#u peanut obsessed person

[odxrilove]

peanuts

i should have expected a peanut ask from user miyx-amour .....

[jjkeremika]

AoT Fic / Oneshot Master List

~~welcome to jjkeremika~~

hi! i’m mako. welcome to my obsession. i write fics/headcanons/oneshots/imagines/drabbles/whatevertheyarecalled/ihonestlydontknow; mostly smutty/nsfw heheh.

currently i write about: eren x mikasa; AoT x reader; eren x reader; reiner x reader; levi x reader; armin x reader; but im open to others (mostly fem!reader, some gender neutral)

please click the underlined for the link to the work (tumblr; ao3); master list updated periodically; all fics created on this master list are written by jjkeremika (me); all of my works are connected under the tag jjkeremika; interactions with and/or thoughts on works are appreciated <3

assume smut/nsfw/mdni themes unless noted otherwise with *

hope you enjoy!

p.s… (per requests….worth asking, also worth noting i prefer and try to stick to character personalities and reasonable headcanons; if i can’t picture them saying/doing it i might not explore it…. fluffy/smutty accepted… not a “dead dove dne” friendly space…)

Eremika:

fucking in a sauna (It is hot (with you; love you))

mikasa gets sick (Stay pt1, pt2)*

Moments (Express Divine Devotion)*

mikasa sneaks out (Moonlight)

eren has a vision (Just like i dreamt it)

eren eats mikasa out (Tasty)

eren and mikasa secretly meet (secret)

eren calls jean while fucking mikasa (Big Time)

eren overhears mikasa (loud in my life and in my dreams)

mikasa tutors eren (my tutor pt1; pt2)

eren’s mikasa’s professor (drop my class so i can pick you up pt1; pt2)

another eren professor pt1 (thanks for coming professor pt1)*; pt2 (to be posted soon)

eren’s scout commander, mikasa’s a new recruit pt1 (think i need someone older)*; pt2 (posted soon)

mikasa shows eren how she had sex with jean (just show me)

eren’s a spy/assassin and mikasa’s his target’s daughter (to my poison: my god you’re intoxicating)*

like an actual eremika fanfic (when lightning strikes the heart (pts 00-02)) (* thus far)

roadtrip (pt1; pt2)

mikasa’s mother is sick (lavender)*

eren’s a baker

Formula One au (Ferrari driver! Eren; Ferrari Mechanic! Mikasa)

AoT x reader:

Rough intimacy (Eren, Mikasa, Hange, Levi, Reiner, Jean)

Soft intimacy (Connie, Erwin, Bertoldt, Armin, Zeke)

Favorite places (Eren, Armin, Jean, Reiner, Erwin, Levi, Bertoldt, Connie, Zeke)

Date nights (Here to Forever; Eren, Armin, Jean, Reiner, Erwin, Zeke, Porco, Historia)

Hit on you in class (Eren, Jean, Reiner, Armin, Porco, Levi, Connie, Erwin) *

Another rough intimacy (Reiner, Jean, Eren, Erwin, Levi)

Favorite positions (Eren, Reiner, Levi, Porco, Erwin)

crushes on you (Reiner, Eren, Levi, Porco, Jean)*

walk in on you touching yourself (Eren, Jean, Armin, Levi, Erwin, Colt)

fluffy moments (Eren, Reiner, Levi, Erwin)*

confess love for you (Eren, Reiner, Porco, Zeke, Armin, Bertoldt, Levi, Erwin)(mostly * except eren)

vices (eren, levi, reiner, armin, zeke, jean)

pervy pussy eaters (eren, levi, reiner, armin)

asking you on a valentines date*

what they don’t know (eren, erwin, levi, connie)

excited and exhausted (erwin, sasha, armin, hange, levi)

Eren x reader:

Games

dangerous missions*

ha(u)nted soldier*

Betting Games (pt2)

Reiner x reader:

Shower together

Levi x reader:

peanut butter kisses

goofy (pt1; pt2; pt3; pt4)

Armin x reader:

campgrounds and fairs (tbp)

love gambler (tbp)

[literallyneurodivergentandaminor]

i know nothing about the new fairy god patents thing. tell me about it (who the fuck is dale)

TEEHEE ID LOVE TO

so. yknow how every few [timeframe] nickelodeon is like "hey what if we bring back fairly oddparents" and usually it fucking SUCKS? yeah well. this time it doesnt suck. this time its ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD.

so yeah theres a new fairly oddparents reboot and its called Fairly Oddparents: A New Wish

its 3d animated but in that style thats like emulating 2d if u know what i mean (like the peanuts movie! i think someone from that also working on this show iirc)

its awesome u shoukd watch it it only has one season so far and is a very nice watch ^^ its mostly consistent with the original show with lots of references and a few returning characters that are handled REALLY well and i love it so much

and one of those returning characters is Dale Dimmadome aka the son of Doug Dimmadome owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome.

lemonade boy from the funny video

thats him. dale dimmadome

this is dale now

hes also the negligent father of the mean kid from the main characters school (dev dimmadome. youve seen me post about him too im sure)

me personally im obsessed with this extremely dysfunctional ass family.

[bathomet-writes]

bursting at the seams

summary: When Raph reveals that he's been wanting a super exclusive, super expensive plush, it's up to you to go on a journey to a not so distant land of horrors to retrieve it for him...New Jersey. Contending with secret crushes and unspoken feelings should be a cakewalk.

relationship: Raph x GN!reader

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, love confessions, allergic reaction and epipen/needle use (raph eats a peanut..he’s fine tho), sfw

word count: 4,785

author's note: it took a hot sec but here’s the gift fic for @/casualjagodek!! thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to write this adorable fic, i hope u all enjoy!

“That’s it?” You squint your eyes.

Raph looks at his phone screen then back to you. “Is the brightness too low or somethin?”

You breathe out a chuckle. “It’s just that I didn’t know you were getting all worked up over…that.”

It was some kind of stuffed animal of indeterminable origin. It had the head of a cow and the ears of a rabbit. Unconventional, but cute.

You knew Raph had a large collection of stuffed animals. Some from childhood, some he bought only months ago. Recently, he had been subtly dropping clues about how excited he was about something. He’d frantically check emails and ask you what the date was occasionally. Asking him about it outright just made him retreat back into secrecy.

Just last week, you caught him on your way out of the lair. The two of you passed each other in a particularly narrow subway tunnel. You stared expectantly at him while his eyes were glued squarely on his phone screen. You’d never seen Raph this…distracted? Whether he liked it or not, you paid attention to stuff like this. He was your best friend, acting cagey and suspicious for no reason.

You try clearing your throat and kicking at a random piece of trash on the ground to rouse his attention. “Texting someone hot?” You joke.

���Yeah.” Raph responds nonchalantly before blinking his eyes down to you. “Wai— No! No, I wasn’t—“

With a quick wave, you turn to head out again. “See ya.”

