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adascore · 10 months ago

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The Awarded Silence

pairings: alexia putellas x lyonnais!reader / lucy bronze x lyonnais!reader / mary earps x lyonnais!reader / sarina wiegman x lyonnais!reader + mapi and ingrid cameos!

warnings: very awkward. angst. swearing.

author's note: lucy meddling with her two captains... nothing good can come of that, can it? hope you all enjoy this third part! also I’m aware the gif is not the right award ceremony, but couldn’t find a better gif.

part 1 | part 2 | masterlist

•••••••

With the end of a season also came the prestigious award shows, something both Y/N and Alexia were all too familiar with. Although it was different this time around; it would be the first time they would actually go up against each other in the big categories.

It was clear to everyone who would be walking away with each one of them. Not only had Y/N walked away with both the European Championship and the Champions League title, she'd been named the MVP of both those tournaments. Some of the media were trying to hype it up as another competition between them, but even Alexia was aware she had no chance of walking away with anything as long as Y/N was nominated for it as well.

First one up had been the UEFA Women's Player of the Year, which Y/N had taken home, alongside Sarina who had won for Women's Coach of the Year.

That was followed up by the Ballon d'Or. It was a big deal as they were the clear frontrunners, and whoever won would become the first player to win the accolade for a second time. Again, Y/N made history and had accepted the gold award. Alexia hadn't gone to the ceremony, citing illness as the reason why.

The England captain had been upset by her absence, she hadn't seen nor spoken with Alexia in months and had hoped the ceremony in France would have been an opportunity to catch up. She'd smiled when the midfielder sent her a congratulatory message, along with a shout-out on her Instagram story- stating how she was deserving of the award.

It would take a few more months before they'd see each other, at ‘The Best FIFA Football Awards' in Paris. Along with being nominated for Best Women's Player, they would both be featured in the Women's World 11.

The first interaction came when they were hastily put next to each other as they received their trophies. As the cameras clicked, Y/N and Alexia exchanged smiles that masked the tension between them.

''I think it would be difficult for anyone to beat this team.'' Lucy grinned, speaking into the microphone that was attached to her cheek.

The women received another applause and made their way off the stage, handing over their trophies that would be handed back to them at the end of the ceremony.

A few winners later, Kylian took the stage to present ‘The Best FIFA Women's Player' award. They showed a pleasant montage of Alexia, Y/N and Alex- a compilation of their season's highlights.

Y/N felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. She knew the PSG player would call out her name, but you never knew if they wanted to stir up some controversy.

The England captain was sat on the first row, meanwhile some of her teammates and fellow female players were scattered in the other rows. Alex sat right behind her, while Alexia sat on the other side of the room with her Barcelona teammates.

The room hushed as Kylian unfolded the envelope. ''And the Best FIFA Women's Player is… Y/N Y/L.''

Applause erupted, and Y/N nervously got up from her seat. On the pitch, the striker was confident, but making speeches in front of a full room filled with people in power and fellow players, was not something she had gotten used to.

The Brit turned around and reached her hand out for Alex to take, a silent sign of respect for the season the American had had. She would have done the same if Alexia had been seated there, but walking to the other side of the room would have taken too much time.

Y/N carefully walked up the stairs, trying not to fall as she was wearing heels. Kylian noticed, and made his way over to offer his arm to her. She smiled, and accepted, holding onto the striker's arm.

He congratulated her, pressing three celebratory kisses on her cheek. ''Félicitations, Championne.'' (''Congratulations, Champion.'') Kylian said.

''Merci.'' (''Thank you.'') Y/N grinned, and she took her place at the microphone.

''Uh, thank you so much to all the people that voted. It's a big compliment to have your fellow players and coaches vote for you, so thank you so much.'' She started off, her voice a bit shaky as her eyes darted around the room.

''I, also, quickly want to acknowledge Alex and Alexia. It's an honour to be nominated alongside you, and I want to thank you for all the contributions you have made so far and for the great football we get to see from you. Thank you.'' Y/N glanced at both of them, giving them a nod as the crowd applauded them.

