#u ever just stare at a promo for hours

[writingsbyzuzu]

high enough

two - exile/cold cold cold

notes: i bet y'all didn't think i would come so soon with the baseball bat of angst for your kneecaps, did you?

warnings: confrontations. a lot of them. Panic attack, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of alcohol but nothing is drank yet, angst.

Sure to your word, you were helping Annie pick out her new top, the two of you unable to bring back up what had happened an hour prior, feeling in absolute shock.

As Annie tried on the tops, you sat on a bench across from her dressing room door. Your phone buzzes.

eth 🥊❤️‍🔥: did you pick it up for me

you: yes sir! get it to you tomorrow :)

eth 🥊❤️‍🔥: you're a peach, trouble. where would i be w/o you

you: probably dead

eth 🥊❤️‍🔥: ha! love ya

eth 🥊❤️‍🔥: see u tomorrow trouble

You smile at your phone, staring at the screen as Annie comes out from the changing room. "Hey, just tell him you love him and want him to bone you so you can finally give me your attention," she teases. You look up, putting your phone away. "Girl, you look hot," you tell Annie.

Annie grins, doing a twirl. "It's sexy, dude, I think I have to get it. Wear it on our next club excursion." You groan. "Ans, we haven't been to the club in a year," you whine. "That's because you're spending too much time with a certain blonde boss."

"Okay, okay, pinkie promise, the next time I get a night free, we are going, and you can hold me to that."

She nods, reentering the changing room to put back on her actual shirt.

Ethan's manager was by all accounts, a serious dude. Ethan had a really hard time getting along with him at points, but for the most part, he was the reason Ethan had gotten so far in his career, he thinks. Well. One of two reasons.

But Ethan didn't want to do his manager's plan today.

"I'm not doing it, Jerry," he pushes the papers back across towards his manager, his chest tightening with nerves.

"I can't do it. I won't do it."

Jerry shakes his head. "Me and Rebecca think this is the best course of action for you. It'll make you look better for publicity, especially if you win the match."

"I can't do it," Ethan repeats, putting his head in his hands.

"Why not?"

"You know why," Ethan murmurs.

It didn't matter in the end. He had to do it.

You walk into Ethan's kitchen the next morning, clipboard and phone in hand, bag from fancy store in tow. He's sitting at his kitchen island again, shoveling scrambled eggs into his mouth off a plate loaded with them. "Morning Eth!"

He looks up at you, still chewing. He swallows quickly, grinning at you. "Good morning trouble." His eyes watch you approach, dropping the clothing back on the seat next to him. "One clothing pick up, as requested," you chirp, swiping a strawberry off his plate.

"What's on the agenda today?"

"Press interview, practice, and then we have to go to the stadium to film some promo shit, you know how it is," you smile.

He's staring at you, and his eyes are filled with some look you don't quite recognize, almost...nervous and sad.

"Ethan, are you okay?" You tilt your head, staring back. "You don't look so good."

His face shifts to an expression of uneasiness.

"Listen, trouble, I have to tell you something." Ethan fidgets with the fork, unable to look at you suddenly, before continuing. "I care about you, a lot, and I..."

He trails off, and your stomach tightens in knots. Oh god. What could he possibly say next?

Jerry comes in, his permanent scowl dark as ever. He turns to you. "Oh good, you're here. We need to hurry to get to the interview on time. Go call the cab," he barks at you. You nod, leaving the kitchen quickly. You and Jerry never quite got along.

After the cab is called, you're waiting in the front hall for Ethan and Jerry, who were discussing god only knows what (probably interview questions), and for Ethan to get changed.

What was Ethan possibly going to say to you? You think you knew. Probably that he figured out your feelings for him and was going to send you straight to the friend zone. Or worse yet, the boss at a distance zone. A part of you felt like dying from embarrassment. This is what you get, you suppose, for falling in love with him.

The cab pulls up, so you yell out for its arrival. Jerry exits the house first, and you go to follow. As you're partially out the door, Ethan yanks you on your elbow back a few steps.

"Trouble, I really need to talk to you, it's serious."

"Ethan, as my boss, I respect you, but Jerry is also my boss and if our asses are not in that car in the next minute, my ass is going to be handed to me. Please."

You hurry to the car, Ethan sighing exasperated.

He never gets a chance to tell you in private.

Jerry had all but banned him from speaking, but he couldn't let you sit in the dark and find out the hard way. He couldn't let you misunderstand the situation for a second.

But Jerry had stopped him. It was like Jerry was hanging around every moment he could, preventing you and Ethan from even having a moment alone together.

An hour before the match, Ethan finally has his moment of opportunity. You had been asked to fetch him his water, the most common task asked of you since Ethan hired you, and it's there in his dressing room, finally alone, that he gets both his drink and his moment.

"Here's your drink, Eth."

He takes it from you, his fingers covering your own and brushing them. And so, like he does every time he gets his drink, he says his line. "When I get to the pearly gates, I hope the first thing I hear is you telling me you got me my drink."

There's no smile on his face, this time, however.

"Say, trouble, I've been trying to tell you what I wanted to all week."

You open your mouth to speak, but he shakes his head. "Let me talk first, and then you can speak, okay? I don't think I have much time-"

But at that moment, Jerry opens the door, and all hope Ethan has of avoiding his impending catastrophe is crushed.

"Ethan? They need you now. Let's hurry up," Jerry nods at him. He looks at you. "Why don't you hurry on to your seat? I'll join you when this is done." You nod at Jerry, and give Ethan a big smile.

"Good luck out there, big guy."

Ethan tries in that moment to memorize your smile in case he doesn't see it again.

You're sitting in the usual spot set for managers and assistants, quietly on your phone. The calm before the fight was always the most boring aspect for you, a time where you weren't needed for anything.

At least, you weren't needed until you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You look up, staring at the largest bodyguard you had to EVER see, in your life. Which was saying something.

"Ms Harini Iyer has requested you come to her in her VIP booth," the man's voice booms. You scoop up your purse and your belongings, trying not to let the emotion show on your face.

Holy shit, holy fucking shit.

You're doing your best not to panic, following the giant man, dodging and weaving in between the crowds of people and bleachers, until you reach it. As the door opens, you see Harini jump up from her seat, bounding towards you. She calls out your name, before giving you a hug.

Holy shit, Harini Iyer knows your name. She just fucking hugged you, you think, and you feel confused.

She grabs your hand, dragging you over to the seats. "Sit," she motioned. So you do.

"I wanted to hang out with you," she cheerfully says.

"Right. You sure you meant me? I'm not famous or anything." Harini laughs, throwing her head back. "You might not technically be, but you're well known in the community. And the two most important girls to the athletes should sit together, I feel like. Shows sportsmanship, solidarity."

"I'm not- I'm just- I'm only an assistant," you protest, shaking your head.

"You're the most well known assistant. You do pretty much everything for Ethan Nestor, and fans love you."

"Fans love Ethan. It comes with the territory."

"Right, but it comes with the dynamic, too. You keep his secrets, you give him friendship."

You nod.

You see Damon and Ethan heading to the ring. You turn your full body towards the ring, watching Ethan's every move like a hawk. And Harini doesn't fail to notice.

"You care a lot about him, huh?" she asks. "He's my boss. He's in a tough profession. Of course I do."

As they prepare to enter the ring, Harini asks another question.

"But it's more than that, isn't it?"

The two of you stare at each other, as the match counts down to begin.

The first round is sat in absolute silence.

When the match was counting down, Ethan looked for you in your usual spot, but all he saw was Jerry and a blonde girl, sitting on the bench. Ethan felt like he was going to puke. Did you find out already?

As if reading his mind, Damon speaks. "If you're looking for your trouble, she's with my girlfriend."

Ethan snaps his head back. Sure enough, he sees you in the VIP booth, talking to a popstar.

What the hell were you doing with her?

Damon wins the first round within minutes.

You're biting your nails, trying not to freak out. Harini keeps shifting between looking at you, and looking at the match below you two, as if she wanted to say something.

"Spit it out."

She blurts it out. "I know you're in love with him." Your head snaps, and for a moment you thought you had whiplash. Sure, it had already been implied, but to say it out loud?

"What are you-"

Her eyes fill with tears. "You know it's never going to happen, right?" Silence in the VIP booth, while Ethan's fans cheer. You aren't looking at the fight, however. You're staring back at Harini. She continues to speak. "I mean, he can't date you. He's your boss. Could you imagine the kind of scandal that would bring? People would think he took advantage of you in a power position."

You shake your head, your eyes filling with tears like hers.

"Harini, why am I up here tonight?"

Ethan wins his first round.

She looks out among the cheering crowd, before speaking again, this time not looking at you. "I want you to come work with me."

"What?"

"Work for me."

Confusion dawns on you. "Why?"

"That man relies on you for everything, and he strings you along, when he knows his career will block him from ever touching you, but he keeps you around, paying you, keeping you stuck like that because he doesn't know how to live without you. And I've done my research on you. I've done a lot of research on you. I know what kind of person you are. And you don't deserve that."

You sit in silence, but the tears don't break.

Harini speaks again. "You heard the gossip last year about my miscarriage? My last assistant did that. I'm looking for someone who can be a friend, a real friend. And sure, you'd have to actually do some work, but I'll be paying you. Twice as much as he is, right now. We'd have fun. Your career could advance, a lot."

"Why are you offering this to me?"

"Because you were nice to Damon and I, outside the store. Even if you didn't have to be. You could have been mean, rude, shit talked. Damon tried deliberately to be rude, but you...you just kept talking politely and gave a witty response. You're a nice person. And you deserve more than four years of pining and being a water girl."

At that moment, Ethan wins the match. Everyone outside the booth jumps up, screaming and cheering.

And then you're hit with the sickest gut punch of the night.

When the reporter gets to Ethan, he says a line you've heard so often. "I'd like to thank my trainer, Luis. My manager, my assistant." And then he freezes, and he says something you had had nightmares about.

"And I'd like to thank my girlfriend, Lizzie. Baby, can you stand up for me please?"

A blonde, well you could assume, model, stands up from the spot that is normally reserved for you. She jumps up, running over to Ethan, and jumps in his arms.

And in the sickest, cruelest fate you could imagine for yourself, you watch as he bends down and kisses her in a pose from a million romantic movies.

That's when the tears finally break, and you choke out a sob, while Harini lets out a gasp and groan of disgust. It takes less than a second for your phone to begin buzzing and chiming out the wall.

"You didn't know, did you?" Harini asks, putting a hand on your shoulder. "No," you whisper.

"It's like I said. It was never going to happen. And you didn't deserve to feel this. Think about it."

You nod, in complete shock, standing up in a daze.

"Do you need help?" Harini asks, motioning for someone to help you. You wave it off, rushing out of the VIP booth.

You're running around the various backstages halls of the arena, trying desperately to find a bathroom to puke your guts out in, absolutely hysteric. Your vision is blurry, and your chest is tight, and it feels like you could wobble over and just die.

You feel someone grab your arm and you lurch away.

"Hey, hey hey, breathe for me, alright?"

Damon fucking Jones.

"Woah, just try to breathe slow, do you need help?" He crosses in front of you.

"I need a bathroom. I need to puke. And then I'm going to need the largest bottle of tequila I can find and down it," you choke out.

Damon nods, before sprinting off for a second. He returns with paper towels in his hands, wiping your face of the tears that won't stop running.

"You need to try to breathe," he whispers. He does breathing exercises, and you do your best to follow them, until your chest starts to regulate and the tears finally stop.

"You okay? Must have been a nasty shock."

You nod silently, wringing your hands. "No one was predicting that. If he didn't tell you, that was fucked."

"It is fucked," you whisper in response. Damon nods. "That's why you should work with my girlfriend. You won't have to see him anymore, and you don't have to be in love with him."

You roll your eyes. "It feels like this is manipulation on your parts."

Damon's eyes widen, and he shakes his head, genuinely trying to reassure you. "No, no no, no. She was going to ask you anyways it was bad timing. Look, that was an absolute fuckshow tonight, hm? And I don't like to see nice people hurt. Harini was hurt. And now you've been hurt, and that shouldn't fly. You both deserve the kindness you have given."

You look up at him, and he smiles. It's nervous, but by all accounts it was genuine. He fishes into his pocket, and he takes out a folded piece of paper, tucked between his fingers.

You look at him in confusion. "It's Harini's phone number. Personal phone number. Take it. Even if you decide later you want to stay with him, I think you should take it. I don't know what she told you, but after seeing what just happened to you, I think you should take it."

