#uhhhh this is like a last minute post cause I had nothing else to post

[5h0w1sh]

Commissions are open!!

[aquaticstyles]

to do list

hi everyone! i know it’s early, but i stayed up all night writing and simply couldn’t wait to post. 4.8k of some bf!harry ahead (including my first attempt at smut... pls feel free to tell me if it sucks). of course, reblogs + feedback make my heart soar 💓💕💖💘💗💞

You think the scene before you cannot be real. Without a doubt, you must be dreaming, sleepwalking, eyes still seeing through a rose-colored, innocent hue that can only belong to your imagination.

Dew drops cling onto freshly cut blades of emerald grass, spray-painting the ground in a silver cast, sparkling, glistening. Birds sing a perfectly pitched hymn, their orchestra being the gentle whistle of the wind that rustles the branches of the trees in your backyard, new with springtime buds the bees generously catered to. There are the roses, sitting pretty in their beds, still slightly drooping from their abandonment of the glowing mass in the atmosphere, pouting in velvet pink. A dragonfly brushes past the French doors in front of you, and you swear you notice it's hesitation, almost tempted by the glass, almost fooled by the facade, almost daring to dart into the comfort of your home, blocked off by the rest of the outside world. Then there's a lone butterfly, fluttering, strikingly contrasting against the green with its pompous red wings outlined intricately in black ink. The sun rises slowly over her horizon, sluggishly being pulled on a string by an invisible hand buried beneath bundles of clouds pocketed throughout the sky turning more blue as each second ticks by. Watercolor, drops of salmon and peach twirling about one another, accidentally on purpose creating an orange hue to the world below, that is now waking again, a fresh start, a new day.

You simply must be dreaming.

Picking apart the clementine you had selected as your sunrise viewing snack, you watch the scene before you unfold, a rubix cube solving itself before your very own eyes. Sweet and sour juices cascade down your throat, and you notice the uncanny resemblance the fruit in your palm mirrors to the morning. You know the picturesque serenity will soon fade away, turning sour as children awake from their slumbers and car engines are started back up again, but you enjoy the sweet while it remains.

Startling you from your daze, you feel a warm body suddenly press up against your backside, arms encircling your waist, cold palms resting against your exposed stomach, creating a valley of goosebumps in their wake. You relax immediately into his touch, snuggling into him and sighing as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

"Your hands are freezing," you whisper to him, careful not to disturb nature.

Without a word, he smooths his palms up and down the skin of your tummy in a fast pace in hopes of warming them. After doing so for a couple seconds, now satisfied with the new temperature, he sinks his hands cheekily beneath the band of your underwear, fingertips resting on each hip, using your cotton panties as a blanket.

You almost snicker at his antics, but choose instead to offer him the last piece of your fruit, hovering it over where you imagine his mouth to be near your shoulder. He happily accepts your donation, chapped lips wrapping around your two fingers, a tongue darting out momentarily, teasingly. Out of the corner of your eye you see a smirk fall upon his face as he munches on the fruit, the deep crevice of a dimple forming for only a second. You focus your gaze back on the sun, who has already risen significantly higher in the few minutes Harry had stolen your attention.

As if to thank you for orange, Harry presses a kiss to your skin, then decides after five seconds that one was not enough, for you feel his lips drag across the expanse of your bare shoulder, making their way to the base of your neck. A sticky residue of juice is left behind as his tongue licks your skin, sucking, nipping, biting, causing your eyes to flutter shut and an appreciative hum to rise from the back of your throat. Your head tilts back, allowing the man showing you his love more access. His palms move from their previous shelter underneath your panties, a single finger ghosting up your skin, poking your bellybutton, until it moves beneath the thin tank top you're sporting, tracing the valley of your chest. Two palms encase your breasts, massaging slowly, and your nipples pebble beneath the all-too-familiar touch. Humming again, you get lost in the way Harry has encased you in your third dream of the day.

"You're bein' nice. Should give you a piece of my orange more often," you snicker as Harry flicks your nipple once before encircling his arms around your waist again, hugging you, sinking into your quicksand. He gently sways the two of you, molten together like two pieces of chocolate underneath a beachy sun, one silhouette.

"Mmm..." he hums, and you know he's about to say something else as he presses one final peck beneath your ear, resting his chin back on your shoulder.

A few minutes pass by in silence, and you patiently await the first mumblings of your boyfriend, expecting the special, raspy voice that belongs to early Harry. Unlike the rasp that occurs after a show, or the rasp after a bitter fight, this one is your favorite, because you're the only one who gets to hear it. You're the only one that gets his mornings.

"Wanna have sex?"

You blink at the sudden abrupt and blunt statement interrupting your sentimental thinking. Chuckling softly at your two contrasting mindsets, you tease him, "Bored already? It's not even 7 yet."

"Not bored," Harry lifts his head, pretending to be shocked at your accusation as he spins your body around in his arms so he can finally get a good look at you. He notices the smile already plastered on your face as you turn into view, and he thinks that he would do anything to capture you in this moment and keep it locked away in his chest forever. "Jus' wanna have sex with you. Love havin' sex with you."

You run your hands up Harry's bare chest and begin to fiddle with the chain hanging around his neck, thumbing over the plated cross that has ironically swung over you countless times, "Gotta check this off the to do list?"

You're only joking, but the sudden frown that washes over Harry's face makes you think he didn't pick up on that. Suddenly ever-so-serious, creases form between his brow, "Sex with you is never something to just mark off my to do list."

"No?" you raise your eyebrows and fold your hands behind his neck, tugging gently at the curls there, twirling them around your pointer finger.

With a quick and firm shake of his head to confirm his sentiment, he places a loving kiss on your cheek, then the other one, then on the center of your pout, lingering there for a moment before sneakily slipping his tongue into your mouth and massaging it languidly against yours, the tangy bitterness of the orange encircling the two of you, making your toes curl and your hands slide into the curled mess sitting atop your lover's head, knots from a deep slumber, a rats nest begging for a comb, but your fingers will simply have to suffice.

"Love you," he mumbles as he pulls away, speaking his mind yet directly from his heart all at once.

You can't help but grin at him, the sunlight from the view you were ogling over mere seconds ago casting a perfect golden hue onto his tanned skin. You're so close you can see every pore, every beauty mark, every scar. If you closed your eyes you would be able to trace his skin with ease, knowing every landmark on his road map, knowing every bit and piece of Harry that makes him Harry. He's so familiar to you, a body you know sometimes better than your own, a body you're always longing for, regardless of the countless of times you've made love by now. There's something so innocently intimate about this moment, something so casual and domestic.

You wish to capture him right now, in this very instant, with curls that have definitely looked worse but definitely looked better, glistening pink lips that are still slightly chapped from their lack of use through the night, a slight stubble around his jaw and below his nose, eyebrows crisscrossed in a chevron pattern that is entirely unnoticeable unless you're peering directly into his sleepy eyes (paired with faint purple circles underneath), in nothing but a pair of briefs, one leg hiked up significantly higher than the other (most likely due to the starfish position he chose to undertake in sleep last night), and lock it away in a special place in your mind forever.

This is Harry. Your Harry. The version of him reserved just for you.

And how could you say no?

"Okay," you smile as you watch his eyes light up like a school boy sneaking his first kiss against the tree on the playground, a million fireworks exploding in a forest.

In one sudden, swift movement, Harry swings your body over his shoulder with ease, as if you weigh nothing more than a sheet of paper. Now seeing the world upside down, you erupt into a burst of giggles, your hair swinging below you as your boyfriend begins to maneuver around your home. The sunrise slowly defocuses, shifting out of your view as the replacement sunshine carries you towards your bedroom.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking you know," you manage to speak out between laughs, and you imagine there's undoubtedly a bulging vein at the center of your forehead from your current position.

"Hush," is all he says in response, paired with a couple pats on your bum that is so conveniently placed on his shoulder. "Bed or shower?"

"Uhhhh," you begin, now having a perfect view of your living room as Harry now stands in the doorway of your bedroom. Drumming your hands on the backs of his thighs in contemplation, you weigh your options, "Last time we did it in the shower you almost slipped and broke your neck so-"

"Your fault for using so much bloody conditioner-"

"Thought you liked my conditioner, said it smelled like roses-"

And then he's throwing you on top of the mattress, your back colliding with the plush duvet, and head sinking into the array of pillows Harry simply has to have (the first night he spent at your place, you only had two. the next time he came over, a dozen new pillows sat crammed in his backseat, claiming it was good for "neck and back support"). You barely have a second to think before he's crawling over you, palms placed on each side of your head, his knees trapping you against your hips. Fanning out, your hair creates a halo around you, making you look even more of an angel the man hovering above you sees you as. Out of the corner of your eye you see one of his rings twinkle in the singular beam of sunlight peaking through your curtains, and you can't help the smile that warms your face.

"What are yeh smilin' at?" Harry grins, peering down at you below him. He looks ethereal, tattoos contrasting and standing out even in the darkness masking the room, thick biceps flexing as they hold his body up above yours, smiling in that way he does only when he's around his other half. He belongs in a gallery, framed in gold trim, available to be studied and fawned over. Yet here you are, selfishly adoring what the masses wish they could view, an unbothered bliss.

"Nothin," you respond, locking your arms behind his neck, scratching his scalp lightly, it feels like the first ten chews of bubble gum, squishing a marshmallow between your fingertips, a fruity piña colada on a hot summer's day, and he hasn't even touched you yet. "just love you."

And you do. So much it consumes you. So much it hurts. So much you'd dive head first into shark infested waters if it meant feeling his palm against your cheek.

And if you thought that smile of his couldn't possible grow any bigger, you're proven wrong yet again. He catches your lips between his, suckling on your bottom lip before slipping his tongue in your mouth, licking into you as if you're the last bucket of water on earth and he's parched, shriveling at the seams. It's like his one mission in life was to move his tongue against yours, and he's perfected his craft flawlessly. His body presses down against yours, needing contact, gently grinding his bulge that is growing with each rotation of his hips against your clothed core.

"Love you so much," he mumbles in between sloppy kisses, noses bumping every so often, causing a few giggles to interrupt the sweet silence.

After removing your shirt in one swift movement, desperate to reveal the miles upon miles of skin he never tires of studying, his lips soon travel south, leaving a piece of his heart in their tracks from the corner of your mouth, to beneath your ear, to your jaw, to your breasts, to your tummy, to your hip bone.

"Can I have a taste darlin'? Please? M'achin' for it," ringed hands run up and down the sides of your abdomen before they encircle your thighs, spreading them apart so a mess of caramel curls can settle between them, nails creating half-moons onto your skin.

A breathy exhale releases from you as he brushes his nose exactly against where he knows your clit is, ghosting the pad of his thumb against it once teasingly. Hooded green eyes peer into yours from their position between you, and you think you'd like to have this photograph etched into your brain for eternity. Your lover, in between your legs, begging to lick you until your thighs shake.

"Can smell yeh angel, makin' my mouth water. Gonna let me taste yeh fo' a bit?" His accent is huskier, low and raspy, shavings of dark chocolate sprinkled on a bitter raspberry tart.

And again, how on earth could you say no?

"Please H," you grasp onto the cusp of a chestnut curl, gripping onto it as your life depends on it as Harry quite literally dives into you.

Your underwear is thrown and forgotten across the room as his lips attack your folds, tongue licking into you and spreading you apart in a way that only Harry can do. You're a watermelon cracked open on the deck of a yacht, juice dribbling onto to sugar-high-chasing chins. Prickles of his facial hair rub against you in the most agonizingly amazing way, and you yelp when he delivers a harsh suck to your clit right off the bat, moaning and whining underneath his touch.

His tongue doesn't miss a single spot, devouring you and causing your heart to thump harshly against your chest. Suddenly and abruptly, Harry inserts a finger into your entrance, curling it inside you and pumping it in and out a couple times before adding another. His fingers and tongue simultaneously work you, and if your brain hadn't turned to jelly, you'd be delivering a speech consisting of his name and various other praises.

"Gimme a good one, lover," he demands, his lips vibrating against you. When his lips move to suck harshly on your clit yet again as his fingers repeatedly hit that one cushiony spot inside you, you're sent over the edge, curling your toes, moaning relentlessly, and jerking your hips abruptly, causing harry's large palms to trap them back down against the mattress.

He's a professional, an artist, painting you with each lick of his tongue against your nerves, each curl of his fingers inside of you, making a masterpiece out of you as you ride out your wave of pleasure, coasting it until it crashes against the shore. His starry night.

And when you finally chase down your high, and Harry's still licking your folds, you tug his roots away from you, wiggling from overstimulation. A whine leaves Harry's cherry lips as he's tugged back to you. A smirk warms his face, a dimple reappearing, and his thumb brushes the corner of his mouth, catching some of your arousal, before it sinks between his glistening lips. Sucking the remnants of you from his finger, he hums, "tastes like clementines."

His words send you into a frenzy, a vampire flung into a blood drive, and you grasp onto his shoulders and flip him roughly onto his back, straddling him and trapping his lips in a kiss before any objections can leave them. His hands encase your back, scratching here and rubbing there. You can still taste you on his tongue as it swirls against your own, and when you take his lower lip between your teeth, he lets out a throaty groan, lifting his hips to rut against your sensitive core to relieve himself for just a moment.

"Achin' aren't you baby?" You ask, tracing your fingers over the butterfly stamped on his chest, to the ferns above his v-line, to the sparse patch of coarse hair right above his underwear that sits low on his waist. Palming over the fabric, you feel how hard and thick he's gotten, and you can only imagine how frustrated he must be.

"Fuck, yeah. Fuck me angel, please. Always achin' for yeh," Harry whimpers, green eyes nearly bulging out of his skull as he watches you teasingly toy with the band of his underwear, tracing the skin right above where he needs you most.

You tap his hip bone twice, and he obliges by lifting his hips, allowing you to drag his underwear to his feet and fling them across the room, undoubtedly joining yours somewhere. He loves when you take charge, loves when you tell him what to do without even verbally saying anything. You could do anything to him, and he'd love it. He's so caught up in your orbit he'd completely miss the asteroid hurtling towards him at a thousand miles per hour.

And when his cock springs up against his stomach, tip red and glistening with precum, your mouth literally waters.

How the fuck can a dick be that pretty?

Crawling back over to him, you gently twist your fingers around his member, giving him a few pumps that causes his head to roll back against the pillow, veins bulging in his neck as a loud groan leaves his open lips. His eyes flutter shut as you stroke him, and you're nearly about to go down on him when he interrupts your thoughts.

"Put me in darlin', won't last if yeh keep doin' that. Wanna feel your pretty cunt wrapped around me, yeah?"

And you don't have to be told twice.

Lining him up with your entrance, you slowly sink down onto him inch by inch, hissing at the faint burn that always comes with him stretching you out like this, especially after his tongue already worked wonderful magic on you mere minutes ago. Harry moans, praising and chanting your name in whispers. His face is pulled in pleasure, eyebrows furrowing, lips open as heavy pants leave them.

As soon as you get to the base of him, you take a moment to adjust before slowly working up a rotation of your hips, circling around him and rubbing your clit on his pelvic bone in the process, sending an overwhelming wave of goosebumps down your spine. Harry's hands move up and down your back, to your ass, to your pebbled nipples, massaging and coasting over every single centimeter of skin he can reach.

Creating a rhythm, you begin to sink up and down on his cock, causing your tits to bounce as you pick up the pace. He's filling you up in the best way imaginable, hitting every spot, encompassing every inch. You can't tell where he stops and you begin, waterfalls inter-joining and cascading down together, intertwined in harmony and mind-numbing pleasure. The sound of your skin slapping together is music to your ears, a sweet symphony of your bodies exuding love.

"Harry god," you moan when his tip reaches that one spot inside you, eyes rolling back, tilting your head in a way that broadcasts the expanse of your neck dotted with purple bruises from Harry's lips, and your chest, breasts glistening with beads of sweat.

"Like that angel? Like when yeh ride me like this?" Harry groans at the sight of you, a masterpiece fucking him so well he nearly forgets his name. You're glowing, a shining mass far too bright for him, and he almost debates jetting off for his sunglasses. "Know yeh do. Fuckin' perfect. Ridin' me so well angel, tha's it."  

It's paradise, toes sinking into beds of sand, observing the sun as it sinks into the ocean, leaving an array of creamsicle in its path, a massage from warm palms after a hard week hunched over a computer, finally finishing the book you've started three times, dog-earing the pages with passages that jump out to you, a cold shower when the air-con is out, sweaty bodies lost under the brief escape of the chilling water. It's perfect. It's you and Harry.

He can't take his eyes off you, not wanting to miss a single second of this, barely blinking so he can come back to each frame and rewatch this film over and over and over again. Moving his palms against your sides, he watches as your breasts move up and down, and he can't help the next words that tumble out of his mouth, ""Your tits are fuckin' dynamite have I ever told you that?"

Locking eyes with your lover, you smile widely, pearly whites broadcasted in an ear-to-ear grin at his ability to say something so completely Harry in this intimate moment. You let one giggle escape your lips, briefly shaking your head at the man, causing a lock of your hair to fall out of place and over your eyes.

His knuckles brush the stray away so it doesn't block your view of him beneath you, and then he cups your cheek and grins, an eternal sunshine radiating his heat onto you, "Wha'? It's true. Your tits are fuckin' incredible. Can't believe I get to see 'em."

Feeling nothing but pure adoration, you observe the same look in his eye, his smile sparkling beneath you, eyes twinkling into yours as if a projector is relaying the words "I love you" in a cursive script across his irises. Blinking once, taking a snapshot of his face right now, you lean into his touch and place a kiss to his palm, "Thanks lover."

Clenching your walls around him, Harry loses his train of thought and releases an ear-splitting moan, one that nearly makes you cum in that very instant. His hand moves from your cheek to your side again, both palms squeezing your hips. He bites his lip so hard it almost draws blood, his cock twitching as it buries inside you, skin on skin, absolutely no barriers. "My lover," he mumbles, eyes darting off to where your bodies are connecting, watching your pussy slide up and down his cock.

Your thighs begin to burn, and you feel that all too familiar feeling bubble in your abdomen, foam overflowing a cappuccino. Placing your palms on his chest, you hover over him, grinding your hips repeatedly, "Your lover. The only one."

He wraps his hands around your wrists, bringing them to his lips to kiss the back of your hands, then pecking each one of your fingers, mumbling in between each token of his affection, "Only one that can fuck me like this angel, only one."

Once he releases his hold on your hands, he moves one of his fingers down to your clit, flicking the bundle of nerves in a way that causes you to cry out, "Fuck, Harry, I'm gonna-,"

"There we are," he smirks, watching you lose it before his very eyes, and he knows when your brow begins to furrow that you're close to unraveling again, "go ahead darlin' come on your cock. It's yours."

Your movements become sloppy, no longer fluid and concentrated like before as you run after your orgasm. Still desperate to prolong this feeling as longer as possible, you pick up the pace even more, riding him faster despite your body's oncoming exhaustion. His finger continues to linger where you need it, playing with you and sending wave after wave of pleasure through you.

"Fuck, that's it," Harry's raspy praises causes a flush to rise to your chest and cheeks, "Not far behind yeh lover keep goin'."

He loves the way you look when you come, the way your face twists and your mouth drops in the shape of an O, strawberry lips glistening in ecstasy, begging for a taste. Sweat running down your chest and lingering on your temples, messy hair frizzy from the pillow and his fingertips, golden skin shining in the low-light. But he particularly loves the way you never ever shut your eyes, even though sometimes the waves are so euphorically catastrophic you're tempted to let your eyes rest to absorb the moment fully. Yet here you are right now, candle wax melting above him into a sea of warm rose water, peering directly into his eyes, revealing every word you wish you could say. A whimper, Right there. A moan, I love you.

And once he's viewed the sight beautiful enough to blind him, he's coming as well, his cock twitching as he releases warm spurts of him inside of you. As soon as you feel him soften, you lift up off of him and collapse on top of his sweaty chest, limbs exhausted and body spent from your two orgasms. You rest your head on a swallow, the steady heartbeat of your lover echoing softly into your eardrum, gooey caramel summersaulting over cotton candy skies, a chilling ice cube plummeting and disappearing into a hot tub, steaming, steady, Styles.

Harry presses a kiss to your forehead, lips lingering for a moment, I. two, Love, three, You. One hand rests on your piping back, scratching lightly up and down, while the other strokes your hair away from your face, a touch so soft and delicate as if he'd break you into a million pieces if he's not too fragile. Precious cargo.

"Love you," you mumble, nearly half asleep as his touch sends another wave of soothing calmness through your nerves, unaware that the exact same words were repeating over and over through his brain in this moment.

Harry smiles, a wide, bunny-tooth grin, and even though you can't see it, you know it's there, for his heartbeat quickens ever-so-slightly.

"Love you, angel. So much."

It's laying here, post-sex, in the comforting silence of your home, that you think you quite like these moments more than any others. The ones that are so simple and habitual one would deem them unimportant, a cup of tea gone cold, last Sunday's paper. These moments are what make you feel the closest to Harry, behind closed doors, just you and him, in your own bulletproof bubble, making love, starting and ending each day, together. And you think you quite like the idea of spending forever in that bubble, watching the sunrise, sharing your clementine, and spending the day tangled in sheets with the man that has irreversibly stolen your heart.

