hellobuildmybodybeautiful-blog

[monocaelia]

Mx Didi, this is out of the blue but ... I'll have to let you know that thanks to your one gojo fic (atlas), I now have started jjk (anime) and can't stop watching... thank you 😭

eee!!!! omg how exciting!!

hearing that my silly gojo fic was able to convince you to watch jjk is so sweet ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ i’m glad that you’re enjoying watching it so far!! it’s one of my favorite current shows for both the plot and also the very pretty characters (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑) ♪

how far have you caught up on? and which character is your favorite?? if it’s gojo then im sorry that i made him so romantical and pathetic in my fic and then hes. super annoying in like. the first few episodes LMAOOO

[subskz]

hi! i just wanted to say, i’m a sub and i avoid sub skz stuff bc it’s not really my taste. i scrolled though the lee know smut tag like a few weeks ago, and i came across strawberry lemonade. i know i avoid sub skz, but i decided to give it a try anyways. and oh my god, i think that was the best decision i ever made. i haven’t read any sub skz fics because i figured that i probably wouldn’t like it, but i’m so glad that i gave it a try because honestly i think i’m kind of into it. the way you write is actually so delicious. your use of descriptions is actually scarily good like it was so easy to visualize it all, and like oh my god your descriptions sounded so hot. and the dialogue too…sooo good!! i loved how it transitioned from playfulness to something more, i don’t know, hot? idk the whole fic is just hot. all the teasing and calling him kitten?? oh my god. dragging the cold popsicle against his skin and then licking it up with the warmth of your mouth?? the sudden change in temperature is just so hot. and oh my god, putting the popsicle on his cock??

“You rolled the treat lower to emphasize your question, wedging it against his balls and making his cock spasm wildly,”

HELLO??? THE VISUAL?? imagination running wild. balls unfortunately don’t get enough love, so that line made me go a little crazy. and the way his cock spasms wildly because of it is so ridiculously hot. and even when you’re doing all of that, he still tries holding onto his pride, which is actually soo cute. and then wrapping your lips around his cock?? ughhh, if just doing it against his thighs got me going crazy, this one definitely got me going even crazier. the contrast in temperatures is <33333!! and using the popsicle where your lips didn’t cover?? you’re gonna be the death of me.

“Gradually, you built up a steady pace, timing the strokes of the popsicle with your mouth so that every inch of his dick was being stimulated at once. Hot and frigid, sloppy and smooth, like you were freezing his body over and setting it back on fire. It wasn’t long before the dizzying blend of sensations became too much for him to handle.”

i’ll let that paragraph speak for itself because holy shit was that hot as hell.

“Don’t make me beg for it.”

“But you sound so cute when you do.”

HELLLLOOOOOO?????????? ugh your writing is just so scrumptious!! oh my god and when he finally lets go of his pride and starts begging, it’s sooooo <333333

“The strawberry slush dissolved against your tongue, cooling the inside of your mouth to create an icy blend of saliva that was far too much for his hypersensitive body to handle.”

OH MY GOD. i’m in love. and the part where you stop just to make sure he doesn’t get hurt is just so adorableeee!! many fics are just pure smut with no feelings, so it’s absolutely lovely when you included this little bit that shows that you care about minho <33

“Even the popsicle lasted longer than you.”

PLEASEEEE i lost it at that omggg.

sjiwnfienenf this fic was a masterpiece. was it kinda unsanitary? yeah. but does that matter? absolutely not. i loved it omg. super hot. i stalked your blog afterwards. read almost everything, just need to find the time to start reading butterfly bandage and a few others.

also, i wanted to hear your thoughts on domming skz for the first time? but if you’re not comfortable writing switch reader, then maybe pegging for the first time? (reading “safe” made me lose my mind omg)

hello hello! first off i just have to say that your entire message has me in shambles oh my god i can’t believe how sweet u are!! 😭 thank you so much for all your kind and encouraging words, it means a lot to me that you liked it! esp since sub skz isnt ur usual cup of tea i’m delighted that you took a chance on strawberry lemonade n ended up enjoying it <33

the way u caught on to so many little details throughout the fic and immersed urself in the descriptions is incredibly touching to me, you really read w a keen eye i appreciate it so much!! even to the point of sharing lil excerpts that you liked and noticing the slight tone shift at the beginning…ur too kind ㅠㅠ the contrasting temperatures was kinda what inspired the whole thing so i’m glad to know u found that hot hehehe what better way to slowly chip away at lino’s pride right~ and yes!! i try to sneak in softer moments whenever i can to show some love for the boys, i’m very happy u took notice of that part and that it’s smth you value as well! 🥰

thank u again for taking the time to send such a lovely message u really brightened up my day!! butterfly bandage is a bit of a journey haha…if you do end up reading it i hope you’ll enjoy the ride angel 💗💗💗

as for ur question! yes i don’t do switch reader, but i think i could do smth like going from a vanilla relationship to domming skz for the first time if you’d like? either way, i’ll add first time pegging thoughts under the cut here ^_^

chan - so shy, so so shy. he’s extremely self-conscious abt it bc he feels guilty for wanting smth that, in his mind, is almost solely for his own pleasure instead of yours. he’s a lil giver who always wants to satisfy you first, after all! still, he can’t deny how bad he craves trying it, he definitely researches pegging on his own (shoutout deadpool) and gets off to the thought of it, then feels insanely embarrassed w himself after. he doesn’t have the courage to ask you outright, but since u know him well enough, it becomes pretty clear to you what he wants through his indirect roundabout channie ways of hinting at it. saying things like “ur always slapping my butt *giggle* why do u like it so muchhh~” or “i saw some videos the other day and um. yeah haha. i was like wow, ppl are into some pretty interesting things, yknow?” or ofc the infamous complaining abt how fat his ass is…lmao. and after one too many times of him fiddling w his ears and giving u hopeful glances as he stammers his way through dropping hints, you finally accept that this man is never gonna ask for it himself and decide to take initiative instead

when you do, he bursts into flames 😭 he tries desperately to play coy n oblivious, but it’s so clear how much the idea excites him w how he goes bright red, he’s not fooling anyone~ channie is such a good boy though. even if he’s nervous, he does his part to try and prep himself for you on his own, experimenting w fingering himself and even looking for the right toys to get him used to being opened up. he does whatever he can to be ready for you and make the process more convenient, but he’d definitely still need to ease into it little by little. starting w you fingering him so he can adjust to being filled up like that, testing out some smaller toys, then eventually leading into the actual pegging after a few days or weeks. he needs you to take it slow the first time, be very gentle w him! bc not only is it a bit nervewracking to try smth new, he also just feels kinda vulnerable and insecure abt it. needs lots of convincing that this is smth you want too, and that you get all the pleasure you need just seeing him blissed out and falling apart underneath you <3

he’s a flustered wreck the entire time, squirming and avoiding eye contact and covering up his body bc he feels way more exposed than usual sprawled out for you, leaking against his tummy w his legs spread. but no matter how embarrassed he is, he’s still so loud once youre inside him. if you thought he was noisy before, the sounds he makes as you start to thrust into him are like nothing you’ve ever heard before, and he wouldnt be able to contain them to save his life ㅠ his moans are so sweet, emotive, and grateful. with the way they spill out of him nonstop, it leaves no room for doubt in your mind that he’s feeling so good that all his misgivings have washed away. he tries his best to stay communicative so you know what he likes, that he’s still okay and comfortable, but once he fully adjusts to the rhythm and feel of your strap inside him he gets lost in it pretty quickly and has a hard time staying verbal. all he can really manage is a broken groans of “ah, good”, whimpering your name over n over and slurring out pleas for more, but those are more than enough to let you know that he’s enjoying himself~ it kinda dawns on him as he’s being drowned in all this pleasure how lucky he is to have you and how safe he feels in that moment, he might even start to cry if his emotions are running particularly high that day. he needs a lot of praise through it bc, again, he wants to be reassured that he’s doing well for you when all of the focus is on him like that; it’s one of the few times he won’t religiously try to deflect all ur compliments. i think he’d wanna be in missionary despite his shyness, bc he wants to feel close to you. he’ll be hiding behind his hands or unable to hold your gaze most of the time, but he still wants to be face to face with you for kisses and soothing touches <3 he’ll definitely wrap his legs around you when he’s close to pull you in deeper, like he’s worried you might stop. or he’ll tug needily at your arm to pull you down against his chest, begging you to hold him as he comes undone. aside from the emotional intimacy of the position, he also feels a lil relieved that he can bury his face into your shoulder and hide away. if you pinned his hips down the mattress to steady him while he cums, he’d go absolutely wild. later down the line, he’d be very open to you fucking him rougher. he’d esp love for you to “mahandle” him a lil bit. even if he’s bigger/stronger than you, he gets such a thrill from feeling kinda helpless as he’s bent and folded and tossed around into any position you want. he’ll crumble instantly under your hands, just to hear you call him a good boy for obeying so eagerly <3 but despite that secret desire in him, for his first time i definitely think he’d need it to be soft!

lino - curious kitty #1…he is most definitely interested in trying it out. one of the hungriest for it out of all the boys, actually, and he’s honestly a lil frustrated that you haven’t suggested it yourself yet. bc though he can be pretty shameless abt asking to try new things, he also doesn’t wanna risk the blow to his pride if you reject the idea. his version of dropping hints is literally just staring holes into the back of ur head, hoping his telepathic signals will reach you and you’ll just know what he wants without him having to say it, bc god forbid he looks desperate in front of you (he is, but you dont need to know that). if you don’t bring it up yourself, eventually he runs out of patience and just deadpans it to you one day that he wants to try pegging, but he frames it as a joke just in case so he can giggle in ur face n act like he didn’t mean it if you aren’t into it lol. if you’re the one to suggest it, his heart kinda flutters bc lino really wants to be wanted by you. he wants you to go crazy over the thought of him writhing in pleasure underneath you, to see how pretty he looks getting fucked so you become just as hooked on it as him and ask yourself why you didn’t do this sooner. he definitely plays up his seductive behavior around you to try and get you to initiate it like the sneaky lil kitty he is

though he acts all fussy n huffy as if he’s doing you a favor, he’s actually very thoughtful behind the scenes just like channie. he tries to prep himself in private and does a lot of research on how to do it safely and properly for the first time. partially to make things easier for you, and partially so he can blow u away w how much of a “natural” he is heh…despite what he leads you to believe, he really wants to please you, too, even if he’s very adamant abt being pampered. he absolutely 1000% sucks your strap before you fuck him. even if he’s never done it before, he treats it like a must, and the way he works his mouth would make you believe he’d been doing it his entire life. he wants to show you what he can do for you too, kinda like he’s reminding you of why he deserves to be fucked so well in the first place~ given how experimental he is, you’ve probably already tried fingering w him before so it’s not smth entirely new to him, but the complete fullness he feels once you inch your strap all the way in is like nothing he could’ve ever prepared himself for. he gets obsessed w it instantly, both the pleasure that’s so intense in an entirely different way, and the whole new lvl of intimacy it brings to your dynamic

he tries to keep quiet at first, just letting out cute little grunts and hitched breaths as he gets used to the stretch. but the moment you start to consistently bottom out inside him, you’re in for the prettiest, most angelic sighs n moans you've ever heard from him. he might wanna start out in missionary bc he likes the eye contact and he feels more comfy being able to see you…he will be looking directly into ur soul w the most intense, sultry gaze that shows how much he really trusts you, it’s very hot in its own way hehe. that, coupled w the way his thick thighs wrap around you to urge you in deeper, tell you everything you need to know abt how much he loves it, even if he refuses to admit it outright. the faces he makes and the sight of him rocking his hips to match your movements are mind-numbing…he’s a dancer after all, he’s got very good muscle control and knows exactly how to move when he really wants to put on a show <3 as the pleasure picks up though, he gets a lil too drunk on it and becomes needier n needier, you can tell his composure is slipping as he starts to shake more w each thrust. he’s so focused on feeling good that he forgets abt his pride and starts whining for more, for you to go deeper, harder, faster. that’s how you end up in doggy style w him grinding himself down on your strap to meet each rock of your hips, grateful that he can whimper and drool into the pillows instead of letting his cries ring out in full volume. he’s usually pretty good at holding his noises back if he really wants to, but when you’re filling him to the brim over and over like that, there’s no chance for him to keep quiet. he’d love it if you squeezed n kneaded his thighs until deep imprints were left behind for days afterwards. and if you reach out to play w his nipples from behind or hook your fingers into his mouth, pulling his head back and making him salivate all over them as you repeatedly hit his prostate just right, he may just cum on the spot

binnie - w binnie, i can see it going either way when it comes to who suggests it first! he can be a lil clueless and detached from the world sometimes so he may not even really know what pegging is until u explain it to him. the way his face would change as you go into detail would be so adorable, he’s all nervous nose scrunches and awkward squirming. you can physically see how excited the idea gets him, and he’s down for it almost immediately. he’s honestly pretty flattered that you want him that way hehehe typical binnie, it fuels his lil leo heart like nothing else even if he’s a bit embarrassed over the idea of being in such a vulnerable position in front of you. he’d definitely end up looking up things like “how to look cool and sexy but also cute while getting pegged” as his version of preparation lol. if he’s the one to ask you for it, he’s so so endearing abt it. strangely quiet and timid, ducking his head, shuffling his feet as he struggles to mumble out the question…he’s literally one step away from sinking to the floor and covering his face once he manages to stammer the words. he gives you the most irresistible pout when you tease him for it, if you rest your hands on his hips n tell him how pretty he’s gonna look filled up w you, he will melt instantly. literally weak in the knees over just the thought of it, suddenly he's ready for you to take him right then n there hehe. lots of dramatic whines and swatting shyly at your shoulder through the entire process, bc even if he thrives off your attention, he’s still a teensy bit of a tsundere when he gets so much of it <3

