#ugh i love all the angel drama

[foxmulderautism]

now cutting to castiel staring like that when anna kisses dean was just evil

[cowboyhorsegirl]

Cas being sooooo, Cas and all the other Angels just kinda being people really hits home how much of Castiel came from Misha making Choices™ vs the writing. Like Cas does have some more grandiose and flowery speech at the beginning, but so much of his otherworldly-ness is how he’s being played and you can kinda see how when Uriel and then Angel Anna is introduced there’s still this level of formality that’s in these characters but it’s way less then Cas and by the time Zachary gets there it’s “Angels are just some guys” because that’s easier to write lol

(I think the other excuse is Cas hasn’t been on Earth through the ages as much as other angels? But yeah they didn’t seem to have much of a plan for how angels would actually BE since Misha was asked to play Cas as a demon and then SURPRISE! now play him as an angel and Misha made something up on the spot and got stuck with it)

i really cannot fathom how much input jensen and misha had on their characters, how much of spn is due to their Choices and Decisions

[houpss]

𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

soft and fluff, will be about all members (!), there may be hints of smut

Chan, who sees the meaning of life in you and wants to see you always in front of him all his life.

What do they say? People who truly love will die one day.

Chan, who promised to love you until the day death finds him, and even after that. He doesn't want to leave you.

The most tender dates, the most tender times. He will give you all his love and attention.

Chan, who tells the members so much about you, you are their “9th member”

Chan, who you're talking to video call with his family! and btw with yours too.

Chan, who, regardless of how busy the day is, will spend the evenings with you. Whether it's cooking or watching a movie/serials/k drama

Chan, who remembers every little thing about you and does what you don’t even ask for, but are clearly thinking about.

Meeting Chan was fate, maybe you were given each other by fate?

Oh..he looks at you like an angel, his eyes shine so brightly when he sees you!

Chan, who gives you a large bouquet of your favorite flowers every Friday.

He writes you songs, from the sad to the most vulgar... oh, the boy is simply overwhelmed with emotions for you.

Chan, who takes you on all his world tours because he finds it difficult without you.

He is the most gentle and sweetest with you! your heart literally breaks with love for him, you want to love and kiss this man.

Chan, who sits you on his lap while he works and holds your waist with one hand...babe, he has hot and big hands

Chan, who pays for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING for you. seriously, even if you argue with him.

I wrote this situation, but...

"Channie, make me some coffee please"

"Ugh...I'm late, little mouse"

"So you won't do it? :("

"That means I’ll be late” and goes to make coffee for his beloved woman/man

His favorite terms of endearment for you are subtle but classic: “sweetheart” and “baby,” but on special occasions he will call you “sweetheart” with a matching saccharine expression. Or “little mouse”, which is also very cute

Chan, sometimes he can get angry and yell at you, but that's because he puts too much pressure on himself at work.

Oh..during your quarrels even plates and insults fly. After one quarrel, there were broken plates and you cut yourself, he noticed this and took you to the bathroom, where he treated the wound and apologized to you almost a hundred times. And the plates...buy new ones.

Chan, who practices flirting with you like you're in high school, but he learned it from STAY

Chan, who gives you all his hoodies and absolutely everything... for some reason you love to steal his shorts and walk around the house in them. Ooh, he thinks they fit really sexy on your hips.

He'll give you a bear hug when you sleep, he's a big spoon

He also always kisses your forehead when he leaves for work, because you are still sleeping, and he is already leaving.

but keep in mind, Chan makes sweet sex to you, but his stroking game is so crazy, even when he takes his time with you, he's so deep inside you that it drives you crazy, you're literally pray

Chan is an experienced and mature man, he is completely confident in himself and in you. He takes the leading position in the relationship, he is the one who leads.

Do I need to tell you that all his things smell like your perfume? What if all your things are in his perfume?

You sometimes help him with lyrics or with song arrangements when he gets stuck and doesn’t understand what’s best to add.

You, who pulls the vat out of the studio.

You, who always checks how he ate or how much he slept. You absolutely monitor his regime and make sure he doesn’t overwork.

You are flying to Australia together to visit his family! they will bless your couple.

Hannah will definitely say funny things about Chris, and Lucas is so shy around you.

Oh...Berry, baby Berry 🥹🥹🥹

How about date nights?

You really raised Chan's self-esteem, with you...he fell in love with himself, just as you love him.

He's just grateful that you exist.

First love is always last love.

“Home” is not a place, it is sometimes only a man, the man whom you consider your home.

When you come, all Chan’s problems and wounds heal, he wants to live next to you.

[woniverse-writes]

"Moth to a Flame (part 1.5)"

Bada Lee x Reader

part 1 ⟵ part 1.5 ⟶ part 2

series masterlist

summary: all teams react to the first episode of street woman fighter season 2

word count: 1.7k

warnings: surprisingly no swearing lol, uhhhm I don't think there are actually any warnings for this chapter, not proofread

The members of Jam Republic settle in on the couches and chairs of the dance studio lounge room surrounded by staff as they get ready to watch the premier of Street Woman Fighter Season 2. Kirsten already has her phone out and ready, Latrice is on face time with her brother, and Ling is taking pictures of the three youngest members as they pose and mess around. The camera crew is doing some last-minute sound and lighting checks, even though this would just be some extra reaction content posted on the choom’s YouTube channel. 

A few miles away was team Bebe, were all cuddled up together on their couch in the Just Jerk studio lounge. They were waiting for Tatter and Minah to arrive, seeing as they were both in a class at the moment, but both were supposed to get there right as the show would be starting. They were offered some energy drinks while waiting, which the team gladly took.

Once the show started playing everyone was screaming and cheering in excitement, all phones having pulled out to record the introduction. After getting past the initial shock of seeing themselves on TV, the girls returned to their seats and got comfortable again. The team introductions and reactions were shown first leaving some laughing in annoyance at the reminder of the comments, while others stressed out about the things they had said only for the sake of the competition.

When Jam Republic came on the screen an uproar in almost every single team space occurred. They all restated their previous positive opinions of the team- like how Kirsten was well-known, Audrey had the face of an angel, and y/n was a princess. But they also brought up y/n’s initial anger issues. They all remember how scary she seemed back then, and now they all laugh at it because while it is still scary, she’s very cute. The editors put scary music over her at first when she started glaring, but then cut to her pouting a few minutes later and put a kitten meow over it, which caused y/n to roll her eyes and giggle while all of her teammates burst out laughing. The reactions of other teams were quite similar with them all dying laughing as well and calling her cute.

“Our baby” Tatter cooed making grabby hands at the screen, causing everyone else to tether giggle or chime in. Bada surprisingly didn’t really say much, she just smiled and giggled, looking extremely in love

They show Bada and redy’s battle and jam republic is reliving their emotions that occurred a few months prior when the show was shot. y/n giggles and leans on her hand hiding behind it as she rewatches the scene. she smiles shyly at the older girl’s moves, reacting much more tamed this time compared to her original reaction. Said reaction was aired immediately after the battle ended, including the part where Kirsten pointed out her intense blush which caused her and all her teammates to laugh, y/n somewhat lowering her head and laughing softly in embarrassment. they also happened to air what was said shortly after when y/n said “The way she got up in Redy’s face- UGH I WOULD’VE DIED” causing y/n’s eyes to widen briefly before she immediately buried her face in her hands as the rest of jam republic died of laughter

Team Bebe’s reaction to the battle was as usual- hyping Bada up and laughing over the drama, but they were definitely more interested in the reactions, especially y/n’s. When the screen panned to the small girl with her hand on her forehead as she stood in a daze, the blue team instantly burst out laughing, including Bada who had no idea this was how y/n had been reacting to her. Then as they heard her say she would’ve died if Bada got in her face as she did with redy, Bada hid behind her hands and smiled embarrassedly as her teammates ‘ooh’ed and teased her

“With that logic, I can’t believe she’s still alive…” Lusher mumbled but everyone heard it, causing another uproar of jeers and claps from the team

“I can’t believe I didn’t listen to you back then” Bada muttered still hiding behind her hands as she glanced over to Lusher, who just smirked and shrugged her shoulders. Shortly after that the battle between y/n and Lusher comes on and the editing overdramatizes the whole thing making it seem like y/n was going to pick Bada by adding long pauses and cuts in between her words.

Everyone thought your interaction beforehand with Lusher was cute, as you shook hands and wished each other good luck- seeing as your reaction was that of a slightly breathless fangirl who just met her celebrity crush. Other teams giggled and cooed at your bright smile and wide eyes

“y/n just looks so happy to be there-” Lia Kim said with an endeared smile and the rest of her team agreed all sharing a similar reaction. Bebe is hyping Lusher up even as they rewatch the battle that already occurred, loving how fired up she had gotten during it- It showed the part where she ruffled y/n’s hair before the switch and everyone freaked out

“I hope you know I really thought about killing you for a hot second in that moment…” Bada joked with Lusher who chuckled and nodded her head

“I did it more so to provoke you than her” the younger girl responded causing her leader to scoff and roll her eyes while letting out a sarcastic ‘of course’- but when y/n started dancing lusher was the first to get even more hyped

“YEEEAH THAT’S MY BABY GIRL” the girl was hyping up her then-opponent, now-friend, as if she weren’t the one in a battle against her. Her team laughed at her antics before they all began excitedly chattering about how amazing of a battle it was, and how y/n’s power and personality were showcased perfectly. And just like y/n’s reaction was aired, Bada’s gay panic sent every single member of every team into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when it was shown immediately following y/n’s ‘razzi shots’ move

“Oh my god, I’m crying- that was the funniest thing ever” Redlic wiped tears from her eyes, still trying to calm her laughter.

“I never thought I’d see Bada react like that” Mina Myoung stated, amused and lowkey satisfied by the usually cool leader’s anything-but-cool reaction.

“We’re usually the ones reacting to Bada like that, so it’s definitely refreshing seeing that she really is just like us-” “and toward y/n, which is absolutely justifiable” the two biggest y/n supporters- Redy and Harimu- conversed aloud. Of course, other teams’ reactions were shown to her dancing, but the editing specifically highlighted Bada fumbling to pull herself together as y/n sexily finished her half of the battle. Just like everyone else, team Bebe was laughing hysterically- all except their dear leader of course, who was now curled into a ball on the couch, covering her head with her arms as she hid behind Lusher and screamed in denial

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY REACTED LIKE THAT” Bada screamed into Lusher’s shoulder as her members only laughed harder at her muffled stress

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY AIRED IT” Minah responded practically crying with how hard she was cackling. When Jam Republic saw it they all freaked out as well but screamed and shook y/n around as she sat shell-shocked in her spot in between Audrey and Emma on the couch. y/n’s eyes were as wide as possible as her jaw practically lay on the floor. They ended up having to pause the episode because even the older members couldn’t bring themselves to calm down. y/n sat completely zoned out for the next seven-ish minutes, trying to calm down her heated face. While Bada was also zoned out for a while, it was because she was having an internal mental breakdown.