Theirs was a brief beauty, autumn leaves before they fall to the ground, trampled on, forgotten. Yours was forever, an easy love, one that didn't have to try, one that flourished, even when the odds were pent against you. An easy love, a flourishing love, a habit you never wish to break. As simple as a well-known recipe, caramel-colored pages wilting from being passed by generations. As complex as learning the avenues and allies, hiding spots and hidden treasures of a new city. He was everything, the light, the dark, the beginning, the end.

And when you wake up the next morning, peering over your shoulder in the doorway of your shared bedroom to see that all too familiar starfish spread out and suctioned to the sheets, you smile, knowing that in only a couple of minutes he'd notice the left side of the bed had gone cold, springing up out of bed in search of his personal radiator, his lover. You trot to the kitchen, and right as you reach to grab a clementine, you notice a note that had not been there the night prior, stuck to the thick peel of the fruit.  

"To Do List:

   - Go on a run.    - Propose to girlfriend.    - Have sex with girlfriend fiancé.    - Call Mum.    - Buy more clementines."

[kimmietea]

Double Yikes! Part 2 (Ben Hardy x Reader)

Summary: Continuation of Double Yikes! Part 1

Warnings: Uhhhh.... Well I don't want to give anything away so...Read at your own risk

Continuation of Yikes! and Double Yikes! Part 1

A/N: Ok I know it's been a LONG time coming but I believe you will all think it was well worth the wait. Now I recommend you reread the whole Yikes! series before you read this one BUT it's not necessary. I've included a bit of where we last left off so you're all not completely lost. Thank you so much for those of you how stuck by and waited this thing out. I debated on telling you all this BUT I do have an idea for anther part... Reader goes to "help" Ben babysit. I haven't started it and I have no idea if I ever will but the idea is there and I promise if I do decide to do it I will write the entire thing first before posting so no one has to wait. Ok no more rambling lets get to it! Don't forget to tell me what you think and Italics is reader thinking to herself in her head!! Enjoy!!

TagList: @borhapqueen92 @radiob-l-a-hblah @gwendolyns-stacy @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @mythicmazzellos @hardforbenhardy @onceuponadetectivedemigod @im-an-adult-ish @theprettyandthereckless @mamaskillerqueen @cupboardzllo @goliveeasy17posts @okilover02 @gwilymleeisbae @youngpastafanmug

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"Thank you Ben, I had a really great time." He took a small step forward and placed one hand on your hip, your heart sped up. His hand felt heavy and the heat coming from him being so close spread through your entire body.

"So did I. Thank you for agreeing to go out with me tonight. I never do this kind of thing but I couldn't leave your office without a definite way to see you again." He laughed a little to ease his nerves, his head leaning slightly closer to you.

Oh god ok, breath

"Well I'm very glad you did." You said, much softer than you intended. Ben had his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as his eyes traveled over your face, landing on your lips. He was close and you could feel his breath across your face again, like at the restaurant. His heavy hand still firm on your hip, his thumb now rubbing along soothingly.

Please kiss me

He brought his other hand up to the side of your face, letting the tips of his fingers run over your cheekbone.

Pleeeease kiss me

You took a chance and placed your hand at the nape of his neck, letting your fingers intertwine in his hair. He smiled and licked his lips.

PAH-LEEAS KISS ME DAMN IT!

"Y/N, can I kiss you?" He whispered.

FUCKIN FINALLY!

Too afraid you'd actually say what you were thinking, you nodded. He smiled and leaned in slowly to close the space between you. You instantly felt an electric shock travel through you causing you to move closer towards him and tug on his hair. He moaned into the kiss and slid his hand from your hip to your back, pulling you flush against him.

You sighed at the feeling of him being pressed against you and your lips parted. Ben wasted no time and slid his tongue along yours. You moaned and let your unoccupied hand glide up his torso, feeling his tight muscles under his shirt to rest on his chest. Ben's hand that was near your face moved to join his other on your back.

Your entire body was on fire, your head spinning, either from the intensity of the kiss or the lack of oxygen, you weren't sure. Just when you were about to pull back to see if he wanted to move things inside, he slid one of his hands down to rest on the curve of your ass.

You whined and pushed back into his hand. He moaned and gripped your ass roughly, causing you to involuntarily snap your hips forward into his. He moaned again and finally pulled away. Ben was panting heavily, his lips were swollen and red, his cheeks flushed and warm. You were sure you looked the same.

Alright, say something cool and invite him inside

You opened your mouth to speak but he beat you to it.

"I can't do this." Your heart dropped and you could feel the color drain from your face.

But...but things were going so well. What happened? How did i fuck this up?

You could feel tears start to prick behind your eyes.

Do NOT cry in front of him!

“Right, ok.” You nodded sadly and stepped back, away from him. His hands fell from you and you reached for your keys.

"Wait Y/N, that came out wrong." He grabbed your hand and tried to get you to look at him. You shook your head, putting your keys in the lock and unlocking the door.

"No Ben, it's fine. You don't want to. I get it. No big deal." You managed to get out, finally looking up at him and gave him a tight lipped smile.

"But that’s just it, I do want to! Believe me, I do! God I've only been thinking about it since the moment i fuckin saw you." He laughed at himself and you felt a little better.

"Of course I want to. I mean it's obvious I want to." He gestured vaguely to his crotch where there was a definite bulge. You let your eyes glance down quickly.

God if he's that big after just a kiss I could only imagine...no no, time to focus stop it!

"But I'm supposed to be the perfect gentleman tonight, that’s what I meant, and that is definitely not the gentlemanly thing to do on the first date, as much as I'd love to." He paused.

"Maybe on the second date." He chuckled.

"You want a second date?" You asked, hopeful.

"Of course I do. I had an amazing time. You're smart, well spoken, gorgeous and funny as hell. And that kiss! I absolutely need more of that in my life." You laughed and he took a tentative step towards you. When you didn’t step away he wrapped his arms around you and you rested your head against his chest. His heart was pounding.

"Forgive me?"

You smiled up at him and nodded. He leaned down and kissed you again. It was softer this time, slower. He pulled away gently and rested his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed.

"Can I call you tomorrow?" He whispered.

"Definitely."

Alright if this isn't happening tonight i need to go inside before i start begging

You pecked his soft lips one last time and backed away from him. He took your hand in his before you were completely out of reach.

"Now I need to try to get to my car without any of your neighbors seeing me and think I'm some perv walking around your building with a damn hard on." You barked out a laugh and covered your face with your hand. When your eyes met his again that same look from the car and the restaurant was back. The butterflies also made a comeback.

We were just making out! What's with the butterflies! He is going to be the death of me, I swear.

"Goodnight beautiful, I’ll talk to you tomorrow." He said, kissed your hand.

“Goodnight Ben.” You said and he turned to leave. You entered your apartment and leaned against the door. You let out a frustrated groan.

UGGH. Damn you and your grogeous fuckin face and your perfect gentleman shit, your perfect lips and hands.

You were beyond sexualy fusterated and kicked your shoes off, tossed your purse on the table and went to the kitchen. You looked out the window over the sink just in time to see Ben get to his car. You watched him get in but he didn’t pull away.

I wish he would just come back up here and…

You ran to your purse and grabbed your cell, pressing Ben’s number. You had an idea. It rang twice before he answered.

“Miss me already love?” He joked down the line. His voice sounded so much deeper over the phone and you clenched your legs together. You walked back into the kitchen to watch out the window. He was still there.

“Something like that.” You laughed. “About that second date you mentioned.

“Absolutely, anytime.” You smirked.

“How about in about 10 minuntes?” He laughed

Oh that laugh

"10 minutes huh? Yeah, I think i'm free. What did you have in mind?" You started to make a pot of coffee and cleaned the small pile of dishes in the sink.

"I was thinking coffee maybe? I know this great little spot, super cheap but very good and it's incredibly close by." His deep chuckle made your heart jump and a wide grin spread across your face.

"Perfect. I'm on my way back up." You watched his car door open.

"Wait, give me 10 minutes to change."

"Change? I thought we were just having coffee at your place."

"No, we are. I just want to change." You finished the dishes and went to your room to pick up the clothes on the floor and somewhat make your bed.

"No way." He laughed.

"What?" You asked confused and threw the towels from your shower earlier in the hamper.

I should stop being such a slob

"That's not fair, I can't change."

"But this dress is killing me." You took a look around the room and figured it was good enough.

"Then why did you wear it tonight?"

"Cause I look hot in it!" You explained with a laugh and went back to the kitchen to look for something to have with your coffee. He hummed down the line and it made your toes curl causing you to stumble a little.

Christ, get it together

"Yeah you do."

Mmm he better get up here quick

"You have nothing in the car?" You asked, trying not to focus on the effect his voice alone had on you. You could hear rustling as he looked.

"I have gym clothes from earlier today. Would you like me to put those on?"

Oooh Ben in gym clothes...Ben at the gym, hot, sweaty, panting...tempting

"Depends? How bad do they smell?" You joked.

"Y/N!"

"Fine fine, I won't change. I guess 'Cafe Y/N' is open for business then."

"I'll be right up." He laughed.

I love how easy it is with him

You hung up and finished getting the coffee ready and set it, along with everything else on the small table in the kitchen and put some music on softly in the background. The knock at the door came and your entire body went cold.

Oh fuck why am I so nervous all of a sudden. Get your shit together. Let’s go!

You walked to the door and your heart began to race. If you didn’t know the cause then you’d be worried you were about to have a heart attack. A few more deep breaths, a quick adjustment to your dress and a hair check before you opened the door with fake confidence.

What the shit!

He left his jacket in the car and had untucked his shirt and unbuttoned it completely so the black tank top that was covering his chest could be seen. It also looked like he ran his hands through his hair, breaking it of its hold from whatever product he had used. Or maybe that was from you during the kiss earlier. Either way he looked incredible.

Fuckin hell

“I thought we weren’t changing.” You commented as cool as possible. He laughed and ran a hand through his already tousled hair. Your knees gave out slightly and you gripped the door tighter.

“I didn't change. I altered.” He smirked.

Wow second date Ben is a little cocky...I like

“Cheater, I can’t alter mine.” You joked and moved to the side letting him in. He kissed your cheek as he passed and walked inside.

“I can think of a few ways.” He muttered under his breath.

“What was that?” You asked, smiling to yourself and led him to the kitchen.

“Oh nothing.” His cheeks were pink, his lip bit between his teeth. You took a seat at the table and Ben took the seat closest to you, then moved it even closer, the sides of your thighs touching.

“So welcome to cafe Y/N.” You gestured to the table. “Where the coffee is decent and the cookies are probably stale and expired because I don’t remember buying them.” You laughed with a shrug. Time with Ben seemed to fly by. Before you knew it an hour had gone by. Your nerves had settled enough for you two to just sit, talk and joke freely while you sipped your coffee. Neither of you had dared to touch the cookies.

Ben was telling you about an audition he had coming up when the song changed over. ‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow by Roberta Flack started to play and your over anxious mind started to wander and you completely zoned out.

Things are so easy with him. It's never been like this with anyone before. I don’t want to be another notch. What if I never hear from him again after tonight?

“Y/N, you alright love?” Ben asked, pulling you out of your thoughts, his voice laced with concern.

Oh shit how long have I not been paying attention

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine.” You shook your head to get rid of your self destructive thoughts.

No, things are different with Ben. This won't be the last time we see each other, I can feel it.

“You sure?” He asked, one hand on the back on your chair and the other now rubbing soothingly on your thigh. You smiled and placed your hand on top of his, giving it a squeeze.

“Yeah, I’m good. I promise. I think my hair is too tight.” You said and raised your arms to let it out of the bun. You pulled the hair tie and ran your fingers through your hair. You groaned as the tension in your head broke, relief washed over you. Because you put it up earlier when it was wet, it had dried in nice, flowing waves. You ran your hand though it a few more times before letting it settle over your shoulder. When your eyes landed on Ben again he was staring at you. A look of awe on his face. Now it was your turn to ask.

"You ok?" You asked with an amused smile.

"My god you are truly breathtaking." He breathed. It felt like the wind was knocked from you, hard to breath. Like when you were a kid roller skating and you fell on your bottom, your breath ripped from your lungs.

Well that’s different

You ducked your head, letting your hair fall over your face to hide your now red cheeks. Ben’s hand that was on the back of your chair moved to push your hair from your face and stayed on the slope of your neck.

“You don’t need to hide from me.” He said softly. The air in your small kitchen felt thick and heavy. The pull towards him that you were feeling all night was stronger now than ever. You heard the song switch over, ‘Movement by Hozier’. It only added to the charge in the room.

Perfect

His hand on your thigh moved just enough so the very tips of his fingers slid the tiniest bit under the hem of your dress. The heat from his hand spread though your entire body making you yearn for more of his touch. You pressed into his hand on your neck and he leaned forward. Your hand found its way to the back of his neck again, tangling in his hair and pulling him closer, pressing your foreheads together. His hand moved from your neck to your hair, mirroring you. His other hand moved again, now the entire length of his fingers under your dress. Your eyes slipped shut and you took a shaky breath, you moved to let your lips touch his just the slightest bit, barely touching.

“I don’t want you to think I do this all the time.” He whispered against your lips.

“I don’t.” You whispered back. He pressed the smallest kiss to your lips before returning to just resting there.

“There’s something different about you.” He confessed.

Are you a mind reader

“It’s just...it’s easy with you.”

Definitely a mind reader

“You feel it too right? Please don’t say it’s just me?” Even with your eyes closed you could tell he had a worried expression on his beautiful face. He knew just what to say to make any worries you had vanish in seconds.

“No, It’s not. I feel it too.” You felt his lips stretch into a smile before he finally pressed them to yours in a proper kiss. It was nothing like the kiss at your door, that was soft and gentle. Now it was hot, needy and a little rough. Knowing you both were on the same page had changed things, you didn't need to be so cautious and nervous anymore.

Both of your hands were in his hair, scratching his scalp and tugging at it gently only to be rewarded with the most amazing moans and groans from him. His hand moved from your hair down to your back pulling you closer to him, you would be flush against him if it wasn't for the angle you were sitting. His other hand moved to the inside of your thigh, gripping the soft flesh in his rough hand.

Come on just a bit higher

You're not sure how much time had passed but by the time he pulled away and moved to your neck, you were a panting mess. Your head was spinning as Ben nipped and kissed your neck, your breathing so uneven you could barely get any words together.

“Ben” You panted, he hummed against your skin in response but refused to detach himself. You moaned at the vibrations and you thought about how wonderful that would feel someplace else. Your hand tightened in his hair and he groaned, biting on your skin harder than before and tightening his grip on your thigh.

“Fuck, Ben.” He smirked against you and moved to your collarbone where he pressed soft kisses. The change helped to slow your breathing and stop your head from spinning so much. You tried to get his attention again.

“Ben” You managed to get out a whisper.

“What is it love?” He pulled back and looked into your eyes. They were just as stunning as the first time you saw them earlier that day. Same unplaceable green shade, only now much darker, filled with lust and desire. His face flushed and hair was a mess.

Fuck he is beautiful

“Bedroom?” You asked, hopeful. He smiled sweetly before pressing a kiss to your lips. He stood and held his hand out for you to take.

“Lead the way.” You stood on shaky legs and took his hand. You stumbled on the way to your room. Ben pressed himself fully against your back, his excitement for what was happening very evident. With his hands gripping your waist and his lips attached to your neck, you tried not to run into the door frame on your way into the room.

Once in your room Ben kicked his shoes off while continuing his endless stream of kisses and bites on your neck. He brushed your hair to one side and laid it over your shoulder, revealing your entire upper back to him. His hands gently touched and caressed the exposed skin everywhere he could. His lips flowing close behind, leaving soft kisses every place his hands touched.

Your skin was on fire, the wetness between your legs building with every press of his lips, a few more minutes and you'd feel it drip down your legs for sure. Ben moved his hands to the zipper on your dress and kissed his way to your ear.

"This okay?" He breathed and tugged on the zipper gently. You nodded, needing to feel his hands on your skin again. He slowly unzipped your dress, crouching to let his lips follow all the way to the end, at your lower back. When he stood again he brought his hands to your shoulders, gently pushing the straps down. You raised your arms, letting the dress drop to the floor and pool at your feet.

Your heart was racing as you stood there almost naked. Your nerves were skyrocketing. You closed your eyes and tried to steady your breathing. You felt Ben move from behind you to stand in front of you. His hand cupping the side of your face and his thumb running along your bottom lip.

"You alright my darling?" He asked gently. You took another deep breath and nodded, opening your eyes again.

"Nervous." You explained with a slight laugh. He chuckled and stepped in close.

"Don't be." He said. With his bottom lip between his teeth and his eyes even darker than before, he let his eyes glace down to your body, drinking you in before meeting your gaze again.

"You're perfect."

Fuckin wet! My god I could probably cum from his voice alone.

He ran his hands over your now exposed sides and down to your waist, pulling you flush against him. You slid your hands under his opened button down and pushed it off his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor with your dress.

Oh pin me to the wall with those arms!

You shift your hands down to his waist, letting them skim over his muscled arms on the way. You pulled the tank up over his toned stomach and chest, he raised his arms to let you remove it and it joined the pile on the floor. Your nails scratch gently down his chest, to his waist where you made quick work of removing his belt and pants. You rubbed over his bulge and he moaned, grabbing your face and pressing a searing kiss to your lips.

You continued to rub over him, feeling him grow harder as his tongue slid against yours. His hands moved from your face to your hair, he gripped a hand full and tugged gently. You hummed and squeezed him in your hand, he moaned and let one hand drop to your wrist, stopping you.

"Bed, now." He demanded, his eyes almost black, lips red and puffy and his breathing, much like yours was erratic.

Oh fuck, yes sir!

You jumped up on the bed, head propped up by the pillows. You let your eyes drift over his body as he stood by the side of the bed. He really was a sight. Every muscle sculpted to perfection, clear soft skin, you could go on for hours really. He looked at you with that small smirk of his that you were beginning to realise only came out when he was feeling a little brash.

“What’s that look for?”

“Just…” You let your eyes slowly rake over him again while you rubbed at your thighs. You licked your lips, making a show of it, before capturing the bottom one between your teeth.

“Admiring.” You finished in a sensual tone. He brushed a hand over his chest and stomach almost self-conscious or embarrassed before he joined you on the bed and crawled up your body until he reached your lips where he kissed you again. You let yourself melt into it, into him. Completely lost in the feel of his hands on your neck and face, the slick glide of his lips on yours. You didn't notice him maneuver himself so his leg was between yours until his knee was pressed hard against your center. You moaned loudly and grounded down against him. He moved his lips to your ear.

"That's it love, I wanna hear everything you've got." He whispered and moved his lips down, kissing over your collarbone to the tops of your breasts. His hands moved to your back, unclipped your bra and removed it completely. You sighed in relief, immediately followed by a moan as Ben took a nipple between his teeth. You arched into him suddenly desperate for more. Your hands flew to his hair as he started to suck.

“Oh fuck!” The feel of his tongue combined with the sensation of his sucking was driving you wild. You could feel your wetness start to soak through your underwear. He let his teeth scarpe over the sensitive bud before replacing his mouth with his hand and switching to the other. Your hands moved from his hair to his back where you ran your nails up and down. He dropped from his knees and rutted his hips against yours. His moan vibrated through your breast and over your entire body causing you to moan in turn. The pressure in your lower abdomen was growing at an alarming rate. The slick feeling between your legs almost like a slip and slide.

Christ am I about to cum from this alone!?

"Ben please….oh god...fuck Ben, stop stop! Please." He immediately stopped and looked up at you, worry etched in his features. You were sweaty and panting wildly, eyes screwed shut.

"Oh my god are you alright?"

Unable to form any words you nodded yes.

"Bad?" He asked fearfully.

"NO!" You shot up, eyes opened wide and almost headbutting him in the process.

Smooth

"Good! Very good, almost too good. “ You laid your head back down and closed your eyes again, trying to regain your breathing.

“I just...oh fuck, I just need a second. Holy fuck that has never happened to me before. This was all about to be over very quickly." You rambled. He threw his head back and laughed.

What I would give to make him laugh every day

"Oh, I like you." He sighed and moved his hand to gently caress over the side of your face. You cracked one eye open to look at him skeptically. A grin stretched across his face.

“What?” he chuckled. You closed your eyes again and made a face.

“I like you too.” You let out a squeak as he captured your lips with his once more. This kiss much like the one at the door, slow and sweet. You moaned, your hands sliding up and down his back encouragingly. He deepened the kiss, brushing his tongue against yours with such passion it caused you to buck your hips just slightly into his.

I never want this to end

Ben pulled away placing sweet pecks to your lips before pushing himself up to his knees again.

“Shall we pick up where we left off?” You chuckled and nodded.

“Let's just stay clear of this area for right now.” You said gesturing to your chest. He hummed and brought a hand to the side of your breast and massaged it gently. A shiver ran through your body and you clenched your legs together.

“Fine, but next time I’m going to worship your gorgeous body and I’m spending extra time up here.”

Next time? Does he really mean that or is he just saying it?

“Next time?”

“Next time.” He promised leaning down to kiss you once more before trailing down to your neck. You brought your hands up to tangle in his hair as he bit at a sensitive spot.

