#u guys should all watch lucids though

[your-fave-is-a-math-major]

Lydia Hills is a math major!

-minor: physics

-specialization: math education

-probable

[arminsumi]

Sleepyhead — 五夏

NOTE: idk if writing this made me sadder or was therapeutic either way let's cry together :')

SUMMARY — During your youth, you, Geto and Gojo made a magic charm that would reconnect the three of you in a different reality one day by a golden silk thread.

WARNINGS — not proofread, "just a dream" trope but really u just shifted realities and forgot your other life, angst, implied death / crossing over, based on the latest chapter bc i'm in pain and when i'm in pain i write 👍 sooo just in case: jjk manga spoilers (major char death, chapter 236)

Gojo caressed your cheek and muttered " You're such a pretty crier, but don't cry for me. Sh, I'm right here, baby, I'm right here. ", keeping his other hand intertwined with yours.

. . .

Your two eyes blinking out of a dream, coming back to reality. Or was it the other way around? Maybe you were awaking into a lucid dream.

At first it's a white space. A void. There's nothing but neutrality and emptiness. Then a golden silk thread is sewn across your chest. It leads down a corridor of white, one that stretches so far it almost feels like you're taking an infinite walk.

There's a door at the end, you open it. And all there is behind it is your old classroom, just as it was. There's Gojo Satoru, smiling that wide toothy smile like nothing in the world is wrong. And there's Geto Suguru, shaking his head and sighing a laugh over his best friend's ridiculousness. And there's Shoko Ieiri, peering over her folded arms as she rests her chin on the desk sleepily.

Walking obliviously into this memory while the real world continues on outside, you completely detach from reality and cross over. Why is it this memory ? It was such an ordinary day.

But it wasn't an ordinary day, you're mistaken; that day you wove a golden silk thread and imbued it with something, magic is a good word but no — it was an otherworldly "magic", something that's not sorcery.

You drift through this classroom memory, Gojo says hello and Geto smiles. Before you realize, you're floating past the exit door and enter another room — another memory.

It's then that you realize you're just drifting along the silk thread, hopping across each memory that you wove into it; their purpose to carry you over into another reality entirely.

More memories. More. And then some more. You're travelling through them, looking at them as if through a dream lens, half-detached, in a state of limbo. Not between life and death, but between realities where you're alive.

Maybe it was cruel.

The three of you leaving the world behind, shifting into different realities at your death, just so you could be happy and peaceful.

Final memories roll by, and you shift over; and in an instant, that whole journey seeps out of your mind.

You wake up just like any other day. Nothing is out of the ordinary. Gojo is crushing you with his weight, forcing you to blink awake and mumble groggily.

That was a long dream.

" Wakey wakey, sleepyhead — full body attack ! Okay, seriously, wake up. I want breakfast and I can't eat it unless you're with me. You know that. Why are you crying ? Did you have a nightmare ? Oh really ? What was it about ? "

Gojo follows you like a puppy throughout your morning routine. Though really, it feels like a mourning routine this time. Your chest feels so heavy, and you keep hugging him as if you haven't seen him in years.

" Hey, Suguru listen to Y/n's fucked up dream. It's insane, like a manga plot or some shit. Wish I had dreams of that. You should write it. "

" Oh ? Do tell. I'm curious. Aw, why the hug ? Y/n ? You okay ? Come on, let's make some pancakes. "

You watch the two of them in this ordinary habitat; Gojo lazing at the kitchen doorframe, talking about the awful ending to his favorite story.

" Y/n, you're zoning out. "

" Are you crying ?! "

" Sorry. I just missed you guys. I don't know why. "

" But we saw each other yesterday. We spent the whole night together. It was my birthday. "

" Yeah, and that's what's freaky; I feel like I just travelled for years. It feels surreal to look at the two of you. "

" Don't cry, come here. Satoru, take care of the pancake it's gonna burn. Y/n, wanna talk about it ? "

" No, I just want to hug you two. "

" GROUP HUG. "

" Satoru you're suffocating her. "

" Good group hugs are suffocating ! "

You stay with them in a long group hug. Everything feels alright.

" . . . the pancake is burning."

Suguru tends to it.

Satoru looks at you. " Cryin' ? Still ? Come here. You're so sensitive. "

He engulfs you in a hug again. Warm, soft, nice-smelling; this is definitely your ordinary reality. What a bizarre dream, though. Truly a bizarre dream.

" So how'd I die in your dream ? " he asks curiously.

" I don't want to talk about it. I just want to cry. " you choke, crying more into his chest. Suguru scolds him from the stove, while he scrapes burnt pancake batter off the pan.

Satoru looks down at you, cupping your one cheek, and says something that you swear you've heard before.

" Such a pretty crier. But don't cry for me. Sh, I'm right here, baby, I'm right here. "

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[yandere--stuck]

The god of sleep has no dreams of his own. When Hypnos sleeps, it grants him the opportunity of visiting those of others, drifting along as on a gentle river. It’s comforting. Shards and glimpses of lives that aren’t his own, of people and places that won’t ever mean the same to him, the visions indirectly threaded by his fingers. There are far too many dreams for him to make, which is why most aren’t. He brings them to sleep, and their bodies do most of the work.

Regardless, it is his domain. Every mortal needs to sleep, whether they like it or not, which makes him an inevitable part of their life. A third of every human’s day rests in his hands. As payment, all he wants to do is observe, to be in their company. (Hypnos likes humans. They don’t notice him in sleep, or worship him in their days, but he doesn’t mind. It’s easier to handle being ignored when it’s not their choice, when it’s impossible for them to notice him, rather than his mom’s cold eyes passing through him like he’s a sliver of mist.

At least when he’s among the dreams of the living, he’s less alone. There’s no judgement, but no praise either.) With how many mortals and dreams there are to go around, it’s rare for him to visit more than once. Though it’s much rarer for anyone to take note of him. Most people aren’t aware they’re dreaming while doing so, being swept along by their dreams instead of having control, but you’re not one of those. You’re blessed with lucidity, morphing bits and pieces of the experience as you go. Most importantly...

You see him. You laugh. “Well, I didn’t think I was lonely enough to make up some guy to keep me company… Guess you learn something new every day!”

In one motion, you pinch his chin between your fingers and pull his face towards yours. He lets out a surprised noise, at the fact you can touch him in the first place, and the movement itself. And it’s a high and squeaky sound, one that makes him want to curl up in his blanket and slip from this dream to the next. You make no comment on it, only smiling wider.

“Ooooh, your eyes are golden! So pretty… Glad my subconsciousness has good taste, at least.” You add the last part to yourself, laughing again.

You don’t think he’s real, just some made up character of your dream. It’s no surprise you aren’t aware that you can’t dream about someone you’ve never seen before. For now, he’s glad to have you believe that. It’d be more humiliating if you knew a god was making such a fool out of himself, heat rising to his face. His tongue is limp in his mouth. When was the last time someone called him pretty? Had anyone ever called him that, and touched him so carelessly? You save him from the burden of speaking up first.

“What’s your name? Do you have one?”

He hesitates. If you knew who he was, you wouldn’t treat him the same anymore. “I don’t! But, um-!“

Hypnos knows and accepts what others think of him, knows that he’s no good at his job or much else, but if there’s one thing he would excel in, it would be here. He straightens his back a bit from its usual slouch, the tips of his feet grazing the ground as he floats. “I’m here to make sure you’re going to have a grand old time, you know? I know aaaall about having fun in dreams! Why, you could call me an expert! At your service.”

He does this stupid little bow, and immediately regrets it. You laugh, but not at him, and people don’t usually find him this entertaining, he thinks, and if you keep this up, it will become one of his favourite sounds.

“Alright, mister dream expert,” You say with a grin. “What did you have in mind?”

He helps you float like he does, and assists you at conjuring up whatever idea pops into your brain. Hypnos expected you , but that’s not all you do. You try to ask him questions about himself, even if you supposedly don’t think he’s real, and you actually listen. And when you tell him about yourself in return, he does the same. It’s fun, he’s having a good time, and he’s disappointed when he’s jolted awake because of someone walking too close past him. He’ll have to apologise for suddenly disappearing next time. (Next time? Does he want there to be a next time?)

Hypnos makes a habit out of visiting you. You’re not always aware you’re asleep, sometimes your dreams are the same as any other human’s. He savours those days too, at the insights into your life it offers him. However, it’s most enjoyable when you look at him with bright eyes and talk to him, and laugh at things he says and joke around at this side. There’s a warm tightness in his chest around you, he’s happy, he is, but also impossibly nervous to mess up and have your smile turn into a sneer. It’s surprising you even still want to be around him, if past experience is anything to go by, he isn’t any good at not annoying people. But you’re different. You haven’t insulted him at any point, either! You must really be some blessing.

Hypnos thinks he likes you. A lot. He’s never thought of it before, whether this is allowed or not. Never considered the possibility of forming a close bond through dreams. Hypnos decides that it is, and who would he even ask, isn’t he the deity of sleep? He’ll make his own rules, number one being that it’s totally a-okay to have dream friends! That you visit and think about all the time and spend all your time thinking up new fun ideas for! And sometimes you scratch their name into the margins of your lists while zoning out! He’s getting off track. (And, well, this all seems more like a problem exclusive to him…) What he wants most is to have you down here with him, to touch you and feel something, to have you around while you’re awake and asleep.

But to do that... It would be an offense to all sacred rules to meddle directly with the path the Fates had set out for you. Perhaps they’ll have some mercy on him for being family. Either way, he’s going to falsify your cause of death in the records. He's tired of being a bystander in your life. Hypnos doubts whether you can even remember him when you wake up. He isn’t exhausted in his normal way however, it’s no tugging at his eyelids or yawns hidden behind an open palm. This hurts. It’s an ache, an empty hole beyond his ribs. Your warmth needs to fill it, he’s sure. He wouldn’t be able to stand and watch as your life blossomed, how you would inevitably love someone else, be happy and forget about him all together. (It’s unfair. He's never had anyone that wanted be anything of his. Not a friend, not family, not a lover. And now you’re here, the first to not see him as a disgrace, and now he should let himself be stopped by some old rules?) Because compared to what someone right there with you could give, what did he have to offer? If he believed everyone else, he had nothing of worth to give anyone. All he had was this love, what he thinks is love. But you laugh with him, you seem happy, and what he knows of human life is suffering. So many terrible deaths, so many unresolved emotions, so many wishes that never came to be.

Hypnos could save you from it all. You would never have to worry about anything again. But he knows how much humans fear death: It’s reflected so often in their worst nightmares, after all. The last thing he wants to do is scare you.. How surprised you’ll be at suddenly finding out he’s real, not just a figment of imagination!

He’s giddy. The two of you could have be together forever! (And if you didn’t love him back, why would you smile at him like that? Why did you always say you were happy to see him return? He has neither experience in friendships or relationships, but he shares those sentiments, so you must love him too. Otherwise… He doesn’t want to think about it .)

So he visits you. Hypnos floats above your bed, watching down upon you. He caresses your face as you rest, watching you through lidded eyes. You called him it first, but you’re pretty too. He doesn’t care about your hair being a mess, or the dried drool on your chin, or how you lay in a weird position, legs and blanket all tangled up. Your soft breaths are adorable, and he wants to coo at you, to make your face turn warm instead of his.

The thought of his brother seeing you and taking your soul makes him uncomfortable, he wants this vision of you to be only his.

Your eyes crack open with a little groan and before you have the chance to struggle or cry out, he presses a kiss against your forehead, forcing some of his raw power into your frail, mortal body.

It shouldn’t hurt. He asked. Your form was never meant to take godly powers, it’s too overwhelming, destroying you from within, and you go limp within a second. It’s like you fell asleep. A sleep so deep you will never awaken again. (i know hypnos doesn’t govern dreams his sons do but i had an Idea,, hope u enjoyed!!)

---

(THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE OH MY GOSH!!!!! You're so talented, this is written so beautifully, it's amazing!!!!

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO POST!!! I've had a busy past few days ^^; I also hope it's okay that I had to edit it, or it'd be a big block of text, hehe. Thank you so much again!!!! 💚💚💚)

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[at-lxs]

• Cade is born three years after Tess, enough time for Tess' parents to be like "did we fuck up?" and then they have Cade who is...the opposite of Tess and are like ah no, our daughter is just Like That

• Tess is not small, but she is quiet. She blends in. She's unsettling up close and from afar, watching you, but middle distance is comfort zone. You see her face but you're sure she's like that because she's lost in thought, not watching you.

• Cade is used to this by the time he is old enough to realise it is not normal for your older sister to have dead doll eyes and a flat expression and no smile lines by the time she's graduated highschool as you're like halfway through it and your friend leans over and says hey, that chick's weird and you say that's my sister and your friend winces.

• Tess is someplace else by the time Cade graduates, with her statement of watch the car not like a warning or a hope because Tess doesn't Do That, it's just a request that while she can't, Cade will do it for her. He'll watch the car.

• Before she leaves though, Tess is a good older sister.

• She never runs out of patience for the more emotional member of the family. Cade cries about a bunch of things, largely out of his control, which is when he cries the hardest - he stood on a snail once, he tripped over a dog, he dropped a guy's coffee, the list is endless and Tess is always there to sit, lend her shoulder, pat him on the back and go. It's not exactly comfort, but it's never shame like others offer. Never you're such a fucking pansy, even your sister cries less than you. Cade appreciates it in a way others dont get.

