#uh the answer is no lol

[justsescape]

Can a cow be too fat?

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURP!!"

Nyx had become a proverbial mountain of fat; her body filled the capacity of an airplane hangar. Rolling waves of skin resembled the dimples and folds of raw pancake batter as they piled themselves atop the concrete. Breasts -- each large enough to rival entire biplanes -- lurched themselves over the only thing bigger than them: her gut. Its rumbling was like thunder. Perhaps she had buried a couple of buildings underneath its weight.

"BWOOOOOOUUUURRRRRRRP-HYIUCK!" Nyx's head emerged from her body the same way someone's would if they were buried in sand at the beach. Every gaseous expulsion left the flabby flesh surrounding it rippling like a pond. "HIC! HIC-URP-HIC!"

Lips, dripping with drool, opened and closed rhythmically almost as if she was chewing gum -- not that she was chewing anything at all. At least, not yet. Her dull, hazy gaze craned upward toward a distant feeding tube connected to the ceiling. Unable to lift her tree-trunk arms, all Nyx could do to vocalize her appetite was belch, hiccup, or moo. Sometimes, all three at once.

"MoooOOUHOUROKUOOOOORP!!!"

The call was heard. The pipe descended. Nyx's gaping mouth wrapped thoughtlessly around it. Gulp... gulp... gulp... Drooping nipples lazily produced milk that ran like little streams down the folds of her lard-laden body. Her fat had long since found its way into her lactation: it wasn't so much milk that she was making as much as it was heavy cream. It clumped up in the countless crevices that wrapped around her entire gluttonous frame.

From Nyx's limited perspective, the world was but a pale, endless horizon of lard below, and a cold, metal ceiling above. The feeding tube delivered euphoric sensations. It was her escape. The bigger she grew, the more she pressed into the walls. The more she pressed into the walls, the less they could do to confine her. The less confined she was, the more she could grow. The cycle repeated. Fat was freedom.

Nyx swelled like a balloon connected to a garden hose.

[gael-garcia]

LMAO

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Completely normal out of context and out of character clips

[lm-tomatito]

Espio introduces his favorite music to silver... Hatsune Miku

I think Silver definitely is the Miku fan between them, she's the future diva after all, and some Miku stuff must survive an apocalypse for sure, so he'd know about her. I know it would actually be Mika, the Sonic universe's version of Miku, but uh,I didn't have a reference, and I hadn't draw Miku in a while so I used this as an excuse lol Also, I have a feeling that, if Espio was in the fandom, he'd be the type to like the less popular or maybe even obscure ones. Maybe he likes VY1 and VY2. Maybe he has a like-hate type of deal with Gakupo, who knows. He definitely supports Silver's Miku enthusiasm though

[misc-obeyme]

🍄 coming in for laughs So imagine lucifer and mc switching bodies for a day. Satan needs to learn how to store the cursed tomes. Mc makes lucifer swear to behave like nothing happened. At RAD Dia obv figures out mc is lucifer for today, and so mc is excused from work. Meanwhile, lucifer needs to handle all his brothers touching, flirting, suggestions, secrets, not being able to be as intimidating, body is too small, where the fuck are my wings, why is your skin like that. At some point mammon even picks mc up on his shoulder and runs away. Attempted kisses. Total chaos. But he is too prideful to go back on his promise. At evening in the common room, they are back in their bodies, mc sitting on the couch, stifling a laugh, lucifer standing there embarrassed to his core, the rest come in, and find out the truth. A week later, Satan still hasn't come out of his room, Mammon can't look lucifer in the eye, Asmo gets flustered just thinking how close he was to lucifer having him on the table (in his imagination at least), Solomon wishes he asked mc for a pact while he could've, maybe it would work like that What do you think about the rest pf the characters? Ps. I love torturing lucifer, it's a hobby at this point

OH NO poor Lucifer!!!

