#ugh. fuck that just make the weather less terrible

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[dancinggrimm]

I fucking love walking! I live in the middle of a city that's famous for bad drivers and weird Escher-like road systems, plus the buses always smell terrible. So if I can reasonably walk to my destination, that's where I go. Plus I have intermittent problems with my thigh muscles and when it's bad this is the best thing for it.

But yeah, it is sometimes boring and inconventient, SO:

Get yourself a pair of actual walking shoes/boots. They don't have to be fancy, but they generally will be very robust, waterproof, and comfy for long distances (though they might not feel as comfy as other shoes when you first put them on, they are supposed to be a bit scaffoldy). Not only do you now have the ideal shoes to walk in, you don't have to put any thought into what you will wear on your feet. You can put mentally earmark other clothes as you discover that they suit walking, so less thought goes into it over time. I always find that as long as my feet a comfy, everything else falls into place.

Like the great Billy Connelly said, "There is no such thing as bad weather, only the wrong clothes". Light rain or frost or a stiff breeze is easy to dress comfortably for, and you can pop on a hat or sunscreen. If the weather is so bad you don't have sufficuent clothes for it, fuck it, stay indoors. You can walk another day. I wouldn't wish a long walk in damp jeans on anybody, bastard rain, ugh. You'll get more used to dressing for or dealing with the weather the more you do it.

Play neighbourhood bingo - make a list, physical or mental, of things that you might see as you go. Types of wildlife or plants, models of car, things that are certain colours, people doing certain things, tick them off and count up how many you spot. This is also a nice mindfulness exercise. I once counted 47 yellow things on my way to work. Fucking delightful.

Make up stories about things you see. This is like the opposite of that mind palace thing you are supposed to do to help you memorise things. Start your little tale, and add anything interesting you see into it. Story starts to lag? Well, there's a dog over there, or some broken car glass in the gutter, and a bird that sort of sounds like a creaky door, will those work?

Have a goal for your walk. Doesn't have to be to do with fitness, or anything else. Go to the park to sit on a bench and drink your can of pop and read your book for 20 minutes. Walk to your friend's house and give their doorbell camera an extreme close up. Go to the supermarket and get a tiny treat. You aren't just walking aimlessly anymore, you're on a quest.

If you want to wear headphones, go for it. Wear one if you are wary of electric cars so you have one car-hearing ear. If you see a bird going all Celine Dion, take the earphone out and join in.

I can't help you with the horseflies, sorry bab.

Calling my neurospicy/ADHD/autistic siblings with a question:

How do you walk for fun/exercise?

Personally, I've realized that I actually hate walking? For decades I've been trying to force myself to enjoy going for a quick walk around the block because every piece of advice about physical and mental health says "just go for a walk 😊 it's fun and relaxing 😊 anyone can do it 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊"

BUT IT IS NEITHER FUN NOR RELAXING??!?

I present to you the following:

Every window you walk past has the potential for one or more sets of eyes. EYES THAT COULD BE PERCEIVING YOU.*

Hot. Cold. Rain. Wind. Allergies. Insects. INSECTS THAT FOLLOW YOU (fucking horseflies ugh)

Choices must be made. What clothes to wear? No you can't wear the shorts you're wearing because the thighs ride up. Go change. A hat?? Hats look dumb but counterpoint: sun is murdering your eyes. And shoes?!? WHICH SOCKS ARE RIGHT AND PREVENT BLISTERS BUT AREN'T TOO HOT ANSWER ME THIS

Chronic pain????????????

Okay I'm walking, I'm walking, look at the pavement, don't trip over that drainage grate, don't stumble on the loose gravel, god this is so freaking boring ah shit I rolled my ankle on the pavement did anyone see?? Why didn't I wear headphones but headphones are bad because I'm supposed to be enjoying nature™ and if I wear them I can't hear electric cars and I might get in an accident SHIT I rolled my ankle AGAIN

SO HOW DO YOU DO IT??? Are there tips and tricks? Do you just... not walk? Use a treadmill?? How do you make the treadmill not soul-suckingly boring????

(PLEASE no neurotypicals clowning on this post with any "advice" -- your statements have already been noted and accepted into the record. Autistic/ADHD rebuttals are what is being sought here thanks.)

*Do NOT give me that 'no one is looking at you' BS -- YES THEY ARE. I know this because I watch people walking by, and so does my mom and half the neighborhood.

[luminnara]

The Silent Treatment | Omega!Bakugou x Fem!reader

Request:

 CAN I PLEASE HAVE OMEGA BAKUGOU X READER PLEASE WHERE SHE MAD AT HIM AND IGNORES HIM And he has to get her attention on him his main mission so he like bother her so she doesn’t be angry at him no more

um YES YOU MAY I have a secret massive soft spot in my heart for omega bakugou lol.

My askbox is open! 

Warnings: swearing? Bakugou is a brat, uhhh needy emotions and stuff, not too angsty tho

Word count: 1,210

He deserved this. He really did. And deep down, he knew that. Even Bakugou, who acted high and mighty and angry all the time, could occasionally tell when he was being an asshole deserving of punishment. 

He didn’t like it one bit, though.

“Babe, come on,” he growled one afternoon, facing his girlfriend as she cooked dinner with her back to him. 

She didn’t answer. She didn’t even bother to look at him, and it made his blood boil. 

“Oi!” he snapped, teeth bared in a snarl. “Pay attention to me!”

His alpha continued ignoring him, humming as you stirred the food you were preparing. The scent you were giving off was calm, seemingly unperturbed, whereas Katsuki’s was growing more and more distraught. 

“Baby, please?” he whined. He actually whined. He was stooping so low as to whine and beg for your attention, and yet, you were completely unmoved. 

He tossed his hands up in defeat. If you weren’t even going to see how far he was willing to go for you, then fine. He could find other things to occupy himself with. He didn’t need you, even if you were his alpha, and his girlfriend, and the love of his life, and...ugh, whatever. 

With a huff, he stalked away, going to sulk on the couch. You noticed, of course; no matter how angry you were with Katsuki, you weren’t about to stop keeping an eye on your moody, rowdy omega. You knew he was a handful, and you were all too familiar with the way he liked to throw tantrums whenever you put him in his place. He deserved it, anyways, and he needed to learn that he couldn’t rage and yell at you without consequences. Katsuki might have been an omega, but he snapped and snarled like the toughest, meanest alphas there were, and often, he managed to make you feel like your roles were reversed. 

Dealing with Katsuki wasn’t about being firm, though. You got along with your omega because you were flexible enough to weather his stormy temper, and most of the time, you were gentle and accommodating, giving him the space to rant and roar until he tired himself out and came crawling into bed with you. Sometimes, though, even you got fed up with his nasty words, and unfortunately, this was one of those times.

You knew how much he hated receiving the silent treatment, and while normally you cared about his feelings, tonight, you didn’t. He had been outright mean when he got home from work, and honestly? You were tired of the way he thought he could boss you around. You were the alpha, you were the one who took care of him when he was in heat, you were the leader here. Katsuki needed to cool his jets, and until he apologized for being such a dick to you, you were perfectly content with ignoring him.

“For fuck’s sake,” you heard him grumbling.

 Peering over your shoulder, you saw that he had grabbed a few blankets and begun making himself a tiny nest on the couch, curling up under them. The scent he was giving off was grumpy, but there was nothing in it that rang any real alarm bells in your head. Your inner alpha wanted to comfort him, to croon and purr until he wasn’t upset anymore, but no. He could make as many little nests around the apartment as he wanted and sleep in them on his own. It was pretty cute, you had to admit, but you weren’t swayed. Not yet. He was going to have to do a lot better than just being adorable.

You ate dinner in silence, setting a plate out for him. You considered saying something, but when he fixed you with a hostile, bratty glare, you rolled your eyes. Nope. You were going to hold out for as long as necessary.

What followed was an evening of Katsuki’s whining from his couch nest, the high pitched sounds interrupted with angry growls and huffs. He called your name, he chirped, he trilled, he even tried altering his scent to make you think that he was in mortal peril...and still nothing.

He was going to completely lose his mind.

“So we’re really doing this, huh?” He hissed as you walked past him to get into bed.

When you didn’t answer, he followed at your heels, walking into your shared bedroom with his lips pulled back in a grimace. You were silent, changing out of your day clothes right in front of him without so much as a moment of hesitation.

You were absolutely killing him with this.

When he tried to sidle up to you, his hands brushing over your bare hips, you simply stepped out of his grip to grab your pajamas.

The sound he let out was absolutely pitiful.

“Y/n, come on!” He practically howled.

You pulled a shirt on, walked around him, and climbed into bed.

“This is ridiculous!” He snapped, his temper flaring.

You rolled onto your side, your back facing him.

That was the final nail in the coffin.

He whined again, climbing onto the foot of the bed. He needed attention from you, needed it the way he needed to breathe. Even though it had been less than a day, he was miserable, and the half of him that wasn’t upset by it was angry at the way he was so incredibly distraught over this.

“Please just talk to me,” he crawled over you, laying his chin on your shoulder as he stuck his face right up in yours. “Oi. You can’t keep this up forever. We both know it.”

You kept your eyes closed, determined not to cave.

He nuzzled his face in your neck, trying to get you to scent him and reassure him that you still liked him. “I already said please. What more do you want? This is bullshit.”

Your eyes snapped open and you glared at him. “I want an apology, Katsuki.”

“What?” His head shot up. “For what?”

“For all the mean shit you say to me!” You closed your eyes again, settling in against your pillows. “Until then, I’m not speaking with you.”

He stared down at you. An apology? That’s all he had to give you? He could do that. That was easy, right?

“Y/n...” he said quietly, putting his weight on you. “Alpha...I’m sorry.”

You glanced back at him. Wow. Had it actually worked?

“I’m sorry, alpha, just...please pay attention to me...” he rubbed his head over your scent glands, desperate. “I’ll...be fuckin’ nicer.”

Though he was terrible with his words, you could hear in his voice that was actually trying. It was more than you had expected from him tonight, honestly.

“Oh, Katsuki...” you sighed, turning slightly and slipping an arm around him. “What am I going to do with you?”

At the sound of your voice, his heart soared, and he clung to you. With his face stuffed into the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped around your waist, you finally gave him what he wanted, purring deep in your chest until his scent calmed down into something more like his usual smoky cinnamon.

Yes, Bakugou, was a handful...but at least he was your handful.

[fruitcoops]

okay so: coops and jily do the couple fear pong challenge (couple vs couple fear pong by cut for reference)?? pleaseee - m

Anon, you definitely read my mind with this. I’ve had this idea in the works for almost a month and I’m so glad you suggested it!! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for alcohol (beer)

“Are you ready to lose?” James asked as he set up a few lines of red Solo cups.

“Try me,” Remus shot back with a grin. Their respective partners shared an exasperated look.

“Hello, hockey fans, and welcome to Fear Pong! I’m your host, Marlene McKinnon.” Marlene set an armful of beer bottles on the ping pong table and began filling each team’s cups halfway.

“I’m Lily Potter, and this is my husband James.” Lily waved to the camera and stole one of Marlene’s bottles to take a sip. “Ugh. It’s like wheat-flavored moonshine.”

“I think she takes it as a challenge to find the worst alcohol,” Remus mused. “I’m Remus Lupin, the best winger on the Lions.”

“Shut it, Loops.”

“Bite me, Pots.”

“And I’m Sirius Black, the team captain,” Sirius said. “As you can see, this is going to get out of hand very fast.”

Marlene leaned on the table, looking between them with a grave expression. “The rules are simple. If you throw the ball and it lands in a cup, you have to do the dare on the coaster or drink the beer. The team who drinks all their cups first, loses. We’ll do the deadliest of games to decide who goes first: rock, paper, scissors. Choose your champions.”

Sirius and James moved to the front of the table. “Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”

“Shit,” Sirius muttered as James’ paper defeated his rock.

James grinned as he headed back to his place. “I can already taste victory.” Lily took careful aim, and the ball landed perfectly in the center of their cups. “That’s my wife, everybody!”

Remus rolled his eyes and picked up the coaster. “Leave five hickeys on your teammate. Your opponent chooses where. Aw, man, everyone’s going to see them at practice.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to chicken out and drink?”

His jaw ticked. “Where.”

“One on his cheek, the rest on his neck.”

Sirius leaned down with a heavy sigh and Remus worked a hickey onto his cheek, pulling away with a soft pop and appraising it. “Not bad. Four more?”

“Four more.”

It took less than a minute for the rest of the marks to appear in a light lilac color. Remus licked his lips and picked up the ball. “Those are such weak hickeys!” James protested. “Come on, Loops, you’re better than that.”

“And yet they’re already done.” He picked up the ball and readied it. “Tragic.”

A few droplets of beer splashed out of the cup and Lily lit up when she read the dare. “Switch outfits with your partner. Oh, baby, you’re going to look gorgeous!”

“Do we get a screen or something?” James asked as Lily began unzipping the back of her dress. Two camera crew members came over with a large blanket and they stepped behind it; after a couple minutes of rustling, Lily emerged in her husband’s too-big sweatshirt with the cuffs of his jeans rolled up.

“Do you need a hand with the zipper?” she asked with a light laugh.

“Got it. Oh, wow, I look hot.” James came into view and Sirius held a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. The floral dress fell to his mid-thigh and the low neckline exposed quite a bit of his chest. He swayed back and forth, making the skirt twirl slightly. “Very breathy.”

“Alright, handsome, your turn.” Lily handed him the ball and he shot it—it bounced off the rim and Remus whooped.

“I can already taste victory,” he mimicked in a terrible Boston accent; James threw the backup ball at him and it smacked him in the forehead. “Ow!”

Unfortunately, Sirius’ throw also went wide, ending up down Lily’s baggy shirt. “Hang on, it’s in my cleavage. Nice aim, Cap.” She dug around for a moment as Sirius flushed, then emerged with the ball, giving it an elegant toss.

“Damn it,” Sirius muttered as he took the coaster. “Make out with your teammate for a minute, but one of you can’t move their lips or tongue. Again with the kissing? Really? Can’t we just switch clothes and call it a day?”

“Come on down to the front, pardner.” Marlene said with a false Southern twang, patting the backs of the two folding chairs she had set up. “Get your smooch on.”

“I can’t move my face, right?” Remus asked as he sat down across from Sirius. Marlene shook her head.

“Get it, Cap!” Lily cheered as he reached out to cup Remus’ jaw in his hands.

Sirius had to turn away and laugh for a second, rolling his shoulders out. “Okay, ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Why do you look like you’re gearing up for a game?” Sirius flicked him on the thigh and Remus pressed his lips together, still smiling slightly.

He started soft, placing slow kisses all over Remus’ mouth. “It says ‘make out’, Cap, come on!” James complained. “If that’s your idea of making out, you need to apologize to your fiancé.”

Remus raised his eyebrows and Sirius huffed a sigh, leaning back in for a proper kiss with a significant increase in tongue. Lily whooped and Remus’ shoulders began to shake with suppressed laughter—Sirius moved his hands to down to steady him as the timer continued counting.

“Ten seconds!” Marlene warned. The final buzzer went off and Sirius pulled away, wiping at his lips.

“That felt so weird,” Remus said as he dried his mouth off with his sleeve and tugged Sirius in by his wrist. “C’mere.”

Sirius bent down for a quick kiss before they walked back to their side. “Alright, our turn.”

“I get to throw it this time.”

“What? Why?”

Remus took the ball out of his hand and kissed his cheek. “I say this with all the love in the world, but you suck at beer pong. So does Pots, if that makes you feel better.” His shot spun around the rim of a cup before falling in with a clatter.

“Take an article of clothing off for every sexual partner you’ve had,” James read. “Aw, come on, I’m only wearing a dress and none of you want to see me naked.”

“You’re not wearing underwear?” Sirius looked mildly alarmed.

“I’ve had more than two partners, dude.”

Lily shrugged. “I’m not about to protest seeing you naked.”

“I would!” Remus and Sirius chorused with equal measures of horror. James rolled his eyes and downed the cup.

“James, you have to throw it,” Marlene interrupted as he handed the ball to Lily. “You need to switch each time.”

“Shit,” Lily muttered, giving it back. “Don’t fuck this up for us, honeybun.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He took careful aim, tossed it, and landed a perfect shot in one of the cups without a coaster. Sirius and Remus groaned as Lily cheered. “Hell yeah!”

Remus drank the beer as Sirius lined up the ball; it sailed through the air and bounced off two cups before sinking into the third. They high-fived with both hands while Lily took the dare out. “Call your parents and tell them you’re pregnant—oh, we can’t do this.”

“Why?” Remus snorted. “You’ve already done it once.”

“I would break my mother’s heart if she found out it was a prank.” James shook his head and passed Lily the cup. “I would get the lecture of a lifetime.”

“Can you imagine pranking poor Effie with fake grandbabies?” Lily asked as she drank.

“The guilt would eat me alive,” Sirius agreed. Lily lined up for another shot. “Miss, miss, miss, miss—fuck.”

“Call a friend and ask for a threesome.” Remus’ eyebrows shot up and he looked at Sirius. “As much as I want to win this game, there’s no way we’re doing that.”

“Hell no, I’m the captain. That’s an abuse of power or something.” Sirius drained the cup and set it aside, moving so Remus could get a better angle for his throw. It landed in one of the cups they had already hit and Lily cursed as she drank again.

“Marley, we need to have a talk about your alcohol.”

“I want you guys to know that I specifically asked for the shittiest beer they had that would get people drunk real quick,” Marlene said off screen. “It comes from a place of love.”

They traded three more shots back and forth, each one bouncing off the table or threatening to take someone’s eye out before James got a lucky shot. “I thought you said he was bad at this!” Sirius protested as he took the dare out.

“I thought he was!” Remus defended. “What do we have to do?”

“Let them paint us with glue and pour glitter on us.”

“Alright, let’s do it.”

“Shirts off, unless you want to ruin them,” Marlene said as she carted two containers of glue and some small buckets of glitter out. Remus and Sirius obliged, then stood on the clear tarp she had laid out. “Pots, Lils, go nuts.”

“This is the best day of my life,” James said gleefully as he took a paintbrush and began drawing a wobbly smiley face on Sirius’ torso.

“It’s so drippy.” Sirius let out a long exhale and bounced on his toes as James added polka dots and squiggles all over the place.

“What are you writing?” Remus asked as Lily began touching up her work. “Are those words?”

“Maybe. Glitter time!” Without further ado, she dug her hand into the bucket and threw a handful at Remus’ chest. It exploded in a small poof and only some of it stuck; he wrinkled his nose.

“It’s in my mouth.”

“Gay rights—oh shit that’s cold!” Sirius yelped, batting James away. “Just do the glitter already!”

“Don’t rush an artist!” Nevertheless, James went over and shook about half the bucket onto Sirius.

He spat out a mouthful of sparkles and glared. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that was necessary.”

“Whatever you want, David Bowie.”

“He looks more like Freddie Mercury to me,” Lily mused as she continued sprinkling glitter over Remus, revealing her name written in careful cursive. “This is going to be such a pain to wash off, you two.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Remus shook his hair out and a small waterfall of glitter fell out onto the tarp.

“Back to your stations, everyone!” Marlene called.

The game only got rowdier after that as each team did everything in their power to prevent dares, ranging from shaking the table to sneezing loudly each time someone squared up for a shot. Remus finally sank one and nearly smacked Sirius in the face with his celebratory fist pump as Lily groaned.

“Let the opponent pour ice water down your pants.” James frowned and looked to the camera crew. “I’m not wearing any pants.”

“You’re wearing underwear,” Marlene pointed out. His eyes went wide as she came out with two bowls of ice water and handed them to Sirius and Remus, whose smiles were downright maniacal.

“I really hope you’re done having kids,” Sirius said as James turned around. “On three. One, two—”

Both of them shouted in shock; Remus burst out laughing as Sirius shook the final few ice cubes into James’ underwear. “That was not three!” Lily tugged at her pantlegs and ice cascaded out, darkening the fabric along the way. “Aw, it looks like I peed myself.”

James braced his hands on the table and leaned forward, taking deep, slow breaths. “I can’t feel my balls,” he managed. “Holy fuck, that’s so weird.”

“It’s like a punch bowl down there.” Lily grimaced and picked up the ping pong ball. “I hope you two are ready for payback.”

Her throw was immaculate, despite both Sirius and Remus blowing on it as it arced over the table. “This is terribly convenient,” Remus said. “Wear a childbirth simulator for fifteen seconds each.”

“Fifteen seconds?” Lily swung around to the camera in disbelief. “I was in labor for four hours!”

“You’re also way stronger than we are,” Remus laughed as Sirius helped Marlene drag a beanbag out onto the glittery tarp.

“Who’s up first?” she asked.

“Sirius,” Lily said without hesitating. “He kicked off my labor, he gets to know what it felt like.”

“Do I get any choice in this?” Sirius asked, though he was already laying down and brushing glitter off his torso to make room for the sensors. Lily took the remote and pressed a few buttons. “Should I apologize now or—shit! Shit, shit, mon dieu, c’est horrible, s’il vous plait, owwwww.”

His hand collided with Remus’ and he grabbed it, squeezing it tight as James watched, wide-eyed, from the sidelines. “Baby, you’re going to break my hand,” Remus wheezed.

Marlene’s timer went off and Sirius scrambled to tear the sticky pads off, practically throwing himself off the beanbag. “That was hell. Lily, don’t ever feel like you need to have children again.”

Remus swallowed thickly as he took Sirius’ place, settling back into the cushions. “Hold my hand?”

“Please don’t break my fingers.”

Remus’ knee jerked up on reflex as soon as Lily turned it on and he yelled, eyes flaring wide with surprise. “Motherfucker! Ohhhh my god this is what death feels like. This is what death feels like, I hate I hate it Sirius Black do not let go of my hand.”

“Four hours,” Lily said mildly as he gritted his teeth and Sirius winced at his grip.

The cheerful jingling of the timer made Remus nearly sob with relief; he peeled the sensors off his skin and immediately went over to hug Lily. “You are the most incredible person I know. Please never make us do that again.”

“You chose to do it, Glitter Boy,” she laughed, giving him a playful shove after returning the hug. “Fire away, Cap.”

James had to drink, then Remus, then Lily, and after her shot went wide, Sirius landed a miracle throw. “Let the opposing team shave your head,” James read. He looked up at them and narrowed his eyes. “Touch my hair and I’ll end you.”

“We only have two left,” Lily warned as he took the cup and drank it. “And only one has a dare.”

“I’m not going to sacrifice my hair to win bragging rights.”

His next shot was a laser throw that nearly knocked over the cup it landed in. Sirius’ shoulders slumped when he took the coaster. “Let the opponent smash a pie in your face.”

“Could be worse.” Remus shrugged. “I’m glad I didn’t wear my nice pants today.”

“These chairs are going to live in my nightmares,” he said as they returned to the tarp. Lily and James carefully took the whipped-cream pies from the camera crew.

“Woah, what’s that?!” Lily shouted all of a sudden. Remus startled, turning to look at her, only to get a full pie slammed directly into his face. James didn’t hesitate—he really put his hips into it, and some whipped cream splattered back onto the table.

“Moisturizing is very important,” he said, rubbing the pie in slow circles around Sirius’ face until almost all of it was coating his skin. “Sugar scrubs are all the rage.”

“Do I look exfoliated, sweetheart?” Sirius asked, turning in Remus’ general direction.

“If I could see anything right now, I would say no.” Remus wiped his eyes off and flicked the cream at Lily, who quickly stepped backwards. Sirius leaned over and licked Remus’ cheek, laughing, until Remus grabbed Lily’s mostly-empty pie tin and shoved it in his face.

“I deserved that,” he said, voice muffled by aluminum and filling.

The video cut for a moment, and when it returned, the four of them were pie-free and back at the table. The game had clearly continued off-camera, because each team only had one cup left. Their cheeks were significantly more flushed than before.

“Just out of curiosity,” Marlene cut in as Sirius picked up the ball. “On a scale of 1-10, how drunk do you think you are right now?”

Lily made a face. “Maybe, like, a four?”

“Three,” James said.

“Yeah, three.” Sirius hiccupped at the end of his sentence, clearly startling himself. “…three and a half.”

“I’ll have to agree with the collective,” Remus said. “Not anywhere close to drunk drunk, because it’s shitty beer, but pleasantly buzzed. Take the average of everyone else and that’s…about three and a third? The math is skewed if Sirius goes with three and a half instead. I dunno.”

There was a beat of quiet before James shook his head. “Only you would do tipsy math to calculate how drunk you are instead of guesstimating like the rest of us. Fuckin’ nerd.”

“Fuck off, you can’t even do addition.”

Sirius threw the ping pong ball before the argument could get any more heated and it bounced off the table, hitting James right on the cheek. “Oops.”

“Hey!” It was James’ turn to throw next, and he deliberately aimed for Sirius’ face—Sirius ducked and it flew past him, hitting something off screen with a clatter. “Sorry!”

“Ha! That’s what you get.”

Remus rolled his eyes and took the ball; it went into James and Lily’s final cup despite their defense tactics. “Ah, shit,” Lily muttered as she picked up the coaster. “Pour beer into your partner’s mouth using only your feet. J, do you trust me with this?”

“I love you, but no.”

“That’s fair. To the tarp!”

Remus and Sirius watched with far too much glee as Lily laid down and Marlene put a fresh beer cup between the soles of James’ feet. “Ready?” he asked her. She nodded and opened her mouth as he began slowly tilting it.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Remus and Sirius chanted from the sidelines. About halfway through, the cheap plastic cup folded and rolled out of James’ grip, bouncing off Lily’s nose and falling to the floor.

She sat up quickly, checking her hair as the last of the liquid formed a puddle on the tarp. “Is it in my hair?”

All three men squinted at her. “Nope,” James said after a moment. “All good. Did we complete the dare?”

Marlene made an ‘ehh’ noise as she tossed them a towel to mop up the spill. “You didn’t finish the cup…”

“The coaster said nothing about finishing!” Sirius protested. “They did what they were asked.”

