#ugh anyway watch bad batch it slaps

[obwjam]

stowaway (bad batch x tiny)

this piece is titled: the bad batch s1e1 “aftermath” except instead of omega it’s a tiny who was a stowaway on their ship from kaller and they discover her on the way back to kamino and now they have to hide her from everyone

(bad batch spoilers included so if you care pls watch the ep before reading!)

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Truth be told, Jara was just as confused as the rest of them.

It was nothing atypical. Battle droids on one side, clones and Jedi on the other, all screaming and firing blasters and blowing everything to hell. Though tinies were often isolated from everything, the Clone War was the exception.

Which is why it was time for her to leave. Again.

She had already lost countless friends and family throughout her life with no massive conflict in her backyard. At this point, she just had to look out for herself; not to mention the horror stories of what happened to tinies when captured by the Separatists were at the forefront of her mind. So when she found an empty ship in the woods, she smuggled herself inside and went about observing the place. There were unopened rations and some rather awful-smelling clothes scattered about, which told her that this ship was definitely not abandoned or out of commission. There were no droids, either, so she had to assume it was a Republic ship. Perfect. Wherever it stopped at next, she would sneak off and see if she could find some other tinies to settle with for a while.

Just her luck that the clones who owned this ship were, well… these guys.

“Whatever’s happening here, I don’t like it.”

She gasped and ducked behind an object on the table when she heard the voice.

“Best not to worry about it until we get back home. Plotting coordinates now.”

She cautiously leaned out from behind the object to get a better look. There were five people -- clones, she inferred from the armor, but they didn’t really look alike at all. One with goggles was piloting the ship, while a bulky one with a big scar was slumped over in the chair adjacent to him. The other three were exchanging distressed looks between themselves and the floor.

“How long’s it gonna take?!” the bulky one groaned, throwing his hands up in the air. She flinched.

“Wrecker, please.” This one had long hair and a tattoo covering half his face. “Just relax a little.”

“Maybe you can relax, Hunter, but I wanna keep fightin’!” Okay. He was Hunter, and he was Wrecker. Not exactly the type of names you’d want to make enemies with.

“Hunter’s right. We could all use a breather after… well, after what just happened back there.” This one was pale and had a bunch of cybernetic attachments on his head. Ick.

“Hmph.” The last remaining clone, who had grey hair and a toothpick hanging from the corner of his mouth, grunted in displeasure. Hunter didn’t seem to like that.

“Got somethin’ to say, Crosshair?” 

Crosshair folded his arms and didn’t say a word.

It was a fairly short, uneventful ride. The group mostly sat in silence, occasionally sharing a thought or two as they saw fit. There seemed to be a bit of tension, though, as Hunter and Crosshair kept exchanging pointed glances.

There was an uncomfortable lurch as the ship dropped out of hyperspace. Jara yelped and stumbled forward, but nobody noticed.

“We’re coming up on Kamino,” the pilot said. Hmm. Kamino. She had never heard of it.

“It’s good to be home,” Wrecker sighed from the passenger chair. “How long has it been?”

“One hundred and eighty rotations in a standard cycle…” the pilot started, and that was when Jara zoned out again. He sure had a penchant for droning on and on.

“You sure that padawan died when he fell?”

Her stomach dropped as she snapped back to attention. Wait, padawan? Died? Why did they need to make sure a Jedi was dead?

“Sure I’m sure. Why?”

“Well, usually when someone falls, you look down, not… across… uh, what is that?”

She froze. Even through the helmet, she knew Crosshair was staring right at her. She could tell because she couldn’t stop staring right back at him. Her mind told her to run, but her legs wouldn’t respond. She thought she was hidden -- only a little bit of her was poking out from behind the object she had settled down behind. But all it took was one passing glance for Crosshair to spot her. She was practically pinned down by his gaze as the others, minus the one piloting the ship, followed his stare to where she stood, shaking.

“What’s what? I don’t see anything,” Wrecker whined, standing up. She gulped. He was huge.

“There,” said the pale one, robotic arm pointing right at her. “Behind one of Tech’s… things.” Even through her terror, she managed to sniff a laugh. Tech is a ridiculous name.

Wrecker tilted his head and squinted, but it didn’t take long to find her. “Oh. Oh. Woah…”

“Don’t,” Hunter warned. He stuck his arm out in Wrecker’s direction as he inched closer to the strange, cowering girl in front of him. “We don’t know what it is.”

“What what is?” came the voice of Tech from the cockpit. He quickly set the ship to autopilot before excitedly bounding to where the other four were standing to see what was going on. “What are we looking at?”

“On the table,” Crosshair muttered. His piercing gaze didn’t waver for a moment. Her eyes flickered over to Tech, whose own eyes were wide as he finally saw her. He reached for his tablet and furiously began typing into it.

“It’s… it’s a tiny,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Yeah, we can see it’s tiny,” Wrecker frowned.

“No, Wrecker,” Tech shook his head. “That’s what their species is called. They’re a… a race of miniature humanoid beings that inhabit thousands of planets across the galaxy.”

“Oh…” Wrecker was at a loss for words. Never in his entire life had he seen something so small. So vulnerable. He took a few cautious steps, and Hunter grimaced at the way she seemed to shrink back as he approached.

“Come on, Wrecker, don’t get too close.”

“Why not? I can barely see the little guy!”

“Girl.”

“What?”

“I… I think it’s a she,” Tech said, his goggles whirring as they analyzed her. 

“Does she speak basic?” the pale one asked. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, either.

“I’m… not sure. There’s not really too much data here… height ranges anywhere from two to five inches… there have been some documented cases of tinies living well over 100 years…”

“If they’re all over the galaxy, why have we never seen one before?” Hunter posited, trying to keep his voice low. She clenched her jaw every time one of them spoke.

“...And why is this one on our ship?” Crosshair asked pointedly, narrowing his eyes. Her stomach began to turn.

“Why don’t we just ask?” Wrecker proposed. Hunter and the pale one exchanged an uncomfortable glance, but Wrecker didn’t wait for permission. He closed the gap between him and the table and took a knee. 

Her grip tightened on the object as she craned her neck upward. Even when he leaned down, he still towered over her.

“What’s your name, little guy?” he practically yelled at her, making her wince and look away. 

“Wrecker, can’t you see she’s terrified?” Hunter groused. 

Crosshair rolled his eyes. He didn’t feel right about this “tiny” being on their ship. For all they knew, she was a Separatist spy. “Enough of this,” he grumbled. He lunged forward with an outstretched hand, ready to get to the bottom of his, but stopped short of her when she pulled out a weapon, pointing it at them with shaking hands.

“DON’T!” she yelled, stunning the five clones in front of her. They were not expecting to hear her voice, much less see her unsheathe a sword that had no chance of harming anyone. “I--I’m sorry, I--I just needed to get off Kaller, please, I wasn’t going to -- I wasn’t gonna take anything, I swear! Just -- just stay back!”

She couldn’t believe this. She had never been seen before. Not once in her entire life. And here she was, finally able to escape that wretched cold planet and start a new life, and now she was going to be caged and sold on the black market like every other tiny was when they were discovered. Or maybe these weird clones would keep her as a prize.

Hunter blinked. Her tiny little sword was adorable, and there was no way it would ever make a dent in any of them. But he at least admired her ability to stand her ground. He couldn’t blame her, either -- being stared down by five enhanced clones had to be nothing less than horrifying to someone so small.

“Hey, relax… we’re not gonna hurt you,” Hunter said calmly, holding up his hands. “We just want to know who you are and what you’re doing on our ship.”

It took her a moment to stabilize her breathing, but she was able to gather enough strength to wipe away the tears she barely even realized had formed in her eyes and fully take in the giant in front of her. He was certainly terrifying by virtue of the fact that he was leaning so close to her, but the curiosity in his eyes… the way his mouth hung slightly agape… the softness of his expression… he was just confused. It was the same look she was giving him.

“I… I--I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I just... I had nowhere else to go…”

“Were you running from the Seps?” the pale one chimed in. 

She shrugged. “I was running from the war.”

“Is Kaller your home planet?” Tech asked, popping into view behind Hunter. 

She shook her head. “I’ve been planet-hopping my whole life. I’ve just been on Kaller for a really long time. I’m not really sure where I’m from.”

“Hey, you never answered my question!” Wrecker cried, cutting off Tech, who was preparing to ask a follow-up question. “What’s your name?”

“My name’s Jara,” she said, voice quavering. Wrecker’s eyes lit up when she spoke -- he was just happy she was addressing him. “I, uh. I know all your names,” she managed to say. “Except you.”

The pale one was taken aback. “Um. I-I’m Echo.”

“Echo,” she repeated. That was nothing like the other four names.

“If you just stumbled upon our ship, how do you know our names?” Crosshair asked, eyebrows raised as he dared to lean in closer. 

She let out a nervous laugh. “You-- you all said each other’s names in conversation. I just connected the dots.”

“Hm.” Crosshair wasn’t sure if he believed that.

“Lighten up, Crosshair,” Hunter grumbled. “She’s obviously not a threat.”

“That we know of.”

“Well actually, according to this data, tinies appear to be a peaceful, primitive people,” Tech said. “They have little to no means to inflict any meaningful damage upon us or anyone else.”

Jara scrunched her face up and glared at Tech. “Yeah, well, you don’t need to say it like that,” she mumbled. She was surprised when Hunter snickered.

“So you really came to our ship just to flee your planet?” Wrecker asked in a rare moment of calmness. He couldn’t stop staring at this tiny girl -- he was surprised she even managed to stay alive long enough to find someplace to hide. But now that she was here, well, he felt as if it was his responsibility to keep her safe. Even the smallest of creatures could be deadly to her.

“Yeah,” she said, taking a few shaky steps forward. “I--I just needed to get somewhere safe, that’s all. Maybe find some more tinies. I was going to leave right when you landed somewhere, honest.”

“Well, there certainly won’t be any tinies where we’re going,” Tech scoffed.

“...where are we going?” she dared to ask. 

“Kamino. Our home planet.”

“More like a factory than a home,” Hunter mumbled. Jara stiffened. That did not sound like a place she wanted to be.

“There is no we here,” Crosshair scolded, glancing around at his brothers. “There is no place for you there, tiny. It’s just the clones and the Kaminoans. You wouldn’t even survive the night.” He paused, taking in the looks of apprehension from everyone. “What? We’re not seriously going to take her with us, are we?”

Hunter grimaced and shot Jara a look that said sorry about him. After a few beats of uncomfortable silence, Tech spoke up.

