#u heard it here kids develop healthy coping mechanisms

[rcbertleckie]

MASTERS OF THE AIR PART 2 / PART 5 — for @lamialamia

[ofsvges]

cailin russo. cisfemale. she/her.  ／  sage morrissey just pulled up blasting girl anachronism by the dresden dolls— that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-three year old singer/songwriter / AGT judge, i’ve heard they’re really -cavalier, but that they make up for it by being so +self-reliant. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say lipstick-stained cigarette butts, irreverent lyrics screamed into a microphone, and neon lights reflected on pavement. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble! ( cailin russo, kiiara, & the dresden dolls/amanda palmer vc )

hello angels it’s ya girl lainie w my Edgy gay daughter !! i haven’t played her in a hot minute n i’m so.....excited come hmu for plots or like this and i’ll come @ u. also this got rly long i feel like so i apologize in advance yfteygrhujs

tws for: death, drug use/abuse, minor mention of/allusion to child abuse

so FIRST of all, sage is marnie’s half-sister; when their dad left marnie’s mom, it was because the other woman he was seeing in secret--sage’s mom--had already had a kid two years ago, and he was just narcissistic and gross enough to decide at that point that he didn’t wanna deal with kids from marnie’s mom too, thus leaving her to fend for herself while he finally prioritized (if that’s what you want to call it) sage and her mom. sage had no idea growing up that somewhere else in new york, her father--whom she hated--had an entire family he’d chosen to neglect in favor of making sage’s and her own mother’s lives hell.

he was an angry, aggressive person, and though he'd never done more than squeeze sage’s arm too hard when he was mad, he often threatened to, and the way he screamed at her was traumatizing. the whole thing scared the hell out of her when she was little and she developed a deep loathing for him because of that and because of the way he treated her mother. it was just wildly misogynistic and demeaning and even as a kid sage felt it in her bones that it was wrong.

he passed away when she was eight years old and it fucked sage up big time. not because she loved or missed him, but because she felt relieved. she was glad, and it scared the shit out of her to realize she could feel that way about her own father's death. for a long time it caused huge internal conflict and sage spent her teenage years acting out; she was having sex and doing drugs at a young age, ditching classes, doing dumb shit and running from the cops, etc etc. meanwhile her dad hadn’t left them much money and her mom was estranged from her own parents, leaving her to work two jobs and deal with sage’s rebellion on her own. 

she’d been teaching herself to play guitar since she was eight and piano since she was eleven and in high school, sage’s teenage angst and inner demons finally pushed her to start writing music as a coping mechanism and outlet. it wasn’t until she was twenty, however, that a girl she was dating got her to start putting that music online; long story short, she got discovered on youtube, had a huge first hit with her single “gold” (kiiara), another with her second single “pink sand” (cailin russo), and the debut album itself went platinum. she’s grown up a lot since high school but still retains that rebellious fuck-you aesthetic and is known for the biting sarcastic wit of her lyrics and the chaotic way her sound jumps from one style to another. like her Pop music is the kiiara and cailin stuff and her more irreverent (and probably less popular) stuff is the dresden dolls/amanda palmer stuff. they’re all mixed up together on the two albums she’s released which i have yet to sort out yfgdhjs

she laughed so fuckingugyfsegdhus hard when she got asked to be an agt judge this season but then she did it ??? and she gets such a kick out of it. she’s so ruthless but like. ya girl keeps it real

she doesn’t do hard drugs anymore; she did two stints in rehab, once when she was 19 and then again at 21, and the second time it actually stuck. she smokes a huge amount of weed so she can be kind of spacey but it rly just....keeps her grounded oddly enough. part of it ofc is that she still hasn’t fully healed from everything with her dad--and then finding out about his second family--but she’d never admit that and has talked about it in interviews MAYBE once very vaguely.