MC being kinda mean by making him promise not to tell! They had to know he'd suffer at the hands of everyone believing he was them.

Then again, maybe it's good for him to experience a day being MC. He can finally know what it's like for MC to deal with this nonsense every day lol.

I love the idea that Diavolo figures it out almost immediately. Like MC shows up in Lucifer's body, ready to pretend to be him and get work done. At first Dia's like hmm okay.

But then MC does something too un-Lucifer like and Dia's like okay what gives. Who are you and what have you done with Lucifer. And MC just caves.

I can kinda see Levi just being unaffected. Like maybe he didn't even go to RAD that day and he's been holed up in his room playing some video game and missed the whole thing. 'Cause if he thought he was having some kinda sweet moment with MC and then found out later it was Lucifer, I promise the HoL will be flooded shortly thereafter.

Beel takes it in stride. He just goes over to Lucifer and says "Sorry for what I did when I thought you were MC." And Lucifer sighs and looks aggrieved, but he's like it's fine. 'Cause who could stay mad at sweet precious Beel?

Belphie is devastated, but like hell he's gonna let anyone know. Says he doesn't care and goes to sleep. Later finds MC and is like, here's what I did when I thought Lucifer was you. It was terrible. How could you make me suffer like this.

Barbatos would know, I don't think he'd be fooled at all. He keeps the secret, but he's just laughing about the whole situation on the inside.

Simeon is confused. Wait. MC was actually Lucifer? Oh. Oh no. He's gonna be apologizing to Lucifer for anything he did when he thought Lucifer was MC, even if he didn't do anything lol. Lucifer's just like please let us not speak of it.

I love that Solomon is disappointed he lost his chance to try for a pact. Lucifer is just like it's never gonna happen.

Satan receives an unfortunately long lecture about the correct storage of cursed books.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

It's funny that the hubris of characters like Zhao Jing is always pride (he's greedy, too, sure, but that's just to feed his huge, fragile ego), while Jin Guangyao's downfall was actually his mercy.

Also as far as WoH characters go, I think Jiggy has more in common with the little scorpion.

truly it is jin guangyao's compassion and mercy that come back to bite him in the ass. evidence:

everyone who ultimately contributes to killing him are people whose lives he has literally saved in the past, or whose lives he has devoted himself to improving in some way. he saved nie mingjue's life during the confrontation with wen ruohan in the scorching sun palace; he saved AND protected lan xichen and what was left of the gusu lan library after the razing of the cloud recesses; he doted on and cared for and saw nie huaisang as more than simply nie mingjue's disappointing, childish successor, and solved his problems for him for well over a decade after nie mingjue's death.

he could have killed sisi after realizing she was among the sex workers who raped jin guangshan to death, but he didn't, specifically because she was kind to him and meng shi; (nobody @ me about the imprisonment, i'm not saying any of that was good. but he could not harm her more than he already had.)

he has so many opportunities during the guanyin temple sequence to kill every single one of his hostages, which would certainly make recovering meng shi's remains less difficult (before he realizes her remains are missing)--but he doesn't.

i'm sure there are more examples of course, but those are the ones that immediately leap to mind. as for the comparison to xie'er.... hmm. there are definitely some superficial similarities, but i really don't think anyone in word of honour is a suitable comparison to jin guangyao honestly. i'll have to mull it over some more, but as i've said before, jin guangyao is such a unique character in the genre that he is tricky to make these kinds of comparisons about.

[mywaywardcupcake]

I had missed the pride prompt earlier this week so no pressure if you cant get to this but Bi Joey Bi Joey Bi Joey Bi Joey

I will NEVER say no to BI JOU!!!

[midnightmah07]

Hello Mah! ♡

I hope you're doing well ♡

I noticed you were doing sketch requests, and I was wondering if I could request Idia please? 👉👈 (If not, I understand! ♡)

Thank you! ♡

Hi Sheepie!!! So happy to see u in my inbox, here u are, one Idia coming right up🫡

[spaciebabie]

AUTISM POG

[demaparbat-hp]

Dema can you make Zuko and Katara kiss in your next art. Please, pretty please. I can give you my spine if you want.