“...maybe just until we get sent on another mission,” he said, uncharacteristically meek. “I mean, there are so many questions I want to ask. This could be our only chance to gather data.”

Jara rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

“What are we gonna do, Crosshair, make her stay on the ship? There’s nowhere else for her to go.”

“She should have never been here in the first place,” Crosshair mumbled, clearly outnumbered in his opinion. 

“But she is. And she was just trying to save herself,” Echo added. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I say we help her while we can.”

“Wrecker? What do you think?” Hunter asked, turning to the largest clone. He had been strangely quiet for the last few minutes.

“Huh? Uh, yeah, yeah. We should help,” he stumbled. “I don’t see anythin’ wrong with that.”

A loud beep echoed from the cockpit, prompting Tech to shoot up from his seat. “Strap in, boys. And, uh, girl. We’re coming in for a landing.”

Jara stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do, until a giant hand was placed at her side. She yelped.

“Climb on, kid,” said Hunter, fully aware of how spooked Jara looked. “I’ve gotta hide you somewhere.”

“She can hide with me,” Tech piped up from the front. “I have some space in my belt.”

“You okay with that?” Hunter asked. Jara’s glance shifted from Hunter’s face to his hand to Wrecker and back to Hunter. 

“Um. Sure,” she said weakly. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Wrecker beamed. “Unless you want the entire clone army to know you’re here!”

“...The belt sounds wonderful.”

“Good.” Hunter stayed patient as Jara gathered up the courage to willingly climb onto a human hand. She took a few deep breaths and clenched her fists before shutting her eyes and leaping up to his palm in one try. Hunter sniffed a laugh.

“I’ll go slow,” he said, gently standing up and taking careful strides toward Tech. Jara tried her best to stay still, but Hunter could both feel her tension and her trembles. Once the ship was parked, Tech flipped open the flap to one of his belt pockets. Jara grabbed onto Hunter’s thumb when he lowered his hand down and hesitated for a brief moment before climbing into the pocket. Everyone was watching her, and she didn’t like it.

It was hard to hear what was going on outside, but as the group made their way through the hangar and back to their barrack, she was barely able to make out the words “Grievous”, “defeated” and “over”. Did that mean what she thought it meant?

Light flooded her vision once again when Tech’s giant hand snapped open the pocket. Without really thinking, he reached down and scooped her up, causing Jara to yelp and grab onto one of Tech’s fingers for dear life as she was pulled up at a breakneck speed.

“Oh. Sorry,” Tech blushed upon seeing her sickened face. The way she was clinging onto him was nothing short of adorable. “Guess that was a bit sudden.”

“A warning next time would be *hic* nice,” Jara groaned. “Oh, stars. This place smells worse than the ship.”

“Told you,” Crosshair grinned, nudging a sad-looking Wrecker. 

Echo leaned down. “You’ll get used to it.”

Jara gave a weak smile before turning her attention to Tech, who was beaming down at her. Sitting in his hand, she really had no choice but to endure his questions.

“So, goggles. What do you wanna know?” she asked, knowing such a question would make Tech explode. And it did. Even Hunter was starting to get sick of it after Tech had asked every question and written down every note he possibly could. 

“What about special skills? Do you have heightened agility, superb senses? Anything like that?”

Jara shrugged. “I mean, maybe. I dunno. I don’t really know what’s… normal.”

“Hmm…” Tech wrote her answer down word-for-word. “What if we tried--”

Across the room, Wrecker had finally lost it. “Ugh, can somebody shut him up?! I can’t take it anymore!”

“Of course you wouldn’t understand the importance of--”

“--I think he’s right, Tech,” Hunter jumped in. “You should give her a break.”

“And give us a break,” Crosshair mumbled to himself.

“I-it’s okay,” Jara interjected. The last thing she wanted was to become the center of another conflict. “You can ask me more stuff later. I don’t mind, really.”

“Later…” Tech repeated. “So, what? Are we going to keep you?” 

“Keep--keep me?” Jara gulped, her eyes flying wide.

“I think he means let you stay here with us for a little longer than a night,” Hunter said. “Right?” 

“Well, since we have to go to that meeting soon, and then who knows what we’ll be asked to do after, I just assumed she meant she would be staying with us for a while, considering there are multiple tests I need to run now. Not to mention all the questions I’ll surely have after that.” Tech paused, giving a look of hurt to the group. “I thought that was obvious?”

“Tech, come on, you’re freaking her out!” Echo cried. He was right. At the mere mention of the word test, Jara had tensed up again. “Can we even do that? Actually harbor a stowaway with us?”

“It’s definitely against regulations,” Hunter mused.

“...so we gotta do it, right?” Wrecker jumped in with a big grin. “I mean, come on! She has a tiny sword! That’s awesome!”

“Well, I guess that’s up to her,” Hunter smiled, turning his attention back to Jara. Her gaze was bouncing back and forth between all five clones, though it was obvious to Hunter that she was trying to avoid looking at Crosshair. “Whadda ya say? Do you wanna lay low with us for a while?”

“You really mean that?” she asked, overtly aware of the fact that this could be a trap. After all, it was clear one of them didn’t like her. But the others… Tech was overzealous, sure, but he was earnest in his curiosity and desire to simply know more about her. Echo was definitely reserved, but seemed to be just as concerned for her as the others. Wrecker was just a big ol’ kid. He seemed to like her just fine. And Hunter… well, Hunter couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He was rational. She knew he believed her story, however unbelievable it may be. 

Hunter nodded. “Yeah, I do. I can’t guarantee anything, but we’ll try and keep you safe until we can find you a better place to live. I should warn you, though. Our squad’s nothing but trouble. It might get dangerous.”

“The only thing I’ve ever known is danger,” she shrugged. “And I’ve stayed alive this long.”

Wrecker let out a bellowing laugh. Even though it shattered her eardrums, she couldn’t help but smile back. “Ha! I like her!”

Jara didn’t say it, but in that moment, everyone seemed to pick up on it. She liked them too.

[ambitionzzzz]

Of Convenience

Chapter 2- Mary MacDonald

Warnings: Cursing

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Sitting on top of your comforter, you finished up your Charms homework before having to go to breakfast to meet with Remus. 

“Y’know,” Your roommate, Marlene McKinnon, began as she buttoned her dress shirt. “I thought he was going to ask out Mary MacDonald.”

You signed your homework, “Who?”

“Your boyfriend,” You perked up. “I thought he was going to ask out Mary, guess not,” She pulled up her skirt.

You looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?”

“Sirius told me. He said the other day that Remus couldn’t stop talking about this one girl but he wouldn’t say her name, Sirius assumed it was MacDonald because one night while they were drunk, Remus had confessed to liking the girl. But I guess he was wrong.”

“When was this?” Your heart rate sped up a bit.

“Maybe a week ago?” She slipped in her robes, and placed her flats on. She pulled her hair out, letting it fall past her shoulders in beach waves. “I’m just looking out for you.”

You hesitated before speaking. “You and Sirius close?”

“You could say that,” She smirked. “It’s only a matter of time before he calls me his girlfriend. But going back to you, just be careful, yeah?”

“Yeah, thanks Marly.”

She said nothing else and left you alone with your thoughts. Could Remus be using you to get Mary jealous? He is the one who brought up fake dating in the first place… And he was rather quick to jump to your defense. You shook your head, your anxiety getting the best of you. You decided to confront- well not confront, but certainly talk to Remus about the information your roommate oh so kindly decided to drop on you. d cd You packed up your work and quickly got dressed for the day. 

You scanned the cafeteria, looking for your lover. Apparently he saw you looking for him because he began waving you over. You sat down and grabbed a plate, serving yourself breakfast, your conversation with Marlene still fresh in your mind. 

“Moony,” Sirius grabbed his attention. “You’re sat here, when you should’ve gone to pick up Y/n-”

“It’s okay-”

“It completely slipped my mind, Y/n, I’m sorry-” Remus looked at you apologetically. 

“Rem, it’s fine, really,” You grabbed his hand. “I was finishing up some homework anyway.”

Everyone went back to their conversations, but Remus’s eyes remained on you. He tugged your hand a little bit, “Hey, you okay?”

You got closer to him, lowering your voice into a whisper. “We need to talk.”

“Oh gross,” James pretended to gag. “They’re being domestic.”

“Oh, piss off,” Remus defended. He turned back to you and gave you a look, a look that made you think he knew exactly what you wanted to talk about. “C’mon.” 

“Where?” He got up and offered his hand. 

“Somewhere we can talk.”

“Yeah, talk,” Sirius teased. Remus flipped them off and the boys started hollering, drawing the attention of the surrounding students.

Remus led you by the hand into the poetry, last names A-L, section of the library. He let go and turned to you, leaning against the wall. “What’s up?”

You looked behind you and then back at him, “Do you like Mary MacDonald?”

“I-I mean sure, she’s a sweet enough girl-”

“Remus, do you fancy her?”

He stared at your feet, avoiding eye contact. “...I like your shoes…”

“God, Remus!”  

“Shhh!”

You lowered your voice, but kept it stern. “Why didn’t you tell me??”

“I don’t know, I just thought because you needed help you might agree to help me-”

“Is that why you defended me?? So I’d agree to help get another girl jealous???”

“Yes. Wait- No-”

“Oh great, thanks a lot, Remus,” You turned away, walking out of the section. “The nerve-” He pulled you back in between the bookshelves. 

“Please don’t go, let me explain,” He looked you in the eyes, and as much as you wanted to leave, you couldn’t. Not when he was looking at you like that. 

“You have 30 seconds.”

He sighed in relief. “Yes, I fancy Mary. But no, I did not help you with the intention of expecting something in return. I helped you out because you were already having a bad enough day with Slughorn-”

You scoffed, “‘Cause pity makes me feel so much better.”

“Wait- no- listen. You were having a bad day and yeah, I felt bad, but I’ve seen you before.”

“...What the hell does that mean?”

“It means, I’ve watched you. Not in a creepy way, but in an admiration way? You help people without expecting anything in return. Whether it be people who don’t deserve it or even it’s just explaining the lesson in a different way so that someone could understand it better. You’re a good person. A good person having a bad day and I just so happened to be there… And I’m sorry if I made you think I was taking advantage of you, those weren’t my intentions. I just hope you’ll forgive me.”

You swallowed, “And if I were to forgive you?”

“I’d be eternally grateful.”

“But you’d still ask me for help…” 

“No.”

