#ugh. I'm so frustrated

[boyapologist]

visited two apartments today and came back with absolutely zero will to live

[amourningcrow]

My artbook just arrived and what do you mean they could have looked like this?? Who looked at these designs and thought: No wait, I have a better idea :)

WHO WAS IT?? COME HERE I JUST WANNA TALK

[riddlerosehearts]

and the universe said, i love you because you are love

[cementcornfield]

Joe and Ja'Marr discussing a throw that didn't go well 🥲

[splickedylit]

Can't believe I thought I was almost ready to start posting this GamKar winter soldier pastiche like two years ago on halloween it's grown by several hundred pages and 100,000+ words since then. Current count is 325 pages, 167,000 words, 15 chapters. fukkin UNIT of a fic

EDIT for my own personal satisfaction:

10/25: 167,000

10/29: 174,700

10/31: 180,460

11/7: 185,775

11/18: 189,500

[sweetnnaivete]

i've been so miserable lately but at least i still enjoy music and learning

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Heyyy, I'm gonna be turning off anon asks for a bit. I think one of my posts where I talk about how refreshing OFMD is for me as a poc got screenshotted or something and I'm just getting a lot of nasty asks about it and I just don't have time for that.

And I've just had a lot of people come into my askbox demanding to know what my race is since I just identify myself as "not White" or as a poc most of the time, and I thought this could maybe be a teachable moment. Some people have been using the fact that I speak Hebrew/Yiddish as my first languages to insist that I must ""really"" be White and dear lord if you think that I just want you to examine why you're so insistent that Jews have to be white.

I usually just identify myself as "not White" online because I'm mixed, several non-White races. My family is mostly Ethiopian Jewish. Most Ethiopian Jewish families like mine moved to Israel in the twentieth century, my family did in the 1950s and mostly later moved to the US but we still speak Hebrew. It is not fucking weird to be a Black guy who speaks Hebrew as a first language and the fact that some people think that is a big part of why I choose not to elaborate on my race in the first place.

Anyway. Just, like, if you feel the need to harrass some random poc on the Internet until they tell you their exact racial makeup you need to do some self-reflection about that because it is, first, none of your business, and also just a wildly racist thing to do to someone because they said they found a TV show to have great representation.

[moe-broey]

Ehhh fuck it I'll post this one too -- I wanted to color it first, but. I'm actually split on redoing Alfonse's outfit completely, or at least making adjustments.

Like, in my head, I think I was doing two separate things between the Askr siblings and it just doesn't feel cohesive to me now.

What, you ask? Well, the first thought behind this, was this is a visit. So, Sharena is straight up wearing Moe's old clothes it never could seem to let go of. I think I got mixed up around Alfonse, though. Literally half and half. He's wearing some of Moe's clothes (esp the flannel, green, band merch), but the idea here is they did have to go out and get stuff that actually fits right.

Which... works. It does work. But I think in the back of my head I was also wanting to design an outfit that's more AU coded. Going from argyle sweater vest ass to mmmmaybe trying to develop his own sense of style. Which kind of directly clashes w the idea that he's wearing some of Moe's clothes. But also. So. SO BADLY. ESP IN THIS CONTEXT. I would LOVE for Moe to have direct influence in the process of that. Another detail you don't even get to see here is Alfonse is wearing a studded belt. Courtesy of Moe.

Lack of direction too many ideas at once. Maybe if it's an AU, the dress could have been a hand-me-down? If you like it, and it fits. You can have it. If you want... (Moe completely dodging just how deeply meaningful this gesture is when doing this). But also, could go REALLY crazy if Moe (previous life) had fashion taste that was close enough to Sharena's that, like. At different points of time, each ended up picking out the same dress. It's such a funny line to balance, actually. Because despite all the parallels I may draw between them, Moe was NEVER what Peony was, to Sharena. Not even close.

Idk idk there's a possibility that I'll get too frustrated w all the details not matching up here that I scrap it completely. Just know that the dress Sharena is wearing is pink and white. Very Princess Peach core. The style of it, though... it's pretty close to something else... a certain Something Else... just enough to scare ya. Which is ALSO WHY this might work better as a visit and unique psychological damage for Alfonse but I DIGRESS. WHAT YHE FUCK EVER. TOO MUCH GOING ON HERE JUST THROW IT ALL OUT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[familyagrestefanblog]

Sorry, I just need to get this off my chest.

