#uhhh idk how else to tag this. ???
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whatever it takes
#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#davrin#death tw#blood tw#suicide tw#lmk if i need to tag anything else please#i was uhhh going through some stuff when i made this like a month ago but i liked how it turned out so i wanted to post it 👍#is this too much for a video game i think is kinda mid overall? perhaps#i have a lot of irks with one of davrin's endings idk#something about how if you make this choice#that means the issue at weisshaupt wasn't lucanis being out of sync with spite#it was that davrin (who lost everything at weisshaupt) didn't sacrifice himself hard enough#davrin would give everything to a world that looks down on him
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kiss kiss!!!! <33333
~kink/nsfw blogs dni please!!!~
#again i do not support viv///ziepop. but i am only so strong#hazbin hotel tickle#tickle art#my art#lee!husk#ler!angel dust#huskerdust#<<< might delete that tag later . out of shame#uhhh idk how else to tag this. ???#i might post more hh art soon well see. :P#OH OH OH IF UR READING THIS GO FOLLOW @FIZZBOT (if u want)#its my hh/hb reblog/critical blog lol
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hiya. bit of a personal post here that's been a long time coming but
a while back now my younger sibling finally got an issue properly diagnosed as a lung disease and as such, she requires a double lung transplant - my family is asking for help through this gofundme page here. it'd mean the world to me if y'all help her out in one way or another, be it donating any amount or just reblogging this post around so that others might
a lil more detail on things under the cut
basically she'd had this persistent cough for a while and tho she'd gone to the doctor a few times about it, they wrote it off each time as allergies or something stupid without really looking at her - until a few months ago now when she finally went to urgent care, then to a proper emergency room and they discovered that her lungs were essentially ruined. idk if they ever discerned by what exactly but it doesn't really matter at this point as her breathing is heavily restricted and her heart is kinda working overtime
the good news is that she's been on oxygen for a bit and she's also on the waitlist for the transplant already - but the call for it can come at basically anytime between now and next year, meaning my family kinda has to stay ready at a moment's notice which is what this gofundme is for - to help them now, when the time comes, and afterwards, as the situation is as u can imagine very stressful and demanding of all of us, especially of her
but she's been brave, strong. and she hasn't deserved any of this, given just how good a person she is. how much she's tried to help others, to do for others, to keep our family together. I honestly have no idea how she's kept her smile up for as long as she has and I've struggled with making this post in large part bc of how paintful it's been to see her go thru that which she never asked for, that she truly doesn't deserve. she's struggled, it's been hard, but she's still going all the same
so I feel it my responsibility to at least try and help her out beyond the day to day odds and ends and perhaps use whatever audience I somehow have to lend her a hand as she needs it most. so again please if you are in a position where u can donate - consider dropping some at this link here, any amount helps right now and even if u can't, reblogging to get the word around would help a bit too
thank u to those of u who read this and donate or even just share the post/link around - I truly, deeply appreciate any help my family can get
#needed to make this post for a while but i just. struggled with how to do it yanno#gofundme#fundrasier#uhhh idk what else to tag this as
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very rough harv sketch…..
#expect more of them#harvey dent#two face#twoface#dc#dcu#batman#hqbitverse#my art#character deisgn#uhhh idk how else to tag this
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OH YES HERE ARE THESE TOO! these were my entries for two DTIYS
one for kit's and one for laura's, both on ye olde instagrammers.
posting them here bc im mega epic proud of both. and thus, you all must suffer and see it as well.
tagging people is scary so i am not going to tag either of them akshfdja
#the band ghost#my art#art#ghost band fanart#the band ghost art#the band ghost fanart#ghost bc#the band ghost bc fanart#ghost bc fanart#ghost fanart#erm#cardinal copia#terzo#papa emeritus iii#papa emeritus 3#papa emeritus terzo#papa iii#what else to tag#I HATE DRAWING BOOMBOXES#ermm#uhhh#sinning with art#meliora grand#alpha ghoul#omega ghoul#nameless ghouls#nameless ghoul#IDK WHAT ELSE TO TAG IM STRESSIN OVER HERE#HOW TO TUMBLR???????????? HELLAUR???????????? OUGH
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We should start asking allos if they're sure they want to get married or if they're sure that they want to have kids in the same way they ask us if we're sure we don't want to date or have kids.
