#uhhhh just gonna put some tags here for reach

[allthegothihopgirls]

haiiii..... if u guys wouldn't mind filling out this form that would be FABULOUS and it would really help me out a lot!!

[filthfix]

Anything - skz

Pairing: Reader x Ot8

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3.7k

Tags: Birthday sex, turn taking, sloppy 2-7, creampie, cum kink/cum eating/cum covering, neck biting, voyeurism, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, “good girl”, unprotected

Summary: It’s Jeongins birthday and he wants to run a train 😶

A/N: I almost named this ‘All In’... 💀 anyways uhhhh happy birthday Jeongin here’s some absolute filth <3

Four days before Jeongin’s Birthday

Chan throws himself on the couch next to Jeongin whose preoccupied with his phone.

“So.. what do you want for your birthday? I can get you anything.”

He’s being his usual playful self, nudging and pinching at Jeongin earning a light whine of acknowledgment from him. He doesn’t look up from his phone but he stopped scrolling, thinking it over quickly before lowering his phone with a soft click.

“Anything?”

“Yep, name it!”

Chan nods feeling confident.

“I wanna share with you guys”

He says it plainly and at first Chan’s confused tilting his head to the side but then raising an eyebrow when it finally clicks. They all had a brief drunken conversation some time ago about something along those lines and it quickly became an unspoken agreement that they’d make it happen eventually with Jeongin seemed the most interested in it.

“I think I can set that up.” He smirks and pats Jeongin’s leg before getting up and leaving the room.

2 days before Jeongin’s birthday

Your phone rings on your walk around town and you pull it out to see Chan’s ID take up the screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” You answer

There’s hesitation in the air before he speaks

“Are you alone by any chance?”

“Uh”

You look around before crossing a small street

“Yeah, I guess?”

It’s probably as alone as you could be in the middle of town.

“Jeongin’s birthday’s coming up and we were wondering if you could help us with something.”

“Yeah, sure, anything.”

“Uh.. you might want to hold off on saying anything until you hear what I’m asking for”

“What? You gonna ask me to steal for him or something?”

You laugh

“Well, No.. he wants to try something...”

His voice trails off

“Something?” You push

“... are you familiar with the term ‘running a train’ ”

The way he says it mimicked ripping a bandaid off and it stops you dead in your tracks.

“Huh?”

You’re completely thrown off and at first you thought you heard him wrong but he’s quick to confirm it again.

“Yeah.. you won’t have to do any real work, It’s just us all getting off together. You can lay back and relax and we’ll take good care of you.”

“Uh? All? Is this a joke?”

You notice an empty bench up ahead and move the conversation over there, dropping yourself on it haphazardly.

“It’s not.. I’m being serious” he laughs sheepishly

This isn’t something you ever thought would come up and a part of you is afraid to even think about this seriously.. but.. you are the type to want to try everything at least once. This could be your only chance for something like this and they’re probably the best option, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t at least a bit interested. The more your mind paints a picture the more the little slut on your shoulder begs and without a second pause you agree.

“I’ll do it..”

“Really? Are you sure? If you want time to think about it let me know, I’d want you to be absolutely sure and okay with this.”

He sounds genuinely surprised

“I’m sure, I did say anything.”

Chan laughs and you have to bite you bottom lip to hold back the smile forming.

“Okay..” you can practically hear his smile “I’ll text you later about it.”

With that he hangs up and you let out the breathe you didn’t realize you were holding. You throw your head back and bring your hands up, brushing them over your hair. You feel dumbfounded and oddly excited with a million questions running through your mind. Was this a bad idea? Are you going to regret it? The relationship you have with them will definitely change.. without a doubt. They could of asked anyone else too? But why you? Are you even ready? All eight of them??????

The realization of what you’ve just done and are about to do hits you hard and you decide to abandon your original plans for the day and go back home to process this. You huff and jump off the bench, turning quick on your heels in the direction of your house.

Jeongin’s Birthday

Your minds been foggy for the last two days, a lot of alone time and a lot of texting Chan. He’d given you the details of how the night would go and washed away any worries you might of had. He even shared how they all (mainly the younger ones) argued over who was going after who which made you laugh and feel a lot more lighthearted towards the whole thing.

You threw on your favorite underwear set and some comfy clothes right over it. Since it’ll just be tossed to the side you don’t bother thinking too much on it and just check over yourself one last time in the mirror before you’re out the door to their place. 

Reminding yourself that

It’s for Jeongins birthday

-

Once you’re there, Chan’s the one to let you in greeting you with a warm hug. Behind him is Jisung and Hyunjin focused on a quiet conversation between themselves that they break only for a second to throw a wave your way. Chan points between the two, chuckling.

“They’re still not over the order.”

You smile and shake your head at their usual behavior. Chan then puts a hand on the small of your back and ushers you past them to one of the rooms. You’d been over plenty of times before so you’re familiar with the set up and feel pretty calm despite the promise of getting railed but multiple men tonight.

In the room you’re greeted by the rest of them all scattered around and hanging out like they normally do. Jeongin’s seated near a desk and he’s the first one you approach and pull into a hug.

“Happy 20th Birthday.” you coo in his ear

He thanks you with a giggle and tightens the hug. As you pull away your scent lingers and he realizes just how fond he is of you. His face is red and warm but you don’t notice since your attentions drawn to the door, Hyunjin and Jisung finally join the room looking content.

“We’ve decided”

“Okay then..” Chan gives a patronizing snort and then turns towards you with a warm smile

“Whenever you’re ready”

It all seemed to go by so fast from that

He waves to the bed, Felix and Changbin who had been laying on it get up and your feet automatically move towards it feeling all their eyes follow you. You crawl onto the bed and sit on your knees facing them. Chan said all you had to do to tell them you were ready was to get undressed. Your hands held the bottom of your shirt about to lift it. Tentatively, you give one last glance around the room before slipping off each and every item you had on and letting them fall to the floor next to the bed.

Once that last piece is off you hear a sharp inhale from Minho whose hooded eyes rake over your body. You feel awkward at first but having all their eyes on you, bare and waiting for them, satisfies some weird fantasy you weren’t aware of just yet.

Chans the first to make a move towards you, lightly pushing you to lean back on the bed. He hovers over you, one of his hands resting next to your head and the other grabbing your hand and snaking it under his shirt tracing them along his abs. His eyes are locked on yours and when your arousal becoming noticeable he backs up and strips off his clothes to his boxers.

Your eyes glaze over when you take in his body and the growing print on him. He watches you with a hungry expression and settles in between your legs. He licks his thumb and softly presses it to your clit earnings a low moan from you. He rubs slow circles until the confines of his boxers become unbearable and your mewls intensify.

He grabs at his waistband and frees himself in one move. With a few slow strokes down the length of his cock he’s lining himself up with you. You feel him against your folds warm and throbbing and you eagerly move towards him, shuddering when he slips all the way in.

“A-ahh” he gasps

He starts a steady pace, hands gripping at your thighs. Your expressions urge him on and he picks up the pace craving more of your body. You could already feel yourself ready to cum but hold back to enjoy the straight bliss as he slides against your walls. You squeeze around him and he groans in response dropping his hands from your thighs and letting them fall on either sides of your head, this position letting him reach deeper. He mutters endless praises of how glad he is that you said yes and how he wanted this just as much.

The stutter of his hips before he pulls out and cums right over your pussy is what sends you off the edge. You cover your face as each wave hits over and over. Sneaking a peak to the side through blurry eyes you watch Chan put himself away and breathlessly join the others on the wall. Each looking lust blown, hungry, and ready to pounce. You noticed a few palming themselves and shifting in their spots before you attention was stolen by Changbin.

He’s aggressive straight away biting at your exposed neck. You yelp once and then twice when you feel his fingers graze your still sensitive clit. He’s moving between your folds collecting your slickness and Chan’s cum. When he pulls away to coat his cock with it you look at him. He didn’t bother to undress all the way, just enough to let his frustration free. He lifts up his muscle tee slightly letting you catch a glimpse of his abs before he fills you up. He’s thicker than Chan and you feel every bit of the stretch.

“Go ahead make eye contact with them”

He growls, giving a cocky smirk and starting up at a rapid speed. Your head falling to the side involuntary and you catch a glimpse of all of them. You notice Jeongin first, still seated at the desk, bouncing his leg and gripping at his seat a little too tight. His face is fully red and you can hear slight pants coming from him.

When Changbin gives a particularly harsh stroke your attention shifts to Jisung seated on the floor next to the desk. He’s long discarded his clothes and has been jerking away at himself. You catch him stop abruptly and throw his head back, eyebrows furrowed and dick twitching as he clearly tries to hold himself back. Your highs already at its brink again when you lock eyes with Minho whose eyes are filled with the same devilish glare as before.

“Cum” he mouths and you do, probably the hardest you ever came but Changbin doesn’t let up. His hips rocking back and forth harder and harder. Your uncontrollable and overstimulated moans filling the room.

“Look at me”

He demands and you do as he says through now teary eyes. His eyes were as menacing as his strokes were and he give you two last deep pumps before spilling every drop in you.

“Good girl”

He backs out and with satisfaction watches your legs starting to shake. Hyunjin with his bottom lip between his teeth tags in next. He’s shirtless and his pants are tight. He immediately has his hands on your body sensually rubbing up and down your waist. You brace yourself thinking he’d immediately get to it and be just as aggressive but instead he chooses a softer approach.

“Are you feeling good?”

His silky voice asks as his hands stops just about your thighs giving you a light squeeze. You dazedly nod and he smiles.

“You’re doing so well for us.”

You only hum as he takes in your fucked out expression. He’s as playful as ever kneading at your thigh with one hand and unbuckling his self with the other. Once free he taps and slides against your hole collecting the cum leaking out of you and getting ready to push it back in.

“Are you ready, baby?”

“P-please” you purr and he easily glides in.

He’s longer but definitely thinner than the last two and choses a slower more rhythmic pace with you, which was nice and needed following Changbins aggressive assault. He slow fucks the cum into you savoring every pulse and grip of your walls over him. It takes a second for you to cum again this time in small bursts and Hyunjin exhales in approval, taking a small break after you ride your high all the way through to whisper praises and grip at your body.

When you move your hips down to signal him to keep going he meets it with a snap drawing moans from both of you simultaneously. This round his thrusts are more heated and feverish. You’re caught up in watching the way Hyunjins hair falls into his face to notice Jisung approach. Stroking himself over your chest.

“Mmm, wait for me.”

Hyunjin murmurs and Jisung just nods. You’re curious but your second high from him approaches too closely to get to question it. The coil threatens to snap and right as you’re about to let it Hyunjin pulls out prompting a whimper in protest. He strokes himself over you nodding at Jisung before painting your pussy in his hot seed. Jisung follows shortly after shuddering and spilling right over your chest.

Jisung then eagerly trades with Hyunjin his eyes glued to your cum covered body. He quickly aligns himself and slips in with a high whine. He falls on his hands and relentlessly thrusts into you fucking you like a rabid rabbit, the curve of him hitting all the right spots. He watches you bounce and moan under him with his bottom lip tightly bitten. The snugness of you and his already sensitive dick has him struggling to stay up and he doesn’t know how much longer he has before he busts again.

Luckily for you, he’s finishing off exactly where Hyunjin left off and you cum instantly squeezing around Jisung and milking him of his second orgasm in the process. Jisung practically falls to his knees and it takes every last bit of strength to pull away from you. At this point you’ve already lost count of how many times you’ve came and you’re just barely done with them. You start to relax into the bed breathing heavy and feeling fully spent when Minho comes up and taps on your thigh.

“Hopefully you’re not too tired to play with me”

He chuckles and passes a finger against your clit making you jolt. He collects the cum from you, bringing it up to his lips and licking it clean before closing your legs and roughly moving them to the side. He’s familiar with this kind of game and loves when they’re already this far gone when he gets to them. Easier to mold and easier to break. You’re clenching around nothing as he unbuckles and lines himself up. 

He pushes in all the way feeling pure ecstasy as you cry out. He hastily picks up the pace while pressing your thighs down together making you even tighter on him. You could feel him at the pit of your stomach making the joke of getting your guts rearranged seem all too real now.

This is overkill

Invades your mind when another orgasm hits you leaving your vision white. Minho takes this as his que to hit harder and quicker until your mouth is full of his name. It felt like hours of him relentlessly pounding into your overly sensitive cunt before he nuts in you with a grunt.

You feel so full and unable to move, molded into a true fuck doll for them at this point. Minho pulls out cleaning off his dick and uses you as a towel then leaves you without saying anything else. He pats Felix on the back before pushing him towards you. Felix looks star struck and you’re now needier than ever. Making it obvious by spreading your legs for him and rubbing at yourself with one hand, the other messing with the cum on your chest.

He whispers something inaudible and yanks off his clothes. Grabbing you by the waist to push you further up the bed so he could climb in right after. He’s clumsy and slips trying to find your hole and you have to guide him in.

His strokes are sloppy right away, either overly excited or new to this and it was barely hitting the right spots. You decide to help him out and grind back against him meeting each stroke. He stills automatically letting you take over, his face bright red and focused on where you and him meet. You move faster and mutter his name until you hit your peak.

“Y/N,” he gasps “C-can I cum on your face?”

Cloudy minded but still surprised by his dirty request you nod and he quickly moves to your side. His hands move fast up and down the length of his dick right over your face. You open your mouth and stick out your tongue bracing yourself for your reward. A slew of curse words leave his mouth before your face gets warm with his spunk.

You wipe the bit that covered your eyes so you could see again and popped that on your tongue keeping eye contact with Felix as you swallow, noticing the way he practically melts from it.

Begrudgingly, Felix gets up and Seungmin, whose been quiet this whole time, joins in his usual bright smile on his face.

“Poor baby,” He mocks “Tired, huh?”

You’re too incoherent to respond and he’s well aware of that. He laughs and massages your legs making sure you’re okay.

“Please” you beg

“What was that?”

All you could do is point at the tent in his pants and his eyebrows raise. He shrugs and starts to undress. He’s not one to hold back after all.

“You sure you can take this?”

He doesn’t even let you answer just buries his cock in you and waits. You grow frustrated thinking you were finally gonna get what you wanted just to be teased instead. You take matters into your own hand again and lift yourself up then slide back down onto him throwing your head back when he hits the spot. Seungmin shakes his head and lands a hand on your hip gripping you so you can’t move again.

He hums in an almost condescending way.

“Still needy? Or have you been fucked so dumb that this all you know now?”

He tilts his head as you whimper under him. All you seem to be able to do is pant in protest. You feel him twitch inside of you and your eyes squeeze shut at the slight friction from it.

“Can’t even answer.. tsk I think it’s obvious which one you are.”

He finally gives in and moves, slow and meticulously.

“You’re doing so well”

He pants

“And I thought I’d give you a second to catch your breath”

His thrusts get sharper and leave you gasping

“But if it’s not what you want...”

He speeds up

“..who am I to deny”

His fingers snake over to your clit and rubbing rough circles into it in time with the motion of his hips.

“So good”

Just like that you unravel with a loud groan

“Dummy.. couldn’t even wait for me?”

He laughs and pulls out a little too quickly leaving you with an feeling empty. He jerks off over your body drinking in the way you lay like a broken toy. It doesn’t take long for him to finish across your thighs and you thank him relentlessly.

He shakes his head

“No, no, baby”

“Thank you for letting us use your body like this”

In a blink, he’s gone and in his place was Jeongin with his pretty dick in hand.

“I wanna fuck their cum into you”

“So badly”

His voice is dripping in desire. He presses his red and angry tip to your folds collecting the cum and coating himself with as much of it as he can. Once he’s pleased he asks for the okay which you give him without hesitation. He bottoms out instantly digging his nails into your body at the same time. The urge to bust right then and there washes over him but he’s waited too long to be out already. He holds back for a few seconds till he adjusts before rutting into you. You hadn’t expected the level of precision that came from him and cry out as he fucks you raw.

“Hyunjin”

Jeongin chokes out

“Kiss”

He nods at you and Hyunjin without a second of doubt complies lightly shuffling over to where you lay. He leans over kissing you softly on the lips you lean in deepening it. When he pulls away you notice traces of cum left on his lips and he licks it away before winking at you and stepping back.

It takes a few more drags of his dick across you velvet walls for you both to cry out in one last orgasm. You could feel tears fall from your eyes and Jeongin’s quick to wipe them away. He then sits back on his knees with a sigh his now flaccid dick slipping out. He then topples over beside you followed by almost all of them who then coddle and whispering praises at you. 

Seungmin whose reaching for the door laughs.

“I’ll go grab a wash rag”

“And you know.. if you ever wanna do this again I, at least, wouldn't mind.” Jisung quips with a wink as he trails behind Seungmin with snacks in mind. You’re about ready to pass out but manage to laugh and shake your head over the hyper every day every situation demeanor Jisung carried.

[dianaburnwood]

HITMAN 3: First Impressions

This post is full of SPOILERS. Also, it is LONG, so.... yeah. Be prepared lol 

HITMAN 3. Also known as: Diana’s Game. 

Dear GOD I am in love. 

I’m going to do my best to make this coherent. But. I am still freaking out. And I have SO much more to explore!!!! This won’t be very in-depth because I played each map exactly once so far. There’s so much left to see, conversations to overhear, opportunities to exploit - but, I DO have some first impressions, oh hell yes. 

Menu: 

That menu music!!! I was not expecting that at all. It was a mix of choral and classical with previous themes intertwined, and it reminded me of Blood Money. Speaking of Blood Money, this game is Blood Money. 

Dubai: 

Very, very beautiful. Kinda thought Grey made it all about himself lol of course he wanted to say “in your face” to the partners, but it was like 47 was just there to pull the trigger, like he’d not been hurt by them too. But, I really liked it. Trapping them in a room and watching them freak while Grey watched me kill them?? Helloo??? Popping off HARD from the start and I love it.

So - here’s the thing. I don’t get the timing. Diana tells them then that Edwards escaped. Did he escape just before the boys got to Dubai? Or were they unavailable to reach until then? It seems that the message Grey got at the end of HAVEN was after Olivia hacked the HAVEN servers, and then the boys were out of reach so after Diana discovered Edwards was gone, she couldn’t tell them until Dubai? And it was shown to us in a different order to leave us hanging? I dunno. Maybe? It seems weird. 

THE CUTSCENE here omg - once again establishing that 47 and Diana are ride or die. “Diana will make it right, she always does” - BABE. BABE. SWEET BOY. His little face when Grey doesn’t trust Diana. OMGGG.

Dartmoor: 

I went the murder mystery route, of course. I figured it was Emma from her conversation with her husband, but I got all the clues after just to be sure. Can’t believe Carlisle just handed 47 the file on Edwards and then went out alone on the balcony like I wasn’t gonna kill her??? Bitch????? do you forget who i am?????? Anyway, the murder mystery was SO much fun, but I can’t wait to infiltrate this manor in other ways. Lots of Beldingford vibes here.

THE CUTSCENE bdsfgafhlsjfah WAHT????? Ok so HOW did Edwards know where they were? And - ok, so it made for an amazing scene, but Grey is a badass. He is a mercenary genius that duped the ICA and brought Providence to its knees. How did he get himself surrounded in the woods by CICADA? But he did, and it was beautiful, and he literally only shot himself to save 47, and the LOOK in 47′s eyes on his balaclava face - I just bfjKSFasad. I can’t believe he died so early tho. I was very sure he’d die somehow, but SO early. WOW. 

Berlin:

fucking hell. Berlin. fuck. fucckkkk. 

I wanna shout out to Mini (not gonna tag you in case you’re avoiding spoilers) but hot damn girl if you’re reading you were BANG ON about 47 wearing Grey’s coat. I really didn’t think it was his. It was. It is such a beautiful way for 47 to express his emotions about this death without actually saying anything. Omg. It was perfection. I’m crying thinking about it.

BERLIN was where this game really upped its... game. Like WOW. 5 targets, and it’s the ICA. Clearly Edwards went to the ICA board at this stage and was like uhhhh so you need to take these ppl out. HOWEVER I am amazed that the ICA is like “oh, ok”. DO you not remember what happened in SOUTH DAKOTA. 

But going after the ICA is a fucking trip and I love it. I love how 47 says each agent’s name to himself. I love how he listens in and the team handler realises it. I love how she pulls the rest of her team out once you get 5. I love that the ICA agents use disguises too!!! This is truly APEX PREDATOR and I love that they named it that. Y’all think you have the balls to go up against 47??? bitch?????

But the fact that you have to find the targets and none of them are marked is so fantastic. I found 6, but I have no idea how many are actually available - but I’m gonna find out!!! The club is HUGE as well, and lots of throwbacks to Contracts, especially with the biker gang. Amazing. Amazing level. I’m so excited to replay it. 

Also they really addressed the elephant in the room with the ICA agents describing 47 as a caucasian male, bald, average height and ppl being like uh that’s every man here, and then he said yeah but he’s got this big tattoo lmao 

Chongqing

ok this is where I started to think this game was my fanfiction. Inside the ICA? Showing off how truly international it is, and high tech. Hidden in plain sight. Ready to dismantle in 12 hours if needed. SO perfect. This lore builds on Absolution and Blood Money ICA lore in wonderful ways. 

Also, I don’t know why the IOI and DK of the logo looked different in the trailer, they must have been just hard to make out. Cos in the game, the ICA logo is the same as all previous games. 

Also, analysts do client vetting? Intrigue. Always assumed that was part of the handlers’ job. I take it all back Diana, you have never done anything wrong in your life, ever 

I killed Royce by firing the ppl she recommended so she’d get trapped in the data core cleaning. I killed Hush (what a name I love it) as his patient. 

Working with Olivia is really fun. I missed Diana, but Olivia brought a whole fresh perspective. I also really like how neither Grey nor Olivia are as good as Diana - they both fucked up while guiding 47 at least once. 

