#ugh sorry to be negative and sad

[th3-circus-coll3ctiv3]

Disassociation go brrrr we've been blurry all fricking day

[justworthlessreblogs]

no cause you’re so right for naming Kirakira in that potential canon post, I could name every character in that show and make arguments for each one, villain and cure alike. the characters were too ambitious for the show! like, don’t just reinforce that Akira cares a shitton about people, tell us why! Ichika feels that she has to put a smile on her face no matter what, show us more! Noir and Lumière are probably meant to be an allegory for abusive relationships, please elaborate!

THANK YOUUUUU i'm so glad to hear others feel the same way, it makes me feel better knowing that it's not just me overthinking things. i am actually in the process of writing a mini essay/reflection on the characters (will not be published until i finish the series) and it's funny that you mention ichika feeling like she has to smile no matter what because i actually bring it up in the analysis. i think they definitely had the foundations for a good arc where ichika learns that it's okay to cry sometimes and i'm so mad that they just ignored it and went with "ichika learns she has to put precure duties before her personal wants and needs" when that conflict had literally never come up before. with regard to akira i really think she has potential and i love her caring nature but they never actually Do Anything with it and it's frustrating. while i haven't actually gotten to the noir&lumiere backstory episode yet i do know what happens courtesy of being in this fandom for 6 years and yeah. i definitely think they could have done way more with it

[chemicalbrew]

achievement get (for the billionth time): take one look at an assignment and get severely overwhelmed AND discouraged for the rest of the day and do nothing

[twcbelts]

*      y’all   i’m   so   fucking   miserable   as   of   late,   i    just    feel    like    crying    all    the   time   and   i   just    am   not   well   mentally   even   though   i’m    really    trying   to   keep  it   together   rn   it’s   so   fucking   difficult.   i’m   usually   not    one    to    post    much   negative   on    here    as    this   is   my    happy   place,    but   even   here   i   can’t    be    happy    all   the   time.   I’m   just   so   fucking   tired    in    every    way.   also,    wifi    where   i   stay   won’t   be   back   up   until   tomorrow   probably.    i’m   so   sorry.    

[crybabyfucktoy]

What I wouldn’t give to break into your house, sneak into your bed and empty a huge load inside of you. I see you’re off bc (according to a previous question), so it would be the perfect time to unload a massive load inside of you.

mmm please do🤭 I need someone to breed me🥺😭

[wurm-food]

think I’m going to go bury myself in some dirt or something. it’s better than being belittled at my job I don’t give a shit about. idk

[somb3rwolf]

I'm always just a "someone" when you talk about me to others. Never anything more..

[jasonntodd]

.

[nullians]

Nothing will make you angrier about the current state of internet and websites as looking at old domains that are still up and running with perfect archives and 4173 documented doodle/celebration pages for each series hurr durr

[morose-melodies]

when you hit capitano, he let you.

you were angry, you were frustrated and he understood that very well.

your family was gone, your friends were gone and all of this carnage was caused by his sword.

when you hit him again, trying to shove him, he removed his helmet for you - hit him wherever you pleased, and he'd allow it.

he didn't feel sorry for your family, nor did he feel sorry for your friends - he didn't even feel sorry for taking you from your home. it was something he deemed a necessary evil.

you weren't happy where you were; maybe now that everyone you once knew was gone, you were trying to convince yourself that you cared for them, that you were closer to them than you truly were.

you scratched at him, leaving a long stinging mark on his cheek. his eyes had hearts in them as he looked down at you - you were perfect, you deserved nothing less than the best.

you grabbed a pillow from his bed and started beating him with it.

"you're so- ugh, you make me sick!"

you were getting frustrated with him. the captain felt for you, he just wanted you to be happy, "hit me harder if you must, stab me if it pleases you, rip out my hair, spit in my face for all I care."

"sh-shut up... what's wrong with you...?"

you sighed, your arms were sore and you were tired - you'd been crying and yelling at him for hours it seemed.

the captain raised a hand and reached for your face, wiping away a stray tear rolling down your cheek, "I love you... too much-"

you smacked his hand away, glaring at him.

he lowered his hand. "(y/n), I'd like for you to understand why-"

"stop talking! you're making everything worse. just shut up!" you cried over, covering your eyes and cried into your hands.

he wanted to hug you, comfort you, and ease the sadness you felt but he was well aware that that would make things worse.

so, he watched instead.

it was as if he was admiring you even in your weakest moment - he couldn't see you in a negative light, ever. he loved you, that last thing he wanted was for you to think otherwise.

but it seemed you already did.

he'd have to make it up to you, he reasoned.

