#u don't need to justify it... ppl are allowed to Just Not Like Things -

[benetnvsch]

ppl be like "knkdz is abusive bc knkd is mean to dazai when dazai canonically struggles with mental health and is suicidal and blah blah blah :(" and then turn around and ship skk with their full chest as if their dynamic isn’t based entirely on the fact that they canonically genuinely hate each other-

Like? U can dislike characters all u want - go ham - hate them for no reason even but u don’t have to lie and mischaracterize and be a massive hypocrite abt them idk

[ravel-puzzlewell]

can we talk about shadowheart tho. her writing absolutely baffles me. like. when she admits she's shar's cleric, she gives u a speech about how shar is misunderstood and that like she's all about exposing bad ppl, toppling corrupt governments, using shady methods to get shit done, etc.

cool, so she believes that shar achieves good goals, so like. to me it seemed that her arc would be about realizing how it's not true, becoming disillusioned in shar, cue good old thats me in the corner losing my religion etc etc

and it just never happens? like we see a lot of evil shit shar has done all over the place and shadowheart never questions it, never even tries to rationalize the answers to keep her faith, its like she just doesn't care. and we as a player can't confront her either, we can't say shadowheart do you think shar successfully utilized girlpower when she cursed entire region with radioactive shadows and split it's spirit in half? instead we find like. shar's torture device secret chamber and shadowheart goes awww i wanna be a dark justiciar so baaaaaad

and then. then at culmination, at scene where she's deciding to kill aasimar or not, you can't give her arguments. you can't be like look at everything that shar has done all over this place, do you still believe this is for greater good? what greater good can justify this? what higher purpose is there in senselessly killing a prisoner again and again?

no you can only say like. you can't allow your goddess to control you! what do you meeean. like??? this isn't how faith works. clerics supposed to like. BELIEVE in the same things their god does. so far shadowheart was pro-everything shar-related she saw. she's like. enthusiastically into it. even if she's brainwashed, she still very much WANTED to be dark justiciar. and now it's all - oh, its shar "controlling" her. like. Shadowheart even said that shar's head nun or whatever told her that she isn't ready to become dark justiciar. This is very much shadowheart's own initiative. Why is it framed around like listening to yourself, instead of changing BELIEFS?

and THEN. after she doesn't kill. aasimar says. "Don't you find it oh so curious you would spurn your Dark lady? Perhaps you feel a stirring of the truth already" and then later reveal that shadowheart was like. selunite kidnapped by shar ppl. and this is why she didn't kill aasimar. WHICH??

like apparently shadowheart is the first to show mercy in a century not because she had a chance to live outside of cult for a while, meet and befriend new people and broaden her worldview, realizing her cults doctrine is false. no no no. she did it bc she's just INHERENTELY a good person. she just like. had intrusive thoughts urging her to be good. she just needed listen to herself. bc she's actually a selunite and not sharran. and like, all other dark justiciar apparently are just inherently evil and it was never possible for them to choose not to kill.

like how do you take a perfectly serviceable narrative about cult member escaping brainwashing due to being able to socialize outsife of her cult and instead make it about Selunite essentialism.

[madfantasy]

Been crying alot lately not knowing why, nd now I can verbalise it, I need to type it down for the sake of my sanity.. I think its lots of trauma dumping, I'm sorry

I've seen a post ask about if you're an ace would u be in romantic relationships, and I have just thought about how I'm always revolted by these concepts since I was 6 years old.

Having been always groomed to be wed to one of my cousins or a rich somebody to be my highest achievements as it solely focuses on my private parts as my worth and my ability to contribute to the family's "Good reputation" and reap back benefits to.