47 saying “...I will leave you to prepare” to Olivia, I yelled fdagsfa

Also I love how 47 decided to expose the ICA exactly like Diana did in Absolution. Those two. One of a kind. My heart. And his desire to protect her. I love that the files showed their start together. Olivia saying “I can see why you...” and then she stopped herself. We all KNOW what she was gonna say. 

AND AND AND AND 

the cutscene - I screamed

“47 has one weakness. Me.” 

I swear to fucking GOD, IO has seen into my soul. I’ve said all along that Diana is 47′s weakness, and he is hers. But to hear it said, aloud, by my girl? WHAT???!!!!!

Mendoza

Ok. OK. OKKKKKK. OK. I can’t even write about this one. This was where I was pretty sure I was hallucinating the entire level. This is my Diana and 47 dreams come true. This is insane. This is EVERYTHING.

So we have OUR MOMENT IN THE SUN. She puts her HAND on HIS HAND and he looks in fucking wonderment at it. ahugarhiewEG;FEJGHEFlejlhsgfes;gjrsgt. I can’t. I can barely get through writing about this. 

Diana - the dress, the Jolie thigh slit, the jewellery, the hair (they finally fixed her fucking hair), SASS. “I have tango fever” omg. 

How do these ppl not have a pic of 47 by now lol 

I followed Diana and Vidal around cos I was entranced by my girl. Diana was fucking amazing each time. So much sass. Little did I know I interrupted them enough times for Vidal to say “ok son let’s talk”. I saw the tango and I was like omg imagine if I could dance with Diana. 

well.

WELL. 

Anyway, got to kill Vidal via her own setup for me, and that was amazing. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I snuck into the house to kill Yates, and overheard him calling Edwards’ voicemail. Also, it is April 2021?? So, yeah. My previous dates were way wrong lol. 

And then, ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. Diana and 47 fucking dancing the tango? I was pissed that I was in a security guard outfit, next time I play he will be in his tuxedo baby. 

Diana’s comments to 47 when he’s in disguise tho, I was freaking. As security “you look like a true professional. I feel so much safer with you gentlemen around” aaahhhh

UH HE FELL TO THE GROUND COS OF POISON fngjfagfljgnsdfa

I am so glad I was right about my baby girl tho. She even told him “you didn’t have a choice” about her parents. Good. I’m so glad I was right about that. But omg it broke my heart to have 47 so, SO, SOOO sure of Diana all along, defending her to Grey and Olivia, knowing, KNOWING that she was on his side, and then, he eventually started to doubt it. 

I was screaming at my screen - this is BLOOD MONEY! SHe is doing what she did in BLOOD MONEY!!!!

But, for a second, 47 wasn’t sure anymore. And Diana played her part well. 

Carpathian Mountains

Ok, what I love most about Contracts was how it gave us an insight into 47′s psyche, and this game upped that tenfold. Him seeing all his targets surround him? Him imagining Diana and the Constant dancing together? Him imagining her say terrible things about him, things he’s thought about himself deep down, always, omg, but he finally snapped out of it. Ironic that thinking about Grey snapped him out of it, when in life Grey had not trusted Diana. But 47 came to the realisation on his own. Diana would never betray him. 

opening that door and finding out you’re on a fucking train?????? I screamed. 

I am a bit disappointed that it turned out Romania wasn’t significant, they just happened to be passing through. But omg the fact that you are “subject 47″ again. I freaked. This is 47′s worst nightmare. 

I love that you have a free pass to kill everyone in this level. I did it in stealth anyway, cos it felt wonderfully tense to sneak through that train. But wow. This is another BIG risk that IO took. The train was straight out of Uncharted, and crafting a silencer for your pistol??? Hello The Last of Us????? But I don’t care. They used those elements super well. 

I think some people will be angry at this game because parts of it (especially the last level) were a departure from how HITMAN and HITMAN 2 worked. But I love it. I love that they took risks to tell the story they wanted to tell, and those risks paid off. 

47′s undying loyalty to Diana, omg. Telling Edwards bye bitch, I’ll never forget who I am again, and Diana thinks you suck. <3<3<3<3<3

ENDING

OH MY GOD. ONE YEAR LATER????? 47 obviously took some time off cos he fucking needed a break. But he’s back, baby. Ending on “it’s good to be back” was wonderful. The game ended where the 2015 trailer for HITMAN started, and I’m crying. He’s ready to continue with Diana, and not because it’s what he was made to do, not because he doesn’t know what else to do, but finally, because he CHOOSES to do that. 

But one year later? What does that mean? Has Diana rebuilt the ICA like in Blood Money, or will she and 47 work together without anyone else? They’ll need the infrastructure that an organisation like the ICA has though. Diana said she would dismantle Providence from the top down once Edwards was gone, but how? Does that mean dismantling what’s left of the ICA? They were one and the same by the end of the game. All that didn’t just disappear. I’m left with so many questions. 

I was disappointed Diana wasn’t in the cabin when 47 got there. And I wonder why she wasn’t. She knew he was coming, but they are clearly still on good terms. Maybe she wasn’t sure what to expect. But does that mean they hadn’t spoken in a year since??? But she didn’t sound surprised to hear him, and he had coordinates that he was following, so I think they arranged to meet. But her phone was in there when he arrived, and she wasn’t. Maybe he was tracking her phone? Did she come back there to him after????? 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT 

the game 

ended

with 47

smiling 

And for that I will be forever grateful. 

Ok bye, I need to play it again. RIP work tomorrow lol 

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (4)

Hi everyone! Sorry this came late! I was soooo busy this week that I had to push this chapter back but I’m hoping to drop chapter 5 on Friday next week like normal. As listed in the warnings, this chapter has some heavier topics than the other 3 but the scene is relatively mild and not too descriptive. 

Story Masterlist

Word Count: 2808

Warnings: Mentions of verbal s*exual harassment, mentions of fighting/injury, strong language, angst 

% approximately the last weekend in September %

You sat at the back of the team bus on the way to the hotel, since the tournament was all day Saturday. You shared a row with Julia and was working on some calculus homework and listening to music while she talked to someone across the aisle.

When you finished, you took out your headphones and looked over at her. She was now playing on her phone.

“Hey, do you wanna bunk together tonight? I don’t feel like sharing a bed with Emily this week.” you whispered, making sure the freshman sitting a few rows up couldn’t hear you.

“Yeah sure. I was actually gonna ask you the same anyways.”

You were one of only two seniors on the team, so you and the other senior, Anna, were asked to split up and chaperone the girls whose parents weren’t coming to the tournament. Both of your rooms had three other people.

Once the team got checked into the hotel, you all went to dinner at a nearby chain restaurant where you, Julia, Anna, and a few other girls sat at a table together joking around.

After dinner, the team headed back to the hotel and were allowed to either hang in the lobby or your rooms, so long as you weren’t disruptive and stayed in pairs. You stayed in the lobby for a while but decided to go prepare for bed around 10.

Julia tagged along as your buddy, not saying much as you rode the elevator up. 

After changing and brushing your teeth, you sat at one corner of the bed looking into a wall-mounted mirror as you combed your hair to pull it into a braid. Julia had been watching the TV when she piped up.

“Hey, y/n?” 

“Yeah?” you didn’t look back at her.

“What’s going on between you and Tom?”

You paused mid-braid, then continued. 

“What do you mean?” your brows furrowed as you finished off the braid, wrapping the end with a hair tie.

“It’s just… you guys have seemed super close lately, and Sam said you’re at their house pretty much every weekend now. I thought you guys hated each other or something.”

You turned your body to look at her.

“Uhhhh we definitely still hate each other. We’re just partnered up for this semester-long marriage project in home ec. It’s whatever.”

“Oh. Okay then. It just seemed like something else I guess.”

Something else?

“Wait, what are you trying to say? Do you think we’re, like, dating or something?”

“Well you guys go to almost every one of each other’s games. And Sam said their mom loves you so it just seemed like… I don’t know.”

“Whoever thinks we more than hate each other is wrong. Just the idea of him and I together grosses me out so much. Once this semester is over, he and I probably won’t speak to each other again until the day I’m chosen valedictorian over him.”

“Okay, well, I’ll let Sam kn-” 

She was cut off by the sound of the door opening as the two freshman girls who were taking the other bed came in giggling.

Glad to finally be out of that conversation. 

After a few more random conversations, you all decided to go to bed and rest up for the tournament early the next morning.

It’s when you rolled over onto your side to face the wall that thoughts of your conversation with Julia began racing. Did people really think something other than a fake marriage was going on with Tom?

Exhaustion got the best of you before you could dwell on it further.

%

You sat in calculus Monday morning listening to the announcements. Your name and a couple others were listed off from the winning sports. The team had won, and you’d gotten tournament MVP.

The class congratulated you, so you jokingly did a royal wave around the room, stopping to look at Tom.

“That’s how it’s done. You guys may have won too, but I think I beat you out this time.”

“Yeah, good job.”

What. Why was he congratulating you?

“Uhhh. You don’t have anything else to say? No insult, no witty clapback? Who are you and what have you done to the Tom Holland I know and hate?”

He shrugged.

“I just don’t have anything negative to say. I mean, you got MVP and the team won. That’s pretty impressive.”

Now you knew something was up. In all your years of knowing Tom, he’d never been this nice. Sure, he’d sometimes say “nice shot!” when you scored more than one goal in soccer but he usually was able to find a way to pick on you at the same time.

You were working on a new sewing project in home ec later, sharing what happened with Alexis.

“Maybe he’s just not feeling well or something? He probably just couldn’t think up something fast enough,” she suggested.

“You don’t get it, Lex. It was so not like him. After Thursday, and what Julia said Friday night, something weird is going on, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” 

Wondering if anything was out of the ordinary with him now, you looked over to where he was, only to find him looking back at you.

Weird.

In senior art that afternoon, you worked on an acrylic beach landscape you’d been doing with a palette knife. 

You were listening to music and intently focused when you felt a presence loom over you and noticed a hand resting on either side of you.

You ripped out an earbud and turned to see Tom leaning over your seated position, looking at your artwork.

“What the- Tom! What in the hell are you doing?” you pushed him off you and he stepped next to your chair, arms folded over his chest.

“Just looking to see how you were doing, princess. I think it needs a sailboat.”

“Okay first of all I’m not even done but like… why were you leaning over me like that? I was kinda in my zone there.”

He uncrossed his arms and pointed one had around the canvas.

“Well I was mostly coming over to say you had a little something right,” he poked a finger from his other hand onto your nose, leaving a dot of paint, “there.”

“Thomas Holland. If you don’t get the hell away from me and my artwork right this second I will literally beat you up in front of this entire class. You know it’s true too.” you threatened through grinding teeth.

“Are we having a problem over here?” your art teacher interjected, causing you to both look at her. You pointed at your nose.

“Mr. Holland here doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself.”

“Tom. You know how I feel about messing around with art supplies. Now go sit down, you still have a lot to go on your own painting.”

He sighed and headed back to his seat. 

“Y/n, why don’t you go wash that off real quick. I’ll keep an eye on your canvas for you.”

You got up, brushing past Tom. First, he’d been super nice this morning, and now he was putting paint on your nose like a little kid? 

It was infuriating to think about.

Wednesday, it was like he was even worse.

He flipped between being the nicest guy ever to trying to humiliate you every chance he got. 

The final straw was during your free period when you’d typically have volleyball practice (it was a game day). You’d walked by some of the football team who were practicing on the field and some players tried to catcall you, yelling disgusting sexist comments and whistling. Instead of sticking up for you, Tom just looked at you sheepishly as they laughed.

You just stuck up a middle finger and kept walking, as you were running errands for your volleyball coach and didn’t want to be too long.

After school, you stormed out of the school building and caught sight of him leaning against his car talking to a few of the guys from before as his brothers stood around nearby.

When you were about 20 feet away when you yelled out at him.

“Hey Tom! What the hell?”

His conversation paused and he turned to you. The other guys laughed and waved him bye as you approached.

“I’m sorry, but what?” he asked when you reached his car. You tossed your volleyball bag onto the asphalt.

“What is wrong with you? First you’re super nice to me, then I catch you staring at me in class and then the whole paint thing, and that was just Monday. Then today you flip from nice to asshole, and just sit idly by when your friends fucking harass me!?”

“I was just messing around like we always do! And come on, it was just a whistle and a couple jokes, y/n.”

“That’s the thing! It’s not just a whistle or a joke! Call it that when you read the countless stories of women who are attacked for simply ignoring a guy or trying to stand up for herself! I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BEG YOU AND EVERY OTHER MAN FOR SOME SIMPLE RESPECT!” you were yelling and breathing hard. “I guess I thought that after the past few weeks we had come to some kind of an understanding, but apparently I was wrong. You’re still the biggest asshole I know.”

“Y/n, please. You know I would never do anything to actually harm you, right? I’ll talk to the guys and figure it out. I mean, what else do you want me to do?”

“Maybe we should get a ‘divorce’ on this stupid project. It’s obviously not working out,” you spat.

“I- okay.”

You were taken aback. Did he really just agree?

“Okay? That’s all you have to say? You really want to go through with it?”

“Well, if it’s what you feel is best, I’m not going to stop you from talking to Mrs. Flynn.”

“Okay, then. I’ll see what she wants us to do.” you said, much more calmly.

With that, you picked up your bag and walked off, wanting to cool down before your game.

“Damn, Tom. That’s rough,” Harry said once you were out of earshot.

“Yeah, dude. You should’ve stood up for her. That’s not cool,” Sam added.

Tom hung his head for a minute, not sure what to think, then straightened up, shaking it angrily. 

“You’re right. She’s right. I need to find those guys.”

%

Things had cooled down for you by the time you’d eaten a snack and hung out with some of the team for a little bit. You didn’t tell anyone what had happened, but by the way Julia kept looking at you, you figured Sam had told her.

An hour before game time, you went to go put on your kneepads and volleyball shoes. As you passed through the gym, Julia hopped up from her seat next to her boyfriend and rushed up to you.

“Whatever Sam said, I’m over it now. I’m just going to channel it into the game” you told her before she could get a word out.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Sam said you seemed pretty shaken up.”

“Look, jules, I know you’re trying to help, but now isn’t the time. I just need to focus on one thing at a time, okay? Let’s just win this and then maybe later we can talk.”

You sped up past her to where the group was in a circle, already doing stretches. You felt bad for blowing her off, but you had other things to worry about.

%

Your team lost the first set for the first time all season. You just couldn’t get your head in the game. You had fumbled a few sets and sent your hand into the net while hitting not once, but twice. You’d even sent a serve straight back to the wall on the other side of the gym.

You were now sitting on the bench listening to your coach yell at you, taking it all in. You were looking at her directly when a figure coming through the door caught your eye. It was Tom.

You tried to pay attention to coach, but the second she turned her attention to someone else, you glanced at him sitting by his brother. 

His lip was split and he caressed one hand in the other. His hair was also all over the place and one cheek swelled slightly.

Did he get into a fight?

Even though you were still mad, something inside you appreciated his presence. You also felt concerned, but obviously couldn’t do anything about it from the bench.

You instead decided to do what you knew best, which was win. The team came back in the end and did just that. A few people were congratulating you when you saw Tom and Sam leave the gym.

“Uh, sorry guys but I need to go do something. See y’all tomorrow though!” 

You jogged into the hall, frantically looking both ways before seeing them.

“Wait! Tom!” you called, running to catch up with them. They stopped, Tom not making eye contact with you when he turned as Sam watched cautiously.

He looked worse up close. 

Where his cheek had only seemed swollen before, now there was a blue and purple bruise beginning to form, surrounded by pink inflamed tissue. His bottom lip also was red and puffy around the split, and when you glanced at his hands you noticed the darker bruises on each knuckle.

“Tom…” you said softly, scanning him. “Are you okay?”

“What does it matter to you? We hate each other don’t we?”

Sam took that as his cue to go back to the gym, you assumed to find Julia.

You let out a sigh and looked away. 

“I don’t ‘hate you’ hate you. Yeah I hate when you’re better than me at something or you’re acting like a douchebag, but I don’t, like, want you dead or anything. I mean, you know that, right?”

You searched his face for a sign that he was getting you. After a few seconds of him staring at the ground nervously tapping his foot, he replied.

“Well I don’t hate you either! Yeah, you can have an ego and it gets on my nerves, but I’ve always thought we had just a playful hate-love thing. Like… I don’t know... Doofensmirtz and Perry the Platypus.”

You let out a chuckle at that one. 

“That… actually. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. I never actually wanted to hurt you, and I’m sorry that I did but what you did today was so not cool, man. I thought we at least tried to look out for each other a little bit. That stuff hurts. A lot. Because being a woman means I don’t know when it might cost me more than just being the butt of a joke.”

“I realize that now, and I’m so sorry for trying to trivialize you. I didn’t really think about it in the moment because it’s never affected me. I might be in trouble tomorrow because of it, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“After you left, I was so mad at myself. I marched straight over to the guys, who were then trying to laugh about you coming to talk to me, and I just… swung right on Harrison. He’s the first guy that whistled.”

“Tom…”

“And then I may have gone after the other two while I was at it. They tried to fight back, which is why my face looks like this, and I just went nuts. They gave up after realizing I wasn’t gonna back down.”

You tried to hold back tears. You always knew in the back of your mind that Tom cared a little bit, but not like this. One slipped out onto your cheek.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you whispered, trying to keep a steady voice. He reached out and brushed his thumb over your tear.

“Yes I did. Who else was going to teach those dickheads, huh? Obviously no one else in their lives have cared to.”

“Well thank you. It means a lot… and I didn’t go talk to Mrs. Flynn after our little spat outside. I wouldn’t mind staying as your ‘bride,’ if you’ll have me.”

He looked at you skeptically for a few seconds then smiled.

“Yeah, alright,” he pulled his necklace from his shirt. “Who else would rub icy hot on my back and make pie with my mom?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of the first one,” you laughed.

After a few seconds, you held out your arms.

“We good?” 

He grinned, taking your offer for a hug and wrapping his own arms around you.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

%

A/N: Thanks for reading! Like I’ve mentioned in the past, this will not be the last of heavy topics and some future scenes will actually be more descriptive, but I will make it explicitly clear where those scene are so you can have discretion. Love you all so much!

Tag List: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson

[faangirl101]

Burning Heart:  Pt 1

Burning heart masterlist

Pairing: Zuko x reader, Zuko x y/n

Tags: Enemies to lovers, slow burn

Summary: Raised mostly by yourself, you made a living for your youth years as a maid in one of the richest families in Ba sing se, Beifongs. There Toph, a blind young rich girl, taught you earth bending and also became your new family. Not that you would admit that to her. Together you escape Ba sing se on the back of a flying bison with the Avatar, in a mission to take back the world from the fire nation. But on the journey you didn't plan to team up with the Fire prince himself, and you definitely did not plan to get butterflies around him. But you couldn't possibly catch feelings for a fire bender right? They ruined your life and took everything of value from you. But you couldn't lie to your burning heart. 

Warnings: swearing

The Western Air temple

The sun's streaks felt like fire licking our exposed arms. The heat evaporating  from the cracked surface under our feet  was almost as hot as the burning shame in returning empty handed on foot from the eclipse battle. “This is humiliating”, Katara mumbled with her head low. Her voice sparked a familiar annoyance within but I kept my mouth shut. Sokka looked up at her from under the wolf helmet “You mean getting thoroughly spanked by the Fire Nation or having to walk all the way to the Western Air Temple?”. Katara looked him up and down before shame forced her head down again “Both”.  Aang let his hand slide through Appas fur, as if to reassure him that it was not his fault. His forever love for Appa didn't fail to turn my frown. Aang mirrored my weak smile “Sorry guys, but appa gets tired carrying all these people”. “Or maybe it's just Toph who’s heavy”, Not even one of my snarky playful remarks seemed to get the group in a good mood. But I did get a half smirk for Toph that was good enough. “I wonder how the rest of the troops are”, Teo pushed his wheelchair with sweaty hands as he looked up to Haru. I had never met Teo before the battle, but Aang had mentioned him before. He was hella smart and outshined an entire army. But it was clearly not enough to beat the fire nation. I let my eyes wander to Haru instead. I remember the stories of him and his father in prison. A deep weighting feeling decided to settle in my stomach. My father would have never risked everything for me like Haru did for his dad. I guess I was never a family person. I pushed the hurtful thoughts away the best I could by focusing on Haru. “They’re probably on their way to a prison. Seems like my dad just got out and now he’s going back in”. The group fell quiet, and I wanted to feel empathy for Haru. I wanted to understand how much it would hurt to lose a parent after just getting one. I wanted to hug him. Instead i just put a supportive hand on his back “He got out once, we will figure it out”. I didn't know if my words made a difference but I dropped my hand anyways. “I miss Pipsqueak”, The duke, a small boy muttered. Sokka ignored his tiny friend's words “I miss not having blisters on my feet”. I leaned down to Toph's level “Question, when you get blisters, does it feel like if i got something in my eye?”. Toph grunted in response which I decided to take as a yes. Suddenly Toph made a halt stop which almost made the rest of the group fall over. She stamped down, similar to a rabbit, before her face cracked up in a smile. “Hey, We’re here! I can feel it!”, she raised both her hands forward showing us….. nothing. Ahead of us was the same ground  that we had walked on for hours on end. The only difference was a precipies splitting the ground open like a wound. “uhhhh….I think your feet need their eyes checked”, Katara stopped beside Toph with a wrinkled nose. “No! She’s right. We are here!”, Aang’s voice didn't sound in defeat as before. Sokka took one look behind his shoulder as if he missed the “giant temple” Aang had described before shrugging his shoulders. “Wooow”, Toph placed her hands next to her feet, truly taking in her surroundings “It's fantastic!”.