You figured even Raph kept a secret or two of his own, so you didn’t pry after that. Living with four brothers and Splinter, you’re sure he never got to have much of a private life.

When he finally (inevitably) let you in on the secret thing he’s been obsessing over, you tried to go in with an open mind. It could have been anything, so the potential of Raph confessing that he had been texting someone hot was miniscule. Maybe they were only sort-of attractive, or better yet, less attractive than you.

You didn’t know why, but the possibility of this hot mystery person existing just didn’t sit right with you.

“Let me see—“

Grabbing his phone from him, you scroll through the webpage. The image of a strange stuffed animal made you mildly more interested. The quality was actually really good, as far as stuffed animals go.

“What is it?”

“It’s, y’know…” Raph hums to himself, trying his best to cover up his embarrassment. “I just thought it was cute.”

“Huginn and Muninn.”

Your eyes widen as you scroll to the top of the page. The logo proudly displayed little gargoyle mascots that you knew you recognized from somewhere. Excitement replaces the jealousy that was festering in your mind just a few seconds earlier.

“Yeah! They started their own company a couple of years ago. I didn’t think they were still around either.” He shrugs.

“That’s crazy!” You hand the phone back to Raph and ramble on enthusiastically. “Well, now I see why you were so nervous. It’s expensive as hell.”

Without thinking, you grab at Raph’s wrist and use your other hand to zoom in on the plush. Once Raph got to the third digit, his heart dropped into his stomach. You were right. Even for his budget, it was steep. Raph didn’t like to splurge too often on himself, but this was a rare exception.

“You’re right, it is crazy,” he chuckles. Your grip on his wrist was also starting to dampen his spirit.

Not because he didn’t like you holding his wrist, or his phone, or his hand for that matter. He actually liked it a lot.

Which was the real problem.

Raph has been massively infatuated with you for months. He lost track of just how long it had been. Whenever he was around you, he felt off. Usually it just involved a lot of fumbling over words, being generally clumsier. He knew he wasn’t as confident as Leo, or smooth like Donnie, or even as honest as Mikey. He was just him.

While Raph anguished internally, you were practically none the wiser. You don’t seem to notice how sweaty and flustered he was all of the sudden, but you go back to innocently staring at him.

You raise your eyebrows. “So?”

That familiar, playful lilt in your voice makes all time stop for Raph. It really wasn’t fair— the amount of power your smile and your presence had over him.

Raph tosses his phone away into the far reaches of the lair before crossing his arms defiantly. “No, don’t try to convince me. It’s literally the most expensive one.”

As you calmly move your head to miss the flying phone, you smile to yourself. “Come on. This is what you’ve been obsessed with for months now. When was the last time you did something just for you?”

“Even if I did have the money, why would I spend it on something so impractical. I mean, I’m not embarrassed about liking stuffed animals or anything.”

While Raph continues ranting and pacing around, you’ve secretly pulled out your phone and looked up the plush. Without hesitation, you add it to your cart and type in your credit card.

“Sure,” you lazily nod. “You’re very secure in your masculinity.”

“Exactly!” Raph spins around to face you again. “I knew I made the right decision.”

“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing. Boom!” You take a confident step forward and reveal the check-out screen to him. At first he seems similarly excited, if a little confused.

“What?” His tone is light at first, before he realizes what you just did. “You didn’t.” A small frown tugs at his mouth.

“I did. Consider it an early birthday present.”

Raph winces, wringing his hands together. “Awesome! No, that’s great. Thank you.”

You purse your lips. “What happened? You were just all—“

What was the big deal? Did you accidentally offend him somehow?

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that the plush is…kinda not in New York.”

“Right. There’s this thing called mail, where people can send you stuff from all over the world.” You smirk, giving him a friendly pat on the cheek. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Didn’t you read it?” He shakes his head ruefully. “It’s pickup only.”

You glance to the side. “Oh. Well, then I’ll just grab Leo’s anime swords— I mean, Leo?”

Shit. You didn’t mean to let that slip out.

“You’ve been using Leo’s odachi to portal places again, haven’t you?”

Feeling cornered, you give a quick nod.

Silence.

You knew Raph must be giving you the most disapproving look right now. You turn around and find yourself to be correct.

“It was just to pick up food! And I am not buying a car.” You huff, trying to hide your shame.

Your shoulders tense up and relax as you give up. “Fine, I’ll just do it the old fashioned way.”

Your compromise doesn’t seem to ease Raph much. In fact, he seemed sad. You stop to watch him fall face-first into the couch. A couple pizza boxes stacked beside it topple over and fall as he lays there.

“Raph!” You frown. “It’s my treat. Is that what you’re worried about? Money?”

With his head buried deep in a pillow, he groans pathetically. “No.”

If only you knew.

Carefully, you kneel down to be eye-level with him. “If you’re worried about travel, it’s fine. I’ll just go to…” You check the email for the shop’s address. “New Jersey.”

Raph shoots up from the pillow with a seriousness that surprises you. “Absolutely not.” Grabbing your shoulders, he gives them a protective squeeze. “I wouldn’t let you do that.”

Because I like you too much.

“Then what?” You mimic Raph by placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking gently. “It’s not that big of a deal, okay?”

“Yes it is! Just—“ He moves away from your hand and sits up.

Don’t make me say it.

Okay, now you were officially worried. You quietly watch, only a little hurt that Raph pulled away from your touch.

Raph sighs, similarly ashamed at how he retreated from you. Slowly, he scooches over and silently invites you to sit beside him. You look at him, then back at your phone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me,” he frowns. “It’s just hard to talk about this kinda stuff sometimes.”

Politely, you ease your way onto the cushion next to him. “It’s okay, I get it.”

“You do?”

You finally force yourself to meet Raph’s gaze. As you turn your head to look up, you nearly fall over at the sight of him mere inches from your face.

“Ah, yeah,” you manage to get out. Covering up your bashfulness with a half-hearted smile doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable though. You really didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, but you want to understand.

You felt lightheaded and nauseous, like the moment right before a roller coaster plummets you into the earth at 80 miles per hour. You didn’t like roller coasters very much.

You also didn’t like it when you were so moved by Raph’s handsomeness and kindness that it rendered you speechless.

Raph searches your face as you sit dumbstruck. “I just don’t want you to go through all this trouble to get me some silly stuffed animal or anything.”

He smiles at you, but you can tell he’s still holding something back. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t know what you could say that wouldn’t ultimately embarrass the crap out of the both of you. All you can do is smile back.

“If that’s what you want.” You reel back and push yourself off of the couch. “Honest?”

Raph pauses, feeling torn. He wasn’t being honest, but now didn’t feel like the right time to crack open that emotional can of worms.

Nodding resolutely, he smiles again. “Honest.”

“So, I’ll just get a refund and we’ll pretend this whole thing never happened?” You feel a bead of sweat fall from your brow, and you pray Raph doesn’t notice.

