#ultrakill review

[azzydoesstuff]

ultrakill update review!!!!

SPOILERS AHEAD SPOILERS AHEAD SPOILERS AHEAD SPOILERS AHEAD

IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THE UPDATE YET FUCKIN' DO THAT NOW

okey now for the review:

7-1: GARDEN OF FORKING PATHS

i mean, it was fine. pretty good i guess. the atmosphere was wonderful, sure, but on my first try i spent 90% of the time tryna figure out what i was meant to do. i mean, i get that its SUPPOSED to be like a maze, but when actually gets you lost it kinda goes from "cool and lore accurate" to "lore accuracy at the cost of mild inconvenience". the second half of the level w/ the minotaur was sick, though. i will admit, i DID rage the first time i fought the minotaur cause its kinda not obvious what you're supposed to do to hit him (that stomach hitbox is the size of a fuckin hair) but after you get the hang of it, its a neat fight. i do feel like the railroad situation was kinda wasted by only bringing in 2 trams with enemies and then starting the bossfight with the third one. it woulda been cool to see many trams come and go with enemies on 'em, but oh well. also, jumpscare warning, thanks. very funny hakita. cool joke cool prank there. you got me with that one

7-2: LIGHT UP THE NIGHT

good level. i loved that war aesthetic and shit. the subway station area was a bit mid, and the hook platforming was kinda boring, but not that big of a deal. it introduced my favorite enemy of the update, which is a plus. *cough cough* guess which enemy i'm talking about *cough cough* gutterman *cough*. the challenge was actually pretty creative. wasn't easy to figure out, but also didn't take me like an hour. the archive area where you had to take the correct path was cool, the area just looked cool in general.

7-3: NO SOUND, NO MEMORY

imo: best level aesthetically, kinda mid gameplay-wise. i will admit i may or may not have shat pant when scary flashlight intro. in general, the level layout is spirally at best and messy and confusing at worst, but it's made up for with the amazing cherry blossom trees scenery. the blood tree thing mechanic was actually a really cool idea (also the trees are pretty) but i feel it was executed kinda badly. the whole blood monsters thing just feels weird. i think it'd have been better if it was just normal enemies whose blood fed the tree. the final area was really cool though, nice to see the dual wield powerup back in action. the whole infighting mechanic was also neat, with the way it gets wat harder if you mark yourself for death and disable it.

7-4: ...LIKE ANTENNAS TO HEAVEN

this level is just... mwah! climbing up a colossal machine was awesome, the idol shield area was cool with the time limit and stuff, the escape sequence at the end was awesome (i love escaping from crumbling/soon-to-detonate buildings in games). everything about this level was absolute perfection... except for the bossfight itself. both of the bossfights, actually. look, the defense system had a cramped arena with lackluster attacks and the whole fight was generally really boring and stupid. did not have fun at all. just move around in a circle to dodge the laser while you attack the turrets, ooooooohhhh thrilling... and don't even get me started on the core fight. absolutely idiotic. i hated it. the spinning laser walls felt awkward and the idol shields were infuriating. it sucks so bad that one of the laser walls is at an awkward height that requires you to dash mid-air to move at its level. the whole level was great but the bossfight ruins it for me, really.

ENEMY REVIEWS

MANNEQUIN:

honestly, not a big fan. the design and lore are good, but the attacks are just... annoying. its like a fly that pisses you off from afar. just buzzing around, making itself your problem. they really felt the need to give them prime boss-style combo melees and mindflayer's horrid homing projectiles, huh?

GUTTERMAN:

easily my favorite enemy of the update. i love it when enemies are easy to parry/style on. so satisfying and dopamine-inducing. when i saw the teaser i thought their machine gunning would be annoying, but surprisingly they're only really a virtue-level threat if you ignore them for too long and that's about it. very nice enemy

GUTTERTANK:

easily my LEAST favorite enemy of the update. super inconsistent, fast moving makes it hard to follow, random explosions everywhere with me having no idea where they're coming form, AND you can't even get close to them to heal because they just fly-swat you right away with an unparryable smack. the terminal says to bait out the attack, but the cooldown is so small that they can just do it twice. better off just dash-boosting through the hit to ignore it.

MINOTAUR:

hated at first, but now grew fond of it once i've mastered its patterns. it was like fighting the ferryman all over again, really. i felt cheated and as though it was unfair at first, but once you get the hang of him he's really not that difficult to deal with. also, really sad lore. sorry minotaur.

EARTHMOVER:

i mean what's there to say about it. i already talked about the fight in the 7-4 section what's there even to say here. cool design, i guess?? nice lore entry...?