But I knew, all along, if I was forced to be with someone, that will end me being on this earth or them if they tried going near me. And growing up, I always tried to accept that fact, accept that u need to be pure and clean and be good for wedding and basically enslaved to it, cuz that's all our still impoverished family can aspire to. And on top of the dark thing that happened to me, making me truly believe I have no worth in this world and have prayed to be taken to heaven before I hit puberty, and have tried pitiful attempts to leave it, untill i got faint access to Internet and stole the keys to the locked books, they themselves should have been reading, around 17 years old, found an only opening and escape to reality.

I remember, my refusal was all the firmer the more anyone tries to tell me all about the glamor of being an intimate house maid and the domestic abuse they gloss over that I personally have witnessed time and time again with every couple that visited or we went to. I always respond that i am already one to my guardian's with the same abuse minus the gross intimate part.

I didn't even understand why I hated it so much while everyone is doing it, and as young as 16.

I avoided alot of marriage offers thanks to my guardians being, in one good way, over protective. And me losing my mind every time they brought it up. Literal uncharacteristic melt downs and now they fear the subject after they finally snapped me after saying no for years wasn't enough of a respond.

I'm 30 and the latest offer was from a rich cripple who was willing to pay all my guardians debts and give them a farm. My guardians dream. They turned it down without consulting me.

I've always hated the concept of pairs joined by s*x and the s*x itself. And marriage as a whole never made sense to me, considering the developing world and its problems. But I understand it as a bond if its first and foremost was not for love, it was for safety— mental, financial and otherwise.

And where I come from, independence is supported by the family, you can not survive, work, do anything if you do not have a family, and specially if you assigned a certain gender. So basically, I lived in isolation for the majority of my life, in poverty, marriage seen as the only -allowed- way out.

And it's all stims from a so called religious teachings.. Alot in common in this world, who take it as a personality trait and use it to justify injustice. Even though most of the time they know nothing about it beside what they are told by their authority figures and operat in this world as superior to all others because they were told they r the true religion. I saw on TT a so called mus-girl complaining about her children being exposed to 'rainbow ppl' in school education and having the nerve to complain about it living as a foreigner welcomed to practice her religion in a western country and claims not to be hateful. And yes, Arab ppl call the community 'rainbow' which reeks of the phobia and condescension. Like their religion teaches them to be at peace with all and treat ppl how they like to be treated, yet they fail to apply that when they don't like or lack the emotional intelligence to understand others who are merely different, just different and existing, exactly like them. And they do believe God made everything, so he did make those people, so what their excuse to that? And they exsisted since tbe dawn of humanity. And funny thing is their religion tells them that God made humans different, and urges them to read, to wonder the earth and consider facts and if they don't know to ask who are knowledgeable, and their intentions matters more and if they did unjustly by anyone, who ever they are, they r not a true mus--. It obviously translate to just ask a man who knows nothing about science, empathy or common sense or notice the accumulating facts and only repeat a select few he is told at a religious house. Thinking seems to be a burden these people happily relinquish to others. Which irkes me to no end

I was told all the shit I endured is because it from gods teachings, and it should make me happy. I never stopped questioning if this is a bless then why I was never happy? And why I can't do as I am told

They beat me up when I drew, when I was rowdy and when what now i know is stimming, shaming it as an act of another religion, and it was the running joke in the whole family. Mental health was an immense shame and hush hush, and anyone who seemed to need it was judged to be just a lesser mus-- so they deserve all the pain and suffering they get

I was glad that lady was getting chewed by ppl who was responding to her, but one person said something that just made me burst into tears and I couldn't stopp crying lately..

She said she was a teacher that goes from school to school and stuff so she experienced alot of communities and she noticed the vast differences between children who's family love and support is unconditional and those who don't, they obviously tend to later thrive.

And thats the word..

Thrive

Besides our financial situation never changing to the better, everything else was in decline, my guardians health themselves relying on me even more, and my mental anguish exasperated to a point i barely see a point in life, daily.. I can barely draw now, something I did 24/7

Everything that I am I had to do deep research for just to know that there's nothing wrong with me or im not deserving punishments for. I am ace, I am a gentle Them, I am on the spectrum, and I am Mani..