his anticipation is obvious w the way he’s watching everything you do w wide, starry eyes and wiggling around constantly in the sheets. but even so, he tries to put on a brave front bc he wants to impress you, show you how good of a boy he can be for you! when you first push into him you’d get a lot of nervous babbling though 😭 he goes from “don’t hold back, i can take it” to “ah wait wait wait it’s big, slow down” to “it actually d-doesn’t feel that—moans” to “faster please, harder please, deeper please” he gets so talkative and vocal over every little move you make like he’s narrating his thoughts, it’s so cute. esp when you thrust into him extra good and suddenly he shuts all his rambling up w a sharp, high-pitched moan. he is so ridiculously whiny too, esp if you start to make playful comments here n there abt how he’s being such a good boy, taking you so well, moving his hips so well, like his body was made to be fucked like this <3 it simultaneously makes him glow w pride and flusters him out of his mind bc he isn’t sure it’s normal how turned on the thought of being your pretty lil doll makes him (it might be too much for him during ur first time but if you eventually added breeding into the mix he’d lose it mind). like channie, he’s extra starved for your praise when you peg him, so showering him w compliments is a must!! even if they make him pout for you to stop embarrassing him, he isn’t very good at hiding how much he basks in it. drag your hands all over his body and fawn over how strong n beautiful it is, call him your pretty boy as you pull him closer by his hips to reach deeper inside him, murmur how irresistible he is right before you sink your teeth into his broad shoulders ❤️‍🔥 he will literally be making the filthiest, most shameless, wanton sounds you can imagine, and hearing them only turns him on even more. i think binnie definitely has a thing for listening to his own moans when he’s really far gone hehe it makes him feel so slutty in the best way…his voice gets so sweet and cute when you’re making him feels worlds of pleasure he’s never felt before, who could blame him for loving the sound of it, really. also…cup his chest as you get rougher w your thrusts and he’s a complete goner. esp if you squeeze his pecs together and tease him for how they’re so big that you have to hold them down bc they keep bouncing hehe. all it would take is leaning down to suck on his nipples and he’s cumming untouched

hyunjin - he is most definitely thinking abt it from the moment you two get together. it’s smth he wants so bad but if he had to say it out loud he may actually just die of sheer embarrassment, so he keeps it to himself no matter how much he craves it. the question of if you’ll ever bring it up w him is constantly on his mind, bc even if you’re in a d/s relationship, he isn’t sure if you’d be into that aspect of it n he’s worried you’ll think he’s weird for wanting it…hyune’s another shy one who can have a hard time voicing his desires outside of the bedroom ㅠㅠ i think the only surefire way you could really draw it out of him is in the middle of a scene or right after one, where his emotions are still running high and he’s completely controlled by his desire without any of his usual inhibitions, that’s where he tends to say things that he’d be too hesitant to say otherwise, then blush over it later. he might get too lost in the adrenaline rushing through his veins and starts moaning abt how he wants you inside him, to fuck him until he can’t remember his own name, to make him yours in every possible way. it’s very intense and sensual, and at first you wonder if he’s just saying these things in the heat of the moment. but when you ask him abt it afterwards, he suddenly gets so quiet and shy, burying his red face into your neck n mumbling that he can’t believe he said those things out loud </3 and his reaction is all the confirmation you need to know he meant every word~

hyune’s neediness will be battling it out w his awkwardness the entire time you’re prepping him. poor baby is very self critical and can’t stop thinking abt all the things that could go wrong—if you won’t enjoy it, if he’ll look weird, if his size will make it a lil awkward to navigate…you’d need to be very observant of him n pay close attention to his expressions to make sure he’s fully relaxed bc his emotions show all over his face! once your fingers slip inside of him though, he starts to let loose, you can tell by the way his voice rings out loud and clear, suddenly not having any care in the world other than how it feels to be stretched out by you. seeing him slip into that headspace that’s so vulnerable yet so passionate is always smth to marvel at ❤️‍🔥it’s no secret that jinnie is very good w his hips and he makes perfect use of that talent in this situation. he’ll end up grinding down desperately against your palm without even realizing it, rolling his entire body and begging for your strap before you’ve even had the chance to add a third finger n fully open him up. just like chan, his reservations go out the window the moment you actually push the toy inside of him. he makes the most insane facial expressions, eyes rolling back, plump lips swelling and coated w drool from how much he bites down on them, thick brows scrunching together…when his sleepy eyes are blown wide w lust it makes for the most gorgeous sight <3 and if that isn’t enough to tell you how good he’s feeling, he is also extremely vocal too. lots of needy whimpers and groans that are so stretched out you’d think he was exaggerating them. even if he’s bigger than you, he’ll let you toss him around like he’s completely weightless into any position you want, he’s like putty in ur hands. he’d go crazy if you pulled his legs up on your shoulders (speaking of…catboy anon once had the idea of hyune spraying perfume on his ankles so you can smell it when they’re up by ur head and…he absolutely would 😵‍💫 he’s so thoughtful n romantic even when youre putting him through the mattress) if you snaked your hand up his body while taking him from behind and wrapped your fingers around his throat, he would fall apart in a matter of seconds. especially if you pulled him back against your chest by his hair or throat and held him there

jisung - han jisung has been waiting for this moment his entire life 🙏 from the beginning he hardly makes it a secret how desperately he wants you to peg him, he’s probably the one who asks for it first! even if you also have it in mind, he’s so eager that he doesn’t even give you the chance to pose the question, he’s one step ahead of you. long before you two ever discuss the idea, he’s already become very familiar w fingering himself and using all kinds of toys on himself…baby’s got bad hehe. he might even already have a strap prepared bc he’s hopeful that one day he’ll get to try it w you…n he’s definitely gotten off to the thought of it countless times 😽 he’s honestly a lil shameless once he learns that you’re just as down as he is, but his reaction is so endearing. he goes from stuttering out the question through breathy, awkward chuckles, to perking up like an excited puppy when you respond positively. his eyes practically gleam and he breaks out into the widest, sunniest smile repeating “really? really really? like, seriously? you’re not making fun of me, right? i’ll get really sad if you’re just teasing”…w his big doe eyes n hopeful face, who wouldn’t give him anything his lil heart desires

he’s ready to go right away, you may actually have to stop him from running to go retrieve his strap and bring it to you right then and there 😭 he’s so grateful and so enthusiastic, neither of you really anticipates the sudden bout of shyness that inevitably hits him once you actually start to lead up into the pegging. he’s fingered himself plenty of times before, and that knowledge makes for the perfect opportunity for you to tease him a lil, telling him to finger himself open in front of you so you can see how he likes it slide into him w ease~ he whines like crazy but still does his best to obey…lying down n spreading his legs for you, unable to mask the neediest whimpers that build in his throat the more he pushes into himself, wishing it was you instead. though his face is burning w embarrassment, he also sees it as a good opportunity to appeal to you, too. he tries to show you a preview of how pretty he’ll look once you finally fuck him, playing out his moans and facial expressions to rile you up. eventually, though, his patience wears thin and he just starts begging for you to take over ): after all, poor hannie has done this alone far too many times, he needs you. he’s so ridiculously squirmy once you finally ease into him, to the point where you might have to hold him down or restrain him somehow so you can fuck him properly. it’s difficult for him to sit still no matter how hard he tries, he’s just so full of energy and reactive to every lil bit of stimulation, keening desperately when you pull out of him and gasping dramatically when you thrust back in all at once. he’s never felt this full in his life and he feels like he could sob from relief finally getting to experience it. he wants to try everything—one minute he wants you to take him softly n sensually, the next he wants you pounding into him. he’d keep begging for smth new every few minutes bc he’s so eager he’s just aching to try it all, like he might not get the chance to again. that goes for positions too; missionary, mating press, doggy, full nelson, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, etc. he esp loves riding you bc he feels like he’s putting on a show for you! he gets to bask in all your attention and praises as he bounces on your strap, not bothering to hold back his whines and moans in the slightest bc he knows how much you love them <3 if you could manage to hold him up against a wall and fuck him like that w his legs hooked around your waist, he would absolutely lose his mind, he likes being manhandled a lil bit too. he wants you to just completely wreck him in every way possible, to the point where he’s covered w hickeys and bite marks and can barely walk afterwards. he will most definitely try to subtly brag abt it to the other boys abt it the next day, complaining abt how sore he is and letting out cute, exaggerated noises of discomfort when he sits down or exerts himself too hard…he’s a lil proud of it hehe but if anyone actually points it out he’ll turn beet red and curl into himself, trying not to get turned on all over again from the mere memory of what you did to him

felix - curious kitty #2! in lix’s case, it’s not really a matter of if, but when. pegging is smth he’s always wanted to try out given how eager he is to explore every kink under the sun w you, to him it’s more a matter of whether or not you would be willing to. you both fall into the roles so naturally in a way he's longed for his entire life, and once that trust is established n fostered between the two of you, he’s more than ready to give you his all knowing that he’ll be safe n accepted w you <3 even if he's a lil reserved n awkward abt it, he really makes it no secret what he wants, and he has the added privilege of looking so unfairly innocuous even when asking you to do the wildest things to him…you never quite know what to expect from him next. he’s definitely experimented w fingering himself in the past, but bc his fingers are so small a lot of the time it’s difficult for him to hit the right angles or satisfy himself properly, so he just ends up even more frustrated and needy, wishing you were the one fucking him instead ):

lixie’s a very thoughtful boy just like chan and lino, he wants to make things go as smoothly as possible to show you how grateful he is that you would do this for him! but he ends up being pretty reliant on you through the whole process, he can’t help but look to you for guidance on every little thing so his tendency to overthink means you might have to coddle him a lil more than usual ㅠㅠ he’s so sweet and obedient though, literally the good boy of your dreams following each gentle command you give him w a giddy smile. like minho, he’d absolutely love to suck your strap beforehand, both as a way to get it nice n wet and to turn you on…do not fall for those big, angelic eyes looking up at you as he takes the toy as far down his throat as he can…he knows exactly what he’s doing ❤️‍🔥 it also eases his mind a bit to be able to do smth for you, he gets so into it he almost forgets what’s to come and would gladly keep going until his voice is hoarse. once you first enter him (w plenty of lube…i think lix would need it hehe) he’d also love to just stay that way for a bit and “cockwarm” you…he gets a lil sappy abt it and just wants to be in your lap, face to face w you nestled inside him as he adjusts to the stretch. w lots n lots of kissing!! eventually though he starts to get a lil squirmy, letting out soft lil grunts, and you can feel him growing harder where his cock is wedged between the two of you. so you grab hold of his waist and encourage him to start riding you <3 lix would be another one who loves positions where he can feel small, even if he’s bigger than you! he’d feel so safe and secure nuzzling into your neck as he bounces on your lap, and being held down w his legs over his head in a mating press would make his brain melt into mush. i think his favorite would definitely be full nelson though hehe…smth abt how helpless and exposed he is in that position turns him on to an insane degree. he’d also definitely find a way to hold your hands in whichever position you take <3 the noises he makes start out very low and husky w your careful thrusts, but the more you pick up the pace the higher and louder his voice gets. he sounds so sweet and angelic, the moment you first hit his prostate he makes a sound that you have trouble even believing came from him bc of how squeaky it comes out, like a cute lil shout. if you had him in missionary, his legs would be wrapped tight around you the entire time, making it a lil more difficult to move bc he’s got some strong thighs but the gesture is so cute u dont mind. it also makes for the perfect opportunity to tease him that he must want you to finish inside him n fill him up…you can physically see the effect those words have on him. his eyes go so wide and his whole body shudders, and just like that he’s climaxing <3 a few days later you’ve got lixie looking innocent as ever, beaming at you as he presents you w the new ejaculating strap he got to make it a reality hehe

seungmin - minnie is shy!! not necessarily in the giggly, blushy, stuttery way like chan. seungmin is more modest, reserved, and quiet—a lil awkward abt it. out of all the boys, i think he would be the least inclined to try pegging, and he definitely isn’t the one to bring it up, so that’s all in your hands. when you suggest incorporating it into your dynamic, at first he’d probably be pretty unwilling to explore it and just flat out says no bc he just doesn’t think he could feel fully comfortable w smth like that. but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t spend a lot of time mulling it over in private, even after he’s initially rejected the idea. his lil analytical virgo brain starts to think abt why you’d be interested in pegging in the first place, the new kinds of pleasure it would bring you both, the intimacy of an act like that, and how it might bring you and him closer together to experience. do not be fooled by his composure, kim seungmin is a sentimental softie who is very in touch w his emotions!! his desire to connect w you however he can extends to all facets of your relationship, and as daunting as the vulnerability of subbing can be for him sometimes, that vulnerability is the exact same reason why he values it so much. so, eventually, he decides that the same can be applied to bottoming for the first time and he changes his own mind hehe