The episode ended right as Lia Kim and Mina Myoung were about to battle, leaving the audience in suspense as they wouldn’t be airing it until the following week, which left everyone annoyed but excited for the next episode. After it ended, everyone debriefed for a few moments but they were mostly talking about the connections. The teams discussed how there was a lot of history between certain contestants- like Mina Myoung and Lia Kim, Bada and Redy, and then Harimu and Redlic. After talking about the old relationships, they all somehow managed to have similar conversations about building new connections with other dancers

“I was surprised at how reactive Bada was, especially towards y/n…” Mina Myoung snickered, still grinning away at the thought of Bada losing her composure.

“Yeah but everyone was reactive toward y/n-” Gooseul commented in reaction, but was immediately cut off 

“Right, but Bada is usually pretty chill and reserved… her reactions to that girl were anything but reserved” They all laughed and agreed

In the Jam Republic space, all the members were doing the same as every other team by debriefing.

“I think we got a pretty positive reaction out of them!” Kirsten happily noted with a lifted tone of voice

“We definitely proved them wrong, especially with our secret weapons-” Emma moved to ruffle Audrey's hair while squeezing y/n, causing the two youngest to complain but the older members to chuckle.

“I guess they did really like us, huh y/n?” Audrey smugly observed and prompted the other to respond

“Hm, it sure seemed like it.” the youngest chuckled with raised eyebrows, still slightly in shock by how much cooler she looked on TV- loving how she could see everyone’s reaction and hear their comments. It really boosted her ego when she realized that was Bada’s first impression of her… they had known each other for a while now, so it was pretty normal for her to see the older girl have similar reactions to the ones she did in the episode- but it didn’t hit y/n right away that this was all months ago before the two girls really knew each other. They had been through a lot since then and were still recovering from some of it, but y/n and Bada definitely had a better understanding of each other now.

taglist (open): @tinybada @angel-hyuckie @violetinferno @jesuschrist2006 @1luvkarina @uwulyn @justandloyal2961 @deadgirlwalking3 @heeheemich @squidvoldyvoid @vivzyo @ouhaika @jksjx @ocyeanicc @marianamartinsthings @jxrdxnh @luvjanexx @lorenztired @khjssss @heavenlycloud @loisje123 @starchasermyloves @zhivaxo @grinnwolph @notyourd0lly @stinkbvgs @nermandiiiii-blog @abllucena @arujee @idontknownemore @thatgayinsomniac @l-a-u-r-a--b @fruitr0llup @cgriffin9797-blog @woooooya @kaaylvst @ssc7514 @astoreea @linda-botello @kpopgirl-97 @erikook @majookim @okjaeminn @misszoldyc @sammisregrets @jysai @moonsvrse @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @aestrelle19 @laaaasanielzz @randomhoex @tswisal1 @leasha25823 @unpretty-reader @charlesswife

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[gbearyacorn]

I Turned The Corner 🔞

(A companion to Black Coffee)

Summary :

The Radio Demon enjoys his life for the most part. He’s set up shop at Princess Morningstar’s pet project, the Hazbin Hotel (Haha! He named it), and has been enjoying watching the residents flail about in search of connection. Unfortunately one day, Angel Dust brings a certain picture show to ‘show and tell’ and well..

Chapter 1: Wherein the Radio Demon Acquires a Kink

If you haven’t read Black Coffee yet, you should be fine- you may just miss out on some context and it’s from the reader’s perspective instead of Al’s. So this idea is what made me start writing Black Coffee. Like, what if Alastor watched consensual torture porn? I think he’d be like hey can I get in on that? Well, minus the porn part.

“Ah, my good fellow! A fine evening, isn’t it?” The Radio Demon was accustomed to the shaking terror he induced, and it never failed to make the sinister smile that adorned his face spread wider. The large rhinoceros trembled as he stuttered out a greeting, and Alastor bent in front of the display with a hum.

“Tell me, do you happen to have any venison in today? I just love the flavor!”

“Y-yes sir! I just received a fresh shipment this morning! What cut and weight would you like?”

The laughter and track that burst forth only served to scare the butcher even more. “I’ll take it all, my friend. No need to worry about cut,” he clarified, and the rhino’s face lit up. “Yes sir! I have two unprocessed bucks, if that works for you.”

Alastor’s crimson eyes narrowed in delight- his favorite! He heard the squeak the butcher let out and fixed his face to be more pleasant. It wouldn’t do to terrify his source of meat. “Splendid! I’ll take them!”

He snapped the carcasses into his stasis dimension and handed over his money before bidding the butcher a pleasant evening. As he turned he noticed a small demon opening the door and he reached for the handle to hold it open for her.

“Excuse me, my dear,” he spoke, grinning down at the canine. Definitely not his favorite species- but a favorite to collect the skulls and pelts of. What surprised him though was her reaction, or lack thereof to be more specific. Oh sure, her eyes widened in recognition, but she smiled back at him! Oh, that little pup wouldn’t be smiling so sweetly at him if she knew what he did to demons like her.

“Pardon me, sir. Have a lovely evening.”

Well, canine or not, at least the pretty dear had manners- he supposed he could spare this one. Besides, the little demon was obviously of fairer means. She wasn’t to his tastes.

“And to you, my dear,” he replied before walking out, his steps giddy in anticipation of the lovely dinner and breakfast he would have.

———————-

———————

“Fine! I guess I’ll just have ta fuck the information outta ya!”

“Do your worst… Daddy.”

Ugh, it would seem that wretched spider was deeply misunderstanding the assignment of ‘show and tell’. Alastor’s smile faltered as he waited for the adult picture show to finish or be turned off before walking into the lobby. He stayed in the hallway and listened gleefully to Husker list off everyone’s personal faults until Angel’s baiting flirt set the feline off.

Alastor decided it was safe to enter to enjoy the unfolding drama and seated himself across from Nifty, who looked far too entertained by the picture box. ‘Just don’t look, at least the speaker is turned off.’

His thoughts were interrupted by an aggravated, but excited Angel Dust waving a disc in his face. Holding a gloved hand up to get the spider to back away, his head cocked in confusion.

“I bet this one’s right up your alley, Smiles!” Angel winked playfully and Alastor had to fight to keep his smile on. The thought of enjoying anything produced by the spider was laughable, but not something he would entertain.

“My friend, I can assure you that if it involves… human interest, that I have no interest in viewing-“

Angel had already inserted the disc, and the video began playing. Ears pinning down in disgust, Alastor looked away as his eyes narrowed. He hated his wishes being ignored, especially when it came to such intimate matters. For something that everyone else seemed to hold so sacred, they sure were eager to thrust it onto others.

“You once said that you would do anything to fulfill my desires… Is… that still true?”

An ear twitched and swiveled to the picture box as his curiosity got the better of him. He knew that voice from somewhere, but who was it?

“Of course babydoll. What, you want me to kill someone for you?” Huh, now if murder is the theme, that he could get behind! The feminine voice giggled and as his eyes locked on the screen, his features froze.

“As much as I love to see your bloodlust, darling, I was thinking maybe…” The demon he saw at the butcher shop a few weeks ago was playing shy with the spider, pressing her fangs into her finger as she blushed and looked away. Alastor cocked his head, raising an eyebrow in question at Angel and the spider waved for him to just keep watching as he went to sit down. Rolling his eyes, Alastor turned back to the screen.

“What’s your desire, sweetheart?” Angel asked his costar, and Alastor had to admit he was impressed with the spider’s acting skills. If he’d not known better, he would think Angel was genuinely in love with the woman. ‘She certainly is a lovely creature.’ The thought surprised him slightly- it was rare that he considered people beautiful, and even then it was in the way one would consider a work of art beautiful. He had never been interested in holding another in the way people so often wanted to be held. He’d stopped with that farce once he’d landed in Hell.

“W-Will you flay me?” The woman scrunched her eyes closed in embarrassment, a cute blush flaring against her cheeks. Okay, so not murder, but color Alastor officially interested. An audible crack sounded as his head turned to look at Angel behind him.

“Is this one of Valentino’s funny ideas?” There was a burning pain in his gut as he did his best to remain chipper. There was no way this actress was filming something like this willingly.

The sound of Angel’s laughter filled the lobby, and Alastor felt a chill run down his spine. “No way! Even Val is scared of Vixen!” The spider devolved into a fit of laughter, confusing the radio demon even further as he turned back to watch the scene play out.

“Vixy, wha- what are you saying? I can’t skin you; I could never hurt you!” Angel cupped her face and pet her hair gently as she looked down ashamed.

“I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t mean to upset you. I… I was just thinking out lou-“ Angel crashed his lips against his costar (Vixen? Vixy? One of those) and rolled his hips against her in a way that had Alastor cringing before he spoke.

“If that’s what you really want, you have to tell me why,” Angel growled his line and the actress moaned out her response as if it were her deepest yearning. “I want to see you wear my pelt,” that sweet voice sent his blood to rushing as he stared intently at the demure actress. A vixen, that’s what she was.

“The thought of you surrounded in my fur… It makes me want to pull you so deep inside me you never leave.” Oh, sweet Satan that sounded just delicious coming from those luscious obsidian lips.

An uncomfortable warmth bloomed in his lap, and Alastor clenched his hand over his cane, crimson gaze narrowing at the screen as the scene played on. This was something he’d not felt since his human life, and even then he’d never felt such an urge in response to erotic pictures or shows. It was simply biology- a filthy need to be quickly taken care of and forgotten. Even his rut season was just a foul mood. This… this was new. He didn’t know what to do with this information, filing the thought away for later examination.

“Fuuuck… Well, when you put it that way, how can I deny you?” Alastor had to agree with Angel’s line, crossing his legs as he did his best to relax his posture and leaned on his knuckles.

“Uhhhh, Angel? Are we watching a snuff film?” Vaggie asked as she held Charlie.

“Of course not! Snuff films are all about unwilling murder victims. Vixy came to me wanting her pelt removed.” Angel grinned slyly, and Alastor heard Vaggie groan out in frustration. His attention was focused solely on the dancing vixen as she gave the camera a strip show. Her blood red tail swished with her large hips, her hands trailing up her curves to lift and flair out her long white hair. He was transfixed.

He didn’t know when Angel left, or when Charlie followed- his eyes never left the bloody scene playing on the picture box. The little vixen had transformed into an actual fox, and was sitting still, completely conscious and focused on Angel as he cut into her flesh; slowly but surely, he pulled the lovely pelt from her muscles. Her screams were genuine and primal, obviously painful. So why did she ask for this? It certainly didn’t seem pleasurable to her. And why film it? Well, that question was answered easily enough- for profit, of course!

His day flashed by as he considered his reaction to the picture show. Would he watch it again to see if he could replicate the feelings it elicited? Did he want to feel that way again?

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Alastor picked up his pace as he ran through his bayou dimension, tackling the earth buck he’d spirited away and sank his fangs into the flesh. He couldn’t get that little vixen out of his head- the sweet way she asked to be flayed alive and her moaned out reasoning, the eerie music of her animal screams.

He shredded his meal as he consumed the deer, blood spraying across his suit- no matter, he was very good at cleaning up after himself. When finished with his food, that hunger still nagged at him, and he slammed his fist into any tree he could find. Why did that wretched spider have to show him that stupid picture show? Why did he decide to watch it? He could’ve just shadowed out, walked away, destroyed that damnable box!

He hadn’t wanted to though. And damn it all, he actually wanted to watch it again! Even better, he wanted to offer that lovely creature that starred in it a deal to be her butcher- what he would give to rip that lovely fur from her as she screamed for him.