He holds it out between his fingers, and you stare at his hands.

Four years. Four years built developing a friendship, four years of late nights, and early mornings, and phone calls, and lingering glances. Could you ever give that up?

Could you ever put this behind you?

You keep deliberating for a minute, but then Damon, looking away out towards something in the corner of his eye, leans in to whisper. "You have exactly thirty seconds."

"What?" you squeak out.

"You have thirty seconds," he gestures with his head, "to take this piece of paper and put it in your pocket before you are busted."

You turn to look.

Ethan is standing at the end of the hallway, panting, his eyes full of anger and disgust. "Trouble?" he calls out, taking a step closer. "Where were you? I was looking for you. What are you doing, what's going on?"

You look back to Damon, who cocks his head to the other side and raises an eyebrow. Ethan starts to come closer, getting progressively faster.

"Ten seconds or he snatches the paper from my fingers," Damon murmurs, and without hesitancy, you snatch the paper and shove into your bra, right as Ethan reaches the two of you.

"What the fuck do you want with her, Jones?" Ethan spits out, reaching to grab your arm. You shift away from his reach, looking at the floor.

"I could ask you the same, Nestor. What do you want with her?" Ethan's eyes wander from Damon, back to you, then to where you had just tucked in the note.

You had never seen Ethan look so angry. Ever. Not when a "fan" threw an egg at your head, not when Jerry yelled at you over a mistake, not ever. This was a different level. He reaches for you again, but you step a little further back. His eyes flash pain for a moment, before anger all over again. "What did you give her?" His eyes never leave you, and it felt like he was boring a hole into your head.

"Nothing," Damon lies, shrugging his shoulders.

"Bullshit, I saw something, what did you give her?"

"Alright, fine. Harini and her talked about clothes, and she wanted to know places Harini shopped from, but she left the VIP booth so fast, Harini didn't get a chance to give her the list," Damon sighs, patting your shoulder.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Ethan waits for you to look up at him, but you don't.

"Trouble. Trouble look at me. Is that true?"

You look up, and for the first time since since the dressing room, you properly look Ethan in the eyes, yours bloodshot, and tired.

Could you lie to him? Would you do that? You had never really lied before to him, not really.

And the answer slips out of you without even processing it. "Yes. It's true."

Damon nods. "See? Good match, Nestor. You really got me there." And without even a second thought, he turns around and leaves, wandering off to find his girlfriend.

"I was looking for you," Ethan whispers, "You weren't on the bench."

You aren't looking at him anymore. "Harini Iyer wanted me to sit with her. Can't deny one of America's sweethearts."

"What did you think of the match?"

You don't have the heart to say much. So you just let out a small "It was good, Ethan. Congrats."

"I wanted to tell you, I-"

"I have to go."

"Go?" Ethan asks, trying to get within your line of vision. But you turn away again. "Yeah, um, Annie needs me." And with that, the second real lie you've ever told Ethan Nestor falls out of your mouth.

"But, but trouble, we always celebrate together, and I was thinking I need to-"

You interrupt him, holding up your hand up to stop him. "Not tonight, Ethan. I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Trouble? We're okay right?"

He wants to do something, anything, scream. But nothing comes out. And there you were, continuously slipping out of his reach.

"Peachy," you spit out. Third time's the charm.

"See you Monday, Ethan."

And with that, Ethan is left in the hallway.

[imarenegade]

Canon 2Doc moments list

Here is the list I compiled of all the 2Doc moments in Gorillaz Canon grouped by phase with sources and links, there are a lot but being there is a 20 year history with many magazine interviews, webchats etc if I missed anything please let me know!

Phase 0

Murdoc: Yeah. That’s when your second eye went. You flew through the windscreen at 70 miles an hour, landing on your head once more. You skidded on your face for maybe half a mile, but when you came round, my God! ... Murdoc: He stood up really slowly his back still towards me, and really slowly turned around, like one of the zombies in those films he watches, and there were… no eyes! Just two black holes, a vacant stare

2D: That must have been pretty scary.

Murdoc: No, mate. I saw it! It looked great! A blue-haired, black-eyed God! The Girls would go wild, I knew I had it. You were still a bit mental, but I had my frontman! ...I could see that the girls would go crazy for his pretty boy looks, so I made him the Gorillaz singer.

How could you not? There he stood before Murdoc ‘Love’s young deity’. Rise of the Ogre pg 20, 22

Phase 1

Re-hash Murdoc and 2D put the lyrics together by Murdoc writing phrases on magnets and 2D throwing them on the fridge RIse of the Ogre pg 44

Russel and Noodle headed back to the UK to source directors for Gorillaz first promo video. Meanwhile, Murdoc and 2D stayed in Jamaica. Murdoc was climbing a coconut tree at one point, fell out and hurt his back. He took a photo of 2D while lying on the ground after falling Rise of the Ogre pg 54

“Murdoc took full advantage of the London rehearsals, taking time out with 2D in the evening to hijack various guestlists round the capital” Rise of the Ogre pg 70-71

Russel: We all love each other besides Murdoc who hates everyone and himself equally Murdoc: …Yeah, yeah exactly, that would be true. Ah, what’s your point? 2D: Aw, I love you Murdoc! Murdoc: I won’t say it again; I saved your life, you owe me your soul man 2D: Okay! Murdoc: Oh, nice one! The Apex Tapes March 2001 https://youtu.be/HMUYwVV4F1Y

May 22 2001 Murdoc moves into 2D’s room while his Winnebago is stolen https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/2-D%27s_Room_(Kong_Studios)

Chris Holloran: 2d and Murdoc, what's goin' with you two? Why do you hate each other? 2D: I don't hate him. He's my best mate. Murdoc: Told you before, I'm not gonna say it again - I saved your life, you owe me your soul. 2D: Okay. http://gorillazweb.yaia.com/interviews.html

2D and Murdoc playing games together Gorillaz Bitez, Game of Death https://youtu.be/DJdmYwaDPAo

Bonus! A screencap that someone photoshoped that NME used for an official article:

https://www.nme.com/news/music/watch-gorillaz-murdoc-and-2d-give-their-first-ever-live-interview-2055577

2D: Er… I don’t want to scare you Murdoc, but I’m locked in here with you. I do have a key somewhere but I can’t find it. I’ve been watching you… sleeping and……you’re quite….beautiful… when you’re quiet. Gorillaz Official Forum, Sept 9 2003

Phase 2

2D hit his head when falling from a tree at the age of eleven, causing a complete and total loss  of his bodily hair.. When it came back, the natural colour  was a deep azure blue Murdoc: Collars and cuffs? 2D looks down awkwardly, scratching his head. Rise of the Ogre pg. 18

2-D: Oi! Oi! Oi, Murdoc! (Murdoc: Oh no..) I need - I need - I need you to help me tie my shoe laces up! Fuse TV interview https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/Fuse_TV_%22Murdoc_and_2-D%22_short_interview https://youtu.be/cLnkQAeMbIM Murdoc: I’m moving on with 2D to St Johns in Newfoundland and we’re going to settle there 2D:Yeah and have a little scone shop Murdoc:We’re going to have swan shaped scones Both: giggle/laughing Both: If you like scones like swans come to St Johns 2D and Murdoc’s chats during the Demon Days Live in NY https://youtu.be/k8o5KHRVFd0

2D: Uh, Uh, could I – could I just, Uh, KA - U - WAH - AYE…Uh…carry on, sorry I forgot what I was say….. (Murdoc: It’s alright – It’s alright –) 2D: No no, it’s gone, it’s gone, it’s gone…I’m sorry... L (Murdoc: It’s alright. It’s alright) Murdoc: No – No worry. He – he gets like that sometimes. … Interviewer: It’s lovely to witness the bond between you actually after – after all – Murdoc: Oh – 2D: Oh I don’t – Murdoc: After all we been through? 2D: I don’t like the last Bond.

...

2D: What because I have purple hair?

Murdoc: It’s a purple headed, trouser snake….I don’t know why I said that, I sna… -chuckles- Uh - uh, I can we say that in the Times telly pod? 

https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/Gorillaz:_Times_Magazine_interview_(Part_1)

Murdoc: Uhh...but it can hit – (Interviewer: Like a swan!) like a swan…like a cygnet -chuckles- like a scone!

2D: Like a swan scone! Murdoc: Like a swan shaped scone! 2006 Times Magazine interview https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/Gorillaz:_Times_Magazine_Interview_(Part_2)

Phase 3

I don't think I'll be giving the game away too much, If I say; he's a twerp with blue hair, who somehow got himself into my band because he looks good, he sings great and he's got no eyeballs. Yes folks, next week I'll be dragging, that old bugger 2-D into my house of horrors, lighthouse booth to sit in alongside me and- shut his face, while I play more Gorillaz tracks. February 16 2010 https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/Pirate_Radio:_3 https://youtu.be/9_6MwctTrYE

`Empire Ants’ (feat. Little Dragon) A moment’s peace amongst the rush. I sampled a lot of this from the theme music to Tomorrow’s World, and the vocalist is Yukimi Nagano from Little Dragon, an electronic band from Sweden. It was actually 2D who got me into Little Dragon. He played me this lovely song of theirs called ‘Twice’, which he first heard on the TV show Grey’s Anatomy NME Blog February 22 2010 https://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/gorillaz-plastic-beach-murdocs-track-by-track-guide-781091

@MurdocGorillaz Jul 23, 2010 We’re having a ‘BBQ summer’ here at Plastic Beach. An oil barrel stuffed with landfill is an ideal broiler. Stick another shrimp on,Stu-Pot!

Q: Is it lonely on Plastic Beach with no women around? Just you and 2D Murdoc: Yeah. It can be. But I've got measures in place to alleviate uh said loneliness. And I'm not going to go into any kind of great detail about that but you know

Q: Murdoc, what's your favorite color? Murdoc: BLUUUUUUUUUUEEEE! I like blue! I like Blue and I like green. Um mix them together and you get turquoise you know. Blue's my favorite color. September 16 2010 Murdoc live Facebook Webchat https://youtu.be/0x-ZErVzVt8

Murdoc: I’ll tell you what, when he stood up, WOW! What an image; tall, pretty, blue spiky hair... 2-D: No eyeballs. ... Murdoc: Come on 2D, let's grab a quick sharpener, last one at the bar is a wanker. (Murdoc leaves with a bang of a door) 2D: Uhhh... Thank you, and goodnight. iTunes Interview October 27 2010 https://youtu.be/Wnq3nm6ZtNc https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/ITunes_Interview:_Plastic_Beach

Murdoc: Pretty soon I’m going to be joined by a creature that we all know and love, 2D, singer of my band, Gorillaz. He’s uh- he’s just downstairs getting ready at the moment (single laugh), taking off the old gimp mask and combing his hair all nice for you. ... So while we’re waiting for him to put on his clothes and tie his special needs shoelaces, I’ll play you this. ... And with these, you made a scrapbook album on America. If you had to sum up Detroit in one sound, what you think that sound would be? 2D: I think maybe, it would sound something like this, (coughs in preparation) (the first ‘noise’ from “Detroit” plays, the track then continues with Murdoc and 2D ‘creating it’ as it goes along) Murdoc: Okay, that’s good, I see. (2D speaking over him: right, well) And then what’s next? 2D: And then I do this. Murdoc: Okay, yeah, I’m with you. 2D: Yeah and then I do a bit of this. Murdoc: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s good- that’s good (yeah, aha) 2D: Yeah, ya see? Ah? You get- yeah, right yeah. I do, that a cu’pla times. Murdoc: That’s nice, really nice. 2D: And then, right, I get into a bit of this… Yeah, eh?... Mm? See that, eh? Ya feelin’ that? Ya feel me? Murdoc: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s great! 2D: Yeah, yep, thought you’d like it. And then I do a bit like this. Murdoc: WOW! That’s excellent! Nice one, can I join in? 2D: Yeah! Yeah, why not. Murdoc: Well can I do some vocals? 2D: Yeah, use this. This thing- Yeah, that thing there, yeah just-just, just speak into it. Murdoc: (clears throat) Oh, uh, yeah. Uh, right, right, I think I’ve got it. Here goes. 2D: Nice vocal… Good stuff, good stuff… Okay, I’m gonna bring this in now, yeah. Step tune, and fade in, now. (the track draws to a close) Murdoc: Phew, a bit puffed out now, (deep breath) thanks. That was great 2D. That really explains a lot. 2D: I’m just glad to help, really… Pirate Radio 5 April 10 2011 https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/Pirate_Radio:_5,_The_Fall https://youtu.be/qujp3KfQYhI

In the original storyboard for the “Do Ya Thing” MV 2D hugs Murdoc back in the comic strip https://fdocuments.in/document/gorillaz-do-ya-thing-storyboard-converse.html

Phase 4

2D’s poster of Murdoc in his room in Spirit House https://youtu.be/QzqJnYuq97s

Highsnobiety: What's one of the strangest things to ever happen to you while on tour?