“Perfect.” Similarly, he gets up and turns to hide the remnants of blush coloring his face. “I gotta go…punch a wall or somethin’.”

And like that, he disappears into the shadows of the lair, leaving you bereft with his departure.

“Well,” you announce to the empty room. “Good thing I’m a liar.”

How bad could Jersey be anyway?

—

It was worse.

“Next stop for Hackensack. All passengers for Hackensack.” A canny voice chimes in through the speakers. They seemed just as thrilled to be here as you did.

Like the genius you were, you decided to go over Raph’s head and book a train ride to the store. You’d used the subway plenty of times before, so slow-ass public transportation was no stranger to you.

But this…this was something else.

What was supposed to be a simple round trip turned into hours of sitting still on the tracks, waiting for other freight trains to pass by. The sweltering heat of the summer also made any sort of travel as slow as molasses. ‘Go to Jersey,’ you said, you’ll get together with Huginn and Muninn, have a few laughs.

A few passengers file down the aisle to exit the train. It takes your brain a few extra moments to register that this was also your stop. As you lean up from your spot against the window, a careless businessman bumps against your knee trying to get out with all his fuck-you suitcases and laptop bags.

You’ll have to apologize to Raph for unfortunately being right.

Oh yeah, Raph. You almost forgot why you came here in the first place. He’d been texting you about this and that today, and you usually responded to his texts immediately.

A frantic buzzing in your pocket makes your heart nearly stop. A phone call? You fumble around trying to grab it and your things as you try and get past a large family blocking the aisle.

You unlock your phone and bring it to your sweaty face. “Yello?”

“What kind of pizza do you want for later? Mikey said you just like plain cheese, but that didn’t sound right, so…” Raph’s voice is light and casual. You do your best to mimic it.

“Oh, yeah. He’s right, I’m kinda boring— AH!” A loud kid from earlier runs by you, barreling right over your left foot. It takes all your willpower not to scream directly into your speaker, but it’s no use.

“Ey, are you alright? What was that?”

After a second of quietly fighting back the manly tears, you recover. “Just…dropped my laptop on my foot. Ouch, ow.” Not your best performance, but it seems to do the trick.

“Ah.”

“Listen, I’m gonna call you back. Now’s not a good time.”

Before you realize it, the train lurches forward in earnest. A cold chill runs up your spine as you nearly trip backwards when the floor shifts again. “Fuck!”

You missed your stop, of course you did! A stern attendant ushers you back to an open seat, and you flip down defeated.

Raph’s voice cries out from your phone again. “Are you okay? Hello?”

“Would you like a complimentary snack?” The attendant’s annoying voice only frustrates you further. “We have pretzels, peanuts–”

“Thank you,” you spit, grabbing at the baggie in her hand. With one last terse smile, she finally leaves you be. You don't even care about the couple of peanuts that explode from the bag as you tear into it.

“Sorry. But actually, I’m gonna be a little late today. Y’know, busy with…” You glance around to try and find a worthy excuse. “Stuff.”

All of the sudden, Raph seemed strangely undeterred by your obvious lie. “Oh, sure. Stuff!”

“Yeah, but I should be back–”

As you turn your head back to the empty seat to the left of you, your heart nearly stops. It seems that in the time it took for you to come up with your phony excuse, Raph had just used Leo’s sword to portal himself directly beside you. On a train. The blue glow of the mystic portal illuminates your shocked expression.

“Ha! I knew it!” Raph points an accusatory finger as he ducks through to sit across from you.

“Uh– I…” Your voice stops in your throat. You wish you could say this wasn’t what it looks like. He doesn’t seem to be angry, more so just vindicated. You imagine he probably knew all along.

“Wait. You just used–”

Raph, for a brief moment, becomes sheepish. “W-Well, Leo was out doing–” He waves at the air. “Not the point. You’re out getting that plush, aren’t you? You lied.”

Raph clutches at his chest with both hands in a purposeful show of melodrama. He knew from the second you two parted ways that day. Sometimes it got a little frustrating dealing with how stubborn you could be. But then again, he was just as bad. Maybe even worse.

In all honesty, he wasn’t even mad. Mad that you lied to him, sure. But ultimately, it just made him flattered. It almost made him want to confess right then and there, but he holds his tongue.

After mulling around your answer, all you can do is shrug. “I’m…sorry?”

“Wow,” Raph smirks, leaning back against the uncomfortably tiny seat.

“What?” You blush. “You want me to apologize for getting you a gift? A gift that’s all the way over there now?” You point vaguely into the space behind Raph before burying your face in your hands. You don’t really know if it’s more from the embarrassment of getting caught or the fact that there was no denying it anymore.

You liked Raph. You liked him enough to travel to the most wretched hive of scum and villainy there was, apparently. You didn’t really mind Jersey, but at this point it was sort of a weird in-joke. You’re sure if you and Raph just took a trip out here yourselves, without all the deceit and unspoken awkwardness, you’d have fun.

Just tell him. It’s so obvious, isn't it?

“What, you mean…?” Raph turns to follow your hand, and puts all the pieces together. “Oh, Y/N. You didn’t have to–”

You interrupt. “Didn’t have to what? Buy a stupidly overpriced train ticket to get a stupidly overpriced stuffed animal? From some stupid little gargoyles? For some stupid, dumb…” You stand up suddenly, trying to get out all the pent up energy you evidently had bubbling just beneath the surface. You pace around the empty area at the back of the train for a second, ranting and babbling to yourself.

“For some stupid, dumb turtle dude. For a turtle dude!” The slight absurdity of the whole situation seems to dawn on you, and you can’t help but smile a little. The small smile widens into a grin and you start to chortle. You turn back to Raph and finally collapse back into your seat, absolutely spent from just that momentary show of emotion. Life would be so much easier if feelings didn’t get in the way, or turtle dudes. But, here you were, a pathetic, bumbling human trying their best not to make their amazing, strong, talented, funny, sweet best friend know what’s so blatantly clear.

You love him, idiot!

While you fall back down into your seat, Raph takes the opportunity to really analyze the situation from all angles. Leo was always better at this kind of stuff than him, but he needed to think carefully about this. He was usually prone to jumping headfirst into everything, for better and worse. Right now, his gut feeling was telling him the same thing as yours.

Just tell them. They went through all this trouble for you, so what’s the problem? What a loser…

Absent-mindedly, Raph picks up the bag of snacks you had and starts popping a couple into his mouth. Eating usually helped his brain slow down enough for him to focus up again.

You look up and stare out into the rapidly-changing environment outside of the train. You always liked sitting near a window whenever you traveled. To stay still while the world moved at a break-neck pace, it felt euphoric to watch the trees and buildings zoom by. It made you calm for a moment. After a charged couple of seconds, you catch your breath again. You didn’t realize you hadn’t been breathing.