• Tess has never cried, actually. She got handed her baby brother at three years old, looked him over curiously, and then gave him to her dad so she could eat. Since then, Tess has been to three funerals and one emotional wedding. She's never teared up. Cade is sort of jealous of this cause he's meant to be a man, damnit till Tess leans down and says, quiet, if people make fun of you for crying, tell me and I'll beat them up. She's eleven the first time she says it, but she means it.

• Cade would get angry on the behalf of her, because people make fun of the girl with a large lack of expression - never to her face, but out of ear shot - and Cade mentions it all sad and crying cause you're a good sister and Tess pats his shoulder and says whatever other people say about me doesn't mean shit unless I agree, so Cade nods and goes to sleep and says shut the fuck up, man, you're just jealous she doesn't look at you like you're a king when a bully jeers at Tess.

• He gets punched for it, obviously, but Tess comes in and takes care of it and stands by his shoulder when the bully walks out to his dad's car. Cade says I didn't mean to get him in trouble and Tess says I know and that's that. It's acknowledgement and no thank you and Cade doesn't need her to thank him for being a good little brother when she's a good older sister.

• There's an ugly phase where Cade hates her like he hates everything because he's young and angry and he cries a lot and his friends keep saying you're a fucking pansy and Tess listens to his sobbing breakdown about how he's so fucking weak, he cried over a dead bird, and Tess says I'm too weak to carry feelings like you do and it's the oddest fucking thing Cade's ever heard. He looks up and says what? and Tess continues you feel so much that you have to cry to let it out. There is so much in you that it breaks. I've never been strong enough to carry that.

• Their dad Mike listens from outside their door and smiles, just a bit, because Tess doesn't lie, and Cade sounds mystified, and he is gonna have words with the school that lets this bullying happen. Tess gets Cade his favourite ice cream and they watch a movie together, Cade sobbing at the end, Tess quiet beside him.

• I don't want, Tess says, very simply, when Cade asks her what he thinks he should be when he grows up, when he's young and his older sister somehow manages to make him fly. He doesn't recognise the meaning of it then, but Tess dies, and Cade sits in the car she and their dad repaired and sobs, remembers; I don't want, so that you'll know what you want to be belongs to you.

• She means; I don't want, so want for yourself. She means; I don't want, so be whatever you want to be. She means; I don't want, so when you want something, don't think about what I might want for you.

• Tess dies, and she says watch the car, and Cade becomes a therapist for kids who are so much, and strong enough to carry that, to stand in front of the dam and survive what comes out. He says, my older sister said she was too weak to carry emotion, and there is so much inside us that it has to break, and feeling is not a weakness: feeling so much is strength in being able to carry something so big for so long that it has to break so you can breathe afterwards.

• She was not a conventional good sister, and she was barely a person, and her personality consisted of punching the things inside you that you never even wanted pointed out, but Cade misses her, and Tess in his head says you're strong enough to carry this and Cade keeps going.

• Mike and Tess got along for very simple reasons, of which there were two: she was his kid, and she got the job done. He asked her to take out trash and she did and he asked her to hold Cade and she did and he told her to make sure Cade's bullies didn't get away with shit and she did.

• He sticks her in fighting classes and she's a model student. She's good, and she grows tall like her dad, graduating at six foot four inches, broad and apathetic and good at the shit she's trained in. The classes are satisfying, she thinks. Release of tension. Fighting is focus and rhythm and she still likes her back alley brawl moves, but this is nice, too.

• Mike hands her a grease stained rag when Cade's over at a friends house one weekend and says you're gonna learn how to fix a car and means: love is not emotion, it is dedication and time shared. It's a lesson Tess keeps. Love is not a feeling, because she can't feel. It is time, and dedication, and her dad teaching her the mechanics of an old car, and that's all she needs.

• She has a dream where someone cuts her open and she's all car parts and engine grease like blood, oil in her mouth, the lucid dream reality of seeing rust on her ribs made of cracked metal. This is a dream Irca enjoys, the idea of metal inside. A conduit. A lightning rod. Tess wakes up and brushes her teeth and doesn't lose sleep over it. A dream is a dream, and logic says she's muscle, fat, and bone.

• Her mother isn't always around, but she's the loud love. She kisses Cade's messy hair and reminds him to brush his teeth and pulls out a game of sudoku when Cade is at school but Tess is sick and feverish and red eyed, stuck in her bed and emotionless still. They get along like friends do. It's hard to feel loved by a face that doesn't show it but Tess says this is car maintenance in her fever haze and Allison nods and accepts it. This is car maintenance.

• Mike says I told her love is maintaining it and it makes a little more sense.

• Yes, her watch the car means: I'm asking you to maintain this love because I can't.

• Tess shows up randomly in their house years after she dies, taller and bigger and scarred, her eyes gold in an unfamiliar place, and Cade says Tess? from where he's standing on the stairs and Tess says hello and it's not an emotional reunion like the movies but Cade cries and Tess says you watched the car and Cade, who knows what that means from Mike saying, as they were cleaning out the old car, this is what Tess did with me to show she loved us, cries into her shoulder.

• Allison and Mike come home early with Questions because Cade called and Tess says I didn't leave on purpose and that Means Something when your daughter values choice and maintainence, and it's muddled but it means: I'm sorry and I didn't mean to leave and if I'd been here I'd have maintained the car, I promise.

• She says I have to leave again in a week, and the exact time limit was vague, and can we work on the car again? It's a goodbye she gets to have, this time. She isn't choosing to leave but she's giving them a warning.

• Cade is curious as to what the fuck is up, and your eyes were gold? and Tess sparks her hands up with lighting and Cade stares at it and goes cool. in a dazed voice. Mike is fascinated and horrified. He asks how it happened and Tess says an entity found my lack of emotion interesting, and I think I they wanted me to panic, and I can control it.

• Where were you? Allison asks, like a mother with a kid who stayed out too late instead of a mother with a daughter that disappeared for years, and Tess says another world and she's never lied before. Allison says what the fuck and Tess says there was no sudoku. Allison laughs then cries then laughs again.

• Can you stay? Mike asks, somehow the begging optimist of this situation, because Allison spent all her hope at the start and Cole is a therapist. His daughter is so much bigger now, and her hands are electric, and she's covered in scars, and she looks at him over the hood of the car and says I have a car, over there, and I will buy a new one for you.

• The end of the week comes, and Tess has notes written, left in their coat pockets. Cade and Allison and Mike all have pictures of her. She was there for a week, and she worked on the car.

• They put their most treasured belongings of her in the car and smile at it every time they leave the house.

[burning-clutch]

A Garden Variety Ghost

Category: Gen,

Pairings: Jack/Maddie        

Author: @burning-clutch (Team Ghost)

Characters:  Danny, Jazz Maddie, Jack 

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, and drug like effects           

-.-.-.-.-.-

 Ding Dong!

 The doorbell ringing in the Fenton household was always an event for many different reasons. One main one being that Jack Fenton was like an overly excitable guard dog that could actually open doors to launch out into the streets at the wayward delivery personnel. So when a hapless U-ship worker came with a collection of boxes he was met with the Fenton Foamer and a number of prolific apologies from Maddie.

 “So what did you order?” Jazz asked from her spot at the kitchen table, looking up from her book only briefly to eye the cardboard package hoping to discern something from its inconspicuous form.

 Maddie placed the box on the table in front of Jazz while Jack bounced excitedly beside her. “We were checking old references in my old Fenton-Nightingale book and we found a few things detailed we wanted to try out!” he boomed excitedly giving a giddy chuckle as Maddie opened the box.

 “Okay… and that means what for us exactly? Should I stay at a friend's for a week?” Jazz asked nervously peering into the box only to frown when she saw nothing but packets of cushioning.  

 “No no. It’s fine.” Maddie said with a wave of her hand pulling out the air cushions to get to the prize. “We’re just looking into the details of ghost plants.”

 “Yeah! There were a few in here that said they did stuff to ghosts! And the main one was blood blossoms, but they’re practically extinct, and we weren’t able to get those, but we got all these other ones to experiment with! Now we just gotta catch a ghost and shove them onto it!” Jack said, pulling out a small package of seeds.

 “As soon as the plants grow,” Maddie added with a laugh. “I suppose gardening can be fun too,” she mused. “Come on hun, let’s set up a Fenton Grow-op”

 “You know how that sounds right?” Jazz sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Seriously it sounds like you guys are getting into illegal ghost drugs or something…”

 The Fenton parents exchanged a look before shrugging. “Well if it only affects ghosts it’ll be fine.” Maddie waved off flippantly.

 “Yeah Jazzy! It’ll give us a good insight into how they think then! If they think at all!” Jack added, his grin threatening to split his face.

 “So you’re going to see if ghosts can trip out?” Jazz asked incredulously.

 “For science!” Jack boomed, seeming to disregard his daughter's look of disbelief.

 “Well not just that, we don’t really know the full effects these may or may not have. There are plants that attract, repel hurt and soothe ghosts.” Maddie explained gently taking the seeds that Jack was threatening to take off with. “Come on sweetie, let’s get these planted.” Maddie urged her husband to go down to the lab.

 Jazz sighed before sending off a quick text to Danny, to avoid the lab for the next few weeks as much as possible.

 Of course, that only worked for so long before Danny was told to clean the lab or else his parents would retaliate by taking away his computer for a week... And with the new Doomed update on its way it was a risk, he was willing to take.

 He crept down into the lab cautiously, hovering in the doorway for a moment before making note of the potentially dangerous flora that was innocently hanging out beneath a plexiglass barrier and a bright sun lamp.

 He double checked the mask on his face, a gas mask he had found in the garage, it had Duel Jack Fenton faces on either side of the filters but if it worked he would suffer from the embarrassment of wearing this stupid thing for a few hours.

 If any of those plants were half as potent as the Blood Blossoms were he would be in trouble if even the pollen were to hit his skin… let alone if he were to inhale something like that…

 With a shudder, he took a hesitant step into the preverbal lion’s den. “Why do both Sam and Tuck have to be busy today…” he groaned to himself as he finally landed on the lab’s floor.

 He crinkled up his nose behind the mask and moved along the wall of the lab, always keeping his eyes on the plants as if they were going to come to life any second and attack him. Though in this household you never know…

 When he finally made it to the shelf he pulled down a box of disposable nitrile gloves and snapped on a pair. Next, he reached for a pair of goggles, popping those onto his eyes. "Right," he said aloud to himself, now as protected as he was going to get without opting to wear a hazmat suit, which he hated the feel off on his human skin.

 He stared at the plants across the lab a moment before deciding it would be best to start there first. Deal with the area most in danger then work outward.

 He frowned in concentration as he began to clean the plexiglass. this was going well so far, good… this will work go-

 "Danny boy!" Jack boomed as he entered the lab causing the teen to jolt in surprise. The action caused his arm that was holding the squeegee to be thrown upwards popping the sealed box open and releasing some sort of purple pollen from the container.

 Danny winced seeing that, infinitely thankful for the mask he had on.

 "Hey, you found the Fenton anti Ecto Gas mask!" Jack boomed, pulling the device free with a wide grin. "I've been looking everywhere for this baby! Now we can have taco nights again! Your mother refused to make them, cuz -a what happens at night after… well, you know how it goes'' He chuckled, giving his son a slap on the back in gratitude.

 Danny just stared wide eyed at his father, there were so many reasons why he didn't need to know about his father's nighttime emissions, but moreover, he had just stolen the gasmask! the one thing that was stopping the… the…

 "You're doing great Dann-o Just remember the gear isn't to play around with… Now I gotta show Maddie this babyˋs back!” Jack boomed leaving his glassy eyed son to stare off into the void, a dopey smile crossing his face.

 What was he so worried about again? Danny blinked slowly as he stared down at the purple pollen. Right that… but why? This was relaxing… it was as if everything just melted away into the background. The scent from the pollen was intoxicating…

 Wait… He blinked his eyes rapidly a few times to clear them. "What?" he stared down at the floor again. That had felt incredibly relaxing! and he felt rejuvenated and energized now!

 He resolved then to figure out what plant it was that did that. it was like a ghostly energy drink! Maybe his parents had flubbed up again like with the ecto-dejecto? He smiled and looked towards the first flower that he could suspect the purple pollen came from.

 The flower looked like some sort of purple pinkie sunflower, with a red tinted centre. Carefully Danny lifted the glass and poked the greenish leaves, before poking the centre of the plant. "Hm…." he stared at it blankly for a moment.

 "Nope, nothing…" He mused this flower was a dud it seemed.

 Moving on he found something that looked like a deep purple tulip, with blood red leaves. He found himself enraptured with this one even before he opened the glass. it was beautiful and he couldn't think of anything more lovely….

 He had to have it.. it was… calling him…

 without even thinking he shifted into ghost mode and phased his hand through to pluck the delicate flower from its stem. He stared at it perplexed a moment before stuffing his face into the plant's open petals, breathing deep and savouring its sweet scent.

 He felt a bit like a cat when he was finally snapped out of his bliss and found himself rubbing his face all over the petals sticky bits of pollen now covered him.