2-D: One time Murdoc got very drunk. He pointed at me then one of the security guards escorted me to his trailer. When I got inside, Murdoc gave me strawberries and told me about all the tragedies in his life, stopping only to cry or smoke a joint. Afterwards, he said I was a good listener, and not like all the other girls. We hugged, exchanged numbers, and I left. He never called. https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/2-D_Speaks_to_Highsnobiety_-_November_2016

(Via user Dreamsofperil)

Q: The film you can quote the most of Noodle: “I’m sorry, Wilson. I’m sorry! WILSON! WILSON!” Cast Away came out the year I joined Gorillaz. 2D would watch it five times a day. It really spoke to him; he even drew his own Wilson onto a watermelon. Murdoc butchered it with his battle-axe. Then juiced it. Maybe he was jealous. Or thirsty. Loud and Quiet April 25 2017 https://www.loudandquiet.com/short/getting-know-everything-need-know-noodle-gorillaz-yes-shes-cartoon/

(2D in his underwear, with Murdoc shirtless wearing high heels laying in his piano in front of a picture of Liberace)

2D: We try to spend as little time together at the studio as possible. Murdoc: I don’t know what it is, 2D has some issues with me, I don't myself. Mr.Jam: Let’s leave it here cause all you both gonna do is argue… Murdoc: No!! No, Mr.Jam!! We don’t!! We don’t!! There’s a love there, you know. (This whole interview has a lot of good moments) BBC Radio 1 interview April 1St 2017 with Mista Jam https://youtu.be/WWcb_r6cdAE

Things seemed pretty amicable between you and the rest of the band in your latest video, all things considered. How are relations with everyone? 2D: A little better. Murdoc used to practise his torture techniques on me, but since he got into S&M, he’s been beating and torturing himself more than me. So I’m feeling positive. Dazed Skype interview April 27 2017 https://www.dazeddigital.com/music/article/35725/1/we-skyped-every-member-of-gorillaz

(2D and Murdoc standing close, smiling, as 2D lights Murdoc’s cigarette)

2D wearing a razor blade necklace engraved with Murdoc’s name

2D's favorite inspirational quote is something Murdoc said

2D Reddit AMA https://www.reddit.com/r/gorillaz/comments/6hmdmu/hello_world_2d_here_ask_me_anything/

Even though Russel is the best cook 2D and Murdoc just talk about each other 

Gorillaz Reddit AMA  https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/682hwf/ama_we_are_the_gorillaz_ask_us_anything/

Favorite one hit wonder?

2D;: “’Somebody’s Watching Me’, by Rockwell. The chorus goes “I always feel like someone’s watching me”. I can really relate to that because of all the CCTV and things in modern society. And the surveillance camera Murdoc installed above my bed.” Shortlist May 5 2017 https://www.shortlist.com/news/gorillaz-ultimate-playlist-damon-albarn

What’s your perfect Sunday? MN: Sunday being the day of rest, [Gorillaz member] 2D waits on me hand and foot. He does that every day, to be fair, but on Sunday he wears a little apron, which makes it extra special. So, 1 p.m., I’m probably still in a booze coma. By 3 p.m., if I’m still out, 2D fires up the defibrillator and gives me a few hundred volts. Just to blow off the cobwebs. I normally punch him in the face due to the pain of the electricity, then he goes off to make me a Full English, which is a cocktail of our greatest liquids: gin, brown ale, Earl Grey tea, and Ronseal. Then I skin up a brunch trumpet of high-grade hash mixed with Nescafé Gold Blend and take 2D out for a walk in one of London’s famous parks. I’ll throw a stick for him or let him chase the ducks for a bit. Once he’s tired out, I head back home for Midsomer Murders, work on my cross-stitch, and reply to my latest hate mail. https://www.avclub.com/gorillaz-s-murdoc-says-he-s-almost-entirely-free-of-b-1798261196

2D’s itinerary for his last day which includes going to Uncle Norm’s to remember when Murdoc hit him with his Astra Last Day On Earth by Stuart Pot, G Magazine page 34

Phase 5

All of 2D’s lyric journal is basically 2Doc content https://imgur.com/a/K5EjPjv

@murdocgorillaz​ Oct 27, 2018 I’ve had so much caffeine I’m starting to hallucinate. Just had a twenty minute tête-à-tête with 2D, turns out to be a golf umbrella. Similar level of conversation, mind you. I’M STILL ONLINE

2D wearing Murdoc’s Phase 4 clothes

2D’s shoe laces perpetually untied while Murdoc was in prison and not around to tie them

Free Murdoc chats https://gorillaz.fandom.com/wiki/FreeMurdoc

The “Souk Eye” live visuals featuring Murdoc https://youtu.be/8AXgabiotqI

Phase 6

Murdoc’s daily routine

Machine Bites #4 No real need to include this but I love when Murdoc yells at the person laughing in the background to shut up because he and 2D are talking (about snacks, Murdoc prefers krisprolls over ryvita) https://youtu.be/LUNJucKX1O4

@MurdocGorillaz Mar 5, 2020 for asking: is 2D wearing my captain’s hat from Plastic Beach? Not the same one cos that got eaten (long story). But I bought a new one and gave it to the lad, a little good luck charm for his voyage. You look smashing, matey! #DebunkDesole

@MurdocGorillaz Really great, thanks for asking dumbass juggalo. We're better than ever. Soon as the weather clears we're going for a lovely ride together on our new tandem bike. 11:16 AM · Mar 5, 2020

@MurdocGorillaz Mar 5, 2020 Thanks for noticing, biscotti. That's due to the great new foundation 2D bought for me. Because I'm worth it.

Machine Bites #6 2D: "Feeling better now Murdoc? I haven't heard you crying for a few hours." Murdoc: "My tear ducts dried up years ago. – I watched 'The Notebook' last night; [2D: "Oh yeah"] dry as the Gobi Desert."

Murdoc: "Oh! Man! Yeahyeayea yeah! This is eyeball sweat, ehhh? I told you about that in 2007." https://youtu.be/mVZN1nBrWAg

Machine Bites #7 2D: His eyeballs are sweating again, you uh- do you need some um- Murdoc: They're not! 2D: Do you need some antiperspirant for your eyeballs? Murdoc: Oh wait a minute, yeah they probably are a little bit, mhmm https://youtu.be/TqSBvmcBdns

Murdoc "bromanced" 2D the week leading up to the Aries shoot https://twitter.com/gorillaz/status/1258780308213809152

Machine Bitez #15 Oct 1 2D: Have you ever been positive for a whole hour? Should we try it? Murdoc: Don't know if I could do it! 2D: Do you like my shoes? Murdoc: No. https://youtu.be/PmEKOMIMY-0

Murdoc answers his own questions on the Pac-Man video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-7U-FDql1A

“Not sure I like your tone here, mate,” he queries us. “The study of Orgonomy demands huge dedication and sacrifice. I’ve spent months in a box wearing nowt but my underwear. Not to mention the horrible experiments 2-D bravely volunteered for. So a bit more respect, yeah?" Clash magazine interview April 5 2021 https://www.clashmusic.com/features/land-of-the-permanent-sun-gorillaz-interviewed (Side note: "Orgone Accumulator, a fraudulent device alleged to recharge a person's orgone, the energy of sexual orgasm." https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/orgonomy So Murdoc was experimenting on 2D in his sexual energy orgasm box) 

2D and Noodle Reddit AMA https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/i4s8zi/hello_world_im_2d_from_gorillaz_ask_me_and_noodle/.compact

2D's hallucinations of Murdoc while “stranded” in Gaudalupe Mexico after the attack on Plastic Beach, includes many shots centered on Murdoc’s crotch and butt Wish You Were Here, Gorillaz Almanac pg 12

Pickled personally by Murdoc, using his secret recipe, Packed by 2D, May contain nuts Niccal’s Pickles ad, Gorillaz Almanac pg 180

2D was lucky that night Short Stories, Gorillaz Almanac pg 193

"...but um yeah the show must go on, heheh. The good news is Murdoc just brought me a nice cup of tea.”

Song Machine Radio episode 1 - 2D and Georgia  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0GJkAArG60

Song Machine Live Murdoc talks about the big party he threw for 2Ds birthday but he didn't invite him. 2D invites Murdoc to his room to put together a puzzle which Murdoc doesn't find to be a fun time December 12 2020 Song Machine live https://youtu.be/vrbPV4yusSg

2D's booty shorts he wears in the Humility MV framed and hung on the wall of Murdoc's Winnebago, Fred Perry x Gorillaz app May 2021

Murdoc wearing Fred Perry "2d" bomber jacket, Fred Perry x Gorillaz May 2021

Seeing as we’re still in the throes of a pandemic, we should probably start with the obvious: How’s your health?

2D: Yeah I’m OK cheers for asking. Russ and Noodle are good too, but it’s hard to tell with Murdoc as he always looks green and not well. It’s the same with kiwis, how do you know if they’ve gone mouldy if they are green in the first place? The only way to know is by eating them Indie Mag interview May 20 2021 https://indie-mag.com/2021/05/20-years-of-gorillaz-interview-fred-perry/

Murdoc wearing 2D’s shirt from the ‘Tranz’ MV phase 5, gfoot capsule collection August 2021

 Murdoc asked everyone to dress up as elves and sing carols, only 2D did and sang to Murdoc as he wrote this email. Murdoc Niccals | A Christmas Address email December 16 2021

[astranva]

Hi can u please do one where Harry absolutely loves to scare his wife because she gets scared really easily and he has bunch of videos of her getting scared by him and he posts it on social midea and it goes viral?

I just don’t have anything to read tonight sadly lol

Word Count: 1.1k

Category: Fluff

Warning: Some strong language

a/n: that was cute 😭

..

It wasn’t that the slightest of sudden noise made you jitter, and it wasn’t that you cried at horror movies or anything, but Harry knew how to push the right buttons to have you screaming (in shock) (and pleasure but that’s another story) and sure, you loved him, but God how you hated him for it.

It started a few months after he had known you; you were sitting in a café as you waited for him, seemingly in your own universe as you scrolled through your phone with one hand and sipping your drink with the other.

Harry hadn’t snuck up on you, really, you were just too oblivious that the moment he pulled back the chair and let out a sudden “Hi!” you had let out a yelp, spilling your drink all over you.

He was embarrassed to have been loud, but it took you both a good minute before you were both giggling.

It was the norm after that: Harry would be a tad louder than usual during your quiet times, you would take a moment with your hand to your chest as you let out a “Well, shit, Harry!” and then you both would be giggling and laughing, Harry more than you for his own amusement purposes.

Harry began recording a year ago.

He was a pest when it came to scaring you, but you always gave him a good laugh and he couldn’t stop himself.

Fans knew about you; they knew about how lowkey you were and it wasn’t a surprise that they rarely got content of you and Harry together, everyone knowing how private Harry was and how he most definitely didn’t want to abuse your privacy as well seen you weren’t anywhere near being from the industry.

That was all why it was surprising when fans all over the world opened their Instagram one day to find Harry had posted something other than tour promo.

It was an IGTV with you, captioned:

“Boo.”

The video began with you sitting opposite from Harry on a couch, one hand under your chin as you read a book on your lap. It zoomed on your face a little before Harry zoomed out.

“Hey!”

You had jumped in your seat, book flying to God knows where, eyes wide as you stared at Harry, “Well, shit, Harry!”

It then moved to another video, showing an empty hallway with a distant sound of you singing to yourself, and Harry chuckling into the microphone of the mobile before going quiet, a shadow seen approaching as you did.

“Y/N!”

“Shit, Harry!”

You had jumped back, hand to your chest as you closed your eyes, before you laughed as you marched to him to tackle him.

Another video then came, this time recorded through the front camera of his phone.

Your head was on his shoulder, sounds of the television sounding as you were focused on the screen while Harry looked at his phone’s screen with a child-like smile.

“Baby!”

“Shit, Harry!”