The camera panned to both women. The American striker mouthed a ''Thank you'' to the younger player, once teammates at Lyon. Alexia clapped, but maintained a composed facade.

She had also clapped when the Brit's name was announced, concealing any type of disappointment she felt. While she had anticipated the outcome, the sight of Y/N claiming the award instead of her was something hard to swallow- in the same way it had been hard to watch her rival lift the Champions League trophy the previous year.

Her applause was genuine, and deep inside she knew that Y/N deserved it more than her, but Alexia would never admit that out loud. As the striker continued her speech, the midfielder struggled with being happy for her colleague, while dealing with her own unspoken desire for recognition.

Lucy, seated beside Alexia, offered her a knowing smile. The Barcelona defender had seen it from close by, how everything was a competition for them. She'd noticed it at her new club, where the lost finals against Lyon served as reminders for the team to do better, and to not let that happen again. She'd noticed it in her England teammate, and how tense she had been before the friendly against Spain.

On the other side sat Mapi, concerned over how her friend was handling it. ''It's okay, Ale.'' She whispered in their native language.

''I know, it's just an award.'' Alexia replied, not taking her eyes off Y/N.

The Spanish defender dropped it, giving Ingrid a look before focusing on the winner as well.

''… cause I couldn't have done it without them. Uh, yeah, congratulations to all the other winners as well. Thank you.'' Y/N concluded.

The audience applauded one last time, and she got off the stage. She hid her face in embarrassment as Mary whistled loudly, feeling hot as her friend hyped her up.

After was seemed like forever, the ceremony was done.

Most attendees got up from their seats, but didn't leave the main hall as they walked over to catch up with people they knew or to get to know other people.

Y/N got up after about a minute, deciding to go talk to Christiane and Wendie, her Lyon teammates. However, the universe or someone called Lucy Bronze had better ideas.

''Hey, Captain.'' She heard the defender greeting her.

As the striker turned around, she was met with a surprise. There stood Lucy, accompanied by none other than Alexia Putellas. The Brit wore a smile, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

''Hi, Bronzey.'' Y/N responded, slightly caught off guard.

The English internationals shared a hug, Lucy whispering a congratulations in her ear. ''Thanks, you too.''

As the two parted, Y/N's eyes fell on an awkwardly standing Alexia.

''Y/N, meet Alexia. Alexia, this is Y/N.'' Lucy said, her eyes darting between the pair.

The two captains exchanged an uneasy glance. ''Uh, yeah, we know each other, Luce.'' The striker stated, feeling very uncomfortable with the situation.

Lucy chuckled, completely unfazed by the discomfort she had purposely created. ''Oh, I know. It's just that fans online were saying that they wanted me to have you guys become friends, so I'm just keeping my promise to them.''

Y/N and Alexia forcibly grinned at the admission, both aware of what people said about them on social media. The latter cleared her throat. ''Uh, congratulations again. You really deserve it.''

The Lyon player nodded, a somewhat more genuine smile appearing. ''Thanks, I appreciate. You as well, with the, uh, World 11.''

''Thank you.''

Another pause hung in the air, the atmosphere thick with awkwardness. It was as if their shared teammate had conspired to make this encounter as uncomfortable as possible.

''Oh, there's Sarina, excuse me, ladies.'' Lucy swiftly escaped, using their Dutch coach as part of her scheme.

That left the players facing each other. The tension was uncomfortable, and neither seemed eager to break the silence that had settled between them.

After a moment, Y/N was the first to give in. ''So, how is your knee doing?'' She asked, noticing the Spaniard was no longer holding onto her crutches.

Alexia's eyes briefly flickered towards Lucy, who was signing with her hands to keep going. ''Uh, good. Yeah, if everything goes to plan, I should be ready by the end of the season.'' She replied, a small smile present.

''So… World Cup ready then?''

The Catalan shifted on her feet at the mention of the tournament. ''That's delicate right now.''

''Oh, how, uh, is that situation going at the moment?'' Y/N had momentarily forgotten about the mutiny going on in the Spanish national team. She knew Alexia supported the girls that had made themselves unavailable, but they'd never had any conversations about it.