“I really am sorry. I just wanted to do something nice–” You force yourself to turn your body back to Raph, and you look up in slow motion. You stare on in horror for what feels like hours as you watch him swallow a singular peanut.

Raph looks down at you curiously. It seemed like you were about to say something important. He leans down instinctually to get more eye-level with you. “What? What is it?”

He bites at the inside of his cheek, waiting for you to say what was just sitting at the tip of your tongue.

In a panic, all you can think to do is slap the bag of poison from his right hand and scream. “AAAH–!”

“Wha–?” Raph’s hand opens up. Lying on the ground, he reads the letters slowly, speaking them aloud. “Honey roasted…peanuts.”

“YOU’RE GONNA DIE! RAPH!”

“Spit it out! Throw up!” You don’t really know what you’re saying at this point. All you see is Raph and the panic in his eyes. “Stop the train!”

“S-STOP–! Choking–!” His voice comes out broken and frantic. “The pen!”

His hands move immediately to his belt, fumbling around for the epipen he’s never had to use until now. How could he be this spectacularly dumb? Not only were you probably about to pour your heart and soul out to him, he was about to do the same. In the background, a small crowd of confused employees and passengers turn to look at the weird scene unfolding at the back of the car. The same passive-aggressive attendant creeps up slowly next to you to try and de-escalate.

“Excuse me, is there a problem folks?” Her sickly, saccharine smile makes your blood boil.

Without thinking, you turn and snap back. “Yes, there’s a problem– My boyfriend’s freaking dying and you’re standing there handing out peanuts? Are you insane?!”

Raph’s eyes somehow go wider than they already were.

Glancing back down, you realize that he’s been trying and failing to communicate to you that you need to stick him with the pen. You snatch Raph’s belt clean off of his waist and riffle through all the annoying little pockets until you find it.

“Here! Here it is Raph!” You nearly cry from relief. Smiling, you grab ahold of his right hand and close his fist around the pen. “You’re not gonna die!”

Thankfully in doing so you release Raph’s neck, allowing him to speak again. “G-Great! Thank you…”

In the background, you can already hear the employees start to circle around you and Raph. You might not ever get to ride a train again after this, but you didn’t care. Fuck trains.

Raph’s hand stills, suddenly overcome with fear.

“Raph?” You frown at him.

“I’m scared.” He peeks over at you, his face twisted with shame.

“UGH! Fine!” You take the initiative and grab the pen, removing the cap with your teeth like a badass. With all your strength, which you figure you’ll probably need to fully pierce Raph’s thick, leathery skin, you reel back and stab it into his upper leg.

You close your eyes, content with having finally ended the nightmare. “Phew…”

Meanwhile, Raph waits rather impatiently. “Sometime today would be nice!”

Oh, you didn’t actually do it. “Right.”

You repeat the same motion with your hand, pulling back before jamming it in. Surely you didn’t chicken out a second time.

“Y/N!” Raph shouts, exasperated and confused.

“Goddamnit!” You grit your teeth and pull back again, looking at him tearfully. “I can’t do it! I’m a liar and a coward.”

Looking at your utterly terrified face, Raph can’t help but comfort you. Even as he feels his throat begin to tighten up, he takes his free hand to lay it over your trembling one. “No you’re not, you’re–”

“No, I am a liar. I lied to you, I’ve lied to Leo and Donnie and Mikey, I’ve lied to April and Splinter.” You try to wipe away the tears before looking back at Raph’s leg. “I lied because I was scared.”

While nobody’s come to you per se and asked you to your face, you know they knew. They all knew. Maybe you could have gotten over yourself for once and just come clean to everyone, but you knew you couldn’t. The idea of potentially ruining a friendship that’s been built for years with one awkward confession or less than charming moment, it made you absolutely terrified. You thought you would rather die than confess.

But, if all this secrecy and denial was going to literally kill him, that terrified you even more.

“Raph…” You swallow your pride and steel yourself.

To both of your surprise, the train comes to one final stop. The breaks screech to a halt, making the car lurch forward and back with incredible force. You lock eyes with Raph just as the train launches you forward, forcing your hand to push on the epipen’s plunger and jam it into his leg.

“Woah–!” Raph then catches you as you land squarely on his broad chest.

The pain of the needle didn’t even phase Raph. Though the effect of the pen took an immediate effect, his throat still felt tight. His heart was thundering in his chest, his hands felt cold and clammy. Was this still an allergic reaction?

“Sorry for the delay folks. We just have a minor…mutant medical matter to…mediate.” The canny voice of the speakers makes everyone else on the train groan in annoyance.

The two of you continue to stare at one another. Weirdly enough, neither of you feel the anxiety or weight of the unspoken words you both felt before. The feelings you both shared that forced you to stay silent, to laugh off the odd comments or blushes that threatened to expose you to each other. There was no fear anymore.

There was just you and him.

–

Raph gives one last ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ to the conductor and the ambulance people who were brought in just in case. The train dumped the two of you off at a random stop before moving on, leaving you both in the empty indoor waiting area of the train station.

You stare blankly ahead as you feel Raph sit next to you again. The bench you’re both on feels cold on your hand as you drum your fingers against it.

You guess you’re the one who needs to talk first. “So…”

“I like you,” Raph finishes.

You blink, raising your head up slowly. “I...like you.”

For a moment of silence, you each look off into the distance and melt into laughter. It’s an enormous relief to finally realize that the two of you have been harboring the exact same feelings and being afraid for the exact same reason.

But at the same time, it all seems so silly now.

“Why did we wait this long?” You chuckle, feeling the tears coming back.

Raph bumps your shoulder affectionately as he tries to fight back his own. “Why was I such a coward?”

You gather yourself and look up at him. “I can just see the obituary. Raphael Hamato, death by 1 (one) peanut.” You hold up your index finger.

Raph guffaws and breaks out into a full-belly laugh, and you can’t help but egg him on.

“I should’ve known. Only in Jersey.”

The two of you exchange a heartfelt smile as you unintentionally lean in. Raph’s concentration gets interrupted however when a couple of unexpected figures fly by outside. It looked like a weird, fat bird or something.

“What the…” Raph stands up to investigate.

As he pushes open the doors to look around, he almost trips over a mysterious bag sitting on the ground. He leans down and picks up a sticky note attached to the handle.

Here you go Red! Hope this makes up for all the times we helped Draxum try to kill you and your family. Also, how’s he doing? He won’t answer our texts, calls, or letters. Love, Huginn and Muninn <3

Raph smiles and shakes his head. “No way.”

Sure enough, inside the bag was the weird cow-rabbit plush that kicked off this whole crusade in the first place. He supposed he should be happy to finally have it.

Sneaking up behind him, you peek around Raph’s shell. “Wow, what service.”

“To be honest, I don’t really know if I want it anymore.” Raph smiles down at you warmly, putting the plush back in the bag and handing it to you.