 The western Air temple was breathtaking. How we got down was a mystery, but well down. I had no words. It was everything Aang had described. Stone walls reached over our heads,  clinging for its life on the cliffs surrounding us. Ivy painted the entire place green. With tired feet and a heavy head I slumped down on the bench around the fountain. The comforting noise of water pooling swallowed my pouding head in ease. “It's so different from the Northern Air Temple. I wonder if there are any secret rooms”, Teos eyes were glistening like a childs. Haru had clearly stopped worrying about his dad as he took a leap forward with a smile “Let’s go check it out!”. Teo and The Duke are quick on his feet as they sprint off to explore. Aang is about to catch up with them, excitement clear in his flaring arms, before he’s cut off my Kataras grip. “You guys go. I think we need to talk about some things”, she urges the boys to continue their exploring without Aang and they don't need much convincing. “I'll race you, Duke”, Teo is already taking off. The Duke whines as the kid he is “i told you, It's The Duke!”. The three disappear behind the temple but their voice echoes for another couple of seconds. Aang's looks after the boys with desperation in his grey eyes “Why can’t I go?”. I get up on shaky legs and make my way over to them. “We need to decide what we’re gonna do now, and since you’re the Avatar, maybe you should be a part of this”, Katara sits down on a fallen stone block. “Fair enough. So, what’s the new plan?”Anyone could easily detect the evidence of annoyance in Aang's voice as he slumps down on another stone block. But Katara was right, no matter how much I hated to admit it. Sokka placed a hand under his chin, mimicking an old philosopher  “Well, if you ask me, the new plan is the old plan! You just need to master all four elements and confront the Fire Lord before the comet comes.” They way Sokka phrased it was as if it was not that hard. As if it was just a cup of tea, which clearly struck a nerve with Aang.“Oh , yeah. That’s great. No problem. I'll just do that”, Aang threw his words in irony. He started playing with a rock beside him with furrowed eyebrows. He had never looked more like a child. “Aang, no one said it’s going to be easy”, Katara’s voice clinged in empathy. It irritates me how she always complains about being the mom of the group as if she didn't take on that role by herself. But I know a mother's empathy is exactly what Aang needed right now. I easily earth bended a rock under me to lift me up on the high cliff Toph was sitting. The familiar vibrations of earth moving under me filled me with calm. I threw my legs over the edge and slumped down next to Toph's much smaller frame. “Well I am hot but I can't fire bend. Where are we supposed to get a firebending teacher?”, Sokka couldn't help but smile at his own joke. I let out my low hanging bun, ignoring how my baby hairs are slicked down my face by sweat. “You hot? You're hot when Bisons can fly”, I shot him a flirty smile which resulted in Sokka snorting playfully. Katara ignored our remarks “We could look for Jeong Jeong!”. Aang didn't hesitate to shoot her idea down “Yeah...right”. He slumps down his body over the rock without care “like we’ll ever run into Jeong Jeong again”. Me and Toph look curiously at each other “Who’s… oh”. Toph, annoyed by how the group didn't tell us anything crossed her arms “never mind. If it's important I’ll find out”.

The further the sun moved down the horisont, the more Aang started to avoid talking about a plan. He flung forward Appa on his staff, gliding smoothly over the winds. Both me and Toph clung onto the Appa, not liking being this far above the ground. Sokka was always the comic relief but even him had taken on a mom role “Aang, i think we should be making some plans about our future!”. Aang bluntly ignored his words as he landed next to the fountain, the glider still in his hand. Aang watched us land Appa next to him “Okay, we can do that while i show you the giant Pai Sho table! Oh you’re gonna love the all-day echo chamber!”. He was about to sprint away from us again, away from his responsibilities when Toph trot after words. Her demeanor turned serious, which it rarely does “i think that’ll have to wait”.  Toph shrugs as she points behind herself. Everybody quizzically tries to see what she’s talking about as Appa’s huge frame moves to the side revealing a shadow. As the late day light falls upon him there is multiply gasps within the group. In front of us is a teenager, probably around my age, a head taller or so. What captures me first is his face. His scar to be exact. A scar the size of a palm extends from  his ear and over his eye. It leaves a nasty patch of skin the color of a bonfire. It looks as if he has tried to hide the scar with strands of hair but the hair has a life of its own. It's long, uncombed and falls down his face only to reveal a couple of intense eyes. The color was the same as pooling honey dripping down a warm cup of tea. He was insanely attractive, making my heart skip a beat or two. But he was also screaming to be remembered in the back of my mind. His identity on the tip of my tongue. His honey eyes turn to me for a second but that's enough to spark a part of my memory. Brown eyes mean fire nation. Which makes my eyes quickly take in the obvious fire nation clothing hanging over his long slender body. The previous shock within the group quickly turns into anger. The boy hesitantly raises his hand and gives us a wave, which would be adorable from anybody except a fire bender “Hello”. He tries on a careful weak smile “Zuko here”. That's all it takes for me to take on a fighting position. My hand raised above my waist, fingers vibrating ready to bend the earth to swallow him up. Zuko, The fire prince himself. The gang had told me and Toph stories of his repeated attempts to kill them. His awful actions and how he took katara's necklace. Well, maybe the necklace part doesn't make me that angry. Toph copied my defense, but her motions seemed hesitant.  Zuko opens his mouth to reveal a smoother voice then i expected “Hey, i heard you guys flying around down there. So, i just thought i’d wait for you here”. Appa growled and whatever i thought the bison was going to do, it was definitely not that. He reached out his dark tongue just to lick the boy. The boy let out a eak as he protected his face from the saliva. I didn't exactly recall the first time I met Appa that clearly, but I'm pretty sure he never did that. In the corner of my eye I see Aang's conflicted eyes as he lowers his staff slightly. He trusted Appa with his life, so I understood his internalized battle. But I was unaffected, hand raised protectly. Appa’s tongue slicked up the prince's face again, Messing up his hair even further. Zuko didn't protest this time, he just wiped off the excess mucus. With one last wipe he looked up at us again “I know you must be surprised to see me here”. Sokka looked at him in rage with furrowed eyebrows “Not really, since you’ve followed us all over the world”. Zuko seemed embarrassed as he looked down his feet “Right. Well,uh….anyway…. What i wanted to tell you about is that i’ve changed, and i, uhhh, i’m good now, and well i think i should join your group, oh, and i can teach firebending to you”. I didn't know what to say. The shock seemed to resemble the rest of the group. Zuko seemed to catch on as he opened his mouth again “see i, uhhhh”.Toph didn't give him a second to explain himself further “you what now?”. I had never seen katara as angry as now “You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you? I mean, how stupid do you think we are?!”. Sokka continued her rant “Yeah, all you’ve ever done is hunt us down and try to capture Aang!”. All they were saying was true, but there was a sudden doubt consuming me. It rang warning bells in the back of my head for sure, but there was something I couldn't put my finger on. This couldn't possibly be the evil boy they had described? They told me he had an almost shaved head, just a ponytail. That he hated Aang with no shame. That he would do anything to destroy the gang. The boy in front of me was nothing like that. He was shy, hesitant. Ashamed. He was ashamed over everything he had done. But he couldn't just turn good like that, that's not how it works. This must be another fire nation trick, or so I had  to convince myself. Zuko seemed hurt, in desperate need to defend himself. “I've done some good things! I mean, I could have stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free. That’s something!”. His words seemed true since appa licked him again (much to his surprise). I remembered how hurt Aang was when he lost Appa, is it really possible that zuko saved him? No it couldn't be, he was from the fire nation. Toph had already dropped her defense “Appa seems to like him”. The water tribe siblings turned to her in anger. “I can understand why you  wouldn’t trust me, and i know i've made some mistakes in the past”. The rest of the sparr is a blur to me. I could see lips moving but I couldn't hear a thing. My eyes were stuck on Zuko as I blocked the rest of the world out. I tried to find any mistakes in his clearly made up character but he was spot free. either he was an amazing actor, or everything he said was true. Aang did need a firebender, but the thought of a member of the fire nation, the royal one at that, made my blood boil. What broke my focus was Zuko falling down on his knees. He made himself vulnerable, head bent downwards and hands raised in surrender. “If you won’t accept me as a friend, then maybe you’ll take me as a prisoner”. The words shocked me to the core. If he was really out to kill us he would never have let down his guard like that. Katara seemed to see right through his game “No, we won’t!”. Her little flask dangling by her leg burst open as she water bended a flood against him. It wasn't hard enough to make him go flying off the cliff but it was hard enough to break his position. He fell over, protecting his face. “Get out of here, and don’t come back! And if we ever see you again, well, we’d better not see you again”. Defeated, wet from tip to toe, he moved away from us. As my friends around me started to yell to each other, about how much Zuko was lying. How they would never accept him into the gang. I followed his figure with my eyes. The slumped forward body, the dragging of the feet. I wonder which powerful fire nation person he was going to tell he failed his mission to get into our gang. Because of course it had to be a mission. He could never change… Right?

The next morning seemed slow. My head was pounding from a sleep fof worrying. It didn't help that Toph had disappeared. I knew that Toph could defend herself better than anybody, but I also knew she wouldn't go anywhere without telling me. Katara handed a bowl of breakfast to The duke “Has anyone seen Toph?”. I was surprised that she had even noticed Toph was gone. They weren't exactly close. Sokka yawned and cracked his back from the morning sleep “I haven't seen her since she stormed off yesterday”. Against my will I started to worry. Since yesterday? Had she been out the entire night? I had been grumbling so much over Zuko I hadn't even noticed. I swallowed down the lump of guilt together with a spoon of rice. Katara actually seemed worried for real “I think we should go look for her”, Sokka slumped down next to his sister “Let her have her fun with rocks, i'm in no rush to have her yelling at us again”. I ignored the anger busting up with another spoon of rice. The silence was quickly replaced by the occurrence of a large rumble. Toph comes flying down onto the ground by a pile of rocks that she created from a wall. I rushed over to her, my breakfast thrown in pieces on the ground. “Toph, what the fuck happened?”. Toph slingered across the ground “My feet got burned!”. Katara rushed forward to inspect them “Oh no, how?”. Toph annoyance from Katara's question quickly turned into shame “Well, I kind of went to see zuko last night”. It looked like Aang had been kicked in the gut “You what?”. Without another thought my legs carried me away from the scene. Their voices became a questionable noise as I took off. I only had one thing playing in my mind: Find Zuko and kill him.

[annecoulmanross]

In which the author does a philoTerrological Analysis, feat. color-coded Charts™️ [link to pdf version]

a fill for @theterrorbingo square “scientific observation” because God knows I spent more time on this than I have on certain things that I’ve called a Terror bingo square in times past and! It’s good! To sometimes! Push the boundaries of fanwork! (This is a meta, I’m just gonna call this a meta. Good? Good.) 

The data contained in these charts comes, in part, from this lovely post by @handfuloftime and this brilliant addition by @catilinas – I was inspired to make this because of a lovely message from @glorioustidalwavedefendor (thank you!) 

So, what on earth are these charts, and what do they say about AMC’s The Terror (2018)? Find out, below the cut! 

BASICALLY this chart is my way of visualizing every time the words “Name” / “Names” / “Named” (&c.) or “Call” / “Calls” / “Called” (&c.) are used in The Terror. There are two charts – on the left, the “Name” chart, on the right, the “Call” chart, both organized the same way: the rows correspond to episodes (episodes are only skipped when no variation of the relevant words appear), and the columns correspond to four “categories” referring to the object being “named” or “called.” These categories are:

Named Individuals (i.e. named in the show AND with their name known to – or immediately learned by – the character speaking.)

Unnamed Individuals (i.e. unnamed in the show – like Goodsir’s “Inuk man,” aka the historical Eenoolooapik – or unnamed with respect to the character(s) speaking, such as David Young is to Goodsir and Crozier in episode 10 – because they’ve forgotten – or as Silna is to Lt. Little in episode 3.)

Non-Human Things / Beings (i.e. ANYTHING non-human, from summer to God.)

Undefined and/or Groups (i.e. things that are less clearly separated out than the other instances of “named,” and “called,” which largely have a single person or thing as their object; this is a loose category and there are “groups” that sometimes slip out into the “individuals” columns.)

As I noted here, the issue of “who gets a name” breaks down into these numbers – pulled from the first chart, columns 1, [2] and (3) – ignoring column 4:

(3) [David Young]

(2) (God)

(2) James Fitzjames

(2) [Eenoolooapik]

(1) Edward [Little]

(1) The Barrows / (the Admiralty)

(1) Lt. John Irving

(1) William Wentzall

(1) (summer)

(1) Sir James Ross

I think it’s interesting that, if you remove unnamed individuals [David Young and Eenoolooapik] and non-human entities (God), Fitzjames is the only person about whom “name” is used more than once. BUT it’s Fitzjames using that word, “name,” and he does so twice in quick succession to reach that total – “My name… Even my name was made up, for my baptism.” Which makes “Myname Evenmyname” into a sort of proxy for “James Fitzjames” itself – equally artificial, like Odysseus’s moniker OuTis = NoMan. (And now, as per tate’s tags, “odysseus son of laertes snipes me with a bow and arrow” but at least I can die knowing that I, at least, have managed to mention the cretan lie.)

The other important thing to note about these charts is that they’re color-coded by who is speaking, so each character who uses “name” and/or “call” more than once gets a unique color (blue for Crozier, teal for Goodsir, purple for Fitzjames, yellow for Hickey, &c.) In the “names” chart on the left, what this shows us is that Crozier & Goodsir do most of the “naming” at the beginning and end of the show, and Fitzjames does most of it in the middle. (Crozier & Goodsir also never “name” already “named” individuals, whereas Fitzjames almost exclusively does so, and in the one instance where he “names” an undefined group, it’s because he’s lamenting that said undefined group is composed of “men” who “need names yet.” As tate said, “fitzjames is both named And called things because as much as his identity is “””deceptive”””, it doesn’t have another secret double-self, it only hides parts of itself.” Fitzjames lives in a world where things are neat and orderly and can be defined; he never once truly strays from this – though I think few of us think of him as fervently religious, the text does reinforce that Fitzjames sees the world as following a divine order: from “More than God loves them,” to “What in God’s name is happening here?” and back again to “More than God loves them,” before ending with that heartbreaking last, “God wants you to live.”)

OKAY time for the second chart aka the chart on the left aka the “calling” chart. 

This is based HEAVILY on this incredible post by @catilinas (though I did put back in the “all 12 times it is used to mean shout or summon” because I think some of those are…. shrimpteresting.)

The issue of “who gets called (both named OR summoned)” breaks down into these numbers – pulled from the second chart, starting with just people, i.e. columns 1 and [2], for now:

(4) Aglooka (or, well, the same two times twice, because the scene’s repeated)

(4) Crozier (Francis vs. Captain)

(3) Goodsir (Harry vs. Doctor)

(1) Hartnell

(1) Crozier’s head (“Sir John will have your head.” Dare I say…. caput Crozieris = caput Ciceronis? Sir Pompey will have your head... if he doesn’t lose his own, first.)

(1) [Silna’s tribe]

(1) [the old lad on the Prince Regent the doxies used to call ‘Six Pounder’]

(1) Fitzjames

(1) [another shaman]

(1) “A man called Cornelius Hickey”

As tate said, “i do think there is Something going on w the fact that ‘call’ is only used multiple times this close together for a) aglooka and b) this scene [don’t ever call me francis again], and Both are wrt crozier, and both involve him Not being / not wanting to be Called by his actual name.” There IS something going on, and I propose that the missing piece is that, just like w/ “names,” Crozier & Goodsir are tied together – Goodsir is to “Harry vs. Doctor” as Crozier is to “Francis vs. Captain,” but flipped: Goodsir wants the intimacy of a first name, while Francis (initially) rejects it; but they are both stripped of their titles regardless – by the end, Goodsir insists that, “If ever I was a Doctor, I am one no longer,” and Magnus Manson says to Crozier, “Mr. Hickey says I'm not to call you ‘Captain’ any more.”

AND next we tally tate’s 8 singular “Things” (aka column 3)

(1) watch duty

(1) David Young’s liver (“you wouldn’t call this cirrhotic”)

(1) Irving’s ‘discretion’ (“call it anything but help, mr hickey”)

(1) Inuktitut

(1) Nunavut

(1) “this thing [Crozier] calls truth”

(1) Victoria, Texas

(1) The Northwest Passage (“his own chilly shortcut to china, he calls it”)

To which we can also add “Things” that are “called” as in “summoned,” rather than “called” as in “named.”

(2) the Tuunbaq (“Haven't we been calling it right to us all day?” / “So call it with me now, boys.”)

(1) the cannon (“[Mr. Blanky]’s calling for the cannon [for to shoot the Tuunbaq]”) 

While I don’t have any additional thoughts on this collection of objects in and of themselves, I think we do need all of them to get the full picture of the chart esp. re: the color-coding of the speaking characters. Basically, when we look at who is using “call” repeatedly, it’s a 4-(or 5-)part narrative arc:

[Rae] (aka the translator, whom I’ve “named” John Rae for simplicity) & James Clark Ross (at the very beginning)

Goodsir, LOTS of Goodsir (color = teal, episodes 1-5)

Crozier, LOTS of Crozier (color = blue, episodes 5-8)

Hickey, running the gamut from “this thing [Crozier] calls truth” to summoning the Tuunbaq (color = yellow, episodes 8-10)

(The 5th part comes in when you take into account the repeated Rae & Ross scene in episode 10.)

So uhhhh that’s a classical ring composition folks: 

[Aglooka] 

“Goodsir, the Good Sir,” 

[Crozier] 

“E.C. who Is Not ‘a man called Cornelius Hickey’” 

[Aglooka]

The narrative backbone of this entire miniseries is the idea of what you are “called,” (Crozier) and the details are fleshed out by how you are “named” [or, perhaps, unnamed.]

[singingcookie]

I'm gonna go over personal wellness progress here. Mostly because I know no one reads my text posts anyway and I'd feel weird commandeering a discord channel to be like "hey look at my progress with this thing I never mentioned publicly because there's something embarrassing about admitting that I haven't been happy and have been hiding it from you"

Also, I feel like it'll mostly result in bot hugs and 🥺🥺🥺 faces which I don't really want either. What I want is to speak in the void and have a record of progress for myself to look back on whenever I'm forgetful or feel myself sliding. I think I'm gonna give it the tag "wellness progress" so feel free to mute or blacklist that tag if you wish.

On to it though.

So since I started therapy, I've been trying to notice patterns in what makes my anxieties worse and what makes them better.

In terms of what makes them worse it is, one hundred percent, being in my own head and refusing to communicate concerns with people. It can even be something small like "oh gosh, did I phrase this in a bad way?" but I internalize it and it almost like. Causes the concern to compound on itself until I'm basically shutting down on a conversation because I've convinced myself that I'm annoying them and they don't want to talk to me but are too nice to say so.

It's really hard to admit those feelings when they come. Because they can feel selfish but luckily my therapists technique for dealing with thinking traps has helped quite a bit with that one.

Another thing that makes my anxiety act up really bad (at least right now) is being asked what I want to do, like job wise. This is something I have to address eventually and I can't just perpetually put this conversation off. But as it stands right now I've been having a bit of a crisis over how my work affects my worth as a person. Cause you know when you hear things like "you can't work there your whole life" over and over and you can't get hired anywhere else due to ✨lack of experience and a degree✨ it only makes your self-worth go to shit. Go figure!

This one's kind of harder for me to work through so I don't exactly have a solution other than trying to internalize the idea that my self worth doesn't come from my job. Which is going to take time and effort to convince myself of but I'm willing to put in that time.

NOW THOUGH, THINGS THAT HELP. Things I've noticed about days where my anxiety is low and how to extend those times.

First, the one that did not surprise me in the least was talking to folks every once in a while. Go figure that communicating with people that make me happy uhhhh [looks at notes] makes me happy?????? Who would have guessed. I can't let myself get too distracted by talking though because otherwise I'll neglect other things I said I would do but don't. Usually I get around this by telling at least one person what I plan to do because then, inevitably, they'll ask "how did [insert thing here] go?" and then I either have to admit I pushed it off or tell them how it went if I made the time for it.

Semi-relatedly, having plans and tasks helps me a lot. Days where I have lots of things I want or need to do is actually really good at preventing major bouts of anxiety. My main issue with relying on this though is....it's been really easy for me to forget about what it is I have to do. Sometimes it's not forgetting outright but things like "Oh I'll do the laundry" and subsequently forget to switch the load to the dryer. Or forget to take it out of the dryer. It also doesn't help that my work schedule is inconsistent so it's hard to make plans and tasks for myself.

Solution to that though. I bought a planner! It goes through 16 months and it has messages of self care and cute animal art for every week. I'm normally really bad about using planners. I tend to fall out of habit with them really easily. But I'm hoping to incorporate it this time through sheer force of will! Right now I have it filled out through the 9th of next month with my work schedule and therapy meetings. Which isn't a lot but it's something at least. I figure this might also help me out more with easing into long-term planning which might help with the whole job anxiety thing. Maybe. That's just a theory though

Last thing also semi related to the planner, I'm trying to establish daily routine. I can't do morning or night routines, really, because my work schedule is so varied. But I figure! That if I give myself tasks and say "I have to try to do these things at some point every day" that's flexible while also giving myself a goal. For now what I have on my daily routine itinerary is...

Stretch (being on bar all day at work is really starting to hurt my back)

Take vitamins

Eat three meals a day (two if I can't swing that)

Play Pokemon Go (actual walks are preferable but hitting up a pokestop and catching one pokemon is okay)

Reach my 50 exp goal on duolingo lessons (or as close as I can get on a bad day)

Talk to at least one friend

Write, edit or outline at least a little

It's not a whole lot. But it's something and this last week since I started adhering to it, I've been feeling a bit better! I still have my bad days, but I can tell there's progress. And I guess that's all I can hope for.

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

“You can’t put alcohol in the hot chocolate.” 

There’s cursing and mentions of alcohol in this one.

“You can’t put alcohol in the hot chocolate.”

She heard that from behind her as she tipped a bit more Peppermint Schnapps into her light blue Yeti mug. “Says who?”