BIG JOHNINATOR:

big johninator

NEW FEATURE REVIEWS

sharpening of some pixelated textures:

they made the projectile and maurice charging laser sprites less pixel-ey. i'm not too happy with this change, actually. i thought it looked fine, now it just looks... weird.

charged freezeframe rockets:

if you hold a rocket frozen for a second, it'll turn blue and "supercharged", causing its explosion to be WAYYY bigger when shot. this allows for INSANE new nuke tech, it's unbelievable. compare the size of the previous biggest possible explosion (shotgun core + malicious railcannon) and the one you get now with charged rocket + malicious railcannon, it's unreal. literally the size of the cybergrind arena. this changes EVERYTHING. i'm like 90% sure this massive explosion size is unintentional and is getting nerfed within a week.

dying mindflayer knuckleblasting:

when a midflayer is doing its death animation, you can punch it with the knuckleblaster to make it go flying and firing its laser everywhere and exploding after a bit. it's actually fucking hilarious but has zero use in-game because of how situational and difficult to pull off it is.

[hrokkall]

HOW TO PIN YOUR INSECTS:

Position limbs into desired arrangement and pin in place

Maintain eye contact

Pin should pass through the center of the thorax

Move slowly; lest the divine light leak out along with the ichor

Wait for the embers to die.

Wait for the embers to reignite.

[sleepless-sleep]

Favorite steam reviews

(Name of the game in alt text.)

[immarainbowpatooie]

[mosslingg]

throws this at you at mach 20

so uhh this is low effort. bcs I don't have a lot of art from the beginning of the year and also im lazy a lil. also the hazbin fanart is the ONLY piece of art from january that i could find??? and im not happy about it because i had some growth this year and i really don't enjoy hazbin anymore. anyways

to 2025 we go!!! it's been an exciting year and somehow it always comes back to cotl

[nihilean]

gabriel wears my ootd day 6: covid arc episode 4 where i play mouthwashing and have feelings about the videogame being very familiar ohno

[absolutelyzoned]

remove gabriel's degrading voice lines i can't focus with a boner

[stoshasaurus]

i still cannot fucking draw feet and refuse to learn.

anyway, more work with poses and an experiment with cell shading and some half-tone brushes i have. this one actually turned out decent, the hands most of all.

[smolmight97]

Had a pretty good art year tbh :3

[snepdragon]

collection of my fave ultrakill reviews

[astrum99]

@deluxetrashqueen alternative bug idea:

Do,, do you think Gabriel can make cocoons like butterflies? Pulling soft delicate strands out of the hole on his chest plate, and making a temporary home out of it. Oh my god what if it’s just a part of angel growth cycle where they develop armours?

Wait hold on Imagine Gabriel having to dry his wings?! In the heaven he would blend into the sky nicely, but in hell, he must be very careful in the hours of vulnerability. Fresh shed, wet wings, rendered almost immobile by his anatomy.

V1 looks up and accidentally stumbles upon Gabriel in the corner of the cathedral ceiling carefully drying his wings.

I think u have permanently opened a hole in my brain with angels is bugs (affectionate)

[fictionalbugreviews]

hideous mass. hideous mass

Hideous Mass (ULTRAKILL)

Weird scorpion lobster shrimp. He is made of meat. Mmmostly accurate solely from a "he has the limbs" perspective

I am a fan of a hideous mass but Honestly would not immediately register the bug shape. he has a human face, unfollowed

RATING: 🐛🐛.5

[jessicatransfem]

i love this fanbase

[m-b1z]

I made a Doom VS Ultrakill uhh writing?? Review??? Idk.

Doom Eternal and Ultrakill. I have both games.

Neither are better, though Ultrakill is more fun to me. My opinion.

Doom Eternal is kind of slow, there are a lot of controls too. I'm still getting used to them, but that is my fault. There is some parkour in Doom which is weird because, you don't move fast enough to properly parkour.

Ultrakill is fast, sometimes too fast. Sometimes I can't keep up with what I'm doing and die. It's hard playing the game like a normal shooter, which is what i used to do because I wasn't used to Ultrakill's style, but I eventually got used to it.

Doom is fun, you get to rip and tear through enemies in great bloody detail. Very fun you don't do that in Ultrakill. There are also puzzles, which can be fun to figure out, the guns in Doom are very satisfying, the autoshotgun is great. The music is awesome.

Ultrakill is fun, it's fast paced. You get to demolish enemies in waves with polygonal blood (I think that's the word). You get to jump everywhere, the bosses are hard, but very satisfying to learn and beat. The music is also great.

Both are great games, but they aren't just both FPS's. They are meant to be played in different ways, you really can't compare them without being unfair.

•Edit•

Please keep in mind. I am not a professional writer, i don't know how to make a review or anything like this. I am simply just trying my best.

[weirdbeancurd]

help lol (looking for a peer reviewer!)

im probably gonna need someone to peer review the final chapter of my ULTRAKILL fic "Attempted Apologies" (check my posts if you haven't read it, if you want to of course lol), so lmk if youre interested! Just reblog or dm or whatever if you wanna volunteer and ill send it when my draft is fully done. :D

[paintchipstastegood]

ultrakill reviews are fucking unhinged