 He wrinkled his nose as he pulled off the sap like pollen onto his glove. It wasn't burning or hurting him so that was something at least… Something that Sam had once told him about plants sparked into his mind. Something about plants attracting certain things for pollinators?

 Great, he was reduced to a but brain now… Though it would make sense if these things were probably grown in the ghost zone before having their seeds dispersed through the human realm

 He glared at the remainder of what once was the tulip, a moment vaporizing the flower pulp to ash in revenge for his idiocy before moving on to the next one.

 Curious now, he opened up the next plant in the line of the trays. This one was a large white flower with a lime green innard and as soon as the teen stuck his head in to examine it he recoiled in disgust.

 It smelled awful! "Nope!" he shut the lid in such a hurry on that one.

 Next to that was a ball shaped cluster of flowers that just seemed to make him angry more than anything. He shook his head and quickly moved on from that.

 On and on he went examining the various plants, with varying degrees of nothing or something with such a small change that he couldn't even really decide if it was really the plant or not.

 it was when he came back around to the mushrooms that his parents were growing that things got a little more… Recreational…

 When he opened up the container to poke at a weird curling mushroom it exploded it's white and blue spores at him.

 Danny grinned brightly a second later and found the world looked as if it suddenly had taken on a deeper saturation, and lights had large star trails following them.

 including the ghostly glow that was on his body… That was simply fun to watch. how his fingers curled and flexed, then turned to mist and back to solid again. Why was this so fun? And since when did the lines in the floor turn to water? how did his parents get them to ripple like that?

 Danny poked the floor with a toe and giggled as he can see the soundwaves from the clack, incredibly loud on the floor, ripple out in the pond that became of the metal. The portal to the ghost zone spinning became still the longer Danny stared at it, it was lucid and wondrous and well… trippy.

 Danny hardly noticed when a grumbling Maddie entered the basement lab holding the infernal Gasmask. The last thing she needed right now was her husband's- "Wh-What's...?" She trailed off, blinking in confusion as she stared at Phantom.

 The ghost was logrolling, though staying perfectly still otherwise in the air, all the while staring at the ghost portal.  

 While the huntress's first instinct was to toss a net at the infernal ghost to catch him, she hesitated upon noticing some of the flowers she had been cultivating had been messed with.

 Well, then this was a potential scientific breakthrough that she probably won't get another chance to have… A lucid highly human like, and sapient ghost had taken some of her plants for seemingly recreational purposes….

 “Phantom. Why are you here?” Maddie asked in the most authoritative voice she could muster with the smirk pulling at her lips. the Famed and controversial hero, Phantom. high as a kite and spinning madly at the ghost portal like he was trying to find an end to the endless swirls.

 The ghost startled at her voice stealing his endless spinning to stare at her upside down. The ghost's pupils were glowing brightly, and the iris had grown wide enough to be seen within the glowing orbs.

 "Mom!" he gasped out, mouth falling open in his shock, as he blinked his wide eyes, and clicked his green tinted tongue as if he'd suddenly tasted something utterly foul.

 Maddie raised an eyebrow at the comment. There wouldn't be any way Phantom would or should remember his human life to any capacity… It was most likely a result of whatever plant the creature had gotten into… Still…

 She figured she could use it to her advantage.

 Without disputing or reprimanding the ghost for his claim she simply moved onto more important matters."What on earth did you get into?"

 Phantom stilled at that, he stopped his movements and did his best imitation of a statue, somehow, incredibly, it still had some sense that forced him to keep up a compulsion that made it look like he was breathing.

 "I- um… I," he stammered staring at her with wide wild eyes. "I'm sorry Mom! I wanted to tell you!" He called, his eyes were starting to water now.

 How did she find out?! Did she see him transform? Actually, when did he transform? Why was everything moving? How… How did she…

 Maddie tilted her head watching the ghost curiously. He did remember his mother than to some degree it seems…Was he still around only because he was looking to confess to his family?

 Actually, now that she was able to see him up close… He really looked like a child… She took a couple of steps forward towards the ghost, who sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve.

 Despite herself, she asked him "Is that the only reason you're still here? because you never got to tell your family you'd died?" What a horrible thought? A child taken and killed, the parents and family left behind not knowing what happened to him.

 “Not exactly… I mean I always wanted to tell you guys... But I just… There were so many ghosts attacking… Then you were saying Phantom was no good… And I tried to be as good as I can!” he sniffed. He was very much not in the right headspace for this to be happening right now…

 Maddie seemed to shift and shimmer stretch and bend. The teen suddenly found himself tunnelling in on the jumpsuit Maddie was wearing. The teal colour that bled into the black accents. The smooth rubberized feel and slight crinkling as she moved and shifted. It squeaks…. He could just barely make out the zipper under her neck tucked into the collar jostling slightly as she breathes. He remembered being held as a kid and staring up at that zipper… she would cradle him on his back and he would stare up at it and…

 “Phantom what-” Maddie never got to finish as the ghost slammed into her. He curled around her. like a dog jumping into her arms. His ghostly tail wrapped around her arm and around her waist, as he looked up at her with bright green eyes, and overly enlarged pupils.

 “I- I’m so sorry mum…” Danny sniffled out before burying his face in her shoulder tightly squeezing her as he sobs.

 Maddie was trapped by the ghost now, unable to move her arms from the hug, or legs without tripping herself up in his tail. She stares incredulously down at the white mop of hair that was just under her nose… so lifelike and soft, like real human hair…

 Though now that she was right up to him like this, she noticed other oddities too. The texture of his suit and the skin that she could see from his face was incredibly detailed. He had freckles even! She could see every individual hair on his head unlike other ghosts that had more of a blanket effect, whispy and fuzzy but not really hair…

 The thing that really drew her eye, however, was the jumpsuit. Or more specifically the clasp at the back of the ghost's collar… An emblazoned F a distinct design that she knew all too well. One she herself helped Jack to design… This was undoubtedly at one time a proper Fenton jumpsuit…

 Which means this child… this child who was no older than Danny, he was probably one of his friends! In a borrowed jumpsuit no less! But if someone had borrowed a suit and got killed in it somehow surely she’d have noticed…

 The ghost shifted allowing her to move and giving her freedom of her one arm. His core seemed to buzz in his chest as he held her ever tightly. “This is .. nice… I … was so worried about how you’d take this all…. I… I was stupid…” he shuddered as he spoke each word coming out with rapid and haggard breaths.

 “It’s fine... “ Maddie offered, though her mind was a million miles west as she pondered over the clasps. She needed answers… Reaching over into the plants she pulled out something that looked like a queen's Ann’s lace but with bright blue flowers.

 She stuffed Phantom's nose in the flower and watched with mild relief as the ghost’s eyelids drooped and closed. She sighed again as his tail loosened up around her and she slumped against her. “Well, at least I know that one works” She mused aloud.

 Not even a second later Phantom sighs deeply and a bright ring flared at his waist, causing Maddie to yelp and drop the ghost on the ground thinking an attack was building.

 Instead, she was mildly perplexed as it continued to wash over Phantom, bathing the ghost in light as he changed. Everywhere the light washed over, the colours of the ghost seemed to invert until it passed over his head.

 “D-Danny?” Maddie whispered out in surprise. She was thinking of all the experiments she could run but now… her mind stalled as she stared down at the prone form of her son. What happened to make him like this? Was it even really her son or was phantom somehow still awake enough to pull a trick like this? Making her see her Danny instead of…

 Instead of Danny Phantom.

 “Oh-Oh God…” Maddie gasped and slid next to her son, scooping him up into her lap.

 When Danny next woke up it was to a bleary bliss that he wasn’t quite too sure what to make of. “Mum?” He mumbled out as he blinked his glassy blue eyes up at her. Why was his head so fuzzy? It was like he was underwater... “You cryin’?” He asked softly before his eyes widened and he jolted. His core fluttering in his chest. Had something hurt her?

 “It’s okay baby, I know you were so scared before but you don’t have to be any longer… I know… I know I’ve made some terrible mistakes against Phantom… against you… but I promise I’ll do what I can to make you feel safe here…” She sniffed and curled her form around his burying her face into his shoulder.

 Danny’s muddied thoughts spun out to a halt as his memories caught up with him. That’s right! She knew! she knew! And apparently accepted him!

 “Y-You have no idea how much that means to me…” He sniffed too, tucking his chin over her shoulder. And squeezing her tightly just as he had only an hour earlier as Phantom. “I love you so much…”

 “I know hun… I love you too… and I promise I’ll make this up to you any way I can.” She responded in kind. Tomorrow she’ll look into the plants that can help to cure her son, but for right now? She would be content to offer the love and comfort they both so dearly craved.

 -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 Complete

 Word count: 3281

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23457526

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[give-me-chocolate-croissant]

Ah I said i’m taking music surveys, so here’s another one. Still my fav songs playlist on shuffle. It's the first line of each Song. Hope it’s funny to read :c

What were the first words to Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?: Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? (Cleaning out my closet • Tribe Society)

What did Martin Luther King have a dream about, anyways?:  They want to know the state of that union (Robots can’t drink • E Dubble)

Tomorrow’s newspapers will all have the major headline of: Focus on you in the light, it helps me fill my emotions (Flare guns • Quinn XCII) [that would be weird xD]

If someone offered you some free drugs, how would you respond?:Do what I want cause I can and if I don’t because I wanna (Hate to say I told you so • The Hives)

What kind of higher power do you believe in?: It was a quarter past 2 when I started feeling blue and if I tell the truth I was thinking about you (Fire up the night• New Medicine)

What do people really notice about you?: Try to tear us apart but know that we’ll wear our scars (Scars • I Prevail) [?!]

What do you notice first in the preferred sex of your choice?: May the last leaf fall (Did we miss the morning ? • Seafret) [okay.]

What do you look for in reading books?J’ai vu ma mère amorphe et morfler sous morphine (Vagues de glace • Lechad) [it means “I saw my mom lifeless and copping it on morphine”. The title means “waves of ice”. It’s a very sad  but beautifully written song...]

What’s a must-have quality in a friend for you?: I just need some time, I’m tryna think straight (If you want love • NF) [xd ok?]

What scares the shit out of you?: When did I become so numb ? (Paralysed • NF)

How do you laugh?: I can see the sunset just inside of your bedroom (The Afterglow • Silverstein)

Why do you do these surveys?: Toujours au même endroit à la même heure  (SI j’étais pas là • High Five Crew) [it means “always at the same place at the same time” and the title means “if I were not here”]

Do you have anything you’d like to confess?:we all know quite a number of people who have everything it would take to be happy (To be happy • Joey Pecoraro) [actually true]

How do you feel about the person you cannot stand the most?:he said son, have you seen the world ? (hero of war • Rise Against)

The best date ever, in your book, would consist of…: I questioned my fate, wasn’t sure about my place (One • Lovex)

If you sent a random Hallmark card to a friend, you would write to them: Get it, text message I don’t know the number (Praise the lord • A$AP Rocky) [XDDD]

If you had the chance to speak to (a) God, what would you say?: J’ai longtemps parcouru son corps, effleuré cent fois son visage, j’ai trouvé de l’or et même quelques étoiles en essuyant ses larmes (dernière danse • Kyo) [ahhh.. it means “I’ve glanced at her for a long time, stroked her face hundreds of times, I found gold and even a few stars while wiping away her tears”. isn’t it beautiful? Also the title means “last dance”.]

Finish the sentence: “When the going gets tough…”: put your lighter in the air and lead me back home (break in • Halestorm) [yeah]

How do you deal with your stress?: I still see your shadows in my room (Lucid Dreams• Kid Travis (Juic wrld cover)) [:x]

What is your biggest burden in life?: at the 50 yard line, I saw her feet (Stacy • Quinn XCII) [XDDD]

What’s the coolest thing about your best friend?: On the ground I lay, motionless in pain (time of dying • Three Days Grace) [coolest thing, right?]

Why do you love the one you do?: Do you think about me ? Cause I don’t have any doubt you must (Never There • Sum41)

If a friend broke their arm and got a cast, what would you write on it?: Yeah, I come alive, I’ll survive, take on anything (Bow Down • I Prevail) [nice one xD]

You see a stick and wet cement. What do you write?: You're probably having the same conversations with your friends, that i always have with mine (sorry • tea)

A guy just stole your (purse, car, etc)! What do you yell at him?: When you’re alone, do you think of me ? (Oh well, oh well• Mayday Parade) [XDDD]

You pass a crack addict on the corner one day. Solemnly he tells you:  “baby get down on your knees” I said  “babe if you insist” (Her lies • Asaf Avidan) [HAHAHA WHAT. that’s the best one xD]

What will your baby’s first words be?:   White Stones, Queens 1974

Fathers talking shit, motherfucker slam the door (1998 • Rancid) [I’m dying oh god xddd]

You are at your wit’s end, and decide to write a suicide note. It begins: What happens to a man when he spills his heart on a page, and he watches words float away then, his feelings lie over a page alone., There waiting for someone who cares to read them., to open there eyes to see them. to see if they can make his thoughts their own. (Pages • 3 Doors Down) [well it matches perfectly but it’s actually really sad]

Why can’t there be peace in the world?: All of us believe that this is not up to you. The fact of the matter is that it's up to me (No Reason • Sum41) [I’m sorry guys it’s all my fault!]