Alexia shrugged her shoulders. ''It's being worked on, it's… a lot.'' From the way she was speaking, her colleague could sense it wasn't a topic the midfielder wanted to happily chat about.

''I understand. I just want to say that a lot of people are behind you guys, and want to see change happen,'' Y/N softly spoke, ''me included.''

''Thank you.'' Alexia sounded genuinely grateful for her words.

Y/N has been a huge advocate for women's football ever since she became a professional player, so her acknowledging the Las 15's stance meant more to Alexia than she could express.

''Sorry, could I get a picture of you two?'' One of the official FIFA photographers interjected, pointing at the two of them.

The pair shared a look, seemingly asking without words if the other was okay with it. They nodded at each other, and hesitantly put their hands on one another's back, posing for the camera.

''Thank you.'' The man thanked them, walking over to another group of players.

''It was nice talking to you. I'm, uh, gonna see what my teammates are up to.'' Y/N politely excused herself. The conversation was turning out more bearable than how it started, but she still wanted nothing more than to leave.

''Same. Um, good luck with your matches, and maybe we see each other in the semifinals?'' Alexia hinted at a potential Champions League clash.

The Lyon striker chuckled. ''We'll see, Putellas. Have a nice night.''

As Y/N made her way to her teammates, Alexia watched her departure with mixed emotions. Yes, she was happy that they'd had a conversation. But, it was frustrating that there still seemed to be a wall between them, and a big one at that.

What was it that always held them back from truly opening up to one another?

''You know she's going to kill you once she's finished with that conversation, right?'' Mary said to her fellow Lioness, subtly taking a glimpse at Alexia and Y/N.

Lucy smirked, her eyes barely leaving her two captains. ''Who? Y/N or Alexia?'' She laughed.

''Both.'' Sarina and Mary chorused, laughing now as well.

''Nah, they'll have to work together for that. Never gonna happen.'' She continued joking.

The England coach shook her head. ''Why are you doing this again?''

''Because I wanna have fun, and although I am happy with my little trophy, this show is super boring. Just want to spice things up,'' Lucy explained, ''besides, fans will love it. The Queens of football talking together. La Reina and La Reine.''

Sarina and Mary exchanged skeptical glances, unsure of how either players would react. ''I'm not so sure Y/N will appreciate your idea of fun.'' Mary commented.

''Oh, what could go wrong?'' The defender genuinely did not see the problem. ''See, they're even taking a picture together.'' Lucy pointed out, seeing the pair in front of the photographer.

After the picture, Y/N gracefully excused herself and began walking towards where Lucy, Mary, and Sarina were standing. She joined the trio with a forced smile, attempting to suppress any visible signs of annoyance.

''Nice reunion there?'' Sarina tried to lighten her captain up, noticing her gloomy expression.

''We talked.'' She answered. It wasn't a proper response, more like a factual statement.

Y/N wasn't sparing Lucy a glance, the defender, however, remained unfazed. ''That's nice.''

''Congrats, by the way, darling. No one deserves this more than you.'' Mary tried to deflect, not a fan of the tension. Sarina smiled at the reminder of all the awards her team collected. ''Yeah, congratulations.''

''Thank you, you too, Mearps. You almost made me cry with your speech. Sarina, you didn't make me cry, but yours was really nice as well.'' She turned to her coach, managing to still make a teasing comment.

Sarina laughed. ''Well, thank you.''

''Uh, I'm gonna say hi to my, uh, other teammates.'' Y/N nodded her head towards where Wendie and Christiane were standing with some of the Lyon staff.

She then glanced at Lucy. ''Or you want to set that up for me as well?'' She sarcastically chuckled.

''Hey, come on. I thought you guys were friends now.'' Lucy said, a lame attempt at defending herself.

''Who said that?'' Y/N frowned.

''Jill.'' The defender retorted.

''What a source,'' the captain scoffed, ''we're not friends, and I don't need you to make us friends.''

