#ughhh this is so faggy i love this so much

[fagthroughtime]

Is this the song of the summer?

Guys I'm screaming its been up there for less than 24 hours

Its gaining like 500 streams every time I check. This might actually chart in Australia at this rate 💀

Any profits are gonna go to an LGBT charity because the last thing the gay world needs more of rn is capitalism.

Link if you wanna help spotify it to the stars.

[veryaren]

UGHHH not to be a fag but I'm rereading one of my favorite books and. This line is so luchinini to me I know that this is so majorly faggy and loserly and poovepilled but HEAR ME OUT.

(Incoming luchinini rant ? -majority just luchino interp and analysis really but it can be inferred I am talking about luchinini-that gets progressively more off track)

(benjamin alire saenz.... the feelings you evoke)

to me. Luchino is anything but a normal lover. he loves in a very weird way. He is definitely in NO WAY a parallel to the main character of this novel but I do love the way this sentence is phrased. It is so raw and REAL I love it. I think luchino often makes odd statements.

example a.

(very disconcerting thanks)

example b

(when prompted to talk about his knowledge of berries for the fall???he's so strange.)

hes weird. And a D1 yapper very clearly. So it would not surprise me for him to have somewhat morbid thoughts and perspectives on love as well. he often makes comparisons or mental parallels with his knowledge of certain things etc etc. so I think his feelings toward love would be no different. by nature he is morbid and curious.

gahhh. THIS IS SO GAY but I'm having. VISIONS. his weirdness is probably worse when he's in love. not in the "em.. Heh!!! Oops!!! That was so embarrassing, sorry, ah!!!" Kind of way but in the "on late nights I will stare at you and observe you as you sleep and breathe and stir." kind of weird. And he doesn't even realize that it's just a little creepy. nor does he ever really Mena them in a sensual way I dont think. (goonchino interps scare me iykwim. like sometimes they just write him weird. TOO freaky.)

something something "I wonder what it might be like, to see you in the mundane of your day. where your idle mind goes, what you're conjuring in that head of yours when you've nothing but yourself."

I have. Sort of mentioned this before but I do think that sometimes these kind of thoughts just slio through too. And, again, when they do he CANNOT tell why it would be unsettling. IN FACT I THINK HE FINDS A BEAUTY IN IT. He does not have the clearest grasp on certain factors of societal norms but that is ok.

he clearly loves to talk. but never finds the right place to properly insert himself. once he is comfortable though with someone (cough Antonio...but again this is still more luchino centered than luchinini I am very much holding back) I think it would probably be habitual, to just say what is on his mind. something similar to the aformentioned novel quote. my brain is running low on words so feel free to imagine examples.

"beautiful, even in your unrest. it's wonderful to think, how you might gnash your teeth in frustration at a chord just an octave too low. How the tips of your fingers might grow pink in the way that they do when you grip your bow just that bit too roughly." Such and such (luchinini sneak)

ANYWAY. I need to sleep soon. but that's really all. quick tie back to luchinini premanor au because I am sick and twisted (read: faggot) but there is also something selfish about the way luchino lovesb(in the way I write him to clarify) . never intentionally of course, it's mostly due to his lack of etiquette in social scenes. but he shows antonio a love unlike any of his past.

it's alive. involved. difficult and strange but it grows him. antonio starts to love himself the way that luchino loves him, to live life in a way that makes him whole. The kind that makes him want to be worthy of that kind love.

and then, luchino leaves. and I don't think this is something he would regret. because he thinks it is the best option. it's visible in his own words (see luchino lore wiki. too lazy to site exact stuff maybe later) that he does not regret leaving, the farther away he is from anyone, the better. I dont think this factor is any different in premanor au. while yes it would hurt, and he knows it would hurt antonio, it is just what he needs to do. scientific brain seperating you from your beautiful t4t relationship with your hot Italian husband

Ill draw this later trust