“You just can’t . . . . it’s not right. Hot chocolate is the drink that you curl up on the couch with and sip it while watching Hallmark movies.” Race argued, giving her a look.

Raising an eyebrow, Kat took a sip of the rich, hot chocolate filled with the spiciness of the peppermint. “Since when have you watched Hallmark movies and why haven’t I been invited?”

“Spot makes me watch them besides it’s semantics, Kat.” Race shook his head. “Besides, you’re diverting from the topic at hand. No alcohol in hot chocolate.”

“Mmm hmmm.” She hummed, sipping the drink in her hand. “Whatever you say, isn’t going to stop me from drinking one of my favorite adult beverages, Race. So take your ‘no alcohol in hot chocolate’ rhetoric away from me.”

Race shook his head, tipping back his beer bottle. “Just say no, Kat. What did you even tip in there?”

“Peppermint Schnapps.” She grinned, watching Jack and Spot join them. “Hi boys. Where have you two been?”

Jack wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. “Romeo wanted to show off the garden he and Specs put in, so Spot and I tagged along. What’s going on here?”

“Did you know that Kat puts alcohol in her hot chocolate?” Race asked, cuddling into Spot’s embrace.

Jack shook his head. “Yeah, she’s done it for years. It started in college. She especially loves Peppermint Schnapps in the hot chocolate.”

“Ooooh that sounds really good.” Spot piped up, looking over at Kat. “Is it like a liquid candy cane in the hot chocolate?”

Kat giggled. “Yup! So good. There’s some in the kitchen and they have a Keurig that I just made hot chocolate with.”

“Might have to get me some. Good call, Kat.” Spot grinned, tightening his embrace around Race’s shoulders.

“WHO ARE YOU???” Race bellowed, looking between his fiancé and brother. “I cannot believe you support her alcohol in hot chocolate actions. What kind of sane people put alcohol into hot chocolate?”

Spot and Jack scoffed, giving Rave a look. “Clearly the smartest ones in the room. You’re in the wrong here, Racer. Have you actually ever had it?”

“Why would I poison my hot chocolate with alcohol?” Race sipped his beer, giving his three favorite people a look of disbelief.

Holding out her insulation cup, Kat offered it to Race. “Just take a sip. IF you don’t like it, then we’ll never speak of it again. But if you do like it, then you owe me a Hallmark movie and spiked hot chocolate.”

“And no pulling a poker face if you don’t like it.” Spot gave him a look as he accepted the mug from Kat’s hand.

They all waited with bated breath as he took a sip. “Hey! That’s pretty damn good.”

“Welcome to the party, Higgins.” Jack shook his head, grinning at his brother. “Now would you like Kat to make you a cup?”

He nodded as she turned and brewed a cup of hot chocolate. He continued to sip at her mug. “You take that one and I’ll make myself a new cup.”

“So you drank this in college?” Race asked, grinning at her.

Leaning against the countertop, she grinned. “How do you think I made it through my 8am classes, walking across campus at the crack ass of down? I would brew a cup of hot chocolate and tip a little bit of this in my insulated cup before heading off to classes.”

“Two things. First, I’m upset you never shared your secret with me in college and second, why did it take me this long to try this?” Race sipped the drink, giving his sister-in-law a look.

She laughed. “Because you’re an idiot and only listen to about a third of what I try telling you on a daily basis. Of course this went over your head. Now what have we learned today?”

“You’re usually right about alcoholic drinks.” Race gave her a cheesy grin, watching her pour the alcohol into her hot chocolate. “And I’ll start listening to you a bit more.”

Reaching over and giving him a hug, she grinned. “Love you Race.”

“Love you too Kat.”

“So next weekend Hallmark movie marathon and peppermint schnapps hot chocolate?” Kat asked, grinning excitedly.

Race laughed, nodding. “My house or yours?”

“Mine.” Kat clapped her hands, looking between Jack and Spot. “You boys are welcome to join us.”

Spot looked at Jack and shook his head. “Nope that’ll be a hard pass for me.”

“But Race said that you make him watch those movies.” Kat grinned, sipping her drink.

Spot’s eyes went wide, looking at his fiancé. “He said what?”

“I may have said that you make me watch them.” Race mumbled, suddenly very enamored with Kat’s mug.

Spot glared at Race before looking at Kat. “There are a thousand things I’d rather do than watch one of those Hallmark movies. Now if they stopped making them so damn predictable, I might watch them more. But Racer cuddles with me while he watches them.”

“I’m coming to your house.” Jack gave his brother-in-law a look. “Watch football or something.”

Kat’s eyes went wide at her husband. “You love the Hallmark movies.”

“Uhhhh ….” Jack looked at his wife. “Not really. I agree with Spot. If they stopped making them predictable, then maybe I’d watch them but I can correctly name everything that will happen in that movie. I’ll even make you a bingo card with shit that’s gonna happen in one of those movies.”

The Following Weekend

“How the hell did your husband figure out all these things would happen?” Race looked over at Kat as he marked a square on his bingo card.

Kat giggled. “I may have made him watch one too many movies. Damn he’s good.”

They watched a few more minutes of the movie before they both crossed a box off. “BINGO!”

Kat glared at Race before taking a sip of her boozy hot chocolate. “I hate you.”

“Well we’ve got six more bingo cards to go and a fifth of peppermint schnapps. Drink up Kat.” Race said, blowing a kiss her direction.

She did just that as he did the same as the next movie started. When Jack and Spot came by the house four hours later, both were significantly drunk quoting random movie quotes. Jack may have gotten video of it and Spot and Race ended up spending the night at Jack and Kat’s due to the boozy hot chocolate.

[almost-jack]

It’s official. I’m a filthy, Jack-simping fuck monster. Chapter 15 is out and it is a smut bucket.

I just posted the smuttiest chapter that I’ve ever written for public consumption. It doesn’t even really require context (other than basic Borderlands 2 knowledge) to read because it is pure FILTH. I’m pretty proud.

Please enjoy and either leave me a comment here or on AO3 (guest comments and kudos welcome) or wash your eyeballs, depending on how you feel about it.

This chapter on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921886/chapters/69799560

Or read below:

Chapter 15 : More Than He Bargained For          

Summary: Axton willingly puts himself in Jack’s way and gets fucked. Hard. Oof.

Notes:

Forgive me lord, for I have sinned, but so help me god, I'll fucking do it again. And again. And again...

Thinkin' about changing the fic's title to "The Lion's Den". What do you guys think?

*Warning: Uhhhh....Axton might take a bit of a beating with some mild non-con mixed in there. He likes some it, though. *shrug*

The tower was just a short walk from the bar and the pair was entering the massive living room of the VIP suite within minutes. Rei retrieved a bottle of Jack’s fancy champagne and poured three glasses, setting one down on an end table to wait for Jack, then she sat down on an ornate couch with gold upholstery and patted the seat next to her. Axton joined her, staring around at the lavish, ostentatious suite.

“Wow, this place is uh…”

“Excessive? Yeah, I know. Jack’s aesthetic is something along the lines of, “You can’t afford this,” and, “Is there enough black leather in here?”” she said, laughing.

“Well, you can never have enough black leather, darlin’,” said Axton, reaching out and stroking her cheek.

He leaned in and caught her lips with his own, kissing her firmly, yet gently. Without breaking the kiss, he threw a knee up onto the couch and began crawling forward, crowding her back against the armrest until he was straddling her. Rei ran her hands up his chest, feeling something cold and metallic hanging from his neck. She pulled away to look at the rectangular tags in her hand. Dog tags, and for some reason, a wedding ring. Rei knew better than to ask why.

“A soldier, eh? Your battalion isn’t going to be happy about you fraternizing with Handsome Jack and friends, you know.”

“Don’t have a battalion anymore, I was discharged a while back. I’m a mercenary now, honey. A vault hunter, in fact.”

“You’re a…what?” she said, taken aback.

“He’s a vault hunter. Well, he was a vault hunter. For me,” growled a voice from across the room.

Jack was leaning in the doorway of the suite, arms crossed, brows furrowed in a thunderous scowl. He strode over behind the couch, gripping the edge of the headrest with white knuckles, looming over the pair. Then he sighed, screwing his eyes shut and rubbing his temple.

“Kitten…why? Why do you do this shit to me? It’s like you’re trying to get us both killed.”

“Jack…I don’t understand…”

“I hired this joker as a vault hunter and then tried to kill him. Did you forget that part, Axie? The part where I wanted you dead?”

“Nope, I remember. Crazy bus explosion. Lotta fun,” said Axton, sitting up. Rei slid out from under him and began backing away from the couch, feeling the weight of the grave error she had made.

“So why the hell are you here? Do you need to get fucked by Handsome Jack so badly that you’re willing to risk your life for it? I can’t blame you, but…pretty stupid move, kiddo,” snarled Jack.

“What if that’s exactly why I’m here? Is that so hard to believe?” asked Axton, pouting up at him playfully.

Jack grabbed the burly man by the hair and bent his head back at a painful angle. Axton grimaced but remained still. Jack leaned down so his face was mere inches away, staring at the man in his grasp with fire in his eyes. Rei had seen that expression before, and, although she knew this was about to take an unfortunate turn for Axton, she couldn’t help but feel excited for what was to come. When Jack was at his worst, he always fucked her the best.

Rei sauntered over to the armrest next to Jack and sat, looking quizzically down at Axton.

“I don’t think we believe him, do we, J?” she drawled lazily.

“No, I don’t believe we do. So why don’t you tell us why you’re really here, cupcake?” hissed Jack through clenched teeth.

“Fine, fine, I might have been paid to keep an eye on you two. Uh, do you mind?” he grunted, trying to jerk his head out of Jack’s grip. Jack released him, drawing his pistol and pointing it at Axton’s head instead.

“Well that’s not much better…” mumbled the soldier.

“Who are you working for? I want answers, now,” snarled Jack.

“No can do, big guy. I gave you as much of an answer as you’re gonna get. The rest is classified.”

“Maybe you should fuck it out of him, J.” said Rei, examining her shimmery, black nails disinterestedly.

“Kitten, you always have the best ideas!” crowed Jack, his scowl morphing into a wolfish grin. He tossed her his gun. “Watch him for a minute.” He turned and left the room.

“That was pretty dirty trick, soldier boy,” she said in a low, ominous voice, cocking the gun and aiming between Axton’s eyes.

“I wasn’t trying to trick anyone, just saw an opportunity for some fun on the job and I took it,” he said, shrugging out of his jacket and throwing it over the back of the couch.

“Jack is almost certainly going to kill you once he’s done. Why would you risk that?”

“Ah, darlin’, you underestimate me. I wasn’t a commando for all those years because I’m bad surviving dangerous situations. Jack doesn’t scare me. Also… I wanted to spend a little time with Jack’s girl. See what makes you tick. See if you’re a threat. See…what you have on under that dress,” he said with an impish grin, eyes twinkling up at her.

“Well, you might just get some of what you wanted…and a whole lot you didn’t,” she said, smiling sweetly back.

“Ok kiddos, time for some fun!” announced Jack gleefully, returning to the couch and slipping his gun back into its holster. He held a jumble of straps and chains. Jack separated the tangled items in his hands and flipped a black leather gag over to Rei. “You get his mouth, I’ll get his wrists,” he said, giving Axton a hard shove to the back, forcing him face down on the couch.

Jack yanked Axton’s arms behind him, clinking a pair of thick metal handcuffs around his wrists so quickly that the soldier barely had time to react. Rei snickered at them as she undid the buckle on the gag.

“Yeah, I don’t know about the gag, darli-nghhh!” protested Axton as she stuffed the leather strap in his mouth and fastened it around his head.

“You wanted to see what I have on under my dress, right? Be a good boy and I’ll show you.”

“Oh he said that, did he? Cheeky little bastard,” chuckled Jack, unbuckling his belt. “Kitten, why don’t you come over here and get this party started, hmm? You’re in for a real treat, Axie. Getting to watch my kitten blow me is a real privilege.”

Jack pulled Axton upright by the back of his shirt and plopped down next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders. He hooked a finger under the chain of the soldier’s dog tags and toyed with it gently, giving him a devilish grin. Rei knelt between Jack’s legs a shoved his pants down, mouthing at the exposed skin of his upper thighs.

“Hmm, I think I have another good idea,” she said softly, pulling a small baggie of purple powder out of her bra.

“Oh you just keep that Eridium concentrate stashed on you at all times, eh, kitten?”

“This stuff is close to my heart. Literally,” she giggled.

She poured a trail of powder down Jack’s thigh and snorted it in one fluid motion. She then tapped a line onto the back of her hand, holding it out to Jack, who sniffed it up appreciatively. He threw back his head and sighed happily, then turned to Axton, positively beaming, and clapped him on the back.

“Holy hell, kiddo. Looks like I’m gonna be fucking you all night long,” he purred in Axton’s ear, pulling himself out of his pants and giving his near instant erection a few assisting strokes.

Rei licked the tip of his cock and Jack’s hand dropped to his side, letting her take over. She sank down on his member, almost to the hilt, making him groan loudly at the hot silkiness of her mouth and her tongue ring gliding over his shaft. She lazily dragged her tongue back up to his cockhead and sucked gently, stroking his slit with the tip of her tongue. Then she picked up her pace and began bobbing her head while pumping his length with a firm grip, getting faster and sloppier with every passing minute. Jack let out another low moan and dug his fingers into Axton’s shoulder with the hand that was still dangling carelessly over it.

“Oh, fuck, kitten. Take it easy, our friend is still waiting for a turn on my dick.”

“I think it’s only fair that I get first dibs, I found him after all. And since I won, shouldn’t I be calling the shots?” she said, sitting back on her heels and wiping her mouth.

Jack raised his eyebrows at her. “Oh yeah, doll? Hey, if that’s what you want…” He shrugged. “That ok with you, buddy?” he said, hooking his arm around Axton’s neck and pulling his head into his chest.

“Mmmph,” came his unintelligible reply. The look on his face was something akin to curiosity with a hint of apprehension, probably at the prospect of being subjected to whatever insane things these two cartoonish villains could think up.

Jack laughed derisively. “Like it even matters what you want at this point, kiddo.”

“Bedroom. Let’s go,” said Rei, snapping her fingers at the two of them.

“You heard that hot little piece of ass, up you get,” said Jack, dragging Axton to his feet and pushing him down the hall.

They followed Rei into the bedroom, Jack hauling Axton onto the bed with him while she waited at the foot, arms crossed. Jack threw an arm over Axton’s shoulders once again, watching her intently. Once she had their full attention, Rei slowly, almost teasingly, unzipped her dress. She let it slide off her body and pool at her feet, revealing black, lacey lingerie with yellow stitching. She bent to remove her silver pumps, but Jack cleared his throat insistently. She stopped and put her hands on her hips, cocking them to one side.

“What?” she said sharply.

“Do me a favor kitten…uhh, boss-kitten…. Leave ‘em on? Please? For daddy?” he pleaded, sticking out his lower lip.

Rei rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a crooked smile. “Fine,” she said climbing up onto the bed and crawling towards them, catlike. She knelt between Axton’s legs and reached behind his head to unfasten the gag.

“The hell are you doing that for? I don’t wanna hear this guy complain all night,” whined Jack.

“He’ll be too busy putting that mouth to work to complain, don’t you worry. Isn’t that right, soldier boy?” she purred, grabbing Axton’s chin and stroking his lower lip with her thumb.

“Mmhmm, whatever you want, darlin’, as long as I get to touch you,” he murmured, his eyes raking over her body hungrily.

Rei smacked his cheek lightly, but firmly. “You don’t get to make demands. The cuffs stay on. Trade places with me.”

Axton awkwardly shifted onto his knees and shuffled out of Rei’s way as she took his spot next to Jack.

“Sit right there, lover boy,” she snapped her fingers at him and pointed between her legs.

He quickly obeyed, keeping his head low to avoid letting the pair see his pleased grin. Rei hooked a leg over his shoulder, pressing into his back with the sharp stiletto of her shoe.

“Down.”

He bent slowly and began kissing a trail up her thigh, nipping at her thong when he reached her pubic bone. He looked up at her and raised an eyebrow questioningly. She gave him a nod and he pulled the garment down with his teeth, tenuously inching it down her legs.

“Lemme help you with that, kiddo,” said Jack lazily, shrugging out of his jacket. He fished around in his pants pocket and produced a switchblade, flipped it open, and hooked it under the waistband of Rei’s panties. Before she could protest, Jack had severed both sides with a flick of his wrist.

“Jack! I liked those!” she hissed in irritation.

“So I’ll buy you another pair,” he murmured, pocketing the knife and kissing his way up her neck before enveloping her mouth. Their lips moved against each other languidly, tongues intertwining, hands tangled in each other’s hair.

Suddenly Rei broke away, moaning wantonly with her eyes screwed shut as she felt Axton’s mouth descend upon the heat between her legs. He lapped at her folds eagerly, dragging his tongue up to swirl around her clit, then back down to dip into her now dripping entrance, kissing and sucking every part of her along the way. After short while, Rei felt the weight of the bed abruptly shift, then heard the creak of a drawer opening. The weight shifted back and Axton cried out, jerking his head up. Rei whined at the loss of contact and sat up on her elbows to see what was the matter.

“Hey, man, are you serious?! You can’t put that on me!” complained Axton, trying to shake off Jack’s grip around his neck.

In the hand that wasn’t clenched around the back of Axton’s neck, Jack held a black leather collar (a plainer version of the one he had given Rei) connected to a chain-link leash. Rei laughed. Jack definitely had an aesthetic, and that was black leather absolutely everywhere. She sat up and folded her legs under her, reaching down to grab Axton’s face and still him.

“Cooperate, or the gag goes back on,” said Rei silkily.

She clenched his jaw in her palm while simultaneously stroking his cheek with her thumb, as though making both a threat and a titillating promise. He huffed in annoyance but slumped down, dropping his head into her lap and allowing Jack to collar him.

“Good boy,” she praised, stroking his hair.

“Thanks, kitten. So can I have a go at him now, or what? Don’t leave me hanging, here,” said Jack impatiently, gesturing towards his ever present, Eridium enhanced erection, still bobbing out of his open fly.

“Aww, you feeling neglected, J? Sure, have at him,” she cooed, crawling over to where Jack knelt behind Axton and sitting up on her knees to nuzzle and nip at his neck.

Jack wound the leash around his hand, curling it into a fist, and when it was short enough, gave it an experimental yank. Axton jerked backward and sputtered, almost losing his balance and toppling back into Jack’s lap. Jack smirked maliciously, the fire still glinting in his eyes.

“Ok, pumpkin. Let’s see what you’re made of,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.

“I, uh… I mean, it’s not my first time at the rodeo, but uh... Don’t go too hard on me, ok?” said Axton, nervously eyeing Jack’s impressively sized cock.

“We’ll see.”

“That means there’s no fuckin’ chance” Rei whispered in Axton’s ear, undoing his belt and pulling down his fly.

She giggled and smacked his ass, urging him up onto his knees while she pulled his pants and boxer briefs down, before unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it down to his elbows. Jack was busily pulling off Axton’s shoes and kicking off his own, then yanking off his vest and shirt without undoing all the buttons. He reached over to the already open drawer beside the bed and pulled out a bottle of lube, slicking up his throbbing erection, and hungrily descending on Axton, forcing his chest down into the bed with a thud. He pressed a hand to his back and held him there while he adjusted Axton’s hips and slid his pants the rest of the way off. Jack began to teasingly press his achingly hard cock between Axton’s cheeks.

“Aw, hey, come on Jack, at least give him a few fingers first,” said Rei sympathetically, although a wicked grin remained fixed across her face.

“Kitten, I don’t think I can wait much longer. I can’t tell if I want to kill something or fuck something, but if one of those two things doesn’t happen soon, I’m definitely going with kill,” Jack said in a strained tone.

“Oh, fuck, come on man…” mumbled Axton into the sheets. He raised his head to glance over his shoulder at Jack, a pleading look in his eyes. “If I survive this night, don’t you want me to at least tell people you’re a good lay? You know they’re gonna ask what Handsome Jack is like in bed …”

Jack shot him one of his signature “if looks could kill” faces and made an exasperated growl deep in his throat in response.

It was clearly taking every ounce of willpower he had to restrain himself from plunging balls deep into the command splayed out before him, but he begrudgingly lubed up a few fingers and got to work. Axton groaned as Jack pumped one large finger into his tight hole, and after a few pumps, another, far too soon for comfort. Jack worked him open quickly, drawing mostly grunts of pain from Axton as he carelessly fucked his fingers into the cuffed man.

“Think you can fucking take me now, cupcake? Or am I still too big for you?” hissed Jack, still pumping his fingers in and out.

“Shut up and do it already, douchebag,” retorted Axton. Jack abruptly yanked his fingers out, making him shudder in pain.

“You reaaally need to remember your manners, or I’m not going to be able to help you, Ax,” Rei said, her voice soft and sickly sweet. She was hovering next to Jack, her arm draped over one of his broad shoulders, her head resting on top of it.

“Oh, sweetheart, nothing can help him now,” growled Jack, lining his cock up with Axton’s quivering hole.

“Maybe he just needs a good dicking. Go on, J, fuck the shit out of him,” urged Rei, her tone absolutely poisonous.

Jack sank into Axton far too quickly, making the commando yelp and writhe underneath him as Jack pressed the weight of his powerful chest into his back. He fell still as Jack gave him a moment to adjust, his breath coming in heavy pants.

“Thaaaaat’s it, deep breaths. Relax, pumpkin, this is nothing. Things haven’t even begun to get bad for you, yet,” crooned Jack as he started to move his hips.

Jack groaned in relief as he slowly thrust his throbbing cock into Axton, the friction easing his frustration. Axton, on the other hand, was struggling not to whimper as the older man began pounding into him, his rhythm going from gentle and controlled to full on jack-hammering in less than a minute.

