#uh! there are also those third party seekers which are just

[steelthroat]

Hasbro literally woke up, made heart of steel, gave us steampunk designs (aka perfection), used them exactly once, and made zero toys or figures of them.

Hasbro, why do you hate my money so much? I want my goth-looking-cannon-gf Megatron or Starscream with cool bat wings, I will not buy your thousandth version of movie Bumblebee, I don't care if it has animal parts.

[outpost51]

Happy WBW! Are there any givens from our world that don't apply in yours? (The laws of gravity, the water cycle, seasons, the hours in a day, day and night cycles, things like that!)

HEY NOPAL YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT SOME FUCKED UP MOONS BECAUSE I MIGHT BE GOING A LITTLE FERAL. Buckle up, FTL in this thing is a little r— aaaA𝒶𝒶𝓐α ⓐ α ᗩ 𝐀 Ⓐα𝒶

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆

┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆

┊ ┊ ★⋆

┊ ◦

★⋆ ┊ . ˚

˚★

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ✧ ✦　　

See we’re fine we survived okay WELCOME BACK TO XATAL!!

Specifically, the Ellyt’it system, third planet.

You want weird gravity?? Fucked up mushrooms?? BIG ANIMALS?? We GOT YOU.

That’s right, we’re talkin about Pruna. You know, where the friendly neighborhood murder mantises come from. Kuzco’s poison. That Pruna. (And her sisters.)

Pruna (PROO-nah) is one of four large moons (Pruna, Kyli, Deoss, and Riepra) orbiting the fuck-off hot gas giant, Yeggoum. While temps range from the delightfully low 568.4 degrees F to a balmy 1,355 degrees F on the blood-red and lilac planet itself, denizens that call Pruna home appreciate a much more reasonable range of -23 to 112 and nice, temperate seasonal change. What it lacks in foliage more interesting than its dry, twisted grass and bioluminescent moss, it makes up for with… uh… well, the giant kailit mushrooms are nice, as long as you don’t leave your government provided dwelling during spore season. That’s right folks! Socialized medicine and housing for everyone! And you’ll need it, too, the flora isn’t the only thing that gets big! :) Everything on this planet can and actively wants to murder you dead and/or eat you, not necessarily in that order. Ritzal, for example, are 12 feet in height — they’re the smallest of the native fauna. They have thumbs and you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Now Kyli (pronounced KAH-lee, not like the Kardashian), she’s a great destination for thrill seekers that aren’t afraid of signing a couple (36) liability waivers and acknowledgement at the docks that they only send out search parties when the storms are over, which could be a few hours orrrrr a few weeks. Two words: floating rocks. Not islands (though some chunks are just, unnecessarily large) but big, jagged bits of rock blown into the air during spontaneous plate-shifting events and stuck there because of fucked-up magnetic nonsense. You'll need an envirosuit to maintain aliveness in the ammonia-methane atmosphere and a fairly hefty oxygen tank if you're planning on exploring for longer than a quirky photo-op -- don't worry, though, it won't be too heavy with Kyli's gravity being around a third of Earth's! And you'll have great fun "rockhopping" -- it's exactly what it sounds like: using jump-jets to propel yourself from one floating rock to the next. There’s a catch, though. You cannot touch the ground. Why? Three times Earth's atmospheric pressure + constant risk of storms = ground winds that pack three times the kinetic punch, and with the lower gravity, those winds are also capable of carrying small rocks. If your feet touch land, you will, in essence, be shot by the wind. The floor is gun. Also, there's tar pits. Of cyanide. And soot clouds. Of cyanide. And lightning. Have fun! :)

Deoss and Riepra aren’t habitable or advisable to visit, BUT they do have a horseshoe orbit and I just think that’s neat.

[annabellumm]

Can we please appreciate Slytherin Dream for a moment?

Pureblood Dream whose mother is the Minister of Magic and whose father is an auror, so he’s always been highly regarded.

He's always around the Ministry of Magic when he was younger while his parents were at work. There, he met other wizards, aurors, and Ministry officials and learned from them.

Dream who has been dreaming about being in Hogwarts since he was young

Because he wanted to meet other wizards his age, instead of the old people working at the Ministry

And he also wanted to prove himself as someone who was also outstanding like his parents, but as an  separate individual

The Sorting Hat took some time to place him in a house because he was courageous enough to be in Griffyindor, intelligent enough to ne in Ravenclaw, and had a lot of heart to be in Hufflepuff.

However, even grander than all of these is Dream's desire to be bigger than himself, to continuously improve, and to be a leader.

Dream who is very smug and tries to appear chill, but spent way too many late nights studying and working on extra credit to achieve his high scores.

Who, because of his high grades, social skills, and attitude, became a prefect in his third year--the youngest to be given this role

Slytherin Dream who is the star seeker and Captain of their Quidditch Team

He is speed.

Dream who can be found usually by the Quidditch Pitch training.

He would be a great chaser, but he loves the speed and challenge of being a seeker.

Dream who loves to show off and does special tricks on the field that he has practiced for so many hours secretly

And gets a bit pouty if his friends aren't the ones cheering the loudest at his Quidditch Games

"Are you still being a big baby?"

"..."

"Oh come on, Dream. What was I supposed to do?

"You were supposed to cheer for me, George!"

"You were against Ravenclaw! I'm supposed to root for my own house."

Dream who, because of his family lineage and status, feels a lot of pressure to be the best

There were so many nights where he questioned whether this need to be the best is inherently his or from his parents

Which is why he likes being around his friends George, Sapnap, Bad, Karl, and Quackity

With them, he's not the Minister's son, or a dignified pureblood, or a Slytherin prefect. He's just Dream who is confident and flirty and dorky and laughs the hardest out of all of them.

Dream who loves a good challenge and always tries to be ahead of his studies

He's great all at subjects (except for Divination because he thinks its absolute garbage), but his favorite is Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Dream who is great at Potions as well and would sometimes try and sneak some potions away.

He does have a soft spot for Care of Magical Creatures, and his favorite creature is a dragon.

Slytherin Dream who's fighting for the spot of Head of the Dueling Club against Techno. He's one of the top duelers in his year and actively participates in club activities and matches.

Who is chill enough to agree with Tubbo on the existence of some made-up creature and keep the bit going, but passionate enough to start debating with Bad on the morality of using certain spells in Charms class.

Dream who plans to become a Minister of Magic just like his mother

Although some part of him just wants to be an auror and join George, Sapnap, and Bad

Or maybe a Quidditch Player. Or maybe all three.

A lot of First Years look up to him because of his status and because he's so nice to younger wizards.

Because he remembers clearly how much of an absolute wreck he was on the way to Hogwarts. But when a certain upperclassman Ravenclaw joined him in his compartment and made him feel at ease, he knew that he had to do his best to make sure no First Year goes through that.

Dream who has a special spot on the Grounds under a tree where him, George, Sapnap, Bad, Quackity, and Karl hang out frequently.

Students have called it the DTree for giggles.

Dream who wears the Slytherin colors with pride and incorporates it into his casual clothes

And although he likes his wizarding clothes, he loves to wear the green muggle hoodies that George and Bad gifted him for Christmas

Dream who has a parrot instead of an owl to deliver his letters because why not

Who has a lighthearted competition with Tommy from Gryffindor for the position of best seeker in Hogwarts

But he will always train with Tommy if the boy asks for help

Dream who sometimes goes to George's or Sapnap's for Christmas and holidays

Even though he loves his parents and spending time at home, he actually prefers Christmas with his friends. He can't stand another fancy Christmas party at home where people only care about his achievements and not him.

Dream who always helps out anyone in need without a price or condition

Who, as a Slytherin Prefect and future Head Boy, is a tiny bit biased towards his friends and would let them get away with more stuff than others

His professors try to turn a blind eye on this because they don’t want to get in the way of his path to becoming Head Boy, and most of the things that they do are harmless anyway.

“Quackity, why are you carrying a box of full of fireworks?”

“Uh, just a uhm...it’s none of your business?”

“...okay. Just make sure to take the far right corridor so no one spots you, and if that’s a business, owl me a portion of your profits.”

Dream who has won the Quidditch Cup a couple of times

People always wonder how he’s able to stay on top of his class while being the Quidditch Captain and practicing dueling regularly.

The answer is a secret time-turner that he asked his parents for.