Wait… what would she want if he offered such a deal? What if she wanted romantic or sexual intimacy in exchange? Money, he could do, a few souls perhaps, but that? He knew he was considered attractive to the local cannibettes, and he was more than confident in his ability to satisfy, but just the thought of having to have relations just to be able to rip off some flesh… Well, he supposed that deal would be equally painful for each party. ‘You know you want to rip her apart in more ways than one,’ his shadow chittered at him, wicked grin spread wide.

What was it, exactly, that he wanted? He may have felt a fleeting desire, but what would he feel when face to face with the vixen once again? ‘Especially after seeing every delectable part of her body.’ Ugh, best not to think of that- she was probably used to rabid fans gandering at her.

He needed to kill something. He needed to rip flesh apart and crush bones. With a roaring bellow, his claws slashed at the bark of a felled tree as his form began to grow and contort. He needed to release this energy, and there were only so many animals that fell through his earth traps. If it weren’t for the constraints of his soul contract, he’d have no problem finding wretched souls to slaughter.

Alastor stalked toward another felled tree, his sinister aura darkening the environment around him. Wrapping large hands around the trunk, he snarled and crushed every piece until nothing remained but dust.

He just needed patience. With time, he would forget about the god-forsaken picture show. It was times like this he wished he felt the need to sleep. As the hours passed, the eldritch horror stalked through the shadows of his bayou in search of more prey. For the night is long and filled with terrors, and this terror was fucking hungry.

[biancadjarin]

ʚ Send Me an Angel ɞ

- pairing: mean!eddie munson x bratty!henderson older sister!female reader

- content warning: 18+ nothing too graphic, but I prefer no minors on my blog, thankssss

- a/n: idk what this is lol, I just love fem/bratty reader and intimidating/mean Eddie <3

“Ugh why do your weird nerdy friends have to come here Dusty??” you pout at your little brother as you lay on your stomach on your bed, him staring at you from your doorway.

“I told you, the drama kids are putting on a play or some shit so we can’t play D&D in there.” He says to you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Just stay in here, my friends don’t wanna listen to your stupid shows on the TV or watch you dance around to your girly music.” He slams your door shut and your head shoots up off a pillow, shocked at how rude he can be. You scoff and roll onto your back, eyes growing heavy and leading you into your after school nap.

You’re rudely awakened by loud laughter and yelling. You look at the pink clock on your wall. 6:05pm. Their little game has only been going for 5 minutes and you’re already annoyed. You get up and head to your door, swinging it open and heading towards the bathroom for a quick shower before you go make yourself some dinner.

“C’mon Eddie, I wanna cast a spell, hurry up and roll!” you hear Mike Wheeler yell. Little twerp just like your brother. Always running into the house, tracking in dirt, leaving their bikes in the drivew… Wait. Eddie. Eddie’s here. In your dining room. You’ve had a crush on Eddie all year and while you two have talked here and there, you’d be lying if you said his harsh leather metal head look didn’t scare you a bit. You’re all soft edges, pink backpack, frilly white socks rolled over your reeboks, soft hair swaying. You’re not perfect, certainly no Phoebe Cates. But you know you’re pretty, plush lips over straight teeth, cute perky boobs and a butt that jiggles when you walk.

You’ve felt Eddie’s eyes on you at school. Once he even bumped into you when you stopped short to tie your shoe. “Walk much?” Eddie said to you with a glare. “Oh!” You’d said as you spun around, surprised at his proximity. “S-sorry.” You said sweetly, his big brown eyes stared at you and made your tummy flutter in the most amazing way. Your tummy isn’t flat and perfect but that’s ok. You like cookies too much, is that a crime?!

“Actually since you’re here, can you hold my books while I tie my shoes?” you’d asked, voice smooth and sweet like syrup. Eddie stared at you for a second then put out his hands. You assumed that meant yes so you handed him your heavy textbooks. You turned and bent forward, ass almost grazing his crotch. The way the fabric of your white jeans stretched across your cute little butt made him stop breathing. Eddie’s mind went blank, mouth going dry and fingers going numb from the weight. Your textbooks slipped out of his hands and hit the floor with a slam. You squeaked a scared little scream and stood back up quickly. “Shit are you okay?” Eddie asks you as he drops down and picks the books back up, placing them gently into your small hands. “I’m fine. Was just loud. Scared me.” He chuckled, eyes narrowed and and flickered with mischief, making you wonder if he did that on purpose. “I’m sorry angel… I mean-” Your reaction to his nickname for you got cut short when you jumped for the second time in the last two minutes thanks to the class bell ringing. “Gotta go.” Eddie said with a wink before racing past you, your face red with embarrassment.

You giggle at the memory as you exit the shower. Quickly running back to your room to get ready, you think to yourself: How can I get Eddie’s attention but not let him know he has mine? I think he likes me but I don’t wanna look too desperate. Gotta tease him a bit… You curl your lashes and put on your sparkly pink lipgloss. You open your closet and weigh your options… tight jeans?… but you want Eddie to see your panties. A dress? that’s a little too obvious… your fingers reach for your soft pink frilly mini skirt that has a matching jacket that your friend borrowed and never gave back. You slip it on, white and pink lace panties underneath with a scalloped edge that hug your ass just right. A simple white T shirt that’s slightly see through over a matching pink and white lace bra and a couple sparkly silver necklaces finish your outfit. Barefoot you begin to creep downstairs, the sounds of boys whooping and dice hitting your wooden dining room table growing louder as you ascend.

“So uh, where’s your sister D?” you hear one of the boys ask. You stop on the second to last step, leaning in to listen. It’s not Eddie’s voice, but too deep to be Mike or Lucas’s. “Up in her room, she’s so annoying.” You roll your eyes. “Maybe..” Gareth grumbles. “But I certainly don’t mind lookin’ at her.” Everyone busts out into laughter except your brother. “Ew dude gross! Shut up, it’s your turn.” “Yeah G,” you finally hear Eddie’s voice, it sounds deep and tight like he’s clenching his jaw. “Roll the dice before I write you out of this whole campaign.” “Jeez fine. I got a 12.” “Not enough, you lose 18 hit points.” “What the fuck man!”

As the game continues you saunter past the table, only turning your head once to smile and wave politely at the group. You feel Eddie’s eyes follow you all the way to the kitchen. Their conversation continues on, sounding further away now. You begin to warm up some rice and leftover chicken, mixing up a strawberry lemonade while the microwave whirs. As you watch the yellow drink turn pink you feel a warmth encroach your space, the smell of weed and cinnamon gum filling your nostrils.

“Hey y/n.. didn’t know you were here.” Eddie says as he stands behind you. Closer than what would be considered normal. You spin around, big doe eyes looking up and meeting his, small silver spoon that you were mixing with coming up to your lips and sucking, savoring the tangy powder. His eyes fall to your mouth, half hooded, eyebrows raising slightly. You pull it out slowly and lick the tip of it with your tongue, before saying “I live here. Where else would I be?” in your bratty tone.

He shrugs his shoulders, “Friday night, thought maybe you’d be on a date.” He says with a crooked smile. Does he think about me going on dates? He crowds closer into your space, you feel the countertop at your back as you lean against it. “Nope. No date. Maybe you can set me up with one of your friends?” you say as you look past him, over his shoulder towards where Hellfire is. “My friends? You wanna date one of us?” “I don’t know.. maybe. You think they’d be interested?” you ask him confidently but your heart is beating so fast, your breath uneven, chest rising with every shaky inhale. BEEEEEP. The microwave signals behind you. “Eddie! You done in the bathroom yet?!” you hear your brother yell from down the hall. “Sounds like you’re needed out there.” You say to him, beginning to slide past him. His hand shoots up to grab your hip and maneuver you back. Caged in by him.

“Yeah, gimme five minutes!” He yells over his shoulder. You stare up at him, unsure what he’s going to do. He reaches behind you picking up your pink lemonade and drinks the whole thing in one long sip. You watch as his neck stretches back and his adams apple bobs when he swallows. The pale smooth skin of his neck looking irresistibly bite-able. “Sweet. Like you.” He says, low and gravelly. He puts the glass down and drops his chin to his chest, looking at the small space between your bodies. “Is this a skirt or a belt? So fuckin’ short I thought I saw some ass when you walked by.” “Maybe I wanted your friend to see. What’s his name? With the curls… Gareth?” Eddie snorts and throws his head back with a mock laugh. “Gareth wouldn’t know what to do with you.” His eyes sweep down your neck, your chest and stop at where the thin fabric of your shirt and lace bra are barely doing anything to cover the pebbled peaks of your nipples. “Oh and you know what to do with me?” you ask, eyebrows raising condescendingly. He exhales a low growl before reaching to grab the back of your squishy thighs and lifting you up onto the counter.

“I’d have a lot of fun finding out-” he leans forward, hands softly grasping the back of your calves, thumbs rubbing up and down the smooth skin as he guides them to rest around his thighs. “Angel.” he says with a wink. You feel a shudder go through you, ending at your core and making you ache between your legs. Eddie’s standing between your spread thighs, the rough fabric of his black jeans rubbing against your legs as he talks. Everything about him feels so warm. “Listen to me real good now.” He says, lips brushing the shell of your ear causing goosebumps to erupt down the whole left side of your body. “You’re going to eat your little snack. Then go back upstairs to your room and wait for me. Think you can do that?” He doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s backing away and walking back down the hallway. “EDDIE COME OOON!” Gareth yells. “Comin’!” He says back, wide smirk dancing on his lips.

You’re left in the kitchen wondering what just happened and what you just got yourself into…

Part 2 HERE

Masterlist HERE

——————Thanks for reading!—————

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬

𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)

genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉

word count: 4.7k

summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.

a/n: ugh I'm FINALLY starting to write/post this... it feels like I've been stewing over this single idea for MONTHS lmao!! 😩😭 a big thanks to all of my amazing stay writer friends in the writer's club... ya'll are so fucking lovely and I adore you're continual support of my work!! 🥹 I have no idea how many parts this will be, but I'm anticipating for it to be at least 20.k words so... there's that haha! hope ya'll enjoy, and lmk what you think - your thoughts are always welcome! 💞

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

“Hey Y/N, can you please get the next table? I think Jordan just seated another customer.” Your best friend Yeji asked you in a light, cheery voice. She was walking past you into the kitchens, both hands full of dirty dishes, her midnight black hair blowing in the breeze that rushed into the restaurant from the open windows that lined the entire place. 

 “Sure thing babe!” You gave her a playful wink, offering up a faint smile before you finished helping ring up another customer’s order. 

 Just like every other weekend, your parent's restaurant - Angel Waves - was bustling with activity, as a solid line formed outside the doors with patrons waiting to snag a seat in the popular joint. A mix between a tropical tiki bar and a fish shack, Angel Waves - or AW for short - was located just off of the beach. With a wrap-around porch and huge bay windows that offered stunning views of the beautiful cerulean sea just a few feet away, AW had been a critically-acclaimed restaurant by the locals for decades. 