Another video appeared; you were with Gemma working on a puzzle, both of you sitting on the ground as the puzzle was on the coffee table in front of you.

Your back was facing the screen as Harry creeped up behind you, recording his hand as it moved slowly to reach out and touch your shoulder, jolting you with a loud “Y/N!”

Harry’s laugh was heard over your shriek, phone recording as you had pushed away the puzzle you and Gemma had been working on for the past hour, pieces going everywhere.

“Shit, Harry, you fucker!” You were angry, despite Harry’s giggles and it’s why his phone recorded the dynamic movement of him running away.

Another video was shown, this time also through the front camera.

Harry was seen propping up the phone on a surface away from your view, holding up a finger to his lips to hush before tiptoeing to the window, and hiding behind the curtains.

10 seconds seemed to pass before you came in view, singing to yourself before you sat on the couch, slices of watermelon on a plate as you munched on one, oblivious to Harry’s hiding spot.

He tapped on the window, not being able to actually see your reaction but his phone catching it.

Your munching stopped, head turning towards the sound as you remained quiet.

Harry moved the curtain, you standing suddenly and taking a step back.

In one quick movement, Harry stepped out from behind the curtains, “Boo!”

“Motherfu-“

If it weren’t for Harry’s quick reflexes, the watermelon slice in your hand would have been kissing his face instead of the window where you chucked it.

The video ended with him doubled over in laughter, you on the ground with your face in your hands.

The final video was Harry’s favorite.

It was shot on your wedding day.

Harry had stuck to the whole “we can’t see each other before the wedding because it’s bad luck,” sure, yes, but not really.

He recorded as he stood outside a door – the door that separated the both of you, where you were getting ready with all your friends and all those involved.

Harry had texted your best friend prior to that, saying that he needed to hand you something before the wedding and that you need to be nearby the door to take it from his hand.

The moment he got an “okay, ready” was the moment he began recording.

He heard you laughing with your friends, music coming out of the room.

Smoothly, and ever so gently, Harry opened the door with one hand while the other held his phone, blindly recording your reaction.

The video showed you in your dress, looking down at it as you smoothed it down.

“Mrs. Styles!”

You had screamed, kicking the door and hearing Harry grunt as it hit his wrist.

“Shit, Harry!”

It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that this video was trending everywhere; taken to YouTube, trimmed to snippets for TikTok, quote tweeted on Twitter.

With 20 million views, and 5 million likes, you and Harry was laughing at the reactions his little montage got.

“y’all i knew he was a little shit😭”

“THE FACT THAT I WOULD’VE DUMPED HIS ASS THE FIRST TIME HE PULLED THIS SHIT”

“We stan the wrong person. we should be stanning y/n for putting up with this 💀”

“PLS THIS IS SO STUPID AND DOMESTIC 😭😭😭”

“I can’t believe this manchild is married”

“NOT HIM SCARING Y/N ON THE FUCKING WEDDING DAY WHY IS HE DEDICATED TO THIS”

“ik this is all fun but when is it my turn”

[voidcat]

– pieces, scattered (around)

characters: oikawa tooru, you

info: comfort (maybe slice of life if u squint), 2.1k words

a/n: been listening to Last Words of A Shooting Star (Mitski) & Dreams Fall Hard (Car Seat Headrest) on repeat since yesterday... this is a cry for help-

By the time you hear approaching footsteps behind you, the cold has long past infiltrated your bones, making you unable to feel it at all.

You don’t bother to turn your head to greet him, already knowing how his steps sound and rhyme, years of unwanted experienceyou call that.

Just as you don’t bother to address him, Oikawa doesn’t bother to say anything as he sits down to your right on the dirty pavement. Vast, empty space all around the two of you, all kinds of trash and forgotten memories lying around, cast aside; it hasn’t been this full for years, and now, your presence and Oikawa’s break it, like a seal forgotten.

Knees to your chest, arms resting on top, and on them your head weighs down.

“A voice inside me told me I’d find you there.” Oikawa says.

His form seems more relaxed, not that you turn to observe how he sits, examine his posture, the way he rests his arms behind him, feet more scattered around.

“I didn’t think anyone would notice I was gone.” you say in a whisper. Not that you mean to, it’s just a tiring day.

You can picture him already, and yourself, in the familiar uniforms of beige and blue, hear a dry chuckle coming from his way, maybe turning his head to look at you and make a playful remark, or deciding to be serious like one of these rare times and reply with a short statement you’d not expect.

Oikawa doesn’t do any of these, instead he sighs out loud, resting his weight on his arms again, resting back, shoulders slopping, –with the sigh, you can hear all that weight he pretends doesn’t exist piling up on him, breaking that straight back everyone is so used to see and make him lose a centimeter or three.

“You always had a habit of being distant while your little friends were present, watching us or chit chatting.”

“Didn’t think anyone noticed.” You pause, “Then again, you’ve always been observant.”

“I’d prefer ‘You’ve always been better than others.’ but this works too.” You smile at this, it feels, normal, more than you could hope for.

Despite the minimum time you and Oikawa shared before, it feels like the calming sense of safety you get before you fall asleep, when it’s a sunny afternoon or a calm evening. And when you think about it, was there even a time it was just the two of you in a room, alone? You’d recall it if that were the case, because as much as you roll your eyes at what he said, he hasalways been something else, entirely.

“And what brings you to a forgotten sidewalk at this hour, when everyone else is back at the party thrown in, in your honor?” you raise your head then, as Oikawa stares straight ahead.

“What’s wrong with the hour?” his words come out, disinterested.

“You’re avoiding the question.” You state in a stern voice. Whatever peace you had a moment ago shattered.

He sighs, and you think you can hear the hint of a smile in it, “It’s not like I’d spend all my limited time back here at a stupid party.” He says as he shakes his head slightly.

You can’t help but raise an eyebrow at that, “Yourparty.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s stupid.” He turns to you, a sheepish smile etched onto his face. “Besides, when’s the last time we shared some quality time together?”

“February 31st 2012, if I remember correctly.”

The small falls from his face, confusion clear until it’s wiped off with laughter, a genuine one you’re sure you’ve only heard from him once. Never in your life, you think, you cared about the honesty of Oikawa Tooru’s reactions and whether you could get one out of him yourself. Yet now that it has happened, you feel… content, accomplished, in a way.

Wiggling your index finger in the air, you put on a more dramatic voice: “Now now, don’t go soft on me and confess how you returned to see me. That would be a blow to the many devotees of the Grand King.” This only multiplies Oikawa’s laughter, to the point of making him tear up.

‘Nice one.’ You can hear in his laughter as he clutches his stomach and you direct your gaze back ahead, without realizing the smile on your face.

Soon later, his voice dies out slowly, without alerting either of you.

“I don’t get how you do it sometimes.” You break the silence after a while although your voice is barely louder than the wind.

Oikawa doesn’t glance at you, nor does he speak a word, –deciding to wait for you.

Head falling, resting your forehead to your knees, “How you can never falter, how you keep going and going, pushing, fighting… Just- how do you find that will in you, the ambition, the wish to do things?” hands falling to both sides, clutching at nothing, you stare at the tiny grains on the ground, in the cement.

“I feel like falling sometimes, you know. Or- wait, drowning. I’m drowning, until I let the water take me in, surround me completely and I feel comfort in it again. No more struggling, I am one with the water and it is with me. Doesn’t feel cold on my skin, it doesn’t feel like anything.”

Arms gathered front again, you itch your right wrist without noticing.

“In the air, when I’m standing, walking, sleeping, sitting, doing anything, I can feel my body. I can feel the air around me. It has turned against me. And the air feels hostile, sharp.”

“And the water-“ you raise your head and take in a deep breath, “the water is welcoming.”

“I feel like all I do is waste away my life, my time, and I don’t even feel bad about it. No guilt, not until the last moment. All these years have passed, I’ve come this far and- I’m still so utterly, completely lost.” The last part comes out in a sob and a choke.

Oikawa watches you the whole time, every time you breath in, he breaths out; whenever you sigh, he holds his breath, body never moving, eyes never blinking. Still, like he is made of glass.

The silence falls again, and heavy it does. Like glass shards raining down, pricking at your skin and only then Oikawa puts his hand on your right wrist before you can itch and pick again.

At the sudden contact, you look up, thinking you’ll be seeing Oikawa, but in his stead, stands someone you only saw from afar, maybe never saw at all. Without a mask he bothers to keep on, he seems foreign, a stranger.

The ‘Don’t.’ hangs in the air and in his eyes.

Only when you pull your left hand back to your lap, does he let go of your wrist.

“I know,” he begins “that no word of confirmation about how ‘you shouldn’t push yourself to be productive every day’ will help, or saying it’s alright to feel lost and look for something. You must know these already.”

“But ask yourself this: are you feeling this overwhelmed over these only because of yourself or does anyone partake in that? Would you feel like a waste if we weren’t forced to shoulder all these responsibilities and past hopes of our parents from our childhoods?”

“I-“ he cuts you off before you can speak up again, to further argue, to prove a point, your point.

“Look at Makki for once!” he sounds angry. “Unemployed, not living up to the dream life some would expect him to be, all these years of sweating blood and tears and he is not even mentioning the ‘s’ of sports.” Turning his body to you as well, he faces you fully, arm and hand gestures never stopping for a second.

“Do you think he is fully content where is? Do you think he doesn’t any days where he regrets the choices he had made, the paths he have taken? Do you think he never ever, not even once, considered Mattsun’s joke about selling foot photos for money?”

With each question he says, you feel yourself shrinking more, selfish, a part of you hisses; spoiled, another voice is about to join in –then you hear Oikawa’s latest words and get pulled away from inside your head.

“Did he seriously consider that?” you sound meek, frowning internally.

“Oh, he even designed a promo banner and opened a burner account. Took us quite the struggle to change his mind.” He says matter-of-factly. You giggle a little, missing the way he tilts his head watches you with another expression you wouldn’t decode.

This escape is short lived, not enough to distract you from all your worries and doubts.

Your smile falls back short afterwards, face returning to its default state, lips downward, a moody expression watching the world outside.

And a part of this world outside, Oikawa watches you, a lot on his mind and not a single one seems fit to be spoken out loud.

The stillness of your body bleeds into the scenery before him a little painfully.

Blending in without a bother, as if that is what you see yourself worthy of, where you’ve come from and where you’ll end up. Cold, gray stones that no one gives the time of the day, nobody bothers to keep them clean or throw their trash at. Just a place all too like anything else.

The sun is cold, the air hangs low, a gray filter pulled over the world,

He almost misses your words, embroidered into the idle day. “Why make us all have dreams,” you raise your head as you say the rest, a sad smile on your face “-if they’ll all fall, crashing down one day?”

“I’m sorry your bright young boy is dying.” You sing, done speaking and return to the lifeless state you were in, long before he got here.

“Then don’t.” Oikawa says.

“Don’t dream big, don’t force yourself, or force yourself into a mood you won’t fully fit in.”

“Isn’t it enough to crave a sweet in the middle of something and go get it in the evening? Is it not enough to get survive each day, remember to eat and drink, sleep and think?”

“I know” he turns to you then, “it must sound rich, coming from the guy who always preaches ‘Hit it til you break it.’ But that doesn’t necessarily mean breaking yourself in the process.”

Not meeting his gaze, you stay as you were, trying to shut him down, shut the musicdown, drown out the noises but there is no static noise tingling in the air.

Yet seeing how your posture has changed, shoulders tense and fingers no longer latching onto anything they come in contact with, Oikawa knows to keep going and speaking.

“No one truly knows what they’re doing, and whoever claims they do, is bullshitting.” thisearns him a smile and he returns it with one of his own although you cannot see.

“Dream small, take it easy. No big dream is worth breaking yourself in the process. Else, how can you enjoy it if you’re not there to live in it?”

You tense when you feel his hand on your back, a consolation, perhaps, an olive branch.

“Why did you come here in the first place, Tooru, really?”

“Honestly? I don’t know it myself.” The words come out of if without an ease. And why wouldn’t they?

For all this time you’ve known him, Oikawa had a way with words; knowing how to speak and in which tone, what to say and when.

Speaking was like breathing to him, like playing volleyball; almost on instinct and good at it.

And it was his turn to look ahead again, eyes focused on nothing, his hand already drawn back to himself.

“Even if there’s a reasoning within me, it’s not clear to me. But I am here now, I chose to come, and I would’ve left long ago if you truly wanted me gone.”