he wants to be good for you. he’s so disciplined and obedient, he takes it very seriously and is genuinely a perfect sub (when he wants to be lol, sometimes he’s difficult on purpose) but when trying smth so out of his wheelhouse for the first time, he has some trouble shaking the awkwardness which makes him a lil stiff, a bit less pliant than usual. poor seungmo can’t help but be hyperaware of every sound he lets slip out, every expression he makes, every embarrassing, involuntary reaction his body has to your minstrations. so you can imagine how all of that would be turned up to a 100 when it comes to pegging bc all the focus is on him and his pleasure. he isn’t used to having that degree of attention on his body, esp not…those parts of his body. he’s even shyer than you’re used to during foreplay, just letting a few sighs and grunts slip and looking away timidly when you stare at him for too long. you’d have to be extra observant of his reactions and facial expressions to see what he likes the most, bc he has a tendency to suppress himself. one thing he does make sure to do though is periodically let you know that he’s still okay, through a quick lil nod or hand squeeze. he’d prefer to start out w him lying on his tummy, not facing you. it spares him the embarrassment of you seeing his features twist in pleasure, and he can also push his face into the pillows to mask all his noises. he might wanna wear a big hoodie or sweater to cover up his body too. i think he’d spend extra time adjusting in comparison to the other boys, partially bc he’s nervous n partially bc he wants to bask in the moment a bit. kinda like lix, he really values the closeness of just being connected like that and stays unmoving w you inside him for a while <3 he starts off swallowing down his noises so they only come out as cute, hushed lil whimpers, but as you start to ease in and out of him, even he can’t hold back as much as he wants to. it feels so strange but so relieving, almost like you’re fulfilling a desire he hadn’t even known was there until now. he mostly lets out gentle exhales and mewls, and when you hit his sweet spot for the first time, a full on gasp, which is pretty dramatic for seungmin hehe. even if you can’t see his expressions, you can see his fingers digging into the sheets and his muscles clenching with effort and his hips starting to rock into the mattress. if you leaned down to press kisses down his spine, he would shudder so beautifully n let out the sweetest moan for you. when he’s far gone enough to give in completely to the pleasure, he goes limp beneath you and allows you to flip him over so you can finally get a look at his pretty blissed out face. and when you do, he looks up at you w the most adoring lovestruck puppy gaze like you put the stars in the sky, just pure hearts floating in his big brown eyes that immediately lets you know he’s way more into this than either of you thought he’d be 🥰

jeongin - like binnie, i think there’s a good chance he might be kinda clueless as to what pegging even really is, so he wouldn’t be the one to suggest it first or even consider it an option. when you first introduce the idea to him, poor innie sputters smth like “eh? that’s a thing????” and you can practically see a whole new world of possibilities opening up in his wide, sparkly eyes. it makes his heart race a bit if he’s being honest, but he also feels a lil unsure abt it bc he’s never even really thought abt having anything…go inside of him…just imagining it gets him all squirmy, red in the face, n playing nervously w his ears. he’d probably call you a perv at first for even wanting smth like that and acts like he isn’t interested in trying it…however…just like seungmin, do not be fooled!! he spends the next several days thinking abt it, maybe a lil too often. in innie’s case he keeps going back to it partially out of curiosity, and partially bc he is very much a pleaser who craves your approval deep down, almost to the same degree as chan and jisung. he just doesn’t want you to know that hehe…unfortunately for him it’s kinda obvious in the way he brings it up many times afterwards, mostly through asking questions that he thinks are casual like “so…*clears throat* how big would it even be?” or “is it really supposed to feel that good?” or even nagging you like “seriously, why’d you have to say smth so weird? now i can’t stop thinking abt it” w lots of awkward giggles to make it seem like a joke but when he’s constantly making lil comments abt it unprovoked you quickly start to catch on hehe…he looks so genuinely hopeful and curious without even realizing, you can’t help but tease him a bit for how transparent he is

i think innie really wants to impress you! as you’re leading into the pegging he’s extra nervous and kinda out of his element, bc he feels like he can’t really do anything to appeal to you like usual…he sometimes tends to lean into the role of a service sub bc he feeds off your praises like nothing else. he loves when you teach him how to please you properly, even more so when he does it right and earns a proud reaction from you, a moan or a headpat and a "good boy". but when he’s the one getting all the pleasure…well, as much as he craves being the center of your attention, he inevitably gets a bit bashful. he will be hiding his face a lot, covering his eyes w his fingers or clamping his hand over his mouth trying to stifle himself bc the sounds that are leaving his lips are embarrassingly loud. like channie, he'd need a lot of praise and reassurance through it all! he can't even try to pretend like he's confident or knows what he's doing, and the entire time he's watching you w the widest, most fascinated gaze that gives away how much he really depends on you to guide him through it. he giggles so much, both out of shyness and in an attempt to ease his nerves. he can barely get a sentence out without tripping over his words or letting out breathy lil chuckles, and you have to periodically remind him to loosen up a bit as you're fingering him open bc he stiffens every time a jolt of pleasure passes through him. it’s all so unfamiliar but so good, he feels like he has no control over his body anymore, and that only amplifies once you actually slide your strap inside. he is gasping and writhing and letting out the most shameless moans he's ever heard in his life, but as much as it makes his face burn red, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself no matter how hard he tried. the best way to get him to relax and completely melt into it is to whisper sweet words to him through it all, tell him how pretty he looks and sounds when he’s feeling good, how well he's taking every inch of you even when he’s so tight, how he's such a good boy and a fast learner <3 jeongin quickly learns that the praises you give him simply for getting fucked into a cute moaning mess make his brain short circuit like nothing else, he could get addicted to it. i think he’s one of the most likely to go a lil dumb from it hehe…he leans a lot more into the guilty pleasure side of him that’s used to being pampered n doted on~

[writefightandflightclub]

it's almost time for chapter two of ride or die 🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰 I'm readyyyyy.

Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

Anyways, I have a question for you.

What made you decide on writing the whole story first before posting instead of like everytime you finished a chapter you posted it? Did u write it chronological? Or was there certain scenes you just HAD to write first bc they were making you sleepless? What's the story behind the fic? Did u had the story in mind when u posted that first chapter years ago? Or was the support of the readers asking for a second part the thought that made you go: "I can totally make this a story"?

Sorry if those are a lot of questions....I'm just a curious girl. 🫣 Feel free to not answer me if u don't wanna.

Take care 💜

Lola, you are giving me LIFE.

Thank you for indulging me. My lil writer heart is so happy to receive these questions! 🧡☺️🥹

So, I decided to write the whole series before posting mainly so I could force myself to finish it! I’ve completed some series before by posting chapters on the fly… but I also have others which are unfinished with the concluding parts languishing in my drafts. So, I really wanted to know this was DONE, in part so I could escape the pressure / guilt (self-imposed) which sometimes comes with winging it. But also so I could give a satisfying conclusion to anyone who chose to kindly invest their precious time in it.

As well, omg. I felt so wrapped up with these characters that I sorta wanted to write their story free of external comments and perspectives. I felt like there were specific places I wanted them to go, and I wonder, if I had been responding to comments as the story was still unfolding, might I have started second guessing things or taking it in a different direction? And don’t get me wrong, comments are my FAVE thing, I live for hearing all the different takes and interpretations, and feedback has been endlessly helpful and meaningful to me. I’m grateful for every single one! I just sorta wanted to let the characters in my head have first dibs on where they wanted to go this time, you know?! ☺️ An honestly, most of the time I have NO IDEA where I’m going with something, but this time I had a little bit more of an idea of the arc I wanted, and so this made sense.

Practically, it was also so I could get the continuity right from chapter to chapter. A later moment might change my perspective on an earlier scene, and if I posted outright I wouldn’t have had the flexibility to make changes.

On that note, the flexibility turned out to be needed. Some things even changed pretty last minute.

I definitely didn’t write it chronologically. I jump around a lot when I write. It’s CHAOS!!!

Tbh, I never had any continuation or larger story in mind when this started, and I fully credit all of the wonderful readers of that one-shot for this being a thing AT ALL beyond that! Chapter 1, in its OG form, was actually my first EVER Santiago one shot, and I loved the pairing so much that, with encouragement, I resolved to do a “part 2”!

However, their situation is actually so complicated that it… wouldn’t resolve quickly, yk?! The characters needed more space to breathe and grow (and to go through some stuff). And so now it’s LONG. It just… expanded as the characters pushed it apart.

I had a blast 🤣🤣🤣

In terms of scenes that were making me sleepless? Hmm. I spent a LOT of time thinking and pondering and playing out variations in my head. A LOT. There’s a flashback scene I was itching to write for a very tender moment contained in it (that chapter is far too long gah). And there’s a scene between Santi and Frankie that’s a real highlight for me.

Also, I cried MANY times while writing this agshsjajshahkahshsjjaj.

Thank you so much for being so sweet and being interested. I can’t tell you how much it means, fr. 🥹🧡

[bitchylandtyphoon]

Sugar on Honey🍯

A/N: Hellooo I hope you guys are doing great I just wanted to try writing a Jim Hopper fic since I barely see any like come on he's so fine and ugh. Ahem anyways pls enjoy the story if u have any recommendations feel free to comment! If u have a request feel free to send a message to me! I'm still new to Tumblr so I'm not really sure how to work any of this sorry about that! ------------------------------------❈---------------------------------------- Hopper didn’t understand how you were so calm with Eleven. He tried, he really did. He took care of Eleven as if he was her own but he couldn't be as gentle and soft as you were. “This is an apple ok? It's red, sweet and a fruit. This is a cucumber, it's green and a vegetable!” Hopper watched as you taught Eleven basic English. “Ok, now you try” You hold up a bunch of grapes. “These are...grapes, sweet, blue and...fruit?” Eleven guessed while squinting hard at the grapes. “Heyyyy not bad! You're doing great, you just mixed up purple with blue but no biggie. Do you wanna do another one?” You said encouragingly. Eleven nods and proceeds to pick another product to investigate. “Oooh~ Hopper watches as you two laugh and learn, he couldn't stop himself from smiling, he appreciated what you were doing especially since Eleven was on house arrest. You were the only one he could trust. He absentmindedly takes a sip of his dark coffee hissing as it was too hot to drink. “You ok?” Hopper looks up to see you looking at him with a worried expression on your face. He loved that face, it was pretty cute. He chuckled “Ye, just too hot to drink” “Be careful before you burn your tongue off for good” You start cleaning the food off of the ground. “Yeah yeah, I won't mom” Hopper jokes as he goes into the kitchen. “Very funny Hopper haha” You give a playful glare “What is so funny? Ha...ha?” Eleven asks, seeing you two joking around not understanding the sarcasm. “Oh it's just sarcasm honey, try finding it in the dictionary, you'll find the meaning there.” You give a gentle smile while pointing to the thick book. “Well, there you go word of the day.” Hopper comes back into the hall sitting in the big chair stirring his spoon in the white coffee-stained mug. You wondered how much coffee he really drinks in a day. “S-A-R-C-A-S-M? the use of i- irony to m-mock or con-convey contempt?” Eleven read trying to read the words correctly. She looked at you for guidance and approval. “Good job kid, you’re doing so well, I need to go now, be a good girl for me ok?” you kissed her crown and gave a hug feeling her arms slowly wrapping around your bottom. “Bye-bye now~” “Bye (Y/N)” Eleven gave a small shy smile as she watched you look for your coat. “Here you go, make sure to zip up” Hopper gives you your coat helping you put it on. “Mm thanks, Hopper” “You want a ride?” Hopper suggests side-eyeing you while he refills his coffee. “I think ill manage, il call if anything happens” “Nope nope it's freezing, not letting you go out alone especially when it's night,” He says sternly as he puts on his coat and boots grabbing his keys on the way to the door “I'll be fine-” “Come on, let's go” You sigh “Ok fine” You trudge to his truck knowing he wouldn't let you win the argument. Giving a small wave to Eleven through the window. You pull his hand stopping him from going too close to the truck. “What, what's wrong, did you forget something?” Hopper asked “No you did” Hopper gives you a confused look “Eleven” “What about her?” “You didn't tell her bye” You take your hand backcrossing it against your chest as you look at the chief disappointed. Hopper sighs and goes back to the house, you watch as he tells Eleven bye” “Happy?” He says with his arms out as he walks towards you. “Depends,” You say as you open the truck door. You wait until he starts the car and starts moving out of the parking area. “What did you tell her?” “What?” “What did you tell her?” “I told her to keep the doors locked, not go out, keep windows and curtains closed-” “Hopperrr” You interrupt him,

sighing with your head down “What have I told you, give be gentle with her. She’s smart and strong, she can handle herself if anything happens. All you have to do is give her a simple bye and a hug” You put a hand on his leg “I know you're trying Jim, I really do know that. I've seen some progress and I'm really happy for both of you. Don’t be so harsh on her ok? She’s just a kid” Hopper sighs calming under your touch. “I know, I know I just. I feel like if I don't be hard on her, she’ll run away, get in some serious trouble and go meet her boyfriend.” Hopper rolls his eyes thinking of Eleven and MIke together. “Well if I was on house arrest and a teenager I would've run away to see my boyfriend too,” You say taking your hand off of his leg. “No you wouldn’t, you wouldn't even go out to the park, you were too much of a wuss,” He says as he looks for something in his coat. You dramatically gasp “Ok first of all, you're right, I would've never run away. Second, I have strict parents and you know that. Third I am not a wuss I just like staying home,” you sigh “who am I kidding I hated going out and being around people, especially with those dumb kids running around” You shake your head thinking of how introverted you were as a kid. Hopper laughs, throwing his head back watching you jokingly pout at him. He takes a cigarette out of his right pocket. “Well you were always the kid in the back of the room, quiet and shy, never understood how you could keep your mouth shut for so long” You grab the cigarette out of his mouth throwing it away somewhere in the car making him give you a glare “You know how my parents are, “be quiet,” “be good,'' “do good in school”, “no boys”” You say, quoting your parents' famous words. “Well at least they raised a good person,” He said, giving a genuine compliment your way. “Hah, that was all my doing” Frowning remembering how horrible your parents were at raising a child. You saw Hopper turning the radio on. You knew what he was doing but you weren't going to stop him at all. He turned it to the classic rock channel starting to sing and rock his head. Ah, how you loved him. Hey hey baby when you walk that way, Watch your honey drip, can't keep away Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ahOh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ah. “Here comes Jim Hopper, everyone missing members of Led Zeppelin'' You say as if there's a crowd. I gotta roll, can't stand still Got a flamin' heart, can't get my fill You laugh at how amusing he sounds, he's not half bad for the chief of police. Eyes that shine, burnin' red Dreams of you all through my head You throw your head back clutching your stomach, you just couldn't stop laughing. “Come on singggg, I know you know this one” Hopper says encouraging you to sing. “Noooo, are you crazy?!” You yell at him “Come onnnn” He pushes you You roll your eyes as he starts singing again. Hey, baby, oh baby, pretty baby Move me like you're doin' now- “Who knew the kitten could sing huh?” Hopper looks at you while you start singing with a big smile.