 Initially, it had been your father’s dream to open up a restaurant. But then he married your mother, and things took off soon after the wedding. In no time at all, she was pregnant with you while simultaneously helping your father build the restaurant from the ground up. To date, he had added three more parts to the place, making it rather expansive. With the bright neon signs and fire-burning torches that lined the perimeter of it, AW could be spotted on the shoreline from miles away. The inside was decorated rather plainly, with bright pops of tropical colors here and there and wooden chairs lined throughout the area. 

 But at night, the vibes of the restaurant came to life. As the patrons at the seated bar grew louder, the tropical music increased in volume and added to the overall atmosphere of laid-back tourists and locals alike. 

 Having grown up in Bridgeport Bay, which was a small seaside town in the East part of Australia, you were used to the leisurely way of things. But to some, it would seem like everyone around was just lazy. When in fact, people knew how to have a good time - and that was all that mattered to a lot of locals. 

 Including yourself. 

 Your parents had raised you in the small house that was just off the backside of the restaurant, so the tropical way of life had always been the only thing you had known. You didn’t mind living the same daily routine - waking up early to help with chores, then attending classes at the local university, before arriving back at the restaurant in time to help with the night shifts. Plus, it helped that one of your best friends, Yeji, had been working with you at the restaurant since she was a young teenager. 

 Now, at the tender age of twenty-two, you were well acquainted with your surroundings. You were set in stone about what you wanted to do with your life. And after you finished getting your degree in Environmental Science, you hoped to aid in the environmental impact of Bridgeport Bay, since environmental efforts were one of your biggest passions in life.

 As you stared around the dimly lit restaurant that was busy with customers and servers alike, you felt yourself come alive under the energy of it all. And getting a hint of the salty sea breeze on your tongue, you made to help the newest customer in placing their order. 

 The early June sun was just beginning to set over the horizon of the ocean, painting the brilliant light blue sky in shades of violets and fuchsias. Your attention was momentarily pulled away from your task at hand, as you were completely captivated by the look of the rippling water shining underneath the fading sunlight. 

 But you quickly snapped yourself out of your daze, already grabbing hold of your notepad and pen as you came up to the new table you were waiting on. Without looking up, you began to write down the time and your name on the top corner of the paper, like you always did before taking an order. “Hi, welcome to Angel Waves. My name’s Y/N and I’ll be your server. What can I get started for you tonight?” 

 There was a pause on the customer’s end, and the noise of the restaurant overtook all of your senses for a few moments, but then everything dimmed out into a faint hum as the customer spoke. 

 “Hi… Y/N.” 

 Immediately, without even giving it a second thought, your head shot up from the piece of paper on your notepad that you had been previously staring at. 

 Heart hammering in your chest, throat constricting in anxiety, with the flush already clawing up your neck and pooling in either of your cheeks. 

 All at the sight of… 

Him. 

 Lee Felix. 

 The boy that you had grown up with. The one that had moved in next door to your restaurant when you were five years old. The one who had attended preschool, middle school, and high school with you. 

 The boy who had been your best friend in the entire world for over a decade. 

 And also, the single most person whom you hadn’t talked to in over four years. 

 But no- he was no longer a boy. 

 No- as he sat there, peering up at you with that familiar face of his, you suddenly came to acknowledge the years that had passed between the two of you. 

 Evidently, his time away at university for four years in South Korea changed him. Drastically. 

 From the long, sandy bleached-blonde locks that fell across his forehead, to the milky, blemish-free skin. His eyes were darker, too. More intense. And the sharp lines of his face were almost startling - with a jaw that could cut through steel, a proud nose, and prominent cheekbones. 

 He was no longer the awkward and geeky boy he had grown up with. The boy who had short, cropped black hair in his senior year of high school and braces for three years, and cystic acne that lasted well into his junior year of high school. 

 He looked… 

 Like a fully grown man. 

 And you didn’t know how to feel about that. 

 It made your stomach turn in a sickening kind of way. Made your heart pound against your ribcage painfully. 

 He was staring up at you, watching your blatant perusal of him in silence with a ticked-up, perfectly manicured dark eyebrow. 

 But some things hadn’t changed, at least, as he flashed you that tiny, easy smile he always seemed to have plastered on his face. 

 “F-Felix- wow, hi. I-” You began, stammering over your words in your utter surprise. You felt your eyes widen from your stupid blubbering, and the panic chilled down your spine from the way that he laughed heartily at your reaction to him sitting in front of you. “It’s uh- good to see you again, holy fuck.” 

 “Yeah, you too…” He finally pulled his gaze from yours, offering you some respite from the intensity of his matured eyes. You took in a deep breath as his focus scanned over the restaurant all around you. “Glad to see this place hasn’t changed one bit since the last time I came around these parts.” 

 “What brings you back to the coast?” You asked, rocking onto the backs of your heels like you always did when you were nervous. Bridgeport Bay was a small town that was connected to a set of other ones similar to it, which all lined the same coast of Eastern Australia. 

 After all, soon before he left to study in South Korea, he had vowed to you that he’d never step foot in ‘this hellish beach town’ ever again. 

 Obviously, he had proven himself wrong. 

 He shrugged broad shoulders, making you realize how much his physique had changed too. He was fitted in a loose t-shirt and faded jeans, but you could just barely make out the outlines of muscles underneath the baggy fabric. His back was proud and he sat up completely straight in his chair, the opposite of how he used to be in your childhood - always slouched and with thin, frail limbs. He was still petite in stature, but now made up for his lack of height with muscle. Even so, he still outranked you in height by a good three inches. 

 He was acting like it was no big deal - like none of it was a big deal. Not him coming back to Bridgeport after such a long time and looking so different from how you had known him as. “I just graduated, so I decided to spend the summer back at my parent’s place before I decide what I wanna do with my life.” Felix leaned over in his seat then, leveling you with that stare he always gave whenever he was trying to get a read on your feelings. “What about you? I see you’re still working for your folks…” 

 His voice trailed off. And if you didn’t know him any better, you’d assume that he had a pretentious air about him. Sure, he was the scrawny boy that had shipped off to South Korea, only to come back four years later looking hot as hell with a solid education and most-likely loads of crazy stories to tell to everyone who’d listen. 

 You, on the other hand, were still stuck in the same position that you had always been in. Living in Bridgeport Bay, in your parent's house, and helping work the restaurant while attending school at a nearby university. 

 It was comforting, in a sense, to have the same daily routine. But you could also acknowledge the fact that Bridgeport Bay was a fairly quiet place - in other words, not much happened. Most people your age had already moved away as soon as they graduated from high school, either traveling to the big city of Sydney to get a degree or going overseas to bigger and better places.

 And there you were… still stuck in the same turquoise-walled bedroom from your childhood, with the same group of three friends, and waking to the same view every single morning. The brilliant pinks and oranges of the sunrise against the ocean water got old in about… two days. 

 Folding your arms across your chest, you almost felt like you were trying to protect yourself from him. Lee Felix, who had been your childhood best friend. But who, unbeknownst to you, had turned into this ethereal, untouchable beast of a man in the absence of your friendship. It felt foreign and odd, to have him studying you so intently with those dark eyes. “Yeah, I’m still living here in Bridge… same friends, same habits, you know how it is around these parts.” You tried to laugh off the awkwardness you suddenly felt, but your tone came out all flat and warbled. 

 Felix was still staring up at you, but this time, his gaze melted exponentially. So much so, that it suddenly felt like you were the one staring into his soul - picking apart his emotions as he sat there in front of you, head tilted up in curiosity. And the feelings you saw dance across his eyes, for just a split second, made your heart tumble in the pit of your chest. 

 “Same friends, huh?” He asked, but it wasn’t a question he was seeking an answer for. After that, his focus was yanking away from you, as he looked down at the menu before him on the table. You watched his adam’s apple bob up and down, throat constricting as he took in a sharp breath. 

 You could feel the air shift around you as soon as you mentioned friends. Because besides Yeji and Felix, the only other person you had truly had a connection with in Bridgeport Bay was… Christopher Bang. The two of you had met during your freshman year of high school and had been quite inseparable ever since. You had a raging crush on him, and apparently, he had one on you too - since he had asked you out on your first-ever date at the start of your final year in high school. 

 By the time you all were graduating from Bridgeport Bay High, you and Chris were the it couple. With him being the popular soccer jock, it was only right that you started to get popular as well - since you were the ‘hot girlfriend’ who was always hanging on his arm. Chris was nice and funny and was friends with literally all of the high schoolers in the area, so you liked being around him. 

 But the more time you spent with him, the less you spent with Felix. And by the time graduation rolled around, your friendship had suffered big time from your new relationship with Chris. Felix didn’t approve at all of the two of you guys dating. He had always waved off your swooning throughout the years as ‘hormonal imbalances,’ but as soon as the two of you became official, his entire tune changed. 

 All of a sudden, he was getting angry at you. With such a short temper, he would have outbursts during most of your hangouts. And it wasn’t until the night of your graduation that all of the building tension finally broke, like a pinprick to a fragile balloon full of water. 

 The night had ended in a colossal blow-up on both of your ends - with Felix’s anger exploding in your face and making him out to be some ugly, dark boy. And definitely, not the kid you had grown up to love and care for. During the argument, he had finally admitted that he hated Chris' guts - that he saw right through his little scheme, and he thought the guy was a horrible match for you. 

 Of course, you retaliated tenfold by throwing his singleness in his face. Since, during the entirety of your high school years, he had never once dated any girl. That insult was low for even you, and soon had him storming off the scene, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat from your stubbornness. You hadn’t listened to him the whole time, only registering the fact that he didn’t approve of you and Chris being together. Like he was your fucking dad and he needed to give his consent to every man you loved and dated. 

 And that turned out to be the last time the two of you ever saw or talked to each other for the next four years. Since just a week after graduation, Felix had completely vanished from Bridgeport Bay. When you went over to his house to make things up, his parents informed you that he’d already left for South Korea earlier than expected. 

 His absence didn’t fully register until you tried to call and text him that night, only to be left with an error message in return. Since he was moving to a different country, he needed to change his phone number. He had already informed you of such a thing weeks earlier, and the two of you had planned on setting up a special app where you could text. But the two of you had forgotten about such a detail in the business of graduation season, so there was no way to contact him. 

 Instead, you were faced with living in the wake of his departure - you were forced to relive the big fight between the two of you for months after that, rehashing things and stewing over all of the feelings again and again. And finally, after a year of being heartbroken over the shattered friendship with your best friend in the entire world, you decided to move on. 

 To bigger, and better things. 

 Like the friends you still had in Bridgeport Bay, going to university, and working at the restaurant. 

 And, Chris too. 

 Since your relationship had only blossomed from there, having quickly turned into a four-year ordeal of fun dates and long night chats and walks along the sandy beachside in the late afternoon sunset. 

 “I’ll have the salmon bowl with brown rice, please.” Felix’s deep timbre pulled you out of your daze of thought, shocking you back into the present. You were still standing there at his table, in the middle of a busy dinner rush, waiting for his order. “Oh, and a side of fried pineapple rings too.” 

 “Okay, and what kind of drink would you like with all of that?” You asked, mind turning off and zoning into work mode as you wrote down his order. “We have all kinds of-”

 “I know what you guys serve, Y/N. I’m not a complete idiot.” 

 His deadpan retort came out in that unfamiliar voice of his, automatically ripping your eyes away from your notepad. 

 And there he was, peering up at you again. 