“Babe, we want them to lose,” Remus muttered.

Sirius winced. “Right. My bad.”

Both Remus and Lily heaved a sigh as they went back to their positions. It was Lily’s throw next—neither of them tried to prevent the inevitable and the resignation on their faces when the ball landed with a gentle plop aged them by ten years. Remus slid the coaster out. “Huh. Not bad. Let the opponent give you both three-minute makeovers.”

“Dibs on Remus,” Lily said immediately. He looked rather flattered by that and Sirius groaned.

“Pots, I don’t trust you with makeup.”

“Smart boy. Get over here and let me make you handsome.” James grinned and took the container of makeup supplies from Marlene, patting the two chairs at the front. “Lils, I don’t know what half this stuff is.”

“That just makes it more fun!” she said cheerfully as Remus sat down and she rummaged through the various bottles and brushes. “If we only have three minutes, I think we should do something simple and pretty. The glitter is really going to make it better.”

“Three minutes is so much time!” James laughed. Both Marlene and Lily gave him incredulous looks. “No?”

“Honey, it takes me twenty minutes to do a full face of makeup in the morning.”

“Jesus.”

“Time starts…now!” Marlene tapped her phone and Lily uncapped a dark pencil; Remus leaned away from her as she neared his face with it.

“What is that?”

“Eyeliner.”

“Please don’t blind me.”

Lily scoffed. “Have a little faith, Loops.”

James on the other hand, grabbed some mascara and began shakily applying it to Sirius’ lashes. “This is surprisingly difficult. How do I know if it’s working?”

“Usually you can see the color transfer over.”

“My eyelashes are already black,” Sirius said, wincing as James jabbed the side of his nose. “Watch it.”

“They’re also really long,” Lily said as she continued drawing a steady line along Remus’ lids. “Mascara might not do very much for the lucky bastard.”

“It’s not my fault I have long eyelashes!” Sirius protested as James moved on to the second eye.

“Do you have any idea how many women would kill do have those?”

“Ten seconds!” Marlene called. Lily swore under her breath and began putting the finishing touches on the second eye. “And…done!”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I feel hot as hell,” Remus laughed, batting his eyes at the camera. Marlene handed him a mirror and his eyebrows rose. “Thank you, Lily, I look so fancy.”

“My eyes are sticking together.” Sirius grimaced and blinked a few times so the clumpy mascara would settle. He looked over at Remus and went still.

“What?”

“You—hmm.” He paused for a second. “You look really nice. Very punk rock.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks. Some of your glitter stuck to the mascara, so you’re very sparkly right now.”

“Re, you have light eyes, which helped a bit,” Lily explained as she tossed the eyeliner and mascara into the makeup container. “Contrasting colors always pop better, and everyone looks sexy in eyeliner.”

“I wore it for Halloween last year and it was awesome,” James said, heading back to the table.

“Final throws!” Marlene called. All four of them looked over in surprise. “Did you all forget the point of the game? Loser is whoever drinks their cup first.”

Remus turned Sirius by his shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. “Please, please don’t miss this throw.”

“As if I’m letting James fucking Potter beat us in beer pong,” Sirius scoffed, kissing his forehead before lining up for the shot; it bounced off the rim and dropped right in. The room exploded into noise as Marlene blew the victory airhorn and Remus and Sirius began jumping up and down, yelling incoherently. James and Lily both groaned as he drank their last cup.

“Do we get a prize?” Remus asked.

“Bragging rights,” Marlene said as she took their empty cups. “I might have some Lions merch—”

Four hasty ‘no thank you’s answered and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Alright, sign us off!”

“Thanks for watching, Lions! I’m Sirius Black—”

“I’m Remus Lupin.”

“I’m Lily Potter.”

“And I’m James Potter.”

Marlene popped into view one more time. “Quick disclaimer: we do have a designated driver waiting today. Remember to like and subscribe for more Lion Pride content!”

[jaxl-road]

The League of Extraordinary Rockstars, ch.1

Summary: LA is a hub for music and mutants, making it the perfect place for Motley Crue, Guns N’ Roses, and countless other mutant musicians to call home. But it’s not all easy, especially when it comes to finding a decent place to live. So what better solution than moving in together in the mansion of an immortal? Love, drama, and super powers. If nothing else, it’ll be interesting.

