#ugh this resonates with me in a way that i'm not fully comfortable with

[strongsam]

sam x mika playlist

first tumblr post hehe. i’ve been a huge fan of seduce me for years, i remember being in high school obsessed with the game. erik was my fav at first actually but then sam became my husband for all these years after playing his route.

i have a very diverse music taste so the songs may seem a little all over the place, but i hope you all enjoy nonetheless! i’m sure with the variety there will be something for everyone

(this originally was supposed to be a playlist for just sam but somehow became one for sam x mika bc i love them sm)

1. Therapy - Khalid

Mika is Sam's therapy, period. Although he initially tried to hide his feelings for her, he later recognizes his deep emotional dependence on her and how much he actually needs their relationship.

2. Hatefuck - Cruel Youth

"Will you love me tomorrow?" - Sam rhetorically asks Mika if he is worthy of her love, questioning whether he can live up to her expectations and fears that he may not be good enough for her.

3. Demons - Imagine Dragons

A more obvious choice, but like...c'mon. Sam is reluctant to tell Mika the truth about him and his past, however, it is impossible to do this because his past is who he is. Sam was scared to show his flaws and insecurities to Mika. Sam has a dark side to him but Mika does not get the full truth of this until Sam reveals everything about his past to her

4. Irresistible - Fall Out Boy

Sam initially had no intention of falling for Mika, seeing her as merely a source of energy. However, as they spend more time together, they develop a strong connection and unexpectedly fall in love with each other.

5. Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

In Sam's route, he falls deeply in love with Mika, finding comfort and solace in their intimate moments. Sam needs that feeling of warmth from the intimacy he shares with Mika.

6. Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

Sam trying to figure out how Mika feels about him by attempting to determine if she's showing him overt behaviour that would suggest that she has feelings for him (blushing, etc). I believe Sam would do this because of his anxiety about Mika's interest in him, specifically when she can be with a "real man" like James instead of him (Sam was seriously gonna ask James for lessons on how to be a real man and I will never, ever forget this)

7. Fell for You - Green Day

Ugh, this one. This song is actually how I picture Sam falling in love with someone, the vibe of this song just suits him perfectly. Sam fell for Mika and ever since then, his thoughts have been surrounded by her. Of course, our baby tsun tsun is gonna deny that he's fallen for her and has insecurities about their relationship because he believes Mika is too good for him ("I'm a mess and you're a work of art) and that he doesn't deserve a "perfect" girl like Mika.

8. pink bubblegum - lavi kou

First off, Sam's fav body part is the neck sooo...and Mika loves purple and kinda resembles that colour. and hickeys are usually purple so..ya i'm dumb ik. Sam may pretend not to like Mika openly, but he secretly fantasizes about being with her. Mika's love for the color purple resonates with Sam, and the idea of leaving hickeys symbolizes his hidden desire and the passion between them.

9. A Little Death - The Neighbourhood

This song makes me feel a certain type of way. I feel like Sam would want Mika to give herself to him fully at her own expense, knowing that she is participating in a relationship with a brute whose looks are "deadly" and who has an abundance of power and lethal allure, which creates that complex dynamic between them.

10. Animals - Maroon 5

This song reveals the intense passion and desire between Sam and Mika. The song depicts a raw, animalistic attraction, reflecting Sam's initial purely physical interest in Mika. It portrays his longing for her and the powerful magnetism that draws them together. As their relationship progresses, this intense attraction transforms into a deeper emotional connection.

11. Prisoner - Miley Cyrus, Dua Lipa

This song reminds me of "Chained the Monster". Sam's love may make Mika feel like a "prisoner" and the other way around with Sam feeling like a "prisoner" to Mika, but neither of them can forget each other because they have a passion that is so strong. Essentially, both feel like prisoners in their intense relationship, unable to forget each other due to the overwhelming passion they share.

12. Training Wheels - Melanie Martinez

Sam is not the easiest man to love or hell, even communicate with, yet Mika still has an immense amount of patience with him and stays with him throughout the whole thing in his route. Sam does not have a lot of experience with loving and trusting another person, and Mika is able to ease him through the process of forming a true connection with another person. Mika is probably the person who understands Sam the most in his route and Mika displays immense patience and understanding towards Sam. Through their journey, Mika helps Sam learn to love and trust, taking baby steps to form a deep connection with him.

