#ugly coloring but they're my boys
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Satoru & Suguru in chapter 236
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I'm not a writer but i had this thought so- bear with me, yeah?
For months Eddie hears all about how cool and badass Steve Harrington is, yeah, but you know what he also hears about? How Steve and Robin are made for each other and how cool and pretty Robin is and how stupid it is that they're not a couple for some dumb reason, like Steve not wanting to be with a band geek and still clinging to high school hierarchy. And in all of the things Dustin says about Steeeve Harrington, that last part is the only thing that fits into the Munson Doctrine, so obviously everything else Henderson is saying is what's skewed in his little shrimp world view.
Steve Harrington thinks he's better than a band geek and that's why we won't look twice at a girl that would be perfect for him (according to Dustin Henderson, so... still questionably trustworthy information). Eddie probably assumes Dustin is talking up how close Steve and Robin actually are, just how he's exaggerating how close Dustin himself is to Harrington (like that would impress Eddie and the rest of Hellfire??? He really doesn't know how to get through to the little sheep that his worship of Hawkins' most notorious square is a detriment to his character and not something Eddie would find impressive. If it was real. Which it obviously isn't. Anyway-)
Turns out? Steve Harrington? Actually a cool dude. Not cool as in popular but cool as in "holy shit did he just bite that thing's head off???? Oh and he's not even gonna brag about that, it's just nbd, yeah sure, cool cool cool be fucking cool Eddie, oh god he's talking to me why is he talking to me" and just, chill to hang out with. After the whole shit show went down. Who would have fucking thought, huh? (except for Dustin Henderson, yeah yeah yeah, shut up)
So now Eddie has to reevaluate some other assumptions he made. Maybe Dustin was right and Steve actually is cool and badass, and he and Buckley actually are as close as he had said (and they really fucking are! He has seen them give Keith eerily matching bitchy looks for trying to schedule them on opposing shifts and basically bully the guy into changing the schedule around so they can spend as much time as possible in each other's presence. It's enough to make a guy question his own friendships when sometimes a few hours of band practice are enough to make him want to never see any of those chucklefucks again. Of course, that feeling abates but seriously, how are those two never sick of each other??)
So if they're as close as advertised but not a couple (and after meeting everyone Steve cares about and they're basically all nerds so the "Harrington thinks he's too good for a band geek" thing can't actually hold true-) what is the hold-up? Why aren't they a couple? And somehow, somehow Eddie comes to the conclusion that Steve is in love with Robin. Steve is a serial romantic (emphasis on romantic) and while his love life isn't the talk of the town post-earthquakes as it would have been before, people do still talk about the fact that he hasn't taken out a girl since it happened.
Which brings us to a day in summer, maybe fall, after Eddie has seen Steve look wistfully at a young couple with a baby, that he shows up at Robin's door step.
"Eddie? Hey what's up?"
"Good, good, how are you? Uhh can I... can I come in?" There's a nervous energy around him that is immediately infectious and she leads him to the living room where he immediately starts walking back and forth in front of the couch. She watches him for a moment, hands fluttering through different motions trying to find one that might calm him down before giving up on that. Instead Robin swerves around him, clambering onto the couch and wrapping her arms around her right leg, putting her head on her knee. She follows Eddie's path with her eyes and decides to wait before quickly realizing that she can't, actually.
"As riveting as it is watching you walk a groove into my parents' rug, do you maybe want to say something? I mean I can definitely talk enough for the both if us if that's what you want it's just that I have the slight suspicion you've got something you need to get off your chest" Eddie stopped walking halfway through her monologue and starts nodding.
"Yeah. Yeah yeah yes you're right it's just- I haven't a hundred percent made up my mind about saying something", Eddie has one arm wrapped around himself and uses the other to alternately play with his hair and gesticulate at her, "because on the one hand it's a little bit driving me crazy, maybe, but on the other hand this is none of my fucking business" And Robin who was worried at first just because Eddie is nervous, then for a second because she was scared he was going to confess to a very ill-advised crush on her, is stumped. What the fuck is this about and why did it bring him to her of all people?
"Just say it you weirdo", is what decides to comes out of her mouth but it doesn't even matter because half of her sentence is layered with his "Are you aware Steve is in love with you?"
[here we're facing the issue of me not actually being a writer and pretty much running out of steam but we also haven't reached the part that sparked this whole thing yet, which is wild - let's just pretend I wrote a very funny dialogue between those two in which Eddie confronts Robin for stringing poor Steve along ]
There's a moment when they're both silent and there's a moment when they're both talking and then there are steps coming down the stairs. They make a smirk grow on Robin's face that is starting to worry Eddie when not a parental figure but Steve Harrington steps through the doorway. He's wearing sweatpants and a shirt that might be Robin's and there's a headband pushing his hair away from his face.
"Don't yell at me for coming downstairs, you took forever and the first layer... is... dry....", he stops in his tracks the moment he looks up from his bare toes and sees Eddie. Then he very quickly rips off the headband and slings it somewhere to his right into the unknown of the hallway.
"Hi Eddie. What's... up" Eddie is going to sink into the floor and never come up for air again.
In the meantime Robin stood up on the couch to sit cross-legged on the back of it for a better vantage point and is steepling her fingers in front of her face. Eddie is getting the distinct impression he's missing some crucial information here.
"Stevie, babe, platonic love of my life-", Steve nods for her to go on, "you know how we decided I get a veto on your romantic life because we realized droves of suboptimal dates actually make you miserable so we're going for quality over quanity for the first time in your small-town Casanova life?" Steve has that cute little crease between his eyebrows while he's looking back and forth between Eddie and Robin, trying to figure out what's going on but he rolls his eyes at the end of her sentence, back in familiar territory. "Yes, Robin-"
She interrupts: "And you know how I also reserved the right to give a shovel slash molotov cocktail talk to anyone we deemed worthy of being a potential future partner?" Steve's face somehow shows an emotion that can only be encapsulated by "?!" as he glances to Eddie before shifting back to Robin with just the "?" remaining.
"First I have to say I'm personally very pro, I loved this experience; Eddie here really made a fool of himself, very worried for your delicate sensibilities and how I'm breaking your sweet little heart." "...what...?"
"So: what's the verdict on a potential future partner giving me the shovel talk?"
#Robin had painted 7 of Steve toes when Eddie rang the doorbell btw#they're a dark blue because Steve didn't want to jump into the deep end with too feminine a color#but black felt too edgy#but while they were drying and on the way down he kept looking at them and thinking#''i don't think this is my color... maybe a light blue? no too baby boy. yellow? nah that's ugly. orange? wait maybe with a stripe?#can nails be striped...?'' so when he arrived downstairs he was starting to worry he had never looked at a girl's nails because he didn't#know and whether that was sexist somehow#he had to shift gears very quickly when he arrived downstairs is what i'm saying#anyway i cannot stress enough how much i am not a writer#but the thing with the reverse shovel talk came to me and it wanted out#platonic stobin#steddie fic#steddie#hey i'm talkin' here#robin buckley#steve harrington#eddie munson#not beta read#personal tag: hall of fame
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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Hello!! Before I start, I just want to say that your green profile aesthetic is so prettyyy😭😭😭 it honestly reminds me of Pinterest idk. Can I request IT!girl!reader dating middle school Izuku? (im just in love w loser bf x drop dead gorg reader!)
tysm anonnie !!❤️❤️
im not sure if i did this right, but here u go 😭💕
~
you, an IT girl, dating izuku in middle school
- now this is quite the unexpectation
- what were you doing with the quirkless loser, Deku??
- you, so full of confidence with the way you carried yourself, loads of friends, grades of flying colors, beauty unmatched, a strong quirk. the list goes on
- him? the only thing remarkable is probably his will to keep going. just a quirkless outcast, a shameless nerd with unreachable dreams
- LITERALLY THIS LMFAOO:
- so why? it came as a GREAT surprise to see a post of you and Deku hanging out at a kitty cafe on insta. was it a dare? a prank? like ts gotta be some typa joke right
- WRONGG.
- they're merely scratching the surface, a surface that's not at all what it seems
- he's a really sweet boy, completely taken advantage of because of his meekness
- despite being quirkless, he was the realest person you've encountered in the school: observant, hard working, respectful. it's not like a quirk defines you anyway
- it's so embarrassing watching a classmate with the most ugly, useless, atrocious quirk you've ever witnessed poke fun at Deku
- like oh my GOSH dude they get humbled QUICK after you mention that you'd rather be quirkless
- like atp that ain't a quirk that's a disability 💀—not to be mean, but to make a point that Deku is just as capable of becoming a hero as anyone else
- going to school dances with Deku would be a lot more enjoyable if it weren't for those meddling whispers about you two. he often gets pushed to the sidelines 'cause you get swarmed by your friends and bombarded with questions :(
- but in the end, you came with him and mattered the most to him.
- he gets so nervous when he's around you, help him, he can't even look at you
- not in offense or anything. you make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he can't help but feel enveloped by your presence
- you're this beautiful ray of light and he's kinda just..the shadow that follows after
"Izuku...Izuku did I do something wrong?"
"What? N-No! Of course not!"
"Then why aren't you looking at me?"
"Because you're—you're really pretty..."
"Pfft. You're really pretty too."
- Deku doesn't really initiate anything, thinking it'd be too lame or uncomfortable for you :( and if he does, he'll hesitate and drawback any ideas aforethought
- he follows you like a little puppy, always at your disposal
- he knows NOTHING about dating, only the note of going to amusements parks and sharing a sweet treat
- his confidence dwindles :( maybe he could learn a thing or two from you? <3
- when i tell you he was absolutley shocked when you confessed to him. his immediate reaction was playing it off as a joke
Wh..What? Oh...very funny, y/n...Huh..? YOU'RE SERIOUSOWUEIDEGHD!?!?
