#uhh anyway pray for me! I am Alone and the anxiety is HITTING

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

;-;

[alyhollywood]

Why the fuck can’t people be happy for you when you are stoked about something? Let alone like it’s none of their damn business how I paid for something and how do they think I have no need for a planner ?! Like i don’t know about you but me I can’t even remember what I did last week on specific days let alone remember I scheduled a doctor appointment weeks or months from now. I can’t use my phone I ignore and swipe shit away even in my sleep, hell I have even answered and had full phone calls totally asleep because I’ll see it on my call log or someone will bring it up and I’ll be like uhhh we talked ?? Hah. Truly being a Virgo and the fact I am just an organized mess in general I need a damn planner to keep all the zillion things tracked and know when I went where or saw who when it took this or that mes at what dates. I mean literally if your female you know every time a doc. Office visit one of the first things asked is when was your last period? Like I’d rather be able to just grab and flip open my planner to answer then look like a total dumbass saying I don’t know but I know I’m not prego lol cuz they never believe you hah. And then follows a mini lecture about importance of knowing your cycles even if you are on the pill or any other sort of device used. Ptf. Or you sit there trying to remember and looking back in your phone at dates and remembering you took a selfie or a pic of something during your time of the month so you try to find the pic to find a date to give them as they stand there tapping their shoe or pen on the forms and give you this what a total ditz expression. Me without a planner I will miss things accidentally or double book plans, and always be late. Okay I tend to be late anyways but not because I had remembered the wrong time or something like that.

I also am beyond perplexed how people in my world could say I’m not actually sick or I’m lying about that having been why I’m not in school or working right now. Like uhh how the fuck did they miss that one I mean it’s not like I didn’t post while dying in the hospital or throughout this last year journey. It’s been such an ordeal I even got a christmas gift of a custom made charm to mark the whole journey that has taken more inner strength and positivity then I even knew I had within me. Like really having to defend I almost died last year is so absurd I just end up being sick of the argument defending the facts that clearly they are so far removed from my life at this point they didn’t bother to notice and that’s on them they can go back and look at social media for their proof it’s all there. Some relatives even see me now and don’t realize like how bad I was since I’m thankfully not in that state anymore and roll their eyes as if I’m just lazy and making excuses. I still don’t have doctor clearance and they still are trying to sort out wtf any of it was. I’m pretty sure the mass will be an unsolved question that I pray was a one time fluke or something.

I just have to keep focus on the people who matter most and opinions should have any pull are those who have been there for me through my ordeal. The ones who truly care about me that were not around know me well enough to know I wouldn’t lie to them and fully believe me when I tell them what went on while they have been away or why I wasn’t in touch. Not exactly easy to stay in touch when at times I couldn’t even write with either hand my initials signing forms. I also most of last year was in so much physical agony it was overwhelmingly taking precedence over doing anything despite even trying to do tasks I wanted to do it was not allowing. The people who matter don’t care what I look like or if I’m a goddamn mess in a dark place because they know if it were opposite I’d be there for them without judgement. I don’t get why whenever I get to have anything even if it’s something I gifted myself because I’ll worth it can’t people not just be content or stoked with me that I’m jazzed up about something even if they don’t understand.... like a tarte eyeshadow palette that launched in 2015 I waited until it was on sale in sept 2019 for one day only 50% off and stayed up to buy it the second it hit midnight before it could sell out. I know my homeboys could care less or begin to understand anything makeup really but they humor me and are stoked with me that I got a killer deal and admire my patience to buy it at a more reasonable price point and my drive to make it happen lol.

Like why be bitter or cruel? It’s not necessary. Don’t rain on someone else’s parade it’s just messed up. Be happy for them or don’t say anything. Knocking them down is just a reflection of what a negative unhappy person you are in the end. I mean happiness for me is really hard to come by. People love to destroy it anytime I get a small dose and that is just messed up. I actually have a type of depression where I’ve been here so long I don’t consciously know I’m depressed. My highs are what would be average persons normal. My norm is low. And my lows are potentially fatal due to their danger of how dark I go since I’m already starting at low as it is it’s not a place that’s okay for me to be in especially living alone so for those who like to rain on my rainbow you are truly the worst of the worst because admit it or not you by hurting me with words are placing my life at risk because it’s not like I only have one person who decides to be that way it’s the multitude and then it’s like fuck this I want out cuz apparently happiness isn’t supposed to be something I can afford or be able to be on point getting shit done and functional instead of being stressed anxiety ridden and a total haphazard scrambling to make it through the week state of being.

I also am really sorta done with socializing for another reason lately. I am fed up with people taking my belongings and then trying to make it seem as if they asked and I said yes after the fact of doing so. No my stuff is mine you do not just help yourself and not ask specific and if I say no It does not mean then steal it. Like if someone asks me for a water sure go grab one but that does not mean drink all I got and leave me fucked over with no water for days since not having a car not like I can just go buy a case and easily bring it home. If I have a subscription to something chances are I can’t find my size or whatever in stores and can’t buy it for full retail price so you stealing it makes it impossible for me to replace let alone pissed the fuck off cuz you violate my trust and disrespect of my home I can’t trust you around anymore you blew it. I hope what you stole was worth it cuz now we’re done. Never had anyone who breaks shit here or taken replaced what I then have to add to a list of stuff to buy that sets me back further especially when it’s an item I already had replaced cuz why bother I’ll just go without instead of replacing and continue to have jacked and be without anyway. I mean Stealing from people is fucked up. Steal from stores they have funds set aside to manage that happening and be okay. You steal from someone you just hurt them in more ways then you can begin to fathom let alone the psychological damage. Any time I think I got a handle on it then I find nope I really don’t I should just cut everyone out cuz clearly making good friends I was more a fail at then I thought. I may be alone and it be hard but at least I save myself the devistating losses and upset of stuff going missing and the anxiety and stress of people and their true intentions or actions around me let alone safety being not at risk in some form.