[siofra-river]

If I could go like. A month without a tragedy this would just be . Too good

[genericpuff]

wait wait wait, regarding that Minthe post, you're telling me that Rachel literally wrote the character as having BPD.....and portrayed her as an abusive mean piece of shit??? WOW. fucking WOW. sorry for being so angry, but even if she "retconned" that - it's still so god damn disrespective. as someone who has BPD it hurts so much to see my mental illness villanised :(

ugh I'm so sorry pal. and I don't blame you for being angry about it, like I don't even have BPD and I'M fucking pissed LOL like I can understand why Rachel might have wanted to backtrack from that knowing fully well that Minthe's story wasn't gonna have a happy ending, but writing her with BPD in the first place and then BACKTRACKING from it as soon as she likely got heat for it (or just realized it wasn't a good look) isn't much better because it means now all she's done is written the stigmatized negative effects of BPD into her character without showing the more positive outlooks of healing and managing. Maybe that was doomed to happen considering Minthe is someone who doesn't get a happy ending in the myths, but it begs the question of why she'd write her with BPD to begin with because in hindsight it really does seem like she just wanted to use it as a way to make her "evil".

But like, when you read the actual episode, you can SEE the potential there for character growth, you can SEE that she's aware of her actions - but doesn't understand why she's "like that" which is a VERY common feeling among people with undiagnosed mental illnesses - but it was never meant to be.

Like jfc not only is it HEAVILY IMPLIED, but again, the episode is literally called "Splitting". And we see exactly that with Minthe, who can't seem to rationalize with herself that she messed up.

But... that leads me to another point that I failed to mention in that first ask response: she DIDN'T mess up. Like, yes, she messed up by escalating it to the point of slapping Hades, but it wasn't her fault that she didn't make it to her date with Hades. Whose fault was it?

Continuously throughout the first season we see Thetis being an awful influence who manipulates and gaslights Minthe. They're "friends", but it's clear Thetis does not have Minthe's best interests in mind. In this very scene we see Thetis manipulate Minthe and even attempt to get her so drunk that she won't be able to show up to her date. And then of course when that plan works and Minthe freaks out, Thetis spins it around on Minthe in a very passive-aggressive way.

But of course, the narrative has to find a way to turn this whole thing on Minthe being the bad guy. Hence we get the slap which shifts the focus entirely away from what led up to it back onto Hades who has, in a lot of ways, put her in a situation that she can't control. And of course, being in those kinds of situations does not help with mental health.

Like, sorry, I'm really going off here now, but... the slap happens in Episode 76.

When is it finally addressed again? Episode 103.

It took Rachel nearly THIRTY EPISODES to finally bring it back to Minthe, and in that time the reader has spent SEVERAL EPISODES reading about how sad and lonely Hades is, and about how cute and lovey he is with Persephone. The reader has not had ANY time to reflect on Minthe's circumstances, because it completely pivots away from her to focus on H x P as a sort of distraction from the fact that Minthe is a victim in her own right.

And when it DOES return to Minthe in 103, we get this harrowing reminder that her entire life is dependent on Hades-

And once again, here comes Thetis to the "rescue", reinforcing the negative feedback loop that Minthe is trapped in where she's put in unhealthy situations. She drags her to a bar and the whole time Minthe is not having fun because she's understandably still reeling from what happened.

Now we DO get some character development here, where Minthe realizes exactly what I've just finished explaining, that Thetis isn't her friend, that she'd rather not have Thetis as a friend than continue being talked down to and manipulated.

But then, as we know, because Rachel still needs Minthe to be the "bad guy", the breakup between Hades and Minthe winds up being all about Persephone from a POV that attempts to villainize Minthe for being "jealous" (rather than focusing on how shitty Hades actually is for having an emotional affair with Persephone to begin with) and then Minthe goes right back to hanging out with Thetis anyways for the sake of having the "evil other girl" who wants to "ruin" H x P's relationship.

It's not until Season 3 that we finally see Minthe tell Thetis to fuck off for good, but by then it's too little too late, and Minthe has lost an entire character arc. Rachel tries to go "see! Minthe's life is so much better now that she's taking care of children!" but that's an entirely different solution to a problem Minthe never had. She never got treatment for her BPD. She just got away from H x P which, while is a good thing, isn't actually analyzed as such. It's treated more as a "good thing" for H x P and the readers, because now they don't have to be subjected to Minthe's evil scheming anymore, something something "the evil is defeated". And don't even get me started on this comic's problem with constantly resolving female characters' story arcs through motherhood.