You know, this ask just made me realize that my ZK artworks are like a slow burn—we're all waiting for the kiss.

[ioniansunsets]

AAA HI i adore all your heartsteel content so much!! could i humbly beg for some ezreal content? <3 thank you!!

✖ Heartsteel!Ezreal Crushing On Photographer!Reader ✖

✖ Word Count: 1.3K

✖ Tags: Mutual Pining

✖ A/N: Everyone around you two ships you guys together, you and Ez are just oblivious. Maybe if you guys like this we’ll write a confession or established r/s sometime <3 This is shorter than usual but I hope it's still cute!

✖ Wrote This Listening To: https://open.spotify.com/track/79O9h4Q9w1X6w3tHTJSu8y?si=303aa73e776b48a9 Felt it was appropriately what Ezreal would listen to hype himself up everytime he sees you.

----

How did he even end up like this really.

Ezreal sits quietly in his dressing room. Leg shaking, fingers tapping the table, he’s jittery, anxious, so unlike him. So unlike the proud glimmering star that he knew he was. Like, he knows he looks great, his hair is styled now, he has all his makeup on making his already stunning features all the more enchanting. He’s properly styled in new branded clothes, all pinned to fit him perfectly, his waist and abs on show in the tight fitting top. He knew he looked fucking amazing but for some reason he just couldn’t help but to doubt himself. You were out there waiting after all. You were the one waiting for him to act all cute and charming. You were the one who knew how to make him look the best he ever has in almost every single photo. This was really so unlike him! Ezreal laughs at his insecurities, about to run his hands through his hair before realizing that the hairdresser was glaring at him. He holds back.

Instead, Ezreal sighs. Leaning back into the plush chair. The stylists fussing over him and holding up all these sponsored outfits for him, asking which he wants to wear next for the new magazine spread. Yet…all he can think about is how he would look in front of you. What would you like? Did you even like his type of cute and charming? What if you were more into people like Yone or Kayn. Ezreal pouts just thinking about it. It was unfair that you got to photograph them all, he just wishes he could keep you as his own personal photographer. So unfair that you got to look at all the other guys the same way you looked at him. But honestly, ask anyone of your friends and co-workers and they’ll tell Ezreal how special he was. How his fears were unfounded for he somehow was the perfect model for you. The way all of your best works and award winning shots were of Ezreal? How you stayed up editing multiple photos of his photoshoot photos, wanting him to look as stunning as possible. Everyone could tell you were a big fan, everyone except Ezreal himself.

So as he steps out and the studio lights hit him, the sparkle of his shimmery makeup making him look as ethereal as possible you can’t help but feel a flutter in your chest. Truly stunning, there was no other way to describe this idol other than that he was absolutely stunning.

“ Hey there. Uh yeah, let’s do this.”

Well that was awkward, he gives you a practiced wave and walks over to the set. Sitting with his legs crossed on the decorative throne. Head resting on his hands as he poses himself for you. You snap away, Ezreal fishing for praises from you, a bright smile on his face. Both of you doing your best to ignore the obvious blush on his face, it was just makeup right? Definitely just makeup.

The rest of the shoot went by smoothly. Honestly, being the one to get such up close and personal shots of Ezreal was…nice. After the makeup artist and stylists touch up his makeup, his eyes slowly make their way to you. He watches you fiddle with the camera while the other employees fuss over his hair and face. Taking in the sight of your serious expression as you pick the best shots. The way the corners of your lips curve up into a smile when you find good shots. Laughing softly to himself as he watches your nose crinkle when you scroll past a bad photo. Suddenly you look up and wave at him.

“ Hey Ez, which would be better? I’m not sure if the blue or yellow lights are the way to go for this one so I’m leaving it up to you.”