''How bad was that conversation that you're this pissed at me?'' Lucy asked, not expecting her friend to be this irritated over her actions.

''Just don't do that ever again. It was fucking embarrassing.'' With that, she made her way over to her Lyon teammates.

Mary and Sarina slowly glanced back to Lucy, whose smirk had been practically smacked off of her face.''What could go wrong, aye, Bronzey?''

On the other side of the room, Alexia carefully walked over to Mapi and Ingrid after Y/N excused herself from the conversation.

''You look like you need alcohol.'' The Spanish defender noted, taking in her friend's expression.

Alexia sighed, smoothing her hair down. ''Neither of us enjoyed that.''

''Lucia really did you dirty there.'' Mapi responded, glancing to where her teammate was speaking with the England camp.

Ingrid offered a sympathetic smile. ''I think she had good intentions, she meant it well.'' She chimed in.

The Barcelona captain nodded. ''I know, but it was so awkward.'' Alexia grimaced, cringing at the reminder of how the two football stars had just uneasily stood in front of one another.

''You'll be fine,'' Mapi caressed her back, ''one day you'll be able to laugh about this, trust me.''

Alexia gave her an unimpressed look. ''I'd rather not.''

The defender glanced at her girlfriend. ''So oblivious.'' She whispered to Ingrid.

''What was that?''

''Nothing.''

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #alexia putellas fic #alexia putellas x reader #lucy bronze x reader

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jaegeraether · 1 year ago

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Sunsets and footballers (Part 21)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (21)

Masterlist (other parts here)

(*Mentions of mental health, suicide and domestic abuse. Take care with this chapter please x *)

Much to Lucy’s amusement, YFN was driving her car for the first time. YFN had first suggested that she drive to Birmingham to get used to the car and roads in the UK, and because Lucy had done all of the driving thus far. The first 20 minutes had been stressful, but eased with Lucy’s amused support.

“It’s just a car, little one. I don’t care what happens to it as long as you’re okay..” She’d said. That and how calm she was explaining the differences in the roads made YFN feel much, much more at ease.

When she was comfortable enough, Lucy insisted they ran through some of the information that was emailed through by Lumos, Lucy testing her knowledge.

“I only briefly skipped through that email, Luce.. it was our third date.” She groaned.

“Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been doing research since the girls first told you about this job..”

YFN looked guilty. “I like to be prepared.”

Lucy chuckled. “I know. It’s one of the things I love about you.. and you might as well use me while I’m here, right? We’ll start slow.”

YFN groaned. “Okay, I’ll try my best.”

“Okay, talk to me about the different tiers of women’s football in England.”

“Starting off slow, hey?” She pouted. Lucy was challenging her. “Okay… okay. There’s the top tier, Tier 1, the Barclay’s FA WSL. It has 12 teams, bottom team gets relegated to Tier 2 which is the FA Women’s Championship. Also 12 teams, the winners going into the WSL for the next season, while the bottom-placed team are relegated Tier 3, the FA Women’s Nation’s League. Then it gets a bit complicated because there’s the northern teams against each other and the southern teams against each other with the top northern and southern team in the final FA WNL Championship Play-Off, the winner moving up to Tier 2, FA Champions League.”

She looked over at Lucy who was grinning at her proudly. “I knew you’d been researching.”

YFN blushed under her gaze. “It’s important to you.. so it’s important to me. Regardless of the job.”

“God, you’re so cute.” She kissed her on her little cheek dimple, her face reddening further. “Try name the 12 teams in the WSL for me..”

“Okay… okay I can do it by location, might be easier. Around Manchester you have 2 teams, Man United and Man City. Around Liverpool there’s Liverpool and Everton. Around Birmingham there’s Aston Villa. Close to them there’s Leicester, in Leicester.. then there’s Bristol City by itself, and around London are the other 5 teams, Brighton and Hove Albion, Chelsea, West Ham United, Arsenal, and… Tottenham.”

“You’re so sexy when you’re talking football..” Lucy commented as she fed YFN a Malteser.

“Why do I feel like I’m being rewarded like a dog?”