big top energy

she can come off like kind of a pretentious bitch but like she’s actually not tsyyeguhs lowkey she’s v non judgmental and chill she just like. has an attitude sometimes idk. she’s extremely extremely independent, doesn’t like relying on other people, needs to feel like she’s in control of her own life. i see her having had problems with record labels bc of that

overall she’s a rly good friend if she’s invested in the relationship but if she gets annoyed or starts catching the wrong vibes she’s pretty quick to cut someone out of her life. some of that is an actual maturity where she’s able to do what she needs to do for herself to be emotionally healthy, but part of that is also a defense mechanism and can end up ruining relationships that could have been fixed

also she’s very close to her mom now (they had problems when she was a teenager but after her second time in rehab, they put the effort into healing the relationship through a lot of therapy) and takes care of her now so she doesn’t have to work. there’s some part of her that feels like she needs to make up for what her dad did and tries to make her mom’s life as comfortable and luxurious and stress free as possible. her mom is a cute supportive twitter mom getting excited about sage’s music

connection ideas

music collabs!!! pls!!! and people she’s toured with maybe?? gimme all that stuff

a past pr relationship from when she was still newer to this whole Fame thing and thought it was a good idea, but it probably just ended rly badly bc eventually sage was like ???? lmao no

a good influence ! somebody who’s always there encouraging her to stay off the hard stuff and do her best :(

also a bad influence i love angst

someone SHE’S a bad influence on. either in the past w hard drugs or currently where it’s just like......they’re too soft for how wild and blunt and controversial sage tends to be

ex girlfriends thank u. also maybe a........guy she dated in hs before she came out. it would be so soft if they were rly good friends now 

fwb, ewb, one night stands that turned angsty (or not), literally anything along those lines

her RIDE OR DIE she would literally do anything for and would probably be her roommate too

[lacydrays-blog]

Why don't people just say no to drugs?

So, I read that USA is taking a few good steps attempting to combat opioid abuse. I like the news, generally. But then: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-opioids-sessions/u-s-attorney-general-says-people-should-just-say-no-to-opioids-idUSKBN1CV2ZG And this is why some “liberal/ish” people have no sympathy for “conservative/ish” people u.u Why do people get into drugs when they know it's bad for them?

Why don't people just say no to drugs?

Now, I am not some psychology specialist or anything of the sort. I will say what I say based on what I’ve been reading and observing in my own life. So. Here's one possible reason: People who “do not say no to drugs” are in a terrible position in their life - they are not capable of thinking straight. At that point it’s probably not even in front of them as an option - “should I do this? Should I not do this?” I mean sure - casual users are one story - but people who OD and fall into serious addictive patterns PROBABLY are not getting into this thinking that, “oh well, why the heck not, let’s start doing drugs!” Alright, have you looked around and observed what different kinds of people do when it looks like other people are not listening or believing them? 

You see some people throw a temper tantrum, raise their voice - something of the sort to do their best to deliver their message and "persuade" people. 

You see some kids pick up a gun and mow down a whole classroom or a hall full of people going to a cinema. 

You see some people inflict injuries on themselves, you see some people attempting (and some succeeding) suicide. 

All these people might just have something in common. 

And I think it's the feeling that they need to prove that they are in pain, they need time off, they need support, they need a lucky break, they need to be heard, they need to be understood - yet, people around them completely discard their needs. 

I came to this realization when I was trying to admit myself to a psych hospital when my life was about to fall apart - I felt like I was going to drop out, lose my job, lose my home etc, I felt like there was something very wrong with me and I felt that I needed some time off, help and guidance on understanding how to get my shit back in order.

I wasn't physically ill - so, I couldn't really use this as an excuse to take sick leave. You want time off? Why, you look completely healthy to me. You are having anxiety attacks? Oh many people around you do - the best thing you can do at this point is keep coming to work! 

Mhm. Well, lucky for me - I actually did come down with a very mysterious infection and fever - doctors never figured out where the infection was coming from (and I like to think of this as if the universe gave me a wink by handing me this "visual sickness") - but during the time I was going to the doctor, I did talk about being depressed and suicidal thoughts. 