I did everything I do now in secret and complete agony. I learned English to gave privacy, continued to draw cuz it was my only alive part, and posted online when I was forbidden completely to protect my art from being lost, had to swear that I was nit interacting with others. I lied and one of the few times I was found, I was beaten while a school friend was on the other line in a voice chat. I was more humiliated that my friend witnessed it than being caught.

I still have the deep fear and distrust, I can't deal with social things, having to keep guessing which social cues they are using and not to become a living status, leaving the house the mere thought if it alone is panic inducing, I can never feel safe and cant risk something that might bring any harm to me and my sibs, every few days I struggle not to just delete my whole exsistance online. I can't look at faces even in pictures and if I did or need to I have to mentally prepare myself for so long. I literally had to convince my guardians that I can have a credit card so I can "learn" to do stock shi then used it to have PP and one day i got commissioned, and only when that happened I was able not to keep it a secret. And in its place now I feel the pressure when I can't provide or won't

The rest I still have no luck, I bearly managed to tell them recently that I suspect that I am on the spectrum, reading alot about it lately and it explains even things I couldn't. The nearest I managed to tell them that I am ace and what it is is that I started by saying I find who we are suppose to be wed to disgusting and I already living that glamorous stay at home shi nd co-raising 5 siblings they know very little about. They said fine but don't go saying that out loud cuz God says that marriage is the greatest bless but I won't force u ever.

I just feel my life force almost over, while I experienced nothing of life beyond isolation and constant need, so i cant thrive in anything.. Everything I wanted to do I begged to try was denied cuz either of my privates or cuz we were poor. I wanted to be athletic and do sports but there was no such thing as a second gender sports around. I wanted to be and still wish I could be, a wrestler. Unsurprisingly WWE was my inspiration and practiced as serious as a kid could, having what I believed a super pain tolerance cuz I never cried as I was beaten. I was cut from even watching it because it was "shameful " all of a sudden. Later I understood it was because everyone was shirtless and it was s*xulised by them. Everything became the same later, everything I drew or expressed feared to be s*xual and or homo nd I was punished over, I literally drew dying ppl and bromance alot at first. And they just projected their assumptions on me. I understood later and still can't bear the thought that ppl can project s*x into anything, and it never clicked in my mind because of what I am. And that was their biggest fear. I drew things cuz I saw them beautiful, and they only saw it as vulger, because they can't help but hyper s*xualize everything or assume it being so even with clear indications. Something that happened online too, tumblr nd tt, so it triggers me horribly

Something ace i also realised there's a word for (forgotten ittt ugh)— even though s*x and its mention is completely revolting to my person and I can have no relation to it. I can still enjoy it as a fictional concept, as entertainment, if u will, specially in a muse of two characters I enjoy. So drawing it is fun and exciting and enrichs my naughty side. Until I finish it and I never want to see it again cuz I'm not super good at it yet heh

In my mind, I can love and treasure who ever platonicly, and our bonds does not have to direct our paths in life. My romance is bromance, and meaning I will do everything to make my bestie happy, and my biggest wish is to live like tintin, in a mansion and everyone can be free to go on adventurous escapades, like getting coffee. ( i never done that, so

And this is something I wish to do with my siblings, if the stars were ever to align..

At least have Sherir with me.. puppets make me happy

[lansplaining]

don’t get why ppl gotta defend the morality of the actions of their fave character so personally. like yeah u can argue whether or not x action was right or not but it’s not like, a personal statement on u if a character u like did ethically unjustifiable things. ppl like jgy or xy and don’t need to justify every thing they do.u can like a character who’s not 100% morally correct and still like the character like it’s not that deep 😭

i literally don't get it at all!!!! what a weird way to engage with fiction!!!!!

there is something interesting to me in which characters people get asked to justify as well. like maybe it's just because i don't spend time in that corner of the fandom, but i do not see anyone demanding explanations for why people like xue yang. it is just accepted that he's a nutty little murder man and people love him for it. but for some reason liking jgy or liking jiang cheng requires a perpetual state of disclaimer????

