#u ever had the distinct feeling there was something very wrong with u at 4 years old ?

[hy2ka]

sometimes i randomly think abt the way i was bullied in kindergarten for having a deeper voice than the other girls. and the time a bunch of moms were giving me weird looks when i asked if i could play with their daughters at the park. those were some wild ass moments in my life

[zai-doodles]

Yeah!! Please rank the spirit dresses!

LETS GOOOOOOO

ok ok ill try to not ramble too much but this will def be long lol

im not perfect by any means and these r just my opinions so idk don't kill me ig, if u disagree u can say that but be polite

10. OK so in LAST PLACE WE HAVE

CAPRICORN!

ok put down ur pitch forks and let me talk-

its not a BAD design aesthetically or in concept, I've seen ppl say its kinda leaning into a like, spy vibe or something and I really like the sunglasses and horns!

BUT capricorn never read as a spy to me?? maybe its just me but he always came off as more of a butler parody especially w the tailcoat he gets in this screenshot

i think both capricorn and the stardress suffer from not having a very visually distinct concept so when put together its barely feels like they match at all, its its v clear that putting lucy in a skimpy dress took priority over making a cool design that connected to the story

i dont even love my redesign for this dress anymore bc I feel like I just need to redo Capricorn first to give him a stronger concept then deal w the dress later

OK

9.

AQUARIUS

this is blasphemy i know but PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

this one is way more personal preferance so if u disagree that's so chill there's just too many things w this dress that bother me

I hate the hair, i really do like grown women w pigtails is already a pet peeve of mine bc its so male gazy to me but combining that with the bikini top and super short skirt just annoys me

and let me say again THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH LIKING THIS but in the larger context of this being the AQUARIUS dress it just doesn't read like her at all!! Sure she has a bikini but she also has v ling hair!

where capricorn suffers from too little visual concept aquarius has so much of it!! The gold to me reads v fancy and royalty esque which makes sense for her personality, just changing the hair to something more like what aquarius has would do wonders I feel like

plus i hate the green-

my first redesign ever was this dress bc it annoyed me soooo much

ANYWAY-

8.

VIRGO

this fit is fine, just boring

but virgos design is also boring and the one interesting thing, her chains, NOT being part of the star dress or alluded to makes me angry

also pigtails so it loses points

NEXT

7.

ARIES

again its fine but its boring, mainly bc aries' design is also boring so-

idk i wish they went more bo peep with it cuz I feel like that could have been cute

also more fucking pigtails-

6.

TAURUS

if any fit deserved to have horns its this one TAURUS IS A BULL-

anyway this fits is also fine but damn they could have gone so much harder w the cowgirl thing

i do still stand by my redesign for this stardress bc I think it fits canon without redoing taurus

she should have a nose ring its just facts-

5.

GEMINI

love the concept and idea! kinda meh execution

its fine ig but its also like gemini don't look anything like this? which makes this another one were I feel ud have to rework gemini to give them more visual cues u could take

the headdress specfically confuses me since the wiki says its a Kokoshnik but after looking at the wiki for that I found nothing in the history that makes that make sense for this fit?? like concept wise??

its only so high up bc i respect that they did something different and creative with this dress and the way they split the colors on the dress itself is cute, just wish they went more magician or even jester w it

the only pigtails im kinda ok w bc symmetry

(when i say more magician i did it this way:

4.

SCORPIO

its cute, i wish the tail was bigger and I see v little reason for the fit to be skin tight when scorpio himself literally has a half skirt thing going on

i still like this so here, as u can see I liked the idea with the hair and headband combo I just wish they had pushed it further

3.

SAGITTARIUS

again, cool concept, weird execution?

this one is the only one i feel that THRIVES from not taking any visual cues from the spirit bc honestly his design just sucks I'm sorry ik its supposed to be funny but its just stupid to me idk

however even if i like thaty they did something different AND gave her the bow and arrow, it annoys me still that nothing about the fit reads equestrian or archery? there's SO MANY historical fits they could have used as inspo for this and they just chose not to and that's lazy to me idk

also also i hate that for a while bc of the way the manga was colored it looked like she was fully just wearing underwear bc of the white fabric with nothing on her thighs like that's dumb he's a horse u WANT something there to protect that area when riding

2.

LEO

its cute, it matched loke design AND personality wise, wish there were more lion elements but overall v cute

CANCER

i already talked abt my thoughts on this dress here so yeits just good AND the pigtails r ok bc they r meant to mimic cancers silhouette which I really like

summary:

[ocean-blueeyes]

Day 2: What's the earliest thing you can remember about your TC?

When I was in year 7, I remember him often walking in and out of my English class to talk to my English teacher. But my first proper interaction with him was when our teacher wasn't in so he watched our class from the hallway until a teacher came. I was at the back of the class, by the door, and he saw me reading and asked what I was reading. I was reading The Hate U Give and this was back when the movie had just come out so he asked if I had watched the film. I said no but he told me it was a really good film and recommended I should watch it. This happened years ago, we didn't even know each other's names and I didn't have a crush on him.

Day 3: Do you like your TC's subject? Do you think you're good at it?

He teaches English and English has always been my favourite subject. I do believe I am quite good at his subject. I've always gotten As (and one B) since he's taught me and two times he used my work as an example.

Day 4: How do you feel about your age gap?

There's a 15/16 year age gap between us and I know it's not good. If there was a chance between us, which I highly doubt, I think eventually I wouldn't enjoy being with a guy so much older than me a couple of years down the line.

Day 5: Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you?

My school does these termly things were students are allowed to send notes of appreciation to their teachers. I sent him note twice, but left them anonymous. However, I have a very distinct handwriting so he probably knew it was me. Before that, he sent me a letter home. He had chosen me as the English's department "Star of the term".

Day 6: Have you ever noticed any small habits they have?

Yes, he always bends his knees when talking to most students. Probably because he's quite tall so he's trying to get on our level, but I think it's quite cute.

Another habit he has is whenever he has a spare moment at the start of the lesson, he likes to put these little drawings on the whiteboard that relate to the lesson, even though he's no good.

Day 7: What gift would you like to give them?

I would love to find out some books he loves and maybe get him some special editions of them. He always does his marking in a green fountain pen so maybe I'd get him a set of fountain pens in all colours.

Day 8: Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were a student?

Occasionally. Everyone knows that he went to this really famous private school in the UK. He tells us about some of the strict rules and what his classmates were like.

Day 9: Does your TC have a significant other? If so what do you know about them and how do you feel about them?

He has a fiancée and literally no-one was expecting this so when he casually announced this, the whole class was shocked. My friends and I were doing some stalking and we thought we found his fiancée, but findings from other students say we're wrong. I don't know the woman so I can't form an opinion. All I know is that she's super lucky 😭

Day 10: What is the longest time you've gone without seeing them?

The Summer holidays - 6 weeks. I coped surprisingly well.

Day 11: What do other people usually think of them?

It's an objective truth in our school that he's one of the most attractive teachers in our school. However, a lot of people don't like his teaching methods and he doesn't get a long with a lot of the students in the younger years, so they can find him quite "jarring".

Day 12: Do you often make excuses to speak to them? What kind of excuses do you use?

No, I'm too shy. Maybe once in a while, I'll aks for something I could easily have handled myself or I'll get to class a little early to make general small talk. I do however make plenty of excuses to see him. Maybe taking a longer route to a certain class or hanging out in a specific place during break. My art classroom is close to his classroom, so I always leave my sketchbook in my art class and collect it at the end of the day in hopes of seeing him again.

Day 13: Other than the subject they teach, what are they really passionate about?

From what I can tell, he speaks French. He goes to France for holiday often. He follows a lot of French accounts on his socials, studied it at A-level and will often greet us in French. Whenever trying to teach us the etymology of words, he'll often draw from French words with similar meanings. That's ironic however because everyone in our class studies spanish, but I do speak a little bit of Frnech so I'm often the only one to understand what he's on about.

Day 14: What is a skill you really wished your TC had?

GOOD HANDWRITING.

The onky good thing about his terrible handwriting is that he's very self-aware so he'll come to you to read out his comments and explain.

Day 15: Which MBTI personality type do you think they have? (If you don't know MBTI, which Howarts house do you think they'd be placed in?)

I don't know the ins and outs of MBTI, but I think he'd be an introvert as appose to an extrovert. I think he would be a hufflepuff.

Day 16:

[videostak]

i love neu 4 its like a remix album of itself. neu 2 famously did a similar thing with side 1 being just songs but then side 2 being slowed down and sped up etc versions of a double a side single they had recently released with those two original songs also being on that same side but with neu 4 its done in a much subtler way where you hear fragments of melodies from previous songs in ambient sounding songs and vice versa something u heard in more spacious song will come back in a later song on the album in a more decidedly pop song. its really interesting and i think done in a way that cant be as easily written off as most people tend to write off neu 2′s second side. since neu 2 tends to be told as being a matter of meeting a deadline and since the methods used are so immediately recognizable and simple that people are quick to assume it was phoned in but with neu 4 it was of course released nearly a decade after it was recorded so you simply cant brush it off as being rushed and then the album itself is over 50 mins so you also cant brush it off as just being done to make the album a decent releasable length (which is usually 35-40 mins). i think if dinger had cut the material down to like 39 mins or so neu 4′s reputation may have not been as negative and black sheep as it is currently. but that would also sacrifice some of the whole feel of the album as a remix of itself by just trimming it down to be something more concise and digestable. tho i think crazy, good life, bush drum, danzig, la bomba, nazionale, and a handful of the other tracks couldve been picked and made to something that im sure would be less shat as far as general consensus goes. tho also like i said doing this would cut out what makes the album really great (inevitably to make something more easily digestible you would have to cut out 86 commercial trash and fly dutch ii which are two of the albums most powerful tracks as they directly point to neu 2′s still uncompromising pop-art and iconoclastic energy). tho its no surprise to me that neu 4 gets written off so easily since it seems that neu 2 also is very underappreciated which is still a huge shock to me since i feel like that is such a strong musical statement. even positive rateyourmusic reviews seem to be from people who are only vaguely attracted and appreciative of its second side and i have yet to see any1 aside from myself point out how the album really is extremely minimalistic solely in its complete reliance on the motorik for all of the songs. most people just phone in abt how it is pop art influenced and talk abt it in more vague terms and not of how it really tries to obtain as much as it can from as little as possible in a sense and every1 seems to speak of side 2 as having some sort of unlistenable quality that i have yet to be aware of. so if neu 2 doesnt appeal to them then theres no chance in hell neu 4 ever will. another reason i feel like people write off neu 4 (and act like neu 86 is righting dingers wrong) is its lack of a distinct hallogallo style motorik song on it. even tho the distinctive motorik is still there as it is in all of neus albums, there isnt a sort of song immediately similar to hallogallo,fur immer, & isi. neu 86 has drive which is very much in that style. its interesting cause at first i just defended neu 4 cause i vibed with its cheesy 80s soundtrack style and how it very much had a proto-vaporwave feel which is a genre im trying to legitimately make myself enjoy again like i did when i was 17 lol but the more i listen to neu 4 the more i think its a legitimately great album especially in comparison to neu 75 which i still think is amazingly great but doesnt have anything that makes it leagues better above neu 4

[thesaltyoceanwaves]

Good Intentions

Ao3

Based off this post. You guys really seemed to like it, so here you go.

The plan to ruin Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s reputation and credibility was well under way. And while there had been a bump in the road with Bustier undoing her seat switch plan at the end of the day, Lila still considered the day a victory. After all, she managed to sow the seeds of distrust, and the class managed to believe her over Marinette. She gave the baker girl maybe a month, tops, before everything came crashing down on her, and with no way to prove that Lila had anything to do with it.

Of course, there was still the issue of Adrien, but he was a pushover. All he wanted was to make friends! He had no spine, and it would only be a matter of time before she had him twisted around her little finger.

That night, maybe an hour or so before retiring to bed, she hatches her next plan and hits up Alya with a text:

L: Hey, Alya? Could I have Marinette’s number? I’d like to work things out with her and maybe even get her opinion on some clothes??

Usually, for texts like these, she gets a pretty immediate response. She even gets the animation indicating that Alya is typing a message, only for it to stop and no message to be sent. Frowning, she places the phone down on her desk as she goes about browsing social media profiles of her classmates and the stars she’s supposedly schmoozed with, checking to see if there are any new updates. About thirty minutes pass when Alya finally responds, and Lila can’t help but roll her eyes at what might have possibly kept Alya for so long.

A: heyyy, i think it’s great u want to get along w Mari, but i think it’s better 2 give her some space after 2day. but if it’s an emergency, i can ask her 4 u!

Squinting her eyes, she gives the text a long, hard glance before realizing that it’s real. It has to be some sort of joke. There’s no real reason Alya should be hesitant in giving her something like this. 

L: I was worried about this. Marinette must really hate me if she doesn’t even want to give me her number!

A satisfied smirk spreads across her face as she waits for the inevitable anxious reply. Surely, Alya wouldn’t want her new friend to feel so left out and targeted, right? Once again, the texting animation is quickly evident, and she can practically hear Alya apologizing for making her feel so bad about it. 

A: i swear it’s not like that!!! just give her some time & she’ll warm up, i swear!! so how about those outfits!?

Scowling, she quickly responds with a half-hearted “never mind, I’ll ask Clara’s designer instead,” and tosses the phone across the room onto her bed with a sigh. Perhaps it’s just a fluke, and maybe tomorrow, when Lila comes face to face with Alya, she can corner her into giving up Marinette’s number. It’s not something she should be this worried about anyway, but if she’s going to forge fake messages, she needs to make it look like they had contact with each other.

For now, that idea is on hold. Still, there’s plenty of ways to shake things up the next morning.

---

While having a position of power made you respected, it also made you stress out over every other little thing, and put you in a position of criticism. Thankfully, Lila doesn’t have to contend with the responsibilities of Class Rep, and can instead content herself to push Marinette’s buttons instead.

“...And the class vs class picnic will be happening next Friday,” she says, finishing the morning announcements, “Please make sure to bring athletic attire to change into, because we will  be getting messy. Does anyone have any questions?”

Oh boy, does Lila ever. She meekly raises her hand, making sure at least one or two other classmates note the wary expression on her face. Biting back a sigh, Marinette points to her and asks, “Yes?”

“Um, well, I’m not sure I can handle anything outdoorsy,” she pouts, holding out her hand, “My wrist is busted and I can’t really throw anything.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” Mylene interrupts, smiling cheerfully, “We made sure to include some non-athletic activities, like making friendship bracelets and writing nature haikus! If you don’t want to use pen and paper, you should be able to bring your tablet!”

With her lips curling inward, Lila has to bite back a dark glare. Something was definitely up. She’s not sure what, but Marinette must have told them something about the previous day. It’s difficult to tell because Marinette doesn’t have a very distinctive expression, but Lila would be a fool to believe otherwise.