Slytherin Dream who is known to successfully sweet-talk even the strictest professors into either overlooking something his housemate did or giving him a favor

Boy has a silver tongue developed by years of being around schmoozing adults and he knows how to use it

Dream who sits in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor table at every meal just to talk to his friends

He will challenge anyone to a duel if they talk negatively about any of his friends, especially George. Even if they so much as look at him wrong. 

Because he’s loyal to his friend to the very end.

He even buys out the sweets cart for his friends and gives lavish gifts just because

Dream who has been offered to try out professional Quidditch teams such as Montrose Magpies and Chudley Cannons after Hogwarts

He’s still debating about doing it or not. It’s not every day that you get offered an opportunity like that.

Dream who can be seen flying multiple paper cranes with secret notes at night and in between classes just so he can continue talking to his friends when they’re far away. 

He even has portkeys that transports him to his friends’ houses. The feeling of traveling using those things was definitely uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t hesitate to use one if needed.

Slytherin Dream, you guys!

A/N: And here's my headcannon for Slytherin Dream! As always, if you have any additional headcannons or if you have any suggestions for the other dsmp charcaters, hit me up in my ask box! I'd love to hear your thoughts! Also, please click on “Masterlist” below to see other hcs that I’ve made.

Masterlist 

[certainglitterhologram]

The Thomas-Finnigan Kids. Part 2

(Since you all loved it so much, here is a part two! Let me know if you want a part three.)

Finn came out to his family, as gay, about a week before Pride Month, and about a week before school ended. He still needed to tell his friends at school, but he’s in no hurry. I mean, that’s scary as it is, but his circle of friends also included Wyatt. The whole reason Finn found out he was gay. How the fuck was Finn going to explain that to Wyatt?

He wanted to go to his dads for advice, but quickly thought better of it. After all, they are his parents and would probably tease him mercilessly.  Seamus has the maturity of a two year old, and Dean was rather indesicive. Finn decided to go to Mikayla. With any other sibling pair, it would have been the opposite, where Finn tells his parents, but Mika was different. Mika was smart. She was calm and quiet. Observant, too. She knew when to judge and not to judge, although she could be silently judging you the whole time, and no one would know, as she has a talent for lying and keeping her face emotionless. She was great for when you needed a non-biased opinion. The definition of a Wallflower.

Mika and Finn decided that it would be best to tell his friends that he was gay, and then explain that he realized because of his interest in Wyatt. Mika repeatedly told him “Don’t make it weird. It’s only weird if you make it weird”. 

Mika also told Finn, to be calm, (which was way easier said than done, in Finn’s mind), and not be nervous, because that makes other people nervous, and lastly, to not put any pressure on Wyatt so he feels obligated to politely reject him. If anything, the objective was to have Wyatt be inclined to rudely reject him, and Finn would not care. Except that he would. But that was something that couldn’t be changed.

Nerves wracking, on Platform 9 and 3/4, Finn said goodbye to Dean and Seamus, and climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express, with Mika just behind him. They said their goodbyes, Mika needing to find her best friend, Charlotte Raineer. Then, Mika did something she hadn’t done in way too long for their parents liking: She hugged Finn. It was an awkward, quick hug, around the middle, because that was as far as she could reach, being 5′1 and Finn being 6′2, that caused Finn to drop his book and wand, but it was a hug from his little Kayla, all the same.

Finn sat his friends down, and told them the two, anxiety stimulating words:

“I’m gay.” 

There was a mixed reaction from the group. Zayden Smith, he had looked Finn in disgust, grabbed his wand, and walked off, with his nose in the air. Finn had pretty much expected this reaction from Zayden. He could be pretty bitchy at times. But the three other boys that were still there hugged him close, saying that, it was fine. they didn’t care, and they would always be there for him. Then, Finn realized that Wyatt wasn’t there. He made a note to himself, to find Wyatt after the feast and tell him the news in the Ravenclaw common room, after everyone had gone to bed.

Finn had swallowed his nerves, and blurted everything out. Surprisingly, Wyatt was okay with it. 

“Dude. You know i’m bi...” Wyatt laughed.

Finn looked at him blankly. “uh...no. did i miss that....”

Wyatt laughed again then stopped abruptly. “Shit. “ he said meekly. “i forgot to tell you. I knew i forgot someone! I am so sorry!”

Finn laughed and moved closer to Wyatt, a surge of confidence coming over him. Wyatt grabbed Finn’s chin, placing their lips together, and Finn knew: this was right.

Mikayla, now that she was a third year, felt like trying out for quidditch. But she wasn’t sure. Yes, she knew she had a talent, but man, it didn’t feel like it. A surge of love for her dads shot through her, and, on a whim, she wrote to them, asking what to do. She got the following letter back:

To my Mika,

Hello, sweetie!! I am so glad you are considering trying out for the Slytherin Quidditch team. You have a talent, and you should use it. You’re small, and light, with a great head on top of those shoulders. The perfect seeker. You should definitely try out! All those years Dad Shay spent with you perfecting your skills could be put to good use! Please do it, Mi-kay-kay! Even if you don’t get in, we will still be proud you tried! Stay out of trouble!

I love you,

Dad Dean

P.S Mikayla Gwyneth Thomas-Finnigan! Please put all those years of hard work, sweat and blood to good use! if you make the team, i’ll by you 5 pounds of Honeydukes Chocolate! And if you don’t I’ll still buy you 5 pounds of Honeydukes Chocolate. That’s 85 bars of chocolate! It’s a win-win!

-Dad Seamus

Dad Dean’s words inspired Mikayla and she did want those 5 pounds of chocolate.. but she still wasn’t sure. In the hallway to Potions, she was telling Charlotte about it, and Charlotte, being as supportive as she is, was thrilled when she heard Mika was trying out, to say the least. Unfortunately for Mika, Cameron McLaggen heard this conversation and said 

“Your so tiny, I doubt the broom would even recognize you’re on it, let alone take off. If you can catch the snitch, in the tryouts,  I’d give you thirty galleons.!” 

Mika stomped up Cameron, shook his his hand and said “You’re on.” Before stalking over to Charlotte. 

“I’LL BE THERE WATCHING!!” yelled Cameron. 

“What have I done....” Muttered Mika to Charlotte.

Tryouts, in Mika’s mind, was full of doubts, not only from her head, but from other players saying “But she’s so tiny! What if she falls!” etc. But, what do you know?  She makes it in. Captain Alexander Pucey, always sees the best in everyone. And he saw the potential in Mika. So, he welcomed her to the team. 

The first thing Mika did after tryouts? (not counting Charlotte’s vigorous hugs, of course!). She flew over to the Quidditch stands, where Cameron was sitting with his mates. 

“Pay up, McLaggen. “ She said. “I caught the snitch, and made it onto the Quidditch team.”

A grumbling Cameron McLaggen gave her thirty galleons and scurried off. And a thrilled Mikayla tugged a equally as excited Charlotte to the owlery! She had a letter to send!

Finn and Wyatt had been dating for a few months, until a fateful day, where Wyatt walks into the Charms classroom to see Finn snogging a Gryffindor 7th Year, Rosalina Vane-Hugdens. Of course, he’s shocked, and offended.

As it turns out, Finn was slipped a really expensive Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes love potion, one that the Weasley Twins concocted to force real attraction, rather than just obsession. Naturally, they are very dangerous, and hard to make, hence why they are expensive. But it’s said to stop after the person’s “true love” is seen. 

Finn had just realized this for himself, turned Rosalina in to Headmistress McGonagall, and went to apologize to Wyatt. But Wyatt wasn’t having it. Over the next 2 weeks, Finn didn’t eat, sleep and his grades were dangerously slipping. Professor Flitwick told him to step it up, and Finn tried, he really did. But he just couldn’t. 

Finally, after 2 and a half weeks of trying to get Wyatt’s attention, Wyatt gave Finn two minutes to explain himself. Finn did as best as he could, though his persuasion techniques weren’t as good as Mika’s. 

After Finn’s explanation, all Finn got was “Okay.” Before Wyatt quickly grabbed his satchel and walked away. Finn ran after him asking if he was forgiven. 

“No,” Wyatt had said. “I wouldn’t have accepted anything from Rosalina. You told me yourself that one of your dad’s friends got a box of chocolates spiked with a love potion from that damn girl’s mother. How do I remember this and you don’t? i’m not sure. Accepting it is one thing, but eating it? Not to mention, if you really loved me, you probably wouldn’t be affected by it. It just proved, that we aren’t supposed to be together. Bye, Finn. I’m sure I’ll see you around, and speak with you, but do note that it won’t be a pleasant conversation. “

That was all it took, for Finn’s world to shatter into pieces..