You know what's shit?

That I always come back to work on my explanation posts on why Alya, Plagg, and Emonette being treated unfairly and being disregarded by Maribug's writing is by now pissing me off to similar degrees as her bad treatment of Chat Noir

But that always ends in a domino effect of me putting together more of the overall narrative that ticks me off so much cause my ADD brain can't NOT look for the continuous string of the writing pattern I follow once I'm at it.

You probably can imagine that this isn't very good for my mental health and the only reason why I'm still doing it is because I have a strong suspicion on what the new story arc will do with Cerise after this agonizing hiatus, and only once the actual new story arc proves me wrong can my ADD brain let this emotional investment of 7+ years in my "comfort show" since I was a 16 rest in peace.

Being neurodivergent is exhausting of FUCK...

So I always stop writing any of the posts about the other topics and come back to my Adrichat corner because that's the "safe space" my brain is the most familiar and comfortable with by now since season 4 to make a post AT ALL that isn't running the risk of leading me down 7 new rabbit holes I can't unsee anymore afterwards...

I MISS looking into several narrative threads in this show and voicing my opinions on them. In hindsight, I regret not having done it more when it was still possible, but I feel like it should have been alright in any other normally written show to have a fan blog dedicated to a specific part of the story. I feel like I shouldn't be the one in the WRONG for having done that.

Anyway, I honestly MISS the time where I knew that Maribug's benefit and comfort weren't the only things accepted as "valid" readings of the story. From both sides. Supporters and critics/salters.

Where saying anything that isn't immediately connected to Marinette's benefit and comfort didn't need a full-blown 20 page essay post going into any detail possible to fight for the right to even be taken seriously as a realistic reading of the story at all.

I know I'm not the only one upset at this, but I wonder how many people really realized by now how batshit insane this is right now. That only the most vanilla and vague-ass posts that do their best to not in anyway say something that would be "mean" and "non-validating" to Marinette can be posted now without it automatically being categorized as at least "critical" or running the risk of getting perceived as salt or wishful-thinking.

You can't point ANYTHING out anymore without at least one person running in and either saying "You just HATE Marinette and want to see her punished! You people never care about HERRRRRRRRRR (regarding a topic that isn't about her or is her fucking JOB as a narrative tool to DO)" or "Yeah, nah, the show would never let that happen because of the Marinette bias lol"

You can't even say anything anymore about Adrien's abuse without it being either undermined to all hell because of Marinette having been bullied and needing to be a girlboss who does to others what she's declared "tortured" for, or Félix "hypocrite and victim-blamer" Fathom. Gabriel being abusive was once the most basic ass thing to talk about, what the fuck happened?? (don't answer that, I know the answer...)

The whole analysis' side of this fandom that isn't catering to Marinette was either killed or basically exiled into the "critical" or outright "salt" tag because you can't even be interested in world-building anymore without having to fight for the post's right to be taken seriously under the crushing weight of Marinette's narrative benefits and comfort.

Because mademoiselle ain't fucking interested in ANYTHING lore wise beyond what's convenient for her (not to mention the retcons), so talking about the Guardian and Kwami lore for example counts as SALT now because it automatically implies for people that Marinette isn't all that matters and her flaws of not being interest in ANYTHING might actually COUNT as flaws she should work on. I know, the fucking HORROR! 😱

I MISS writing theories, analysis posts, and speculating about this shows future plots in even the most basic "set up and pay off" manner but I know I can't because my default approach is always complementary to the main character - meaning what challenges them and the narrative the most to grow, expand, and develop. This isn't a Marinette specific thing, I ALWAYS do this.

And contrary to popular belief in this fandom, I get by perfectly fine doing that for the majority of other pieces of media I consume. It is MIRACULOUS and this damn Fandom that now genuinely did it's best to convince themselves that this level of main character centric morality and revenge porn level writing is NORMAL when it's seriously NOT.

There is a REASON why this show hardly ever gets recommended on social media the way one would think despite its success. Or why the Fan backlash is so enormous despite a solid part of the Fandom already having left long ago and the young target demographic not uniformly having a voice in the social media discourse.