"are you sure you want to marry them? What if they're not the right person?" "Are you sure you want kids? What if you regret it later? Never say never!"
Married people get divorced all the time because they changed their minds but we don't talk down on them for getting married.
Allo people regret having children all the time and some aren't even ready for them at all and yet we don't question them when they say they want kids or are going to have kids.
Someone not wanting kids or to get married might be a phase but honestly YOU can mind your own business because it is none of your business if they decide to have kids or date later on. What matters now is how they feel in the moment, not how they hypothetically could feel in the future. Support them NOW. Don't push them towards a future that you want them to want. It's their life, not yours, so step the fuck out of those shoes because they don't belong to you.
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ok idea. what if we gave stories a free pass for one or two plot holes. "this story thread had a big hole in it" ok good to know, that must not be the main point of the story since it's got plot holes. they must have put their attention on what they thought was the important part. time to look closer at the other parts
#uhhh idk how to explain this idea right#but like....i think stories should be allowed to have mistakes. for a treat#it's like in tv shows when they had to save the budget for the final so there's reused costumes for los stake episodes#can't think of a single story thats perfect. wouldn't change anything. literally can't make a story with no flaws#sometimes the easy way around the flaw is just 'you gotta ignore that. that's not the point of the story.'#i feel like some stuff if you try and stop to explain it...it will change the focus of the story. suddenly it's a new story#like inception. entering and creating dreams is just a thing. the story just uses it. stop to explain how or why and that's something else#there wouldn't be space for the og story itd be a story about the creation of this thing#and like. listen. there are definitely some big plot holes. some poorly written stories. not saying bad stories are just misunderstood#but idk. i think you gotta stop wanting it to be flawless. that's never gonna happen#idk it's midnight hm#text#august rambles#also i tried to move a tag and it didn't work. so if the order of things doesn't make sense that's why#critical analysis hater spotted eek!#no but actually. i do like picking apart problems in stories and figuring out why it feels wrong or how to fix it#but it's almost like you gotta pick your battles. you only get to fix a few#or like. if the story is fine except for this one thing. we just don't look at that#the holes are giving it room to breathe#i gotta stop talking yikes
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just now realizing i never actually posted this so! chapter art from ch6 of my fic the idiot's guide to blindfold chess! only [checks notes] like two weeks late </3
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#leo#rottmnt leo#my art#fic art#idiots guide#WHAT WAS MY TAGGING SYSTEM EVEN!!!! this happens EVERY time#y'all swords are so hard to draw good </3 if there's issues no there aren't#uhhh what else what else. idk. again this happens every time idk how to sign off lmao
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Uhhh here u go vat7k fanart to start the year!!!
Sorry it looks so messy it was supposed to be a lil sketch but it got out of hand very quickly
CLOSE UPS
#varian and the seven kingdoms#varian tts#varian vat7k#nuru vat7k#vat7k hugo#hugo the human#hugo rottewange#how many names does this guy have#yong vat7k#i drew something#vat7k fanart#I really should learn to do things in their own drawings instead of putting 6 drawings in the same canvas but I never learn#hugo is surprisingly fun to draw if you ignore his damn hair#Yes it's been a year since i started posting regularly and I still have problems with drawing hair#what about it#ok that sounded mean srry#uhhh anyways. u know back in 2020/21 i liked the vat7k concept but never got too into it until recently#i still wanted to make fanart for it but never did till now#so this was fun. sorry about the blinding color palletes ig i was messing around with the ibis paint filters again and this happened#uhh idk what else to say i be acting like some damn youtuber on the tags#cringe but it is what it is#OH I FORGOT#ruddiger tts#olivia vat7k#is that even a tag? idk it is now ig
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hi hi hi hi I found out about Hal Jordan TODAY and am going so autistic over him it’s insane can you please give me a rundown on what his deal is I think you’re the Tumblr Green Lantern guy
omg hi, insane compliment btw, tysm! i'm glad to give you a rundown!! also definitely check out @katmaatui for more hal info, red is SUPER knowledgable abt him. @rillette, @catboyollie, @halcarols, @starsapphire and @yellowcorps (along with so many others that i cant think to tag off the top of my head) have some great hal takes too! (edited the post just to tag more ppl)
apologies if this is a bit rushed/messy, i'm doing this while i smelt stone in minecraft LMAO
that being said... i think this will be a long one, so more below the cut :3
(cw for light mentions of pedophilia, abuse, canon typical violence)
okay, so hal jordan is the first human green lantern of the GREEN LANTERN CORPS. it's important to note that there was technically a human green lantern before him (alan scott, originally from earth two/the justice society, but integrated into main DC canon after crisis), but his power comes from a different source- which is a whole different ballpark that would take ages to explain, lol, so i'll move on from that.