And she would certainly not be that.

“That’s very nice of you to think of me,” she says, trying to bite back tears, “But, um, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go that day, anyway. I’m supposed to be volunteering at a charity event to help reduce carbon emissions. Is it possible that we could have the picnic a day earlier? Or the next week?”

Some glances are exchanged in the rows before conversation breaks out. As she expects, Marinette’s face contorts with annoyance, and she opens her mouth to say something, but she’s cut off by Alya, who places a hand on her shoulder, and shakes her head. Turning to Lila, she says, “Actually, me and Mari spent a lot of time organizing this event with the other student reps, and it wouldn’t be fair to suddenly reschedule like that. But I assure you that we have some other events in the future that we’ll be more easily able to take your schedule into account, just as long as you tell us ahead of time, Lila.”

“Oh,” she pouts, blinking as rapidly as she can. “That’s too bad. I was really looking forward to going too…” she says with a sigh.

“Well,” Mylene offers, “We can always throw you a picnic another day. That way, Marinette and the other student reps don’t have to worry about all that rescheduling, and you can still have fun hanging out with us. Right, guys?”

The chattering, the annoying, annoying chattering grows more excited, as if they already have it planned in stone. As though they no longer have to give Lila anymore thought or concern. Of course, she’d have to be gracious and just accept it, right?

There’s still no sign from Marinette that she’s in on it, or that she’s satisfied with the turn out. For someone who hates lying so much, she must be pretty good at it. There’s no way she’s innocent.

Still, Lila has no choice but to playfully bat her eyes and practically coo at the suggestion. “You’re all just so wonderful! I would love that, of course!”

A pen snaps in her hands, and the ink covers the knee of her leggings. But her forced smile doesn’t falter for a second, lest she want to draw unwanted attention.

---

Marinette is naive to leave her backpack by itself, without a single eye to watch it. It seems that Chloe failed at her job at instilling fear in the school, if Marinette was going around carefree without any sort of protection. But that leaves Lila free to sneak into her bag and plant the answers for the test that they finished taking-

A sudden, squeakish voice interrupts, causing her to drop the paper.

“There you are, Lila!” Rose says cheerfully, “What are you doing?”

Jumping, it takes her a moment to realize she’s dropped the paper. She unfortunately can’t see where it landed, and she finds herself sputtering, sputtering, her response, “O-Oh, Rose! I-I was just… I found Marinette’s backpack!”

“Oh, she was looking for that!” Rose says, picking it up and hugging it to her chest, “That’s awfully nice of you, Lila! Marinette was looking for that.”

“It’s not a big deal! I just wanted to help out a friend, you know?”

“You really are a sweetheart, you know?” Rose says, patting her shoulder, “Still, I think we’re better off just telling Marinette it was in the lost or found.”

She blinks. “What? Why?” 

“Well, we don’t want to give Marinette the wrong idea,” Rose points out, “You might be trying to help her, but knowing her, she’ll probably think you tampered with her stuff.”

“I can’t believe she thinks so little of me,” Lila sniffs, “I’m only trying to help.”

“Oh, we know,” Rose says, patting her shoulder, “And someday she’ll be able to see that. But I think she’s really coming around. Just a little more time and she’ll see just how cool you really are!”

As they leave the area, Lila waits for a moment to sneak back into the backpack, but the opportunity never presents itself. Soon enough, Marinette is reunited with her backpack, and Lila knows from her narrowed leer, she’s bound to search through the bag to make sure it wasn’t tampered with.

--

There is no doubt in her mind that this is deliberate sabotage. Marinette said something to get these goons to follow her around and interrupt at the most opportune and least convenient moments. Plan after plan, ruined because they “don’t want Marinette getting the wrong impression of her!” 

Well, with any luck, that was going to stop today.

She is quick to follow Marinette into the bathroom and pin her against the walls.

“So, you think you’re so smart, huh? Getting your friends to keep an eye on me and keep you out of trouble?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Stop lying!” Lila shouts, “Playing stupid isn’t your forte! I know you said something about me to them to ruin my plans! Well, guess what? I have plenty of methods that’ll get you expelled.”

“Just what the hell do you think you’re doing, Lila?” Alya’s booming voice calls out, holding a phone in front of her. Behind her are Alix, Mylene, Rose and Juleka, who all share darkened expressions and are ready to voice their distaste. She has to think of something quick if she’s going to recover and get control of the situation again.

“A-Alya,” she stammers, trying to force a smile, “M-Marinette was just, um, she was bullying me! Can you believe it?”

“No, I can’t,” Alya retorts, “Because I just captured footage for the past few minutes of you attacking Marinette in the bathroom and threatening to get her expelled! And after everything we did for you, trying to help you get along with her, especially at Adrien’s suggestion!” She clicks her tongue. 

Blinking, she looks from Marinette back to Alya. Adrien? Adrien was the one to calculate this plan? She supposed it would make some degree of sense - Adrien was hardly the type to get his hands dirty when he had assistants and money to do that for him. Still, there was no way the boy with the least amount of backbone in the entire school would go out of his way to sabotage her, especially not for Marinette.

“You’re a liar,” Lila hisses, before trying to smile again, “Adrien would never suggest something so diabolical.”

“Since when was trying to help people get along diabolical?” Alix points out, “If anyone is headed toward the realm of villainy and bullying, it’s you. Anything else you want to confess to?”

And for once, Lila’s out of stories to spin.

[s-mething-mbti]

Hiya! I just discovered your blog and was wondering if you could help try to type me (sorry this is pretty long)

1. I’m currently pretty torn between the intuitive introverts. I was able to narrow it down to INTJ, INFJ or INTP. I’m about 97.2% sure I use Ni. The only thing that’s giving me a bit of doubt is I find myself occasionally learning for the sake of learning which I’ve found is a traditionally Ne trait. Despite this I’m still pretty sure I use Ni as when I go down a rabbit hole and start learning for the sake of learning its always about a topic that interests me or is entertaining. I won’t waste my time learning about something I find mundane or drab. I resonate a lot with Ni’s “aha” moments where the correct answer simply pops into my head or a vision suddenly seems clear or a plot holes solution suddenly seems painstakingly obvious. I also resonate with starting out with a broader range of information/ possibilities and narrowing it down to one or two things. Another intuitive thing I highly relate to is living in the future. If almost never living in the present, and a constantly fixate on the future. I have a distinct, clear, and well thought out plan for the next 20 years (give or take).

Where I run into a bit of trouble is when I try to figure out which judging functions I predominantly use. It honestly feels like I use them all (though I know you’re only supposed to be able to use two well). For example I plan out everything, and set deadlines for myself. My desk often seems really messy to others especially when I’m doing art. This isn’t because I don’t value cleanliness, but because it simply makes more sense to keep all my art supplies out rather than having to spend at least fifteen minutes taking them out and then putting them away only to take them right back out the next day. I set goals based off of easily measurable, external things such as time, or grades. I make daily to do lists that outline everything I’ll need to do in the day, and some stuff to focus on if I have extra time. With my to do list I also plan out the approximate time each thing should take. When coming up with a scientific theory, I take others opinions/theories and test them against each other, and current scientific laws in order to formulate the most probable theory. External opinions (in a scientific/ logical manner) mean a lot to me (I don’t really care about how people that aren’t my friends think of me). To me these things seem very Te. But then I’m always smiling and am a fairly warm person. I want my friends to be happy, and I want to help others. I despise emotionally driven conflict(though I love debates), and while I’m not afraid to disrupt it if it threatens my morals/ is promoting something blatantly wrong (factually or morally) I do really harmony. These seem like pretty Fe things to me. As for Fi, I rarely share my negative emotions, preferring to deal with them predominantly alone. While I may not talk about them much I also have EXTREMELY strong morals. If something is crossing them I’m not going to simply ignore it for the sake of harmony. While I tend to be private I do try to be as authentic as possible. My morals are derived by information I’ve collected and decisions I’ve made myself, rather than being derived by ‘the groups’ collective morals if that makes sense. To me these things appear to be very Fi. As for Ti, sometimes I enjoy learning simply for the sake of learning. The knowledge may have no practical use to me but if I find it interesting or want to learn about it I can devote hours to it. I try and come to the most logical/accurate conclusion possible, and when I’m offering advice I may offer additional advice that takes different variables into account. The truth is really important to me as well.

2. Reading. I absolutely ADORE reading(specifically fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian books or research/scientific articles about topics that interest me). For reference there was a period of time when I had some free time and I was reading 2 or 3 books a day? Read maybe 50 books in the span of 20 days? But yeah I absolutely love reading. Just he way the book sucks you in and deposits you and a completely new world full of wonder and disaster and ugh it’s just magnificent. And don’t even get me started on impeccable character development and eeee. The way rereading a book feels like you’re reconnecting with an old best friend or going back to your childhood home and *sobs*. I also LOVE trying to predict plot twists and character deaths. Most of the time I can predict things correctly and idk it’s really fun to just try and figure out what’s going to happen before the big reveal. And the rush of satisfaction you get when you’ve guessed something right- it also helps me brace for character deaths (sorta. For example I knew *the* death in the final empire [by Brandon Sanderson] was coming since nearly the very beginning [I had my suspicions since the moment vin was introduced] but I still sobbed when the character died. [a tad off topic but what caused me to cry wasn’t the death itself but another characters reaction to it. This is often the case I find. A death of a character I love leaves me feeling empty but what typically gets me to cry is the others reactions- for thus reason funerals usually make me cry. I should also add that I only cry when I’m alone. I’ve cried around people (that aren’t my parents) a grand total of 1 time.]

Uh and daydreaming. I’m almost always daydreaming. Ie. if my brain was a search engine or whatever one tab would be reality and I would consecutively have at lest 20 other tabs open. Some of then playing videos (daydreams) others supplying music(if I’m not actively listening to real music my brain cycles through songs I have memorized. Occasionally does this with book scenes too if I’m bored [yes, I memorize some of my favourite scenes, word for word, so I can play them like a movie in my head when I, bored) others containing random info (just me thinking random stuff) etc.

3. I guess how to solve some problems? Wether it’s a math or science problem, or an argument between friends, figuring out how to solve things has always been something I’m decently good at. Math and science just. Make sense. And then with issues between people I’m good at looking at different perspectives (even ones that I don’t agree with) and playing out different scenarios/ possible outcomes of different approaches. This lets me come up with a solution that will successfully solve the problem with the least amount of negative ramifications involved

4. Hmm maybe being present? I honestly feel like life is passing me by and I’m just immobilized on the sidelines. Im so far into the future that I kinda forget to actually *live* every once in a while.

5. Honesty? Truth? Morals? These topics are all really interesting as they can be kinda subjective. The line between honesty and cruelty is so small. What is truth? Cause while yes, we have some set truths (such as the earth is orbiting the sun) so many ‘truths’ are simply subjective and completely depend on ones perspective. And morals my goodness. The stormlight archive is a really fun series that plays around with things like what is justice? And honour? I won’t get into it now but it brings up so many really interesting questions regarding morals.

6. Perspective . I think perspective is such a fascinating thing. Just. Different opinions. Seeing the world through completely different lenses. Interpreting the same thing in utterly different ways. When toying around with an idea I find it really fun to try and imagine opposing perspectives. While I can find different perspectives really interesting, they can also well... get on my nerves to say the least. Sometimes someone perspective is just? So blatantly wrong? And has absolutely no factual evidence backing it up? And part of me wants to just just scream and it would be so much easier if everyone just. Assessed the facts in front of them instead of making wild accusations or whatever without anything to support them. But yeah overall I think perspectives are really cool and they’re part of what helps to make the world diverse and life so much less interesting without different perspectives.

The future. I’ve found a bunch of my friends find thinking about the future stressful but if I’m being honest I find solace in thinking about the future. Having things planned out and knowing what I intend to do/ where I want to go takes off so much stress. I lowkey live in the future and I honestly cannot wait till it comes, and I achieve my goals. While I might be a bit scared the future excites me so much more than it’ll ever scare me.

7. Maybe add some more stuff about the judging functions and feelings and thinking etc . I absolutely adore science and math. I literally do math for fun. I’m currently aiming to get my PhD in astrophysics.

Not sure if this is relevant at all but my biggest (harmless) pet peeves are my grandmother’s door stopper (it always gets stuck in the door and then u can’t get it out and the door won’t close properly- I have an unhealthy amount of hatred for that thing AHAHJSEJKSMDJDJDJJ) and when people say some variant of “you did good”. Like nO NO YOU DID NOT DO gOoD. YOU DID W E L L (Anyways theres my little mini rant).

I’m my friend groups therapist (sorta). While I’m really not good with words and recycle the same three responses I always let everyone know that I’m here for them and they can talk to me without judgement etc. While I really don’t know what to say or do I try my best because I care about my friends and want to help them. I love them and so I want them to be able to be happy. Im always smiling (though this is more so because people don’t ask me how I’m doing when I look happy than because I’m genuinely happy. Most of the time I’m he farthest thing from that). I’m a pretty warm person who’s always happy to help, however I’m very introverted. I haven’t had a single conversation with the majority of people in my class (I’ve had a convo with maybe 5. Talk to 2 regularly. There are 26 people in my class). I never express negative emotions (with the exception of stress- I panic intensely in the 5 minutes immediately before taking a test as this helps me to completely turn off my nerves while I’m writing the exam. I may also make a joke or two about my negative emotions with close friends). I should also add that when making decisions I value logic more and think thinks through thoroughly, examining the pros and cons etc. While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision. If I’m feeling really emotional and I need to make a decision I will postpone deciding until I feel more levelheaded. I’m really not impulsive in the slightest.

Thank you so much!!

INTJ

Living in the future rather than the present and your comfort in that sapce, your ability for and enjoyment of making predictions, your ability to really understand and try on different perspectives you don’t necessarily agree with, your focus on “ramifications” (aka future implications) while problem solving - this all points to high Ni.

You also show a Te preference - goals based on external metrics, to-do lists for daily tasks, logic based on the outer world (external opinion). When you said “While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision” - that is a clear cut definition of Te over Fe preference.

Your tertiary Fi shows through here as well - willing to disrupt harmony if it upsets your morals, your morals being personally derived, needing to understand your emotions while alone. And lastly, your statement about “forgetting to live” from being in the future is pretty textbook inferior Se. 

[theatricalities]

⧼   A mask of perfect innocence hiding the machiavellian intentions forever lurking beneath the surface — the ace up your sleeve, the trick coin with one side weighing heavier than its opposite because chance is simply a game that’s far too risky for the likes of you; the claw marks left on absolutely anything and everything in your wake — it’s not desperation that makes you cling so fervently to the objects of your desire as much as it’s your own way of ensuring survival; the self-imposed solitude clouding your ocean eyes  — questions of identity and belonging are forever at the heels of your every decision, begging you to turn back before it’s too late.   ⧽ 

  ━━   hey, isn’t that ZEPHYRINE TRAVERS ? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the 24 year old part-Veela WITCH is a SLYTHERIN alumnus who has gone on to be an ACTRESS IN THE WIXEN WORLD. i’ve heard they can be quite AUDACIOUS & BEGUILING, but i don’t know…they came off very EXPLOITATIVE and DELUSIVE in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it?