There was something in his eyes that made you feel he was telling the truth. You sighed deeply, finalizing your decision. “I’ll help you,” He smiled. “But on a few conditions.”

“Of course, fire away.”

“One, don’t lie to me; there’s no point, and it’s stupid. Two, communicate with me. We aren’t actually dating but we have to act like it. Three, you take me to Hogsmeade this weekend.”

“Don’t you have detention this weekend?”

“Damn it, you’re right. I guess you’ll just have to take me the weekend after,” Remus visibly stiffened. 

“U-Um no, it’s okay, we’ll go this weekend, I’m kinda busy the weekend after. I think I can figure something to get you out. C’mon, let’s get you to class.”

“Yessir.”

“By the way, how’d you find out about Mary?” He asked as he took your hand in his, walking out of the library.

“My roommate, Marlene McKinnon.”

Eventually the weekend rolled around and you stood in front of the blackboard in Slughorn’s class, writing out ‘I will not be late to class’ 100 times. You were on number 59 when a knock rapped at the door. 

“Come in!” Slughorn yelled, not looking up from grading papers.

“Professor Slughorn,” McGonagall came in, in an all black robe covering her shoulders down to her feet. She surprisingly wasn’t wearing her hat.

“Oh, Professor McGonagall,” Slughorn stood up out of respect. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was wondering if I could borrow Miss Y/l/n,” Your heart rate sped up, what could McGonagall possibly want with you?

“Whatever for, if I may ask?”

“...No… Let us go, Y/n.”

You turned to Slughorn, “Goodbye, professor,” He said nothing. You stepped out of the classroom, walking a step ahead of her. “Professor, if I may, what is-” You were pulled by your arm into a secluded section of the hallway. She stood in front of you, staring into your eyes. “Professor…?... Are you okay?” She said nothing, but the strangest thing happened- She grew- at least 4 inches. Her face morphing into one that you recognized. “Sirius?!” His hand slapped over your mouth.

“Shh!” The hand over your mouth slowly released you.

“You used a polyjuice potion?” You whisper-yelled. “Doesn’t that take like a month to brew??”

“We made a big batch a while ago, not the point- The point is we’ve come to get you out.”

“We?” You heard a throat being cleared, and you both looked to see Remus, James, and Peter standing at the end of the hallway. You suddenly realized the close proximity to Black and took a step back. “Oh uh, wow, this is not what it looks like.”

“We know,” James smirked. Remus grabbed your arm, stringing you along behind him. 

“Rem, my arm,” He stopped walking and turned to you.

“M’ sorry.”

“It’s alright. Hey, thank you, for getting me out.”

“Tuh,” Sirius passed you guys. “Because I wasn’t there, right?”

“Thank you, Sirius!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You turned back to Remus, grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly. “C’mon,” You pulled him, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Ugh, get a room!”

A blanket of snow covered the floor and the roofs of the different shops. You and Remus walked side by side, holding hands, a few meters away from the rest of his friend group.

“Y’know, that was really sweet.”

“What was?”

“The whole ‘getting me out of detention’ thing. It was sweet,” You weren’t sure if it was the cold or the compliment, but his cheeks and the tips of his ears turned pink.

“I-”

“Oi! Lovebirds!” James called. The two of you looked ahead to see his glasses fogged and him waving you over. The boy stepped inside, leaving you and Remus out in the cold. You shivered, not having a jacket because you thought you were going to be writing on a chalkboard inside the castle all weekend.

“Oh, hey...” Remus seemed to have noticed your freezing state because he shrugged off his jacket and handed it to you

“No, I can’t-”

“I insist,” He smiled. “We’re about to go inside anyway,” You smiled back and took the jacket, inserting your arms in the sleeves. It was warm, and it smelled like old books, tea, and oddly enough… chocolate. “You okay?” He held your hand once again.

You smiled at the contact, “Yeah, I’m good.”

The Three Broomsticks was lively to say the least. You could barely hear yourself think. You were about to ask Remus where you should sit when hands waving in the distance caught your eye. You pointed them out at Remus and he led you through the crowded pub. The corner that the boys chose was a lot quieter but was still relatively loud. As you sat down next to Remus, you noticed that on the far end of the table was Marlene. She took a sip of her drink, maintaining eye contact. You cleared your throat and took a seat. You sat across from James, Remus across from Peter, and Lily across from Sirius. There was one seat empty, at your end of the table. As you wondered who could possibly be occupying the seat, a girl walked over with a tray of butterbeers. She handed one to everyone, including Remus, except you. 

“Oh, darn, I’m sorry,” She apologized. “I didn’t realize someone else was coming.”

“...But you got one for Remus,” You looked around and saw everyone had a drink in front of them. You expected someone to help you out, but no one did. 

“Do you want mine?” She offered.

“No, it’s okay,” You quickly smiled.

She smiled back and sat down, taking a sip of her butterbeer. “Oh, silly me,” She extended her hand, “I didn’t introduce myself- I’m Mary MacDonald.” 

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[royalbloodedbastards]

chatzy // un-bad sex pt. I

DATE: Tuesday, May 5, 2020 CHARACTERS: Alec, Kieran, Malia, Parker ABOUT: The Devil Wears Prada, Alec wears cargo shorts. Coconut milk, cow’s milk, Jack’s milk. A round of roasts and a round of toasts.

Kieran was just finishing rimming a round of glasses with salt when there was a knock at the door. "Can one of you get that, please?"

Parker started to set up the blender and all of his ingredients. "I'm busy testing the Pina Colada recipe!" He called from the kitchen.

Alec hopped up immediately. "You betcha!" They jogged over to the door and opened it. "Welcome! Bienvenue! Enter please."

Kieran looked up at the mention of piña coladas, suddenly wondering if he was meant to be rimming the glasses with salt. He laughed to himself then starting wiping the glasses clean with a napkin before Parker noticed.

Malia walked in through the doorway, her face lighting up at the sight of Alec. "Hi best friend," she said, kissing their cheek on her way inside. "Hello brothers!"

Alec beamed back and stepped aside to let her in. After closing the door, they headed over to Kieran to watch what he was doing.

Parker gave Malia a small wave and covered his ears as he turned the blender on.

"Hey Mal," Kieran called back. He smirked at Alec and pushed them away while he wiped the salt off the rims. "Don't look at me."

Alec laughed and swayed away when Kieran pushed them until they had to take a step back. "I love when my pina coladas taste like salt. Really reminds me of sitting on a beach." They grinned at him.

Malia slid into a seat at the table, watching Alec settle next to Kieran. Her eyes narrowed as she watched their interaction, but she looked away before either of them could sense her stare. She looked to Parker and stood, walking over to his side. "Need any help?" she asked once the blender was off.

"Alright, this one's yours," Kieran retorted, sliding the only remaining salted cup toward Alec. "Enjoy the sodium."

Parker shook his head and smiled as he held up the blender. "These are vegan," he said proudly.

Alec gave Parker two thumbs up and a grin. "Woohoo!" They picked up the glass Kieran slid towards them and licked some of the salt. "I don't remember the last time I had a pina colada."

Malia wasn't sure how difficult it was to make these vegan, but she beamed anyway. "Oooh, impressive! I haven't had one either, in like forever." She glanced over to Kieran and Alec briefly. "What are we watching?"

Kieran gave Parker a light round of applause. "Your wonders never cease." He then stood and walked over to the living room area and picked up the DVD case of The Devil Wears Prada. "An old favorite."

Parker beamed at the praise and walked over to fill the glasses. He tilted his head at Alec's and furrowed his brow. "Is that... salt?"

Alec pressed their lips together so they didn't laugh. "Mhm!"

"Ugh, yes. Kieran, I love you." She walked over to where he left the glasses and picked them up so Parker could pour their drinks at his station.

Kieran gave Mal a smile and tried not to laugh at Parker's confusion. "I may have misunderstood. I was just very excited at the prospect of rimming a glass."

"I'm curious to try it," Alec contributed.

Malia thought this was proof enough but kept any commentary she had to herself and pressed her lips together to hide a smile. She leaned against a counter to wait for the drinks to be poured.

Parker laughed and shook his head at Kieran. "I can make margaritas next time." He poured some of the drink into Alec's salted glass.

Alec took a sip and considered the taste for a few seconds. "I feel like Remy," they decided. "This is putting fireworks in my mind."

Parker frowned when Alec called themself Remy and seemed to be thinking about something for a moment. He shook his head and poured glasses for Malia and Kieran.

Kieran snorted as he returned to the kitchen to retrieve his own glass. "Perhaps I'm just an innovator then." He picked up his glass and waited for Mal and Parker to do the same.

Malia picked up her glass and intended to bring Kieran's over to him, but he returned to grab his own before she could. She didn't move, wanting to wait to see where the others decided to arrange themselves before sitting herself.

Alec lifted their glass in cheers. "Thanks for making these, Parker!"

"Seconded," Kieran added, also lifting his glass.

Parker poured the last glass and took it for himself. "No problem. I'll be sure to add a spoonful of salt to the next batch."

Malia lifted her glass as well, then immediately lowered it. "Ew, Parker."

"Desgostang," Kieran whispered in faux disapproval.

Alec snorted, then covered their mouth.

Parker rolled his eyes but smiled. "You guys always bully me. I hate this family," he said dramatically.

Malia laughed, lifting her glass again toward Kieran. She finally took a sip while she glanced at Alec, then turned to Parker and lightly hit his arm. "Parks, shut up, you love us. Also, this is super good."

Kieran finally took a sip, then nodded in agreement. "It's true. I only bully you to keep you humble, lest you discover your limitless talents and leave us all in the dust." Kieran returned back to the couch, sitting in the middle left, where he normally sat for these nights.

Alec paused to take another sip then followed Kieran to the couch and sat beside him, pulling their legs in front of them. "I would die for Meryl Streep."

"My limitless talents," Parker repeated after Kieran under his breath, laughed, and walked into the living room after Kieran, then took a seat next to him on the couch. "I can love you guys and still hate this family."

"Don't be rude, Parker," Malia scoffed as she sat in the last available spot next to Alec. She nudged them lightly. "I would also die for Meryl Streep," she said to just them.

"I don't think Meryl Streep would very much appreciate my diabetic sacrificial corpse, so I unfortunately cannot say the same," Kieran sighed.

Parker snorted into his drink and shook his head. "You guys are so weird."

Alec sighed happily at the validation from Malia. They tilted their head to rest on her shoulder. "You get me."