You call out to him during the break between set changes to take a look. Hand out to beckon him over.

“ Hmm? Can I See?”

Ezreal thanks the stylists working on him before he blinks over behind you. Carefully, he leans over your shoulder, hands reaching over to cover yours as he tilts the camera and the screen up towards him. A slight look of wonder on his face as he flips through the photos, amazed at how good you somehow make him look. Unedited photos and he already looks so good? Damn how did you give him such sex appeal while making him still look so cute. Gods bless you for being good at your job. Clicking left and right over and over before he finally decides on the one he wants.

“ Honestly the blue looks super good on my skin-”

As Ezreal turns to look at you with a smile on his face he pauses suddenly. Alarmingly aware of how his hands are on yours, how your face is a mere breath away, how your back was pressed against his chest, how your gorgeous sparkling eyes widen as you stare back, also suddenly shockingly aware of how close he is to you.

Ezreal swallows hard.

An awkward laugh leaving his lips as he blinks at you. If the two of you weren’t so caught up in the moment, you’d see the other staff members turning to look away, trying to give you two a semblance of privacy during this tender moment.

“ Sorry I didn’t-”

“ No don’t worry I don’t mind!”

After another moment of awkward silence, staring at each other, the two of your burst out laughing. Ezreal giving you a quick hug after he lets go of your hands. Friendly! Nothing too weird or out of character for him! Just Ezreal being Ezreal!

Only the pink dusting on both your cheeks hint at anything more between you two. But he was an idol and you were but his work colleague, a photographer. There can’t be anything between you two. You wave off the thought and thank him for his input as you pull the expensive camera close to your chest again.

“ I’ll uh, work on these and get them back to your manager tomorrow.”

“ Mmm, and thank you for your hard work as always. I look forward to the photos.”

Ezreal’s expression changes to a soft smile as he lovingly looks at you before he pauses and pulls out his phone. Doing his best to change the subject to relieve the awkward tension that now hung in the air around the studio.

“ Oh Yeah! I used our last shoot photo as my wallpaper! It was that good! I forgot to give you feedback on how much I liked it. Or maybe I did…hmm…”

He laughs, holding up his phone screen with a the solo shoot photos from a few weeks back. Trust this proud idol to use his own photos as his lock screen and home screen.

“ I am honored you like it that much then but yes, you blew up my messages with thanks when I sent it to you. Don’t worry, I know you love it.”

As you laugh in return, giving him a similarly warm smile from such close proximity, Ezreal feels his chest tighten. The furious beating of his heart was sure to give him a heart attack. A stupid love struck look on his face now.

“ I’ll go um, change for the next set. See you later.”

Before you can reply he blinks away back into his dressing room. The cycle of anxiety to repeat yet again. This was going to be a long shoot day…

[skyloftian-nutcase]

This prompt is your free ticket to write GanonDad stuff! I'll take anything as long as Ganon's being a good dad :3

Ganondorf had never seen the sea.

Some called the desert a sea, or said that it used to be one. All Ganondorf could see in the desert was death.

He'd heard tales of it when he visited Castle Town. People described it as endless, in varying shades of blue that could swallow one whole. It had sounded fantastical and exaggerated, powerful and enticing and so foreign he could hardly put a picture to it. It hadn't mattered all that much back then, once he'd realized the sea didn't have water that was actually drinkable - what use was it to him, then?

He'd learned of its depths when he met Nabooru. There was a teenager who went by that name in his barren wasteland, spunky and capable but defiant. But when he was brought to this new land through Din's blessing, he'd met someone of the same name who was far different. She was the Gerudo's chief.

She was more than just a chief, though, she was a queen. She didn't just lead a small group of thieves picking at scraps in the desert, she ruled over an entire civilization.

Ganondorf had challenged her, of course. He was the rightful ruler of the Gerudo, after all.