13. New Perspective - Panic! At The Disco

Sam is a strong boi, and part of the reason for this is that no matter what happens to him, he never lets it defeat him. Sam is a resilient character who refuses to let his past define him. However, as his relationship with Mika grows, he fears that his less desirable traits will affect her. Sam hopes to become a better man for Mika while staying true to his strength and identity. The song also alludes to Sam's initial awkwardness and difficulty in opening up emotionally.

14. Religion - Lana Del Rey

Sam and Mika's relationship began kind of..rough, you know, with the whole kissing without consent (Sam obviously had his reasons) and Sam's attitude. Despite this, Mika chooses to stay with him, emphasizing her dedication to him and their love.

15. Mr. Brightside - The Killers

"It was only a kiss" (literally Sam and Mika's first interaction together, I couldn't resist) it was simply just a way for Sam to get energy when he desperately needed it at the time (Although he did feel at least a bit of remorse when he found out that the kiss meant more to Mika, as it was her first kiss) This emphasis of "it was only a kiss" reveals how to Sam, this should have only been a kiss for him to acquire energy, and nothing more, but it becomes so much more in Sam's route. Sam may also experience moments of jealousy when Mika receives attention from other boys.

16. Take My Name - Parmalee

This song is just adorable, I know it's about proposing to someone you love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them, but besides that and it reminded me of when Sam shares his demon name with Mika, "Aomaris", which then helps her in an upcoming dangerous situation with Malix. It represents the depth of their connection and how Sam is willing to reveal a vulnerable part of himself to protect her.

17. Guns and Roses - Lana Del Rey

I chose this song because it reminds me of how Sam is quite a destructive man, a "brute" who loves destructive actions and objects, he also manages to fall in love with someone like Mika. The title's oxymoron reflects the contradiction between Sam's rough exterior and his capacity for deep affection.

18. Monster - Adventure Time

Sam's tough exterior and emotional guardedness stem from his difficult upbringing, where he had to learn to fend for himself. This song also speaks to how Sam is seen as a brute by pretty much everyone around him, so he is used to feeling like the "bad guy". While he fears being seen as weak, Mika helps him embrace vulnerability and understand that she loves him despite his flaws.

19. Broken - DNMO & Sub Urban

Ending with some angst apparently lmfao. This song represents the initial phase of Sam and Mika's relationship, where Sam primarily uses her for sexual gratification and fails to appreciate her as a person. It highlights his self-destructive tendencies and their journey towards a healthier connection.

20. Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar

I think this reflects the tumultuous nature of Sam and Mika's relationship. The song speaks to the challenges they face, the conflicts they navigate, and the intense emotions they experience while being in love. It captures the idea that love can sometimes feel like a war zone, where they must fight for their connection and overcome obstacles together.

There you guys go. This surely isn't perfect and there's a lot of my own self-indulgence in there bc I love them but this is honestly just supposed to be for fun and honestly a good distraction from a pretty hard time in my life.

I'm currently working on a mika playlist, which i'm actually having a lot of fun with i'm ngl. I find making a playlist so much easier with Mika than Sam (maybe bc she's a more simple character than Sam) but idk, part of me thinks I just understand females more than males lol. I found myself being very picky with this one, which is what took me so long making this

I'd love to hear what you guys think! And what songs you'd choose for these two :)

[taegularities]

tw: super vague, non-descriptive mentions of toxic relationships and childhood trauma

so i will fully admit that cmi inspired this and then my brain just ran with it. i grew up in a house where my parents had (and still have) just a very toxic, unhealthy marriage, and i developed a lot of childhood trauma around that. ironically, it turned me into a hopeless romantic, and i very much clung to love stories in books and movies as a means of proving to myself that "love" didn't have to look like that, and now my love of love stories is, i feel, fundamental to who i am as a person.

i didn't know much about forget-me-nots before cmi, but their meaning of truest love, devotion, and respect just RESONATED, hence how i arrived here. i meant this as a tribute to all of the love stories that have kept me going, but it's always gonna remind me of the cmi babies first and foremost since they inspired it. 💙

are. you. fkn. kidding. me.

ari 😭

look, i'm so sleep deprived and this week was long, so i'm already vulnerable af.. so imagine how our local crybaby (it me) might be looking at her phone rn. LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUS, this is the best thing ever, it's as if you pulled a cmi!jk by doing this?? how truly romantic and sweet is that 😭

and ugh ari, i so understand what you're talking about. my family and i have an incredibly loving and respectful relationship with each other now, but there were incredibly rough times growing up and i know they shape us as people.. like i still feel affected by them. so i'm so sorry you had to go through all that, but i'm also so proud that you didn't let it destroy you as a person, that requires a shit ton of courage and you've always struck me as strong af — and so lovely and emphatic. staying true to your tattoo, never forget who you are, how fond you are of those stories and how they affect you.. they're truly so much more valuable than one might think.