- he ALWAYS questions your feelings towards him—why me of all others? but i'm just a regular boy and you're..you? (gorgeous, pretty, beautiful, super cool, whole hearted, sweet...)
- and you can reassure everytime—because you're you and i like you!! a one of a kind.
- Deku doesn't have much to give to you, but he does have a big heart and alotta love
- maybe he is a loser, but he's your loser, and you wouldn't have him any other way
#w.midizu#izuku x reader#deku x reader#midoriya x reader#deku x y/n#bnha x reader#deku x you#izuku x you#mha x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#deku headcanons#izuku midoriya#deku#deku fluff
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hope ur having a delightful break bb, lord knows you deserve it!!! <3 i've got a little request for you whenever you're back, if you're interested in writing it - i would love to see poly!marauders with a reader who's high and giggly and they're lightly teasing/they think it's cute!! either way, i'm sending my love and hugs and kisses to u!!! <33
Combined this with: hi lovely !! i hope you’ve had an amazing day/night <33 if you haven’t already (i’m sorry if you did, ignore this if you have !), can you write a poly!marauders x fem reader who loves sea animals and the boys decide to take her to an aquarium? Thank you both for requesting, hope this is alright <33
cw: weed
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 770 words
Sirius is fairly sure this is the best idea he’s ever had. And he will be expecting full credit.
Your eyes are giant and filled to the brim with wonder as you stare into the tank, your face awash in a blue glow that shifts with the water.
“A flamboyant cuttlefish,” you murmur, seemingly to yourself.
Behind you, James squeezes Remus’ hand playfully. “You’re my cuttlefish,” he whispers. Remus groans.
Sirius follows your gaze. “Oh, that thing is ugly.”
“Don’t say that!” You reach back without turning around, smacking his chest lightly with the back of your hand. Your face is split into the same grin that has hardly wavered since the gummy you’d taken first kicked in. “They can change colors whenever they want. You’re totally jealous.”
“And yet it’s chosen shit brown.”
James releases Remus’ hand to come and crouch beside you, tracking the fish’s movements with dilated pupils. “Is that why it’s flamboyant?” he asks you.
You hum happily. “When they’re threatened, they shift colors and move their fins. They’re also highly toxic. So,” you shoot your boyfriend an impish look, “just like Sirius.”
James’ laughter is booming. He takes on the role of your protector, sticking out an arm to ward Sirius off when the other boy grabs for you. Remus shushes them both, shooting apologetic looks towards irritated-looking aquarium patrons.
“Where do you learn all this stuff, dove?” he asks you at a more polite volume. “TV?”
Your grin turns sheepish. James makes heart eyes at you, thumbing at the dimple in your cheek. “Would it make you feel better if I said I read it in a study?”
“A bit, yeah.”
“Too bad.”
You erupt in giggles at your own joke. James tries to catch you when you tip backwards, but instead the both of you go down, your laughter worsening.
“Jesus,” Remus murmurs, shaking his head. He’s doing a poor job hiding his own amusement, though, the scar across his lip stretching as he suppresses a smile.
Sirius snickers as he crouches in front of the two of you. “Having fun?”
“Yeah.” Your grin is lopsided. Dopey. “Thanks for sharing with me. I feel nice.”
“Anytime, gorgeous.”
“I really like weed.”
“Alright,” Remus steps in, hooking his arms under your and James’ armpits to haul you both up, “let’s quiet down about that, love. Go back to looking at the fish.”
“Oh!” you gasp and point. “That one looks just like you, Siri!”
Sirius is about done with this game, he thinks as he stands to peer into the glass. His mouth puckers in distaste. “Thanks,” he stretches out the vowels, making his insincerity heard.
“No, no.” You throw yourself into his side cajolingly. He pretends to ignore you, and you hang off his arm, laughing. “Baby, it’s because it has fine features and it’s, like, glowy. See?”
“It’s a fish,” Remus points out.
James squints, nose nearly touching the glass. “I think I kind of see it,” he says. You nod eagerly. “Why does this fish have cheekbones? Do they usually?”
You shake your head, looking somewhat flummoxed. There’s a cute crinkle between your brows. Remus looks at you curiously.
“Do you know what kind that is?” he asks you.
You frown. “I don’t.”
“Okay,” he says, taking your hand to go to the signs bordering the tank, “let’s find out.”
Sirius is a tad jealous as you lean into Remus’ front, playing with his fingers, but Remus won't be diverted. He scans the placards until he finds it.
“Here, it’s a flashlightfish,” he says quietly. You make a satisfied humming sound, leaning forward to scan the information with eager eyes. “Flashlightfish prefer to stay out of the sun,” Remus reads, “hiding in deeper reef waters during the day. They have small bean-shaped pockets under either eye which are filled with billions of symbiotic bacteria that emit a biochemical light.” Sirius lets the words filter in one ear and out the other, but you’re rapt. Your wide eyes shift from the placard to the fish itself, watching as its light winks in and out. “This light is used to evade predators as well as for a visual Morse code to attract mates and communicate within schools of fish.”
Sirius watches as the two of you stand there for a minute, Remus’ arms slung loosely over your front as blue light from the tank dances over you both.
“You could do audiobooks,” you tell Remus. Your voice is chock full of sincerity. “You’ve got the voice for it.”
He chuckles, setting his chin on your head fondly. “You think so?”
“Mhm.”
“Thanks, dove.”
#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x fem!reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders x y/n#poly!marauders x self insert#poly!marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders fanfic#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders drabble#poly!marauders scenario#poly!marauders one shot#poly!marauders oneshot#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#the marauders#marauders x reader#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#hp marauders
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*cracks knuckles* here I am again. this time with Micah as my victim
so at first,
you definitely should add some more story to him. so far, if I'm being honest, he feels a bit too plain to me. but oh boy, what a potential I see here!
alright lets begin
omg look at him! such a hypocrite! how smart it is, to put all blame on MC while being just as (actually even more) sinful. and he sure hides well; it's your fault, isn't it? oh you and your sinful mind.
buut despite him not really being my cup of tea, I still do like a good old concept of ugly insides, hidden behind a beautiful shell (if that's the vibe you were going for).
Micah seems so pure, so holy, almost like an angel (you played smart by adding a lot of white in his design) – but behind that pristine facade? he's ugly. and that shell eventually starts to crack, because no matter how pure he may seem, Micah is just as human as we are, and definitely not a good one. and what are we, if not a bunch of cruel, egotistical animals? and deep inside he's exactly that, sickeningly human. with that in mind the very first comic you did abt him is actually pretty hilarious to me. your desires? what about his desires, which are strong enough to ruin your whole life?
I kinda feel like he's also a little pathetic in his own way; if he can't make you fall for him, he will break you. isn't it like a very cowardly move? he wants you badly enough to use whatever method it may require to have you, but will never admit it.
but let's talk about that strange desire to destroy MC's purity. why? to make you just as dirty as he is? cute, but doesn't seem like a full explanation to me. he's a priest, right? and even despite those dark insides of his, I feel like Micah still kept at least some of the priest mindset. I mean, they're raised and taught with a very strict discipline. so I feel like deep down, he feels bad (not ashamed, but in a "how dare they" way) for his attraction to you, and punishes you for that attraction. it's not your fault, of course, but who cares? you managed to destroy his perfect, clean facade, which he was methodically building for his whole life with simply your existence. isn't that unfair? so now you must fall into the depths of hell with him.
I like how we can't justify him. Micah is perfectly aware of what he is doing. and of twisted nature of his feelings too, I think, yet still chooses to indulge in his desires, even if it hurts you, the person he was supposed to love and cherish. he makes me feel an absolute, poetic rage, and I love a character I can hate. (don't get me wrong, it meant to be a praise)
and I absolutely adore his design. also if I was on point with the idea you meant for him, that is wonderful too. if a character makes me feel something, I like that character. but girl, you really should add more details about him. because everything I've written here is, basically, just my own brainstorming and bare theories. Micah needs to have more meat on him for a full character analysis >_>
but anyway, I actually have a question.
what if MC wasn't in any way pure? what if they're a complete opposite of that word? count it on my love for hunchback of notre dame
unlike the nun MC, I suggest a MC who fully embraces their sins. like an evil succubus, they enjoy the joys of being tainted. they know what influence they have on their dear Father Micah, and isn't ashamed of that. I feel like that would make a pretty interesting story
(cough cough draw him blushing and moaning and my life is yours darling)
Another absolutely incredible ask I'll have a field day answering.
I do agree with him being a bit under developed at the moment. Micah was a bit unfortunate as in he was never meant to be an actual character. He was just a momentary creation who existed for me to study color theory. A beautiful man of flowers who didn't have an identity.
Then he joined the cast when I was busy with working on commissions and the 5k celebration comic so I didn't have the time to draw his introduction comic with the things I had planned for him, though I've been trying my best to explore him a bit more thru asks like this one. The fact that I don't want to spoil the stuff I'll draw in his comic is also holding me back a little.
I think Micah is evil, but not completely bad. A man who was born twisted, who was raised into goodness, and even with all the love he received never truly got rid of his inner darkness, but just once, just for one moment, I think he had good in his heart. And that is when he first saw you.
With all his twistedness, all his evilness, all his darkness, I think that love he felt for you was truly pure. Because in his eyes you appeared truly beautiful, like a pure lily.