"Oh fuck." You sighed. He hummed in response and ran his tongue over the bite.

“I can’t wait to taste you.” He muttered into your skin, breathing in and taking in your scent. You shuddered at his words and whimpered when you raised your hips and was met with nothing as he hovered above you. He brought his lips up to your ear and took your lower lobe between his teeth. With one hand holding himself up he brought the other to the side of your neck. The heavy weight on your throat made your heart beat faster and your center throb. You covered his hand with yours and pressed, he got the hint instantly and tightened his grip. You moaned, bucking your hips again.

"Are you wet for me love?" He whispered, running his tongue along the shell of your ear. Unable to think clear enough to form words you nodded and whined.

"Use your words Y/N." His grip on your throat loosened and you took a deep breath before answering.

"Yes! So wet Ben, all for you." Your voice was hoarse. He smirked against your skin.

"That's my good girl." Your hand tightened in his hair at the praise. It was then you realized that you both still had your underwear on. That one final barrier keeping you from what you wanted.

"Ben... p-please." You pleaded. Desperate to get some friction, you rubbed your thighs together. Deciding to take some pity on you, he removed his hand from your throat and ran it down your body. Goosebumps followed in his wake, erupting over your skin. His hand slid between your legs and you gasped when it settled over your mound and the coolness of his fingertips touched the spot where you ached for him most.

You groaned and started to grind against his hand. His middle finger slipped under the cloth barrier and ever so slightly through your folds, gathering some of the wetness.

"Ben come on." You bucked your hips to meet his hand as he pulled it away.

"All in good time love" He said with a grin and brought his finger up to his lips. You watched with wide eyes as he pushed his finger into his mouth. His eyes slid shut and he moaned around his finger. You had enough of his teasing and decided to move things along a little faster. You sat up as best you could and flipped you both over. You settled on top, your legs straddling his waist.

“Damn” He sighed and looked up at you in awe. You smirked and began to grind against him. You could feel his hardness growing more under you. His hands gripped your waist and pulled you closer as his hips met yours. The friction of your underwear rubbing against you was just what you needed. Before you got too close you stopped to shimmy his boxers down his muscular thighs, groaning at the site of his large cock, red at the tip and leaking. You licked your lips unconsciously and took him in your hand, he gasped and pushed himself up on his elbows to kiss you again. Groaning as you pumped him, he moaned loudly when he looked down and saw your hand wrapped around him.

The pink color high on his cheeks and the darker red spreading from his neck down his chest spurred you on. Feeling neglected you brought one hand to the front of your underwear and began slowly rubbing your clit in a circular motion. Ben’s eyes moved from your hand on him to your hand on yourself. He licked his lips and groaned at the sight. He took hold of both your wrists, stopping your motions and quickly flipped you both back to your original position. His beautiful jade eyes, impossibly dark and his tongue darts out to lick his lips, like he’s about to eat a delicious treat. He leaned down placing his lips briefly on yours before making his way south, showering your stomach with warm and wet opened mouth kisses. Your heart beating fast as he brushes his nose over your underwear, right above your mound. Your breath hitched as he places a long and chaste kiss upon it.

“Ben” You warned, having had enough of his torment. He chucked and pressed another kiss to your clothed core.

“Alright love, no more teasing.” He hooked his fingers under the elastic of your underwear, dragging them down your legs quickly and tossing them over his shoulder. He pulled your legs apart to make room for himself before he laid down on his stomach and pulled you closer to him.

“Goddamm,” he breathed, softly moving his finger up and down your folds, “You really are wet for me aren't you, beautiful? Fuck” he curses under his breath. You moved your hands to his hair and gave it a hard tug. His eyes slid shut and he let out the most pornographic growl yet and rutted his hips against the bed. You loosened your grip and just rested your hands on his head. His eyes slowly opened and traveled up your body to meet yours. You raised a questioning eyebrow, his face was red and flushed.

“So I have a thing about hair pulling.” He confessed with a shy smile.

“I see that.” Your hands raked gently through his hair. He closed his eyes and hummed at the sensation. Without warning he threw your legs onto his shoulders and lowered his head. Your breath hitched before he’d even done anything making him chuckle between your thighs, his cool breath hitting your wetness. You gasped as his tongue pressed against your clit, swirling circles on the sensitive bud. His strong hand firmly on your hips, keeping you in place.

“Hummm,” the vibration makes your whole body tremble before Ben tilts his head to nibble softly at your inner tigh, “You taste fucking amazing,” he adds before diving back in. Relishing in the feeling of your hands in his hair, he moaned against you.

“Plea- Oh, fuck.” Your voice dies in a gasp and your back arches as he delves his tongue in, caressing your most sensitive parts and it feels soft and wet and silky. It tingles and you struggle to breathe as he meticulously swirls his tongue all over. You had never been so sensitive before, so responsive.

He definitely knows what he’s doing

You notice he ruts against the mattress every so often to get some relief for himself. You smirk and give his hair a light tug. He responds with a moan and a quick rut against the bed, as if it was a reflex. You wait a few seconds and try again, same response. You went back to gently raking your fingers through his hair while his tongue worked you over. Soon you feel the familiar knot in your stomach before he pulls back a little and presses his thumb against your clit. You gasp as the change in pressure and it's good but you miss the warmth of his tongue.

"Ben" you breathe, trying to tell him but the words die out. He's there with you and seems to know exactly what you need and he swirls his tongue around your clit and you’re there shockingly fast. You’re almost there… your head sinks into the mattress and you dig your fingers into his hair, your ribs moving fast unashamedly grinding on his face at the rhythm of your breathing and you’re fucking there-

"Ben, close, I'm- I'm close." He pulled away ever so slightly, talking against you.

"Go on love, i'm not stopping at just one" His skilled tongue goes back to working wonders, sending shocks of pleasure to your core, his face deep in you, moving up and down, side to side. You can’t take your eyes off of him as he grabs hold of your thighs, pulling you even closer and you grind your hips against his face, trying so desperately to rush your release, already excited at the promise of more. Your whole body reacts to the sensations, and you’re loud as you moan and gasp and he keeps your hips steady in his hold. He groans against your wetness as he wraps his lips around your clit and begins to suck. Your legs start to shake as a wave of pleasure overtakes your senses and renders you breathless. He continues to gently lick you through your orgasm, finally pulling away when your body goes slack.

“Fuck.” You breathed out. Ben propped himself back up on his elbows so he could see you properly. A satisfied smirk on his now glistening face.

“You ok love?” He asked and even though your eyes were shut you could tell he was smiling.

I can barely think let alone answer you right now

“Y/N?” He urged when you didn't answer.

Ughh, I’ve just been pleasured to the brink of comatose, just give me a second

You just barely lifted your hand to wave him off. He chucked. His fingers began to explore. Traveling up your inner thigh gently. His soft touch slowly brings you back down from your high. They reached your folds, the tip of his index finger ran gently up and down your wet opening. Your breathing began to pick up again and you left out a soft moan.

“Alright darling, i’ll make this one quick.” He sits up on his shins and slides two of his thick fingers into you and begins to thrust at a quick but gentle rhythm. In a matter of seconds you were back to a panting mess, clenching tight around his fingers. The sound of his digits inside you filled the room, making you moan louder than before. Ben curls his fingers, as if looking for something.

“Oh, shit,” you curse between harsh breaths when he finds the spot he’s been looking for. You’re a withering heep in no time, nothing but moans and mumbles of Ben over and over again.

“Go on, nice and loud for me good girl.” The praise drives you to let out the loudest moan yet followed by a yell of his name. His fingers rubbed mercilessly against that spot deep inside you, never letting up. The endless waves of pleasure washed over you bringing you close to tears. You were so close, only needing a little more.

“More.” You managed to get out, Ben knew exactly what you needed and brought his thumb to your clit, working on the sensitive nub with the sole mission to make you come. Your core tightens and tightens and you’re a wreck. You arch your back and his fingers continue to stroke and rub until you start to spasm into climax for the second time that night. He carefully removes his fingers as you settle back on the bed. Ben makes his way up the bed via a trail of soft kisses wherever he could reach, and settles down next to you. His lips find their way to your neck and up to your ear where he whispers.

“I have something to confess...about this morning.”

This morning?

“Huh?” You asked in a slight daze.

“At the office.” You could feel his smile against you.

Oh thats right you big dumb slut, you met this man TODAY! UGGHH It’s fine, IT’S FINE, it’s fine.

“Yeah” He propped himself up on one shoulder so he could look at you. You turned your head to look at him. His face was pink and still a bit glisteny from before. His hair, a mess with a single curl hanging over his forehead. His jade green eyes, a few shades darker but bright and shining. His smile, soft, almost shy.

Fuck me up, he is so beautiful

“I umm...i heard you.” His eyes met yours. It took you a minute to realize what he was talking about.

NO! Ok ok ok, it’s fine really. Ok. See what he actually heard.

“Umm, what uh. What are you talking about?” You tried to play it cool but there was no way he didn’t pick up on the panic in your voice and on your face. He laughed, his smile bright and shining.

“Yikes.” He answered.

Ok well that’s not that bad.

The moment flashed in your head.

**“Morgan, who am i talking to today?” You asked looking down at the papers in her hand.

“Uhh…” She flipped through the papers trying to find you an answer. She stopped on one page and read over it quickly before flipping to another until she found it.

“Wow okay, it’s..” She was cut off by the door opening and your boss walked it with the man you were about to interview.

“Oh Y/N perfect, this is Ben Hardy.” He said with a smile and you looked up from the papers to lock eyes with the beautiful blonde actor.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He said with a smile and stepped forward with his hand out to shake. His voice had a deep and creamy tone, it wrapped around you like a warm blanket, working its way under your skin where it wreaked havoc on your insides and stole your breath.

“Yikes.” You breathed you out just barely above a whisper. Morgan, standing that close, definitely heard you and her head snapped over to look at you stunned. You were never at a loss, this was really something. Your head was going a million miles a minute.**

“Also wet.” You grounded and he laughed again pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

**“Ready?” You asked Ben with a smile.

“Ready.” He answered and slid his phone back into his pocket. You watched as his eyes moved from the floor, over your body slowly and finally meeting your gaze where he licked his lips and pulled the bottom one between his teeth to bite on before letting it go and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Wet”

“What?”

“What!”

“I thought you said something.” He said a hint of blush covering his cheeks.**

Your hands were now covering your red face. Ben's fingers moved to run through your hair, doing his best to reassure you.

“Don’t be embarrassed, sweets. I only had to go to the toilet because I was half hard. Honestly I was on my way to a full blown boner, I had to leave for a minute.” That made you feel a little better and you lowered your hands enough so you could just peek at him over the tips of your fingers.

“But then… I heard you and Morgan when I came back.”

“BENJAMIN!” You yelled and rolled over to hide your face in his chest. His laugh rang out in the room and he wrapped his arms around you.

**“Uggh stop please. I have never been so embarrassed. He’s so sweet and funny, and the way he talks. Not just the accent but the words he uses and how he carries himself. I just melt at the fuckin thought of him.”

“I wouldn’t be too embarrassed, he’s clearly into you as well.” She said and patted your knee.

“Yeah well if he is, he is doing a much better job of being subtle. I couldn't even tell you what some of his answers were. All I can think about when he talks is how amazing it would be to have him whisper into my neck all the dirty things he wants to do to me while his big strong hands run all over me.”

Morgan opened her mouth to say something but the sound of the door closing caught both of you off guard and you looked to see Ben standing by the now closed door.

“Everything alright ladies?” He asked with a smile and your entire body felt like it was on fire. You were sure your face was beat red.**

“Ok no more embarrassing Y/N! Bang time!” You pulled out of his arms and pushed him on his back.

“Bang time?” He laughed again. “We were just having a cute moment.”

“Yes, well cute moment over. Deal with it.” You said throwing a leg over him to straddle his waist. You leaned down, bringing your lips to his and chuckled through the kiss. His hand tangled in your hair while the other slid down to your hip and squeezed, encouraging you to move over him. You rocked your hips against him and in no time he was matching your rhythm. Your kisses grew messy to the point where you were just panting against each other's mouths. You stopped your hips and gave him a proper kiss before you sat up and began to grind against him again.

“Oh fuck.” You moaned at the new position. His hard cock was lined up with you perfectly, everything slick and hot. Ben's strong hands moved to run up and down your thighs, gripping them tightly along the way.

“My god you are so fuckin’ beautiful.” He moaned. You looked down and saw his bright red face, neck and chest. His hair, a sweaty disheveled mess. You smiled and winked at him.

“Uggh Y/N please! You’re killin me.” He begged with a wide smile. You knew exactly what he wanted. You laughed, slowed your hips and gestured to the bedside table.

“Top drawer blondie”

“Yes!” He cheered and reached back to dig in your drawer.

I love that I can laugh with you

With a triumphant smile on his face he handed you the foil packet and you placed it on him. You leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips before you sat back and lowered yourself onto him. As he slid inside you slowly, you felt every inch of him until he was completely inside you.

“Fuckin hell.” He shuddered out, his hand laid gently on your hips, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles. You hummed and slowly began to rock back and forth. Once you adjusted to him, he grabbed your hips and started moving you on top of him. You placed your hands on his chest to keep yourself balanced as he gathered speed and power. Soon you were bouncing with the force of his thrusts. Your thighs were burning from trying to stay up.

“Ben.” You gasped.

“Tired?” He asked. Of course he knew, you nodded. He slowed his thrusts and pulled you down so you were flushed against him. He wrapped his strong arms around you and without separating flipped you over. Your legs almost shook with relief.

“You need a minute?” He asked, still holding you close. You took a couple deep breaths before answering.

“Hell no” He laughed and pressed a kiss to your lips.

“That’s my girl.” He winked and with a groan, he sat up and pulled your tired legs up and over his shoulders pushing himself inside deeper. The new angle had his tip pressed up against that perfect spot. It took you by surprise causing your eyes to fly open and your wall clench around him. He let out a low, long grown and hung his head.

“This is going to be over very quickly.” He confessed.

“Then make it rough.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise. It surprised you too but you didn’t regret it.

“Yeah?” He asked, wanting to make sure that’s what you really wanted.

“Give me what you got, lover boy.” He laughed and shook his head.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” He placed a soft kiss to the inside of your knee before he started his thrusts again. He built up a good rhythm and then with all his strength pounded into you.

“Fuck yeah” You moaned and had to place your hands agint the headboard to keep from banging your head on it with how hard he was going. His strong hands gripped tight on your hips, holding you as close as possible. You were certain you would have bruises in the morning.

You could feel your core tightening again, signaling you were close to finishing.

“Ben...close” You managed to get out between breaths.

“I’m right there with you love.” He said not letting up on his thrusts. Feeling the coil tighten in your stomach, the sweat beading on your forehead, the air in the room thick and hot, making it hard to breath, you finally released with a shout of his name. Ben soon finished after you continued riding out your high. He gently pulled out and lowered your legs. He cleaned himself and you up with his discarded tank top before laying down next to you to catch his breath. After a few minutes of the two of you just laying their regrouping he spoke quietly while looking up to the ceiling.

“I uhh… also heard you and Morgan before I came into your office.”

** You went back to your office where Morgan was waiting for you.

“Oh my god pleeease tell me something happened after I left.” She begged the second you walked in the door. You laughed and shook your head.

“Seriously!” She groaned.

“I mean, I thought maybe he was going to say something but Max came in and took him to his office."

"Ugh that sucks. I thought for sure he was gonna ask you out or at least throw you up against the wall and make sweet, passionate love to you."

"Morgan!"

"What!?" She laughed and you cracked a smile. You really would be lost without her.

"Knock knock." Both you and Morgan jumped, her knocking the phone off your desk in the process, and turned to your open door to see Ben.**

“MORTIFIED!” You yelled with a laugh and rolled over to kiss him.

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

[itsbenedict]

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop 

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch. 

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over. 

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense. 

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it’s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime. 

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though) 

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)

[lakesandquarries]

Jump the Fence Part Two: Ghost Out Of His Grave

chapter one: ghost in your house

summary: Benrey and Gordon adapt to living together. Some days are better than others.

notes: series title from “jump the fence” by mother mother. this part and the chapters within it are named after “ghosting” by mother mother. this chpater may seem familiar! i technically posted it before but i’m reuploading since it’s now part of a series.

AO3 link

It’s early when Gordon wakes up. Or late, depending on how you look at it. The sky outside is dark, with a faint glow that means the sun is about to rise. When he looks at his alarm clock it reads just past 6:30

If he really wanted, he could go back to sleep. But Benrey was acting weird last night, and Gordon was a little... concerned. Benrey had only been living with Gordon for a few days but he had gotten a decent idea of what they were like. Last night, he’d been all...jumpy, distracted, quiet. He’d barely spoken to Gordon, hadn’t eaten, didn’t even seem interested in the Mario game he was playing. Gordon had watched him fail the same stage 4 times in a row. 

He’s not worried about them. It’s just, when your roommate is some kind of eldritch horror, you gotta pay attention when they seem off. 

Gordon stumbles out of his room with eyes still bleary, glasses clutched in one hand, and almost walks straight into Benrey. “You’re up early,” he says, rubbing his eyes until his vision comes into focus. Benrey looks slightly dazed, standing in the middle of the living room with...hold on. 

“Is that my backpack?”

“Uhhhhhhhh. Nope.”

“Don’t fuckin lie to me, man, that’s mine. What’re you doing with it?”

Benrey just keeps staring. Their pupils are huge in the dim lighting, round like a cats. They have the same weird glow, too. Gordon squints his eyes at them, folding his arms. Finally, they say, “I was just gonna leave.”

Oh, goddamnit. “Dude, it’s 6 am. Where exactly are you planning on going?”

“Uh. Y’know. Out.”

“I don’t know, actually,” Gordon says. He’s trying his best to keep his tone even, but he can’t help the bit of anger that slips out. What the fuck is Benrey playing at here?

Benrey sings a bubble of pale gray sweet voice, followed by an assortment of clear. Fuck, Gordon wishes he knew what that meant. He’ll have to ask Tommy later. Benrey is still quiet otherwise, and Gordon sighs. “Benrey,” he says, gentler. “What’s going on?”

Benrey huffs, looking away and adjusting his hat. “’m sick of waiting,” they mumble, barely intelligible. 

“W - Waiting for what?”

The perpetual shadow over his eyes seems to get darker, somehow. “Y’know,” they say again, and this time Gordon explodes.

“I don’t! I don’t know fucking anything because you won’t talk to me! All you do is sit around playing video games and being fucking cryptic and now you’re trying to sneak out at 6 in the goddamn morning!”  His fists have found their way into his hair, gripping tightly. 

More of those clear bubbles slip out, then black to a dark red. “I’m n - I’m not supposed to be here,” Benrey says, voice flat. “I’m - you killed me.”

Gordon winces at the reminder. “Yeah, well, you got my arm chopped off, so -”

“‘m not mad,” they add quickly. “‘s just how things had to go. But, uh, I’m not…” he trails off, making an obnoxious lip smacking noise. “I don’t have my passport for this area.”

Gordon sighs. “Since when do you care?”

“Mmb,” Benrey says. “Uhhhh.” More of the red bubbles. “Why’re you so mad about this?”

“Why am I mad about you trying to leave in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah. I thought you, uh, hated me and everything.”

“I -” Gordon sighs, rubbing his temples. Yelling’s not gonna help here, if he wants to understand what the hell is happening. He forces his voice to sound calm, or at least as calm as he can manage. Deep breaths, he thinks, his new mantra when dealing with Benrey. “It’s more complicated than that, man.” Honestly, he doesn’t hate Benrey as much as he used to. He doesn’t like him, but…he’s not the worst roommate, and he’s a lot less antagonistic now. He’s followed all of Gordon’s rules and been almost a non-presence in the house.  “I mean, we’ve never even talked about…everything.”

“I got your arm chopped off,” Benrey says. 

“Yeah, and I’m still pissed about that. But you haven’t done anything like that here.” 

“Sooo can I go now?”

“What? No!” God, he’s exhausting to talk to. “Why do you wanna leave?”

He smacks his lips again, looking at the floor. “‘s easier than waiting to get kicked out,” they say. 

Gordon rubs his temples again. “I’m not gonna kick you out -”

Benrey looks up at him, eyes narrowed. “You - I - you’re the, the main character. I’m the uh…the bad guy. Duh,” and then he starts humming what Gordon thinks is supposed to be Bad Guy by Billie Eilish. “Right? You beat me. Kill the bad guy, win the game. But now, uh…shit’s all fuck. Bad guy respawned.” He shoots Gordon a wry, tired smile. “So, game’s not over, right? Game, uh….new stage. But you, you’re still the good guy. Fucking, little plumber man Mario. Princess is in another castle, gotta beat Bowser again. Just cause it’s a new stage doesn’t mean Mario and Bowser are gonna be bros. Right?”

He’s about to yell at Benrey for not making any sense when it clicks. “Are - do you think I’m gonna try to kill you again?”

Benrey shrugs, looking away, pulling his hat down over his face.

“Benrey,” Gordon says, trying his best to sound gentle. “I’m not - I only killed you cause you were trying to kill me! I said I wasn’t gonna try to kill you again!”