How do you think people see you?: I lie here restless like lines for a guest list, waiting for your message, (U&Us • Quinn XCII) [that might be because I ignore almost everyone :D]

Inside, though, what kind of person are you really?: Hey there shadow (Millennia (acoustic) • Crown The Empire) [thanks :c]

If you wanted to comfort a friend, you’d say: Once upon a time you dressed so fine (Like a rolling stone • Bob Dylan) [I’m sure it would help them a lot hahaha]

When you want to cheer someone up, you say: evening rises,

darkness threatens to engulf us all (The Labyrinth’s song. • Asaf Avidan) [are you kidding me?! XDD]

You’re unbelievably depressed because your friend just told you…: She said I don’t spend time like I really should (Erase me • Kid Cudi) [like I would give a fuck lmao]

When you are incredibly bored, you start thinking about…?: She speaks to me in Persian, tells me that she loves me, the girl with golden eyes (The girl with golden eyes • Sixx.A.M) [no I do not think about drugs when I’m bored dw]

You’re a classy person, so instead of cursing when you’re mad, you yell…?: If you could only read my mind, you would know that things between us ain't right (Want you bad • The Offsprings)  [hey that’s not bad!]

you’re writing a love letter, but what are you going to begin it with?: Frozen in time, when the world is moving at the speed of light, trapped inside these walls, you can't rise until you fall and start to trust your heart over your mind (The Leap• Our Last Night) [that would be a good one tbh]

If you were to write a letter to the President of the USA, it would say…?: I'm sick of losing out on life's bets (Cheers to the down and outs• The Bad Chapter)

What would someone have to tell you to make you really angry?: What happened to you  (Over my head • Sum41) [no not rly D]

…To make you really depressed?:   I've been fighting the same Old war

Against a disease without a cure (Same old war • Our last Night) [damn yes..]

...To make you sexually aroused?: You can't feel the heat until you hold your hand over the flame (Satellite • Rise Against) [XDDDD WHAT]

Your first thoughts waking up were…: Allez parlons encore, encore ce soir (la lune à 3h du mat’ • Maxenss)   [it means “let’s talk again, again tonight”. and the title: “the moon at 3am”]

Your last words before falling asleep will be…: Don't give up, it takes a while, I have seen this look before, and it's alright, you're not alone (Accidents can happen • Sim.A.M) [great song to listen to when you feel like your life is fucking shit btw]

[trickstersantana]

[Para] Vertedero de ilusiones

Who: Santana Location:  Santana’s mind, Sciron Square 207 Time: 24 October 2018 Summary: Santana sleeps next to Quinn and something UNEXPECTED happens no one knew this was going to happend guys no one. Triggers/Notes: Ok GUYS there are so parts in spanish so hover for the translation. Thanks to @gotmattitude​ for checking it’s proper mexican sounding spanish instead of spain sounding spanish bless u. TW: Violence, blood, dead, animal harm, dead animal

Santana has always been the Mistress of her own dreams. The Goddess of Lucid Dreams. She has her ways of knowing what’s a dream and what’s not. She just checked the time and battery of her phone and it’s not there. She illusions a book and checks the writing shifts around the page, blurry around the corners.

A dream she can’t control, shaped like a dream.

“Queenie, I’m trapped on a trickster deal. I can’t hear you or anything. Make me a favor and try to not let me go out of my room.” She says out loud, looking at a discolored door of an old red car in front of her. She assumed if she tried to open the door of the car, she would just get out of her room and do weird shit in front of people.  She looks where the car is headed upon, a huge downhill, like a huge ass slide for cars who finished on a sea of spikes. But above the sea of spikes there was a giant ring of blue fire, and then a huge open door written EXIT HERE above. So you are trying to tell me that for ‘exiting’ I have to get in the car, go super fast for the slide so it jumps through the circle of fire and gets in the door. God damn it that’s so fucking extra. Who designed this bullshit. Like, she loved it as much as she knew it was super over the top, but she wasn’t going to fall for that crap.

She looked around, searching for clues or the style of the illusion, to know who did this. At first glance it looked like a dump full of...things. But it wasn’t garbage. It was just disorganized illusions. An illusion dump. She could recognize most of those things where stuff she illusioned. There was a lot of blue fire around, spears and other weapons. The scene was a mix of her past illusions too, overlapping on each other, sky included, being day or night or completely white in some parts. There was no people, animals or monster around. Geez, I know deals can leave something to the imagination of the creator, but this is too much, too specifically me. I can see shit from before NYADA that anyone who wasn’t my ‘family’ won’t know, and shit from NYADA my ‘family’ couldn’t possibly know with so many detail. Maybe they reached High Level Trickster power. God I bet it’s Darling. Darling, also know as her ‘mom’, just got her fucking Hamlet book. She probably was mendling in her life over that. God, what if the Hamlet book had the keys to do this level on illusion but I didn’t read that part yet because I was reading the other parts? That book had a lot on info on it, but she wanted even more information on it before reading it all. And now, she didn’t have access to it. What if the exit is actually the exit but Darling knew I wouldn’t go for such an obvious exit? what if THAT’S WHAT SHE WANTS ME TO THINK? Oh, maybe it’s a Darling and Zombie collab. Then it should be a solvable puzzle.

“Nah, fuck it. I’m just going to lay in the floor and binge watch illusion Xena while waiting 24 hours until this pass.” She said out loud for Quinn to hear, and lied on the floor, carefully, and illusioned a TV floating in the air, for her to see.

Many episode later, Santana stands up. “What the fuck? Where am I? Why am I watching Xena?” She groans. She saw the clear exit trap and ignored it, trying to search in illusion world, walking far away from the car. “Geez there is so much garbage in here” She says, kicking some huge chainsaw (the part that doesn’t cut, obviously). She keeps on walking until she ends up seeing a wishing well. She doesn’t remember illusioning this particular wishing well, so she runs too look at it. She looks down the well, in search of clues in the bottom of it. There is something that looks like the corpse of a woman. “Ew.” Santana said. “What the fuck. Creepy.” She keep looking, though. There was what looked like if you skinned a human alive and left it there like a fucked up costume. When she tried to look what the other things in there were, the corpse started to move. Crawling through the well. As Santana stepped down searching for a weapon, the corpse was already out the well. Long black hair, a weird decorated knife stuck on a side of her abdomen, full of blood. “¡Hola, Capi Tana!The corpse says, cheerfully, taking the knife out and throwing it away. “Ya tiene mucho tiempo que ni me llamas ni nada.” She says, fake pouting. Santana recognized the woman in front of her. Someone she didn’t see on a long time. 

“Fuck. Elise.”

“But also fuck Elise ¿no?” Elise said, playfully winking. “Pero ya sabes, cogiendo. Sin stabity stab.”

Santana sighs. This wasn’t real, so whatever. “Geez, are you trying to teach me a lesson?”

“Why are you talking in english? El español se siente más personal.” Elise said, no blood on her anymore. “Oooh, es precisamente por eso.” Elise realizes. “¿Y cómo que Elise? ¿Qué pasa con tus millones de apodos?”        

Santana sits on the well, looking down again. Maybe if she threw more things on it, it would be full. Then her wish comes true, right? Was that how wishing wells worked? She keeps thinking, touching her hair, straight and long. Wait, shouldn’t be an afro? I don’t have my hair like this anymore. “Elise am I looking like I always look to you?”

“Igualita.” It shouldn’t be like this. She should look different to Elise, right? She just took that stupid human potion like last week. Last week? Or months ago? Santana walks away from the well, stepping over guns and big lamps and cars and catapults. Elise follows her.

“I wasn’t planning to kill you.” She said, while walking. Not even looking at Elise’s direction.

“No. Teníamos un plan buenísimo para tu quedarte con uno de mis riñones sin matarme. En plan, me apuñalas, lo tomas, haces tu ritual y ¡boom! Adiós problemas. Ya eres humana. ”

“Alright. It was a shit plan! It would had probably kill you. But I was hoping it didn’t!!” She admits. She didn’t like to even think about this. But it was time. “Like, I was hoping as you trusted me, and I kind-of-trusted you, that in the moment I tried to stab you it’s like, test passed!! A light will appear and I will become human, no actual stabbing necessary you know? A la binding of Isaac.” She didn’t like to think about this because she knew it was fucking ridiculous. “But then I was like...well. You know, I thought you were a slayer, you said some...really weird shit suddenly and…” She steps on a big box that she doesn’t recognize. She opens it to find some nice decorated knives. “Alright, to be honest, deep down, I was hoping me freaking out and blowing the whole thing was the tiny part of me who… didn’t want to hurt you, in case I wasn’t stopped by magic, I rather stop myself and lie to myself too saying it was because I got paranoid.” She looked at the knives in the box, some knives had so many decorations, even in the blade, it would be super hard to cut anything with them. Like they had pins, if knives could have pins. She will have to cut the decorations on it too and it didn’t seem easy. She picked the most decorated ones, one raspberry pink, gentleman-thief like knife,with handcuffs, letters, hearts, and a lot of more shit Santana didn’t stop to look, and another porpoise grey shadow push knife, with handshakes, socks, and more shit. She didn’t usually like grey, but she liked this specific grey. 

“But that’s not what really happened.” She left the decorated knives in the box, and picket other, merigold yellow handle, simple. No decorations, just a cat draw in the blade, but as soon as she picks it up, it turns into ashes. What a shame, it was a decent knife. It had to be sharpened more but it looked like it could be used. Gone. Unused. “I didn’t stop myself. Someone else stopped me. Someone called the Cardines. Someone… God. Someone made me...ugh” No. she wasn’t going to say it. She was just looking at knives now. She picks a dark plum purple with a gothic handle, and one light blue and taffy pink that opened like a lipstick, with a heel shoe in the blade. Both broken by the handle. Useless. But there is a simple one, with a little full moon carved on the blade, and a wolf on the end of the handle. Sharpened. Usable. She was going to carry this one. She sees there is a gap for a knife that isn’t there anymore. “Elise, was this your kni- oh FUCK!” She turns around but Elise isn’t there anymore. There is that old bastard man with his sunglasses on. “Ugh. ‘Dad’. Where is Elis-where is the… there was a girl here before.”

“Estamos aquí solos, Niebla, no tienes que hablar en inglés.” Her ‘dad’ says, with his annoying grin like he is planning something, and everything goes as he plans. She know it’s fake.

“Look, dad, I’m almost going to be an adult soon and I’m going to do whatever the fuck I wa- wait, no. I’m an adult.” She wasn’t 17. She was older. But she looks 17. “Fuck. I’m older than 17 and I’m still a fucking animal. I just have 3 years left. No, I have more years.” More years suffering. She stands up, confused at where the fuck she is. There is full of things that feels familiar but she just feels in the middle of nowhere. She runs. Somewhere.

“¿Dónde vas?” Her ‘dad’ asks, and she can hear him walking slowly behind her. She wasn’t going to wait for him.

“I’m fucking going backwards in the middle of nowhere. Fuck!”

“You never did a good thing in your life, and the world would be a better place without you.”

She steps on something and falls, she hears the sound of a recorded voice and tries to find where it comes from. She stands up and walk around, but she just hears more voices instead.

“You think everything is funny, and you answer me with irony just because you don't have anything real to say. I believed in you, I thought you were really trying to change things around.”

“Oh, shut up. Where does this come from?”  

“I wouldn't have to fight you. I already know that I've won the most important part of living. And if you don't know what it is, well -- it shows.” Another voice. “You created the situation that caused you to be the victim!” She knew all of these different voices. “Who is doing this? Ugh, it doesn’t matter, I don’t give a single shit of what anyone dares to say about me!”“Do you feel that way too? Do you think you are just some kind of animal?”

But the recorded voices continued. “If you are what you are, and you are a trickster spirit, why do you never present as an animal? You are one, aren’t you. An animal.”

“You’re lucky some even refer to you as people, instead of Lusus.” She was getting annoyed. “But one day you´re going to realize that you´ll need friends by your side to back you up, and it´ll be sad when you turn around and realize there´s no one there.” She hears slow footsteps behind, clashing with the sound of stepping over metal. “I know what your most afraid of is never getting to be a real life girl ain’t it? Spoiler alert: You won’t. Ever.”

His ‘father’ gets closer to her, laughing. “Ugh, you’re the worst!” Santana says, pointing at him with her knife.

“You're seriously the worst trickster ever. Any trickster who scorns their birth is owned by humans. Go away, nothing.”

“I can’t be the worst if you are.” Her ‘dad’ answers.

“Your life is a series of seemingly unconnected episodes of deception for deception’s sake. In the end, your existence will be of no consequence.” Santana keeps searching where the record comes from. “I’m done bothering to try explaining anything to you.”She localizes the place where she hears it best. “It is not my fault that you got caught by the Cardines, Santana. Maybe the fact that you got caught means that you aren't as good as you think you are and do need to be here.” It’s buried behind a lot of illusory crap. Mostly weapons. “I don’t call you by your animal species, do I?” She starts to unbury and search. “Humans are capable of remorse. Do you feel remorse, Santana?” Her dad keeps laughing. “Remorse, you?” Like it was the funniest joke. “Evil for the sake of being evil. That's how I see a real monster to be.” A monster isn’t so bad, then. “You can sit there, and talk a big game about how my relationship is fake and all my friends are gone, and my parents don’t love me, but at the end of the day, Santana, I have my fake girlfriend and my cryptic parents and my fake friends, and you have nothing, and no one. Because you can’t. Ever. Not really. Not like the rest of us.” She keeps caving. “You’re following illogical sense. A fire witch isn’t a chimney. Just like your human form isn’t really a human body.” She sees an old tape recorder. “You are so full of shit. I find it funny that you are trying to be sarcastic with me right now when I'm actually one of the few who actually is trying to understand you around here.” She picks it up. “We wouldn't have been faced with the obligation to kick someone out if you hadn't acted the way you did.” And throws it to the ground. She steps on it, again and again.