It bums me out so fucking much. Minthe deserved so much better. She's one of the many characters in LO who make it so painfully ironic when they're done dirty, because despite Rachel's attempts to write a "feminist retelling" that focuses on "moving on from trauma", she's inadvertently done more damage to feminism and the stigmas around mental health and trauma through her assassination of grounded and realistic and relatable characters like Minthe and Demeter who are shown ZERO empathy or understanding for their actions (unless it can be done so by making Persephone and Hades into the heroes). It happens so often throughout the comic it almost feels like how the comic markets itself as a "progressive feminist retelling" is some sick joke that I'm just not getting.

[ariaste]

A Discussion on Book Endings

Hey, friends. Thanks for coming today. I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is an intervention. Please, don't get defensive -- everyone here loves you and cares about you. But listen... I'm gonna need book readers and reviewers to reflect on the idea that finishing a book and going "Oh, I loved it so much, but I wish it was just a few pages longer!" is not really a valid point of negative critique in the assessment of a text.

Let me explain.

When I read people's otherwise wildly positive reviews of books and they say that line, I don't interpret it in context as, "This story needed to be a few pages longer for the plot to work, structurally, and for the ending to achieve a solid resolution." Rather, they basically seem to be saying simply, "I loved it and I didn't want it to end." That's always a GREAT feeling, but then they're.... taking points off from their total rating because of that??? They seem to be penalizing the author because they weren't left with a feeling of "Ugh, thank god it's over"? It's like, "This would have been five stars if it had had just one more chapter but it made me sad that it ended, so four stars" -- Guys, do we understand that's an insane take? It's insane. A book has to end. If you shriek "NO!!!" that it's over because you were having such a great time, that's... that's a symptom of a 5-star book, babes. I'm not sure why there's such a fashion these days for penalizing authors for this particular thing in this particular way, but it's really baffling to me.

But setting aside the puzzling trend of "I'm knocking points off because it ended when it should have gone on until I personally was fully bored and exhausted of it, like the 11th season of a TV show that was only supposed to go until season 4" -- listen, I guarantee you that nine times out of ten, when you're out here longing for just one more chapter or saying "this could have used an epilogue" you... are wishing for something that would have actively ruined your enjoyment and the quality of the book.

Are you a writer yourself? Have you ever finished writing a book before? Have you done it more than once? Have you deeply studied the endings of books? They are HARD, let me tell you what. Endings are so much harder than beginnings, because you're looking for that beautiful final note, like the ending of a symphony, and you're trying to ride it for a few glorious seconds before the FLOURISH and dum-dummmmmm....! and the conductor collapses as the audience bursts into applause! Right? Yes? Except that chances are that one more chapter or epilogue would ruin the pacing and resolution of the ending and muddle up the summary of the theme and thesis statement, and all of this WOULD ACTUALLY fuck up your experience of the story as a whole. For example, please consider the last Harry Potter book as an example. We all hate JKR now for being a TERF but oh, children, how quickly we forget that back in the olden times, we used to hate her for that fucking epilogue that made everything that came before feel rancid and pointless and hollow and cheap. Y'all remember how sickening and infuriating that was? Do you remember the Hunger Games epilogue? Nine times out of ten, that's what you're inexplicably wishing for.

To see this point illustrated, let's do a quick exercise together. Go pick out a piece of classical music -- some of my best suggestions for this are Beethoven's Ode to Joy, or "Der Holle Rache" from Mozart's Magic Flute, or Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Listen to it all the way through. If you're struggling with scrolling addiction and your attention span has been severely damaged, fine, listen to the last two minutes ("Der Holle Rache" is the shortest, just 3 minutes). Then, after the song is done, click back to some random spot earlier in the piece, listen to another 30 seconds, and then stop. Consider: Did adding that last 30 seconds materially improve the piece, or did it undermine the overall emotional journey? Did it help the ending to stick the landing even more than it already did, or does it just feel weirdly stuck-on as an afterthought, like the "for more fun videos, check out the rest of our channel and don't forget to subscribe!!!" card at the end of youtube videos?

When you are wishing for an epilogue, my doves, you are wishing for something you do not actually want -- or which you probably would not want if you had the option to see it in practice and compare it side by side with the original. You are wishing for something that would more than likely make the story worse. You are holding the author at fault for something being wrong with the text only because you hit immersion and were having a lot of fun and didn't want to come back up for air. Like, I'm just not sure that's something that the author should be blamed for? It sounds like they were doing their job really well???

Please, just. Separate your feelings of "bittersweet disappointment that this wonderful book is over" from "frustration that the author didn't stick the landing, ugh what a flop" because they are two separate things. Before you say "I'm taking points off because I wish there was more", please take two seconds to ask yourself critical thinking questions like, "Why did the author choose to end the book here rather than in two more chapters?" because (other than a few wild outliers that should not be counted) the answer is never, "They got bored and just didn't feel like finishing the story." Chances are, they chose that specific ending for a reason. They ended it there because that's the point that underlines the thesis statement of the book, or because the emotions of that scene are the ones they want you to remember and walk away with, or because that marks the place where the story arc is genuinely over. When the author says, "And they all lived happily ever after," that means that what happily-ever-after looks like is in your hands now.