god ari, the way i'm trying not to answer this entire ask in capslock. no seriously, i am so fucking flattered and honoured and i will never, never take this for granted. i never knew cmi would ever have such an impact on anyone, so to know it's able to give so much comfort and stay in y'all's memory is.. absolutely insane. thank you for this, i am genuinely lost for words :((( i love you so much and i hope you're living your best life with the healthiest relationships; will always remember this lil bit gesture :(( 🤍

[guardian5tiger3]

i just did your pac regarding overcoming anger and chose pile 3 which truly resonated. i love it. hence i checked your account and saw that youre also doing free readings? if it still stands now, may i have a reading on my attractive qualities? it could be physical attributes and/or my characteristics itself. thank you so much. i want to love myself more and improve my self concept so hearing what they are would make my day

Your nose. Your waist. Something about your skin okay. Something about the way you look is reassuring in some way to other people so like comforting in a way.. the look in your eyes, so your soul damn near. If you dress with confidence or you should it's super beautiful . This of course is what I think other people notice and appreciate about you. I keep getting something about a bikini or swimsuit like strange enough and I'm not fully sure what spirit means by that but I hope you'll know. I'm guessing either that looks good (ugh duh) or you should embrace that in the given opportunities cause it will. Don't over analyze yourself. Embrace your natural abundance energies. Something about honey and some green colored herb so either you know or then I would say consuming more of this will boost your appearance ok. I hope this was an okay reading I'm sorry it took me so long I was nervous in all honesty

[sharry-arry-odd]

There was something repugnant about the absence of rage in me. I wanted my fury back. I wanted a bath. And chocolate.

The Scapegracers, by H.A. Clarke

[tameru]

[English translation] ネモ / エイハブ feat.初音ミク

Nemo/ AHUB ft. Hatsune Miku

Regarding 'acceptance'.

[TO YOU THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN COMFORT YOU IS YOURSELF. UNTIL YOU REALISE THIS, YOU WILL PROBABLY LIVE A HARD AND PAINFUL LIFE. PLEASE NOTICE ME SOON. MY NAME IS NEMO. I'M THE SUBMARINE THAT CAN SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SUFFERING. FROM YOUR OTHER SELF.]

Won't you laugh so hard your stomach hurts? Let's get even with this pain, shall we?

Unending reflections come along just when you've forgotten about them In this age growing oversensitive We seek out the right solution

"That's right. If you want to be thickheaded then fill the cavity of that heart with something that does not reverberate." I, who was empty, felt every painful thing as a fatal wound. In my hollow heart, it resonated fully.

No matter how much I crammed in somebody else's words, it remained unfilled At this point, if it's mine, it doesn't matter anymore so I filled it with pain

Suddenly, it all turned so boring Anything and everything was twisted in pain Just like that, it all became loathsome I realised the contrivance of happiness I feigned ignorance of those already impossible dreams, and buried it deep down

Won't you laugh so hard your stomach hurts? Let's get even with this pain, shall we? See, won't you laugh at this pitiful me now Hey, haven't I said it already? Inferior sympathy, there's no need for it! It's just painful, that's why it's repulsive So then won't you just laugh?

Forcing a smile even in places where no one is watching Even in front of the mirror gesturing foolishly

That's why I don't even have the leisure to be bothered by this pain I'm exhausted by these days just passing by On the verge of disappearing somewhere, my final identity I'm pleading, just bestow it on me, kick it Setting envious eyes on the liberal freaky The smile that clings to me is amazing! Haha!

Not wanting solitude or separation any longer, in hopes that giving up what I can might result in peace, I clung to that smile

I seriously feel like an idiot I pulled away from anything and everything Just like that, I become hollow Desolate thoughts soaked into me Before I even noticed, the texture peeled off my face

Yeah, of course I'm deathly afraid Until the end of my life "it's only been painful," I can't help but think of it that way

Things I felt I would never do, I got used to actually doing what I put into words, I grew envious seeing someone so straightforward It can't be put into words

In this universe that hurts this much, how could there not be even a sliver of salvation? In the twilight I thought I was losing my mind in, I suddenly realised I wasn't trying to be saved

How much cynicism did I fling at myself? I've just been ignoring it The "me" that I want to admit to myself

Ugh, isn't this insane? Oh, it's so idiotic I accepted the me that was hidden away I've always been here Don't say that there was nothing! I don't care if even by force, I realised my feelings today If I praise myself gently I might begin to like myself just a little! My hollow heart, might somehow be filled with love.