(  takes a hiatus...comes back with a new character  )

Heya ghouls, gals, and nonbinary pals! It’s me, ya girl. Zephyrine is my second little child to enter the group and I’m real wild about her! She’s inspired by DE idea #17 which you can find listed here!  Obviously, Zeph is an OC, but her tie to canon is that she’s the daughter of Travers, the Death Eater who killed Marlene McKinnon and family. Also, because I just don’t know how to write contented characters, Zeph’s a bit of a wreck, too — has some daddy issues, wants more than the world can offer, doesn’t have a true sense of self...but she’s got great fashion !

Below is Zephyrine’s bio and general information. Wanted connections can be found here ( very under construction rn ) and they’ll be updated as play progresses! Please feel free to pm me here or on discord ( debaucherie#6347 ) if you’d like to plot ✿

BEFORE THE WAR — “ Everyone wants something...”

[ trigger warnings for death, murder; ]

On the night that marked Zephyrine Travers’ birth, the world in return exalted her upon arrival, singing the praises of the newborn babe as boldly as a songbird in spring.

Or — that was the tale upon which her mother raised her, and it was one the girl found fitting enough to believe, even if all the world around spoke to the contrary. After all, her father (whose only claim to the term was in the scientific sense alone) created so empty a home that such fantastical ideas were perhaps the only source of hope that the young girl could find. At the age of two, Zephyrine and her family were quietly removed from their ancestral home as her father was sentenced to Azkaban for the murder of Marlene McKinnon. She and her mother were stripped of all riches, no matter the fact that the young girl continued the bloodline of one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. 

And so, life continued on in this way, with little yarns of fantasy spun each and every night in the dreariness of their one-room hovel, spoken in assuring whispers as they cooked by candlelight or repaired a worn and weathered dress when there was no money to replace it instead. Despite the woe-be-gone skirts and helpless shoes, she was determined that no one should know about the unexpected poverty that marked her home life, and walked into the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with every intent on looking the part of the Travers name even if it was in name alone that she remained connected  —  going so far as to insist to the Sorting Hat that she was meant to be in Slytherin, as her family had been for centuries, even when it argued she was better suited to Ravenclaw instead. 

In many ways, her adolescence was a long, drawn-out course in the art of convincing others — she could manifest a stream of tears to reassure a fellow Slytherin that she truly felt for her father just as easily as she could feign prolonged wooziness to avoid Flying class for a week. She flashed her blessedly charming smile across the House tables in the Great Hall, befriended everyone and anyone while still keeping them at arm’s length, and convinced even the most doubtful that she was an invaluable creature — not because of her name or the weight it still carried in certain circles, but because she believed herself to be and would not rest until it was an undeniable, unequivocal truth.

At sixteen, however, the meager world she’d known her whole life shattered entirely, its fragments not pieced together with the loving touch of her mother, but instead the fearsome presence of her father, who broke out of Azkaban along with ten other Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestrange. Unsurprisingly, he was asked by Lord Voldemort to prove his loyalty, and continued his murderous warpath — but instead of getting caught this time, he ensured that another would take his place. Zephyrine’s mother, innocent as a dove, was framed for his crimes and swiftly locked up in Azkaban, and Zander Travers was restored all riches seized upon his arrest.

By seventeen, Zephyrine had all the hallmarks of the dreams her mother raised her on : wealth far beyond her dreams, a manor estate fit for royalty and all the accompanying fanfare upon being properly introduced into a society of Death Eaters, but lost her mother in the process to a nightmare come true — the very woman who had instilled in the girl so great a belief in the impossible, that even this seemed like something Zephyrine could undo. 

She now balanced quite a precarious act, appearing to her father as his perfect little Death Eater in training, while turning spy for the Order in exchange for their help in freeing her mother once the War was won. 

AFTER THE WAR. — “...and once you know what they want, you know how to move them.”

When the time came, however, her mother was one of the many forgotten in the shadow of the Order’s triumph, relegated to little more than a broken promise as she rotted in Azkaban along with her husband, once again sentenced for his crimes. Their daughter, however, now took up the mantle of the new head of the Travers family, left with the ruins of her father’s blood-soaked legacy. In a world rebuilding itself, there was no game to be played when each side no longer had a reason to fight — and so, she waited. Seethed, more accurately, and busied herself with cleaning up the Travers name as time passed by. After receiving a formal training with the Wixen Academy of Dramatic Arts, she cemented herself firmly as a darling in the wixen theatre scene. In truth, it was all too easy. For twenty years, she’d practiced different ways to be believed — not to lie, she’d argue to herself, for any of those perceived lapses in truth had simply been her playing a character in order to get what she needed, and the silver-tongued sweetheart she portrayed to the public was no different.  To believe was the notion her mother instilled in her, but to be believed was one she’d determined necessary for herself, even if it meant losing any sense of self in the process. And so, upon hearing word of a reformed Death Eater legion under Bellatrix Lestrange’s leadership, she appealed to their cause, vowing that she could easily become a spy within the group which once held her loyalty — in exchange, once more, for the release* of her mother. Her allegiances, of course, are unknown to the public at large. In fact, when asked by the press on such matters, she voices her support for the Ministry and their efforts at preventing another tragedy to ever mark the Wixen World’s history again. Naturally, it’s all an act, as it has always been, and she’ll keep playing the game for as long as it take to reunite* with her mother, gain the most powerful of allies, and secure her own survival. 

[ * — while i’d love to believe that zeph’s mom is still alive, i think mrs. travers is likely to have perished rather soon after being wrongfully imprisoned. however, i believe that this information was kept from zeph as a way of controlling her, first by her father, then perhaps by the order ( i’d have to actually plot this one out w/an order member for this to be true ), but certainly by bellatrix and the DE clan. ]

BASICS.

FULL NAME:  Zephyrine Travers NAME MEANING: Zephyrine is of French origin and means ‘west wind’ ; Travers is of English origin and means ‘to cross’  NICKNAME(S):  Zeph ( used by family and close friends, only ) GENDER IDENTITY: Demigirl DATE OF BIRTH: 29 October, 1995 ( i put the wrong age in my app bc maths are not my strong suit, so technically Zeph is 24 but will turn 25 soon ) BIRTHPLACE:  Travers Estate, Hampshire, England  CURRENT PLACE OF DWELLING:  London, England  SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  pansexual panromantic LANGUAGE(S): English, French, basic Latin

LIFE.

OCCUPATION: Actress  EDUCATION: Homeschooled from ages 4 to 11; attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry from ages 11 to 18; attended the Wixen Academy of Dramatic Arts from ages 19 to 21. SOCIOECONOMIC LEVEL ( GROWING UP ):  Born upper class, but lower middle class from ages 2 - 16, upper class ages 16 - onward. SOCIOECONOMIC LEVEL ( CURRENTLY ): Upper class. RELIGION: Atheist

MAGICAL.

BLOOD TYPE: Not quite pureblood — but, publicly pureblood  SPECIES: 1/4 Veela  WAND TYPE: Hawthorn, unicorn hair core, 13″, reasonably supple SKILL LEVEL: Reasonably proficient, but a distinct knack for transfiguration and healing magic. Is adept at DADA, but often flees from the scene of battle before needing to utilize curses, jinxes, etc. PATRONUS: Incapable of producing a corporeal Patronus, but if she could, it would take the form of a shrike. BOGGART: Herself — albeit, a different, unrecognizable version of herself. In all her lying and betraying and such, Zeph has lost sense of herself and just doesn’t know the depths she might go to in order to get what she wants — and so I think it’s very possible that her biggest fear is the worst possible version of herself, the one that resembles her father in his uncaring bloodlust, messy and indiscriminate and entirely lacking in the nuance she prides herself on. AMORTENTIA: Fresh popcorn, the collar of a well-worn leather jacket, the scent of a newspaper so fresh the ink smudges one’s fingertips MIRROR OF ERISED: TBD. HOGWARTS HOUSE: Slytherin ( the Sorting Hat debated for approximately nine minutes between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, but ultimately decided on Slytherin because Zephyrine asked it to. ) FAVORITE SUBJECT:  Transfiguration. LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT:  Arithmancy. CLUBS / EXTRACURRICULARS: The Slug Club ( Year 7 ), Theatre Club ( Years 2 - 7 ), Keres Club ( ages 22 - present )

RELATIONS.

PARENT(S): Zander & Odette ( nee Lynd ) Travers SIBLING(S): Two older sisters, both deceased, from her father’s first marriage, and a younger sibling born one-two years after her from her father’s affair. SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): tbd. EX SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): tbd. CHILDREN:  none. PET(S):  Two cats, Beryl and Belinda. 

PHYSICAL.

HEIGHT: 5′7″ HAIR: silver-blonde EYES: blue BODY MODIFICATION(S): Three piercings in either ear. Despite Bellatrix’s insistence, she has staved off getting the Dark Mark under the guise that it would harm her status as an actress. In truth, she simply would hate to get something so permanent when her loyalties are rather, well, impermanent. NOTABLE SCARS / BIRTHMARKS:  No scars / noticeable birthmarks. A scattering of freckles. GLASSES / CONTACTS: Only when required for an acting role, but not usually needed. CLOTHING STYLE: Quite a soft, ‘feminine’ style — lace, ribbons, ruffles, pastels — but there’s always one or two little things hinting at something decidedly more aggressive ( platinum collar-tips pointed and sharpened, metallic makeup, earrings in the design of tiny daggers, black lace gloves hiding perfectly manicured claws ) ; zephyrine also wears her mother’s choker, which is platinum-plated and has a handshake as a clasp. DOMINANT HAND: Ambidextrous

PERSONALITY.

ZODIAC: Scorpio ( sun ) — observant, expressive, secretive, vengeful, enigmatic // Gemini ascendant, Capricorn moon PERSONALITY TYPE: ENTJ, The Commander — confident, charismatic, strategic, ruthless, stubborn, emotionally naive MORAL ALIGNMENT:  Neutral Evil TEMPERAMENT: Phlegmatic  ELEMENT:  Water VICE(S): Wrath VIRTUE(S):  Diligence CHARACTER PARALLELS: Dahlia Hawthorne ( Ace Attorney ), Amy March ( Little Women ), Margaery Tyrell ( ASOIAF ), Vesper Lynd ( James Bond ), Eva Perón ( history / ‘EVITA’ the musical & film )

[herondalelucies]

oh and uhm just to keep u busy: all of them for the captain 🙈🙈

🩸 - Does your OC believe in blood being thicker than water? (meaning family relationships and loyalties are the most important)

pre-crowned she def did, but i say thru out the crowned timeline found family hits hehe (i really just integrated found family everywhere and made it so everyone loves each other and are most loyal to their friends)

✂️ - What kind of thing would have your OC cut someone out of their life? How likely are they to let someone back in?

O: i’d like to take the moral ground and say “you can’t murder someone they love!” but then i’d be a hypocrite and the entire storyline of crowned would be void. i think you’d have to be a horrible person who doesn’t care about anyone else in order to not be in bryce’s life. (the distinction is that tanashi cares about people, so bryce can see the good side of him)

🎭 - Does your OC show different sides of themselves to different people?

yes of course! when in Captain mode she has to be stoic, on the alert for danger, and throughout the story she’s still trying to retain this bc she likes to feel in control and is planning for the future. but there are moments of vulnerability with tanashi as the two of them fall in love <3

🩺 - Does your OC accept help easily? Are they willing to admit when they need help?

yes, actually, because being a captain means she has to know how to balance roles and do what’s best for the safety of her charge. bryce isn’t afraid to accept karina’s help bc she’s proud, but rather bc she does have to be suspicious with karina at first, same with tanashi

💡 - How does your OC enact plans? Do they plan down to the smallest details, or do the wing it?

plan, plan, plan! it’d be a disaster if she ever tried to wing anything because that’s how royals get assassinated. 

🌋 - What’s your OCs temper like? Are they a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

slow boil! i honestly don’t think i’ve written a scene of bryce exploding, because she’s very much into control so she doesn’t give in to temper that easily.

⏰ - What is your OC like at timekeeping? Are they punctual, or always running late?

punctual! you be late as a guard then well,,, things go wrong

🎁 - What kind of gift-giver are they? Do they give thoughtful gifts? Expensive gifts? Practical gifts?

i answered in the last ask!

📎 - How organised is your OC? Do they keep on top of responsibilities, or leave things to the last minute?

on top of responsibilities! same reasoning for all the other questions xD 

🧸 - On a scale of 1 - 10, how ‘soft’ is your OC? 1 being the edgiest of edges and 10 being a literal teddy bear that cries at everything? (Bonus questions, where on the scale would your OC place themselves, and where would they like to be on the scale?)

on the surface, bryce would be like a 4, with the same reasonings of lucy, but inside she’s more leaning towards a 7. she’d like to think she’s a 5 though, so she can be balanced and try not to let emotions steer her while also being caring and loving

💬 - Is your OC much of a talker? Do they only speak when spoken to? (Or not even then?) Do they ever talk over others?

a talker! she’s usually at the forefront of conversations, always ready to plan and take control whenever things go wrong. people look up to her for advice too

🌅 - What is your OCs favourite time of day? Are they a morning person or a night owl?

morning ! the start of a new day, new possibilities, another day of routine and being good at what you’re doing; she’s too tired at night to do anything but get good rest

🥦 - Does your OC eat healthily or live off junk food?

i explained this with tanashi, but i’d say healthy! she grew up in the palace, had ready access to food, but indulged in sweets sometimes with raya when they were kids. but healthy foods mean a better diet which means better fitness which means you’re probs going to do better at being a guard

🍹 - Does your OC drink? If so, what’s their drink of choice?

nope~ i don’t drink so it’s hard for me to write something i haven’t experienced. in reality, she’s probs had like wine or light alcohol at parties, because palace functions always do, but i’ll be very real that i don’t actually know anything about chinese alcohol

🍺 - What kind of drunk are they? (e.g. talkative, sleepy, flirty etc.)

idk O: can’t even tell you what kind of drunk i am so this is too much thinking xd

eden LOL i love you <3 wow this was a lot of info xd 

[nomorelonelydays]

Kiss (like my heart is chasing me down)

-

(Part 1/3) | 2/3 – holding my breath with a baseball bat

-

Sidney’s boyfriend’s name is Matt. 

He’s about 6′3, 6′4, has a distinct guffaw that only comes out when he’s a little drunk, loves the beach and hates the snow, and works weird hours at the zoo as a vet. He met Sidney when Sidney had been browsing the penguin’s exhibit back in February, charmed him with a few sweet words, and it quickly snowballed into a date night. He’s awful sweet on Sidney, always picking up his favorite snack at the local bakery (cream-filled croissants) just because. The only con about him is that he doesn’t really care much for hockey.

