#ughhhh itd be the worsttttt but so deliciously dramatic

[weebsinstash]

I talk about two different fandoms in this kinda long post but, you know, we've been talking about a lot of the more negative, angst heavy ideas that usually revolves around being burned or betrayed and them having to grovel for your forgiveness, the special catharsis only those stories can bring, but I've been having a lot of ideas on... what if Reader straight up vanishes/leaves their yandere group because they feel like a fucking loser

Like, we keep talking about Spiderverse for example. There's a scene in My Adventures With Superman where Lois Lane finds out there's a multiverse society of other Lois Lanes and she's going through a computer and finding out that, by comparison, she's actually kind of a "failure". She's seeing records of versions of her that were Nobel Prize winners at 19, extremely accomplished, hell it's just meant as a fun reference but one version of her is even a Keyblade Wielder

Imagine being you in the Spiderverse and slowly over time you just start feeling. Bad. All of these other Peter Parkers and their variants are usually so talented, inventors, engineers, technicians. You can't gracefully somersault and perform intricate acrobatics like Gwen Stacey, you can't invent your own tech, you're not some super genius, you're just. A normal person. I can only imagine the absolute fucking punch in the gut of being in the Spider Society for an extended period of time and, feeling like you fit in just a little bit, you fit in here more than your home dimension, you even have nice conversations with Miguel from time to time (which are more significant to him than you know), and suddenly, more Yous start getting scouted, Yous with their customized costumes that are so flattering and chich and mech suits and degrees and accolades and partners and children. You're just in the lunch room one day feeling depressed and they all swarm you trying to eat with you and be friendly, "so what are YOUR studies in? I'm a molecular physicist!" "I served in the army as a lieutenant before I was bit!" "I'm a gold medal Olympic gymnast! What sports do you have medals in?"

And you just. Blink at them, feeling tears well up in your eyes. "I'm just a normal person." before leaving your tray and your food you've already paid for behind so you can run off to cry. Later on you see a bunch of Yous gathered around giggling and you can pick up what they're saying with your super senses and they're all standing around talking about what a fucking loser you are. "They don't even have a degree OR a date!!" just standing around fucking LAUGHING at you

You realize you're no longer needed in the Spider Society, that you're literally just a warm body, there's nothing unique or special or needed about you, you're literally just another body who can be swapped out with hundreds of others whenever needed, like, like a glorified retail employee. You wind up going to Miguel's office when it's empty and leaving your bracelet on a counter without a note or anything before warping home without any intention of, not only coming back, but ever being a Spider ever again (but uh little do you know he IMMEDIATELY notices when you go missing. You're here assuming you're so unnoticeable and unremarkable and the man flips his shit the second he finds out you just QUIT QUIT, he literally won't accept, he'll kept visiting your universe until you accept your watch back even if it means he has to force it back onto your arm and lock it in place. Don't you EVER try to go where he can't follow you or see you 🥺)

And then an idea for Batman because he's the other one we've been talking about off and on. I've been kinda writing blurbs for an idea where Reader is a small time Gotham hero who Batman runs into a few times, maybe starts considering you as Justice League material, and he eventually sees you're, completely alone and really going through some stuff and, after you get injured saving him and are left without a place to live, he lets you stay at the manor to heal up and you slowly start bonding with every member of the Batfam. Damian who is relatively new to the family is still being really outward and hostile and nasty and Bruce is starting to consider military school until he sees you two cuddling on the couch watching the news while the boy calls you big sister/brother/etc and later on the youth actually apologizes and, magically starts explaining his feelings (because you and him have had several heart-to-hearts where you've told him he needs to communicate better and how). Dick sees you bonding with Damian and starts spending time with you as the boy's favorite brother, starting to get attached to you as well, offering to teach you gymnastics. I can just see him taking you and Jason on a really fun parkouring run through the property or the city all costumed up, just to have fun and watch you smile. You open up to Jason about your childhood and the things that made you want to be a hero and he feels kinship with the anger in your heart, the urge to punish those who commit these atrocities, maybe do something even worse to them in return.

You're seemingly integrating into the Batfam EXCELLENTLY but, your demeanor slowly changes. You start seeming uncomfortable. You start mentioning how you feel like you've overstayed your welcome and start bringing up how, you've had enough time mentally and physically recovering, you need to get a job again and move out. Complete silence at the weekly family dinner as someone asks you how your day is and you reply you had a really good job interview that you hope to hear back from soon (you wont, not anymore). You're gradually getting worse, more antisocial, not wanting to join them for events or outings, not even spending time in the same room with everyone, holing yourself up in the room that was given to you. The Batfamily starts worrying and talking amongst themselves, conducting their own research and surveillance to try and figure out your mental state, but you don't want to talk. It's like you don't trust them with your feelings.

One night someone goes to fetch you for something and no one can find you: you left the manor without anyone seeing you and didn't leave any sort of note to let them know where you're going, and even left your cellphone behind, maybe suspicious that they could use it to track you. After a couple hours of frantic scouring the city, Bruce finds you smoking a cigarette, standing out in a park, just trying to get some fresh air, some space, some privacy, acting completely nonchalant and even annoyed by the man's concern as he tries to ask you what's wrong, and you're extremely reluctant to tell him, the man basically badgering you and wearing you down until you answer in the hope he leaves you alone

"Your entire fucking family makes me want to ACTUALLY KILL MYSELF, ok?! I'm not some, genius savant who knows acrobatics and dozens of martial arts! I'm not a gifted programmer! I'm not good at solving puzzles and riddles! I've never read Dickens or Kant, I can't just quote off all these famous references, I'm not some well-read computer with an eidetic memory who hears something once and basically remembers it forever! I can't rattle off the uses for polyurethane foam and the chemical compositions of the gas in your Bat grenades! I can't even pick up a new skill or new hobby or game without YOUR TEN YEAR OLD literally INSTANTLY being better at it than I am! I'm NORMAL! I'm not like you! I'm not like any of you! I'm a LOSER! So, so, I'm starting a new job on Monday and I'm going to start saving money to move out, ok? It's been MONTHS, I want OUT"

And because Gotham weather is notoriously awful it starts suddenly pouring down so now you're upset and sobbing AND wet as Bruce manages to usher you into the Batmobile, kicking on the heat as you're shivering like a soaked stray cat, and he doesn't say much outwardly to you, mostly seeming to just lend an ear before immediately taking you back home, but in his mind it's like "so what you're saying is... you need us now more than ever. You've been extremely depressed and hiding suicidal thoughts and feel alone without any proper purpose in life. I can work with that" and now they're up your ass now more than ever and, I'm growing steadily attached to the idea of a Bruce who actually MAKES you be not just a member of the Batfamily, but a crime fighter to help give you purpose and discipline, so. My man hears you essentially say "I'm jealous I'm not as talented as you or your family and I feel like a loser because I can't do cool things too so I want to leave and never see any of you again. I'm not even good enough to do hero stuff so I'll just go back to being a normal person :(" and he deadass replies "bet, here's your own hypercustomized Bat-themed costume that i already made for you, your training starts tomorrow 7am sharp"