“So tell me, Axie, did you really think I’d fuck you nicely? That I’d suddenly change my mind about wanting most of you annoying fuckin’ vault hunters dead? You willingly entered the lions’ den, expecting not to get torn to pieces. What the fuck is wrong with you, kiddo?” Jack laughed and punctuated his sentence with a particularly hard thrust, eliciting a satisfying yelp from the man beneath him.

“Guess I’m just a glutton for punishment,” grunted Axton, a hint of amusement in his voice. It seemed as though he was beginning to enjoy himself, and Jack, while pleased that the commando was getting off on being manhandled and tormented by him, wasn’t about to let him enjoy it without consequence.

“Hey, kitten, why don’t you show our friend that little stunt you pulled on Pandora? The one that nearly broke my face?” said Jack, roughly yanking the leash towards himself, forcing Axton to sit up and lean back into his chest. Jack hooked a few fingers under the collar and slowed his thrusts to keep him anchored in place.

Rei, who had been running her nails down Jack’s back and murmuring words of encouragement in his ear, giggled. She reached into Jack’s thigh holster, still bunched around his thighs with his pants, slid out his gun, and turned it on Axton.

“Woah, woah, hold up, at least make it a fair fight if you’re going to try and kill me,” he rasped against the pressure of Jack’s pull on the collar.

“Don’t worry, hun, safety’s on. Doesn’t make it much safer for you, though,” she said with an amused grin, drawing back her arm. She swung the gun down on him, even harder than she had on Jack, decking him across the face, and causing the commando to cry out in pain and surprise. Both Rei and Jack cackled as Axton spat blood onto the bed.

“That all you got, babe?” he said dazedly, giving her a bloodstained grin.

Jack gave the collar a sharp tug.

“We can go harder if you want, kiddo. Just keep running that mouth of yours, see what happens,” he growled. He shoved Axton back down on the mattress and returned to his punishing pace, pumping in and out of him. Axton let out a low moan, his cuffed hands balling into fists behind his back.

Rei watched Jack begin to pant, the muscles in his back tensing. She moved to his side and leaned over Axton to pull Jack into a heated kiss, burying her hands in his hair and digging her nails roughly into his scalp, drawing a soft moan out of the man. All he needed was a little more pain to push him over the edge. She let her lips glide from his mouth, to his jaw, and then down his chest. Rei dragged her tongue over the firm muscles, stopping to lave over his nipple. Suddenly she bit down hard on the tender bud, sending shudders through his body.

“Ah, fuck, kitten, you’re gonna make me cum…” he groaned desperately. “You hear that, Axie? I’m gonna fill your tight little hole and make a huge mess for ya. Let’s see how well you march after being fucked senseless and filled with cum, soldier boy,” he hissed in Axton’s ear.

“Hey, hey, not in-“

Axton tried to protest, but it was too late. Jack was already hunched over his back, one hand buried in Rei’s hair as she continued sinking her teeth into his pectoral, the other between Axton’s shoulders, crushing him into the mattress with all his weight. Jack threw back his head, eyes screwed shut, and gave a final, brutal thrust, sinking his cock all the way to the hilt and letting go. He groaned loudly as he spilled into the man beneath him, his cock twitching and spurting for what felt like ages, pain and pleasure rippling through his body. Finally, he sank forward to lean on his hands, torso still hunched over Axton’s back, head hung low in exhaustion.

“God…damn…that was good. Really fucking good,” he panted, slowly pulling himself out of the commando. A thick stream of cum trickled out of Axton’s abused hole and dribbled down his thighs.

“Fuck you. What the hell,” grumbled Axton, displeased at the wet, tacky feeling of Jack’s cum dripping between his legs.

“HAH! Nope, pretty sure you’re the one who just got fucked here, princess,” said Jack, descending into peels of laughter. “I’ll tell you what, since you got me off so good, I’m gonna let you fuck kitten and get her off that good, too. If she wants. You want that, kitten?”

“About damn time,” she purred, stroking the hair on his chest.

“Well if I’m going to be doing any actual fucking, these cuffs gotta go…”

“Hmm…I do kind of want to see what you’re capable of… Should we trust him, J?”

“Hell, why not. Kid’s earned it. But just to be safe…” Jack pulled his pants back up to his hips, tucking himself away, but leaving the fly open. He removed his gun from its holster and clicked off the safety. “No funny business, ok, kiddo? One wrong move and I’ll blow brains out. And- trust me- it won’t even ruin the mood.”

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, then went about unlocking the cuffs. Rei slid up the bed to rest her back against the headboard, waiting in eager anticipation.

“Can I go get cleaned up, at least?” asked Axton, sitting up and rubbing his wrists.

“Here,” said Rei, leaning forward and pulling his shirt, still bunched around his elbows, the rest of the way off. She tossed it at him with a derisive laugh.

Axton grumbled but took the shirt and wiped down his legs and ass. He then turned to Rei and slid close enough to nudge her legs apart with his knee, a hand planted on either side of her hips. A devious smile began to play across his lips. He glanced over his shoulder at Jack, checking to see where the gun and leash were in proximity to himself. Jack had given him some slack on the leash to move around, but still had the gun pointed threateningly at his head. The older man moved to kneel beside Axton, also dropping down to lean on his hands, and pressing the gun into his back.

“That good dicking I just gave ya made you a little hard, huh, Axie? You fuckin��� love the abuse, don’t you?” he said, dipping his head to mutter huskily in his ear. Jack licked a hot stripe up Axton’s neck, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine.

Rei reached for Axton’s semi stiff cock and began giving it slow, languid strokes, pleased when he let out a low moan as he hardened beneath her fingers. He leaned in and kissed her, more aggressively and sloppier than he had earlier, and pulled her down underneath him so their hips were flush. He began to grind his now erect length against her pubic bone, enjoying the way her breasts pressed against his chest. He ran a hand down her leg, then suddenly threw it over his shoulder, ignoring the sting as her stiletto dug into his skin. The commando reached between them and began to rub her clit in small circles, making her arch her back as she squirmed underneath him in pleasure.

“Fuck me, soldier boy,” moaned Rei, rolling her hips up to meet his.

“Go on kid, give it to her,” growled Jack, watching the pair lustfully.

Axton positioned himself at Rei’s entrance and sank into her slowly while sucking kisses onto her ankle. He drew himself out almost entirely, just his cockhead teasing her lips, then slowly slid back into her warm, wet heat and repeated the motion.

“Come on soldier, I know you want it rougher than that. We just beat the crap out of you, aren’t you gonna give it right back to us? “ Jack hissed in his ear, as if he was the devil on Axton’s shoulder.

Axton ignored him, opting instead to lean down and suck Rei’s nipple. She moaned and dragged her fingers through his short cropped hair.

“Let’s go kid, if you don’t fuck her proper then I will,” snarled Jack, hooking a finger under his collar and giving it a sharp, warning tug. He was already hard again, waiting, wanting, and aching.

Axton wheezed and glared over at him, but slightly picked up his pace. Rei responded with a pleased little mewl, bringing her hips up to meet his in synchronized rhythm. Axton groaned hotly into her ear, surprised at how close to finishing he already was. He loved danger, and apparently his cock loved it, too.

Suddenly Jack was wrenching him back, sending him toppling to the side.

“Sorry, kid. You had your chance and I’m fuckin’ tired of waiting,” Jack said, shoving his pants off the rest of the way.

Jack pounced upon Rei with a feverish hunger, pulling her legs around his waist and roughly thrusting into her, making her gasp.

“Hang on tight, kitten,” he murmured in her ear, before dropping to his elbows and begging to slam his cock into her at a brutal pace. She gripped his back, her nails digging in deep enough to cause tiny pinpricks of blood to form on the surface of his skin.

Rei was moaning desperately at full volume, unable to control the sounds that Jack was wrenching out of her as he pounded away. Jack himself wasn’t much better, groaning huskily in her ear between heavy breaths, lost in a haze of chemically enhanced arousal.

Rei alternated between moans and whines and whispering filthy things in his ear, egging him on. She dragged her teeth down his neck, biting down hard when she reached the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Jack shuddered in pain and pleasure, feeling a familiar heat pooling in his groin.

“Jack, oh fuck, I’m so close,” she whispered breathily in his ear, eliciting a low, sinful groan from the man.

“Scream my name, baby. You know how I like it. Scream my name while you cum for me, kitten,” he growled.

And in moments, Rei was writhing underneath him, her hips bucking up into his, howling his name in a breathy, high pitched whine. Jack sucked in his breath as her pussy clenched around him, milking his cock, dragging him to the edge. He gave a few more uneven, hitching thrusts and came, slamming his cock into her and spilling inside her with a roar. He continued to press himself as deeply as he could, giving little thrusts, while he rode out the throbbing, twitching spurts of his orgasm, nuzzling her neck and groaning in ecstasy.

After several minutes, Jack raised himself up on his hands, shoulders hunched and panting hard.

“Well,” he said, sounding winded, “that’s how ya do it, kiddo.”

He looked over at Axton, who was leaning against the headboard next to them, one arm behind his head and the other being used to leisurely stroke his very hard cock.

“So, uh… You gonna get out of the way or what?” asked Axton gruffly, his eyes dark with lust.

Jack raised his eyebrows skeptically at him, then sat up and gently maneuvered Rei’s legs to the side. He turned to face Axton.

“Come ‘ere, kid,” Jack ordered, curling a finger at the other man.

Axton shuffled forward obediently, thoughts only focused on getting the relief he so desperately needed.

“Yeah, I’m done sharing,” Jack breathed huskily, “but I’ll tell ya what…” He licked his palm and reached down between them to grab Axton’s cock. The commando grunted and bucked his hips at the contact.

“Ooh, are you gonna help him out, J?” giggled Rei, coming up behind Axton and draping herself over his shoulders.

“I sure am, kitten. I’m just a real nice guy, what can I say?” said Jack cheerfully, beginning to stroke Axton’s leaking cock. He reached up and curled the other hand around Axton’s jaw, holding it firmly.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

Axton kept his eyes shut, not wanting to ruin the sensations coursing through his groin by being eye to eye with the man who once tried to kill him.

“I said look at me,” Jack hissed dangerously.

Axton grudgingly opened his eyes and was met with the manic, fiery glare of one blue eye, one green. Jack’s stare chilled him to the core.

“Don’t forget who’s jerking you off right now, kid. When you’re beating it to this later in whatever shitty, filthy part of the galaxy you came from, just remember that it was Handsome Jack making you cum all over your stupid, pathetic self. Remember that I can kill you just as easily as I can get you off because you’re weak, Axton. You could try to stop me, if you wanted to. But you don’t want to. You’re like putty in my hands. Now cum for me, soldier boy,” said Jack in an unnervingly calm and measured tone, as if he wasn’t jerking off a man he’d just tortured for hours.

Axton screwed his eyes shut again, trying to ignore Jack’s order, willing himself not to give in… But it was all too much. The fast, rough friction of Jack’s hand, Rei’s tongue gliding up his neck and over his jaw, her nails scraping across his chest, and Jack’s words, combined with his dominating presence, his face mere inches from Axton’s own, were all too much. Before he could stop himself, Axton was shooting rope after rope of warm, sticky finish all over his own stomach. He jerked and moaned in Jack’s hand, finally slumping forward, his head hanging low, breath coming in pants. Jack wiped his hand on Axton’s shoulder, grinning maliciously, then went to retrieve his pants and slip them on.

“So now that we’re all squared away here, let’s get down to business. What do we do with you, hmm, Axie? Does he live, or does he die? That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” mused Jack, pulling his gun from its holster and spinning it around his finger.

“Maybe he’s ready to tell us who sent him. That might improve his odds, don’t you think?” said Rei sweetly.

“How about it, kid? You ready to talk, or would you rather take your chances?”

“I’m a gambling man. Love that adrenaline rush. So, in other words… you’re not getting shit out of me, old man,” laughed Axton, tauntingly.

Jack stopped spinning his gun, face suddenly contorted with rage.

“Oooh. Ok. Uh-oh. You just-” Rei began.

Jack drew back his fist and slugged Axton squarely in the gut with all his might, knocking the wind of him. The commando bent double, clutching his stomach and gasping for breath.

“-made things worse for yourself.” she said with a sigh.

“Good…arm..." wheezed Axton.

"Yeah. The age thing is kind of a sore spot for Jack."

"Not as sore as he's about to be," muttered Jack under his breath, quietly fuming.

“Ok, ok. Missteps aside, what are we going to do with him?”

“Well, first of all…”

Jack snatched the abandoned handcuffs from the foot of the bed, and, taking advantage of the soldier’s momentary vulnerability after getting punched by what felt like a wrecking ball, wrenched Axton’s arms behind him and slapped the cuffs back on without much of a struggle.

“And now obviously I’m going to beat the ever-loving shit out of him until he gives me useful information, or he dies. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the blah-blah-blah, too late, tough shit, you already chose, pal,” sneered Jack.

A sudden chiming came from Axton’s discarded pants on the floor. Jack cocked an eyebrow and slid off the bed to retrieve them, pulling the commando’s Echo from his pocket.

“Well I’ll be damned…” he breathed.

“Don’t answer tha-“ Axton began.

“Lilith! To what do I owe the pleasure? Have a nice nap?” said Jack cheerfully, picking up the call.

“Oh what the hell, why do you have Axton’s Echo, you prick?” said Lilith’s scowling hologram.

“I don’t know; why don’t you ask him? Axie, baby, say hello.” Jack turned the Echo’s camera towards him, still naked, collared, and cuffed on the bed.

“AXTON! NOT. AGAIN,” yelled Lilith in frustration. She pressed her finger tips between her eyes, squeezing them shut momentarily.

He hung his head sheepishly, avoiding the hologram’s fierce glare.

“Sorry, Lil.”

“You had one job. ONE. Kill them. Not fuck them. KILL THEM. You couldn’t even stop them from drugging me and Roland! Is it too much to ask that you keep it in your pants for just one night? JESUS!”

“I mean, come on Lil, we both knew this would probably wind up just being a scouting mission, unless an opportunity presented itself. And it did!”

“And you still fucked it up,” she hissed.

“Woah, woah, woah, can we go back to the part about this little shit stain trying to kill us? You hired sweet cheeks here to be your assassin?” asked Jack incredulously.

“Yeah, what of it, Jack?” grumbled Lilith.

He was silent a moment, staring at the hologram in surprise. Suddenly he burst out laughing, cackling so hard that he bent double and clutched his sides.

“Nice work, cupcake! You really know how to pick ‘em,” he said, wiping a tear of mirth away from his eye. Then his voice dropped about two octaves, the laughter abruptly disappearing from his face. “I think we’ll keep him,” he said, his voice quiet and deadly.

“What? No! You can’t-“

“Eye for an eye, sweetheart. You try to fuck us, we try to fuck you… And then we all just end up fucking poor Axton. Well, mostly just me, actually.”

“No, Jack, wait, we’re willing to negotiate.”

“You got a vault key, princess?”

“No…”

“Well then you’ve got nothing I want. And I suggest you don’t come anywhere near the VIP floor unless you want to tango with fifty Badass Loader Bots, ten turrets, and my main man, Wilhelm. He’s around here somewhere. Who knows, maybe he’s even on his way down to you already! Cia!”

“Wait! What about-“

Jack hung up the call.

“So much for that truce, huh? What a cunt,” he said, turning to Rei.

She had pulled a pack of cigarettes from the bedside table and had one dangling from her mouth, and was now sitting with her back against the headboard, arms crossed, glowering. She pulled a lighter from the pack and lit her cigarette, inhaling deeply, then exhaled a slow, steady stream of swirling smoke.

“That bitch. I made sure you didn’t kill her, or even harm her, just so she could send an assassin after us? Un-fucking-believable.”

“That’s what people do, kiddo. They’ll smile to your face while stabbing you in the back. Although… this guy wasn’t much of an assassin, now, was he?” he said, ruffling Axton’s hair.

“You two gonna kill me, or what?” grunted Axton.

“Honestly? Haven’t decided yet. Make yourself useful, and who knows, maybe there’s a job for you at the Rhysie Pole. You definitely won’t be a free man ever again, though, that’s for sure. Now, as much as I want to stay and play, we should probably put some distance between us and the fire-bitch. Get dressed, kitten.”

“Back to Helios?” she asked, flicking her cigarette.

“Yep. Looks like we’ve got some work to do,” he said, cracking the leash over Axton’s back like a whip and cackling as the commando howled in pain.

[fanatic-scribe]

Cherry Flavor

Fandoms: IT

Word Count: 2,222

Rating: Teen

Relationship: Reddie

Ao3: Here

Characters: Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak

Additional Tags: Sick Character, Sickfic, Some Cuddling

Summary:

Richie gets sick while on tour and it's up to Eddie to help him feel better.

Richie felt like his head was about to explode. This was definitely not his finest set, it didn’t help that the pressure in his head had grown past the level of comfortable halfway through. He was sick, really sick. The sinus headache has been brewing in his forehead all day and is finally acting its plan to kill the comedian. And it was doing a really good job at it.

Richie was doing his best to power through the set as best he could, the show must go on or some bullshit like that, but he just wanted it to be over as soon as possible. He was cold and achy, but the bright lights and clothes he wore made him feel sweaty and gross. Already having abandoned the idea of standing Richie had decided to sit in the uncomfortable wooden stool normally used for drinks. His normal classic glass of bourbon replaced with a bottle of water. If anyone in the audience could actually see him they would notice how pale and dead he looked. Well, more than usual anyway.

Thankfully, his throat was fine, leaving the impression that he was just a gross, sweaty, lazy man who couldn’t stop shaking. 

Fucking great.

Regardless, he finished his set hearing laughs and thunderous applause. Glad he switched to writing his own material. Even happier to finally be leaving the god damn stage and get to a fucking bed. He moved quickly past his agent trying to congratulate him on a good show, he knew the man was going to try and get him to spend time with fans after the show. Something about publicity or some shit like that. At this point it didn’t matter to him, he needed to lay down and pass out. 

Now.

-----------

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks, Eds. love you too.” Richie pressed his pointer and thumb against his temple trying to relieve the pressure. Eddie had meet Richie outside the hotel as he pulled up in his cab. With this show being close to where they lived Eddie had decided to spend his last few sets on the road with him. Eddie had not gone to this show because he had already seen his boyfriend’s set and he also wasn’t that big on being lost in a crowd again or the tag along backstage. That had been really awkward.

Eddie had known the moment Richie woke up that morning he was very sick, he had been sick all week but this morning was worse. Eddie suggested he should cancel the show for tonight. Richie refused, saying that his manager would never stop bitching if he let a stunt like that happen. Also, Richie was “no weak bitch” and could “handle anything Kaspbrak” so he didn’t need to cancel. 

He wished he canceled.

Eddie smiled slightly, happy to see that Richie still had a bit of bite to him. Slowly he grabbed the other man's waist before giving him a quick peck on the cheek, “Let’s get you feeling better.”

It was a long grueling walk back to their hotel room, somehow knowing that rest was so much closer made Richie feel even more weighed down by sickness. Once they got to the hotel room though Richie immediately fell face first onto the bed, still fully clothed and wearing shoes. Even though the harsh cold of an unused bed stung at his joints the bed was almost sinfully soft. It could have been the exhaustion but Richie could have sworn it was like laying down on a cloud. 

Richie was almost ready to fall asleep right there and then before he felt a light tug at his boot.

“Being sick doesn’t mean you can get dirt crumbs on the bed,” Eddie grumbled as he sat at the foot of the bed unlacing Richie’s boots. One by one he tugged them off and got up to set them neatly by the door before opening Richie’s bag to look for more comfortable clothes. “You need to learn how to fold your luggage,” Eddie muttered more to himself than anything as he pulled out wads of unfolded clothes, each one more covered in wrinkles than the last. Richie smiled to himself as he watched Eddie wonder in slight horror how many of his clothes were actually washed. 

Finally finding a pair of pajama pants, Eddie made his way back to the bed and ran a soothing hand other Richie’s back. “Babe, you should put on different pants,” Richie whined in response, knowing that meant he would have to move. “Don’t whine at me, you big baby.” Eddie couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice. “You’ll feel better if you're comfortable.”

Logically, Richie knew that was true, but the sick brain was very insistent that changing clothes was the worst thing he could possibly do right now. As much as Richie would have loved to listen to the sick brain Eddie was on the side of logic, gently flipping Richie onto his back and holding up the pants with a raised eyebrow. 

“Help me?” Richie said with a pout. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he set down the change of pants, “but only because you're sick. Don’t expect me to undress you when you’re too goddamn lazy to do it yourself.” Eddie reached forward and unfastened Richie's belt and buttons on his pants. Slowly, Eddie pulled off his jeans, his warm hands a stark difference to the chilly room that stung Richie’s sore muscles and joints. Richie managed to lift his hips to help but was just too tired to help as Eddie pulled the soft pajamas over his legs.

Eddie placed a gentle kiss on Richie’s forehead, “Gee Dr. K,” Richie said in his British accent, it got better with age but it was still terrible, “do all patients get this treatment or am I just incredibly lucky?”

“Alright if you can joke like that then your not too sick to finish changing.”

“Uhhhh, fine,” Richie whined as he sat up in the bed to unbutton his shirt and then pulled the undershirt over his head, he silently cursed himself for wearing two shirts. Immediately after his shirt was off his head Richie fell back onto the bed shifting so his head rested on the plush pillow. Richie felt the blanket and sheets being pulled over his body and tucked around him, as Richie lifted his head to see what was happening he realized he recognized the sheets around him.

“Eddie,” Eddie hummed a response as he riffled through his blue toiletries bag, “are these our sheets?” Eddie looked up from his bag with a deadpan expression.

“Yeah, I changed the sheets before you got here.” He pulled a few bottles out of his bag, “You never know how long ago these were washed, or if there are bed bugs or-”

“Alright alright, I get it. Germs and shit.” Richie lifted a hand to rub at his forehead and temples, “God I feel fucking horrible.”