“Thank you.” You say when the night has fallen.

“Don’t thank me for voicing the things you already had here.” He taps the side of his head.

“It’s a pretty sky tonight.” You say in a whisper, “There’s nothing up there, must be light pollution.” He says in a whine and you can almost hear him pout.

“We don’t need to see them to know that the stars are up there.” You say to him then, and he meets your eyes.

‘I guess you’re right.’ is in the air, not needed to be spoken out loud.

And Tooru’s hand is holding yours again, fingers stroking over the nail marks you left hours ago, already beginning to heal.

[waumpel]

ADHD STUDY TIPS

I have adhd. I'm taking all online classes this semester for college. Somehow, I'm not failing. Here's what I do that works for me!

1. I have an alarm that makes me do math every morning to turn it off, it's called Alarmy! 📚

2. It also plays a different loud sound every day from random-- I have several hundred(?) ringtones downloaded from Zedge, things like songs from shows I like or Pokemon cries or MBMBAM lines, and this helps me wake up to a different sound I'm bound to like which my brain can't get used to (and then ignore). I highly suggest godzilla roars if you need to be startled awake. 📚

3. This is SUPER HARD but I always try to force myself to sit up in bed when I'm turning off my alarm or checking my phone or whatever, so I'm not tempted to pass out again. I also like to get up and loudly tell my cats "good morning" so I wake us both up 📚

4. PLEASE STOP EATING CEREAL AND BAGELS AND STUFF. You would not BELIEVE the difference it makes when you eat things like fruits and eggs in the morning. NO MORE 10AM NAPS, I'M WATCHING YOU 📚

5. I literally schedule in Duolingo time. If you aren't learning a language you can do some other enriching activity like this, idk. I force myself to do it on my computer, not phone, so I can't lay down in bed when I'm doin it. I have a 101-day streak!! 📚

6. ik this isn't available to everyone but SPACE MATTERS SO MUCH!! I got a gaming desk that we put in our living room and I do ALL of my homework there. I also got a second monitor for my laptop with is SOOOO important if you're multitasking (and we all are, bc we're adhders ibdusvcjkn) 📚

7. HAND WRITE YOUR NOTES!!! I know this is super hard for many people-- I have carpal tunnel so I get it lmao. If you can't, at least type them. YOU THINK YOU CAN MEMORIZE INFO BUT YOU'RE WRONG!! Please write as much as you can i swear it will change ur life 📚

8. COLOURED! PENS!!! These changed the game for me y'all. I take all my notes in at least 2 colours, and I cycle through them a lot. My favs are Pilot Frixions because u can erase them :) (the highlighters are epic too) 📚

9. Make your space fun, but NOT DISTRACTING. I have a plant (his name is Yoshi) and a desk Godzilla (his name is Godzilla) on my desk, but they're out of the way so I can't zone out starin at em. But also, when I'm bored outta my gourd, I can smile at Yoshi and tell him how my day is goin :] 📚

10. SNACKING BAD *BUT*... sometimes i do it anyway... i try to associate certain foods with subjects, like I eat cocoa M&Ms (which are awesome) when I'm reading my Kaqchikel textbook. On the upside, I think it helps me recall Kaqchikel better? but also the language makes me crave mnms adkldigurvn 📚

11. LISTEN TO... CERTAIN MUSIC. I have learned that music with words, even in LANGS I DO NOT KNOW, is HELL for my adhd. Right now I'm listening to stuff like "Pokemon and Chill" (lofi album on YT), Studio Ghibli violin covers, and Night on Bald Mountain 5x on repeat ibjnvc.... I highly suggest songs/videos that are, like, 20+ minutes or else you'll get distracted with the constant change. Also, that No One's Around To Help 1hr vid is REALLY REPETITIVE and therefore PERFECT for when I'm reading textbooks. 📚

12.  EVERY NIGHT... i make a super detailed timetable schedule for the next day, down to the half hour. I don't always follow it but it's a really good reminder of what I gotta do. I write it on a whiteboard but sometimes I also write it on a sticky note and on social media so I don't forget. To do lists are so epic you guys 📚

13. THIS HAS SAVED MY L I F E: at the beginning of the semester I looked at ALL of my syllabi and wrote down EVERY daily task, test, homework, etc BY DATE. this is essentially a premade to do list EVERY DAY for MONTHS and oh my gosh it is the best thing I have ever done. 📚

14. I use the Forest app to track my productivity AND lock me out of apps ndsjv... podomoro timers work well too!!! 📚

15. Ok so for me this is like... a religious thing bc my Patron (my God) is a deity of fire AND working, but I like to light a candle (scented like FALL!!) and do a little prayer on it and I have it next to me when I'm workin on terrible, terrible homework. It helps me feel like my Patron is here with me, but also it’s GREAT for grounding and I can just kinda. Stare blankly at the flame and then get back to tryin to focus. 📚

16. Please drink water lmao, to make sure I drink enough I set little goals like "take a sip after every paragraph you read" 📚

17. Each of my classes has a different coloured notebook which I'm consistent with! Like, all my German notebooks through the years have been green! Also I take notes w green pens a lot in Deutsch 📚

18. HELLA STICKY NOTES... I put em on the bottom of my monitor, on a shelf by my desk, in my books as bookmarks (bad idea lol), on Yoshi. When I wanna go look up something random but I need to focus, I like to write it down on sticky notes to look at later. 📚

19. I'm the most annoying student ever. I like to do a bunch of assignments at once so I don't have to budget my time later, so I'll turn in like 5 things in an hour and then NOTHING for a week. ALSO i email my teachers constantly if I have any questions at all. I work at a pace that works for me!!! 📚

20. I turn off my sound on my phone until I'm done with work bc otherwise I WILL open that notification 📚

22. I make a loooot of chai (and also some overpriced herbal teas). It makes me feel fancy, it's better for me than coffee, and it helps me ground and focus! Plus it's a samefood! 📚

23. Hyperfixating on classic literature would be awesome, except I'm hyperfixating on Gothic and I'm taking a lit class for More Than Just Gothic. But I'm figuring out ways to connect them, which is really helpful, cause I get to enjoy my hyperfixation while learning for school! PLZ TRY TO DO THIS (harder when you're hyperfixating on godzilla :pensivecowboy:) 📚

21. When I have extra time I write my notes like I'm plannin to put em on Tumblr and taggin em as #darkacademia... I never post my notes, but when they look nice it's easier for me to look over em later. Plus it takes me longer to write so I remember it a lil better!! 📚

24. I'm in an awesome academia + studyspo server!! We sometimes study together on call and it's SUCH a good motivator! Here's an invite link if u wanna join, we are nice https://discord.gg/fjuX7TN (this wasn’t meant to be a promo post I just really like this group lol) 📚

OK I hope that helps!!! Feel free to add more if you have any tips that work for you :) Neurotypicals, feel free to RB respectfully!

(pics are: syllabus list, daily schedule, Yoshi the plant, and some fancy notes)

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 

[ofcloudyskies]

hiya! i really, really hope things get better for you soon. if you ever want to talk about it, just know that i'm here ♡ i know what you mean about tumblr being a safe haven. looking back, i think i came back here bc i was going through a really rough patch (existential crisis do that to you) and even after all this time, i still find comfort in the chaos that is this website. it's become some sort of refuge where i can be silly and speak into the void about the things that make me happy. (1/6)

hello marina! <3 thanks to tumblr for the reveal haha :D i'll post this to keep the whole thing in one place

apart from ouat, i used to be really into glee. i stopped watching ouat after s5 and the later seasons of glee were a real roller coaster. but i was so happy in both fandoms. i mostly kept to my tiny bubble but i did meet so many lovely people. and the fact that i'll probably never know what's become of most of them will always hurt a bit. but yeah, life goes on and one can only hope that they're happy, wherever they are. ah, this got sappy haha. what other fandoms were you in before? (2/6)

my mind keeps drifting these days, too, and the fact that summer makes me feel super drained isn't helping at all. but YES, YESSSSS, i'm definitely up for a buddy reading. that may help us beat our reading slump! we can read "if we were villains" or we can choose any other book you may be interested in, of course! speaking of naomi novik, i started reading "spinning silver" a while ago after hearing great things from a friend of mine. (3/6)

i don't think i picked it at the right time, but god, the writing was so atmospheric and raw. i'll definitely go back to it one day, i love retellings. also, i hadn't even thought about the colors of the covers, what a cool coincidence! black and gold will always be one of my favorite combos. there's something so magical and kingly about it, right? the collector's edition for crooked kingdom is black and gold, too, and i couldn't stop staring at it the day it came in the mail hahaha. (4/6)

see, i'm incredibly intrigued about nikolai. i need to know more about him. that's one of the main reasons why i want to read the shadow and bone trilogy, actually. if i manage to get out of this terrible slump, i think i'll jump back into the grishaverse and give the trilogy a go. in the meantime, could netflix please give us a trailer or some promo pics? i need something, anything! (5/6)  