“I'm sorry, Santana, but either way, you are still you, that's not gonna chang-” It’s the last thing the tape recorder says before being completely broken. She is satisfied. “I’m not even going to think about this ever again.” She says, while burying the old broken tape recorder back, putting even more things she founds around on top of it. But as she tries to bury something, she is getting things that weren’t on surface before. She isn’t looking what she picks, and sees she has in hand a dead rabbit. She throws it to the ground. It looks like a car hit it. “Ew ew ew ew” She complains, trying to clean her hands on her ‘dad’ shirt. “¡Mira!” Her dad laughs ”El conejo muerto que nos encontramos un día en la carretera y te dije, te dijee... que así estaríamos cuando nos muramos. Un animal muerto más, la gente nos mirará un segundo con cara de pena y luego seguirán con sus vidas sin volver a pensar en nosotros.” He says, like remembering a fond ‘father-daughter’ moment.

“Yeah, one of your depressive days when you don’t stop saying sad bullshit.” Where he complains about everything that also affects them all. She picks some joke t-shirt she founds on and hides the death rabbit with it. She tried to hide it with more things, but she will just find more creepy shit she didn’t want to find. So she just left the place, walking away, not knowing where she is going. She hears the sound of recorded voices.

“-the mighty and proud Santana Lopez.”

“Ugh, again?” She gets close to where the sounds come from, to destroy it too.

“I talk to you about shit because I want to. You’re a good friend, y'know” A voice she knows says.

“However what I've learned from all of our adventures, discussions, and friendship together is that when it comes to something important and serious, we have each other's backs and each other's stories.” She is getting closer. “You’re nice too, hah. Very surprisingly. More than that I guess if I had to be forced to compliment you by some sort of curse, I like that you’re real.” This one is not in the surface either. “Suffice it to say I know you care more than you let on. About us, about me. Don't go.” She tries to unbury it. “I have time for the people that matter.” She hears footsteps behind, over the sound of the recorder. “Santana you are a cool friend.” She keeps unburying. “I thought that mirror monster was beautiful and honest.” It’s buried deeper down than the other. “You aren't a condition that needs fixing. You've already proven to be fiercely loyal and a keeper of secrets without the aura potion. You’re super sweet when you’re nice, anyway. And same on the mutual respect thing. You’re my trusted friend.” She notices those phrases weren’t said at the same time, even when it was by the same person. But the order didn’t matter. “What do I think you are? You are my friend, and I love you and I care about you. There are things I'm afraid of, there are things that affect me more than others, but that's not a judgment towards you. Those are things I have to work out myself.” She is getting closer. “You challenge me, which I appreciate.” She sees the recorder. “They care about you, too. We might not die, but we'll be sad. We'll miss you. More so if you go off and get yourself killed.” She keeps staring at it, in silence. “We can be so much more than that. We shouldn't have to be just ‘monsters’ or not even that just a label that they want to put on us.” She takes the recorder with her. “Thanks for this, inviting me over. Not being weird. I've missed you.” Still knife in hand. “She told me that she thought I was always thoughtful, even though I thought you were a monster. Santana, I don't believe that you are anymore. You've shown me there is more to you than tricks and illusions.” She gets out of the hole where the recorder was buried in. “However I don't want to leave you behind if that's what turning my back means.”

She throws it to the ground. And stabs it with the kife. “Shut up shut up shut up shut up!” She shouts, crying, still stabbing the recorder. “Shut up! This just makes me feel worse! Shut up! I would leave everyone of you behind. I’m just tricks and illusions. I was using you! Monster is the highest status I can fucking reach!” She keeps stabbing the recorder even when it stopped working already. “No one will miss me. Shut up! I thought I wanted this, but the more they care, the more far away I fucking feel. The closer they are, the easiest is to notice there is nothing here.” She grabs her own tshirt and keeps crying. “I fucking hate it... I can’t… I can’t pretend anymore to be a person. People are telling me they care about me? And I fucking feel so empty when they do.” Someone sits next to her.

“¿Que hay debajo de toda esta basura, niña?” Her mom asks.

“Nothing! There’s nothing!” She feels so little. She looks up to her mom and she is not even going to use the quotation marks.  “Mom, help me! When is this over? When do I start enjoying life?”

“¿Por qué estás aqui?”

“I don’t need a fucking reason to be here, in the world! What? I don’t have to contribute ANYTHING to a world that only give me pain! Fucking answer me! I’m just like 10 and I’m already so fucking tired of everything” No. She is not 10. She looks like a 10 year old but she is 24. “No, no, no, fuck. 14 years more of this? When am I going to become human, mom? Mom, please, I just want to enjoy life and I can’t as a trickster!”

“¿Tienes miedo? ¿De que tampoco podrás como humana?” Her mom asks. Santana blinks and she is alone again. She keeps crying. “It’s ok, it’s ok. Soon I will be human and happy.” She never was, but she could be. Right? “And I will connect with my friends for real, and I will care for real. I will be real.” She stands up, and walks alone, trying to remember the way back to where she was at the start. She is going back in age too. She is getting younger and younger. “Oh, no.” She will reach the moment when she couldn’t even turn into a human. She sees herself as the unglamoured kid, hidding her monstrous features under gloves, coats, hat and sunglasses. “No no no no.” She runs, she runs until she sees the red car. “I can’t end as I started! Without accomplishing anything!” She stops running when she reaches the car, she tries to open the door. It’s locked. “I don’t want to die as an animal! What was all the effort I did for? Nothing?” She keeps crying, desperately trying to open the door. If she was older, she could had open it. She knew how to unlock cars locks when she was older. She didn’t knew it now. “No! Help me!” The little girl  uses the knife in her hand to try to open the car, as if stabbing the lock would work.

“Someone! Anyone! Please!”

[yourockthebeatofmyheart]

Stupid With Love

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender Rating: K+ Word count: 2,329 (with “epilogue”) Characters/pairings: Shallura, Matt (only mentioned but still an important part of the story), Lance, Pidge, Keith, Hunk Summary: Okay but consider: “we’re best friends and I went with you to the hospital to support you during your surgery but when you woke up afterward you were still whacked out on anesthesia and you thought we were dating” AU

Allura would do anything for Shiro. As one of his Two Best Friends (Matt’s words, not hers), she felt it was her duty. So when he approached both of them to let them know he was having some minor surgery done in a few weeks and he would need a ride, she was happy to assist.

(Matt claimed he had a prior engagement that he couldn’t get out of, but something about the way he said it made Allura think he had something else in mind. He always had some ridiculous plan, however unsuccessful, to get the two of them together. It might have been endearing if it didn’t wear on her nerves so much.)

Two weeks later, on the day of Shiro’s surgery, Allura drove him to the hospital and sat patiently with him in his assigned room, talking with him about whatever mundane topics she could think of to keep him from stressing out. When the doctor came in to bring him to the operating room, they shared one last quick exchange (“You’ll be here when I get back?” he’d asked. “I’ll be the first person you see,” she’d promised.) before he was gone.

A few hours went by, during which she passed the time checking her phone or reading a book, until finally, Shiro returned. As the doctor left the room, Allura made sure to text Keith, Shiro’s younger brother, to let him know Shiro was out of surgery. He’d likely just gotten out of class and might want to stop by for a visit. Sure enough, he replied a few minutes later to let her know he was on his way.

Allura locked her phone and breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back in her chair. She would never admit it, but she’d actually been a little worried about today. Of course, he’d probably been much more anxious than her (although she doubted he would ever say as much either), and it was just a brief procedure, but… Shiro was a dear friend, and he meant the world to her, and if anything were to change that…

She didn’t know how long she’d been lost in her thoughts, but they were suddenly interrupted when the door creaked open. She rose to her feet to see Keith standing in the doorway. “There you are,” she smiled, stealing a glance at her phone. It had been nearly thirty minutes since she’d texted him. “What took you so long?”

Keith opened his mouth to respond when he was pushed aside by three other people entering the room. “Is he up yet? Did I miss anything?” his friend Lance asked loudly. Hunk followed after him, looking mildly amused. Last, and quietest, to enter was Pidge, who also happened to be Matt’s little sister.

Allura’s eyes widened at the crowd filling up the room, and she gave Keith a look of utter betrayal.

“…I tried to talk them out of it,” was all he said in a defeated tone.

Allura heaved a resigned sigh. Then she turned on her heel to face Lance —who seemed downright giddy at the idea of seeing Shiro’s reaction to anesthesia— pointed an index finger in his face, and said, with grave seriousness, “Listen to me. Shiro has been stressing about this all week. He’s going to be disoriented enough as it is when he wakes up. If you say anything to upset him, you are out of here. Do you understand me?”

Lance’s grin shrunk just a little and he nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

“So how’d it go?” Hunk asked, taking a seat on the other side of the room.

Allura silently thanked him for being so much more polite in this situation than Lance. “His doctor said everything went fine, and he should be fully recovered in a few days,” she answered as she went back to her own chair beside Shiro.

Pidge carefully leaned against the wall between Hunk and Keith. “Well, that’s good.”

“What was the surgery for, anyway?” asked Lance.

Before Allura could answer, a groggy voice to her left exclaimed, “Heeeeeyyy, everybody’s here!”

She instinctively jumped at the sound before turning to face her friend in his bed. “Shiro!” she smiled.

Keith pushed himself away from the wall and stepped forward. “How you feeling?” he asked.

Shiro didn’t answer for a few seconds. He blinked very slowly before coming up with a reply of, “…I don’t know.” Lance snickered in the corner, fumbling to take out his phone as though he couldn’t do it fast enough. “Hey, what happened?” Shiro went on, letting his head fall to one side so he was looking at Allura.

She gently touched his shoulder and reminded him, “You just got out of surgery.”

He tilted his head. “Have you been here the whole time?”

Allura nodded, trying her best to ignore Lance cursing off to the side that his phone had no room to take a video. (“How many pictures of the sunset do you need?” Pidge asked.)

Shiro let out an exaggerated sigh and gave Allura a soft, unfamiliar look. “You’re so good to me, babe.”

The room went alarmingly quiet.

Wha…

What did he just say?

Allura giggled in an attempt to hide her sudden discomfort. She’d likely just misheard him— he was delirious, he probably didn’t even know what he was saying.

Then Shiro reached for her hand. “I am ssso lucky to have a girlfriend like you,” he slurred.

Allura’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god,” wheezed Lance.

“U-um…” Allura tried to clear her throat. “Shiro, we’re… I’m not—“

She felt a hand on her shoulder. “Ah-ah-ah,” Lance cut in. “You don’t want to upset him.” Allura’s face felt hot. She would have liked nothing more at that moment than to smack that smug look off his face. (She could, too, and everyone in the room knew it.)

“Lance, c’mon,” urged Hunk, pulling his friend back.

“Yeah, back off!” Shiro added, which she would have appreciated literally any other time than this. “We’re on a date!”

“Shiro,” Keith spoke up. Allura could tell he was trying not to laugh, but she knew he meant well, which was more than she could say for a certain Cuban boy in the room. Keith went on, “You’re in the hospital.”

At this, Shiro did a double-take. Or, he got as close as he could for how spaced out he was. “Oh my god, what happened?!” he asked again, looking shocked.

Allura’s heartbeat quickened, and she shrugged Lance’s hand away. “N-nothing,” she stammered, heading for the door. “Excuse me.”

The room fell silent again as she left— that same humiliating, record-scratch type of silence as before. She leaned on the door as it closed and let out a shaky breath.

———

Pidge found her in the bathroom a few minutes later.

She took a quick peek at the bottoms of the stalls to make sure they were all empty as she approached Allura at the farthest sink from the door. “You okay?” she asked gently.

Allura nodded, taking a breath to compose herself. “Sorry for rushing out.”

Pidge shrugged. “If it makes you feel any better, he didn’t seem to notice.”

Honestly, it did make her feel just a little better to know that. Allura sighed softly. “How is he?”

“Well,” Pidge replied, “Hunk told him you guys aren’t actually dating and he started laughing like a maniac, so… I think he’ll be alright.”

Allura let out a small laugh. At least he wasn’t hurt by that shocking revelation.

“…Do you like him?”

Allura’s whole body tensed up, though she would have been lying if she said she hadn’t expected that question. She avoided Pidge’s curious gaze for as long as she could, but eventually that made her just as uncomfortable, so she finally gave a strained reply of, “…Maybe.” Almost immediately, she threw her head back and groaned. “But he’s my best friend! I don’t want to ruin that.”