Malia wrinkled her nose at Kieran's comment. She hummed and kissed the top of Alec's head. She glanced back up to her brothers and then at the TV.

Once everyone was settled, Kieran leaned forward to grab the remote and hit play. "This one I have seen before, so snide commentary is welcome." He turned to look at Alec then added, "Assuming that we've all seen it before as well."

Alec lifted their head to smile at Kieran. "I have! Like, ten times, my stepmom was obsessed with it."

"Of course I've seen this before, Kieran," Malia said to the TV before taking another sip of her drink.

"The question was not directed at you, Malia. I do believe we've watched this together." Kieran leaned back against the couch, gave Alec's leg a pat, and started bobbing along to the opening song.

Alec laughed and settled so their arm was against Kieran's. They took a sip of their pina colada. "I love all the clothes in this movie. I want someone to let me loose in a giant closet."

Parker drew his feet up onto the couch, not answering the question because Kieran already knew that he'd seen the movie. "This could be my story, guys."

Kieran snorted. "Yes, I could very much see you as the boyfriend who complains about Jarlsberg cheese."

Parker scoffed. "Shut up. I meant because you all roast me for not dressing well, and then I could become a fashion icon."

Alec leaned forward to grin at Parker. "Are you asking for a full makeover?"

Malia laughed. "Because I'll totally do it, Parker. We all will. I'm just waiting for the day."

"Malia is the closest thing to Miranda you can find in New Athens," Kieran agreed. "Style-wise," he added with a chuckle.

Alec gasped and turned towards Malia. "It can be like what we were talking about! I can hand you the monkey wrench!"

Malia's grin widened over her face. "Oh my gods, our time has come, Alec!"

Parker rolled his eyes at everyone's excitement at the idea of him getting a makeover. "You guys act like I dress like a four year old. I'm sorry that t-shirts and jeans are comfortable, guys." He smiled and sipped his drink. "But maybe we can do one of those one day, yeah. Since you wanted to take me shopping anyway, Malia."

Alec nodded excitedly. "Just tell me what to do." They turned back towards the movie and drank more of their pina colada. Nudging Kieran, they nodded their head towards the screen. "Who's your favourite?"

"Of the characters in the movie or of the women presently enrobing onscreen?" Kieran chortled.

"All of them!" Alec grinned. "More choice."

Malia gave Parker a thumbs up and blew him a kiss from her spot on the other side of the couch, not wanting to continue the conversation over Kieran and Alec's heads.

"Well Miranda Priestley is obviously the character I empathize most with in the movie, but I suppose that Andi has some merits as well," Kieran offered with a shrug.

Alec nodded along, watching the screen. "Pina coladas are the perfect drink for this movie. I don't know why, but they are."

Parker smiling, taking that as a personal compliment, and then nodded. "Because they're sort of fancy?"

"Because they're sort of fancy," Alec agreed. "Good choice!"May 9, 2020

As they movie reached its closing, Kieran slapped his lap, nearly splashing the cup of rum in his other hand. "Well! I can confidently say that this movie did not bring me to tears. My condolences to Lady Streep, she gave a wonderful performance."

Parker snickered. "Lady Streep." He brought the cup to his lips to sip his rum and leaned back into the couch. "I think this movie is... quite sad."

Malia finished her pina colada very quickly and Kieran had passed out rum, so her face was warm and she was fully leaning into Alec. "This is not a weepy Streep performance," she agreed with Kieran, and then frowned at Parker. "Why!"

Kieran chuckled at Parker's thoughts. "Yes, Parker, why indeed?"

Alec laughed and wrapped an arm around Malia's shoulders as the movie ended. "How is it sad!"

Parker frowned. "I don't think anyone in it is ever happy. They're all so..." He took a long moment to find a word. "Vapid." He was pretty sure he was using it correctly. "And you're supposed to find it funny, or something, but then the whole thing is like..." He frowned and shook his head. "It doesn't matter. You guys are gonna make fun of me." He smiled. "I like the movie."

"Nonsense." Kieran slung an arm around Parker, mirroring Alec and Malia. "I value your opinions always, regardless of any impression my acerbic personality may impart on you."

"Noooooo," Malia said, her frown turning into a pout. "We won't make fun of you Parks, I promise."

Parker laughed. "You would have if I hadn't said that." He rested a hand on his cheek. "Acerbic personality," he repeated to himself under his breath and nodded. "I just found it sad."

Alec blinked, considering Parker's words. "Oh that.... that is sad."

Kieran pressed his lips into a smirk and just glanced over at Malia, ever so slightly shaking his head. He hoped she would understand everything he wanted to say in that moment.

Malia made eye contact with Kieran and smiled slightly, then turned her attention back to Alec. She shook their shoulder. "Not you, too!"

Alec laughed when Malia shook their shoulder. "It is! That's so sad." They leaned to their other side and put their head on Kieran's shoulder. "But still a great movie."

Kieran squeezed Alec's leg as they rested their head on his shoulder. "We need upliftment! Uplifting? We need to be uplifted!"

Malia watched this interaction with interest. She looked over to Parker, then to Kieran, giggling. "I agree." But before she got up, she tugged on Alec's shirt twice and hoped that would be enough to indicate that she wanted to talk.

Parker crossed his ankle over his knee and smiled a bit whimsically at nothing in particular. "I do like the movie. Sad movies are also good."

Alec smiled to themself and turned their head to press their cheek into Kieran's shoulder. "We do!" When Malia tugged their shirt they lifted their head and tilted it in question to her.

"Sad movies are good and necessary," Kieran agreed. "Sad movies are the broccolini of popular culture. Unpleasant and fibrous, but critical for our well-being."

Parker laughed and sipped more of his drink. "The broccoli of popular culture?"

She realized after the fact that she had no way of having this conversation in private without drawing attention to herself. Malia pulled out her phone and tapped Alec's shoulder with it, then wrote out a message to them.

so are u making the rounds w aphrodite kids? (; u two are vvvvv cute tho

"The broccolini," Kieran clarified. "More stemmy and strandy. Nowhere near as enjoyable as a tender floret."

Alec looked between Malia's face and her phone, trying to figure out what she was attempting to tell them. Somewhere over by where they had left their shoes, their ringer chirped. "Hm?"

Parker blinked and nodded, not fully understanding what this had to do with movies. "That makes sense."

Malia sighed and rolled her head back on the couch. "Best friend, I have some hot gossip for you," she said quietly, hoping her brothers were too wrapped up in discussions of broccolini to notice. "Can we go whisper in the kitchen? Whisper."

"Whisper," Alec repeated back to her in a loud whisper as they hopped to their feet. "Okay!"

Kieran turned toward Alec as they got off the couch to join Malia. He narrowed his eyes at them. "I hope you're not retreating from the sofa to exchange pernicious gossip about my best friend." He squeezed Parker closer. "In our own home."

Alec grinned at Kieran. "I would never." They winked at him and turned to saunter towards the kitchen.

Malia gasped and put her hand to her chest in playful offense. "Kieran! How dare you accuse me of such a thing." She got up and followed Alec to the kitchen.

Parker smiled and let himself be pulled closer to Kieran, resting his head against his shoulder for a moment as he did. He smiled and then raised his head to look at the other two. "What are you gossiping about, then?"

"What?" Alec laughed and shrugged at Parker once they reached the kitchen. "I dunno."

"We too can gossip," Kieran pointed out before turning to Parker. In a hushed slur, he murmured, "This feels supicious."

Parker ducked his head and raised his eyebrows. "Them, or us? They both feel suspicious." He kept his voice low, then hiccuped.

Malia was tempted to say this was gossip about Chase or Cyrus so Parker would back off and Kieran would follow suit, but thought she might upset him and he seemed to already be on the verge. So, she just waved her hand dismissively at her brothers as she looked at Alec. "Hi," she said, hugging them. Then she whispered in their ear, "how long have you and Kieran been a thing? I swear to the gods if you answer me loudly I'm gonna throttle you."

"Them," Kieran clarified. He looked back over their shoulder to see Malia whispering. "What do you think they're discussing?"

Alec almost answered her loudly before her words sunk in, and they cautiously lowered their volume. "Oh." They pressed a hand to their cheek and smiled at her, glancing back over at Kieran briefly. "A thing? I don't know."

Parker looked over at Malia and Alec over the back of the couch and then looked back at Kieran. He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "Us, probably? If they had to separate to talk about it." He glanced back at the kitchen and frowned slightly. "I wish they could have waited until tomorrow."

Malia sighed. "Okay. Well..." She could feel the mounting suspicion radiating from the couch and sighed again. "It's cute. That's all." She turned to the counter, grabbing the bottle of rum that Kieran had left out. "Who wants more?" she asked, walking back over to her brothers.

Alec smiled more at her comment and followed after her. "Cool." They headed back over and sat back down next to Kieran. "I'm good for now!" they answered even though the question wasn't directed at them.

Kieran gave Parker's shoulder a squeeze. "Fret not, brother." Before he could continue, Malia and Alec came back over. "I will have more if Parker has more."

Parker smiled at Kieran and then laughed. "I was going to have more if you did." He looked at the rum still in his cup, drained it, and then held his cup out to Malia. "I am not trying to make alcoholics of us, I swear."

Kieran did the same, downing his glass in one shot and holding it out to Malia. "Thank you kindly."

Malia beamed and poured the rum into Parker's glass, then turned to Kieran. She made eye contact with him and was suddenly overcome with affection for her brother. Her smile softened and she filled up his glass. "Good, because I'm having more, too." She walked back around the couch and filled up her glass as well. "Should we cheers something again?"

Alec laughed and pulled their legs up to their chest. "Wait, can I have more too? I feel left out."

Malia giggled and refilled their cup, too. "Sorry for the peer pressure!"

"Thanks!" Parker chirpled, smiled at Malia, and held his glass up. "Don't be pressured into drinking!" He looked at Alec and shook his head. "We can all go dry."

"I take it gladly!" Alec grinned at Parker. "I'll just drink it slowly."

Kieran raised his glass. "To Meryl? To sadness? To..." Kieran searched for something to cheers. "Suggestions are welcome."

"To quality time with others?" Alec suggested.

"To broccolini?" Parker tilted his head. He giggled. "To the chickpea?"

Kieran gave smiles in both Alec's and Parker's directions. "Such diverse reasons for celebration. Anything you'd like to contribute, Malia?"

Malia sat on the arm of the couch. "Um, to you, Kieran. You made this little movie night group a thing and I'm feeling sappy about it."

Alec grinned. "To Kieran, time with friends, and the chickpea."