“Oh no, don’t do that.” You grin and push the bag back to him.

“Come on, you deserve it.” He hands it back.

“You almost died from a peanut.” You push it again.

Raph’s sunny disposition doesn’t falter. “I want you to have it.”

Your eyes darken and you give the bag one final push into his stomach. “Just take the damn plush.”

Raph’s pouts bashfully before he relents. “You really are stubborn, you know?”

Smirking, you grab your bag and sling it over your shoulder. “And you’re so perfect? I sure know how to pick ‘em.”

Before reaching for his phone to text Leo, Raph watches on curiously as you change your mind and grab for the plush. “Hm?”

In an impulsive move, you hold the plush up to your face to give it a good once over. It was even cuter in person. You close your eyes and give its snout a tiny smooch before handing it back to Raph. You don’t try and hide the deep red your cheeks have turned.

Picking up on your invitation, Raph gingerly takes the plush into his hands and plants a kiss of his own on the same exact spot.

Though his heart felt full to the point of bursting at the seams, he didn’t mind the feeling. He felt bigger, more complete.

I love you too.

taglist: @saspas-corner

[starheirxero]

IF I DON'T TALK ABOUT JULY 16TH, I'M GOING TO COMBUST-

SUN LOVED THESE CHILDREN SO MUCH- HE LOVED THEM NOT UNLIKE ONE LOVES THEIR OWN- HE PARTIALLY RAISED THEM, GODDAMNIT-

HE LOVED THEM, AND HE LOST THEM, AND HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING-

FOR THE LONGEST TIME, HE THOUGHT THEIR BLOOD COATED HIS HANDS- FOR THE LONGEST TIME, HE THOUGHT HE KILLED THE ONES HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT-

HE DIDN'T, AND HE KNOWS THAT NOW, BUT IT WON'T BRING THEM BACK- IT WON'T CHANGE THE FACT, THAT THEY THOUGHT IT WAS HIM-

IT WON'T CHANGE THE FACT, THAT HE COULDN'T PROTECT THEM, LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO-

I AM GOING TO START EATING THE FLOOR--

HE REMEMBERS THEM, EACH AND EVERY ONE-

JACKIE, JAMIE, JAMES, KIT, HUEY, HOWIE, EVELYN-

HE REMEMBERS THEIR INTERESTS AND QUIRKS- HE REMEMBERS THE LITTLE DETAILS, EVEN, AS IT'S ALL FADING-

HE KEEPS SAYING THESE NAMES LIKE A MANTRA, TO REMIND HIMSELF, NEVER TO FORGET THEM, EVEN AS MEMORIES ARE SLIPPING BY-

HE SOUNDS SO MOURNFUL-

FUCK, IM GOING TO BE SICK/POS-

The thing that really gets me is that they really sound like children- I don't know exactly how to describe it, but they sound like kids I would've known when I was little- Hell, some of them do sound like kids I knew, some of which I was even friends with!

THIS PUTS SO MUCH WEIGHT ON BLOODMOON'S ACTIONS, JESUS CHRIST-

THEY WERE CHILDREN- CHILDREN WITH FAMILIES THAT LOVED THEM, THAT MOURNED THEM-

EVELYN'S FATHER WAS MENTIONED- HE WAS A FARMER, AND SHE LOVED WEARING OVERALLS BECAUSE OF IT-

SHE WAS NEVER ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH THEM INSTEAD-

MY HEART-

The one thing about Fnaf lore, that always kind of bothered me, was that the missing kids felt more like plot devices- There isn't much about them, outside of Susie, though only if you read the books- Which is fine, if they aren't meant to be the focus!

However, by making them characters, I feel like it puts so much more weight onto William's actions. It turns him into a larger threat, a monster.

Which is exactly what is happening here!

By giving them names, personalities, it feels like there is so much more weight on Bloodmoon's actions, y'know?

He robbed them of growing up. He forced their parents to bury them.

God, their parents must despise Sun! If Dazzle ever remembers, I could honestly see her dad becoming a character!

The moment, he'd see the twins, it'll be on sight!

Though, it generally makes me curious! I wonder, if Dazzle is really the only ghost kid left behind.

I wonder, if there are going to be more. There were little hints of the possibility dropped!

Some of them might not be as forgiving, which would be really interesting to see!

-Stardust

YELLS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!! LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID HERE AAUAGGHHHH

Sun has quietly carried so much love and care and guilt over these kids for years of his life, a grief that bubbled under the surface, and we never truly saw how much that weighed on him until now as he has to stomach that one of them has come back and they forgive him :(((

AND YEA THEY'RE LIKE. THEY'RE SO BELIEVABLY KIDS THAT IT MAKES MY CHEST HURT. The way Sun talked about their habits and interests didn't feel strange in any way, like how sometimes people write kids and its like. have u ever interacted with a child in ur life HDKWHD it was just. they felt really truly alive.....

AND IT ABSOLUTELY DOES ADD MORE WEIGHT TO WHAT BLOODMOON DID YEAH. AND UR POINT ABOUT CANON FNAF YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Oms I was thinking something similar the other day and I'm SO GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS AHDKSNKD

Like. I mentioned that harm or death of children is the quickest way to make me sniffle and wail and wail, but fnaf never really managed to make me truly sad and weepy about the kids because, like you said, they were more plot devices rather than full characters.

BUT YESYES ALSO LIKE U SAID, by fleshing out their lives and making them more solid characters, it adds so much more weight to the actions of the murderer!! Bloodmoon looked at these little humans who flocked to him because they loved Sun and he saw food, he saw easy targets, and he took advantage of that to the highest degree!!! And it's like holy shit!!!!! Whadda hell!!!!!!!! Like u said, he robbed them of growing up, he had just as little regard for their new lives as he did the rats in the theater and it's like. AUGH.

BUT ALSO YEAG OUHG if Dazzle's dad or another dead kid became characters I'd lose it /pos

It would just be a very bittersweet feeling, especially if it was Dazzle's dad, and I think I'd never emotionally recover. Tsams if you hear me HAKAHSKS

[ian-galagher]

TAG GAME WEDNESDAY!

Thanks for tagging me Jess @jrooc Nosho @creepkinginc and Evie @energievie 🥰🧡

🔤 name: Willow 🤗🧡

🎶 last song you listened to: sunbird - it just makes me happy 🥰🧡

🎵 artist giving you the feels right now: mother mother - I'm obsessed with Hayloft (both 1 and 2) for reasons 😂

👯‍♂️ fave blorbo moment: this 👇 and the wedding, just, all of it 😂

🍟 your guilty pleasure snack: peanut butter straight from the jar 😋

🌮 what food are you craving today: I was really hungry today so a lot of things... 😂 but I guess I'm always craving stroopwafels 😋 and pepernoten now that they're available again 😋

📖 last fanfic tab you opened: if he's the moon, I'm eclipsed - the fic we're reading for Gallavich ficclub 😊 I'm halfway and it's really good!