Mika and Charlotte were throwing a joint birthday party, since their birthday’s were May 17th and June 22nd respectively. They invited every Slytherin from 3rd-7th Year. They had a blast, and everything was going well, everyone was safe, although there was alchohol, but a limited amount. 

Some sixth year girl, clearly tipsy, makes her way over to Mika and gives her a pack of cigarettes. The girl says nothing else and walks off. Mika took one out, grabbed her wand, went outside and lit it. She inhaled and choked. She smoked it, for a bit longer, enjoying it, but something in her stopped, and she threw the cigarette on the ground, trampling, and jumping up and down on it. Mika resolved to never use these again. 

But a few days after the party, she found herself by the Black Lake, in a secluded area, smoking the whole pack. Whaddo ya know? Once you get used to it, it’s not so bad. At least once a week from then one, Mika takes an hour to sit on the shore of the Black Lake, with a new pack of cigarettes from that sixth grade girl.

Dean and Seamus hadn’t heard from their kids in a long while. Naturally they were worried.

The Thomas-Finnigans, not okay at all.

[queercapwriting]

Christmas at Hogwarts, Supergirl-style

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4

She waited patiently at the top of the spiral staircase that led to Ravenclaw Tower. 

Kara had proven in their second year that she could easily bypass the password to the questions posed for entry to the Tower, but promptly decided it wasn’t the best idea when she’d walked in on Winn Schott having a dance party by himself in the common room at 3am. 

So she waited, because if Lena said she’d meet her downstairs at midnight, then Lena would meet her downstairs at midnight. And sure enough, as soon as the clock struck a new day, the door was opening and Lena was slipping outside, her eyes bright with excitement.

“Did you bring it?” Kara asked, even though she already knew the answer.

Lena nodded, biting her lip in excitement. It was all Kara could do not to kiss her then and there, but then, there was nothing stopping her; and the look on Lena’s face gave her all the consent she needed.

So she kissed her like it was midnight and they were prefects out past hours and breaking every rule in the book, and she kissed her like she didn’t care about any of those things at all.

Because, really, she didn’t.

“Okay, so we know what to do?” Lena asked a few minutes later, though she was still gripping Kara’s biceps for support. 

“We do,” Kara grinned, and they set off to the kitchens.

Kara watched Lena’s spellwork with admiration while she was supposed to be keeping a look out. It was hard not to -- watch her, that is -- because Lena went somewhere different with a wand in one hand and a pre-made potion in the other. Somewhere special, somewhere all her own. Her lips would move but the sound would be soft enough to only reach her own ears, and her eyes would flutter closed like this was the only thing she was born to do -- create spells that would help people, bring people joy, improve people’s lives.

“I love you,” Kara whispered when Lena nodded that she was done, out of her trance but her eyes still foggy with her own daze. She said it so softly that she wasn’t sure Lena heard, but it wasn’t like the two of them didn’t know.

“So what now?” she adjusted her glasses and asked.

“Now,” Lena’s eyes glistened, “we create only a little bit of mayhem. You’re sure your sister’s up on the Astronomy Tower?”

“She always is,” Kara smiled affectionately, “but yeah, I checked right before I came to get you. And yes, I put everything in place. She didn’t even notice.”

“Excellent. And now for the mayhem.”

A series of delicious smells wafter out of her wand, as Kara left down on a picnic blanket the massive amount of food she’d snuck from the Great Hall. The two had contemplated just setting off a bunch of fireworks, in honor of the holiday season, but they hadn’t wanted to scare anyone.

Exaggerated food smells -- followed by food itself -- was a great way to get any House trickling out of their common rooms at 3am.

Sure enough, it only took a few minutes for Kara and Lena -- hiding together behind a tapestry -- to spot Maggie, grabbing a pastry but otherwise with a furrowed brow and a tilted head. Even as she chomped into the pastry -- one of the dozens that Kara and Lena had baked together early that morning before anyone woke -- Maggie set off in a completely different direction.

Toward the Astronomy Tower.

“Yes!” Lena whisper-shouted, like she hadn’t been sure her enchantment would work. The one which would create an invisible path toward the tower -- invisible to everyone except Maggie, that is.

“You are an amazing witch,” Kara whispered with her lips against Lena’s neck. Lena whimpered happily, and they retreated to the Room of Requirement, knowing that their work here was done.

Maggie’s heart raced as she followed the pulsing green path toward the Astronomy Tower. She wasn’t scared, not exactly, but she had her wand gripped loosely in her hand anyway.

A path only she could see?

Her hand gripped a little tighter as she ascended the stairs.

But when she got to the top, she only saw the eldest Danvers girl. Alex, her first name was.

Everyone knew that, even though she never used it.

Because Alex Danvers was a legend -- with a wand, on the Quidditch pitch, rumored to being recruited by the Department of Mysteries itself for her Occlumency gifts, though she was also rumored to be turning those invitations down to become a healer.

But here she was, the legend, kneeling on her cloak, staring through the gigantic telescope that only the most advanced students were able to use. Behind her, spread on a red and green Christmas blanket, was a veritable Christmas feast, complete with mugs of hot cocoa that were still, somehow, steaming in this freezing cold.

Much like she didn’t seem to know she was shivering, though, Alex also didn’t seem to notice the feast behind her. Or the wreaths that had been conjured. Or the mistletoe above the blanket.

Maggie gulped, looking around her. The trail she’d been following ended at Alex’s feet, formed a whispy smile that winked at her, and then vanished.

The food outside her common room. The giggling behind the tapestry. Maggie wasn’t exactly unobservant. 

This had to be the work of Kid Danvers and her girlfriend, Lena. 

She laughed to herself at their ingenuity, but her eyes stayed fixed on Alex, and she gulped. Loudly. Alex didn’t stir, only moving to adjust the telescope slightly, mouth slightly agape.

Maggie tried clearing her throat.

Alex still didn’t seem to notice.

Maggie tried one more time.

“Merry Christmas, Danvers,” she said, not quite a whisper but not quite in her regular voice. She didn’t want to scare the seventh year, but she did sort of want her attention -- it was clear what Kid Danvers and Luthor had been trying to do, and Maggie would be damned if she’d let their efforts go to waste.

She had always had eyes for the eldest Danvers girl, after all.

Alex just never seemed to notice anything but her studies and the stars.

And when Maggie spoke, she didn’t jump, not quite. But she did, finally, turn around.

And then she seemed to notice everything at once. Maggie in her pajamas with a hastily-grabbed cloak, the feast behind her, all the wreaths and... and the mistletoe.

“Kara set this up, didn’t she?” Alex deadpanned without preamble, and suddenly Maggie understood -- even more than she had before -- why the Ministry was trying to recruit her before she even graduated.

“Seems like it. I’m uh --”

“I know who you are,” Alex said, rising from her knees and seeming to realize that she was shivering. But instead of reaching down to get her cloak and toss it around herself, she stepped forward and put it around Maggie. She tried to resist, but Alex was insistent. “Maggie Sawyer, top of our class in Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies and Potions. An A+ Seeker. And you hexed that Lord boy when he made fun of my sister when she was a third year.”

“He had it coming,” Maggie muttered, and Alex stepped back, smiling one of those rare Alex Danvers smiles. 

Her eyes went up and down Maggie’s body, slow and intense, and Maggie almost melted then and there. “You look better in my cloak than I do.”

Maggie’s heart skipped at the comment, but she tried one more time to take it off. “You’re shivering,” she said, but Alex just stepped out of range and shook her head.

“At least I’m not just in my pajamas.” Maggie felt her blush deepen, and Alex went to sit on the blanket Kara had set up.

“Come on. We should at least eat what Kara and Lena set us up for. And knowing Kara’s spell work, the cocoa will still be -- ah, yep -- super hot.”

She patted the space on the blanket right next to her, and Maggie sat.

Two Santa hats appeared when she did so, and Alex laughed. “Clever witch,” she muttered, rolling her eyes as she tugged one of the hats on and passed one to Maggie.

“Do you come up here alone a lot?” Maggie asked, because she’d always imagined Alex as having a lot of friends, even though she never really saw her with anyone but her sister.

Alex turned her face up toward the stars.