Didn't take too long 'fore I found out What people mean by down and out

Spent my money, took my car Started tellin' her friends she gonna be a star~ ------------------------------------❈---------------------------------------- “Thanks for the ride, really appreciate it Jim. Goodnight. Make sure to get some rest ok?” You say as you close the door “Yeah yeah mom, I get it” You give him a glare through the window door. Giving him a wave you turn around to your place. “Hold on!” You hear Hopper's voice shout behind you. Stopping in your tracks you turn around to see Hopper speed walking towards trying not to slip from the thick snow on the ground. The night was so beautiful, the snow was thick and flowing down like paper, it wasn't too cold but just cold enough to make the tip of your nose red. The street lights were on looking like yellow stars in the dark blue sky. It was perfect. “You forgot your bag,” He said, giving it to you. “Oh? OH thank you” you said, giving him a thankful smile while reaching for the bag. “It's fine, it's not like I'm gonna steal it now” Hopper chuckles putting his hands in his coat pockets. “Well, why would anyone steal a gift they gave to someone else?” You said giggling as you put the bag on. He grins “It looks good on you by the way, really suits you” “Oh, thanks” You blush at the comment while brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I was just thinking, you don't have to if you want, but I just wanted to ask you if u wanted to go on a date? I was thinking of a restaurant but only if u wanted to go there, we can go somewhere else, really up to you," he sighed "I'm gonna shut up now, have a goodnight” Hopper turned on his heel and started leaving but felt a tug on his coat. “I would love to go on a date with you Jim,” You said, giving him a gentle smile. You stood up on your tiptoes giving him a peck on the cheek. It felt different because of the stubble but you liked it. The butterflies in both of your stomachs were going crazy, fluttering around as if they were being chased by a bird. You wanted to stay in his warm embrace but fell back down due to the height difference.

“6 pm Friday at Johnnie's?” “I would love that, casual dress code?” “Why would we need a dress code?” He joked “Hoppperr” You hit his chest distancing yourself heading to your house. You stood on the porch seeing him waiting for you to go in your house safely. You lean against your doorway. “Goodnight Jim” God he loved it when you called him by Jim, it was like sugar on honey. “Goodnight kitten” You smiled at the nickname.

Heading inside you close the door, leaning against it. “EEEEEEEEEEE he actually asked me out, oh my god” You laugh at how excited you were acting. You couldn't wait. --------------------------------------❈-------------------------------------- Hopper headed to his truck getting in and turning the radio on. “Good job Hop, good job” He chuckled as he drove off. He couldn't wait.

[genshin-impacted]

gift giving // Diluc x Reader

notes: first-person POV, gender-neutral reader, you have a best friend, diluc is lowkey a sugar-daddy; very different format from my usual writing (no capitalization); I assure you I know how to capitalize but not in this fic

wc: ~1300

insp.

diluc offers me something small at first; a trinket that reminds him of me and i feel endeared because he thought of me. and he keeps giving me gifts, sometimes by hand and others via delivery. and each one grows more expensive than the other. it goes from a simple hair tie to a pearled broach to diamond inlaid slippers, all delivered on our shared doorstep with nothing but his name as the sender.

i don't know what to think. i was flattered by his attention and now i'm confused on what this all means when he has yet to talk to me about anything. and without talking to me, i don't know his intentions and it's hard not to think about ulterior motives even if its someone like diluc.

back when this first started, i brought up gift reciprocity but its so hard to buy something for him when he can buy anything u can get for him. he seems to be surprised at first that i even offered, like that didn't even come to mind that i would get him smth that reminds me of him. he says i don't need to, and asks me how i like the hair tie i'm wearing that he gifted. my response only encourages his behavior, his feelings for me (and for me adorning his gifts) only growing.

but now with gifts far too pricey, there's just no way i can buy anything of equal value, and that makes me uncomfortable because it makes me feel like i might have to offer smth else in return. (diluc doesn't expect anything back at all; he truly just wants to shower his person of affection with riches he never really cared for but now that he can buy something for someone he cares about it's a little addicting.)

i address this issue with my best friend and they meet diluc when he walks to the doorway to drop something off for me-- something more modest, thank god, they think, but they have to ask anyway. "diluc, why don't you deliver these in person?" not the exact question they want to ask but they figure they can build up to it.

"i don't always come at the most convenient of times," he points out. "i don't think many are awake at dawn or in the dead of night."

"you'd be surprised," they say. "we're usually awake at night so you should try coming then." instead of leaving things in the doorway, they want to add.

diluc blinks and the grip on his gift tightens. "visiting someone so late at night, well-" and to their surprise, his cheeks redden, as though he's more embarrassed by the notion of visiting someone he's sweet on after dusk than his rather conspicuous and abundant spoiling with material goods. they never chalked master diluc up as an ostentatious man, and now you think maybe he doesn't realize how his actions may look if that's the reaction you get for suggesting something relatively harmless like a visit (late or not).

"i think they would like it a lot if u hand-delivered your gifts at least," they say, getting into the crux of the problem. when he shifts, they quickly suggest, "or maybe leave a letter saying... anything? it would be nice for her to hear from you i think."

my best friend will have to profusely refuse a thank-you gift for your advice, but they receive a gift in tow anyways despite their best efforts. (having your best friend being doted on by the richest bachelor in town had its perks after all.)

letters come with the gifts. (and i must have talked to him about the luxury items because they are less costly now, though some of them still peak with price.) my best friend come back home to see me rereading and pouring over the letters he wrote me. he writes formally, his words more like a medieval lord than anything he's done so far, and it is not difficult to swoon over the subtle way he shares his day with me and read what i hope is his feelings for me in-between the lines

gifts are not my love language. i fumble with gift giving when it comes to the way diluc can spoil me, and i can never win against him (not as though i can lose either). but i try my best to create something for him before i can go and ask for his time, which i find invaluable above all else.

it is a mini project i undertake, making two albums for him and me. one to keep all his letters and flowers pressed into the pages and the other for pictures of the past, present, and hopefully future.

on days i meet up with him, i always purposely wear something he has given me. his attention on me is always rapt, his red eyes trailing after me like i'm the most captivating thing in mondstadt, and it makes me feel small and big all at once-- shy and confident. for this one, i wear the hair tie he's given me and deliver the gift.

he is speechless. (i assume he likes it.)

then i let myself explain how i feel about the gifts. "what do you think of me?" i ask. "i want to know for sure so i can make sense of the gifts."

"make sense?" he echoes.

"yeah. i love my friends and i would love to gift them all types of things, and you're doing the same thing but... i want to know in what way. is it the same way or is it different?" i continue. "you... like seeing me in the things you buy for me right? in what way?"

"i want to spoil you," diluc says simply. "is that strange?" he reaches out to my hair, tied up in that hairtie of his, and i cannot look at him in the eyes.

"in what way?" i ask again and dare to glance back up.

he breathes out slowly. "in any way you want."

i squeeze my hands, urging me to be brave. "in that case, would you go on a date with me then? for dinner?" you pause. "I'm paying." when he intends to protest, i quickly rebut, "i need to share in the costs or i'll go insane, diluc, please. or tell me at least how i can-"

"dinner," diluc says, and i marvel at the way he blushes, “that would be..."

"good?" i supply playfully.

"...more than good," he finishes. the small smile he gives me relaxes me immediately.

"i cant be bought," i say to him quietly.

"i know." he says, "that was never my intention."

"i need you to let me know how to spoil you too."

"you already are," diluc says, eyes flickering to the hairtie, and when he lifts my sleeve up just enough to see the bracelet he gave me also, his gaze lingers on my wrist.

i flush under his undivided attention; i always do. "i- that cant be all," i stammer nervously, the poise i came with to confront him out the window when i feel his gloved fingers press against the tender part of my pulse.

"we can think of other ways," he says, and his eyes are intense as always. i feel myself burn in his gaze. "always in your comfort. always."

"okay," i say, small, but in a good way, like he always makes me feel whenever he looks at me as though there can be no one else like me. it makes my head light. "I'm looking forward to it," i say, and he looks at me curiously, "to spoiling each other.”

"me too," he says, and he means it, just as much as each gift meant something when given to me-- that i can understand now.

[utterlyinevitable]

5,30 for Ethan x MC throw in all the angst you can ! Thank u 💖

5. things you didn’t say at all 30. things I wish you’d said

From the things you said prompt list. Send me a pairing and number and I’ll write a mini fic!

this fic has gotten way longer than intended.... 

---

Narcissus Sent a Package

Rebecca Lao walked to the Diagnostics Office ready for her shift. She was overjoyed that things started to become semi-normal between her and Ethan after she called him a diva and spoiled brat outside their patient’s house two days ago. She was thankful the awkward tension dissipated. 

Through the glass door she could see, sitting on the round table, where the team of Baz, Becca, June and Ethan met multiple times a day to deliberate on cases, was a basket. A gift basket of a large bouquet of flowers and a box wrapped prettily with a bow. 

The air around the office became strained almost immediately upon Becca’s arrival. 

June stood at the table and immediately turned to the resident, manicured thin eyebrows raised, as she walked in. Ethan was sat at his desk, attention on whatever lay before him. Baz was in a chair eying the basket with an embossed card addressed to the youngest member of the team. 

“You have an admirer,” he spoke. Baz’s eyes were alight with intrigue - this was the most interesting thing to happen in months. 

Becca’s brows furrowed together. Since when did anyone send gifts to the team? Who did she know that would send such a display? 

She crossed the distance to inspect the gift basket. As she reached for the card she got a waft of sweetness from the fresh flowers - A bouquet of sweet pea and daffodil. The pinks and purples and yellows really complimented one another, and looked so out of place in the minimally modern room. 

To herself, Becca read the words on the thick, definitely expensive, ivory card printed in black calligraphy;  

Dr. R ‘2nd is the best’. But I like to think third time’s the charm. Looking forward to it.  - T

The color drained from her face. 

He wouldn’t. 

The entire drunken escapade from weeks prior came rushing back to her all at once;

She knew she shouldn’t indulge another endeavor with the handsome stranger. It was a disaster waiting to happen. God, she hated the way this man smiled - like he was a python devouring her whole. But in the dim light of Donahue’s, Bryce’s encouraging winks and nods from a few stools down, and the free drinks pouring, maybe a dance with the devil was exactly what she needed. A bit of mind numbing sex never hurt anybody, right?

No; 

This wouldn’t hurt Becca, or him, but in time it would hurt Ethan.

'Caroline’ downed her drink and gave Reggie the signal for another shot. Tobias and she clinked glasses as she weighed her options one final time. 

Then they made their way to the bathroom. 

Her eyes flitted from the card to the purposeful gift and back again. 

He did. 

And the intention behind it washed over her. 

Shit.

“Wow, Becca. I didn’t think you had it in you,” June appraised, pulling the resident back to the room of awaiting bystanders. 

Becca folded the card back up and placed it far away from the others reach. “What?” she responded, slightly dazed by this complete and utter spectacle laid out before her - the brazen flaunt of distrust.   

June’s tight smile was all too telling. “Tobias,” she nodded towards the card and raised her eyebrows, “I’m impressed.” 

Of course she read the card first. 

As much as Becca wanted to smack that smirk off of Dr. Hirata’s face she refrained. It wasn’t worth making a scene. The damage was already done. June pulled the trigger with that transparent remark. 

Of course she purposefully said his name out loud.

A pager cut through the gross tension coating the diagnostics office. It was Baz’s and he wordlessly fled the scene. 

“Excuse me,” June left the room in his wake, leaving the inevitable drama to unfold. 

Body tense, Becca hesitantly moved to the present. It was weighted, much too heavy to be a box of chocolates. Stupidly, she stole a glance at Ethan. He was sitting straight up, body turned from her, face stoic and doing his best to be uninterested.  

She went to pull back the glossy purple paper, revealing the gift. Becca managed to uncover it halfway before everything clicked. 

Staring back at her was a sparkly, aged bottle of amber scotch. 