“I wasn’t actually gonna do it,” Benrey mutters. He shoves his hands in his pockets, hunching over.

“Then why the hell were you shooting at me!” Gordon yells, nearly hitting himself with his wild gesturing.

Benrey lets out a snort, almost a laugh but too…tired. Almost sad, if that’s an emotion Benrey can actually feel. “Game’s gotta have a villain,” he says.

“Stop being fucking cryptic and just say what you mean for once,” Gordon demands. “You were trying to kill me. You got my arm cut off. Why?”

Benrey sighs. “Game’s gotta have a villain,” he repeats. “Doesn’t matter if...if Bowser wants to fuckin, uh, become a chef or something. He’s gotta kidnap the princess. Even if he spends the whole game hanging out with Mario, he’s still…he’s still the bad guy.”

It’s not really any more comprehensible, but, well, that's Benrey. Gordon doesn’t think it’s physically possible for him to be straightforward. The meaning is clear enough, anyway.

“”So you...didn’t wanna be the villain?”

They shrug, trying so hard to seem casual and uncaring, but their expression gives it away. There’s a glint in their eyes, a spark that’s usually missing. 

“So then what was with everything else? If you didnt wanna be the villain why were you such an asshole the whole time?”

“Thought it’d be easier.” Their shoulders tense up, eyes softening. Maybe sad is an emotion Benrey feels. Maybe Gordon’s been wrong all this time. “Be hard to kill someone you like, right? You’d do something stupid.”

“So, what, you got my arm cut off so I’d be mad at you? I was pissed before that.”

“I didn’t think they were gonna fuck you up that bad. And it wasn’t - it wasn’t s’pposed to be real.” Yellow eyes dart around, looking at anything but Gordon.

“The fuck does that mean?”

“It was just a game. It wasn’t real. You’re just, you were just some dude playing a video game, right? When Mario gets punched it’s like, whatever. The guy playing doesn’t care. If he gets punched enough though maybe he’ll just like...give up. Bowser gets to, uh, release the princess and go fuck around. I didn’t...'s supposed to just be a game over when Mario gets beat up. Load save.”

“And what about the boss shit at the end? Where you were, y’know, trying to kill me?”

A flicker of emotion flashes over Benrey’s face, before he goes back to his usual deadpan stare. “Uhhhhhh. Bow -”

Gordon shakes his head, “No, no more of that fucking Mario metaphor. Just - can you just talk like a normal person for five minutes?”

“Nah.”

Gordon wants to tear his hair out. He pinches his nose, taking a deep breath, and then another, until he feels like he can speak without trying to beat the shit out of Benrey. “Just. Answer the question. Why did you try to kill me?”

“I don’t remember?”

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No!” Benrey says, something close to offense in his voice, like he's actually hurt Gordon doesn’t believe him, but then he drops right back into that tired tone he usually has. “It was all...fuzzy. TV static, but like, in my head? And nothing, uh, nothing was like….real. I just….” he shrugs, picking at his nails. “‘I’m just vibing, bro.” Gordon takes another deep breath, cleaning his fists and preparing to say something, but Benrey presses on. “I tried to turn back. Before we went in, I told you, we had to go back. You didn’t listen.”

“Of course I didn’t listen!” He throws his arms up in the air in sheer exasperation. “You’d been saying nothing but bullshit up until then! How do I know this isn’t more bullshit, huh? How do I know you’re not just - trying to get me to let my guard down, so you can actually kill me?”

Benrey makes a low noise, accompanied by a handful of brownish-blue bubbles. “‘m not,” he mutters. “I didn’t - I don’t wanna be bad.” The shadow over his eyes is black now, the yellow of his eyes unsettlingly dim. 

“Then why not fucking say something?”

“Couldn’t.” 

Gordon raises an eyebrow. “And why’s that?”

“It’s like - uh -” They smack their lips again. “Like a fucking, uh, dam. The thing beavers make. Beaver can’t get through.”

At least he’s dropped the Mario metaphor. “Okay. So. Let me recap. You…didn’t want to be the villain, you were trying to get me to...quit? And when that didn’t work, you intentionally pissed me off so I’d kill you at the end ‘cause you couldn’t actually say what was going on.”

“Basically, yeah.”

Well, fuck. When Gordon says it out loud like that it’s…actually kinda sad. 

No. No! He’s not gonna start feeling bad for fucking Benrey of all people. Gordon balls his fists, pushing down every stupidly sympathetic emotion he’s having. “Okay. Let’s backtrack a bit. Why are you telling me all this?”

Benrey shrugs. “Got tired of waiting for you to kill me.”

“I already said, I’m not -”

Benrey glitches. His face disappears for a second, replaced by a cracked and decayed skull, and then suddenly he’s normal again. A shriek tears its way out of Gordon as he backs away from them, almost slamming into the wall. For a second he’s back in Xen, watching Benrey’s massive form glitch and deform, and then he shakes his head and reminds himself that he’s in his apartment and Benrey is at least the size of a human being. “What the hell was that?”

“How come you don’t believe me but I’m supposed to believe you? Huh? Gordon got trust issues? Gordon skeptic man?”

“I think I’ve got more than enough reasons to have fucking trust issues, man!” He’s still pressed against the wall, hands curling into fists. 

“But Benrey’s gotta trust you. Benrey’s not allowed to be scared.”

“Are you saying you’re fucking afraid of me?”

Benrey’s Sweet Voice is high pitched and vaguely dark, like a bubble made of shadows. Gordon can’t translate, but it feels like a yes.

“You know what? I think I’m okay with that.” Gordon peels himself off the wall, stepping closer to Benrey, holding out his prosthetic hand. “Now you get how I felt the entire fucking time we were in Black Mesa.”

The bubbles get darker, a deep, almost dripping black. “‘m sorry,” Benrey mumbles.

Gordon blinks. “What?”

They repeat themself, louder this time. “I’m sorry. For. Uh. Everything?”

The only thing Gordon can think to say is, “What the fuck?”

“I’m tryna be nice!” Benrey says. He’s pouting. Like a little kid or some shit. “It’s called an apology, bro.”

“I know what a fucking apology is! I just wasn’t expecting one from you, of all people!”

“I don’t wanna be bad,” Benrey says quietly. “Can I go now?”

“What?” Fuck, with everything else they’ve been...arguing about, Gordon forgot this whole thing started because Benrey was trying to leave. “No!”

Benrey opens his mouth, looking like he’s about to say something, but all that comes out is Sweet Voice. A lot of Sweet Voice. Black to red, gray to clear, dripping black, translucent dark, swirling around him until Gordon can’t even see Benrey under all the bubbles. When they fade...Benrey’s still standing there, and he’s crying.

Gordon’s never seen him cry before.

“I don’t wanna be bad,” Benrey says again. “This was supposed to be my chance to be not bad.” They scrub at their eyes, turning away from Gordon. “This - this is sucks.”

Fuck.

He doesn’t want to feel bad. He doesn’t want to feel sympathetic. Benrey spent the entire time they were in Black Mesa trying to fuck with Gordon, and a few tears don’t erase that.

But.

“I believe you,” Gordon says. Benrey turns back around.

“Wha?”

“I believe you,” Gordon says again. “That you didn’t wanna...do everything that you did.” He pauses, closing his eyes for a second. “And - I’m sorry too.”

Benrey stares. Does not blink. Continues to not blink as the silence drags on, until Gordon feels like he has to say something else.

“I kinda...assumed you were a piece of shit from the beginning. Didn’t really give you a chance, I guess. So. I’m sorry for all of that, and for the whole, killing you thing.”

“You don’t gotta apologize for that,” Benrey mumbles. He’s still not blinking, eyes wide. “Uh. Thanks.” 

“And - if you really wanna leave…” Gordon sighs. He still doesn’t trust Benrey, not in the way he trusts Tommy and Dr. Coomer and even Bubby. But. “I’m not gonna stop you.”

“If I stay are you gonna…be less mad? Less Gordon Angy Momence?”

“I’ll - I’ll try.”

“I, uh. I think I’ll stay.”

“I’m gonna -” Fuck, he’d been planning on getting up before this. He’d been all ready to start his day. Yeah, fuck that. “I’m gonna go back to sleep.”

“Gordon sleepman,” Benrey says, nodding his head. He taps his fingers together. “Hey,” he says, holding his hands up. “You wanna. Uh. Hug?”

He’s not even gonna try to understand what’s happening now. “You know what? Sure.” He steps forward and lets Benrey wrap his arms around him, and after a moment, wraps his around them. It’s…not entirely unpleasant. Benrey is a good bit shorter than Gordon, so with them leaning in against his chest he ends up with his head perched on theirs, hat scratching his chin a bit. Benrey’s arms are thick and strong, and the way he’s holding Gordon should be terrifying but somehow it’s not.

He steps back after a minute, scrubbing at his face again. “Cool. Uh. Poggers,” Benrey says, and Gordon rolls his eyes but he’s smiling a little despite himself. 

“Good - well, it’s not night anymore, but. You get the idea. I’m gonna go pass out.”

“Cool,” Benrey says again. 

Gordon stumbles back into his room, collapsing into bed. It’s the most peaceful sleep he’s had since before Black Mesa.

sweet voice translations:

gray to clear: i shouldn’t be here

black to red: i should be dead

dirty blue: i don’t wanna hurt you

dark like the shade: i’m afraid

black and tarry: i’m sorry

[eastasianfeelings]

falling into the sky — chapter two: baby

← chapter one: crush  //  chapter three: hug →

Summary: Your dance crew is backing up 5Vixx’s comeback. You happen to have a big crush on Ken. It’s kind of not an ideal situation for you, but your dance crew and the rest of Vixx make up for it.

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: slight angst

*

You walk into the practise room on Monday to find Vixx huddled in a circle right inside the door, laughing over something on Hyuk’s phone.

He calls out to you right away, taking you by surprise. “Noona, hey!”

You pause and look over. “Oh, hello.”

Hyuk holds out his phone toward you. “You took this photo?”

A little warily, you walk just close enough to see what’s on the screen. “Oh. Yes.” It’s the photo of Leo with the restaurant server. “From the dinner on Friday, right?”

For some reason that makes Hyuk burst into a string of giggles, while beside him Ravi and Hongbin snicker amongst themselves. Opposite you, Ken’s grinning widely. Leo’s the only one not amused.

“Don’t show it,” he complains to Hyuk, making a weak lunge for the phone.

“If she’s the one who took the photo, then she’s already seen it,” Ravi points out with a snort.

“Yeah, no point in hiding exactly how drunk you look,” Hyuk says cheerfully.

“Um,” you say. “Is there something wrong?” You’re sure you’ve seen them take photos with members of the general public at all times of day. Surely you’re not in trouble just because you helped take one.

“No,” Hongbin tells you, humour warming his tone. “Leo-hyung just thinks he looks dumb in the photo.”

“He does look dumb,” Hyuk says cheekily, then ducks away from Leo’s incoming throat chop.

“Think of our Starlight babies, Leo-hyung!” Ken chirps. “Aren’t they worth throwing away the last remains of your dignity?”

“I didn’t know he had any dignity left,” Ravi says.

“His dignity is in the negatives now,” Hyuk says.

“Ahh, that makes sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” says Hongbin, straight-faced.

“Put it away,” Leo’s whining.

“It’s already on Twitter, hyung, everyone’s gonna see it eventually.”

Leo rounds on you with a sharp inhale. “You posted it on Twitter?”

Eh?! “No, I didn’t!” you defend yourself.

“No, no, the fan posted it,” Hyuk corrects.

“I took that photo with her phone,” you add. “For her.”

Leo cedes quickly. “Hm. Right.” He pauses. Then, in a very different tone, he says, “That was nice of you.”

“Oh. Well…” The sudden softness to his voice takes you aback.

“Wait!” Ken suddenly interjects. “That’s when you were inside covering our tip, right?”

“Huh?” Ravi, Hongbin and Hyuk all swivel to look at you.

There’s a sharp inhale from Leo as his eyes widen.

Yikes. You back up from all of their gazes, wondering exactly how Ken remembers all this. And what else does he remember?

“That’s right,” Leo says slowly, the memory apparently dawning on him. “That’s how we ended up taking that photo… because you were inside paying the tip…”

Okay, gotta cut all this reminiscing off. You default back to your most reliable weapon: politeness. “It was a fun dinner, thank you.” You smile vaguely. “Let’s work hard today, too.”

And with a cheesy fistpump, you turn and hurry into the crowd of crew members already setting up along the far side of the room.

Daesuk’s swinging his legs from his perch on the sound system amp that Changyeon’s setting up. “Y/N-ah,” he says, “since when are you so friendly with Vixx?”

“Never mind that, eonni—” Ahwon pushes him over so she can plop down beside him. “—since when do you fistpump and say ‘fighting’???”

“I didn’t say ‘fighting’!” you protest.

“But you fistpumped!”

“...Yeah, okay, I fistpumped.”

Daesuk laughs at your guilty face. “Did they make you?”

“Who?”

“Vixx! You were talking with them for like five minutes.”

“No, Daesuk-ah, they did not make me fistpump.”

“How weird would that be.” Ahwon shudders.

“Hey, kids, move along.” Changyeon comes over to get the amp into place.

“Oh, sorry.” Ahwon and Daesuk hop off.

“Need help, hyung?”

“I’m good. You guys should go warm up before Jaeeun gets here.”

Ahwon’s eyes grow wide. “You’re right.”

Damn. “See, this is another reason why I don’t go to our socials,” you complain jokingly. “Jaeeun-ssaem’s always determined to exercise all the alcohol out of everyone afterward.”

“But that’s how we stay young!” Ahwon leads the way toward the open side of the room. “Work out your liver and your metabolism one day, work out your lungs and your muscles the next.”

“That formula’s got to expire by your thirty-third birthday, latest.”

“So you have three more years, then, Y/N-ah,” Daesuk says. “Yay!”

“Besides, look at Changyeon-oppa, he’s doing great.”

You laugh and settle into a stretch. “True. I guess I’ll aspire to be Changyeon one day.”

“That’s the first time anyone’s ever said that to me,” Changyeon comments as he joins you.

“What about all those times I called you my role model, hyung?” Daesuk demands.

“Yeah, hyung, me too!” Ken’s chipper voice joins your conversation.

You pull out of your stretch and turn cautiously to face him. He’s bouncing on his heels next to your little group with a smile for everyone. Ahwon and Daesuk nod a polite hello, while Changyeon slips into easy banter with Ken.

“Jaehwan-ah, you’ve literally never called me your role model once in the ten years we’ve known each other.”

“Aw, come on, hyung, you know you’re my one and only idol…”

By force of habit, you distance yourself from Ken by drifting over to another corner of the room. Ravi and Hongbin are there; Hongbin’s busy checking his make-up in a compact, but Ravi looks up at your approach.

“Oh—” He stands and greets you. “Hello.”

“Hello.” You nod back, surprised when he starts walking over to you.

Once he’s right in front of you, he clears his throat and reaches into his pocket. Next thing you know, he’s bent in a ninety-degree bow, holding out a stack of bills to you.

“I’m sorry for my poor behaviour last Friday,” he says to the ground, “and for all the trouble I caused you. Please allow me to repay you in return.”

Your eyes bug out. “Uhhhh, it was no bother, you don’t need to pay me.”

He lifts his head and shuffles closer to thrust the bills into your face. “It’s not paying, really—Leo-hyung said you covered our tip, right? So I’m repaying you. As an apology.”

“Ravi-ssi, that’s really not necessary,” you say with a nervous laugh. “Everyone was tipsy, it was fine.”

“Being drunk isn’t an excuse,” he says immediately, which makes your evaluation of him rise several notches. “I shouldn’t have bothered you with that kind of inappropriate behaviour.”

“It didn’t bother me, okay?” You try to think of something reassuring to say. “It wasn’t inappropriate, it was… cute.” Sure, let’s go with that.

His eyes go round. “C-cute?”

“Yes, cute. And funny,” you say firmly, hoping that’ll embarrass him enough to drop it. “So there’s nothing to apologize for.” You nod and prepare to make your exit. “Then…”

“Wait!” He’s wearing a sheepish expression when you turn back around. “Um. Sorry, noonim… I still don’t know your name.”

Oh. “My name is Y/N.” You turn and motion to the other side of the room. “I’m part of Changyeon-sunbae’s dance crew, with Jeong Ahwon, Byeon Hyeomi, Ahn Soonil and Gu Daesuk.” Which reminds you: where are Hyeomi and Soonil?

“Oh, of course I knew you’re part of our dance crew,” Ravi says hastily. “I mean, we’ve been practising together for weeks now.”

You nod vaguely as you sneak a look around. They take the same bus route, so maybe traffic’s bad. At least Jaeeun-saem isn’t here yet either, so the two of them are still in the clear.

As you turn back, you see Leo walking in your direction with a frown. You quickly pivot to face away, but you’re pretty sure he’s coming straight toward you and Ravi.

“Yah.” Leo marches straight past you to plant himself between you and Ravi. “I said I would pay her back.”

“Huh?” Ravi straightens. “What are you talking about?”

Leo pivots to face you, blocking Ravi. “Don’t mind him. I’ll have the amount transferred to your bank account by the end of the day.”

“What?” You’re bewildered by this abrupt declaration. “That’s not necessary—”

“Why?” Ravi demands, elbowing Leo out of the way. “I have the money right here!”

“You don’t even know how much the service charge was.”

“This is a hundred thousand in total, that should be more than enough.”

What?! Who carries around one hundred thousand won in cash?! Slowly you start backing up, step by step, distancing yourself on instinct from all that money.

“Hey, whoa there—”

That’s all the warning you get before you run right into someone. Apologizing on instinct, you turn and find Ken’s smiling, inquisitive face looking down at you. Your stomach flutters.

“Sorry,” you repeat quickly, then move to side-step him and flee this idol-infested corner of the room.

But unfortunately your tiny collision with Ken has drawn Leo’s and Ravi’s attention again. “Y/N-ah!”

What the hell? You whirl to stare at Leo. What’s he hollering your name so loudly for? And what’s with the informal address?

“What’s up, hyung?” Ken tosses an arm around your shoulders, easy as you please, keeping you in place as Leo and Ravi approach. “Ooh, Wonshik-ah, what’s that?”

“Nothing.” Ravi tucks the wad of cash behind his back protectively.

Leo presses forward. “Y/N-ah, I’ll transfer the money to you tonight, please keep an eye out for it.”

“Leo-ssi, that’s not necessary.” Your tone isn’t as firm as you’d like; most of your attention is focused on not squirming uncomfortably underneath the weight of Ken’s arm.

“Oh, for the tip?” Thankfully, he removes his arm to take out his phone. “Here, Y/N-ah, I can do it now. What’s your email?”

“Jaehwan-ah,” Leo says on a displeased hiss, “I’ll do it.”

Ken looks up, eyes wide and innocuous. “Hm? I might as well do it now, though, I have my bank account set up on my phone.”

That prompts Ravi to bring his bills out into the open again. “Wait, I have the money right here! Noonim, please, take it—”

Leo grabs Ravi’s arm and forces it down. “Yah, I said I’d give her the money.”

“What’s the big deal?” Ken’s chuckling beside you.

You look around frantically, searching for anything or anyone who might be able to save you from this surreal situation. Hongbin’s gaze abruptly catches yours; he’s still seated on the bench by the wall, watching you all with an expression of amusement. You widen your eyes, desperate enough to see if you can tell him through facial grimaces to come over and control his hyungs.

Miracle of miracle, it works somehow: he stands leisurely and walks over in time to dodge Ravi as he staggers backward to avoid a swipe from Leo. “Shadow-boxing so early, hyung?”

Leo rounds on him, sufficiently insulted and distracted, while Ravi picks his ass up off the floor with a pout. Ken’s thoroughly entertained as their audience, so you take the chance to make a hasty exit.

But as you turn, you nearly run right into Hyuk. He’s not paying attention to you, looking toward his hyungs curiously, mouth half-open to call to them.

No. That’s going to ruin your escape. Urgently, you grab onto his arm to get his attention. “Uh, Hyuk-ssi.”

He halts, blinking at you in complete surprise like he hadn’t even seen you there. (Maybe he hadn’t, given how much stupidly taller he was.) “Oh, hi, noona.”

“Do you, um…” Yikes, how thick is his forearm?? You let go as you try and come up with something. “Do you know where Hyeomi and Soonil are?”

… Okay, not the greatest. Why would he care about the whereabouts of two back-up dancers? But whatever, at least now he’s not about to draw attention over to where you are.

His brows come together in confusion. “Hm? They’re not here?” He turns to scan the practice room.

And it’s like he’s summoned them or something—or at least, summoned Hyeomi. She comes through the door at that very moment, followed by Jaeeun-saem.

“Oh, there’s Hyeomi-noona…”

You’re no longer paying attention to Hyuk. Hyeomi’s walking in with a shellshocked expression on her face, still holding all her stuff like she came straight to the practice room after getting here, and you’re hurrying toward her before you know it.

“Hyeomi-yah,” you call, and she jerks up her head like she’s been startled out of a daze. Her eyes seem to latch onto your face. “Hyeomi-yah, hey.”

When you reach her, she’s instinctively trying to pull up a smile. “Eonni, hi.”

You put a hand to her shoulder. “Hey, is everything okay? What is it?”