hal was originally introduced in a showcase issue in 1959, but ended up getting a solo run in the mid 60s because of his showcase issues doing well. he's been a test pilot, middle brother, compassionate, rule follower (although being surprisingly liberal for the time) with an interesting relationship with star sapphire carol ferris since those first appearances. for the first 20 odd years of his appearances we had no information on his parents, but we got a lot from other family members, such as uncle titus, cousin hal jr (aka airwave), younger brother jim jordan and older brother jack jordan. through the 60s and 70s those members of his family were developed along with him; with the audience learning that jim's wife sue thought jim was green lantern, rather than hal, and hal himself training his cousin, hal jr.
the most known version of how hal got the ring in the first place is probably based off of geoff john's rewrite in the mid 00s, reiterating the original story of abin sur crashing onto earth and dying, leaving hal with his ring to be trained by sinestro and the rest of the glc, while also changing miniscule details that had been developed in emerald dawn 1 & 2 (which was released in the 90s, more on that later). the main premise of abin sur's crash has stayed the same, but the story around hal's current life, job, family and stability keep changing. for instance, the original comic with abin sur in showcase only showed hal getting the ring, the guardians choosing him. the first rewrite i can think of was emerald dawn volume 1, published in 1989 and continued in emerald dawn v2 (1991). here we get the classic hal watches his father die in a plane crash with carol ferris beside him as a pre adolescent, and some of the biggest implications of the mistreatment from his father. we also get introduced to hal, despite his stick to the rules, straight edge attitude, making some serious mistakes and putting people in danger and even death- with the implication of alcohol abuse. the audience HAS known hal used to be in the air force since sometime in the late 60s or early 70s (sorry, i don't remember the exact issue!), but emerald dawn shows us that hal's moved on from the air force and into test piloting, and that his mother keeps having to bail him out for making mistakes. emerald dawn vol 1 shows the abin sur moment, followed by fights that cost hal's friends life, and is followed up by sinestro training hal in emerald dawn vol 2, where we get to see the iconic scenes of hal finding out about sinestro and his... dictatorship.
along with that; how the guardians and rings are treated and hal and the glc's perception of them is vastly changed over time. in the early days of gl in the 60s, the guardians were really never to be seen. hal was repeatedly summoned to them and then had his memory almost fully wiped- only leaving a vague notion of his orders. the guardian's called hal to them at seemingly the worst times, ending up with him almost getting injured, getting in trouble at work, and even ending up jobless and homeless. the chaos of being a green lantern has been around the WHOLE time, but originally, the green lanterns didnt really... fight it. the guardian's were their masters (and even father figures, to hal) and not to be questioned. the rings in the 60s were also much more powerful, despite the yellow weakness (the yellow weakness is the notion that from about the 60s to the mid 90s the green lantern rings were completely unable to be used against anything yellow). time travel, phasing, teleporting, etc were all very viable and common things- as well as forceful shapeshifting, invisibility, mind control, mind reading, etc etc. these days, writers have dampened these powers down to mostly shooting light and constructs.