“Who’s a good girl,” Lucy cooed and patted her head. YFN rolled her eyes. “Who are the current WSL Champions?”

“Chelsea, they beat Man United.”

“Do any WSL teams play for other titles?”

“Uh.. there’s the Continental Cup? Conti Cup.. it’s the Tier 1 and Tier 2 teams together, so WSL and The Championship.”

“And the current Conti Cup Champions?”

“Arsenal.. they beat Chelsea.”

“Any other titles?”

“The UEFA Women’s Champions League.. it’s basically the WSL of Europe. It’s where all the fun happens and there’s a chance for a team like Arsenal to go up against a team like Barcelona.” She turned to Lucy. “Is it your favourite?”

“My favourite is definitely playing for England… but when playing with Barca then yeah, I love playing against the UK teams.”

“Is it hard playing against friends?”

She shrugged. “It was at first.. but then I found it’s much easier if you just go at players like opposition and don’t look at who they are. Just do your thing. I always want to win so it’s easier for me, but I know some of the girls struggle with it.”

YFN nodded and stole another Malteser. “Barcelona are the current Champions, obviously because they have the best right-back in history… and it was against Wolfsburg. Aaaand I believe that was your… fourth Championship title? 3 with Lyon, 1 with Barca?”

Lucy looked impressed. “You really have been doing your research, you sneak. I’m really proud of that too. Almost missed the one with Barca though.. I had surgery on my knee about 5 weeks before the final.” She trailed off, getting a little into her own head.

YFN put her hand on her knee, stroking it to console her. She knew there wasn’t much to say about it. “I can’t wait to see you play for Barca.”

That worked. Lucy smiled. “Tell me again why you can’t live in Spain, if you already have a team for you to work with? And once you get a good schedule going, they’ll be going to the games for you.. There’s…” she took YFN’s phone to read the email. “…Samantha, Bridget and Emily, Ethan, Daniel, Ruby…” She trailed off as she kept reading. “Okay so they’ve hired 4 videographers and 4 photographers, then there’s your IT guy Noel who is an all-rounder..”

“Yes, love, but I need to make sure they’re all comfortable editing because a lot don’t have the experience. We also need a specific style to create so it helps to build our brand and keep it all homogenous almost.. and then what if someone is sick and can’t cover a game?”

“It’s only 2 hours from Barca to London.” She offered.

YFN let herself look at Lucy for a second. She needed to get her scepticism across. It worked. Lucy was intelligent, she knew that YFN would be busy in the UK for the next 6 months at the very least.

YFN patted the steering wheel. “I think we’re going to be doing a lot of driving! I should name him… any ideas.”

“Miles?”

“Ohhh.. like Miles Morales?”

She could tell from Lucy’s expression that she had no idea who that was. “Who?”

“Spiderman… never mind, I’ll add it to our movie list. Eminem? After Miles Morales? No… no I like Miles. Let’s keep it simple.”

“We have a movie list?” Lucy looked excited and longing, almost. “Miles it is. Also, Spiderman is Peter Parker.”

“How dare you.”

Lucy wiggled her eyebrows. “Well I still think when you get more comfortable and all fall into a good rhythm covering games.. you can maybe work from Spain…” She gave those big eyes of hers as she sat sideways in the seat, admiring her girlfriend.

“Well I am mainly working on my laptop. But it’s such a small company right now, so they’ll expand quickly with all of the coverage if we do it right. Plus, they have so much money. What they’re offering pay-wise and then expense-wise is ridiculous.” She stopped herself, realising she was getting excited about the job again, and eased Lucy’s worries. “I’m sorry.. I’ll let us live in a little happy bubble for now, hm? We don’t know what could happen.”

Lucy sighed and reached out, her hand finding YFN’s pocket. “Who knows, maybe I’ll end up back in the WSL.”

“Or maybe I’ll be fired on my first day.”

Lucy scoffed. “Not a chance. They’re lucky to have you.”