But Micah isn't a pure man, neither does he want to be. So he prefers to pull you down to his level, so that you two can be sinful together. A truly impure way of feeling that pure and innocent love.
I have gotten asks about him with a more rowdy darling, one who isn't a nun or one who is more sinful. I've been really brainstorming about it but I don't think it would work. Not because I personally can't force the story into being like that but because I think it was just not meant to be like that.
You see I do come up with the characters, but I don't control their actions. If the character is unwilling I can't shape the story to my will. Because that story is their life and they control it. The best I can do is to try to fill the gaps I can.
I might prefer submissive yanderes, I might want Micah to have a more sinful darling instead but it wouldn't be Micah's story anymore. That's one of the reasons why he's so different from the rest of the boys. I'm not super into very dominant guys, I could probably count the ones I have with one hand, it wasn't my intention for Micah to be the way he is, but I don't think he could've been any other way.
Micah was just meant to be manipulative, a gaslighter, a dirty man who'll pull anything to push you below him.
I guess me looking at my stories from an actual novel or manga perspective also contributes to this. Father Micah exists to shine with a darling who he can soil.
Now the darling can maybe go against him in the future, she might rebel or give in to his sinful ways, but that's a different story.
#asks#micah#yandere priest#yandere priest x reader#fanart#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#male yandere#yandere
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Winter Wonderland || F1/F2
type :: fluff
tw/cw :: none
contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, max, ollie, paul, pepe
summary :: decorating your home together for the holiday season with the drivers
xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist
Carlos Sainz | 55
Very vintage, and rich looking
It's a true money style of richness, with a big ass tree filled with presents underneath it
There's even ribbons on all the gifts
Why? Because his mom and other family members are so rich and retired that they're fucking bored and added it
Most likely you live with him and he just reuses the same ornaments and stuff from last year
But you don't care, it's so pretty
But!!!! You two get a little custom ornament that's really cute
Probably your anniversary date or smth on it
Charles Leclerc | 16
A nice rich Christmas too, but more sleek and modern-ish
He loved decorating as a kid with his siblings but now that he has his own tree??? Man that's so much work
He'll let you take care of the tree and most of the decor, but he doesn't just sit on his ass
He'll help pick the items, theme, etc
And also help put up the heavy duty stuff, like lights around the house and stuff
But putting each and every flower into the reefs??? Oh noooo he's suddenly so soreeee nooooo
After like 10 ornaments, he's suddenly complaining and saying "my physical therapist told me it's bad to do repetitive motions"
He's a liar but you don't even care, cause he bought everything for you
And he'll give you constant praise in person and online for your decorating skills
Lando Norris | 04
Frat boy party vibes but honestly,,, I fuck with it
Tons of colors, lights, and it's so fun to look at
Loves decorating with you and making it very chaotic
And also very ghetto...
This man doesn't even use staples or tape to hold up the lights on the wall
Why? Because he couldn't find any and didn't wanna go out to get them
So now your lights are being held up by wood glue... or your eyelash glue that he stole... or any random sticky substance...
No he doesn't use old condoms, don't think that
Oscar Piastri | 81
He don't gaf
However YOU want to decorate, he obeys
Whether that's an all pink tree, ugly ahh skinny tree that holds one ornament, or the biggest more extravagant Christmas ever
If his beautiful partner tells him to stfu he stfu, like a good boyfriend
And even better???
He not only pays for any decoration you want, no matter how expensive or stupid it is (he just loves seeing you happy)
But he also helps put up and cleans EVERYTHING
He's up on the roof decorating, cleaning the fireplace just to make it pretty, and even re-arranging the entire living room just for you to have the perfect spot for the tree
Some call him whipped
I call him a real man
Max Verstappen | 01
He also don't gaf
But, not in the Oscar way
He fr doesn't gaf at all
Expect an ugly ass tree, or most likely not even a tree
If you're lucky, you'll get the strip of reef in the pic above
But there's a very high chance that you'll just get a printed photo of a Christmas tree that's hung on the wall
BUT he does love stupid Christmas decor
So things like a funny statue, a creepy elf on the shelf, etc are all very welcomed
Luckily, Max isn't an asshole and will 10000% celebrate however you like at all
He's just gonna follow your lead and do whatever is needed from it... With minimal effort firstly...
Oliver Bearman | 87
Like Max, but really cute and funny
He has the Christmas spirit and loves it very much
One thing he did that's very very cute is that he ordered those big inflatable
But he didn't check the size...
So now you have a 35feet tall Satan in your yard!!! Yay!!!
He's in the Christmas spirit and he got the right idea
Maybe he doesn't have the skill to decorate it,,, but he has the spirit!
Paul Aron | 17
A classy and modern Christmas
Most likely white and a bit of a snow theme going on
Mixed with black too, cause that's his aesthetic ya know
He's very active when it comes to decorating
Always helping you pick what to get, which matches each other, etc
He's also very worried about the measurements, so he always makes sure to take note of the space you have to make sure everything fits
Also helps you put everything up, it's so sweet and domestic
Like: he holds your waist while you stand on the ladder to put the star up
Pepe Marti | 21
I'm mad at him rn cause why is every photo of him so bad
But he's so painfully unaware of the fact that he's tall
The tree only has ornament son the top
All the lights and decorations are put where you can't even see
And he keeps assigning you tasks that you cannot reach
Which he learns to take note of, always laughing at you before saying sorry
The decoration is very warm and homey
Definitely the type to bring over his friends to have dinner all together
His home isn't crazy decorated, but still nice and cozy
Which perfectly matches your relationship's vibes
#f1#f2#formula 1#formula 2#f1 x reader#f2 x reader#carlos sainz x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri x reader#max verstappen x reader#ollie bearman x reader#oliver bearman x reader#paul aron x reader#pepe marti x reader#xmas celly!
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Everything on your wish list, Spencer Reid
A/n: trying new tagging systems so ig this is Boyfriend!Spencer x black!fem!reader
You and Spencer both had complicated connections to holidays. Growing up with complicated families, this time of year was always hard.
Before his father left, Spencer remembered his mom reading books to him before bed on Santa Claus and polar bears. As a logical child, he didn't truly believe in the large man up north. His father would leave presents under the tree. But being a “busy” man, he never had time to understand what a boy like Spencer would want. Or wrap any of his clearly thoughtful gifts.
As friends, you could always count on one another for something small and sentimental. You often giving Spencer signed books or classics. While he was one to pay attention to the little details. And with an eidetic memory, that was easy to do.
But with this being your first Christmas together, Spencer wanted to make sure he made it a good one. Starting with flashy matching sweaters that Spencer refused to call ugly. And decorations, leaving his apartment covered in colorful lights. The only thing that was left were your presents. And with Garcia's help, Spencer made sure he got you everything you wanted.
“Could you bring me more tape ?”
Spencer asked as he cut a long strip of red ribbon. He was insistent on adding bows to each of the already wrapped boxes. That and a personally signed noted. With a smile and a small “sure” you left the living room before quickly returning with the tape. But once you caught a better look at Spencer's Christmas tree, you were shocked.
Boxes upon boxes of varying sizes, all wrapped and all with bows atop them. And those weren't the only ones. The bowless gifts were sitting on the coffee table, in front of him.
“Spencer you know Christmas is in a few days right. You need to drop these off before it's too late. I thought you already dropped off everyone's gifts?”
He looks away sheepishly, unsure what to say.
“I have.”
Confused, your eyebrows pulled together.
“So whose gifts are these?”
He hesitates before answering. Taking a seat beside him on Spencer's couch, you pick up a cookie and took a bite. Humming at the sweet taste and warm, soft, certainly somewhat under done center.
“Yours.” he says with a small shrug, trying to ease you into the idea.
But you weren't quite catching onto what your boyfriend was suggesting.
“You mean ours ?”
He shakes his head, continuing to tie bows on boxes.
“Just yours.”
You continued to eat your tree shaped cookie as you looked over the boxes.
“All of them are mine? Like all of them.”
He nods and smiles sweetly.
“Merry Christmas.”
He looks beyond proud of himself. Excited even. It's so cute. The way his brown eyes and pink dusted face lights up. You could practically see the Christmas spirit in his eyes. The love for making people feel seen in the form of hand wrapped gifts and handwritten cards.
“Spencer, there's no way I had that many things on my wishlist. I can't even think of that many things that I want.”
When you spoke about gift giving, you agreed on a list. Naturally, both of you wanted to give the other a few things as genuine surprises. But this was far more than a few things. The corner of Spencer's living room with his unique and hefty decorated tree was backed with boxes. The large red tree skirt was overwhelmed, leaving only slivers of the bright fabric to be seen.
“You mentioned some things, and Garcia offered to helped me.”
Confused, you gave Spencer an uncertain look. Help from Garcia could mean a multitude of things. Legal and illegal. Though you knew she meant good, she wasn't one to shy away from doing things her way.
“Is this one of those prank gift things? Am I going to open the boxes, and they're empty ?”
Spencer wasn't one for cruel pranks. But from time to time him and Garcia would attempt it.
He shook his head.
“All the boxes are full.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
You stood and walked to the tree, unsure how much you believed Spencer and his plush Christmas tree.
“So you wouldn't mind if I open a few gifts.”
You weren't being entirely serious but now more than ever
you were genuinely curious to see what he'd gotten you. And how much you'd have to spend to compete with it.
“Normally people open one gift on Christmas Eve, but we can make a new tradition.”
Spencer picks one up. It was one of the smaller ones, wrapped with red paper and tied with a white bow.
“Here, open this one today.”