At least, that’s about as far as Geno knows.

Because Matt doesn’t exist.

“What else did you tell him? How did Flower get your number?” Sidney demands. 

Taylor makes a noncommittal grunt. “I told his wife I could babysit when I was in town a few years ago, so I got Vero’s number. You know, before they all dipped to Vegas. I never did end up babysitting--”

“And you--never mind that--what else did you say about---Matt?” He can’t believe Taylor gave him a name. 

“Well, I got a text from Vero going like, ‘So how’s Sidney doing? I heard he met somebody new from Kris.’ She added a smiley face and everything. So I said, he’s great, and that Matt’s a really nice guy--”

“Oh my God--”

“--and then I guess I panicked because she called instead, and she sounded nice but really interested, so you know, had to make it believable. So yeah. Matt’s a zoo vet and you met him at the zoo. Penguin exhibit. Real meet cute. I also said he’s a hunk--”

“Taylor, no--”

“But I don’t think Vero knew I was joking around, so I think she told Flower who called Tanger back, and then maybe it got back to Jake who--”

“--mentioned him by name today, yeah.” 

The NHL is just a big fucking grapevine of gossipy bitches, Sidney thinks. It’s a disaster. Jake had come up to Sidney this morning during breakfast and casually asked, ‘Yo, how’s Matt doing?’ like he’s talking about the weather. And Sidney had given him a little squint of ‘the fuck?’ until Jake elaborated. Geno had been watching the two of them like a hawk from the corner of his eyes the entire time, then he’d left the table in a huff shortly after.

But to be fair, he’s doing that around Sidney a lot lately. Hovering over him, like he wants to say something. But always backing away at the last second, like he’s purposely distancing himself.

It really, really sucks.

“That’s all, right?” Sidney asks urgently. 

“That’s it, I swear.” She ponders a little bit. “Oh, and I said he’s really shy so they’ll probably never meet him ever. I emphasized that.”

Okay. “No more Matt talk to anyone. I’m literally begging you.”

“I think you should just come clean to your team.”

“It’s been three weeks. You gave him a name. He’s baptized. I’m in too deep.”

The line goes quiet. “Yeah, you’re right. Forget I said anything.” She exhales, a crackly noise. “You’ll just have to phase him out of your life. Just say you broke up. Your schedules didn’t work out. He chewed really loudly and it got on your nerves. He ate all your peanut butter. Stuff like that.”

Which is, admittedly, not a terrible idea. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that,” Sidney says.

“I don’t know why you said you had a boyfriend in the first place.”

So there’s that. One more week passes with no Matt-related incidents. Geno continues to avoid talking about Matt, and Sidney doesn’t volunteer any more information. He’s puttering around his kitchen aimlessly, then decides he’s going to break the news to Flower today. He’s going to say, ‘Hey. It didn’t work out with, uh, Matt. I wanted you to be the first to know because you were pretty much the first person Taylor lied to and I’m trying to do damage control.” 

Not verbatim, but something to that effect. And then Flower’s personal gossip network will figure itself out. Easy.

But the moment he picks up his phone, it starts to flash.

New Message from Geno

Hey. Can I call?

Geno never wants to call. He prefers to text with eyeless smileys and leave cryptic, platonic messages like ‘Sidd im bored. u com over my place, i have steak i cook’ that makes Sidney’s stomach do metaphorical somersaults. So something is wrong.

Sure. Are you okay?

The phone buzzes immediately. Sidney takes a breath before he answers. “Hey, G.”

“Sid.” He hates how Geno’s voice still has that effect on him even after all these years. “You eat yet?”

“Uh. Not yet.”

Pause. “You with Matt?”

“Um. No. No, I’m not.”

“Listen, Sid, want to say something.” His voice is strange, a little rehearsed. “Want to say sorry. For how I act.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t say anything about boyfriend. I should say good things, happy you have someone. But I say nothing and act like dick.” He sighs. “I think--I think I’m jealous.”

Sidney’s heart skips a beat, but then he realizes what Geno must have meant. He feels himself start to deflate. 

“You’ve literally dated more people than I have,” Sidney says dryly, hiding his disappointment. He’s become very good at it. “You’re a catch.” 

Geno makes a frustrated noise. “No, I mean--”

“Besides, Matt and I broke up,” Sidney blurts out. Why the fuck did he say that?

Geno’s dead quiet. Then, sharply, “What?”

“It didn’t work out. He didn’t--” Fuck, what should he say? “He didn’t want to stay.”

Geno sucks in a breath. The next words come as a low, angry growl, “Matt say that to you?”

“What? I, uh--I mean, I guess? He--”

“I come over.” There’s keys jingling in the background; Sidney can almost imagine Geno pulling on his coat and heading out the door. “You wait, I’m there soon. We talk face to face.”

“Why?”

“Sid, you--” The jingling sound stops. When Geno speaks again, his voice is fragile, hesitant. “Sid, I know you say we not family. I know that. I know. But you always gonna be more to me.”

“Geno--” The reminder hits him like a ton of bricks. “Geno, I’m--I didn’t mean it, God, I was such an ass, I--”

“No, you right. It’s not my business. But I’m here when you need me. I wait for you more than ten years already, and maybe I wait for you forever because I’m big coward. But you know--”

“What are you talking about?” It comes out as a whisper, because it’s all Sidney can manage.

“Sid, you know this. Everyone know this,” Geno tone is raw. “You know I love you for years.”

[imreallyfkinsorry-blog]

Honestly right now i feel like shit. This was the last thing i ever wanted to happen. Did you really have to block/unfriend me on everything. Do u really not want to be my friend that badly, i was really upset u didnt even message me once over these 4 days like u wudnt even know, but i accepted it because of u and ur situation, i was ok with not talking to u for months if it atleast meant i can still be your friend, i was so happy for you when i saw ur results like u wudnt believe, i almost called you the second i saw, im still sooo proud of you, i was so excited when i heard u reached this morning i wanted to be the first one to hug u and congratulate you but u cudnt even look me in the eye, that really hurt, i mean like really cant i celebrate your achievements with you? Cant i be happy for you? Even after all that i still bought a freakin slice of cheese cake for u just now in massy to surprise you tomorow, but now i saw that im unfriended. Is what im doin really that bad? All the headpats and snacks and stupid jokes, the cup the pens, the kfc, the chinese food, the bestie card the worrying about you, even not messaging you after 4 or on weekends, even when alicia asked about the art supply crap i told her i probably forgot to give u, I really didnt know i was causing u so much pain, those stupid little things made me so happy, like soooo happy at this shit job, i even got super friendly with like everyone in the office so it wudnt be weird when im around you. Like everyone really likes me now like you wudnt believe, everyone just comes up and touches me or makes some joke or pushes me and honestly thats all thanks too you, the fay-cade is serious af, ugh it may sound like im just rambling on but thats because i am just rambling on, this may very well be the last message i send you so im sorry if its long i just have alot to say. I even made a new account since u know im probably blocked. Look tbh i understand y u blocked me and dont want to talk to me outside of work u think this is gonna make ur relationship healthier and perfect and at the end of the day as much as i throw tantrums and bitch about u not messaging me and neglecting me, i still do 100% platonically love you, you are still MY best friend you can block me, unfriend me even pass me straight in the office, nothing is gonna change that,i may not attend your wedding but i want you too know i want you to be happy,i genuinely do, you fucking deserve that, you deserve the best tho i not gonna lie and say ur not an asshole or very immature or that u treat me like shit, but jesus tap dancing christ its those little things that you do that make me soo happy, i just want you to be sooo happy and i want to thank you for being my friend, like really, thank you Lorrie. I can never hate you....

Nvm u made me cry today,i was setting up this cool joke from a tiktok vid i saw and u just ripped me apart, i had to go outside to play it off, now stacy ann thinks i hav corona or some. I was dissapointed in u in that moment but i will never hate you so u can hate me all you want, act agitated with me all you want, act like im bothering you all you want, im still gonna pat ur head, smile with you, bring you snacks and defend you whenever i hear the slightest inkling of someone insulting u. You know what u were being a dick for today im gonna eat your cake now. Btw my friend came to pick me up today thats why i stayed back late then i saw u, were u running from me? Thats kinda freaking depressing and kinda really hurt but still

I DO NOT HATE YOU,

Still i am sooooo fucking proud of you tho, fucking distinctions hoe fucking hell you bad bitch.

Im probably gonna leave JD soon so please please please please dont hate me until then, i cant deal with passing you straight and not talkin to u, we can talk about suppliers and staplers for hours if u want, im just sooo fkin sorry i made u feel like that so please dont hate me, honestly there really is something wrong with me, im trying to work on it.

I started writing this to fkin get everything off my chest and tell you y i hate u but i cant, i really cant.if today or tomorrow something happens to either of us i dont want today to be the way we remember each other.

You're my friend, you always will be, even if everyone is against you, even if its 40 years in the future, even if you never talk to me again, you can always come to me, i will always be there for you, no matter what.

Btw if u think ghosting me is gonna get u away from me buyin you a birthday present then you dont know me atall.

Can you atleast just add me back on facebook, this actually really bothers me, i really like to see the shit u post once in a while, i promise never to message you and i promise not to post anything so u wont have to see me...please.

If not then ok, im still gonna be down but i dont hate you and i am soo sorry i forced you to have to go this far i really really didnt wanna hurt you. Being your friend has made me so goddamn happy these couple months,like every single day was something to look forward too but if i have to sacrifice my happiness in order for you to be happy,as much as ot fucking hurts, then so be it, I can live with that.

Thank you for being my friend, like truly thank you,that meant so much to me even if it was for a short while. Thank you.

Again im sorry and please dont hate me

Lol now finish the cake.

Im so proud of you, u smart muthafker and im lovin the person your becoming, strong, intelligent and beautiful. You deserve to be happy, you earned that right and i hope you get everything you want. Im praying for it, like to indian jesus and the spagetti monster.

Good bye, i may not come tomorrow.

Pawny stays with me until i leave, no kidnapping or chicken protective services😤

Thank you for everything, thank you for being such an amazing friend and for being there for me I really and truly appreciate it...... and please dont not forget me.

Add me back😢

[comicteaparty]

November 23rd-November 29th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from November 23rd, 2019 to November 29th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

How do you personally deal with hiatuses, both in regards to planned and unplanned breaks?

carcarchu

I feel very guilty when I go on unplanned hiatuses and I avoid going to tapas and webtoons at all until I've got an update completed. i'm scared to see comments complaining about the lack of updates and how many people have unfollowed me in the meantime. i also find it very hard to bounce back from a hiatus. when i've got a groove going it's easier to keep the momentum than it is to start again after a prolonged absence

Deo101

Kinda a rough question haha. I don't go on any hiatuses other than unplanned ones. It's only out of necessity, in the past I did it if school/health got rough, and I'd try to be back the next week with a normal update!!! However.. I have a second comic which has been on hiatus for a year. I miss making it, but I lost the person who I was working with on it so it has been hard to start again. I'm kind of not really dealing with it, as the anxiety of starting again gets worse the longer it's been! But, I know that the only way to get out of it is to just do it, and I have to do it as soon as I can or it will never end. So, I just work my way through them to get back on schedule.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So far I've only taken one official hiatus, after I finished the second chapter of the comic - I worked on the next chapter's pages for the next two months, then came back and luckily haven't been off hiatus since.

I have another planned hiatus after the next chapter, and this time, I'll be accepting guest art to fill the space - it's not something I was aware was a thing until it was suggested to me. It'll be interesting to come up with a cool way to feature any art I receive. I like the idea of highlighting other artists' work while I'm taking a breather!

eli [a winged tale]

There’s such a huge mental barrier for me when it comes to announcing a hiatus but ultimately life and health come first. I have a comic on hiatus since 2015 (one day it’ll come back haha), and sometimes things happen to push my current one back for updates. I want to tell myself that since I’m producing free content, it should be for fun and not a source of stress (despite industry standards and what I want to achieve). It’s a balance. I think the readers who wait are the ones I am most grateful and treasure.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I have chronic health issues that can be very debilitating, so having hiatuses is something I have to deal with all the time. I might be able to update regularly for a few months, but eventually and inevitably, a sudden hiatus will come. It’s something that causes me a lot of stress on top of an already stressful situation. Readers leave, and then when I’m well enough to work, I don’t just have to churn out as many pages as I can while I can, I also have to rebuild my audience all over again. I hate going on hiatuses and having such an unstable update schedule, but there’s not much I can do about it.(edited)

Cronaj

Aw man... I also have been dealing with chronic health conditions, so I feel you. I finally got treatments that have been working, so I'm able to update consistently now. That being said, I was on hiatus for a year and a half until just recently. It really did destroy the momentum I was building up, and readers I had accumulated. Because of that, I am determined not to take long hiatuses anymore (a week-a month at most) and to announce it beforehand. I do find it important to prioritize health and mental well-being above my comic, but I find my mental health suffering every time I neglect to update my comic, so I find a middle ground by taking short breaks occasionally. Moral of the story: build up a buffer, kids. Don't be like me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, same. I'm still trying to get a diagnosis, but I'm kind of an outlier in medicine- my body chemistry is very atypical. I build up those buffers whenever I can, but they always run out sooner or later. I love making comics so much that my mental health suffers, too. I get depressed if I'm not making progress on my comics. I'm really glad you've found a treatment that helps, though! I hope I can too, one of these years.

eli [a winged tale]

What is this mystical buffer everyone keeps talking about

I jest. Keep up the great work everyone! Everyone is trying their best and that’s most important

Capitania do Azar

I always take a small hiatus on the end of each chapter so I can rest and work on writing the next one, usually for a couple months.

sssfrs

I generally take my time with updates anyway. I've lost followers after hiatuses (strangely people only actually started unfollowing me after I came back with a new update) but I'm more focused on getting more of my comic done and progressing towards it being a finished work than keeping a consistent audience. Even though it would be nice...