🖌️ favorite fic project you've created: not Africa 😂 why did I start this, it's insane 😂 6k in notes I had to sort through this week! Now I gotta find time to write, too?! I kinda wish I'd never started it tbh 😂

👩🏼‍🎤 next tattoo you want (or would consider if you're not a tattoo person): not a tattoo person but I'd get all the art Nosho's made for me 🥰🧡💚

🧐🆓 what's living in your head rent free this week: new art, secret projects for friends, and a playlist full of songs 🥰

Tagging, if you wanna play, and if not, here's a hug 🤗🧡

@stocious @juliakayyy @skylerwinchester @bawlbrayker @sweetbee78 @vintagelacerosette @francesrose3 @look-i-love-u @depressedstressedlemonzest @sleepyfacetoughguy @xninetiestrendx @axhicleos @sickness-health-all-that-shit @jezzibelle89 @firecrxtch @crossmydna @mybrainismelted @thepupperino

[screamingay]

made yogurt bark yesterday to use up some greek yogurt i only bought for smoothies (freeze them into little ice cubes!!) and im a little obsessed they remind me of the m&m yocrunch cups i used to have as a kid but like. Grown Up version

recipe under the cut (very customizable ofc it's just yogurt with stuff)

1 cup creamy greek yogurt (highest fat content u can find or else it gets icy in the freezer)

½ cup peanut butter (almond butter would probably be good too)

as much protein powder as u can stand (½ scoop for me lol but u can skip this if u want)

1 chopped banana (or sliced, or skip the banana idc)

1-2 tsp maple syrup or honey

cinnamon to taste

3-4 oz dark chocolate (any other chocolate will make this more of a dessert than a healthy snack imo)

a good handful of chopped toasted almonds or peanuts

flaky salt (makes everything better)

stir up the first 6 ingredients (only half the peanut butter though) and spread into a thin layer on a parchment lined baking sheet, then warm up the rest of the peanut butter and melt the chocolate.

to make them look really nice pour each of these in alternating strips across the top and swirl them through each other with a toothpick or smth.

then it's just sprinkling the nuts and salt on top (gotta be quick since it'll harden up faster than u expect) and freezing overnight then cutting it into bite sized pieces.

i specify bite sized pieces bc all the recipes i saw online had pretty pictures of these big pieces and i forgot they're literally frozen. holding it in your hand to take multiple bites is like holding an ice cube it's not very fun. make them bite sized.

they should last for 3 months in a freezer bag after that (or so the recipe blogs say)

i'd imagine these will also make for good mix ins to smoothies, to melt into oatmeal, anything that could use a little yogurt and chocolate!! im excited to see what else i can do with these. and ive never been a greek yogurt fan personally so don't worry abt that if you usually only eat the low fat stuff. as long as u enjoy the yogurt flavor this stuff is great.

[gayratarchive]

Haii:3

I don't really know what I want this to be exactly. Maybe a sort of a nature trail walk of my feelings about gender and sexuality bc WOO MAMA I'm feelin fluid and there will be fluids. All I know right now is I want to get back into writing and what better way is there to do that than use it as a tool to work through the confusing but beautiful experience that is queerness. I feel as though I'm cracking the shell that has held me prisoner for two decades. A spider itching and twitching as it senses the coming molt of a body born anew.

I had a tumultuous winter with the lovely doll that is seasonal depression with a dash of destructive limerence to top it all off. To make it a truly delicious cocktail I had this deep, guttural feeling of wanting to crawl out of my skin. To fall away from my flesh, muscle, and bone and hoping it would put a stake in the heart of my depressive cycles and obsessive behavior. I wanted nothing more than for Mother Nature to absorb me into her hearth of lichen and moss. I missed the blazing sunsets and cacophany of cicadas that were everpresent in the early years of my life in the countryside. I longed for the comforting blanket of night where I felt like the only person on the planet, looking up at the constellations from the boulder in my front yard and never once feeling lonely. What happened to the blond toddler who loved his mother and danced in the rain til his socks soaked?

Underneath all these feelings of emptiness and longing for a time where I believed I was happier, there was a whisper of questioning. Something that told me I should start to explore my gender and sexuality on a deeper level. I can finally feel the layers of self-resentment and shame peeling away. I have grown to love my body for what it is, my body dysmorphia was an issue I struggled with for years on end. I feel comfortable being single and don't have the obsessive hopeless romantic longing for a partner or at least someone to obsess over for a week. I have jumped the two biggest hurdles that have hindered me in finding who I am at my core. It's finally time that I fall in love with myself, whoever that self may be. (◕‿◕)♡

FUCKKKKK that felt so fucking good to clack out. I am soo cunty 50s secretary at her typewriter occasionally taking a drag from her cigarette (I'm on my laptop and hitting the vuse). But RAHHH this is only the exposition bbygrl, I had to lay a good foundation for what's to come.

For right now, I'm playing around with the name Garnet and using it interchangably with Garrett. Using any pronouns feels very affirming right now. And the gag is on you bitches bc u can't misgender me LOLZ. But yeah :) this was very cathartic to write, and I'm very excited to see where this ritual takes me. Closed captioning for today's program is brought to you in part by peanut m&m's and Chappell Roan.

*kisses you genderly* Garrett/Gayrat/Garnet 3/25/24 12:25 AM

[drykoolaid]

Haiiii 💗✨😽

Soooo it’s occurred to me that I’ve never rlly made one of these intro posts so I’m doing this now :3

I’m DryKoolaid but u can call me Koolaid 4 short or literally anything bc idgaf 😘 I started this acc. Like a yr ago or smth idk mostly because I wanted a place to post stupid fandom stuff with out ppl ik irl seeing it

Im not gonna say anything rlly personal besides from the fact that im deranged when it comes to my hyper fixations and that I like peanut butter

I’m mostly obsessed with Murder drones (for the time being lol) , buttttt I used to have a stupidly huge obsession w/ HxH (no fr I have all the manga) ✌️☺️

Besides thattt some fandoms I fw would beee…

⭐️ Hazbin Hotel

⭐️ Helluva Boss

⭐️ TADC

⭐️ Chainsaw man

⭐️ TBHK

⭐️ Steven Universeee

⭐️ ATLA

⭐️ Amphibiaaa

⭐️ Madoka Magica

⭐️ TOH

⭐️ Neon Genesis Evangelion tf (haven’t watched it in a while I might be rusty)

⭐️ idk I’ll add more later my memory sux

I’ll be posting MD stuff anddd other stuff when the time comes that I want to bc this is my blog I DO WHAT I WANT 😾 ✨

I LOVEEEE to draw my sillies sm and babble abt them soooo don’t be afraid to say stupid stuff in the lil ask box and or ask me actually questions 🥰