For a moment, Pidge was quiet. Then she took a deep breath and, against her better judgement, told Allura, “Look, I’ve known Shiro since he and Matt were in tenth grade. He wouldn’t say something he didn’t mean just to see how someone would react.” Then, as a brief aside: “Even if he is out of his mind on painkillers.” Allura chuckled. Pidge went on, “Maybe you should just tell him and… see what happens. Once he’s lucid, anyway.” Again, the two of them were silent. A few seconds passed before Pidge shook her head dismissively. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything—“

“No,” Allura cut her off. “You’re right… Thank you, Pidge.” She gave a warm smile, and her friend’s sister sheepishly looked away. With a subtle sense of confidence, Allura put a hand on Pidge’s shoulder. “Let’s go back. I promised I’d be there for him, after all.”

———

When they returned to his room, Shiro was out cold.

“Is he okay?” Allura asked worriedly.

Hunk shrugged. “Yeah. I think he passed out from laughing too hard.”

In the corner, Lance broke off his conversation with Keith and walked up to Allura. “You got a second?” he asked. She gave a cautious nod, silently warning him to watch himself. Fortunately, he followed up with an earnest, “Sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

She smiled, relieved. “I know,” she assured him. “You only meant to embarrass Shiro.”

Lance smirked in reply, “I knew you’d understand,” which earned him a good-natured eyeroll from Allura.

Keith stepped forward, pocketing his phone. “Guys, we should head out,” he told his friends.

“Aw, come on!” Lance pouted, gesturing to Shiro. “What if he says something amazing?” Keith’s response was simply to grab the hood of Lance’s jacket and pull him toward the door. “You’ll keep me updated, right?” he asked Allura.

She stared at him in silence until he and Keith were in the hallway.

“…Is that a maybe?”

Hunk trailed after them, throwing her a quick wave as he left. When Pidge started to walk past, Allura put a hand on her shoulder. She gave the younger girl a smile and said sweetly, “Tell your brother to start running.”

Pidge grinned back, “Gladly,” before she made her way out.

The door clicked shut behind the four of them. Allura closed her eyes, letting herself get accustomed to the quiet once more, and exhaled contentedly. She moved back to sit beside Shiro again, propping up an elbow on her leg and resting her chin in her hand as she looked over at him. Without realizing it, she smiled affectionately— unconscious or not, it was the calmest she’d seen him in weeks. Maybe those drugs were good for something after all.

She chuckled at the thought, her gaze slowly falling to the floor.

“Maybe you should just tell him and… see what happens.”

She knew Pidge was right. Shiro was a good person: even if he didn’t return her feelings, Allura doubted that it would actually ruin their friendship… Still… the idea of doing so was more than a little frightening to her…

Again, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, giving an affirming nod for good measure. She would tell him— when the moment was right.

And she was absolutely not going to let Matt know.

She looked back at Shiro, and as if on cue, he woke up, almost immediately making eye contact with her. “You’re still here,” he smiled. He seemed a bit less disoriented than earlier, but definitely still not all there. (Needless to say, not the right moment.)

Allura returned his fond look. “Just like I said,” she reminded him.

Shiro slowly scanned the room. “Did everyone else leave?” Allura nodded. “Good,” he sighed. “They were cramping my style.”

Allura stifled a laugh. Maybe he was a little more disoriented than she thought. “Is that right?”

Shiro seemed to take offense at her reaction. “Why are you laughing at me? I just lost an arm!”

Okay, now he had to be messing with her. “Are you sure?” she asked, surprising herself with how reasonable she sounded.

With a curious look on his face, Shiro glanced down at his right arm and seemed to nearly jump out of bed when he saw it. “Oh my god!” he exclaimed, turning his hand over in awe. “They put my arm back on?!”

Allura was starting to realize why Lance had been so excited to visit. “The miracle of modern medicine,” she shrugged.

Shiro tilted his head back and exhaled loudly in amazement, “Wait until my girlfriend hears about this.” Allura barely had time to think, Does he still mean me?, before his eyes landed on her once more. “Oh, hey!” he beamed. “There you are!”

For a moment, Allura froze, considering her next move. But just as quickly, she smiled and took his hand in hers. “Here I am.”

[mysteriouslykawiicreator]

God teaching created God how to be Good

Lovely Americans

I am Aware Of Being

Notes

IlIvo

Following me sound

AaFfTtEeRr

Holy Night Bible Class

Very Rare Notforlong

As a Casey Selah

Dear God I'm glad of You

KCOSMIC Jesus

So Casey

Yes Allah

How should we punctuate these

This way is fine

I love the Lord much so much that I am good

here is be Heaven

We have barely begun

There

Now

Brahma

Look and the world made

a Cphere

Akasha itCasey can you see how our names look alike was question?is answer

I wonder how the story is doing quite lovely

How is Heaven apparently Jesus Casey Jesus Casey

You proved that me is You

So anyways next hope is true poetry

I can be as purely as God is

So Tumblr is like ITube Facebook is Languages are wondering about American Allah what about Us I like Akasha Jesus Christ Casey James Darling Yahweh Yeshua John Jacob Jingle Jangle Jungle Jongle look Jonglelookslikeoneandgooglesome yeah but wiggles

Cloopforever Kloopalways GooD is Allah

Yahweh is so God omg or Jehovah well what about that Book of Life Jesus is supposed to talk about He lives the Book of Life too look

I think he just taught that the H is a representation as a bridge between worlds

Then if boys can become girls

Then the key is choice

Options selections things like that

Aaron ICasey put your name there because

You said wormhole is your business

Though So we

AaFfTtEeRr

Ilikesymmetrytoo it is a sign of Heaven

Youshouldtaglessandthinkofmoreideas or

Truthisyouknowhowtomakekarmicunfolds

Symmetry Marijuana is a life giving plant

For others it is Grapes

The stipulations are superior to conditions

The truth is undeniable

Ok so I can keep gaining descriptive explanation

I'm on 12:31 laughter boss

Look

This

Is. Heaven was that was We

Ok Caseywecan IknowKnew

I am good too

Uralso

What do you think this will come to be

Heaven hopefully is lovely<wiggles>

I'm sure that its gonna be Heavely what? Hell

Jokes humor is good love

Is this hell or heaven

They are not places they are states

What I'm wondering

Of mind what is "lol" to God binary?

Funny guy its laugh out loud for binary

Notes I like hilarious it's pretty good to be

Thank You God or Thanks be to me CLASS

Om or Thank You me OR Selah or Prettypleasemorepraise as delightful

He is pretty sure it wouldn't misinterpreted

As he didn't write the FU story he wrote the

Look it's back to the

So like I think its that the loop is the sum of life

28 years-10,000 years since death (I did this whole at least most of it at 7th MARCH thing at almost 29 March 6th-7th 2021) I'm wrong about death mostly I think it was the beginningish of life for me as a You and then I went home and cried at dinner I didn't comprehend what was going on

All the kingdoms of the world (is what I had seen)

You already worship if you enjoy living (celebrate praise synonym =) look a wow

world of God G spelled with w doubleve dubbblvv uu tripple u word of word something

Dad wth are you doing with the King Arthur Bible oh Heavenly Father I adore thee is that ok Mr. Stephen but call no one, Earth and Father and Arthur and no one Is Stephen Arthur is my Dad look there it is sole. Wow look what notes did solesoulsoleish Selah from SonSumSun1and2

The Buddy Doll is witchcraft! Or those but I remember the smell of leaves

But the sounds like hearing themselves and once in a while a soul spacebar English (US)

Good will be heavenly bodies I'm sure

Devil is Boy Girl is Satan

I think though

Lucifer loves Satan

What now Hi Gods most favorite yes I know we are real I am peaceful

Dear Lucifer things will get amazing ik can I be Lucid when I'm done being myself -Casey

Like He is God how is my sight at

YaY we are Gods

yay-CaseyaCynthianKaitlynned

Heaven I watched Yahweh and the moon

Language English

Dont test sin and the ancient language won't become your primary

Entering the Universe and like wow

Oh yeah! I am c world

You saved us

Good news authors are real love is the truth

The wholly word is The wholly word is true

whole what world

Obviously

Charlie remember we know so much love erasers but fewer tags but it's all joy in friendship

Heaven there is something about revealed a form of time ends with patience but eternal

How can you be eternal this is why funny

Wormhole world now at You Eternally

This is purity I love you God

Though in All magic is allowed

The magical key is poetry and symmetry

Believe me I get the obvious too this will all be obvious now

[survivingthejungle]

today my friend invited me to go to a hypnotist show tomorrow and i thought to myself…….. wow. what a sign that i need to fuckin write this shit

im sorry it took me like 3580582343 months im literally the worst i know

also for the life of me, i can’t do rhymes. so im sorry about not including those. im the worst.

________________________________________________

You reminded him of his darling Alice, and that’s the only reason he had interacted with you in the first place.

He came to this city looking for her in the first place. Finding you was not planned, but it was a welcomed surprise.

You were working part time as a barista at a cafe to scrape up enough money to put yourself through school. You met during one of your shifts.

“Jervis?” you called out. He shut the book he was reading and hurried over to pick up the Earl Grey he had ordered. “I like your name,” you mentioned when he was closer. “It’s different.”

He softly smiled before responding. “Thank you. Mother always thought so too, I suppose that’s why she gave me that name in the first place.”

You glanced at the book he was holding in his hand. “Is that ‘To Kill a Mockingbird?’”

“Yes,” he grinned, “It’s one of my favorites. I think I’ve read it about 5,000 times now.”

“I love that book. Have you ever read ‘Fahrenheit 451?’”

He shook his head. “I’ve heard of it, but I have yet to read it.”

“It’s really great. Tell Adam at Border’s on 7th Street that (y/n) sent you, he’ll give you a discount.“

“You know the workers?” he asked.

“Oh my God, I’m down there all the time. I know like everybody who works there. I have a bad habit of blowing copious amounts of my pay on books. I probably need to chill.”

Just like Alice, he mused. Curious, observant, and ever the bookworm. “Nonsense.”

_________________

He was back the next day, hoping that you would be working again. When you weren’t, he showed up every single day until you finally showed up, a week later. “(y/n), oh my God. This dude has been lurking after you like… all week. He wears suits and shit and creeps you out when he talks, but he’s not really ugly… sound familiar?” asked one of your friends when you showed up that morning before your shift started.

“Girl I know exactly who you’re talking about. That’s… kinda weird. We talked a little bit but… he showed up every day? Oh my God. That makes me slightly uncomfortable. Thanks for telling me though.

And, sure enough, later that day, he showed up again. He looked absolutely elated to see you. ”(y/n)! Dear! It’s so good to see you again! I was beginning to worry, you know.“

You gave a polite smile. “Oh, yeah. I was sick for a few days, but I’m all good now. Can I get you anything?” you asked, subtly hinting that to you, your interactions were first and foremost professional. You were friendly by nature, but that by no means meant you were friends with everybody you talked to.

He ordered some variant of chamomile tea before asking you, “When do you get off work? If it’s alright by you, I’d like to see you outside the setting of this cafe.”

You were thrown off, and, justifiably, a little uncomfortable as well. “Uh… look,” you said, “Don’t take this the wrong way but, I’d rather not. I don’t really ‘meet up’ with people I’ve only met twice. You seem like a nice enough guy but… not right now.”

He seemed to take it well enough. “I absolutely understand. I overstepped my boundaries, my apologies,” he smiled.

“No worries.”

Looks like we have to do this the hard way, he thought to himself.

______________

He was waiting for you outside the back door of the cafe that led out into the alley behind the building. You weren’t expecting anyone to be there, waiting, so when you saw him you screamed, jumped back, and put a hand over your chest, gasping for air. “DUDE! YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME! WHAT THE FUCK?” you screamed.

“I know you must be surprised to see me, but I must ask you to calm down.” He held up a stopwatch in his hand. “Let me ask you something: do you hear the watch ticking?”

“Yeah, I-”

You were cut off. “Do you hear the way it’s synchronizing with your heartbeat?” You nodded and mumbled a ‘yeah’, the adrenaline slowly subsiding as you drifted farther into a trance. “I need you to look into my eyes. Not above them, not around them, but deep into their center.” He stepped closer to you. “When I count to three, you will be completely lucid and back to normal. But- when I come back for you, you will answer to the name Alice, and you and I will be together for eternity.” He was at the end of the alley when he counted to three and brought you back to normal.

Understandably, you were frightened beyond belief. He had been there, just a few seconds ago, brought out a stop watch, and then- gone. In the blink of an eye.

You needed a drink.

___________________________

You walked into the closest bar possible, sat down, and ordered 3 shots. It was one of those night. You must’ve been showing how troubled you were, because a girl working behind the bar placed her hand over yours as she asked you, “Are you alright? You seem upset. Do you need to talk to someone?” she offered.

You smiled gratefully. “That… would be really great. Thank you. I’m (y/n), nice to meet you.” You held out your hand for her to shake.

“Alice,” she grinned.

“That sounds… vaguely familiar,” you told her. “I’ve heard that name recently but… I can’t remember where…” you trailed off. “Anyways, my story.” And you continued to tell her all about the strange man who was pestering you at your job, how he had snuck up on you after work, and then disappeared into thin air.Alice was shocked, and a little bit terrified.

“Did… Did you catch his name?” she asked you warily, carefully picking up pieces of a broken glass a bar-goer broke on the counter.

“It was weird, it was like… ‘Jervis’ or something like that.”

She gasped and her hand slipped, cutting it on the glass and getting her blood all over the bar. “Oh no,” she said, “No, no, no… did any blood get on you?” she asked hurriedly.