Nine times out of ten, you don't want one more chapter. Please. I promise you that you don't want one more chapter. The book is done; what you want now is either fanfiction or someone to talk about it with. Or maybe to start the book over from the beginning! Believe me, you would not want one more chapter if you had it. (Or, if you did have it and it magically didn't suck, you would just keep wanting more chapters because that's what "really enjoying the book" means. In which case, go read fanfic, that's what it is for.) I promise you, I promise you, the book would probably be worse with one more chapter and you would not like it as much. Please stop wishing for the author to be less good at their job. Please. A book has to end; so does this post. And we all live happily ever after*. The End.

----- * The post-canon coffeeshop AU sequel will be detailed exhaustively on AO3

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Curious Sight

What is this?! Two Drabbles?! @spotaus It is more likely than you think.

Mostly because i was REAL impressed you guys managed to keep it equal. like how? Also because i really wanted to do both so here you go! both!

This one is a lot shorter though hihi

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

*--------------------*

Just his luck.

Why did he have to have a favourite pie in a whole other universe?

The Toriel looks very apologetic “I am very sorry. They just sold out very quickly this time. I will have new ones tomorrow morning!”

Blue smiles as he pushes down the disappointment “It is okay! I can always try again later.”

Toriel smiles before motioning towards the other goods she has for sale “Anything else? The cupcakes are amazing today.” she smiles.

Blue shakes his skull “No that is alright. Thank you so much for checking!” he waves and leaves the small bakery.

He sighs as he stands outside.

Damnit.

His luck sucks today. He had hoped he could cheer himself up with some nice pie but it seems like they are out after all. Ugh. Then again, maybe it is his own fault for liking things outside his own universe so much.

Blue looks from side to side. Maybe he can look around a bit? See if there is another bakery. He doubts it because the town, and well this very universe, is very small and he hadn’t seen it when he visited this place with the Stars all that time ago.

But well. He doesn’t really have anything planned today.

He looks left and right and decides to go right for now. He wanders down the street and waves at people along the way.

Okay. So he can’t get the cherry hazelnut pie he wanted. Which is a shame. But he can do something else to cheer him up!

It had just been rough in his underground. Alphys had been very distrusting of the human this time around and it had been exhausting to get her to at least try to get to know them. That is not even the multiverse mess.

At least people don’t demand his help at every turn anymore. Sure he loves helping others but before it got so bad. Back when Dream was still doing the positive guardian thing. People had also demanded help of Blue. And Blue loves to help! But there had been the fear that if he said no it would reflect badly on Dream and Ink.

There is a reason he hardly travelled the multiverse alone before. It was just easier to give himself rest that way.

But now with Dream officially having a new god goal and Ink still being MIA it means people stopped bothering Blue all the time!

Blue tries to ignore the hurt that thinking about Ink brings. He had done so much to help Ink and had thought they had been friends! That Blue meant something to the other! Apparently not. Seeing as Ink hasn’t even shown his face anywhere yet, aside from meetings but Blue doesn’t really count that. They don’t even hang out afterwards. Ink just leaves again.

Blue shakes his skull and keeps walking. It is fine. Ink is also a god and probably busy with god stuff. Reaper was going to talk with Error and Ink about their godhood after all. Ink is probably just busy.

Blue just… he hopes Ink didn’t just… forget him…

Blue shakes his skull and pats his own cheeks twice. Come on Blue! Snap out of it! You got this! No need to dwell on the negatives. Especially if you don’t know what Ink’s reason is! There is no reason to worry or feel sad about things you don’t even know yet!

Blue sighs as he grabs his phone. His phalange hovering over Dream’s icon. No. Dream is dealing with enough. And asking him to track down Ink just so Blue can ask him why he doesn’t want to hang out anymore is just… a lot.

Blue scrolls through his contacts and pauses when he sees Red’s name. Huh. It has been a while since he hang out with Red. Maybe the two of them can go to some motorcross universe and drive a set of bikes around? Just go fast and have fun with a friend? He taps a message and sends it.

Blue grins at his phone as he waits. Oh this is going to be great. Just him and a friend having fun and talking about motorcycles!

A ping and Blue grins before it falls. Red says he can’t at the moment. Bad run going on in his universe and that his brother is very stressed. Apparently the last reset had gone very badly and Red had died and apparently Edge had gotten somekind of memory or dream about it and is hovering a lot more than usual.