Her smile collapses. “Soonil’s partner is in the hospital.”

“What?” You pull her further into the room, sit her down on an empty chair and crouch beside her. “Since when? For what?”

With clammy hands, Hyeomi slowly puts her things down. “I don’t know, I was just waiting at the bus stop, waiting for him to text me back and let me know if he was taking the bus today, and then he said…”

She fishes her phone out of her bag, swipes to her messages and reads: “‘I’m in the hospital with Dagun. I won’t make it today, I’m sorry.’”

You exhale sharply, stand and look for Changyeon. “When did he send the text?”

“About half an hour ago.”

Changyeon’s greeting Jaeeun-saem by the sound equipment. You start toward him, Hyeomi on your heels.

“Hyeomi,” he greets her, “bad traffic?”

“Sunbae, have you gotten any messages from Soonil?” You cut to the chase.

“Hm? I don’t think so.” He pats his pockets, then realizes, “Oh, my phone’s in the break room. Why?”

Hyeomi holds her phone out to him.

He reads it, and a frown carves itself into his face. “Hang on. I’ll get my phone.” Changyeon heads straight out of the room.

Jaeeun is looking at Hyeomi, concern in her face. “Hyeomi.”

But Hyeomi seems to anticipate what she’s going to say, and quickly ducks a bow. “Thank you very much for the ride. I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Jaeeun replies, though her frown remains.

Hyeomi turns and heads back toward her things, and you follow her. “Jaeeun-saem drove you in?”

“Yeah. She saw me at the stop and picked me up there.” Hyeomi sinks back down on the chair, and you crouch again and put your hand on her arm.

At that point, Ahwon and Daesuk spot the two of you and ditch warming up to come over.

“Hyeomi-yah! You’re late for once,” Ahwon jokes.

Upon seeing Hyeomi’s expression, Daesuk elbows Ahwon. “Is something wrong?” he asks, gaze flicking to you.

“Soonil’s partner is in the hospital,” you say quietly.

Daesuk’s eyes widen. “You mean Dagun?”

“What? Since when?” Ahwon demands.

“I don’t know, but—remember Soonil left early on Friday?” Hyeomi says.

“Friday…?” Daesuk blanches. “Oh no.”

“That’s why he didn’t text all weekend,” Ahwon says.

“Oh no, and I kept telling him to stay for one more shot.” Daesuk sinks to his haunches next to you. “Oh God.”

Before you can try and reassure him, Changyeon appears in the doorway again. He catches your eye and beckons.

As one, the four of you hurry across the practice room and to Changyeon. He withdraws into the hall, looking grave, and you all crowd after him.

“Hyung, what’s going on?”

“Did Soonil text you anything?”

He nods. “Come to the break room, we’ll talk there.”

In tense silence, you follow Changyeon into the empty break room. His phone is sitting in the middle of the big table; he scoops it up and motions for you to crowd around.

“I’m going to call him,” he informs you, and puts through a video-call before any of you can say anything.

Soonil picks up after a while. “Hyung?”

“Soonil, the team’s here.” Changyeon leans back a bit so the rest of you can crowd into frame.

“Soonil-ah, is everything okay?”

“How’s Dagun?”

As he’s bombarded by concern, you realize: he looks tired, but… relaxed. He’s framed by beige hospital walls and poor fluorescent lighting, and it’s not the most flattering angle, but he looks happy.

“I’m okay,” he says once he can get a word in. “I actually… I have some news to announce.”

You can almost feel Daesuk, Ahwon and Hyeomi hold their breaths, bracing for the worst.

“Dagun-ah and I—we’ve…” He hesitates once more, then says it: “Dagun’s given birth. To our baby.”

Shocked silence.

“Oh my God,” you say. “Soonil. Congratulations! Oh my God!”

That sets off Ahwon: “Soonil-ah! Are you serious?! You were expecting? Jeez, I’m so happy for you!” She jumps on the spot, clinging onto your shoulder so hard it hurts.

Daesuk’s staring, mouth hanging open. “Dagun… was pregnant?”

You elbow him. “Yes, Dagun was pregnant,” you say sternly. “And now Soonil’s a father.”

That seems to get through to him. “Wow, congrats!” he splutters. “Wow, I never imagined … but wow. That’s great, congrats!”

“Yah, Soonil!” Hyeomi sounds like she might tear up. “Why didn’t you tell us anything? We were so worried something terrible had happened!”

“You didn’t message the whole weekend!” you add.

“Is Dagun okay?” Ahwon asks. “He got through all right?”

Soonil nods a little. “It was—at the start, there was some… but he’s fine now,” he says, smile breaking through again. “He’s with Munsik right now.”

“Munsik?” you repeat.

“Munsik??” Ahwon and Hyeomi say at the same time.

“It’s a boy?!” Daesuk says joyfully.

Changyeon just adds a little chuckle, one that Soonil returns.

“Yes. He’s a boy.”

“Oh my God.” You’re starting to tear up, too. “Soonil-ah, I’m so, so happy for you.”

His smile is blinding. “Thank you, everyone. It means a lot.”

“Please tell us next time something happens like this,” Hyeomi says, “we have to emotionally prepare ourselves!”

“Seriously,” Daesuk adds. “One of us is a parent now!”

“Thank you for sharing with us,” Ahwon says, a little choked up. “I’m so glad for you, Soonil-ah.”

Changyeon clears his throat. “You should get back to Dagun, Soonil-ah. I’ll text you about parental leave details later, okay?”

“Right.” Soonil nods, then hesitates. “…Shall I send photos of him? Munsik?”

You, Daesuk, Ahwon and Hyeomi all shout “YES!” at once. The volume causes Changyeon to leap backward half a foot from surprise, dropping his phone on the table, and everyone scrambles to pick it up again.

Soonil’s laughing, and it almost makes your heart ache to see him this happy. “Okay. I’ll send photos.”

With that reassurement, you say goodbye in a flurry of cheer and contentment, and Changyeon ends the call.

For a moment you just stare at each other, eyes shining.

“Oh my God.” You let out a long breath and drop into a chair. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it.”

“Thank God,” Hyeomi says fervently. “I’m so glad it was good news.”

Daesuk just shakes his head. “Soonil. A dad.”

Ahwon sniffs. “I think I’m going to cry.”

“Don’t!” Daesuk says immediately. “You’ll make me cry!”

“But I’m so happy.”

You laugh, overcome with the urge to hug them all one by one.

“If only he’d told us earlier,” Hyeomi says.

“I’m sure he had reasons why he didn’t,” Changyeon says calmly. “And I think we should keep this among ourselves for now, until he decides to let others know.”

“Of course,” Hyeomi hastens to agree. Then she smiles wider. “But we’re getting baby photos!”

“It’s weird,” you say, “I don’t like baby photos. But I really want to see Soonil’s.”

“No, you don’t like random strangers’ baby photos,” Ahwon corrects you. “But this is Soonil.”

“It’s Soonil,” Daesuk agrees.

You close your eyes and let your fondness for your team expand inside you until you think you might explode from it, might float away and live forever like this, eyes closed and smiling and so happy.

“Everyone,” Changyeon says, “we do still have practice.”

That brings you all back down to earth.

“Ah, you’re right.” You stand from the chair, then can’t help bouncing on the balls of your feet. “I feel like I could dance forever, right now.”

“Same,” Hyeomi agrees.

“We’re gonna kill Jaeeun-ssaem’s post-drinking routine,” Ahwon says with determination. “Come on, let’s go!”

Outside the practice room, you all school your expressions and do your best to walk back in with straight faces and neutral answers to the other crews’ curious questions. It’s easy enough to say “Soonil just has a family thing, nothing serious.” But damn is it hard to hide the buoyancy within you, the sheer joy that your entire crew is feeling right now.

Jaeeun-saem’s exercise routine only serves to fuel the feelings higher as the endorphins start to overload your brain. When she finally ends the routine, you’re sweaty but still pratically vibrating with energy.

Impulsively, you turn to Hyeomi beside you and draw her into a hug. “Good work, Hyeomi-yah.”

She laughs and squeezes you tight. “You too, eonni!”

You’re both laughing as you part, and you think maybe a few other crew members are wondering why you seem so hysterical, but you don’t even care.

As Daesuk passes by, you give him a hug too. “Daesuk-ah, good job today,” you say, hiding your massive smile against his shirt.

“I know,” he replies happily as he returns your hug without hesitation.

“Are you actually going to say ‘fighting’ this time, eonni?” You turn to see Ahwon grinning at you, a mirror to your expression.

“Maybe I will,” you taunt, and grab her in a hug. “Ahwon-ah, you did good today!”

“Fighting, eonni!” she teases back, and both of you laugh before you let go.

When you turn the other way, a little tipsy from sheer joy, there’s someone else beside you. “Are we giving free hugs today?”

It’s a warm voice. It’s Ken’s voice. You look up, and it’s like the sight of his beautiful smiling face is an adrenaline shot straight through your blood, through your mind, through your heart.

“Good work, Jaehwan-ah!” you say without thinking.

And then you hug him.

*

← chapter one: crush  //  chapter three: hug →

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Gainer, Part 1

(Sort of a One Shot Story Post 1/3)

“Alright, guys. It’s week three of my gain train and I have gained…” Jeffrey stepped off the scale, opened his eyes, and sighed. “…Point…five pounds. Well. That’s progress! I’m sure…I’m sure my body just needs to get used to this new gaining thing. I’ll update you next week. Subscribe to HEFFrey! Later!” He turned off the camera and groaned. Another week of failure. Any kind of gain would’ve been nice. Muscle gain. Fat gain. Subscriber gain, even. He just didn’t know what he was doing wrong. The first week he’d tried stuffing himself silly. Second week was gainer shakes and reps. Third week was water chugging to try for even water weight. But everything just went straight through him. He had been cursed with this scrawny twink body when all he wanted was to be a big bellied bear. His aunt had said their family was blessed with a godly metabolism but he always felt like it was more than that. He couldn’t gain a pound even when he tried hard. He felt doomed to being a hundred and twelve pounds soaking wet.

The comments were nice though. Since his channel was new, it was mostly supporters, hardly any trolls bothered to lurk around him, though he’d get the odd ‘wtf’ down there or people who wished they could keep weight down and envied him. Mostly though, he had some followers who encouraged him and looked forward to his development. They said he should keep trying and he’ll get there. But it just felt like an impossible dream. This night a couple comments popped up right away. ‘Love the water stuff. Keep it coming.’ ‘U cute already. No need for gains.’ ‘More ass shots.’ ‘Hnnnghgnnnnngnghg’ He chuckled a bit at them. He knew guys would be jerking off to it. In a way, it was what he was going for. It made him feel sexy, though it felt a little gross at times. Essentially, it depended on his mood. But it was a fetish thing, gaining, so he knew what to expect. Another thing he expected were the suggestions. In fact, he’d only tried to water gain because of a suggestion on a previous video. So when he saw a comment of someone trying to peddle some kind of gain quick scheme, he was mildly interested. ‘I have trick for you. It is good. Get big fast. Just a drink. Message me contact info.’ He rolled his eyes. Guys were always trying to hook up with him like this, and it was a little annoying. ‘Get big fast’ wasn’t going to be enough to get his digits. He never met with people from online. Call him traditional, but he was a face to face kind of guy. He wasn’t even on Grindr. There weren’t any other comments worth scrolling through, so he plugged in his phone and decided to retire for the night. He went to bed emotionally deflated and hoped he could find something new to try tomorrow.

“You’re HEFFrey.” He was at his favourite bar the next night. He was never a big fan of beer, but his gainer mindset convinced him if he drank it enough, maybe one day he’d have a trucker worthy beer gut. He was two coronas deep when he heard the name called out. The music in the bar was loud though and his lightweight ass was a little buzzed already so at first he thought he was just hearing things. But then again in the strong accent he couldn’t place, his tag was called again. “You are HEFFrey. Gain boy of the web.” A tall stranger had sat down next to him. The guy had very pale skin, jet black hair, and these wide blazing sun coloured eyes that stared so deeply. He didn’t move as he spoke directly at Jeffrey. “It is you, yes?” he asked again. “Uh…” Jeffrey started sweating all over. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, was all he could think. His biggest fear was someone recognising him from his channel. That’s why he tried not to film his face in the videos. So how did this guy know? “Must be you. You have the mother’s marking,” the stranger said pointing to a spot on the back of Jeffrey’s palm. “My birth mark…” Jeffrey whispered, pulling his hand away and cradling it. “So… You got me… Please though, it’s private. Don’t tell anyone.” The stranger shook his head. “No. But I left you a comment. Did you read?” “Uh, thanks bro, but I get a lot of comments…” “I help you. I know fast gain. Big gain.” Jeffrey blinked. So this guy… Was this the guy who asked for his contact info? He always imagined his subscribers lived halfway across the globe. What was the coincidence they’d be meeting in the same city in the same bar the very next day? “I have gain product,” the guy said. After he finished speaking, he actually moved now and fished a bottle out of a satchel Jeffrey hadn’t noticed earlier. The bottle looked just like the one of Mass Gainer he had at home, but this one was in some unrecognisable language. Jeffrey blinked at it and scoffed. “I’ve tried that kinda stuff…” “No. You have not. This is not like your lame human powders. This is from my homeland. It is guaranteed gain.” “Listen, dude. Nothing works on me,” Jeffrey said. “This stuff sounds great, but I’m almost ready to give up.” “No!” The guy shook his head quickly. “You are my favourite to watch. I promise you, this works.” Jeffrey huffed and drank a bit more of his beer. “What do I gotta do? I can’t read that shit…” The man beamed excitedly. “It dissolves in any drink. Milk. Water. Beer. Smoothie. Up to you—” Jeffrey snatched the bottle, uncapped it, and poured half a cup of it into his beer. He lazily swirled it around with a finger before chugging it down. The alcohol went straight to his head and he felt a little tipsy. “Ah… Oop…too fast.” The stranger watched him in awe, a pleased smile on his face. “How do you feel?” “Like this ain’t gonna work…” Jeffrey leaned forward and grabbed the handsome strangers shirt. “But I did it for you cause you’re hot, so how ‘bout you take me home?” The stranger all but sparkled. “I’d love to.”

The next morning, Jeffrey woke up with a wicked hangover and an ache in his anus he felt like he would feel for days. He didn’t remember much from the night before. He remembered little clips: a car ride, the sound of his keys, shirts flying off, the overall feeling of being hot and horny. But now, he felt sick and gross, with a side of regret. But he knew the ache of a good fuck and it had been a while. Too bad he couldn’t even remember the other guy’s name and he was nowhere to be found… After throwing up in the bathroom, he pulled himself to his feet and went to wash his face. The water was so cool and refreshing it helped him think straight and his vision cleared up as well. A second later, he was staring at himself in the mirror. “…No… No way…” He backed up slowly, staring down at his midsection. He couldn’t believe it. His usually concave stomach was actually slightly bloated. For anyone else, this would be a side effect of all the beer and snacks he had the day before, but for him, it was like he’d become as fat as Santa Claus. He couldn’t believe it. Looking down, he pressed a finger into his stomach to make sure it was real. When his skin resisted, he felt almost faint with delight. It worked! That guy’s stuff, whatever it was, actually worked! And overnight too! He tried to reconnect his mind to his feet so he could go stand on his scale. He closed his eyes and counted to three, then looked down. “…Two…Two pounds? Two pounds!” Jeffrey started panting. “Oh my god… Oh my fucking god… I need to… I need to vlog this!” He nearly tripped over himself trying to get to his camera. He was so excited to share his new growth. “Hey, guys! So...Oh my god, this is a pretty, uh, impromptu video. I said I'd be back next week, but, uh... Well, just look!” He paraded his new body in front of his camera very pleased with himself. “So, this growth is kind of a mystery... I met this pretty hot guy who had, like, a gainer shake powder or whatever. Some cool foreign stuff. Threw it in my beer and here we are. I’m so excited. To that guy, thanks bud! I didn’t get your name but like… You know. Hit me up.” He rubbed his stomach happily and patted it. “Okay, so that’s all for now. I can’t wait to see where we are next week.”

This slight new shape gave Jeffrey so much confidence. He celebrated every night and woke up each morning ridiculously hungover. He managed to sober up for his work shifts but he didn’t have too many shifts so he didn’t worry about it. Besides, his cousin, though barely around, paid for everything in their apartment so work wasn’t important to him. He’d started dedicating all his own income to this gain thing. He always went to the same bar each night but he didn’t see the powder guy anywhere again. He shrugged it off though. You could only get lucky so often, right? Flipping on the camera a week later, he nearly danced in excitement. “Alright, first reading of the day,” he said. “My appetite’s been up and as you guys can see, there’s definitely new growth. I feel like I should have, like, a name for when we do a scale reading… Scale…scale… Uhhhh… Measurement mode? Hah, I don’t know… I’ll work on it…” He stepped on the scale and beamed. “Another two pounds! Guys, I’m… Just wow. I’m 116 lbs now. I never thought I’d get here… Let’s do a belly measurement!” He pulled out his measuring tape and pulled it around his middle. “29 inches! God, I mean, compared to what’s out there, that’s pretty lame, but for me, this is so dope. I was 25 inches two weeks ago. Jesus. I hope this keeps up. I’m fucking…I’m shook or whatever.” He turned and gave them one last extended front and profile view before signing off and turning off the camera. He wasn't much of an editor so he just re-watched it to make sure he liked the video and threw it up online. Within minutes he was getting quite the comments. Many were just as excited as he was and he loved it. One guy mentioned his arm was still bigger than Jeffrey but Jeffrey didn’t mind. He knew he was gonna get big. He just had the best feeling about it.

Part 2 Part 3

[onewhoturns]

100 truths?

edit: fuck! forgot to mention I was tagged by @mocarro

1.) Real name: Turner 2.) Nicknames: Turner? 3.) Zodiac Sign: *sigh*  4.) Male or Female: (>.> not gonna include nb/gq/ag stuff? really? let’s fix that) 4.) Gender: female 5.) Nursery: the fuck does this mean, I’m painfully american 6.) Primary School: I did that, part private part public, G&T program (I’d regret it, but most of my teachers were good and I was comfortable being a complete nerd) 7.) Secondary School: not as good as primary, but that was mostly internal stuff, no bullying or anything 8.) Hair Color: dark brown 9.) Long or Short: used to be down to my lower back, now it’s shoulder length 10.) Loud or Quiet: loud. I tend to have difficulty regulating my volume, but have definitely gotten better about it now that I’m an adult and I’m more aware of it (also thanks to helpful feedback from friends, family, housemates etc) 11.) Sweats or Jeans: pj pants. or jeans. 12.) Phone or Camera: phone 13.) Health Freak: nah 14.) Drink or Smoke: occasionally drink (twice a month? ish? not very often at all, and when I do it’s small amounts. don’t think I’ve had any alcohol since... february? not trying to abstain, just not big on it unless it tastes good) 15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: nope 16.) Political orientation: uhhhhhh liberal I guess? I’d say it without reservation but I’m sure someone could jump down my throat about “the liberals” and I’m over here just like lgbtq+ rights, affordable college tuition, affordable health care, etc.  17.) Piercings: had my ears pierced for all of 6 months but as soon as I took out the studs they closed up before I could put in another pair. yeah. so... no. 18.) Tattoos: nah. thought about it, but nah. HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]: 19.) Airplane: several times 20.) Car *Accident*: i guess? just a fender bender 21.) Fist Fight: nope, i’m weak af and not interested in physical confrontation FIRSTS: 22.) First piercing: ears 23.) First Best Friend: a girl named Beth in first grade, probably. but then I left after second, so never saw her again. 24.) First Instrument played: I’m sure I took piano lessons at some point. but did flute 5-6th grade. 25.) First award: I dunno, probably some participation award or something 26.) First Crush: Julio in kindergarten, apparently XD 27.) First Language: english. 28.) First Big Vacation: we went to maine all the time all through my primary school years LASTS: 29.) Last Person you talked to: out loud? grocery store cashier 30.) Last Person You Texted: if we’re counting discord @bloodofthepen, otherwise probably my mom. if we’re not counting discord but are counting messenger then my coworker/manager 31.) Last Person You Watched: watching jacksepticeye play observation atm 32.) Last Food You Ate: pirate’s booty 32.) Last Movie You Watched: uhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno. just marathoned what we do in the shadows, though (tv show, not movie) 34.) Last Song You listened to: On Your Way - the Album Leaf 35.) Last Thing You Bought: groceries 36.) Last Person You Hugged: coworker on his last day saturday FAVES: 37.) Food: chocolate croissant maybe? idk, i like a lot of foods. burrata maybe. 38.) Drinks: water (boring, whatever) 39.) Clothing: pj pants and hoodies 40.) Book: His Dark Materials 41.) Color: no fave, really, though I do tend to ask for green for my discord color 42.) Flower: no fave cause I know nothing about flowers. 43.) Music: the Decemberists are up there, as is Death Cab For Cutie and Darlingside 44.) Movie: too many faves. here’s the top ten in no order. 46.) Subjects: psych