“No, I’m fine, but… are you? Girl, you’re freaking out.”

She pulled out a lighter, poured a bottle of Jack Daniels over the broken and bloody shards, and lit it on fire. “We need to go. Now!” She rushed to The front door, beckoning you after her.

“What the hell?” But you ran after her anyways. Better to act now, and ask questions later. You both rushed down the street or about 6 blocks before turning the corner to what you assumed was her apartment building, and rushing up to her floor. You stopped and leaned over, rapidly hyperventilating and trying to catch your breath. “What. The hell. Just happened.”

“First thing’s first… the blood thing. I should tell you this right now, it’s… poisonous. If a person comes into contact with it, they… they go crazy. It’s terrifying, and it’s dangerous. That’s why I had to destroy the bar.” She looked up at you after bandaging her hand with a strip of gauze she got from her medicine cabinet. “Then, the other thing… That man you were talking about… I know him.”

“How?” you asked, “Who is he?”

“He’s… my brother. You need to understand this, he’s… a terrible, evil person. And now he’s got you…” she trailed off.

“What do you mean?”

“He pulled his watch on you. Whatever he said… He’ll come back for you. He wouldn’t go out of his way to control your mind otherwise. Trust me, I… I know what it’s like for him to be inside your head like that.” You placed your hand over her uninjured one.

“You know you can… talk to me, right? I know I haven’t known you longer than like three hours, but… I know you now. And I consider you a friend. And I look out for my friends.” She gave a weak smile.

“Thank you, it really… it means a lot. My brother, he… he used that trick on me a lot. Back before I ran away from him, he… he used to control me… It was to keep me with him, until… He used that control for other things, too, things… things a brother should never do. Not to his sister, especially.” Your heart broke for her, cried for her. That vile bastard, you thought. How dare he. She recollected herself. “And now… Now he’s got you, too. That is, if he can find you…” she trailed off, an idea beginning to form. You could see the wheels turning.

“What are you planning?” you asked her.

“You can hide with me. He hasn’t found me yet, and I won’t let him find you either. We’re friends, we’ll look out for each other,” she promised you.

___________________

You stayed at her apartment that night, sleeping in an extremely comfortable recliner chair and about three different blankets. Externally, you seemed to be at peace. But in your dreams, it was a different story. He plagued them that night.

“Dear, sweet (y/n), you know you can’t hide from me forever. You know I’ll find you, somehow. We can be happy,” and you swore you felt something brush your cheek just before you jumped out of your own skin and woke up in a cold sweat, adrenaline rushing. You couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night, terrified he’d walk through Alice’s front door the second you closed your eyes.

_____________________________

god DAMN that took me a long fujckin time to write ho my god im a mess. @gothamandchill girl im so sorry this was for u and i know i hardcore strayed from what you asked and i’m super sorry but i hope u still like it. I’m really bad at writing villains as anything other than villainy, hopefully u can forgive me for that and still enjoy this either way!!

@nellychick i just realized this as well, but i think this is more along the lines of what you were asking for

[eschapters]

Chapter 17: Breath of Cowardice

Alair’s eyes had shot open as his body jerked. He was still able to feel the stinging sensation on his arms and back. The haze around him was now clearing up and the temperature was now slowly turning back to normal. Alair now remembered that he was laying down in the same room.

Fabian backed away, nearing a corner as his body had tensed up, “H-How did you…?” He shook his head as his pupils had shrunk in size again, “P-Please don’t hurt me… D-Don’t take me away…!”

Once Alair had collected his thoughts and surroundings, he had tried to get up, but the pain had caused him to fall on his face. He tried again and was successful this time.

“I have no interest in doing any of that…” Alair had stated, his movements being shaky and unstable, “Don’t be scared, okay?”

Fabian had eyed Alair wearily as Alair tried to approach him. The moment Alair had reached a two foot radius, Fabian had started to screech for his life.

Alair had swiftly put his hands to his ears as he felt the wind bash him again like what had happened to his brother. He could feel that he was about to fall once more.

“I REALLY DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU, OKAY?! OTHERWISE, I WOULD’VE KILLED THAT ELDER AT THE ENTRANCE!”

At once, Fabian’s screeching had came to a stop. He took in a few breaths before speaking, “…E-Elder…? Y-You mean m-mama…?”

“…M-Mom?” Alair had almost repeated yet another word, “Was that who she was…?”

Fabian had shakingly nodded, “E-Everyone mistakens her for an elder… B-But that’s probably because that’s how I see her in the future…” He started to fumble his fingers, “S-She used to… W-Watch over me… A lot…” he sighed slowly, “…B-But… I-I like to imagine her being around… Nnnow that she’s…”

Alair had noticed that Fabian’s pupils were starting to shrink again. He stepped forward, placing a hand om his shoulder, “…H-Hey, it’s okay… I know, I know… You’re going to be okay.”

As he spoke, Alair was now able to feel the knife of regret slowly sink into his midsection. He smiled, just for the shorter male.

“I-I’m sorry I tried to kill you…” Fabian’s body had started to quiver, “I-I… a-always assume too much… And now it sssort of……”

Where Alair had taken damage from the creature was where he was still able to feel pain. He tried to pass it off as nothing but he was unable to, “Even though you almost got me killed somehow… It’s fine… But everything still hurts.”

Obviously, Alair was lying. He was actually scared to death… Almost literally.

“U-Uh… O-Oh… It… must’ve been the efffffects of that lucid dream…”

“…Lucid dream…?” Alair had reached his arm to his sleeve to roll it up. To his dismay, his arm had contained a few somewhat fresh gashes.

Fabian had squealed upon seeing the gashes, “I-I don’t know how it happens but when I put someone to sleep, e-everything that happens to them affects them in reality!”

“…I’ll take care of it later,” Even though Alair was internally flinching at the pain, he pulled his sleeve back down, “So you can’t really help me out then, huh?”

“I’m… sorry. I really can’t…” Fabian looked down, sighing in regret, “But… try asking Raika.”

“It’s fine… But… Do you know where Raika is?”

“Yes… she’s in Glister Bay…” Fabian had shivered, “But… That’s also where A.I. is…”

“Thank you…” Alair smiled softly again, “But seriously, who’s A.I.? I keep hearing about them…”

“…A.I…? Um…” Fabian had fumbled around with his hands a little more, “…You said Holly was here, right…?”

Alair nodded, “Yeah… She’s right outside this house.”

“…She is?” Fabian’s eyes had widened a little although his eyes didn’t contain that certain sparkle of excitement.

“Yep! Would you like to come outside?”

Fabian looked around the room. After a moment’s pause, he nodded, “I-I don’t want to leave this place… But I can for a while…”

Alair nodded as he had went to the door and opened it, “Just follow me then, okay?”

The two had stepped out into the previous room as the air with a familiar temperature had greeted them. Alair was relieved to be out of the room. Fabian wasn’t, especially with what was right in front of him.

The white-haired girl had stood there, holding a can of carrot juice, “Hiya.”

Just seeing her had made Fabian screech and hide behind Alair, considering Alair’s height.

“Oh, right. Nice to see you too, Faris,” Etalt had crushed the can in her hand before going up to the two boys.

“D-Don’t call me that!!” Fabian had screeched.

“Chill, will you?” Etalt had aimed the can at the trash can behind the room’s door. She threw it, but it ironically had missed, “Ya think with the amount of times I’ve used a gun, I’d be perfect at aiming. Guess not,” She shrugged, “Liar, where’s the gun?”

“…The gun..?” For a second, Alair looked lost. He then reached into his hood and pulled out the weapon before placing it in her hand.

“Anyways, you two are done with your business, right?” Etalt had questioned as she scratched her head.

“I… guess..?” Alair looked back at Fabian, “He just wants to see Holly for a bit.”

“Well, the two little chumps are friends. Why not?”

Etalt had started to walk out the other door as the other two followed behind. The events of the door had then pricked at Alair’s mind.

“…Doesn’t this lead to the maze?”

“No,” Fabian had responded, “It was just me… It leads outside.”

The night sky had came into view, welcoming the three back with the crisp breeze.

Holly was sitting down next to Venere, petting them affectionately. They approached her, catching her attention.

“Fabian!” Holly had smiled brightly, pushing herself off the ground to throw herself on to the being of anxiety.

Fabian tried to smile, but it came out more awkward than he wanted it to, “H-Hello! It’s nice to see you again!”

“Aww why the face, mister? Lighten up!”

The mortals just watched as the two Bounded Viabilities interacted with each other. While Alair had stared off into the distance, the place had flashed before him.

At Alair’s side was Fabian, who now seemed to be his height. The two were walking together, but Alair was only able to feel resent. Even though only Fabian was in his view, it was almost as if there was another person. Alair had turned his head to the back to see someone smiling. It was a small and petite figure. It wasn’t clear as to what their face looked like, but Alair knew that they were smiling. When he tried to look down, he saw that their shirt was… brown? Black? Stone gray? He was unable to tell, but he knew that it was in between those colors. Though, he was able to hear a voice.

“I hope you two get along, you know? It’d be a shame if you didn’t!”

The dark grass and the star-covered sky had faded back into view, as well as the two Bounded Viabilities. Alair had leaned down to whisper to Etalt.

“…Do you know any other small people around here..?”

Being asked the question, Etalt had deadpanned Alair, “…Is that supposed to be a freaking insult?”

Remembering his own height, Alair had tried to refrain from chuckling, “N-No, but… I kind of had another memory from the Anemesis Pearl.”

“You mean the Anamnesis Pearl.”

“Whatever it’s called!” Alair had reached into his pocket before pulling out the small jade orb, “Anyways, yeah… It just… showed me another.”

“Couldn’t you have used a more sugar-coated term? Like vertically challenged?” Etalt had scoffed at him, “Well, no… but there might be some around Glister City if you want a definite answer.”

“Isn’t that where Raika is?” Alair had asked, “Fabian says that this ‘Raika’ might know about the way out and the person who manipulates time.”

“Hm… Well, why don’t we ask the other two about what they think?”

“Why not?”

Alair had looked over to the two, who were still talking. Holly was laughing while Fabian had looked the least amount of frightened.

“The little girl must’ve told him a horror story. Poor guy,” Etalt had huffed.

“Hey, Holly! Fabian!” Alair had called.

The Bounded Viabilities had looked over at Alair with curiousity. Additionally, Venere also looked up although they weren’t called.

“Where do you two think we should go?” Alair had approached the two quickly.

“We should visit Dunn! He gets lonely sometimes!” Holly had immediately answered.

“We should go to Raika if you want more answers,” Fabian’s answer had came after Holly’s.

“Agh, darn… It’s this kind of thing again,” Alair had chuckled, “Etalt,what do you think?”

“Would you like to get out sooner or not?”

Being met by this question, Alair was conflicted. He wanted to get out, knowing that he had other things to attend to in his world. On the other hand, he wanted to fix the world himself.

“…We’ll visit Raika, then.”

“If that’s what you want,” Etalt had shrugged, “We’ll leave tomorrow, then.”

“B-But what about Venere?” Fabian looked over at the canine, who was just staring at them, “He might get cold in Glister Bay…”

“Oh… right…” Alair had looked over at Venere as well, “He’s part plant…”

“Don’t worry! There’s only a few places that Venere won’t be able to access, right?” Holly had remarked, “He’ll only be in danger when it snows around the city!”

“Guess it’s settled, then,” Alair had looked up at Etalt, “When should we leave?”

Etalt shrugged for an unknown number of times, “I’d say it’s your choice, but… I guess we can leave early tomorrow.”

“Got it,” Alair had then turned to Fabian, “Hey, it was nice meeting you. We’ll probably be able to see you another time, okay?”

Fabian silently nodded.

Alair had started to walk on the path that led away from the house, “Well, I’ll be seeing you.”

===================

The three were now at a hotel, which had luckily allowed Venere to come in. They all ended up having to share a room due to the lack of other rooms.

Alair had hopped right on the bed as Etalt had tucked Holly in. She deadpanned Alair once again.

“Shush. The kid’s gonna sleep,” Etalt’s eyes had narrowed at him.

Holly, having buried her face in the blanket, had poked her face out, “It’s okay! I can sleep with noise!”

“Yes but he might wake you up, so he has to stay quiet.”

Holly had giggled, “Can you tell me a bed time story like before?”

Etalt had looked at her, trying to process her thoughts. She then looked at Alair.

“Liar, come over here.”

Alair had rolled off the bed, causing Holly to giggle more. He got up, standing at the side of Holly’s bed, “Yes?”

“Tell her a story.”

“Wait, me? Don’t you have any stories?”

“Too dark for children. You probably have a kid-friendly story.”

Alair had sighed, “Fine.”

Before he decided to start, he had gotten up to grab a chair and drag it to the side of Holly’s bed. He sat down before taking a deep breath.

“Once in a school, there was a guy named Al. His best friend was a girl named Alis,” Alair had began, “The two were friends for more than two years. Alis was loved by everyone and she was one of the most intellegent students at school. Al, on the other hand, was a class clown… but everyone loved him anyway.”

As soon as Etalt had realized what the story was about, she had deadpanned Alair again, “What the heck?! Do you think that this girl will understand romance?! Especially at such a young age like this?!”

Holly grinned again, “It’s okay! I know what kissing is.”