Blue sighs but types back that he gets it and if he needs help just to let him know. Red answers with a thumbs up and a thanks.

Blue sighs and just looks up. Huh. He recognises these streets but can’t quite remember where from. Maybe all these areas just look alike? Blue shrugs and looks back at his phone.

Maybe he can ask Sans, or whatever everyone decides to call him. Sans is a bit… strange. No one is quite sure why, Sans least of all. It is just weird how everyone just decided that no nickname really fit him. They tried Comic and Classic. But in the end everyone just ends up referring to him with Sans.

Which is weird as fuck with all of them originally being Sans. Yet Sans is the most Sans.

It is hard to explain.

He finds the number and grins as he is typing a message.

A moment later he answers that he is down to hang out.

Blue grins as he starts typing, not really paying attention to where he is going. He texts his friend about maybe going to Outertale to just hang out at the café. Or even to try and find a new universe.

Sans says he is down and asks if he wants to meet wherever he is now to travel together or to meet at Outertale and search for each other there.

Blue thinks and is about to type for Sans to come to him as he looks up for a reference for Sans to teleport to. Only to freeze.

That is the Cuddly Cat.

More importantly.

That is the back of Killer’s jacket leaving around the side of the building.

Blue doesn’t even answer the text as he runs towards the other road.

He gets there just in time to see the portal melt shut. Blue searches for the right app on his phone and holds it near the slowly fully closing rift. Praying he was fast enough to manage and get there in time.

It takes a moment and the signal the app is picking up disappears. But it is still loading and Blue stares at the program as it slowly slowly loads.

Then it pops up with coordinates to an universe!

Blue stares in shock before seeing another message of Sans appear at the top. He quickly texts him that he is very sorry but that he just spotted the gang out and about.

Sans’s reply is mostly confused. Asking why it matters as Sans thought that was all already solved? So why try and track their movement?

Blue is thorn. Does he share that Dream doesn’t actually know if Nightmare is dead? That Dream is actually looking for Nightmare?

Blue ends up typing that Dream still wants to personally apologise for the gang and Sans says he gets it and just let him know when he got time to hang.

Blue sighs as he opens the right chat window and starts to type. But then removes the message as he tries to type one again.

Over and over as he struggles over what to exactly say before he settles on a message.

“I saw the gang. I know to which universe they went. We got a lead if you want to check it out?”

And he waits.

His phone pings.

“Please.”

Seems like he got plans after all.

*--------------------*

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

[igotanidea]

The remedy: Jason Todd x reader

(part 2 of how to be a good boyfriend series)

As of late Y/N was sad and tired and dealing with a whole whirlwind of negative emotions stemming from work overstimulation and pressure on her shoulders. Coming home exhausted, falling asleep on the couch, bordering the sickness but refusing to take some days off.

And it switched something in Jason’s head.

He was constantly around, asking her a whole amount of questions of what she’d like him to do for her, how could he be of help, how to ease her pain and make her days at least a little more bearable. Trying to the top of his abilities to be a good boyfriend, instead becoming the source of her headaches and irritation. And though the intension behind his behavior was quite obvious, and Y/N was doing her best to not lash out on him for being annoying, her willpower was wearing thin. Only waiting to snap and unleash the hell. All he had to do was just one more word, one more mistake that would push her over the edge.

It was only a matter of time.

***

“I made you a soup.” He smiled, being so proud of himself. Y/N was always fond of his dishes and now he was about to serve her a full three course meal with the dessert, having spent a few hours preparing something healthy to boost her mood and enhance her impaired health. “Come on, wash your hands, princess and I’ll set the table—”

“Stop…” she hissed, massaging her temples. “Just stop. Stop. Stop!”

“Y/N? What- what did I do? What happened? Is there something I can--?”

“Just stop fucking talking!”

If the command wasn’t enough to make him go silent, he would do it just out of sheer confusion mixed with hurt. Why was she mean while he was trying so hard to be there for her?

“I’m tired—” it took the great amount of self-control to form and say those words in hope he’ll understand he was making her feel trapped and suffocating.

“Okay. It’s okay princess. Do you maybe want to get some rest? We can eat later, I’ll make your bed and-“

“Ugh! Stop it Jason! Stop offering me so many things!”

“But-“

“Just shut up!”

Ouch. That must have hurt him and it reflected in his eyes and in his entire posture. Jason Todd just froze in the middle of the kitchen with a soup bowl in his hands, looking at her as if she was someone he didn’t know.

“I’m sorry – “ she whined realizing the damage done. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be mean-“

“I failed you again…”

“No, no you didn’t fail, it’s just-“ her voice faltered before she could finish the sentence. How was she supposed to tell him what the problem was while the right words just won’t come out to her head.