Parker grinned widely and held his glass higher. "To Kieran!"

Kieran raised his glass, a big smile plastered on his face. "I'm truly honored." He looked beside him at Parker, then up at Malia. "And actually..." Kieran rose to his feet. "While the attention is diverted my way, I was hoping to talk to you all about something. Perhaps... Now would be a good time?"

Alec tilted their head to one side and watched him curiously.

Parker rested his hand on his cheek and nodded as he sipped his drink.

Kieran only realized once he was standing how unintentionally formal his announcement seemed. He looked between Malia, Alec, and Parker. Kieran stuffed a hand in his pocket and furrowed his brow. "Apologies, that was far more deliberate and momentous than I had anticipated." He went to sit back down. "Never mind, actually."

"Nooooo," Malia said, standing and moving in front of Kieran on the couch. "You gotta tell us. Here, I'll stand, you can stay there and say whatever it is from the casual comfort of sitting down."

Alec smiled at Kieran. "Now I want to know!"

Parker pressed his cheek into the couch. "Don't pressure him, you'll make him uncomfortable." He closed his eyes and sipped his drink. "Let's make less formal, more casual conversation, and you can bring it up once we've moved on and forgotten?"

"Thank you, Parker," Kieran agreed with a nod. "It's truly not a big deal. And the matter of the fact is that you already know anyway," Kieran explained, looking at Alec.

Parker didn't already know, but he nodded anyway.

Alec blinked a few times. "Oh!" They got it now and nodded with a laugh. "Right, yeah."

Malia's brow furrowed in confusion, but after a moment, it clicked for her. "Oh." Her expression shifted and she tried to cover it up quickly, as if she was responding to Parker. "... Okay, fine, let's talk about something else," she said before lifting her drink to her lips.

"Let's," Kieran agreed, taking a sip as well. He sat in silence waiting for someone else to say something.

Alec took the silence as a cue. "So when are you guys gonna do a makeover montage?"

Parker didn't seem to notice anything wrong. He leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. "I think you guys should do that with Alec, not me. They dress much worse than I do."

Malia gasped, a smile coming to her face. "Wow, Alec, are you going to take that?"

Alec gasped as well. "What! Hey! I don't dress great but I'm not terrible!"

"I just dress plainly," Parker said with a shrug. "I've seen you wear cargo shorts."

Alec leaned over Kieran to poke Parker's chest. "One pair! I own one pair!"

Kieran snorted. "That is very fair. Parker may be colorblind, but he opts for a timeless silhouette," Kieran brought up to Mal.

Parker opened his eyes and laughed as he slapped Alec's hand away. "You've worn them." He smiled at Kieran and then nodded at Malia. "I'm timeless."

Alec grinned when Parker slapped their hand away, then sat back and leaned against Kieran again. "Rarely."

Malia sighed, nodding her head side to side. "True enough, and Alec, the cargo shorts are disgusting..... Look! I've never said you dress terribly every day! Just that you could use some clothes with a better fit and more... cohesion? Really it's your formal wear that I hated but you're doing better, so..." She shrugged.

Parker hiccupped again. "So no makeover montage?"

"I would offer to dress you in my personal wardrobe for this montage, but I don't believe that either you or Alec would fit in my clothes," Kieran snorted. "Although our friend Jack did fit in one of my linens quite nicely."

"Yes makeup montage," she said, giggling. "Absolutely makeover montage. Everyone could use those." She looked to Kieran. "Aw, when did that happen? Wait, and what for?"

Alec laughed. "I could sure try!" They looked between Malia and Kieran and waited for the answer.

Parker tilted his head and blinked at Kieran. "Why did Jack borrow your clothes?" He nodded along to Malia's questions. "It's like when he borrowed Rian's shit, remember that?" He squinted, trying to see if he also remembered correctly.

"It was a few weeks ago, he needed formal attire for a job interview. But don't indicate to him that I've told you any of this. He seemed pretty sheepish about the whole affair," Kieran explained with a chuckle.

"Awwww." Malia put her hand to her face. "I want to give him a makeover montage now. I do remember that, Parker, I think he just didn't have another option and Rian was his friend? I dunno, that was a weird night."

"Oh." Parker pressed a hand into his cheek and smiled. "He got the job, I think, if it's the one I'm thinking of." He smiled wider and pressed his face into the couch again. He shrugged at Malia.

Alec didn't know who Rian was so they just nodded along. "What job was it?"

"Some sort of farm work, correct?" Kieran asked. "At least that's what he told me."

Parker giggled again. "He's a milkman. He gets the stuff from the cows and everything!" He laughed and closed his eyes again. "He needs to..." He shook his head, realizing that Jack might be embarrassed about him laughing at his work. "He just needs to deliver milk."

Alec pressed their hands to their cheeks. "That's adorable, what the fuck?"

Kieran's brows raised in amusement. "I wasn't aware that service was still provided in this century."

Parker pressed his hand somehow further into his cheek, as if trying to become one with the couch. "It is!" It wasn't clear which person he was replying to.

Alec settled into the couch and rested their head on Kieran's shoulder again. "Does he deliver milk here?" they asked Parker.

Kieran chortled and let his head fall onto Alec's. "Yes, can I place an order?"

Parker's eyes were still closed. "I don't know, I've never had his milk. He'd probably drop dead if I asked him to deliver it to me."

Alec covered their mouth with a hand. "Oh my god."

"You've never had his milk," Malia repeated with another giggle. She had finished her drink while the others talked and now her head was definitely buzzing. "Don't embarrass him, Parks, he's too cute for that."

Kieran had to cover his face with his hand to suppress the laughter bubbling in his chest. He turned away from Parker and shut his eyes, just shaking his head.

Alec tilted their head to watch Kieran's expression for a moment with a smile, then laughed at what Malia said. "If you ask him I bet he'd give you his milk," they volunteered to Parker.

Malia pressed a hand to her mouth so she wouldn't laugh out loud. "Oh my gods," she said into her palm.

Kieran dropped his head and snorted. He smacked Alec's leg with the palm of his hand.

Alec grinned at Kieran. "What? I'm just saying."

Parker opened his eyes and looked at his siblings, then to Alec, and scoffed. "Shut up!" He flushed red and pressed a hand to his forehead. "Oh my God. Oh my..." He shook his head and covered his face with one hand. "Get out of my house."

Alec threw their head back as they laughed.

"I, for one, support him in all his endeavors." Kieran raised his glass for a moment. "And I'm happy to hear his interview went well." He took a sip of the rum.

Alec was still laughing but they nodded along with Kieran. "That's great for him! I'm just making fun of Parker."

"Me too," Malia said. "I'm super happy for Jack! But you brought this upon yourself, Parks."

Parker rolled his eyes and groaned, then pressed his face further into the couch. "I didn't! You are all just dirty minded and gross. I was talking about cow's milk!"

Alec grinned more at him. "That's not very nice."

Malia laughed, wiping imaginary tears from her eyes. "Thank you for clarifying, Parker."

"Alright, alright," Kieran chuckled. "Yes, it's very easy to poke fun at my brother. But let's redirect, shall we?" Kieran stood and turned to face the others, gesturing as if to direct their attention. He stood there silent for a moment, then confessed, "I have nothing more to say."

Alec held it together until Kieran finished his sentence, when they immediately cracked up again. "No, stay up there! You look so official!"

"Very easy," Parker whispered after Kieran and shook his head, then stood as well. "I think... I am going to bed."

"Does that mean we have to leave?" Malia asked, pouting.

"Oh no," Kieran responded sadly. "Please stay, the room feels much emptier without you."

Alec frowned too. "Don't leave!"

Parker was warm, sleepy, and embarrassed, but he also had people almost begging him to stay, so he took a seat again, and leaned against the arm on the couch. He sipped his drink. "Let's make fun of Malia now."

"Yes!" Kieran wasn't sure whether he was agreeing or celebrating Parker's decision to stay. He took a seat on the floor in front of Parker so he could rest his arm on Parker's lap. "Perhaps a nice roast around the room is in order."

"Hmmm, no, that's okay," Malia said, shaking her head. "We can not do that."

Alec turned to Malia and tried to think of something they could possibly make fun of her for. They came up blank. "But there's nothing?"

"Oh, why not? Parker's always a good sport about our mockery, it's only fair that we spread the love."

Parker smiled at Kieran. “Let’s do a roast. We’ve already done me and Alec.” He looked at Alec, and then Malia. “You...” He squinted and then frowned. “Say something embarrassing.”

"Thank you, Alec!" Malia said, beaming at them. "I knew we were best friends for a reason." She made a face at Parker. "Absolutely not."

Alec laughed. "I sound like some suck up, eh?"

"Ah, what about that dog?" Kieran grinned up at Parker. "Did we ever show Malia that lovely dog we found at the park? The one that reminds us of her?"

Parker nodded solemnly at Alec and then laughed and shook his head. “Oh! No! We went on a scavenger hunt! And we found you at the park!” He smiled and tilted his head at Kieran. “Do you have the pictures?”

Malia raised an eyebrow. "Am I going to be insulted?"

Kieran nodded excitedly. "I have them." He pulled up his phone and started scrolling through his photos before pulling up a photograph of Parker posing beside a small, nearly hairless dog. He held it up so Alec and Malia could see. "Behold."

Alec clapped their hands over their mouth so they didn't laugh out loud. "Oh my god."

Parker smiled innocently at Malia. “Isn’t it cute?”

Malia's mouth fell open in horror. "Ew!" she exclaimed, pushing Kieran's hand away. "Ew! That's supposed to be me? That's so rude! You two are so mean!"

Kieran laughed and slipped his phone back into his pocket. "We did it," he told Parker with a smirk.

Parker pressed his lips together to hide his smile and then tilted his head. “I don’t know what you mean, Mal. That’s Jack’s dog. I think he’s so cute!” He bit his lip and started laughing once he looked at Kieran.

"That is not Little Jack, you lying liar!" Malia said, leaning over so she could glare at him. "You really think I don't follow him on Instagram?"

"Little Jack has an instagram?" Alec asked.

Kieran narrowed his eyes. "Jack's dog's name is also... Jack?"

“Um, his name is lil’ Jack, actually.” Parker laughed softly and rubbed his face, thoroughly drunk and amused. “I never knew about the instagram, though.”

Malia laughed again. "No, Jack has an Instagram, which I follow? Because we're friends? And he posted his dog on there."