 But this time, his eyes were a lot more hooded - darker, even. Swimming with tension, his sharp jaw pulled taut in what appeared to be annoyance. 

 Before you could even get another word out, he was speaking again. In that raspy, deep tone, and you had no idea how you could get used to all of the changes at once. “I’ll take a coke- if that’s okay.” 

 You nodded, once, your tongue feeling like lead in your mouth. It was heavy and hard to move to form any more words, so you decided against talking and just flitted away from his table altogether with his order. 

 As you were passing by the open bar, you tossed Jordan, one of your coworkers, a pointed look. “Take care of table seven for me, will ya?” You motioned with a slight tilt of your head to where Felix was sitting across from the window. 

 Jordan frowned, eyes turning to slits as soon as he registered who was sitting at the table. The two of you had never been particularly friends, since he was a few years older than you. But he had been working as a waiter/bartender at AW for the past seven years and knew all of the regulars who came by. He also knew who Felix was, and what he meant to you. 

 “The little bastard giving you any trouble, darling?” He asked in a low voice as he slid a full glass of craft beer across the porcelain countertop to a waiting elderly man. “I can take care of him if you-”

 “What? No, no,” you said frantically, waving your hands in the air to stop him from going any further. Eyes shifting back to Felix, you registered the way that he was sitting there, shoulders slightly slumped in his seat, as he stared out the large window to his left side, examining the lapping waves of the seashore. “No- I just… I can’t handle all of… that tonight.” 

 Jordan gave you a soft smile, flashing a wink your way before he was back mixing another cocktail for a new customer. “You know I’ll always cover for your ass, baby girl.” 

 You giggled quietly at his absurd pet names. You knew that he was never seriously calling you any of them, but it was more in an affectionate, brotherly kind of way. Plus, he was viscerally gay, so you never had to worry that the nicknames were ever alluding to more than just a coworker-to-coworker friendship. 

 By the time you left the bar where Jordan was busily working and filed into the kitchen, you were once again swept up in the chaos of it all. Servers and managers bustling about, chefs shouting orders out at each other. And in no time at all, your mind was drowned in your work and you no longer could hold any space for the thought of him. 

 Yeji failed to catch sight of him in her busyness, which you were thankful for. She and Felix had been friends in high school, but no one had been as close to him as you had. At least, until your colossal fight on graduation night. Then, even you weren't close to Lee Felix.

 The night passed by rather quickly, as you heeded your parent's commands and helped out with the dinner rush as best as you could - taking orders, scrubbing dishes in the back of the kitchen, and cleaning up tables after customers had left their spots. 

 By the time closing hour was nearing at eleven o'clock, most of the customers had left for the night - save for a few couples dispersed throughout the place and a rowdy group of men who had steadily gotten drunker on their liquor as the hours passed. Jordan was somehow managing them swimmingly, playing into their flirtations and pouring them drinks that were ‘on the house,’ but really, just made a bigger cut in his tip paycheck.

 You were so invested and focused on your work at the register, as you sorted through all of the orders from that night, that you failed to notice the shadow that was slinking across the wall, coming towards you steadily. 

 But finally, the dark figure was upon you and snaking two strong arms around your waist, pulling you away from the front counter and pressing your back against a chiseled chest. 

 Already sensing who it was, you giggled softly and turned your head up to look into the eyes of your boyfriend, Chris, whom you had been dating for the past five years. He had always said that he didn’t want anything ‘too serious’ and that he was happy with just dating you until the last of his days. And to be honest, you weren’t complaining all that much. 

 Although, you sometimes got bothered by the thought of never getting to marry the man you had loved for so long. Once in a while, you’d get into this odd annoying spell where you’d be angry that he never wanted to make a complete and solid life with you - and instead wanted to continue dating happily like the two of you were still in high school. 

 But in the end, you always managed to push those frustrated thoughts away, deeming everything to be alright since you could do anything if it meant living the rest of your days out with the love of your life, Chris. 

 “When did you get here?” You asked, as you reached up and twisted a few fingers through his midnight coils. They were curly and stood up at all different ends, something you had always loved about him. That, and his killer body. 

 “Just a second ago- thought I’d surprise you and take you out to dinner after your long, hard day at work…” His voice trailed off, as his hands squeezed down on your shoulders, long fingers massaging the aches and pains away. 

 You felt a sly smirk already starting to spread across your mouth as you leaned into him and pressed a wanting kiss to his lips. When you pulled away, you were talking in a quiet voice. “Give me a few minutes, I’m almost done with my sorting.” 

 Just as you tried to escape from his grasp, Chris tightened his hold over you, arms encircling your waist and pressing your ass into the front of his sweatpants. You could feel the hardness there, just through the line of the thin fabric. 

 Oh, so we wanted the night to result in that kind of date. 

“Nah- I’m not letting you go,” he mumbled in a deep voice, mouth coming close to your ear as he whispered into it, warm breath fanning against the exposed span of your neck. “Been thinking about you all day baby, want you so bad tonight…” 

 He let the rest of his words trail off, forcing an ugly blush to bleed into either of your cheeks. Then he was spinning around so that he was completely facing you. The darkness of the restaurant cast a shaded glow over his broad shoulders, as he pressed into you with a sardonic smile plastered across his face. 

 “What’s so funny, mister?” You asked, tracing a finger over the line of his jaw as he tilted down into you and gave your nose a light peck. 

 “Nothing, just… I love riling you up like this when you’re at work. Feels… exhilarating.” 

 Then you had no time to react, as his face was moving and capturing your lips up in a lustful kiss. His mouth was plush and familiar against yours, and immediately, you were melting into his firm grasp, moaning softly at the way that one of his hands trailed down the curve of your ass, squeezing the covered skin there. 

 You guys were practically making out at the front counter of the restaurant, for everyone else to see. And in most normal circumstances, you’d feel embarrassed. But at the moment, you just felt overwhelmed with love and desire for your amazing, handsome boyfriend Chris. 

 As your fingers carded through his curly locks, bringing his face closer to yours as his tongue swiped across your bottom lip, asking for entrance, your eyes shot open. Scanning the entire room, your focus caught on the front door, and the person who was slipping out of it in silence. 

 And there he was, once again.

 Lee Felix. 

 Your once-best friend, 

 Your once long-time neighbor, 

 Your once-classmate for more than ten years. 

He was standing there at the front door, halfway stepping through it. But his body was turned around so that he was staring straight at… you. As you were practically getting groped by your boyfriend in the middle of Angel Waves, as your mouth was getting absolutely devoured by Chris’ lips. 

 And the look he gave you then, as your gazes locked in a shocking bout of tension, left you feeling both furious and confused all at the same time. 

 His eyes studied your form, which was so tangled up with your boyfriend’s at the moment. And even from across the room, you could see the feelings that crossed his coffee-brown irises as he watched you in silence. 

 There was sadness there, 

 And pain, too. 

 But also… 

 An irrevocable amount of… ire too. 

 The heat of jealousy that you found there burned like fire in the back of your throat, making your heart tumble around in your chest and the butterflies to flicker around in a frenzy just inside your stomach. 

 The sight of it all forced an agonizing zap of energy to course through your veins, rising your spine and causing gooseflesh to erupt across your skin. 

 Then, as quickly as you had registered it, it was all gone. 

 And he was leaving out the front door, the bell at the top of the glass jingling in the remaining trace of his departure. 

 There you stood, having to deal with the confusion that bled through your mind and the anxious jumbling that floated around your entire body. 

 And the worst part about it? 

 Was that the entire time, you had never stopped kissing Chris. 

 Never stopped yanking on his locks, allowing Chris to take parts of you in front of everyone else. 

 In front of… him. 

 You had continued to feverishly make out with your boyfriend, all the while your attention had been distracted on Lee Felix, and the way that he had stared at you so wholly and starkly. 

 Almost like, the two of you were playing in a silent battle of the wits. 

 With him, having always disapproved of your relationship with Christopher Bang. 

 And you, having been in love with Chris for the past eight years. 

 In the end, you had chosen your respective sides - what with you dating the love of your life, and Felix sitting on the sidelines, giving you an air of rebuttal as he stared on in barely masked disgust. 

 But you didn’t care what he thought. You weren’t living for him and you didn’t give two shits about any of his opinions. Especially after everything that had happened and from the way that you hadn’t spoken in literal years. 

 Yeah, you definitely didn’t care about what he thought. 

 So why, then, did the look he give you just before he left the restaurant, cause your heart to race so much? 

 Why did it cause a cold sweat to break out across your brow?

 Why did it flood your mind so much, that you could no longer focus on anything else? 

 Like an intoxicating drug, like the most lethal of poisons, he was infecting your entire being. 

 With his changed physique and persona and voice and… everything. 

 But especially, the way that he had glanced at you so sardonically. 

 So darkly. 

 So painfully. 

 So… 

 Sinfully. 

To be continued...

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[rius-cave]

When Lilith returns to Hell, Lucifer sides with her, and goes back to her.

It makes sense of course. She was the love of his life, his wife, the person he gave everything up for. And likely he had an emotionally dependence on her.

He and Adam weren't in a relationship, but they were hooking up, and the very day Lilith came back, Adam was going to confess he had romantic feelings for him.

But he feels like he can't be upset. Angel, his best friend, tries to help him, to show him that it's okay to have emotions.

Meanwhile Lucifer is very confused why Angel went from giving him small smiled and being giddy, to being pissed and hating him.

I love how we're making drama between Lucifer and Angel just on behalf of Adam LMAOOO those guys barely interacted in canon but you bet your ass we're making them go through shit.

Ugh.. the concept of Lucifer STILL going back to Lilith even he's been hooking up with Adam fucking BREAKS MY SOUL because GOD FUCKING DAMMIT YEAH HE WOULD.

At least if it was early enough into their relationship when feelings would not be really part of the equation yet. Jesus thank God Adam has an ANGEL who watches over him because lord knows he'd need a buddy for all this.

[luciferfemme]

NOT soft

“Ya know Smiles, ya talk a big game an’ all but after seein’ ya I think ya all bark and no bite. Deep down I betcha a big ol’ softie.” 

Alastor growled and several things happened in quick succession, he grabbed onto Angel’s lapels and shoved him hard against the wall of the hall they were standing in, their faces pressed mere inches from one another, his eyes were radio dials and his voice was laced with angry static. “I am not a softie!” He growled. “I am the Radio Demon, I am not soft, soft is a four letter word." Angel stared up into his eyes, heart racing in his chest for reasons that were far beyond fear. “Got it?” 

“U-understood,” Angel replied. 

Alastor’s chuckled, “Lovely.” 

"Ugh would you two idiots get a room already?" Vaggie snapped rolling her eyes as she walked past them. Alastor reared back away from Angel as though he'd been burned at her words, a screech of radio feedback echoing throughout the hotel shattering several windows before he disappeared into the shadows. "What a fuckin' drama queen," Vaggie shook her head and turned around leaving Angel alone in the hallway not sure what to make of the whole ordeal or the feelings he had been left with in the aftermath of the whole event.