ahh, tumblr won't allow me to send any more questions for at least an hour because i exceeded the ask limit. but i just needed to send one last message, so i'll just come off anon, i guess hahaha. anyway, feel free to write as much as you want!! as you can see, my messages just keep getting longer and longer. aaah, i'm so sorry. but what can i say, i love letters too! (6/6)

~~~~~

ah, thank you for good wishes <3 i don't want to burden you too much with my life problems and tbh it doesn't really get easier no matter how many times i talk about it, i will most certainly end up crying again if i start thinking about it too much again. i’ve been living with this terrible feeling of uncertainty about the future for a year now (because the thing will happen, the question is how soon) and it feels like i’m always at the verge tears, one word, one thought and i break. ugh, now i’m being weirdly vague akfdjhg sorry >< but i hope you managed to get through your rough patch! if you need to vent about anything, you know where to find me!

oh, i'm actually rewatching glee right now! i was so into it in high school but stopped watching at some point. last fall i needed a pick-me-up show to pass a few weeks of alone evenings so i randomly decided to rewatch glee and this time to watch the whole thing till the end. i think i'm at the start of s4 now. i mostly only listen to the episodes while cooking :D

other than ouat i think i only actively participated in doctor who fandom. for other things i was just a lurker/rebloger... then i got into animanga (mostly into this one baseball manga?? i literally didn't know the rules of baseball back then. don't ask why i like it so much, i don't understand it myself haha, i just accept it) and made a sideblog for that which i started using more than the main blog so i made a separate account and came here only from time to time

YAY we can agree on ‘if we were villains’!! i’ve been considering ‘the priory of the orange tree’ from samantha shannon recently but it’s definitely too long for a slump mood. ah, naomi novik has polish roots and i remember uprooted was based on polish folklore, it was nice to see elements of the tales from my country in the story. i wonder if her other books have that as well. and oh my, i envy you the collector's edition of crooked kingdom! i own the duology but in the basic covers, i love them lots anyway. what are your other fav covers on your bookshelf? and i hope i didn't oversell nikolai, would be bad now if you read the books now and were meh about him ahaha, fingers crossed!

if you like writing letters to strangers, there's this cool app called 'slowly'. you’re matched with a stranger from somewhere in the world and you can write each other letters. the letter takes time to arrive to the recipient according to the distance between the countries where both people live. i used it a bit when i was stuck at home and wanted to feel connected to the world c:

idk how we should keep this going :D does fanmail still exist on tumblr? if u have ideas let me know hah. have a good night x

[carleencl]

DAY6 Gravity Tour in Manila

Second time around, my favorite band, DAY6 came to Manila to have another sold out concert. Yes, another one since 1st Youth Concert was also sold out which was held in Kia Theater. 

November 23, 2019 - the day all MyDays have been waiting for again. DAY6′s Gravity Tour in Manila was held in Araneta Coliseum, having approximately 9,000 attendees that started at 5:30 in the afternoon.

This concert was very “intense” but memorable for us due to our experience before, during, and after the concert. You may click read more to know the experience I am talking about.

Pre-Concert

Announcement of ticketing day, me and my friends planned ways to grab our desired tickets. We were already planning to get the Royalty Package ticket since seeing DAY6 and the inclusion of the package itself was worth it. Unfortunately, during the selling day, the ticketing site keeps on either lagging, getting errors, and even saying all seats were unavailable! We were also in line in one of their physical ticketing sites, and their system was down and offline. Luckily, we still got tickets which was VIP Standing C.

Since attendees of the concert were offered a discounted rate to stay at Novotel, we grabbed the promo instantly! It was because remembering how exhausted (in a very happy way) from last year’s DAY6 concert we felt was. We were in standing area that time and it felt like so dragging to walk from Kia Theater then to find a place to have dinner and go our rented AirBnB. Thus, grabbing the Novotel discount promo.

Concert Day: Hours Before

Since we were in Standing C, a queuing number was given to have an organized line up before entering the venue. We were asked to be in line on or before 2:45PM or else, our queuing number will be forfeited. Since we are just staying at Novotel, we were planning to go in line at around 2:30PM.

2:15PM - my friend, Lizette, asked me to check Happee Sy’s twitter and hold and behold: THERE WAS STILL 15 ROYALTY STANDING A/B THAT WERE UNCLAIMED. In an instant, I told my other friends and we grabbed all our stuff as quickly as possible. Waiting for the hotel elevator feels like years in the waiting. Once we were in the lobby, we split into pairs: 1 going in line for VIP Standing C and 1 rushing to the ticketing booth. We were still unsure if we were able to get the Royalty ticket thus having that back-up of needing still line up for the VIP Standing C.

With my other friend, Ria and I were rushing to the ticketing booth to try to get those tickets. Once we arrived, there MyDays already lining up to get the tickets. I was nervous that time if we would be able to get 4 tickets for the upgrade due the limited quantity available. I was counting the person in front of us if we will be able to make the cut - and we did! I was so nervous, happy, and excited that time. I couldn’t believe it that the ticket that we wanted since day 1 but failed to get during ticketing day, was able to have it during concert.

I called Lizette and Char afterwards and told them the good news and to meet them near the PULP Royalty Booth. We were such giddy fangirls while claiming our band for the Royalty, Hi Touch, and the version of album we would be able to get.

3:00PM - We were already lining up for Royalty Standing A then entering venue. I still can’t believe that we were able to get those tickets in the last minute! It was such a surreal moment for me.

CONCERT TIME

We were so excited and giddy that the stage was so close! It’s the first to be that up close to the artist that we support and dearly love.

Lights were all off except for our lightband.

An introduction video of DAY6 was shown and after, the 5 were on stage setting up their instruments.

Opening song was, “Best Part,” which was followed by “Sing Me,” and “I Wish.” Everyone was jumping and singing along with DAY6. The energy and shouting in the coliseum was so high and loud that I can’t even hear myself anymore.

I think Young K even shouted, “Manila, are you ready?”  which everyone screamed more.

Three songs done and energy was so high from MyDays!

JAE: “Manila!!! Oh my goodness.

One more time, are you ready to have a good night, Manila!!!?! I said it in the beginning and I’ll say it again, tonight will be a beautiful night if you wanted it to be. Just enjoy yourself! It doesn’t matter anyone thinks beside you, it doesn’t matter what’s going back home.. tonight is a beautiful night! We are going keep this energy straight! So let’s go!”

Next songs were: “Somehow,” and “Time of Our Life.”

MyDays became extra energetic upon hearing the latter song. Though I admit, it was a song that you could really jump up and down, enjoy and have the time of your life.

There was a ment after 2 songs.

JAE: “Before anything, we just want to introduced ourselves. You guys can take a break real quick, you can seat and reserved all the energy.”

WONPIL: “Hello! This is Wonpil.”

YOUNG K: “This is Young K and tonight is a festival! Salamat po!”

DOWOON: “Hi! This is Dowoon”

SUNGJIN: “Hi I’m Sungjin! Nice to meet you!”

JAE: “Hi everybody, let’s get it! I’m Jae! What a beautiful sight we have here today. Second show here today and it is so damn real in the arena. Thank you so much for having us. We are so blessed and honored to be with you. And you guys are sure waiting for us and we are also waiting to be back. We have a crazy set for you guys tonight. You guys ready for tonight? You guys ready to dance tonight? You guys ready to sing a little bit tonight? I love this energy guys. Just one promise, I know you its gotta get hot, gotta get tired. It’s gonna happen. Number one, stay safe. That’s the most important thing right?

Wow, this is such a big place. How you guys feel tonight?”

SUNGJIN: “It's good!”

DOWOON: “I’m a hamburger. I feel...happy”

WONPIL: “This spot.. this is crazy. I will see how long your energy will last until the end.”

YOUNG K: “Are you guys ready to sing with us? Can we hear your voices.. you beautiful voices!“

Next songs that they performed was “I’m Serious,” and “So Cool.” Every song that they sang was just so amazing! I’m really at awed watching them perform closer this time.

Dowoon had a solo and showed his drum skills! He was so amazing. He truly is the “drum”. 🤣

Young K was up for his solo. He played with his bass and showed us what real talent was. He looks so amazing while playing. 😍

After Dowoon and Young K’s solo, the band played: “Out of My Mind” and “Feeling Good.”

JAE: “Oh my goodness, guys! We just witness something amazing! We just had Young K and Dowoon do something. What was that?!

YOUNG K: “That was my bass, my bass!“

DOWOON: “Before, we solo to you. The bass is awesome”

YOUNG K: “You guys.. the drum, including Dowoon, the drum is perfect!

Becase you are perfect..”

DOWOON: “Yes, I’m perfect. No no noo”

MY DAYs: 😂 😂 😂

The 5 members went to the extended stage and I got a closer look at the boys! I was starstruck watching them perform. 🤩

Jae was so up close that I was just looking or even just staring at him the whole time. He’s my bias and seeing him that close while performing was another level of fangirling spazzing in me!! 😍

BEST. SPOT. EVER.

“How to Love” was the 1st song played in the extended stage.

It was Sungjin’s time to shine! His solo act was so amazziing!! Leader still impressing fans in 2019 💖

Afterwards, DAY6 performed “For Me,” and “Wanna Go Back.”

As they went back to the main stage, everyone was shouting: “Dowoon! Dowoon! Dowoon!” saying that he should sing again. So Dowoon turned back as if cheering for himself too, but eventually, he sang his line from “Wanna Go Back.”

They had 3 songs that they performed in a mash-up at the main stage.

1st mash-up was Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You” and their song, “Like That Sun.”

2nd is a mash-up between “Days Gone By" and "Treasure” by Bruno Mars.

I was actually expecting a full ‘Days Gone By’ performance since I really really do love that song (well, I love all their songs actually 😅)

Last one will be Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky" and their song, “Blood.”

Wonpil hyped the crowd more with his keyboard solo. 🎹

 Everyone was cheering and just staring at him. He said that he tried to change his solo a bit for the Manila concert which of course made all My Days cheered more for Wonpil.

Jae: “How do you like the last one? That was a mash up with “Blood. We got Daft Punk’s and mix it with our song. We have a lot of songs we haven’t played for a long time.

Do you guys remember the last time we played ‘Blood?’ It’s been a long time, trust me.”

“Colors “ was the next song.

The song gave an emotional feeling during their performance. You would just want to raise your lightbands and wave it.

Next song was “ I Need Somebody.“ Surely, every My Day was into the song and singing out our hearts out.

“I Wait” was next on their setlist that they performed.

It was another ment to talk to the fans again.

JAE: “Manila, it will be hotter than this. Is that okay though?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Manila, are you ready to go crazy?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Tonight is the night that I’m just happy that everyone just being, having their greatest time that they could possibly have.

Guys, we have arrived to the last stage.”

MY DAYs: “NOOOOOOOO”

JAE: “It’s crazy because we have been waiting so long, just like you waiting for us, we have been waiting so long to be back soon. Going crazy and having fun, it passed so quickly by the way..”

MY DAYs: “Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi!”

JAE: “We appreciate it cause you guys with all the energy just been amazing and so fun tonight. And because of it we have been able to play for the last stage. We love and appreciate you so much but all things comes to an end.”

MY DAYs: “NOOOOOOOO”

JAE: “But, but..for now, let’s start officially. Wonpil looks like you’re crazy tonight. How was it? It is good?”

WONPIL: “I think you guys are having more fun than us. So we would be great to go back with all the energy we received from you guys. So we have a few songs left, and I hope you guys enjoy until the end.”

JAE: “Wonpil said ‘You can do it friends! Thank you guys for having us today. This will be gonna our last stage and the next song is very dear to us, so I hope you guys enjoy it. Let’s go crazy! Can you guys sing one more time for us?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Okay, let’s go ‘Sweet Chaos!’

And with the ment ended, DAY6 performed “Sweet Chaos.”

“Sweet Chaos” - who wouldn’t be pumped up with this song? You would just sing a long with them at the top of your lungs with this song.

DAY6′s next stage was “Headache”

I just love how DAY6 can perform from emotional soulful songs to energetic hyped songs.

The hyung was up next to perform his solo. Jae doing amazing with his skills. 😍

Each member is just so amaaaaazing!!! STAN. DAY6.

“WARNING” was the next song followed with “Shoot Me.”

The crowd just keeps being hyper and hyper by the song.

Now, who wouldn’t be super hyped up with this song? You would just want to shout “SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME” hoping that no one really shoots you. 😅🤣

DAY6 went out of the stage and showed a VCR.

After the VCR, DAY6 were back and performed another 3 songs: “Cover,” “You Were Beautiful,” and “Congratulations.”

During this time everyone’s phone flashlight was on and the seeing the crowd was amazingly beautiful. 😭😭😭