IN THE PAST YEAR I… 47.) [ ] Kissed in the rain 48.) [ ] Celebrated Halloween. 49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken 50.) [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone 51.) [x] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation. (tbf it was one of these ask meme things, and it wasn’t questioned as much as asked) 52.) [ ] Used a Weapon 53.) [ ] Breathed fire 54.) [ ] Had an Abortion 55.) [x] Done something you’ve Regretted   56.) [x] Broke a Promise 57.) [x] Kept a Secret 58.) [x] Pretended To Be Happy 59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life 60.) [ ] Pretended To Be Sick 61.) [ ] Left The Country 62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it. 63.) [x] Cried Over The Silliest Thing 64.) [ ] Ran a Mile 65.) [x] Went To the Beach 66.) [x] Stayed Single CURRENTLY: 67.) Eating: gonna have some more pirate’s booty when I’m done typing 68.) Drinking: water 69.) Getting Ready To: stay up too late watching or listening to videos or podcasts or maybe playing a game who knows 70.) Listening To: nothing right this second, but I was listening to part four of Film Reroll’s ET game earlier 71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: first day off in a week, gonna sleep a lot and maybe wash my hair 72.) Waiting For: sleep YOUR FUTURE: 73.) Want Kids: nah 74.) Want To Get Married: idk, maybe if i meet someone great 75.) Careers in minds: no clue, I’m somewhat bemused that I’m still alive WHICH IS BETTER ON A GIRL/GUY: (again blatant nb/gq/ag exclusion) ON A PERSON/PARTNER: 76.) Lips or Eyes: uhhhh depends. probably lips? 77.) Shorter or Taller: not much of a preference, but probably taller just cause i’m already quite short 78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: (I’m really not a person to ask these questions, I have so little opinion on this sort of thing) probably spontaneous? I’m super adhd and also super depressed, and novelty is good for me. 79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: (another question I have no strong opinions on-- and am not a huge fan of tbh) lately I’ve been a sucker for ladies with nice arms 80.) Sensitive or Loud: knowing when to be one or the other 81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: fwb/casual relationship 82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: neither? confident but not a dick for the sake of making trouble. self-aware. HAVE YOU EVER: 83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: don’t wear glasses but i’ve lost sunglasses before 84.) Ran Away From Home: no 85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defense: nope 86.) Killed Somebody: who would admit to this? 87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: maybe. i’ve definitely turned people down before, and based on their reactions maybe. 88.) Been Arrested: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 90.) Yourself: I mean, I exist. I’m relatively confident about some things, and quite pessimistic and self-defeating about others 91.) Miracles: meh. not really. 92.) Love at First Sight: nah. interest for sure, and chemistry, but not full-on love 93.) Heaven: nope 94.) Santa Claus: nah (also: atheist jew, so not really my bag to begin with) 95.) Easter Bunny: nope (see above) 96.) Magic: hm, not per se, but there are so-called witches out there that I think can definitely affect their own lives and therefor the lives of others with the actions they take in the name of magic (so more of a “be the change you wish to see in the world” sort of thing than a love potion or lucky charm sort of thing. i guess i believe in the power of magic to individuals rather that magic on it’s own) ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: ehhhh not really 98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: no, but there’s not anywhere else I can see myself either 99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: no one? yeah, pretty okay with it. not interested in looking for anything else, anyway. 100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five People: @iron-moon @bloodofthepen @artemis-crimson @hirvitank @artabria (no pressure, and if anyone else wants to do it go for it)

[littlev1234]

You, Me, Selfishly

Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates

Characters: Leo, Niles (not written as romantic, but you’re free to read it that way)