Chapter Warnings: Language, genderswap!Steven

AN: This is a collaboration between myself and @the--blackdahlia​! It combines elements from her fic “It’s So Easy (And Other Lies)” (specifically her genderswapped!Steven) and my super powered GnR series. It is completely AU and ignores timelines like Woah, but hopefully you’ll have as much fun reading it as we’re having writing it! Let us know what you think!

~~~~~

Los Angeles. The city of angels. Also, the highest per capita mutant population in the United States. With it’s history of welcoming minorities, it was no surprise. And West Hollywood was the hot spot. Humans hanging out with mutants, getting their cigarettes lit by a bass player who could control fire, getting their joints from a singer who could control pot. Things were great in LA.

Well, pretty much. They painted a picture perfect world of mutants living in the hills with the rich and famous, when in reality, they were living in small apartments that had more mice than people in them. But the one nice thing about LA? It was usually sunny. Rarely a cloud in the sky. Stevie Adler smiled as she looked up at the sky.

And then there was the honking horn.

“Get out of the street you bitch!” A guy screamed from his car. Stevie sighed and shook her head, crossing the street towards the recording studio. Yeah, LA was a great city.

“What was that about?” Izzy asked from his designated smoking spot.

“Asshole is impatient,” Stevie shrugged. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Slash is hiding because Axl is screaming at someone on the phone,” Izzy explained. “Duff’s not here yet. But Baz is, and he’s getting a kick out of watching Axl trying to avoid going supersonic.”

“Is there a betting pool started yet on if he’ll lose it?” Stevie grinned.

“I’m giving him about ten minutes,” Izzy smirked. “I think it’s Neil he’s yelling at.” Stevie rolled her eyes.

A cold gust of wind blew past them, causing Stevie to shiver. It seemed to get darker all of a sudden, a cloud covering the sun, but before she could comment on it, Izzy was looking past her with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh-oh, looks like someone’s in a bad mood.”

Sure enough, when she followed his gaze, she saw a very sour looking Duff stalking towards them. The weather witch looked deep in thought, a scowl on his face, which made sense as he usually didn’t lose control of his powers like this, especially since he knew Stevie needed as much sun as she could get.

“Hey, stormcloud!” Izzy shouted, getting the bassist’s attention, “Reel it in, motherfucker! The weather report said clear skies today!”

Blinking, Duff seemed to notice the shift in weather for the first time, “Ah, fuck,” the clouds quickly dissapated, the wind dying down as the sunshine returned. “Sorry guys,” he sighed.

“What’s got you all worked up?” Stevie asked.

Running a hand through his hair, Duff glared, “A fucking pipe burst in my apartment. The place was shitty enough with cockroaches crawling all over me, now I’ve got two inches of water covering everything.”

“Hey, if you need a place, Tracii moved out so Slash and I have an empty room,” Stevie told Duff. “I might be able to dry your stuff out. I’m sure Nikki would help.”

“Yeah, because you know that Axl loves those guys hanging around,” Izzy laughed. “Let’s go inside.” The three of them headed in, seeing Baz and Slash, but no Axl.

“He’s in his tantrum hole,” Baz laughed, pointing at the soundproof room. “He’ll be out in a minute once he calms down.” Stevie headed over to Slash to talk to him, leaving Izzy and Duff standing there together. A few moments later, Slash was hugging Duff.

“Roomie!” Slash laughed.

“I see Stevie talked to you,” Duff chuckled.

“Dude, this will be awesome!” Slash grinned, “Now I’ll have my two favorite drinking buddies in the same house!”

“This is a terrible idea,” Izzy muttered to himself.

“What’s a terrible idea?” Axl finally emerged from his designated anger room, with a look on his face that said he was very consciously keeping himself calm.

“Duff is gonna move in with Stevie and me!” Slash exclaimed, “Apparently his place is underwater, and we’ve got some space since Tracii moved out, so it’s perfect!”

“...Yeah, I’m gonna agree with Izzy and say that’s a terrible idea,” Axl shook his head as he moved to lean against Sebastian’s side, “The three of you? In one place?” 

“It feels like a threat to public safety,” Izzy chimed in.

“You’re just jealous cause you know we’re gonna be the most fun house on the strip now,” Stevie teased. 

Izzy smiled tensely, looking briefly between Duff and Stevie before glancing away.

“Wait a minute, I thought Motley Crue had the most fun house on the strip,” Baz pointed out before Axl glared at him. “Sorry babe, but you gotta admit, they know how to throw a party.”

“I think that Nikki’s party trick of catching himself on fire is annoying and overused,” Axl huffed. “And you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Okay, before Sebastian and Axl start fighting to make up later, can we record some music?” Stevie asked with a laugh. “Duff, we’ll go get your stuff that can be salvaged. I’ll call Tommy to come help.” Axl groaned but Stevie pretended she didn’t hear.

“Think you can get through a couple songs without shattering the glass?” Slash joked at Axl. The singer merely flipped him off as they finally made their way into the booth. Stevie took a seat behind the drums, not noticing Duff and Izzy glancing at her. Slash just sighed and got his guitar.

Baz smiled as he listened to Axl sing, and soon, they had a couple rough tracks down before their studio time was up. Stevie bounced to the payphone to call Tommy while Slash, Izzy, and Duff talked.

“So...you’re moving in with Stevie…” Izzy said, staring at Duff.

“And Slash,” Duff pointed out. “Not just Stevie.”

“Right, right…”

“Gee, way to make a guy feel loved,” Slash pouted.

Izzy rolled his eyes, shoving Slash’s shoulder lightly, glad for the break in the tension as the three chuckled. At that moment, Stevie jogged back over, giving a thumbs up as she smiled.

“Alright! We’re all set! Tommy should be here s-”

“HEY GUYS!”

A gust of wind swirled around them as Tommy skidded to a stop beside them, his hair a wild mess around his face. The speedster gave Stevie a quick hug as he chattered, “Stevie told me what happened, that sucks dude!” He gave Duff a sympathetic pat on his shoulder, “I’ll totally help though! Nikki’s dealing with Vince right now, apparently he’s having a bitch fit cause of some phone call or something, I dunno, but he’ll be by to help out later. Anyway, how are the rest of you guns?”

Tommy gave Slash a quick hug, but when he moved to throw his arm around Izzy’s shoulder, his arm fell right through the other man, sending the drummer stumbling forward. Slash, Duff, and Stevie laughed as Tommy pouted at Izzy’s deadpan expression.

“Oh come on, man, don’t be like that!”

The next couple hours were spent bickering and joking as they waded through Duff’s apartment to clear out his meager belongings, Tommy running between the flooded space and Slash and Stevie’s apartment while Duff chewed out his landlord until he got his deposit back.

Duff came back to the soggy apartment to see Stevie standing there, holding a book and smiling. He raised an eyebrow until he saw what she was looking at, then he tried to run to grab it.

“Duff, you were so cute!” Stevie laughed.

“Let me see!” Tommy ran by, grabbing the book. As he did, a photo fell out of the back. Slash picked it up. “Duff, you were a dorky looking kid.”

“Says the guy who was wearing tights in a picture his mom showed me the first time we met!” Duff pointed out.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Tommy groaned.

“At least you don’t look as dorky as Stevie,” Slash teased, showing Tommy a picture of Stevie asleep next to Duff, her head on his shoulder, and most definitely drooling. “I’m just surprised you didn’t burn up the camera. Either with your sunshine crap or being so ugly.”

“Love you too,” Stevie rolled her eyes. “Why do you have that?”

“Just liked it,” Duff shrugged.

“Okay, well, do you guys mind like, getting out of here?” Tommy asked. “Everything that can be saved has been saved, and I can feel the mold growing on us as we stand here talking about how I’m much cuter than everyone else.” He smirked. “And Nikki said he’s gonna try to meet us over at your place to help dry things out.”

Nodding in agreement, the group made their way over to the apartment that housed Stevie, Slash, and now Duff. The place wasn’t much better than Duff’s old apartment, but it was dry, so they couldn’t complain. Plus, the bassist was happy to note that there were significantly less cockroaches than his old place contained (not no cockroaches, that’d be asking for too much, but less at least). 

On top of that, despite being small and dingy, Slash and Stevie still managed to make the place feel like a home. Cracks and stains on the walls were covered by posters, fliers, and magazine cutouts of their favorite bands, the pictures layered over each other excitedly. Their garbage dump couch was covered in an old tie dyed bed sheet to mask the tears. The kitchen counters held rows and rows of empty bottles, some of them containing the dried remains of long dead flowers that would probably give Vince a heart attack if he saw them. A lingering scent of cigarette smoke clung to the whole apartment, there was trash everywhere, and a pile of records reached halfway up the wall next to a thrift-store record player.

Duff immediately felt right at home. 

“So, your room is right over here,” Slash led the way down the short hallway. They passed a bathroom that had definitely seen better days, a bedroom covered in KISS merch that simply had to be Stevie’s, and another door covered in caution tape that was closed tight.

“That’s Slash’s room,” Stevie leaned over to whisper in Duff’s ear, “He thinks I don’t know about the python he’s got in there, but at least he keeps it contained.”

Shuddering at the idea of being in the same space as a large snake, Duff debated about turning right back around and returning to the lake of his apartment, but before he could, he was being steered into the final bedroom. It was a little smaller than his old place, but it’s not like he was picky. Tommy had piled his stuff along the walls in two groups- the stuff that needed drying, and the stuff that was okay.

Right on cue, there was a knock on the door. “Oh, that’s probably Nikki!” Tommy cried enthusiastically, and with a gust of wind was off to the door.

Sure enough, Nikki was there with Vince and Mick in tow. Nikki had a couple pizza boxes in hand, Vince had a sour look on his face, and Mick, well, was Mick.

"We brought pizza!" Nikki announced. "Two large supremes!"

"Did you get something not supreme?" Stevie quizzed.

"Just pick off the black olives and shit," Nikki teased. Mick smacked the back of his head and handed Stevie a pepperoni pizza.

"Here you go," He grumbled. "Nikki just likes to tease you."

Sticking her tongue out at the bassist, Stevie happily accepted her pizza, the group gathering in the living room to take a break before tackling Duff’s damp belongings. As they ate, Vince kept scowling, pouting, and muttering under his breath. Finally, Slash sighed dramatically.

“Alright Neil, I’ll bite: what the fuck is your problem?”

Glaring, the blonde singer huffed, “My problem is that your singer is an asshole!”

“Are we supposed to be surprised or something? This isn’t news,” Stevie chimed in.

But Vince continued as if she hadn’t said anything, “That bastard stole my favorite pants, I just know it, and when I called to nicely ask for them back-”

“He wasn’t remotely nice. I was there,” Nikki contributed.

“-he had the fucking audacity to say, ‘why would I ever steal your ugly-ass pants?’! Like, we all know that my style is MILES better that his garbage, midwest grunge look!”

“Don’t let Izzy hear you talking like that,” Duff snickered.

Meanwhile, Stevie’s brow was furrowed in thought, “Which pants are these?”

“My acid-wash jeans with the white stitching on the side,” Vince answered, sighing wistfully.

“Oooooh, shit,” Stevie grimaced, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I gave those to Axl after last laundry day.” Slash and Stevie’s apartment building was the only one in the group that had a laundry facility on-site, so once a week all the rockers showed up on their doorstep with a bag of dirty clothes and handfuls of coins for them. Slash and Stevie used to deal with it together, but ever since Slash decided that laundry detergent and dish detergent were interchangeable, he had been banned from the laundry room.

“What?!” Vince screeched, “Stevie, how could you?” he cried, his voice full of betrayal.

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Stevie threw her arms in the air, “I was tired, we all dress the same, and you and Axl are the same size!”

“You take that back! I am a quarter inch taller than him and you know it!”

“Oh, excuse me,” Stevie rolled her eyes, “how could I forget? How’s the weather up there, skyscraper?”

Gasping in exaggerated offense, Vince turned to his bandmates desperately, “Do you hear this blasphemy? She’s trying to sabotage us! She wants to break my spirit and give my superior wardrobe to her singer!”

“Yes, Vinnie, she is clearly an evil mastermind,” Nikki chuckled as he looked at Stevie’s pouting face.

“Aw, come on man, look at her!” Tommy reached over, putting his hands on either side of Stevie’s face to squish her cheeks, “How can you stay mad at her? Look at this face!” Stevie giggled as the other drummer pulled her closer, both of them giving Vince puppy eyes as Tommy sang, “You know you loooove herrrrr.”

To Vince’s credit, he put in a good effort fighting off the smile on his face. But eventually he couldn't resist breaking into a wide grin at the drummers’ antics, “Goddammit, you guys, I have a reputation!”

“You do?” Nikki laughed as Vince punched his arm, the group descending into playful bickering and laughter.

"I think I saw something about his reputation on the bathroom wall at the Roxy," Duff teased, making everyone laugh.

"Guys I gotta pee," Stevie laughed. She got out of Tommy's hold and headed to the bathroom, Duff taking a peek.

"See something you like?" Nikki teased, elbowing Duff.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he huffed, shoving Nikki’s shoulder, “Didn’t you come over here for a reason? Come help me with my shit before it fucking dissolves or something.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it,” grinning, Nikki rubbed his hands together as they glowed lightly, the two bassists making their way back to Duff’s new room to try to salvage more of his stuff.

Tommy shook his head lightly and turned to Slash, “Dude, Duff and Stevie in the same apartment? Have fun with that.”

“God, don’t remind me,” Slash groaned, “You should have seen Izzy’s face when we were talking about it.”

“I can’t believe Stevie still hasn’t noticed.”

“Hasn’t noticed what?” Stevie chirped, narrowing her eyes suspiciously as she rounded the corner, making her way back to her seat.

Without missing a beat, Slash smirked, “That Tommy’s been trying to flick olives down your shirt for the last ten minutes.”

“Dude!” Stevie cried indignantly, smacking Tommy’s arm, “Not cool! This shirt isn’t even low cut, you’re just gonna just fucking marinara on it or something!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Tommy grit out, glaring at Slash as he, Vince, and Mick laughed at his misfortune.

The night went pretty smoothly, other than Vince calling Stevie ‘Benedict Arnold’ various times throughout the night, and Nikki almost catching a couple of Duff’s books on fire. But soon, the Crue headed out, leaving the three roommates in their home.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m beat,” Stevie yawned. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She said goodnight before heading to her room, Duff watching her as she went. Slash slapped his shoulder.

“I’m not living with you pining over her,” Slash groaned.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Duff stood up and headed to his room. “Stevie doesn’t even like me like that.” With that, he headed towards his room, leaving the guitarist there to groan.

“It is a sad, sad day,” Slash muttered to himself, “when Axl is the one in a stable relationship.”

With one last shake of his head, he made his way into his own room, bracing himself for what was sure to be an interesting new living situation.

[fuckinuchihas]

Omg, I didn't think I'd actually get it! You're welcome for putting you out of your misery! I sent in a guess the first time and didn't get it but I'm Poppy, 25, and I like Bokuto! Thank You!

- 🦄

Alright Poppy! I finally finished it. 

Honestly if it feels like this is not who you are or completely and totally out of character that’s okay just tell me I can absolutely do it again. Or if it just sucks...which it might cause like...I’m hella fucking sick, but my anxiety won’t let me not be productive so here we go. 

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL A DO-OVER!!! ILYSM THANKS FOR PLAYING WITH ME AND SORRY IT’S SO LATE!! 

BOKUTO X READER VALENTINES DAY FLUFF 

You’ve been with Bokuto long enough to have mildly convinced him that you don’t really care about the extravagance of Valentines day. You don’t want a huge box of chocolates, to which half of them you don’t even like, or a bunch of flowers that will be dead in a week. 

It’s not that you don’t appreciate them, you absolutely do...but it doesn’t feel necessary anymore.

He makes you feel loved each and every single day. 

You don’t need cheesy red and pink decorations hung up in the living room or an expensive dinner at a restaurant where you feel out of place.

It just feels like way too much when you’ve already got everything you want and need by simply having him in your life. 

It’s more than enough already. 

Bokuto looks down at the last page of his ‘special love coupon book’ and grins to himself.

He’s old enough now to know that it’s kind of ridiculous but he’s given one to you for every single holiday or special occasion you’ve spent together and though you sometimes roll your eyes at what he believes are quite frankly generous rates on the slips, you never fail to smile when you see it. 

And..you’ve even cashed a few in, though after the first time he made you promise not to actually tear them out again, they were in fact, unlimited. 

He’s satisfied with it when he’s done with the design, this year he’s beefing it up a bit and having it actually printed out so he wanted to make sure the colors weren’t overwhelming or anything. 

Once that’s complete, and submitted to the print shop...he’s kind of at a loss. 

He knows you don’t want anything big. You’ve more than made that clear, though he’s been given contradictory advice by a couple of his teammates.

Still...he knows that he knows you better than anyone and that you wouldn’t be secretly expecting more.

The issue then becomes that he still wants to celebrate the day with you, even if it’s a lowkey thing with just the two of you. 

He makes up his mind that he’s going to get some of your favorite food and drinks and a hardback copy of that book you’ve been wanting and he can still feel like he’s celebrating the love he has for you, and that you feel it too...without overwhelming you.

Yeah, that sounds good…

He texts your best friend three days in advance, after setting many, many reminders on his phone and asks if they’ll take you out to coffee or a movie on him, a secret between the two of them. They of course love him and how affectionate he is with you so they agree quickly and he sends the money over before he forgets. 

The morning of, you have a nice lazy morning in bed before you bring up the friend date, he makes a big act of begging you not to go but just before you change your mind and cancel, he gets flustered and says he should probably get his workout in early so the two of you can spend the evening together.

You find it a little suspicious given the fact that Bokuto is about as subtle as a sledge hammer and a terrible terrible liar, but you trust that he won’t ask for too much and you put it behind you and go on with your day. 

As soon as you’re out of the house he grabs every pillow and comforter he can find and texts someone he knows isn’t busy today and grins when he answers on the first ring.

“It’s just a fort, man. What’s so hard about that. You tie a couple sheets to your ceiling fan and throw up some fairy lights and bam, you’re done and everyone is happy.” Kuroo answers after Bokuto explains why he wants him over.

Sure, building a for looks easy, but ‘ol Bo has learned his lesson and he doesn’t do any kind of large scale (or small scale) project without supervision anymore. 

“Just get over here man. I don’t have a lot of time...and what are fairy lights? Y’know what just stop and get those or whatever you think we’re gonna need and I’ll pay you back.”

“No...no what’s the real reason you’re asking for help. Besides the fact that you’re decoratively challenged?” 

“I AM NOT! SOMEONE TOLD ME I COULD BE A MODEL LAST WEEK!” he calls out before he realizes he does still need Kuroo’s help.

He ignores Kuroo’s response and continues on. “Anyway, uh,” he rubs his neck, not wanting to admit the truth but Kuroo is kind of like an evil genius sometimes. “I may or may not have sworn an oath that I wouldn’t do any umm projects without help.” 

Kuroo immediately starts barking laughter against his ear. 

“Stop being such a jerk and get over here dude, I’ve only got a couple hours!” 

“Wh-what’s the-” Kuroo is still slightly wheezing from laughter. “What’s the penalty.” 

‘Oh no, not telling. I’m hanging up. Be over here in less than 25 minutes or I’ll tell Kenma you broke his lucky switch, bought a used one on a street corner and then filed the edges down to make it look ‘authentic’.” 

“Fuck. Ugh fine.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 

Bokuto hangs up the phone with a smirk splayed on his lips. 

He makes a resolute promise to himself to never let Kuroo find out the consequences of not keeping his promise is that he can’t have kisses or cuddles for a full twenty four hours. 

What can he say, he’s weak..okay. He’s weak for you. 

Kuroo gets there after he’s scheduled the takeout delivery and sloppily wrapped both your coupon book and the one you were itching to read. 

He defends his blanket choices with his life but Kuroo insists on using these plain white ones he bought because it would ‘look more romantic’. He rolls his eyes but lets him do what he wants because if it’s one thing he does trust, it’s Kuroo’s eye for design.

“Ooh I forgot you had these ceilings...this is going to look awesome, dude.” 

“Good, now what do you want me to do…” 

“Nothing, I got this part.”

“Nooo, I want to do it myself,” he says, resisting the urge to stomp his foot. “It won’t mean as much if you just do it all for me.” 

“Y’know you might not be the brightest but you’re a good man, Bokuto.” 

“Eh?” he says, because Kuroo rarely ever compliments him sincerely.

“Nothin’ man, just get the clothespins.” 

They work together and in less than an hour it looks, well...it looks fucking amazing he thinks.

He’ll give up just this once and say Kuroo was right, the white sheets look pretty cool and the little lights they strung up are pretty neat too. 

It looks super romantic so he hopes you like it. 

He kicks Kuroo out before he can invite himself over, Kenma has a special v-day stream going on and he wants to crash it from a different ip, whatever that means. Well either way he turns him down and swears the secrets he has will yet again, stay between the two of them. 

Now he just needs to wait for you to get home. 

When your friend texts that they’re about to drop you off, his heart starts beating out of his chest and he gets super excited.

He waits for you at the door, stepping outside when he sees their car pull in and softly closes it behind him. 

“He yells out a greeting that could probably shake the ground if it was another decibel louder but you love how excited he gets so it doesn’t bother you. 

You make your way over to him with a skeptical look on your face as he starts nervously rubbing at his neck.

“Why are you outside?” you ask and there’s a pink tinge to his cheeks that you’re pretty sure isn’t from the cool weather. 

 “Umm Happy Valentines Day?” he says, an awkward chuckle quickly following the words.

“Kotaro...what did you do? Why are you standing outside?” you ask, immediately concerned about the state of your home. 

“I swear it’s not bad. I just wanted to surprise you so...please?” he asks, a hopefulness in his eyes that you can’t bring yourself to squelch no matter how worried you feel. 

“I mean I said I didn’t want anything big but I guess if you want-” you stop mid sentence, breath stuck in your throat when you see your transformed living room. 

He’s moved all the furniture except for the couch and the tv stand and it’s gorgeous. The lights twinkle a little in the darkness and you feel the irresistible urge to kiss his face. 

So you do.

He never objects to kisses. 

“This is really nice… I mean it. I’m sorry I almost ruined your plan or if I made you feel like you couldn’t do anything. I don’t ever want it to be that way. I just also don’t need you to make a big fuss,” you say, trying to be a little logical about it, but your heart is definitely thumping in that cheesy romantic way. 

“How about a little fuss…” 

“A little fuss feels nice.” 

You lay back on the couch, you read to him from your book and share music playlists that quietly add to the ambiance of your conversation. He coaxes you into some weird verbal games that he’s played with Akaashi over the years, because it was something he needed to bring him out of his shell a little and you end up laughing until your belly hurts. 

The takeout arrives on time and you enjoy the food and Bo loves to feed you small bites of your favorite stuff, so you let him. 

He tells you to unwrap your gift and you feel fondness and warmth rush over you when you see the handmade coupons, this time even more beautifully drawn out. 

It’s really easy to see why you’re so in love with him. 

Even in the in between moments. 

He’s always thinking of you and always wanting to be the best version of himself for you.

I wrote like an extra 600 words cause a lot of it was bokuto and kuroo interaction lol my bad but I hope you enjoyed it! 

[ggukcangetit]

Namjoon-ing in the Rain

Pairing: namjoon x reader

Synopsis: You hate the rain but your best friend, Namjoon, doesn’t feel the same. 

Genre/AU: fluff| best friends!au

Word Count: 1.6k

Rating: PG-13 for language

Warnings: nothing really

A/N:  i’ve never really written a member-centric fic for anyone other than jungkook. not sure how this worked out. just something that felt like being written. mainly because i hate the rain and i miss my friends. banner by @sushireads​ !!

There is something about the rain. It makes everything horribly squelchy and disgusting. Daily routine is hampered, and everyone and everything is thrown off kilter. Frankly, you hate the rain. 

You do not own a car, instead having to rely on public transport for every single commute. Another reason why you cannot stand the rain. Squishing yourself into a crowded bus during rush hour, completely drenched and trying your utmost to avoid the wandering hands of well-meaning perverts, is not your idea of fun. And why are you drenched when the weather app has predicted a week’s worth of showers which should have prepared you to carry an umbrella along with you. Honestly, you have half a mind to sue every single umbrella manufacturer there is. What is the point of the umbrella if you are still soaked to the bone after holding it up in the rain for a maximum of 3 minutes?

Of course, you do not verbalize these grievances when the opportunity arises. Instead, you opt for a more succinct phrase.

“Fuck the rain.”

Your best friend doesn’t have much of a response to this, continuing to sip the americano in front of him.

“Namjoon, pay attention!” you yell, snapping your fingers in front of him to get his attention.

He looks up with a mildly amused expression. “I heard you.”

“It’s only polite to respond when someone says something.”

“Yes, but-” he shuts the book he had been reading- “when someone only ever says the one thing over and over again, responses are more likely to run out.”

“Rude.” You cross your arms across your chest, glaring out the window of the coffee shop situated opposite your place of work - the place you meet Namjoon every Friday when work gets over an hour early.

“Come on, Y/N,” Namjoon chuckles, tapping on the table to grab your attention. “You always complain about the rain, but you’ve never actually said why you hate it.”

“It’s an inconvenience,” you say simply.

“I beg to differ.”

“Why? Don’t tell me it’s some romantic bullshit like the rains make everything magical and wondrous. Or the ever popular notion that rains are cleansing - a new beginning!” You scoff and roll your eyes, fingers impatiently tucking wet strands of hair behind your ear.

“I’m sure that’s true to an extent. But that’s not what I’m talking about,” said Namjoon, tiredly rubbing his eyes. “I’ll try and explain it to you some other time. Right now, I’m too tired to think. Yoongi was up all night mixing tracks and I couldn’t fall asleep in the next room.”

“You should’ve gone home after work,” you say, feeling a little guilty.

“I should’ve,” he replies with a shrug, but doesn’t budge from his seat for another hour as you finish your latte and he makes a few notes in the book he was reading.

An entire month passes by, and you and Namjoon have missed your weekly Friday coffee meets twice. It’s nothing life-changing or particularly alarming that has caused this disruption. It’s just life. But on the fifth Friday, the weather is bright and sparkling, and Namjoon suggests sitting by the Han river instead of inside the coffee shop. Since you are breaking from your routine anyway, you decide to order an iced honey chai instead of your usual latte. Namjoon opts for two iced americanos instead of one. 

You’ve only been to the river a handful of times. Each time, Namjoon has been there with you. In a way, you can’t imagine the river without him. Memory is funny in the way that it attaches permanence to the more fleeting parts of existence. 

“Did you submit the report on time?” Namjoon asks, stretching his long limbs above his head. 

“Just. Two minutes more and I would’ve missed the deadline.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less from a fellow deadline junkie.”

You grin before sipping the iced honey chai. It doesn’t taste that great. This is why you don’t experiment with new things. They tend not to work out for you. Or maybe it’s just that you’re unwilling to give change a chance. But that thought is not something you dwell on for longer than a moment.

“Honey chai not to your liking?” Namjoon chuckles at your disgruntled expression.

“This is the last time I’m experimenting with things. Dunno why I did it in the first place. It’s all thanks to your terrible influence. Changing up our usual meeting place pressured me into changing up my choice of beverage.”

“Whatever makes sense to you.”

“I’m just glad the weather is good today! Crisp skies and warm sunshine! I’ve really missed this!” You gaze up at the sky happily, noting a single grey cloud floating by. 

The weather gods have never particularly liked you as is evidenced by the fact that a torrential downpour begins mere seconds after you utter that sentence. 

“Fuck!” You stand up, gathering your belongings and calculating the driest path back to the coffee shop.

“Where are you going?” Namjoon asks, not having moved from his place on the bench.

“Inside. In case you haven’t noticed, Joon, it’s raining like the fucking apocalypse!”

“You’ll be drenched by the time you manage to get to any of the shops. It’s actually better to stay here. The benches here don’t really get wet unless there’s a strong accompanying wind.”

You groan dejectedly, dropping your bag on the bench and flopping down beside him. Namjoon always looks so peaceful during rains. It’s a complete contrast to the immense irritation this particular weather phenomenon has always ignited in you. 

“Why do you like the rain so much?” you ask, turning away from his handsome profile.

“I don’t like it, per se.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“I have time.”

“I always look to people to learn about life. Each person in my life has taught me something different. But I also realised that this applies to rain as well. There are so many different kinds of rain, and just like the different people in my life, each type of rain has showed me something different about life. There’s the soft shower that barely touches you as it falls from the sky which is such a contrast to the relentlessness of the rainstorms that continue for hours on end. Then you have the sudden storms that burst through without any warning, upsetting the natural rhythm of things. The cold showers in early November that indicate the incoming winter. And lastly, the first rain that hits the ground after a brutal summer. That’s my favorite one because the smell of the wet earth coming to life always reminds me of that day in our first year of college.”

Namjoon wanted to cry. He was nineteen years old, studying art history and business at the most prestigious college in the country, on his way to becoming a research assistant for one of his favorite academics. Yet, today all he really wanted to do was cry. It was the last week of the semester, the weather had been particularly oppressive, the cafeteria had run out of food by the time he had managed to get out of a meeting with his professor, and to top it off, his bicycle chain had snapped just as he was preparing to cycle home. 

It was at that moment that you walked over to him. You both had become friends about a year ago, and if he was perfectly honest, Namjoon wasn’t really sure how that happened. You were calm, even slightly formidable, in the way that you handled every part of your college life. Whereas, he was a bit of a bumbling mess, misplacing lecture notes, contact lenses, and plastic utensils. He often wondered what it was that was holding your friendship together.

“You missed food,” you said to him, matter-of-factly. “It sucked. But I snagged one of Seokjin’s homemade chicken wraps for you.”

Namjoon blinked a couple of times before taking the neatly wrapped packet from you. 

“Well, go on,” you said impatiently. “Eat it. What’re you waiting for?”

“R-right.”