I just want to be fuckin happy. Let alone not have someone decide to try to demolish it.

[it-is-ok-i-am-ok]

Wait, why are you getting kicked off social security and state aid? ��💕

Sorry for the late reply. This story is wild from start to end so hang on for the ride

Long story short, the original problem was that SS has to start counting my boyfriend and I as married, which like….no. They said they have to for two reasons (mostly because of reason one), but I do understand don’t get me wrong.

1. We signed for a timeshare together. 

2. He put me as his beneficiary for his life insurance. 

Now, let me explain. 

I went into the timeshare thing (you know the usual like being shown this shit blah blah blah) being like nope we aint buying. (We had to go through it to get something we won or something which in the end was BS gift) We go into “Signing” room and I’m like nope, nada. But then everything just went…so wrong. Long story short, I’m obviously on disability for a reason ok. (I was granted both physical and mental but I won my case in five minutes because of my mental LOL). People who have mental illnesses, especially borderline personality disorder probably understand me on this one. Condo: I couldn’t get out, as hard as I tried. My boyfriend, he’s obviously my BOYFRIEND not my HUSBAND because he still don’t get it all (like my mum who is my representative in every aspect except the stupid payee which makes it “official”). So he like didn’t understand what he was doing was bad and my ques of like holy shit this needs to stop not like my momma. Finally I was like ok ok ok what the fuck ever but it’s your timeshare I want nothing of this, we break up its yours. Then they come back and say because of his credit he couldn’t. So then here we go I immediately feel guilt (without anyone having to say anything more) and my guilt problems cause me anxiety problems which causes me to do the stupidest shit on earth like my guilt problems are legit one of the beggist things i work on in therapy. So they assured me, If i put my name it’s like being a co-signer bleh bleh bleh. It’s in our contract that he pays. While signign they were even like you can read the contract later if you just wanna sign now. Like it was that fucked up.

The beneficiary whatever. Jonathan told me he had to put someone or that was his understanding and lemme telll you, im the only choice. I was assured it could be changed and this wasn’t permanent because I dont want that kinda commitment. I just idk I didn’t think anything of it and just thought i was helping someone because i have another problem with ovre-compassion as i call it lol.

So fast forward she tells me ight well we gotta count you as married. And I’m like WHAT NO I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING. and she omfg she’s like “well you don’t know that” and I’m like bitch…I know I’m right.

Well guess fucking what, yes I would lose everything. Even tho his money, his work, we aint sharing it it aint joint bank account wahbam, fuck me right.

Now, wouldn’t this be your first clue that you shouldn’t count as us married (one of first things I asked):

“Well, what if we break up!?” She then told me blah blah blah I have a year then i’m fucked. Then for like 1.5 hour we talked and at the end she got it, I was a blubbering mess. So she was like ok i aint promising anything because if someones doing this stuff, I put them as married end of story….but i’m gonna send you, your bf, and mom able to write statements blah blah. 

Then as the end it was very lightly mentioned “Oh wait..you might no matter what lose stuff because it’s a resource” but it was said like no real concern. I then realized later hell fucking yeah it’s a concern.

So my mum and I are talking and I’m like this is bananas, it aint like oh man i signed on the dotted line and i regret it…it’s like I have a mental illness that makes it so sometimes uhmmmm I may act rash, or be influenced etc DUH. And then BAM. It just hit me.

A WEEK PRIOR I HAD LITERALLY BEEN IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL. Not 2 weeks, not 1.5 week but a WEEK. I was in there because I was on a medication that was making me plan out my suicide….I was released because the agreed I was safe enough to at least not KILL myself. Not because I was 100% off the med or 100% ok in the membrane. And then i had this vague memory that I signed this shtit leaving the hospital about how I’m not mentally capable of making any life decisions or something. (Their way of saving my ass I guess). I get a call back on monday about that if I did.

So my mom talked to this bomb ass lawyer and long story short I’m 99.9999999% sure I’m gettingout of this contract. 

So ok that solves that problem. And considering again sign contract acting married wasn’t mentally 100% shouldn’t count for married either. And seeing how she was really believing me long story short….

No, I now don’t think I will lose everything. 

I want to set the record straight tho, I just days ago thought I was losing 

1. Social security income

2. Medicare

Then she said the state probably wouldn’t kick me off because they’re more leniant with “marriage” thing. But the resource thing oh man, then I would have also lost

1. I would have went from SS income to state income, but nope nevermind

2. medicaid gone. 

So I would be worth $0 a month, and I mean I would have my parents insurance but I can’t afford that deductable and copay shit, and also Im gonna be 26 eventually. So that means I would be reliable on my boyfriend 100% (which like uhh our relationship is so up and down like no thank you I wanna be able to move out if I want/have to). And his income barely covers one person let alone two. (We did the math if we lost everything and we’d be lucky if we had $50 for the week after paying everything and that’s if we baby how much we spend for gas, food etc). 

This would also mean I’d lose my medicaid appointment transportation which FYI my PT is an hour and 10 minutes away, but then again I couldn’t afford to go anyways to anything. As my convo with my driver went

“Damn, you wouldn’t even be able to work if they forced you….because of how many appointments you have.” 

-me “You know now…they’ll say ‘well cause ya lost everything… youll have plenty of time now LOL”

-her: “And then you woudn’t even be able to work with your “free time” because you need your appoointments to function!”

-me: “EXACTLY” 

So appointments, medications, treatments (Botox anymore? LOL RIGHT and I just got approved for Hetlioz look up that babies price MEGA LOL), affording my car/insurance, my apartment (can’t afford this place no more), internet (if I even could continue school), sadly my lovely rats, my income etc GOOOOONE.