“How could I not?”

Her eyes must have caught renewed sight of the mistletoe on their way back down to earth, because Alex chuckled. Maggie wanted to memorize the sound.

“My sister seems to have an agenda with this feast here.” Maggie thought she saw Alex bite the inside of her lip -- like she was shy, this legend shy, about someone who was... just Maggie -- but she must have imagined it.

Except Alex was sipping at her cocoa and glancing down at Maggie’s lips over the steaming mug.

“What do you think? Of her and Luthor’s scheme?”

“To get us to kiss?” Maggie nearly squeaked, and the mistletoe only seemed to grow in response.

They both giggled a little, this time, and Alex set down her mug, taking Maggie’s hands into her own to warm them.

“Yes,” she said, straightforward with shining eyes, and there was the girl everyone wanted to lead the Ministry into a new age.

“I think it’s an excellently executed plan. Lots of great spellwork, and um --”

“Sawyer,” Alex interrupted, her voice gentle. She blew into Maggie’s hands, her breath mercifully warm, but Maggie’s shiver had nothing to do with the cold.

“Danvers,” she said, hoping she wasn’t squeaking again.

“May I kiss you?” Alex asked, just as Maggie thought she saw a shooting star out of the corner of her eye.

“Yes,” was all she could whisper, and when Alex’s lips met hers, she definitely saw shooting stars, all of them, exploding like Christmas lights behind her eyes.

[primuswhyme]

How do relationships usually work in seeker culture? Are there different kinds?

“Whoo boy. Okay. Well, there’s a lot of layers to unwrap here and it’s difficult to explain something you grew up with, so please bear with me as I attempt to do my best here.”

“Technically speaking we can say there are different types of relationships and sub relationships within those relationships. It all largely depends on how those relationships in question pan out. We’ll start with the most well known which is Trine Bonds.”

“Trine bonds are a group of three seekers superficially bonded. I say superficially, but I in no way mean the relationship or meaning of Trine is in any way superficial itself. I’ll get into it in a bit. Now, a seeker spending their lives single isn’t unheard of, but it is incredibly rare. We’re social creatures by nature and there’s always been a… drive? I suppose to find others that we connect well with. Anyways, single seekers will often go out to attract trine members, remarkable similar to how humans look for dates. We may jump from partner to partner until we find someone we ‘click’ with and then two look for a third to complete the trifecta, if you will.

Trine is… well. Usually it’s everything. That’s not to say your entire life revolves around having a trine, because not every seeker trines, but having them is like having a missing piece of yourself. You work well in the air together, you live together, you’re essentially like a married couple. Only there’s three of you. They’re your best friends. If fact, more often than not, trines end up Sparkbonded on top of Trine bonded as well. That’s important to note that unless you sparkbond, there’s a fine line between trinemates and sparkmates. It…. doesn’t always work out. *ahem* Which leads us into Duos.”

“Duos can mean a plethora of things, generally speaking. As stated previously, a seeker doesn’t have to trine. Neither do they have to be romantically involved with their trine. Sometimes Trine is simply like family you’re really close with or best friends who may as well be siblings. Again, it depends on how all of you view the relationship. Duos are your typical couple, I suppose. A seeker can choose a mate outside of trine and sometimes they even sparkbond them. Though generally there’s a lot of talking with your trine for their blessings, etcetera. Accepted, trine defend one’s sparkmate as if they were also part of trine. Unaccepted, it’s treated more as if they’re long term friends with benefits. I can’t tell you much more than that. I’ve only really heard hearsay myself.

Oft times, duos can be a way to blow of sexual frustration with a trusted partner as well. Friends with benefits, so to speak. Trines, as previously stated, aren’t always romantically involved so romance is sought elsewhere. That doesn’t make the trine any less or the duo any less, just that the dynamic is different. Of course, it’s discussed among all parties involved for various reasons. Viruses, trust, comfort levels, everything in between. Duos can be… complicated.

On the very rare occasion, that duo might end up joining the trine and they become Quaterne.”

“Quaternes are the rare group of four seekers. I don’t know all that much about the dynamic to be honest. I don’t know if they’re sparkbonded mates, trinebonded or both. I knew a guy who was in one once, but it was brief and we talked maybe a handful of times. He seemed happy so… *shrugs* Must have been working out for him just fine.”

“There’s probably more to it, but you might want to ask someone who’s a cultural investigator or a seeker who’s put extensive research into their own societal structure. Admittedly, our different levels of, uh, relationship statuses is probably the main culprit behind the ‘Seeker Promiscuous Libido’ rumors.”

“Thanks for hearing me out to the end.”

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 14: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: Just give me a fucking accurate irreducible Minimus!

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I’m Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: And today we’re gonna be talking about episode number 14: Countdown to Extinction. Let’s talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: Last time on the Transformers, Megatron was defeated but he’s left earth in ruins.

S: Like a really bad frat party.

O: More robot frat parties. First heard here, folks.

S: Or the aftermath of a frat party.

O: [laughter] Something like that.

S: Yeah.

O: Back on earth, we see the Autobots helping rebuild infrastructure around, like, dams. There’s so many dams in the show.

S: Dams-

O: Bridges.

S: Cities, bridges.

O: Yeah, that kind of stuff.

S: And under the ocean, in the Decepticon base, Rumble and Skywarp are bitching at each other.

O: Skywarp calls Rumble a “metallic mini-meatball.”

S: How does he know what a meatball is? And, like, we literally had to go back and rewatch that because it was, like, was that actually what he said?

O: It was, in fact, actually what he said. Skywarps slaps Rumble into, like, a computer panel and Thundercracker picks up Rumble afterwards. And Rumble is so small in comparison, he looks kind of like a weird Cybertronian doll.

S: Soundwave then throws some serious shade of the Seekers.

O: Holding two sparking wires while doing so and what I assume must have been a threatening way because they hit his child.

S: Baaaaasically. Who knows, it could be fanon, could be canon, who knows?

O: Nobody knows.

S: And then Frenzy pops out of a hole.

O: FRENZY! This is Frenzy’s first appearance and Frenzy’s here! Look at more of my cassette children! Look at them everywhere!

S: [Laughter] Then Skywarp is a dick to Frenzy, too, trying to step on him. I mean when isn’t Skywarp being a dick?

O: I mean, yeah. Frenzy proceeds to throw him across the room and then Rumble jumps on Skywarp’s face and starts punching him.

S: As one does.

O: And this! This is what Megatron walks in on. One of his Seekers on the ground getting beat up by a cassette.

S: You know that gif? With the guy with a pizza box walking in and then everything’s on fire? I think that’s from Community. I’m not sure, but that’s basically this only less horrified and more super annoyed.

O: [Muffled Laughter]

S: All the Decepticons here are like, “Holy fuck, you’re alive!”

O: And Megatron’s like, “I’ve only lost the starship, not the war.” I feel like they all just sort of jointly looked around and were like, “Oh shit, dad’s home.”

S: More or less. Megatron’s got those zingers. Those zinger lines. But he’s definitely the dad. Or he fulfills that role- it’s weird.

O: Look, he fills the same role to the Decepticons that Optimus fills to the Autobots. He’s just more of a dick about it. Then again, you see what he’s got to work with and you almost don’t blame him.

S: Yeah, the other Decepticons let their glorious leader know that Starscream has taken off with Dr. Arkeville.

O: Megatron’s unhappy about this.

S: So what Soundwave does, is he records everything so he has a recording to playback of Starscream being a conniving bastard while talking to the doctor.

O: Yes, he does which is how Megatron learns they’re going to Dr. Evil’s secret lab.

S: As one does. Because of course this evil doctor has a secret lab.

O: It’s the eighties! [Laughter]

S: Just wait till you see the secret lab, folks.

O: You’ll be incredibly underwhelmed!

S: Yeah. Meanwhile back at the Autobot base, Wheeljack’s got their surveillance back up and they see the Decepticons flying off.

O: And now you know what the show was famous for after that ten-second interlude, we’re now back with, uh Starscream and Dr. Arkeville. They arrive at Dr. Arkeville’s hidden lab.

S: The most badly disguised secret lab, ever. There is literally a freakin doorstep.

O: A doorstep that goes up to a mountain. [Laughter] That like, there’s clearly this like square that’s been cut into the rock, like you can see the edge.

S: Yeah, it’s like it’s in a mountainside and then there’s just this big-ass boulder.