“Why this one ? What's inside it ?”
Your skepticism was hard to hide.
“If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise.” Spencer said matter-of-factly, yet there was a softness to his words.
You took the gift from Spencer. Both of you taking a seat by the tree and other boxes. You open the present and quickly found that Spencer was telling the truth. It was perfume, a designer perfume you'd had when you were younger. Something your mother had passed down to you.
You hadn't seen the brand in years. Nor the large bottle. The one you'd shared with your mom was smaller. Less than half what Spencer had bought you. And engraved in the glass was your name.
“Merry Christmas.” Spencer whispered with a small smile.
You were silent for a moment, taking it in.
“How did you-”
He explained how he'd remembered you talking about the perfume a few times. Originally, he'd gone to a few stores and malls himself to search for it. But after not finding it, he'd called Garcia for back up. Within the hour, she was able to find a few resellers online. That and haggle them on the price.
“Wait, so all of these are really my gifts?”
“Why wouldn't they be ?”
My full masterlist
Holiday shopping with sugar daddy Spencer 🛍️💳
Being with Spencer means getting lover letters on the regular
Illicit affairs
#christmas#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds#black reader#spencer reid x black!reader#black girl imagines#black girl fluff#spencer reid fluff#mjlovescm#black fem reader fluff#black fem reader#christmas fluff
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"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | PART I
Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
WHEN THE UNEXPECTED NIECE OF MURRAY BAUMAN GETS THROWN IN THE MIX, THE GANG HAS NO IDEA JUST WHAT THEY'RE IN FOR. SCRATCH THAT - STEVE DOESN'T KNOW. YOU GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE WELL. YOU BANTER WITH THE ADULTS, WHO APPRECIATE YOUR HELP. THE KIDS LOVE AND WORSHIP YOU. YOU'RE HELPFUL ALL AROUND. BUT AS FAR AS STEVE IS CONCERNED, YOU'RE JUST NUISANCE. AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE REASON HE LOST THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND MISSED OUT ON A LIFE THAT "COULD'VE BEEN." IF YOU HAD JUST KEPT YOUR SORRY ASS OUT OF THE PICTURE... IF YOU HAD NEVER GONE WITH NANCY AND JONATHAN AFTER THEY LEFT YOUR WHACK-JOB UNCLE, MURRAY BAUMAN'S, BUNKER? HE WOULD BE HAPPY. SO F*CKING HAPPY. BUT HERE YOU WERE. YOU WERE BASICALLY THE COOLER (...AND SURE, MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE) FEMALE VERSION OF MURRAY BAUMAN. YOU WERE SARCASTIC, QUICK-WITTED, TOO SMART FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, AND APPARENTLY BUILT FOR THE WAR. SURE, YOU WEREN'T AS BRASH AS YOUR UNCLE. BUT IN STEVE'S EYES, YOU WERE SOMEHOW FAR MORE OBNOXIOUS. HE DOWNRIGHT HATED YOU. HE WILL FOREVER HATE YOU... BUT WILL HE?
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE COPIED AND/OR REPOSTED ON HERE OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR PUT INTO ANY AI PROGRAMS. THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG, MDNI.
An original fanfiction series, written by Misha St. James.
⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
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I did not proof-read this after Tumblr gave me hell trying to share. So pls excuse possible typos. hehe
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Let's just get to the point, shall we?
Once upon a time, a young boy named Will Byers went missing. Later, he was found in an alternate dimension by the world's #1 mom and a cynical cop turned hero. A girl with a shaved head had telekinetic superpowers, befriend's Will's four loyal friends along the way and helping them track down their missing party member. Then, whatever the hell was on the other side - whatever was in this...upside down...took back Eleven. She'd been missing ever since that dreadful winter.
Fast forward to now: you're sitting in your uncle's bunker, looking at his wild display of efforts. Papers, files, whiteboards covered in multiple words, arrows, sketches - all in different colored markers. Murray Bauman was on a mission, and he would be damned if that grumpy, cynical smart-ass known as Jim Hopper honestly thought that he could dismantle his efforts. Nice try, chum. Game on. Thankfully, you'd gone to school with Barbara Holland. That's whose parents had assigned the task of searching for her to your uncle. Murray was asking you tons of questions, and you were glad to help. It meant spending time with the only family member you cared for, despite his wackiness. You guys got each other. Bantered well. Got shit done. Honestly, it was also a great way of drinking safely and not with a bunch of rowdy teenagers at some stupid party. You got along just fine with everyone at school. But damn, they could all be annoying. ...especially Steve fucking Harrington, who was now the topic of conversation. You know, given that his house is where Barbara was last seen. "It just isn't making sense," your uncle huffed, raking his hands through his oily dark hair. You sipped on the glass of vodka that your uncle had poured you, hissing at the strong taste. Leaning across the coffee table, seated on his couch, you tried to connect the dots with him. "I'm telling you, someone in that group of teens knows what's up. Or at least has an idea." Your uncle swigged at his vodka, defeated but ruthlessly trying to piece together his clusterfuck of scattered evidence across his wall. "Well then, guess we better grill 'em."
And that's how you come into the picture. When Nancy and Jonathan came to seek out Murray. And when they arrive, they're surprised to see you. They recognize you from school. Jonathan took several classes with you. In fact, the two of you got along well at Hawkins High. No, you weren't close. But you both were cool. Nancy, on the other hand, didn't know anything about you. Just that you took political science with Barbara, and got straight A's across the board. You could've been class valedictorian. But you were not looking for any sort of title that demanded pressure or attention. At least not in high school. Career wise? Sure. Not here, though. Not Hawkins. "Your timeline is wrong," Nancy is saying, making you and Bauman freeze. Nancy is telling you that the girl with the buzzed hair is not Russian. She is, in fact, from Hawkins lab. And her name is...Eleven? So they do know something. And something turns out to be everything.
Jonathan sits you both down to relay everything to you both. And woof, does it give you guys a headache. Strangely, though... it makes a whole lot more sense than some mundane explanation of sorts. Obviously though, that puts you all in a tough spot where you'll all need to put your heads together. So the two classmates of yours stay, sharing in chilled Smirnoff and having to endure the hilarity that ensues between you and your uncle. You and Murray both banter well with the two of them. Jonathan finds you to be hilarious. Nancy finds you intimidating. Very intimidating. You’re quick witted, darkly humored and independent. But there is a reserved, mysterious sort of feminine energy to you, despite your more masculine strengths and bluntness. Over glasses of stiff vodka, you all come to the conclusion on how to go about exposing the truth about Barbara Holland's disappearance: water it down.
At the end of the night, you're all winding down -- you and your uncle having convinced the two lovebirds to stay. But when you're telling them they can take your uncle's guest room while you take the couch, Jonathan's asking if he can take the couch. You blink. Huh? ...surely Nancy is not still with --
"Okay, I'm confused," your uncle's saying. "What's going on here? Lovers quarrel?"
You cock an eyebrow, leaning back into the loveseat.
But Jonathan and Nancy are then talking over each other with weird, flustered excuses...saying they're just friends.
You and your uncle bust out laughing. And then you're shrinking back in your seat, knowing what's coming: one of your Uncle Murray's lovebird witchdoctor speeches that he barrels into anytime that two delusional people have convinced themselves that they aren't in love. Or at the very least, not into each other.
Uncle Murray is breaking them down, one at a time. He's reading Jonathan like an angsty teen novel, seeing right through him and his brooding, mysterious energy. Trust issues, thanks to daddy issues. Yikes, that makes you sip some more drink.
And then he's onto Nancy, saying that she's harder to read. But he manages anyway. It's the Bauman way.
He's telling her that she's likely like everyone else, "afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for you who you really are." He looks at you. "Am I in the right ballpark?"
You nod, swallowing the last drop of vodka in your cup. "That...and afraid of that might happen if she didn't retreat back to the safety of someone familiar."
Nancy looks bewildered. But more than that, she looks caught.
"Name?" your uncle is prodding, snapping his fingers. "Name."
You and Jonathan both say it. "Steve."
Uncle Murray's face is priceless. He feigns adoration, putting on a baby voice as he repeats the name. "Dawh. Steve. We like Steve."
"Yes," Nancy laughs nervously. Eek, you think.
"But we don't love Steve..." Your uncle's words floor Nancy.
And when Nancy's saying something about still being with Steve, insisting that she loves him, you roll your eyes. Even scoffing, getting her attention. Maybe if the vodka weren't in your system, you wouldn't be so bold. But Jonathan's mopey look just gives you more confidence.
"Boom, ladies and gents," you say with a grin. "Second lie of the evening." "The hell was the first one?" Jonathan asks, blinking. "You guys being just friends." You and your uncle say something along the same lines, simultaneously. You both laugh together, clinking glasses. The two not lovebirds just squirm awkwardly in their seats. Finally, you sigh. "Look. You guys don't wanna give up the ghost? Be my guest. I'll happily keep my bed." You stand up, ready to turn in. But not until casting them one last work, pointing a finger. "But if I were you two? I'd cut the bullshit and just share the damn bed." Murray snorts, rising to stand as well. He stretches. "Welllllp. I'm turning in for the night." You begin mounting the stairs, hollering: "Better act fast, kiddos. At least before this poison in my system knocks me out cold. Don't worry, Nancy, I don't snore. So if you do choose me, you're safe." "But that's so lame," Murray adds to that wryly, heading off to his room. You both tell each other goodnight, leaving the two angsty teens to decide their fate. All you know is that Nancy ends up walking out and not coming back, at one point in the night. Yeah, thought so. Breakfast the next morning is even more hilarious. You and your uncle ask every single question that drips with innuendo that you ever possibly could. And it's worth every fucking minute.