So lets all pray to the gods of the disabled that my contract gets cancelled and I don’t lose everything and actually legit….die. LOL

I went from Wednesday facing the fact that I’m going to die, to friday holy shit I am saved god bless my borderline brain

So moral of the story is my mom is probably going to become my payee, and try to prevent me from getting emotionally influenced or emotionally rash into things, and now my boyfriend nows ques etc. He also obviously knows to NEVER do something like this again. I have also learned that I know I obviously have a brain that works differently and makes even the simpilest things hard, but I’m going to mention in therapy how I want to work on this and we can try to at least (if I can’t able to say no) make my ques known and obviously to jonathan. To talk more beforehand about things and plans, and also make trusted others know what I am ok with and am not. 

[taexual]

GOT7 / Their S/O waking up from a coma with no memory

Request: Hello can you plz do bts and got7 reaction to their s/o in coma because of accident after arguing with them and finally wake up after 2 months and lost memory... if you could 😂😂😂 thx

Thank you for requesting this! Hope you enjoy!

OTHER VERSIONS: BTS / EXO

TRIGGER WARNING! accidents resulting in hospital stay. Also, a looooot of angst.

Mark

He knew you were really careless when you were emotional, so he made sure to never leave you alone after the two of you got into a fight. However, this time, his principles took the best of him and he didn’t check up on you until the next morning.

When he had finally called your number, your crying mother answered. Somehow, she managed to explain that you’ve gotten a severe concussion, resulting in a coma. Mark was already on his way to the car as soon as he heard that you’ve been injured.

The fear of losing you was so strong that Mark was afraid to leave your side and stayed in your hospital room all of the time. The nurses jokingly offered to place a bed for him in the room.

However, sometimes he had to leave – to go to the bathroom, or to get some food from the cafeteria. And exactly a month after your accident, he was coming back to your room with a tray of food, when he heard your mother’s voice. He thought she was telling you how much she needed you to wake up, so he didn’t want to bother her, and stopped in the hallway, outside of the door.

“Mark is going to be on cloud nine when he comes back!” he heard your mother say through the door.

He frowned in confusion.

“W-who?” a quiet voice responded, but Mark heard it as clear as day.

Dropping the tray to the floor in shock, he burst into the room to see your eyes opened and your mother crying tears of joy.

“Y/n!” he shouted, not even realizing what you’ve said before.

“I told you he’d be happy!” your mother said with a wide smile.

“M-mum,” you started cautiously, while Mark grabbed your hand to kiss it. “I don’t know h-him.”

Both, he and your mother froze, finally understanding. You didn’t remember him.

Mark removed himself from you, looking at you with a pained expression. This hurt him even more than the news of your accident.

JB

Both of you were very temperamental when it came to fighting. Which is why your arguments often escalated. However, the two of you had a rule never to go to sleep without making up first.

Seeing that it was already 11pm and you still haven’t returned home, he didn’t want to break the rule before going to sleep, so he dialed your phone number.

The horror he felt when your hysterical best friend picked up your phone, yelling about how you caused a car accident and were now in a coma, could not be described in words.

His entire world seemed to have stopped in that moment. It took him a few more minutes to break off from the trance, but by then he was already in the car, on his way to the hospital, cursing himself every few seconds.

Your best friend and he got into another fight in the waiting room of the hospital, with him blaming her for not calling him as soon as she found out about you, and her blaming him for the fact that you got into the accident in the first place.

Eventually, the doctor managed to settle the argument down and allowed both of them to see you.

Both of them spent the night by your bedside. Eventually, after you still haven’t woken up three days later, Jaebum told your best friend to go home.

And then he proceeded to apologize to you every day for the next few weeks, even though he knew you probably couldn’t hear him.

And then you woke up. He was asleep with his head on your bed, your hand in his, so he didn’t realize.

“Uhh,” you groaned, not sure if you wanted to wake him up, but waking him up anyway.

He was disoriented as he jumped up from the chair he was sitting on.

“Y/n!” he exclaimed. “You woke up? W-when?!”

“I’m sorry,” you said under your breath. “Y-you kept apologizing b-but I don’t know why… I don’t even know y-you.”

Jaebum thought he was still sleeping and this was just one of those anxiety-induced dreams. But it wasn’t. You were there, looking at him with confused, helpless eyes, while he watched you - the love of his life - not recognize who he was anymore.

Jackson

Neither one of you liked it when you fought. Jackson, especially. He didn’t even want to let you storm out of your shared apartment, grabbing your hand and begging you to talk it out. However, you told him you needed space, and he let you go, not wanting to piss you off even more.

He had a bad feeling about this. At first, he thought it was just the anxiety caused by the fight you two just had, but then he received the call. As he listened to your mother’s panicked voice, he was already running down the stairs to get to his car and drive to the hospital.

After narrowly avoiding a speeding ticket, he finally got to the hospital to find your devastated family standing around your unconscious body in the hospital bed. After short explanations from each family member, Jackson found out that you were so upset you didn’t look where you were going and ended up walking down the road right in front of a car. The driver braked but it was too late, resulting in serious injuries that left you alive but caused you a coma.

Blaming himself for not holding onto you after the fight tighter, Jackson spent the entire time by your bedside.

You finally woke up three weeks later and Jackson was there next to you, having rehearsed the words he’d say to you a million times in his head.

“Baby,” he whispered, not being able to stop the smile from spreading on his face when he finally saw the color of your eyes again. “Can you hear me?”

“I can…” you started but then your voice cracked.

“Don’t talk, just listen,” Jackson said. “Y/n, I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s completely my fault—”

“Wh-what happened?” you interrupted him. “Why am I in the hospital?”

“Oh. Right. There’s been an accident. We got into a fight and you—”

“We?” you asked, raising your hand from the bed slightly to gesture at the two of you. “Are you sure? B-because I don’t remember y-you.”