O: Pretty much.

S: Arkeville gets catty with Starscream and then the doctor says that he must use a voice command to open the lab.

O: And Starscream’s like, “Then activate your mouth!”

S: And, of course, the genius scientist uses the absolutely lamest code ever, shouting, “Open Sesame!” at the side of the mountain after, like, stroking his own ego.

O: Yes! And I love it because Starscream is just fucking dry and sarcastic here. It is wonderful.

S: Apparently Decepticons know about A Thousand and One Arabian Nights. So, yeah.

O: And then Starscream just chucks the door down a nearby ravine.

S: Yeah, there goes that boulder. I guess you’re not closing that door anymore Dr. Arkeville.

O: [Laughter] Like, I’m still not really sure why he did this, other than to be an asshole.

S: He just.

O: He’s a very done with Dr. Evil’s shit.

S: Starscream just has a quota to meet-

O: Alright.

S: Let’s face it.

O: Quota of cattiness.

S: Apparently, the Doctor’s made an exponential generator, warning Starscream not to mess with it or it’ll blow up the Earth. Because, apparently-

O: This is what he does in his spare time.

S: He just makes things that can produce unending energy and he doesn’t do shit with it.

O: Of course not. You couldn’t, you know, I don’t know. Um, patent that shit and be a bajillionaire. Anyway! Then, we have, and I counted, literally a 23 second interlude to check in with our other idiots. The Decepticons see the Autobots following them and the remaining two Seekers attack and then it cuts back to Starscream.

S: And back with Starscream, he’s apparently made a bomb. Out of the doctor’s energy generator thing.

O: The word interface comes up here in Starscream’s explanation. If you’re familiar with the fandom I suspect you just giggled despite it clearly not being related to what’s happening here.

S: And if you don’t know what we’re talking about, treasure your ignorance, please treasure your ignorance.

O: And don’t blame us if you look it up. [Laughter]

S: Please don’t look it up. Please don’t. Starscream intends to blow up the entire Earth and gather the energy created from the explosion which seems really wasteful. I mean, there’s an entire sun that he could just use. Fucking solar panels.

O: You’re right but I would like to comment that Starscream is actually using Earth time units here when he’s talking to the doctor. None of that astro-seconds crap, because he tells the doctor that the Earth will explode in about eight hours.

S: He’s better at picking up local time terminology than the goddamn Autobots are.

O: Uh-huh.

S: I don’t know whether to feel vaguely pleased about this or really annoyed. I don’t know.

O: I can- I can be both things at once.

S: I’m gonna go with the writers are just inconsistent.

O: Yes.

S: And having a weird ass day. So the Doctor is pretty, super pissed about this. Or super, pretty pissed or something.

O: [Laughter]

S: So the Doc’s pretty pissed about this but then Starscream’s, like, too bad, you’re coming with me to Cybertron so you can’t mess with my maniacal plans because I know what you’re like. You’re like me!

O: [Laugher] A conniving bastard! Apparently, Starscream had enough air in his cockpit to last Dr. Arkeville the entire jaunt back to Cybertron.

S: Which! I have a lot of questions. I mean, how is there even oxygen on Cybertron? There’s no plant life and, I guess, how long did it take Starscream to get there? And I think, actually, I think you came up with an answer for that.

O: I can’t remember what it was but I want to say it showed the bomb timer. And then we saw the timer again right after they had landed on Cybertron, so it took a couple of hours. Like, I want to say it like took two or three hours cuz me and you were laughing and we’re like, oh my god, it took about as long to get to Cybertron as it takes to fly across the U.S.

S: Yeah, which doesn’t really say anything about the, um, the distance or speed Starscream was going because he’s a goddamn space jet. Who knows how far away Cybertron is?

O: Decepticons and Autobots begin fighting properly as we cut back to them, again.

S: And then because of course he does Megatron tiptoes up behind Optimus Prime and then jumps on him.

O: And not in the fun way! I’m so sad.

S: [Sighs] Megatron and Optimus fight. Like, getting thrown around in the process.

O: Then Optimus picks up Megatron and I swear he’s touching his butt. He then chucks him into a shallow pond that’s somewhat nearby,

S: And after that bit of a dip Megatron’s dignity seems to have taken a bit of a hit and he orders a retreat, Like, it’s been a wash to his ego.

O: Clearly. And the Autobots continue to follow them, even after they’ve taken off from the ground.

S: Starscream arrives on Cybertron and he completely and totally is lying to a super confused Shockwave.

O: Yeah. Basically he tells him Megatron’s dead.

S: Super dead.

O: Shockwave’s not super happy with a human being brought in his vicinity, either.

S: Shockwave has gotten beaten up every single time he’s seen a human so, to be fair, this is a valid reaction.

O: I think so. So when Starscream tells Shockwave that Megatron is dead. Let me cram all those names into that one sentence, yes. Uh, he basically says something, something about how he’s the leader of the Decepticons now. And he pulls out a Decepticon badge here? From nowhere? I don’t- like, it literally looks like a goddamn police badge that’s on, like, a white thing and he holds it out. I don’t know where this came from or why he has it.

S: Maybe they just all keep Decepticon badges on them like that for, like. I don’t know. Repair purposes or if they’ve gotta–

O: He’s got two of them on his wings. Does he really need a third?

S: Maybe if his wing gets damaged or it has to be replaced? Because apparently they didn’t- like, on one of the early episodes, they were just, like, scavenging for, like, plane parts? To repair each other? Or something?

O: Yeah, you’re right.

S: Or I mean, heck, maybe for recruiting people because, I mean, where did they come up with the, um, the badge for Skyfire?

O: I don’t even know. [Laughter]

S: Who knows? Who knows? Let’s get back to this, because we got a bit sidetracked. Shocky claims Megatron cannot be dead as he’s indestructible, which so far-

O: Which, if you remember last time, I feel like we have conclusively proven he is indeed indestructible if an explosion that could move an entire planet could not kill him.

S: Yeah. Seems- yeah.

O: The Doctor then tries to stop Starscream from collecting the energy from Earth’s destruction but gets badly hurt as the control console he tries to do this at shocks him.

S: Because, apparently, anti-human measures have been put in or anti-

O: Organic?

S: Well, no, so what Starscream says is, non-Decepticons can’t use this, so it apparently it would do that to, like, Autobots, too.

O: But probably wouldn’t damage them as much, I suspect.

S: Yeah and, I guess, are we just going to assume that Shockwave had these installed after the whole Sparkplug debacle? Cuz that seems like it seems likely.

O: That seems likely. Shockwave doesn’t seem like the kind of bot who would want to make the same mistake multiple times.

S: Yeah. [Indistinct]

O: Oh hey, there are Reflectors here, too. I guess they just live on Cybertron, now?

S: It’s probably more peaceful for them.

O: I don’t really blame them.

S: So Megatron leads the Autobots to the “Valley of No Return,” and I’m doing the finger quotation marking thingy there, in order to trap them in quicksand.

O: He then leaves Laserbeak behind a record their imminent death and flies off.

S: As- he needs to take cues from the Evil Overlord List.

O: Yes, you know, don’t watch their deaths. Just assume everything’s going okay. To his credit, though, he did actually leave a camera behind essentially to record it and get proof.

S: Yes, but the problem is he’s-

O: I’m saying it’s more than a lot of villains do.

S: That’s true. That’s true. But he didn’t do it himself, soooo.

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah. As the Autobots struggle in the- in the- in this quicksand, Laserbeak for no apparent reason what-so-freaking-ever decides to fly right over them and is brought down by a missile from Mirage. I mean, maybe he just wanted better camera angles?

O: I mean, like, is he like Rewind at this, where he’s like, “I’ve got to get a better angle.” Regardless, when he gets shot he transforms into a cassette and is caught by Jazz. And then Ironhide freezes the sand and they all just walk out?

S: I’m going to assume that they, like, have frozen sand stuck in their joints which seems unpleasant.

O: It does.

S: Once they’re all free, Jazz plays Laserbeak. I think he transforms and then Laserbeak goes into, like-

O: His cassette deck in his car mode. I feel like I should comment on not having Laserbeak’s consent here or something?

S: Yeah. And, like, Optimus gets weirdly, super close to Jazz at one point. Like, his hands are on his windshield. He’s looking in his windshield. It’s weird.

O: It is. [Laughter]

S: And then we have “Dadimus��� Prime doing his best to be hip and cool with the kids. “Lay it on me, man.”