Murray's gonna need to keep that couch cleaned. To your surprise, Murray sends you off with Nancy and Jonathan, but given that you want to go and see it all for yourself you don't mind. You’re basically his little spy. Most uncles send off their nieces and nephews with some good advice, maybe a packed lunchbox or snacks, and a warm hug.
Yours, however, sends you off with a full bottle of vodka, a thick wad of cash and some fun sarcastic banter. But he headlocks you in for a hug, and you cackle. He really is a nutcase, and man you can't help but love him. He is so not the parental type. Yet somehow, he's practically raised you. And in your opinion, you're pretty well-prepared for the world. More than most, in Murray's opinion. So off you go with Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Buyers, and they both honestly enjoy your company. It helps them get past their umm...well...awkward new reality. That new reality that comes post-sex, after a long ass time of playing the tip-toe game. The sexual tension between them is hysterical to you. But you keep your thoughts to yourself for now. The vodka did most of the talking for you last night.
When you both arrive at wherever the hell your destination is, it's dark outside. And if you're being honest, it's pretty creepy. You're somewhere near the woods, and as you all walk closer you're beginning to see lights approaching you...along with a handful of shadowed figures.
Fuck, you literally just got here.
But then, after a tense several moments... Nancy and Jonathan call out to them. You jump, startled at the fact that they do it so confidently. But the name that they call out suddenly makes it all make sense. "STEVE?" "NANCY...?" And that's how you became a crucial part of the most royal pain in the ass, King Steve's, life.
#steve harrington angst#steve harrington#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington smut
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frat boy lip finding out that some new cocky, asshole freshman are being mean to other girls, let alone you oh it’s so over for them lip’s already got his foot on their neck (metaphorically or literally—depends on the situation tbh…)
obsessed w/ lip being so so protective over his little clingy crybaby gf ugh I need him to [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] no warnings, just some crying and a little bit of angry lip at the end!
when you step into lip's room with tearful eyes and mascara tracking down your rosy cheeks, he doesn't waste a second in scooping you up into bed with him. between situating you in his lap and kissing your wet cheeks he whispers; "who." not a question, a demand. "who the fuck made y'cry, baby? 'cause they're gonna regret it."
you inhale in a pitiful little sniffle and press your face against the firm muscle of his chest, shaking your head. "jus' some dick i-in the student center. h-he called my dress ugly!" you exclaim.
"the dress i bought ya? this gorgeous dress?" he asks, playing with the soft fabric of the skirt. he ruches it up past your thighs, letting it fall gently back over the swell of your ass. one firm hand rests there, the other cupping your jaw. "you think i would spend my hard earned money on an ugly dress? hm? dry the tears, sweet girl."
a wet laugh escapes your lips and an indescribable swell rushes over your poor, tormented heart. "no, y'wouldn't," you admit in a mumble as you wipe the remaining tears from under your eyes.
"good girl," he praises, scattering kisses all over your face in an attempt to hear that precious laugh of yours again. "so fuckin' sexy, this 's'ya color. he's jus' jealous, mad that y'so far outta his league. lemme show you, yeah?"
the worries slip from your mind in tandem with his hand slipping under your dress, and by that night you've forgotten all about it.
you don't remember the interaction until a few days later. you're seated on the half wall outside lip's frat house, a grin on your lips as you play bouncer alongside him. a loud, rude voice catches your attention and you shudder, pointing with the cig in your hand to a group of guys approaching the party. "lip, there! the one in the middle, that's the asshole from the student center."
lip gets a shit eating grin on his face and plucks the cig from your fingers, pushing off his spot on the wall. "y'want me to kick his ass, baby?" he kisses your cheek, not even waiting for a response before he marches up to the boy. "hey! who the fuck do y'think you are, huh?"
you hear the boy slur out some drunken excuse, his friends scattering towards another party nearby. it doesn't take long for him to swing at lip, at which you hear a hearty laugh rise from your boyfriend's chest. he catches the punch, twisting the boy's arm behind his back before leaning in towards his ear. you can't make out what lip says to him, but whatever it is does the trick because he ends up nodding solemnly. the pained grimace on his face is a laughable contrast against lip's cocky smirk as he walks the boy up towards you.
"what d'ya fuckin' say t'her, hm?" lip demands, stopping right in front of you. the boy is silent until lip twists his arm harder, drawing out a pained yelp. "i said, what the fuck d'ya say to her? or do i need to remind you."
"no, no! jesus, fine" the boy slurs, directing his gaze to you. "y'very pretty."
lip kicks his heel, not hard enough to knock it from under him, but just enough to hinder his balance. he pulls his cigarette from his lips, exhaling the smoke before demanding, "what did i say about respect."
"you are very pretty, ma'am," he repeats, pursing his lips before the next statement. "an' i'm a little bitch, w-with a littler dick."
you turn your gaze to lip, refusing to address the boy. "you can let him go, i guess," you tell him with a smile, and laugh when the boy stumbles.
"i don' wanna see you around here again, y'hear me?" lip calls out, flicking the ashes of his cigarette at the boy's retreating form.
#lip gallagher x reader#lip gallagher imagine#lip gallagher#shameless x reader#lip gallagher fluff#lip gallagher x you#lip gallagher x y/n#written by maggie [fics]
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Hcs about a Old lady mc with the obey me brothers. Just her treat the brothers like they were her grandchildren.
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{Granny's favorite}
☰[Main list]•⊰ Obey me!
↬[A/N]•⊰ It was such a nice and cute request, I love it soooo much 💞
╚═══════════════•⊰•°༄༚
At first, Lucifer feels that the presence of an old person causes disturbance. Sometimes he got angry because of grandmother's slowness. However, his heart melted when Grandma patted him on the head and reminded him what a good brother he was. Now he is grandma's favorite son who helps grandma knit new sweaters.
Granny's opinion: "hohoho, I like that that gentleman who has deep voice. He reminds me of my first crush when I was 19." *Granny has a crush on luci.*
On the other hand, Mammon first thought that this little granny was old and stupid, so he tried to steal from the them, But, the clever and smart granny slapped on the back of his hand and reprimanded him. After that, she stroked his cheek and gave him a chocolate. Now, like a puppy, Mammon is looking for his granny to praise him.
Granny's opinion: "Mammon is my little boi, if you hurt him, I'll kick your ass." *shy giggles*
Leviathan didn't care much about our cute granny, although she was more strict towards him and kept forcing him to come out of his room and not be isolated. After Grandma made a knitted doll of his beloved character, he became a huge fan of Granny.
Granny's opinion: "This young man needs to get kicked out of his room." *Granny doesn't know they're demons.*
Satan is the angry kid, although Granny knows how to teach naughty children. Granny easily pulls his ears and tells him to be calm and not to fight with his brothers. As a bonus, satan gets to sit with granny and learn how to knit a cat doll.
Granny's opinion: "I like kids who study hard. I'm sure he can be a great doctor." *Asian parents vibes*
Asmodeus did not like a wrinkled and ugly old woman. However, the grandmother easily won his heart because she made him a sweater in his favorite color and gave it to him. Now he wants more gifts from his dear Granny.
Granny's opinion: "At first I thought he's a girl. Sorry I am visually impaired." *takes a sip from her tea.*
At first, Beelzebub thought grandma was food because she smelled like a chocolate chip cookie. Of course, even now, he feels that Granny smells delicious. He loves the cookies that Granny bakes.
Granny's opinion: "don't tell others, but Beelly is my favorite grandson. He really likes my food and eats them all."
At first, Belphegor hated granny and felt that she had bewitched his brothers. Granny knows how to deal with an angry cow though. Now he waits every night for his granny to come and read story books to him.
Granny's opinion: "youngest child... he's a brat. Hohoho."
#𝚂𝚞𝚋𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜–[📩]#𝙰𝚛𝚒𝚊'𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚋𝚘𝚡–[📮]#obey me#obey me x gender neutral reader#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer x reader#obey me mammon x reader#obey me leviathan x reader#obey me fluff#obey me satan x reader#obey me asmodeus x reader#obey me beelzebub x reader#obey me belphegor x reader
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✰ SECRET ADMIRER
— highschoolers bakugo x fem!reader
synopsis: an anonymous love letter appears in your locker on valentine's day. surprised, you and your best friend start an investigation to uncover who was that person observing you from afar. meanwhile, a flushed bakugo tries to ruin your plans on the undercover alongside his shitty-haired buddy
cw: sfw; mostly fluff; lil angst; very insecure bakugo; romantic comedy; puberty; silly jokes; little swearing.
a/n: this is part one of three. let me know if you want this mini series to be continued :) and pls be patient since english is not my first language hehe ;;
word count: 1k
"oh c'mon! what if there's a heart shaped letter in your locker? you never know..."
"there's not."
"you can't be so certain about it. my girl is never looking her surroundings, who knows if someone got their heart pierced by an arrow?" mina pointed.
"shut up, every year the same thing..." you rushed and right after turning the corridor you captured by distance. "ok. maybe you were right." you said finding the metal compartment half closed.
then you grabbed the red paper in your hands, paying attention to the almost dry daisy taped lazily on the front; glanced around not spotting anything or anyone suspicious about it, then turned to your best friend.
"i got a feeling you're part of this." spurred.
"whoa, i was joking just now! even i am shocked. who's the sender?" the pink colored girl held her hands up in protest.
"i don't know, there's only my name." you stated carefully sticking the little flower out.