“I’m a terrible boyfriend.”

Great, now he was getting dramatic and turning into a giant, sad, beaten dog. Probably the last thing she needed and she was definitely not in the mood to try to placate him. Not while she was struggling to not fall apart herself while everything seemed too much.

“Jason—”

“It’s okay Y/N. It’s a fact and there’s nothing you can do with it. Clearly not even with those lessons you’ve been giving me.”

“One lesson. We had one lesson and it could hardly be called that. It was more like an advice to not listen to Grayson-“

“And still I’m not making any progress with it.”

“Lesson two.” She muttered, her head starting to kill her. “You don’t have to be my remedy to everything.”

“huh?” Jason frowned a little giving her a funny look.

“You don’t have to offer me stuff, come up with ways to make shit better, overwhelm me with choices and options. You don’t.”

“I don’t? But—”

“No. Sometimes, you just have to be. Let me whine, let me be weak without trying to uplift me. And not turn into my remedy to every word problem.”

“So like a pillow in case you are a crybaby?” He smirked and apart from the obvious tease she couldn’t deny Jason was a fast learner, regardless of his own opinion on the matter.

“Don’t push it.” She warned.

“Oh I’ll push it all the way. Now that I know you don’t want me to make you feel better-“

“HEY! I didn’t mean I want you to make me feel worse! You’re twisting my words. “

“Sure.” Jason shrugged casually, taking the perfect excuse to put his specific sense of humor on. “What were you expecting?”

“You’re such a jerk….”

“Just listening to your lessons love. It’s up to you how you’ll bring me up.” Jason laughed pulling her to the couch and trapping in his embrace and she knew she was about to get at least a few hours of teasing and mean jokes. But she wouldn’t have it any other way

“I’m gonna have to be careful with what I say from now on….”

“Yeah, you better. “

They snuggled close together enjoying the silence and the comfort of just being together.

[universallydestinytaco]

The Little Smiling Mermaid (Chapter 2)

TW: Emotional/Verbal *b*se, Queerph*bia

(Next chapter will be light-hearted enough to make up for how sad/relatable this chapter turned out)

NOTE: Pim is transmasc in this fanfic but the misgendering he gets isn’t intentional, not that his boorish family would be supportive anyway. When Pim arrived back, he thanked Neptune that the concert only started…30 minutes ago, and yet it already descended into chaos all because of him but better late than never! He hastily dolled himself up with traditional Meeplantica garb consisting of a crown of flowers, a necklace of pearls and orient clams clipped on one’s tail-fins (Pim hated that part because of the pinching) prior to announcing his belated presence on stage and calming down the commotion. “Sorry I’m late everyone I had trouble fitting into my costume!” Alan certainly felt conflicted. On one hand he knew Pim was up to more than just having a wardrobe malfunction and the irritated lobster wanted to read him the riot act for almost ruining his big break, on the other hand he knew Pim on a day-to-day basis already got yelled at enough for far more trivial things and began to count his blessings once that headstrong mercritter finally arrived. “From the top, Mistro!” chirped Pim giving Alan the signal, thus finally began the concert after that awkward disruption.