O: Yes, those words come out of Optimus Prime’s mouth. And thusly, the Autobots to learn about the secret lab, too.

S: And somehow know exactly where it is. How? How?

O: I don’t know? How did Megatron know where it was from the recorded conversation with Megatron and Dr. Arkeville.

S: I think we kind of assumed that they- I don’t know, maybe they had someone tracking Starscream’s signature earlier?

O: Yeah, but that doesn’t make any sense how the Autobots figured it out from listening to this conversation, too.

S: Heck, maybe the coordinates were later in the thing and we didn’t hear them? I don’t know.

O: That would make more sense. That would make too much sense. We know what kind of show we’re watching.

S: It’s a silly show.

O: The Decepticons arrive at the lab and Megatron finds the energy generator.

S: So what’s the, like, case-y thing? A case thing is open but it really looks like a football.

O: And he calls it his, “Potent beauty.”

S: That’s a really, oddly sensual descriptor, that.

O: [Chuckles]

S: It really is.

O: Mm-hmm! And according to the timer on the bomb, because we keep cutting back to it, we now have two hours left. Which doesn’t actually make any of this feel very dire, if you know what I mean.

S: It really doesn’t. it feels like they could literally just-

O: They’ll figure it out sometime in the next two hours! Literally, the timer is up on a wall behind them. One of them, I know they’re are all idiots, but one of them, surely, is going to look at that and say, “Gee, I wonder what this is counting down to?” and, “Oh, wait Starscream is involved?”

S: Yeah, and then the Autobots show up and the Decepticons go outside to confront them. Because of course they do.

O: And then Optimus punches Megatron in the face and the angle on this makes no sense whatsoever. For Optimus to be hitting him at the angle that he is hitting him, he would literally have to be right in front of Megatron which means that Megatron and all the Decepticons have apparently just missed the bright blue and red mech kneeling on the ground in front of the lab entrance.

S: Yeah! Getting thrown back, Megatron lands on a ledge, where he picks up a rock and says something about “Having a ton of fun,” before chucking the rock at Optimus, missing when Optimus dodges, and then hitting poor Rumble instead.

O: Ohhh, Rumble. [Laughter] My baby. He’s just like, “What the fuck!”

S: Yeah, pretty much. And then Optimus laughs and yells, “Your aim’s improving, Megatron!”

O: I swear they’re just flirting, now. Right?

S: It’s very much like that joke, “My ex misses me but her aim’s improving!”

O: Something like that.

S: It really, really is. I’m sorry, it just made me think of it when Grunkle Stan says it in Gravity Falls.

O: [Laughter] Fair.

S: Elsewhere on Cybertron, Starscream has committed more crimes against its nature.

O: Uh, he decided he could build Dr. Arkeville stronger, faster, better.

S: Less able to move.

O: Anyway, Dr. Arkeville is a cyborg now or, excuse me, “A mechanical freak!”

S: Well, he was already kind of a cyborg. He had a replacement- mechanical replacement for one of his hands.

O: He’s more of a cyborg now and he’s not happy about it.

S: He really isn’t. Like- something like- what? Three-quarters of his body are- is, um, metal now?

O: I feel like I could throw some inappropriate things in here but I won’t.

S: Yeah.

O: [Laughter]

S: And then Starscream monologues at the Doctor as Shockwave just, like, sneaks out of the room while no one’s paying attention.

O: Back on Earth, somehow, Optimus has gotten inside the lab.

S: This seems like a job for Mirage but, apparently, we’re not good at using our soldiers skills or, you know, coordinating things well.

O: No, now we get what you’ve all been waiting for: Megatron and Optimus, fighting over a glowy atomic football.

S: And we cut to the timer from before. These two idiots have been fighting for two hours. Two-fucking-hours. We’re down to below a minute.

O: Shockwave then contacts Megatron to warn him about the bomb but Megatron tries to tell him to call back later when he’s not about to kill Optimus Prime.

S: He’s just, like, “Leave me alone- I have better things to do than talk to you, Shockwave.” And poor Shockwave is like, “No. This is important.”

O: He’s doing his best. Shocky is doing his best, okay?

S: He’s like, “There’s a bomb!” and then Megatron goes and crushes the timer, stopping the bomb.

O: I don’t know why that works but the-

S: Well, he rips it off the wall? So I guess he disconnected it?

O: Yeah, true.

S: So the trigger mechanism didn’t work, or whatever. Yeah Starscream gets annoyed at the distinct lack of boom and the doctor plays to his ego to talk him into going back and checking the timer device. Which, I mean, Shockwave tries to tell Dr. Arkeville to go back and Dr. Arkeville’s, like, “How am I supposed to do that? On my roller skates?”

O: Which was a pretty great line and also just playing to Starscream’s ego is the way you win. [Laughter]

S: Pretty much.

O: We come back to Earth and Megatron’s disarming, I think, the generator? Uh, presumably he’s got some idea of what he’s doing as these two idiots don’t explode. Uh, him and Optimus exchanged some words that sound oddly sincere here and I swear Optimus is using his bedroom voice.

S: He does sound very sultry.

O: Now they’re literally just playing football. Optimus grabs the device out of Megatron’s hands and then Megatron tackles him.

S: Yeah. More or less.

O: And seeing this damn thing is about to explode, Megatron grabs it and runs outside, turning into his gun mode and telling Optimus to- wait for it- load him.

S: That doesn’t sound dirty at all. Hmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmm.

O: [Laughter] Oh mai! Which Optimus promptly does, firing Megatron *ahem* and sending the generator into space, where it explodes, hitting Starscream.

S: Yep, yep. That’s what happens.

O: Mm-hmm!

S: And Starscream then crash lands, basically, in front of Megatron. Except that Megatron’s behind him and comes up behind and says, “Welcome home, noble voyager.”

O: He then picks him up and they walk off.

S: Oh god, Starscream’s like his hot strumpet to go.

O: He is. Back with the Autobots, Bumblebee asks Prime what he thinks Megatron’s gonna do with Starscream, to which Prime replies, “Nothing gentle, I”d say.”

S: Optimus. Optimus, knows Megatron. And he knows what’s up.

O: And on that note, that’s the end of the episode: the Autobots laughing about Starscream and Megatron doing some incredibly rough things in private.

S: Yeah.

O: [Laughter] Join us next time for episode 15, A Plague of Insecticons, where we’re introduced to yet more Decepticons…that are insects.

S: Mm-mmm.

O: There are other things that happen. I know there are but the Insecticons are the main draw here.

S: They’re in Bali, I think. So I guess if you want to see tropical places.

O: Tropical places and giant insect bugs.

S: Yeah.

O: So, would you like to talk about our fanfic recommendations for today, Specs?

S: Okay, we have two fanfic recommendations and, actually, you will be covering one of them. But our first recommendation for today is Blue 42 by The Starhorse. It’s set in the G1 cartoon continuity and it’s rated PG. It’s- its Gen- general. There are no pairings and characters, well, our main characters are Prowl, Sideswipe, Bluestreak, Sunstreaker, Dead End, Ravage and assorted Autobots. And in summary, “Beware of irritating Prowl. It does not pay.”

O: Oh, it doesn’t.

S: So, sort of our theme for this recommendation was sports / atomic football because the atomic football just made me think of sports.

O: Fair.

S: But, so, this one’s really, really funny and…

O: It is, I’ve read this one, it’s hysterical.

S: It is! Basically, Prowl sentences, uh, some troublemakers to play sports or play football, specifically, against the Dinobots, Wheeljack, and Ratchet.

O: Yes, basically, I think his logic is: Here’s a way to basically, kind of boost morale and relieve some tension, so I’m gonna put these troublemakers to work and they’re also gonna get beat up pretty bad.

S: Yes, because none of these robots understand football properly.

O: And they’re going up against the Dinobots. [Laughter]

S: Yup, and, well, there are also Furbies being used-

O: Oh god, how did I forget about the Furbies? That was the best part, how did I forget about the Furbies?

S: Basically Furbies being used as A) a prank, B) thought of as an information gathering device.

O: Uh-huh!

S: So, I don’t want to say too much more to avoid spoiling things but it’s very, very funny- very, very funny, very enjoyable, and I definitely recommend it and I believe Owls seconds this recommendation.

O: I do, it actually was one of my favorite fanfics she gave me early on.