But just as he unwrapped the foil, a crack of thunder erupted followed by a burst of rainfall. Namjoon had resigned himself to the fact that things were not going to go his way that day. What he had not expected was to hear you yell the most interesting cuss words at the top of your voice.

“FUCKING HELL! THIS WAS NOT ON THE FORECAST FOR TODAY! I DON’T HAVE A BLOODY UMBRELLA WITH ME! BASTARDS IN THE WEATHER DEPARTMENT CAN’T EVEN DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS PROPERLY! UGH!!!”

Though everything that could go wrong had gone wrong that day, he had never been able to forget the smell of the wet earth on that day. Because that was when he began seeing you as a real person and stopped questioning the mechanics of your friendship. 

“I realised that day that you and I were different in many ways, but there would always be something that united us. We’re human and all humans feel despair and frustration at something or the other. The rain humanized you that day. And I’ll always be grateful to it because otherwise I would’ve never gotten to know my best friend.”

It continues pouring for a couple of hours more. But the two of you don’t move from the bench alongside the river. The iced honey chai lays neglected on the iron armrest, while the empty americano cups have long since been deposited into the nearby trash can. 

There is something about the rain. It makes everything horribly squelchy and disgusting. Daily routine is hampered, and everyone and everything is thrown off kilter. But frankly, there are better things to hate than the rain.

[chocolatetakoyakis]

Ugh ALERT ! SINCE I GOT MY Nintendo switch yesterday, I got myself a new addiction aha

⚫️ POKÉMON SWORD AND SHIELD HEADCANON - CAMPING DATE IN THE WILD AREA WITH RAIHAN - ⚫️

Well, let’s start with basics : Raihan has a HUUUUUUUGE crush on you and doesn’t even hide it. He is pretty flirty and always asks you on dates. He didn’t confess yet and it was driving him crazy. Since you know he is a playboy, you decided to let him confess first. So everyday you’re trying to not fall for his beautiful blue eyes and pick up lines also aha ( which was pretty hard sometimes )

This time he wanted to go camping with you and your Pokémons in the wild area because the weather was quite too good to stay in a big city like Hammerlocke

It was absolutely not a training session, more like a lazy chill beach day ( well in the wild area of course aha )

Before you two go, he wanted to know what your bikini will look like to match his with yours

You knowing him very well, you teased him by only sending your ( f/c ) bikini on your bed and not on you to make him pout

He was extremely disappointed when he received it but still had a nose bleed while imagining you with it. His flygon freaked out by seeing him bleeding that much

Your swimsuits will match for sure because he got a looooooot

Before leaving his appartement, he will snap a picture of himself on this beach outfit which was a terrible idea because now everyone know where this idiot is going. So expect many fangirls and fans In général asking him pictures when you’ll arrive

He bought thug and Minecraft sunglasses for all of your Pokémon including his

He is 10 min late because he also bought a lot of berries for your Pokémon and the picnic

When he saw you, he got so exited, he can’t help but take your hand and rush to the wild area to find a cute place next to a lake.

Once you arrived expect him to IMMEDIATELY show his magnificent abs to the world including Pokegram before letting his Pokémon out of their balls

Is always eyeing you to see your beautiful bikini

Expect a LOT of compliments when you’ll show it

«  ugh Y/n you’re so pretty, I have to look away » «  Look our outfit Y/n it match perfectly ! Don’t you think we should stick on each other »

Will play with your Pokémon when you’ll cook a delicious curry because he is NOT ALLOWED NEXT TO FIRE AND NEXT TO THE KITCHEN ANYMORE

His Pokémon are so grateful you are the one cooking

Eating next to you of course even if ( your fav Pokémon ) is always stuck to you aha

Since it’s hot, you’re only on your bikini so he WILL give you small and sensual touch in your shoulders / thighs and spine

Will Snap your food

A lot of : «  OMG Y/n YOUR CURRY IS AMAZING, I WOULD LOVE TO EAT IT EVERYDAY *wink wink*

If you have a ponytail, he may even kiss your neck as a joke, just to see a little blush from you for once

The beginning of the afternoon is probably a HUGE WATERGUN FIGHT

Everything started because of him doing this to you :

The war began lol : HIS DRAGON TEAM VS YOUR POKEMONS !

Or I mean your Pokémon vs Raihan alone aha ( yep he got a focus aha )

Him pouting because it’s not fair and want a kiss from you as an apology ans WILL have it

You knew he was good at doing sexy smirk but you has no clue of his puppy dragon eyes

Finally got a kiss on his cheek and tweeted it

FINALLY GOT A KISS FROM MY CRUSH GUYS 😎 #TodayIsTheDay

The rest of the day was quite calm, your Pokémons were playing together in the water peacefully while you two went exploring a little bit

Hand in hand

Like a lovely couple

Until he decided to become more physical and put one of his arm on your shoulders

You didn’t mind at all but you knew that under his cool bubby attitude he was freaking out inside and you were so fucking right aha

Let you ride on his back to help you getting berries on trees

Take that opportunity to give a cute kiss on your sexy legs

You’re glad he didn’t saw your blush because it was priceless

When you came back your Pokémon were so happy about the berries ans you two spending time together because they love each other and would love to become a Huge family ❤️

Seeing you playing with his Pokémon is a beautiful memory Raihan would never forget

When evening came, after dinner Raihan decided to take you to an unknown place

«  Do you trust me Love ? » with a big innocent smile on his face

The place was a big lake, next to where you two were camping, it was surrounded by berries trees and Pokémons anyways super cute place

He invited you to go with him in the water for a midnight bath

«  Raihan I swear if we are attacked by a Gyarados...I’ll.. »

«  Dont worry Sweetheart. Come swim with me it’s fine love. »

You two were enjoying your little moment alone just by swimming together

He was much less exited and more sensual about spending this special time with you

The sky was full of stars, it was a pretty romantic place heheh

Still in the water he took your hands to take you to the shore of the lake, he was waiting for something to happened with a big smirk on his lips and his hands on your waist

«  Shhhhhh it’s starting love. Look how beautiful it is »

You turned your head and saw a herd of Galarian ponyta and Rapidash running freely in front of you. Being fairy type, they were letting a cute magical dust behind them. It was absolutely amazing and you were completely spellbind by it

You didn’t noticed Raihan was getting closer aha

«  Do you like it Love ? »

«  It’s amazing Raihan thank you for today »

He pulled your hair away from your face to have a look at your cute blushing cheeks and your tempting lips. His hands were on each side of your face while he was smiling waiting for your approval.

You two stayed like this for one minute before kissing each other under the beautiful sky of the wild area

When you finished, he pulled you into a hug ( yup you’re stuck to his abs )

«  Do you have any idea of How long I’ve waited for this to happen Babygirl ? »

«  As long as I waited for you to kiss me like that Raihan »

After a veeeeeeeery long and hot kissing session in the water you decided to go back to your campement where your Pokémon where ALL sleeping in one tent because they wanted to force you sleeping together hehe

So you finally slept in the same bed haha and thanks Arceus your Pokémons were next to you two because who know what would have happened if not 😏

Him saying : “Enjoy this peaceful night in my arms sweetheart, once we are back to Hammerlocke I’ll make sure you’ll be mine love”

“ Well good night to you too Raihan”

[chubbyheroesworthyheroes]

I don't know if you're still doing these, but if you are: 🐮Ephraim, transformation courtesy of Lyon? Pretty please?

It wasn’t unusual for Lyon to ask for the Renais twins help with something. They’d all been friends since they were quite young, and though neither of them were as well versed in the sciences and magics that Lyon was, they would offer whatever assistance they could give their friend. As it so happened, Eirika was away – off visiting Tana – so when Lyon came asking for help with an experiment, Ephraim was the only one available to head over to Grado. 

Ephraim wasn’t any good with magic, and science was similarly not a strong point of his. However, when given the general gist of whatever his friend was attempting to accomplish, he was always eager to give his opinion and help out – often by gathering ingredients and other things that Lyon needed.

When arriving, Ephraim was quick to ask what this new focus was – Lyon explaining in his soft manner about how he wanted to help the farmlands of Grado. The year had been particularly dry so far, and as such, some areas were struggling to maintain their livestock. Less food to go around meant that cattle were taking longer and were more expensive to raise, and dairy cows weren’t producing as much milk either. He didn’t want any of his people to suffer on account of the bad rash of weather, so Lyon was devising a spell that he could use to infuse the livestock with heartier stature. If they could just put on weight easier with less food, it would go a long way to helping the Grado farmlands. 

“So, this will make it easier to raise cows?” Ephraim asks, looking intently at the tome Lyon was skimming through.

“More or less…I haven’t tried something like this before, so it’s going to be a bit of trial and error. I’m hoping to get through it all quickly, however…People are really starting to feel the pinch,” Lyon spoke, excitement and worry mingling in his voice as he flips through aged pages. “You have the pitcher of milk ready?”

Grinning, Ephraim hefts up the jug, the cool liquid sloshing inside as he does so. “Right here!”

Taking a steadying breath, Lyon nods. “Okay…here we go.”

Index finger hovering underneath the text, the Grado prince begins to speak the incantation written within the tome, his other hand outstretched toward the pitcher that Ephraim was holding. Magical energy builds up in his outstretched palm, a familiar tingle, and a soft, lavender light beams from the built up magic out toward the pitcher of milk. Ephraim has to squint his eyes a bit against the light, watching curiously as the milk within the pitcher seems to sparkle and shimmer, before it suddenly vanishes.

“Uh…huh?”

The two young men blink, baffled at what had just happened. 

“Was that…supposed to evaporate into nothing?” Ephraim laughs, holding the now empty pitcher upside down in good natured amusement.

Lyon shakes his head, humming softly in confusion as he brings his attention back to the text in the book. “I don’t understand…It was supposed to bolster the milk – which, when given to the cows, would make the healthier and sturdier. It wasn’t a teleportation spell…” Now focused on puzzling out what went wrong – had he misspoken a line of the enchantment? – Lyon is oblivious to the speedy changes that are starting to effect his friend.

“Well, we can always try again, right?” Ephraim encourages, setting the pitcher down and shrugging. He feels a little funny all of a sudden, a strange tingle along his skin that immediately puts him in mind of the way the spell had caused the milk to sparkle. A faint sense of worry of struck him at the thought, wondering if he should have been so close when Lyon used the spell. Of course, this worry is punted to the back of his brain when he starts to feel flushed and feverish, the tingle in his skin only seeming to sink in deeper to permeate the entirety of his body.

He shifts his weight from foot to foot, face red as he feels his chest buzz with that odd tingling sensation, trying to ignore it for a moment, but the feeling only increasing as the seconds tick by. With Lyon buried in his tome, muttering to himself, Ephraim seizes the chance to – with some embarrassment, mind you – paw at his chest, stifling a moan when his hand presses against his almost painfully stiff nipples. He’s glad that he’d not donned his armor, as it would have been hellish to deal with this tingling feeling and not be able to touch where it was. However, on the flip side of that boon, it was easier to tell that something wasn’t quite right.

Fingers pressed against his nipple, Ephraim bit down on a gasp when he felt his chest…well, grow. Turning around quickly, just in case his friend decided to get his nose out of that old book, Ephraim brought both hands up to cup at his chest, flabbergasted when he felt his pecs swell out against his palms. He whimpered at the way his already form fitting shirt chafed against his hard nipples as his chest puffed out – toned pecs blooming into perky man boobs. 

A quick look over his shoulder reassures him that Lyon is still lost in his own world, trying to puzzle everything out about what went wrong.

Maybe it would stop – maybe it wouldn’t be too noticeable?

Those optimistic thoughts are quickly squashed when Ephraim feels the tingle increase in other areas of his body, too. His abdomen goes uncomfortably warm, and it doesn’t take long for him to see it begin to bulk up against his shirt just the same as his chest had. His lean and well maintained abs bloat out into a hard, round gut, straining his shirt so terribly that it gives up without much fight at all, hitching up to rest under his breasts; his newly formed belly is now fully on display, and the tightness of his shirt against his now plush chest makes it embarrassingly easy to see his nipples under the material. His thighs and ass are quick to follow the rest of him, plumping up to fill out his pants and then begin to strain them – they hold up better than his shirt, for the moment, at least.

Ephraim squirms and groans, slapping a hand to his mouth just a little too late, whipping his head around to look over his shoulder again. Lyon is still engrossed with his book, taking a moment only to murmur something that could have been, “Ephraim, please, I’ve almost figured it out.”

Breathing a short sigh of relief, Ephraim’s attention is brought back to his bloating body. The bigger he gets, the worse it seems to become – his weight increasing faster and faster. He feels so heavy and so warm, it’s getting difficult to stay standing. Glancing around for a moment, fingers idly playing with his enlarged tits, Ephraim spots a chair set up near the long table he’d put the pitcher down on and makes a waddling beeline towards it. He plops down onto it weightily, breasts and belly jiggling with the movement, a grunt escaping him as he settles into the chair. It creaks as he adjusts himself on it, the Renais royal resting his hands on his stomach as he tries to catch his breath.

Ugh, why did this feel so weirdly good to him? He should be utterly appalled, watching himself blow up like a pig, but he’s never felt more aroused than right now. It was getting harder and harder to keep his mouth shut, keep his hands from exploring and groping his expanding form. He was so damn hot! It was getting unbearable! Weight climbing higher, chair complaining underneath him as it bore the brunt of his fat backside, Ephraim shuddered as he felt his thighs grow fat enough to split his pants’ seams down the legs, varying sizes of holes springing up and oozing chubby flesh. The sleeves of his shirt weren’t faring any better, struggling to contain the fleshy rolls of his arms until they simply couldn’t stretch any further, rips tearing free and easing up some of the stress on his fat arms. 

He muffled a groan with his hand, round cheeks scarlet as he felt his ass begin to overtake the chair, bulbous cheeks and thighs flowing over the sides of the seat. Of course, this wasn’t helped any by the fact that his expanding gut was getting so large and cumbersome that it was forcing his blubbery legs apart. Thick love handles protruded from his sides, creating a crease as they fought for space with his ballooning stomach. Ephraim felt so amazingly bloated, his fattening belly lacking the rolls he had seen on some of the older, fat nobles of the court, but making up for it in sheer, weighty roundness. His belly was no longer hard, as it had been at the beginning; the fat having turned soft and squishy as it became more abundant on his frame. His breasts were so large and heavy, they now rested atop the curve of his gut, even spilling over the sides and forcing his fat arms to hang awkwardly at his sides.

A sudden cracking sound rent the air, and all Ephraim had time to do was yelp as his round body came crashing down to the floor. His fat body wobbles furiously as he lands hard on his plush ass, the force of it all finally causing his horribly tight shirt to split right down the middle, his soft moobs bouncing out free – the sudden movement causing something to leak from his puffy nipples. Ephraim can’t take it anymore, a loud, moaning moo bellowing out from his mouth as he lays there on his back. 

All this racket finally breaks Lyon away from his tome, a surprised squeak escaping his lips as he clutches the book to his chest, eyes wide as he takes in the enormously fattened form of his friend. “…E…Ephraim?”

The Renais prince, however, is too far gone now to even hear his friend. He’s so enraptured with his own body, with the way he continues to get bigger, and how damned fucking hot it all makes him, that he can do little more than grope at his fat belly and lactating teats and moan. He can feel how hard he is, but his erection is fully outside of the reach of his sausage-like fingers, buried under the incredible weight of his gut, the weeping tip of it pressing and throbbing uselessly into his own softness. Instead, fat fingers are tugging jerkily at his tits, prompting generous rivulets of milk to erupt from the engorged nipples as he moans and moos wildly.

Lyon is bewildered – first of all, at how this all happened so quickly without him noticing, and second…at how he finds himself reacting to this transformation of his close friend. It had always been Ephraim to protect him, look after him, and something in his chest fluttered at being able to take care of the other young man for a change. It was obvious that Ephraim wouldn’t be able to move from Lyon’s chambers here, he could barely do much more than use his arms stuntedly and shimmy back and forth in a movement that was easy to guess at – he was too massive and fat to get at his own dick, so Ephraim was trying to create as much delicious friction for himself as possible. 

Still a bit shy, at first, Lyon sets his book down and approaches Ephraim in halting steps. He sees cute, nubby little horns pop up out of his friend’s teal hair, and swears he’s starting to see faint spots like that of a cow’s coming in on the other’s skin. Milk is dribbling down Ephraim’s chest, full and overflowing, like two small, white waterfalls trickling down the crest of his globular belly; some of the liquid getting caught in his cavernous belly button as it makes its descent. Getting closer now, close enough to reach out a nervous but excited hand to his friend’s heaving gut – heavens above, he can even feel the way he’s expanding, getting fatter and fatter as he lays there – Lyon can see the silvery sheen of stretch marks all over Ephraim’s soft body. They’re almost pearlescent, and Lyon can’t help but find them beautiful as he traces slim, pianist fingers along their growing paths. 

And to his eyes, they are like paths – a map of stars to the wondrous, ever expanding galaxy that was his best friend.

Ephraim is lowing at him desperately, eyes far away and feverish, begging to be touched…to be loved and cared for, and worshiped.

“…Oh, Ephraim…You will take care of my people in their time of need, and I…? I will take care of you,” Lyon whispers reverently, his slim form pressing daintily into Ephraim’s giving bulk, lips touching ever so gently against the swelling curve of the prince-turned-cow’s belly as the other bellows in climax, inflated breasts becoming heavier with rich milk. 

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.5

Lance dragged his carcass to his bed way too late in the night that it had to be nearly sunrise. Blue annoyed she had to share “her” bed with such a pathetic excuse of a human, further annoyed as Lance wrapped his arms around her. Letting Pidge have sugar had been a terrible mistake for everyone involved. She’d talked through every second of every video, rewinding and pausing frequently to review anything that caught her eyes. Hunk screaming at both jump scares had been captured in the videos, Pidge thinking she was onto some kind of wailing banshee, until Lance had to point out it was Hunk. His poor bestie doing his best to melt into the blue couch cushions as his face burned. Shiro let Pidge talk as much as she liked, Keith sat there and glared when he finally came out the shower to join them. The idiot hadn’t even dried his hair off, throwing himself down next to brother where he shot Lance a look of what seemed to be pure disgust. The dude was a little ball of anger muffin, actually, Pidge was the anger muffin of the group, meaning Keith had to be... the anger loaf? The vampire was like 90% sure that wasn’t a thing, but with Keith being taller and more grizzled than his twig arse, Lance couldn’t do the brain to work out what he was, other than annoying. God, he was going to be dead in the morning.

The storm howled all night long, the latch on Lance’s window deciding to break, Blue sent flying under the bed after jumping squarely on Lance’s face, claws out as she did. A quick glance to his alarm clock confirmed the power had already gone out, meaning no lights, meaning not much point trying to fix the damn window until the sun came up. Except a normal damn person wouldn’t be sleeping away in rapidly cooling room. They’d be scared and all that... Pidge had said karma was coming their way, yet she’d failed to mention it was bad karma.

Pulling on his robe, Lance left Blue under the bed to make her own way out. A scared Blue meant the claws were out. That was a job for a Lance who didn’t feel every bit dead as he’d been for the last 3 plus decades. Heading down the hall, he let himself into the room Hunk and Pidge were sharing. The lamp between the beds off, Pidge snoring away on her side, the side effect of having no power. She must have left her phone bank at home, or she’d probably still be working on her theories from the hospital. In his bed, Hunk was clutching his phone in his sleep. He’d left his fucking glasses in his room, and now it felt like too much effort to go back. Lance didn’t particularly want to crawl into bed with Hunk, but what did normal people do? Would Shiro and Keith think him weird? Fuck... he couldn’t sleep next to either of his friends. He didn’t want to do anything that wouldn’t be considered normal... a normal person... would sleep on the couch. He couldn’t very well magic himself up into a bat and sleep in the attic for the night. Ugh. He was over this. Thoroughly over this.

*

The couch was cold and uncomfortable. There was a spot on the ceiling above it that’d started mocking him something after his third roll over as he tried to go the fuck to sleep. One spot led to two, then three... mocking his entire existence with their round unwanted circleness. The ceiling could probably use a fresh recoat. If he was going to redo the ceiling, he might as well update the rug under the coffee table... and then there was the latch to fix, how many other latched needed fixing... maybe he could put some fresh roses in the garden, the candy striped ones his Mami loved were already backed by white sprawling roses... he had abracadabras in for his papi... aaaaaand now his brain wouldn’t shut up. Maybe it was true about old people and their love for gardening. He really should spend the day tidying everything back up... He had the land and space, but everything other than the roses seemed to be neglected... maybe he could plant out his death soil? Put a nice little fountain there? Some violas and petunias? So much for sleeping. Pidge was going to love this.

Lance gave it what must have been an hour, by his time, after the first rays of sun started to dye the sky in light. The weather drizzly, overcast, and cold. A bit like his mood. Annoyed to find the coffee machine relied on power, now on top of his craptastic night, he was going to have to deal with a caffeine deprived Pidge in the morning. Sure, he was already going about boiling water in a metal kettle on the gas stove top, but Pidge insisted she needed two large coffees each morning before she was ready to face the world. He’d only invested in a coffee maker for the sake of her and Hunk. He’d missed the boat on the human race’s race towards coffee addiction.

Cracking a dozen eggs, Lance hoped he’d was making enough as he whipped up potato fritters and bacon... Then decided he wasn’t being a good enough host, adding fried tomatoes, fried eggs, a bowl of baked beans from a can he didn’t know he had, the finally fried bread thanks to the fact his damn toaster was electric too and he supposed people would want bread. There went his food for the week. Leaving the oven door down, Lance turned the oven on, sliding the plates and bowls in to keep them warm. Now he just needed his visitors to wake the fuck up and get the fuck out...

Lured by the scent of breakfast, Blue came running in ahead of Shiro. Making straight for the kitchen counter, Blue let out a demanding squeaked meow, yes, he knew, she wanted her morning wet food

“Good morning, my love. Breakfast will be ready in a tick”

“Thanks, darling?”

Obviously Shiro knew he was talking to Blue. Seriously, couldn’t a man talk to his damn cat without being attacked?

“Shiro, you’re not fucking funny”

Keith shuffled around the doorway, Lance feeling it’s should be criminal for house guests not to loudly declared where they were and which rooms they were entering, because damn, with his shirt hiked up that strip of smooth taunt belly between the hem and his jeans just wasn’t fair

“You tell me that every day”

“Because all you do is get older and less fucking funny. Where’s the coffee?”

“The power’s off, you’ll have to make do without. Sorry, Lance, he’s barely human until he has his coffee”

Be nice. Be nice. Be nice. Big fake smile, he wasn’t as dead as he was body was, all smiles

“That’s alright, Shiro. Pidge is the same. If she doesn’t have her two coffees she’s purely demonic. She’s been known to bite, scratch and kick. I used the kettle on the stove, not exactly cafe quality but as my mother would say, “if it’s good enough for your grandmother, it’s good enough for you””

“I’m pretty impressed, not many people would think about boiling water on the stove top”

“My family used to go camping quite a bit when I was a kid. As long as you’ve got a gas stove, you’re pretty much prepared for times the power goes out. Do you two want to eat first, or shall I go get Hunk and Pidge?”

“Oh... we don’t want to intrude...”

“You’re not. Everything’s already done, we’ll eat then I’ll run you into town. Sorry the power went out, your probably dying to know how your car’s going. Hunk’s dad always wakes up at the crack of dawn, so by the time we’re done, he should have some kind of update for you”

“I’m that case, sure. Thanks so much for all of this. I know you weren’t terribly keen on us crashing for the night”

“Well, you didn’t murder me in my sleep, and as far as I can see you haven’t killed Pidge and Hunk, so you pass with flying colours. I’ll be right back”

Lance fled as politely as he could, hitting his shoulder on the doorframe as he did. God, could he be more embarrassing? Who makes another murder joke when the time’s passed and it was now like he was flogging a dead horse. Pidge was right, he was lame as fuck... old age finally setting in... next thing came death... ugh, he really needed to stop with the mental joking. Insanity was a very real risk that came with living for too long. If he kept talking to himself like a crazy person, he was going to have to throw himself at the mercy of Coran with the hopes of a quick death. And fuck, he’d forgotten Blue’s food again...

Pidge didn’t want to wake up, a fist coming flying as Lance shook her shoulder. Hunk had spent the whole night with his hand on his phone, but was accepting of it being time to wake up. Pidge was not

“Fuck off... I’m sleeping”

“I have coffee”

“Gimme the coffee, then fuck off”

Lance snorted, too tired for anything other than a quick huff out his nose

“You have to come to the kitchen for coffee. We have to drop Shiro and Keith off in town, remember?”

“Let’em walk”

“After everything you put me through, you don’t get to go back to sleep”

“My house, my rules, fucker”

“That’s Mister Fucker, especially seeing you’re in my guest bedroom. Hunk, help me out here?”

“Nope. You poked the Gremlin. Do I smell food?”

“I cooked. I channeled my inner Hunk and made us all breakfast. Eggs, bacon, full nine yards, and coffee”

Climbing out of bed, Hunk wrapped his arms around him

“Best friend ever. Dude, you’re like frozen”

“The latch broke on my window last night, tried crashing out on the couch but you know what it’s like when your brain won’t shut up”

Hunk groaned at him

“You should have come crawled into bed here, man”

“I thought about it, but that seemed like effort. Didn’t wanna wake you up”

“You’re frozen. Go take a hot shower, I’ll make sure we save you breakfast”

“No, I’ll take a shower once we’ve dropped Shiro and Keith back in town. I’m dreading the state of my room, have to get my glasses out, but I’m scared it’s going to be a total mess”

“That’s rough, man. Still, you probably should get out of your pyjamas before giving us a ride home”

“I’ll have you know there’s no shame in wearing pyjamas shopping. I think they’re quite manly”

“Lance, bud, light of life and best bud a man could ask for, you can’t wear your pyjamas”

Lance had no issue with wearing his pyjamas in public. Somewhere along the line he was pretty sure there was a good six month period in his life where he’d worn nothing but his pyjamas. He loved the deep blue satin with gold trim and a little lion up on his breast pocket. Plus he had the matching robe and slippers. He loved them so much he had three more pairs in blue, one in red which looked horrible against his skin tone, and another set in black on the off chance something happened to the other four pairs.

“But they’re comfy”

“And you have to pretend to be an adult”

Lance blew a raspberry, pushing Hunk away

“Adulting is overrated. Back in my day you weren’t an adult unless you had two cars under your name”

“Dude, you have a car and a mortgage. What else would you call that?”

“An oversized kid with a commitment issue?”

Hunk face palmed, taking a long breath, he released it slowly

“Please, for me, will you at least change into something warmer?”

Dammit. Hunk knew he was weak to his bestie asking for a favour

“Fine. But know I do so under protest”

“Noted. Are Keith and Shiro already awake?”

“Yep, already in the kitchen”

Hunk scrambled to straighten up his bed, for no obvious reason Lance could hear how fast Hunk’s heart was racing. What did he have to be so worried about?

“Dude! Why didn’t you tell me? They better not have eaten everything”

Food? He’d cooked enough food to cook a small army

“I’d be surprised if they had”

“I don’t know, man. Oh my god, what if they have allergies?”

“Then I’ll have two dead bodies and all my karma would have gone up in flames. Relax, there’s a spread, I’m sure they’ll find something edible down there”

“I better go make sure...”

“Hunk, you’re making me sad. I promise I haven’t intentionally poisoned anyone in the last fifty years”

“There’s always that chance... So many people have allergies these days”

“And so many people now understand allergies better. Come on, man. They’re adults. Probably have two cars each and everything. Have some faith, man”

Lance’s words meant nothing, Hunk was off worrying himself sick over two grown men. He wouldn’t be Hunk if he wasn’t, but he didn’t have to attempt to take care of everyone they met... no matter how much of a teddy bear, people pleasing, free lover, he was.

*

Lance’s room had been torn apart by the storm. His window now broken, to match the broken latch. His bed was soaked, his floor was soaked, a stray branch had found its way onto his bed, and his damn glasses were cracked. The worst part was his blue slippers getting damp as he cross his room, stepping from “dry patch” to “dry patch”. More like “less wet patch” to “less wet patch”. Fucking storms, and fucking karma. He’d tried to be nice... he’d faked it as nicely as he could, that had to earn him brownie points. Now he’d be scrubbing the floors with vinegar to kill anything even remotely mould like that had the idea it was going set up residency in his house. They never warned you of the less fun things that came with being a homeowner. Had he know how much things would cost, he would have been campaigning for his mother start saving while he was still just an egg. Bring rural, someone had to come up from Platt. There was travel time, replacement time, having a stranger in his house, then there was the cleanup from their dirty boots.

Changing reluctantly into casual jeans, Lance piled on his thickest of jackets, with a scarf and beanie. Hunk had been suspicious of how cold he’d been, and with the weather still dreary, he needed to look the part, including forcing his feet into boots he hadn’t worn for at least two years. He hoped he’d looked okay, seeing he didn’t have an intact mirror to check. Lance also double checking he didn’t have any underwear hanging out his jeans, because he’d done that before today. Going to fuel up, he’d gone to double check his pockets for his wallet only to find a pair of black boxer briefs hanging from the back of his jeans. Thankfully no one had noticed as quickly stuffed them in his jacket pocket, before avoiding any and all eye contact when he’d gone in to pay. He most certainly wasn’t worried about his appearance due to the two handsome strangers in his kitchen... Nope. Not at all.