DanitheCarutor

Fff coincidentally I'm going on a planned hiatus in December. At the end of every chapter I go on one to get feedback, and have some downtime to better plan the next chapter, as well as to get build some buffer. Usually during this time I either hold a Q&A, or do a call for guest art/comics, and I only ever plan to be on break for a month. I don't like being away for longer than that, and the intermission stuff (Q&A's, call for guest art) is announced a month or so beforehand, that way no one is scrambling when the scheduled break starts. As far as an unplanned hiatus, I don't usually have any with my current project. There have been times I've missed the posting deadline due to my fulltime job, but would post either once the page is done or the next week. With my old comic I took a lot of unannounced breaks, not so much because I was busy but I was going through a lot of crap, and morale was really low. It didn't help that it was my very first real attempt at making comics, so I had no idea what I was doing, the story was also hot garbage and became more of a chore to work as time went on. Eventually I just stopped, went on perma-hiatus totally unannounced to this day. I should have let my readers know, but I was really ashamed of myself for not wanting to work on the project (I promised I would complete it), and with a bunch of things suddenly happening in my life I forgot. I'll probably have to go in an unannounced break someday. A lot of things can happen, and being a traditional art only comic creator I'll probably end up running out of supplies eventually, needing to scrounge up some money for more. The nice thing is soooome, hopefully most, of my readers would understand? They know my comic is super time consuming, and that I've been working on it nonstop for 4-5 years now, so they should? Maybe? Hopefully that won't happen, though!

keii4ii

For those of you who take a break after each chapter, how many pages go in an average-length chapter?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

depends on how you're planning to set up your story, whether u want to prioritize to certain print sizes, but the general average chapter size is about 30 pages

Cronaj

I hadn't been planning to take a break between chapters, but we'll see what actually happens. I have chapters ranging from 35-50 pages in length(edited)

DanitheCarutor

Not sure how everyone else is, but I wing it with chapter length. The chapter I'm currently capping off will be 57 pages, although 30-45ish pages is preferred.

eli [a winged tale]

47 for me for this first chapter!

keii4ii

Cool! Was mostly asking a "so how frequently do you take scheduled post-chapter breaks" worded differently

sssfrs

I do 8-12.. I wish I could do more

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I am taking a short holiday break (that was actually planned this time) in between Eryl chapters. My Eryl chapters usually run 30-35 pages, and the break will be around..., 3 weeks I think? I can’t remember exactly. I’m probably going to have to put it back on hiatus partway through the chapter when my buffer runs out because of the aforementioned chronic health issues, though.

spacerocketbunny

I've only taken one hiatus and that was just while my site was being built! But even then we were able to have a short extra comic updating on an alternative site for that time being. We've been updating consistently for 5 years and that's thanks to the stability we've been lucky to have and the fact that there's two of us sharing the work. We've been able to work ahead enough so we've never ran out of a buffer, I'm pretty proud of that tbh(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Oh! So you were asking the time frame in which a chapter is finished? Correct me if I'm wrong. Normally each chapter takes about a year to complete, sometimes a couple months more than that. (for me, that is.)

spacerocketbunny

Nothing wrong with a hiatus though, especially after chapter breaks, I think those are pretty good to keep yourself from burning out!

Cronaj

I do 2-3 pages a week, so I finish a new chapter... about every 4-6 months

keii4ii

I appreciate the answers, everyone!

AntiBunny

I answered this one on Twitter, but I'll answer more at length here. FIrst of all I think a distinction should be made between a Hiatus, which is a planned break, and an extended delay, which is more missed updates compounding with each other.

The former is easier to deal with. Announce it with a clear return date.

The latter is rougher. The artist hasn't planned it, and feelings of guilt can make it harder and harder to return. The best thing to do in that case is to again, get out ahead of it. When you're delayed point people to your social media, and keep posting to make it clear you're still working, or if work has halted completely at least keep posting to let them know when you will be working on it again.

Either way I try to avoid even using the word "hiatus" because webcomic readers tend to read it as "abandoned." Sadly they're all too often right to do so.

Cronaj

Yeah, usually, when announcing a hiatus to my readers, I like to use the word "break" instead

It's a bit softer for some reason

You know, I am 95% certain that my readers thought I had abandoned the project—or died—when I disappeared for a year and a half

Because I know that I have gotten invested in a comic, only for the creator to go incognito

And I always wonder... Are they alright?

keii4ii

I usually figure either life got too busy, or the creator outgrew the project. Or both.

AntiBunny

I know. I stopped updating for almost a year because I wasn't happy with the planned ending of Nailbat. I lost readers I still haven't regained over that one.

In retrospect "waiting for inspiration" was not the ideal way to handle that.

Cronaj

Yeah, the fact that I returned at all is pretty crazy, from a reader's perspective(edited)

I've seen more abandoned projects than I have, "Hey sorry guys! Was dealing with stuff, but now I'm back!"

I mean, it happens

But very infrequently in comparison to the previous sadly(edited)

AntiBunny

Combine the fact that not updating is easier than updating, and the guilt of not updating making you feel like your return has to be even more awesome with every missed update, so you build for yourself a unsalable mountain of imagined expectation, and you have a recipe for abandonment.

Cronaj

Yep!

I'm still trying to regain my momentum

And I always feel so bad if I publish a less-than-stellar page

AntiBunny

There's also the fact that people grow and change. One problem with long form story webcomics is that an artist can outgrow their story.

Cronaj

That is so true

AntiBunny

The most successful tend to be the ones that can grow and change with the artist.

Cronaj

As a novelist as well, I can say that is incredibly accurate

I have dropped so many novels after writing 30k words or more

The only project I've stayed faithful to for over 5 years IS my current comic project

AntiBunny

Sluggy Freelance for example is very different today than when it began. Gunnerkrigg Court as well, and I like to think mine can too.

Though I'll admit I do have a character I've outgrown, and it bugs me people want to see her again.

Cronaj

I think that's just a desire for closure, and for things to come together in the end

AntiBunny

She was more of a comic relief character really. her sort of humor just isn't something I want to write anymore. That kind of edgelord "lol murder," humor isn't something I can write anymore. And unlike the core cast who've grown so that they don't have to come from the same place I was years ago, she hasn't.

I may be drifting off topic a bit there. Anyway I think it serves well as a reminder that for a long term story the characters need to grow with the artist to keep a comic going.

keii4ii

Not every story is meant to grow with the trends, and that's 100% fine. Just means you have to accept the risk of potentially outgrowing the project.

Using the word "trends" pretty broadly

Mine is not very adaptable, and I can't imagine making it more adaptable without altering its core. It doesn't make it less worthy as a story, just... yeah, bigger risk

seetherabbit

I always took breaks or "hiatus" way before I ran out of pages I could in theory add to the buffer

that way I could more easly relax

but also so I don't have to take an hiatus in the middle of a story

Pistashi

everyone needs a break sometimes

I've been updating and working constantly not only on my comic, but alto my yt channel and freelance jobs (because money is always welcomed, even tho I HATE FREELANCE WITH ALL MY CORE)

but I feel like I got momentum now and I dont wanna stop suddendly

sometimes I feel exhausted but then one day later or after 10h of sleep Im fine

I'll take a break later for sure, but rn I feel like this weight of responsibility is helping me build my work ethics

because we cant work just when we are inspired, we dont have that luxury :P

we cant overwork either, so we gotta be smart with our breaks and hiatuses

mathtans

I've been on hiatus more times than I want to count. One of those things where not having much of an audience helps... if no one's really saying much, they either continue not to say anything, or suddenly surface to wish you well.

I will say that I like concluding arcs. My first hiatus was when my wife went into hospital for a bit, I said I'd return but didn't know when. Most of my other hiatuses have been at the ends of arcs... and I'll add that while they were breaks from the comic, they weren't from content. I put up a few behind-the-scenes things, explaining backstory, and had a friend write a column for me too. I've seen other comics do similar, or use guest art.

And for those of you wondering "who's this guy", I've been on hiatus since my daughter was born. Meaning we're going on 17 months. (I may not return to comic work. I have another website I run where I do serials that I'm still maintaining.)

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

In most cases I take a hiatus at the end of a chapter. I have taken two official hiatuses and I think there were some shorter, inofficial ones that I had to take because of other obligations like my studies/family issues/freelance work or finishing books for print. Personally I have managed to not get myself too worked up about hiatuses. I'm doing comics for free and I can't live off of them, so it's inevitable to take breaks. Though I have to say I'm starting into a new chapter without having to go on hiatus, which is pretty neat C:

Pistashi

@Phin (Heirs of the Veil) thats niice! its like the more we work on comics the better (and faster) we get, so keeping the momentum between chapters without a hiatus is an awesome thing! Its the little things tbh

also, you're right. its inevitable to take breaks. specially when you're not working full time and can't live off of them. and like @mathtans said, responsibility shows up and sometimes we have to put things aside

like having a daugther! thats awesome dude! hope your family is doing well (and I know you said you might not get back to comics, but if its something you enjoy keep it up when you're free! making comics is fun) ahdksjnd

Neguri-Senpai-Author

I've actually never gone on a hiatus ever since I started really doing my comic. I can't really go on any hiatuses because I market mine as a weekly comic and additionally I have an oddly strong obsession over consistently in my life so I just feel really really weird if I'd do something like a break from my comic even if I needed it ^^; But currently it's not really that bad. I've been consistent with weekly uploads for a bit over a year now (I've started doing it weekly in September of 2018) and I don't plan on going on a hiatus any time soon. Maybe I'll work a bit in advance but I'm not gonna go on a hiatus to get a break

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

@Pistashi Yeah it's really nice when you finally get a little faster because you optimized your workflow

mathtans

@Pistashi Thanks! Family's doing great, but yeah, most of my free time goes to writing rather than drawing these days. We'll see how things play out.

Desnik

I didn't spotlight my hiatus, but when I finally return to acknowledge it, I'd like to have something to show for it, like a new project or 'this is where I am now' or 'This is what the comic meant to me' so that at least my readers get closure

[eurovosion]

 some thoughts on this year’s entries

or i guess just a ranking with comments tacked on

albania - this year’s nf season was a let down for me, partly because a lot of the winning songs weren’t the best on offer, and partly because albania picked first and nothing could live up to it. i love the depth this has, the dark, almost tribal vibes, and most of all i love how they didn’t fuck up the revamp like they usually do. if this is staged correctly, i think this could do really well. 10/10

greece - i feel like this has been overlooked in the wider fandom, which is odd because greek entries are usually pretty polarising, for better or for worse. regardless, i really like this. it’s atmospheric, powerful as hell, and katerine is more than capable of nailing it live. don’t count greece out just yet! 9.5/10

portugal - festival da canção was easily the best nf this year and the portuguese public picked wisely. telemóveis is such an intriguing song with a really curious sound, so traditional yet so modern at the same time. i’m not 100% on the staging, but they have time to figure it out. 9.5/10

spain - la venda wasn’t the song i was rooting for in the selection (rip todo bien, never forgotten) but i’m fully on board with it now. this works so well with a big audience, and you just know that the crowd will be on his side. if this doesn’t go top 10 at the very least i’ll be stunned. 9/10

cyprus - this is just as instant as fuego for me. not sure if tamta will do as well as eleni, but the cypriot delegation has definitely found their winning formula. 9/10

malta - malta is not fucking around this year. this is a verified banger, and their best entry in years, perhaps their best ever. take as many youtube ads as you want, michela, you deserve them. 8.5/10

azerbaijan - without a doubt, azerbaijan is back with a vengeance. you can tell they’re determined to set the record straight and prove that last year was just a blip, because this is great and hopefully the live performance reflects that. 8.5/10

denmark - i really should hate this, but i can’t. it’s so innocent and cheerily optimistic in a way that i can only be jealous of whilst humming along to the chorus. this deserves to do well. 8/10

italy - it took me a little while to warm up to soldi, but once i finally got there i really started to appreciate it. i don’t think it’s a winner, but it’s a very good song, and in the end that’s all that matters. 8/10

san marino - yes, serhat is in my top 10, and what of it? you only wish your fave could write a song in ten minutes and have it go off like this. and yes, if he doesn’t qualify you’ll catch me openly sobbing in the streets for weeks. 8/10

switzerland - an unabashed bop with some actual choreography, but lacking lyrically. then again, so was fuego and that popped off live. he’s also working with the same stage director as eleni, which can only be good news for him. 7.5/10

the netherlands - don’t get me wrong, it’s a very polished song and i’m sure duncan’s great but like... is that it? this is the big fan favourite? i’m very whelmed. 7.5/10

armenia - i was expecting something like yete karogh es from srbuk, so this came completely out of left field in the best way possible. i thought we’d lost our token edgy pop song when ukraine dropped out, but armenia saved us at the last minute. the only thing i’m worried about are her vocals, because, from what i’ve seen, she isn’t the most confident performer. 7/10

serbia - another respectable but ultimately pretty safe pick from serbia this year. nevena has a really strong voice and she sells the song well, so i think she’ll avoid another moje 3 style placement. 7/10

germany - first of all, aly ryan was robbed. secondly, thank god the surprise song didn’t win. thirdly, this is alright. nothing spectacular, but it’s cute and the spinning stage was a great stylistic choice. 7/10

latvia - thank you latvia for letting this win and rejecting markus riva’s basic ass for the sixth year in a row WHEW i really love the whole atmosphere that surrounds this. barring a miracle, however, i don’t think it’ll qualify, but it’s still a good attempt. 6.5/10

sweden - i don’t think it’s john’s most solid composition, but it’s a decent entry nevertheless and it’s nice to see sweden picking an entry that isn’t generic pop again. 6.5/10

united kingdom - my only faint glimmer of national pride so far this year is that we managed to pick the only good song from the flaming garbage pile that was our nf. yeah, the lyrics are redundant and it’s a ballad by numbers, but michael gives it his all and it really pays off. 6.5/10

ireland - this will absolutely not do well but who cares, it’s fun and harmless. super chill and easy to listen, and i think sarah’s a big eurovision fan already which is nice. also i’d just like to take this opportunity to thank her for ditching the ylva and linda song she originally applied with. 6.5/10

iceland - hm. this is one where you need to listen a few times to get a full impression of what the fuck you’re hearing/seeing. i really did not like this when i first heard it alongside all the other söngvakeppnin songs (and most of them sucked lbr), but now i’m kind of ambivalent towards it. i still don’t like the screaming or the key change, but it’s something different and i can admire that. 6/10

slovenia - fine, but forgettable. she has a nice voice, but there’s a distinct lack of stage presence from the two of them and i fear that this might get lost in the semi final. 6/10

israel - i’m conflicted here. i definitely don’t think home is as bad as the fan polls and reviews imply, but it’s not great either. a verse or two in hebrew would have really elevated this and i’m a little baffled as to why the writers didn’t include even a little bit considering the contest is on home turf this year. still, kobi’s a very convincing performer and israel probably didn’t want to win again anyway. 6/10

poland - this is an odd one, which isn’t a bad thing at all in a year full of safe entries. not sure if using the bilingual version was the best shout, but it’s clearly still very polish and i’m glad to hear that they’ll be wearing the traditional clothing on stage in tel aviv. 6/10

czech republic - the chorus absolutely slaps, and if i was judging by music alone this’d probably be in my top ten. unfortunately, though, the rest of the song exists. the lyrics are truly abysmal, with some of the lines ending awkwardly and without proper rhymes where they’re needed, and the spoken-word section is genuinely unbearable. 5.5/10

austria - i honestly don’t know where to place this one. very underwhelming when it was first released, but now i feel like there’s potential here. most of austria’s recent entries have been very under the radar only to end up doing quite well. i’m not as optimistic about this as some of those, but only time will tell. 5.5/10