“I...” she pulled the rest of the paper back to reveal the name. 

Fuck. 

“I don’t think this was meant for me.” 

Her words were loud and clear and ringing off the furniture, vibrating all around him. 

And Ethan’s cover was blown; 

“Wha-” he finally looked over at her, curiosity getting the better of him.  

She turned to him and held up the box, “It’s your favorite.” 

He didn’t miss the regret in her eyes. It was a darker amber than the expensive liquid she held. Her tight lips, pressed together and the light flush on her cheeks told him it was true. 

The woman he fell for was involved with Tobias Carrick. 

Ethan moved across the office quickly and with intention, coming just close enough to Becca to inspect the bottle. He did his best to keep a semblance of space between them.  

He held the box in his hands. Inspecting. Deliberating. Letting his mind draw up as many conclusions has possible. 

Her voice cut through, “I didn’t even tell him my real name.”

It was an decibel above a whisper, and not the consolation she meant it to be.

Ethan’s eyes were trained on the scotch. His features unmoving and frozen in place. The only sign of life was the small rise and fall of his chest as he attempted to swallow the lump in his throat.      

Becca wished she hadn’t said anything. Wished that she just took the bouquet and unopened scotch back to her locker so no one had to know her personal business. More than anything, she wished she didn’t do it. She wished she let Tobias Carrick stay that nameless man in the club and pretended not to remember him at Donahue’s that night. 

“Why on earth would you sleep with my ex-best friend, my rival?” It was more rhetorical than anything.  

“We hooked up that’s all.”   

They didn’t have sex. Thank God. 

They were interrupted by loud rapping on the door and Reggie’s voice calling for them to “get another room”. As they put their shirts back on, and Becca was free from Tobias’ warmth between her legs, realization set in. Her heart wasn’t in it. She couldn’t do it. Becca denied going home with him and hoped to never see him again. 

Unfortunately for her work forced their hands.   

Ethan couldn’t help but let the a few careful emotions seep through as he barked, “What does that even mean? What does this mean?” He pointed between the flowers and the scotch. 

Becca could feel the bottled up anger emanating off of him. And frankly, it pissed her off. 

Ethan chose to sever any romantic ties they could have had in the name of her professional growth and ethics. It was his choice. As much as Becca didn’t agree, she respected his decision. She’s tried so hard to move on. 

“Okay,” She held up her pointer finger ready to unleash the truth. “The first time I had no idea who he was! He was some rando at a club.”

It took everything in Ethan, every morsel of self control, to keep from asking when the first time was. When she first succumbed to his rival and how many times there were after that. How long after they slept together the night of her hearing did she jump into bed with someone else? How long after kissing him his first night back did she invalidate every single thing she ever said about wanting him? 

He’d rather know about her salacious escapes with the scalpel jockey than with the likes of Tobias Carrick.

“And we did fool around in the bathroom at a bar a few weeks,” Becca continued her explanation on how she came to know the olive skinned stranger. “Then at the Bloom’s it clicked.”  

During her entire soliloquy Ethan didn’t falter. He didn’t even acknowledge her person. His mind moved faster than her explanations. He dissected every word falling tastelessly off her tongue. He weighed the truth of each sentence and collected every scenario hiding in the subtext.  

Becca watched as he mulled. At least, she assumed, he was marinating and assessing her words. Ethan was a statue in front of her. Eyes darker than she’s ever seen and hollow. Devoid of emotion as they stayed locked on the offending item in his white-knuckled hands.  

She wished he would say something, anything. Any words, even venomous ones, would be better than the sullen look on his face. 

Becca thought things were getting better between them; she thought they were making progress. All their differences aside, they were getting along. They were becoming better friends. Becca was one of the rare few people Ethan could actually trust. 

And now... 

With a rueful huff he unceremoniously freed the bottle of its confines. 

Ethan’s mind was reeling - racing a mile a minute as their bodies stood frozen in place. As their bodies protected themselves.

First she weasels her way into his life, driving him to distraction and making him fall for her. She frazzled his mind with intrusive thoughts of her, so strong he needed a sabbatical. Then she’s dismantling the fundamentals of his team, everything he and his mentor worked their careers to build. Now, he feels as if he never really knew her at all. 

Tobias Carrick always coveted everything Ethan Ramsey had; even after their medical school years ended, the distain still existed. Ethan could handle it all - every single dig and undermining being thrown his way. He learned to rise above the schemes every time Tobias tried and failed to outdo him. Ethan Ramsey was capable of moving on, forgetting everything without a second thought. 

Everything except for this. 

This was the one thing he could never overcome. She was the one thing Tobias could win at. 

It never even crossed Ethan’s mind that Tobias could have her too. Even worse were the thoughts of how Tobias could have found her. Did the universe bring them together just as he assumed it divinely brought her into his life? Was he always destined to have to fight with Tobias for all he earned? 

Ethan noted how he could never be narcissistic enough to send a one-night stand a gift basket.

Yet what made Ethan stir the most was how unashamed and brash the gesture was. Aside from the subtext, Ethan could never bring himself to send the woman of his affections flowers - their dynamic was far too complicated for Ethan to send Becca a token of appreciation. 

So he grasped the bottle firmly by the neck and pulled it out of the box with an unsatisfying creak. 

With one blind, emotional action Becca had unknowingly ruined everything they had or could ever be. Ethan Ramsey will never come second to Tobias Carrick. Ethan may have had Becca first, but with her dubious action she made her choice. 

It wasn’t him. 

He carried the bottle back to his desk and sat down.  

“What’re you doing?” Becca questioned from the place she’d been stuck standing in for what felt like eons. Her eyes blinked rapidly as if what she’s been experiencing was just a nightmare and at some point she’ll wake up. 

But this wasn’t an illusion. They both knew that. 

This was how it ended. 

How something that barely even began washed away with the stream of regret.  

“Exactly what Tobias intended,” he half-shrugged. Bending down, pulled out a crystal tumbler from the lower drawer of his desk. “I’m drinking it.”

The nonchalance of his tone scared her. It was late afternoon and Ethan Ramsey was about to have a drink. 

She was about to comment when he spoke first; 

“You’re dismissed.” 

It was definitive. 

He cracked open the bottle and poured a hearty serving, spinning around in his chair to look at the x-rays he’s already seen just so that his back was fully to her. 

Becca wanted to speak, to say something to make things better. 

It was a mistake. 

Back in those days she needed something, anything, to help her get over her all consuming feelings for Ethan and thought Tobias could help - that a random stranger could help numb the pain just a bit longer. 

She wanted to tell Ethan everything - every single thing that led her to the moment of weakness. 

But what was the point in telling him how much his disappearance and constant rejections hurt her? How many times can she tell him she’s fallen in love with him and her heart breaks every time they can’t be together? How she regretted the stranger the moment he had his hand up her skirt. How in the middle of Bloom’s living room her heart stopped beating when Tobias came to light and he learned of her true identity. 

How could she apologize for all of that? 

She was sorry, but sorry wouldn’t change the past. 

It couldn’t change anything. 

________________________________________

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[timextoxhajima]

Grounded: Level 0

Level 1

Member: Minho (Lee Know)

Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader, angst cause is it a dana fic if there is no angst

Taglist: @valeriee-h​

A/N: Thank you for 400 followers. You all have been nothing but exceptional. 

[F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 6]

The metallic taste seeping into your mouth was starting to annoy you, and on top of that, the tears that were running down your cheeks and between your lips were stinging the wounds you managed to inflict on yourself with your teeth.

You can hear the laughter and the sound of the bass against the flooring from where you were, though you were a good distance away from the practicing hall. The room smelled like dust and must due to the hose reel box being unused for such a long time, you wouldn't know. Your hands were probably messed up from all the accidental touching of the walls and the floor -- and great, now you've gone ahead and wiped away your tears with your hands.

Your teeth are gritted so hard against each other that you can feel your temples tightening, and all you want to do was to pack up and go home and call it quits--

"I know you're in there."

Silence. Then a shadow comes to block the bars of light coming through the slits of the door.

Choosing to keep quiet, you don't know why you thought he'd go away. He was the vice-captain of the dance crew and he obviously wasn't going to let you go without getting you out of the hose reel storeroom.

"I'm not going to force you out. But I need to know just one thing."

A pause.

"Do you still like dancing?"

Out of shame, you look down to your knees, now curled up into your chest. The tears continue to fall because you both know your answer. It’s just the physical pain and lack of resistance that’s keeping you from going further.

You can hear him sigh when he leans against the door, the wood creaking just the slightest with his weight against it. It was almost completely dark, now that he’s covered most of the slits in the door. The sweat trailing down the sides of your forehead and down your cheek gets mistaken for tears, urging you to wipe them away with the back of your hand. 

“I know you’re tired, but if you stop here, then there’s no way you can improve.”

You gulp, your throat feeling dry from the continuous days of air-conditioned practice hall and then the crying did nothing but further aggravate it. 

“...What makes you think I can still improve? What if this is the furthest I can go?”

“I thought like that once,” A small thud. He probably leaned his head backwards. “But I signed up for this because I like it. And frankly, I don’t know what else I’d do if I don’t do this for myself. So, now my question is: who are you doing this for, and if you’re willing to continue doing it for yourself?”

Your head is empty. There’s nothing but the want to start moving again, it’s the reflection in the mirror you’re afraid to see. 

The music from the practise hall starts again. By now, the song is more than annoying, but the adrenaline always manages to push you through anyway. The door creaks and more light floods in when he shifts away. 

“Come talk to me if you need to after practise. But for now, just come back and finish for today, okay? I’ll see you inside.”

He stays still for a few moments, before the sound of his shoes shuffle away from the storage room. Leaning your head back against the wall, you let the humidity coat your face like a layer of warmth. 

Why’d he have to give me that stupid pep-talk?

Shutting your eyes tightly, you recall the amount of effort you took to audition for this. A stage where BTS would perform on, and they were looking for a small group of girls in the back-up dancers’ team. The chances were ten to... hundreds. 

You shuffle to your feet, eyelids heavy from the physical activity but heart still full of hope. Your fingers wrap around the cold handle of the door and push it open, greeting the bright lights that illuminate the corridor down to the practice hall.

“Where is-- Oh! There you are!” The choreographer nearly yells into the mic when you rush through the door, some of your other dance crew mates jokingly yells at you for taking your own sweet time. 

“Sorry, bathroom.”

“Okay, okay. GIve us a head up if you’re going to do a number 2 next time, would you?”

Some of the dancers chuckle at the choreographer’s teasing, nudging you or ruffling your hair before they return to their positions. And as you do, you cannot help but to lock eyes with the vice-captain in the front row. He had the tiniest smile you’ve ever seen, the kind that if you didn’t stare hard enough... or if you didn’t pay enough attention... you’d miss it. 

A small nods finds you, eyes of encouragement welling up in his brown orbs under the lighting, and then the choreographer asks for the music. It thrums through you like an Earthquake, but instead of conjuring magma and ash and gas, it sucks the passion out of you and motivates you to move your feet again. 

The practise session ends fast, only because you realised you had been enjoying it. So when the choreographer thanks the dance crew and jumps off to speak to the captain, you take your time to grab a drink for yourself and let some other crew members chat you up. 

That is, until you noticed the vice-captain strutting out of the practise hall quietly. Excusing yourself, you grab your belongings and rush out behind him, just missing the lift that he was in. 

He’s about twenty metres ahead when you run out of the stairs lobby, the cool end-of-winter wind kissing your sweaty skin.

“Minho!” 

The boy stops in his tracks, taking awhile to look up from his phone as he slowly turns his head around. He watches with intent eyes as you catch up to him, gently huffing from the hurrying after he quietly left the practice hall.

“It’s a good thing you didn’t disappoint me,” Minho looks back down at his phone before locking it. “I was beginning to worry you wouldn’t come back.” 

Once you’ve aligned your footing with him, he shoves his phone into his pocket and waits for you to calm your breathing. The sky was dark now, but the streets were still bustling from all the night market activities - fried seafood, crackers, cotton candy. 

Minho turns his head back to the streets where waves of people were walking past, taking a first step to tell you he’s going to start walking. 

“I just wanted to thank you for that little pep-talk.”

“Pep-talk?” Minho chuckles under his breath. “Oh, you don’t know what a pep-talk sounds like.”

The crowd washes the both of you in some direction, the scent of food wafting in the air coupled with the overlapping conversations and loud music from some stands made you feel like you’ve just entered some amusement park. Smoke was prancing in the air against the night sky and people chewing loudly on food brought you some strange sense of nostalgia -- though you’ve walked this exact road for some months now. It just so happened that the night market only came round every Lunar New Year. 

“I just... I hope you know how much that means to me. It’s the first time I’ve done something of this scale so... it seems easier for me to lose faith.”

Minho stops at a particular store selling some honey-glazed apples and orders two. It’s like he didn’t hear you. 

Standing awkwardly next to him, the store owner carelessly hands Minho the two sticks with the stabbed apple on the top, and he doesn’t hesitate to hand her a five dollar bill. Just enough.

“Thank you,” He turns around, the store owner barely acknowledging his business. “People lose faith all the time. You just need to know when to force yourself to have it again.” 

Handing you one stick, Minho doesn’t wait for you to process the offer and his words simultaneously before he’s off again. By the time you’ve walked the length of the night market and reach the main streets of the city, Minho has cleared every drop of honey and apple on the stick, and you were just busy finishing up the last one-eighth of it, the bite nearly touching your fingers. 

