something (😉😉).

Anyways, they were revealed to be...

*DRUMROLL AGAIN*

Hanson (Wooo!)

Woohoo! Another one bites the dust, I got it correct yay.. 9/10 right so far. This is a new record for me, I usually get 2 wrong in the beginning reveals of previous seasons, so I am kinda proud of this so far yay! However, the reveal itself surprised me, I thought that they would make it at least to the semifinals if not the finale so this elimination I didn’t see coming. Especially after that performance which I think is one of their best. However, I was super nervous that they were gonna send Black Swan home so I was relieved by this ngl...

Anyways, having said that, let’s talk about the remaining 4 semifinalists:

1. Piglet 🐷

Commentary: Ok, so of all the performances this episode, his was the most surprising... because he started off sing OPERA. Honestly, I would have never thought Nick Lachey can sing in Italian and have that strong Operatic voice... the more you know man. However, he actually continued by singing Supertitous by Stevie Wonder which was a bit of a let down.. as I have said multiple times, his best is with ballads and his voice isn’t suited for upbeat songs like this one. In this case, he started at an all time high 📈 and it got me hyped but then it kind of died down 📉 by the middle and end. I did enjoy the performance tho but I wish he would have just sang opera the entire time because it left me wanting to hear more of the opera song.

2. Chameleon 🦎

Commentary: again I say, I am so sorry to people who are rap fans and/or fans of the chameleon/Wiz Khalifa, but I honestly feel like he should have gone home instead of the dolls. His performance of “Drop it like it’s not” by Snoop Dogg was not his best one, and his rapping is getting kinda repetitive at this point,even tho he is very good at it. Also, side note, the judges had the audacity to say that they thought this was Snoop even tho he sang a song by the guy and in the song he legit spelled “S-n-double o-p D-o-double g....” like um if it were Snoop, he wouldn’t be THAT obvious. Anyways, yeah I predict he is next to go.

3. Yeti ❄️☃️

Commentary: Alright, so Yeti is really surprising me honestly, quickly becoming my second favorite after my girl Black Swan. He is such a versatile performer, I never would have expected Omarion to rap, dance, roller skate, do R&B songs, and now sing some country. It made me nervous at first when he said country in the clue package, because I know him as a R&B musician, but I was really pleasantly surprised with his performance of Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts, it was really smooth and unexpectedly great!

4. Black Swan 🖤🦢

Commentary: Speaking of my girl, here she is... omg I love her, please win girl, I beg of you! Her performance of Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran was.... um... interesting.... in the song choice department. It was absolutely not her best performance, but I gotta give her credit that she did make the song her own. However, she has so much range in her voice and she absolutely didn’t showcase it with this song. I really want Jojo in the semifinals to step it up and choose songs that I know she can absolutely crush like songs by female R&B and Soul singers (some of these do mix these genres with pop but u get me) that are still mainstream enough that people know them (i.e. Aretha Franklin, Destiny’s Child/Beyoncé, Jennifer Hudson, etc.).... even like them pop girlies who have like crazy ranges, y’all know who I am talking about: Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, Celine Dion, Tori Kelly, etc. Please girl give me something with more oomph and that will give me goosebumps, because she can do that stuff but I feel like she is holding back. It’s gonna be the semifinals, I really hope she doesn’t hold back!

Bonus Jonas: Clueluedoo aka the freaking clue chicken...let’s talk about who I think he is (since he will be revealed next week!) 🐓

Commentary: ok like please Masked Singer I beg of you, never give me this character again, who doesn’t even sing but interrupts people with clues or something idk... I didn’t like this concept, it was strange, sometimes he was MIA and sometimes he got annoying... so I really hope next season they don’t bring this back. But at the same time, I kinda understand why they did do it this time based on who I feel like it is

I think he is...

Donnie Wahlberg (aka Jenny’s husband)

Reasoning: ok, you might know him from New Kidz on the Block or because his family is very famous... but he is married to one of the judges, Jenny McCarthy, and I feel like that’s why Masked Singer decided to take the “he doesn’t sing nor get any clues on the show til the end” route but still give him this weird clue route... I get it, I didn’t like it, but I understand it. Anyways, here’s why I think so (only clues imma provide for y’all)

He has never been on the show, as a contestant nor judge= this was on the Masked Singer podcast, and this is true, which rules out another popular guess, Joel McHale

He has a connection with one of the contestants= that would be Nick Lachey, they toured together (New Kidz on the block and 98 degrees did)

He pointed out Ken and Jenny specifically= he’s married to Jenny duh... and Ken is a family friend of theirs, they have dinner at each other’s houses a lot

He’s known in the kitchen (also from the podcast)= yup, he is known for his burgers (Wahlburgers)

Also, in the preview, Jenny is seen freaking out and falling on the floor, probably because that’s her husband and she prob guessed him incorrect but I didn’t so lol am I married to him? No... how did I get it then lmao 😂

Anyways, yeah that’s it! I hope you guys enjoyed it! See you this weekend hopefully for the semifinals recap! Let me know any thoughts about the chicken in the comments.... Like, comment, follow, do all the social media things, it really helps me out and makes me happy 😃. Bye guys!