[mydeerfellow]

Ye Mighty, Lay Down Your Arms

synopsis:

Rosie, as a professional fixer-upper, just wants to fix up Alastor. Inside AND out. Alastor just wants a few stitches, not the Spanish Inquisition. Vox just wants to play N64

AO3 link

It took a special sort of stupidity to cross into the Cannibal Colony with an open wound, where even the youngest child had a nose as good as any dog, and the populace was prone to swarming any potential meal. Yet, Alastor didn’t have much choice, and so he hurried his pace as well as he could without spraying blood everywhere, which would be problematic on a number of levels.

Truthfully, the wound itself was something Alastor probably could have handled on his own with a mirror and steady hands. The problem was his current lack of steady hands, and the fact that he couldn’t look at the damage without hearing his own heart pounding in his ears.

The problem was that Alastor did not want to be alone at the moment, but he also didn’t want to put on airs for the rest of the night in front of a group of ecstatic fools.

He needed to exist without a facade for a few hours to lick his wounds and compose himself, and for that, he needed Rosie.

“Ugh, I smelled you coming from half a mile. What are you doing, walking in the rain? You and the drama, I swear.” The door opened before Alastor had reached it, and he didn’t protest when he was hauled into the darkened emporium by the elbow, then led diligently up to the living quarters above. “In, in, come on. Take off your jacket, I’ll get it cleaned.” He was herded through the familiar-feeling kitchen and straight into the bathroom, catching a glimpse of some fresh hands sitting half-chopped next to a stock pot. “Now, don’t be a baby.” Rosie scolded preemptively.

Alastor tried to ask why, but he was interrupted when she yanked his dress shirt off his skin, peeling the half-dry blood that had been holding things together. He uttered a muffled shout and pulled back, which apparently fit Rosie’s definition of a baby, based on her thunderous expression.

Defeated without a word, Alastor sat on the edge of the old-style tub, balancing a bit precariously on the rim of it. He stared at the ceiling, practically relishing in dropping the act, even for an hour. Of course he continued to smile, but it was flat and unaffected. After a few seconds, he blinked hard and refocused on Rosie. “Hello.” He laughed sheepishly.

“Hello to you, sweetheart!” She replied warmly, raising her brows. “I guess it all worked out in the end, didn’t it?” As always, Rosie didn’t pry, even though she was clearly interested and had a stake in the whole venture. Alastor loved her for it.

Alastor flexed his fingers and uttered a laugh that was more of a heavy tsk. “It did, as far as I can tell. I had hoped it would.” He replied curtly, uncomfortably aware that even his voice was flat and tired. The radio effect was too hard to keep up when his body was trying to stitch itself back together and the primary catalyst of his power was in pieces.

“Alastor, darling, only you would pick a fight with an angel and have the absolute gall to come back alive and still cry about not winning.” Rosie laughed. “Is that all this is? Embarrassment?” She poked playfully, and Alastor felt his ire rising like a viper, catching a light in his eyes even as he caught himself before snapping at Rosie, who stilled immediately. She gave a sympathetic smile. “Not just that, then. Are you gonna tell me, or do I have to guess?”

Both were plausible, because Rosie was better at putting feelings into words than Alastor was. Whenever he tried, he ended up flustered, or trying desperately to dance around talking about the actual issue.

“I can’ttell you.” Alastor said flatly. There was a crack in the ceiling that was going to drive him to madness.

Rosie tutted. “Ugh, of course you can’t. Always with the secrets. And the mystery.”

There was a fork in the road that Alastor hadn’t anticipated. He had the opportunity to blissfully brush Rosie’s questions off as he usually did, allowing her to believe it was simply for the sake of drama. Or this was one of the few opportunities he would ever get to confide… withoutconfiding at all, thus maintaining the damnable deal. “I can’t tell you.” He repeated.

“Yes, you said that.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“I know, sweethe— oh.” He didn’t bother looking at her face, mostly because he didn’t want to see her expression. It was humiliating enough for the knowledge to be shared at all. “Oh, I see.” There was a rustle of fabric and then Rosie was sitting beside him on the edge of the tub. “Well, let’s address what we can fix, shall we? No sense crying over spilled blood.” She tutted, taking in the ugly wound. Most of the bruising on his back and shoulders had faded to sickly yellow skin, but the open wound was still festering, bleeding in spots.

Alastor sensed that Rosie was on the cusp of saying something else before she reconsidered and merely set about pouring hot water into a shallow dish, muttering something about her sewing kit. That was what he liked best about Rosie - she was smart enough to glean what she needed to know from what Alastor was willing to say, and she was, unlike most, content with her answers rarely being answered directly. “You know, you won’t like hearing this, but you really are lucky you didn’t end up in two very cute pieces.” Rosie pointed out, moseying around the overlarge bathroom, which was so unnecessarily decadent it was nearly comical. She started to rummage in a cabinet on the far side of the room. “Lucky for you, I always stock up before Exterminations.” She canted her head with a beaming smile, brandishing several small mason jars.

“I know.” He smiled back, feeling slightly relieved already by the weight off his shoulders, knowing there was at least one person aware of his predicament. “I’m surprised your contact is still alive.” Alastor admitted with some interest, taking the first jar from her and sniffing it. The paste inside was pungent, but distinctly fresh-smelling, and when he scooped some out, it was a pleasant forest green color. It stung the shit out of his chest when he applied it, but Alastor knew better than to doubt anything Rosie advised.

“Oh, no! The first one’s been dead for years, darling. Ugh, bless him. Frederick. Sweet boy, very tender.” Rosie corrected with a hoot of laughter. “If you paid any attention to politics outside the Pentagram, you’d know that plenty of hellborn demons are happy to help!” She held out the second jar, which smelled like the ocean… or as close to it as Alastor could remember. “They’re always flicking back and forth to Earth anyway, so it’s not hard for them to pick up some ingredients! Especially hellhounds - their noses are perfect for this kind of thing.” She noticed the way Alastor’s lips curled at the mention of hellhounds and absently slapped the back of his hand. “Oh stop. Keep your biases to yourself.”

Alastor rolled his eyes but didn’t reply, because Rosie was correct and it was a personal bias that kept him from wanting anything to do with hellhounds. Alastor didn’t like the way they looked, or the way they smelled, or the way they sometimes made doggish sounds when he least expected it. “Are you not going to pry even a little?” He asked instead, sounding amused.

“Would that make you feel better?”

“Not particularly.”

“Would you be able to answer anythingI asked.”

“Probably not.”

“Well, then that answers your question!” Rosie chirped, clapping her hands down on her lap as she sat next to him again. “I do wonder what in hell would possess you to do something so stupid, but…” She patted his shoulder fondly, and Alastor had no desire to rip out her throat for touching his bare skin. In fact, he amiably leaned into her side. “Well, stupid is as stupid does, as I always say! You’ve always got your reasons, even if they’re shit.” Rosie chuckled, then gently squeezed him against her side in a loose hug. “I suppose the only real question that matters is if you’re okay.”

Alastor was abruptly brought back to his first meeting with Rosie, when he’d been in Hell less than a week and practically crawling between hunger and pain, having stumbled from one bad situation to the next for days on end. Frankly, Alastor attributed much of his current success to Rosie’s kindness in those first months when he had nothing to offer her and she still chose to house him and feed him.

Rosie was good. Rosie had his trust.

“No.” He admitted softly, after enough time had passed that Rosie looked surprised. “No.” Alastor shook his head, feeling his heart speeding up and starting to skip a beat or two along the way. “I don’t want to die.” He elaborated in a high, panicky tone, dragging a hand through his hair as his ears flattened against his scalp. The room felt small and airless. Wasn’t there a window in here? Why was it so hot? “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be at a disadvantage every single time.” Alastor added, speaking faster as his panic finally caught up with him, feeling like he had a knot tied around his throat, cutting off his breath. “I’m weak like this! I’m— they— I don’t need—” His voice crackled with interference and his eyes took turns ticking.

Rosie, who knew what to do in every situation, patted his hand calmly and was content to sit and wait as seconds crackled by. Eventually, when she seemed sure he wouldn’t sprint out of the room like a hunted animal, Rosie spoke up. “Well… I think that’s the risk you took, sweetheart, doing what you did. Aw, now don’t look at me like that.” She tutted when he wheeled on her with unprocessed anger brewing in his face. “I’m not saying what you’re feeling is wrong! It’s not! You think you’re the only one who’s probably scared to death with all this going on? Hah. Honey, please.”

“I’m weak.” He repeated hoarsely.

“To who? Some two thousand year old angel? Honey, we’re all weak next to that!” Rosie chided gently. “Or do you mean your deal?”

He couldn’t confirm it even if he wanted to, but his sullen look seemed to speak volumes.

“Hmm. Well, I guess that’s a little trickier…” Rosie sighed, standing up and pulling a small stool over from the corner so she could sit in front of Alastor. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know.” He said tightly, lifting his chin so she could start sewing his skin together without his nose in the way. He sighed at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I can’t find a backdoor.”

“Mm, well, you know what they say: Every deal’s got a backdoor.” Rosie reminded him as she set to work. “I’m sure yours is no different. You just need to find it.”

Alastor winced at the first poke of the needle. “And what if there is no backdoor?” He wondered bleakly.

“Then you’re stuck, and you might as well learn to live with it.” Rosie laughed. “Not what you wanna hear, I know, but you could be doing worse for yourself, Alastor. Look where you are. Who you’re there with!” The needle dipped a little deeper than before and he hissed softly. Rosie didn’t seem to care as she chattered on. “That Charlie’s a little peach! A bit naive, maybe, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders. Stick with her, and I think it’ll work out.”

Alastor sighed, because Rosie was right (as usual), but that didn’t make her advice any less grating on his nerves. “Well, at least that won’t be a struggle” He muttered bitterly, then dragged a hand through his hair again, anxiously mussing his ears. “Maybe.” Alastor added as a brooding afterthought, knowing better than to try predicting the mind of any demon besides himself. The one holding his leash could change their mind on a whim, and he wouldn’t have any say in the matter.

Rosie hummed thoughtfully as she knotted the last stitch and nipped off the thread. “I see.” She suddenly had a third jar of something-or-other in her hand and dabbed it on the stitching. It smelled spicy. Foreign. It made Alastor think of some far-flung desert. “It’s interesting that you would say it like that.” Rosie laughed softly, taking his hand in hers before Alastor could think to pull away. “It’s so odd to see you worried. You really are fond of that little hotel, aren’t you?”

He immediately bristled, taking offense at the suggestion that he was blinded by misplaced affection for a plan that was, at best, wildly unrealistic. Alastor tried to yank his hand away, but Rosie had a grip of iron when she wanted, and he had a better chance of cutting his hand off than getting it back from her. “Oh stop, sweetheart. You’re so dramatic!” Rosie sighed irritably. “I wasn’t insulting you, so you can put your incorrigible male pride away for the time being. It’s not a sin to be fond of people you live with!”

“I’m not—”

“Dear.”

“I do not—”

“Darling.”

“I just—”

“Sweetie-Pie.”

“I’ve never—”

“Alastor.” He looked up at her sudden shift in tone. “Shut up, honey. You know how much I hate it when you lie. It’s an insult to our friendship.” Her smile was an unpleasant, jagged, and anxiety-inducing thing. Alastor deflated rapidly, ears flat against his head and shoulders sinking. “Thank you, sweetie.” She patted his shoulder warmly. “I think we’ve got you about as patched up as you’ll ever be.” She added as an afterthought, standing up and wandering out of the bathroom for a few moments, giving Alastor a chance to catch his breath, eyes pinched shut and expression pained by more than just the searing wound on his chest. Out in the main room, Rosie was talking (mainly to herself) about how happy she was to help.