okay, it's parallax time. the emerald twilight arc from the mid 90s wasn't an arc that was as thoroughly planned out over a long period of time as it probably should have been. a lot of fans at the time (and even now) hated what happened there, and claimed it ruined hal's character entirely. i can understand why! but, at it's core, the parallax arc is a story about a broken man pushed to the limit, fully grieving his home and family (originally, he lost his brother jim in the destruction of coast city, along with a lot of other family members) and being goddamn fed up with how his "masters" treated him and the rest of the corps. the so called "perfect lantern" (no, he wasn't that much of a rebel, despite what johns wants you to think) snapped and essentially tried to gain as much power as he could to bring back coast city. when the guardians stripped him of his powers so he couldn't, hal became enraged and took down every lantern in his path, just to get to the guardians and that power. long story short, he kills the guardians and absorbs all the energy from the central power battery on oa, becoming parallax- essentially a god. this marks the start of zero hour, an event made by dc to restructure and reset; giving the comics a new generation of heroes. hal destroys the world and remakes it, but is ultimately taken down by kyle rayner, the new green lantern, with the help of the jla, jsa and associates. there are a few more run ins with parallax after this, before kyle convinces parallax/hal that he can make up for all of this by reigniting the sun after it went out- aka killing himself. hal does it, is stuck in limbo for awhile and then becomes the spectre to continue to make up for the horrible things he did as parallax. the spectre is the spirit of god's wrath and vengeance, a weapon used to drag sinners to their very own, self made hells, and scare the shit out of people. the spectre, from it's very first appearance, is a ghost like spirit that takes on a host, and is primarily described using christian terms and is used in a very... christian ideology. HOWEVER, the spectre 2001 confirms that hal is jewish (jewish mom, catholic dad) and that belief system, plus his personality as a whole, literally makes him change the spirit of vengeance into the spirit of redemption, for at least as long as they are bonded. the whole parallax to spectre arc is about grief, pain, cycles of abuse and terror, redemption and guilt. it is NOT about a fear bug that possess hal. (im so serious though, the spectre 2001 is one of the best comics ive ever read. amazing. changed my world view) but... geoff johns changed all of it, decanonized the spectre, and ruined the legacy of parallax and hal's growth as a person by releasing green lantern: rebirth in 2004/2005. this retcons hal's breakdown and journey through grief into him BEING POSSESSED BY AN ENTITY CONTROLLED BY SINESTRO THAT FULLY CHANGES PREVIOUS GREEN LANTERN CANON AND IMPLICATIONS. also, fucks up the importance of kyle becoming ion, but whatever. geoff johns writes hal (and even more so, carol) so very wrong, and change their stories so vastly in ways that go against the stories very meanings.
SIGH.
now... time to get started on some rougher stuff. hal jordan misconceptions. i'm saving that arc for last.
- hal jordan wasn't much of a rule breaker or rebel until the 70s/80s, where he BEGAN (very slowly, mind you) to be radicalized by oliver queen during denny o'neil's green lantern/green arrow. hal was painted as more of a conservative during this period (which, admittedly, kind of goes against previous canon... he's always been relatively central to liberal, not to any extremes like ollie though, lol) but gets more and more understanding of how power structures work and how lower classes are mistreated during this time- which ends up opening his eyes a bit to how shitty the guardians are. (this is helped by the guardians literally just. leaving. the green lanterns and kind of disbanding them so they can go fuck the zamarons, lmao). geoff johns tried to change this narrative into making hal a very... maverick-from-top-gun type of character, who punched his way out of the military (when, in reality, the original story during emerald knights in the late 90s was that hal had been framed for stealing a jet and was dishonorably discharged, which he took the punishment for because he knew someone had to) and hits on women constantly and gets ladies and allat (which, funnily enough hal was awful at getting carol to like him for a long time, since carol fell for green lantern rather than hal. not to mention the awkwardness of carol's proposals or hal's many, many failed relationships). hal has always been insecure and lowkey boyfailure, he is NOT a top gun maverick tom cruise sorta guy! fuck you jeremy adams!
- hes not that much of an idiot asshole. hal can be a real dick, he's had that going for him since the beginning, but he isn't what you read in batfam fics. he's not stupid and shouldn't be the laughingstock of the justice league. i assume this idea started from the obsession with batfam and the fact that the jla has quite the history of ignoring hal and his issues (as well as. all of their issues. theyre not so great at work life balance), but it's gone too far. hal isn't making fun of the robins and pissing bruce off bc of that. hal isnt fooling around on the job 24/7 (he takes being a gl and pilot VERY seriously, although he does enjoy some danger and high stakes) or slacking off to get girls. again. not top gun maverick.