At the bus stop, Minho drops himself on the bench, scrolling through his phone as you are occupied with licking the honey off your fingers while you find the nearest trashcan. Ironically, out here along the main road, there were fewer people. More traffic on the road, definitely. But it’s like everybody was so busy living their lives, you’ve forgotten to live yours. 

You’ve spent more than half your time in the last three months coming to this same practise hall, dancing the same steps over and over and over again until every cell in your blood and body knows it by heart. 

But what worth is it? For a performance that you wouldn’t even be seen?

You sigh, eyes darting downwards naturally to see what he’s been staring at on his phone-- then you see it. 

NEW EMAIL: CUBE AUDITION RESULTS

Your eyes widen, lips somehow still stuck together despite the overwhelming excitement in your lungs. Sucking your lips in between your teeth, you watch in anticipation as he clicks the notification and it directs him to his email. Poor boy doesn’t know you’re watching, but it’s a good thing, because the first two sentences were enough to tell you what his reaction could be. 

Dear Lee Minho, we’ve received your audition tape and reviewed it carefully. Unfortunately, we are unable to accept you as a trainee. We wish you the best in all your future endeavors. 

Regards,

Cube Audition Management

Biting down on your bottom lip, your eyes quickly flit away when he closes the app and keeps his phone. Standing next to him, it’s a wonder how he’s managed to hold himself together. If it had been you who was rejected, you’d be on the floor bawling by now. But Minho’s strength is subtly concrete when he only watches his bus arrive, standing up and only turning around to ask, “Are you taking the same bus?”

“Um, yeah but my dad’s coming to get me, so I’m waiting here.”

Minho nods, the bus stopping right at the foot of the bus stop. Other passengers waiting for the bus start to crowd, but Minho doesn’t bust an inch just yet. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

You hum in response. They’ve started boarding, so Minho’s taking small steps towards the vehicle. 

“If you don’t come, believe me when I say I’ll whoop your ass.”

You can’t help the small scoff that bursts through your lips when he says it, that tiny smile of his emerging shyly on his face for a split second. Reducing the amount of time you get to admire that strength in him, he turns and gets on the bus. 

[D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 6]

At this point, half the dance crew was probably crying their hearts out back stage. BTS’ Fire and Not Today performance at the KBS Song Festival was the last official time you would be performing as one unit with this dance crew. Any Fire or Not Today performances in the future would call for a renewed or changed dance crew line-up, which meant you’ll never see the same group of people on stage again. 

Heck, even your captain was sobbing his eyes out, mercilessly pulling everybody he could find into a hug and muttering some incoherent words of gratitude in their ears. You were laughing and wiping away the droplets on your face, unsure if they were tears or sweat, when he came to you and pulled you into a bear hug. 

Everybody hears the heavy backstage door close and BTS shows up just steps from you, and the group of idols know very well that this was the last performance with the current line-up of crew members. 

“Dul, set, Bang! Tan!” More people are crying now, and Namjoon just looks prouder than he was sad. “Annyeong haseyo, Bangtansonyeondan ibnida.”

The captain literally starts wining, not hesitating to go up and hug Hoseok tightly. The members embrace him in the hug, offering him words of praise and compliment as Namjoon urges them to keep their volume down. The leader thanks the crew for the enduring hardwork for the past year - from when the track was first released, to the first choreography reviewing and then the constant performances on all kinds of stages. 

Blinking away your tears, you manage to catch Minho standing at the far end of the first row, and if you weren’t mistaken, you could catch Jimin showing him two thumbs up. 

“I hope to see all of you around, and once again, BTS thanks you for your hardwork for the last year. Take care everybody!” 

Everybody erupts into loud yells of ‘thanks’ and ‘bye’s, but before you can the other crew members in shaking their hands as they return to their dressing room, one of BTS’ assistant managers approach you.

“Hi, can I check if you’re y/n?”

“Uh--” Minho catches your frantic glancing behind the assistant manager. “Yes.”

“Great, so...” The assistant manager fumbles in his back pocket, your eyes darting down to notice him pulling out a name card. Your peripheral vision presents you with Minho looking at you from behind the assistant manager, eyes and ears peeled. “We’ve been monitoring the dance unit and... we think you might have potential.”

He hands you the name card, and your hands are trembling when you process the carbon printing on it.

BIGHIT CASTING

Anxious, you look back up at the assistant manager. Yet, he offers you a mere smile before walking away, leaving you and Minho behind as the rest of the crew pushes themselves nearer to the back of the staff area. 

The restaurant had been booked for the sole purpose of the dance unit celebrating your final performance there, and while the card was being bent in all sorts of different ways in your back pocket, all you cared about was being in a moment.

BigHit casting? Why would you even subject yourself to that kind of torment? A solid 7 to 8 years of no privacy, probably no dating, and if you were caught outside with someone of the opposite gender, you’d be royally screwed over.

“You’re going to get drunk.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re not even legal to drink, and it sucks, honestly.”

“Pfft,” Rolling your eyes, you collect the shot of Soju from one of the older crew members. “I’ll take like five shots. I’ll be fine.”

Minho glares at his captain, thoughtlessly pushing the shot across the smooth surface of the table to you. 

“You know she’s like, 16 right?”

“I know, but it wouldn’t hurt to let her try some. Besides, we all did a great job this past year. I think we all deserve a little break.”

Minho huffs, the air pushing his fringe upwards for a split second. He watches you down the shot, the burning alcohol forcing a look of slight disgust on your face. 

“Told you you wouldn’t like it.”

“Ugh,” Sticking your tongue out, you reach for your glass of water and take a huge gulp. “I’ll get used to it.”

Nah.

“My God, why are you so heavy?” Minho grunts, struggling to keep your arm over his shoulders. He looks behind him, busking in some slight satisfaction when he had managed to get the captain completely wasted by playing some stupid game with him, the kind that he would never win. The other vice-captain and another crew member were channeling all that effort into keeping the big-sized boy on his feet. You remember hearing Minho’s hearty (or evil) laughter when the captain plops to the floor, completely blacking out. 

“Okay, he’s your responsibility now!” He yells at the top of his lungs, dragging you towards the nearest bus stop in his knowledge.

“Go fuck yourself, Minho! Have some mercy next time, would you?!” HIs co-vice captain shouts back.

“I’ll think about it!” Minho laughs, trying really hard not to drop you as he waves back. 

“Bye, see you soon!”

Minho returns his attention to you, half your body already leaning a good ninety degrees towards the floor. 

“Free bows for the floor, huh?” He grunts as he gives up on holding just one of your arms. Afraid that he was going to dislocate something, he pulls you onto his back. Your head is pressed into his shoulder when he turns round the corner, eyes looking up to gauge the distance to the bus stop. “Oi.”

“Hmm?” Your head of messy hair perks up from his shoulder, your eyelids feeling too heavy to keep open. 

“Are you going for it? The audition I mean.”

You groan, throwing your head back into his shoulder. Tightening your arms around his collar, you grit your teeth and swallow the burning sensation of alcohol in your throat. 

“I don’t think I want to think about that now. I have school to worry about.”

“You’ll just be put into SOPA.”

“What about university?”

“That’s like 3 years away for you. And studying can wait if you’re chasing your dream,” A pause as he sets you down at the bus stop, grabbing your bag and searching for your wallet to take out your bus card. “Of course, only if you want it.”

Your head hangs low, the Soju zipping through your blood like hamsters do in their tunnels. Minho turns, spotting the bus nearing.

“Do me a favour and swallow your vomit if you need to, don’t make a mess in the bus.”

[O C T O B E R 2 0 1 7]

Do you know the feeling of your lungs collapsing in on themselves when you can’t breathe? When your heart is palpitating so fast, it feels like it’s stopped? 

“I don’t know why you guys are treating it like it’s a huge thing-- I might not even make it.”

“Shut the fuck up, would you? You signed up for it, shouldn’t you put your 100% and go as far as you can?”

The words can’t find their way out of your mouth. Minho was sitting in his sofa, petting Soon-ie, with a huge duffel bag at his feet. You were sitting in Minho’s living room, with Doongie curled up in your lap and the dance captain from BTS’ Fire and Not Today performance dance unit about to swing a fist in Minho’s face. 

An awkward silence fell upon the three of you, knowing that this could be the start of a friendship with a changed dynamic. You were one foot into BigHit because you’ve passed the first audition, Minho was going on JYP’s Stray Kids survival show and your dance-captain was being scouted into Yuehua’s waters.

The morning sun gushes down onto your faces when Minho’s father rushes to get the car ready, leaving the three of you at the entrance of the carpark. Your dance captain had an audition appointment with Yuehua soon, so he pulls Minho into a tight hug and provides him a harsh pat on the back.

“Make us proud.”

Minho doesn’t respond, only nodding subtly before sending him off. 

But you? You are reluctant to even look at him. If he wins that show, he’d be gone for more days and months than you can count. No longer would he spend his Christmases and New Years with you, but with his group members. His cats wouldn’t be meowing for his attention, because he’s not at home anymore.

What’s worse, if you get through BigHit’s third audition, you’ll be thrown into a girl group. 

And Godforsake a girl group member being seen with a boy group member, right?

“You could be a little more enthusiastic, y’know.”

“How can I be enthusiastic when I’m watching you strut your ass off into unchartered territory?”

Minho smiles, his bunny teeth unafraid to expose themselves. You can see his father’s car coming out, the ache in your heart getting harder and harder to ignore. 

“I’ll come back to find you, or maybe BigHit, I don’t know,” Minho gently pulls you into a hug, careful to keep his hands on your upper back and shoulders. “But I will always come back to you.”

[artificialqueens]

Thrill Me, Chill Me, Fulfill Me, 1/10 (Gottrosenali) - Writworm42

A/N: Hi all!! I saw an infographic a while back of 10 types of orgasms people with vaginas can have, and got inspired to write this! I don't remember where the infographic was from (in my infinite wisdom, I took screenshots of the infographic, but not of the source lmao), but I hope you enjoy this!

PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS AS EDUCATIONAL OR INFORMATIONAL!!!! THIS FIC IS ESSENTIALLY PORN. PORN IS NOT EDUCATIONAL, AND NEITHER IS THIS FIC!!! If you're looking for reliable sex ed info, check out scarleteen, they're a great resource!

Title from Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thank you x10000 Holtz for dealing with my dumb ass while I was writing this and for beta-ing <3

Denali misses Mik when he’s gone; both she and Rosé do. It’s hard not to, when their boyfriend has such a big presence in their lives all the time. Whether he’s starfishing on their bed and hogging all the covers in his sleep, chattering away to fill silence in the apartment, or just making his presence known by ruffling Denali’s hair as he walks by or tracing absent-minded hearts on Rosé’s arm while they’re piled on the couch to watch TV, Mik is a constant, someone who’s always at arm’s reach to enjoy. It’s comforting, something about him that neither Denali nor Rosé would ever want to change.

It’s a strange feeling when he’s away, one that neither of them particularly like. Like something is missing, something they can’t quite feel balanced without. Like the minute he leaves, they’re waiting for him to come back again.

It doesn’t help that Mik has been traveling so much for work lately. Fashion Week season has descended upon the world, and between New York and Paris and Toronto and Milan, Mik has been so busy that he hardly has time to pick up his phone. Add in time zone differences along with Denali and Rosé navigating their own busy schedules, and it might as well be a long distance relationship, one that is barely existent at this point. Denali knows it’s selfish to get upset about it; she still has Rosé, after all, so she can’t imagine how alone Mik must feel. But she can’t help it; the more Mik slips away, the more she wants him back, so bad that it hurts sometimes.

But there’s also a different kind of ache she and Rosé feel when Mik is away, one that may be a little superficial, sure, but is nonetheless one that Denali is particularly bad at leaving unattended. One that once again, she knows must be worse for Mik, seeing as he’s completely alone right now.

At least on the occasions that all three of them are free, it’s a lot easier to scratch that particular itch.

Michelada: guys im so horny

Denali rolls her eyes, shaking her head and laughing a little to herself as she reads her boyfriend’s message. He’s still in the UK right now, and if her math is correct, that means that it’s only around 1 PM where he is. As in, he’s probably still at work. When she says so, though, he seems unperturbed.

Michelada: hasn’t stopped you guys before

Michelada: sooooo

Michelada: sensing a double standard here

Denali hears Rosé cackle from the bathroom, and then her phone pings again.

Rosita: i mean

Rosita: im not opposed to shenanigans, you know that baby ;)

“Don’t encourage him!” Denali calls out, but of course Rosé doesn’t listen; she never does. The next text Denali gets is a picture of Rosé taken in the bathroom mirror, naked as the day she was born with an arm covering her tits.

God.

Michelada: ugh rosie don’t do this to me :((

Rosita: i thought u were horny, baby?

Rosita: gotta make up your mind xo

Another ping, and a second pic of Rosé comes through, this time biting down on one of her fingers through a devilish smirk. Denali shifts a little in her spot on the couch; as much as she doesn’t want to give in, it’s tantalizing, knowing that Rosé is just a word of permission away from being right next to her like that. And the fact that Mik could very well get caught, that they’ll be distracting him enough that he might falter, might give himself away?

Nali: i think it’s time you went on break, angel

She follows it up with a pic of her own, angling it so that both Mik and Rosé will be able to see right down her shirt. She hears a little gasp from the bathroom, and smiles to herself; Rosé is so easy, it’s almost funny. Both she and Mik are.