hungary - not a patch on his previous entry, but pleasant enough. he’s a good performer and unless the staging really sucks, he’ll do fine. 5.5/10

north macedonia - it’s a nice ballad? i guess? and, unlike a lot of their recent entrants, tamara is an established singer who we all know can sing live. there are also rumours that the delegation has been planning the performance for a while, so who knows, perhaps this’ll qualify. 5/10

georgia - this has been growing on me lately. the song itself is a bit of a bust, although the revamp helped, but oto really brings it to life on stage. even if you don’t understand what he’s saying, you can tell by the emotion in his voice that he really means it. 5/10

russia - the nightmare dream team hasn’t produced a good song in over a decade at this point, this included. kirkorov needs to quit fooling himself and let someone else have a go. 4.5/10

belgium - belgium’s had quite the glow up since 2014, but i fear they’ve gone for style over substance this year. wake up is very polished, but it doesn’t go anywhere and eliot’s live performances haven’t been convincing as of yet. 4/10

lithuania - i don’t know what was more shocking, him winning the selection or me finding out that he was lolita zero’s real voice in 2017. this isn’t awful, just very repetitive and strangely put together. 3.5/10

norway - sue me, i don’t like this. the bald guy feels out of place and out of tune, it sounds like it was written by a child, and oh my god it’s so unbearably cheap. 3/10 

estonia - eesti laul was such a let down this year. usually there’s a good mix of mainstream and alternative genres, but the new producer doesn’t seem to give a shit about variety, which is a real shame. anyway, victor’s performance is slick, but he can barely sing and the song itself is nothing to write home about. 3/10

romania - when this was first selected i didn’t mind it, probably because i just really didn’t want laura bretan to win, but as the season drags on i’ve really soured to it. it feels like it lasts for a minute longer than it actually does, and the whole ay-ay-ay part was not a good choice. 2.5/10

australia - as someone who was a big fan of estonia last year, this is honestly the furthest thing from that. it comes across as quite cheap (even without the questionable staging), and the chorus really grates on me. 2.5/10

belarus - i didn’t watch the entirety of the belarusian auditions for them to reject the potato monks in favour of lidl’s own brand zara larsson. 2/10

france - this is why delegations should be wary of selecting social media stars for their national selections. yes, they might get the viewing figures up a little, but they’ll probably win and the song will be Bad. i respect his message, but holy shit is this hamfisted as hell. 1/10

finland - if anyone was wondering how darude only ever had one hit two decades ago, here is your answer. 1/10

moldova - they really don’t want to qualify this year, huh. could’ve had ca adriano celentano, but nope. basic tune, painfully simple lyrics, but i guess her voice is nice enough 1/10

croatia - this... is awful. upsettingly so. at least jacques’ last entry had a novelty factor, but he’s doomed this poor kid to failure. 0.5/10

montenegro - i have absolutely nothing positive to say here. honest to god one of the worst songs i’ve ever heard, and no amount of clumsily shoehorned in folk instrumentation was ever going to save this. i can only pray that they’re spending their preparation time wisely and taking singing lessons, but considering that they probably blew half the budget on the music video, it’s unlikely. 0/10

as for potential winners,  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a lot of the big fan favourites don’t have a winning vibe about them, so we might be in for a shock this year. please let it be albania or greece

also feel free to drop me an ask if you want to chat about last year’s entries since i kind of ditched tumblr for a year or two lmao

[grimelords]

My May playlist is finished and it’s got everything from Rachmaninoff to Peaches across 3 and a half hours, I hope you enjoy it.

If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead - James Blake: James Blake has got such a big brain and this song is unbelievable. He has such a way of taking things that could be gimmicky like this vocal stuttering, or looping vocals and making them totally heartrending.

The Boxer - The Chemical Brothers: The central melody of this song is constantly stuck in my head and complete proof that you can make an incredibly catchy hook with just three notes if you need to.

known(1) - Autechre: I think this is maybe Autechre's most straightforward song but it still sounds like a harpsichord concerto getting sucked into a black hole. The way the violin-ish part swoops around throughout the whole thing, disintegrating and reforming before your eyes is hypnotising.

Sundown - Boards Of Canada: Guess who started crying this month listening to an ambient Boards Of Canada song thinking about how the end of soil is within my lifetime and we have destroyed our only home the earth!!

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys: With their new album coming out I went back and listened to AM for the first time in a while and it's still really astonishing what they pulled off. This and R U Mine? completely blew me away when they came out. Having the audacity to completely change your sound and style and have it work perfectly is amazing, and then disappearing for five years and trying to do it again? Bold.

FML - Kanye West: I was listening to this a lot when Kanye was off his lexapro and fucking his whole life up. And now there's a sequel to this on the new album where Kim's begging him not to fuck the money up, which I think is a very good kind of storytelling.

United P92 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I love the idea of ambient Venetian Snares and this is the song on the album where their two ideas meet in the middle the best I think. Also the way this builds and builds into total chaos I always forget that it's coming and get surprised when it says 'the machine can cum', what a funny song.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: I saw Autolux's drummer in Jack White's band when he played on SNL a couple of weeks ago and suddenly remembered how perfect this song is. A true testament to the power of a simple groove that sounds like it was recorded in a concrete garage.

Young For Eternity - The Subways: Yet another great song about being a vampire and all the benefits that vampirism can bring to your life! Thank god for Dracula! He sucked the shit out of me, now I can leave my work for nights and leave my days for sleeping! Young for eternity!

Oh Yeah - The Subways: I bought a 7" of this song a couple of weeks ago in honour of the time it inexplicably caused me a mental breakdown and made me sprint out of my house to drive around town crying and listening to it on repeat for some hours about 5 years ago. Not sure what that was about!

The Blues - Defeater: As far as songs that go for less than a minute go, I really can't fault this one. Pure power, it does absolutely everything it sets out to do and still manages to get two choruses in under the wire.

Bombay - El Guincho: I saw Holy Mountain this month in a double feature with El Topo, and although El Topo kind of sucked I loved The Holy Mountain a lot. There's a part where there's been a battle and a whole lot of protesters are dying on the ground bleeding, except you can see that the blood and guts are obviously special effects, you can see the hose that she's using to pretend to cry and the guts are green balloons and things like that. Hold on I found it on youtube anyway I know I've seen it before and I thought it was in the video to this song or another one of CANADA's videos but I watched them all and can't find it! If anyone can tell me the music video I'm thinking of, thankyou. This song is also, of course, good.

Swim Good - Frank Ocean: Honestly has there ever been a better song about wearing a cool suit and driving your car into the ocean?? Never. This is perhaps the best sing along song ever because you've got to do your smoothest voice ever until he does his little emo yells of 'I'm goin out!' near the end.

Batphone - Arctic Monkeys: I think this is my favourite song off the new Arctive Monkeys, it's the most '3am slamming away at a club piano' type vibe of them all, but most of all I love the little spiralling into space guitar noise that keeps happening whenever he finishes a line.

An Open Letter To NYC - Beastie Boys: I'm almost always thinking about the time Beastie Boys made a very serious song about how good New York is after 9/11 and they said 'dear New York I know a lot has changed, we're two towers down but we're still in the game'.

Black Car - Beach House: I can't get enough of the new Beach House album, and this song in particular. It's some of my favourite lyrics of theirs ever, a good song for when you're trapped in a dark labyrinth of your own creation.

Midnight Radio 1 - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Got quite heavily into Bohren & Der Club Of Gore again this month. This is from the album before they got rid of their guitarist and replaced him with a saxophonist, which pretty dramatically changed their sound from 'extremely brooding night music' to 'film noir soundtrack', which is still very good but really not the same. Anyway this song goes for 20 minutes and it feels illegal to listen to it any time before 2am.

House In LA - Jungle: I am so excited that Jungle are finally back and with such an amazing song too. I love how spacious this is, it feels very different to their first - a lot more grown up and I really can't wait for the album.

Lemonworld - The National: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'the guy from the national sounds like he's been going through a divorce for ten years now' which is very true, but this song feels like it's from happier times when he went to see his sister in law and had an morosely horny time. This song feels like the entire experience of reading a literary novel condensed into 4 minutes: a depressed older man in New York having a sort of backwards, confusing sexual thought. This is a song I regularly listen to on repeat and sing along to, it's a very specific feeling and I think "it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me" is one of the best lines he's ever written.

Rigamortis - Zomby: I put off listening to the new Zomby album for so long because his last one was just so boring but he's completely redeemed himself on this, it's really something. It feels like one long piece, which is amazing when any sort of thematic coherence is a rarity for Zomby albums. There's a lot of recurring sounds and motifs, and almost zero drums in the traditional sense. It feels like a really mature reflection on grime that he's been building up to for years.

Indoors - Burial: Whereas this song sounds like you're waiting outside a club in hell.

Segeln Ohne Wind - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Another Bohren song but from much, much later. I love the way the brass sounds in this when it finally comes in, it's so rich and overpowering.

Isle Of The Dead - Segei Rachmaninoff: Wikipedia says "The piece was inspired by a black and white reproduction of Arnold Böcklin's painting, Isle of the Dead, which Rachmaninoff saw in Paris in 1907. Rachmaninoff was disappointed by the original painting when he later saw it, saying, "If I had seen first the original, I, probably, would have not written my Isle of the Dead. I like it in black and white." and it also says "Prints were very popular in central Europe in the early 20th century—Vladimir Nabokov observed in his novel Despair that they could be "found in every Berlin home". Folks what is going on with this spooky painting.

Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction: For a long time this was the emergency dead air song on Triple J, which is an inspired choice in my opinion because there'd be ten seconds of eerie silence because something's gone wrong at the station and then suddenly two huge loud chords! and dogs barking! A BEEN CAUGHT STEEL IN! ONCE!

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel: I was sitting on the toilet when I saw a news article that said Peter Gabriel has finally made his music available on Spotify and I said 'yessssssss' loudly myself and then played Sledgehammer. Honorable mention to the best ever sample of this song in Contemporary Man by Action Bronson, which is unfortunately still unavailable on Spotify.

Reaching The Gulf - Dylan Carlson: I saw a review of this album saying Dylan Carlson is the only choice for soundtrack if they ver make a movie of Blood Meridian and they're completely right. I'm also so glad that he collaborated with Emma Ruth Rundle on this, it feels like the closest I'll get to bonus tracks to her Electric Guitar One album.

T-1000 - Swarms: I have no idea where or why I first heard this album but it's been in my rotation for a long time. It's in the general canon of post-Burial dubstep before dubstep got americanized and it's just very nice. When the vocals finally come in on this it's a very emotional moment for me.

Casino Trem - Tyondai Braxton: It's really surprising listening to Tyondai Braxton's work after Battles because he has such a distinct melodic style it's shocking to realise how much he brought to that first album. After listening to a lot of his solo stuff it becomes so recognisable it almost feels like you can go back through Mirroroed and pick out every single guitar line of his making. Anyway this song is great. Starts out sounding like what it feels like to be trapped in a pokie and ends up like you're trapped in a databent Banjo Kazooie cartridge.

Kick It - Peaches & Iggy Pop: The first time I ever heard this song, and the first time I ever heard of Peaches or Iggy Pop was on the soundtrack to Midnight Club 3 so I didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I still don't really. I love that this is supposed to be like a dangerous sexy song but the whole time Iggy Pop is just rebuffing her advances and bullying her. Then she's like 'go to berlin' and then the song ends. Still not sure what this one's about still!

If You Know You Know - Pusha T: GOD this song is good, I've been listening to it on repeat. What I love about Pusha T is where a lot of other rappers talk sort of frivolously about drug dealing and everything, he often feels like he's putting his hand on your shoulder and looking you straight in the eyes saying 'I am not fucking around. If you need drugs of any calibre or kind I can get them for you in massive quantities.' The impish way he's saying 'if you know you know', absolutely kills me, like he's a cartoon man winking at me while hiding drugs inside a tennis ball.

Hacker - Death Grips: I think I put this on my playlist last month but I'm still on it so. My new favourite part of this song is when he says "The table's flipped now we got all the coconuts bitch / Burmese babies under each arm / Screaming beautiful songs".

Cavity - Hundred Waters: Hundred Waters feel like a really underrated band to me, I've been listening to their last two album a lot this month and they're just stunning. The long build up towards the end before the two note melody comes back and kills me? What a moment.

Music For The Long Emergency - Polica: I didn't love this album when it came out but I've been listening to it more and more and it's really growing on me. I think I put this song on a playlist a month or two ago so I won't write more but let me say this: Polica rules.

On The Grid - Lime: tfw you turn the knob and you do a good job and you wind up on the grid :/

Elephants - Them Crooked Vultures: I feel like Them Crooked Vultures gets forgotten when people talk about Queens Of The Stone Age albums. People bring up Desert Sessions and Kyuss but somehow forget that this giant album happened. Anyway this is far and away the best song on it because it just keeps on giving and giving. It's just a huge jam about riding an elephant and having cool hair(?).

Particle - Hundred Waters: This song feels like it could be the EDM hit of the summer if it was structured slightly differently, but instead it's the biggest brain pop song I've heard in a long time. I love how much power the bass has in this, it really feels impactful when it comes and goes. The vocal performance is obviously incredible as always but I really love the distorted vocal line that sort of tears itself apart now and then, against how clean everything else in this song sounds it really makes it.

Me Or Us - Young Thug: Thinking hard about when Young Thug sampled First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes and made it into a really really good song.

Because I Love You - Montaigne: God this song is good. All the time the lyric 'I ate a salad today, I ate one yesterday too' pops into my head and makes me laugh. She tweeted about this song a couple of days ago and it really made me laugh: "My ex-boyfriend & I once watched BBC Sherlock & during the ep he paused & basically soliloquised about how he’s a tortured genius just like Sherlock & I’m his Watson in as condescending a way as you’re probably imagining then poured a shot of whiskey & now you know the story"​

listen here

[darkspellmaster]

Shitennou, or Four Heavenly Kings –and the significance of their titles.

Ever since Act 10 came out with Sailor Moon Crystal I’ve been wondering about the deeper connection between the titles of the Four Knights of Endymion and the men that held those titles. Like the Sailor Scouts, I don’t doubt that all four of the young men that became the Prince’s loyal companions came to him for a reason and were drawn to him. Kunzite even mentions that they were reborn to find him and be by his side. So this is no small feat that they have these titles.

While I’ve noticed that most people are pulling from where they are from and the connection to the four kings from Buddhist religion, and possibly in connection to Shinto’s idea of the four compass directions having spirits connected to them. I wanted to draw attention to their titles because that tells me more about them as individuals then the history that they’re drawn from. I’m going to take an assumption here, seeing how Ms. Takauchi did work somewhat on the Crystal series, and guess that possibly she was the one that gave the boys their titles. Though this also could be the production staff, which, if true on the latter, good job guys.