"Interesting," Kieran muttered. He hesitated for a second then pulled out his phone to bring up Instagram. Kieran pulled up jack's profile and narrowed his eyes. He almost said something out loud, but decided against it, hit the follow button, and just put his phone back down.

“Oh!” Alec laughed. “I thought the dog had one too. I already follow Jack.”

Parker laughed once he understood. "Oh... I follow him too. I don't follow lil' Jack though."

Malia didn't bother trying to correct Parker. She sat back on the couch, crossing her arms. "Anyway! You two are jerks. I look nothing like that dog."

"It's not about the look," Kieran protested. "It's the spirit of the dog."

"Ew, Kieran!" Malia looked distressed. "That doesn't make me feel any better!"

Alec laughed again and rubbed Malia's back. "The spirit of the dog? Like... its ghost?"

Parker grinned as Kieran spoke. “Yeah! It’s like, you have that cute-endearing thing going on. And the confidence to show it off.”

"Exactly," Kieran agreed, pointing to Parker. "The zeal of the pooch. Not the ghost," he snorted.

She was prepared to be offended again, but instead her brothers said something actually kind of nice. "Oh," she said, sniffing. "Why didn't you open with that?"

Parker smirked. “Because we wanted you to see the ugly dog and screech.”

Kieran nodded in agreement, grinning. "It's the truth."

Alec took a long sip of their drink so they were less obvious about laughing at Malia.

Her eyes narrowed and she huffed. "Boys," she said derisively. "Okay, congrats, you got what you wanted." Malia flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Are we done making fun of me now?"

"We can conclude," Kieran confirmed with a nod. "I feel satisfied."

Parker nodded. "And thus concludes our roast."

Alec looked between the siblings and took another sip. "Can we have more pina coladas? They were so good."

"Thank you," she said, her voice clipped. Malia patted Alec's arm, nodding. "I agree. They were super good."

Parker rested his cheek on his hand. "Uh, yeah. Should I make them?"

"I can help if it's easy," Alec offered.

"Dishes," Kieran offered plainly.

Parker nodded once and stood, then shrugged at Alec. "It's not hard, just coconut milk and pineapple and rum. And a blender." He started, somewhat unsteadily, towards the kitchen.

Alec hopped up. "One more for both of you?" they asked Kieran and Malia.

Kieran caught Parker's glance and almost spoke up, but Alec suddenly hopped up. "Sure." Kieran downed the remainder of his cup and held it out to Alec.

Alec took the cup with a smile and followed Parker into the kitchen. They caught up with him as he got to the blender and put their and Kieran's glasses down on the counter. "You good?" they asked cheerfully.

Once Parker and Alec were in the kitchen, Kieran turned to Malia. "So what was that rendezvous with Alec in the kitchen about?"

Parker nodded. "Just tired." He blinked and pulled the blender out of the sink, then started to measure everything out. "Did you like the movie?"

Alec smiled at him and leant against the counter. "Figured it's last call. Yeah! I'm still willing to lay my life down in front of Meryl Streep. Did you?"

With Alec gone from her side and the couch free, Malia extended her legs over the cushions and crossed her ankles. She studied Kieran's face and pursed her lips. "Hmmm," she started, then smiled. She shifted again, this time laying across the couch but her her head resting close to wear Kieran was still seated on the floor. She spoke quietly so the others wouldn't hear. "About you."

Parker dumped all the ingredients in unceremoniously. He covered his ears as he turned the blender on and nodded, then turned it off before responding. "Did I... lay down my life for Meryl Streep?"

Alec covered their ears too and waited for the blender to stop. They stared at Parker for a few seconds as they waited for his words to make sense. "Huh?"

Kieran's eyebrows rose. He was convinced that they had been talking about Parker. "What about me?"

Parker stared back at them, eyebrows furrowed. "What did you ask me?"

Alec blinked. "I don't remember. What did I ask?"

Parker laughed. "I just asked you that!"

"Oh!" Alec laughed as well. "Yeah. Fuck, eh?"

Malia smiled wider. "Do you want me to say it out loud or can I leave this heavy implication hanging in the air?"

Kieran blinked. "It's not an implication if you haven't hinted toward anything."

"Huh..." Parker didn't know where to go from there, so he took the blender to pour them more drinks, then realized he hadn't finished his other rum. He looked down at his glass. "Should I... down it?"

Sighing, Malia turned so she was on her back. "I was asking them about how long," she paused, then lifted her hand slightly and gesturing vaguely, "you two, have been going on."

Alec put a hand on Parker's shoulder. "Do what you gotta do," they said solemnly.

Kieran's back straightened up. "Oh." He glanced over at Alec in the kitchen then back at Malia. "They told you about that?"

Parker stared at Alec blankly for a moment, then grinned. He held up the blender. "I'll pour some for you guys first?"

"No," she chirped, looking at him to study his face carefully. "I'm just that good. They gave me a very vague answer, I think like, for your sake?"

Kieran nodded slowly. "Well... It's a vague situation, so a vague answer would only be appropriate."

"Sure! I can pour while you drink?" Alec squinted at the glasses. "We're missing one."

She nodded. "Make sense. Is that what you were gonna tell us before?"

Parker sipped his drink and shook his head. "Hm, Mal's." He started back towards the couch. "Here is..." He said, putting the blender down on the coffee table. "These coladas."

A smile tugged at Kieran's lips. Before he could answer, Parker was back. "You're a gentleman and a scholar," he thanked Parker.

Alec followed Parker and sat down on the ground, placing their own and Kieran's cups on the table beside the blender.

Malia blew Parker a kiss. "Thank youuuuuu." She sat up and found her glass on the table. "Who is the least drunk and can pour right now?"

Alec sat up on their knees. "I am not the least drunk but! I can pour."

She laughed, holding her glass out. "How do you know? Kieran, how drunk are you?"

"Drunker than I appear, but not so drunk that I couldn't distribute a cocktail," Kieran offered.

"Assuming! 'Cause I'm a lightweight." Alec picked up the blender and filled Malia's cup without spilling. "But I got a steady hand."

Parker smiled at both of his siblings. He drained the rest of his glass and then held it out for Alec to pour. He leaned back against the couch from where he was positioned on the floor in front of the coffee table and closed his eyes again. "I am... not the most drunk." He hiccuped. "The least drunk," he corrected himself.

Alec hesitated in filling Parker's glass. "But you're sure you want some more?" they asked Parker.

"You do," she said, watching the drink fill up her glass. She looked at Alec and Kieran sitting next to each other admiringly and then focused on Parker again. "I think you are maybe the most drunk, Parks, or maybe you're just sleepy."

"I don't believe those two statements are mutually exclusive," Kieran pointed out. "Though I would very much like to feel whatever it is that Parker is feeling." Kieran turned back to grab his and Alec's glasses of the table, waiting for Alec to finish before holding it out to them.

Parker opened his eyes again and took a moment to let them focus. "I think it is both." He nodded slowly. He tipped his head back to smile at Kieran when he seemed to agree with him, and then picked his head up fully to look at Alec. "How else will we cheers?"

Malia giggled. You can just lift your empty glass and take a sip of mine!"

"Nonsense," Kieran dismissed. "Give the man his piña!"

Alec bit the inside of their cheek as they smiled and filled Parker's glass, though not to the top. They shook their head at him, amused, and turned to pour the rest into the glasses Kieran was holding out. There was still some left in the blender considering Parker's cup was just over half full, but they returned it to the table anyway. "You can't cheers with an empty glass, Malia! That's terrible luck! It's like curse level bad luck."

"Ugh, you're right!" Malia said with a distressed gasp. "I'm sorry Parker, I almost cursed you."

"It's worse than a cheers without eye contact, but only by a tiny bit." Alec lifted their glass.

Parker watched all of this as if observing a tennis match. He blinked at Malia vacantly, then looked at Alec. "That's bad sex."

Alec snapped and pointed at Parker. "Yeah! That's bad sex!"

Kieran nodded solemnly. "Bad sex."

Malia nodded. "Yeah. I don't ever have to worry about that, but you all should be careful."

Parker tossed his head back as he laughed at Malia.

"Sure. I'll keep a cautious eye out for bad sex," Kieran snorted.

Alec sighed. "You're so lucky," they said to Malia.

"Like you aren't the lucky bastard!" Malia exclaimed to Alec. "I just have it for sex, you have it for everything."

Alec laughed and pointed at her. "Hey! I'm just saying your blessing is fucking awesome!"

"May we all be so blessed," Kieran muttered. "To un-bad sex," he proposed, raising his glass towards the others.

Un-bad sex made Malia throw her head back with laughter. She lifted her glass. "To un-bad sex."

"Oh my God." Parker laughed again, leaning his head back on the couch. Still, he raised his glass.

Alec lifted their glass. "Love it." They grinned. "To un-bad sex."

"You gotta say it, Parker," Malia said, pointing to him.

"And look me straight in the eyes," Kieran demanded. "Lest you be cursed."

Parker giggled. He turned his head to look at Kieran, trying to focus on all four of his eyes at once. "To un-bad sex."

Alec laughed and motioned for Malia's attention. "Make eye contact with me, I don't want a curse!" They tried to watch her as they tapped their glass against the others.

Kieran smiled and clinked his glass in toast with each of the others before taking a big gulp of the drink. "Spectacular."

Malia giggled again and looked Alec very seriously in the eye. "I got you," she said.

Alec winked at her then broke into laughter as they took a sip of their drink. “Now none of us are cursed.”

[fuctacles]

BakuKiriKami Week Day2

Day 2 - Hanging out / Fighting together / Bakusquad

A/N: I was supposed to have it posted earlier but I’m in a rly bad mood recently, so I don’t know if i’ll manage to do all the prompts :/ I started writing day 5 tho. Fun fact: Michael in the bathroom went on when I started writing this, thats why

Ship: Bakugou/Kaminari/Kirishima from BNHA, duh | Rating: T bc ‘fuck’ | Wordcount: 2310 because i love writing domestic scenes

Read on AO3

The Morning After

The bathroom tiles were cold under his bare feet. He wasn’t sure at which point had he lost his socks but lying in a bathtub seemed like a bigger concern anyway. His back was all sore from the hard surface and weird position he was in.

Near his feet, propped up against the bathroom wall, there was another pair of feet. He looked to the side trying to emerge from the foggy haze of his mind and maybe remember how he got there.

Next to him his buddy Sero was splayed in all the glory of his long, tangled limbs. Between them lied two empty cans of beer. He checked himself for any damage and when didn’t find any, braced himself intending to get up.