…

While the concert was well received overall, the aftermath on the other hand…wasn’t pretty to say the least. Within two hours Pim went from happily singing in front of an impressed crowd to being sheepishly backed into a corner, trying to look away from the glaring faces chewing him out for somehow forgetting the day of the concert and how he made them all look like “a gang of incompetent buffoons” and at worst, Amy was just rolling with the degrading insults, ranging from insulting his body to his intelligence while screaming in his face. Pim tried to explain but kept getting cut off, as the already unreasonable relatives kept getting angrier. Pim failing to hold back his tears only aggravated them even more. Glep, who was hiding in Pim’s iconic satchel couldn’t take all the negativity targeted at his friend and plucked up the courage to defend him even if it would be fruitless and potentially get him fried by King Steven’s trident. Glep swam out and immediately jumped to Pim’s defense, explaining best he could without bringing up the shipwreck or the surface-related stuff. “An abyss demon was chasing my baby?!” Queen Bertha shrieked with an initial gasp, with Glep responding with the ol’ rolling of the eyes how the flibbertyjibbit would go from verbally assaulting her youngest to immediately acting as if he was still her dainty little infant who she couldn’t possibly bare seeing hurt. A skeptical King Steven cut her off, “Hold your damn seahorses, an abyss demon? In MY domain? I harshly trained my palace guards to be on the look out for abyss demons!” As King Steven was going on one of his tangents, Amy swam up to Pim from behind and yanked his satchel away from him, making Pim indignantly grab it in an attempt to take it back. “Amy what are you doing?!” “I wanna see what else is inside! You been hiding more weird creatures in that bag?” Pim’s heart raced as he yanked it harder with an indignant cry of: “Leave me alone!!” Amy pulled her crocodile tears routine, knowing very well her parents would side with the golden child of the family. Damien rolled his eyes and swam to another room to get away from the noise. “Ugh, Pimberly is being mean to me and won’t let me see what’s inside of her bag!” King Steven was too busy with his unrelated gloating of his glory days as a volunteer soldier for the royal army as Queen Bertha barked at Pim: “PIMBERLY! YOU’RE TOO OLD TO ACT LIKE THAT! QUIT BEHAVING LIKE A CHILD AND GIVE HER THE BAG!” Pim didn’t even have a chance to give the bag to Amy because she ripped it out of his arms and tore a hole into it, revealing Pim’s haul of surfaced items he collected today. “Oh, fudge…” Pim uttered to himself as his family witnessed in disgust at what they discovered before returning their vicious glares to Pim. While this family was no stranger to shooting Pim some seriously dirty looks, this was the first time they looked as if they saw him as a sick twisted crook who had no place under their roof and where all ready to disown him all together. King Pimling clenched both of his fists and swam up to Pim’s face, demanding the smaller mercritter to: “Look at me square in the eye.” Pim nervously looked up at the unbridled rage of his father’s face for about 2 seconds until he finally broke the silence with: “I raised you to never indulge in the culture of those filthy fishmongers…”, grabbing Pim’s hair with the fist that wasn’t holding his trident. “…I don’t even know which has me more repulsed by you: carrying that shit around or the fact that you knew better.” He let go of Pim’s hair and backed away, turning his attention to the assorted items that spilled from the satchel as Pim stayed in place, completely frozen with dread. King Steven pointed his trident at the pile and right before zapping it to oblivion, he gave Pim a stern warning: “This is what happens to any of my subjects whom I see ever engaging in collecting this surface filth, be thankful you’re not one of them.”

KER-POW!!!

All was left was a pile of ash, and Pim could feel tears leaking out of his eyes and into the water surrounding him. Amy, still holding the satchel, threw it on the ground and spat out: “While you’re at it, burn this too! That oughta teach this disgusting little monster a lesson!” Pim finally couldn’t take it anymore. “I WOULD RATHER BE A COMMONER THAN LIVE WITH ANY OF YOU!!” cried out Pim, his heartbroken words echoing throughout the palace before grabbing the satchel and escaping in tears; While the rest of the family kept their disgusted expressions, Queen Bertha visibly went from feeling contempt and outrage to guilt and remorse watching Pim rapidly swim his way out of the palace with Glep following him out of sight, even attempting to reach out to him before it was too late. Amy passive-aggressively comforted her mother: “Oh, she’ll be back after she’s done clutching her pearls! Pimberly does this all the time, last time she shit herself like this it was because I told King Steven she wanted to kiss another girl! Like, eww…what a weirdo.” with a snooty laugh. Queen Bertha didn’t respond with continuing with going back-and-forth about her “odd” youngest child like she loved to do, rather she couldn’t stop thinking about the way her youngest was so visibly distraught rather than irreverently ignoring his uptight Father’s rage with a sassy “What would you know?” attitude. “…Maybe you’re right, she is the most overly sensitive of them all!” Queen Bertha giddily replied with a girlish giggle, igniting Amy’s own amused laughter.

…

It was two hours after dinner time and there was zero sign of either Pim or Glep whatsoever. King Steven and Queen Bertha were on their thrones, silently reflecting on what happened earlier. Of course King Steven was proudly reliving how he destroyed the “surface filth” and laid down the law on his “impossible” child, Queen Bertha failed to further repress her guilt as her restless conscience kept on nagging at her to make it right.

“Steven, darling…don’t you think you were a little too hard on her?” asked Queen Bertha in a voice much softer than usual. King Steven gave his wife a befuddled look, only to smirk with the boastful reply: “Don’t make me laugh, you complain that I don’t discipline hard enough and when I do you still bitch and moan, typical Bertha.” He went from cocky to stoic mode when gloating: “It’ll do the shrimp some good to scare her straight! Whenever I get the trident, she never makes the same screw-up twice.” His stone-cold stiff upper lip twisting into a sadistic grin. Queen Bertha rolled her eyes, humbly announcing: “I’m ready for bed, you coming dear?” to which he gruffly replied: “Yeah I guess.”