Anyway the reason I bring this up is because the titles of each of the Knights have meaning. No title like this is given for no reason, and it’s clear that there is a connection between their titles and the roles the Knights played as a group serving Endymion. Like we saw with the Sailor scouts, each piece of the five man band is a cog in the whole wheel, and that would include Endymion as well. But…we’re not going to focus on the prince because I think there’s already a lot out there going over who he is and why he is the way he is …I think…correct me if I’m wrong people.

So before we start, let’s go over quickly what a title is. A title is normally used to honor a person in some way or another.

From Merriam –Webster: a : an appellation of dignity, honor, distinction, or preeminence attached to a person or family by virtue of rank, office, precedent, privilege, attainment, or lands

Why is this definition important? Because it explains elegantly what that rank at the end of the name of the character means. A title isn’t something you’re born with, unless your family already has it, so this is something given to someone who, in this case, the royalty feels has distiquisted themselves in some way or another. This would infer that the boys did something that gained them the rank that they have, rather than them being born into it. Somewhat like the scouts, only I think they were chosen in a different way.

This means that the ranks that the knights have are something special, and is it any wonder that they are so loyal to the prince, even when they are on the side of the dark and why his existence is what helps in cracking the brainwashing. This is something special to them, so of course Endymion would be careful in handing out the titles that he gave to them.

So where to start with this whole think piece that has been brewing since I saw Crystal and then read the manga…well I guess with the first guy that announces himself.  Jadeite.

Jadeite: Knight of Patience and Harmony…

According to the girls each knight told them their name. So naturally they would have explained the reason behind their title. And when we look at Jadeite’s it’s the only one that wasn’t switched in the dub.

When examining one of the many pieces of artwork that came in the Sailor moon Crystal art book, one that stood out to me was that of Jadeite and his head shots. Unlike the other Shitennou who were drawn looking serious or angry, or smug in some cases, Jadeite’s head shots are shown to be smiling. All of them.

Save for one that is showing him being embarrassed. Now why would they have put him with all happy faces unless it was to show that, of the four young men, he is the friendliest and the one that has the lease anger in his heart.  You may go, but how can you even tell that? Well that’s because his title says it all.

Let’s take a look in what each word is defined as starting with the first:

Patience.

According to Merriam-Webster this word is defined as:

“Patience:  the capacity, habit, or fact of being patient”

Now this would mean that Jadeite has the ability or skill to be a patient person. But that doesn’t tell us much until we look at what the word Patient means.

Patient:  bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

               2 : manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain

               3 : not hasty or impetuous

               4 : steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

               5 a : able or willing to bear —used with of

So why is this definition important? Well it tells us a lot about Jadeite as a person. We know from the term that a person who is seen as Patient is someone who can handle situations that can be very frustrating without getting annoyed, or at least they stay calm about things. It also indicates that they do so without complaining or irritable about something.

By it’s very definition in connection to the word calm, which indicates a state of tranquility, or peaceful state, the idea of someone being Patient indicates someone who doesn’t get easily upset or lets it roll off their back. Something that would be very useful for a person who may be an advisor to the King of earth.

Another aspect of the term is the idea of someone who is forbearing, or someone who can hold themselves back and control themselves when provoked, or pushed by aggression. This means that Jadeite is someone who can take a lot of ill will towards him without getting mad easily. Reminds me a lot of Rei and how she’s able to stay calm even as people shun or act like jerks to her. Having the skills to stay calm in a court would be a huge help to someone like Endymion, especially with diplomatic relations and when dealing with the citizens.

Other characteristics show the idea that someone would have to be not hasty or fast in making their choices. That they, or in this case Jadeite, weighs his options. Which actually ties into his actions directly in the show as he takes his time with his plans and sets up a long game with the girls getting the jewelry and the bus actions. For that matter, it also identifies someone who is Patient as steadfast or firm in their beliefs and determined, also known as loyal, even when there’s issues and the choice is hard to make. Adding to this is the idea that the person is willing to bear some sort of problem and deal with it over a period, rather than act on it at once.

All things there considered with the terms, it at least appears that the first half of Jadeite’s title indicates that he was given this due to the ability to handle situations that came up without being angered by them. Given what we know of the word now, it also shows that he was a loyal person who probably was able to keep the peace among the others and look at things in a different way than say someone like Zoisite. It also gives a clear indication that Jadeite was more than likely the one that got the least upset over things and probably was the one that Endymion trusted the most when dealing with serious issues that needed a calming hand and advice for people that were being rude or aggressive towards him. This is not to say that Jadeite didn’t get upset, but rather it took longer and he probably was the sort that looked at problems for a longer solution then just a quick fix.

Judging by this we can see why there was a connection to Endymion as we’ve seen with Mamoru that he’s the sort of person that can stay calm, but probably could use advice from someone that gets the idea of balance and finding an inner peace and understanding of things on a more spiritual level.

Speaking of which….

His second title is that of Harmony.

Now this is a longer one as it has more meaning to it.  

Harmony as defined by Merriam-Webster:

               archaic : tuneful sound : melody

               a : pleasing arrangement of parts : congruence a painting exhibiting harmony of color and line

               b : agreement, accord when a woman's desires are in harmony with those of her husband

               c : internal calm : tranquility a period of relative harmony

The idea of harmony usually gets people thinking of the idea of the word melody or of tunes and songs. When thinking of harmony we typically see it as a melodic piece which of itself is interesting. There are some beliefs in the idea that Blue jade (Jadeite’s color) is connected to sound and that there’s a note that can come if you strike the stone. With the idea of music, one could argue that the harmony not only extends from the psychological aspect of the character, but it may connect with the actual musical aspect as well.

Music, for the most part, is a type of art that invokes feelings and if Jadeite represents the calming aspect this also falls under how harmonies in song and music can, in fact, make others feel calm and relaxed, even when they are at the most volatile.

Consider this example. When you’re feeling down, you listen to a song that has soothing melodies, and chords that make you relax, it puts you in a more peaceful state. This could relate into his harmonious nature over all, as possibly we could take a guess that Jadeite of the past may have had connection to music, even if it wasn’t a power like say how Zoisite uses sound.

Bringing it back to the definition though the word Harmony also connects to the idea of a pleasing arrangement of parts. This can be seen for music or painting, but can also be seen as connecting to the idea of a personal situation, where all parties are pleased with the end result of an arrangement. Something that, could easily come out of someone being very good at keeping the peace and calmness in an event.

This brings me back to the managa and the moment with Nephrite and Jadeite. In the manga both Nephrite and Zoisite felt enraged enough to go and target Mars for Jadeite’s death. Zoisite going as far as to actively seek revenge upon her by playing into her past by using songs to invoke memories of Jadeite and lead her to nearly fall prey to his plans. The fact that he was so well loved by his fellow Knights shows that Jadeite was probably the most popular and the one that kept the group together in spite of their differences. Also, during Crystal’s anime, we get a moment of Nephrite asking him why he’s not killing the people, and in the sub we get the line that he’s being too lenient, indicating that Jadeite may be the more gentle of the group, and that shows too in how he arranges the people in the room where he’s taken them. When looking at the term about Harmony yet another factor that you have to take in is that of the idea of Agreement or Accord. Both words give a very interesting meaning to what the idea of Harmony is in this case.

Accord: to grant or give especially as appropriate, due, or earned

               2 : to bring into agreement : reconcile

               1 : to be consistent or in harmony : agree

Agreement:

a : harmony of opinion, action, or character : concord

b : the act or fact of agreeing She nodded her head in agreement.

When dealing with an accord, this is typically seen in a political sense of the word, the idea being that two sides come to form an agreement over an issue and make a deal about it. Being able to make an accord or have the skills it takes to reconcile (or pull together two sides) regarding an issue, takes a lot out of a person and would have to be someone who understands both sides of the matter in a just and fair way. Endymion having Jadeite as such a person would be a huge boon for him in matters of politics, as Jadeite could calmly and rationally explain things in terms that could get both sides to talk.

On top of that, you have the word agreement in there, which shows that someone would have an opinion that could be seen as finding a connection to something and creating a balance in it. If that the case then that would mean that Jadeite, as I pointed out in his original piece, really was the peacemaker of the group, acting as the diplomatic one when it came time to make choices and giving a fair and balanced side of both parties to help Endymion to make his final choice in matters.

This makes me think that he probably was the person that took notes, as well as was there in the throne room at all times, listening in on matters and helping the prince understand complex issues in better ways.

Lastly mentioned in Harmony is the word Tranquility.

And now we come round to his first term Patience as well, since the word Tranquility is heavily connected to calmness and Patience.

Tranquility: a : free from agitation of mind or spirit a tranquil self-assurance

               b : free from disturbance or turmoil a tranquil scene

               2 : unvarying in aspect : steady, stable

So why is this word so important as a connecting thread for Jadeite? Because it’s the spiritual piece that the others lack in their titles.  

The idea of being tranquil comes from the idea that someone can, and in some cases does, have the skills to allow their mind to be free of agitation and anger. That they can be sure of themselves enough that doubt isn’t as big a deal as it could be. And we actually again see an example of this when Jadeite tells Nephrite that he’s sure about his plan. He’s confident in it because his past self was someone who didn’t let the anger get to him as much.

We see in Act 10 that he’s the one that smiles when the girls arrive, showing a kindness and peaceful demeanor to them to welcome them rather than showing distrust or distance. Tranquility also connects to the idea of not being easily disturbed by things, and that they are steadfast and stable. Something again connected to the idea of loyalty and Patience. This could also connect to Mars and Jadeite, but that’s for another post.

So what about Jadeite in his role with the prince. Well given his title there’s a few things we can surmise about him and guess about.

One thing that stands out to me is the fact that Jadeite would have had to have been someone that Endymion trusted. He was the closet in age to Endymion, being older by a year, other than the more aloof Zoisite. This would mean that the two were close, and that they probably talked a lot more frequently in a personal way then say Endymion and Zoisite. If we take what we know about him from the show and bring it into this, we can then also assume that Endymion must have seen his behavior as something that stood out to him at some point in time.

My honest guess here, given the way Nephrite and Jadeite act, is that they were of a lower class then Zoisite or Kunzite. It’s probable that Endymion discovered Jadeite due to his natural skills as a mediator and someone that the people in town, or around his area, found to be helpful. Again the fact that he’s smiling in his headshots, at least tell me that he was normally a friendly person and was probably someone that was extroverted, and more confident in himself. Probably the best way to put it was that he exuded many traits that Mamoru found in Usagi when they met.

If he’s the heart of the group, as it seems to be then, Jadeite used that skill as someone who could help others with a kind hand and a sense of calmness to find the balance in groups. This also ties into what’s been demonstrated as his powers.

His ability to make golems could have been used as a means to help people repair things as creating a workforce to help others fix things around the cities and the like could have been useful. As well as creating a larger fighting force to maybe get people to sit down and talk, if they felt that there was no way to win the war.  Then there’s the ice powers. Ice is a part of water, and water has many connections to the idea of calmness and serenity, something that Jadeite exudes. If his powers are just ice, and they probably extended into the water area as well, I could easily see him using them to help people in need of water, or to use it to clean out places that have been wrecked. As well as using the freezing to hold back enemies, and probably create a smaller level of protection around an area like a barrier. Creating a portal also can be used to indicate harmony as you would have to be a very calm and balanced person to move space and reality so that you don’t screw it up, and lastly the sleeping skill that he showed. That I would say would come in handy when dealing with someone who was irate and by letting them nap it would give Endymion a chance to consider what to say, as well as refreshing the person and making them feel more amiable to dealing with the Prince in the first place.

[cocona]

hey! i wanna at least try to get into kpop, to see what all the fuss is abt, and youre the first blog that comes to mind abt that stuff. do you have any recs!? or comments?? anything really, i'm interested in what you have to say

i have recs!!! first of all ty for asking me abt it hdgfs !! i’ll make u a list !! i will try to stay concise but i have bolded n linked the most important stuff since i tend to blabber a lot! there r groups i purposely didnt recommend! also! i advise you to look up who did what if you want to know why idcs abt certain artists that r big in kpop (like big//ba//ng, su//ju, bl//ock//b, ma//ma//moo & so on) tl;dr: kpop basics (spotify) + @tearera (my kpop sb)

i’ll start w some RECS but jsyk kpop as u might have heard of it is mainly composed of groups! which is why i’ll start w groups then soloists! of course u can check out most of them on spotify (u can listen to their playlist of the most famous songs atm!). please notice that the kpop industry is very ‘classic’ when it comes to concepts (cute r for gorls! badass r for boys!) so um. yeah. yikes. if i had to argue abt all the things i find wrong in this industry this post would become a manifesto, u can always pm me if u want to hear me complain lmao 

GIRL GROUPS

honestly…. TWICE are the first one that came to my mind when i thought of ggs to rec. they’re a 9 member group labelled under jyp entertainment n have debuted in 2015 with the bop like ooh aah… that u can listen to! their genre is mainly cute songs but dont be fooled!! they have extremely powerful songs & lyrics as well! some good starts with their music are LIKEY (2017, a bop, great melody, great rapping, one of their ult feel good songs, played @ the olympics), TT (2016, queens of halloween!), and also their most recent song WHAT IS LOVE (2018, iconic!! gay!! bop!! sweet!! great album!!). as twice are the kind that can set you off by their cuteness and playful vibes, i recommend you to check out some of their side tracks. personality wise, the girls r very fun and sweet! they’re all angels and i love them all THIS MUCH!! if u want to know, sana & dahyun r my favourite members!         

also queens, but from sm entertainment this time, Red Velvet are a 5 member gg who have debuted in 2015 with the song Happiness (at that time they were only 4 but the youngest member, Yeri, joined later on!). some very famous songs of theirs are… basically all their title tracks but i’d mainly recommend Russian Roulette, Dumb Dumb (also my fave rv music video!!), Peek-a-boo (what’s better than lesbians witches slaying men and eating pizza), Bad Boy (honestly… one of their best songs… title track of their repackaged album…good shit if u will). of course! there are some side tracks i will recommend! i will frankly say that i listen to a lot of their music and they’re my favourite musically! some faves in no particular order are automatic, cool hot sweet love, huff n puff, something kinda crazy, about love, kingdom come, little little and talk to me! they have very versatile genres and have two main themes of music, the red and the velvet, though these mix often! rlly! their music really good. they have amazing choreographies too!!!!

the third gg i will rec are one that have not debuted yet, it’s LOONA! get ready bc they are a 12 member group with one girl for every month. each girl was revealed every month staring from 2016 with a single album composed of one song and one side track that usually features another member! as this group has yet to debut, i cannot show you anything with all twelve members but! they work with units, there are three: loona 1/3, odd eye circle, and yyxy (tune in for their debut scheduled for may!) that each have an album. 1/3 r more of a cute girly concept, while odd eye circle have played strongly on the girl crush & rnb concept. we have yet to see what yyxy has for us n im frankly v excited!!! my fave singles are Around You (hyunjin), Let Me In (haseul), Singing in the rain (jinsoul, best girl), Eclipse (kim lip), and Heart Attack (by chuu!! also best girl). they have already released a lot of music so go ahead & listen to it! their music videos have a plot and it’s one of those theories fandom (loonaverse)! the positions that all the members will have wasn’t been revealed yet!