- hal has not been a creep since the beginnings. hal was not weird with carol in the 60s. things were weird between them, yeah, but that's based off circumstance and the craziness of star sapphire and green lantern. he was NOT being horribly sleazy! i hate that i even need to say this, but i see this take too much not to
- going off of what was said above, lets discuss the arisia arc. if you want to be a real hal fan, this is unfortunately something you need to know about. in action comics, after crisis and the guardians left to go fuck the zamarons, most of the green lanterns fell apart and seperated. a small group went to earth- led by hal and consisting of hal, john stewart, katma tui, kilowog, salaakk, ch'p and arisia rrab. (also sometimes guy gardner, but that's complicated) previously to this arc, hal treated 14 year old arisia like a beloved little sister, welcoming her and leading her into the corps just like everyone else. things started to change once the timeline gets closer and closer to crisis, where arisia starts showing that she has a crush on hal (who is roughly 30s at this point). any advances made by arisia are shut down by hal at the beginning, because she's a child. now, it's unfortunately a common thing to just call hal a "pedophile" because of what happens in this arc- but it really isn't that simple. still weird and icky, but definitely not to the degree of which some fans like to act like it is- esp to attack hal fans for, which is... an odd choice regarding how many fucked up things every character (esp male characters) did back in the day. arisia ends up using her power ring to artifically age herself up, making her body AND MIND into that of a young adult (the comic makes this very clear). once this happens... hal stops rejecting her. they get together, they kiss. the only person in the group of green latnerns who actually has an issue with it is john (salaakk is meh about it, but he just doesn't like human-esque romance no matter what), and katma even directly encourages their relationship. kilowog ends up crushing on arisia as well, and guy gardner hits on her repeatedly throughout the whole period. eventually, hal and arisia break up, but this legacy (thank so much englehart, for wrtiting this. /sarc) is a big controversy among the comics crowd. "is hal jordan a predator?" personally, and i know a lot of friends/mutuals/other gl fans choose to erase the arisia arc entirely (versus how canon ended up retconning it to be 14 earth years is equal to that of an adult and she didn't really get super ages up, or whatever) and go with the familial relationship between hal and her. that's my preferred version! i know red (@katmaatui) has explored that version as well as an alternate version where the arisia arc did happen, and how it affects arisia in particular, which is really depressing but super interesting. anyway, it's complicated and weird and nuanced, but that whole occurence doesn't mean hal's a bad character or person (cause yk. retcons) and it's certainly not bad to like his character. (definitely ignore any guy gardner fans who try to bitch about this arc. cough cough. guy was ALSO into her and hit on her repeatedly. smfh) most people who bring this up to demonize fans didn't even read the arc, and don't know the nuance or the other weird shit that happens in it. (hal is not a horse, sigh)
OVERALL NOTES!
hal jordan is a super complicated character with an extensive history spanning from the 60s to his worse written appearances in modern age. it's okay to like any version of the character, but it is important to note the changes that have been made, the storylines butchered and lost, and more. he has quite the legacy, and he's particularly interesting as from a moral standpoint. hal's a real sweetie though, when it gets down to it! he's neurodivergent coded (imo at least.. his dad very much gets onto him for being disrtracted, hes kinda shit at social interaction (and then amazing at it the other half of the time) etc etc. "spacecase") and his dad is an abusive asshole, who he desperately doesnt want to be like but thinks he NEEDS to be like!
#i really dont know how to fit this last stuff in so its going in the tags#hal has quite the homoerotic tension relationship with his nemesis (but also close friend) sinestro#they repeatedly come back to each other and long to be alongside eachother#despite all the shit they hate about one another and their respective organizations#check out more of red's stuff for sinhal for sure lmao#for other hal relationships...#hal has a complicated relationship with his brothers and mother (at least when they were all alive)#hes very close friends with oliver queen (and dinah lance by proxy) and quite a lot of fans (me included) think theres some tension there.#homos!#he has a niece (helen jordan!) who is featured in the spectre and who he loves very much#hal and john are proclaimed best friends and care deeply for each other#hal and guy fight a lot but theyre in a similar boat#kyle looks up to hal quite a lot and hal is.... complicated about kylre#a lot of people ship hal and barry and i get why. its cute#not my fav though i think its overdone#hal jordan and carol ferris are so fucking important to eachother its SO important.#they need eachother in a wya thats confusing and sometimes toxic#idk what else to say feel free to ask more questions#sorry for the rant#and sorry that i mostly focused on 60s to early ish 00s thats my expertise#mordie answers#mordie speaks#hal jordan#green lantern#ch: who has time for heavenly things#uhhh#hal explanation#ok bye#hal jordan analysis#gl
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🎉:"In half broken japanese I wrote to U!!1!!"