S: Ok, and I think that’s- that’s that one covered, so. Actually I will just say that I’ve read this next recommendation and it was funny as hell. I enjoyed it a lot, so on to Owls.

O: So my recommendation for today is “My Love is a Fever” by Spaceliquid. It is in the IDW continuity, rated T. It’s definitely slash or at least implied slash with Megatron and Optimus Prime. The main characters are Megatron, Optimus Prime, and assorted Lost Light crew cuz this is taking place on the Lost Light.

S: And aliens.

O: And aliens! In summary: “Optimus joins the crew of the Lost Light only to be imprisoned by an alien race. Megatron has to use some of his less known skills in order to get him back.” My theme for this was, uh, Megatron and Optimus Prime. Or, alternatively, just fuck already!

S: [giggles]

O: Um. There’s no actual fucking to be found in this fic, but, ah, the gist of it is Optimus has been kidnapped and Megatron has to use poetry to get him back. Make of that what you will cuz I’m not describing anything else.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and Youtube, just to name a few.

S: Till next time, I’m Specs

O: And I’m Owl’s.

S: Toodles!

O: They need to just fuck already!

[Outro Music]

[myseoulreasonforliving]

I Like You

Happy New Year!! I wrote a New Year-themed Baekhyun scenario today, as a special present to all you lovely readers! I hope you enjoy it. ^-^

♡ Admin  강아지

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     The room was fairly dim, only lit by colored Christmas lights that no one had bothered to take down after last week’s Christmas party. A lopsided banner hanging up on one side of the room read “Happy New Year!” to remind you why you had come to this party in the first place, since with the blaring music and the milling party-goers in a refreshing variety of either Drunk or Completely Plastered, you kept seeming to forget.

     You were almost tempted to drink some of the spiked punch that seemed to the the hit accessory of the night, complete with red plastic cup. After all, maybe you’d be having as much fun as everyone else seemed to be having. You raised the cup to your nose and sniffed the fruity concoction, wrinkling your nose and setting it back down without bothering to take a sip. You knew that the only reason your friend had bothered to drag you along was as the Designated Driver. She knew you didn’t really like rowdy people or loud music, but she also wanted to get Completely Plastered and she didn’t want to have to hail a taxi in the freezing snow. She’d promised to make it up to you, and now you were wondering how she would manage that.  

     A particularly amorous couple didn’t seem to feel the limitations that usually come with being in an area containing other people. Perhaps the alcohol had liberated them from the tethers of “boundaries”. Whatever the cause, you didn’t love being a spectator to their sudden inability to keep their hands to themselves, or the sickening murmurs that apparently no volume of Top 40’s Hits could drown out. Edging carefully around them, you moved unobtrusively toward the stairs to seek out a quieter spot where you could possibly hear your own thoughts. 

     Narrowly dodging a swing of Sehun’s arm as he gestured dramatically, too immersed in a lively conversation with with Tao on the staircase to notice you trying to move past him, you finally made it upstairs which was, to your immense relief, quieter. You wandered down the hallway until you noticed a door hanging open, and you peered cautiously inside. Thankfully, despite the suspicions in the back of your mind, you had not intruded on some indecent scene. It appeared to be some sort of rec room, so you stepped inside to get a better look. There was a television with a couch across from it and a few beanbag chairs, and the walls that weren’t covered with shelves of comic books, anime, and video games, were decorated with an assortment of posters (including a quite large one of just Chanyeol’s face). 

     Your friend Baekhyun was sitting in one of the beanbag chairs, video game controller in hand, playing some fighting game that lit up the television screen with flashes of red and emitted screeches from the foes that Player One conquered effortlessly. You took another step, the floorboards suddenly letting out a loud creak, and Baekhyun’s head shot up to look at you. Suddenly, there was a loud explosion effect and the whole screen was a blaze of fire. Baekhyun’s head whipped around again, and he frantically pressed a few buttons, but it was too late. “Game Over” flashed across the screen in harsh, black letters.

     "Uh, sorry, I’ll just-“ you began backing out of the room, but he interrupted you.

     "No, it’s all right. I was getting tired of this game anyway. You can stay if you want.”

    “Okay,” you agreed readily, not really wanting to return to the drunken chaos downstairs. Moving over toward the shelves, you perused the video game titles before one leapt out at you. “Oh my god. You have Mario Kart Grand Prix?” You snatched the case off the shelf. “I haven’t played this in forever!” Baekhyun laughed. “Yeah. Do you want to play with me?” “Really? Aren’t you playing your own game on there right now?” “No, no, I’m tired of this game,” Baekhyun said quickly. “Let’s play Mario Kart! I haven’t played it in a while either.”

    “Okay!” Without further hesitation, you tossed the case to Baekhyun so he could set it up, sinking comfortably onto the couch. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that you’d come to this party after all. “Why aren’t you downstairs at the party?” “I’ve been trying to beat Chen’s high score for weeks. I thought I’d take advantage of him being gone at the party, but I still can’t beat him. I think he’s messing with me somehow.”

    After setting up the game, Baekhyun handed you one of the controllers and joined you on the couch. “I’ll be Yoshi,” he announced, choosing his character from the selection screen. 

    You giggled as you selected Peach as your character. “You’re going to be the squibbly-faced dinosaur?”

    “He’s not squibbly-faced,” Baekhyun protested. “And he’s the best character! He steers better." 

    "Oh, he does not,” you scoffed. “They all steer the same.”

    “They don’t! Yoshi steers better. He just does.”

    “Suuure he does.”

    “I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.” Baekhyun pouted.

    You pretended to cry, drawing dramatic tears over your face with your fingers, and he snickered. “Just press ‘Start’ already.”

    Obliging, you pressed 'Start’ and the two of you awaited the countdown. 3… 2… 1… GO! You began to drive, and watched as Baekhyun zoomed ahead of you. “Hey, no fair! How did you do that?" 

    "Hmm, it’s been so long since I’ve played, I don’t remember!” teased Baekhyun wickedly, giggling and dodging as you tried to hit him and steer at the same time. FInally, you gave up and tried to concentrate on steering. Suddenly remembering something from when you used to play, you turned your little kart and headed off the path.

    “See, I told you Yoshi’s steering- Hey, how’d you do that?” Baekhyun cut himself off as your character was suddenly ahead of him on the track.

    “Secret tunnel.” You stuck out your tongue at him.

    “Oh, I see, so we’re playing dirty are we?" 

    "I’m not playing dirty,” you argued indignantly. “The tunnels were put there on purpose so we could use them!”

    “Yeah. You know what else they put there so we can use them?”

    “What?" 

    "First-place seekers!” crowed Baekhyun triumphantly.

    “No!” You gasped, staring at his screen. There it was indeed, that blasted blue turtle shell from hell, and Baekhyun’s fingers were poised to release it at any moment.

    An evil grin spread across Baekhyun’s face, and he pressed the button. “Oh, yes.”

    You watched in shock as that pitiless, periwinkle projectile of crushed dreams headed straight toward the unwary princess and blew her kart sky-high. Yoshi zoomed heartlessly by, not sparing a glance at the wreckage being towed away by a tiny cloud, and crossed the finish line unopposed. Baekhyun smiled innocently as you glared at the screen, until you finally found your words. "I demand a rematch!" 

    Baekhyun willingly obliged, and the two of you played the same stage again. This time, you recalled how to get a speed burst at the beginning of the game by syncing up your pressing of the "gas pedal” with the “GO!” and stole the beginning advantage from Baekhyun. The two of you chased along down every shortcut there was, but in the end of the third lap you had a big lead. The win was sure to be yours.

    “Guess what I have.” Baekhyun’s voice sounded over the mesmerizing music that made the video game more addicting.

    “What?” you asked, not breaking your focus. He wouldn’t distract you that easily.

    “Guess,” he pressed, and something in his voice made your eyes dart to the corner of his player screen.

    No. Not again. That ignoble, indigo, insult to ambition of a missile was there, ready to tear down the glory of your rightfully deserved win. Speaking quickly, hoping to delay his fire, you asked him in a feigned whine, “How do you always get those and never me? It isn’t fair.”

    Taking the bait, Baekhyun smiled smugly. “Because the universe knows that I am the superior Mario Kart player and wishes to aid me in my noble quest to destroy you in this game.”

    “If you’re the superior Mario Kart player, then how come the universe has to help you win?” you challenged, continuing with your diversion as you carried out your plan. 