Heading down, Lance tripped on the stairs, then bumped into the banister. Every morning his eyes seemed to need an adjustment period thanks to his damn cracked glasses. They were only a cheap pair, but that wasn’t the point, it was something else he needed to replace on top of everything else going on. Back in the day he’d made some very dubious choices over his frames, thanks to the hipster rival he was now having the chance to rock the same shades as a much cooler person in a less judgmental time. Making his way down to the kitchen, Lance could hear Pidge prattling on about the paranormal, Hunk must have poured into a chair then poured coffee down her throat to keep her calm. She was honestly as bad as a starving vampire, Lance wouldn’t say he famished, but he would say his daily routine was out of whack. He would have been into his first blood pack by now, yet thanks to his guests and the lack of power the fridge needed to remain cold since he didn’t have a backup power system for the fridge alone.

Feigning casualness, Lance wandered into his kitchen, happy to see everyone except Keith was either. If Keith didn’t want to eat, then he could go goddamn hungry for all Lance cared

“Whoa, man. What’s with the glasses?”

Trust Hunk to notice right off the bat

“You know how I told you the latch snapped in the storm, the whole window ended up shattering. Room’s a mess, and I need to call a glassier out from Platt”

Trudging to his seat, he couldn’t take it thanks to Sir Mopesalot, his routine thrown off yet again as he was to sit between Pidge and Keith

“That’s rough man, covered by insurance?”

“Yeah, but I’d rather get a private quote too. If it’s less than $500 then it’s easier not to pay the excess”

“Ah, good thinking. What do you want for breakfast?”

There wasn’t that much left. Evidently he’d miscalculated everyone’s hunger levels

“I’ll finish off the potato fritters. Everyone okay with that?”

No one said no, so Lance helped himself to the last two. He was an excellent cook, if he did say so himself.

“So, Shiro. What’ll you do when your car’s fixed?

Shiro washed down the last of his fried egg with a large gulp of coffee, before leaning his elbows on the table as he nursed the mug with both hands

“Head back up to Platt. This was only going to be a day trip”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true. Lance is always telling me I ask too many questions”

Lance brought his hand up, ruffling Pidge’s hair

“That’s because you do. I’m sure Shiro is anxious enough over his car as it is”

“He was talking just fine until you showed up. Plus, you forgot to feed Blue. My poor baby was screaming her head off for her food”

“Ah, fuuu-... Thanks, Pidge. I remembered before, but forgot again”

“I did it for Blue, not for you”

“I know. Her and her toe beans appreciate it”

“Glad to know someone appreciates me”

Lance gave a shake of his head

“I always appreciate you, and you know it. Like I appreciate the way you’re going to rinse the dishes for me after you’ve had your second cup of coffee. You’re still in your “Gremlin Mode””

“If you’d just brought the coffee up, I wouldn’t have to be”

“And if you just went to bed at a normal hour, like a normal person, you wouldn’t be so sleepy and cranky. Maybe I should call your mum so she can put you down for a nap when you get home”

“And maybe I should hack back into your home security and set your speakers to play “Psycho” every time you get in the shower”

“You couldn’t pick something I could sing to, could you?”

Pidge kicked the back of his foot under the table, she was on fire this morning

“Watch it. I’m not above motivation speeches for when you’re on the toilet”

“I’m down for that”

“You’re so goddamn weird”

Shiro started laughing, his right hand coming off his coffee cup as he shook it to say “ignore him”. Taking a moment to compose himself, he smiled over the rim of the cup

“You three really get along well, don’t you?”

“Yep. No offence man, I don’t know your friends or anything, but I feel like I’ve got the two best friends in the world”

Lance felt a surge of pride over his friends. Had Shiro dared to challenge him, he’d be having some serious daydreams over what he could do to the man and where to dump the body when he was done. Not that he ever would, and not that he really let himself think that way too often. He was just way too overprotective of the ones he loved

“It’s nice. To have friends as close as family, I mean. Do you have family in the area?”

“He has a grandmother in Pla-“

Lance elbowed Pidge, the question directed at him given Shiro was looking at him

“Yeah. My grandmother lives in Platt. You know what that’s like, she always has all the goss about what’s up. I had wanted her to come live with me so I could take care of her, but she wouldn’t hear of it. Apparently I need to get out and live my own life, but that’s hard when most people suck”

Shiro nodded

“What would she say if she knew you picked up two strangers in the middle of a stormy night?”

“She’d say I did the right thing. She’s been my number one supporter through everything. I could be murdered and she’d still want to hound my ghost over if it was a good host or not. “Lance, did you remember to feed them”. “Lance, I hope you didn’t have your feet on the coffee table in front of them”. “Lance, did you use the good silverware and china?”. Lance, I hope you showed them where everything was”. We’ve got like this massive family, so things were always chaotic. Church every Sunday, family dinners, that kind of thing”

Lance was being nice, but blurting out his life was taking it to the next level. Shiro continued to nod and smile politely as Lance spoke

“Do you still attend church?”

“Sometimes, but I always make sure to go for Easter and Christmas. I light a candle every year for my pop who died. I believe in god, but I also believe in evolution. Maybe because I spent so many days at Sunday school, it’s rubbed off on me”

“That’s sounds nice”

Lance hummed

“Yeah. I like to take my grandmother too. Most of the family is catholic. The way I look at it, as long as your not a dick to me, I won’t be a dick to you, nothing else matters. People can believe in who or whatever they like, and that’s their own business”

“Lance, shut up. You’re doing the too many words”

Lance agreed with Pidge, from life he knew sometimes people talked far too much when they were nervous. Shiro left him nervous, but as not nervous as his little brother. Keith hadn’t eaten a thing, even the mug of coffee in his hands had hardly been touched. But he hadn’t really been babbling, had he? He had a tendency to do that when he was sleepy, so always tried to keep a set schedule and sleep routine

“And you’re doing the “not enough coffee in your caffeine system”, Pidgeon”

“I hate you, you know that?”

“Yep, as much as I hate you”

“Fuck... You don’t hate me”

“I love you, which means you love me”

Pidge mumbled about being tricked, flipping him off as she rose her coffee cup to her lips.

Shiro smiled at their antics, Lance wishing he didn’t look like such a loser with cracked glasses

“Well it’s lucky for us that you did. Breakfast was delicious”

“I’m glad you liked it. I can’t cook like Hunk, but my grandmother would have killed me if I didn’t pick up a thing or two cooking with her”

“You can let her know you did her proud. Is she...”

Is she what? Ooooh...

“Oh, she still alive. Yep, she’s in Platt and try to visit her when I can. Garrisons like the perfect distance away. I don’t have to live in the city, but I can visit when I want. I’m talking way too much. I must be boring you by now. We can head our when your done, and Keith’s finished with his coffee”

“Oh, um, yeah. Right. Keith, you better drink up”

After all the worry over the car, how could Shiro possibly forget? Oh god... what if he was one of those annoying types that were seriously bad at taking a hint? Sure, he’d let them stay one night, but that wasn’t happening again. This was his house and the sooner they left the better it was for everyone. Keith cast Shiro a sullen look as he finally sipped at his coffee, Pidge was bad in the morning, but Keith took it to a whole other nonfunctional level. Lance was definitely not going to miss him leaving in the slightest. Seriously, he’d cooked his arse off and the arsehole hadn’t eaten a single thing, even treating the coffee as if it were poisoned. What a douche.

[spencapenca]

The Misfits Chapter Three!

Trigger Warning: Internalized homophobia and religious trauma, neglect, mention of death of a parent(s), alcohol addiction, swearing, use of marijuana, and a panic attack. Word Count: 3,350 Feel free to review, and leave a comment or criticism! Update: I am thinking I will update weekly or bi-weekly on Thursdays! I am trying to get in the grove of a posting schedule.

The time had come, midterms. With the group stressing through the AP Psych midterms Dave offered his house to study despite being conscious of the size. It just made sense, his parents weren’t home and they always had food. The agreed time was 4:00 that afternoon, they would study for a few, grab dinner, and study until later. The group figured if they combined their knowledge, they would be able to finish their study guide-- in which it was made clear that completing it would almost guarantee a passing score. The group also knew that with Spencer there it would be easier, and they may get done sooner. They really should have started to study sooner, seeing as how the exam was in three days. Spencer walked through his household in the dark, as his mother had forgotten to pay the bill again this month. The young boy tried to figure it out, he tried to figure out how to make his mom better-- it started with pleases and finished with her cold, long fingers backhanding him in the cheek, resulting in a purple bruise he passed off as hitting his face on a doorknob, or getting elbowed by one of the bigger kids. He noticed his mom was in a trance, staring out of the window and muttering to herself. He then saw her pacing nervously over the worn carpet with cheap liquor in her hand, a cigarette with a long cherry burning down the stick. He tried to step in and stop her, so it hadn’t become uncommon for Spencer to go to bed with a small bruise forming from where she would slap him, accusing him of spying on her only for her to forget it the next day. He tried to convince her to drive him, but she accused him of spying for them again, and he realized that it there was no way that she was gonna drive him. So he set out to walk, peering at the angry sky through the window. He used the little data that he had on his phone, of which his deadbeat father still paid despite his absence to find the way to Dave’s house. He rarely used it, not liking the technology because of the fear his mother instilled in him.  About a block into his journey he paused and looked up into the dark sky, seeing the furious clouds, and felt a few raindrops fall onto his thin face. His long-sleeved shirt that was much too thin for a rainy October day became increasingly wet.  He started to shiver, walking faster now to make his body warmer. The rain started to come down harder and he brushed the too-long hair out of his eyes that were now becoming soaked. He jumped as thunder clapped and thought to himself ‘this is going to be a long walk’ Sandy stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as a dark pungent liquid sloshed around in a dirty cup. JJ stormed out of the house, infuriated.  Her mother’s drinking had gotten unbearable, she kept finding empty liquor bottles in the garbage, tabs on the floor, and the freezer was more stocked with vodka and tequila than it was food. Quite frankly, she couldn’t do it anymore. She needed the escape. She needed freedom from the suffocating sadness in her house. So naturally, she called Emily and of course, she came for her. They sit in awkward silence until they arrive at Emily’s house and sit on her bed. The smell of the alcohol burned into her nostrils, as she tries to cleanse her senses with the calming lavender sents of Emily. “Ugh! I fucking hate living there! There’s too much shit” JJ rants, her voice quiet but venomous as the stress pulsates off of her. She looked miserable in the clothes she was wearing. Tight and form-fitting-- though it looked great, it was most definitely not something that she should be in when she was this upset. So the first thing Emily did was go to her closet and find a pair of black sweats followed by a dark yellow hoodie that just about swallowed JJ. “You look miserable. Go change and we’ll talk.” Emily said softly, trying to lighten the mood but failing. JJ nodded with a small huff and went into her bathroom, changing quickly into the clothes that smelled like Emily, her senses calmed as a small smile spread across her face.  The blonde came back out and plopped onto the bed next to Emily, tension thick in her chest. As if Emily can feel it, she hands her a medium-sized joint burning slowly as smoke comes from its end. “It will make you feel less… well just less. Just trust me.” Emily watched her expression as she sat up and took a small slow drag from the burning paper. JJ did what felt natural and inhaled only to cough. “That’s okay, try again.” And so she did. A couple of times until she felt an unfamiliar calm wash over her senses. Not necessarily high, but definitely calmer. She passes the joint to Emily before flopping back down, “I hate living there. All she does is drink. All. Day. She works from home and drinks. She cooks… well orders shit food, and drinks. She is turning into my grandmother and it is terrible. Everything changed when… when she died… Nothing is the same! Is it too much to fucking ask?!” She rants as small affirming nods and hums come from Emily, “I mean, is it TOO much to ask for your mother to be sober enough to realize you’re not even home!? Or that she’s driving in the car still?! Is that really too fucking much?” “No… no it’s not. I’m sorry... Is there a way you can talk to your dad?” “No. Fucking asshole left. Left me in this shithole.” “I’m sorry JJ... I truly am. Let’s just focus on something else.” And so they did, they smoked and laid close, relaxing while watching a movie or two until it was time to go to the study group. Aaron had been preparing for this day, books scattered along his bedroom floor soft music in the background. He puts everything aside for his brother Sean, who seems to be having school issues of his own, Aaron reminds himself of the man he has to become. His father had left, thankfully-- so he had to become the man, the father figure. To raise his brother when his mother couldn’t. He tried his best to be a good brother, a good son, a good student. These tests were important to that. Crucial. After this, he could relax a bit, let loose as he let Dave take the ropes. Sean LOVED going over to Dave’s, he got to experience the childhood that every kid could ever want over there. Not only that, but it gave Aaron the opportunity to relax and let go, letting himself be a teenager. He would get to hang out with his friend and let go of the responsibility. When he took Sean over to Dave’s with his, he would allow his brother to play with the games that the wealthy teen’s house was stocked with, Sean was able to be a kid too. It was really just healthy for the both of them. Derek and Penelope had been driving for a while, drinking sugary drinks from Starbucks, and holding hands. They decided to have a date day before the study group since they didn’t have much time alone anymore. Though this time was slowly coming to a halt, “Derek… is that Spencer?” She asked, seeing a small figure, shivering in the rainy weather. “I’m sure it…. It is, isn’t it?” He responded, slowing down to the drenched figure Spencer looks over nervously and sees Penelope and calms down, seeing Derek’s window roll down, “Hey kid… why are you in the rain? It’s freezing out there!” “I uhm… I was walkin to Dave’s… for the study group tonight.” Derek looks over at Penelope with a worried glance. Why couldn’t the kid's mom drive him, and how the hell was he getting to school every day? He takes in a breath and nods to his back seat, “Get in Spence, you can just stay with us until the study group. Okay? We were about to grab lunch, are you hungry?” Spencer contemplates for a second before nodding “ ‘M sorry… Your car is gonna get all wet” He mumbled, climbing into the backseat as a crack of lightning, followed by a roar of thunder sounded overhead. He jumped and closed the door as Derek reassured him it was perfectly fine. Penelope looks back and sucks her teeth “Der, you have a hoodie right?” She asked, smiling to herself as he nodded. “Here Sug, take off that wet shirt, put this on, it will keep you warm.” She told the young boy, his hair flush against his forehead as it dripped with small droplets. “Okay…” He responded, pulling the wet shirt off and quickly reveling in the dry comfort of the hoodie that was much, much too big for him. The group went to lunch and then to an arcade, and then--just for Spencer, they went to the big library, allowing him to check out a few books. Derek and Penelope were worried for him, worried for his condition because they noticed something else, a purplish, yellow bruise forming on his cheek that was an obvious handprint. Something was going on and they were going to figure it out. They weren’t going to leave this alone, not this time. Not after the clues that they have seen. Not after the lack of food, dirty clothes, and unkempt hair. Not to mention the ripped shoes and broken pencils.

The groups started to flow in, Aaron and Sean first, then JJ and Emily-- who were still a little buzzed, and finally Derek, Penelope, and Spencer. The first plan of action was the homework packet in which they had due for the midterm. It was a prep packet that was every bit of fifteen pages long, covering everything they had gone over or talked about in the past nine weeks. Little bits from previous exams, of which they had weekly, and questions over the 5 chapters of the textbook they have started to read, front to back. After a while Spencer looked over at Emily and scooted closer to her, a small sniffle forming. He was already starting to get a cold from the rain. He was so nervous to go home, what if his mom came out of the episode and realized he wasn’t there? What if they wouldn’t take him home? How would he get the cold that he caused to go away… how would he clean his clothes? The water bill hadn’t been paid… he had run out of water. His train of thought was broke when Emily naturally rubbed his back with her free hand and smiled softly, not that she would let anyone see it; however, despite her attempts to hide it, JJ noticed and blushed. God, that smile was like crack to her. Addicting. After quite a few hours and rumbling stomach noises, Dave had decided it was time for a break, and for pizza. Though, choosing what kind was not easy. There were many raised voices, and each time Spencer tried to speak up, he was spoken over, making him shrink down. It was too loud. A hand flew up-- innocent of course, just Derek patting someone on the back but it caused him to flench and yelp. Suddenly, all eyes were on him, he was quivering like a wounded puppy, covering his face with small tears forming. His chest felt tight, his breath hitched, but then sped up rapidly, his lungs heaving with each breath. The sight made the noise stop immediately. Emily spoke softly, kneeling beside him “Hey bub, what’s wrong?” He shook his head and sat on the floor slumping against the wall as he shook. Fear taking over his responses, and his fight or flight making him freeze instead. Soon enough he muttered two words “I’m okay.” Two words he muttered way too often, his personal mantra. Emily took into account the noise, knowing how he felt about loud sounds, and how to fix that. She nodded and pulled him into her lap, holding him close, and covering his ears with her hands to muffle the sound around them. With the silenced sound and the comforting scent sent around him he curled up in her lap, his messy curls fanned against her pale chest as he breathed with her, his eyes fluttering closed. The group looks at each other worriedly. Normally Spencer wasn’t like this. He was sensitive, jumpy sure, but he never reacted like this. He never flinched. They sat silently before being jumped out of their thoughts with a ring of the doorbell. Pizza. No one moves for a moment, looking around in before Rossi scrambles up, clumsy but quiet. He tips the delivery man more than he would like to admit and sits the boxes in the middle. “Eat, but be quiet. Don’t wake the kid.” He warns Spencer's head perks up with the smell of the pizza, looking around sleepily “ ‘za” he says, a small sleepy grin on his face. Emily smiles and rubs his back, cutting a glare at Derek who was almost gushing at them, “Yeah kid, pizza. Eat some, then I think Derek over there is gonna get you home to your mama.” She says softly, not expecting him to tense at those words. “I don’t wanna go home…” he mumbled, his voice going stoic, the fear was more than he wanted to deal with. He wanted to stay here with Emily. He wanted to feel safe. Emily glanced at Aaron worriedly, then at Rossi when the silent observer of the room spoke up “Bub, can Spencer stay with us? He’s a good friend, even if he’s younger than me.” Sean speaks up from the back of the room. Aaron nods and glances at Spencer, looking for his word of approval. “Whadyou think kiddo?” “Uhm… Can I please?” He asked quietly, nuzzling into Emily’s chest. “Well, are you sure your mom-” “She doesn’t care. You sure you don’t mind?” He interrupts Aaron quickly, not wanting to explain. Aaron is taken aback at how quickly he responded and he nods, “Sure Spencer. Of course, you’re welcome always.”

Everyone trickled out of Dave’s home group by group, Aaron leaving last. He stayed around because Spencer had fallen asleep again on the couch and he wasn’t about to wake that kid up. It was obvious he never slept with the dark purple rings around his eyes, leaving him puffy. Emily drives back to her house with JJ in her passenger seat. She could feel the tension in between them, the discomfort from JJ’s side. Though it was nothing Emily had done. The suppressed voice in the back of her head ‘don’t do it. Evil. abomination. Wrong.’  A list of the pastors' sermons. The words that he spewed at the conjugation, spewed at her. They cut deep. Every time she looked into the mirror she saw disgust. She sees failure. An imperfection. A giant stamp of hellfire and brimstone. A bubbling in her chest as she felt the impending doom of Sunday morning service. The one day her mom was sober enough to be around other people, but not enough not to be an absolute asshole. JJ was snapped out of her thoughts when Emily tapped her knee “And we’re back to the house. Common up to my room, and we can talk about whatever has been on your beautiful mind.” She says, trying to butter her up and flirts a bit-- it was hard not to at this point. Hard not to let herself fall. Though it did cause an obvious burst of tension between them. “I’m not too sure that you want to know what’s going through my mind right now.” She mumbles, making her way up to Emily’s room and plopping on her bed face down. “Oh, I’m sure I do. I love to hear all of your thoughts. Don’t worry about scaring me off.” JJ let in a shaky inhale “Abomination. Dirty. Disgusting. Evil. Hell bound sinner.” “Woah! Hey! What the hell blondie, what’s happening there.” Emily stutters out, sitting closer to the younger female. JJ looks up with tears in her eyes, “I’m dirty, I can’t help it, but I’m dirty. M-my pastor said and I t-tried to pray it away. I t-tried to be perfect. I thought that if I made myself fall for a Christian boy I would be okay. But I’m not! I’m not okay because girls are pretty and guys are okay. All Christian boys are gross, and I’m TIRED of HATING myself. Leviticus 18:22, For man, shall not lay with a man as he lays with woman for it is an abomination.” She starts to sob out, her cheeks getting heated from the wet tears stinging her cheeks as she sobbed into the fleece blankets. Emily looked over and placed a hand on her back rubbing it softly “You’re okay Jennifer, you’re okay. I promise. You’re not dirty, you’re gorgeous, you’re not disgusting, you’re so amazing and I am so sorry that some man-caused you to feel that. That you have to feel that at all. God… I don’t know him or anything but…. But he loves you blondie. He does, so just fuck the pastors. Love who the fuck ever because you were born that way. You hear me?” She nods and sniffles “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sobbing in your bed. I’m sorry. You’re pretty too. God, you’re gorgeous.” She says too quickly, blushing as she realizes her confession “You’re gorgeous too JJ. Let's get some rest, we can talk about this in the morning, don’t worry about whatever you said that made you get all quiet and we can talk later.” Emily says softly, a smile playing on her features. JJ nods with a small smile, turning so her back is to Emily. She pulls the blanket up to her chin and almost allows herself to relax into Emily’s touch, but she doesn’t and she keep herself close to the wall. Penelope and Derek decided just to stay at Penelope’s house, her aunt wasn’t home and they just wanted to be with each other. They lay in her bed and she rests her head on his chest, grounding herself with the rise and fall of his breaths. Derek carts his hand through her hair silently as he notices her tensity. After a few moments, he finally speaks up “Baby girl, what’s wrong?” He asked softly She takes in a shaky breath, “I just… I just miss my mom… and my dad.” She admits softly, her voice barely above a whisper as if she was afraid of the confession. She had been pondering over the thoughts. She wanted to tell her mom about EVERYTHING, have a girl talk. Just be her daughter again. He nods and kisses her forehead, “I’m sorry baby, I know it’s hard but when I start missing my pops a lot I talk to him. I talk to him about you, school, football… everything really. I know he can hear me, and I can feel him with me. Sometimes it’s a dream, but sometimes it’s just a calm that washes over me.” Penelope nods and sniffles, “I know… I’m sorry for crying all over you. You’re such a good boyfriend, thank you for understanding me and my issues. Thank you” She whispers into his chest Derek nods and kisses her head again “It is my greatest pleasure Penny. You’re so strong my love” and with those words, the couple cuddled and fell asleep arm in arm, limbs tangled in a comforting way as they breathe each other's oxygen, the stress of the world away while they’re in each other's arms.

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 25: Thoughts on The 100 2x10

Twenty years later, I return with Ep. 2x10: Survival of the Fittest.

This commentary is NOT pro-Grounder or pro-Lxa.

I last watched in January and I have literally no idea what’s happening lol. I mean, I do because I’ve seen the whole thing enough times but still. Like specifically.

One of Netflix’s warnings for this show is “fear.” I CANNOT.

The idea of Arkers and Grounders perhaps meeting in certain ways pre-canon is interesting (the suicide by earth idea) but then the story just becomes one of yet more Mindless Grounder Brutality and I get bored. Like I’m sorry this is truly the most boring civilization ever imagined and I cannot believe we’ve been asked to care more and more about them with each passing season.

The lost possibilities of Bellamy & Lincoln. Also of Lincoln, in general? Someone who tried so hard to be something other than what he was taught to be.

Also, his story is basically confirmation that he became obsessed with Octavia because he was illegally spying on the cool Sky People and then ran into a Pretty Girl and that was just that on that.

The underworld. They’re not subtle.

Mmm-mmm my favorite set. Indra looking badass as per usual, giving her warriors a pep talk. And Kane with friendship heart eyes like “I’ve found my new BFF!!” (This is truly how I read the expression on his face.)

“Only our Guards are armed here.” Lol okay but does anyone really believe Indra travels with ONLY two knives on her person?

I’m generally a Jaha apologist but I cannot stand him in S2, primarily because his whole thing is based around him caring about “the Grounders’ land” in this realllllly awkward native peoples parallel, as if this was supposed to make him sympathetic when (1) there is literally no evidence at all that the Sky People occupied Grounder land in s1 or are occupying it in s2 and (2) he is advocating abandoning the main characters to death, the main characters are a bunch of teens, and literally no one calls him out on how disgusting that is. The only thing he’s right about is that the Grounders are terrible and Kane’s boner for them is ridiculous, but still.

Is there a Grounder named Michael? Lol.

“My shock baton’s got your back” probably isn’t intended as wildly inappropriate adult man hits on teen girl flirting but........ I dunno how else to read it.

Murphy > Grounder I said what I said.

That woman in the background of the fight with her eyes wide like ‘oh heavens! oh my!’

Kane’s here trying to be like stern dad keeps his kids in line for the sake of peace and Indra and the rest of the Grounders are like... fucking crickets. So ridiculous. So immature. Keep your own bitches in line Indra.

I completely forgot that Mountain had multiple airlocks and thus just, you know, opening the doors wouldn’t do anything. Makes sense, I’m just dumb.

Clarke > All Grounders and seeing her show respect to Lxa or anyone, even if it makes sense in context, just irritates me.

Clarke: *gives several very good reasons why sending large numbers of Grounder warriors into the Mountain will do literally nothing but lead to more casualties.* Grounders: *raaaaa I hate being told no, let’s just attack!!! ATTACK!*

“He shouldn’t have attacked my ship.” Honestly I think part of why S2 Clarke is my favorite is because I really identify with her, surrounded by idiots, just doing her best to get fucking anything done and done right.

“You’re very brave under the Commander’s protection, aren’t you?” DUDE. DUDE. You literally just reminded everyone that this five foot tall blonde teenage girl roasted your brother and several hundred others alive and you think the commander’s protection is why she’s brave? She’s brave because she’s smarter and tougher than you, duh.

And after all this Lxa’s like “Quint’s right.” Um he’s truly not though??? Ugh, the stupidity irritates me.

“Hook up” for “alliance” I am DYING.

Kane is absolutely the worst faux-father figure. Encouraging Octavia to get her ass kicked by idiots who are training for no reason...

And then this bitch (Quint) tries to kill Clarke as if that were even remotely a good idea... what if you were successful? What then? Lxa would torture you for like 100 days and then kill you start thinking things through.

I miss Byrne in that she was annoying but at least had, like, a perspective and purpose, BUT that was a cool death scene. A good sort of shock.

“Work detail” is such an odd phrase, like... one would think....everyone works?? It seems to be code for “mop some floors.”

I’m gonna be honest, the search for the CoL was the clear weak point of S2 for me but Murphy & Jaha are an interesting pair to share screen time.

Murphy: hesitates to accompany Jaha to Wells’s grave until he sees the possibility of getting a firearm of his own, then falls in love. You had me at ‘can hold a gun!’

They really are wasting bullets. Those are...kinda a finite resource? Also you’d think that these literal members of the Guard (based on their jackets) already know how guns work.

Kane really is devoted to this I’m Your Daddy thing, huh? “Look at me, shooting this gun, I’m so cool--don’t you want to be cool like me? I can teach you.” (And O in the back sharpening her sword like she knows what she’s doing.)

I don’t get how Mount Weather could influence Grounder legend given that they’ve known about Grounders for less than a generation, and they tend to destroy anyone they capture, not, like, release them back into their villages? Cool idea though!

Octavia, the secret weapon, exploitable by both sides because she knows both sides, is an interesting path SOMEone at SOME point should have gone down, or should go down, like in fic. Just putting that out there.

See, literally, what did I say? Quint does not even succeed in killing Clarke and he’s sentenced to death in 0.5 seconds. You gotta think ahead man!!

Lol I’ve seen this how many times and only now am I hearing that the word “Pauna” (which I’ve also been mispronouncing) is in fact in the episode. I always thought that was extra-canonical.

Pretty hilarious that Clarke, attempting to run away from the Irradiated Gorilla, leads everyone right to...the home of the Irradiated Gorilla. AKA the National Zoo.

Look the only thing I really have to say about this entire story line is that it’s pretty clearly only here to make sure Clarke, the main character, has something to do in an episode that isn’t really about her, like it’s straight up Filler just like the Bellamy Scales a Cliff episode, and it’s dorky and laughable and awful CGI and I get that--but I still maintain that the concept of “animals from the zoo survived and are still out there in mutated form” is cool and we should do more with that, as a fandom.

Also....moose? How’d that get there??

“Leave me” Lexa says, as if it weren’t incredibly easy for Clarke to save her. Like...why do you give up so easy all the time??? Grounders are weak. The slightest thing happens and it’s either “Time to kill you” or “Time to die.”

Murphy, unimpressed by the beauty of Earth.

Completely forgot that elder Murphy’s name was Alex. Put that one in my back pocket.

This Jaha and Murphy scene at Wells’s grave is the best of a fairly lackluster episode. “Clarke sugar-coated it for you, didn’t she?” “Good can come out of even the darkest acts, John.” “Camp You is that way.”

(Also...when did Clarke get a chance to talk to him? Was this over video in S1? I guess it must have been since she’s been busy in S2.)

When Kane lets Octavia fight the Grounder he is 100% doing it for himself and the alliance. He’s using her.

And somehow this is the ONLY time Octavia lost a fight. I wish the show had acknowledged more, as it does here, that tenacity is a great virtue but it’s not the only virtue. Also the Grounders truly are canonically terrible at what they do.

My favorite O characterization is when she’s just a blank slate for people to write on because she never was able to create a personality for herself. Because I think it’s the most true to her backstory, which seems only intermittently relevant imho. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” “I would like to be stronger,” hence “I shall get beaten up.”

*Sings* Lxa is a terrible leaaaaaader!!! Getting all up in Clarke’s head trying to tell her that caring about not constantly killing people is..............somehow.....................bad??? Lol.