Or why people actively advise others AGAINST watching the show, AGAINST forming an emotional investment, and AGAINST going anywhere near the Fandom.

Cause no fucking shit, this isn't normal.

[queenofmalkier]

I just have to say, there's constructive discussion about what the show isn't getting right and then there's attacking people who are still enjoying it for what it is, more or less labeling them as bad fans or not "true" fans.

(And then getting mad when people call out what you're doing.)

[salty-we-never-got-mergana]

Ugh I feel so bad for Morgana, that she feels so alone about her magic.

You'd think she and Merlin would be closer despite the fact that she doesn't know Merlin has magic, if only for the fact that he knows she has magic and is safeguarding her secret.

Maybe he's angry at her for cowardice about the Witchfinder and not helping to try and free Gaius. She seemed more concerned about herself ngl but I don't blame her tbh. It's understandable and a flaw in her character. She doesn't have to be perfect. Trying to save your own skin from persecution and burning is perfectly understandable and the Witchfinder was manipulating her and playing with her fears.

I'll give Merlin this. He's strong in the sense that he is willing to sacrifice his life for the people he loves. And Gaius too... I think Morgana doesn't realize she is loved very much. She's just privileged. But love. She lives with a father figure who professes that he loves her but treats people like her like scum and then there's Arthur who always sides with her father-figure.

(Writing this I can see why a lot of LGBTQ compare the ban on magic to the persecution of LGBTQ because anybody could be gay, anybody could be born of magic, and your parent might love but the moment they find out that you're different that you're queer, is the moment they might reject you, especially if they've shown prejudice before. That's pretty harsh. So, I get why people queerify or see Merlin and Morgana as gay).

She lived her life as a privileged girl never expecting to give up much and she also doesn't want to give up much. She wants to live her life being herself and that's all. It's not until she meets Morgause where she's allowed that and then that's when she finds the person she loves and is loyal to, the person she'll sacrifice her life for if she could.

[tiredofsatansbullshit]

today was election day in my country, and after spending three and a half hours in a line waiting to vote, i walked back to my apartment complex just for some guy (who claims to also live in my apartment complex) ask for my number and if he could take me out. i repeatedly rejected him, even lied and said i have a boyfriend. and after trying to just leave the conversation, he threatened to follow me back to my apartment. so that's how my days going :/

[ioannemos]

hmm.

it's probably just bc i've been sick, so i'm tired and major lonely, but WOW do i wanna die rn

[kanerallels]

Sometimes I feel like I don't care what other people think and other times. Sigh

[bandsandwristbands]

Vent post

[tomboyfriends]

also i think i prefer "desisted" to "desister". desisting is more or less a one and done deal. "desister" sounds like i'm constantly struggling with it and am having some weird on and off fling with acting like someone i'm not. also not a fan of detrans/desisted people saying they're "presenting" as "female" or "ftmtf" when the former isn't a matter of presentation and the latter isn't a thing. for me desisting was giving up on the crazy notion that i have to play along with gender at all. when it's all a made up fantasy to prop up males above women and girls.

when i'm barefaced and braless i'm not "not presenting female" and i'm not "masculine" either. i am female. that will be a part of me. forever. and i'm happy with that. and even if i like being called a boyfriend (usually hot goth tomboyfriend/tomboy girlfriend) or being called a guy in a funsy way, it's nothing more than that. because i'm literally just some woman. playing pretend. trying to have a little fun in life. i really wish everyone female would stop bowing to gender in some way. whether it's the one woman caked in makeup, or another shorthaired woman wearing a snapback and listing wacky pronouns in her dating bio. or the detransitioned/ing woman saying she's "presenting female" and forcing herself into femininity when it doesn't have anything to do with being female in the first place.

gender is nothing. it is a message to women to shut up and eliminate our female individuality. why are we pretending it's fun to "explore gender" and "play with gender". it's literally just misogyny/sex-based oppression. sidenote: and why is this all on the HER app. why am i seeing all this shit there when it's supposed to be the damn female hookup app. i mean i haven't been on there in years but i remember what it was like on there. and then a man got the account banned on twitter because he couldn't stop being a rape-advocating TIM, so that's lovely.