and maybe this is not a universally held reading of the story, but i feel like the relativity of morality is like........ a key theme in MDZS? what's the difference between the people wei wuxian killed during the war and the people he killed at the prison camp? pretty much nothing, except one of them was within a framework that said it was "allowed" (war) and one of them wasn't. it's literally at the heart of JGY and NMJ's arguments as well-- NMJ has killed dozens if not hundreds of people to protect himself, and what is the actual difference between doing that on a battlefield and doing that in peacetime, except that society has decided one is okay and the other isn't? so losing your mind over whether your fave committed "war crimes" or not is something the story itself would argue is futile????

[dianthusmay]

"it happened 8 years ago" the amount of time that passed doesn't mean anything when he was an adult, a 20 yo, when he said all of these things and bc of how hurtful these things were. he didn't just say all of these things too, he directly responded to a victim and mocked them and their trauma

"he changed" in his first apology he said he almost forgot abt the things he said. a person who actively seeks change and growth doesn't forget their past actions and u don't know him personally to claim that he actually changed. it's baseless

"well he's from thailand and that kind of behavior is normalized there" i was born and live in russia which is. not a progressive country lol yes our environment around us can shape some of our judgements but it doesn't justify them esp when u r not a kid anymore and can think for urself and not for ur parents/peers/society

"we've all said things like this at some point" who is we ? not all of us r privileged to hold such opinions bc we r affected and hurt by those beliefs. spitting victim blaming rhetoric is not the default, trust me

"he apologized" sometimes words r not enough and it applies here. there needs to be actions and not just him taking time off to ~think~

"he doesn't deserve to be bullied" holding him accountable is not bullying and w/o ppl finding the stuff he said he wouldn't even address it. there needs to be consequences for a person to unlearn their inner bigotry. he can't learn if u make it look like what was said can be easily forgotten and forgiven or stay silent abt it

"other actors wouldn't work w him and like his apology if he was still such a terrible person" maybe. but men stick together and defend each other since the beginning of time so i'm allowed to be doubtful abt that

all of the things above r excuses. and victims see ur "stay strong baby 🥺" and "it must be so tough for him :(" bullshit. y r u pitying him and not the kp fans who r victims/r affected by this and had to see this shit ? we've all of the rights to not look past his behavior and not forgive him. and to be completely honest i think only the groups that were offended can accept his apology

plz don't make excuses, start listening to victims and reflect on y it's ok for u to lose ur morals over defending one man u don't even know

if u want to stick by him, that ur choice but trying to make it look like what he did is normal and not letting ppl be mad abt it is different

pete is still one of my favorite characters and he's v dear to me but it doesn't mean i can't criticize his actor

it's beautiful to see good in ppl but it's not beautiful to add on to victim blaming culture

[g-xix]

about your cancel culture post, i also think cancelling people over small jokes (using homophobia/homophobic jokes as an example) gives homophobic people a reason to jump on their hatred for gay people. ‘oh their such such snowflakes, they cancelled so-and-so for making a joke abt gay people, can’t do anything these days’. not saying that homophobes shouldnt be held accountable, of course, but if it’s a passing, harmless joke then imo it’s just not that deep, and not worth dragging it out. ( i’m also not saying that homophobic people need a reason to hate gay people, but it will just give them a way of justifying their hatred/discrimination)

idk i’m not very good at explaining myself so i’m not sure if this made sense but i completely agree with your post x

It's such an interesting one this one

Because there's the two sides of reactions to morally inappropriate jokes (continuing your use of homophobia as an example): -People react unhappily, some try cancel CC - damages public perception of queer ppl -People don't react poorly to a joke - but then that can normalise those jokes and almost make them more frequently said if there's no repercussions

(pretty much like u said)

There's definitely sorta a "middle way" in the whole educating a CC if they've made a poor joke out of ignorance towards some1/something

(but then again there's always that question - who + how do you decide whether what some1's done is wrong? After all, morals are different for everyone, so does it make it wrongfully didactic to try and preach yours onto someone else?)