then here’s a list of ggs that’s not as detailed bc it would be too long: clc (they r…the girls….), exid (vocals, social criticism, sexy), blackpink (5 songs out but theyre all top notch), f(x) (v good music! bring them back from the war), gfriend (cute & refreshing concepts! v tight choreographies! sweet girls!), aoa, & many more! groups i dont rec bc i dont stan but that u should know of: snsd, 2ne1; that have disbanded but shouldnt have: sistar

BOY GROUPS

ok i stan two boy groups so that’ll be quick! i’ll also rec plenty of music!

the main group i stan is BTS aka the bangtan boys and yes… they’re everywhere… they deserve it tbh… so theyre a 7 member boy group and they’re the first kpop group i ever stanned! they have released a lot of songs already but i’ll just mark something! bts are known for their cinematography and plot in their music videos as well as their politically/socially engaged songs. they debuted in 2013 with the youth-conscious song no more dream and um. forget the mv. the message is what’s important. secondly! my favourite eps & albums are DARK&WILD (forget abt war of hormone), The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt2, WINGS, and Love Yourself 轉 Tear (which will be released on May 18th so stay tuned!). here’s a beginner’s list to bts & their music videos: spring day, blood sweat & tears, run, fire, i need u, and intros: singularity, serendipity. i cannot recommend bts songs bc i’d be unable to pick some, but here is my bangtan favourites playlist and spotify’s This Is BTS! n their most known song atm, still on charts, DNA. another thing!! they dabble in a lot of genres! there is a constant symbolism in most of their songs and music videos, which is why there are theories! also, here are my fave choreos (x x x) & non-official releases (x x x)! also! j-hope recently released a mixtape! check it out! it’s v good! the bad thing is that the fandom is massive n it is filled with young fans so a lot of fan-created content is cringey. apart from that! theyre lovely as a band n i’m not ashamed to say that they bring me most of my joy these days!

then there is… NCT. ok, let’s dive into them. nct is the acronym for Neo Culture Technology, they’re currently an 18 member boy group but hey! don’t be scared! they too work in units and have only released one song which features all 18 of them! it is likely that the band will expand later on & that the name NCT will become a brand (like akb48 u know). so far! there are three units! NCT DREAM (based on age, with the youngest members who r still minors), NCT U (the first unit to have debuted, aka nct united, a rotative unit with no fixed genre or members list) and NCT 127 (seoul based unit, fixed, with 9 members). they’re known for their experimentative and diversified sound, which goes from ballads to… this. while each unit have their distinct genre and vibe, they’re all under the same label of nct! and um, check out spotify’s nct playlist if u want! here r some songs that are basics! bolded r the faves! jsyk i hated their music & their clothes @ first bc it’s so unique so dw if u dislike them! 

127: cherry bomb, limitless (gross hair but spectacular song), touch, back to u, 0 mile, sun & moon, angel

dream: my first and last, we young, go, dunk shot, trigger the fever, la la love

u: the 7th sense, boss, baby don’t stop, without you, yestoday

solo tracks/sm station: dream in a dream & new heroes (ten), around (taeyong)

the last group i’ll present in length n that u should know about is SEVENTEEN. they’re a 13 member boy group & work in units as well but mainly promote w all the members! they’re the fun, sweet, talented, heartfelt refreshing boys we all love tbh! so! seventeen debuted in 2015 with the bop adore u and since then it’s been great song over great song… they also have great choreos! they’re the easiest group to listen to imo bc their songs are mostly light and very similar to what you can hear on teen top radios! then, they get stuck in your head very easily! here are some songs u can listen to that will make your day! mansae, very nice, pretty u, clap, don’t wanna cry, change up, n there are many more! some of my faves are when i grow up, trauma, still lonely, rocket, crazy in love, lean on me, and uhgh rlly all of their songs tbh! three units better known as teams: hip-hop, performance and vocal, with a leader in each. they put up great performances!!

then there is shinee, mostly nicknamed the kings of kpop, i’d make a very long desc but! i suggest you to see for yourself as the fandom is v helpful!

here are some boy groups that i rec but wont go in length with: pentagon (i stan!), monsta x (edm, powerful dances), shinee, exo (great vocals, great choreos, v good music), astro (bubblegum but v heartwarming! vocals), day6 (rock band, great songs), wanna one & many more! rlly um bgs arent the thing that’s lacking in kpop! 

a bit in the middle: KARD (mixed group!!! great music & genderless, breaking the usual hardcore is for boys & cutesy is for girls concept)

SOLOISTS

more of a solo person? check out artists like hyuna (ex member of both wonder girls & 4minute), iu, heize (a personal fave!), sunmi (ex member of wonder girls), taemin (member of shinee), amber liu (current member of fx! also released a mixtape recently!) hyolyn or dean… tbh there r many! these r just the ones i can think off the top of my head! theyre honestly easy to listen to so just look up their names on yt & u should find some good things!

if u read all of this!! uhh kudos to u!! it was v long n i didnt expect it to be that long!! 

[latina4rmbx]

Tomorrow isn’t Promised

I saw an ad for a game on Facebook.  A clip really.  There were couples staring at each other.  Some crying, some laughing nervously.  All I remember was this one profound question:  "If this were to be our last conversation, what is one thing you’d never want me to forget?”

A seed was born from the question.  I figured, I’d ask people.  At first, I asked the closest people to me, then I expanded the circle.  Needless to say, I freaked a whole bunch of people out.  Before I get to the responses I want you to know that a lot of these are deeply personal, so I will not include names.  Some people who follow me on here, MAY know some of the individuals, but not all. 

I am NOT sick.  I am totally ok.  I found the question so profound, I HAD to ask it.  I have no regrets.

If there was a way to share all of the screen shots, I swear I would but trust me, there were just so many.

Some people responded with just 1 thing.  Some people responded with long beautiful messages.  They are all appreciated and I will forever hold them dear to my heart.

All, but 4 people, received a response to the question from me.  I won’t divulge my responses because as soon as I pressed send, they no longer belonged solely to me.  Just know a good response for most was:  you made me cry.  

I’ll be typing the responses to the question.  Some people gave multiple responses so I may give both.  

I had a conversation with my confidante and she says that this is amazing.  Sort of like a living eulogy. She asked me if I knew these things the people were saying.  I explained to her that in truth, I never really thought about it.  In the end I learned 2 valuable lessons: 

Younger males mainly speak of themselves.

You never really know the profound impact you have had on another persons life.  You’ll see what I mean.

Without further ado, here are the responses, in no particular order:

To value your worth.  To never forget that I love you and the kids.  That you’re a great writer.  A great friend.  A great mother.  I can’t name just one.  Don’t forget to give your friends a blanket.

That I love you & I know I was difficult growing up but I always loved you even when it might’ve felt like I didn’t.  And that I forgive you.

That I greatly appreciate your genuine friendship and you will always hold a special place in my heart.  and that’s the truth.

That I love you

How much I love you

How genuine and good-hearted you’ve always been, no matter what life has thrown at you.  Your situation never changed your heart, in Janee’s words, you’ve stayed golden.

One thing?  That I love you.

That I love you.  Why are you talking like that?

That I am always here for you and that I have and have always had. nothing but love for you.

Sheesh, I don’t know if I interpreted this question correctly but:   If this is our last conversation because you are on your death bed I would say:  In life, it sometimes feels like the world was simply horrible.  Nothing was good and it was full of hate and anger.  Thank you for being someone that gave hope just by being her positive self.  I know that because you were my hope when the world seemed horrible with simple gestures.  May not have changed the world, but it saved me some days.  If it was because we fell off or some other shit:  You was always lit.  Stay golden.  Don’t change for nobody.  I wish you the best.

I’m your child.  No matter how much u deny me !!  and I love you!

I appreciate all the kindness and support you’ve always shown me.

I would want you to know how much I love you and how much you’ve impacted my life in such a positive manner.  How much I love that you’re not just my aunt but you’re like my best friend, and how I feel that you out of most people understand me on a different level.

You prob the funniest chick I know the pleasure of knowing.  There’s your one thing.

Omg don’t say that but I would say you are a beautiful person inside and out and the world is a better place because you are in it.  You have a beautiful family and friends that love you.

Id never want you to forget how much I GENUINELY appreciate our conversation.  How you were there for me and gave me so much words of wisdom when I was going thru the worst time of my life.  How you satisfied my craving of violets when I was pregnant with Mychael..and how much you make me laugh thru social media because you are so funny!

That you really will be missed and that I wish our friendship happened sooner so I’ll have more time with you!!!  You are greatly appreciated.

I love you with all of my heart.  You’re an inspiration to me.  Words could not describe what you are to me.  More than a cousin, more than a sister.  Awilda Lee was the brightest thing in our lives when she came along. Thank. you for her.  Thank you for having unconditional love for me that my Wela had.  I have very fond memories at 533.  You’re in almost all of them.  From music out the window to your word processor and all your CD’s. My love of music comes from you.

That I love you like MY blood sister!

Us when we was living with grandma on 139th street, while you play Richard Marx “i’ll be Right Here Waiting for You.”  Til this day when I hear that song I see you playing it. I love you.

That Jesus loves you so much He gave His life for you in order to offer you forgiveness for all the wrong you’ve done & a way for you to live with Him eternally in His presence & that its. never to late to give him a change because He’s always by you waiting.

That you are very loved.  Good morning honey.

Jesus loves you!

If this were my last conversation with you I would want you to never forget that you are an amazing person from the first time I met you as Dr. D secretary til now, the only thing that has changed is your hair color and your age lol.  I genuinely have love for you.  Your free spirit and outspokenness is always welcome in my world.  I know you said one thing but I had more than one thing lol.  Oh and you’re a bomb writer.  So when you publishing your 1st book?

That you were an amazing friend that honestly left an imprint in my life.

What an awesome job. you’ve done with Joaquin!!

Morning lol your smart mouth and trouble shooting skills.

I wouldn’t want you to forget how absolutely amazing I think you are.  You were there for me when I needed you most.  Helping me with my son and a shoulder to cry on.  For that, I will be forever grateful.

Fine.  I’d want you to never forget that not only do we have the same teeth, that we’re cousins on both sides of our family and that you’re first daughter looked exactly like me when she was younger.  And that although we don’t speak much, I love you more than anything.

My gap

That I love and you’re my favorite person in life and I am grateful that God put us together and I hope we together in the next life too.

How hard we laughed together.

How I never judged anyone.  Good morning. (I think they mean how u, meaning me, never judged anyone)

How much I love you.

How much I love and appreciated you.  

How valuable I feel our friendship is and how much your wisdom and guidance has helped me in very difficult times.  I appreciate and love you very much.

That I love you

That although growing up we were not close.  I still have a great deal of love for you and I absolutely enjoy every single lil time we share together.  and our sex talk at times (they meant we talk about it, not that we talk it to each other)

That I love you.  That you are special strong funny.

That you are love

That I love you unconditionally because you are extremely unique.

That you have a warm and tender heart and a fierce outer shell.  You are an incredibly strong and smart woman.

That you are an absolutely amazing human being & that you deserve all the happiness and love that this world has to offer.  Never stop smiling.

That I love you and everything about you.

You will forever be my favorite bookworm.  You’ve written your own book in my life.  “That loyal friend” by OV.  You speak my love language you always have and I am just as honored to have you in my corner.  I love you. my dear friend.  Sincerely, KR.

Everyday of my. younger life, all I wanted to do was find you guys!  Once I did, I felt I was becoming complete!  Meeting you guys when you y’all came to Cali was EVERYTHING I could have asked for and more!  You guys are ones I work for EVERYDAY!  Once I make this generational wealth, I got y’all!  I promise you that!

I know it’ll sound cliche but I don’t thin you will ever truly know and understand how truly and deeply I care and love you.  You helped pull me out of really dark place, you are an amazing soul.  You are one of the rare ppl that i actually think of when i think of love and friendship and i thank you for being a part of my life.

That you’re my Binobo (a species of monkey - look it up)

When I would nag you on the 1st of the month.

That you should never forget how much you are loved.  That your generosity of spirit and goodness far surpasses any flaws.  That you are sooooo much more worthy, than you think you are.  That I would never want you to settle for anyone who isn’t a really good person to you and the kids.  Most importantly, I would pass on something that my Great Aunt once told me to always remember...If it doesn’t bring you peace, then it isn’t from God.  In my experience, those words have always proven true.  You know in your heart and it your gut - there is a very definitive, distinct sense of peace, when things are right.  God only wants that sense of calm and joy, and He gave us the instinct to recognize the difference. (AMEN!)

I truly don’t like the tone of this question.  But it would be your honesty.  You’ve always been so open and honest about your story and it was a breath of fresh air for me.

Your humor and smile is always up lifting.

Awwwww.  You are my counselor.  You always have the best advice you are the sassiest glamma I know and the queen of essential oils lol.  you add a special something to the world that only you can.  A tell it like it is type of chick, who always keeps it 100%.  It’s been such a pleasure having you in my world.

If it’s a thought about you, it wold be that I thought were smarter, funnier and at least a little better looking than the average bear.  If it’s a memory, besides the short jokes and dancing, I would want you to remember, well it’s a toss up.  Remember the time I lied about cooking food I brought in lunch, that it was really Lydia who made it, and she busted me.

I’d say thank you for being the parents that you are and thank you for allowing me to influence your little treasure and for keeping in contact with me.

Don’t forget to put me in your will.  Lol just playing.  That I love you of course.

How much I love you and thank you for always being neutral even if you’re his coworker lol.

I’d want you to know...While there is a great physical distance between us, I feel close to you.  I love that you had a special relationship with my mom and hope that we can have our own.  Big hugs to you.

1.  That I love you.  2.  that I would like you to raise my kids if anything happened to me or my wife.

That my heart was pure whether they were good or bad to me.  To be honest I just want people to know that I’ve always been a good soul and did my best to be there for those who needed me, just a selfless individual.

You’re the best grandma Saniyah will have from marriage you love her like she’s really your daughters child and I love it.  wouldn’t want it any other way.

Nuestra amistad (TRANSLATION: our friendship)

I love you

Never forget that I love you and God is good.

I don’t want it to be our last conversation but one thing that i don’t want you to forget is that you called me Thunderbuddy.

That I love you.  That you’re an amazing person!  Wait that’s two things right?  LOL

Never forget who got you high.

1.  Don’t forget to brush your teeth (stephen’s voice) 2>. Don’t forget to keep being unapologetically yourself.

How cute and funny I am lol

I wouldn’t want you to forget the laughs we’ve shared.  Our birthday body suits.

Thank you for reading,

XOXO