Warnings: brief talk of assisted suicide, plans for suicide, violence

Words: 2,201

AO3 Version: You, Me, Selfishly 

Note:  So uhhhh this is just self-indulgent AU angst I wrote during breaks at work. Because of that it's pretty messy, but I figured hey, might as well post it in case anyone else is in the mood for feels with King Leo and Niles.

~~~~~~~~~~

“…Niles.”

Niles straightened from where he’d been hunched over King Leo’s desk. All documents, some half-finished or marred with ink blots, lay on one side. Wood oil, Niles’ bow, and a worn quiver covered the rest.

Rising from his seat, he turned to the fever-glazed eyes watching him. A sheen of drying sweat coated Leo’s too pale skin, and his cheekbones stood out in sharp relief without any fat left to round his face. But his focus didn’t waver as Niles walked to his bedside; the other’s mind was having a rare break in the fog of illness.

“Drink some water, milord.” He helped the younger man slowly sit up before grabbing the untouched glass on the nightstand.

Leo’s mouth tilted downward in a grimace—he must be feeling nauseous again—but he allowed him to put the cup to his lips. After two minuscule sips he shakily waved it away.

“How close are the Hoshidans?”

“They’re traveling quickly. I hear they will reach the castle by tomorrow.”

Leo pinched the bridge of his nose, as if the action could alleviate what was surely a pounding headache. “…I see.”

“All of our available troops will defend the castle. I have a small force inside as well.” The remnants of the Nohrian army still loyal to the king were under-equipped and malnourished, but he didn’t have to mention that. The blond already knew the horrendous odds better than anyone. Niles had tried to rally anyone he could while the other was bedridden. He’d even scoured the underground for criminals he could bend to his will.

“I want to move you to one of the hidden rooms before I set the traps,” Niles added.

Leo nodded, yet his fingers weakly twisted in the blankets. The retainer couldn’t blame him. Leo was a king with a dying kingdom, a sick patient worsening by the day, and a boy who missed his family. His desperate grasp on his suffocated pride had to slip even further to agree to hiding.

“You must swear to me,” Leo suddenly said.

“Swear what?”

He attempted to take a deep breath, which ended in a wet cough instead. “…you will not let them capture me.”

“Of course—”

“I would rather die by your hand than face their wrath alone.” His gaze shifted away, and his strained voice further quieted. “Regardless of how much I deserve it.”

Eye wide, Niles opened his mouth to protest. His liege’s death could not be decided so easily. Leo was young and smart and powerful, still was, he just needed time to recover—

“I refuse to be the last one. Please. Let me keep being selfish.” Leo slumped against the pillows, and he’d grown paler with the effort of speaking so long.

A harsh breeze blew outside and caused the old window sill to creak. After it stopped, the king’s labored breathing was the only noise to keep silence at bay. Beyond the bedroom door nothing could be heard—no siblings walking the halls, nor servants fulfilling duties.

Calloused fingers picked up a thin hand. Niles dropped to one knee.

“I won’t leave you on your own.” He gently pressed Leo’s knuckles to his own chest, over his heart. “You have my word.”

---

There was a tickle in the back of Niles’ throat.

He swallowed hard against it and set the last trap.

He then glanced back at Leo, who slept through his latest fever spike. A damp rag lay on his forehead, and his breaths sounded shallow and fitful. However, the fact that he was breathing at all was enough to fuel Niles’ determination.

As the archer stretched his limbs, he ignored the heaviness draped over his body like a blanket. He should have guessed all the stress, lack of sleep and food, and being around Leo nearly 24/7 would slam his immune system. With the Hoshidans arriving any minute, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about the illness hitting him full force yet.

Muffled through the thick stone walls, the sounds of blades clashing and shouts of challenge arose.

Leo didn’t stir. Hopefully he would stay unconscious through whatever happened next. Niles pulled the curtain around the bed closed.

All too soon, the floor shook as what must be an army burst through the massive grand entrance doors. Niles readied his bow.

Crashes in the bedrooms. Brief quiet, like they were confused to find their target wasn’t there. Then spread out footsteps and rattles of armor as they started to search.

Then, what he’d been waiting for: cords snapping as traps launched arrows, knives, and mini bombs.

Niles knocked an arrow.

He released it the moment the door swung open. It embedded into someone’s shoulder, and in one smooth motion he loosed another one.

The glint of shruiken made him pause long enough to doge the projectile flying at him. That was all it took for a female ninja to be upon him and force him on the defense. He blocked one, two, three blows—

“Kagero!”

She jumped away, and he was greeted by a fireball. With Hoshidans crowding the front of the room and his unwillingness to draw attacks too close to Leo, he couldn’t effectively avoid it. Flames struck his left arm, burned through clothing, and seared skin. The damage extended from shoulder to elbow, and he knew trying to fire arrows with this injury would take too long. Grunting at the pain, he dropped his bow and pulled a dagger from his belt.

“Halt,” a commanding, deep voice called out.

Niles paused, if only for the sake of putting off his and Leo’s inevitable fate. A large man in red armor stepped forward.

“I am Ryoma, King of Hoshido,” he introduced. “There is no need to keep fighting. You’ve already lost. Surrender and we will be merciful to you both.”

Between panting breaths, Niles gave a wild grin. “Yeah, I know the outcome. But I can still take you down with us.” Suddenly he had taken exactly three steps back to loop his finger around a previously hidden string behind Leo’s desk. It was connected to a volley of makeshift bombs, far more than he’d put in the halls, and it would easily destroy anything in the room.

Ryoma stiffened, and the soldiers around him snapped into fighting stances. Several showed wariness and sported gashes or burns from previous traps.

The sound of a curtain’s swish had Niles throwing his dagger without a single thought. It lodged into the wall and left a deep slice in Kagero’s shoulder. She released the curtain to press a hand to the injury, what was done had been done. Leo had been revealed.

A gust of surprise flew through the thick, tense atmosphere in the room. All eyes witnessed the King of Nohr’s gaunt face and raspy breathing.

A soft gasp came from a redheaded healer—the youngest princess, Sakura, if Niles remembered right. Hands covering her mouth, she had leaned around Ryoma to see better, and palpable pity shone on her face.

“When did he become this ill…?” Ryoma muttered.

Niles clicked his tongue. The noise startled the enemies out of their surprise, and attention returned to him.

It was inevitable they’d discover Leo’s condition. However, it still felt like Niles had lost any pretense of advantage he’d clung to.

“Ask an artist to take a picture. It’ll last longer.” His icy tone belied his words. Blood pounded in his ears. “But I’d much rather you keep those intense looks on me.”

Composure returned, Ryoma spoke once more. “Your king is in no condition for this to be dragged out. The sooner you surrender, the sooner we can take him to our doctors.”

An empty chuckle erupted from the retainer’s throat. It started low, grew into a disbelieving cackle, and then dissolved into damning coughs.

“…you think I’ll believe it’s that easy? That if I give up, you won’t kill me and show off my liege like a trophy?”

“There has been enough bloodshed,” the Hoshidan king insisted. If Niles didn’t know any better, he would have thought the wrinkles on the other’s face deepened with a war-weariness. “We won’t kill you if you come peacefully—”

“Torture, then.” His single eye met the other’s gaze. “I must warn you, I am a tough one to break.”

Several of his opponents looked startled by the accusation, and Ryoma quickly shook his head. “No. We do not torture our prisoners. Your safety, as well as King Leo’s, is assured.”

Niles scoffed.

The little princess, shoulders hunched but determination steadying her legs, took a small step forward. “P-Please. He’s not going to last much longer. Wh-What use would making us k-kill you be?”

“I won’t let it be by your hands,” he murmured.

Her mouth gaped, and, damn, he hadn’t meant to let that slip. Too late now.

Ryoma made to speak again, but Sakura abruptly continued. “I understand! W-Well, not exactly, but I know you care so much about him. Like how Hana and Tsubaki would do anything for me, y-you’re trying to fulfill the king’s wishes as much as possible.” She straightened and, despite the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, her chin was raised high. “I beg you. Neither of you will be harmed, and we will do everything we can to save him. You may stay by his side no matter where he goes and have the right to choose who interacts with him until he is well. I give you my word as princess of Hoshido.”

The people around her appeared stunned. Niles hardly noticed; his mind was too busy twisting around the idea.

She seemed honest, but that meant nothing. Or Ryoma could override her decision. It was highly likely that such a deal would last only until Niles had no more strength to resist. Naturally it was also possible that this was all a ruse to lower his guard.

…but there was that tiny, tiny chance surrendering could save Leo’s life.

If Leo were awake, he knew the blond would refuse. The potential humiliation of being a war prisoner and prize may be more than the younger’s battered psyche could bear. There was also his request, which rang incessantly in his ears. It could be impossible to avoid separation since they’d be at the mercy of the enemy’s whims.

That left Niles with a dilemma: should his loyalty go toward Leo’s survival, or Leo’s will?

His fingers released the string.

I’m sorry, milord. I’m a selfish man too.

She sighed in relief, and Ryoma nodded in acknowledgement of his decision.

“We appreciate your choice.” The corner of Ryoma’s mouth tugged upward in a tired almost-smile. “We can finally end this war.”

“I stopped caring about the war a long time ago.” Half-turning away, Niles walked to the bedside. His muscles stayed bunched, waiting for a sword between his shoulder blades that never came.

“I have to move you,” he apologetically murmured. He slid one hand under his knees and the other under his back. Pain flared along the charred part of his arm, and it took every ounce of willpower not to flinch back.

A footsteps. “One of us can—”

Niles didn’t turn around. “Touch him and you will know the wrath of a hundred hells.”

That warning, oozing dark promise, was enough to stop whoever it was. He didn’t care to know who.

He lifted Leo up. His arm screamed as the weight pulled at raw skin, but he kept his hold steady. Nothing less than amputation would make him put Leo down right now. Other than a particularly harsh shuddering breath, the Nohrian king didn’t stir.

The retainer turned and started toward the waiting soldiers. Each footstep felt heavy, and he suspected it wasn’t just from physical exertion. When he neared the doorway, several Hoshidans moved to surround him. The damp rag upon Leo’s forehead slipped and landed on the floor. Not that it mattered; it had long since lost its coolness. However, he noticed Sakura start to reach for it, and something not completely unpleasant twisted in his chest.

“He needs a new one anyway,” he said, and she straightened with a jerky nod.

They broke away to allow him through the narrow doorway, and once through they circled him again. His instincts despised being trapped regardless of the foot-wide berth they left him. Ryoma was talking, as well as a couple others. He ignored the conversation in favor of swallowing down oncoming coughs.

Everything moved quickly after that. Soon they were outside, Ryoma announced Hoshido’s victory, and jubilant shouts roared. The few remaining Nohrians either fled or found themselves captured. Niles peered through the slivers where the people of his entourage weren’t quite shoulder-to-shoulder. They were preventing others from receiving a full view of himself and Leo, for now. It must be obvious to everyone who was being hidden, though.

Niles raised his gaze to gray clouds. The familiar sight offered him an anchor amid the overwhelming bustle around him. Cold winds snuck through his entourage to chill his face and hands.

“Maybe a little sunlight will do us both good, eh, milord?” he whispered to the too-warm boy in his arms.

[noromojustkeith]

I did one of these things where I show someone a PowerPoint of Voltron characters and they have to describe them. My sister told me she didn’t want me to post the recording as a video. However, she said nothing about me transcribing everything we said verbatim and posting that. So, that’s precisely what I did. Enjoy.

Me: Okay, so, I’ve got this slideshow set up with pictures of different characters from Voltron: Legendary Defender.

Dad: Uh-huh.

Me: The game here is that someone who has not – who is unfamiliar with these characters has to take a look at these pictures and, based just on the images, try to figure out – well, I guess, not try to figure out, but come up with their own version of the character. Decide on their name, um, their personality, anything with their history. Dad, since you’ve already seen a couple of episodes (Note: he has seen Reunion, and scattered bits and pieces of seasons 3 and 4) you’re already a little familiar with a couple of these characters –

Dad: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Me: – so if a character comes up that you recognize, feel free to keep it to yourself.

Dad: Oh, don’t say anything?

Me: Yeah, just leave it up to –

Beka: How long is this game?

Me: Um, it’s, I’ve got twelve characters, so maybe a minute each, for you to look at them and decide –

Beka: So this is just Voltron?

Dad: It’s not a game so much as it’s a – a project.

Me: Yeah, it’s – it’s just a, uh, little, a – a thingy. It’s a thingy.

Dad: Okay, a thingy.

Me: It’s a thingy. So, Beka, do you want to stand up so you can see the screen?

Beka: Ugh.

Me: Okay, you guys ready? So, each character, I’ve got six images up there to sort of sum them up, and you just gotta take your best guesses. And strangers on the internet will either be impressed by how accurate you got or laugh at how wrong you were.

Beka: Are Dad and I working together?

Me: Um, for the ones that Dad doesn’t know. ‘Cause Dad’s seen a couple episodes, but I don’t know how well he would have retained all this, ‘cause he only half-watched. So, are you ready?

Beka: Yeah.

Me: We’re gonna start off with the first character. All right…

Dad: Oh, yeah, that is… oh, that’s one of the guys.

Me: ‘One of the guys’, good job.

Dad: That’s the main guy. His name is…

Beka: Danny Phantom. I’m kidding.

Me: Go ahead, just name him whatever you want.

Beka: Okay, he’s Danny Phantom.

Me: Okay.

Dad: I can’t remember what his name is. Danny Phantom?

Me: Beka’s going with Danny Phantom.

Dad: He’s the leader of the Voltron group.

Me: Yes. So, you can, you know, anything you want to guess about, like, his personality, his skills, his history, just go ahead.

Beka: He’s a pop star guy for sure. He’s got that chin…

Me: The chin?

Beka: Maybe.

Dad: He’s a wise guy that always – smart, I mean, not ‘wise guy’, not like a, you know, a wise-cracking guy. He’s – he’s – he’s very… wise in what he does.

Me: Okay.

Dad: He’s – he’s strong.

Me: He’s a wise man.

Beka: Like the guy from the Bible.

Dad: And very – very successful in anything he tries.

Me: Wise man from the Bible or strong man from the Bible?

Beka: Both. Solomon. The one with the hair. Or is that Simon?

Me: Samson.

Beka: Samson, fine.

Dad: Solomon’s wise, Samson’s strong.

Beka: I think he… can glow in the dark.

Me: He can glow in the dark?

Dad: He got struck by lightning in the front.

Beka: Did he?

Dad: That’s how his hair turned white.

Beka: Oh.

Me: He’s stressed.

Dad: There was a – a gremlin that had that thing going.

Me: Was that from stress?

Dad: I think his name was Stripe. On Gremlins?

Me: Oh, yeah, I haven’t seen that in a while.

Dad: Okay, we’ll watch it.

Me: Wanna do the next character? Ready, Beka?

Beka: Yeah.

Me: Okay.

Beka: He looks the same as the last guy.

Me: He looks the same as the last guy?!

Beka: But skinnier.

Dad: No.

Me: No.

Dad: Is that – is that Lance?

Me: That is Lance.

Dad: That’s Lance, his name is Lance.

Beka: His name is Lance.

Dad: I was about to call the other guy Lance, and I thought, no, that’s not…

Beka: He works out more than the other guy.

Me: Wha – he works out more than the other guy?

Dad: No…

Beka: To get rid of neck fat.

Me: What?

Dad: He has no neck fat, that’s true.

Me: He’s a lanky fella.

Beka: And chin fat. He only checks chin – not checks, works out, chin – only chin and neck exercises only.

Dad: He’s a wise-cracking guy. He’s a fun-lovin’, uh… but he makes mistakes. He makes mistakes, he goofs off –

Beka: He’s the son of a dentist.

Me: …Okay?

Beka: He’s holding a tooth. *points to top-left picture*

Dad: He’s a dental son.

Me: *laughing* That’s not a tooth, that’s a cup.

Dad: Nah, it’s a tooth, it’s a big tooth.

Me: Okay, it’s a tooth.

Dad: Tooth.

Me: Son of a dentist, and there he is holding his giant high-tech space tooth. Anything else about him?

Dad: He just got rejected by this lady. *points to top-right picture*

Me: Nice.

Dad: He was trying to ask her out for a date, and she said no.

Me: You’re… not wrong.

Beka: So now he’s all alone I guess.

Dad: He’s such a goober.

Me: You’re really not wrong at all. Anything else you wanna add about this character or do you wanna…?

Beka: No.

Me: No? Okay. Moving on to the next.

Dad: Is that one… Keith?

Me: That is Keith.

Dad: That’s Keith!

Me: You should really give Beka a chance to name them.

Beka: I would’ve named him Keith.

Me: Sure.

Dad: Well, I’m sure we’ll get to some that I don’t know. That is Keith.

Me: Yeah.

Beka: He… he’s a heartthrob.

Dad: He thinks he’s the Fonz.

Beka: What does that mean?

Dad: The Fonz was from Happy Days. Arthur Fonzarelli.

Beka: I don’t know what that is.

Dad: He’s actually the lawyer on Arrested Development.

Me: Yeah, Henry Winkler, yeah.

Dad: That was the guy – that was like one of the coolest guys ever when I was a kid. Um…

Beka: Um.

Dad: So Keith, he –

Beka: Likes to travel through the forest at night.

Dad: – needs a haircut, really.

Me: *laughing* Well, Lance would agree with you.

Beka: Who’s Lance?

Dad: The last guy.

Beka: Oh yeah.

Dad: Does Lance try to cut his hair?

Me: No, he just makes fun of it.

Beka: This guy likes to go through the forest.

Me: He likes to go through the forest?

Beka: At night, with his wolf.

Me: … With his wolf?

Dad: Sure, with his wolf.

Me: His wolf?

Dad: Yes.

Me: Wow.

Beka: Okay, come on, this guy totally has a wolf, look at him.

Me: He does!

Beka: Oh, does he?

Me: He gets a pet wolf.

Beka: Told you.

Me: So, yeah. Good job.

Dad: That’s pretty impressive.

Me: Yeah, that’s very impressive.

Dad: Wow.

Me: Anything else you wanna add about this character?

Beka: That’s all.

Me: That’s all? He likes to go through the forest at night with a pet wolf and he needs a haircut.

Dad: Yes, very badly.

Me: And that’s his personality there.

Dad: He knows how to scowl, apparently, too. Because he does a lot of that.

Me: Yeah.

Dad: Couple of those pictures, he’s scowling.

Me: He – he does, yeah.

Dad: He’s got a little bit of an attitude, yeah.

Me: Yeah.

Dad: Mad. And sad. That’s the attitude.

Me: Okay, next one?

Dad: Oh, I know this one!

Beka: That’s Harry Potter.

Dad: She’s the most memorable one.

Beka: Oh, it’s a girl.

Dad: It’s a girl.

Beka: I thought… a guy.

Me: No, it’s a girl. But you were close.

Beka: What?

Me: She has both her name and a nickname, so, Dad, if you can only remember one, you can make up the other if you’d like.

Dad: I don’t know her real name…

Beka: Viola.

Dad: Viola, that her real name or nickname, Bek?

Beka: Nickname.

Me: Okay, her nickname’s Viola. What’s her real name?

Beka: … Karen.

Me: Okay, um, so now go ahead and give her a personality, backstory.

Beka: Um, she’s… the oldest of nine kids. And her parents don’t like her as much as the other ones. You can tell.

Me: What?

Dad: Aw. By this picture, you can tell? *points to top-right picture*

Beka: Yeah.

Dad: Got a little bit of hate goin’ on there.

Me: Anything you want to add, dad?

Dad: Well, I know a lot about this character. So, this is probably the one that I could – coulda named first.

Beka: She, uh, studies?

Dad: If you just asked to name them I would’ve gotten her like that.

Me: She studies.

Beka: A lot. Of chemistry.

Me: A lot of chemistry.

Beka: That’s all.

Me: That’s all. She’s oldest of nine, her parents don’t like her, and she studies chemistry a lot.

Dad: A lot.

Me: Yeah. Okay, that’s – that’s a – that’s a character.

Dad: You’d think the parents would like the studying.

Me: Ready for the next one, Beka?

Beka: Yeah.

Me: Mm-kay.

Dad: Moose!

Beka: Is that his name? Is that his nickname?

Dad: He’s – he needs to be a moose.

Me: We’re calling him Moose?

Dad: Um…

Me: This is Moose.

Beka: I’m calling him…

Dad: I don’t think Moose is his name, but, um, he’s the classic moose character.

Me: Uh-huh.

Dad: You know, the big, uh, huggable but not so bright, um –

Beka: Like Goofy.

Dad: Uh, offensive lineman – er, defensive lineman-type, football guy.

Me: Ah.

Beka: Uhhhh…

Dad: That’s what he is. He’d be an offensive lineman if he was playing football.

Me: Defensive or offensive?

Dad: He’s a blocker. He’d be – he’d be a blocker. He’d be the kind that –

Me: He blocks.

Dad: He blocks. He’s not the aggressive type, that wants to kill the quarterback, he wants to protect the quarterback.

Me: Okay.

Dad: He – he is, uh, yeah.

Me: There you go, good. Anything you want to add, Beka?

Beka: I would give him…

Dad: He’d be number 72, by the way.

Me: Why?

Dad: Because he’s an offensive lineman.

Beka: Ooh, he does look like a 72.

Dad: He’s a 72, isn’t he?

Beka: I would call him Big… Greg.

Me: Big Greg.

Beka: Not Moose.

Dad: Moose. I call him Moose.

Beka: No, Big Greg’s his real name.

Me: Okay, and then Moose is his nickname?

Beka: Yeah.

Me: And his real name is Big Greg. Big Greg’s not a nickname, that’s just his name. On his birth certificate.

Beka: Yes.

Dad: Yes, that’s his full name.

Me: Big Greg. Okay, uh, next one.

Dad: That’s – that’s Princess Osiris.

Me: … Sure.

Beka: Is that what it is?

Dad: She is… princess of the Elfish nation.

Me: Elfish, of course.

Dad: From the planet –

Beka: Ice.

Dad: – Micron.

Beka: She has something with ice.

Me: Something with ice?

Dad: Ooh, yeah, she’s like from Frozen.

Beka: No, she’s not from Frozen. She likes ice, though.

Dad: She likes ice?

Beka: And cherries. And kitties.

Me: Ice and cherries and kitties.

Dad: Because they – they taste so well together?

Me: *laughing* So she eats kitties, is that what you’re saying?

Dad: I’m not eatin’ no cherry ice at your place.

Beka: She, uh, is a good driver.

Me: She’s a good driver.

Beka: Never has messed up.

Dad: She – she’s royalty, though. She’s got that elegance, she’s got a, uh, a regalness to her.

Beka: And she can drive.

Dad: She’s like the Princess Diaries lady that, you know, has that, but then there’s a fun side to her too.

Beka: Quirks.

Dad: Corks?

Beka: Quirks.

Dad: Quirks?

Beka: Quirks.

Dad: Is that the name of the lady from the Princess Diaries?

Beka: No. What? Like, quirky.

Me: She’s quirky.

Dad: Oh, she’s quirky. Okay.

Me: Ready for the next one? All right, next one.

Beka: Oh, gosh.

Me: *laughing* What’s with the ‘oh gosh’?

Beka: Nobody likes this character, he sucks.

Me: What?!

Beka: I can tell. Everybody on the show – he’s like the, the bad one.

Me: He’s the villain?

Beka: No, like, not the main villain, he’s just an antagonist.

Me: Okay, he’s –

Dad: Like, a villain’s sidekick, or…?

Beka: Um… no. But they know each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Dad: He’s kinda got that, um, Snidely Whiplash mustache.

Beka: Aw, shoot, I missed a spot shaving my legs.

Me: Oh. That’s relevant.

Dad: You know who Snidely Whiplash is?

Me: Yeah.

Beka: Huh?

Dad: Dudley Do-Right used to fight him all the time. The Canadian Mounties.

Beka: His name… starts with ‘Sir’.

Me: Sir?

Dad: Sir Reginald.

Me: Sir Reginald.

Dad: Yes. Sir Reginald.

Me: Okay.

Beka: He looks like he could be on, um, Clue.

Dad: He’s like a butler. He’s their butler.

Beka: Evil butler.

Dad: He – he’s their evil butler.

Me: *laughing* He’s their evil butler. Sir Reginald.

Dad: Yeah, Sir Reginald, the evil butler.

Beka: You can tell his voice is high.

Dad: He – yeah, his voice is high.

Beka: Is it?

Dad: Who’s Batman’s butler?

Me: Alfred.

Dad: Alfred. He’s kind of like an Alfred. Evil Alfred.

Me: Evil Alfred.

Beka: With a high voice.

Dad: Sir Reginald the Evil Alfred.

Me: Okay. That works. Anything else, or is that – ?

Beka: No.

Dad: Um, he likes his dishes to be very clean.

Me: Okay.

Beka: Does he?

Dad: Yes, he does.

Beka: Does he really?

Dad: Yeah, everything we’ve said today is factual.

Beka: I said there was a wolf.

Me: Yeah, she did get the wolf right, which is –

Dad: What kind of pet would he have?

Beka: Rat.

Me: He’d have a rat.

Beka: Obviously, that’s so obvious.

Dad: He’s like Snape or something?

Me: Like Ron. Got the red hair.

Beka: Ugh, my freaking leg, I can’t get over it!

Me: Anyway.

Beka: Oh my goodness.

Dad: Oh, he does not look happy.

Beka: He looks like he’s from Lilo and Stitch.

Me: He – oh yeah, he does kinda look like, uh, what’s his name? Gantu.

Beka: His name is… Skin… Man.

Dad: Looks like a, uh –

Beka: This guy’s name is Skin Man.

Dad: Like a Transformer.

Me: Like a Transformer?

Dad: He looks like a Transformer.

Beka: No, he looks like –

Dad: Especially right here. *points to top-right picture* Doesn’t that look like it could turn into a car?

Beka: He looks like one of those hairless cats. Oh! Or Voldemort! Like, see, under the mask? *points to bottom-center picture* He looks like Voldemort, in the first movie?

Dad: He’s got no nose.

Me: Yeah, the nose?

Beka: The first-movie Voldemort.

Dad: This guy’s pure evil.

Beka: He shoots purple lasers.

Dad: What’s his name, Beka?

Beka: I told you, Skin Man.

Dad: Skin Man?

Me: Skin Man.

Dad: Skin Man…

Beka: He shoots purple lasers too.

Me: He shoots purple lasers and he’s a hairless cat. Or a Transformer, I guess?

Dad: He’s – he’s mean because he… can’t have macaroni and cheese. And that’s his favorite food.

Me: … This just came right out of left field, didn’t it.

Dad: That’s why he’s mean.

Me: Okay.

Dad: No one will give him macaroni and cheese.

Me: There we go.

Beka: I can see him liking mac and cheese.

Dad: Yeah, see? And no one gives it to him. So that’s why he wants to destroy the universe. You know, it’s a hate thing.

Me: There’s his tragic backstory.

Dad: Yeah. He used to be nice…

Me: All right. Uh, next one.

Beka: Ugh, this is the exact same person as last time.

Dad: No, this is like an evil witch. She’s got longer hair.

Beka: Is it a girl?

Me: Yeah.

Beka: Oh.

Me: You can go ahead and name her.

Dad: Um… Eastwick.

Beka: *whispering* That’s pretty good.

Dad: ‘Cause of The Witches of Eastwick. Eastwick.

Me: Okay, this is Eastwick. And –

Dad: This is Eastwick.

Me: And can you describe her personality?

Dad: She is – is – is, has, she’s like a wizard-type person. But an evil wizard. She has some magic behind her.

Beka: She definitely – potion-making, crystal-ball-seeing.

Dad: Yeah, so she’s just very thoughtful. Not thoughtful, uh – she’s not a brute-force kinda person. But she’ll – she’s – she’s more dangerous than, um, Skinhead.

Me: *laughs*

Dad: Because she – she’s got –

Beka: She prays.

Me: She prays?

Beka: But not to, like, God-God. Some other thing.

Dad: A demon, probably.

Beka: Yeah, probably. I see her praying to mean forces.

Dad: Or just some, like, made-up fantasy evil being thing.

Beka: Yeah.

Dad: How’d she get those glow-in-the-dark eyes?

Beka: Maybe she got it from the first guy. He’s glow in the dark.

Dad: Were his eyes glow-in-the-dark too?

Beka: No, his body was.

Dad: Oh.

Beka: When they turn off the lights. Was it the first guy? I don’t remember.

Dad: Skin Man?

Me: No, the, um, the very first one.

Beka: Danny Phantom.

Dad: Oh, Danny Phantom? He wasn’t glow-in-the-dark.

Me: Beka decided he was, that was the power she gave him.

Dad: He had the lightning thing.

Beka: He got struck by lightning and now he glows in the dark.

Me: Okay, um, wanna go on to the next one?

Dad: Yeah.

Beka: This looks like the ice princess from before.

Dad: Yeah, that’s her brother, though.

Beka: Oooohhh.

Dad: You can tell that’s her brother.

Beka: Yeah. Twin!

Me: They… dated.

Beka: Oh.

Dad: You know that – that fish? That has that little thing that lures people in?

Beka: Piranha!

Me: No, the anglerfish.

Dad: The anglerfish. This guy – this guy’s got an anglerfish thing going out of his head here. Look at that little, that little… wisp, of hair.

Beka: He can move people with his mind.

Dad: That would be annoying, that hair thing.

Beka: That would be annoying.

Dad: If he’s the brother of –

Beka: No, twin. Twin.

Dad: Twin brother. They look very much alike. They could just be from the same race, but…

Me: Yeah, they’re, um – well, he’s half-Altean and she is Altean.

Beka: Alien?

Me: Altean. But, yes, alien.

Beka: He can move people with his mind.

Dad: But they were twins, they were twin brother and sister.

Me: … Fine, okay.

Dad: And – and he’s a little bit more of an evil twin. He’s not as good. He’s not evil like, um –

Beka: They’re like Sharpay and Ryan. Sharpay was the ‘evil’ one but she wasn’t, like, fully evil.

Dad: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like that, yeah. Wasn’t Ryan kinda evil too?

Beka: No.

Me: So he’s the Sharpay to the princess’s Ryan.

Beka: They’re, like, stupid. They don’t succeed.

Dad: Yeah, he’d probably be a Sharpay type. He can – yeah, he can cause some trouble.

Me: Okay. Should we do the next one?

Beka: I thought this was the last one.

Me: Nope, there’s two more.

Dad: What’s his name?

Me: Oh yeah, we didn’t give him a name. Go ahead and name him.

Beka: Okay, let’s think of names and them say them at the same time, so we don’t copy off each other’s names.

Dad: Okay, hold on, let me think of one.

Beka: Let me think of one too…

*silence*

Dad: Okay, I’m ready.

Beka: I’m ready.

Dad: He’s… Tipko.

Beka: Octoxy.

Me: *laughing* What the – so we got, what was it, Tipko?

Dad: Tipko!

Me: And… Ocstasy?

Beka: Oc – tox – y. O-C-T-O-X-Y.

Me: Oc – tuck – sy.

Dad: Octasy.

Beka: Octoxy.

Me: So he’s like… a toxic octopus?

Beka: What does Tip-doh mean?

Dad: Tip-ko! Tip-doh, that’s like, tiptoe, like walking around on your tiptoes. This is Tipko.

Beka: Why Tipko?

Dad: I don’t know, he just looks like one!

Beka: Mine’s better. Ray, which one do you think is better?

Me: Well I like the concept of him being a toxic octopus, so I – but –

Dad: Tipko just sounds cooler.

Beka: Tipko’s stupid. That does not sound intimidating in any way.

Me: Does it need to be intimidating?

Dad: Yeah, I guess it doesn’t sound – ‘cause if, if, uh, if Osiris is the princess, then if he’s the brother, he’s gotta be kinda like a prince too. So… I guess Tipko doesn’t sound as – as royal.

Me: Prince Tipko.

Dad: But Ocstasy doesn’t sound royal either.

Beka: Oxtoxy.

Me: Octoxy.

Beka: Yeah, Octoxy.

Me: All right, ready for the next guy?

Dad: Oh, that’s – is that – that’s –

Beka: He’s the good guy.

Dad: That’s Pidge’s brother!

Me: Yep.

Beka: Who’s Pidge?

Me: Karen.

Beka: Oh. He’s a good guy.

Dad: He’s a good guy, ‘cause Pidge is a good person too. They’re wonderful.