He'd lost.

Despite his anger, despite his attempt to overthrow her, Nabooru spared him, letting him stay in the outskirts of her capital city, Lagema.

Ganondorf felt frustration and jealousy boil his blood. He'd had the power of a goddess at the point of being executed by the sages, yet when he needed it now, Din stole it away from him. Instead, he was left to suffer the indignity of seeing a Gerudo prospering under someone else's rule.

It was almost as if Din did this just to show him he couldn't succeed. And he would not let that stand.

But the longer he lingered here, the more he saw of these people, the more he saw her...

The woman was bathed in power. She wore it like the fine silk head scarf she sometimes showcased for celebrations. Red, dripping in precious gems, jingling with every step from decorative jewelry all over her arms, her belly and hips, her ears, her wrists, and her ankles, strong in stance, muscles sculpted by the goddess Farore herself...

And her eyes. Bluer than the sky, infinite in their depths, drawing him in every time he looked at them, daring him to try her, calm and quiet and dangerous. They held the vastness and power that people spoke of in relation to the ocean, all encapsulated in such beauty.

He’d finally seen the sea. And it was breathtaking.

Ganondorf had never felt this way before. He didn't know what it was. He just wanted to get closer to her again. To fight her, to prove himself, to win.

It was maddening. It was invigorating.

It was far worse when those oceans actually looked at him, when they focused on him. He could hardly articulate himself sometimes when they started to speak, and he despised that. He stepped up more, became bolder, and as time passed, this woman became more than just a challenge; she became an adventure, and, eventually, a partner.

When their children had been born, he'd never suspected he'd find her ocean eyes in their little boy.

It was fascinating, beautiful to watch how their children reflected them. Hemisi bore her mother's facial structure paired her father's amber eyes and leaf shaped ears. Merovar was the spitting image of his father, but with his mother's eyes, captivating in their blue. They didn't reflect the silent power that his mother bore, though - they were ravenous, hunting for whatever his ambitious heart could reach, just like his father. Despite this, though, Hemisi was the one with true fire, rambunctious and temperamental and the superior warrior.

His twins were his world. He’d never been so utterly overrun by so many emotions, so dedicated to others. He’d build and destroy kingdoms for them.

Many moons after their birth, Ganondorf found his son on the balcony of their palace, staring out at the night sky. The streets of Lagema were still vaguely splashed with color from the festival, though the harsh winds and sands were slowly washing it away, bringing a drab tan back to the world as they prepared for the moment of truth.

The world was silent in anticipation. Hemisi was fast asleep, having let her father carry her to bed after he'd told her and Orik a story. Nabooru was gathering forces in the other settlements. Orik was resting, blissfully unaware of what was to come.

Merovar glanced at Ganondorf with his ocean eyes, blue coloring near black in the darkness, face uncharacteristically worried.

"What is it?" the Gerudo king asked quietly.

Merovar sighed, looking away. "The assault. It's going to change everything."

"For the better," Ganondorf pointed out. "Don't tell me you're having reservations like Hemisi."

Hemisi had argued time and again that they didn't need the Triforce, that an ancient sacred relic didn't matter because they had what they needed. Nabooru looked at it more as a potential threat if relations between the Gerudo and Hyrule broke down.

Ganondorf saw an opportunity. He'd desired this power most of his life. Once he'd learned of its existence here, he'd renewed his search for it. Merovar had seemed on board.

"I... don't know," his son finally said, looking at his hands resting on the balcony railing. "Such power is... I want it. But we're going to start a war."

"Not necessarily," Ganondorf assured him with a rumble of satisfied amusement in his chest. "They won't stand a chance against us once we have it. It'll be a skirmish at best."

"And then?" Merovar asked, glancing back at him for guidance. "Will we really rule over it all?"

Ganondorf rested his hand on his boy's shoulder. "Yes, we will. All of Hyrule will be ours."