He stopped mid-movement when the doors to the bathroom opened. Something cracked unpleasantly  in his neck when he turned around in its direction.

‘Denki, idiot, I’ve been looking for you.’ Bakugou hissed, entering the bathroom. He was usually the one to drink the least but he kept his voice quiet and soft. Kaminari liked to believe it was because he was a caring friend even if he wouldn’t admit it himself. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah’ Kaminari nodded, his voice raspy and unpleasant. He tried clearing his throat. ‘Help me get out of here though?’ He asked but Bakugou was already near him intending to do so anyway. The empty cans clattered against the hard bathtub surface, making Sero stir in his sleep, when Bakugou lifted Kaminari with no effort and put him back on his feet, a supportive hand on the small of his back.

‘Can you open the doors for me?’ he asked softly in case Denki was more hangover than he looked. He wasn’t going to leave any losers in the bathtub so after making sure his boyfriend wasn’t going to kiss the bathroom floor anytime soon he grabbed Sero to haul him up.

Kaminari felt a sudden surge of affection towards his soft spoken, reluctantly caring man. He leaned in and pecked him on the cheek. ‘Sure babe.’

Bakugou grumbled something under his breath but when he was passing by Denki holding the doors for him, he leaned in for another one. Kaminari happily skipped behind him, following him to the living room.

Their couch was unfolded into a spacious bed where Kirishima was snoring with Mina drooling on his t-shirt. Kaminari snickered at the sight while Bakugou dropped Sero next to them with all the delicacy he could muster. Then he dropped a pillow on Kirishima’s face to muffle the snoring, and grabbed Kaminari’s hand to pull him into the kitchen.

He didn’t let go when he asked ‘Coffee?’ He didn’t let go when he was grabbing mugs from the cupboard or turning on the coffee machine. When he set it on and all there was to do was wait for the coffee, he pulled him in to nuzzle into his neck with a sigh. Kaminari winded his arms around him, rubbing circles onto his back. They both were in their clothes from the night before, tired and not caring about changing or cleaning up for now. It was soft and sleepy in their little kitchen, save for the sound of coffee dripping into a pot.

‘Whaddya want for breakfast?’ Katsuki murmured into his skin, tickling his neck. Kaminari hummed in thought.

‘Fries.’

‘It’s not breakfast.’ Bakugou snapped back. Kaminari pouted although he couldn’t see it.

‘Pancakes?’                                                                                      

‘Do we even have any maple syrup left?’

‘If Kiri haven’t drank it.’ They both chuckled.

Katsuki pulled back to kiss him despite his protest. He was quick to melt into the kiss which made Katsuki smile into his mouth. They kissed lazily for a while, until the coffee machine signaled the coffee was ready. Then they pulled away with a quiet smack. Kaminari licked his lips, the motion followed by Katsuki’s gaze.

‘I need coffee’ he explained somewhat apologetic, before giving him a last quick peck and untangling from his embrace.

But Bakugou wasn’t having it. With a soft growl he pulled him back by his hips and planted one last slow kiss on his lips. Kaminari chuckled into it. He liked when Katsuki was getting reluctantly affectionate. Especially in the mornings.

Bakugou started making pancakes while Kaminari poured them both coffee. Black and sugary for Katsuki and with cream for himself. He leaned on the counter watching his boyfriend work on their breakfast knowing that if he sits down he may risk dozing off again.

The smell of caffeine slipped from beneath the kitchen doors, emerging further into their apartment, into the living room and around their friends sleeping there. Coffee was a magical thing that always managed to make their redhead boyfriend get up when they couldn’t. This time was no different; when the door opened they revealed a sleepy Kirishima whose face immediately lit up at the sight of his boyfriends. He quietly closed the door behind him, eyeing hungrily the mug in Kaminari’s hand.

‘Hi’ he murmured to him, immediately latching onto his mouth and making Kaminari let out a stifled groan. He held the mug further away so he wouldn’t spill it on them, while his other hand rested on his boyfriend’s hip. Then in a blink of an eye Kirishima was gone and so was his coffee, now clutched between redhead’s greedy hands and being hungrily gulped down.

‘Hey!’ he yelped but Kirishima hid himself on the other side of the table so he couldn’t reach and smiled at him teasingly from there. His soaked in drool t-shirt was gone, leaving his admirable pecs on display. His hair was in utter disarray, sticking up here, flat over there. Kaminari wanted him back between his arms.

‘You two behave, I don’t want them awake before I have enough pancakes for everyone.’ Bakugou growled from his place at the stove. Kirishima took it as his cue to give him some attention. He put the coffee on the table, from where Kaminari snatched it away immediately, and approached his other boyfriend from behind.

‘Good mornin', Blasty’ he murmured into the nape of his neck, looping his strong arms around his stomach, smelling him and the first batch of pancakes he was working on.

‘Mornin’’ He tore a piece of one of them and reached to his shoulder, where Kirishima was quick to catch it. Bakugou leaned into his chest.

‘So good.’ Eijirou sighed, peppering his neck and visible shoulder with little kisses. To his right Kaminari made himself another coffee. Kirishima’s coffee preference was drinking theirs so it was no use to make him his own. When Bakugou reluctantly nudged him out of the way, redhead grabbed his grenade mug to sip a bit of his black coffee. Then he stretched with a sigh, both of his boyfriend’s eyes on him, and announced he needs to shower. ‘Anyone?’ he looked at them playfully. Kaminari slapped him on the hip.

‘We have guests dum-dum.’

‘I’m just joking’ he giggled jumping out of his reach and left the kitchen. Kaminari proceeded to prepare the table and Bakugou kept adding to his pancake tower.

Their banter didn’t go unnoticed as soon after he left Mina entered the kitchen with a yawn and a soft ‘Hello’, Sero tailing after her with pained expression.

‘I smell coffee’ she commented, sniffing the air and eyeing the mug in Kaminari’s hand, who brought it closer to his chest protectively and then moved aside revealing the still half full coffee pot behind him. She cheered and raided the cupboard to find herself a mug.

Meanwhile Sero slumped on a chair almost putting his head in one of the plates. ‘Do you guys have yerba?’

‘Yeah, I’ll make you some just get your damn hair out of my plate.’ Katsuki appeared above him, swatting his head away from the table. He put down a plate full of pancakes. ‘Eat up fuckers and get outta my house.’

‘Me too?’ Kaminari quirked his eyebrow while Mina sat down with her coffee and grabbed a plate to load it with pancakes.

‘It’s your house too, moron.’

‘We’re not going anywhere.’ Mina piped up after swallowing a bite of syrup covered pancakes. (Turned out Kirishima drank only half of the bottle.) ‘We gotta burn the pancake calories in the Just Dance dance off.’

‘Just don’t eat the pancakes you ungrateful fuck.’ Bakugou growled, putting a yerba mate gourd in front of Sero. He thanked him, and took a long sip.

‘Katsuki, your pancakes are too good, we both know this.’ Ashido pointed an accusatory fork at him.

‘It’s just a ploy to make you fat and slow you down.’ Bakugou shrugged.

‘Just take the fucking compliment, dude!’

‘Well, thank you for being so easy to please!’

‘Ugh!’ She threw her hands in the air, while the other two listening to them snickered. Kaminari finally sat down between his friends. That’s when Kirishima decided to join them, hair damp, sweatpants and a tank top thrown on.

‘Did I miss something?’ He asked, settling on the last vacant seat.

‘Just alien face not wanting to admit she wants to crush us in her stupid game.’

‘Babe. Like you’re one to talk.’

‘You sound like you don’t want to eat.’ Bakugou looked at him threateningly. Kirishima put up his hands in defeat then motioned to zip his lips shut.

When Sero was halfway through his yerba he mused out loud. ‘We can’t just go jumping right after breakfast.’

‘What do u suggest?’ Kaminari piped up, hopeful. He wasn’t looking forward to it neither. Especially that Bakugou was getting too intense every time they played Just Dance with Mina. Kaminari was quite good at it himself, while Bakugou always got frustrated he couldn’t beat the game through sheer willpower itself.

‘We could watch a movie?’

Everyone at the table groaned. From their movie watching experience they knew it took at least half an hour to settle on a movie everyone would want to watch.

Bakugou turned off the stove, put the last pancakes on the plate, and motioned Kirishima to make room on his lap.

‘We can just roll a fucking dice, you know.’ He suggested, starting on Kirishima’s half eaten pancake while the redhead leaned on his back, arms around his middle.

‘That’s… actually a good idea?’ Kaminari grinned from in front of them, nudging one of his boyfriend’s legs with his foot. He didn’t know which one. ‘Lemme go grab a dice.’ He announced and left the kitchen to go rummage through their board game boxes.

‘Since when are you such a good mediator, Baku?’ Sero tilted his head, his hair now pulled back in a short ponytail with a hair band borrowed from Kirishima.

‘Since I started dating two dumbasses I guess.’ Bakugou shrugged, feeding Kirishima his own pancake above his arm. It didn’t look comfortable, but it worked.

‘Got it!’ Kaminari came back victorious with a yellow dice.

They took their turns rolling, Sero groaning when he got a one while everyone else let out a sigh of relief. Last time he choose a movie they ended up watching some foreign indie horror about creepy bunny Jesus. Kirishima rolled a five and when nobody beat it he whooped in victory.

‘So, what are we watching?’ Nudged him Mina. Nobody really minded his victory, because Kirishima’s movie taste was more or less like him. Loveable by everyone. He hummed in thought.

‘Uh, would you rather watch a gay movie or an old British comedy?’

‘That’s a tough one.’ Bakugou rolled his eyes.

‘The British one.’

‘Everyone who is against Sero’s choice hand up.’

Kirishima raised Bakugou’s hand for good measure, even though the gay movie would win anyway.

‘Alex Strangelove it is!’ Kirishima cheered. ‘Last time I tried to watch it somebody kept distracting me.’ He narrowed his eyes at said someone. Kaminari shrugged with an innocent smile.

‘Sorry I’m so distracting honey.’

‘Guys don’t be gross.’ Mina made a face of disgust, badly hiding her fond smile.

‘You’re gross.’ Bakugou retorted stuffing his face with pancakes.

‘Yes, yes, now let me go I’m gonna turn on Netflix, maybe check for some chips.’ Kirishima patted his boyfriend’s hips but he didn’t budge.

‘No. You’re comfy.’

‘You can sit on my lap?’ Kaminari offered.

‘You’re bony, no thanks.’ Bakugou squinted at the idea.