"let me search for a hint." mina took the letter from your hands suddenly, mumbling while quickly skimming through the words looking for something useful. she gasped before smirking at the content and then continued mumbling.
"enjoying yourself!?" you sighed waiting.
"mkay, done." handed the letter. "nothing between the lines. who wrote this sure is smart enough to not leak their identity."
"that's for me to decide. you ain't the smartest kind." you chuckled.
"hey!"
"more like the pretty girl type."
"you sly thing! you received a love letter, who's the pretty girl again?" both laughed at the statement and headed out to the cafeteria. "not reading it?"
"can't think when i am this hungry. we should hurry."
at the lunchtime the subject was the same. you two were discussing with your mouths full, sitting by yourselves on a table far enough from eavesdropping.
"hear me out. there's this line that seems to be rewritten over and over, it's a bit tattered." you mentioned. "it says: 'i'm still hesitant about what you think about me' and thanks to the pressure they put on paper seems to be 'afraid of who i am' underneath."
"adds a lot of nothing to our investigation. that's what everybody would say in a confession, i mean, nobody likes being dumped." pinky pointed out unfazed.
"yeah but, i don't think it's meaningless, what if this person is truly insecure about themselves." you pondered.
"or they're just ugly." mina chewed on her meal.
"i don't think that's the case... remember when you told me that thing you read about pretty boys' handwriting?" you brought up.
"did you actually believe that!? was just a discussion in a girl's meme forum." the pink one remarked.
"but there's some truth behind it. if you consider that people with a smaller hand can grip on a pen better when writing, also means the ones with big hands tend to have a sloppier handwriting!" you stated confident about your theory.
"girl, you're tripping... does this mean we're going across the school measuring boys' hands?" mina smirked unconvinced.
"precisely."
꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦
"what a fucking waste of time..." said raging.
"dude, calm down. at least you poured your feelings out..." eijiro reassured his bestfriend trying to point out the bright side of things.
but while he's the bright side, katsuki was the dark side. they say a good relationship is based in balance, in this case it makes total sense.
"you even checked if she read it?" asked the red haired.
"when she and mina walked by me at the corridor they were whispering and giggling like little lambs. probably laughing at that letter though." pouted.
"you're being paranoid, they're always like that."
"they're up to something..." bakugo murmured.
whilst the two struggled to put up with the 'plan cupid', the other two were constructing the 'plan pretty boy's handwriting'.
"as i was saying, a pencil has six inches approximately, we're looking for a hand as big at least. if we measure our hands we can compare with theirs without them noticing." stated grabbing a pen off her case.
"you're truly a genius. i refuse to accept you failed strategic test last week." mina complimented.
"i was in a really bad mood that day... anyway!" justified while traced her own hand in a empty page of mina's notebook. "fifteen centimeters. do yours and we're good to go!" demanded agitated.
when looking for friends of theirs, the girls pretended to just have a walk around the school.
"what if it was a girl?" mina asked suddenly.
"i doubt. how many girls with large hands do we know?" claimed.
"mmm... asui-san?"
"you've got to be kidding...!" pulled her phone and dialed quickly a number. "hey!" you smiled. "no, nothing really urgent, i just wanted to ask... are you perhaps in love with me?" questioned without any filter.
"girl you gone mad?" mina whispered holding back a laughter.
"uh, ok. anyways, thank you. we talk later, kisses!" you hung up. "see? that's not her."
"woah you're so straightforward! it scares me sometimes..."
the boys exited the restroom still discussing, but when the blondie heard a certain voice he stepped back. pulled eijiro's tie to hide behind a pillar with him. "shut it!" mouthed.
"i just wanted to ask... are you perhaps in love with me?"
"uh, ok."
his face started to burn as he became more anxious. could only hear a few words, enough to bring the boy into complete state of panic.
after the girls left he released his breath.
"stop overthinking! she just received a love letter, of course she's curious!" kirishima said.
"i didn't say anything, shitty-hair!"
"your face shows!" sighed. "seriously, how can she be so oblivious? just look at you! you're terrible at hiding."
"i- i... she doesn't even talk to me that often..." katsuki pitied.
"bro, you're not the friendliest around here. but she doesn't seem to be afraid of you." kiri pondered. "have you ever tried to smile?"
he looked at the red spiked guy and opened a shy smile.
"a bit more."
every time bakugo tried to put on smiling face it looked creepy. "be more genuine." said eijiro.
trying his best, but even with so much effort... his buddy analyzed. "ok. it looks absolutely terrifying."
"shit."
#mha fanfiction#mha bakugou#mha fluff#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugo x reader#self insert#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakugou x you#bakugou fluff#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x y/n
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Diabolik lovers headcanons pt. 3 (even more stuff)
Hi, it's been a while, no? Even though I feel a bit like I'm screaming into an empty void, I do enjoy writing my thoughts down.
The Diabolik Lovers fandom gets smaller and smaller and since just a few blogs are active, I wanted to post more! I know that without Rejet producing more content (that is canon and not "just" new merchlines, even though I deeply love the art), the dl fandom is bound to shrink. But: now, there are a lot of very respectful blogs, which I do enjoy! The toxicity just shrinks a lot on smaller fandoms. And I really love that no slander of Yui is happening!
Now, lets get into the headcanons after my short ramble.
I won't write anything nsfw this time, just a quick psa.
⚠ I'll try to mark anything that could be triggering with this: ❗trigger warning ❗
⚠This post will briefly discuss topics like: parental trauma and childhood trauma.⚠
The topics in this post will be mostly happy or cute (?), asks are always appreciated!
As always, I'll try to be at least a bit true to canon. But... Well.
this time I did not just ramble about Kanato, I think I talked about Laito quite a bit though...
Headcanons under the cut ⬇
First of all: Shu.
Genuinely loves dogs (remember the scene with Yuma? The little puppy? Yes.)
All fluffy dogs are loved, just as all other dogs.
Loveslovesloves Golden retrievers and sheperd dogs. Likes big dogs a bit more than small dogs, more to hug.
Deeply hates toads. Not frogs, toads. He thinks they're quite ugly and hates how big they can get
Shu is Not dumb but being a little fuck by not-obeying-karlheinz's-orders-like-being-good-in-school
Has only socks with terrible obnoxious patterns, like the weirdest psychedelic shit? I'm talking about rainbow colored mushrooms on sunyellow backdrop and comical faces. (Ngl, it's a vibe)
Huuuuge crush on Yuma. He likes his long hair and the fact that Yuma doesn't try to lie to him. Shu likes honest people and Yuma with his blunt approach is amazing for him. Also, he is convinced that Yuma is very simple to understand, nit at all complicated like some other people.
Next in Line is Reiji! What a surprise.
Has a huge collection of Hand cream and lotion. He has those long, slim fingers and his nails are manicured so impeccable that they don't even look real anymore.
Wears only black socks. Its a hassle to sort them since some of them have different lengths or fabrics
Has pet rats. Definitely pet rats.
They're cute and all but he's named ever single one outrageous names like Berthold and Brunhilde, the typical old german names you'd read in very old books.
Reiji Is able to speak not only german, japanese and the demon language but can also speak latin (even though shu is on a much higher level), a bit of French and russian.
Would be the type to do things simply out of sprite. Shu once mentioned not liking blue curtains and now all curtains are blue.
Has an academic rivalry with Ruki. All the other students (including Ruki) think they're flirting, only Reiji is oblivious.
Next: our boy Ayato!
Hates bees with a passion.
Kanato once "gifted" him a box of bees out of spite (the little shit put the whole bee hive in that box), ever since then Ayato runs as soon as humming from a bee can be heard in a ten mile ratio. (Being outside is very exhausting for everyone, himself included)
Very much enjoys shows like Brigderton and say yes to the dress. Loves the drama and the intrigue.
Ayato actually? Doesn't hate his brothers??? He likes to bicker with them, especially his other triplets, but genuinely cares about them. He's just a bit too emotionally stunted on that front (thank you cordelia).
Likes not only takoyaki but also any type of japanese festival food. I'm talking about mochi, dango and tayaki, etc.
the type to have lactose intolerance and ignore it completely to seem "cool"
went on an ice cream date with Yui once and spent the entire night in the bathroom because he was too proud to say no
Actually wears makeup? I'm not talking about full-on glam but a bit concealer and eyeliner. Ayato has red mascara and omfg he looks so good with it???
Laito and he enjoy playing those multiplayer games for nintendo
He has an entire village on animal crossing that is managed by him and Laito together
Next in line: Kanato!
I have made quite long posts about him in the past so I wont elaborate on some things that I already wrote down.
Very skilled at makeup. Like top-level skill. Wears eyeliner, liptint or gloss and glitter under and on his eyes. Light blush is a must-have!
Can crochet and knit but is often too impatient to make bigger projects
Will hyperfocus on things like historical fashion and garments for weeks at a time.
Once was so focused on the black plague that he didn't drink blood for like five weeks and passed out until he was fed some blood
Gremlin.
Has a friendship with Yuma? They plant plants together and since Kanato (canonically) likes apples, Yuma will bring him some after plucking.
Kanato enjoys tea time with Reiji
Kanato also likes to gossip with Laito. Or more like: Laito gossips and Kanato sits next to him and munches on some sweets.
Huge crush on Azusa. (I went into more detail on that in earlier posts but I'll answer any questions on that matter! Feel free to send me asks or prompts!)
He and Ayato have both the same interest for old fairy tales and will read them together on those nights were everything just comes up again
❗Laito will comfort him when Kanato has nightmares and Kanato will be there for Laito, since they went through a bit if the same things even though Laito's was much more intense
Cuddle time with Shu
Quiet time with Subaru
Now Laito!