There’s a pause, and Denali almost wonders if Mik has been caught already, or if he’s changed his mind. She’s about to ask, but then the bathroom door opens, and she looks up to see Rosé coming towards her.

“Rosie…” she starts, but she doesn’t have time to get her full sentence out before there’s another ping.

Michelada: i have fifteen minutes

“Just enough time,” Rosé grins as she comes up behind Denali, drapes her arms over her shoulders and leans in to kiss the shell of her ear and letting out a little laugh when the sensation makes Denali squirm.

A call comes through not even a second later, and they’re greeted by the sight of Mik shut in a bathroom, cheeks already pink and pupils already dilated with lust.

“That was quick,” Denali smirks, but Mik doesn’t respond. One look behind herself, though, and Denali knows why.

“He’s only got fifteen minutes, D,” Rosé winks, clearly enjoying herself as she continues to play with her own tits, trailing her hands over them and palming them while grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Gotta maximize on that time, right?”

Well. She does have a point. And it’s not just Mik who’s mesmerized by the sight in front of him; watching Rosé continue to tease, still grinning cockily, is absolutely tantalizing, and Denali can’t help the sudden urge to touch her girlfriend that runs through her, making her shiver.

“Wanna touch, angel?” Rosé coos, taking her hands off herself long enough to grab Denali’s face, tilt her head up to look her in the eyes. “It’s okay--all you gotta do is say please.”

She swallows hard, mouth going dry as she nods, eyes trailing back down to Rosé’s bare tits. “Yeah. Yeah, I wanna… Please, Rosie, please can I touch you?”

“Of course you can.” Rosé purrs, coming around the couch slowly, teasingly, before coming right up to Denali, giving her a soft kiss as she throws a leg over Denali’s lap, easing down to straddle her.

“Hi, baby.”

There’s a whine behind them, one that jerks them out of the bubble Rosé has created, and Denali suddenly remembers Mik’s presence over the phone, that he’s watching everything going on.

“I think our sweet boy feels left out, Rosie.”

The remark is as much a taunt as it is a reminder, and Denali can’t help but peek over her shoulder to see how Mik is holding up. Sure enough, he’s already starting to come undone, cheeks flushed pink and mouth gaping open as he takes in what’s happening before him. His camera obscures what’s going on below his chest, but Denali knows Mik well enough to know from his stiff posture that he’s just waiting for permission to let go completely.

“Is that so?” Rosé turns to look over her shoulder, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “Poor baby, can’t even be close to us while we have fun. I hope you’re not touching yourself just yet, angel—it’d be a shame to get this over with too quickly, don’t you think?”

Mik swallows hard, but shakes his head, sucking in a sharp breath that’s just audible enough to go straight to Denali’s core.

“No, mommy, I’m not.”

“Good boy,” Rosé purrs before turning back to the blonde she’s currently straddling, looking her up and down discerningly.

Not even a heartbeat later, she starts easing off Denali’s lap, clicking her tongue when Denali squirms at the loss, lifts her hands to try and stop Rosé from moving.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” she grabs Denali’s hands, gently places them back onto her lap. “I’m just moving so Mik can get a better view. See?” She sits gently next to Denali, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her close. “Now, what d’you say we get you out of this pesky shirt, huh?”

Denali only nods, rushing to throw off her shirt as Rosé creeps her hands between Denali’s legs, lightly teasing her through her pajama pants.

“I’d suggest you start rubbing over your pants, baby boy.” Rosé throws the command back to Mik without even looking at him, too focused instead on increasing the pressure she’s placing on Denali’s pussy while bringing a free hand to her tits. Denali hisses in pleasure when Rosé’s fingers trace around a nipple, pinching lightly and watching with glee at how Denali’s hips buck at the feeling. Mik’s dissatisfied whines only spur Rosé on, though, and she ups the ante by leaning down to give Denali’s other nipple the attention of her tongue, sucking and nipping at the hardened bud.

“Rosie…” Denali gasps, only for the redhead to separate herself from Denali’s tit, coming up to lock eyes with her as she shakes her head.

“Look at Mik, sweetheart,” Rosé murmurs, her hands still moving, still working Denali up. “Look at what a mess he is watching you.”

Mik’s face is screwed up in frustration, pouting mouth trembling as his arm moves lightly, teasing at what’s going on out of the frame.

“What do you think, D, should we take pity on him?”

“Yes,” Denali answers without hesitation, closing her eyes in pleasure when her generosity is rewarded by Rosé finally slipping her hand below the waistband of Denali’s pajama pants, dragging light fingers along the blonde’s already-slick slit.

“You heard her, baby. You can touch yourself over your underwear now.”

“Thank you, mommy,” he gasps in relief, followed by a shaky breath when he dips his hand into his jeans.

“Don’t thank me, thank Denali,” Rosé simply shrugs. “Speaking of,” she turns her attention back to the blonde next to her, “How ‘bout we take things up a notch, huh?”

Denali doesn’t have time to ask what Rosé means before the older woman’s fingertips are making contact with her clit, tracing fast, yet light circles around it.

“Oh, fuck--”

“God, you have no idea how much this turns me on,” Rosé’s voice takes Denali’s breath away, low and husky in her ear as she continues to rub Denali’s clit. “Watching you and Mik like this, already such messes for me… fuck, makes me wet just listening to you whimper.”

“Why don’t you join us, then?” The idea clicks into Denali’s head instantly, and she has to admit, she loves the way Rosé’s eyes cloud over in confusion for a second, the redhead hesitating for a moment as she tries to figure out what Denali means. It’s the perfect opportunity for Denali to reclaim some power, grab Rosé’s hands and push her back to flip their positions so that Denali is straddling her.

“Mik, baby, you can play with yourself for real now,” she turns back to the camera and winks before wriggling out of her pajama pants, grabbing Rosé’s wrists and pinning them to her sides before closing the distance between them with a rough kiss. Behind them, Denali hears something close to a thank you from Mik, cut off by a strangled mewl that tells her he’s already close.

That’s okay; this shouldn’t take long.

Denali’s hips move naturally as they rut up against Rosé, their kiss deepening steadily as the two move in tandem against each other. Rosé traces her hands down over Denali’s back, down to her ass, and smirks against Denali’s tongue when the blonde moans at the touch. For her part, Denali isn’t exactly being gentle, either; while Rosé uses her grip on Denali’s ass to push her closer, force her to grind down harder, Denali snakes a hand into Rosé’s hair, tugging at the strands just to make her gasp.

“Love it when you make those sounds for me,” she breaks their kiss to suck a bruise onto the curve of Rosé’s neck, almost moaning herself from the way Rosé’s hips stutter at the taunt.

Behind her, Denali hears Mik curse from the phone, and she’s unable to resist looking back as she and Rosé continue to move against each other, their pace staying steady as Denali watches the sight on the other line.

Mik is a vision, one arm slightly out to capture the sight of his body as he gets himself off. A sheen of sweat covers his forehead, and his lip is swollen from the way he’s biting it, desperately trying not to make too much noise. His hand works patterns on himself that Denali knows well, ones she taught him, ones she experimented and trialled and perfected on his skin. Watching him now, Denali can’t help but speed up a little, a cue that both Rosé and Mik seem to take as they match her pace.

“ Fuck ,” Rosé hisses after Denali turns her attention towards her again, knowing that if she watches Mik any longer, she’s going to come right then and there; she doesn’t want that. She wants to come with Rosé and Mik both, all together.

Luckily, she knows exactly how to speed things up.

“What?” she coos, tracing a finger along Rosé’s cheek, trailing it along her jaw. “Are you close, Rosie? Gonna come for me and Mik already? Aww .”

Rosé nods, whimpering as Denali’s touch continues to travel over her body, down the line of her neck and then tracing along her collarbone.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Denali continues between gasping breaths, channeling every bit of focus she has to keep the ability to speak while keeping up with the rhythm of Rosé’s hips, now becoming erratic from desperation. “Always acting all big and bad, like you’ve got control, but you just need to be put in your place, don’t you?”

The moan Rosé lets out is positively sinful, and when Denali looks back at Mik, his face is so red, his hand moving so fast that Denali knows he’s about to explode.

Time to finish things off, then.

“I’m gonna count to ten, then you’ll get to come, okay?” Denali says it loud enough for Mik to hear, but she doesn’t wait for a response; she doesn’t have the patience to.

“One… two…”

When ‘ten’ finally leaves her lips, Denali lets go, crying out loud enough that she’s afraid someone in Mik’s studio might hear what’s going on through the bathroom door. But she can’t help it; Rosé continues to grind against Denali through both their orgasms, and by the time Denali comes down fully, she’s too tired to do anything but collapse next to the other woman, completely spent.

“Fuck, you guys,” Mik’s breathy drawl jerks them both back to reality, and Denali can’t help but smile when she sees what a state their boyfriend is in; his clothes are mussed and cheeks are flushed, and there’s a dot of blood on his mouth from where he must have bitten through his lip trying to keep himself quiet.

“All better now?” she teases, laughing when he rolls his eyes, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“I mean, I probably look like a mess, but yeah, I’m not horny anymore.”

“Give it five minutes,” Rosé mutters to Denali with a wry smile.

“Hey, I heard that!”

“Go and get cleaned up, babe.” Denali swats at Rosé as she addresses Mik, who’s busy pouting at them. “Call us when you’re done work, and have a good day, yeah?”

“Alright, bye gorge.” Mik sighs, and then just like that, the call is over, and Mik is gone again.

At least, mostly; not two seconds later, there’s another ping, and Denali checks her phone to see another message from Mik. More specifically, a picture of him in the mirror, still a mess, smiling and blowing them a kiss.

Michelada: gonna be thinking about u guys for the rest of the day

Michelada: love u sm <3

It’s not the same as having him next to her, not in the least. But as Denali stares at the picture, feels Rosé shuffle closer to look at it, too, it feels like enough.

[airi-p4]

While it lasts

This was supposed to be kind of a S4 theory about akumatized Luka + a canon-verse Lukanette approach. I guess my hand slipped?  This is similar to my previous fic ‘Betrayer’, in which Juleka was the akumatized one. 

Warning: ANGST.

AO3 _________________________

"Jagged Stone is your father" Anarka had just told her twin children.

Luka's world was shattered into pieces.

Jagged Stone. His favorite musician. His inspiration. His mother's old music partner.

Their father.

One word occupies his mind: abandoned.

And the image of him takes a 180 degree turn. From admiration to despise.

His idol abandoned him. Him and his sister. His mother too.

Why?

He hates it. He hates all of it.

He hates it so much, not even his girlfriend Marinette can calm him down like she usually does. Not even her sympathetic voice or her sweet heart melody can heal him. Neither could her hand pressed on his in comfort.

Juleka's mind had gone blank for some seconds. Memories of how fond Luka was of Jagged Stone occupying her mind. 'Cool', she thinks, and then she focuses on her brother, who is clearly in shock.

In silence. In a trance.

He can't hear anything anymore, she realizes, after noticing how he isn't paying attention to either Marinette's, her mother's or her own calls.

His heart song is strident, loud, noisy- And his eyes lose all his light, all his kindness too.

'Abandoned'

This word keeps spiraling in his mind. On repeat. In an infinite loop.

"Luka!" He hears Marinette's voice call him in alert, finally making him snap out of it and find the strength to fight the akuma that just entered his guitar.

“Marinette… Don’t abandon me…” he begs, holding her while fighting not to lose control and fall under Shadow Moth's control.

“I won’t”, she assures him, clearly supporting him. She keeps encouraging him not to fall into the darkness of the dark butterfly.

Her melody is sincere. So sincere she can’t hide her still unburied feelings for certain blond hair and green eyes that make her heart flutter. And he can see it: the moment that is bound to happen, the moment Marinette will break up with him to go to Adrien. The moment all walls separating them will collapse and they will meet each other in the tangled maze of secrets they’re currently trapped in. The crumble of the castle that allowed him the miracle to have her by his side at this moment.

“You won’t” he whispers, feeling his biggest fear close: Silence- loneliness.

Abandoned.

His arms tighten around her, holding her even closer, impeding her from moving. He pulls her so close he's even hurting her a little. Marinette slightly protests in a cry, but she’s more emotionally affected than physically. "Luka-!"

She's scared.

She wants to assure him she’s honest. She wishes to be able to give him all her love, her existence-

And his newly appeared akuma form is willing to take it all.

His guitar is now a big fish net, his body has grown 3 times bigger and his looks are similar to a sea God. ‘Glaucus’, he calls himself. The name of the God of the fishermen in Greek mythology. His hair is longer, and his belly has become a transparent fish tank, where he plans to keep his loved ones, both safe and close so they don’t abandon him.

Punishment for the ones who abandon, lie and betray.

Protection for the loved ones.

'Justice', he calls it.

He doesn’t even need a big fish tank, because his loved ones are limited. A countable number of individuals is enough for him: Marinette, his mother, his twin sister, the rest of Kitty Section… Mylène too, maybe, since he would feel bad for Ivan if he left her out of it. And he would consider Marinette's family too, since he knows how much she appreciates them.

As for punishment? It's also clear: Jagged Stone comes first, followed by Lila Rossi among others who have dared to hurt his loved ones, such as Chloe Bourgeois and Bob Roth.

Marinette trembles at the vision after he finally lets her go of her to grab his fish catching instrument. A tear escapes her eye, and slides to fall from her chin. And then she runs: because that’s the only way she can help him: run, transform, defeat him and fix the damage she will fight to prevent from happening.