They sang the whole entire song to him :D
Yey
#ehehehe#artists on tumblr#art#artwork#lol#eat up yall#digital art#regretevator pest#regretevator poob#regretevator#partybeetle#party noob#pest#poob x pest#idk what else to tag#uhh idk#uhhh how do i tag this#uhmm#yey :3#japenese#SoundCloud#Spotify
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was working on my wip and realised this scene is so wolfstar coded so ummm here ya go (sorry in advance for the awful translation lol)
also this is veeery long so i'm putting most of it under the cut
tw: mention of death, harsh(ish) lenguage
★
"Then came the ambulance and the police,” he murmurs, his eyes fixed somewhere in the room, mind showing him once again the image of Sirius' tired smile. "They gave me a blanket. I felt stupid in it."
John, observing him with deep eyes, full of compassion, nods. Remus figures he can't show it, the pity. That it's part of his job not being able to say Oh, you poor thing and that, instead, he must be professional. And it's not that John is bad at it, at hiding what he thinks; it's just the eyes.
It's impossible to lie with one's eyes. Sirius' always shine, even if he insists on wearing the blackest clothes.
Shined. Not anymore. And he doesn't dress in black anymore, it's Remus who has to mourn now, instead of him. And for him.
"How are you feeling?" the psychologist asks, and Remus makes an effort not to cry.
"I don't know," he answers, honest. He doesn't know what words to use. "Bad."
Not enough. John gestures at him to keep talking, to elaborate. He always does that. It's cruel.
Remus looks down at a ring he takes off his finger, and proceeds to watch it turn in his hands as he fidgets with it. It was Sirius'. Everything he owns was either his or reminds him of him in some way. Even the smallest of things, the silliest of details.
If only he could get rid of it all. If only he knew that'd make him forget.
"It's like I don't really believe this is real,” he says, without lifting his gaze from the steel ring. It's carved in a checkered pattern, a chess board that extends and hugs the owner's finger like a ribbon. It's not excessively visible but, if you brush your finger against the metal, you can feel the shapes against your skin, kissing your fingertips like he once did. That feels like so long ago, though. “I... I'm sad, obviously, but also angry. I think it was selfish of him."
Before it had been his, Sirius', the ring had belonged to Regulus. It had been silver then. Sirius turned it into steel when he'd received it from his brother, who got it from their father, whose father had gifted him it, and so on. It must be hundreds of years old.
"Selfish?"
He'll probably ask to be buried with it. If it's not worn on his left hand, it will be trapped on a chain around his neck.
"Yeah, I dunno," he shrugs. He doesn't know how to explain himself. He knows how he feels, he just finds it difficult to believe that anyone could understand it. He tries anyway. "He's gone and he's left us all here as if we didn't have enough problems of our own," he says. "Like, now I have to be myself, which is already tough enough, and also be him for James and Peter and Harry and... Oh, God, Harry..." He shuts his eyes. He needs to breathe. He closes his hand over the ring, and looks at John. "But I need him too. And I don't have him. I don't have anyone to treat me like he did. So, I don't know."
The therapist nods again. When he started the sessions, Remus thought it was weird that John didn't take any notes, like in the movies. It might sound stupid, but he imagined someone constantly writing on a notepad, making a record of every word that came out of his mouth.
It turns out John only uses his notebook to write dates and appointments down; that he actually listens to what he says, instead of analysing every sentence as if it were a mathematical problem.
He's been lucky, and he knows it. At least in this, he's been lucky.
"Do you feel responsible for what happened?" He asks, and Remus thinks about it for a second. Now that the unease has lessened, he's left with just the cold on the tip of his nose and the metal on his fingers. He misses hugging Sirius on cold days like this one.