“Don’t worry,” Eddie moved his hair and kissed Richie’s forehead, “I’ll make you feel better.”

Nobody would have expected Eddie to be this comfortable around a sick person. With his terrible health anxiety, other’s had know Eddie to almost quarantine himself at the first sign of flu season. Yet here he was taking care of a very sick Richie Tozier.

This was partly because recently Eddie had been getting help dealing with his anxieties. Really all the losers had. In a way they were each other's rock, they all had issues they needed to figure out and they would always be there for each other.

Also, Eddie was always the type of person to do anything for the people he loved. Even being exposed to terrible sickness.

The next few minutes consisted of a struggle to get Richie to take liquid medicine. Eddie insisted it was better and acted faster than the pill form, and Richie called bullshit because liquid medicine tasted like rotten ass. Even with Eddie insisting that the cherry flavored one wasn't as bad Richie still called bullshit on the grounds that cherry-flavored anything tasted like rotten ass. He also brought up the argument that he wasn't a child anymore and that flavored trick won't work on him.

Many insults were thrust back and forth, someone was called a “pussy bitch,” “slimy bitch goblin,” and “crotch hound” among other things before Richie finally relented. Sitting up in bed with his back against the bedpost to down three different viscous liquids, with a sour face after each gulp and gag. “Don’t be such a baby,” Eddie scoffed with an eye roll as he handed Richie a glass of water.

“Fuck you, Spaghetti man.” Richie downed the glass before setting the glass down on the nightstand. Eddie quickly grabbed it to take it to the bathroom sink to wash.

“You’re still gonna be a dick after I saved your life?” Eddie smirked before walking off with the glass to refill it. Richie chuckled to himself as he settled back into the bed, still with the sickly sour-sweet cherry taste in his throat. 

When Eddie set the newly filled glass of water on the nightstand before telling Richie he was going to get ready for bed. He handed Richie the remote and channel list before grabbing his other toiletry bag and headed to the bathroom. As Richie turned on the TV and flipped through the channels, pay no mind to the channel list, he could hear the sound of the shower being turned on. He knew Eddie would be there for some time, even with his health anxiety getting better he still had those fears and being around a sick person probably didn’t help. Richie settling on a channel playing reruns of Forensic Files and from the looks of the guide it was a marathon, something he could definitely stay on until Eddie was finished. As he watched the actors move across the screen with commentary from the narrator and those involved in the crime he felt his eyelids grow heavy.

---------

Richie wasn’t aware that he had fallen asleep until a shifting in the bed stirred him. Richie moved to rub the sleep from his eyes to see he had fallen asleep with his glasses on. The TV was still playing the same show but an entirely different episode, as he stretched his arms out he could make out the sound of the narrator talking about DNA. He still felt sore, but he was definitely better than before. The room seemed darker except for the glow of the TV illuminating the small space.

“Did you seriously fall asleep watching your murder shows?” Richie turned his head to see Eddie settling into the bed next to him, Richie could feel the soft silk of his pajamas against his skin. There was something very comforting in that, Eddie choosing to wear his silk pajamas even while sleeping in a hotel room. Richie wondered which pair he had brought.

It wasn’t until Eddie was pulling the covers over himself that Richie thought about how this could make Eddie uncomfortable. Even though he had gone leaps and bounds with his health anxiety recovery it was still there, and there were still things he was iffy about. Being next to a sick person was one of them. 

“Do you want me to move?” Richie asked.

“What?” Eddie looked at him like Richie had grown a second head, his face half in shadow from the dull glow from the tv.

“I'm, like, really sick and I don’t want to freak you out.”

“Richie that’s-”

“I can move to the couch if you want.”

“Richie-”

“Yeah, I’ll call the front desk and ask them for another set of blankets.” Richie was about to reach for the phone on the nightstand when he felt Eddie grab his wrist.

“Tozier, don’t be fucking stupid.” His voice more than a little stern the show had gone to commercial as an ad for some fast food chicken played in the background  “Just come here.” Eddie leaned back against the pillows and pulled Richie closer to him.

Followed Eddie’s lead, Richie slowly laid his head on Eddie’s silk-clad chest, one of Eddie’s arms was under Richie as he rubbed up and down Richie’s back. Richie was very aware of how sweaty his skin was from his nap earlier but Eddie didn’t say anything about it. Eventually, Richie relaxed into his lover’s chest, soothed by the steady heartbeat and the feel of his hands running through his hair. Eddie placed a kiss at the top of Richie’s head, “Richie, I love you so much. I don’t care if you are sick, I want to be there for you no matter what.”

“I love you too Eds.” Richie smiled to himself, “I promise to take care of you when I make you violently sick.”

“Shut up, Trashmouth.” Richie could feel the slight bump in his chest from a silent chuckle.

After a few minutes of holding each other Richie could feel his eyes closing again, soothed by the rhythmic sounds of Eddie’s heart against his ear. “Hey, uh, Richie?”

“Hmmm?” Richie hummed in response.

“Can we please change the channel?” Eddie held Richie close as he reached for the remote, “Your murder show is really starting to creep me out.”

[softpepperony]

Mission: Kitten

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,508

Warnings: VERY brief mention of animal abuse

Summary: You fall in love with a kitten from the shelter you volunteer at. After meeting him, Bucky does too, he just takes his sweet time to admit it. FLUFF

*This is my first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad, I’m sorry. Don’t be afraid to leave constructive criticism or even prompts in my inbox! TY<3*

You got in your car with your new cat, Finnigan. After years of volunteering at the local animal shelter, you’re surprised you’ve made it this long without taking at least one of the animals you take care of home. Part of the reason was that your boyfriend, Bucky had made the “no pets” rule. It wasn’t that he didn’t like animals or was allergic, he was just worried that your lifestyles wouldn’t make allowances for such adorable little balls of fur. After all, he was an Avenger and you worked for S.H,I.E.L.D, so your lives were a little unpredictable. But this little guy stole your heart the minute you saw him. He’s just over six months old with long black and white fur. His missing eye and smushed face are just to die for. You set Finnigan’s, or Finny’s for short, carrier in your passenger seat and began to make the drive home. 

“Oh Finny”, you say to the carrier to your right, “I’m sure he’ll love you... don’t be nervous... are you nervous?”

Of course he isn’t nervous you think to yourself He’s a cat! You’re the one who’s nervous [Y/N]

The rest of the ride home was you rehearsing how tonight would go 

“Hey Buck... You know I love you very much.. right” no

“Hey babe... don’t be mad at me BUT” oh no, he’s definitely gonna be mad

“Hey buck... iknowyousaidnopetsbutthisoneisspecialandicouldn’tsaynosopleasecanwekeephim” Well, at least it’s straight to the point. 

You pull into the driveway before you were done planning the scenario in your head.  

“looks like I’m winging it” you mutter under your breath. 

You get out of the car and take Finny’s carrier in one hand and fling your bag over your shoulder with the other. You were just about to open the door, but Bucky beat you to it. 

“Hey doll, how was the shelter today?” a soft voice asks as he pulls you into a hug.

“Oh ya know, it was.... great just.....great” you reply, trying to conceal Finnigan’s carrier behind your legs. 

“Oh? Is Everything ok? Here.. let me take your bags for you” He takes your purse from your shoulder and then reaches for the carrier. “Um Doll, what’s that?”

Shoot. Uhhhh cover it up

“Bucky.. that’s my purse... I take that with me everywhere... It has my phone, wallet, keys..” 

“I mean... what’s... why is that plastic case meowing?” 

Buckyyyyy this wasn’t part of the plan

“Look, Buck.. I know you had told me no pets, but this little guy... I just.. couldn’t say no to him. He hasn’t left me alone since we brought him in” You say as you lift Finnigan out of his carrier. “I mean, c’mon look at his little face! And his fluffy fur!!” 

“[Y/N], I told you, we can’t have a pet. We can’t take care of a pet! Maybe if you brought home something smaller like a fish, it would’ve been fine! But a cat? Where is he gonna sleep? What does he eat? What if he makes a mess of our place?” He looks at your falling expression, “what if we have to go on a mission all of a sudden?”

“Bucky, It’d be YOU going on a mission, remember? I’m the brains, you’re the muscle.”

“Doll....”

“Please Buck, please?”

As hard as he’s tried, Bucky Barnes could never say no to you. 

You notice Bucky deep in thought, after a few seconds and your puppy dog eyes looking directly at him, he finally declares, “Fine, I suppose he could stay. For a little bit at least” 

“YAY! Bucky, thank you so much!!!” You throw your arms around him, leaving almost no room for poor Finny. You don’t realize this until you hear a faint squeak come from between your bodies. “Sorry Finny, I’m just so happy you’re finally home” 

You bring your purse and Finny inside, leaving Bucky to take the carrier. 

“I just want you to know this is TEMPORARY” You hear Bucky’s voice call from behind. “what are we going to do with him?”

“Well, he’ll need a bed, food, a water dish... a litter box” you reply.

“And where exactly will we get these things from?”

“Well, if you don’t mind staying here, I can run to the store and-”

The door opens and Sam Wilson enters. 

“Hey guys I was just wondering if- well who is this??” Sam asks when Finnigan starts rubbing his ankles, a cats way of asking for attention.

“That’s Finnigan” you answer as Sam picks him up, “I was actually just on my way out to pick up some supplies for him”

“You were?” Bucky asks

“Well, yes unless you would like to go and I’ll stay with the cat?”

“So you’re telling me you just brought this cat home on a whim five minutes ago and now you want to leave me alone with it?”

“Do you need someone to watch him?” Sam interjects, holding and petting Finn while Finny purrs away in his arms. “Because... if you do.. I really don’t mind”

“You’re a bird, Sam, aren’t you supposed to be AFRAID of cats?” Bucky retorts.

“Nah, not this one dude. What’s he gonna do? Snuggle me to death?” Sam answers and Finnigan mews in agreement. 

“Tell ya what, [Y/N], Sam and I will stay with the cat while you go out and get him some things. Ok?” Bucky offers. He’s volunteering to watch him, that’s a good sign, right?

“Sounds good” you say, grabbing the keys to you car off the shelf, “See you guys later. Please don’t wreck anything OR HIM while I’m gone”

The door closes. Sam and Bucky make their way to the furniture that’s set up in the loft.

“So when did you decide to adopt a cat? I always thought you hated animals!” Sam questions while lounging in the large armchair and placing his feet on the coffee table.

“Sam- it-it’s not that I hate animals, it’s just... having such an unpredictable lifestyle...” 

“Buck, I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s not like [Y/N] goes on these missions too. Sure being a Shield agent can be unpredictable at times, but if worse comes to worst, you could always hire a sitter” Sam attempts to calm his nerves.

“A sitter.. for a cat? Sam c’mon don’t you think that’s a little much?” 

“Nah man, people do that all the time!”

“Ok fine, but what if he breaks stuff, or worse, gets hurt? I swear I’ll never hear the end of it!” 

“Bucky, he’s a kitten, look man, he’s already asleep” they both glance down at Sam’s lap where a sleepy Finnigan lays contentedly. 

“Maybe for now”

“Having a pet may not exactly be easy but be thankful it’s a cat. She could’ve come home with a tarantula... or another exotic animal, one of those 14 foot long snakes” Sam laughs. 

“At least those guys stay in their enclosure” 

It seemed like nothing was ever going to make Bucky ok with the idea of having a cat. No matter how hard Sam tried to talk to him, it would always come back to “but what if we get called on a mission?” “what if he ruins our house?” “his fur is gonna get everywhere it’s gonna be so messy!”

The door opens and you enter with an armful of Petsmart bags. Finnigan’s little ears perk up in his sleepy state. Once he realizes what’s going on, he jumps off of Sam’s lap and runs over to greet his new mother. 

“Hi Finny baby!!!” You baby talk to the kitten, “I’m back and I have some food, a bed and some toys for you sweetie!! Are you excited?” Finny meows back and Bucky shakes his head.

“It’s gonna be ok, man” Sam reassures him. 

You don’t waste any time in setting up the kittens living area. You set his food and water dishes down on a mat on the tile floor of the kitchen, his bed right near the furniture in the loft and unpack a wand with some ribbons attached for him to play with. You drag the ribbon across the floor and watch as Finnigan scrambles to catch it. Sam laughs, Bucky does too but as soon as he knows you’ve noticed, he goes back to being unamused. 

“Oh! And one more thing!” you say, pulling a teal blue collar with reflective stars on it out of it’s packaging, “I got you a collar and will be ordering tags just in case you get lost!” you put the collar around Finny’s neck. 

“You got him a collar? [Y/N], you know we can’t keep him right? We are only taking care of him until we find him a family that wants him”

“Bucky... please” you beg. 

“[Y/N] no, I told you this is only temporary. He’s cute and all but we really can’t have him running around making a mess of things and getting his fur everywhere!”

You decide that having Finny home with you for now is good enough, at least Bucky let the cat inside... which is more than you thought he’d do. 

“Hey guys, it was fun hanging but it is getting pretty late. I’m gonna head back home. If you guys, or Finny, need anything, you know where I’m at” Sam gives Finny one last pat on the head before closing your door. 

In all the excitement, you really didn’t realize just how quickly time moves. You glance at the clock, 12:01 am. It’s definitely time to call it a night. Bucky makes his way to your shared room while you pick Finny up and give him a kiss goodnight.

“It’s ok Finny, we’ll convince him sooner or later” you promise to the kitten while setting him in his bed. He purrs and drifts off to sleep. You head off to bed as well. 

You wake up the next morning and find Finnigan(by some miracle) right where you had left him. You start brewing the coffee, throw some bagels in the toaster and then go to sit with your new baby. 

“Good morning Finny” you greet him. He nuzzles his little face against your hand and you start petting him. “How’d you sleep little guy? You must have really slept huh? Cause I found you right where I left you last night. I thought kittens like to cause mischief while their parents were asleep but not you sweetheart, you’re an angel” you continue to have this one sided conversation with the kitten until you hear the toaster go off. You stand up to take the bagels out but Bucky beats you to it.

“It’s ok doll, I’ll get them, you can keep talking” A small smile forms on Bucky’s face which he immediately wipes away when he sees you’ve noticed. You stand up anyway to go greet him with a kiss. 

“Morning baby, how’d you sleep?” you ask

“I slept all right darlin, howabout you?”

“All right as well”

“Do you want cream cheese or butter on your bagel?”

“Cream cheese please!”

“What time are you going to the shelter today, doll?”

“I was going to head out as soon as we finished breakfast. We just got in this litter of kittens, 4 of them found in a plastic bag on the side of the highway, mother nowhere to be seen”

“Okay doll, does that mean I’m watching Finnigan?” Bucky asks while pouring two mugs of coffee. 

“If you don’t mind”

“So am I just going to be left with the cat every day?”

“Not everyday Buck, besides. He’s so cute! How can you be mad about spending time with a face like that?”

“Not mad, doll.” he pauses, “and I suppose I could watch him today”

“Thank you” 

You finish up breakfast and quickly get ready. You give Bucky and Finny a kiss goodbye and then head to your car. The day went by so slow. All you wanted to do was be home to spend time with your furbaby, but you also realized there were other animals that needed caring for. You went through your daily routine of cleaning the cats crates, playing with them, making sure they all had food and water, and brushing them as well. Especially the long haired cats. They always required a little extra care because of their easily tangled coats. You and another girl you worked with took the dogs for a walk and cleaned their crates. Caring for 40+ animals daily was a lot of work but well worth the gross and tired feeling at the end of the day.  By the time the end of the day arrived, you were ready to be home. 

You pulled in the driveway and opened the door to a seemingly empty house.

“Bucky? Finny? Anyone here?” you called, hoping there would be an answer. 

“In here doll” you heard a call from the bedroom. 

“Please tell me you have the cat as well” 

“I do” Bucky replied, and you relaxed. 

“I’m gonna take a shower, Buck would you mind getting dinner started?” you ask. 

“That would be a question for Finnigan” 

“Bucky what are you talking about?” 

You open the bedroom door to find Bucky laying on the bed with Finnigan sprawled out across his legs, both of them were clearly comfortable, ESPECIALLY Finnigan. You could hear his purrs all the way to the door. You smile and shake your head. 

“I thought you didn’t like him” you tease.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t like him, it’s just that I was scared to be responsible for another life when mine is so unpredictable. But [Y/N], he hasn’t left my side all day and just has the cutest little voice. And look at him! He’s so fluffy and his little face with his missing eye! How can you not absolutely be in love?”

“Bucky, this is what I’ve been trying to show you! So...”

“What, doll?” 

“Can he stay”

“Of course” 

Nothing made you happier than hearing that. You loved Bucky with your whole heart and seeing him fall in love with that kitten made you love him even more. You place a quick kiss on his lips before saying “Thank you”. He wraps his strong arm around you and pulls you into his chest. He kisses your forehead as you nuzzle into him further. Finnigan walks up to rub his face against yours and licks your nose delicately before laying beside you. Everything is perfect. You’re with the love of your life, and Finny is yours and Bucky’s forever. This little family is all you could’ve asked for and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“I love you” you tell Bucky 

“I love you” he replies, “And Finnigan too” patting the almost asleep kitten on the head. 

“I’m so lucky” you mumble, so tired you can barely speak.

Bucky grins and holds you closer. 

“Go to sleep doll, you’ve had a long day”

And so you do, you drift off to sleep in his arms with your kitten right beside you.

[fromthadiningtable]

Tommy Lee x Reader Headcanon: Tommy’s Your Dealer

Warnings: language and slight smut if you blink really quick, also fluff a little

Okay so you really like smoking weed

It takes away all of your stress, makes sex better, makes food taste amazing, makes you all giggly

You’d struggled to find someone reliable (surprisingly) in your neighbourhood in LA

It was either really shitty weed or the guy was sketchy or never showed for a meet up

It was frustrating for awhile until you ran into Tommy at a night club

He was a long haired boy who liked eyeliner, was tall and skinny, wore tight pants most days

The music was booming in the night club and you had seen Tommy under the strobe lights pass some pills to someone next to you

When he was done with that deal, you danced over his way and yelled, “Do you sell grass?”

Tommy smiled and nodded, “Follow me, princess”

Tommy’s biggest weakness? Women

You followed him through the sweaty crowd and out of the nightclub doors

The LA night air felt chilly on your skin and gave you goosebumps all over your arms and shoulders that were exposed

Tommy kept walking, occasionally making sure you were keeping up with his long legs

“Alright, down here” he pulled you in to a small grassy area that wasn’t very well lit

You got a little nervous, you didn’t know this guy at all and he was pulling you away from public eye to sell you drugs

“Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you,” he called out, you’d fallen a little far behind

You crossed your arms and caught up to him and then you both stood for a moment

“I just don’t want to sell in front of all those people” Tommy said gesturing to the busy street out of view for now

You nodded and let him know it wasn’t a problem and you got his number for the future

He continued to be a great dealer for the next couple of weeks, always picking up when you needed him and meeting in the best spots and always on time

He always excited to see you, ask about your life and if you got out anymore

“Well I got some new shit in, it’s pretty good,” he hands it to you and you smell and it smells great

“Thank you so much” you beam at him and he smiles back and winks

“See you around?” He says and you obviously know he will so you roll your eyes playfully

Eventually you guys get comfortable enough that you exchange addresses and he comes to your house a bunch to deliver it to you

It’s much safer this way you felt and it made you guys less paranoid

One night, Tommy shows up on your doorstep stupid drunk

“Heyyyy” he smiles up at you and you melt but you also know you need to get him inside

“Tommy, what the fuck?” You sigh and bend down to pick him up

“How long have you been on my doorstep?” You ask, maybe you hadn’t even heard him

“Uhhhh, like 15 minutes?” He scratches his head

You can’t help but giggle at the sight of him and somehow you drag him inside

You heave him onto the couch and go in the kitchen to make him a glass of water

He’s mumbling to himself and you can barely make out anything he’s saying and you just shake your head

You sit next to him on the couch and set the glass of water next to him

“Here, drink that” you push it a little

He sits up out of his stupor and grabs the glass and chugs the whole thing down

Looks at you and tries not to burp super loud but manages to still do it

You giggle at him once more

He smiles at you

He reaches a hand out to put it on your lap and rub your thigh a little but not too sensually just yet

“Hey,” he says simply

“Hey there” you smile and your cheeks are burning a little bit

“You doing okay? Why’d come you come here?” You ask in a hurried way

“Jesus, so many questions Y/N” he rubs his face

“I’m good I’m good, and I came here because...well...I kind of missed you” he laughed and rubbed his face again knowing he was being cheesy

“Oh, you missed me drummer?” You asked, picking on his other career choice besides dealer

“I did,” and he leans in to kiss you

You’re surprised at first, not knowing he felt this way

You kissed him back and immediately his tongue is in your mouth and you’re exploring each other completely

(Let me know if you guys want smut at all ;) )

Tags: @itsmotleyfuckingcrue @swoopygorl @madsthegroupie @caos18blog @pandem--onium @annabeth-14 @langdonsdemon @rxsesinjune @machinegunkiki @itsharleyalb @sisterchristixn @luv4fandoms @yesloverboy @solohqrry @anxious-diabetic @she-likes-dead-flowers @leterscam @kennisababe @twistnet @kat-976 @jongkey1221 @peyton-wieland @technicallyvirtualmilkshake @criminalyetminimal

[its-a-spn-thing]

Are You Ready To Talk?

Square Filled: Purgatory!Dean

Title: Are You Ready To Talk? 

Word Count: 3,565

Pairing / Characters: Purgatory!Dean x Reader, Sam

Warnings / Rating: 18+ only. Dean is still aggressive and dealing with the ramifications of purgatory.  Bondage. Breaking and entering. Some choking. Spanking. Unprotected sex. Reader gets tazed. 

Summary: Sam and Dean are on a shifter case in your town, and the victim just so happens to be your roommate. Dean is still dealing with the ramifications of purgatory, so when he finds out that you're keeping something from him, he won't hold back to get what he needs.