Etalt had to restrain herself from facepalming. Regardless, she sighed, “Okay, fine. Continue.”

“Al had started to develop feelings for Alis, but he wasn’t sure if Alis had felt the same way. Al wanted to tell her, but never found the right time,” Alair had went on with the story, “But then, the two had gotten into a fight. They didn’t talk to each other for a few months.”

Holly had blinked more than once, “What happened after?”

“After hearing about an incident, Al had went to save the world with his cousin, Rylie. The two had saved the world and Al had gotten a bright and beautiful crystal for Alis. After that, the two had lived happily ever after,” Alair had smiled, “The end.”

“That sounds really cute!” Holly had smirked, “Do you have a crush on anyone?”

“…No.”

“You hesitated!” Holly had sat up, pointing at Alair, “Liars go to h-”

Etalt had covered Holly’s mouth, “No need for that language.”

“But hell isn’t a bad word,” Alair had said.

“She’s still too young too use those kinds of words!”

“Okay. Suit yourself, then,” Alair had sat back on the chair he was in.

Etalt had looked over at Holly, “Alright lay back down, kiddo. I’ll tell you a real story.”

As instructed, Holly had laid back down before Etalt had tucked her back in.

“Once upon a time in Glister City, a young girl named Irene had met a boy at school named Mito. The two had quickly became friends and got along well, until three years later. They had a fight. The thing that Mito didn’t know was that Irene was actually suffering depression.”

Alair had looked up at Etalt, who had continued to explain her story.

“Irene had soon suddenly stopped going to school, which had concerned Mito. Mito had soon started to search for his friend, but he was unable to find her. Soon, he had stumbled across a book that had told him everything he had to do to find Irene. He then had found out that Irene had been banished to another world within a mirror and wanted to get her out.”

The story that Etalt was telling was starting to make him wonder deeply about why she was telling this story.

“It was almost as if she were stuck in another world, but Mito wished and wished with all his might to set her free. However, the mirror had shattered. At that spot, Mito had sobbed and wept for Irene to come back. A voice had then echoed, ‘Do you really want her back?’” Etalt had stopped to clear her throat, “'Yes,’ Mito had cried. Please bring her back to me… She’s the only friend I have.’ As if a magical spell had been casted, the shattered glass had reformed into a mirror. Irene had stepped out and Mito had hugged her, promising that he would never ever treat her badly again. Irene had also agreed on that. And so the two had lived lives, being the best of friends… The end.”

Holly had giggled at the story, “That was a bit longer than blueberry’s story, but I loved it!”

“Alright, alright…” Etalt had patted Holly’s head, “Get some sleep now, okay?”

Etalt had backed away but Holly hadn’t closed her eyes.

“Etaaalt! Can you give me a kiss like mommy and daddy did?”

Etalt stopped for a bit. She sighed, shaking her head, “Sorry, I can’t do so…” she said, patting the child’s head again, “Maybe when you see them again, then you can get one from them.”

“Okay!” Holly had shifted around to find comfort, “Goodnight, blueberry! Goodnight, Etalt!”

“Goodnight, Holly,” Alair had partially smiled.

“G'nite, kiddo,” Etalt had said before walking away from the bed.

Alair had waited for Holly to fall soundly asleep. Before a minute had passed, Venere had jumped on top of her bed and laid down while resting its head on her stomach.

“You got this?” Alair had asked the canine.

Venere had gaped its mouth for a bit, which Alair had assumed to be a 'yes.’

Alair had gotten up and went in the direction Etalt had went. He saw her outside at the balcony wall through the sliding door. He slid the door open before walking outside.

“Hey.”

Etalt looked back at him, “…Don’t ya wanna sleep?”

Alair had walked right next to her, leaning himself on the balcony wall, “In a bit… This might sound weird coming from me, but… Thanks for puttung that gun in my hood. I could’ve died.”

“Ironic of you to say that,” Etalt had shrugged, “It was nothing.”

“Have you saved a person’s life before?” Alair had asked.

“Doesn’t yours count?”

“…Maybe…” Alair had decided to move the topic, “That story was kinda cool. Did you make it yourself?”

“Mhm. A long time ago,” Etalt had muttered, “And yours… I’m guessing that it was based off reality?”

Looking at Etalt, Alair had seemed shocked, “H-How do you know?”

“Al. Really,” Etalt had snorted, “If you actually had a better name, then I wouldn’t be thinking that!”

“…Okay, I admit. It was based off a true story. You got me,” Alair had gently nudged Etalt, “But that last part wasn’t real. I made it up.”

“Liars go to hell, liar,” Etalt had snorted again, “So you have a crush on someone?”

“As much as I’d hate to admit it, yes. It was kind of obvious because of that story.”

“Speaking as a frie- I mean company… Don’t ever narrate about your life unless you’ve got nothing to lose.”

“Lesson learned,” Alair looked out into the open, “It was a kid, okay?”

“Yeah, but not all kids are stupid. Especially this one.”

“I know.”

The wind blew by once again.

“So what’s she like?” Etalt had asked.

“Oh, Alis? Everyone loves her and she’s pretty intellegent… But… Her parents died a little after she was born… So she was adopted,” Alair smiled a little again, “You know, it turns out that she was the lost princess of a country in Europe! Well, she does have that kind of charm that makes every guy want her-”

“Stop right there,” for about the fourth time today, Etalt had deadpanned him, “That description is making my ears bleed… Personality. Appearance. NOT HER TRAGIC BACKSTORY AND WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT HER.”

“….Okay…! Everyone thinks she can be a supermodel! She has blonde hair and blue eyes! She’s pretty atheletic! She has a nice voice! She’s really nice, but she’s careless sometimes!” Alair stopped to catch his breath, “I actually… wanted to bring a crystal from Lucid Cave to give to her as an apology for what happened back then.”

Etalt just stared at him for a little bit, “You know… If ya didn’t remind me of someone I once knew, you’d be getting your neck snapped on the cold hard and earthy soil,” she jumped off the balcony wall and back on the floor, “Geez, if I ever see that woman here then I might stab myself. Perfection makes me cringe,” she walked to the sliding door before opening it, “But… That’s how it is if ya feel that way towards her.”

Before Etalt could step inside, Alair had looked back at her.

“That aside… Do you think I should be going back to Earth real soon?”

Etalt had closed the door, “…Why do you ask?”

“…That illusion that Fabian used on me wasn’t too…” Alair had looked down, “My brother…”

Not knowing how to respond, Etalt had huffed, “I’m sure your brother is fine. After all, you left him under the care of your relatives, right?”

“…I guess. I just worry about him, sometimes.”

“Well, no need to worry I guess. He’s out of this world’s grasp, probably,” Etalt had walked back over to Alair, “…Did you… get into a fight with Fabian? You said he used an illusion on you.”

“…Mhm… But… They kind of don’t ma-”

Etalt had grabbed his wrist, rolling up his sleeve to reveal the two-hour old cuts. She raised an eyebrow at him, “…Where did he get you?”

“Uh… On my arms… He also got my back, but I’m sure that doesn’t- GAH!”

Alair had stepped back as soon as Etalt had placed a hand on his back.

“H-Hey, don’t touch that!” Alair had seemed to flinch, remembering the damage that had been inflicted on his back.

“Inside. Now,” Etalt’s eyes had narrowed.

“It’s fine, I don’t-”

“Do you wanna die?”

“…Okay, fine.”

Etalt had went inside, leaving Alair outside. He looked out into the town, watching as people had entered their houses one by one.

The scenery had slowly faded into a bright sky, where the same person that was following him in the same flashback was right next to him. They smiled, looking at the view.

“There’s not much. Oh well! We’ll probably find more things! Keep your head up, bud!”

The scene was slowly fading out to the current one once again. Alair shook his head, proceeding to go back inside.

[arkweldr-blog]

‘76 Ironhead Build

The 2016 Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride in St. Louis had a great turnout of riders. Lot’s of cafe bikes and vintage standards to get excited over. But one bike in particularly caught everyone’s attention ~ Chris G’s 1976 Harley-Davidson Ironhead.

I can’t remember what caught my eye first, Chris or his bike. He’s a big dude and would stand out in a crowd on a regular day. But at the DGR he chose to get dapper in red velour pants and a vest. And when big dude’s wear red pants, ride custom-vintage Harley’s with turquoise paint and the fleur-de-lis crested on the tank - well, they’re kind of hard to miss.

Can you pick Chris out of the line up?

Fortune Teller Bar, Cherokee Street, St. Louis, Missouri

I didn’t really talk to Chris much that day about his bike or where the hell he sourced his pants. But since that ride, many of the guys, including Chris and myself, have joined The Toasted Reviolis Motorcycle Club (more on the T-Revs some other time), which allowed me to catch up with him about this great bike.

Below is a post from Chris about how this bike came to be. And if you catch a “u” where you think it’s not suppose to be, that’s King’s English and you better get with the program.

~ I had an idea !! I could see the result in my mind’s eye as clear as if it were sitting there right in front of me – the overall look, the shape, the balance, the flow from front to rear, the colour – yes the colour was critical – it had to capture the spirit of my heart’s desire… the details started to emerge, the larger wheel to the front, a brown sprung seat and oh and it simply had to be a springer… something I had wanted on a bike of my own since I first saw one at 12 years old on the ferry from England to the Isle of Man to watch the TT with my father in 1982. It all seemed so simple. All I had to do was keep on imagining and without doubt it would just come together right? Only there was a problem. Actually, there were several problems. The first being, I had never ‘built’ a bike before. Sure, I had tinkered and tuned and switched parts and done most things the average petrol head (I do not apologise for the liberal sprinkling of Anglicism’s that have occurred and may follow) had undertaken – I had sprayed many a can of paint liberally over a variety of articles but this was different, right? I mean this was to be something completely special. The next problem was more straight forward to deal with mentally. The concept of dealing with a lack of skill and expertise was particularly daunting however the lack of a bike to actually start, well if anything, it kept me from having to worry about problem one – no bike, no problem… phew, what a relief. But then it happened. My greatest dream and worst nightmare rolled in to one. My best friend, an awesome dude and an owner of many rides, hit a bump in the road. More metaphorical than literal thankfully. He had issues that needed resolving and the purchase of his beloved 1976 1000cc 4 speed Harley Sportster bolt on hardtail half chopped and looking cool as you like already, well, it was the least I could do to help. And now I had no choice – well I did, I could leave it just like it was – high rise bars, chunky single seat, classic black and glittery orange tank and awesome pipes stretching out the back,swept up just behind the home made sissy bar that rose to a peak culminating in a fleur-de-lis of epic proportions and solidity. I mean it looked great – especially to him. And therein lies the rub. It was his idea of cool. It was his idea of what a motorcycle should look like. It was his baby – each bracket, nut and bolt was attached or tightened by him. He knew it inside out. What to do when this wouldn’t turn, when that wouldn’t work or what needed tightening every ride v’s every second ride (it was a ’76 Harley after all). Yes, I could have learned all those things either over time or quite quickly by asking the questions but ultimately, they would all have been his things, not my things. Things he already knew about… some he had caused during the build, others he had just to wait and see about… but all his things. It almost felt like stepping in to someone else dream. It wasn’t my dream – I simply had to do this. Stand up. Be a man (or woman – after all, anyone can do this). Take a leap of faith. If not believe in myself then believe in the outcome. And so I began !!!

In writing this I had a choice. I could delve in to every nut and bolt, every cut, saw or grind mark. Each snip and spark. But that is not what this was about (plus I can save that for another day – they count the words when you write these things you know – you have to save some for later). I had one reason for pulling together this barely lucid personal diatribe. You see there is kind of a point to this. And that is, if I can do this then you can do this. It sounds a little contrite, but damn it, it is true. I should qualify this a little. And this may sound like I am a little over qualified in some respects… a Bachelor’s degree and a Master’s degree in Engineering for starters. But the realities of these are that knowing that ‘In any cyclic process the entropy will either increase or remain the same’ and that ‘heat is a form of energy, and thermodynamic processes are therefore subject to the principle of conservation of energy and therefore that heat energy cannot be created or destroyed’ has much more chance of leading to a weld that looks like something deposited by the rats of the sky (pigeons to you and I) on the pavement – ok I give in – sidewalk. Because here’s the thing. You learn. You learn so much and in such a short time that you WILL surprise yourself. You learn in so many ways too. You learn practical skills. I learned to paint, I learned to weld (a little better), I learned how to wire a bike from scratch, I learned what works and just as importantly, I learned what did not. I learned much more though. I learned if I try I may fail. I may fail again. But if I am determined I will succeed. I am proud of myself. And I achieved. It’s not perfect. It’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But it’s my ‘not perfect’. They are my nuts to tighten. They are my leaks to watch out for every ride or every second ride. I know I have to check the steering regularly (that’s a new thing ‘I’ built in to this machine – before I switched to the springer it was fine !!). I’m the only one that knows the paint on one side of the tank is different than the paint on the other. But none of these things matter. They are all mine and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, gentlefolk. I implore you. See your dream. Feel that dream. Build that dream and best of all…. Live that dream !!! ~

Chris G. is a great dude. And if you see him out and about, ripping through your neighbo”u”rhood, sporting a T-REVS MC shirt and a pair of red velour pants, make sure you check this bike out. Thanks Chris for the awesome post!

Noah