Suddenly, Jackson forgot every word to the speech he’s been rehearsing in his head all of those nights that he stayed by your bed, praying you’d wake up. This was not the response he imagined to get from you.

Shocked and hurt, he got up from the seat next to you.

“I’ll… I’ll call the doctor, okay?” he asked, suddenly looking for an excuse to be alone with his thoughts for a moment so he could control the tears that threatened to come.

Jinyoung

It seemed as though this argument you two have been having has been going on for days. Eventually, the two of you stopped talking to each other altogether. Jinyoung heard you close the door of your apartment but he didn’t ask where you were going, even though he was worried about you getting lost in the blizzard that was in full force outside.

When it was already dark outside and you still haven’t returned, he got concerned. When he got ready to call you, he realized that his phone has been dead for God knows how long, so he plugged it in to charge it and soon noticed five missed calls from your number.

Feeling his heartbeat speed up, he quickly called you back.

He wasn’t expecting to hear your best friend’s voice, telling him that she was on her way to meet you for drinks, but you never showed up. Apparently, due to the blizzard, you hadn’t realized you were walking on ice, therefore you slipped, fell, and hit your head on the pavement, resulting in a skull fracture, and consequently, a coma.

Panicking, Jinyoung found a taxi to take him to the hospital, afraid to drive in this condition and in this weather.

Feeling guilty for not being there to stop you from going out in this weather, he tried to make it up to you by not leaving your side. Even your parents told him to go home but he refused and kept repeating that it was his fault you were here in the first place.

When you finally woke up from the coma two weeks later, he thought he was going to explode from happiness.

“I knew you wouldn’t leave me,” he said, feeling so overwhelmed with relief that he was about to cry.

“Where am I?” you whispered after a while. And just as Jinyoung was about to answer, you continued. “Can you call my family?”

“Your family is on their way,” Jinyoung said, giving you an encouraging smile. “I’m here with you. I’m not leaving.”

“Okay,” you said, happy that you’re not alone.

At first, you didn’t dare to ask the question that kept nagging you since you saw him in your hospital room, but you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I’m sorry,” you said, interrupting Jinyoung who was retelling you everything that you’ve missed in those two weeks that you’ve been unconscious. “But… how do we know each other?”

Jinyoung immediately stopped talking, looking at you in horror.

“You don’t remember?” he asked, shocked. “I’m your boyfriend. We’ve been together for two years.”

You were really surprised to hear this. “I’m sorry. This feels like the first time I’m seeing you.”

Jinyoung stared at you in confusion and disbelief. How was it possible that the past two years of your life were completely wiped away from your memory? He had hoped the doctors would fix this because he was not going to let you go again.

Youngjae

The two of you were in a car, on your way home from a restaurant. You were still arguing about something really irrelevant. However, you were both too into it to stop.

Unfortunately, arguments and slippery roads rarely went well together. Before Youngjae realized what happened, he had lost control of the car, not stopping before entering the main road, and driving into it right in front of a passing car.

The other vehicle hit your car from the passenger side, resulting in your hospitalization, while Youngjae barely suffered any injuries.

Even though the doctors wanted to stitch up his eyebrow that had split open during the crash, he refused to leave you alone, even if he knew the best doctors in the city were taking care of you. And yet, they still couldn’t do much. Waking up from a coma was up to you and you only.

The guilt Youngjae felt was indescribable. He held your hand, whispering how sorry he was every day, hoping you’ll hear him and forgive him soon.

A month later, when every single injury Youngjae suffered that night had already healed, you moved. It started out as slow movements of your fingers, but within a few hours you had opened your eyes, and a few more hours later, you could already talk.

“God, I’m so glad that you woke up,” Youngjae whispered as he clutched your hand to his heart, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears in. “All of this was my fault. I still can’t believe I wasn’t watching the road. I’m so sorry. I can’t even explain how sorry I am.”

“I don’t remember anything,” was the first thing you said.

Youngjae’s eyes popped open. “W-What?”

“I’m sorry,” you added. “But I have no idea who you are or what you’re talking about.”

Youngjae was having a hard time understanding this. Here he was, praying for your recovery every night, and that came true. Except now you had no idea who he was.

The guilt he felt before intensified when he started to think that he caused you to forget who he was by not looking after you enough. By not putting an end to your fight that night. By not controlling the car properly.

BamBam

You were always ignorant of your surroundings whenever you were upset or stressed. And after getting into a fight with BamBam, you were both. This has been your third fight this week, so naturally, you were starting to fear that he would break up with you.

The thoughts about having to break up with him were what preoccupied your brain when you started to cross the street without looking both ways. You thought you heard a car signal you but it was too late.

When BamBam found out you got into a car accident that caused you a coma, he wanted to scream. He controlled himself, however, but only because there were lots of people around. When he was left alone, he let himself express his grief in every way he knew how.

In the end, he decided he had to pull himself together and patiently wait until you woke up so he could tell you how sorry for everything he was and how he was never ever going to leave you.

After the longest two weeks of his life, you finally opened your eyes.

“Oh my God, Y/n,” BamBam gasped. “You’re awake! Finally! I’ve been worried sick. I’m so glad you opened your eyes.

“I…” you tried to talk but your throat was to try.

“I’ll call a nurse so she can bring you water because I’m not leaving your side,” he told you as he pressed the emergency button next to your bed. “Y/n… I’m so sorry you’re here. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I swear to you, I would never break up with you.”

“Break up?” you groaned quietly. “We’re… together?”

BamBam felt cold all of a sudden.

“Y-you don’t remember?” he asked slowly.

You tried to shake your head but couldn’t. “No.”

He shook his head in disbelief. There was no way he spent all of this time worrying about you only to hear that you don’t remember who he was anymore. He knew you two deserved a happy ending after all that happened. Why the hell were you not getting one, then?