This scene here where Lxa provides the groundwork for the Ai-in-Commanders thing, is probably where the show began its downhill slide. Don’t get me wrong, I love S2 as a whole--most of this nonsense didn’t really come up until S3--and S3 itself has good ideas, including the AI thing, but they were just realized so badly...... Makes me sad. We could have had so much more!

“Don’t be afraid, death is not the end,” is like......the least helpful thing to say. Yet again, Clarke uses her brain and figures out an actual plan, as opposed to “die heroically” which is really all the supposedly genius Lxa ever has. “Die heroically” or “Save own ass at others’ expense I said what I said.

I’m so salty.... I can’t even believe myself.

I enjoy the Indra and Octavia relationship.

So I’m going to say that I always assumed, and still basically assume, that the reason Indra chose Octavia for a second is that she really did think there was something special in her when she saw her fight. Like that’s all. Just like she would with a Grounder kid who wanted to be a warrior. But I think it would be interesting if she’s thinking just as Kane is: that Octavia is a useful bridge between the two peoples, that perhaps, she could get something from her. (Counter spy?)

“No one gives anything without expecting something in return.” Early John Murphy philosophy synthesized.

What the fuck is Jaha eating? Little...food pellets.

It’s true that he’s being cynical but it’s ALSO true that Jaha is withholding important truth from him and ultimately, arguably, using him.

“You didn’t give a damn about us. You still don’t, that’s why you’re not fighting for this kids in Mount Weather.” SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. THANK YOU MURPHY. MVP of this ep.

“I was pardoned, slate wiped clean, I’m still treated like dirt.” The treatise of the Ark AU thanks.

More patented Murphy nose rubbing.

Murphy and Raven, both pulled in, to some degree, by cultists.

Murphy and Octavia, both manipulated by more powerful adults for their own ends.

Jaha is so... he has all these peace and love, everyone is accepted, nice ideas and beliefs and faith, but he also does not care at all about sacrificing a few here and there. He may remember Alex Murphy but he doesn’t really care, he’s not really haunted. Remembering is like a courtesy. He may miss his son but he still ultimately believes, even hearing how utterly stupid Wells’s death was, that it was worth it for some unknown greater good. And he’s willing to give up on people who aren’t even dead yet, just write them off as an acceptable loss, even though they’re his people and a subset of his people to whom he owes a particular debt, and still consider this sacrifice, not even yet made, to be worth it for this bigger plan. There are a lot of things I respect about Jaha as a leader, and surely in a universe of terrible leaders he is not the worst, but this is his fatal flaw, what keeps him from being good. Real leaders do accept that losses will happen, as Lxa says, but they don’t seek out losses and they don’t merely catalogue them and then move on. They feel them, and accept responsibility for them, and carry them forward.

No I am not talking about Clarke, although within this universe, she comes closer to the ideal.

The story line with Lincoln, Bellamy, and the Reapers is like nightmare fuel if I think about it too much.

Indra, with the tiniest slice of meat possible on a huge plate: “Eat! Get strong!”

Kane, trying to be sexy and seduce a new friend: “Thank you.”

Kane and Octavia are talking and Indra is just in the background, sitting on a tree stump, brooding in the most photogenic way possible, very ‘google earth, always taking pictures’ of her.

I’m sorry but I can’t stop seeing Kane’s whole demeanor in literally every scene of this episode as like “Attempted Daddy.” Not in the paternal sense.

“You’re asking me to be a spy?” / “I’m asking you.......... yes, to be a spy, that’s exactly it.”

Objectively ridiculous for Octavia to think the Grounders are her people but, I get it, she’s desperate for people of some sort.

“There’s a million ways to die out there” should have been the title of the series. More accurate than “The 100.”

“If it’s not your time than nothing can kill you” IS everything infuriating about Jaha in one line. Saying ‘it’s just what was meant to be’ is a pretty easy way to avoid responsibility for anything, ever, and it’s extra sketchy from someone who, as a leader, knows or should know that his actions have consequences for other people, sometimes life or death ones. I mean...everyone but he and Murphy did die searching for the CoL.

We REALLY need more fic that utilizes Jaha as a weird guru type.

“You wanna stop being treated like a criminal then you have to stop thinking that that’s all you are.”

Here, Clarke comes up with yet another smart idea. How many is that in one episode? She’s too smart, guys, just too smart.

That said, the first time I watched this ep with my mom (the second time in general for me, the first time for her), when Clarke explained her ‘release the Grounder prisoners’ plan, she was like “...Duh? I thought that was already the plan? Isn’t that what Bellamy was going in there to do?” Basically most people on the show < Clarke < my mom.

The tragedy of Lincoln’s addiction story line really does get to me.

I’m a little insulted on Bellamy’s behalf that he was marked Harvest lol.

I just watched the episode and I heard them explain their plan... but I still don’t really see how it was going to work. Like just... cause chaos and let Bellamy run inside? Kind of feel like someone would have caught him at some point, and also--doesn’t that run a significant chance of getting Lincoln killed? Oh well. It all works out eventually. Mostly.

Anyway, not the greatest episode, but it had its moments. The Jaha and Murphy story line was good, and I actually enjoyed the Octavia, Kane, and Indra stuff more than I thought or remembered. But it’s always kind of a bummer when one or both mains get lackluster filler plots--and in this case it really was both--I mean, Bellamy’s was important, but it wasn’t very long. And none of my faves: no Mount Weather, no Jasper and Monty, no Raven.

It still fucks me up that Liz Phair wrote music for this show.

[tanadrin]

Reordberend

(part 23 of 30; first; previous; next)

Katherine didn’t see Leofe at all for the next three days, but at this point it didn’t matter. They were going to get all the alone time they could stand on the trip to Ross Island. Instead, she spent the time reading, looking over the maps the People had of the coast, trying to work out for herself what the best route to take might be. It was about fifty kilometers as the penguin waddles (or something), which, in any other part of the world, over good terrain and in warm weather you could walk in a day, if you really had to. You could do it in two, if you took a leisurely pace. But it would be dark the whole way, the second half of the trip would be over open ice, and the last leg would be up the side of an enormous volcano; in short, not good terrain. Not at all. It might take them four or five each way, provided they had no major mishaps.

Fine. Katherine did want to see the Fane that Aelfric had told her about. But as the departure date grew closer, she was getting more and more uneasy, and not about the journey with Leofe. She wanted to talk to Wulf before she left, about the noises in the hills.

Wulf wasn’t an easy man to get alone, though; he was, in fact, probably one of the busiest people in the village, despite his age. There were always people at his house, asking him his opinion on this or that, and when he wasn’t there, he was in the village hall making small-talk with the other elders, or looking after his grandchildren while their parents were occupied. Finally, the morning before they were due to leave, Katherine managed to buttonhole him on his way to the village hall.

“Wulf, can I talk to you for a second?”

He seemed not at all surprised by the request, and ushered Katherine into his small, one-room house, motioning for her to sit near the fire.

“If this is about the journey to the Fane, I still think you’re the only one to go with Leofe.”

“No, actually. You’re right about that. This is about something else.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“It’s about, hmm. Well. I’m not sure how to explain. You were saying the other night, people have been hearing noises from in the hills? Seeing lights?”

“The lights were out beyond the shore. Perhaps just passing vessels, in the sea or air.”

“Yes, but those have gotten more and more frequent over the years, haven’t they?”

Wulf thought about this for a moment, and nodded. “I suppose so. Of late, they are a little more frequent. And they were rare indeed in my father and grandfather’s day.”

“That’s what I want to talk to you about. About the outsiders getting closer every year.”

“We have avoided outsiders well enough in our valleys. Most outsiders,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “We will continue to do so. We value our separation.”

“I understand that. But I am worried… I am afraid that you will not be able to remain apart forever.”

“Explain.”

“I have been thinking long and hard lately, about many things. About the history of your people, which Aelfric has taught me. About the things you value, as he has does his best to explain to me. I have been thinking about what I know of the history of my own people, which is perhaps less than it should be. And what I know about the history of this continent, of Antarctica. Wulf, I am afraid for you. For all of you. I am afraid that one day the outsiders will come to the Stone Valleys, and they will not leave even when you show them they are not wanted. I am afraid they will come here, not seeking to understand you, as I an others have done in the past, but only because they wish to take the things in the land and in the hills.”

A dark look began to grow on Wulf’s face. “Our people are not without their hardness, Katherine. If someone were to make war on us, we would defend ourselves.”

“I believe you,” she said. “I just don’t believe it would matter. You are few, and you are strong, but the world outside is huge. If it decides it wants the Valleys more than the People, I don’t think you will be able to stop them.”

“What! Do you doubt our commitment to our land?”

“No! I don’t meant that.”

“”Do you doubt we would die to defend what we have built here, since our ancestors first came to these valleys?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then how can you--how can you come into my house, and speak of such thing?” Wulf seemed really angry now, and Katherine knew she had put her foot in it. She tried desperately to calm him down.

“Wulf, I don’t mean that your people would deserve such a fate! I don’t want that to happen. I just want--I just want you to understand that there may come a day when you can’t remain apart any longer. That you may have to choose between preserving your customs just as they are, and preserving any of your customs at all. And I would rather see that happen on your terms, in a way you control, than on the terms of people who do not understand you, and who do not have your interests at heart.”

“Katherine, Katherine!” Wulf paced the room, deeply agitated. “I thought he was wrong about you. I thought Aelfric was wrong about you! I still hope he is. He said to me, she will warn us of terrible things, she will do her best to bring alien influences among us! She does not understand us! Were we wrong to let you stay among us? Were we wrong to save your life?”

Katherine was really frustrated now, and tears were starting to form in her eyes. Jesus. Why wouldn’t Wulf listen?

“No!” Katherine said, springing up from her seat. “I don’t want these things to happen!”

“Then why speak of them? Why bring them up at all?”

Clearly, there was some gulf of understanding here that she could not bridge.

“Listen, child,” Wulf said, drawing close to her. “You do not understand us. You do not understand our ways. You are not one of us, and you could not possibly be. Our laws of hospitality are sacrosanct, and it is fortunate for you, but if I hear of you spreading such dangerous talk among our villages, there will be terrible consequences for you. Do you understand me?”

Not knowing what else to do, Katherine nodded.

Wulf shut his eyes tightly, inhaled deeply, and slowly exhaled.

“Good,” he said. “Then consider the matter settled. We won’t speak of it again. Good day, Katherine.”

“Y-you too,” Katherine stammered, and left Wulf’s house. She slunk back to the village hall, and to her room, buried her face in her pillow and let out a long, quiet scream of frustration.

* * *

If Wulf didn’t want to hear her warnings, she couldn’t imagine who else did. Well, she was just lucky she hadn’t tried to talk to Aelfric or somebody about this. She had thought that Wulf was on Team Katherine, but she supposed her mistake there was assuming there was a Team Katherine. There was only Team Us, and Team Them, and when push came to shove, Katherine was always going to be on Team Them.

Ugh. And starting tomorrow she was going to spend the next week and a half with somebody who was really annoyed with her. That was just great. A wave of homesickness washed over Katherine stronger than any she’d felt in months. She would jump naked into the polar ocean right now for a hot cup of coffee, her own bed, her own cat, and a conversation in the modern English language. Heck, she would kill to be able to take a real hot shower, and go outside for five minutes without having to worry about frostbite. Why the fuck had she come here? Why why why why why--

“Katherine?”

She pulled her head out of her pillow and looked up. Hraefn was standing at the door.

“Oh. Hey, Hraefn. How are you?”

“I heard you were leaving tomorrow for a few days. Going to the Fane?”

“Yes. The one on Ross Island.”

“Ross Island? Oh, yes, the island of giants. I wanted to show you something before you left. Come on.”

Katherine got up and followed Hraefn out into the hall. She picked something up off a bench, and showed it to Katherine. It was a shining, round piece of metal that had been polished to a mirror finish.

“Your shield!”

“Yes. It turned out well, don’t you think?”

“It’s… it’s gorgeous.”

The shield was half again as broad as Katherine’s forearm, its edge engraved with a fine serpentine design that was so regular it looked like it had been done by machine. In the center was the raised image of a stag’s head, a pretty faithful copy of a design Katherine had seen in some of the People’s books. Hraefn was a skilled artist; you wouldn’t know it had been done by somebody who had never seen a stag in their life.

“Here, hold it.”

Hraefn gave it to Katherine. There was a strap for her to slip her arm into, and a grip to hold on to; the whole thing was astonishingly light.

“It hardly weighs anything.”

“It’s strong, too. Stronger than steel, maybe. I don’t know where you outlanders find your metals, but it’s good material.”

Katherine imagined herself for a moment a medieval shieldmaiden, charging into battle. She laughed. “I could almost see myself fighting with it.”

Hraefn laughed, too. “I don’t think you’re much of a warrior, Katherine, sorry.”

“You’re right.” She gave Hraefn the shield back. “Better keep it then. What will you do with it?”

“Hang it up somewhere. It’ll give me something to brag about when people from other villages come for a visit. Maybe over the door?”

Katherine nodded. “It would look good there. It’ll catch the light from the fire.”

“That’s just what I was thinking. Speaking of light, I also finished this.”

Hraefn took a small object from her pocket, and handed it over to Katherine. Katherine held it up for a moment, then gasped in shock.

It was her jewel--but Hraefn had completely transformed it. The shining glasslike part in the middle had been shaped like a sea-bird in flight. But it dazzled with light, catching even the slightest flicker from the fires and breaking it into a thousand fragments. The silver piece around the outside had been turned into a kind of halo, like rays of sunlight.

“When I heated it, the center part could be worked almost like clay, and the fire filled it with many colors as the filaments inside broke down. If you look closely, there’s a flaw in the center I couldn’t eliminate, not without breaking it open, and I didn’t want to do that. It really is a remarkable piece of material. If you ever find anything else like it, don’t hesitate to bring it to me.”

“It’s beautiful, Hraefn. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Thank you. I hope you find a good place for it.”

Katherine smiled. “I have a couple of thoughts.”

* * *

Katherine felt a little better after that, but only a little. That evening, she saw Leofe in the village, but she was still scrupulously avoiding her, even though they were going to be stuck together for the next ten days at least. Oh well. Nothing for it at the moment, she thought to herself. After dinner, she turned in early. But anxious thoughts crowded out sleep, and when she finally did drop off, she had strange dreams of Lucy Spencer coming down from the hills to tell Katherine what she really thought of her. She woke early, bleary-eyed and anxious. When she came out of her room, Leofe was already standing in the hall, gnawing on a piece of whale jerky. She tossed a lantern-staff to Katherine.

“Come on,” she said curtly. “It’s time to go.”

[tobashiarg-blog-archive]

Turns Out Being a Super Hero Is Actually Really Gay! - Chapter 5

Hey kiddos, I’m back! Your main bitch here has NOT been in the best mental health as of late :) My boss at my current job is driving me up a wall and I may need to find a new one since he might not be able to pay me for the hours I do, my depression is kicking my ass, and my dog was going to have puppies but then had a miscarriage and it turns out she can never have puppies again or risk dying next time. Soooo yeah, I’m probably not okay, but that’s okay because we are back with another chapter of your fav spiderbois! Again, huge thanks to @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil for their wonderful au! Also shout out to @khadij-al-kubra for helping me appropriately write Logan and his family! They gave me some awesome advice and insight into Muslim culture and you should totally check out their blog and read their Thomas In Wonderland fan fic, it’s super cute! Anyways, now with that out of the way please ENJOY!!!!

Master Post

Beginning

Previous Chapter

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The boys collapsed on to the couch in Thomas’s living room in one heaping pile of uncoordinated limbs and groans. They were absolutely exhausted, aching joints and sore muscles which they were careful to move slowly. Thomas, meanwhile, leaned over the back of the couch, suit still intact but mask off, smiling amusingly at the tired teens.

“So, third day of training went well,” Thomas snickered, the boys groaned in response causing the older man to laugh again “yeah, you’ll get use to it eventually. Just because your muscles are stronger doesn’t mean they aren’t prone to getting tired when worked out.”

“I take back every nice thing I said about you,” Virgil murmured, face down across the couch “you are the absolute worst and I’d rather take Ms. Green’s Saturday day classes.”

“I ache all over.” Patton whined.

“The body takes about a week or so to get used to routine work out,” Logan groaned out “but as you do you adjust it so that you don’t get used to it and extend your bodies limit. But even so this training fucking sucks!”

“Agreed,” Roman grunted “I have so many regrets.”

“Toughen up boys, you all wanted to be super heroes,” Thomas tutted “besides, we haven’t even gotten to the hard parts yet.”

“The worst!” Virgil hissed “Terrible mentor! Zero out of ten!”

Thomas chuckled, “If it helps, you all are doing great. I’m really proud off all the effort and hard work you’ve been putting into this. Now, weather that’ll stay throughout the entirety of your training is to be determined but I have faith in you all.”

The boys stayed quiet for a long while, faces flushed red though it wasn’t from the intense work out they just had, mostly. They’ve all been doing their damnedest to show how serious they were about becoming heroes, wanting to prove to Thomas and everyone else that they weren’t messing around. And even if it’s only been a short while it was nice to know that Thomas had faith in them and wanted to see them succeed. It was pretty fucking sweet to know that your hero and now mentor had your back.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too sappy, you still suck.” Virgil grumbled, but the blush on his cheeks plus the smile he kept trying to hide told a different tale.

“Oh well, if I’m the worse them I guess you guys wouldn’t be interested in any of the ‘after work out’ sandwiches I made,” Thomas said innocently, turning to walk towards the kitchen “plus, a banana and strawberry milkshake but it’s probably not that great cause, you know, I’m the worst and all.”

The boys were silent once more before suddenly jumping off the couch and racing after Thomas towards the kitchen.

“Best teacher! Twelve out of ten gold stars!” Virgil called out.

“I’m not all that achey!” Patton said, a slight wince in his step.

“Well really the body shouldn’t ever get used to a work out too much,” Logan informed “and the routines you’ve set up for us will really balance out our bodies.”

“Best decision of my life! Absolutely, no regrets!” Roman cheered.

---

The boys lazed around in the kitchen, chatting as they ate their mountain of sandwiches and delicious milkshakes and Thomas couldn’t help but feel kind of domestic. He didn’t usually have much company besides Joan and Talyn and even then, he was sometimes too busy to properly hang out with them. But they understood, even before they found out about him being Rainbow Weaver Joan and Talyn were always supporting him and Thomas will forever be grateful for that. But there was just something about having a room full of people, chatting and laughing, with a mutual understanding of each other’s situation that made Thomas feel…less alone.

‘Welcome to parenthood fucker!’ A voice in Thomas’s head, that suspiciously sounded a lot like Joan, cackled.

“Shush.” Thomas mumbled quietly as he shook his head to silence the voice before returning to the conversation at hand.

“The whole movie is basically a promotion on Stockholm syndrome!” Virgil exclaimed.

“She stayed on her own accord so she could save her father!” Roman shot back “Plus he did let her go after she went into the forbidden room only SAVE her when she was in danger! She could have left after he passed out but no, she went back again WILLINGLY to nurse him back to health!”

Roman and Virgil had been arguing about the story line of various Disney movies for the better part of an hour now. Thomas, Logan, and Patton sat as the audience, occasionally throwing in their own opinions but staying out of it for the most part. Even if the debate seemed intense it kind of looked like the two were having fun in their own strange way. Currently they were discussing the elements of Beauty and the Beast.

“Yeah, because it’s either get mauled to death and freeze in the woods or be trapped in solitude!” Virgil quipped “She just chose the better half of a bad situation that would provide her with food and shelter!”

“But they fell in love!” Roman cried.

“Yes, because a prisoner falling in love with their capture is totally healthy and cool if you add bunch of dancing silverware!” Virgil snarked.

“Ugh! You are impossible!” Roman groaned “How is it you claim to like Disney but have all this bad to say about it?”

“Because it’s literally the whole reason I like it in the first place,” Virgil snorted “there are so many dark elements to it that people over look. Especially if you read the original fairy tales that inspired them.”

“You just want to make everything dark and edgy,” Roman grumbled “not everything has to have a dark side.”

“Everything does have a dark side, Sir Sing-A-Lot.” Virgil smirked.

“Ha, I like that nickname and I’m gunna use it!” Roman huffed.

“Not that it isn’t great that you two are getting along,” Logan said sarcastically, finishing his milkshake and grabbing another sandwich “but me and Virgil got to get going or we’ll be late for dinner and I would rather not endure my mother’s wrath.”

“Oh shit, that’s today?” Virgil asked as he began to pack his stuff.

“What’s today?” Patton asked curiously.

“My brother is coming over for dinner,” Logan replied dryly “we haven’t seen him in a while.”

“You don’t seem too excited.” Thomas said.

“It’s not that I’m not excited to see him after so long it’s just…” Logan paused, fidgeting over uncomfortable feel of emotion running through his brain, wondering if he should even bother discussing this any further. Eventually, he chose not to, “Nothing, it’s just, you know, tired from all the training and…stuff.”

Thomas knew there was something more to the whole situation, as did Patton and Roman, but out of politeness nobody said anything. They instead looked to Virgil to see if he could clue them in on something, they were missing but the purple clad teen only shrugged and shook his head. So, they were quick to change the subject.

“What are the rest of you doing this evening?” Thomas asked.

“My brother Alex said he was gunna take me and Georgie, my other brother, out somewhere,” Patton sighed, rolling his eyes “that’s usually code for he wants to impress a girl by showing what a ‘cool and caring’ brother he is and will fail miserably. But hey, I’m not gunna look a gift horse in the mouth, usually he takes us to cool places.”

“My mom and sister are working late again so I have to pick up and babysit the twins,” Roman replied before suddenly remembering something and turned to Virgil “Virgil what are you doing?”

Virgil paused, giving Roman an odd look, “Uh, besides dinner at the Quinn’s, nothing much afterwards. Why?”

“Good, because you need to come over so we can finish up that stupid essay due on Monday and I can’t have you over on Sunday because we have church and a baby shower to go to.” Roman said as he casually munched on another sandwich.

“Shit, that’s still a thing,” Virgil groaned, looking to Logan for help “have you even started on that?”

“Oh yes, me and Patton finished it recently.” Logan replied coolly.

“We video chatted since me and Lo had other stuff to attend to and couldn’t come over to each other’s houses.” Patton added.

“That’s why you flaked out on movie night yesterday,” Roman said in a moment of realization before pouting “you chose a study date with your boyfriend over me?”

Logan choked on the sandwich he was still munching on whole Patton squeaked and flushed a dark red. Virgil snickered as he went over to pat Logan’s back until he stopped coughing while Patton blubbered and waved his hands around, shrieking how “it’s not like that Roman, you know that! We just- we study a-and – we aren’t, uh…” Logan was soon to join in once he got the proper amount of air in his lungs, face just and red and sputtering just as embarrassed.

Thomas bit back a laugh while Roman and Virgil, the little shits, out right smirked in that smug way all best friends do when they see each other suffering. It was painfully obvious that Logan and Patton a “thing” for each other but were just too shy and awkward to acknowledge it. It was easy to push their buttons and was also extremely entertaining to watch. Still, Thomas was merciful and kindly decided to redirect the subject again.

“Well, while you kids enjoy your evening plans, I’ll be out on patrol,” Thomas said, stretching out a bit “so if you need to contact me and I’m a little slow to respond you’ll know why.”

“Might pass by that ally way again while patrolling?” Virgil asked innocently, though the devious smirk on his face was a dead giveaway “You know, just to make sure there’s no one in danger?”

“Yeah, like a certain cute barista?” Roman snickered.

Thomas’s cheeks colored pink and he regretted his previous act of mercy because those little vipers turn head so fast it’s as if they planed it. “You know we could just spend a whole day doing laps next training day?”

“We could, but that still wouldn’t erase the fact that you’re too gay to function around attractive males.” Logan smirked.

“Aw, but wouldn’t it be cute if they went out on a date?” Patton gushed, his comment was genuine but that didn’t make Thomas any less flustered. “You should try and talk to him, like for reals. Maybe ask him out on a cute little coffee date?”

“I am like flashing back to so many Coffee Shop Au fics it’s not even funny,” Virgil laughed breathlessly “anyway, Roman, text me your address and I’ll swing by after dinner. See ya gays later.”

“Don’t you mean guys?” Patton asked.

“I know what I said.” Virgil replied as he and Logan made their way out of the kitchen.

Roman shrugged, “He isn’t wrong though.”

---

They arrived at their apartment building in record time, Vigil having informed his parents before hand that he’d be at Logan’s for dinner before heading out to Roman’s to finish up the essay. Though at the moment neither of them were in any hurry to get to where they were going, taking a dramatically long time climbing up the stairs instead of taking the elevator.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to tag along with you and Morgan after dinner?” Virgil asked for the tenth time that day “I really, really don’t mind flaking out on Roman.”

“As much as I would like that you really do need to finish your essay,” Logan sighed “it counts as a major grade for your science class.”

It wasn’t that Logan’s brother was a bad guy, on the contrary he was actually really cool and easy to talk too, but the constant comparisons made between them by their parents made Logan kind of resent him, just a little. Don’t get him wrong, Logan loved his older brother and wouldn’t mind spending more time with him but as of late the closer Logan got to graduation the more his parents…“pushed” him to follow in his brother’s footsteps. He couldn’t even mention about applying for colleges around them because then they’d go into a spiral about all the colleges Morgan got excepted to at his age and how he should apply for those and go for this program that Morgan did and maybe he could study abroad like Morgan did. It’s not like they did it on purpose, Logan knew his parents loved him and were proud of him, they only wanted what’s best for him so that he could succeed and gain opportunities that they couldn’t when they were young. But sometimes it just…got a bit much.

“Come on, let me procrastinate,” Virgil whined, though it was more to make Logan laugh then being serious “I don’t want to spend my whole afternoon with Roman.”

“It’s not my fault the teachers chose him as a partner for you,” Logan chuckled “at least he’s willing to do work and not slack off like others. Plus, better him then Dolion.”

“Mmh, true,” Virgil grumbled “but stiiiill! The only reason you’re not complaining is because you got to be all buddy-buddy with Patton and make heart eyes at him all day.”

As expected, Logan was a blushing, sputtering mess, “I-it’s not like that!”

Vigil continued to tease his best friend all the way up until their destination, then everything got tense again. Logan took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as he went over the most likely scenarios that would happen during dinner, none of them were good. But Logan just had to get through dinner then an awkward night out with his brother and after he could just sulk in his room the rest of the night. His train of thought was broken by a gentle hand squeezing his own and he turned to find Virgil smiling at him sympathetically.

“I got your back if that means anything?” Virgil shrugged.

Logan gave him a tiny, appreciative smile, “It means everything.”

“Great,” Virgil turned towards the awaiting door in front of them “let’s face Hades together.”

“You know, Hades wasn’t an evil god,” Logan began to explain “he was just god of the Underworld and-”

“You know what I mean.” Virgil scoffed as he opened the door to Logan’s apartment.

Inside, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were in the living room enthusiastically entertaining their special guest of the evening, Morgan Quinn. Looks wise, Morgan and Logan looked pretty similar, tall lanky build, neat trimmed hair, and thick square glasses. Personality wise, they couldn’t be more different, Logan was always the more serious of the two while Morgan tended to be the more goofy, social butterfly. Despite being polar opposites, they got along pretty great, Morgan was the one that introduced Logan to his love of space and it was that mutual love that formed an incredible bond between them. They’d always go up to the roof and look at the stars through their telescope, read up on NASA’s latest discoveries and plans, or just binge watch a bunch of space documentaries. But lately, Logan’s been looking at the stars less, it’s been moths since he’s looked into what NASA’s been up too, and he’s kind of been avoiding space documentaries all together if he’s honest.

“Lolo!” Morgan exclaimed excitedly as he rushed to hug his brother “Salaam alekum!”

“Waalekum salaam,” Logan replied, a small smile appearing on his face despite his internal conflict “welcome home.”

“Geez, you sprouted up like a bean stalk,” Morgan laughed as he pulled back to look over his little brother “what are Ummi and Babá feeding you?”

“All required nutrition regiments,” Logan quipped “though I can only assume your stunted growth is due to the college dietary restrictions of coffee and instant noodles.”

“Quit exposing me,” Morgan chided playfully before turning to Virgil with his arms open wide for a hug “Virge, salaam alekum!”

“Waalekum salaam,” Virgil replied, tentatively accepting the hug though Morgan knew he wasn’t one for physical affection so he didn’t linger long “how you’ve been?”

“I’ve been great, tired but great,” Morgan chuckled “and you still haven’t grown? I though Ummi was stuffing you down with the same thing she’s been feeding Logan?”

“Gunna take a lot more then forced self-care to make me into a functioning human being.” Virgil smirked.

“Speaking of eating,” Mrs. Quinn cut through the chatter as she made her way to the kitchen “I made your favorite Morgan, kufta and rice. Shall we eat now?”

“Please,” Morgan half begged “I’m a starving college student.”

They family plus Virgil gathered around the table, filling their plates with the lamb meat balls, rice and side salad put in place. It was all pleasantries at first, catching up on each other’s lives and reminiscing on the past and how it compared to the present. It was nice, laughter and chatter filled the room as other’s ate to think of more conversation topics.

Then Mrs. Quinn asked, “How has your internship been at Oscorps?”