‘…I can sit on your lap?’ He tried again. Bakugou was silent for a couple of seconds. Sero was biting back a laugh.

‘You can go, Ei.’

Eijirou laughed, pecking him on the cheek and letting him go. Then he grabbed one of the few pancakes left and went to the living room, from where they heard the signature Netflix sound. Meanwhile Kaminari skipped around the table to settle on Bakugou’s lap with a sigh, leaning onto his broad chest. Bakugou let him for a while, and then nudged him on the side.

‘Turn around I want to eat.’

Kaminari did as he was told, looping his arm around his boyfriend’s neck and leaning on his shoulder, so he could finish his breakfast. He motioned Ashido to hand him his mug and he sipped the remaining coffee.

Ashido and Sero gathered the dishes and started cleaning them up together, Kaminari navigating them through the drawers and cupboards when they didn’t know where to find something or where to put something back. Then Sero found some popcorn and went on to prepare a big bowl of it.

‘Are we watching on the couch or on the floor?’ Kirishima yelled from the living room. The four looked at each other.

‘Floor.’

‘Floor.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I’m taking the couch, fuck you.’

‘You’ll miss on the cuddles, you know.’ Reminded him Kaminari, pinching Katsuki’s cheek. Mina took their empty dishes to finish cleaning up. Bakugou growled, looping his arms around him.

‘Fine.’

‘Floor!’ Kaminari yelled back.

[minzy-yuy]

Holy Grounds

Pairing: Sabriel with ending hints of Destiel

Summary: Coffee Shop AU. Everyone living normal lives

A/N: I haven't written a fanfiction since 2009. I’ve been mostly roleplaying so forgive me, I’m slowly getting back into it. I feel like it was somewhat rushed but for my first fanfiction in years I’m happy with it.

Words:  1894

Warnings: No smut or anything just fluff.

Mornings were always slow, why did they open so early on a Sunday? Monday through Saturday was always their busiest so they really should have opened later. "Cassie come try this!" A voice called from the back the short dark brown-haired male sighed a bit before walking into the back as he watched the short blonde working at a stainless-steel counter whisking something in a bowl. "What is it, Gabriel?" He asked an eyebrow raised as he peeked inside the bowl. It looked like a normal whipped chocolate so Castiel wasn't really sure what he was supposed to taste. Gabriel moved to grab a spoon as he scooped a little onto the small metal spoon then handed it to Cas. "Tell me what you think Cassie. It's a chocolate substitute."

 "Is this because of that guy that comes in? He won't eat your sweets because and I quote 'they are bad for you' so you are trying to find a new mixture so he will have more than the black cup of coffee?" Cas spoke as he sighed before grabbing the spoon so Gabriel would stop waving it in his face. Hm, it wasn't as sweet as he would like but honestly, it wasn't half bad as he licked the spoon. "It is good. I am sure he will like it." He handed the spoon back which just ended up tossed in the sink, though Cas wasn't sure what he was expecting as he walked out from the back. Grabbing a cloth on the way, he might as well clean to pass the time.

 Cas had just finished placing the books and magazines away when Gabriel proudly announced that his masterpiece was done, which almost caused the blue-eyed male to roll his eyes. Standing up as he walked over to the counter seeing Gabriel pull out a card as he wrote something down before placing it in front of the cupcakes. "Heavenly coco cakes? Really Gabriel?" "This place is called Holy Grounds what did you expect?" Castiel really rolled his eyes at that before shaking his head, his older brother was too much sometimes that was for sure. "Alright if that is what you want to call them," Cas spoke as he moved back over to the shelves so he could continue to clean up and leave the counter to his brother.

 "Welcome," Cas spoke from the corner when he heard the chime of the door sound, indicating someone walked in. "Well hiya, tall stuff," Gabriel spoke which cause Cas to roll his eyes unable to stop himself. His brother was something else that was for sure. "You looking for your usual? I also made something new. Completely healthy just for you. On the house of course." Gabriel spoke as he poured the coffee into the large cup placing the top onto the cup. Grabbing a napkin as he grabbed one of the cupcakes before placing both on the counter in front of the customer a slight smirk on his lips. "So, what's a guy gotta do to get a date with a tall glass of water like yourself?"

 Loud coughs could be heard and a slight muffle of 'poor customer'. Gabriel most certainly wasn't subtle that was for sure. "Straight to the point I see. We don't even know each other's name." The tall customer spoke, his brown eyes looking at the cupcake debating whether it would be worth the possible sugar rush that would come with such a confection. Against his better judgment, he moved to take a small bite, finding that such a combination worked quite well with each other. "Come now let's get past those first name bases and straight to my bed," Gabriel spoke which earned a loud groan from Cas at how badly this was going. Of course, the customer didn't seem to mind as it had him laughing.

 "I'll think about it, Gabriel." The customer spoke thanking him for the coffee and cupcake before heading out hearing that door chime as Cas looked over at his brother who slumped against the countertop, "I'm in love." The blonde whined out as the brown-haired male made a slight gagging noise. "To each their own," Cas spoke as he walked to the counter. "You don't even know his name. You couldn't even ask him that."

 "Can you blame me? That man is built like a god. Hmm, just want to strip him right out of that suit."

 "I am now slightly disturbed. Get back to work."

 "Wo! Who's the boss again Cassie?"

 "Sometimes I wonder."

 The next few days were busy the constant flow of people from the nearby business buildings were enough to keep most people busy. It didn't help that every time tall, mysterious and handsome came in Gabriel had to spend more time than needed flirting with the dark-haired man. Plus, Cas was pretty sure Gabriel was trying to rob the cradle so to speak. Though Cas was at least somewhat happy for Gabriel, his brother had finally been able to find out the mystery man's name. He was tired of hearing the nicknames though. They were all bad. Sammy, Sam the Man, Sasquatch, Man that causes raging boner. "What do you think our couple name should be?"

 "You are not even dating him, he's turned down every advance you can come up with."

 "Psh, I am not out of the game yet," Gabriel spoke as he walked into the back he had to make another batch of cakes since they ran out. Cas moved to start cleaning the now empty tables before he suddenly jumped when he heard Gabriel yell, "Sabriel! That shall be our couple name!"

 "I'm not listening to you, Gabriel!" Cas spoke as he went back to cleaning the tables hearing Gabriel going on about Sam and how they would make adorable babies. Cas wasn't even going to tell Gabriel that the male body was incapable of such things as he was pretty sure his brother wouldn't be listening anyway.

 "Sammy!" Gabriel said happily as he smiled like he was given the greatest gift from God. "Don't call me that." The brown-haired male spoke as he heard Cas apologize for Gabriel since the blonde most likely wouldn't be apologizing anytime soon. "Hey, go on a date with me and maybe I'll call you something else," Gabriel spoke as he smiled at the taller male. He clearly was too infatuated with this tall drink of water. Ugh, Gabriel was far too thirsty for this man. "Gabriel, no," Sam spoke his brown eyes looked at the blonde before asking for his coffee. "Ugh, you only love me for my coffee," Gabriel whined as Sam couldn't help but chuckle, "Perhaps." Paying for the coffee as he thanked Gabriel before walking out.

 "Why are you denying me! My beautiful piece of caramel marshmallow!"

 "I would deny y-urk!" A cleaning cloth to the face was not the most glorious feeling that is for sure. Cas sighed as he moved to pull the cloth from his face giving his brother a look. Deciding, for now, it was best to ignore him and get back to his work.

 Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Soon Cas was on the verge of pulling out his hair. "Please, please I beg you. I cannot take any more of the flirting. The stupid names he calls you." Cas spoke as he looked at Sam with pleading blue eyes. "Please take pity on me and just go out on one date."

 "Actually, I was going to ask if Gabriel would be free tonight for dinner," Sam spoke as Cas seemed almost too happy to hear such words leaving this man’s lips. "Gabriel! Get out here! Cas yelled as he soon watched the blonde walk out from the back munching happily on a chocolate chip cookie. Though upon seeing Sam he quickly wiped his mouth. " Sammy! I didn't know you were here." He had been leaning up in the back and missed the other even showing up how terrible of him. He would need to come up with a good flirt.

 "You free tonight for dinner? They just put in a new Italian place that I heard was good." Sam spoke completely stunning Gabriel into silence. Two months’ worth of flirting and Gabriel didn't even think that this would ever happen. Gabriel wasn't even sure he could get the words out as he nodded his head. "Good. I'll see you here at 6. We can walk together." Sam spoke as he walked out.

 Cas rolled his eyes when Gabriel almost screamed in happiness. Cas made Gabriel leave so he could get himself nice for this date of his. He didn't mind closing up the store and at this point, anything to get Gabriel away was a slight plus. He did hope that Sam was at least somewhat interested in his brother. Gabriel deserved that much at least.

 "I have to admit. I honestly didn't think you would finally agree to a date." Gabriel spoke as he moved to sit down at the table. "Well, you were very persuasive," Sam spoke as Gabriel chuckled at that a smirk on his lips knowing that it was true two months’ worth of flirting and asking Sam out on a date was probably bound to actually work. "A man who is good at baking isn't half bad either," Sam spoke as Gabriel laughed unable to help himself really. This man was adorable if Gabriel thought he was in love before he was head over heels in love now. The more Sam talked the more Gabriel was losing himself, finding that this man was finishing up school to be a lawyer. He had a brother as well, not as many as Gabriel had but one that was just as protective. Gabriel talked about Cas and how he took care of him. His older brothers being giant jerks who sometimes needed to be slapped around. "I must admit, I'm having a great time. And that I wish it didn't have to end." Gabriel spoke as he frowned a bit before feeling Sam's hand against his cheek which he happily leaned into. "Well how about we do this again. Next week?" Sam asked as Gabriel made a sound in the back of his throat. "I've got you now. I'm not about to let go." Gabriel moved as he leaned up on his toes as he kissed Sam on the lips he knew he was taking a risk but when he felt the taller male kiss him back he couldn't have been happier. Pulling back as he smirked a bit. "So... I'll see you tomorrow for your coffee? On the house, you know. You are dating the owner." Gabriel spoke as he heard his phone ping. Pulling it out as he noticed it was a text from Cas.

 'Gabriel there is a man here yelling for you. Something about trying to get into his brother's pants?'

 Gabriel couldn't help but laugh as he placed it back into his pocket he would deal with that later. Gabriel moved to kiss Sam once again before pulling back. "Sleep tight Sam the man." He teased as they both said their goodnight walking away as Sam's phone pinged as well.

 'Sam... How do I know if I might be bi?'