Finally. The winds of Hyrule would belong to him and his family.

His children. He'd share this prosperity with them. He'd protect them with it. His entire life, Ganondorf had been looked to for safety and guidance - it had been an expectation a s a burden. But now, he finally felt... happy to give it.

He moved his hand to sweep up and down his son's back briefly, a promise of love and a reassurance. Merovar relaxed under the touch, smiling a little, excitement glittering in his blue eyes like stars in the night sky.

But it hadn't gone that way. The Triforce had fractured, the world had gone awry, and war had broken out.

And one by one, his family had fallen apart.

Nabooru had turned against him. They'd fought, and she'd died. Ganondorf repeated over and over that she had started it, that she had attacked him. His hands didn't tremble as much anymore thinking about it. Instead, all he felt was rage.

The rage grew when Merovar fell in battle. When Hemisi was captured and subsequently betrayed him. His grief was inconsolable, dying heart replaced with a furnace of pure hatred. He didn't even see the fear in his little girl's eyes anymore when he fought her, Link, and the queen that final day.

Yet time and torture had a way of cooling such hatred. Solitude brought contemplation. But resentment, fear, hurt remained.

And on a battlefield millennia later, Ganondorf froze at the sight of blue cutting through a sea of armor.

A blue scarf. Just like Link. A fierce cry of rage. Just like Hemisi.

And those ocean eyes. Just like Merovar, like Nabooru.

That day, Ganondorf saw the sea once more.

[skyward-floored]

BUT ALSO IMAGINE THEM HAVING A GIRL AFTER ALL OF THOSE BOYS

- hero-of-the-wolf

Oh my gosh ksdfgbjfsgvjfh Malon would be so happy— like she’s never sorry she’s had all boys, but there’s a part of her that’s always wondered what it’d be like having a girl. And then she doesn’t even expect to have any more kids, and then suddenly she is and it ends up being a girl. Everyone is beyond shocked XD

And Echo having six older brothers LOL nobody would touch her 🤣

[lm-tomatito]

Imagine: espilver but cosplaying one of your other fandoms OTPs

Uh, here, tried my best lol I didn't want to draw Genshin and I couldn't pick an HM ship that fit them, so I went with this, which I think matches them pretty well, at least because of the colors. It's been years since I did anything floko related, or anything related to Vflower or Piko in general. Went with something of a redraw, kinda, using designs I made for them since I admittedly don't have the energy to draw their original outfits :')

[playername-player-of-games]

More of @chrisrin‘s gemcyt au :D part 2 to this!

//

Earth is…different.

It’s been raining for three days, (at least that’s what Etho called it, back when they landed). Three days of rain, no light from this system’s sun. Outside is reflecting how he feels inside, gray and storming and he’s-

He’s never going to see his diamond again.

It’s fine. That’s fine. He doesn’t think about it. He can’t think about it, not when it makes him feel like he’s raining.

He’s thinking about it.

She was beautiful, graceful- let him speak and laughed at his jokes. She complimented his fighting, thanked him when he helped her with even the smallest things- things he shouldn’t have been thanked for, in all honesty, like opening doors, or turning off the lights.

Stars, he’s really never going to see her again.

He curls further into himself. He’d reformed with a hooded cloak this time, the desire to hide manifesting physically as soon as he’d Reformed on the ship. He’d had to Reform twice, the first he did himself, without Etho saying he could. He’d been poofed immediately and whisked back into a drawer for what felt like centuries.

After they made it outside, he was allowed to Reform after the ship took off again. Etho said his hair turned black.

He doesn’t know what Etho’s talking about. He can see it, when he looks up at his fringe. It’s a darker green now.

It doesn’t matter. He’s never going to see his diamond again.

“Pearl?” Etho sing songs, footsteps crunching across the dirt of the kindergarten, “Peaaarl, you in here?”