Talking to strangers kick ass

Btwwwww if anyone wants to give me discords to join 4 murder drones or literally anything PLS DO IM SO LONELY UGHHHH

Im not sure what to put here next so I’ll just add to this

Bye 😽🫴💨💕

Heheh

[odxrilove]

OMG I FORGOT TO SAY BOYFIE 😭😭😭 i ate more peanuts today! they were so yummy, i actually have three bottles on my night stand cuz i love them so much! nom nom nom :3

3 BOTTLES ON UR NIGHTSTAND???? u crazy peanut obsessed person......

i do get it tho ^.^ peanuts are nom nom :P

[royrockstone]

what do u think eat what's rotten's roman would think about to the bone? I read his scenes about replaying the tape of ED film (I haven't clocked which one it is) but modern me treats to the bone how he treats that film

ok ive actually thought a bit about this before bc im a parody of myself. i think he’d outwardly cringe at it, mostly because of the hokey hopeful ending and the bottle feeding scene. in general, its just a little too earnest and a little too Feminist for him. but he’d also definitely watch it ten times— at first complaining out loud to no one about the inaccuracies (the Cool Therapist played by a hot guy when in his experience ed doctors are all a million years old and fucking clueless, the way they let that one girl just eat peanut butter, etc etc) but he’d also secretly rlllly identify with eli like she has that similar sarcastic little shit perpetual teen personality and the fucked up jokes and the ambiguous sex issues and possible gender issues and allll those parent issues. and hed be sooo so jealous of her (bc shes living this sort of idealized version of anorexia where she gets attention and validation but she also gets away with everything, bc ppl comment on her body all the time, bc her sibling openly shows concern, bc her family shows up for therapy.) he Certainly wouldnt relate to luke or any of the other characters, tho. 

maybe worth noting that the water runs off your skin-verse roman would be extra into it bc it has ana4ana romance (also the c/s moment in the dinner date scene in twroys is a littttle bit inspired by eli and luke’s date at the chinese restaurant) (not that roman is characterized differently in those two fics, just the plot events reflect the film differently, etc, you get it)

but youre asking specifically about ewr-verse roman! so id add that version of him has an almost compulsive relationship with these movies (in a similar way that the Brilliant fic dead things had him obsessed with the book wasted) so he’d definitely watch the shit out of it even if he thinks it's bad, and get a lot of the same charge he gets out of the movie hes watching in the fic (if you check the comments you’ll see several people who guessed what movie it is, if you rlly want to know! its an old school lifetime one, idk how well-versed you are in those) 

the Real question is what would he think of the lifetime movie starving in suburbia hjsggj

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 🎅

Yeah it was me who sent that greeting 😁 I didn't want to bother you with a long message, so I kept it short and simple hahaha

How are you? How was Christmas morning? Did you get some good presents?

I want that heat.. yeah, today it is at 9 degrees, will snow sometime later and there's wind chill of -2. So I am bundled up while working.

So I made the tiramisu..with a little twist. Have you ever had biscoff cookies? Instead of the lady fingers, I used that. Let me tell you.. it was amazing. Then I almost made this thing called a mango float.. it's a dessert from the Philippines and it's like a frozen cake. It was so good too.

The ham, it was a small 2 lb honey ham.. it came out perfect. I was very happy and content with the food yesterday. I ate an extra slice of the ham just for you. I thought to myself, "poor lefty eyebag, she is going to have turkey, while I am enjoying this nice honey ham...oh well" 🤣🤣

Hm so when I listened to that song, it made me think about something like a chaotic couple. Someone is obsessed with the other person but the other person is just stringing them along because they like the attention. The person that's obsessed is okay with it though and doesn't want to let it go.

I know what you mean about tumblr being a safe space hahaha when I was younger, I had a different tumblr account,and it was filled with angst and it was my diary. Of course now I don't know what the username and stuff is for it, and I think I deleted that tumblr.

Aw its good that Emily is having her fun since she is with her cousins! Poor adults though who can't sleep in hahaha but at least the best thing is to see the kids happy and enjoying themselves! Did she like all her presents from grandma?

What foods did you get from the Indonesian place? Was it all good like you expected it to be?

I hope you enjoy your Christmas celebrations 😁 don't party it up too much though, you aren't as young as you were... just kidding 😂

-CuriousGeorge

Hii hii curious corn-punn righty eyebag!

How r u? How is everything after christmas? Tell me what did i miss..😁

I'm back! Haha. Sorry for the late answer.. the last days of the trip were busier because we tried to do more stuff n hang out more. I went to my friend's christmas party though. Had some great indonesian food, my friend made huckleberry champagne mule too n it was so good! I had a few of that n some shots. 😅

Christmas morning was fun,Em got a lot of presents n she didnt even know where to start n she was kinda done opening gifts.after opened some.lol. one of my brother in law got covid so he n his family couldnt come to have turkey dinner with us.

We made turkey dinner with corn bread casserole, sweet potato casserole with marshmellow, gravy, mashed potato, sweet rolls, stuffing and candied carrot.

Wow the tiramissu u made sounds really good! I wish i could try some. I found a new place that sells tiramisu n it has espresso with grand marnier liquor in it. Oh my god! It's so good! I love it. It's one of the best i hv had.

Did u do the mango desert too? Aww did u really think of me when u ate that ham?😆 honey baked ham is so good, i love it.haha.

N yes thats a really good theory u got from that Glass Animals song. I love it, the relationship sounds toxic. 😅 but i bet it will be fun to write.

Yes, Em likes all the presents she got. She is so spoiled haha.

Well the indonesian restaurant i went was the one i used to go so i already know how good their food r. I bought 3 different dishes. 1 panfried thin rice noodle thats kinda the same with philipines pancit noodle i think.. 1 chickem poridge with curry sauce n spicy, with chunks of fried bread n green onions n i also got something thats called ketoprak. It's hard to explain but u can google it. It's a dish with thin rice noodle, with steamed rice cake, tofu, sprout n with garlic peanut sauce n some friedncrackers.

The desert i got is a thick pancake cut in half n folded with some toppings in the middle of it. I got the chocolate peanut one.

Now, the curious Q & A session is back.. so give me next question, curious george.😅😆🤭

Cheerio!

[dearfraumilena]

1. That one picture of the phoebe bridgers concert where its just the moon and her silhouette

2. How dare you ask me that (cheese)

3. My friends call me Gerald

4. Heatwave (julien baker)

5. When I was like 12... maybe... (no comment)

6. Nope

7. Just ears

8. How they act when they are alone vs with others

9. Peanut butter

10. Cat person all the way

11. Headphones definitely

12. Choosing the dish I wanted for the takeaway (duck pancakes (I was outvoted))

13. Idk any weird facts (my memory doesn't hold them) but a fact about me is that brackets are my fav punctuation (if u can't tell!!)