Yugyeom

With the tears blurring your vision, you ran out of your apartment, leaving Yugyeom – who was still yelling – alone inside. All you could think about was how much you hated fighting. You didn’t even realize that you couldn’t see where you were going, and the stairs in the hallway of your building started sooner than you expected.

You lost your balance immediately and was forced to fall down the entire set of stairs. There were a few seconds when you haven’t lost your consciousness yet, and already in those seconds, you were too confused to understand what had just happened. And then you passed out.

And much to Yugyeom’s – who, unlike Jackson, didn’t manage to avoid a speeding ticket on his way to the hospital – sadness, you didn’t wake up from the coma caused by the heavy concussion, for a whole month.

He spent this entire time with you, not doing much else, other than staring at the wall of your hospital room, fearing that he’ll go insane if you don’t wake up soon.

Suddenly, an entire month after the accident, you woke up, startling him but also inflicting indescribable joy upon him.

“Y/n, thank God!” he shouted once he saw that you had opened your eyes.

“What..?” was all that you managed to ask.

“I’ll explain everything that happened,” Yugyeom said. “But first tell me does anything hurt? Should I call the doctor? The nurse? Anyone?”

“M-my family?” you tried. “Where are they?”

Yugyeom was a little sad to hear this but he understood. “They’ll be here. I’ll call them right now if you want me to.”

You nodded as much as the cast on your neck allowed you to. Yugyeom got his phone out and started to dial.

“H-how do you have their phone n-numbers?” you asked, suddenly realizing.

Yugyeom frowned in confusion. “Well, you gave them to me.”

“I did?”

Realization dawned on him. “You don’t remember.”

You stared at him not knowing what to say. You had no clue that you’ve forgotten something.

“Do you know who I am?” Yugyeom asked but his hands started to shake even before you answered.

“N-no,” you answered a little awkwardly.

Yugyeom’s entire world collapsed around him. As he watched your clueless eyes stare at him, he started to think he had truly gone insane in those days when he was waiting for you to wake up because there was no way that this was the reality.

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[elli-dawn-stories]

Voltage High- Chapter Four

Tagging: @lone-wolf155 @honeybeelily @yesscmlover12 @smile-smile-ichthys I hope you all don’t mind me tagging you. You seemed to be enjoying the story so I thought I’d go ahead and tag you. But this is chapter 4 so you will need to read 3 before this if you haven’t already.

___

The next morning. Kayla woke up with the rising sun. She still felt incredibly tired; she didn’t get as much sleep as she had wanted. Kayla hoped it wouldn’t affect her performance on her first day of class.

Kayla sat up in bed and stretched as she yawned. “I really should try getting a little more sleep…” But she knew it would be impossible. The fact she was even up so early was because she couldn’t sleep well.

Kayla decided she would get out of bed and go get something to drink. She had no idea if anyone else would be up at this time. Kayla looked at Sophia, “She is still out like a light.” She softly laughed. Kayla made sure to at least brush her hair before heading to the kitchen.

When she got there Hue was already in there along with Baba.

(Oh. There is people in here even this early.)

Kayla was surprised to see others at this hour but headed into the kitchen anyway and greeted both with a smile.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Hue asked and Kayla shook her head. “No. I guess it must my anxiety playing up.”

“You aren’t use to this kind of thing, huh?” Baba said with a bright smile. “For us this is natural since we come from wealthy families but all this would seem intimidating to you.”

That was one of the reasons Kayla was feeling nervous but she was also worried about the kinds of people she would meet at this new college. Going through high school she was bullied a lot and never had anyone to support her, so she couldn’t help but feel scared inside.

“Probably.” She smiled to cover her real worries. “This is such a prestigious college and I only got in by luck. I guess it is kind of intimidating.”

Suddenly Hue interrupted, looking like he remembered something. “Kayla. We worked out the meal schedule. I have a list right here.” Hue pulled out a piece of paper from his pants pocket and handed it to her.

“Hmm.” Kayla started to carefully read it. “Wait. I am already on breakfast today?” She didn’t think she would start so soon. “Hey… I am on this list three times.” Kayla glanced up at Hue with a pointed look.

Hue laughed and said, “We thought you should have the honor of cooking more often since you looked like you knew your way around a kitchen. Most of the men in this dorm don’t really have cooking experience so we hoped you could, I don’t know, save our stomachs.”

Hearing his reason Kayla couldn’t stay mad. Now she had to try hard to not laugh. “You are in luck. I cooked all the time back home. I will make sure we don’t all die from food poisoning.”

Hue was relieved to her that and thanked her. Even Baba was feeling relieved. But… Kayla looked at the list, “You have Sophia cooking dinner tonight. I didn’t know you all wanted to die so soon.”

Both Baba and Hue laughed at her comment but there was no denying the terror on their faces.

“The both of us, along with Jan, will be cooking alongside her for damage control. Hopefully we can save everyone’s taste buds…” Hue looked at his stomach and patted it, “And our stomachs.”

Kayla laughed and wished them the best. After all, Sophia was a real handful and both of them knew that. After talking for a bit Kayla got her glass of water and headed back to her room to prepare for the day ahead.

“By the way, cute pajamas.” Baba said before she left the kitchen.

“I was thinking the same. Very cute.” Hue added, smiling.

“Oh.. T-Thanks.” Kayla kept her face turned away as she stopped to thank them, her cheeks now completely flushed. Kayla felt giddy inside after receiving the unexpected compliment. She hoped no one would see her as she returned to her room.

(My face is so red right now… That was the first time a guy thought I was cute.) Kayla couldn’t stop smiling as she thought about it.

An hour had already passed since she first woke up. When Kayla returned to her room Sophia had already awoken.

“Kayla!” Sophia called to Kayla the moment she saw her return. “When I woke up you were missing. I was wondering where you had gone.” Sophia put on an unhappy face, “I started to think maybe you abandoned me,” then her face became happy again, “But you have returned!” Sophia ran up to Kayla and hugged her. “I knew you could never leave me.”