    “The universe is worried that I’ll take pity on the poor princess who couldn’t beat me if I had both hands tied behind my back.” Baekhyun winked at you, and you quickly turned to face the screen before you got distracted by his dastardly charm.

    “Is there a risk of that happening?”

    “Maybe. I have a weak spot for pretty girls.”

    You didn’t dare look at him now. “Then why didn’t you let me win?”

    “I wouldn’t dare be so rude as to reject a gift from the universe.” Baekhyun snickered, and shot the missile. 

    A second later, it turned around and blew up his kart.

    For a moment, Baekhyun was dumbstruck. Then he looked at you. “What just happened?" 

    You cackled as you zoomed past the finish line. "Victory!”

    Baekhyun groaned in disbelief and put down his controller. “But how? I never passed you! You were in first place.”

    “I WAS in first place. Then I went backwards through a shortcut and let you get ahead of me.”

    Baekhyun’s mouth was hanging open at your ingenious tactic, and you teasingly reached out and put your finger under his chin, shutting it for him. 

    He looked at you for a moment, and his eyes seemed darker than usual and you gulped, but then he just grinned. “Let’s play another round.”

    The two of you continued playing Mario Kart, no longer holding back as you both got intensely into the game, each determined to be the champion. Toward the end both of you were fighting dirty, throwing couch pillows at each other to steal the game. You were about to win for the third time in a row, and Baekhyun was not willing to accept defeat. When he ran out of pillows, he reached over and started pressing buttons on your controller. 

    “Cheater!” You protested as you tried to move the controller out of his reach, but he pulled it out of your hands before you succeeded and laughed as he started driving your character backwards. 

    With this unacceptable turn of events, you gave up any last shred of dignity you had and basically tackled him. 

    Yelping in surprise, Baekhyun struggled as you stretched out to grab your controller from his hands, managing to keep it out of your grasp with his long arms. 

    “Give it back,” you grunted, pulling uselessly at his arm. “Give it back or I’ll bite you.”

    Suddenly, Baekhyun rolled over so he was on top of you and whispered in your ear, “Promise?" 

    Your eyes widened and you stared up at his smirking face, ears reddening. Baekhyun snickered and got off of you, poking you in the side. "I win.” “Wh-what?” You stammered, still flustered at his sudden change, and he pointed to the television screen. Baekhyun had somehow won the game. “Ugh, you massive dirty cheater!” You threw pillow after pillow at him, and he dived to the floor to dodge your upholstered assault, choosing to stay there as he laughed until he was gasping for breath. 

    Baekhyun returned to his seat next to you on the couch for the next game, despite the threatening look you shot him. As the two of you played, you were relentless. You shot missile after missile, dropped banana peel after banana peel, and yet somehow he was still in the lead. As you aimed another turtle shell at him, you heard chanting from downstairs, “Ten… Nine… ” and you realized it was almost midnight, almost the New Year. 

“Eight… Seven… Six… " 

    You had an idea. Shooting the shell, you knocked him off the course and gained the lead.

    "Yeah, that’ll last,” teased Baekhyun with another devilish smirk. He was already gaining on you.

“Five… Four…" 

    You leaned over. "Wanna hear a secret?" 

"Three… Two…”

    Baekhyun leaned toward you without turning his head, his eyes locked on the screen. "What?”

“ONE!" 

    As everyone downstairs cheered, you quickly kissed him on the cheek before you lost your nerve. "Happy New Year!”

    Baekhyun’s head whipped around and he stared at you in shock. His ears were turning pink, and he didn’t even glance at the screen as Yoshi plummeted off a cliff, kart and all. 

    You focused on the television screen and took advantage of your lead, finishing lap 2 with a massive lead and closing in on the third lap.

    Baekhyun was still looking at you, and you gulped. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. 

    “Did you just kiss me?”

    “Y-yeah, so I cheated. You play dirty too,” you returned defensively.

    “I didn’t kiss you.” His gaze was unrelenting, and you felt your cheeks growing warm.

    “Sorry,” you managed, still avoiding eye contact. 

    “Look at me.”

    Slowly, you turned your head to meet his eyes. 

    He was smirking. “You like me, don’t you?”

    “Aren’t friends supposed to like each other?” you responded, dodging the real meaning behind his question.

    “I think you like me more than that. I think you have warm, squishy, sparkly feelings for me,” teased Baekhyun, and you wished you could wipe that smug look off his face.

    “Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on your part. Maybe you have secret tingly, lovey-dovey feelings for ME,” you accused, hoping to get him on the defensive.

    “Maybe I do.” Baekhyun winked, and you threw a pillow at him.

    “Shut up.” You returned your attention to the video game, getting your character back on course to finish the third lap.

    The screens became motionless, the pause screen appearing over both. You turned to look questioningly at Baekhyun, who put down his controller. He turned and sat facing you, looking more serious. “Listen to me.”

    “Okay,” you said, not quite sure what was going on.

    “I… like you.”

    You laughed. “Yeah. I like you, too. That’s why we’re friends, remember?”

    Baekhyun rubbed his face in his hands. “No. I want to be more than that. I have… feelings for you.”

    The smile fell away from your lips. You looked at him for a long time. His eyes were too dark, too serious. “That’s not funny,” you said quietly.

    “I’m not joking.” He put his hand on your knee, gazing at you intently. “I have feelings for you. Since pretty much forever, and I’m tired of being only a friend to you. I need to know if you feel the same way.”

    Your heart was racing, your skin tingling at his touch. “I…” You couldn’t lie again. “I..” But you also couldn’t face him when you finally admitted your secret. You covered your face with your hands. “Ilikeyoutoo,” you finally said all at once. Hearing no response, you peeked between your fingers. 

    Baekhyun was grinning broadly. “You… what? I don’t think I heard you correctly, with your hands on your face like that." 

    Oh, that little shit.

    Slowly removing your hands from your face, you muttered, "I like you, too.”

    “Sorry, could you repeat that a little louder? There must’ve been some fluff in my ear; it sounds like you’re speaking very softly." 

    "I’m not going to say it again!” you scowled.

    Baekhyun was smirking again. He took hold of both of your wrists, pinning you down onto the couch. He leaned close to you, and you gasped. His breath tickled your ear as he whispered, “Say it.”

    “I like you.”

    His lips met yours immediately, and he released your wrists, propping himself up on one arm and skimming along your side with his free hand. With your hands now free, you ran your fingers through his hair like you’ve wanted to do for so long. Baekhyun groaned, and he moved away from your lips to plant kisses along your jaw and down your neck. You felt his soft lips against your skin, his tongue poking out lightly to taste your neck, and you couldn’t hold back a soft moan. You heard his breath catch in his throat, and he sucked on that spot, grazing it lightly with his teeth. Another involuntary moan left your throat, this time slightly louder. 

    A quiet laugh escaped Baekhyun’s lips. “You’re going to have to be quieter than that. There are still people downstairs.”

    With his lips momentarily releasing you from their captivity, the fog lifted from your mind for a moment. “Oh, crap. I have to give my friend a ride home,” you recalled suddenly.

    “Who?” Baekhyun still looked dazed, his lips parted, breathing heavily, and his hair was all tousled and messy from when your fingers ran through it. It was all you could do to keep from pulling his lips back down to meet yours.

    “My friend, the one I came with. You met her at the Christmas party.”

    “She’s not here. Chen gave her a ride.”

    “He- he what?” you groaned. “Are you serious right now?" 

    "Yeah. They left, like, an hour ago. Probably went to hook up somewhere." 

    You sighed, annoyed that she hadn’t bothered to text you. Although, come to think of it, she probably could have and you might not have heard it over the Mario Kart war that had been happening not too long ago. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you checked it and saw three new text messages. Baekhyun climbed off you as you pressed "open”. 

    Chen’s taking me to get coffee or something. You’re off the hook. 

    Helloo? You can go home and be antisocial now if you want :) 

    I heard you playing Mario Kart upstairs. Nerd. Have fun. 

    The door shut. You looked up from your phone when you heard the lock click. Baekhyun was walking slowly back to the couch, a smile slowly appearing on his face, and you wondered why there was even a lock to the rec room. You were distracted from these thoughts, however, when Baekhyun’s lips met yours once more. Smiling into his kiss, you began tugging at his shirt, and he obligingly raised his arms so you could pull it off him. 

    Okay, so maybe it was a good thing you came to this party after all.