Can speak a fuckton of languages.
I don't care if its canon but Laito is like B2 Level of French. Is able to discuss theological matters is perfect french.
Can also speak italian like all the triplets but he's also able to speak a bit german, polish and romanian
Friends with Kou! ❗They're really good ffriends and can understand what the other went though. Laito stays often over night at Kou's and they spend the night watching funny movies (Deadpool is Laitos current favourite)
Laito enjoys comics. He likes Marvel and DC a lot!
We know that Laito likes crossword puzzles but like. He's so good at them it's almost frightening. Is able to not only do japanese ones but also french.
So intelligent???
Not only booksmart but also "people smart". He notices the smallest things on people around him, constantly analizes everyone. Knows a lot about medicine and psychology.
Loves learning new things.
Has immense knowledge about the universe, is able to name every single star sign on the sky.
in the games we often see Laito wear casual clothing. My headcanon is that he likes the sort of style skaters usually wear.
Really likes cargo pants since everything fits in all of the pockets
Wears oversized hoodies and shirts
Has those two piercings on his left earlobe but also has a lip piercing on the right lower lip and a septum that he got when he was bored
As soon as he's alone, he let's the perverted fassade fall down. He doesn't smile a lot actually, more along the lines of a serious face most of the time.
It took a bit for him to be able to drop that fake face of his in front of Kou and his other triplets but after some time he got used to not fake being friendly and perverted.
Dropped the infamous "bitch-chan" after some time, now uses Yui's actual name. The -chan stayed though.
Last but not least: Subaru!
has very soft plushies in his coffin
Loves those tiny fluffy bunnies. Lionheads especially!
Very gentle with animals.
Animals love him (#disneyprincesssubaru)
once tried to color his hair, it went horrible and his hair was a patchy muddy color for eight weeks
Wears eyeliner. The black, brush-tip ones
Long eyelashes. They genuinely look fake.
So pretty
Is naturally more fair and frail-looking than some other vampires so he tries to roughen himself up
❗Bruises his knuckles and bites his lips to look more dangerous. Even though the scowl he usually wears is more than enough to ward off anyone who wants to pick a fight...
Also friends with Kou (Kou really collects Sakamakis like pokemons)
Wears black nail polish but it chips off pretty fast due to the gardening Subaru does
Bonding time with Kanato is applying nail polish together
Enjoys playing pool and darts with Shu when his older brother has enough motivation
Knows he is fucked up from all the stuff with his mother and wouldn't be opposed to therapy (at least after some sweet talk from Yui... And a whole lot of promises for new seeds for his garden and a new set of black clothes)
Has a motor bike and it's his entire pride
Polishes it every week and has a lot of clothes for biking
Takes trips to somewhere when he's bored and/or annoyed by his other brothers
does not realize that Kou flirts with him every time they do something together (obliviousness lies in the family)
So! That's it? I guess? Sometime in the future I'll write about the Mukamis too, I promise!
If there's anything you'd like me to write about, just send me an ask.
And to whoever reads this: I appreciate the time you took to read my post and I hope you have an amazing day/night !
you are truly appreciated!
#dl#diabolik lovers#kanato#lgbtq#sakamaki#diahell#shu sakamaki#diaboys#subaru sakamaki#yui komori#diabolik lovers fandom#reiji sakamaki#laito sakamaki#dialovers laito#diabolik lovers laito#ayato sakamaki#diabolik lovers ayato#kanato sakamki#headcanons#headcanon#diabolic lovers#yuma mukami#kou mukami#I'm so happy that you're reading that#asks are always appreciated#i appreciate you#hope you enjoy#What my brain has some up with
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So yesterday I said it's not the principle of the thing that matters but how much privilege you have to balance it that does and had everyone and their mom needing me to learn feminism and equality 101, as expected. Understandable. I understand not knowing better because you haven't learned better and that is exactly why I'm here. To teach you better.
Let's start with the lie that's egalitarianism and equality. What we call the American mindset. Everyone is equal and has an opinion and should be able to do whatever they want mentality. Reason you have little boys and girls that have never walked a fashion show or even at the very least being invited to one making videos comment on couture shows and how ugly and impractical it is. Why you have little college girls and boys running every word they know past things that they have never even had access to. The I have a right to opinion and I will give it. That mindset, we call it the American mindset because it's mostly where you'd see it. See that mindset? If you want to level up, forget it. You do not have a right to your opinion the right is given to you. You do not have the right to wear what you want that right is earned. You do not have the right to go to that party even if you were invited you earn the right to be there. You don't have a seat in every table you want , it's given to you.
It's girls out there getting in trouble over this mentality. I told y'all once a story (probably deleted it haha) of how in high school the rich kids threw a party and invited the poorer kids around town just to do drugs together and 🍇 grape the girls and only the poor girls were graped 🍇 and never got justice because what judge is convicting the Prime Minister's son? And only the poor boys went to jail and took a fall for the drugs?? Whyyyy??? Because they thought people are equal and so they, middle class working in the gas station for pocket money, should just easily be invited to an elite party. No I didn't go. Why? Because the deal was too good. Why would the rich kids that barely talk to me in school suddenly want me to party with them? This isn't a table that I've earned a seat in so why would I go sit in it?? Doing crimes under peer pressure with people that have a team of lawyers is something people with that dumb everyone is equal mindset shit does. If I told those kids not to go they'd think I'm gatekeeping my useless academically dumb rich friends,no. I had a girl ask me why I'm looking down on her because I told her it makes no sense for boys with a bunch of Aston Martins and Bentleys and access to world class professional escorts and dating the children of presidents to date them . I had a girl tell me I'm not a girls girl and an anti feminist because I told her that boy is dating her for the giggles and will show her a hell she has never seen before and get away with it. Do I not think she's worth it? Lovable? People are equal!!! But they're not are they?? Boys like that don't date little girls from public school do they?? And no buying you Versace isn't special that's his pocket change. And every single Chanel bag you get you will pay for ,dearly. But people are equal mentality girlie probably needs a lifetime of therapy, for everyone's mental health and sanity just in case you slip into the misandry dark hole I won't say what happened. There were videos it's all I'll say. Of Dubai camel type stuff. If you get it you get it. If you don't may our good Lord protect your innocence for as long as He can. The world is a dark place in general but 50× darker for women, 1000× darker for women that don't fit the standards and 1000000× darker for broke girls and then there's women of✨ color ✨.
There's a social hierarchy. Know your place in it, act like it and level up in the background.
Different people have different rules. Just because Bella Hadid can wear weird looking outfits doesn't mean you can??? Are you Bella Hadid?? First rise to Bella Hadid status then you can have Bella Hadid privileges. Society rules are not the same for everyone. Do you think anyone cares what Bill Gates daughter is wearing to the office?? Do you think that applies to you?? I almost had my Captainship almost taken from me in high school because I wore a bracelet and that wasn't appropriate while my classmates ran around with chanel pins and pearl necklaces and hairpins with bows and glitter. Why? Is my dad's name on a building?? Did my dad donate millions to the school? Am I the next CEO of a multimillion dollar enterprise?? Then why would I have the same privileges?? The rules say no accessories so no accessories. Little white girls wear 15979 kgs of make up with tattoos and piercings nd drive everywhere but if I had one, one nose ring I'll get pulled over in traffic and possibly have my visa revoked. I wore red lipstick once and my boss said I'm looking at them aggressively. This one time I let my natural hair down during church and someone's grandma in pearls just diDnT KnoW wHat WaS OfF aBouT mE tHaT dAy but anyway she loved me so much so she'd send me to her hairstylist for free because she cares about me :))) while her grandkid had braids with a purple streak 👍.Different rules for different people. Yesterday I said I have to compensate for my lack of privileges and someones very well meaning daughter with what has to be a clean heart wrote me an essay on how I don't have to change myself to fit in. Oh darling. My sweet sweet thing .
Its little girls out dressing the host in a party that was thrown for the host to show off because tHeY dOnT hAvE tO dReSs dOwN tO aCcOmodAte OtHeRs and making an enemy and never getting invited again out here. It's girls that argue with their bosses on something as stupid as social politics that will never be promoted ever and have their work picked apart like a terrorism investigation while their bubblehead yes girl counterparts are promoted left right center. It's girls arguing with their mothers knowing full well they're dependent on them because It wAs ThEiR cHoiCe TO haVe Me BLA BLA BLA bs. It's girls out there having a full on feminist debate with the pedo misogynistic CEO in the event that was created to appease said CEO like is he a feminist now?? Did you change his mind?? Is he a better man or did you just burn your network with every single person in that room? If you don't have the privilege to do it don't. Rights are backed by privileges.
Once upon a time in a far far away land I told a tumblrina she wasn't pretty enough to have the boundaries she wanted to have and that having boundaries is a privilege and she should first level up her looks then she can have that boundary and woke up to a 5996909800 word essay on how I'm an anti feminist and judgy and whatever else. Sighs .ladies won't you ever learn. Yes even boundaries require a certain privilege.