“Uhh… Phi… I can’t breathe.” Sophia had a shockingly powerful hold.

“Ah. Sorry sorry!” Sophia quickly let go and looked apologetic. “I always do this… I get so caught up in the moment and cause trouble. Please don’t be mad.” She bowed.

Kayla was shocked to see Sophia bowing in front of her and genuinely looking worried. “I’m not mad. Don’t worry about it. But please, watch that strength of yours. I swear you could break my ribs if you wanted.” Kayla awkwardly laughed, thinking how painful it would be if Sophia did accidently break her ribs…

“I will. Don’t you worry.” Sophia immediately sprang back up smiling. Kayla then remembered the note she was given and showed it to Sophia. “Oooh. I will be cooking tonight. Magnifique! I will make something that is to die for.” She squealed in excitement.

(Oh gods, please don’t let that statement be literal. Jan. Hue. Baba. Save me! Save everyone!) Kayla quietly prayed for everyone. Sophia remained completely oblivious to the terror on Kayla’s face.

“I need to go get ready now. I need to begin preparing breakfast.” Kayla said and headed to her wardrobe to get her school uniform.

“I get to taste Kayla’s cooking. Ooh. I can’t wait. It will be divine!” Sophia said, positively thrilled. She then returned to her side of the room to finish her preparations.

Kayla finished everything up and was about to head to the kitchen when she remembered something.

(I need to say goodbye to Fluffykins.)

As she thought of her stuff rabbit something came to mind. Every night she had always slept with Fluffykins but last night was the first night she slept alone… Kayla wondered if that was the reason she had such trouble sleeping.

(I really am still a child… I still need my stuffed toy to sleep.) Kayla sighed and shook her head, disappointed in herself.

“What is this? Are you hiding something?” A curious Sophia had wandered over to Kayla as she pat her stuffed bunny.

“What? No!” Kayla denied it so quickly that it only made her more suspicious.

“Hmm.” Sophia cocked her head, thinking of what she may be hiding in her bag. “I got it!” Sophia hit her hand as her face lit up.

Kayla jumped and froze, “You got what?!”

“You are hiding your beloved pet in there. They are forbidden in the dorms but don’t worry I won’t tell.”

(Huh? Er… I guess it is a pet? A stuffed one…)

“Sorry. Wrong.” Kayla shook her head and Sophia quickly deflated. “Oh. Then… I want to see!” She really didn’t know the meaning of personal space as she quickly stuck her hand in Kayla’s bag and pulled out the stuffed bunny.

“Huh? This is a stuffed toy.” Sophia said, looking surprised.

“Yeah… The fact I brought it with me was embarrassing. I had planned to hide it from you because I didn’t know what you would say.” Kayla said, feeling rather tense.

Sophia however just started to laugh. “This is so funny.”

“What? Are you laughing at me because you think I am a child?”

Sophia shook her head and handing the toy to Kayla she went to her bed. “See.” Sophia pulled out a stuffed cat from behind her pillow.

“Y-You have a stuffed toy as well?” That was something Kayla definitely was not expecting.

“She is called Jellybean.” Sophia said as she walked back up to Kayla.

“This is Fluffykins.” Kayla said as she pat the bunny’s head. “My older siblings gave him to me.”

Suddenly Sophia stopped walking and the smile on her face vanished. Kayla was shocked by the sudden change in Sophia. “Sophia?”

“Sorry. I just had a moment. Don’t worry about me.” She started to smile again.

(What was that? Something definitely was going on just then. What is Sophia hiding?)

Sophia showed her stuffed cat to Kayla but she never mentioned anything about it or where she got it while Kayla told her everything about her rabbit. Kayla got the feeling Sophia didn’t really want to talk about it but she could see her stuffed cat was something very important to her. _

Kayla hurried her way to the kitchen. The others must already be waiting.

“Sorry, I’m late.”

Just as she thought. Karno, Joshua and Ichthys were already there getting things ready.

“Good. Everyone is here.” Karno smiled at Kayla. “I have something I need to ask you all.” Karno said and everyone looked at him. “Who here has cooking experience?”

Ichthys and Joshua both glanced at each other then back at Karno. Ichthys had a broad grin on his face as he shrugged his shoulders. “Never cooked in my life but it can’t be that hard, right?”

“I have never cooked personally but I have seen Jan cook before.” Joshua said.

Karno stood still for a moment before facepalming, “Wonderful.” He was clearly perturbed. “Kayla, you know how to cook, right?” Karno looked at her like she was his last hope.

“Yep.” She nodded, “I cooked all the time back home.” It was one of Kayla’s favorite hobbies.

Karno sighed in relief and seemed to calm down a little. “Thank goodness. We may be able to make this work, after all.”

Karno suggested Ichthys and Joshua both watch him and Kayla closely and help out when needed. This way Karno and Kayla can show them the ropes and hopefully they will be able to cook without help in the future.

“Ichthys? What are you doing?” Kayla caught him trying to put chilli in the scrambled eggs.

“Nothing.” He quickly hid the bottle behind his back and smiled innocently.

“Mhmm. Then what are you hiding behind your back?” Kayla looked at him sharply, her gaze unwavering.

“What’s this?” Karno suddenly came up from behind and snatched the bottle from his hands.

“Hey!” Ichthys whined.

“Ichthys. We can’t have you causing trouble. We are supposed to be feeding the other students not killing them. As much as I love spicy food myself I won’t allow you to ruin breakfast.” Karno sternly spoke as he scolded him.

(It kinda feels like Karno and I are Ichthys parents. Wait. What am I thinking?!)

Kayla started going red at her crazy thoughts and in hurry went to find something to do in the kitchen so no one would ask why she was blushing.