“You Were Beautiful” was just.. 😭😭😭 DAY6′s songs will make you feel that you were in a break up even though you are not. 😅

Ahh this stage, “Congratulations,” will always be precious as fans sing the song and DAY6 plays the instruments. 💖

Next up was the highlight of My Days for DAY6. One of the fanproject of a VCR for DAY6.

JAE: (not aware of the playing VCR) “You look beautiful tonight. Look around you right now.

MY DAYs: *saying and pointing Jae the VCR*

YOUNG K: “Look behind you Jae!“

Below is the full fanproject VCR from MyDaysPH.

The VCR was just so touching and true. 😭 Personally, whenever I feel down or something that’s bothering me and can’t get it out of my mind, I just listen to their songs and I’ll feel a little better. 😭

JAE: “Wow! Wow, what was that? Woooow! The reason you guys are beautiful.”

WONPIL: “This is really touching This is crazy.”

JAE: “Guys I think, we are always fighting things. Thank you for being our beautiful reason to continue our music. You know, it is not.. it is never easy. Life should not be that easy but.. everyone has a reason and I’m so glad that we are able to be each other’s reason. This is amazing.

Okay, before it gets to deep. We would just go down one by one and tell you how we felt today.”

All the next things that they said made us all cry, for real! 😭 😭 😭

WONPIL: "I think this is really awesome. When did you guys prepare this? It was really awesome. First of all, it's our 2nd time here and thank you guys for so many of you came tonight to have fun with us. Watching the video, I realized how busy you guys are, also how many hard things you guys go through and I'm so happy that we are, even if it's a small bit, we become your reason for your living. This video is really crazy.

So even us, we are same humans so we also go though difficult things. As we are your reason also, you guys are also our reason.

Thank you guys so much and I don't think I'll be able to forget Manila. You guys are crazy. So we will really promise, we will comeback. We will make good music. Thank you guys so much for reminding us why we made this music and why we perform. Thank you guys so much! See you guys again!" 💖 💖 💖

DOWOON: "First of all this video, like what Wonpil Hyung said, 'It was really touching.'

Touching.. yes.. It's a very touching video, yeaah.

So like Wonpil Hyung said, since we are also humans, it's actually hard to.. Been watching the video you guys made, I saw that we have so much strength. Actually this moment, is like a reflective time for me looking how much we affect you guys and how much you guys love us. I realized how much I have to do better.

Ahh, your English very well. (saying to the translator)

Thank you guys for our good memories. Today is a present to us. You one by one are very important people. Please be healthy and eating well and we always love you guys. We will come back. Thank you!" 🥺🥺🥺💕

*No close up photo of YoungK since I was just looking at him at the stage instead of the screen. 😅

YOUNG K: "Please, give it up for Dowoon! So... Hi. How are you? You know it is great to be back and is all because of you guys. Thank you! Uhh, what is it.. Maraming Salamat? 

So.. by watching that video, it made me confirmed why we sing. 'Cause during the production of this album and even before that, and I wrote it thanks to you.. my personal thanks to you. It was really hard.. after a certain point it was really hard to find for the reason why we sing on the stage. 'Cause we are doing the same things over and over again and I wasn't do it for my parents, wasn't do it for the company, I wasn't.. you know. It wasn't a competition anymore. It's just.. I was looking for the reason why and there you go, you guys gave us the answer. Thank you very much.

And really, you guys said we are the reason but trust me, you guys are our motivation.. you guys our inspiration.. you guys are our reason to be on the stage. So thank you very much and until the next time we meet, we'll be this much fun again. Stay healthy and happy. Thank you very much!” 😭 ❤️

SUNGJIN: "Today.. so happy.. because of you guys. 'Cause you guys made me happy, always. I think always, you guys made me happy. Thank you so much.. really, really. I wanna tell you guys.. is awesome guys, okay? I trust you.

So you guys do whatever you wanna do. Thank you guys so much.

We.. so, study hard and work hard. And if we come back..so grown up. You guys know what I'm saying, right? Okay, thank you so much! See you soon!"💕💕💕

JAE: "Wow! First of all,  thank you guys so much because it is just amazing today. Just the energy today, thank you so much just coming to this journey with us and becoming one with us, and making this concert  with us.. so round of applause to yourselves. Thank you.

Kinda like what everyone else saying that.. that video makes us feel alive 'cause we do get stuck sometimes and we do take some time like doing certain things."

*starts to cry* 😭😭😭

DOWOON: "Jae! Jae Hyuuung! Jae! Jae Hyuuung! Don't cry."

MY DAYs: "Awww" 🥺🥺🥺

DOWOON: *starts singing a Christmas song*

SUNGJIN: "And soo..."

YOUNG K: "Make some noise for Jae!!"

DOWOON: "Don't cryyy" 🥺🥺

MY DAYs: "Uljima! Uljima! Uljima"

SUNGJIN: "No, no, no. More cry! More cry! More cry" 🤣🤣🤣

MY DAYs: "More cry! More cry! More cry!"

JAE: "You guys are lucky, man. No one ever sees me cry.."

MY DAYs: "Awww"

JAE: "Thank you. It's just like, life gets so hard sometimes. I'm really appreciative of the fact that we have you guys and you guys have us.. and that we could be each other's reason to continue it all...*sobs*" 😭😭😭

MY DAYs: "Awww"

SUNGJIN: "More cry! More cry! More cry" 🤣🤣🤣

MY DAYs: "More cry! More cry! More cry!"

JAE: "I never cry..I never cry. This never happened.  No one.. no, no.. no one will put this up on Twitter. Okay? Promise me, no one. Nobody.. no one. This never happened." 🤣🤣🤣

YOUNG K: "Everyone's gonna put it up." 😅😅😂

JAE: "Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my reason to continue to do my best. So thank you guys so much. Alright!"

YOUNG K: "Before your tears dried up, let's take a picture!"

JAE: "No no no!"

YOUNG K: "Come here! (to Jae)

Is it okay if we all take a picture together? And remember this moment!!"

MY DAYs: "YEEEESS!"

YOUNG K: "Jae, seat in the middle! Seat in the middle!"

JAE: "Noo,noo.

Okay, guys. We just want to take a picture, 2. One with the banner, and the second one, without.

Alright guys, we're gonna take a picture with the banner. 1, 2, 3!"

©️ JYP Entertainment & PULP

JAE: "Alright one more picture but we wanna get a little bit more closer."

YOUNG K: "Let's do one line in the middle. Is that okay, Jae?"

JAE: "Yeah, let’s do that!

And without the banner.. Everybody show your beautiful smile! Okay, alright. 1, 2, 3!

Thank you. Thank you very much!"

©️ JYP Entertainment & PULP

JAE: "Thank you so much, Manila. You guys have been amazing tonight. We hope that you guys are not tired 'cause we got a couple more songs for you. You guys are ready? We need you to go crazy! You got some energy left? Manila, are you tired yet?!

Okay so Young K want to talk to you real quick this time." 💙💙💙

YOUNG K: "Nooo, you do it this time!"

JAE: "Alright guys, we're gonna make this super quick and super simple. I just need you to ready up. You guys ready?

Left side, are you ready?

Right side, are you ready?

EVERYBODY MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

Dance, Dance let's go!"

DAY6 was back on the extended (closer again to us!). They performed “Dance Dance,” and “Freely.”

JAE WAS TOO CLOSE. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. 😱😱😱

YOUNG K TOO. 😭😭😭

SUNGJIN. WHYYYY 😭😭😭

All energy for DAY6! Pouring our hearts out to cheer and sing along with the best band eveeer! ❤️❤️❤️

The flying chicken during Freely. So who said, ‘Chickens can’t fly?’ Jae proved it wrong. 🤣

Due to Wonpil and Dowoon’s instruments, they weren’t able to go to our side. 😥 But I still enjoyed the concert, big time!!

Freely made a big impact as the last song for the Gravity concert. Everyone was just jumping!!

Wonpil crying! 😭😭😭

JAE: “Thank you so much ladies and gentlemen. It has been an absolute pleasure to be with you all this evening.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!”

YOUNG K: “Thank you Manila! You guys are the reason why we never given up! WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!

Thank you. Thank you guys! It was a wonderful night.”

SUNGJIN: “Manila! Thank you so much!”

YOUNG K: “Have a goodnight! You guys are wonderful! Beautiful!”

JAE: “Thank you so much!”

Thank you so much DAY6! You will always be worth the wait and be our beautiful reason. Hoping to see you again for the third time soon and more and more!  💙

HI-TOUCH

Behind this photo was a girl so giddy, and happy that was able to have an autographed album from not only one, but all five of them! 😍 Expecting to have one random member to sign the album but it turns out all of them signed it. 😭😭😭 Besides the signed abum was another memorable experience - the Hi Touch. The Hi Touch was a closer moment with them. I remember the first member to have Hi Touch with was Sungjin. He said thank you and I said thank you so much. I think that was the only words I could think of during the whole Hi Touch event and the only thing I said to each DAY6 member. Anyway, Sungjin really made an eye to eye contact giving a warm and friendly feeling. He gave a brotherly and friendly aura. Next was Jae, he wore his eyeglasses and bent a little for the hi touch cause he was so tall!! Jae squeezed my hand a little that made my fangirl heart crazy. Eye to eye contact again that really made my heart melt cause Jae got me once he got nearer to our area during the concert. Also I remember his smile, and we exchanged our thank you's. Next was Young K, and all fan accounts saying he will really look straight at your eyes as if remembering you was so right! I even realized it better why fox was his "avatar." Young K's Hi Touch was capturing my heart that time because of the intense eye to eye contact and of course, exchanging our thank you's. Dowoon, MyDays baby, was next! He was really a fluffball and a shy boy. I can't believe he's just a year younger but so adorable! Last was Wonpil, looking at him was mesmerizing like taking your breath away... literally. Wonpil will make you breathless just looking at you. Unfortunately, videos nor photos were not allowed. Thus, my words and encounter with them during that time shall be a living proof and be always remembered.  I was starstrucked from the 5 of them and they literally shoot my heart from the experience. A beautiful feeling to cherish and a reason to never give up in life as you said last November 23.

➡️ You may watch my vlog on Gravity in Manila last November 23, 2019 below. Parts of the video have muffled sound since I was unaware that I was covering the audio while holding my phone. 😅

You may lower or higher the volume of the audio and excuse my gibberish singing with DAY6. Hope you’ll enjoy watching it!

Also, don’t forget to like and subscribe to be updated on my future videos on K-pop concert and travels!

---

SETLIST

Best Part

Sing Me

I Wish

Somehow

Time of Our Life

I'm Serious

So Cool

Dowoon Solo

YoungK Solo

Out of My Mind

Feeling Good

How to Love

Sungjin Solo

For Me

Wanna Go Back

Shape of You (Ed Sheeran) + Like That Sun

Days Gone By + Treasure (Bruno Mars)

Get Lucky (Daft Punk) + Blood

Wonpil Solo *Ment

Colors

I Need Somebody

I Wait *Ment

Sweet Chaos

Headache

Jae Solo

WARNING

Shoot Me VCR

Cover

You Were Beautiful

Congratulations MyDay's Fan Project *Ment

Dance Dance

Freely

◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️

💌 CONNECT WITH ME ↪️ Facebook ↪️ Instagram     ↪️ Foodgram ↪️ Twitter ↪️ YouTube

[bruhnushka]

did you really not know (anthony ramos x reader)

request: anonymous: *slides u 10 bucks* heyo bud! Can i request a anthony ramos x reader where reader is an understudy in Hamilton and has a huge crush on ant & some of the other castmates have a running bet about when the reader will finally talk to him. And one day the lin and daveed are teasing the reader and ant's like "who ya talking about" and yeah, fluff (sorry if its confuzzling + thank you<3)

Summary : fluff betweeen you & anthony bc u 2 belong togehter and people teasing and jfakdsfj;adskjf

Warnings: hardcore fluff, embarssment, cussing, u getting EXPOSED, you kissing daveed, anthony being dumb 

a/n - lots of these r in my inbox im working my way though them and hello anon i will gladly take that ten dollar foudning father without a father out of your hands.

Oh, he was cute. You were an understudy for eliza schuyler-hamilton, and you had just glanced your first view of john laurens/phillip hamilton. your heart started to race and blood rushed up to your cheeks as you slowly counted back from ten, the seconds it would take for him to realize that you were staring. you weren't just ‘oomf, oops, sorry for just glancing at you i spaced out’, you were staring staring. and then he looked up, and blushed, and you feel straight into daveed. 

“woah there pony boy” he laughed, as he extended a hand to help you up. you shyly glanced at  your feet as you stumbled onto your bearings. 

“so-sorry” you muttered. daveed laughed again, a roaring, loud, laugh which made a hint of a smile ghost your lips. 

“there’s that beautiful smile i was looking for! hey, aren't you the new eliza understudy?” he asks you, grinning widely. you look up and nod, starting to feel more comfortable. 

“let me show you around!” he volunteers. you nod again, and he grabs your arm, and drags you around. 

“thats our national treasure, aka, oakierite onadowan.” daveed laughs. oak turns around and gives him a deadly ‘are you fucking serious’ look. 

“you literally could not have pronounced my name worse” he rolls his eyes, laughing. you couldn't help but chuckle, and daveed continued to show you around. during lunch, phillipa caught you making heart-eyes to anthony, who was across the room, laughing with daveed about something. 

“so, you caught the anthony-fever too?” she asks, nudging your elbow slightly. 

“whaaaat? i have absolutely no idea-” you look at phillipa, rolling her eyes, “ok yeah i may have a little bit of a crush on him.” she laughs, and slugs her arm over you. 

“its like destiny or something, every eliza understudy ever falls for him. unfortunately though, anthony’s a huge player and your heart couldn't have fallen in a bigger hole than it just did.” she teases. 

“hey- you never know, i just might grow out of it.” you shrug hopefully. 