YFN could tell Lucy was struggling with her emotions a little. She assumed the dread for their goodbye tomorrow was creeping up on the footballer also. She saw her fall into that little Lucy space and she left her there for a few minutes before she spoke. “Tell me what you’re thinking. Right… there.” The took her hand off the steering wheel to poke her in the middle of the forehead. “I can see it sitting there.”

Lucy came back with a little smile. “I was trying to decide if I was a bad person or not by thinking that I’m partially hoping Martin can’t get that working Visa for you..”

YFN laughed. “You know he will have it approved by the end of the night. And also… no, it’s not a bad thing. It melts my heart because it makes me feel wanted and needed by you. So, thank you for the honesty. And I..” She stopped herself, eyes widening at the fact that three words almost rolled off of her tongue. Before Lucy could question it, YFN’s phone rang.

“It’s Ridley.” Lucy said, shaking the phone for her to see. Before YFN could say anything, Lucy answered on loudspeaker.

“Hey baby Blue, I miss you.” Ridley drawled, flirty as usual.

YFN looked over at Lucy, expecting her to be jealous and she wasn’t disappointed. She’d spoken to Lucy about Ridley before, but only the bare minimum, like she had with Jordan. Ridley was an enigma, and one of her favourite people on the planet. She knew it wouldn’t take long for Lucy to pick up her personality and understand.

“Hey Riddles, I miss you too. What’s happening?”

“Sitting in an airport, wishing it were a beach. Waiting for a man, as usual. I swear, you let men into your life, and you get this. Constant irritation. Must be so hard to drag your little dick around that you end up late for everything.”

Lucy chuckled beside her at that.

“I can guarantee you’re 15 minutes early. And by the sound of your irritation.. waiting for your coffee I’m assuming?”

“It tames my demons. And you are, as usual, correct on both counts.” She began speaking to who YFN assumed was the barista. “Thanks baby, I’ll definitely call you.”

YFN felt like she could hear the wink from across the phone. Lucy raised her eyebrows in question and YFN shrugged. This was normal.

“Okay I’m back. Fuuuck, that’s a good coffee.”

“Are you going to call her or were you just being polite again?”

“Did the ‘definitely’ give me away again?” She asked sheepishly. “She’s cute but very much the relationship type. You know I don’t do that.”

“Mmnhmn. Lucy’s here by the way, we’re just driving to Birmingham.”

“Ah, Lucia Roberta, we finally meet. Kind of. Hold up…” She switched to Facetime as she walked through the airport, coffee in hand. Ridley was drop-dead stunning. She was the only person who had more confidence than Lucy, and it was obvious with the way she spoke and carried herself. She liked to keep herself fit and tidy, besides the alcohol she always slammed when she was at a festival or picking up. Her jawline was godly, her hair was the perfect dark, dark brown shaggy bob, and she had a noticeable scar on her face that started on her cheek and rose to the bottom of her left eye. Typically, it made her even more attractive.

“Hey there, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Lucy said, trying to control her jealously that rose as she saw how fucking stunning she was.

“If any of it is good, then she was lying. She does that to be nice.” She chuckled and got a little closer to the camera. “But she wasn’t lying when she told me about you though. Fuck, you’re sexy.”

Lucy was caught off guard and looked at YFN. Yep, she understood now. Ridley was just… Ridley. Lucy grinned at the compliment and turned back to the camera, her cockiness coming out.

“What can I say… I’m built different.” Lucy quoted and Ridley got the reference, the two sharing a laugh and flexing biceps. YFN rolled her eyes. Of course they’d get along. She could only imagine what they’d be like in person together, egging each other on to do things.

“Little dick appears to be here and… lost.” She brought her fingers to her mouth, whistling loudly.

“Don’t scare the boys, Riddles.”

She grinned at her friend. “My therapist says I should do what makes me happy. Besides, I’ve already had two men tell me I’m intimidating today.. three for the hat-trick, right Bronze?”

Lucy chuckled. “I believe in you.”

“Anyways, I called to see when you’re coming to Spain.. I miss you.”

“I miss you more, and I’ll be there in 13 days. The day before Lucy’s Liga F match if that helps.”

Ridley liked specifics. “It does. Okay, Blue, I’ll see you then. Bronze, don’t be a stranger. Adiós!”