When I say it's an American mindset and my US girls feel attacked I get it because thats exactly what I'm doing, attacking you. If I tell African and Asian girls they need to appease their toxic moms they don't argue because we know. If mom says that dress makes you look like a slut I don't say mom omg that's not very girls girl of you you're being toxic I take it off and say you think so? There was something about it I didn't like haha and wear something she approves of. Why because she holds the power. As long as I live in her house I have to submit to her. It's just a dress. We placate and validate our moms and dads and elders knowing theyre toxic af simply because we know we won't win. They won't suddenly realize they were wrong they will just make our lives harder and we can't fight back we just talk crap about them in school and laugh and when we leave for uni wear whatever. Because if we fight back they'll never let us go for uni away from home and we depend on them for survival. We understand ✨ hierarchy ✨. It's Megan Markle and her American Mindset of I have rights I have opinions I should be treated well thinking she can challenge an institution that has been in power for centuries and has made a country as geographically small and pitiful as Britan a world power over larger ones, and for centuries. Princess Katherine was being torn apart by tabloids for a decade plus and held it together and is now set to be the next queen of England with her daughter being the richest kid alive. Lady Emma McQinston, a Nigerian among the British upper class- I won't even bother telling you how those ones get treated - held it for her whole life and is now the first dark skinned black African Baroness (is it baroness?? Not sure). Megan and her American values folded in what, months?? Did they tear her apart as viciously as they did Kate?? Nope. Fumbled that bag because she couldn't understand privilege, hierarchy and power.
Don't be a Megan. Don't. Get with the program. To get the power, you must first understand the power.
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I have a question I just thought of. I remember reading that the potato is something that you can discuss at length. I'm curious about the Irish potato famine (as it's called by many people) of 1845 - 52. The potato blight killed a whole load of potatoes, and blight warnings are still a thing today. But... honestly, why? Was just one variety of potato grown? If not, wouldn't different varieties have resisted? The only thing I'm even remotely familiar with is Panama Disease, which is killing off Cavendish bananas because they're all genetically identical - was that the case for the potatoes being grown at the time?
Oh boy. Okay, this is a huge complicated topic and I can only do the Cliff Notes version and even that is absurdly long, but here we go.
The cause of the Irish Potato Famine were, in order:
A) the British
B) the British but moreso
C) still the British but also capitalism
and
D) monoculture
I am not nearly so equipped to talk about A-C as many, many other people, so let’s talk about D.
Now, the humble potato is frankly one of the most glorious products of agricultural science ever created, for which we must thank the indigenous people of Peru, who produced some goddamn geniuses at potato breeding (and also figured out how to freeze-dry potatoes centuries before Idahoan.) The Incas had literally thousands of potato varieties, every size, shape, color, growing condition, right down to sacred potatoes only for consumption by the royal family. They did seriously epic shit with a weird little tuber, a feat perhaps only surpassed by the geniuses who made corn out of teosinte.
Quite a long time later—by which I mean about ten thousand years after the potato was domesticated—the Irish were growing a potato variety called the Lumper. It was a big, coarse, ugly-ass potato which apparently didn’t even taste that great. Irish farmers had other potatoes that they liked a lot better! But the Lumper had three things going for it—it gave huge yields, tolerated nutrient-poor soil, and it didn’t mind wet feet.
(Wet feet is the gardening term for plants with their roots in waterlogged soil. Most potatoes do not actually like wet feet and will rot. But the Lumper was fine with it, which meant that basically you could grow the things in poor soggy soil, which large swaths of Ireland had in generous supply.)
Because of a whole lot of really abusive shit by various landowners, a lot of Irish people ended up dependent on the Lumper for their diet, and I mean dependent. You can live for a really long time on cow’s milk and potatoes if you have to, and a potato that would produce massive yields in crappy wet soil was a godsend. So you had vast areas that were planted with just the Lumper. (There are some reports that other, better-tasting potato varieties were grown for the landlords, but while the workers dug them, they were not allowed to eat them. I can’t speak to the truth of this or not, but it’s definitely worth looking up a full history of the socioeconomics of the famine, if you ever happen to be feeling too good about the world and want to be crushed.)
Unfortunately, the Lumper has one other significant trait—it is extremely vulnerable to potato blight, a disease caused by Phytophtora infestans, which is a weird little thing called an oomycete. It’s more like a fungus than it is anything else, but it’s actually in a separate kingdom called Chromista. (Currently, anyway. Taxonomy is where idealistic young scientists go to become old before their time.) Nevertheless, for our purposes, let’s just call it a fungus. (Also, Chromista is a great name for an alicorn in My Little Pony.)
P. infestans loooooves members of the Solanum clan, which include tomatoes and potatoes. This love is not returned. In a tomato, it’s usually called late blight, in a potato, it’s potato blight, no matter what you call it, it’s bad news. It likes damp, cool conditions, and of course Ireland is basically one big damp cool condition, so once the blight got established, it was in heaven.
Blight on a potato takes about five days from start to finish. This sucker is FAST. One day there’s a blotch on a leaf, next day there’s some whitish stuff under a leaf, then the tubers are suddenly turning black and mushy and stink to high heaven. You may even think you got a good tuber and put it in storage and then you open the door to the root cellar and the whole bin has rotted practically overnight.
The spores can spread by wind, and once it landed on a potato plant, all it needed was like two days above fifty degrees with high humidity, and it was off and running. And it gets in the soil. But worst of all, it lives in the tubers themselves.
Potato cultivars, for those who don’t know, are almost always a clone of the parent. All Yukon Golds are basically the same Yukon Gold. You pop a tuber off a plant, you pop it in the ground, it grows another plant just like the first one, asexual reproduction at its finest.*
Now, potatoes can and do set seed, but there’s some variation even in a seed with two parents of the same variety. Two Yukon Golds might give you Yukon Goldish. Mix up multiple varieties and you don’t always know what you’re gonna get.** (I have grown potatoes from mixed seed and thus made my own cultivars, it’s fun, but the results are wildly variable. Some don’t set tubers at all, some contain high levels of solanine.***)
If you want specific, uniform varieties that all perform the same way, you probably use the tubers. More importantly, tubers start growing right away once you wake them up, whereas potato seedlings can be finicky and often won’t do anything impressive the first year.
To make matters more confusing, the little tuber clones are referred to as seed potatoes.
Anyway, back to the blight. Everybody was growing from little tuber clones, which could be infected with the blight. This means that if your seed potatoes are infected with blight, even if they look fine, if you plant them, your whole crop is infected. The minute you get a cool wet day, the oomcyte wakes up and goes to town. And if you leave an infected potato in the ground, it infects everybody else—and if you’ve ever dug potatoes, you know that you always, always miss one.
Well. The blight came, it hit the Lumper, and it spread like wildfire. The Lumper grew in the wet conditions the blight loved, and was also really susceptible to it, so it was a match made in hell. There were potato varieties even then that were more resistant to the blight, but they were tiny islands and a sea of blight was washing over them daily, so they eventually succumbed. Even if you planted a different potato, if it was in soil that had previously held the Lumper, it was likely doomed.
This is the problem with monocultures. You plant all one variety and it’s susceptible to some particular bug, when that bug hits, you have no fall back position. And potatoes, being more or less clones, are even more vulnerable than most seed-grown crops, and this bug is particularly nasty and the spring of ‘45 was exactly the right weather and the British government was being particularly evil and ultimately a million people starved to death because of a perfect storm.
The Lumper still exists. Somebody turned up some heirloom seeds back in 2008 and grew them out, and what they got is probably pretty close to the original. Being seed grown, it doesn’t carry the blight. It’s an ugly, watery, kinda waxy potato that even its champions think tastes sorta okay, I guess. Cultivariable, one of the few sources I can find, says that in addition to not being resistant to blight, it’s not resistant to anything else either, and there’s not much point in trying to grow it unless you have long dry summers and no local blight.
And that is the saga of the Lumper, the blight, and why I personally always plant at least four varieties of potato.
* There’s some subtleties here, but for layman’s purposes, we’ll go with this.
** It’s actually way complicated, but this is already hella long.
*** Same stuff that makes green potatoes toxic. Super bitter, so you know right away it’s inedible and spit it out. We still refer to taste-tasting the new crop from seed as “the Potato Suicide Pact” but it’s not actually dangerous.
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Dear lord the shit i see...
I love Quasimodo, i do, but dear lord i'm so tired Erik antis use him as the "see? this is what a healthy unproblematic deformed man should act!" when they go on their rants about people "shouldn't like Erik" and blah blah blah the same shit we always heard
because
The Disney versions of these stories sugar-coat A LOT of the bleakness of the source material. Book Quasimodo is just as lustful and posessive of Esmeralda as Erik is. In the original Beauty and the Beast, Beauty is sold to the Beast without her own input. If Disney made their own Phantom, you'd also get a squeaky clean Erik. i don't see why smart-ass fans like to put up two children's films against a piece of gothic literature that wasn't dumbed down for kids., aside from liking to feel "smart".
a lot of the rants reek of white feminism and ableism in my experience ( the "women don't owe men to be with them..." i could agree with that and also call out a company like disney, which pumps out romance films every five seconds, to have the ONE film with the one deformed / disabled character be the one to be rejected...notice the whitebread princes all end up in romances, mmm. (and again, shaming female shippers who like these characters...because that isn't sexist or patronizing at all)
"Erik and Quasimodo and all these are all straight white men! it's gross these movies want us to feel sympathy for straight white men!" - Yeah, and they're disabled, and that fucks you up, and its also a form you get othered. (besides don't make this a identity thing, it comes off as really tone-deaf : nobody is gay in these stories, in Phantom only one character is a person of color, and in the original Hunchback the prominent brown character is a harmful stereotype). if yo're so mad at straight white men getting sympathy, why don't you go bark at the boys or marvel or shit like that?
I dunno, fam, it's boring. mediocre white handsome man does nothing "OMG A HERO! WOULD MARRY!" vs grey ugly disabled does something "OMG MONSTER! HE SHOULD DIE! WOMEN WHO LIKE HIM ARE MENTALLY DAMAGED!"
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