14. Night owl atm

15. ...bed (I can't sleep anywhere elsee)

16. I mean this is a boygenius fan blog

17. Nostalgic, Creative, Obsessed

18. Jeans

19. I never go it's so expensive

20. Obnoxious yellow colour

21. My records

22. Coffee

23. Dodo (I feel an affinity with them (and that's not a good thing))

24. Not long enough my friends not long enough

25. Headphones (can listen to ikte as I starve to death)

26. Ig dark academia??

27. Docs, flared jeans, brown waistcoat over a band t shirt, rings, my tooth pin badge, tote bag

28. ... too many

29. Blonde

30. More than I talk to anyone else

31. Eyeliner sometimes, otherwise no

32. Any compliment ever given by a child

33. But I love you all so muchhhh

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[krunchylegs]

more yap 💔

i think i want to do a fast on the weekend, a 48hour fast spanning over the weekend, if my dad cooks then ill have to do OMAD to avoid being suspicious (cant not eat bc theres already an underweight person in the household 😓) she doesnt have an ed, maybe ed behaviors but not in the way thats intentional, i think its more of a sensory thing or something like that.

im not sure bc she doesnt talk abt it but she wants to gain weight and muscle and go to the gym last time i checked, so idk why she aint tryna get her protein in. she just forgets to eat..

but anyways after the fast ill do omad with tomato soup for 2 days lol and then ill go back to eating 800 cals (limit not goal) bc i tried 700 limit and i think that was too low for me bc it made me obsess over food more. im still leaning into it, tbh im lucky tho bc when i first started tracking calories i usually hit 1500, but its still hard lowering calorific intake 😓esp when ur used to just eating when ur hungry, now its hard to not eat when im not even hungry??? like that doesnt make sense, and then i feel full and gross but its not even like a binge type of thing, and honestly ive misused the word binge a few times on my blog which im tryna stop doing bc i feel like its not an honest depiction of whats going on, anyways why does protein powder lowkey have so many calories like wdym 30g is 117cals, like what the fuck am i supposed to add that to, and then its like fat free greek yogurt! but if i dont add peanut butter it taste so sad, but then its like way more cals than i thought it would be + the volume isnt even that much..

at least i get to make my own lunch and breakfast, idk if i should start skipping breakfast again but after eating an apple for breakfast for a few days, u get used to having that extra bit of energy, honestly i think thats why i keep eating actually, i keep trying to keep my blood sugar up or something, istg why cant my body be smart and energize itself from the literal stored energy?? like ermmm thats what its there for??

anyways my food for tomorrow

breakfast+lunch(bc im not bothered to separate the cals i calculated for my lunchbox that also holds my breakfast) - 555 (oh em gee angale numbar 🥰)

falafel things - 220 i think

and if i eat outside of this itll be my dads chicken stew that he made, which was actually nice, it tasted healthy? it had vegetables in it, which like why dont i eat vegetables that often? i should buy frozen broccoli, i actually love broccoli sm its so underrated. not sure how to estimate it but if i eat any itll be a small portion, i dont think itll be too high cal, since the ingredients were pretty clean looking and its only stew, most of it is vegetables

anyways goodnight im so tired

[psychoticwillgraham]

fuck it, worldbuilding/john universe details under the read more bc i NEED to gush about it (a lot of these details will change but this is the stuff for now)

so this is part 1, bc there's a LOT of ground to cover here. if u have any questions about this stuff or wanna know more, just shoot me a message!! i'll never say no!!

this is basically the universe for every one shot with random oc's will be set in. like ive got a completely different set of characters for the purgatory cafe series, and yes you'll occasionally see the drag hell characters (John, Ambrosia, their whole peanut gallery, etc.) make an appearance.

ok so first of all, some john tidbits!!

his bday is halloween 1995 (how original)

(so far) his criminal record is public intoxication, battery, assault, disturbing the peace, underage drinking (when he's in his teens)

one of his formative events was (while drunk to the point of straight up dying) convincing his oldest sister to keep drinking while she was already near passing out, which led to her dying by aspirating in her sleep. that furthers his alcohol addiction, which culminates in a nearly successful sui attempt at age 26 (he's 28), and only survives because its not the devil's time to take his soul yet.

is autistic and his major hyperfixation is marine biology!! his main fave animals are coelacanths, manta rays, and whale sharks!! also, shrimp colors is his fave meme

is obsessed with knitting and is crazy good at it

REALLY likes cheese sticks, the most bizarre cocktails known to man and demon, and japanese snacks (REALLY into spicy shit too)

has a morality compass similar to hannibal

is aro but THE biggest whore

fave sayings are 'fuck it we ball' and 'live life deliciously'

from rural fuckstick missouri bc yknow, write what u know

heaven and hell details

ok so think of the afterlife in general in this universe as being a mix of a lot of systems. let me explain. theres levels to both heaven and hell, and purgatory is its own neutral thing, like a holding place.

lets start with the hierarchy of heaven: the tippy tip top where the big man upstairs, god, is. this is the level that evangelical christians in our universe would aspire and do literally anything to get to, to cozy up with god. literally nobody gets here bc u would have to be god himself or any of his lackeys to be here.

the second level: where the vast majority of people go. even those who were considered to be the best possible person they could be go here. its basically the living room of heaven, and u only get moved down if ur placement is questioned. you didn't have to strive to get here, you just go there anyway no matter how perfect you thought u were. basically, in this universe, u dont get extra heaven points for having been extra charitable or a try hard. if you were just fine or meh and not bad enough to get tossed down below, congrats, ur here.

purgatory, the true neutral/in between zone: every single person starts here unless ur legit pure evil. you get 'sorted' from here to either heaven, or one of the many sub levels of hell. some people just choose to stay here for their own reasons, and staff the various places here for souls in limbo, heavenly or hellish visitors, and just passerbys. think of the whole 'cafe in purgatory' idea where ppl just hang out for eternity or for however they wish. this is also where ppl in comas go until they either wake up or die.

hell, the top level: this is where the big kahunas go. the devil, his right hand men, the head demons in charge of each sublevel, and basically every extremely powerful demon. this is where the headquarters for operations in hell is.

hell, the holding level: most ppl who end up going to hell just get placed here. truth be told? the levels of hell are entirely up to the devil himself, and when someone dies, if the devil thinks they're super fun and raunchy, he'll send them here. basically, hell is one big party for the fun ppl and heaven is basically for the boring folk. now not all queers in this universe go to hell, most choose to stay in purgatory or ascend to heaven. in the end, most ppl get a choice anyway.

hell, the various sublevels: these are entirely up to the devil honestly. most of this is just considered individual hells for each person, kinda like the personal heavens in spn. i'm working on this section honestly

and finally, the bottomless pits of hell: where all the irredeemable pure evil fucks go. that's it.

[hawnks]

bakugou being forced to go be social with his friends and when he comes home, social battery drained, he just silently pulls you into a big bear hug that lasts forever so he can recharge