Pearl stuck himself into one of the many gem-shaped holes in the wall, pressed as far back as he could manage, grateful his cloak is dark enough to blend in with the walls, “Go away, Etho.”

“I brought some friends,” Etho says, his face popping into view as he leans over the opening, setting down an oil lamp to light up the space, “you up for some chitchat?”

Pearl tugs his hood down. “Not really.”

“They’re nice, I promise,” Etho assures him, “they’re some of Impulse’s friends! Impulse was nice, right?”

“I guess.”

Impulse was nice, Etho’s right. Their little tour of Earth’s Gem Base had been brief but informative, with a few landmarks. Impulse’s forge. A warp pad. A crash site. Then Pearl got overwhelmed and ran, warping at random and landing in a kindergarten. Nobody came after him.

Until now.

“Do you wanna come out?” Etho asks.

“Not really.”

Etho laughs, “fair enough,” and disappears.

New footsteps- Pearl catches a flash of green and blue outside.

“I brought an aquamarine and a peridot,” Etho explains, voice louder now that he’s further away from the opening, “Grian and Mumbo. They want to talk to you about stuff.”

“Goodie.”

Etho bids him goodbye, and leaves. Then the aquamarine pushes his way into the hole, with a wide, one-eyed grin. There’s more than enough room for the two of them and all the rain water he’s bringing in here, but Pearl curls further into himself anyway.

“You’re Pink Diamond’s pearl,” remarks the aquamarine.

Pearl bristles, “I was Pink Diamond’s pearl.”

The aquamarine waves him off, “specifics don’t matter. All that matters is whether or not you’d like to overthrow the diamonds.”

Pearl freezes.

“Grian!” The peridot- Mumbo- scolds, “you can’t just say that!”

“Well, why not?” Grian turns around, his wings nearly whacking Pearl in the face, “it’s not like he can say no, if he goes back to Homeworld he’ll be shattered.”

They dissolve into bickering. Pearl doesn’t care. He can’t hear them.

Overthrow the diamonds.

It’s treason. Rebellion. He’s suddenly connecting dots he didn’t realize were there- the crash site. A hidden warp pad. So, so many mismatched gems living together in an uncharted, unregulated base. Not being allowed to Reform on the ship.

Oh stars- what has he gotten himself into?

The aquamarine yelps and disappears with a poof- Mumbo catches him, flustered when Pearl rushes past him, sword in hand, back to the warp pad, back to the warp, to warp, warp warp warp warp warp-

A blinding flash of light- he stumbles off the pad and falls to his knees.

Rebellion. Treason.

If he goes back to Homeworld, he’ll be shattered.

He’s being shattered right now, he thinks- that’s the only way he can think to explain this feeling. He’s being crushed, turned inside out, trying to reform in a place that’s too small. He shouldn’t be here- he’s raining- he should have stayed on Homeworld, should have let himself be-

Someone is humming.

He freezes. He’s good at this- disappearing into the background. He’s nothing. An accessory, a set piece.

He lifts his head.

They’re hovering over a lake (he hadn’t realized he’d warped to a lake), twisting in a way that looks like a dance, something bright and cloud-like in their arms. Something about their posture is familiar- friendly. Pearl pushes himself to his feet- his knees trembling, and forces himself forward.

One foot in front of the other. He makes out features- wings made of water. A bouquet of roses and sunflowers and little red things. Too big to be an aquamarine- a lapis? His gem a little to the left of where Pearl’s is, on his chest, right over where a human heart would be.

His humming has turned to singing. Pearl stops on the bank- he knows this lapis. This was one of the messengers, they used to talk all the time.

What is he doing on Earth?

The lapis bends over, dropping petals into the water, and notices Pearl with barely more than a glance.

“Oh, hello! You’re n-” he does a double take, eyes wide, his smile fond and familiar as if he remembers Pearl too, “you’re Pink Diamond’s pearl!”