A/N: This one is slightly a slow build, so I do apologize

Masterlist

SPN Kink Bingo Masterlist

READ THIS FIC ON AO3

“Dean!” Sam shook Dean to try and wake him up from whatever nightmare he was having. “Dean, wake up,” he grabbed his shoulder, “it’s not real.”

Dean ran through the gray forests, blood covered his face and vampires chased him. Once they were too close, Dean turned around and fought the vampires with Benny.

Finally, he woke up and gasped for air. Sitting up, he saw Sam sitting on the edge of the bed. The look on Sam’s face showed nothing but concern for Dean. The night terrors scared him just as much as they scared Dean. He wished he could make him better, but this was one of those things that could only be healed with time.

It had been two weeks since Dean escaped purgatory and wound up in the middle of nowhere with his new friend Benny. The flashbacks were so vivid – as were the dreams. His eyes were still sensitive to light. That was the thing about purgatory. There was no sunshine. Just gray.

“Sam,” Dean yawned and pulled the blankets off, “what’s wrong?” Dean always tried to make it seem like he didn’t remember his nightmares. He hoped he wasn’t screaming in his sleep. He hoped Sam didn’t know.

“Really, Dean?” Sam looked at him and stood up. “You know, I realize that you’re having a tough time with this.”

“With what?” Dean snapped. “What Sam, what am I having a hard time with?” His voice was loud and gravely. He was upset. He didn’t want to talk about it, but Sam could never seem to let it go.

“Forget it,” Sam started towards the door. “I’ve got a case in Colorado. I’ll be back in a few days.”

“No, no,” Dean stood up from his bed, “I’m going with you.”

After a few minutes of protesting from Sam, they finally agreed that he should tag along. They set some ground rules while they packed their belongings into the Impala. Dean was not allowed to talk to witnesses. He was in charge of research, and Sam was in charge of asking questions.

Dean was driving, and Sam was in the passenger side. They were in a small town in Colorado.

“So,” Dean kept his eyes on the road, “what do we got, Sammy?”

Sam looked down at the papers on his lap. “Y/N Y/L/N, aged 24, found her roommate dead when she got home from work.” He looked at Dean and then back down to the papers. “Victims name was Sarah Montgomery, also 24, cause of death asphyxiation.” He looked confused all of the sudden. “Get this,” Sam started, “the fingerprints around her neck belonged to her boyfriend, but he has an alibi.”

Dean shrugged, still focusing on the road. “Could be lying.”

“He was at work, and everyone he worked with that night vouched for him.” Sam responded.

“So, we got a shapeshifter.” He pulled into the motel parking lot and opened the door. “Great.” He said sarcastically.

It was late morning when you decided to get up and clean the apartment. The apartment was empty without your roommate, and a lot more expensive now. You had to work late tonight, so you decided to clean the place and relax before your shift.

You put on old, comfy clothes, and turned the radio on and started to scour the kitchen first. When suddenly, there came a knock at your door. You ignored it at first - you figured it was a reporter, or a Jehovah’s Witness. You turned the music up a few decibels and went back to cleaning. A few moments later there came another knock.

“Jesus Christ,” you mumbled to yourself, throwing the broom on the ground. You were frustrated. You were mad. Your best friend is dead, and you just wanted to be left alone.

When you opened the door you were pleasantly surprised to see two tall, handsome men standing before you. One was tall with long dark hair, and the other was slightly shorter with short hair. You thought to yourself, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” But you didn’t dare say that out loud. Instead you didn’t say a word. You just gave them a “may I help you” look. You widened your eyes and crossed your arms across your chest and waited for one of the tall drinks of water to say something.

“Uhhhh,” the taller one stammered reaching in his pocket. “Are you Y/N?” He and his partner both pulled out FBI badges.

You nodded your head and invited them in.

“So,” you poured the agents two cups of coffee. “Agent…” you trailed off because you couldn’t remember their last names.

“Oh,” the short haired one said, after taking a swig of coffee. “I’m sorry. I’m agent Osbourne and this is my partner agent Cooper.”

The two of them sat at your coffee table and you sat across from them, cross legged on the floor. They asked you questions about Sarah. Who she was dating. Where she worked. What she did in her spare time. There were a couple things you didn’t answer though, you just told them you didn’t know. But you knew.

Your best friend, Sarah, she had a boyfriend, but she wasn’t exactly loyal to him. She was having a secret liaison with a man who she adored, but was married and had children. You tried to talk her out of it time after time, but she never listened. You didn’t want the affair to get out. It would break her parents’ heart, and it would break her boyfriend’s heart.

Her boyfriend, Nick, was so good to her. You didn’t want him to hate Sarah now. She was gone, and there was nothing you could do to bring her back. But deep down, you knew that her married man had something to do with her death.

When agent Osbourne and Cooper left, they seemed flustered. Agent Osbourne got loud a few times during questioning. You felt like you were being grilled, put on the spot. You told them it was time to leave. Agent Cooper apologized for his behavior, and they left. You noticed their car didn’t seem very “government official.” It was a classic. A 60-something Impala. A car like that wasn’t meant for FBI agents.

Once you finished cleaning the apartment it was time to go to work, and that sucked even worse than being grilled by two FBI agents all afternoon.

By the time you got home from work it was pushing eleven o’clock. You couldn’t wait to take a hot shower, get in your comfies and watch a movie in bed.

You unlocked the door to your apartment, and took a look around. You always forgot to turn the lights on when you leave, and coming home to a dark house is always slightly unsettling. You used your hands to guide you to the light switch on the wall, and when you flipped the light on you saw agent Osbourne sitting on the couch with his feet resting on the coffee table, shoes still on.

When you saw him you jumped and put your hand on your chest to make sure your heart was still pumping blood through your veins. “Agent!” You said breathily. “Wh-wha,” you stammered. You were slightly terrified, but you couldn’t deny that he was attractive. Still, a strange man somehow got into your apartment with the doors locked. You had a lot of questions. “What,” you walked towards him. “What are you doing here?”

He stood up. He seemed a lot taller now that his partner wasn’t standing next to him. Where was his partner?

He was in street clothes too, a blue jacket, a red flannel, and worn-out jeans. “You,” he laughed, “You’re not the one asking me questions here, sweetheart.” He inched closer to you. Closer. Closer. Each step he took towards you, you took one backwards. You smiled and giggled nervously. “O-okay.” Your back reached the wall. “Ask away.” You forced a smile.

He was now an inch away from your face. He crouched down so he was eye level with you and rested his palms on his knees. He pouted his lips and asked, “Who was Sarah dating?” You rolled your eyes and arched your neck so your head was now resting against the wall, your eyes focusing on the ceiling. You had to avoid his green-eyed gaze. It took everything out of you to not kiss him. “I’ve already told you,” you said, exasperated. “Sarah was dating Nick, they were together for six months, and that’s literally all I know.” You returned your head back to an upright position to meet his gaze. He wasn’t buying it.

He stood up and turned around to walk away from you. “Ya see, doll,” he turned back around to face you once he was a few feet away from you, “that doesn’t exactly work for me.” He crossed his arms across his chest.

“Yeah?” You were angry now. This man broke into your house and is now giving you a hard time. “Tough.” You walked towards the door and when you finally approached the door and turned the knob he was behind you and slammed it back shut. You were still facing the door and his arms were on either side of you. You were trapped. “What do you want from me. Agent?” You put emphasis on the word “agent” to show him that you knew he wasn’t and FBI agent. You turned back around and flashed him a cheeky grin. “I’m not gonna say it again,” you ducked under his arm to escape his reach, “it is time for you to go.”

He smiled and raised his eyebrows. “Hun,” he reached in his back pocket, you followed his arm to see what it was he was reaching for, “I’m not going anywhere.” You were startled when you felt an electric shock run through your whole body.

When you woke up, you were cold. Really cold, actually. And when you finally snapped out of it, you remembered what just happened between you and the wanna-be FBI agent. You tried to sit up, but you quickly realized you couldn’t move. You wrists were tied above you.

“Rise and shine,” you heard his deep voice and it shook you to the bone. “Are you ready to talk, or is it still gonna take some doin’?” You were in your basement, and your wrists were tied to the rafters. Your feet were on the concrete, cold and wet. And you should’ve worn a longer shirt because your reach was causing your shirt to ride up almost to your chest.

The man was standing close to you, but not too close.

“You’re not an FBI agent,” you said. “You broke into my home, tazed me, and tied me up in my basement,” the aggravation in your voice was obvious, “and you want me to talk? Ever hear of going out for coffee before you take this step?!” You shouted, and your voice echoed through the dank basement.

He didn’t say anything. He just laughed.

“This is funny?” You rolled your eyes and scoffed. He stepped closer to you and wrapped his hand around your face, squeezing one cheek with his thumb and the other with his fingers. He brought his face close to yours, noses almost touching. “Now you listen to me, and you listen good,” he squeezed your face harder now. “You’re going to tell me everything you know, because I know there’s more.” He smiled and you felt your eyes swell and form tears.

He shushed you gently. “That’s not going to work,” he said. “I am not leaving here until you tell me.”

He released his grip on your face, and you looked down to the ground. You were crying. Not because you were afraid of this man, even though something told you that you should be. No, you were crying because he knew he was going to force you to tell him.

Your head was still down when you shook your head. “You don’t understand,” a single tear flowed down your cheek. “Sarah was my best friend and if I tell you what I know, and it gets out, her reputation will be destroyed.” He began to unbutton your jeans and you squirmed to try and get him to stop. “Please, please don’t do this.” He pulled your jeans and panties down to your ankles and delivered a hard smack to you bare ass. The sting was intense. You knew where this was going.

“Spanking?” You scoffed. “Really?”

He looked at you and he seemed confused. “What’s the matter, Agent?” You said with another cheeky smile. “Cat’s got your tongue?” You giggled. You were openly laughing at him. This pissed him off and he started to undo his belt.

You looked up at the ceiling and groaned, knowing what was about to happen. You giggled and tightened your body in anticipation before the cold, hard snap of leather met your backside. And again. And again. You were starting to sweat, but nowhere near broken. In fact, you chuckled, and looked down. You let out a long, loud sigh. “That’s it, Daddy, spank me.”

He raised one eyebrow, almost stunned at this comment. He was starting to get annoyed, and he knew you were antagonizing him. He slowly walked around you, his loud footsteps lingering. Once he was facing you, he quickly wrapped his large hand around your throat. His face was scrunched and his eyebrows were furrowed.

You gasped as his palm pressed against your larynx and fingers squeezed the side of your neck. You could see it in his eyes. You wanted to antagonize him a little more before he cut off blood flow to your brain. You smiled at him once more.

He grunted and released his grip. He walked away from you and put his hand up to his mouth when he turned to face you once more. “Listen,” he walked towards you again, “there is something you’re not telling me.” You rolled your eyes at him. He wasn’t going to let it go.

“You’re going to have to be a little nicer than this, Agent.” He responded by nodding his head once. He was thinking, and he was thinking hard.

His loud footsteps were circling your bound body once more. You followed him with your head. Each time he was at your side you would smirk at him. And finally, when he was behind you, the footsteps stopped.

“You want me to be nice to you, Y/N?” he kicked one of your legs open with his foot. “Is that what you want?” He kicked the other one open with his other foot. He reached up with his left arm and ran it down your arm, down your side while the other hand wrapped around your waist. He nuzzled his face into your neck and breathed in your sent. Once his arm reached your hip, he caressed your waistline. “Is this what you want?” He rested his hand on your mound and you nodded your head.

“Speak!” He exclaimed before delivering a quick, sharp slap to your folds.

You shrieked. “Yes!” You brought your head back and rested it against his chest. “Yes, please.”

He chuckled evilly, and gently rubbed your clit with the pad of his forefinger. You moaned quietly and spread your legs wider. He smiled, but you couldn’t see it. Your head was still resting on his chest, but your eyes were closed.

He reached up to grasp your neck with the hand that wasn’t working your clit. You gasped and your knees started to buckle. When he saw the desperation in your eyes, he entered one long finger into your cunt. “Oh, my God!” He said loudly, and then he laughed. He was laughing at you. “You filthy little slut. How long have you been turned on, huh?”

He fucked you harder and faster with his finger, and rubbed your clit even faster. “Tell me, sweetheart.” His voice was straining from working you with his fingers. “Was it when you saw me sitting in your living room?” He went even faster now, and you moaned. “Fuck!” You shrieked.

He ignored your moans, and curses. “No, no it had to be when you woke up tied up in your own basement.”

Your moans sped up, and he didn’t stop. “Oh my God, fuck.”

“Or was it when I smacked your ass? Or when I-” He grabbed your throat once more “-did this? It seemed like you liked it when I did this.” He squeezed harder. You were getting close. You felt your orgasm build in the pit of your stomach and your nerve endings tingle. “Oh fuck, don’t stop.” Your voice was strained as his palm constricted your voice box. You finally reached the precipice of your release. And he stopped.

He laughed wickedly, and walked away from you. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He said. But you didn’t respond. You just kept your head down and tried to catch your breath. He walked towards you. “Hey!” The loudness of his voice made you jump, but you didn’t look at him. You kept your head down.

He snapped his fingers quickly, and lightly slapped you in the face. “Hello? Y/N?” You looked up at him, your eyes were heavy and your hair was stuck to your face from the sweat and tears. “I’m not done with you.”

He quickly undid the restraints, and held you up. He picked you up and threw you against the wall. He kissed you and lifted you in his arms. You moaned in his mouth and wrapped your tired legs around his waist. He found the closest thing he could set you down on - your washing machine. He quickly undid his pants and flannel without breaking the kiss.

He knelt down on the cold cement floor, and opened your knees with his hands and delivered a few licks to your dripping core, and entered two fingers. “Gotta stretch you out a little bit, hun.” You giggled, and he stood up and quickly put his bulging cock inside of you. You grabbed on to the edge of your washing machine and threw your head back as his length hit your g-spot. He cupped your cheek with his hand and watched as he fucked you.

When he picked up the pace, you started to slide off the machine, so he gripped your legs to hold you. “Oh fuck, baby,” he moaned. Your mouth was open and you looked him deep in his emerald green eyes. You were speechless and breathless. He continued hitting your spot over and over again until you thought you couldn’t take anymore.

He stuck one long finger in your open mouth and got in wet before rubbing on your clit with his now lubricated finger. “Oh my God!” You cried out. “Fuck! Fuck, I’m close.” You moaned and squeezed his torso tighter with your sweat-covered legs. “I’ll tell you everything, just please let me cum!”

He chuckled and smiled widely. He knew he was about to get what he wanted. “If I let you cum, you’re going to give me what I want.” It wasn’t a question. You didn’t have a choice. You needed to cum.

Once more you felt your orgasm build in your stomach, it came quickly this time. Your eyes rolled back in your head, and you shrieked loudly and you were inching closer to your orgasm. “Please! Fuck!” Within seconds you dripped and came on his cock, and he finished inside you.

You both sat there for a moment to catch your breath. He was still inside you and his head was resting on your chest. "You have no idea how badly I needed that." He said, still trying to catch his breath. "Thank you."

"No problem," you smiled. "But how did you even get in here in the first place?" You asked. "Is this how you pick up all your girls?" He laughed at that comment because he now realized how crazy he's been acting.

"No," he looked at you, "I've just been going through a bit of a rough patch." He seemed apologetic when he gazed into your eyes. "So, I'm sorry for scaring you, I just haven't quite been myself lately."

"It's okay, but next time just call me so I can let you in," you smiled, knowing good and well there wasn't going to be a next time. He gave you a half smirk because he knew it too.

Dean moved away from the washing machine so you could get off and you both got dressed. "Come upstairs, I'll get you some coffee."

In the kitchen you told him everything over coffee. You told him about Sarah’s affair with the married man. He seemed relieved, happy, and much nicer than he was before.

Once the coffee ran dry, you walked him to the front door to let him out. Before he walked out, he turned to face you, cupped your face and kissed your cheek. “I’m Dean, by the way.” You smiled.

“Well, Dean, it was nice to meet you.” You responded. And before you knew it, he was gone. You knew you were never going to see him again. Too bad, because that was the best sex you've ever had.

@spnkinkbingo @idreamofplaid @maddiepants @leatherandapplepies @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @covered-byroses

@risingphoenix761 @squirrelnotsam @supernatural-took-me-over

[klimtandbencbatch]

A Rhodey POV where he sees his favorite white boy fall in love with a wizard???

i did 3rd person sort of Rhodey POV because uhhhh i don’t write anything that isn’t 3rd person lmaoooo

James liked to think that he knew Tony Stark pretty damn well at this point.

After all the shit that they’d been through together, he’d learned just about everything there was to learn. Tony was loud, brash, and obnoxious. He was caring, and kind, and breathtakingly smart. He was strong, and he was troubled, and he carried the weight of the world on shoulders clad in iron and steel. He liked late-night crime television and hated watching the news. He liked going for walks or flights late at night. He liked freshly-made sushi and Eye of Aga-Mocha ice cream.

Which should’ve been James’ first clue.

“Rhodey,” Tony called from the living room as James rose from the sofa during a commercial break, “can you bring me the Ben & Jerry’s in the fridge?”

“Sure, Tones,” James called back, opening the freezer.

And there was the face of one Stephen Strange, staring back at him.

Not that it was odd. Tony was a fan of Ben & Jerry’s, James knew that. But it was usually his own flavor that he stocked his freezer with. And yet, here stood a lone pint of Eye of Aga-Mocha.

“The Doctor Strange one?” James asked, picking it up out of the freezer.

A brief hesitation. Embarrassment, maybe? “Uh, yeah.”

“…Okay.”

—————

The second clue was during a training exercise.

James and Tony were sparring, keeping themselves fit and exercising parts of the exoskeleton to ensure that it was working properly. Tony was wearing parts of the suit to match, kicking and catching punches as they worked together. It was going pretty damn well. They had a pretty good rhythm going.

Then Stephen Strange walked into the room.

He was dressed in the traditional training clothes of Kamar-Taj - tight, red, and revealing in all the right places. His arms were bare and flexing as he wrapped his hands, preparing for his own sparring session with one of the Stark tech fight dummies.

Speaking of dummies.

James didn’t notice that Tony wasn’t looking at him anymore. Which is what led to his fist colliding with Tony’s jaw.

The distracted mechanic went down in a heap, drawing Stephen’s gaze from across the room. The doctor looked concerned, striding over quickly to help Tony sit up. Then his eyes went to James.

“Why weren’t you watching?” He asked, his eyes intense.

“Woah, okay, I was doing fine until doe eyes over here - “

“Rhodey, it’s fine,” Tony said quickly, laughing around the quickly forming bruise on his face. “Just a little - slip up, that’s all. We’re fine, doc. Thanks.”

Stephen hesitated before nodding, checking Tony’s eyes briefly with his own before rising, giving both Tony and James an excellent view of his ass in his tight robes.

Tony didn’t stop looking, which meant that he missed James’ stern look.

Stephen Strange, huh?

It was a bit unlike Tony to not go full-out when he was interested in someone. Around Stephen, he seemed almost… shy. It was kinda cute. And also really annoying.

“Hey. Earth to Stark.”

“Yeah huh?”

“Pay attention next time,” James demanded, helping Tony to his feet. “Now, c’mon. It’s my turn for blocks.”

—————

“Tony.”

Nothing.

“Tony!”

Nothing.

“Yo, Tones. Tony!”

Tony’s eyes finally made their way back to James, a dopey sort of grin planted firmly on the other man’s lips. He was still clutching his slowly-melting mozzarella stick, and the grease that James had been trying to keep off of Tony’s pants was sinking into the fabric.

Still he smiled like an idiot.

“Yeah, sugar bear?”

James rolled his eyes, taking the half-eaten monstrosity out of Tony’s hand and tossing it into the basket between them. “You asked me for a guy’s night out, and all you’ve been doing is staring out the window. I’m the guy, this is our night that you asked for. What’s up?”

Tony shook his head, reaching for his drink and having a sip. “Nothing. You’re right, it’s guy’s night, and I’m being - “

“Oh my God.”

Tony looked up at James, innocent confusion coloring his features. “What?”

James was looking less than amused. Much, much less than. About as far from amused as you could get. “We usually meet up at P.J. Clarke’s. The one on third. You like it because - “

“The grill’s hotter there, better burgers,” Tony interjected.

“Yeah,” James said flatly. “But all of a sudden, you wanna mix it up. I don’t say no, I tag along. I wanna see my friend, wanna spend some time with you. Catch up. But you invited me to a goddamn TGI-Friday’s, and it’s right around the corner from Doctor Weird’s magical tiki hut.”

“Sanctum Sanctorum,” Tony murmured into the edge of his glass.

“Don’t start,” James said, crossing his arms and sitting back. “Don’t even start. Tony, man, why don’t you just - ask him out?”

Tony grumbled something unintelligible, looking down into his ice water with something like contempt.

James sighed, patting his back consolingly. “Okay. We don’t have to talk about it anymore. Alright? Not right now. It’s guy’s night. But if you ever do this to me again, no more guy’s nights. Ever. Got me?”

Tony nodded, looking penitent. “Yes, Platypus. I promise.”

“Good. Now, you’ve got a massive spot of grease on your pants, and it’s driving me insane. Clean it up.”

—————

Tony Stark was falling head over heels for one Master of the Mystic Arts, and James had a front-row seat. It was sort of adorable, at times. Tony would find out Stephen was coming to the compound, and he’d clean. He’d order the whole place to be cleaned top to bottom, and then he’d spend nearly an hour in his bathroom making sure he looked alright. He designed new bots for Stephen to fight, and looked for any excuse to talk to the sorcerer.

And it was working out in his favor.

Stephen was opening up. He would come around when Tony invited him, even just for chit-chat over coffee and tea. He thanked him for every improvement made to his sparring bots, and taught him a few meditation techniques in return. They talked shop and watched movies, shared ice cream and ordered takeout. Tony went to the sanctum a few times a week when Stephen was busy, and James assumed they kept up their innocent little flirting game that played out in front of his eyes.