“sure you will.”

it had been about three months since  you came officially on the cast. they were absolutely wonderful to you. but you avoided anthony like the plague. almost your second week of the third month, you stumbled upon a piece of paper left haphazardly on one of the couches. 

pippa: 6 months 11$

daveed: 4 months 10$

lin: 8 months 8.56$

oak: 10 months 9$

groffsauce: a lot of fucking time 20 cents

ariana: i believe in my girl, ill go with 5 months 15$

the list went on and on. you had no idea what this paper was about, but you stuffed it in your back pocket and grabbed your backpack from the side of the couch. you had left it there yesterday on accident. it felt heavier than usual. suspiciously, you looked through the bag to find about three of anthony’s shirts, you'd know since you'd memorized his work closet, stuffed inside your backpack. rolling your eyes, you looked for anthony. you knocked on his door when you spotted it. 

“come in!” he yelled, and you carefully opened the door. a shirtless, confused anthony came into view, making your breath catch and all planned words fall into a stutter.

“u-u-uh i-i ha-v-ee-ve- yo-u-ur sh-i-i-i-r-rt” you barely got out, and anthony’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“ohmygod! y/n what are you- ahhh” and he let out a string of incoherent words in spanish. 

“uh-oh god- sorry for barging in on you but those dumbasses put your shirts in my bag. 

“thats where they went! jesus christ I've been searching for them for like an hour and a half now. how'd you know it was mine?” he asked as he took them out of your hands. 

“you literally wear the same five shirts everyday of your life.” you laugh, as he slips one of the shirts back on.  “anthony i-” you start, thinking about asking him out, but then was interrupted by a phone call. 

“sorry got to take this, one second.” he says, and picks up the phone. 

“hey babe!” he grins, and your heart and smile drop. “nothing, im on my way right now love you too!” and with that he leaves, no good bye or anything. you were startled, and in shock you go back to your dressing room couch and sit down. 

“surprise! did you do it? did he ask you out?” your friends all jump out from behind the couch and yell.  “wait- somethings wrong. y/n?” phillipa stopped them and sat down beside you. you started to cry into her jacket and they realized what had happened. 

“that son of a bitch-” “he has a girlfriend, i cant-” you start but phillipa shushes you and you cry. the cast comforts you as they glare angrily in the general direction of anthony. 

anthony furrowed his brows as he saw you laughing with daveed about something. he didn't feel particularly jealous or anything, just there was something boiling at the pit of his stomach and he couldn't knock that feeling off. he needed to get a breath of air, so he walked outside. meanwhile, daveed was teasing you about anthony. 

“honey, it is so obvious. he's not even dating anyone anymore!” phillipa pointed out, waving her finger around. 

“can we not talk about him for once? all we do is talk about him. everyday.” you sighed, and picked up a fry from the bowl in front of you, munching on it with a pout. 

“aw, ok fine. what do you want to talk about? we have no shows today and everyones free.” jonathan asks. you look at him and furrow your brows. 

“lets go to chipotle.” you suggest, and everyone whoops. so there you guys were, everyone in their full costumes, walking to chipotle. anthony was outside, talking on the phone to someone. daveed saw him and leaned over to snake his arm around your was it. you looked up at him quizzically, and he whispered “just go with it” to you. he nodded his head towards anthony and suddenly you understood. you snuggled into his arms and crossed the street. people started to take photos of all of you guys and notifications on your phone started buzzing. you echoed instagram, looking at the photos people tagged you in. 

@ brownmagiic ((my instgram self promo)) [photo] my mans @ daveeddiggs   is cheating on me!!!! but i would too if i had the option to date someone like @ y/u/n 

@ hamleton [photo] CONSPIRACY THEORY TIME!!!!! 

you rolled your eyes and laughed, occasionally glancing towards where anthony slugged behind you. he glared at daveed and you couldn't help but laugh more. as you and saved ordered your food, anthony sulked in the corner booth of chipotle. 

“what is it?” phillipa says , and anthony rolls his eyes. 

“nothing.” he huffs, turning away from her. 

“is it y/n?” phillipa laughs. anthony shakes his head vigorously. 

“what? no! i could never like-” “oh shut up” she laughs, “we all know it. man up. ask her out.” 

“but shes-” “with daveed? no-” “then explain that” anthony points at daveed kissing you square on the lips. 

“wha-wh- w- what” she stuttered out, confused. anthony storms out, face red. 

phillipa graciously stomps over to the two of you. 

“what was that?” she growls. 

“we just kinda got into it and then leslie was like you two should kiss so we did and-”

“go apologize to anthony! he was about to ask you out! go! now!’ phillipa pushed you out the door to meet anthony, sitting on the curb. 

“anthony?” you asked him, eyes pleading him to answer.

“hmm?” 

“what happened?” you shyly asked, taking a set next to him. 

“nothing-nothing really. uh. just, theres this person i like. and they uh- they like someone else. and its really hard.” he says looking up at you. 

“i can assure you that person does not like who you think they like” you laughed.

“wel, then who do they like? because they've been avoiding me.” anthony says with a breath. 

“they havent been avoiding you. they've just been scared to confront you because if they do-” you stopped yourself. 

“what? what will happen if you do?” anthony turns his whole body towards you. 

“then id have to admit to myself that i really do like you. anthony, i really like you.” you let a sigh esca[e and he spends a few seconds just looking at you. suddenly you both are kissing and cheers are  heard from all around you, several cameras on. 

“fi-fucking-nally!” daveed yells.

you guys laugh as anthony holds you close. 

a/n p. 2 - ANTHONY CUT HIS HAIR WHAT THE FLIPPTY FUCk???? FIRST LIN NOW ANTHONY.???? WHAT NEXT? DAVEED ???? I CANT STAND THAT HIS HAIR IS THE REASON I AM ALIVE TO THIS DAY HELPDS DFHASKDHF;L

[foreverjily]

It’s almost valentines day and I’ve wanted to do this for ages so what better time then now?!

Fist a special shoutout to a few friends who lighten my days (and dash) and this will get super repetative bc there are only so many combinations of the words “she’s amazing”, but here we go!

@oblviqte OMG YOU GUYS!! Ana is honestly the cutest and funniest person you could ever meet and she always sends me hypothetical frence fries and steak and chocolate and ice cream to save me from the hell that is having a vegetarian sister!! And time zones suck so much becuase we never have time to talk for more then a few minutes (only that is a reason u need to get a scholarship in england bc then we’d be almost in the same timezone and we could talk all the time (and meet honestly bc it’s just like two hours flight!!)) and she stands my constant rambling and freaking out over all kinds of weird stuff and she’s awesome and omg when this this turn into a love letter?! Ok...**collecting the pieces of my mind and heart that’s spread all over the place** long story short she’s the best and everyone should follow her!

@merlinssbeard Febe is my Fandom-Family-Partner-In-Crime (that might be the longest friendship title ever)(and btw you should rly take a look at said fandom fam) and I love her so much she’s so cute and we get along so well and I can’t wait to start up the fandom so we can pull our masterminds together and make it GREAT!!!

@howlingremus​ My nr.1 Blackinnon pal (who’s probably so tired of me already bc I send you so many messages and I just don’t know when to shut up (I think everyone who’s ever talked to me has noticed that tbh) and I’m so sorry about that!! But however, she’s great!!

@golden-marauders OK Nyla is also amazing and wonderful and every other positive adjective there is in the english language!! and she talked me into reading commentarius (which you’ll have to keep nagging me about though bc my phone closed the tab and I keep forgetting about it!!) which is really good bc it really saved me on the way to school because it’s hard to be anxious when you read it bc it’s just so funny. Oh, right. I was not going to ramble. Well, that’s just going great isn’t it? Ok so this is my Blackinnon/wolfstar struggle supporter (I promise I’ll come vent to you about my frustration soon bc my fanfic is heading into periods where I’ll doubt decisions and I’ll need to talk about it, so just be prepared)

@rvenaravenclaw Ema, Ema, Ema where to start?! (honestly all I’m thinking about after writing that is Emma in friends. (That has nothing to do with this, why do I keep writing down everything I think)) I always feel so bad when I talk to you bc I’m on one side rambling on about meaningless stuff and you just listen and ask questions and really I should let you talk more, you’ll need to remind me of that because I know like nothing about you but you’ve probably gotten familiar with every single person in my class by now!! However, ily and we (you) need to talk more!!

@fjrebolt Where to begin?! Natalie is just so kind and amazing and wonderful and I don’t know her very well but I’d love to talk to her more (but we’re both so awkward I doubt that’ll happen). Thanks for taking the time to give me all that London advice though, where’re going in like a week!! OMG!! so EXCited!!  what more is there to say? (I already feel myself getting repetative omg) She deserves all the love and hugs in the world!!

@jilys​ I might or might not have had a very real moment of staring at disbelief at my phone and fangirling when Liyah followed me bc her blog is pure prefection and I’d admired her for so long and we haven’t actually talked like... ever, but she’s always lighting up my dash so I wanted to include her anyways!!

@pensieveforyourthoughts Maria is so sweet and I don’t rly know how we know each other really because we’ve never really talked but still when she show up on my dash I’m like “oh, I know her. We’re friends.” because she always sends me cute things and she’s amazing

@staganddoeforever Natalya was like my second follower on tumblr ever and we used to talk a lot and even though we haven’t really talked in like a year you’re still my friend (and I always watch your snapchat stories)! Also, you all should go read her fanfic because it is honestly so amazing and I am freaking out every time there’s a new chapter

@shutuppadfoot Another one of my first tumblr friends! Again, we don’t really talk much anymore but she always reblogs my stuff and puts rly cute stuff in the tags and don’t believe I don’t see them bc I do and it honestly makes my day! But omg the conversations we used to have!

Ok so I have no idea what happened there, some kind of mixup between love letter and shoutout but let’s just roll with it bc I’m a mess so who expected anyhting else from me?

Keep reading under the cut to see who all of my other amazing mutals are and maybe follow them because they’re all awesome and honestly every one of them deserve a love letter for following me and sticking out with my contant rambling and complaining but I only have so much time (Ok, jk, I have too much time and I’m always bored) I might do complimet’s/promos sometimes soon though.

@regulusblxcks, @hwfflpuff, @nifflerscamander, @pcctters, @padampatil, @gabrielledelacour, @potthr, @thefifthmarauderblog, @acciolunalovegood, @ginnweasley, @roonilwazib, @gra-dence, @remuslupinismyspiritanimal, @newtonartemiscamandcr, @hpotterr, @ravenneclaws, @weaslly, @georgievveasley, @onthenightbus, @hufflepuffmessrs, @txmriddlx, @lovinghufflepuff, @mcgxnagall, @padfootd, @oliverswood, @glnnyweaslcy, @godrics, @my-geek-hell, @shriekingshxck, @marlsmckinnon, @authentic-weasley, @rxmuslvpin, @narcsisa, @mischieviousmarauder, @nacrissablack, @feltsondramionepotter, @lumosweasley, @drarryheartandsoul, @emmawatsons, @dracolucivs, @autumn-of-ilvermorny, @longbottomed, @newtscamder, @siriuslydesi, @silvxrtrio, @lunalovegvvd, @weosley, @marvelousmckinnon, @jamespottrr, @alltheamazingbeasts, @vrmtail, @ri-ddikulus, @rvnclawss, @ashenrenee, @animaegus, @meraudersmap, @sadnarcissa, @luneclair, @lumosmaxxima, @dementvr, @fredweazlcy, @slytherin-salazar, @winterblackburned, @pottergoldstein, @whatisaniffler, @new-age-24, @goldsteine, @marxuderz, @roxannweasley, @deer-evans, @wasted-curiosity, @jamessblacks, @lunegoods, @punkass-arcane, @yes-you-are-just-as-sane-as-i-am, @ohmarauder, @padfootpaws, @expelumos, @thewicked-end, @jamespottersbutt, @confusepotter, @gringott, @pomonasprowt, @regulusblqck, @fandomtrash-20, @darling-potter, @moonyremvs, @avooda-kedoovra, @ahilyaa, @littlescamandcr, @marauderslilys, @kait-the-ravenclaw, @selfhatingfortunecookie, @cashmerenewton, @lilywittyevans, @scorpios, @lunasdaydreams, @stagpotter, @siruslypadfoot, @allnewtsbeasts, @pdfcct, @paclfoot, @wxtchcrxftt, @fantastlcbeasts, @nymphadoratonks, @umfleur, @lillypotter, @gemillie, @dammitsirius, @asiriusblackdependentlifeform, @remuslupinismyspiritanimal, @hufflepuffpoof, @penelopeclearwter @asupernaturalhufflepuff, @lovinglylilyy, @spacestra, @softprongs, @richniffler, @newts-fantastic-case, @littlenifflers, @hermionesmenacinglook, @glowinjpg, @hollygirl09, @totally-ravenclaw, @hclenaravenclaw, @constellationddraco, @drunkdraco, @sxctumsempra, @denim-diem, @sirriusly, @credxncebarebone, @draconismalfoi, @accioslythrn, @followthebutterflies, @phantrash-19, @ofjamesandlily, @livinginthesea, @lilychosejames, @bvtterrbeer, @ms-porpentina, @wolfwolf-dogstar, @lunalittleloonylovegood, @pickettandnewt, @hermionexjaen @anyexcusetowritemorelies, @prong-s, @ravnclawss, @deerjily, @lumos-et-nox, @ravencraw, @weasleyforminister, @andallwaswell-ish, @thestagpatronus, @siriuslysalty, @snowyslytherin, @i-mean-siriusly-come- on, @prongsno, @jamespottuh, @liliesforprongs, @tales-of-an-exchange-student, @ickle-ronniekins, @siriiusblacck, @siriusly--lupin, @prongsieotaku, @maraudersschool, @teamjkrowling, @rosieweasleys, @diagonally, @doeandstag, @ilvermornysbest, @remiuslupin, @theperksofbeingabookaholic, @jilymakesmecry, @lil-evans, @expecto1patronum, @wizardingsociety, @avadean-kedavra, @superlunalovegood, @officialgryffinwhore, @jilys-deathday-party, @itsreadingtoescape, @jilypctters, @aliciiaspinnet, @jilyalways, @padf00tandpr0ngs, @ginnyluna