And so it began.

“Oh, it’s been amazing,” Morgan gushed “I’ve been learning so much about bioengineering and genetic research. There’s been so many advances made in the medical field and it’s just fascinating to see the behind the scenes of everything.”

“You know, Logan and Virgil went on a field trip to Oscorps this week,” Mr. Quinn said, unknown to him that Logan’s eye began to twitch waiting for the inevitable “I would have hoped they’d see you there in action.”

“Oh no, I’m usually in the back with the researchers,” Morgan explained before looking to his brother “but if you would have texted me earlier, I could have given you and Virge a secret tour of the latest project we’ve been working on. It’s awesome, you would have loved it Lo.”

“I, um…” Logan began, fiddling with the food on his plate.

“Logan, I thought we told you to call your brother and ask about the internship requirements?” Mrs. Quinn asked.

“I forgot.” Logan said lamely.

“Babá you can’t afford to be forgetting these things,” Mr. Quinn scolded gently “you have to build up a good college resume and a company like Oscorps will get you accepted into any school you want.”

“Yeah, I know.” Logan mumbled, having stopped eating all together and was now just staring at his plate.

“Well, he’s still just a junior in high school,” Morgan cut in before more could be said by either of his parents “an internship like this is not easy to come by. Some people are on a waiting list for years and even then, they might not get accepted.”

“But didn’t they offer you a position when you were in high school?” Mrs. Quinn asked “Surely if Logan took an extra class or two, he could have one too.”

“What they offered me was an errand boy that made print outs and got coffee,” Morgan explained, secretly watching as the tension in his brother’s shoulders relaxed just a bit “they’re not gunna let a high schooler into a research lab no matter how smart he is. Maybe once he hits college but even then, he could get a much better offer from somewhere else. I hear the robotic engineering program in Carnegie and Brown are real buddy-buddy with Stark Industries.”

Logan smiled, just a little, tentative and quiet, “Really?”

“I don’t know,” Mrs. Quinn butted in, and just like that the tension in Logan’s shoulders returned “Stark Industries is sketchy at best, especially with all that Avengers mumbo-jumbo going on. Besides, wouldn’t a job in the medical field be more secure financial wise? All I ever see that Tony Stark do on the news is make new toys for him to play with and destroy the city.”

“Saving the world from an alien invasion and government corruption,” Morgan explained “pretty sure that’s kind of important Ummi.”

Mrs. Quinn shrugged, “I guess so.”

“But what about that whole mess with the Avengers?” Mr. Quinn asked “Or whatever’s going on there? There’s always some kind of conflict with them.”

“It’s been cleared up now,” Morgan informed them “plus I hear Stark Industries are partnering up with a famed research facility in Wakanda. They’re supposed to have technological advances years beyond us. I’m sure Logan will be snatched up in an instant.”

Mr. and Mrs. Quinn seemed sort of swayed but they surely still had more questions and probing statements to say. Thankfully, Morgan was quick to jump in and change the conversation. “So Logan, Ummi and Babá were telling me how you, Virge and some friends made a club together, how’s that been going?”

Not a topic Logan wished to discuss in great detail but he’d chose that over the previous one. “Uh, great, we’ve been making excellent progress.”

“And what of the other guys in your group?” Morgan asked, genuinely curious “How are they like?”

“They’re…great,” Logan chuckled awkwardly “just two classmates from our school, Patton and Roman, we all head a group project together and we got discussing on some issues and of course one thing led to another.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty cool,” Virgil added “and we’re getting…stuff and things done. It’s small but nice.”

“That’s good,” Morgan smiled “I hope to meet these new friends someday, I’m getting kind of tired of just Virgil at our house all the time.”

“You know we all thought the same thing with you,” Virgil rolled his eyes but gave an easy smirked “thank god you left for college.”

Morgan laughed, “Geez, Virge, tell me how you really feel. Also, I heard you guys were being sponsored by Thomas Sanders, unless Ummi and Babá got the name mixed up?”

“Yeah, we didn’t believe it either at first,” Logan chuckled nervously, him and Virgil sharing a knowing look “but the school district recommended him and he accepted so it was only logical of us to accept as well.”

“How hard did you and Virgil fan girl? Be honest.” Morgan teased.

Logan pouted (though he’d deny it till his dying day) and promptly returned to his dinner, “Suddenly, I don’t remember the details.”

“It’s like it never even happened,” Virgil added dramatically “Thomas Sanders who? What club?”

“Aw, come on guys!” Morgan chuckled, playfully shoving his brother’s shoulder “I’m only kidding…mildly, though seriously how hard did you fan girl? Cause I’m pretty sure Virge has a fan about him that’s just as big as Rainbow Weaver.”

“You know what, go back to your internship and shove your head in a toxic waste tank,” Virgil quipped with flushed cheeks “nobody wanted you here anyway.”

“Hey, you never know, I might gain powers like Rainbow Weaver,” Morgan smirked triumphantly “then I’ll be the one meeting him.”

Logan smirked mysteriously, “Doubtful.”

---

Roman had just finished cleaning the last of the dishes when a buzz was heard throughout the apartment. He was quick to wipe his hands as he moved pasted the kitchen table where the twins were doing homework, ruffling Marco’s hair in the process. The younger gave off an annoyed whine as he swatted his older brother’s hand away who chuckled to himself as he reached the buzzer box and pressed the call button.

“Who is it?” Roman asked.

“It’s Virgil, buzz me in.” The voice responded.

“Sure, give me a minute,” Roman replied, pressing another button before heading off towards his room to retrieve his backpack and set up in the living room. He did not for the life of him trust the twins by themselves, little demons could get into loads of trouble the second you look away from them.

“Who’s that?” Jenni asked, inspecting over her macaroni art project.

“A…friend?” Roman said tentatively “We’re gunna do homework, that’s all you need to know so keep the noise down to a minimum when you guys are done, okay?”

“Is it Patton?” Marco asked excitingly, he always liked when Patton came over, Patton usually spoiled the two with homemade treats.

“No, it’s not Patton.” Roman said, rummaging through his back for the notes Logan gave him.

“Then who is he?” Jenni asked, curiosity finally pulling her away from her glittery macaroni art disaster. Roman groaned at the thought of having to clean that up later.

“Just, uh, guy from a club I’m in,” Roman explained begrudgingly “we have to do a project together, that’s all.”

“Why didn’t you pick Patton as your partner?” Marco asked, half disappointed he would be getting sweets but also curious as to who this new person was.

“Because the teacher chose them for us.” Roman responded bluntly.

“Why?” Jenni asked.

“Because the school system is a dumb-dumb.” Roman said tiredly.

“Why?” Marco asked.

“Why are you guys so invested in this?” Roman snapped, he didn’t mean to but he was already on edge as it was. Virgil and him had a rocky relationship as it was, they were co-workers at best after the whole spider power thing, but even so he had no idea where he stood with him. He knew exactly where he stood with everybody else; Patton was his best friend, Thomas was his mentor and Logan was a nuisance though still fun to poke at. Virgil was just a wild card, sometimes they got along and sometimes they didn’t, it was a weird line they walked and Roman had no idea what step was the wrong step and which one was the right.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Jenni sang, Marco giggling beside her as Roman’s face lit up in red hot flames. “Absolutely not!”

---

Vigil found himself once more taking his time climbing up the stairs when there was a perfectly functioning elevator. The realization of what he was doing and where he was going finally hit him after seeing Morgan and Logan out after dinner. He was going to Roman Marigold’s apartment, Roman Marigold, quite possibly the most annoying human being in the entire school next to Dolion.

It’s not that Roman seemed like a bad guy, he was actually pretty decent when his giant ego was in check and wasn’t jumping off buildings unexpectedly. But for some reason he just got under Virgil’s skin and knew what buttons to press to get a reaction out of him. Though he had no ide if he was doing it to be mean or it was just this weird thing between them. When Roman fought with Logan you always kind of got this vibe that they…not liked each other though it seems like they had mutual respect. But when he and Roman fought it varied on what the situation was, sometimes it could be Disney banters, playful bickering, full on heated debates, or just poking insults. It was weird and Virgil had no idea what to do with it.

He finally reached the door and just as he was about to knock, he heard giggling and a high pitch screech. “Absolutely not!”

Maybe this was bad time, he should probably go back, Virgil didn’t want to be caught in the middle of any family disputes if this was what it was. But he didn’t move to leave, nor did he move to knock again, he just stood there frozen in perpetual confusion and panic, listening to the conversation beyond the door.

Tiny voices sang in a jumpy school yard tune, “Roman’s got a boyfriend! Roman’s got a boyfriend!”

“I do not!” Came the embarrassed reply that Virgil could only guess was Roman.

Virgil clasped a hand over his mouth so as to repress the giggle threatening to slip. It was absolutely hilarious to hear the pristine ego maniac that is Roman Marigold get flustered and loss his cool due to, what sounded like, a bunch of little kids taunting him. Even so it wasn’t very appropriate of him to be eavesdropping on people’s conversations, no matter how hilarious or ridiculous they may seem, so he made quick work of knocking on the door.

It opened almost immediately, a red cheeked Roman staring intently at him, “Oh, you’re here.”

“Yeah, I buzzed you like five minutes ago, remember?” Virgil smirked “We’re you talking to someone?”

“No! No, just…you know,” The flamboyant teen made a vague gesture with his hands “things?”

“Things?” Virgil echoed with an odd look.

Roman nodded and it was suddenly quiet for a long time. Virgil awkwardly standing in the hallway while Roman fidgeted against the door frame, both staring intently at each other without blinking. Finally, a cough from behind Roman snapped them both out of their stupor. They turned to find two smirking children peeking out from behind the living room couch, no doubt Roman’s siblings, they were practically mini carbon copies.

Roman glared at them while Virgil gave a shy wave before asking, “Can I come in now?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Roman stuttered, quickly stepping aside to let Virgil in.

---

Morgan had gotten them tickets to the planetarium viewing of Dark Universe at the American Museum of National History as well as general passes for the rest of the museum. Logan was admittingly excited to go, it’s been a long time since he’s been to a planetarium especially one as grand as the Hayden Planetarium. But on the other hand, the awkward silence between Logan and his brother during the entire taxi ride here was very heavy and uncomfortable. Not that Morgan wasn’t trying to make conversation it’s just that Logan was snubbing them out as quickly as he was thinking them.

Dinner with other people was one thing, an outing by themselves was another. There weren’t other people to buffer out the awkward when things got slow or stale. They use to go on outings together all the time, talking endlessly for hours and hour far into the night, discussing the universe, life, and anything else they could think of. But that was then, this was now, and as of now they haven’t hung out properly in a long time plus Logan’s parents weren’t really helping him warm up to the whole situation. Regardless if Morgan was able to diverge the conversation near the end or not there was still that…tension.

“So…have you ever seen Dark Universe before?” Morgan asked as the lazily walked inside the building, the display of planets across the outside of the planetarium quiet distracting. There were two entrance into the museum, at the front where the famed t-rex statue was displayed and the back where the Earth and Science exhibits were.

“They were going to take us last year for a school field trip but the bus broke down and we missed the showing.” Logan shrugged, looking around at all the displays of planets, stars and solar systems.

“Ah, well that means it’ll be a first viewing for both of us,” Morgan said cheerily, dramatically raising a fist in the air “a bonding experience we shall never forget!”

Logan raised an eyebrow at his brother’s weird display who in turn shyly put his hand down, “Uh, anyway, how’s life? How’s school? How’s that club you got going?”

“It’s fine,” Logan said simply “everything is functioning as it should, it’s only the beginning of the first semester so nothing much has happened. Well, except for…a complication.”

“Yeah, mom and dad told me what happened,” Morgan sighed, a bitter sneer on his face “I still can’t believe there’s jerks like that out there.”

“Indeed,” Logan nodded “but it’s nothing to get worked up over, it’s not like it was the root of the whole ordeal. I was merely…defending a friend from certain public humiliation.”

“Who were they anyway?” Morgan asked before clarifying “The friend you helped out, are they in that club you made?”

“Uh, yes,” Logan said bashfully, a light pink dusking his cheeks “his name is – Patton?”

Logan froze in his tracks, his brother taking a second to notice, because there near a display of Halley’s comet was Patton Foster. He was wearing a stunning high waist space print skirt, black leggings, a soft looking baby blue crop top sweater, and black boots. He also wore sparkly silver star droop earrings and a matching moon neckless, as well as glittery silver clips in his hair. Patton had yet to notice Logan staring, too enraptured in reading over the little facts beside the display, and the genus will forever be grateful for that.

“Who’s that?” Morgan asked, snapping Logan out of his daze.

“Uh, no one,” Logan said much too quickly “l-let’s take a short cut another direction, I think I saw a map that showed the way.”

Morgan smirked deviously, “They don’t look like no one, you obviously know their name.”

Logan was screwed.

“H-he’s just a friend from school, I don’t want to bother him,” Logan sputtered nervously “let’s just go somewhere else so we won’t disturb his evening.”

“Hey, there’s no harm in saying hi,” Morgan chuckled, grabbing onto his brother’s arm so he wouldn’t scurry way “plus, he’s looking this way already.”

“What?” Logan squeaked.

True to his word, Patton had seen them and was now waving at them with that big, bright, beautiful smile of his. Morgan, the devil, waved back just as enthusiastically as he dragged Logan along with him because he’s was half certain Logan was frozen stiff. As they got closer Patton seemingly decided to meet them half way, bright eyed and springy as ever.

“Hey Lo, I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Patton smiled, he looked to Morgan curiously “is this your brother?”

“So, he does talk about me,” Morgan joked and Logan died “all good things I hope.”

Patton giggled, a pleasant bell to Logan’s ears, “Only in passing conversation but being that your brothers I can only assume you’re just as smart and amazing as he is.”

Morgan smiled big and wide, leaning down near Logan in an exaggerated whisper, “I like him, keep him around.”

Logan wasn’t a violent man by nature but annoying sibling could just so easily get under your skin and drive you to murder. “What brings you to the museum Patton? It was my assumption you were on an outing with your brothers.”

Patton pouted, blowing out a huff of air, “Yeah, Alex went to flirt with receptionist lady and Georgie left to drag him back. Alex won a raffle at work and won tickets to this show at the planetarium called Dark Universe. I’m honestly kind of nervous, I don’t really know what it’s about and the title doesn’t seem too pleasant.”

“No need to worry Patton,” Logan assured “it’s simply a documentary displaying the wonders of our universe while providing commentary. Nothing scary or abnormal, I promise.”

“Oh good,” Patton sighed in relief “I was worried that-”

“Ahk, Georgie! Put me down!”

“Stop behaving like a child and I’ll think about it. Where’s Patton?”

“I think he’s over there? Hey! Hey, Pat! Yhoohoo! We’re over here!”

Patton’s face morphed into something between embarrassment and annoyance as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He seemed to be actively avoiding making eye contact with the two squabbling giants heading towards them. They looked to be the perfect size for professional football players or basketball players or both, point is they were huge compared to petite Patton who landed just under Logan’s nose. Then again, Logan was pretty tall though not as tall as those two…where were they?

---

Out of all the places and times to run into Logan outside of school and/or hero training this would have been the perfect place but it was simply just the WORST time. Patton didn’t mind evenings out with his brothers, he liked spending time with them and the outings were usually fun. Their antics, specifically Alex being troubling making dork while Georgie forcefully drags him out of trouble and Patton watches helplessly by the sidelines, were amusing at best but annoying most of the time.

Don’t get Patton wrong, he loved his brothers with all his heart but sometimes they (*cough*Alex*cough*) had no shame what-so-ever. Great for Georgie who wasn’t afraid of a few staring eyes when pulling his brothers out of trouble, not great for Alex who is such a drama queen he makes Roman look tame. Outing with his brothers were not meant to be witnessed by anyone but the strangers of Manhattan who they’ll never see again, NOT cute boys that Patton kind of sort of had a crush on.

Patton gave Logan and his brother his best smile, though it was very obviously forced, “Excuse me.”

He quickly whizzed around to face his brothers, forced smile still displayed on his face, “I heard you the first time Alex, everyone could.”

Alex, who was hazardously draped over Georgie’s shoulder like a sack of flour, simply pouted as he wiggled out of his elder brother’s grip, “Just making sure, you seemed distracted. Who’re the nerds?”

Georgie smacked Alex across the head, “Be polite.”

“Ow, geez,” Alex whined, rubbing his sore skull “you can kill someone with those hands Georgie. Like in that movie Green House!”

“Green Mile.” Georgie corrected cooly.

Alex snapped his fingers, “That’s the one, anyway, back to the nerds.” Another smack “Ow, hey! I didn’t mean it, it was a joke! See they ain’t bothered!”

Patton took a deep and steady breath as he turned back to the Quinn brothers with an embarrassed smile, “Logan, Morgan, these are my older brothers: Georgie and Alex. Georgie and Alex, this is my friend Logan and his older brother, Morgan. They came to watch the space show too.”

Georgie nodded while Alex gave a false salute, “Sup.”

“How do you do?” Logan said politely as he and his brother stuck out their hands to shake.

Georgie was quick to shake both their hands as was Alex but he paused when he got to Logan, leaning down to intensely stare at him. Patton wanted to scream, truly he did, but that would just let Alex figure everything out that much quicker as well as cause a scene.

“Logan, huh,” Alex hummed as he leaned forward and Logan visibly gulped as he leaned back “where have I heard that name before? I know you ain’t related to that Paul guy from YouTube because you actually look respectable.”

Patton slapped a hand over his face, “Oh my god…”

“He’s one of the boys in the club Pat’s help make.” Georgie said helpfully, not at all fazed by his brother’s borderline interrogation on poor Logan.

“Oh yeah,” Alex nodded, finally letting go of Logan’s hand and giving him proper personal space “you guys made that, uh…what’s the politically correct term for this? I don’t wanna offend anyone.”

“To late.” Patton mumbled grimly.

“LGBTQ+ Youth Group.” Georgie provided.

“Jesus that’s a mouth full,” Alex sighed before pondering once more “nah, but other then that I swear I heard Patton mention that name before just…can’t remember.”

Patton sighed in relief, Thank god!

“Wait I know!” Alex exclaimed.

Shit!

Alex became giddy with excitement, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that just spelled doom for Patton. “He’s that bo – mmhf!”

Georgie was swift yet casual as he slapped a large hand over Alex’s mouth and began to drag him away, “The show is starting soon, we should grab seats together.”

Internally Patton was crying, Georgie was a saint and he definitely deserved a special cake baked in his honor. Externally Patton sighed tiredly once more, giving Logan and Morgan an apologetic smile. “Sorry about them, well, mainly Alex. He’s…a lot sometimes.”

Morgan shrugged, “Brothers, what can you do about them? This guy was a terror when he was younger, he would use his diapers as – oof!” Morgan groaned in pain as Logan elbowed him in the stomach, eyes shut in annoyance and left brow twitching.

Patton giggled, glad not to be the only one being teased by his older brothers, “Older brothers huh?”

“Quite unfortunate are we, huh?” Logan chuckled breathlessly.

“Seriously, what are mom and dad feeding you? I almost puked my guts out!” Morgan wheezed.

---

This was a terrible idea! This was a terrible, awful idea! Why did Thomas think this was a good idea? Why was he even listening to Patton’s advice, he was pretty sure the kid was mostly joking? But here her was at that same damn alley way, in civilian clothes, looking across the street into a familiar little coffee shop with a familiar red headed barista taking down orders behind the register. Thomas groaned, scrubbing his heads over his face, he looked like a fucking stalker, seriously!

He had convinced himself to take a quick brake before heading out on patrol again, maybe grab a cup of coffee to wake him up a bit. It wasn’t his fault the shop just so happened to be near by and hey if that cute guy just so happened to be working there at this time it wasn’t like a big deal. It wasn’t like he knew who Thomas was so he could just be casual, order a coffee, strike up a conversation, nothing big. But now he was here across the street and he saw the guy smile and laugh at something his co-worker said and Thomas just got weak in the knees.

“Why am I here?” Thomas groaned, leaning back against the grimy alley wall “I don’t even know his name! All I know is that he can’t seem to stay out of trouble!”

He looked back into the coffee shop, it seemed to be a slow day, only three or so customs lounging around in the sitting area as cute red head wiped down the counter. Okay, so the good news was there wasn’t much people so Thomas didn’t have to rush when he inevitably stuttered out his order. Bad news was he still had to muster up the courage to go in and talk to him and that was never gunna happen.

It was then he noticed a shady looking guy walk past him and across the street, his hood flipped up and shoulders scrunched in. He looked like the typical grumpy New Yorker that only seemed threatening but Thomas is spidy sense told him otherwise. Plus, he was definitely not hiding that gun, which was tucked in the back of his jeans like some stupid idiot wanna-be gang member, very well.

Thomas was quick to sprint across the street without the hoodlum seeing him, just beating him to the door by a moment. Thomas swung the door open at about half strength smacking the criminal right in the face. An audible crack was heard sending the criminal falling backwards with a bloody nose and maybe a minor concussion. Thomas made sure to ham up his clumsy civilian act.

“Oh gosh man! I’m so, so sorry!” Thomas gasped, helping the man up right with the intention of sneaking a hand around to disarm the gun “Are you alright?”

“Do I fucking look alright you stupid idiot!” The man snapped, much to distracted with the pain of his face to notice the faint clicking noises behind him. Talyn had shown Thomas how to dismantle a gun with one hand their freshman year of college, he doesn’t know why they know that but he’s thankful for it because it makes his job so much easier.

“Sorry dude, can I do anything to help?” Thomas asked in an artificially sweet voice.

“No, fuck off!” The man growled, quick to turn head with his tail between his legs, embarrassed by job never done.

Thomas watched him leave down the alley way, depositing the bullet clip he swiped into a nearby trash bin before heading inside. He noticed the speckles of blood on the glass door as he entered and grimaced with guilt. Once fully through Thomas finally noticed that the red head was staring at him and it dawned on him that he probably witnessed the whole ordeal and though he was a clumsy oaf.

“Uh, sorry about the door,” Thomas said, rubbing a hand behind his neck “If you got some paper towels, I’ll, uh, clean it up for you guys if you want?”

The red head’s eyes were wide with shock, steel blue eyes piercing into Thomas is soul, “That guy was gunna mug us.”

Thomas sputtered in response, “Uh, he – um…”

“I saw him across the street openly stalking the café all day today,” The red head scoffed “he wasn’t really subtle about it. He was probably waiting for us to wind down for the night.”

“Wait,” Thomas squinted suspiciously “if you knew he was gunna rob the place why didn’t you call the police?”

The red head rolled his eyes, “We did, but to them he wasn’t doing anything wrong until now. Stupid cops…” He smiled charmingly “but you came down here pretty quick and practically bashed his skull in. What are you, some sort of vigilante?”

“N-no!” Thomas gulped “I-it’s just I…I saw his gun and I couldn’t just stand there!”

“Well, you could have gotten yourself hurt too.” The red head countered.

Thomas gave a breathless chuckle, “Trust me, I’m not as defenseless as most people think I am.”

The red head giggled, placing his chin to the palm of his hand, “Oh yeah?”

“If it helps, I disarmed his gun before anything?” Thomas said bashfully, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.

The red head’s eyes went wide again, “What, did you do it with one hand?”

“Yeah?” Thomas said hesitantly, this guy was way more observant then Thomas previously thought “If you wanna check, the gun clip is still in the trash bin.”

The red head laughed joyously, a beautiful melody to Thomas is ears, “You really are something! So, what can I get my hero tonight? On the house of course.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to bother-” Thomas began only to get cut off by another joyful laugh “Bother all you want, you just saved my ass from being mugged.”

“It was no trouble,” Thomas shrugged, a goofy smile surely on his face “it-it really wasn’t a big deal.”

“Well it was a big deal to me, practically saved my life,” The red head smiled, grabbing a large cup and a sharpie “so what’s your name Tiger?”

Thomas’s stomach filled with a million butterflies at the mention of the familiar nickname before clearing his extremely dry throat, “Uh…Thomas…Sanders.”

The red head paused a moment, sharpie delicately poised over the edge of the coffee cup as he chewed over his bottom lip in thought. A ghost of a smile formed across his face, that seemed very familiar now that Thomas thought about it, giving out a breathless laugh. “Thomas Sanders, huh?”

“Uh, yeah?” Thomas knew that he got recognized often but by fans but it was usually by his face not by his name. Not to sound vain or anything but a lot of times he didn’t need to tell people who he was for them to recognize him. But this guy didn’t seem like he was a fan…still, he looked vaguely familiar.

“Well, I’m MJ, in case you didn’t notice.” He pointed to the name tag on his chest that Thomas was now just recognizing because he was too gay to look at anything else but this guys cute face.

“What does that stand for?” Thomas asked curiously.

He paused again before that same smile returned to his face, “Matthew Jones…Watson.”

“Matthew Jones Watson,” Thomas said aloud, rolling the words of his tongue as if testing out how they sound in his voice “MJ…I like it.”

And obviously that was a stupid thing to say aloud because it made him sound like some sort of weirdo who goes around judging names. But MJ giggled, light and airy, with a smile that could light up all of Manhattan. “Thanks…I’m glad.”

Tags: (sorry if it doesn’t work, Tumblr is stupid)

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[danetobelieve]

Baywatch || Blanche and Winston

With the amount of people telling her not to go back to the beach along with the amount of people she was telling not to even go near the beach, Blanche was pretty sure this wasn’t the greatest idea. Someone had to do it, though. Someone needed to get close enough to the chest. Blanche desperately wanted to know what was in it like everyone else, but she, thankfully, knew better. Just get the pictures, and then get the fuck out of there. Maybe fight a killer lobster or two. Blanche pulled up to the address Winston gave her, self-consciously patting her pocket with the mace Cece had graciously let her keep. First thing she did was put a nice sticker of, ironically, a crab on it when she got home so she wouldn’t mix it up with a can of actual mace. Her back seat had other makeshift weapons. Hairspray and one of those large candle lighters, a baseball bat, and a can of RAID. She glanced to the back seat, frowning. Maybe she over did it. She looked rolled down the window when she saw Winston approaching, leaning looking out the window. “I think this is where I’m supposed to call you a loser and make a mean girl’s reference.”

Honestly, moments ago Winston had been stood looking at what they had decided to call their survival pack. They were certain that they would need more then this. But they had ‘borrowed’ one of Ricky’s axes that they used to cut firewood and they had also grabbed a first aid kit, water, some food (just in case) and a few other essentials. This after everything that had happened to their house with Skylar and Ricky, well Winston wasn’t entirely sure that they were sane anymore. But Blanche was cool, in a way that not many people were and she was funny too. Winston didn’t want anything to happen to her and so they were going to go with her. Even if it meant lying to Remmy. Something that Winston felt immensely guilty about. This was a really bad idea. They hadn’t even bothered to tell Ricky what they were doing. “Probably, but it would’ve fallen on deaf ears because that is one film that I have never watched,” they chuckled nervously and then realised what they were doing and tried to make it sound natural except it probably just made it sound even more anxious then before, “we should probably get this over with.”

“That’s got to be a cardinal sin or something.” Not having seen Mean Girls wasn’t important. They were more nervous than she was, and that was saying something. Blanche wondered if she should call the whole thing off - probably - especially if Winston was anxious about it. But, in her heart of hearts, she knew she wasn’t going to do that because at the end of the day she knew she was just going to go anyway and if she went without Winston they were going to get mad at her and she didn’t want that. She liked Winston, and she wanted them to be her friend because… Well, she needed those, and also they were funny enough that almost dying in the middle of the woods via hedgehound (moose?) was a little less terrible. So that had to count for something, right? Blanche glanced over at them, glancing them over - “Is that - Is that an axe?” Blanche gapped. Red axe for red lobsters, she guessed. A giggle came out of her, mostly because she was trying to imagine Winston swinging that thing at a giant lobster - Karkinoid, really. Snickering, she shook her head. “Christ. Toss it in the back with the rest of my makeshift weapons. The good news is -” Blanche said, checking her blind spot before she pulled back out onto the road. “- that someone offered a ‘small finders fee’ for any parts of crab - er, Karkinoid we kill. So that’s cool. How’s your housemate?”

“Well if not seeing Mean Girls doesn’t send me to hell for my sins then I am sure Rick or Remmy will after they find out what I have agreed to here.” Winston was a person full of regrets as they reached over towards the back seat and deposited their axe there. “Uh, yes, it is an axe, Ricky had a whole tool shed off of his studio that is just fool of odd tools and this looked like it would be the best option,” they weren’t sure why Ricky had an actual fire axe but in a time of need like the one that they found themselves in, Winston wasn’t about to ask a bunch of questions about a good thing. “You really … came prepared.” Winston wondered if perhaps they really should invest in a gun. They weren’t sure that their morals would allow them to honestly. After watching their dad work at the WCPD for many years, they had become convinced that they weren’t the sort of thing that everyday people should just have access to. “Ricky?” they asked quietly, “Yeah he’s fine, a little banged up but he’ll do ok.” Winston was glad that the back porch was at the back of the house and not the front. They would hate for Blanche to see the mess that the karkinoids had made.

“How about this: You deal with Ricky, and I deal with Remmy once we’re back,” Blanche said. “Or, actually, send them both after me. This is my fault anyway,” she shrugged slightly. If the shoe fit, she would deal with both the wrath of Remmy and Ricky once it came down to it. Now, maybe her morality was slightly corrupted now that she also fully had a plan of killing one of the Karkinoids so she could show Regan - though, she wasn’t quite sure how that was going to work. Maybe if she just took it’s head or it’s giant claw or something… She didn’t get a chance to dwell on it though because there was something in Winston’s quiet tone that sobered her up a little. “Good,” Blanche said, glancing at them. Not good. People were getting hurt because of this. “Even better, there’s a clear forecast. I didn’t get hit with a single salmon or carp on my way here.” She made the turn off to get to the beach. “Alright, so, you know what the plan is right? No touching or trying to open the stupid thing. Just pictures of it.”