AHUB's self cover can be found here.

support AHUB's first album, ORIGIN:A, here (releases 4/1/2023).

[am1ra-kar]

FIVE FUCKING GODDAMN STARS.

•"You might make me a better man." "-And you might make me a monster."•

Darklina had so much potential and chemistry and THE CONNECTION. It drove me insane. I know it wasn't a love story but fuck it could have been magnificent. Everytime we see a piece of the darkling I fall in love even though I hate him. My heart hurts so much for him though. Alina didn't want him but I will😭✋🏼 #Darkmira4Life

This trilogy has consistently been breaking my heart. I knew I couldn't hate the darkling, despite everything, and when we get to his prequel? He loved Ravka. He loved the Grisha. I ached so badly for a redemption arc, for an enemies to lovers. I wanted it so desperately even though I knew it wouldn't happen.

I know people say this trilogy can be "slow" but I didn't see it that way. I finished siege and storm + ruin and Rising in 24 hours. But tbf, I'd read shadow and bone a month before that (and didn't continue even though I had the whole trilogy) the world building is magnificent. The language, the quotes, the characters, everything is brilliant. There are moments, even during the harshest and saddest moments, I spent giggling uncontrollably. It's funny, it's sad, it's beautiful - I'm fckn emotional.

•“”No he said gently as he folded me in his arms. “I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but me.””•

Yeah, shipping Darklina after this? I've got some serious issues. I hate that they didn't become a thing. I loved Mal towards the end - this book saved their story. But UGH my love for the darkling is so strong - I am so so so so sad. I knew what was coming and the whole of the third book was spent with my heart feeling heavy and tears in my eyes that did not and would not stop once we hit his death.

•"Are you still here?" "-I go but hope to remain in your heart."•

•"Break his heart cruelly. I will gladly give our poor prince comfort, and I would make a magnificent queen."•

The characters we've got in this book are delightful. We're reintroduced to characters, see a whole new side to Zoya. Fall in love with Harshaw and Oncat, and Misha. Nikolai is forever in my heart. Fuck me but I even love Mal. He's funny and has his moments - even if overall he's not my favourite character (or even my top 5 *sigh*)

•"Beauty was your armour. fragile stuff, all show. But what's inside you? That's steel. It's brace and unbreakable. And it doesn't need fixing."•

•""Na razrusha'ya. E'ya razrushost." I am not ruined. i am ruination."•

Whatever heart was broken over Darklina + everything else. Genya x David gave me life, my shattered heart beats for them + Nikolai + Zoya.

•"Know that I loved you. Know that it was not enough."•

Baghra is OH. Such a fucking good character. I loved her from the start and I loved her even more towards the end. I was so nervous everytime, I fully thought The Darkling would have killed her for her betrayal repeatedly but every single time he didn't. And then that end? She hoped for more for him. God. That *hurt*.

•"Maybe love was a superstition, a prayer we said to keep the truth of loneliness at bay...

In the end, maybe love just meant longing for something impossibly bright and forever out of reach."•

I'm just throwing this quote in coz it resonates with me.

•" They had an ordinary life, full of ordinary things - if love can ever be called that."•

Yeah, I was ugly crying ever since Alina made the killing blow to the third amplifier (no spoilers here lol) - all through the whispered "Aleksander" at the funeral, the three representatives to the second army, the "you will always be one of us.", And FUCK her hands when she had her hands in the sunbeams? I'm aching all over - that shit hurt hurt.

Leigh Bardugo really took a sledgehammer to my heart with this book. I know it was a happy ending, right? But I'm not happy okay😭✋🏼 Alina and Mal wanted nothing more than to be with each other but they lost parts of themselves and FFS THEY SHOULD BE WITH THEIR FRIENDS😭😭😭😭😭

Some Mal x Alina appreciation in the form of quotes:

•“I have principles.” “-that means ‘if I can be difficult. I will.’”•

>>>Giggles.

•“But no matter who or what I was, I would have been yours.”•

>>>TEARS. IN. MY. EYES

•“You are all I’ve ever wanted. You are the whole of my heart.”•

>>>Oh Mal.

I'm in mourning.

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