Cancel culture is oftentimes too extreme in the case of minor no-no's done online, but not saying anything at all to someone's mishaps also kinda just shows that it's normalised in society, and just allows more potentially harmful jokes to be made

To be honest, it's a really interesting thing to discuss because realistically there isn't a 'right', so to speak, answer, which leaves it a pretty interesting thing to explore and j think about how you really feel online mishaps from CCs can be sorted

I'm quite neutral tbh, because as long as people can see the two sides to a story and weigh up evidence in support and against a case to come to a justified conclusion - I'm happy! Bonus if it aligns with my opinion!

But really - i'm not that bothered

what does everyone else think tho, i feel like tumblr's a super inclusive space so i'd love to hear from ppl who disagree w my opinion + your personal beliefs on all this :)

[thisdreamplace]

I think yes, i deserve to be free of this. It really is me bearing these burdens. After i wrote to u, i had a realisation,, i imagined what do i want from them nd it was like i want them to see how much pain i m in coz of THEIR conscious actions... I realized i want THEM to pity me, as pathetic as it sounds. yes i deserve to allow me to be happy no matter whos sayjng what to me. ik im fixating on them, they're my world, my twisted, pain filled world. when the strange thing is my world is what i think of me? is that right?

i dont want to feel this way anymore. how do i put the focus off off what they're doing or not doing? off the memories nd off my body nd mind's reactions to them?

thank you for the comforting words. i want to apologize for the message. Idk if its a good or bad habit, but i dont show ppl how much they hurt me irl, sometimes im irritable but i never show my weak vulnerable side to them and it got too much for me then, so i had to clutch at a straw. But this means I tklerate too much ig. They say u can't heal from the place of sickness but im scared,, what if i don't change inside and then even if im independent i may have these same patterns in people? like at school. i have a deep fear of just existing. ive always thought others have a right to exist to do whatever they want no need to justify, but somehow i cant ever find the courage to do that for myself?

first i don't want tk give the duo so much standing that im havjng misery on my own based on their actions to me. so how could i do that, how could i start? im not looking for a quick fix, but for this change, does it mean me expressing thjngs they want to hear or changing my values? So they don't do that to me? In fact, do u think, is it possible I'm not getting this 'treatment' coz of something I am but coz of what I secretly expect from them?! 😦

second: is everything i have seen in ppl reflecting me inside? that is neville's concept that u reap what u sow. Is it possible for someone to have someone who's evil to them, become nice? Without saying anything to them? i also am realizing rn that i m still subconsiously searching for someone to blame! Ur right! There's no wrong or right. only me nd a deep loneliness ig. I don't mean it in a victim way. This time :) It's terrifying to think we realy are alone to reap what we sow

😶

yeah, your world is what you think of you... in relation to the world and everyone in it. so you see yourself as this person who gets treated this way, you see your family as people who act this way, it all comes together to become your experience.

if i was you, i would just take a step back... internally. because perhaps you cannot escape them physically, maybe you live with them. that isn't a barrier between you and freedom unless you make it so. you have to let yourself feel bad, think the thoughts, wallow in victimhood, but each time you do that fall back into your power. in other words, surrender. "i dont want to feel this way anymore, it's time to feel better (so i won't give in to these feelings willingly anymore)." "love is behind all of this behind, love is waiting for me." "i am supported by the godself within, i am okay." idk, these type of thoughts can help you through it. they help me. so it's just a suggestion. you've clearly held onto this for a while, you've experienced it for years, and it sounds like you're have this painful story in a chokehold. like you arent exactly ready to let it go, but you're also interested enough to begin finding inner freedom. and that interest will guide you. find the light of it even during the darkest moments. it's time to allow yourself to heal, for you. let the facts remain and let your faith to your inner world be your guide through this.