This is the same lapis. The one he used to tease and trip in the hallways. They’d salute to each other- then to their diamond- then drop form and laugh. They made jokes- they called each other names and playful insults and make faces at each other when the diamonds weren’t looking. This lapis is- is like home, even after he disappeared for a hundred years without explanation- and he’s here right in front of him. Pearl feels like he’s being shattered all over again.

“Was,” he corrects, “I was Pink Diamond’s pearl.”

Lapis comes to hover in front of him, holding his bouquet. Pearl does not meet his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I uhm-” Pearl pulls his hood down over his eyes, “I fused with her.”

“Oh.”

Raindrops drip down his cheeks- he reaches up to wipe them away, turns his head to the sky and wonders how they’re getting on him if his hood is up. The sky is clear. Lapis lands in front of him, wings disappearing, his mouth a worried line.

“Why is it raining on my face?” Pearl whispers.

Lapis smiles, quiet, warm, and gently pulls Pearl’s hood down to rest on his shoulders, “you’re crying.”

Pearl sniffles, “what does that mean?”

“It means your eyes are making rain on your face,” he explains, still gentle. He tucks a little yellow rose over Pearl’s ear.

“How do I make it stop?”

“It’ll stop on its own, eventually.”

Pearl wipes his eyes on his sleeves. He feels exposed without his hood.

“Lapis-“

“Jimmy.”

Pearl makes a face, “what?”

“My name is Jimmy.”

Pearl scoffs, furiously wiping his eyes again, “what is with you Earth gems and your weird names.”

Jimmy laughs, moving to sit next to Pearl and tugging him down with him, “who have you met?”

“Impulse,” Pearl says, “which sounds dumb, and Mumbo, which sounds dumber, and Grian which sounds like grain!”

Jimmy laughs and nods again, “that’s us.”

“Stupid,” Pearl snaps. He needs his eyes to stop raining now.

“Would you like an earth name?” Jimmy asks, and Pearl scoffs at him again.

His first thought is no, he doesn’t want one. But then he remembers treason, and he remembers rebellion, and he remembers that he’ll be shattered if he goes back to Homeworld, and he thinks of making fun of long winded messages from important gems and making faces at each other behind the Diamond’s backs.

Surely naming himself isn’t the worst thing he’s ever done.

“Maybe.”

“Go on then,” Jimmy says, nudging him with his shoulder. “There’s lots of things to choose from.”

And there are a lot of things to choose from.

He likes the J from Jimmy’s name- it’s a good sounds- he just doesn’t know what comes after it. He looks around for inspiration. Jake isnt right. Jloud sounds weird, and so does Jeaf.

He takes a rose from Jimmy’s bouquet and twirls it around in his fingers- he can’t name himself Jasper, even though he’s off color he wouldn’t ever name himself after another gem. He can’t call himself Jimmy either, because then he’d be naming himself Pearl all over again and that’d just lead to problems.

He thinks further back- Impulse was showing him something at camp. Barrels of something called oil- the stuff in the lamp. Stuff for cooking. It’s stuff that helps other stuff work like it’s supposed to. He figures that’s a good a thing as any.

“Joil.”

“Joil?” Jimmy dissolves into laughter.

“Wha- hey, it’s not like it’s better than Jimmy!”

“No, no, it’s worse!”

Pearl growls at him, trying to be upset, but the way Jimmy is doubled over, cracking up, makes it hard to keep a smile off his face.

“Oh-kay, it’s bad,” he admits, trying and failing in the not laughing department, “but do you have a better idea, oh great Jim?”

“Maybe,” Jimmy straightens, smiling wide, “‘Joil’s’ a bit awkward to say, is all. Why not try Joel?”

He’s gotta admit that is easier to say.

“That’s fine,” Joel says. “You can call me that.”

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, Joel,” Jimmy says, ever smiling, “welcome to Earth.”

[vroomian]

What’s Odyssey’s opinion of yrz when he gets back??

bad :)