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thetwistedsanity · 12 years ago

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Well hi to anyone reading this,

I thought I should let you all know it is my perfect bestfriend's birthday today. She's 16 yes, legal to have sex. My bestfriend is growing up. Okay really what am I saying I'm only 11 days older than you. Alright so, I told you I was going to write you a huge ass post and when I say "huge ass post" you know it's going to be huge because, well, it's me we're talking about, I write too much sometimes but you know what, deal with it, okay? Okay. Now enjoy my Tigga.

This isn't going to only be a birthday post, it's going to be like a, happy, what.. 8 or 9 months of friendship? So yes, I'm going to embarrass the fuck out of us with fetus Tanielle posts. Aw, I'm so nice. But first, how "Tanielle" began, yes. Once upon a time, about 8 or 9 months ago, there were these two idiots named Danielle and Taylah who met the Janoskians in July of 2012. So I made a post about how I was going to meet them and you replied to it and we were freaking out together, even though we knew absolutely nothing about each other. So a few days later we met them, but we soon learned that you were meeting them at the Gold Coast and I had to meet them at Strathpine because I live in the ghetto (you know where I live and really it's more bogan than anything like really ok). I remember you made a post showing me the photos you took of them, oh look here's the post. LOOK AT THEIR GOD DAMN FLAWLESS FACES DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO RAPE THEM, UGH. We met them people should be jealous, and they called us babe, beautiful and sweetheart. -flips hair- But yes, without those 5 flawless as fuck guys there would be no "Tanielle" so really we owe all this to Janoskians. Everyone clap for Janoskians.

After we talked to each other about Janoskians we didn't exactly speak again for about a month or two? I'm not sure, but I do know one of us messaged each other and was all "hey girl, I miss you!" But not typed like that, more of an embarrassing way that will not be show because we acted like complete fucks back then (still do but you know oh god). Then really, that's what started our friendship again, well not again but it just, took off from there really. We talked everyday, and when we didn't speak everyday it just felt weird. We stayed up till midnight, ON SCHOOL NIGHTS, talking to each other, learning more about each other and we soon discovered we have basically everything in common. And when I say "everything" it's literally everything, like we are actually twins. It's quite scary how much we are alike and how much we have in common. We even say the same thing to each other, at the exact same time. If that isn't some scary twin shit then I don't know what is.

Then Summer holidays came and thank God for us we live in the same country, same time zone and same type of schooling system so we had exactly the same amount of holidays, went back on holidays at the same time and went back to school at the same time. Summer holidays, we spent literally every second talking to each other. Staying up till like 3am in the morning everyday, talking about the stupidest shit, oh and can't forget, highlight of our god damn holidays.. Crying over boys who make us have stupid feelings. DON'T YOU JUST HATE HOW THEY DO THAT. But really, there's no other person I'd rather spend crying my heart out with. You just really understand me when it comes to that stuff, and you understand why I'm always the stupid one who does it over and over again. Oh and our lovely bitch sessions about everything, how cute of us. Can't forget, me introducing you to the show Shameless and us falling in love with Lip. God damn that boy, okay he deserves a gif in this post. This boy has the hottest moans known to man kind I just, can I have sex with him.

Alright moving on. So holidays ended we got all annoyed and shit because school was back, how great. Oh and not to mention, you were only going back to school for a few weeks, and THEN YOU HAD TO LEAVE ME TO GO TO THE PHILIPPINES. We barely talked for a month. Can we just put emphasis on that. A month. MONTH. M O N T H. Okay enough emphasis, but really a month without a lot of talking is major for us because since we met we've been freaking inseparable. But it's okay now, you're back, and everything is normal again with talking, huhu. Except our holidays are almost over and then back to hell, hates everything.

So. Let's go down memory lane of Tanielle.

Aw, we're such sluts.

What about the time I bought up sex when your mum was with you. I'm pretty sure it'll be awkward for me meeting your mum now. Just be all "Hi I'm the girl who mentioned sex to your daughter when you were sitting next to her." Great times.

Seriously I have a whole file of stupid ass conversations of ours but I shouldn't post them because really if people see what else we talk about then we'll have no more friends, whatsoever. But just really, we have the best conversations and no other conversations can compare to ours. Just saying, sometimes I think we were both dropped as a baby with some of the shit we say. Like, really. We have major issues and it wouldn't surprise me if we were dropped as babys, or as you said, thrown at a wall.

Okay now, let's talk about who we are and what people resemble us. First of all, Luke and Jai Brooks. They're twins. We're twins (not really but mentally). Just they're the guy versions of us, really. Next, Selena and Vanessa. Literally us. The height difference, the attitude, the fact that Vanessa is tanner than Selena, yeah us. They're the best to describe our friendship. But continuing, we have Charlotte and Holly. Alright these girls are obviously us, but they're english, we're Australian. So. The way they constantly talk about sex, yeah that's us, the way they talk about getting drunk, yeah us. THEIR CRYING OVER BOYS, US ALL OVER. Their friendship, taking care of each other and at the same time embarrassing each other, aw us. And definitely the way they do not give a fuck about what people say about their friendship. Oh forgot, their swearing, huhuhu. Just to mention all the other friendships that are us. Hanna and Aria, Snooki and Jwoww. There's more but I'm having a mental block right now.

(omfg us really)

Really, I should be getting to the point of this post.. IT'S YOUR 16TH BIRTHDAY, YOU'RE FINALLY LEGAL TO HAVE SEX LIKE I AM, YAY FOR TANIELLE BEING VLUTS. Alright so, I hope you have the greatest birthday today and that you get everything you want and more because it's YOUR day today, and don't you dare let anyone fuck it up for you, okay? I hope you're so happy today and remember to smile because your smile is perf like you. Don't get too drunk though, I wouldn't want you standing on a park bench, screaming "YOLO!!" What.. Who did that? Not naming anyone.. DANIELLE! ;) But really, I hope you have the greatest birthday ever. You deserve it.

Just remember, you're beautiful, you're amazing, you're everything wonderful and you're my perfect bestfriend. I couldn't ask for any better. I love you so so much, and again, happy birthday!

#danielle #uhmontez #happy birthday bby

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