Stephen was good for Tony. He made him happy, and helped him sleep, and made sure he put something in his body besides coffee and protein bars. He took care of him, and respected him, and saw him as someone to be valued. It warmed James’ heart.

And it was, for lack of a better word, adorable.

It was less adorable when James had a front row seat to the flirting and pining really paying off.

There had been a fight. A big one. A sort of rogue wizard’s gang had started up in Central Park, and it had ended up taking more muscle than everyone had thought to put them back down. Stephen had been the hammer, in a way - a massive forcefield spell followed by levitation, collecting them all at once for easier disposal.

But it had taken a lot out of him. He was currently slumped over on his knees, coughing hard as the magic convulsed through his body and made its way out.

Tony was roughed up, too. He’d taken quite a few blasts of energy directly to the chest, and his armor was broken and twitching as it tried to patch the holes back up. But he didn’t seem to care about that. He only had eyes for the doctor.

“Tony, you need to sit down,” James warned, coming over to try to stop his friend. “Your chest, Tones - “

“I’m fine,” Tony wheezed, pulling out of War Machine’s grip. “I’m fine. I gotta - I just - Steph - “

Stephen looked up as Tony came over, wiping a bit of blood away from his lips. Tony fell to his knees, his hands coming to cup Stephen’s cheeks. James couldn’t hear anything they were saying, but all of a sudden they were kissing, pressed desperately up against one another as the supers around them began to pick up the pieces.

James just watched for a bit before realizing what he was doing. He looked away, ignoring the desperate breathy sounds that Tony and Stephen were making as they pawed at one another. Finally, they pulled apart, their foreheads resting together as they breathed, in and out.

“You two done?” James called, turning to look at them again. “Jesus, Tony, you’ve done this to me twice, now, man.”

Tony chuckled weakly, resting against Stephen, their arms twined around one another. “Sorry, honey. Can’t help myself sometimes.”

“Well, I was getting sick of watching you two fawn over each other anyway,” James said, waving Tony off. “You guys need a ride?”

Stephen shook his head, his eyes glued to Tony’s face, his entire countenance light and airy as he held the man of his dreams in his arms. “I’ve got it. We just - need a few more minutes.”

“Yeah,” Tony laughed, kissing Stephen’s cheek. “We’re just gonna sit here and make out. You don’t need to hang around.”

“Alright. But I’m gonna give you the obligatory ‘fuck with Tony and you fuck with me’ speech later,” James warned the sorcerer.

He got a small smile back from the doctor, and a nod of the head. “Of course. I’d expect nothing less.”

James smiled, flipping his visor down and taking to the air.

He loved Tony. He was his best friend, and he wanted nothing but the best for him.

Stephen Strange was damn lucky he was the best.

So far.

[tmarie82]

Best Christmas Ever

Pairing: Damien x MC (Camille Park)

Book: Perfect Match (Future)

Word Count: ~2,300

Rating:  PG

Author’s Note:  Camille Park is definitely my spirit animal … the girl loves the holidays, enjoys a good pun and she has excellent taste in Damien men.  This is a little fluffy holiday fic that also documents a very special occasion for Damien and Cami.  I hope you enjoy. 😚

This also is my first submission for @dancetothestoriesinyoursoul’s wonderful idea for Fluffy Friday and fulfills a very old fic request.

Please let me know if you would like to be added to my tag list.  You can find all of my fics in my Masterlist on my homepage.

~~~~~~~~~~

“A little to the left … no, too far!” Camille spouted out commands to her live-in boyfriend, eliciting a muffled groan of frustration from Damien as he adjusted the tree on its base in their tiny New York apartment living room.  “Okay, steady … perfect!” Camille bounced up and down excitedly clapping her hands when Damien shifted the tree to just the right angle, centering it perfectly in the corner of their soon-to-be extremely festive room.  “Ah, it looks great, D!”  She sidled up against his side when he finally stood upright to observe his handiwork, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he admired the seven-foot fir tree he’d just lugged up three flights of stairs.  

“Yeah, it doesn’t look half bad.”  He released a long exhale of relief, thankful to finally have a moment to relax after their strenuous morning.  Although it was still November, Camille always insisted on beginning their Christmas preparations on the Saturday following Thanksgiving.  So the pair had woken up at 6am to drive to the Christmas tree lot just outside the city (thankfully making a pit stop at the coffee shop to get caffeine for the extremely groggy non-morning person Damien first), then spent over an hour marching up and down the rows of freshly delivered fir trees until Cami found the “perfect one.”  After trekking back into the city with the tree fastened to the top of Damien’s car Griswold-family-style, carrying it up to their apartment (with little help from the petite Camille, but don’t tell her that!), then twenty minutes of situating the tree in their living room … well, it wasn’t even lunch time yet and Damien was already exhausted.  While he thought Camille’s extreme affinity for the holiday season was adorable, he sometimes missed the days when he had been able to enjoy her holiday spirit as an observer and not a key contributor.  

“Yes, it really does …” Camille beamed up at the lush green tree, a wide smile of childlike awe spread across her face, “just think how gorgeous it’s gonna look after you string the lights on it!”

“Yeah, I bet it will be- wait, what?!?  After I string the lights?”  Damien shook his head in dismay as he realized what Camille had just said.  “Why am I stringing the lights?”

“Well I have to go bake the gingerbread to make the gingerbread house, so … “ Camille gave him a nonchalant look and a shrug, before jutting out a hip and tilting her head defiantly.  “Unless you’d like to do the baking …” she asked in a mocking tone.

Damien grumbled again, his face falling into a scowl. “No … I’ll do it.”  He let out a long sigh, turning to go retrieve the box of twinkling lights from the top shelf in their hall closet.  He returned a few minutes later, arms filled with a worn cardboard box full of Christmas lights, to an empty room.  The sounds of Camille clanking around in the kitchen signaled to him that he was officially on his own in this endeavor.  He sighed before opening the box of lights, begrudgingly pulling out a tangled mass of wires and bulbs.   “Cami?”  He called to the kitchen, studying the jumbled mess with a frown.  She poked her head around the corner as she tied an apron around her waist, eyebrows raised in question.  “Check out this tangled mess!  Do I really have to do the lights today?  I mean, what’s the rush?”  He dangled the ball of wires and chaos in her direction, making his most pathetic pleading face at her.

Camille grunted and stomped over to where her boyfriend was whining, grabbing the lights from him and quickly weaving them untangled with her tiny hands.  After a few short minutes, she handed him back rows of neatly folded string lights with a satisfied look on her face, then cocked her hip and folded her arms across her chest.  “Of course we need to do the lights today, Damien.  You can’t half-ass Christmas!  Now stop complaining and get to work so we can actually enjoy this, you curmudgeon!!!”  

Damien’s eyes widened at his girlfriend’s playful outburst.  “Sorry, a Kermit the wha???”

Cami chuckled, leaning forward while waggling a finger at him before poking him in the chest.  “I said a curmudgeon!  Cur-mudg-eon.” She repeated, exaggeratedly slow.  “You know, a huge grump, a crusty old miser … like the Grinch.  Do you want to be a grinch, D?”  She quirked her brows at him, waiting for his reply with a coy smirk on her lips.

“Uhhhh …” Damien fumbled, dropping his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.  “No, I guess not.”  

“Good.”  Cami replied in a sing-song voice, a smug smile pulling at her lips.  She raised up on her tip-toes and placed a single kiss to his cheek with a loud smack.  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go finish this gingerbread while you work on the lights.”  She turned on her heel and skipped back to the kitchen.

Damien watched as the bouncy blonde sashayed away, unable to fight the triumphant smirk tugging the corners of his mouth upwards.  “Curmudgeon, indeed.”  He mumbled with a low chuckle before turning back to the task at hand.

~~~

An hour and a half, two beers and a tuna fish sandwich later, Damien stood back to survey the glistening Christmas tree.  Despite the rocky start, the time had surprisingly flown by quicker than he’d expected.  It definitely helped that Cami had started busting out lyrics to her favorite Christmas tunes, singing along to the music and swaying to the rhythm as she stirred and rolled and then proceed to clean up her gingerbread.  The beer helped too, but the occasional peek of his giddy holiday-loving girlfriend in the kitchen gave him a happy sense of pride in his work.  Damn if that woman didn’t bring out the goofy side of him … and make him enjoy it along the way.

He heard the clatter of a pan and slamming of the oven door in the background before the soft footsteps approached.  “Oh wow …” he heard Camille murmur as she came up behind him, tucking her arm into his as she stared at the tree.  “Great job, Detective … are you ready to decorate now?”

Damien groaned audibly, glancing over his shoulder to the couch calling his name.  “I’m guessing that can’t wait until tomorrow?”

“Damien …” Camille’s voice dipped as she gave him a look.  The look.

“Alright, alright … I kind of figured.”  He exhaled a long sigh.  “I went ahead and grabbed all the ornaments anyway, just in case.”  

“See, you know the routine.  But nice try anyway.”  Camille gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a wink before she started digging through the boxes of ornaments sitting on the coffee table.  

“You know, I think I’m gonna need another beer for this.”  Damien tried to escape to the kitchen swiftly, but was caught by a hand on his forearm before he could make it.

“Absolutely not … I got us some egg nog.  You can’t drink beer while you trim the Christmas tree.”

“But Cami-“ Damien started to argue.

“And I got you a big bottle of spiced rum to go with it.”  Camille gave him a knowing grin.  

Damien chuckled deep in his throat, nodding his head in assent.  “Fine, deal … it’s almost like you know me or something.”

The pair worked together to hang all their ornaments, Camille continuing to sing along to the Christmas carols and both of them drinking several glasses of egg nog along the way.  By the end of their decorating, they were both feeling the holiday spirit in more ways than one.  After hanging the last ornament, Camille took a step back and nestled into Damien’s arms as they gave their finished product a once-over.  She let out a breath slowly, her jaw opened wide in amazement.  “D, it looks amazing!”

Damien grinned proudly as he glanced over to her beside him, his heart warming at the sight of her eyes sparkling as they reflected the lights.  “Yeah … not bad if I do say so myself.  But I think we can do better.”

Cami furrowed her brow in confusion and looked over to him.  “What?  What are you talking about?  It looks great.”

He gave her an amused look, gesturing towards the top of the tree, bare and unadorned.  “You forgot the best part, didn’t you?”  

Her mouth formed a tight “O” as it dawned on her.  “Of course, the star!  Will you help me put it on?”  She scurried over to the last remaining box, Damien’s eyes following intently as she delicately unwrapped the layers of tissue paper.  When she reached the last layer and tugged it away, delving her hand into the box- “Hhh!”  she gasped, tugging her hand away quickly as if frightened.  She stood still for a moment, her gaze never leaving the contents hidden in the shadows of the box.  Finally, she dipped her hand back in and curled her fingers around the tiny blue velvet box, holding it precariously in the palm of her hand as she swiveled to face him.  “Damien?”  Her eyes, filled with hope and shock and a joy unlike anything he’d ever seen before, flitted upwards to meet his.

Damien stepped forward nervously, his heart beating loudly in his chest.  He had pictured this moment so many times in his mind, never a doubt in his mind since the first moment his lips had met hers almost two years ago … but now that it was here, now that it was actually happening, it was more intense than he could have imagined.  “I hope you like it.”  That was all he could think to say as he reached into her hand to grip the small box, prying open the lid to expose a modest engagement ring.  

Camille didn’t respond, just exhaled softly while she processed the gravity of this moment.  She studied the ring, a simple princess cut solitaire on a white gold band embedded with tiny diamonds along the sides … perfectly classic, perfectly her, perfectly them.  “Damien, I … I …” she shook her head, trying to focus her fleeting thoughts until one obscure thought nestled into her conscious mind.  “But, you were being such a grump today?” She asked quizzically, still unsure how this day had taken such a turn.  

Damien’s head fell back as he laughed, a deep rumbling laugh that made Camille giggle in return.  “Yes, well … I had to keep you on your toes, you know.  I wanted this to be a surprise.”  He grinned wide, relieved to see a relaxed smile on her face.

“You definitely surprised me!” She chuckled, nudging him roughly on the shoulder.  “And here I was giving you shit about being a curmudgeon!”

Damien caught her hand and pulled her close, wrapping his other arm around her lower back.  “Well I guess now you’ll just have to call me Curmudgeon Claus …” he smirked and dipped his head, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss.  Camille snaked one hand around his neck, lacing her fingers in his hair as the other one held tightly to the blue velvet box nestled between them.

Damien stopped mid-kiss, arching his neck to peer down at her face.  “So was that a yes?”

Camille giggled happily, pulling him down to press his forehead against hers, her eyes closed as she basked in the beauty of this moment.  “I don’t think I ever heard a question.”

Damien guffawed, stepping back with an embarrassed smile on his face as he ran his hand across his jaw.  “Right, you’re right.”  He reached down to grasp the box from her hand, retrieving the ring between his thumb and index finger before tucking the box in his pocket.  He stepped forward and held the ring directly in front of her face, ducking his head to gaze into her eyes and tracing her cheekbone softly with the thumb of his other hand.  “Camille Park, I never in a million years thought I’d be lucky enough to find one person I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.  But when I met you, I knew I had met my match and I never wanted to let you go.  Will you do me the great honor of being my wife?”  

Camille placed her hand on top of his, nuzzling her face against the palm of his hand as the happy tears began welling in her eyes.  “Damien Nazario, there is nothing in this world that would make me happier than being your wife.”  She let out a gleeful sob and felt the tears begin falling down her cheeks as Damien released a relieved laugh.  They both watched in awe as he slid the ring onto her left hand, beaming at each other before he reached down to wrap his arms tightly around her in a warm embrace.  He picked her up and twirled her around, the joyous sound of their laughter mingling with the chords of “White Christmas” playing in the background.

When he finally set her down, after tucking a loose strand of blond hair behind her ear and gently pressing his lips to her temple, he leaned back to observe her basking in the afterglow.  “So what now?”

Camille shrugged, her light eyes dancing with glee.  “I don’t know, honestly. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.  But for now … “ she nodded towards the empty treetop, “I think you owe me a star and a boost.”

“Yes ma’am.”  Damien said with a wink.  It may still only be November, but this was already the best Christmas ever.

END

~~~~~~~~~~

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[turtle-steverogers]

Happy Fucking Halloween

I meant to post this earlier, but i forgot. Anyway, enjoy some disaster boys on Halloween. Kinda late now, but whatever.

Also these boys have a singular brain cell between them- they trade it off

Also this isn’t edited but it’s fine

Can you spot the vine reference? yeet

Ship: Ralbert

Warning: THEYRE HIGH AGAIN (can you tell i have fun writing them high?)

“HAPPY HALLOWEEN, ASSHOLE,” Race nearly threw his phone in surprise when his boyfriend, Albert, bust into his bedroom wearing a skeleton onesie.

“Babe, it’s only been Halloween for like,” he glanced at the clock, which read 12:02 am, “Two minutes.”

“Exactly,” Albert said, hopping onto Race’s bed, a manic glint in his eye, “We’re wasting time.”

“Wasting time to do what?”

“C’mon, get up,” Albert tugged at his arm, pulling him into a sitting position, “I wanna go ghost hunting.”

“You wanna- wait, what?”

“Ghost hunting. I wanna do it. It’s the spookiest day of the year, I wanna make the most of it.”

“Where exactly do you intend to do this?” Race asked, picking up his sweatshirt off the floor and pulling it over his head.

“There’s a cemetery not far off campus, so I was thinking we’d start there?”

“Okay. Sure, what am I gonna do? Say no?” Race said, throwing his hands up.

Albert grinned, “That’s the spooky spirit. Lemme just get something from my room, then we’ll go,” he launched himself off of Race’s bed and sprinted out of the room. Race chuckled to himself and grabbed his shoes from beside his door before heading out to the living room. He sat down on the floor and slipped on his sneakers. A few more minutes passed, then Albert slid out of his room and across their wood floor in a pair of ghost slippers, nearly falling into Race in the process. He had put the hood of his onesie up and a drawstring bag was secured on his back. What was in the bag, Race didn’t wanna know. But, he assumed he’d find out either way.

“Okay,” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together, “Let’s go.”

The walk to the cemetery was shorter than Race had anticipated and soon enough, they were climbing the polished wooden fence that surrounded it. The cemetery itself had a mix of older and newer looking graves. If Race squinted, he could make out the outline of an old building near the back and he had a feeling that’s where Albert wanted to go. Albert swung his drawstring bag around to his front and pulled out a flashlight. He clicked it on and held it under his chin as he continued to rummage through the bag.

“Fuck,” He murmured, “I coulda sworn I’d packed my- aha!” With a triumphant flourish, he pulled out a small pen-like object.

“Albert,” He groaned, “You brought your dab pen? Seriously? I don’t think we should be getting high in here.”

Albert studied him for a moment, then took a long drag, “So you have the brain cell today. Interesting.”

Race let out an offended squawk, “Excuse me, I always have the brain cell.”

“Debatable,” Albert held the dab pen out for Race, who scowled before taking it from him. He inhaled deeply, holding it in his lungs for a moment to allow the weed to process in his system.

They traded the pen back and forth several more times before Albert stowed it back into his bag. Race began to giggle as the weed took affect. Albert loosely grabbed his arm, pulling him between graves as they made their way to the building in the back.

“Albie,” Race said, sounding out each syllable, “What the fuck is that building. It looks so spooky,” he giggled again.

“I dunno, Race,” Albert slurred as they approached the front door, “But you’re so right it does look fuckin’ spooky, brah!”

Race blinked a few times as his eyes started to dry out. His mouth felt like it was filled with cotton and he smacked his lips a few times, “M’mouth is all funny.”

“Itsa kissable mouth,” Albert turned towards him and grabbed his face, kissing him sloppily.

“Albert, no,” Race said, pushing him away, “No kissing. Not here.”

Albert furrowed his brow, then nodded, “Yeah. No kissing, brah,” He paused, then pouted, “I don’t like that I keep saying brah. Makes me feel like a surfer dude.”

“Aha! Sahhh dude,” Race laughed.

“Sahh, dude- AH!”

Both of them jumped as a loud thump came from within the house. It sounded like it was coming from the loft.

“Ah, fuck,” Albert said, pointing the flashlight in the direction that the sound came from, “The ghosts are here.”

“Albieeeeee, I don’t wanna dieee. Can we leave?” Race whined, trying to tug Albert away from the house.

“No,” Albert said, determination in his unfocused eyes, “I wanted to hunt ghosts. We’re hunting ghosts.”

“You owe me,” Race said, glaring at Albert.

“Owe you what?”

“I dunno, something good.”

“I’ll suck your dick later.”

Race lit up, “Okay! Let’s go hunt ghosts!”

Albert shouldered open the door and the two of them tiptoed inside. It was dark and mostly empty. It looked like it had once been some sort of storage building, but had long since been abandoned- no doubt a result of the graveyard being built around it.

“Where to?” Race whispered loudly.

“Uhhhh,” Albert scanned the room until his light landed on a flight of stairs near one corner, “There.”

The stairs creaked violently as they half-walked, half-stumbled up towards the second floor. The next level was also empty, save for a small ladder leading to the loft in one corner and a heap of wood by a window. It looked like the wood had been tampered with. There were planks scattered messily around the initial pile and upon closer inspection, they found skeletons of small mammals strewn across the floor.

“The fuck?” Albert wrinkled his nose.

Race shrugged, his eyelids drooping heavily as he bent down to pick at a mouse skeleton, “I dunno, man,” He laughed and shoved the skeleton in Albert’s face, causing him to go crossed eyed, “Oh my fuckin’ god, she fuckin’ dead.”

Albert reached out and flicked his forehead, “Dumbass.”

“Hey! You said I have the brain cell, you-”

Before he could finish, something dropped out of the loft, hissing at them loudly. Albert and Race screamed, backing into the wall as the creature advanced towards them.

“Albie, ohmygod,” Race half-shouted, half-sobbed,”We’re gonna die! Fuck, we’re gonna die and you didn’t even get to suck my dick!”

Albert was trying to climb onto the pile of wood as he screamed, “What the fuck, Race. What the fuck is that- it looks like Spot!”

The thing kept lumbering towards them, slowly gaining speed, “I don’t know!” Race shouted, “Throw something at it!”

Albert picked up a plank of wood, throwing aimlessly in the direction of the animal. It landed loudly a few feet away from the animal and for a moment, it was distracted. It changed course, waddling instead towards the wood and Albert and Race took the opportunity to scramble off the pile towards the stairs. As they passed the animal, Albert shone his light on it. It was a fucking badger.

They didn’t stop running until they reached the fence. Climbing the fence while sober was one thing, but climbing it while high was a different story completely. It took them several attempts and more than a few scrapes, but eventually they landed unsteadily on the other side, panting heavily.

“The fuck was that?” Race asked, collapsing on the grass and draping an arm across his eyes.

“A fucking, uh, badger,” Albert answered, “The stripey head things.”

“You have a stripey head.”

“Take that back, motherfucker.”

“No.”

They caught their breath for a few more minutes, then began the journey back to campus. When they returned, it was a little passed 1:30 am. They buzzed into their dorm building, only to be met by Jack and Spot leaving.

“Race? Al?” Jack asked, “We were just aboutta go look for y’all. You weren’t in your dorm when we came to get you for Elmer’s Halloween thing, so we figured you’d gone to do something stupid.”

“And it looks like we were right,” Spot raised his eyebrows, taking in the two boys in front of him, “Are you two high?”

Race fixed him with a dazed look, “A fucking badger, Spot. A fucking badger.”

Spot cocked his head, eyes narrowing in confusion, “What?”

Albert snickered, “It looked like you, Spottie.”

“You two are so fucked,” Jack said, shaking his head.

Race chuckled and leaned into Albert’s side, “Happy Halloween, queens. Happy fucking Halloween.”

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