There was eggs, bacon, sausages, pancakes, toast; a whole range of food was prepared for breakfast.

“Thanks, Kayla. I couldn’t have done this without you.” Karno smiled. Kayla still felt shy being near him after her earlier errant thoughts. “Yes. It was fun.” She smiled, trying to hide how nervous she was.

Thankfully, Ichthys caused no more trouble after that. But maybe only because Karno had his eye on him the entire time. Joshua seemed to be progressing well and if he kept it up he may be more help in the kitchen in the near future.

With breakfast finally done everyone joined together in the dining room to eat.

“Wow. It all looks delicious.” Dui said happily.

“Good work guys. I hope it wasn’t too hard to prepare.” Hue said.

Both Karno and Kayla both simply laughed as they thought of the mischief Ichthys tried to create and how two of the students assigned didn’t even know how to cook.

“Nope. It wasn’t hard at all.” Both Kayla and Karno said in unison, smiling.

Hue thought it was a little strange but didn’t question it.

“Oh la la. I finally get to eat Kayla’s cooking! Mmm, It smells sooo good.” Sophia couldn’t wait to start eating and piled some of everything onto her plate. She sure had a mean appetite on her.

(Wow. How is she so slender when she can eat just as much as a man? Now that’s a girl who loves her food.) Though Kayla knew how she felt, she was very much a food lover herself. Maybe that was why she loved cooking so much.

“Thanks for the food.” Eisuke said to Kayla, he sat further down the table this time.

Kayla was stunned by his sudden gratitude and wasn’t sure what to say and instead only mumbled a soft “You’re welcome.” as her cheeks became a little flushed.

“You and Karno work well together.” It was Wilfred who spoke this time. He happened to be the one sitting next to Kayla.

“You think so?” Kayla asked and Wilfred nodded. “I was watching you cook.”

“Y-You were?” Kayla started to fret as she knew he must have seen her and Karno scold Ichthys. “You still managed to make all this food and in such short time despite the other two not knowing their way around a kitchen. That takes real teamwork.” Wilfred smiled, impressed. “I very much look forward to cooking with you in a few days. I hope we too will have similar teamwork.”

Kayla was surprised to hear him say that. It made her feel happy.

(Teamwork? I didn’t think that. Hehe, I guess Karno and I were pretty awesome.)

Kayla smiled brightly, “I look forward to cooking with you too.”

“And maybe we can grow even closer over time…” Wilfred mumbled to himself and went back to eating.

(What did he just say? I couldn’t quite make it out…) Kayla couldn’t stop thinking about what he said during the rest of breakfast. She wish she had listened better to his last words. But there was no time to worry about that now, it was time to get to class.

Sophia and Kayla headed to the main building together. Kayla noticed along the way, people kept giving her strange looks but so far no one had made the move to approach her and instead they kept their distance, at least for now.

The main building where all the classes was held. It would be no exaggeration to say it was not only huge but very extravagant. It’s appearance was definitely worthy of it’s reputation.

(Wow. This place is amazing. I feel so out of place.) Though Kayla wore the same uniforms as everyone else she could see how much more refined everyone else was. She already felt it back at the dorm but that was only twenty one other students, now there is thousands. It was much more intimidating.

“It looks easy to get lost in here.” Kayla said, starting to get worried after she had only got lost the day before.

“Don’t worry. I know my way around like the back of my hand. Stick with me and you’ll have no fear.” Sophia smiled reassuringly.

(Huh? Isn’t this her first year here? How does she know the place so well…?)

As Kayla thought that Sophia suddenly gasped.

“What is it?” Kayla asked and Sophia jumped and put her hands on Kayla’s shoulders as she looked at her face. “Don’t worry. You just stay right here and I will be right back.” Sophia said and started to leave, “Just stay right there, okay? I forgot my textbook. I will go get it and be right back.” And just like that she ran away.

“Uhh! Um…” Kayla tried to call out to her but she was already gone, her shoulders slumped as her head dropped. She started to feel anxious all alone. And everyone was still staring at her.

“Look who we have here. The poor girl who won the scholarship.”

(What?)

Kayla looked up and saw a group of three girls heading her way. The one who looked like their leader wore a very nasty look. It was like she was disgusted just seeing Kayla.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say then please leave.” Kayla said and tried to turn away but the girl wouldn’t let her.

“Oh-ho? The filthy common girl thinks she can order me around. What gall!” She starts to laugh and the other two laugh along with her. “Now listen here.” The girl suddenly grabbed Kayla’s collar, “Just because you won the scholarship doesn’t mean the students at this school will accept you. You are an outsider. To phrase it in a way your puny brain will understand: You do not belong here. You should leave before you get hurt.”

Kayla glared at the girl as she spoke. She could feel her blood start to boil. Even someone timid like her couldn’t just take that kind of trash talk. “Nonsense.” Kayla muttered.

“What did you say?” The girl’s face contorted. How dare she speak back to her she thought.

Kayla started to laugh, “Is the rich girl so insecure about herself that she has to bully others now? Are you one of those people with a tragic backstory. You know the people who think because they were hurt they can now hurt others?” Kayla said, smirking.

The girl looked absolutely enraged. She let go of Kayla’s collar with extreme force making Kayla fall backwards slightly.

“How dare you. You have no right to even be speaking to me. You… You hideous monster!” She now started to attack Kayla’s appearance. “As long as you go to this school I will be watching you.” She glared at school, shooting her daggers.

But Kayla just shrugged. “Sorry, I don’t listen to little kids. Maybe you should go home to your mother.”

“Why you-!” The girl suddenly moved to smack Kayla on the face but…

“That’s enough.”

Karno, Eisuke and Wilfred appeared. Karno held the girl’s hand and kept holding it as he pulled her away from Kayla and the three of them protected her from the nasty girl.