Beka: Kind.

Dad: This is like a Harry Potter kinda guy. I mean, he’s – he’s brave, like Harry Potter, but, he’s also very lucky sometimes. And he – he – sometimes he gets in little scrapes like Harry does, and he gets out of ‘em, ‘cause – sometimes it’s just dumb luck.

Beka: Always.

Dad: And he’s… drinking a piña colada.

Beka: He can also sing.

Me: So what’s his name?

Dad: Oh –

Beka: Wait, don’t say it out loud, I’m thinking of one!

Dad: I can’t remember. I’m gonna go with Tipko again. It works better on this one.

Me: This is a name you two should know. (Note: I have a brother named Matt.) ‘Cause it’s –

Dad: Daniel!

Me: Close. (Note: I also have a brother named Daniel.)

Dad: I’m gonna go with Daniel.

Beka: Drake. (Note: I do not have a brother named Drake.)

Dad: Like, and Josh?

Me: This is Matt.

Dad: Matt? Oh. I was close.

Me: Yeah.

Dad: Does he sing?

Beka: Yeah, that’s what I said, he sang, look at him at the bottom! *points to bottom-center picture*

Dad: Is that singing?

Beka: If they ever have any musical numbers, he’s the one.

Dad: He’s got a huge mouth there, let me tell you.

Me: He’s never sung yet, but I imagine that he’d –

Dad: He’s got the mouth of a muppet right there. I can see – Ernie, Ernie from Sesame Street.

Me: He’s very excited in that picture.

Dad: Muppet-mouth.

Me: Okay, last one.

Beka: He’s evolved from bats.

Me: She.

Beka: She’s evolved from bats.

Dad: She’s – she’s on the bad side, but there’s a little bit of good in her. Um, ‘cause she – she looks perplexed about being evil. Her name is…

Beka: Taran.

Me: Okay.

Beka: Short for Tarantula.

Dad: Taran.

Me: Taran.

Dad: Her name is Taran.

Me: Short for Tarantula.

Dad: But – and she’s on the dark side, but she – she has goodness in her, and she’s wondering, why am I doing this bad stuff? Because, I’m not a bad person. I just… got in the wrong ship. And, and now that I’m in this ship I really gotta kinda follow the people that are leading it. But… I don’t wanna be part of this anymore. I wanna join the good side. But I can’t get on the good ship.

Me: Mm.

Dad: Lollipop.

Me: The Good Ship Lollipop. Can you guess which of the previous characters she’s related to?

Beka: I don’t remember any of them.

Dad: She is related to, um… Skinhead. But –

Beka: Skin Man!

Dad: She’s like the younger niece of Skinhead. But she’s on the wrong ship. She wants to be good.

Beka: Skin! Man!

Dad: Skin Man. Skin Man. Yes. That’s who she’s related to.

Me: Okay. That’s – that’s a good guess.

Dad: Okay.

Me: All righty.

Dad: Did you get everything?

Me: I believe so.

Dad: Okay, I’m glad we could help you. Glad we… taught you what this show is about.

Me: Thank you. For enlightening me.

Beka: I’m done.

Me: Okay, you can leave.

[deathandrenegades]

Tension (Dean x Reader) - Smut

Summary: Tensions rise between you and dean, and you find him fucking your irritation right out of you. literally.

Word Count: 2192

A/N: NSFW (obviously), choking kink, swearing, and over all just smutty smut smut.

Could be another part to this, inbox me and let me know if you want more!! Who wants to be on my smut tag list!? Y’all know a Bucky smut needs to happen.

You walked into the dingy motel, throwing your bag on the bed, Dean and Sam trailing behind you.

“What is your issue?” Dean snapped. You whirled around, not even remotely close to wanting to have this argument.

“I don’t have one.” You spat back at him.

Sam carded his fingers through his hair, obviously uncomfortable.

“Uhhhh I’m gonna go to the local library and try and find some records.” Sams voice trailed off as he closed the door behind him, you glared after him.

“Bullshit you don’t have one, you’ve been acting like a raging bitch ever since yesterday!” He roared. You had no clue why he’d give so much of a fuck, what did it matter to him whether you were in a bad mood or not, other than being around you. “Like what, do you need to get laid or something?” He threw at you, knowing fully how lonely the hunter life could get. You rolled your eyes at him, you’d been with the winchesters for a full year now, and you knew that he was aware of just how many nights by yourself you’d had.

“Don’t be ridiculous Dean.” You muttered, not meeting his eyes. Maybe that was truly your issue, maybe you just needed to get fucked. There was nothing else to explain why the last two days you’d been irritable, other than seeing Dean all over some busty blonde at a local bar, but why should you care? You and Dean had never suggested your relationship was anything more than just friends. He took a step closer to you, and then another, taking a hold of your chin and craning your head up to look at him.

“Is that what you need, you need to get fucked?” His eyes were completely hooded, his mouth parted slightly. You yanked your chin from his grasp, not backing away from him.

“I don’t know, is that what YOU need, Dean? Since you can’t shut up about it.” You smirked, his nostrils flared at you, his eyelashes fluttering not wanting to meet your gaze. Finally he looked at you, a look of determination on his face, and bent down to press his lips on yours. The kiss was insanely aggressive, your body reacting out of instinct as you fought back, your hands yanking at his hair. He growled against your mouth in response, backing you up until your back hit the wall, he pressed his knee in between your thighs. You whimpered into his mouth, he took that moment to drive his tongue into your mouth, exploring the inside of your mouth harshly. His hands gripped your thighs, pulling you up to wrap your legs around his waist. You moved your hands down his shoulders, squeezing as you went down to his biceps. Then you gripped the hem of his open button up, sliding it off of him quickly as his lips trailed down your jaw to your neck. You yanked his white tee off, his lips coming off you for a second, his forest green eyes completely shot with lust. Within seconds his lips were back on yours, your hands roaming over his soft skin. He started to move, before you knew it you were tossed onto your back on the bed, a soft gasp leaving your throat. He landed on top of you, his erection pressing through his jeans on to your core. He tugged off your shirt, kissing down in between your breasts to unclasp your bra. His mouth attacked your nipple, his right hand squeezing your other breast. He grinded his erection against your core, his teeth nipping at your nipple causing a sharp moan to escape your lips. your breath was ragged, eyes clamped shut as you felt his lips move lower and lower, finally unbuttoning and tugging off your jeans. He hovered over you, his fingers dragging up between your thighs. you bit your lip, craving friction and peaked your eyes open. He smirked down at you, his fingers pressing into your dampened thong.

“Look at how wet you are,” he laughed, leaning down to your ear and biting your lobe playfully. “Who got you this wet?” He teased in your ear. You whimpered in response, his fingers moving the fabric to slip beneath it, his forefinger slipping between your slick folds and settling to rub against your clit. you arched your back in response, a moan escaping you. “Who are you wet for?” He rumbled again in your ear.

“You.” You panted, barely able to think as he slipped a finger inside you. He moved back to your lips, kissing you fiercely.

“God, you’re so fucking tight.” He groaned against your mouth, leaning up onto his knees to move your panties off, then bending down between your thighs. He kissed and bit his way up, his hand squeezing your thigh. Slowly he worked his way foreword, licking a quick stripe up your folds. you gasped in response to the sudden, much needed friction. He lapped slowly at first, lifting his head to peek up at you, his lips leaving your dripping core. your head flew up to look at him, confused as to why he stopped.

“Oh I’m sorry, were you in the middle of something?” He grinned, his cheek leaning up against your thigh as he moved his fingers back to your folds, slowly pushing a finger in. you felt your walls clamp around him, your breath uneven.

“You okay, babygirl? You want more?” His eyes were dangerous, pupils completely blown out as he stared up at you with a mischievous grin on his face. You whined in response, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of just how much you in fact did need him, no not even that, how much you fucking craved him.

“Come on sweetheart, use your words, move that pretty mouth for me.” He taunted, you licked your lips, mind fumbling to find words.

“I want more.” you pleaded, your mouth dry as you continued to pant. He pushed another finger in, your back arching as you cried out. He worked his fingers in and out of you, setting an achingly slow pace. You whimpered, needing more, your core aching for a release.

“More.” you sighed out, his tongue pressing to your clit in response. He quickened the pace, his fingers pushing in and out of you, his tongue moving in swirls around your clit. Your breaths quickly turned into moans as you felt your orgasm build inside you, your legs locking around Dean. He used his free hand to grip your hip, attempting to hold you still as your hips bucked against his mouth. He crooked his fingers inside you, you yelled in response as an orgasm washed over you. His pace slowed to a lull, removing his fingers and running his tongue over your clit and folds in slow, lazy circles, riding your high out. He finally clambered back up to you, his eyes roaming over your post-cum condition. Your hands trailed down his chest to undo his jeans, his mouth kissing a trail up you neck.

You pulled his jeans down and off, your hand running over his member in his briefs.

“So how’d I taste?” your voice sultry in his ears, breaking the deafening silence between the two of you. You felt him shudder as you slipped a hand inside his briefs, taking him in your hand and stroking him, spreading the precum from the tip.

“Delicious.” He breathed, kissing you in response, and you sucked his bottom lip into your mouth to bite it. He groaned in response, biting you back as he pressed his hard cock against you, his briefs rubbing against your clit. He slipped off his briefs and grinded his length against your core, you moaned in response, still dripping from your orgasm. You reached down again and lined him up, needing him inside you, needing to feel him fill you and make you scream again.

“You want it that bad?” He breathed out, half smirking. your answer was angling your hips upward as his head caught in your wet folds, slowly slipping in. your breaths both caught in your throat as he continued to push in slowly, both of you sighing out once he was all the way in, your nails dug into his shoulders. He leaned back, taking your leg over his shoulder, the other wrapped around his hip, and started to move, quickening the pace. You grabbed onto his arm as he slowly moved his hand up your torso, stopping to squeeze your breast before he continued traveling up, his hand gently wrapping around your throat. You moaned in response, your hand gripping his wrist. You finally took a second to take him in, he was so beautiful, muscular and tanned from all the days spent hunting, his forehead creased together as he stared at himself moving in and out of you, sweat beading off his forehead. He caught your eye and bent down to you, his hand leaving your throat, your leg still wrapped around his shoulder, the other lazily on his hip now slipping off. His lips came to yours in a heated kiss as he shoved himself deeper inside of you, a moan bubbling off his lips as he felt just how deep he was getting, your nails digging into his shoulders and raking down his back. His pace got even faster, his pelvis slapping against your clit with every thrust. You felt a second orgasm building, three times as hard as the first, you moved your lips away from his mouth to bite into his shoulder, he grunted in response and slammed into you harder and harder. He yanked your hair, ripping your teeth off his shoulder and you cried out as your second orgasm washed over your, your walls spasming around his cock inside you. He groaned in response, his thrusts becoming sloppy as your orgasm triggered his.

Slowly he stilled on top of you, kissing your shoulder, then slid off with a groan. You laid there completely breathless, having had one of the best orgasms of your life. No one would ever be able to top that. He grunted next to you, looking over to him in response. He was soaked with sweat, just as breathless as you are. He held his arm out, turning to look over at you. You rolled over to him, your head laying on his sweaty chest as your breaths attempted to even out.

“That was..” he muttered after a minute. You smiled in response, eyes shut as fatigue crashed over you.

“Long overdue.” You giggled at the thought of just how long you’ve wanted this moment, to know what he was like in bed, and just how good he felt inside of you. He chuckled in agreement, leaning to kiss the top of your head.

“I need a shower.” you yawned.

“Me too.” You felt his head turn to look down at you, you looked up to find his face twisted into a grin. Your brow furrowed for a second. 

“You’re up for round two?” You half laughed, completely taken aback. 

“I don’t know, something about being inside that tight, wet, pu-” He started to mumbled, leaning towards you as your cut him off in a kiss, your cheeks heating up from his words. You pulled away to yawn, unsure if you could really handle him again. 

“Mmmm I don’t know Dean,” You sighed against his mouth, your hand trailing down his chest to wrap around his half-hard cock. “I don’t know if I can handle another round.” You grinned as you felt his body tense up against you. Dean pulled away, looking at you as he slowly combed his fingers through your hair. 

“I know, I was great, wasn’t I.” He said cockily. You removed your hand to playfully slap his chest and roll your eyes, your arm wrapping around his torso as he kept playing with your hair. 

You had to admit, there was a lot of things you could read into right now. Like what this all meant, if he wanted more, if he actually had feelings towards you or if this was just sex for him. For you, I mean hell, it could be either. A relationship with Dean might be nice, but then again, being a hunter, relationships weren’t something you’d normally take part in. And you knew Dean, you knew he didn’t do family. Not because he didn’t want one, in fact it was just the opposite of that. But because as a hunter, he doesn’t want to endanger anyone more than they already are. But you weren’t about to lay here and ruin what was happening right now, Dean cuddling up with you, hands in your hair. Whether it was because you both were lonely or not, didn’t stop the fact that you both probably needed more than a quick fuck and an even quicker goodbye. At least you both were comfortable enough with each other to just lay here, feel good and not have to think for a minute. 

But minutes don’t last forever, now do they?

sooooo…part 2????

[readingraebow]

Les Misérables Section Nine

Part 4 - Books 11-15

1. Which characters join the mob in book 11? Gavroche happens upon Enjolras, Courfeyrac, Combeferre and Feuilly and asks where they are off to. They tell him to join them. Following them is Monsieur Mabeuf who the group had found wandering the street. The told him he must go home because there's going to be fighting. He says he doesn't mind and asks where they're going. They say they're going to overthrow the Government and he says good and follows them. Then they were joined by a tall, grey-haired man who none of them knew. Then, finally, they passed by Courfeyrac's house and he went in to grab some things he forgot. While there, the concierge tells him there's a lad whose been waiting for over an hour to see him. The lad says he's looking for Marius and when Courfeyrac says he doesn't have any information, he ends up telling the youth that he's going to the barricades and leaves with his friends. Some time later, he looks back and discovers the youth is also following them.

2. Where do Courfeyrac et al. build a barricade? So Enjolras, Gavroche, Courfeyrac, Feuilly, Jean Prouvaire and Combeferre pas by the Rue de la Chanvrerie where the rest of the group is waiting and they're like "come with us!" and Bossuet's like "just build the barricade here." So they do. The side entrance from the street narrowed into a bottleneck, the Rue de Mondétour could be easily blocked on either side and frontal attack was then impossible from the Rue Saint-Denis. So it was actually a pretty perfect location to build their barricade. Plus they could wait inside the tavern instead of outside where, I think, it was actually raining.

3. Hugo writes that at the barricade, “these fifty men were waiting for sixty thousand.” Are there any causes for which you feel so passionately that you would be willing to take on those odds? Uhhhh. Honestly probably not, haha. I can't really think of anything that I'm this passionate about? Though I definitely get where they're coming from. If I lived in such oppression and hardship with absolutely no end in sight and the government only making things worse, I would do exactly what they're doing. But even though I don't always agree with our current government, I can still afford to live and live well. But currently there's honestly nothing that I feel so passionate about, I would literally die for it. (Unless it's my family. And by that I mean Dalton, Hailey, Havin and the cats, haha.)

4. Which spy is discovered at the barricade? So it's been so long since we've seen Javert that I literally forgot about him, ahaha. But Enjolras is sending Gavroche out to look past the barricade and before he goes, Gavroche points to a guy in the corner and says to keep an eye on the big 'uns and points to a man. He says that the man is a police spy who picked him up less than a fortnight ago. So Enjolras and some bigger guys confront him and he confesses that he's a representative of the law named Javert. He search him and find his card confirming this. Enjolras then informs him that he will be shot two minutes before the barricade falls because they don't want to waste ammunition.

5. Who is the first to die at the barricade? When the barricade was first attacked, the flag fell and Enjolras said they needed to put it back up and asked if anyone volunteered. The flag had been right at the front and was literally right in the line of fire so whoever put it back probably wouldn't live through the experience. Well, Monsieur Mabeuf had stayed with the group even though they repeatedly told him to go home. He'd mostly just sat in a corner of the tavern though. So when the fighting started, he heard it and got up and appeared outside just in time to hear Enjolras ask for a volunteer. So he took the flag and put it back but was pretty much immediately shot. Enjolras used him to rally the troops though, saying they're young and stood back while he was old and volunteered to die.

6. Who saved Marius? At what cost? So the youth who was waiting for Courfeyrac turns out to be Éponine. She's the reason Cosette left. She switched clothes with a body and gave Jean Valjean the note saying he should move. And when Cosette wrote a letter to Marius telling him she was going, she gave it to Éponine to post though Éponine didn't want Marius to get the letter. But she went to his residence and that's when she followed them to the barricade. Well, when Marius showed up he used both of the pistols he brought so he went inside to get a new weapon and someone was going to shoot him when a hand shot out and stopped the bullet. It was Éponine and the bullet went through her hand, into her chest and out her back. So when she finally found him and told him everything, she was already dying. She does give him Cosette's letter and asks one thing of him. She asks him to kiss her on the forehead after she dies and he does.

7. How does Jean Valjean come to learn of the intruder to his life with Cosette? When they left their home, Jean Valjean and Cosette didn't take much with them but Cosette brought her blotter and blotting book. She'd left her book out on the dresser and it was still open to the page where she'd blotted the letter to Marius. It was backwards, because it was the blotting but Jean Valjean saw it through a mirror and read the letter (ironically before Marius even got it) and was completely heartbroken that Cosette hadn't told him and that she had someone else in her life. He loves her like a father but Cosette is all that he has so, unconsciously, he doesn't want anyone else to ~take her away from him.

8. What happens to Gavroche as he returns to the barricade from his errand? So he sees this guy sleeping in a cart and thinks the cart would make a great addition to the barricade. He takes the cart and leaves a "receipt", haha. But having the cart with him slows him down. And so a man in uniform stops him, thinking he's a scoundrel and asks where he's headed. Gavroche refuses to answer and instead tries to use the cart to ram the man. The man falls backward and his gun discharges. Well, they were near another barricade and this brought everyone from it out and firing. Though the only casualties from this battle were windowpanes, haha. But Gavroche makes it out of that and still takes the cart with him??? And from what I can tell (the last paragraph honestly confused me), the cart was attacked again and Gavroche was taken prisoner.

  Section Nine Reading Journal

Wow okay. So this was a trip. So apparently we’re right upon the “everyone starts dying now” portion of this book. And honestly I’m not prepared. Though since we’re right in the middle of such a big battle, I also don’t want to stop reading??? So this is a huge problem??? I want to read the thing but I don’t read the thing. *flies off to hide in the woods*

But yeah. This section was honestly super interesting, especially the building of the barricade. And I’m SO GLAD Les Amis is back. It was like they were introduced and then just completely disappeared for a long while. (I want to say it was literally 300 pages or 500 or something like that. Because for a long while it’s been the Marius and Cosette Show, haha.) So I’m glad they’re back.... if only just to die. #distressed

Also Gavroche joining this fight. But the part where he kept asking for a musket and Enjolras is like “once we make sure all the adults have muskets, we’ll see about arming the children.” I seriously snorted so loud.

So yes. I am continuing to love this book and I can’t wait (but am also terrified) to read the last two sections!!! This has been such a long, wild ride. Wow.

[starlight-drive-in]

All My Life, for You - Ch. 6: Morning Tension

Fic Description:

Mi-Cha and Saeyoung have been happily married for 5 years and their lives have never been happier. The same could be said for Saeran who is now in a much healthier place than he was a few years ago. The twins are close once again, their lives are healthy and normal for the most part. It would seem the picture perfect happily ever after, if it weren’t for the fact that someone who has been looking for them for a long time is about to make an unwelcome appearance.

Saeyoung has two things in this world he has sworn to protect, and nothing is going to stop him from keeping his promise this time.

Relationships: Saeyoung Choi/MC (named), Saeran Choi/OC

Chapter Description:

MI-Cha inadvertently gives Saeyoung a lot more anxiety than he needs right now. The twins get a lead on the source of the trouble. I threw in a couple more tender/funny moments just for good measure.

AO3 Link | First Chapter

Just a few hours later Mi-Cha awakens, having gone to bed hours before the twins she knows they won't be up for a while and that when they do get up they are going to be exhausted. She gently wiggles her way out of Saeyoung’s arms, causing him to stir at the loss of contact.

“Mmm, no. Elly, don’t run away. So soft.” He murmurs in sleep-talk, his glasses crooked on his face as he had obviously forgotten to take them off.

Mi-Cha has to hold back a giggle, she really wishes she had a video of that. She gently removes his striped frames and places them on the bedside table, frowning as she notes the deep red indent on his nose where they’ve been pushing too hard for the past few hours.

She silently leaves them both and heads back to her and Saeyoung’s rightful room across the hallway to take a shower and get ready. 40 minutes later she stands in line with 2 bottles of Ph.D. Pepper in her hand at the coffee shop and convenience store down the street from the hotel.

“Anything else?” The barista asks.

“These and two coffees, one with cream and one sugar, and one with cream and eight sugars.”

“Excuse me did you say eight?” The barista questions, doubtfully

“Yea.” She responds, letting her eyes drift over the menu above the barista’s head. “Oh! And could you put the mocha-mint syrup in there too?”

“Yea, sure.” The barista says slowly.

“Awesome! Thanks so much!” Mi-Cha smiles cheerily.

Mi-Cha is so caught up with the logistics of ordering and figuring out how she’s going to carry 4 drinks that she doesn't notice a man in a baseball cap and sunglasses watching her intently from one of the shop’s tables.

“Here you go.” The barista says, handing over the 2 coffee cups as Mi-Cha hands them the cash.

“Thank You!” Mi-Cha responds, tucking the two sodas under each arm and holding the coffees in either hand.

She turns and leaves the shop, blind to the man getting up from his seat to follow behind her.

--

Back in the hotel room, Saeyoung begins to stir, feeling the empty space in front of him he half-consciously turns over to grope the other side of the bed in search for the familiar warmth of his wife. He thinks he’s found what he’s searching for promptly pulling the found body toward him.

“Ack! What the fuck?!” The body says, squirming out of his grasp faster than Saeyoung’s brain can figure out why Mi-Cha would be acting this way.

Saeran stands next to the bed in a defensive position, justifiably startled from being grabbed in his sleep.

“Saeran?” Saeyoung asks, eyes fixed on the blurry figure at the foot of the bed. “What are you doing in my bed?”

“This is my bed!” Saeran fires back, incredulously. He really isn't much of a morning person as it is and this isn't helping.

“Oh. look at that.” Saeyoung realizes as he scans the rest of his out of focus surroundings. “Where are my glasses?” He yawns before spotting them on the nightstand and slipping them on.

“Ugh!” Saeran groans exasperatedly as he makes his way into the bathroom, shutting the door.

“Saeran!” Saeyoung calls from the room a few moments later.

“WHAT?!” Saeran calls back annoyed, less than ok with being interrupted while trying to do his business.

“Do you know where Mi-Cha is?!” His voice takes on that desperate tone that makes Saeran feel guilty instantly.

“No, I don’t,” Saeran says, his voice at regular tone again.

“I’m checking the other room,” Saeyoung announces as the door clicks shut.

When Saeyoung finds the other room empty he immediately dials Mi-Cha’s number, pacing frantically and running his hands through his hair in a sad attempt to dispel nervous energy. The line trills four times - too many. She always picks up ring one or two. What happened? Where is she? This can’t be happening again.

“Please pick up, Mi-Cha, please pick up” He begs as the fifth ring begins.

-

Mi-Cha is just about halfway back when her phone begins to ring.

“Shit.” She curses as the upbeat instrumental tone that represents her husband is calling plays.

“Uhhhh” She panics for a moment as she looks around for a place set the drinks on, spotting a low retaining wall just a little further down the street, she speed walks to its location, being careful not to spill anything and places her cargo down. Fumbling in her bag, her hand finally closes around her phone and she picks up the call.

“Hey, Sae!” She answers cheerily, oblivious to her husband's panic. The figure behind her promptly turns around, fading back into the crowd as she answers her phone, warded off for now.

“MC! Oh, thank God. Are you ok? Where are you?” He rattles off.

“What? Yea I’m fine I just went to get us our caffeine fixes” She says confusedly.

She hears him sigh in relief. “I was worried. You weren't there when I woke up I- I thought maybe-”

“I’m fine Saeyoung. I’m sorry for worrying you - I’ll be back in a minute ok?” Trying her best to ease his mind.

“Can you stay on the phone until you’re back on our floor?” He says quietly, almost child-like.

“Uhh, I can try? I'm kind of carrying a lot hold on.” She haphazardly shifts her phone to her shoulder while gathering her things again. “Ok, we’re good, on my way!”

“Thank you.” He breathes.

“Well doesn't this bring back memories?” She notes into the phone as she turns into the hotel lobby.

He chuckles shortly while heading back to the hallway, quickly popping into the other room to signal to Saeran that everything is ok, and then takes a post outside the door. “Yea, I suppose it does.”

“At least you're not pretending like you’re not madly in love with me this time.” She teases, pushing the elevator call button with her elbow.

“Never, never again.” He promises.

“I know, Love.” She says sweetly as she steps onto the elevator.

After a few moments, she steps back onto their floor. “Ok, one special delivery of morning caffeine on the way!.” She says, already seeing her husband coming down the hall to assist her with her carrying the beverages back to the room he left his brother in.

Mi-Cha walks back into the room alongside Saeyoung, finding Saeran staring blankly out the window as he often does in the morning.

“Ok, I have two Ph.D. Pepper’s for the most adorable husband in the galaxy, one sickeningly sweet coffee for a Saeran Choi, and a normal person coffee for me!” Mi-Cha announces cheerily, trying her best to lighten the mood as she hands the boys their drinks.

Before she’s even two sips into her own drink, Saeyoung has already chugged almost an entire bottle.

“Slow down or you’re gonna choke yourself,” Mi-Cha warns just before her husband gags on a too-large gulp.

Saeran snorts into his coffee lid at the irony as Mi-Cha pats his back firmly, attempting to assist.

After Saeyoung has recovered from his coughing fit, something occurs to him. “You weren't followed, were you?” he asks Mi-Cha.

“No. I mean, I do-”

“She won’t know if she was. Trust me.” Saeran interrupts

“I’ll take that coffee back now.” Mi-Cha retaliates, holding her hand out toward her him.

“Too late,” he says, throwing the empty cup into the trash bin.

Saeyoung takes her hand instead and holds it to his chest. “You know I'd do anything to protect you, but I can't be there all the time. Just… I know you always believe the best of everyone you meet. You think everyone is good intentioned like you are. Hell, I would have never met you if you weren’t. But please, help God Seven sleep at night and have your guard up? At least until whatever this is has been solved.” He pleads, placing a kiss on her knuckles.

“Yea.” Mi-Cha swallows thickly, he’s right. “I’ll be ok, plus I took that self-defense course last year, remember?”

Just then, Saeyoung’s laptop pings with a notification.

“What’s that?” Mi-Cha asks.

“Search results on where these alerts are coming from,” Saeyoung explains, dropping her hand to attend to his computer.

Saeran follows his brother, just as curious about the source.

The three of them watch Saeyoung’s screen as a satellite map location loads in.

“That looks familiar,” Saeyoung says slowly as his eyes scan the screen.

The map location zooms it to reveal the roof and front facade of an abandoned house if it could even be called a house.

Both twins inhale sharply as Mi-Cha looks on, trying to notice what they’ve already seemed to have grasped.

“That’s…” Saeyoung starts, not wanting to say it allowed.

“That hellhole…” Saeran voices.

“Where you guys lived when you were younger?” Mi-Cha finally says, having put two and two together.

“Yea,” Saeyoung confirms, not noticing his finger twitching nervously on the keys.

“I think I'm going to be sick,” Saeran says, placing a hand on his head and averting his eyes from the screen.