“Or we can just not tell them about any of this,” Winston replied, “we’re just getting in and out and nothing is going to go wrong so there won’t be anything to tell them.” Winston knew that they were kidding themselves. This was something so big that there was no way that they were going to be able to hide it from their friends. “I’ve got your back,” they said with a shrug, “you’re not forcing me to come.” They knew that they didn’t have to do this, the truth was that they really didn’t want to, but they wouldn’t let Blanche do this on their own. Helping people over come adversity was the name of the game, this was just different from forensics. But after everything that had happened at their own home the other night, Winston wasn’t sure that they could just sit back and let nothing happen. “This may be the first time that I’ve ever used fish as a descriptor for the weather and I have to be honest, if a large fish never misses me narrowly as I walk to work then it’ll be too soon.” They nodded calmly, pulling out their inhaler and taking a quick preventative breath of it before flashing Blanche a quick smile. “No touching, in and out.”

“Mmm, well you should know that I'm a notoriously bad liar,” Blanche grimaced, remembering all the bullshit with Regan. Her so called jenga tower of lies was only staying up with pieces of string, duct tape, and chewing gum. “If they ask, it’s not worth it to even try.” She glanced to them, feeling a little touched that they had her back. Was this what friendship was? Blanche was bad at that - gauging just what type of level she was on with people. “I have your back too,” Blanche said, truthfully. If anyone was going to get hurt on this mission impossible/investigative bullshit, it should be her and absolutely not Winston. “Ugh, you should have seen the size of the salmon that almost knocked me off my bike - and the bruise to prove it.” She glanced at them, grinning. “In, out, might mace a few lobsters here and there. Sounds like my ideal beach day, to be honest.” She made the last turn, and carefully pulled her car up where she had the last time with Remmy and Moose. Blanche undid her seatbelt. “Alright - pick your poison from our weapons cabin. I’m taking the mace -” she held up her acid mace. “Because this shit could probably melt through steel.”

“Me too,” Winston admitted, “I don’t know why but I always forget that I’ve told a lie to set up the lie I’m telling, and then after that my preceding lies begin to contradict each other and then I get confused and slip up.” They didn’t often try to lie because of it. “If they ask we come clean and I’ll hide with my parents until Ricky inevitably tells them what I did.” They laughed mutely at their own joke. It was reassuring to know that Blanche was there to help them should things go south. It was nice to know that there were other people who got this. Ricky had always known about this and it wasn’t exactly the same. “I saw a swordfish go straight through an awning and almost impale an old woman named Gertrude.” They raised an eyebrow at the idea of the upcoming activity. “Where did you get lobster mace from?” They paused for a moment longer before scratching behind their ears and fidgetting a bit. They could never sit still when something big was coming up. “I’ll take the axe then, I guess, unless there’s something better you think I should take instead?” This felt like the weirdest walking dead cosplay ever.

The good part about being cut off from her parents is no one could tell her to do anything anymore. What was Remmy going to do, call up her mom and tell her what she had done? That would result in a mad voicemail she wouldn’t even listen too because it wasn’t like she answered her mother’s calls anyway. She winced at their description of a woman named Gertrude almost turning into a shish kabob via swordfish. What was it, Regan said? Weather patterns her ass. “Um -” Blanche took her keys out of the ignition and stuffed them in her jacket pocket. “A friend. One of my friends that I can’t tell you about,” she added, and hopefully that would put an end to that. She did not want Cece to go all memory-wipe on her ass. Raising an eyebrow as she got out of the car. “You want the axe? I mean…” It wasn’t that she doubted they could use the axe to their advantage, it was just a little more close for comfort if they did get into some crabby trouble. “That should be fine. I want to take a chunk out of one of’em anyway.” She glanced down the rocks, to the beach, spotting the chest. Blanche pointed. “There she is. Stupid thing.”

Grabbing the axe, Winston paused for a second before scooping up the hair spray and some candlelighters too. Y’know. Just in case. Fire seemed to work fine, though Winston wasn’t sure that they really wanted a repeat display of the other night. They’d felt exhausted for hours afterwards before sleeping for 12 hours. “I’m hoping that we don’t even need this,” Winston replied, praying to whatever gods actually existed that there wasn’t about to be some vicious crustaceans that were going to make their lives a misery. Stepping away from the car, Winston made sure that they only had the absolutely necessary things with them. Phone, inhaler, axe, hair spray, candle lighters, y’know the essentials. “How do you want to do this?” Winston asked as they slowly crept towards the rocks that overlooked the beach, hoping to get a better view. For the moment everything seemed relatively clear, but there was a lot that they still couldn’t see. “You’ve got a plan right?”

Blanche relaxed half a bit when Winston grabbed the candlelighters and her can of hairspray. Shit was cheap, that could set anything on fire. She glanced out at the chest before glancing at them when they asked her what her plan was. Somehow, she didn’t think would would be helpful to tell them that she was just going to be like Nike and just do it. Just get down, rush to the chest, snap her photos, kill a lobster when the inevitably came to try and chop their limbs off…. She just needed to make it sound more formulaic than that. That would make Winston feel better. “Um.” Which all would have been fine and good if she could think of a better way to do it. “Well….” She squinted down at the sand and could itty bits of remains of lobster from the last time she’d been here. The acid, plus the other Karkinoid feasting on each other, there wasn’t much left. She patted her pockets. Mace in one, cell phone in the other. Shivering slightly,  “All that’s left is to just do it now. There’s a bathroom over that way on the beach where we can run and hide if it’s too much.” Blanche shrugged, before carefully sitting down on the edge and pushing herself off so she could carefully climb. “Careful, the rocks are slippery, it’s a miracle I didn’t break something the last time I flew down them at top speed.”

Pausing, Winston moved through the rocks as carefully as they possibly could. “Ok, just … just do it.” Winston felt their heart race. They felt blood surge around their body. They felt adrenaline roar. They could feel everything tense as they moved down towards the beach. A can of hair spray in one hand and a fire axe in the other. This was perhaps the bizarrest they had ever picture themselves. A nervous bead of sweat trickled down their left temple and rolled off their jawline. “Just do it. Just do it.” They weren’t sure why they were repeating that. Honestly it wasn’t making this much better. “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything else to my ankle unless I can absolutely see no other option.” They were joking of course. “There doesn’t seem like there’s anything around, let’s just get in and out.” They moved off from their hiding spot, slipping down the beach as silently as they could. Unaware of anything else there as of yet. They hoped that wasn’t just about to change. “How close do you want to get?” they asked Blanche, adjusting their glasses to sit more comfortably on their face.

“As god as my witness, if you hurt your ankle again, I will - “ Blanche was going to say kill you but that somehow didn’t seem appropriate. She dropped down onto the frozen sand and looked at them. “ - I’ll - don’t hurt your ankle again, I can’t pick you up and then I’ll have to call 9-1-1 and then the police and firemen are going to show up and it’s going to really not end well.” Or maybe she was getting ahead of herself and needed to chill out. Blanche’s palms were were starting to get sweaty, and she rubbed them on her thighs anxiously, glancing out at the chest. “I dunno, 10 feet, maybe? You think that’s too close? My iphone has a great camera and can zoom.” Maybe, after all this was over, she should invest in an actual camera. Funnily enough, it was going to be easier to get a gun rather than get a camera. “C’mon. Let’s get this over with - you’ll hear the clicking.” Blanche glanced at them, before patting them on the shoulder and strode forward. Cece had let her lead the way, and she did, so she was going to just… just do it again! Perfect.

“I promise that I will do everything that I possibly can to avoid injuring my ankle again, because I don’t want to be hobbling around on a busted leg when giant crustaceans called Karkinoids try and cut me in two.” Maybe Winston was being dramatic, but they didn’t feel like they were being dramatic. “At least we’ll probably have some signal here, after all, this is a beach right. Why wouldn’t you get signal at the beach?” Winston was almost too afraid to look at their phone at this point. They considered how close too close really was. Honestly, Winston thought that they were too close right now, but they weren’t about to chicken out in front of Blanche after they had been the one that had insisted that she couldn’t possibly go on her own. “I can deal with ten feet I think,” Winston replied after chewing their cheeks for a second, “let’s go,” they agreed as they set off again across the beach. They followed after Blanche, craning their neck for crabs or lobsters or anything with claws.

Blanche snorted. After this was over, she was going to have to tell Winston they were funny. Because they were - especially in the face of danger. That had to count for something. Maybe a merit badge for facing adversity. “We have signal, I looked before I jumped down here,” Blanche assured them. At least, she had signal. She wouldn’t know about their stupid andriod phone. They moved down the beach, inching closer and closer to the chest. Her heart was pounding hard in her ears, but she decided that she didn’t care. She wasn’t afraid of anything! If she wasn’t afraid of anything than some stupid lobster wasn’t going to prevent her from doing what she wanted. Fuck that! It was easier to go on a tangent in her head than it was to actually follow it. Surprisingly enough, they’d gotten pretty far before the fucking clicking started and she went rigid on the spot. Blanche cursed quietly, stuffing her hand in her pocket and pulling out her phone, shoving it to Winston. “Take the photos, I’ll spray the stupid things and see if it gets them to back off. They like to eat each other once one is dead,” Blanche said, quickly - she didn’t know if anything she said had come out clearly because she was talking very, very quickly. Low and behold, there were the crabs. Lobsters. Karkinoids. Whatevers. There was only a couple, thank god. But who knew where the others were. Blanche had her mace out and had it pointed in the right direction and sprayed. Better melt them now before they got too close. The unfortunately familiar smell of burning burning lobster filled her nose. “Don’t forget to focus the camera!” She called, eyes darting around the beach for more crustaceans.

“Ok, good, because although I’m not sure what a cop would do against a massive armoured crab, I do know that I’ll feel much better risking my life if there’s someone to yeet me out if you get my meaning.” Winston wondered how many cops had seen these things, why was it that none of these things were ever discussed? Why had they never realised how dangerous a place they were living in until now. If none of the last few weeks had happened, would they have continued living in denial indefinitely? As they crept closer and closer, they couldn’t help but keep their ears pricked. They could hear the clicking as they got close. They were about to complain that they were the one taking the photos when they realised that this meant that they weren’t going to have to be dealing with the crab things. Winston fumbled with their phone, pulling up the camera that they knew was supposed to be superior to an iPhone camera although at this moment it was taking way too long to focus. Sprinting closer, they tried to be quick, they didn’t want Blanche to get hurt because they were too slow. Their hand shaking, Winston tried to take a deep breath, before snapping several shots of the chest. “How many of these do you want?” they shouted Blanche’s way.

Ewwww. She’d been right in saying that they would eat each other because now that’s exactly what the other one was doing. Blanche wrinkled her nose, keeping careful watch as she turned her head to check on Winston briefly. “Take pictures of each side of the chest. And one from above, too! And don’t touch it!” Blanche didn’t think the warning to Winston was completely needed at all, but it never hurt. She crept closer to the crab that was still alive and clicking, before it’s head snapped up to look at her and she sprayed it in the face. Blanche realized she was certainly not fucking around. The thing twitched and wailed slightly before falling down dead. “Gross, gross, gross!” She mumbled, making a face before looking for more of its brethren that she could take out. Figuring Winston was done with the photos, she called out to them. “Alright, c’mere. Before the rest of the Krusty Krew get here. I need the axe, I want a claw.” she nudged one of them with her foot. Onces face had completely dissolved because of Cece’s acid, but the other one… It might work.

Winston sprung into action, circling around the chest taking photos from each side. They could thank their lucky stars that they were relatively tall and therefore easily able to lean over and take photos of the chest. It occurred to them in that very moment that they could’ve simply placed a camera on one of the drones that they had back at the house and done this with that. Apparently they were an idiot. Not allowing themselves to have time to regret their foolishness however, Winston dashed away from the chest a few moments after snapping their final photos. “I think I’ve got enough,” they said, slightly out of breath but surprised that their fitness had improved a little, maybe running for their life would actually have some long term benefits. As they arrived by Blanche’s side, they raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you joking?” they asked, knowing full well that she wasn’t. They gave her a look, before sighing and handing them the axe. “Fine, just hurry up before more of them find us.”

Blanche hoped they were right, but knew that she had to trust them. They definitely knew how to take photos on an iphone. Maybe she was just nervous. Blanche shook her worry off and shot them an equally withering look until they handed her the axe. “I need proof for Regan,” she said flatly. She did make it snappy, though. Deciding last moment that a claw was going to be too much of a bitch and a half to carry back (and heavy), Blanche went for the head. Or well, she stopped before she swung the axe, looking back at Winston. “... Don’t watch me chop off its head.” She mumbled, before waiting a moment, and swinging the axe. Gross. Gross. Gross. Her stomach churned, “ Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.” Blanche shuddered slightly, before handing the axe back, before unzipping her jacket, shrugging it off, and collecting the now fallen head in it. Glad she had worn a sweater, she stood, looking up and down the beach. “Do you want to make a run for it back?” Blanche asked, flatly. “Before more of them decide to pop up and try to snap us in half?”

Winston had to admit that the last thing they expected was for all of this to go this well. Though they had been unfortunate enough as to run into Karkinoids, it seemed as if Blanche had been able to deal with them and as they handed their axe over, Winston had to admit there was a gentle sense of awe. “I don’t know who that is but if you need proof then this is probably a pretty sure fire way, although y’know, the denial can be strong. They were watching eagerly when Blanche protested, and with a groan of protest turned their back on the butchery that was taking place. Once Blanche was ready, they nodded. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” They set off towards the car, glad that this had gone so well. Things could be worse. 

“If she doesn’t believe me after me bringing her a giant Karkinoid head, I’m projectiling myself off the first cliff I see.” Blanche said, absolutely being dramatic. No one was dead, and they had a lobster head. Hah, Blanche thought, that rhymed. Pleased with the outcome of events, Blanche took off after Winston, trying not to slip and slide on the frozen sand. After all this was over and winter left, Blanche was going to spend a nice day on the beach, alone, and get a tan. No lobsters, no crabs, just one normal day in the fucking - was that more clicking? Blanche glanced over her shoulder. More crab,s but more interested in the caracusses of their fallen friends than them, for the moment. “Gogogo! Before they notice us and King Louis’ head!” Blanche hissed. They slid up to the rocks. “Do you need a boost?” Blanche asked, kindly, as Remmy had done the same for her and Cece the last time they were here. 

“Ah yes suicide, the only rational answer to irrational morons who refuse to see the truth.” Winston was sore, sweaty and out of breath. They had been far too close to lobsters for their liking and now they were in the presence of one of their heads. This day was truly turning out to be memorable. As more crabs arrived, Winston moved faster to the rocks and shook their head. “I think I’m tall enough to reach up on my own, I’ll boost you first and then you can help pull me up.” They didn’t give her anytime to argue, they weren’t about to start messing about with those lobsters again and they needed to get out of their quickly before the smell of one of the karkinoids dead brethren attracted some foes.

With no time to argue or say anything sarcastic - because she would have. Probably something giraffe related - Blanche let Winston help boost her up and once again scrambled to the safety of the small cliff. Dumping the head wrapped in her jacket onto the ground, she turned and reached a hand down to help them up. Once the both of them were safely away from where any Karkinoid could get them, Blanche let out a giant sigh of relief. “Holy shit -” She looked at Winston. “- That just worked! We did it! No one lost a limb! Or rolled an ankle!” Blanche pointed to their ankle, maybe a little too excited over the fact that neither of them died or got maimed. She bent, scooped up the lobster head and grabbed her keys to unlock her car and dump the head in the trunk. “Karkinoids my ass.”

[felineinquiries]

Dinner and Reconciliation

[ Collaborative RP with @themarmaladeblog / @waynecorp-incorporated ]

[S]

Selina is precisely on time. She prides herself on it, in fact; five thirty means five thirty, and not a minute later.

So it is at five thirty that she, in clothes meant to suit the season and slightly on the flirty side, knocks at the Wayne Manor Door.

 [B]

Bruce, himself, answers the door. He's in a suit, a personal comfort, though it's too hot for even his constitution to weather a jacket. Summer and three pieces don't really get along.

"Selina." He says, and tries to smile. It more or less works, though his eyes crease with something decidedly other than pleasure at seeing her. Still, he steps aside and with a grand, if halfhearted gesture, waves her into his home.

"Been a couple days, you look... good."

 [S]

Inwardly, Selina sighs. Awkward, great. She counts silently to three before she tosses him a radiant smile over her shoulder. "Come now, darling, we've spent longer apart than this."

"And since when have I delivered on anything less than stunning for you, heart? Though I understand, circumstances being what they are...."

"I am glad to see you, Bruce. I am always going to be glad to see you, pet."

"The tension in your shoulders isn't called for, I promise."

 [B]

He rubs the back of his neck. Is he... tense? He hadn't noticed.

.... Okay, that's a bold faced lie, but he was used to it, he hadn't thought she had noticed. Bruce makes a mental note to lower his proverbial hackles, just a little. His shoulders sink, still as his posture remains.

"Right, yeah, of course. I uh, I wasn't sure if you'd want to eat, or, see Marmalade first, or...?"

 [S]

"We can eat, and... talk, how does that sound?" Selina shrugs her bag off her shoulder, smile fading as she turns her head away from Bruce again. Well...

Jervis had said he was nervous. She didn't think he'd be this nervous, so that's.. certainly something to adapt for, but she's dealt with worse.

She's pretty sure she's dealt with worse, anyway. Not with Bruce, though....

Ah well, stage face on.

She knows where the dining room is, and starts there presently. "After all, you look as to have quite a few things on your mind, my love."

 [B]

"Yeah, you could say that." He agrees, following a step behind. His mind races as he walks. Is this goodbye? Is that really such a bad thing if it is? What had she even been seeing him for anyway for all this time?

He should... probably ask that, come to think of it. That'd be a good thing to get off his chest.

Instead of that perfectly eloquent list of questions, however, Bruce goes with the much better choice of: "Why are you here, Sel?"

 [S]

Selina... blinks. And turns her head to blink at Bruce directly, instead of the hallway she was in the process of navigating. Stops walking, and all that - no one needs to go crashing into an antique over befuddlement.

"I beg your pardon?" Her tone is light, confused, no edge to her words. She's scarcely sure she heard him right, even, and so her brow furrows. "Why am I... here, darling?"

"It's to see you, of course, dear. I'm afraid I don't believe I really understand your question....?"

 [B]

"No, I get that. I do. I figured it wasn't just for my cat, I just...."

"Why? Why do you want to see me?" He knows this isn't the right way to phrase this. Not slightly. Nor should he be allowing frustration and anger into his tone, and yet... and yet.

Internally, in fact, he berates himself: Bruce, this is Selina we're talking about. Selina. Cool your temper, my man, she's always been on your side, even after figuring out the mask. Relax, just a little.

But internally, a stronger voice, demands answers. Damn the phrasing. You're the Batman.

 [S]

Puzzled blinking becomes... a quiet frown. She's being rebuffed. All right then, she can play this game too, Bruce.

She turns to face him fully, lifts her chin, and draws herself up to her fullest height. Back straight, severely so, lips a thin line, eyes narrowed only slightly.

"I'm sorry darling, I'm not sure I understand what you're asking, could you please elaborate on that a little?"

 [B]

Bruce draws himself up too, preparing, mentally, for a fight, but - but.

The smaller voice wins out. This is Selina, it yells down his anger, What the hell is wrong with you, Bruce?

And, so he deflates. His gaze drops from her narrowed eyes to the floor, and he picks a bit at one sleeve with his fingernails. "...Sorry."

"I'm not really sure what I mean." Liar. "Or at least," He amends, "I don't know how to phrase it. Come on, let's... get food, I'll figure it out. Pretend I never said anything."

 [S]

"No, Bruce, you don't get to just walk away after insinuating that I had ulterior motives for coming here today." Her eyes narrow further, and she does not budge.

"Did you think I was going to rob you? Or that I was here to mock you, or...?"

"Talk, Bruce. I want to hear what you're thinking."

 [B]

Oh.

He shuffles, and, moves to lean against, something, so he can look up but doesn't have to look at her. He doesn't really want to look at her.

"I - I don't think that little of you, Sel. I promise. I just...."

"You made it clear you don't love me, so I don't really know why you're still humoring me."

 [S]

Selina is... quiet, for a few moments. Staring at Bruce's face - she will move, if she has to, so she can stare at Bruce's face.

Silent, calm, passive, with an unreadable mask in place. Her arms cross, and she taps a fingernail against her bicep in thought.

"....If your view of me is that shallow, Mister Wayne, then I suppose I can collect my things and go, shall I?" She asks, and her tone is as calm and even as her expression.

Calm, even, and terribly cold. Dangerously so, in fact.

 [B]

His head jerks up in alarm. Wait, what? What did he do? He did something. He has no idea what he stumbled over, and he searches Selina's face for answers. What?

"Wait, what? No, what do you...? You told me you didn't love me, Selina, you... didn't you?"

"That's what the whole thing, this whole thing is about, Sel, isn't it?" He frowns, frantic.

"Don't, don't just leave, I don't understand - did I miss something?"

 [S]

...Sigh. Selina closes her eyes, and presses two tips to her temple, massaging it. This dear, stupid man, honestly now...

No, it's wrong to expect him to understand just because she talks about it on her blog, she can at least - really now, Bruce do you read nothing that I write? - ugh, she can explain. She will explain.

"I want to sit down." She informs him, without opening her eyes. And with that, she turns, and starts towards the dining room again. "You've got a few things mixed up, darling, the least I can do is clarify. But don't you dare say that I don't care for you, really and truly and genuinely."

"Frankly I thought you knew me better than that."

 [B]

Bruce stumbles to follow, head reeling only slightly. She does? Love him? Then? But she... talked about how she didn't? Days ago.

He doesn't get it. Not at all. But promise of an explanation has him following her, and pulling a chair out in a bustle to be a proper gentleman. And maybe it'll put her back in a good mood, who knows?

Not him.

He, apparently, doesn't know anything.

 [S]

He'll have to wait. She does accept the seat with a tight-lipped smile, and treats Alfred to a much warmer one when he comes around to explain what's been cooked, or is cookable. She makes her selection, requests a glass of wine, and is well settled and with something to drink before she'll even look at Bruce again.

"...Love and Romance are not the same things." She says, simply, scowling at Bruce over the lip of her glass.

"I have no desire for the latter, but that doesn't mean I don't love you, you fool of a man. If I didn't, I'd have taken my money from this place and left years ago."

 [B]

Bruce's heard skips in his chest. Probably not literally, but who can tell these days? He's been thrown into so many walls, a murmur is just par for the...

No. Stop it. Stop that train of thought. This is not about Batman, this is not about injuries, this is not about dwelling in dark shit, Bruce. Bruce.

For ten fucking seconds, Bruce, talk to the people you're looking at and stop getting lost in your own god damn problems. Focus. Okay? Got it? She said she loves you.

He blinks back into reality, mouth dry, close to tears. Water will save him there, he decides. "You do?"

 [S]

"...Went on a bit of a trip there, darling?" The light tone is back to her words. Teasing. Familiar, fond.

"Goodness, Bruce, you read people for a living, darling." Selina's chuckle is gentle, and again, familiar. "I'm flabbergasted this all comes as such a surprise. You're very dear to me, heart. As dear as Jervis, or Edward, or Jonathan."

"Just because I can't return those... fuzzy feelings of wanting to be swept away into a forever after doesn't mean that I don't adore you, you dear man. You're a wonderful person, darling, and I like your company."

"That is why I'm here."

 [B]

"...Oh." Bruce says, softly. It's all he can say, and he's grateful for when the salads come around. He feels a bit... foolish, now.

Mister Tetch was right, this... wasn't going to change anything, was it?

"Does it, um. Bother you that... I do have feelings of romance towards you, Sel? I kinda, assumed it would, though I'm glad to know you still love me. Or, uh, always did, I guess."

 [S]

Mmm... She pauses, mid bite, to think that over, head slowly tilting towards one side, eyes unfocused.

"...I suppose that depends on you, darling. I can't return those feelings, much as... frankly, I'd prefer if I could. I'm not blind, after all, you are a catch. And moreover, a good man."

"But I can't. I've tried that before and I was miserable, trust me, you don't want to leave my life through the route of my attempting to pretend because it would be easier. So... does it bother you?"

"That you will be among my dearest of friends, one with whom I'm quite happy to get physical, and who I'd rather like to keep around if I have a say in it, but... that I will never see you as more than that? Are you going to try and change me, dear?"

"Because if... no, then, no. I'm quite comfortable with what we are."

 [B]

"...I may need a bit of time to reconcile that." He admits, softly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Right, food, yes. He can buy time with food. And also should probably eat, worrying does terrible things to an appetite, after all, and he likely needs it. "But, um...."

"That's a me thing, not a you thing. I'm really glad to hear that, where things stand hasn't changed too much and, - well, I obviously like having you around, heh. Yeah, uh..."

"...Sorry for jumping to conclusions. I'm glad to hear it, Sel. I lo-- I care about you a lot, too."

 [S]

Selina smiles her bright, radiant smile, and means it this time, leaning to pat Bruce's hand. "Time, I can do. And well, I'm easy enough to call, after all, darling."

"You let me know when I'm welcome, and I'm here, love. That's how it works. And of course, you're welcome to visit, if you call ahead~? Clients don't really like having work meetings interrupted, but that doesn't mean I can't prioritize the company I actually... want."

 [B]

He smiles, at that. Want - wanted. Being wanted isn't the worst thing in the world - it's kind of nice, honestly. "Yeah, I definitely will do. The house's been kinda quiet without company."

"I've uh, actually reached out to mister Tetch some, and invited him and Jonathan over for tea if they wanted sometime, I thought... y'know, I should probably make more friends."

"Than just... three friends. That's not a lot of people."

 [S]

Selina grins to herself, and chuckles. "We'll make a social butterfly out of you yet, mister Wayne. In a way you like, even."

"I'm sure Jervis darling will appreciate the repose, as well, and Jonathan the opportunity to make you uncomfortable in your own home~ Do have fun, though, they're really lovely gentlemen, both of them." Smile.

"Much like Edward." Her grin grows. "You didn't think I'd forgotten, did you?"

 [B]

Bruce flushes in his ears, and near about drops his fork. "Selina!"

"I - look, it's, it's not a good idea. You know why it's not a good idea, he - okay, so he's charming."

"And really cute. And when he lets his guard down and gets enthusiastic about something it's honestly riveting to watch and it's hard to not think about him lately but that doesn't mean it's going to work out, Sel."

 [S]

"It doesn't mean it won't~" She sing songs, grin growing even further. Her eyes are alight with mischief, now, as she looks Bruce over.

"Come now darling, I've been dancing around with fools in love who won't admit it for weeks now, I can't tease them, so I have to tease you. And besides~"

"You're rambling. <3"

 [B]

Bruce can no longer object. He simply makes a flustered sputter of indignation and dives for the solace of food, ears burning. Okay, so nothing she said is wrong, and it is true that it's as likely to flop as not, but that doesn't mean he should say anything, 

"...Okay, fine, yeah, sure." Mumbled. "But I barely know him, Sel."

"I said this last time, I don't know him better just because it's been two weeks, I just.... C'mon, let up, right?"

"Yes, he's... wonderful, and adorable and... and a rogue. And interesting, and a rogue."

 [S]

"Aw." She tuts, patting Bruce's hand. "That never stopped you with me~ Just... don't give up on him, darling. Even as just a friend, I do think he truly likes you, and frankly, you deserve more people who do."

"Besides, more time in his company means more time to sneak a look at his butt when he's not looking; I do it to you, only fair."

 [B]

"Jesus Christ Selina...!"

But he laughs. The tension is broken, finally. It shakes the anxiety out of his shoulders even as he shakes his head and focuses on the soup now being brought around.

"I've got Marmalade in the Library, you're going to love him. He's as much a mischief as you are, I swear to god...."

 [S]

She chuckles faintly. "Good. Someone should keep you on your toes, and it seems fitting it's going to be a cat. I'm honestly... thrilled to meet him." She too, focuses on her soup - adding pepper, and the like.

"...Regarding Edward, darling. Just remember he's as much of a nerd as you are, and... flirting hasn't come from an honest place before, I don't think. Fans, and the like - if it comes at all, I don't imagine he got much behind a desk before."

"You'll need to be earnest. Okay?"

 [B]

...Blink.

"Ah... yeah. I'll keep that in min-- I'm not planning on hitting on him, Selina."

He catches himself mid-sentence, flustering. "Not... not anytime soon, anyway."

 [S]

"Riiiight. I'll remind you in a few weeks then." She grins a bit, flashing fangs in Bruce's direction, before settling in to eat.

"At least you stopped flirting as The Batman, that was really a terrible call."

 [B]

"...Yeah. No, I know. It's a shield, it wasn't a good decision by any means. No more of that."

"...Thanks, Sel. I mean, this is weird, and vaguely uncomfortable but..."

"Kinda nice to know? You think I have a chance, maybe?"

 [S]

"I do, if only because he respects you, but - don't rush, darling. And don't see it as an end goal. Edward is a darling man and his company is reward enough, when he chooses to give it enthusiastically."

"That you're getting it is a good sign, but be prepared for it to stop there - and try anyway. Okay?"

 [B]

"...Okay."