"Yes," he answers. No point in lying.
John stares at him. Elaborate, he's probably thinking. He always looks at him like that when he wants to make Remus talk.
"I'm the one who was supposed to take care of him," he says then. "And, instead of that, what I did was use him to make him help me with my shit. And even after he's gone I'm still whining about him not being here to give me cuddles. I don't know. Maybe I'm the one who's being selfish.
The psychologist, whose diploma is Remus now observing, makes a face.
"Wanting love is not selfish, Remus," he says, so soft and kind it almost makes Remus feel small, vulnerable and about to break. Or already broken.
"But taking the love away from someone and keeping it to yourself is," he objects.
"You think that's what you did? Taking the love from him?"
"I don't know," he says, and before John can ask him to explain, he continues: "I think maybe if I'd made things right he'd still be here."
The air is still for a few seconds, both in the room and in the street across the window, as well as inside of Remus' lungs, who holds his breath in an attempt to make the ache on his chest go away. It doesn't work.
"It wasn't your fault that he suffered," Josh tells him, but he's been told so many lies he doesn't need to think to detect the lie.
"But it was that he didn’t stop suffering," he tells Mr Too Good For Taking Notes. He should've had that noted. "I should've done something. It's what I'd to have done."
John, wanting to understand but being apparently incapable of it, furrows his brows a bit. The expressions only last a second, and is not even that exaggerated, but Remus sees it anyway. The doubt.
"You think it was your purpose?" He asks. He acts interested. Sometimes he almost even makes Remus forget that he's paid for what he does. That he wouldn't be there if it weren't for the money. That he's got better things to do than...
"Helping him?" Remus asks, trying not to sound too aggressive, but probably failing. "Yes."
"And do you think you were, say, destined to save him?"
"Yes," he agrees. A bit cheesy his personal taste, but, yes, that's what he believes. Why lie, if he's not going to write it down, even.
"But, if it was destiny, how could you have avoided it?"
That feels like a boot to the stomach. He doesn't quite know wether it confuses him or it makes him angry but, either way, he doesn't know what to answer. Perhaps not having thought of it earlier is what irritates him and puts him, once again, in front of a mirror in which a disappointment shines.
He thinks for a bit. Then speaks.
"Trying harder," he says. "Being better."
"No, Remus; is not about trying," his confidant tells him, with a smile that could either indicate complicity or compassion. "You did all that you could, and more. And, still, you couldn't change it, nor can you now."
For some reason, that hurts. Rather, it stings. Both in his open wounds and his sore eyes.
"And what do I do?" He asks. His voice doesn't seem to want to know the answer, as it doesn't cooperate in making itself heard. He swallows and takes a deep breath, letting Sirius' ring slide back into his finger, where it should always have stayed.
"Think about what you did achieve," John offers, so careful it seems almost meticulous. "You made him happy for a time, you gave him peace. You made him feel safe, too. Confident. You helped each other. That's good."
"But he's dead," Remus says. He's not sure he's used that word since it happened. It's not likely, seeing how much it hurts pronouncing it. He's spent over a month circling around and avoiding one of those damned words, the ones that feel like mines in an already ruined field. He presses his lips and looks at John, cheeks wet with rivers of salty water. "That's bad."
"Yes," the therapist agrees. "That is bad."
#crazy about the therapists name being john#cause the original isnt wolfstar so john is a perfectly normal name (and its actually jon)#but in this context it could be interpreted as a conversation with himself and omg aaaaa#also the “if i cant have his ring on my finger i will have it on a chain around my neck” HELLO? im fangirling to my own writing i know#but like#that translates to “if i cant marry him/live a life with him i will at least hold whats left of him close to my heart”#AND THUS I DIE#sorry i just love this scene so much im going nuts#also um ignore the james & lily & peter & harry mention cause i was lazy & didnt know how to make the context make sense lol#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#marauders era#the marauders#dead gay wizards#dead gay wizards from the 70s#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#tw death#tho if youre sentive to death maybe rethink being on this fandom (for your own personal good)#uhhh idk what else to tag#enjoy the angst#losver fangirls#losver writes for some reason#losver is sad#btw just thought it would have been better if it was sirius talking about finding james dead??? like aaaaa but anyway whats done is done#wolfstar brainrot#wolfstar supremacy#wolfstar microfic#not so micro lol#weirdly i love writing therapy sessions (might be cause i need one)
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JOSH SHRINE MAJOR UPDATE...