The call ended and there was silence for several seconds. YFN tried to hide her smile and looked at Lucy who was already looking at her.

“Well?”

“She seems fun. And…”

“…an aquired taste.”

“I like her. You weren’t lying about the flirting.”

“No, love. Luckily I’m already pretty obsessed with a woman anyways.”

“Did you two ever..?”

YFN knew it was coming. “No. Never. That was never us, our relationship is more like… shared trauma. I think she’s the best person, but we’ve both been through quite a bit.”

Lucy was silent and so she continued. “We were neighbours growing up. Her family was even more dysfunctional than mine, but instead of not having a mum, she didn’t have a dad. She grew up fast and took it upon herself to look after her mum, a bipolar, and her brother who was autistic who was always getting bullied… really badly. She took my brother and I under her wing also.” She choked, getting a little emotional, knowing what was coming. “One night after school her brother was… beaten to death. To be more specific, beaten and left for dead. He was supposed to be picked up by their mum who was ‘trying to get better’. She got drunk and forgot about him. Ridley found him and held him until the cops arrived. She begged them not to tell her mum, because she was so erratic when she wasn’t well, and especially worse when alcohol was mixed. They didn’t listen because she was only young, and they called her anyways. She’d killed herself by the time Ridley was dropped home. She’d expected it to be honest. I… Ridley and I used to sneak into each other’s rooms at night to hang out, play games, read books, talk. I snuck into her room and she wasn’t there. I found her in the bathroom with her mum.” YFN couldn’t help the tears streaming down her face as she remembered. “There was so much blood, Luce. And Riddles… it was almost like she didn’t feel the grief at all. She was so prepared for it. She was forced to grow up too young.”

She looked at Lucy who was also crying, eyes closed and shaking her head. She continued. “That scar on her face? From my dad. After what happened, her Aunt moved in and started taking care of her. They stayed in that house because they couldn’t afford to sell it with the debt they were left. She’d stay in my room as much as possible to avoid the memories in her own house. She’d usually already be in my room by the time I came up there. I told you my dad was abusive..”

“He didn’t… touch you, did he?” Her voice shook, nervous for the response.

“Not in the way you think. He hit us. He’d have good days and bad days. On one of his worst days, Ridley heard it from my room and came down. He was going at my brother with a knife and I was trying to stop him. Ridley saw red and jumped in to save us. We were only young and my dad was a lot stronger, so he’d managed to still cut her face as she fought him. She got it off of him eventually and knocked him on his ass. He left the next day and never came back. Nan looked after us from then on. She.. she probably saved our lives. He wanted to kill us. I could see it on his face.” She sniffed, wiping the tears away with the cuff of her shirt. “I remember holding her hand when she got her stitches.. so you see, she’s one of the most important people in my life, and she always will be. We grew into such different people after all of that. Both of us really haven’t dated much. Riddles has dated one person I think? And she sabotaged it. I let myself date a few but none of them have understood me or what I need.” She took a deep breath in. Might as well tell her everything, right? “One of the biggest changes we noticed as we grew up was sex. Riddles doesn’t have sex for love, she does it to hold some form of control. If she can control herself and somebody else, and especially their orgasm, then it satisfies her. She doesn’t let anyone close except me because I was there. We’ve had long conversations about this. Whereas me… I was so much of a passenger in my life, always scared of my dad that I just want to be loved. And protected. Supported. I want that unconditional fucking hopeless romantic, Heath Ledger love. And when it comes to sex… my body craves someone that I can put my absolute trust in. Someone who I can give all of my control, my thoughts, my opinions to. Someone who will literally hold me down and fuck me for both of our benefits. I don’t want a choice.” She was so far in, that her admission scared even her. “I’ve never had that before. Saying it out loud like that… scares me. I’ve never been so honest about it and I’ve definitely never let myself give up any of my trust until I met you.” She looked at Lucy who looked in awe. She reached a hand out as if to strangle her. “You, and your pretty fucking face. You, and your inability to pronounce ‘th’ in a sentence. You, and that fucking grin that lights up a room.”