“Of course, there isn’t much I can do for your silly little stick.” Rosie was still chattering away as she came back with his shirt and jacket, both meticulously cleaned.

“I didn’t expect you to.” Alastor laughed curtly as he pulled on his dress shirt, grimacing when the stitches strained against flesh. “That’s the next stop.”

“Well, best to get it all over with in one fell swoop, isn’t that right? No need to drag out your own suffering.”

Alastor shuffled his arms into his jacket, adjusting his clothes until he felt presentable enough to leave the sanctity of Rosie’s luxurious bathroom. “Oh, I don’t know. I imagine it’s going to be dragged out whether I like it or not.” He raised his brows at her significantly and she had the decency to at least appear sympathetic. “I continue to suffer for the fact that I have ever agreed to any deals.” He couldn’t help whining one last time as he was shuffled towards the door.

“Oh stop. It’s what, twelve hours? You can handle that! Look at you! You survived an angel, I think you can handle a television.” Rosie pulled him into a tight hug that Alastor reciprocated after a pause. “The door’s always open if you need it. Tell Vox I sent him kisses.” She added cheerfully.

Alastor grimaced. “See you in twelve hours.” He muttered, sucking in a long-suffering breath as he nudged open the door with his hip and slipped out onto the street, begrudgingly making eye contact with the stupid drone that was eagerly floating around in the pissing rain, one red light flashing rhythmically, just in case he needed even more confirmation that Vox was being, as the children would say, a fucking creeper.

“Well, you’re going to have to wait. I’m not tolerating you until I’ve eaten.” Alastor bared his teeth at the floating camera in what was more a snarl than a smile. “And I am not going to that ludicrous eyesore of a tower.” The drone, of course, didn’t speak, but Alastor was more than capable of having a one-sided argument with the fool on the other side of the camera. “You maycome to the hotel in one hour. Assess the damage and we can go from there.” He pinched the bridge of his nose irritably, unable to fully comprehend that he was still forced to adhere to a deal he’d agreed to almost sixty years ago.

Frankly, the fact that Vox still held onto it was pathetic… though Alastor had togrudgingly admit that he had no idea what he would do if he was left to his own devices with the tangle of wire and magic that was his microphone.

“You can go now.” He waved his hand at the drone, which made an unbearably happy trill with its motor as it followed him down the street. “Do you think I’ve forgotten how this works? You fix my cane and I go along with whatever absolute idiocy youforce upon me for twelve hours.” Alastor pointed angrily at the drone, which continued whirring cheerfully until a tendril of darkness crawled around it, sending it clattering onto the pavement. “That twelve hours starts when I say it does. Not when you feel most aggravating.” The drone blinked a few more times as the tentacle overcame its sensors and Alastor’s shape started to morph into something lanky and dark. “You may come to the hotel in one hour. Any earlier than that and ł’ⱠⱠ ₥₳₭Ɇ ɎØɄ ⱤɆ₲ⱤɆ₮ ł₮.” He snapped his teeth at the drone just before it disappeared into the void, then pulled back with an aggrieved sigh, losing all his ponce and drama immediately.

It was going to be a very long night.

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 19th May ✨

I have had my heart ripped out through my ears this week by certain shows *cough* Small Victories *cough* but here’s everything I listened to! 

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E10) these ghosties may be incorporeal but the chemistry between them sure isn’t!! I loved hearing Leo find a role that they feel fits them but found myself burying my head in my hands again as they continue to be manipulated by Frank. I love that it’s been written so that there’s definitely something suspicious going on but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is exactly. It’s so much more like real life than if Frank was just obviously rotten and if (when) he reveals himself to be a rat bastard, I hope it helps people examine their own relationships with people who might be manipulating them! 

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (152) Clem 😭 I hate that even as a listener I compare her to Riot but her sense of humour in the face of being pretty much ripped to shreds is SO much like Riot 😩 

And, oh. Oh, Raj. Maybe he hasn’t made a covenant with Syrensyr …. maybe the real eldritch power was grief all along. This killed me. 

I’m hoping at some point (either in the canon or as a bonus) we get to hear the Nikignik/Marolmar conversation in its entirety from start to finish. I love getting snippets but I also want to hear it in full!! 

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (22) ooooh I do love a spooky tale and would happily listen to an entire series set in the world of this story! 

🏛 @the-mistholme-museum (TRANQUIL) What a lovely ending to an astounding show. It’s so comforting to know that, at the end of everything, there will still be stories 🥺💙

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (16) Poor Alice ☹️ I really enjoyed the multimedia additions in this episode, it made it so much more entertaining to listen to!! 

🍎 @notquitedeadpod (XXXVIII) Oh lord. Maybe Casper isn’t the angel we assumed him to be 😩 I literally didn’t trust Neige at all when he was first introduced but, god, I am so soft for him now. If it turns out that he’s the one manipulating Alfie I’m going to lose it. What on earth are they going to do with Casper now?? 

🌞 Small Victories by @wgc-productions (2.05-2.07) oh my GOD!! Marisol!!! I can’t even believe what has happened in my ears. CHRIST. I think what hurts the most is that it actually took zero effort for her to find the oxy in the end - she was REALLY stopping herself 😭 she could have taken it at any time and didn’t. Sometimes it’s hard to believe this show has been written and acted, the writing and performances are so spot on that it feels like real life!

^ So I wrote this and then finished off the rest of the season and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Shit, man. I completely didn’t even realise who ‘The Host’ was until she apologised to him at the start of the last episode 😭 don’t do this to me, I’m too fragile 😭 ugh, it’s all just too much. I need season three right now. 

Please, everyone go listen to Small Victories!! And if you're having a generous audio drama Sunday, Stories from Ylemore by @itmeblog is crowdfunding and you should support them!!

[computer-cacophony]

The side of purity culture where you're forced to be a happy robot

Okay, so this is a mix between a vent, observation, and a discussion post, but yesterday I had an argument with my mum that made me realize something.

So we all know that purity culture, using its blanket term, means to be pure sexually and physically. It's not the only thing in that umbrella, but one could argue that's what coined the term in the first place. As ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, I'm sure we, of all people, know about that. But it's emotional, too.

Most of us grew up being told that we should be happy because "we know the truth", because we have the light unlike the world who lives in the dark (ugh), and despite them (sometimes) saying that negative things and feelings are normal, they're generally frowned upon. I'm sure we've seen the dramas, and we know how they tell us not to do research outside the "truth".

Enough rambling, let me get to the context.

So yesterday, I had a long stressful day with work, school, and just generally being hormonal (girls and FTMs, iykyk), and I was a bit sour. Some of it was just general emotional overload, and others were legitimate frustrations, like the pile of dishes that was there for me to clean when all I wanted to do was rest and even though someone else was in the house to do them. I eventually snapped, "Everyone (even though it was just me and mum in the house) shut the fuck up and give me a minute!"

To this Mum said, "Well, I'm steering clear of you tonight, [deadname]. This isn't like you."

This honestly did not make me feel any better. Certainly made me feel guilty, though. I told Mum, "I'm not a perfect angel. Besides, you can't tell me you haven't had days like this."

"True, but your attitude is unbecoming of a Witness."

I just ignored that, had dinner, did the dishes, got a shower, and then shut myself up in my bedroom to unwind with some video games.

Could I have handled things better? Absolutely, I'm not denying that, but it made me think how we're outright ordered to be happy by those in the organization, how anything less than our happiest is practically demonized. Even when we lose a loved one, we're told that there's no need to grieve because "we'll see them in Paradise".

I guess honestly, the reason I'm writing this is because it's just now hitting me how in control they are of our emotions, even when we're trying to deconstruct.

And as mentioned above, this is a discussion post, so I'd like to ask if anyone else had a similar observation and how they came about it.

[baby--charchar]

Middle!Charlie and the beautiful, gorgeous, oh-so-coveted Pink Hair

Big Charlie thinks appearance is a huge part of business! She wants to look professional and respectable, in order for others (especially Heaven) to start taking her and the hotel seriously. Clean, well-kept hair pulled back, well manicured nails, and of course, her beautiful candy apple red suits, which are dry cleaned and ironed religiously. It's all part of her ✨️brand✨️!

Middle!Charlie? Oh hell no! Her style is just so...different. All the suits and dress shoes just feel so stuffy and old. And Charlie HATES getting stuck in them when she accidently regresses midday.

Actually, clothes were one of the biggest hints that vaggie got that Charlie was regressing into middlespace originally. When she's LITTLE little, it's so obvious. The crying, the clinginess, her fascination with toys and Disney. But middle!Charlie is more subtle. The clothes were the first hint because Charlie just woke up one day complaining how her suits were "gross" and "old looking," but everything from her little wardrobe was "dumb" and "for babies."

Middle Charlie is anywhere from 9 to 13, but usually hovers around the lower range.

She wants to wear bright, cheerful things that match all that energy she has! She's drawn to pastels, neons, and an ungodly amount of glitter. One of her favorite outfits when she's feeling middle is pink leggings with gold foil hearts on them, a bright blue cat ear hoodie, and having her hair half-up in a bunny ear scrunchie.

She's drawn to Angel and Cherri whenever she's in her middle range because they're just so cool! Yeah, they wear really cool outfits and do their make up every night to go party. But beyond that! They just radiate big brother and big sister energy and Charlie ends up following them around the hotel like a little duckling.

She's totally adorable, so they don't have a problem with her sticking around. They know to watch what they say around her; no drug or sex talk when she's around just on principle. No cussing either, but that one's because Vaggie warned them not to. Other than that, they all love music, dancing, karaoke, watching anime, all sorts of fun stuff for a "chill" night in at the hotel.

Cherri especially is like the coolest big sister to Charlie. She teaches her dances from KPOP videos and is always down to do her hair and nails. Charlie admires her a ton, and always mentions how she wishes she could dress like her. Especially her pink hair!!! Middle Charlie is just so obsessed with her ombre pink ponytail!!!

Cherri makes one fatal mistake, one comment that sends Charlie spiraling and Vaggie after her with a pitchfork: "Ya know, you could probably rock some pink too. You probably wouldn't even need to lighten your hair."

"....."

"You could do just the ends, or maybe a little peekaboo in the back?"

Cue the spiraling. Three hours of "Please, please, please, PLEASE!!! PLEASE PINK HAIR?! PLEASE?!" at Daddy and Vaggie. Daddy wasn't sure one way or another, he just hoped this didn't mean a resurgence of the dreaded Emo Phase.

Vaggie put her foot down. "Not tonight, no. We can think about it later. But for now, the answer is no. End of discussion."

Vaggie didn't REALLY have a problem with it. In fact, she thought it'd be cute. But she firmly believes that littles and middles can't be making big choices like that. At the very least, she wanted to hear what Charlie thought about it when she WASN'T regressed.

Of course, this did not sit well with Charlie. "It's not fair!!! I'm not THAT little!!! It's MY hair!!! YOU'RE SO MEAN, VAGGIE!!! YOU NEVER LET ME DO WHAT I WANT!!! UGH!!!" *stomp stomp stomp upstairs*

Vaggie was not even phased, she's used to a little drama from her princessa. She secretly thinks that Charlie uses her as sounding board for all her mommy issues when she's in her middle space. Which is fine, get it all out now and maybe it won't be such a shit show when Lilith actually returns.