Just minutes after the couple retired to their bedroom chamber, a cloaked Pim slipped into his room for what would be the last time. He grabbed some belongings of his while his siblings were asleep, placing them in his now patched-up satchel. Pim knew deep in his heart that this choice was for the best in regards to his mental health…but even if most of his family were mean to him, he still loved them dearly and he couldn’t help at feeling his heart shatter over the idea of making the right choice. He swam back outside and picked four flowers to put each one near his family members. He kissed two of the flowers before placing them by his siblings’ respective bedsides, and he quietly swam into the empty throne room but not before peeking to see if his parents were still there. He thanked Neptune they went to bed already. He kissed the last two flowers and placed them on the seats. With a heavy heart and memories being brought back to him both bad and good, the little mercritter swam back out of the palace knowing even if there where nice times he had with his family, it was for the best he left them for the good of his own mental health. Once Pim was far away enough from the palace, he didn’t bother holding back the fat tears from escaping his eyes.

~

Charlie couldn’t sleep on nights like this when the moon was big and bright, something about it made him want to stand outside by the ocean, drink from his flask and play his ocarina. As he played his beloved instrument, he fondly recalled a childhood memory of his own when he was about 6 or 7, wearing a cape and an old hat Mr. Boss wore while armed with a little wooden sword, gallivanting around the beach while loudly-and-proudly proclaiming he was King of the Pirates. Little Charlie didn’t have much friends at that time but what he would do was based on one of Mr. Boss’ bedtime stories: writing mercritter runes in the sand and coming back later to see the response. Charlie did exactly that and eagerly waited for the response while distracting himself best he could fighting imaginary monsters and bad guys. Lo and behold Charlie always got a response, while in hindsight a Charlie figured it could have been possible that someone, perhaps even Mr. Boss was playing along writing the responses in runes, he couldn’t shake off the magical sensation he got from the afternoon ritual. If it really was a mercritter responding to him this whole time he’d be over the moon.

~

The next morning, King Steven and Queen Bertha made an important announcement to the guards, the servants, Alan (who was sheepishly perched on King Steven’s shoulder) and all of the kingdom: “Princess Pimberly” was missing in action, and all of Meeplantica was given an order to search far and wide for their youngest child. As contentious as Pim was to his own family, the public adored Pim for putting his heart on his sleeve (or lack thereof) through his irreverence, tender heart and adorably awkward clumsiness as he felt more relatable and authentic to the common merfolk than the rest of the haughty and “perfect” Royals…and having the most beautiful voice in the entire ocean was just the icing on the cake! After the commoners split up and swam away, King Steven turned to the residents of the castle, looking ever-so-businesslike while trying to silently hide away whatever he deemed as weakness to appear more so unshakable. “If we can overcome what happened to my father, the king before me, then this so-called crisis is just plankton on algae as far as I’m concerned, for all we know the shrimp’s pulling a fast one on us.” Damien, as much as he tried to put on a brave face for his peers, was deeply worried about Pim, regretting how complicit he was in the toxicity of the family’s dynamic. Amy on the other hand whined: “Do we HAVE to look for her?” King Steven sighed: “Well I can’t blame you for being burnt out on her antics, I swear she takes after her mother.” Queen Bertha gave her husband an icy glare for that comment, but he didn’t really give a barnacle. He pointed towards the other palace residents, demanding: “The rest of you better look high and low for my youngest and if she ain’t in one piece, It’ll be on YOU! Now MOVE IT ALONG YOU BLOKES.” Everyone scattered as King Pimling darted his eyes at the nervous Alan, and spoke in a less-furious yet still very serious tone: “You swear to Neptune you’ll fetch her home?” Alan solemnly nodded, “Yes your Majesty, I have yet to let you down.” King Steven picked Alan up and placed him on the ground to scurry away in search of Pim.

…

Of course Alan felt super conflicted about this search party! On one claw he’s been studying in the palace as a chosen prodigy since Pim was just a little tadpole, serving as the older brother Pim never really had. Unlike his actual-biological brother Damien, Pim felt more comfortable confiding to him about personal things his family would refuse to understand to save their own lives such as who he crushed on and his strained relationship with his own identity. Alan was one of the few Meeplanticans who knew Pim’s authentic self and it would boil his blood whenever Amy would stir up drama between Pim and the rest of the family. Whenever Alan was there to witness the conflict, he tried to speak up on Pim’s behalf but his pleas of defense where drown out by the ear-piercing chorus of screaming and crying, so the best he could do was console Pim and reassure him one day he’d somehow get out of this mess. On the other claw, why the hell would anyone want to knowingly bring Pim back to THAT home?! If the public had any idea what went on behind closed curtains, everyone would whole-heartedly agree that Pim would be much happier and safer inside the depths of Davey Jones’ locker than within the company of that toxic cesspool of a Royal Family. Still, Alan wanted to make sure Pim was alright so even if he wasn’t ordered to join the search party, he willingly set out to look for his friend.