Lucy pointed outside. “Pull over. Right there.”

YFN sighed as did as she was told, knowing that whatever came of her confession she’d accept. She pulled over and took her time, putting the car into park, handbrake on.

Lucy unclipped her seatbelt and leaned over the centre console, her hand finding YFN’s face as she pulled her towards her. Their lips met passionately. Then needily. Then desperately. Gasps for air and desperate breaths filling the air.

“Luce..” she whimpered against her lips in between the barrage of kisses she was receiving. Lucy took a little while to respond, distracting herself. “You’re mine. I will always keep you safe and make sure you’re loved. Do you understand?” She pulled YFN’s head to her collarbone and held her tight. Of course, the tears started up again. She can’t believe she’d told Lucy.

Lucy held her tightly, her hand stroking her hair, whispering sweet nothings, and reassuring her. Giving her everything she needed.

The emotions settled down eventually and YFN mumbled into Lucy’s shirt. “You know, I’m still really embarrassed about how forward I was when we started texting..”

Lucy vibrated under her, laughing softly. “Oh, I definitely encouraged that. It was perfect.”

YFN leaned back so she could see Lucy. She assumed her face reflected her girlfriends. Puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She cheekily tapped her cheek and Lucy took the hint, leaning in and kissing it with lingering lips. She kissed it a few more times and sat back in her seat. And then, they were off again.

They arrived at Jordan’s after dark, the little blonde bouncing up and down in the driveway as they pulled up. Jordan jumped on the closest person, Lucy, her legs wrapping around her waist. Lucy wrapped her in a tight hug.

“Alright, Jords?”

“I missed you two!”

“We missed you more, mate.” YFN said as she rounded the car. Jordan dropped off of Lucy and tried to do the same to YFN, though they were both a similar height and weight and ended up sprawled on the ground laughing.

The house was a cute little stand alone and inside was modern and fresh. It was a wide open space with its kitchen, dining and living area all sharing the same room which led out to the patio. It was a 2 by 2, with a bedroom either side of the large entertainment area. YFN found her bedroom, it was much larger than she imagined and had an ensuite. She turned and glared at Jordan. “You didn’t.”

“You have Lucy.. and my bathroom is perfect.” Just as she saw YFN about to argue she continued. “I originally picked that room, I promise! It doesn’t get the morning light, and I like being on that side.”

YFN pouted, wanting to argue but knowing it would be useless.

“Yay, shower sex.” Lucy said as she opened YFN’s suitcase on the bed. It was the most unhinged thing she’d ever heard Lucy say and her mouth dropped open. This was obviously the same for Jordan who was caught off guard. “Joking.. but not really. Go and have your little chat, I’ll unpack.” She insisted as she pushed them both out the door.

“I can’t believe she never said that to me…” Jordan whined. She was getting teary eyed as she looked at YFN. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“I think she was scared... and torn… and trying to justify the unjustifiable. She knows she messed up.” She hugged Jordan a little tighter.

“She’s coming tonight.”

“What?!”

“I think tonight has gotten just a little bit out of hand..”

“How out of hand are we talking about?”

“Um.. I don’t know the exact number but I know the restaurant had to order more chairs.”

YFN’s eyed widened. “Wait… what?” Lucy walked out of the bedroom then and she directed her next question at her. “What am I walking into?”

Lucy tilted her head with an innocent look and shrugged. “The girls love a catch up, and as far as I know, no one has organised anything like this before so I think word spread around pretty quickly. I think between me, Jords, Katie and Caitlin, we managed to get quite a few different nationalities interested… we have no idea how many are coming though. Katie was organising that.”

“Oh, they’ll be here soon actually. We should get ready.” Jordan said, wiping her eyes.

“What are you going to do about Leah tonight..?” YFN asked gently.

Jordan shrugged. “As far as I’m concerned, this doesn’t change anything. She still hasn’t spoken to me. I need some time to process and maybe I’ll let her say what she needs to. I don’t want to talk to her tonight, though.”

"You know the safe word.."

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