“What is the meaning of this? Why are you protecting that wench?!” The girl spat in anger.

Eisuke started to chuckle, “Wench? Have you looked in a mirror recently.”

“What?” The girl was horrified.

“This girl happens to be our friend. And no one messes with another’s friend.” Karno said.

“Friend? How can you even associate with the common people. The thought disgusts me. She must have brainwashed you!”

Now Wilfred had to stop himself from laughing as he smiled wryly, “I am very much myself. I don’t choose my friends based on social class. Only a detestable human would do such a thing.” The girl gasped, she was getting attacked from every corner by these men and she didn’t like it one bit.

“Now I remember. You are Emma. Second year at Voltage High and act like you own the place.” Karno said, starting to laugh as he recalled. “Sorry, if you think you will mess with Kayla then your reign will end here.”

All three glared at her looking dead serious.

“If you even think of touching her.”

“You will regret it.”

“We don’t care who you are. We won’t take kindly to you hurting her.”

“So get lost. Now.”

They all said one after another.

Emma utterly furious but knowing this was a losing battle, stormed off.

Kayla was in awe from what she just witnessed. Seeing them all defend her with unwavering resolve moved her deeply. She had only just met them but they had already accepted her and saw her as their friend.

(Oh gosh. I am so happy I may cry.)

The three turned around and saw Kayla tearing up.

“Hey, don’t cry on us now.” Karno said, looking flustered when he saw her nearly in tears.

“You still gotta go to class, this is no time for tears.” Eisuke said.

“I’m glad you are okay.” Wilfred said softly, smiling.

Eisuke then whispered to Kayla, “Didn’t I say we would be here to protect you? Looks like I was able to keep that promise.” Eisuke finished and slowly backed away, smiling at Kayla.

Kayla was left speechless and felt her heart start to speed up as she realized how meaningful those words he told her last night had been but her thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sounds of someone shouting.

“I’m baaaack!” Suddenly Sophia made her grand reappearance. “Huh. What’s going on?” Sophia looked at the three men and to Kayla who was nearly crying. “What did you do?” Sophia quickly rushed to Kayla’s side and distanced her from the three men. “If you hurt Kayla I won’t forgive you.” She said, hugging Kayla and glaring at the others.

All three burst into laughter confusing Sophia. They started to explain what happened and Sophia realizing she was mistaken broke out into apology. “Sorry!” She bowed over and over. “I am so sorry Kayla. I shouldn’t have left you just to retrieve my left book.” Sophia sighed, “Once again my forgetfulness has caused trouble.” She mumbled looking annoyed with herself.

Kayla was surprised to see Sophia get so worked up. She was acting very different to her normal self. It showed just how much she cared, and not only her but everyone. They were all willing to fight and protect her.

“Don’t we all have to go to English now?” Kayla started to panic as she lost track of time. Class would be starting at any moment. English was one of the classes they all shared.

“Yeah. We were heading there when we saw you.” Karno said.

Kayla felt a little bad that they may be late because of her but she was extremely thankful they did stop for her.

They all hurried to make their way to class. It wouldn’t do to be too late on their first day.

The five of them burst into the room together. Everyone else was already there- that is everyone else living in their dorm. This English class was held specifically for everyone in dorm A. This was only one of the many things done differently at this college.

The teacher gave them pointed looks for being late and told them to go take their seats. Kayla started to panic thinking she was going to have a grumpy teacher in this class. He really didn’t look too happy they were late. There was only enough chairs and tables for the current amount of students living in dorm A. Being late they had to take the last chairs that were available.

There was still several chairs by the window unoccupied. Kayla rushed to get one of them. Eisuke then took the chair in front of her while Karno took the chair behind her. Wilfred sat to the right of her while Sophia sat in the chair in front of Wilfred. And so it turned out the five of them all sat close together. Behind Wilfred was Hue and in front of Eisuke was Leon. Karno happened to have Ichthys sitting behind him, that will probably keep his heart rate up.

Once everyone was seated the teacher started to introduce himself.

“I am Yamato Kougami and I will be teaching English in this class for the next three years. I expect you all to be well behaved students.” He said looking stern but then broke out into a smile, “I hope we all get along over these three years. If any one you ever have a problem or need someone to talk to please feel free to approach me.”

Yamato started to talk about himself a little so everyone could understand him better and expressed how he wanted everyone to enjoy learning and to have fun doing it. He wanted to challenge his students but he also didn’t want them to feel pressured and get run down because of it.

Kayla was in shock. He was the complete opposite of what she had expected. Not to mention he was handsome to boot. Kayla could get use to being taught by him for the next three years.

After that, class went smoothly. They pretty much had an easy period as Yamato wanted to ease them into the class. The day had quickly gone by and the first day was soon over.

Kayla and Sophia returned to the dorm together.

“Woo. We survived day one!” Sophia cheered and raised her hand to Kayla to give a high five.

“Um, yeah.” Kayla wasn’t sure how to react but decided to go along with it and clapped Sophia’s hand, “We live to see another day!” She cheered.

Sophia smiled happily in approval, “That’s the spirit! To survive college we need to stay positive. Every day that passes is one day sooner to graduation.”

Kayla smiled watching Sophia. She always had so much energy it was amazing. Though… Kayla couldn’t help but wonder what secrets Sophia had she wasn’t willing to share. It was subtle but Kayla noticed changes in her demeanor at times. It was almost like this cheery persona she displayed was to hide something much much deeper.

Once everyone had returned to the dorm, Hue had gathered everyone together into the living room to discuss and important matter with everyone.

That is the clubs everyone would be joining. Clubs worked differently at this college. Each dorm was to make their own clubs and participate in them. And in dorm A it was decided between Karno and Hue (after being picked to be the dorms student council and class president) that they would focus on drama and music. Hue being in charge of drama and Karno would do music.

Now what needed to be discussed was who would be joining what club.