photos + INTENSE YAP SESSION under the cut...
you know that meme like "when there's no merch of a character so you have to make it for yourself"? that's me and my mom right now. unfortunately my mom (because she's one of those moms that make T-shirts) was already making that before I showed her the teepublic website so unfortunately it's not official—also the pillow. ill cherish that thing until I die, it's so soft and for what, I genuinely screamed when I saw it—I can't believe that's a thing, like a physical thing in my house, in my room. also, I collect rubber ducks (because im a loser) and I got a Spock duck, immediately added to the shrine. honestly, the next thing I wanna work on is either an ita bag or a plushie (plushie seems more doable rn). I don't think I'll ever get over having that shirt though.
also, first pictures I've uploaded of the shrine itself! it's a huge wip rn—obviously. theres almost nothing there. I only started it like three days ago. it makes me very happy to get up from my bed and see him without having to open my phone first. also, I might print more pictures??? soon?? not sure about today but sometime soon. anyway, that's all I have to say, I just realized how genuinely insane I sound talking. at least I'm self aware.
#NOBODY LET EVAN DORKIN KNOW I EXIST PLEASE THANKS#definitely blocking him after this tbh#sigh#hopefully you guys have fun laughing at it though#the eltingville club#welcome to eltingville#rambles#josh levy#joshua levy#< 💙💙💙#eltingville club#eltingvilleclub#eltingville#uhhh#idk ehat else to tag#i sort of realized how insane i sound#i PROMISE its not that weird and im normal#uhh#f/o community#hi..........
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Tysm for the tag @karellasparklejumpropequeen
find 4 eyeshadow singles that describe you best.
Here is mine :
Tags: @cokebitch @angelblvd444 @m6lancholiaa @xsweetdollheavenxo @bunnydoll777 @malakinterrupted @instantdeerbear (idk who else to tag 😞)
#girlblogger#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del rey#girlblogging#bed rotting#hell is a teenage girl#just girly things#sofia coppola#idk how to tag this#coquette#idk what else to tag#tag game#eyeshadow#thought daughter#the love witch#the virgin suicides#im just a girl#daddy issues#angel wings#female hysteria#baby doll#idk man#uhhh#viral#blythe doll#porcelain#porcelain doll#dollcore#dollette#nymph3t
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#house md#gregory house#james wilson#lisa cuddy#greg house#meme#funny post#shitpost#lol#tumblr memes#uhhh#hahaha#idk what else to tag#please reblog#ok to reblog#ok to rb#i’m so funny#erm#idk how to tag this#anyway#okay bye
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Hi! I loved your Anakin blurb and I was wondering if you could write one about bf! scott sticking up for you against Augusto :)) 🫶
Of course babe I gotchu! ;)
you had a big mouth to say the least, you spoke your mind and never backed off & everyone knew it.
though at times your mouth got you in trouble, like now.
“are you going to say anything whore?!” auggie yelled, specks of his spit flying on your face. you opened your mouth to speak before feeling a presence behind you.
“does your ass ever get jealous of the amount of shit you talk auggie?”
scott interjected, stepping in front of you making you scoff.
you could defend yourself you had done it before him, though it felt a little reliving to have someone to defend you.
“get out of the way scott, this is between me & that bitch.”
scott slammed auggie against the concrete, holding him by his collar.
“fuck!” auggie swore.
“call her a bitch again & you won’t seen the light of day.” scott gritted, letting go of auggie’s collar throwing him on the ground.
scott turned towards you & grabbed your arm, dragging you away from auggie.
“next time you decide to open your mouth i’ll shove my dick down it.” scott muttered.
#scott barringer#hayden christensen#x reader#higher ground#fanfic#scott barringer x you#no use of y/n#not proofread#uhhh how do i tag this#•Maeve responds•#cuntqueen#crazy#idk what else to tag
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