ANNNYYYYWAYYYY.........grumpy middle Charlie immediately apologizes when Vaggie gets upstairs and has a big cathartic cry session before passing out for the night.

The next day, Vaggie breaches the topic of dying her hair. Charlie...doesn't know now. Part of her still really wants it....it'd look so cute.....just a little pink. But what about the hotel and heaven? Would people take her seriously with hair like that?

(Vaggie called it. Littles and middles can't be consenting for bigs!)

Charlie thinks on it long and hard. Everytime she regresses she comes back to wanting pink hair. Even baby Charlie reaches for Cherri's pink hair when she sees it! It's just...so cute!

Eventually Big Charlie says, "Screw it, let's do this! I want pink!"

So next time Charlie's middle, Cherri's whipping out the dye, the ratty towels, the gloves, the foils, the brushes and mixing bowl, etc. Girl knows what she's doing!

They decide on peekaboo in the back. That way Charlie can actually get a lot of pink but still hide it easily if she needs to be super professional. Vaggie's there to supervise.

AND CHARLIE LOVES IT!!! Once it's rinsed and dried, she's showing off to anyone who'll listen. "Daddy, look at my hair! Husk, Alastor, look! I got pink hair! Angel, angel, do you see my hair? Look! Cherri did it, she made it pink!!!"

The next morning, Vaggie catches Charlie hovering by the bathroom mirror with a grin, and muttering, "Pink, pink...! Omg...it's really pink!" Vaggie just smirks at her little princessa.

[radgalniya]

random unimportant thoughts after watching bridgerton s1 + s2:

•eloise is cool and all but i have no interest in her little fling w the paper boy. i skip all the scenes. tbh i dont care for benedicts side projects either. like it’s cool but it doesnt move the story forward much so it’s boring to me. ig for eloise it did create drama w the lady whisteldown stuff but i didnt need to see so many eloise and paper boy scenes for that tbh.

•the boxer dude who opened the lame ass mens club pisses me off so bad. YOU used fraudulent money to open ur mens club now ur looking down on the featheringtons. always in somebody elses business and lookin all miserable like nigga get out the wayyyy mind ur businessss

•edwina literally looks like a perfect angel princess doll, face card of a woman men would go to war for …HOWEVER that crying face kills me lmao

•i love how in the bridgerton uni theres always a storyline break in the show for the two main characters to just fuck. just a smutty montage.

•the bee scene.

•i love how all of them are essentially love at first sight but it’s believable bc the chemistry is so good

•now i know lady featherington isnt the best mother all the time but she loves her kids in her own way and but she’s one of my favorite characters. i’m a sucker for a strong female character who would do whatever she needs for her kids. like i just love to watch her. and i love how after she told mr featherington about her plan, you could see how stressed she was after, just shows how developed a character she is likeee ugh love to watch her on screen.

•i burn for you….OH?!

•why is someone always dying during production. this the second season with an in memory of at the end…

•the penelope eloise breakup was bound to happen but damn it’s so devastating. pen was so wrong and she knew it idk why she was arguing back like girl

•irdk which i’m more obsessed w. dimon, kanthony, or polin. likeee they are all giving everything i need. shonda rhimes just gets it fr.

[pageofheartdj]

Lucifer would for SURE have that insecurity. Pulling away? Not wanting to make the first step towards communication? Feeling out of place and like he doesn't belong? I bet the other's would catch on and they'd all develop their own approaches into encouraging Lucifer out of his depression cave, so to speak.

Alastor would probably annoy him out of it but if that didn't work would probably ask Rosie or Lilith for help? He's got a reputation as the Unflappable Radio Demon to uphold (headcanon: Alastor is awkward with emotions and doesn't quite know what to do so he sorta.. either doesn't say anything when he has to deal with emotions with others or is snarky because he at least knows how to do that. He develops his own way of showing appreciation and comfort though)

Alastor and Rosie ABSOLUTELY would have gossip sessions. Lilith might join in just to hear the updates about some big drama (ugh Susan) and offer tea and biscuits or something? Lucifer popping in with a snarky comment but wanting to just sit back and enjoy their company is sweet!

I could see Rosie's insecurity maybe coming from wanting to help everyone and feeling sorta guilty that she isn't in cannibal town there to help 24/8? Like, she might get worried that she'll miss something or something could happen to the town while she's gone?

Lilith uhhh. Maybe she feels out of place? The rest either did something to piss off god (lucifer) or actively earned their spot in hell, meanwhile she just.. didn't want to be a servant to an asshole of a man. Like, absolutely fair but probably doesn't feel equivalent to literally gifting humanity freewill and whatever Al and Rosie were up to. She's in between a fallen angel and human but didn't really live the life of either?

Charlie would be SO supportive and Alastor would take such joy in flexing that he has some of/literally the most powerful demons on "his side" (they love him despite being showy sometimes).

Maybe there'd be some tension between Luficer and Alastor because Al is more like the stereotypical devil than Lucifer is?

They're all so silly and quirky and have such potential xD honestly relationship goals tho? In a polycule (queer platonic, in my case) where everyone can get along in different ways and support each other and be comfortable being themselves?? Goals xD

Yeah the feeling of shame and guilt will keep appearing and therefore 'who would want to someone like him, cant even create anymore' TT

Oh I absolutely believe being geniunely open and vulnerable is extremely hard to Alastor! His smiles and sharp behaviour is not just a mask but a protective comfortable layer! And even if he tries to be more close it's still the default that is hard to pass by. I believe he can muster something actually real if the other person will be so crushed they aren't reacting to anything else anymore!!

Honestly Rosie and Alastor are a nice tag team xD He deals with the depressed king when he is too inside of his head, he can be manhandled by Alastor xD And when he is actually responsive, Rosie can step in and gently reassure him. And Lilith will give this 'do you love us? respect us? we would never stay with someone we dont care about and you know it'. This harsh love xD

I really like how in terms of dealing with stress and trauma Alastor pushes forward and Lucifer pulls away😭

I've read Rosie likes cooking! Like Al!! Imagine them preparing food for private lunches! I hc Lucifer is a decent cook, but there is not point in trying when these two are amazing XD And Lilith can watch over and make sure they aren't slipping something more fleshy XD So in the end they just sit there and Rosie gives all the hot goss with Alastor and Lilith joining in and Lucifer chilling while following their conversations and occasionally commenting <3

OH she might! She is very envolved with her community and she probably takes to heart when she fails someone while she expected not to! I LOVE characters that put too much on their shoulders!!(she is just like Charlie fr fr)

I don't know with Lilith. It seems she got all she wanted: got away from Adam, got an awesome new home where she 'thrived'. I do wonder if she is... vengeful? SHE got it all good, but her husband was crushed and he never properly recovered. She might be furious with Heaven for this. And for exterminations.

Oh Alastor is truly an attention seeker, he would always flex his partners in public(but never be actually intimate with them because it is for HIM to see only!)

It may be at the beginning? But it would be fun if Lucifer will actually use Alastor's scariness xD Oh you want a scary devil? I can give you something scary xD And Alastor enjoys it, intimidating and jumping people is his favourite type of fun xD

*sigh* All their dynamics are so fun it's a treat <3 (Rosie and Lilith having ohoho mean gossip sessions with their 'pathetic' looks on others(ugh Susan), Rosie and Alastor going on hunts and cooking together, Alastor and Lucifer having improvised lighthearted musical competitions(full blown dance numbers), Lucifer and Lilith going to concerts and theatres incognito, Lilith and Alastor having violent and fun radio podcasts, Rosie and Lucifer going to hellborn balls and Cannibal Town gatherings)

(for me it's only QPR cause everyone else can mess around and I'll jump in for a short smooch and be out jkhj XD)

[lurkingshan]

SHIPPER TAG GAME

Tagged by @negrowhat to give away all my fandom secrets. I came up in the US, so most of these will be Western shows. Also be aware that I'm old and been around in fandoms for decades, some of you youths might not even recognize these ships.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Felicity and Noel. I was very into them (and very anti-Ben) when I was first watching this show at the tender age of 14, but then I rewatched it as an adult, realized Noel was a classic Nice Guy with some clear warning flags, and settled into Team Ben.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Hmm maybe Elizabeth Wakefield and Todd Wilkins? I think I started reading Sweet Valley High at, like, age 8. For TV, I was a sitcom kid and I was obsessed with Dwayne Wayne and his flip-up glasses as a child. I loved him and Whitley. Damn now I want to rewatch.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

The first I read? I am pretty sure the honor goes to Buffy and Spike.

They were the first ship I remember having that classic fanfic brainrot combo of 1) captivating me entirely with their dynamic and 2) canon leaving me unsatisfied. I lost months of my life over at Elysian Fields.

In terms of the first fanfic I wrote, the honor goes to Ian and Mickey.

I was big into Shameless for its first four seasons. But then the show went way off the rails, the fandom went with it, and I quit watching and scrubbed all my fandom activity off the internet.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I honestly have no idea. Probably something Buffy, I was doing a lot of internet dwelling for that show.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Getting into discourse is my whole entire thing LOL. I have survived many, many ship wars and let me tell ya you haven't seen unhinged until you've been knee deep in the tags in a long-term fandom with multiple ships for the protagonist. One of the things I love about BL and nearly all Asian dramas is that we go into every show knowing who the main pairing is, so we don't have to fight about ships.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Hmm I was a big Buffy/Angel anti and that was before Spuffy was even a twinkle in my eye. I never liked that man in a romance until he got hooked up with Cordelia in his own show (but then they ruined it ugh). I was also very anti-Harry/Hermione back in the OG HP days (let characters have meaningful platonic relationships!).

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

I've been on a Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian kick of late.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

OTPs are eternal! Like I said above, since I mostly watch Asian drama now, they're baked in. My fav of my current watches is Ten and Prem.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

YES I AM STILL MAD ABOUT ROBIN AND BARNEY.

You show me two characters who are clearly uniquely compatible, you give me a brief taste of their extremely fun and non-traditional relationship, and then you break them up and stick her with the milquetoast Nice Guy protagonist in a total betrayal of your entire narrative premise? Fuck off forever, HIMYM, I will see you in hell.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Hmm nothing comes to mind. If I decided to hate a pair in the past I am pretty likely to still be hating.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I would like to see you try to cancel me!! I'll echo Eboni here and say Brian and Justin, though of course there were people who hated them because of the age gap back in ye olden times, too. Fandom spaces are mostly women and women in queer fandom spaces often struggle to account for the totally different culture and power dynamics between m/m pairings.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I don't really do crack ships, I am a canon pairing girlie.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

I don't know who the ultimate winner is, but I think it's probably a neck and neck competition between Spuffy and Wangxian as my most read pairing.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

There's actually a lot of variety in them in terms of personalities, appearance, and tropes. I think what makes me really click into a ship is the feeling that the two people are uniquely suited to each other and well matched to go through life together.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

When I don't believe they can actually make it.

Tagging @my-rose-tinted-glasses @twig-tea @imminentinertia @shortpplfedup @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @littleragondin.