Now this doctor was nice to me - and dearly - we need more doctors like her - but as I was heading off to the other hospital where they were doing this "mental health issues" stuff - the receptionist looks at me and tells me, "nah, you're completely fine, we admit people who are very mentally fucked up." 

And this shit sparked in my head: 

Do I really have to go and get "very mentally fucked up" in order to get some couselling and help? Do I have to go get a rope and attempt suicide? Is the only way to get my fucking mess in my head fixed by geting wheeled into the hospidal with overdose? 

And I figured that wow, ok, that's it. This is how, possibly, many people DO end up harming, killing and overdosing. To make a statement, to convince, to prove.

 Anyway, I didn't leave the receptionist just yet, I actually went ahead and asked her if this is what I have to do to get admitted? I then proceed to explain to her that my life is falling apart, I'm not sleeping, I'm having suicide plans, I'm going to drop out from my job and my progress - is that not enough? 

I must say I managed to convince her by saying what I said. But I have the feeling that a lot of people do not have it in them to confront older people, severely depressed people might have just walked out from there and gone ahead to prep themselves for departure - feeling they are so beyond use and redemption that not even the psych hospital is willing to help them etc etc. I think the same pattern applies anywhere, really. When certain conditions are met, and the person lacks "smart coping mechanisms" or ideas how to deal with some situations - there is NO moment for them to ask whether they should or should do drugs, or whether they should or shouldn't go take a gun to their school. They are way past the sale at that point. 

Some people throw a temper tantrum in attempts to be heard, and believed. Some people pick up a gun and do something dramatic. Some people attempt (and some succeed) suicide. Some people pick up drugs - because they know it sends a STRONG signal of "beyond all hope, do you believe me now?"

It's not an excuse - and yes I do know that all of the above are a bunch of unhealthy coping mehcanisms.

But that’s the problem - they lack the protocols in their brains to cope healthy.

I too, used to feel for a very long time that the only way I could get some well deserved nurture is when I am in distress. Even all the “art” I made back then was based on that belief.  Maybe it has something to do with how our parents give us attention - maybe the only time my mother attended to me was when I was crying - these patterns, starting from a young age, can develop into serious deficits in managing and understanding pressure later in life. I’m not playing victim here - I eventually got help and I think I have a better grasp of things now. But had I not mysteriously fallen ill in the middle of July 2015 and having a convenient excuse to visit the doc - who knows what kinds of measures I would have undertaken to try and relieve myself from the anxiety, panic and hopelessness I was drowning in. 

So, in that light I'm predicting that when the opioid distribution were to somehow die out - some other kind of dramatic bullshit will be on the rise. Suicides, shootings, bomb threats, rapes, assaults, homicide.

And I bet then some people would regret having cut off the freedom to use weed and such - because dealing with suicides, shootings etc seems to be an even harder task than reaching out to people who have become drug addicts. You can gather drug addicts to needle-refresh kiosks and bait them to free clean heroin, but how do you bait potentially suicidal/homicidal people? Put up kiosk “free ropes and guns!”?

Before our education system doesn't have a solid teaching for behavioral stuff, coping mechanisms, healthy thinking, persuasion - reducing ways for people to "make a statement" can't really be good.

I'm sure my described way isn't the only way people end up in listed activities, but something tells me that a large portion of people DO get into it for that very same idea.

Another way I used to think this could be eased - is when all people become more compassionate and considerate but haha - that's not going to happen. Not just like that. I picked up some buddhism and it felt wonderful and I was thinking why isn’t this thing more wide spread!? Yes, not going to happen. 

So, the only effective way I can come up with is introducing coping techniques, thinking, behaving, persuading into kids educational curriculum - so that they would be exposed to it regardless of their situations at homes. Why wouldn’t it reduce the rate of crimes, drug abuse, violence, suicides? 

Not every child is blessed with parents who give just enough to prepare them for a somewhat successful adulthood. I imagine that’s what separates “conservative” families from “liberals”. 

Consider this, and you'll maybe understand why saying something like, "people should just say no to drugs" achieves absolutely nothing.