its okay to send this type of message. sometimes we have to vent it out and we open our own eyes through it. the habit you mentioned, it's a neutral habit. you're the one who essentially decides if it's bad or good. it's really unimportant though. we can sit here and think about our habits and how they have got us to Y which lead us to X and perhaps it explains Z. or we can just accept, "okay this was my habit. this was my story i held onto tightly. i dont want to anymore. it's time to change."

if you don't change inside, it will have been a choice rather than something you just couldn't do. so it's not really anything to worry about. don't settle for less, make the decision to change because you have no choice but to anymore. it's time.

in my opinion, wondering about why and how is a detour, when there's an easier way to get to the end destination. how do you want to feel? and practice staying there. don't ask for permission, don't expect anyone to help you get there. (i am guilty of this, wanting someone to change so i can finally feel better... no. i have to change, then i can finally feel better. this goes for all of us.) if you have a human moment where you feel like speaking your mind, okay. we are human. the human experience won't stop the inner world, because we are always experiencing the contents of our inner world. simply get into the habit of experiencing a more beautiful inner world, more frequently.

yeah, everything you have seen in people is reflecting you inside. that's actually the only explanation for it. there is no other reason. now, don't get confused. this doesn't always mean, "so i am a terrible, mean-hearted person just like them?" no, people also can only reflect who you think THEY ARE. so when you see someone as toxic, of course, they will play the role of the toxic person. and you just see yourself as the person who is as the receiving end of that kind of behavior. so yeah, that stands to reason a person can become loving, beautiful, and wonderful to you without you saying a word to them. you didnt have to ask them to become terrible, you don't have to ask them to become loving either.

yes, it can feel scary to reap what you sow on your own. because we are all imagination, we have to imagine better. no one can help us to do so. it's heavy sometimes, but the thing is you don't have to do this overnight. it's okay to breathe, it's okay to start with you. you don't have to worry about changing anyone else. worry about changing you, let yourself feel those things you've been refusing to let yourself feel because of others. it's time to free yourself.

plus, i find it helps you don't have to carry the burden of "i am god" that sometimes comes when you are starting in a lower place. sometimes "i am god" feels more suffocating than liberating, when you already feel so out of control. it's okay to think, "i am god's child" "i am supported by unconditional love within" or things like that. as one of my wonderful friends once said, "sometimes you have to fall, and let your godself catch you." (@astraldoll) it may feel heavy, but let limitless love be your guide.

i will link this article, i have linked many times, because it's so relevant. this person didn't ask for permission from her family to feel better, she decided to. she didn't even bother to try and change them. she just changed herself and because of her refusal to accept less from her family, they changed too. because people can only reflect you.

No One to Change But Self

i can't wait to hear about how you successfully transformed your life 💖

[sagemoderocklee]

Hi Eeri, hope you're having a nice day. I only read naruto part 1, so I don't really know about the characters that are better explored in shippuuden. Can you explain to me why shipping Itachi with Kisame is problematic? I'm asking you because I trust your judgements

I can understand your confusion anon--this i blame partly on kishimoto and partly on fandom. 

the issue with the pairing is that kisame is like 30 years old and itachi is a teenager. I didn’t even know that myself until quite recently because kishimoto really is bad with ages in his series and also just in general with consistency. I never shipped it, but i also never really cared or had an actual real problem with it until i found out that kisame was a whole ass adult when he met itachi. again, kishimoto is bad with ages and communicating those ages, so i understand why earlier on in the series, it wasn’t something people were aware of. like itachi never seemed like he was all of 13 when the clan massacre happened and i’ve always written my fics under the assumption that he was 16 cause it wasn’t until recently that it was like “oh no he was 13″ like he always just seemed like he had to be older and it doesn’t help that his voice is Like That.

but either way, if itachi was 16 or 13, he joined the akatsuki and met kisame as a teen. they’re friends and partners (in the team sense)--that’s it. and ultimately there’s no excuse to say “i don’t know this” anymore because the naruto wikia is right there and states their ages! obviously it wasn’t as apparent in the early half of the series, it’s not like fuckin k//kasak//u or something where it’s like “okay clearly this is a child and her sensei” so for ppl who’d shipped it when naruto was airing, i get that they didn’t know but the problem is refusing to let it go. like this series has been around since i was in elementary school (it was serialized in Shounen JUMP in 1999, when i was a whole 10 years old), this series is as old as Harry Potter if you count the start of it in 1997 when Kishimoto wrote the two one-shots that eventually became Naruto. 

so like i get being into the series from the time you were a child and not having known these things then, and more than that being a child and not getting why it’s so wrong. like i know plenty of ppl who invested themselves in gross ships like k//kasak//u when they were young girls projecting their crush on kakashi and identifying with sakura--but a 13 or 15 year old doing that is different from an adult doing it. if you’re an adult who shipped something with a huge age gap as a kid and you still ship it, you need to step back and either re-examine that shit because you don’t get a pass on that or you just need to get the fuck out of fandom because you should not be allowed to put that sort of content out there where kids will consume it and continue to think it’s okay for a fuckin 25 year old to pursue a 15 year old. fandom as a whole is too welcoming of that kind of content, but ppl wanna plug their ears up and say “it’s just fiction” “ship and let ship” etc

anyways sorry for this rambling mess anon. i know you didn’t ask for a mini history lesson on naruto or anything like that i just get endlessly frustrated by ppl shipping things with these massive age gaps who then justify it with shit like “oh i’ve shipped it since i was a kid” or “i didn’t know” because ultimately there’s no excuse

[harryisntstraight]

Like, idgaf if you don't like harry. say you don't like him, you don't like his music, you don't like his clothes, really go ahead you're allowed to have that opinion. but to try and twist innocent things he says/does to make him seem problematic is so wrong and trivializing of real issues and it needs to stop.

honestly the shit about carolina and kiwi was soooo fucked up and disgusting like ppl were really out here trying to call him a pedophile… i dont even have words for how disgusting that is and honestly they should be ashamed like go sit in the corner and whine about how much u hate harry styles to ur hearts content but trivialising such a serious and dangerous issue just as an attempt to justify ur dislike for a popstar is awful 

[orange-plum]

❄️️I'm not saying that having a group of fellow LGBT people is bad or anything..I just feel excluded I guess. I live in Santa Cruz so we're pretty progressive. I just don't feel the need to say "look at me, I'm bi. Please let me hang out with u guys." One LGBT guy that I knew had a poker night with //only// LGBT people and I wanted in. He knew I was supportive of LGBT ppl but he didn't know I was bi so he said I couldn't join. I guess u could say it's the exclusion of hetero ppl I don't like ??

Santa Cruz? Dang, you’re hella close. 

I guess the only real way to look at it is lgbtq+ people have been excluded, and still are pretty excluded on the large scale of things, by society. Hetero stuff is the “norm” and it’s shoved in your face everywhere you look. They want a space just for them since society shoves them away so much. 

That’s not to say that if you were this guy’s friend and he wouldn’t let you come because he thought you were straight that that’s kinda dickish... But I also don’t know the situation, and I don’t know if this was a regular thing. If he wanted one night for just his lgbtq+ friends every now and then there’s nothing wrong with that. Like I said, I’m far from an expert on this, but that stonewalling people can come off sucky but I think from their perspective most of it is justified. But allies or people actively supporting the community while not existing in it should be allowed to participate sometimes, I think. But that’s just me, because I’ve been there.

Either way, IDK. I understand the feeling from both sides. I think if you wanna be in that community at all you just gotta pick the people you get along with more, who have the same kind of mentality as you. It’s all personal preference.