But she's ignoring the most important fact. The fact that that's exactly the action which will lead to her down fall, the sight that frightens Luka the most: Marinette turning her back to him, leaving him all alone.

His song abandoning him.

Rage, pain and despair fills his heart, unable to be contained with his meditation or her music. The music he himself turned into a loud mess, sounding just like nails scraping on a chalkboard, painful to his ears and his soul.

And that’s when he traps her, his net capturing her and turning her into a small, bright pink colored mermaid, he literally swallows to get her inside the fish tank he carries inside his transparent glass made belly.

A relieved sigh leaving his throat: Marinette is now secured. She won't leave his side again. ‘Who’s next…?’ He questions himself, looking at his horrified mother, Anarka as he smirks. He'll soon have all of them in his treasured fish tank.

And what will happen to those who deserve punishment? Fish out of the water- dry fins gasping for oxygen. Dead fish with eyes as cold as their hearts. Or even better- Jagged is going to be abandoned on his own before that- just like he cold-heartedly abandoned him and his sister.

And now that he mentions it… 'Where's Juleka?'

The akuma looks for her, but he doesn't see her around. 'She can wait' he decides, his chants summoning a big sea wave to carry him to his unwanted father's hotel suite.

__________

Jagged Stone can't believe his eyes. An akuma claiming to be his son has just turned Penny into a goldfish, who is now struggling with tiny desperate jumps for oxygen to breathe through her newly acquired fins. Impossible without water. Fang is next to join Jagged's personal assistant, now tiny and convulsing.

"Who are you!? Why are you doing this!? I have no kids!! Don't lie!! Stop this! Turn them to their original forms! They could die!" The rock star angrily begs under Glaucus lashes.

"You're the one who is lying! My mother never lies, so you are the one lying when you say you have no children! You're the one who abandoned us!" He yells as angry as Jagged. "All the admiration and respect I had for you is now hate and disgust! You deserve punishment for the sake of Justice!"

"Stop right there, mermaid boy. Didn't we already make it clear what the difference between revenge and justice was when you were 'Silencer'?" Chat Noir joined the battle, protecting Jagged from being crushed under the akuma's weapon.

The akuma attacks again, but this time he's stopped by someone else. Someone Chat Noir brought along with him- a new superhero.

_______

During the time Marinette was trapped, Tikki, safe and sound, had carried a Miraculous to Juleka, who was watching terrified at how the events developed on TV. She was too focused to notice the kwami, but she clearly noticed the box that fell on her hand out of nowhere. Reaching it, she curiously opened it, and a magical creature appeared in front of her.

"Hi there! I'm Roarr. It's nice to meet you, Juleka!" The little tiger introduced himself.

"What are you? What's going on?" Juleka questioned.

"I'm a kwami. I grant powers! Put on that jewelry and call for the magical words to transform into a superhero"

"Me? A superhero like Ladybug? I don't think I can-" she nervously mumbled, unconfident.

"The guardian chose you for this mission! You want to save your brother, right?" Juleka nodded. "Then say the words: Roarr, transform me"

"Roarr, transform me" Juleka said, and magic surrounded her. Her new appearance was purple with tiger-like orange colored stripes over her body. Her mask was the same colors of the suit, and a pair of tiny ears decorated her now tied hair, her ponytail loose in the wind.

Moments later, she ran towards the hotel, unknowingly followed by Ladybug's kwami.

And the battle started.

________________

"Luka! I know you're hurt, but Jagged is telling the truth! He never abandoned u- you! He never knew he was a father! He probably doesn't even know by now!" The new hero desperately yelled.

"Lies! All lies! He deserves punishment! And you do too!" The akuma points at the heroes and Jagged who is hiding behind them.

"I'll show you the truth!" The tigress announces, calling for her superpower.

Her claws become shiny and with one touch, she marks an ‘X’ on Jagged's forehead, and a purple cloud comes out of his mouth and surrounds them, as if they had just entered his dreamland- except it's, in fact, the rock star’s memories.

Luka is in denial. It is true. Jagged Stone never knew about them. Which means he abandoned them unknowingly. Was he innocent, though?

No, he wasn’t. Because he had indeed abandoned his mother.

_______

Meanwhile, Marinette had been trying to find a way out of the fish tank. She couldn't transform into Ladybug even if Tikki was free, because that would make her identity public. She needed another plan.

That's when she asked Tikki to get Juleka the tiger Miraculous- and it had, once again, been the right choice.

Marinette couldn't just stay still,watching. She fought to find a way out.

Making use of the constant moving water, and with Anarka and Kitty Section's help, she found a way up, arriving to his heart. Or was it the akuma’s heart? It didn’t matter to her as long as she could save him.

The sight was not what she had expected: a vast sea surrounded by colorful stained glass with the people he cared the most portrayed on them. Anarka, Juleka and Kitty Section were there. Big, colorful and shining bright.

Marinette continued swimming in his inner tormented sea of darkness until she found another glass under a cliff: hers. It looked beautiful, but unreachable, since a rose garden guarded and protected it. Untouchable beauty.

Was this Luka's vision of her? A beautiful flower surrounded by thorns, with green stains on paint messing with the almost perfect piece of art’s balance and making it painful to watch?

Marientte felt her heart ache in guilt.

She knew she was the cause of the hurt in his eyes which he sometimes looked at her with. He had always seen through her, despite how much she had been starting to believe her own lies about ‘moving on’ and ‘love’.

Marinette shook her head: no time to waste. Cry later. Focus now.

Her tail brought her to a cliff island with a broken stained glass window next to it. The one that belonged to Jagged Stone, as his name was written on a rock. It most likely broke at the revelation of Jagged being Luka’s father, but now the window was pitch black, with the pieces scattered on the floor. Silent.

She could feel his fears of being abandoned in her own skin, and froze at the realization: his endurance and his strength were only there thanks to music. A music his heart lacked at the moment.

Music.

That's the answer. Music was what healed his heart. This time too, he needed music.

But what could she do without musical knowledge? Or without any instrument to play?

'My voice' she notices. ‘I still have my voice’

Marinette starts singing her own heart song as composed by Luka, while the battle outside continues, now with their visit to Jagged Stone's memories.

Perfect timing.

And clouds appear over Jagged's glass window, the wind carrying some pieces back to its original place- partly reconstructed.

Maybe the mermaid form had another purpose, Marinette wonders. Maybe Luka couldn't completely let go of music, after all, whether he was akumatized or not. Or maybe...

Back to present, Marinette sees a light up that lifts her out of Luka's insides. Next time she blinks, she has recovered her original appearance- clumsy human girl Marinette.

"Run!" Chat Noir commands, and she obeys. As she runs, she gazes back at Luka, who shows her a painfully sad smile.

"Marinette!" Her kwami calls her before she can give it deeper thought. "Tikki! Spots on!"

Moments later, Ladybug makes it to the battle. "Lucky charm!"

____________

The battle ends soon. Too soon, to Ladybug's surprise. ‘Why did he offer no resistance?’

She'll have time to think about this later. First… "Miraculous Ladybug!" Ladybug rushed to recover Juleka's Miraculous so they could go back to Luka as soon as possible.

"Thank you, Ladybug" Juleka says, running off to hug her brother.

Marinette detransforms next and soon reaches them too. But she hesitates again. Should she be by his side when she hurts him so much?

Luka meets her gaze and smiles softly, apologetically and embarrassed, but clearly welcoming her. And she doesn't hesitate anymore to join their collective hug, melting in love after a swirl of emotions. They part from the hug and they all focus on Jagged Stone who is still processing what happened.

"Wait a second- Are you really my children…? You thought I abandoned you…?” Jagged asks the twins, before turning his head to Anarka. “Why didn't you tell me? Weren't we partners? 'Rock-'n'-roll until the crocodile controls'. Remember?"

"You said you wanted to go solo. You left me behind. Did you really expect me to go back to you after the humiliation I suffered? I gave you my heart and you threw me away as soon as you could!" Anarka yelled.

"I was young and immature, and not the best father figure, I admit it! But I deserved to know! You should have told me!"

"I'm telling you now! They are your children, Luka and Juleka. If you ever want to meet them, you know where we live. Don’t you ever come back if you plan to abandon them later" Anarka says, grabbing her children's shoulders and guiding them to move out of the hotel room with a push.

"I'm sorry…" Luka mumbles to Jagged, before leaving the room.

"I'm the one who is sorry…" Jagged admits to Marinette before she runs to follow the Couffaines and Kitty Section. “I’ll go visit sometime! I promise!”

“Are you ok, Luka?” Marinette asks after leaving through the hotel doors, seeing how Jagged is looking at them from the highest balcony.

“I will be. Eventually…” he returns his gaze down to focus on Marinette, reaching to hold her hand. “I don’t need Jagged’s music as long as I can listen to yours''

Marinette feels her cheeks burn.

________________________

On their way home, Marinette can’t take what she’s seen out of her head. ‘It was Luka's heart, right? And Luka’s true feelings. He truly loves me’, she realized. ‘But why…?’

With an instant of bravery, Marinette pulls Luka's hand to separate themselves from the rest of his family and friends.

"Luka… I- Am I painful to be with? To watch?" She bites her lip a bit and asks in terror. “Am I hurting you?”

"Of course not, Marinette. Never.” Luka assures her with a soft, faint smile. “You're more than I could ever ask for. You're the most beautiful song I've ever heard"

"Even if I have those unbearable to watch green stains...?" she whispers, embarrassed and angry at herself for not being able to make her feelings go according to her wishes.

"It can’t be helped, can it? And even if that’s the case, for me, you’re still the most beautiful despite those colors"

“Is my heart song really enough to cover for that ugliness? I hate it myself…”

“You shouldn’t. Imperfections can enhance beauty. I don’t mind them as long as I can hear your song up close” he answers.

“But-! Are you sure…? Aren’t you afraid I might end up abandoning you?” she finally asks, scared for his answer.

“I am. I’m terrified” he admits. “But how am I supposed to stand in the way of your wishes- your happiness? I can’t and I won’t do that” Luka shrugs, “Aren’t you scared of being abandoned too?”

“I am” she answers, after giving it some thought. “and that’s not the main reason for it, but I want to stay by your side” she realizes, “more than ever”.

Luka squeezes her hand and shows her a soft expression. “Thank you for always saving me. Akumatized or not,” he whispers to her ear. It surprises Marinette to see how his cheeks are pink over his fond smile.

“No-! I- I just sang a song and- It was all thanks to the new her-” she stopped herself. Luka couldn’t possibly remember what happened when he was akumatized. No one told him, no one showed him the news. He couldn’t know he turned her into a mermaid, or how she sang. Yet he thanked her for saving him.

‘Of course he knows’ Marinette understands. ‘Yet he didn’t reveal me to Shadow Moth and he let me go on purpose, too’. Her thoughts deepen. ‘I get it now’ she reaches her conclusion. ‘He wanted me to save him. He wanted me to take him back after he realized he was on the wrong side. It makes sense. He protected me despite being akumatized once again- like when he was Silencer’.

The girl’s feet stop walking for a moment at the revelation, causing Luka to look back at her. Taking one step closer, she raises on her tiptoes and gives Luka a kiss on his lips, surprising both of them.

‘I wonder what kind of music his heart is hearing now,’ she wonders, ‘because I can only hear a grateful and sincere happy tune in my own heart right now’

“Your heartsong is beautiful” she finishes with a smile he reciprocates.

Most likely, both of them knew deep inside that their relationship as it was now was bound to end at some point, sooner or later. Maybe both of them would always be afraid of loneliness and being abandoned, too. But wasn’t it enough to enjoy the music they created in that instant, while it lasts? Isn’t it the same with live concerts? They might end, but the sensations last forever in memories. Is it something to regret? Neither of them felt it was. And perhaps both of them secretly agreed with that logic as they continued walking hand in hand, enjoying each other's company and welcoming their mutual love and support, in whatever form their relationship changes into in the future.

[autisticlenaluthor]

howdy greetings buenas noches bonsoir rory your majesty you are a terrible enabler

okay firstly!! i have no idea what i’m answering to and it’s most likely more than one of your answers but yeah okay let’s goo

1- i have honestly just been reading through all of your fics and do plan on bringing them up whenever they haunt (affectionate) my mind

2- OKAY SO if u google foster the meaning that will appear is 1. encourage or promote the development of (something, typically something regarded as good); and 2. bring up (a child that is not one's own by birth). so i was wondering if that was intentional when it came to choosing casey’s name

3- on that note, casey’s first name has irish origins (which i thought was entirely too cool!!) and it means vigilant or watchful, which also fits perfectly and made me wonder if that was planned as well ��� and if it wasn’t, i thought you’d like to know LMFAO

4- i have no idea actually i should really go to bed OH WAIT do u plan on casually inserting lena’s stutter in your aus from now on bc i thought that might be kinda cool

5- just thought we should take a moment and appreciate how much education on neurodivergence you’ve been spreading with your fics (i know there’s SO MUCH MORE to learn but i think it’s a nice way for people who don’t have knowledge of the subject to maybe learn a bit and hopefully try and educate themselves yk, like it raises interest is my point, and you explain very well :)

OKAY NOW I AM GOING TO SLEEP AU REVOIR

i feel like all of my answers are going to be very dissapointing and im sorry for that lmao but

1. please do i would honestly love that and it makes me so happy you're reading through them all. and also kinda terrified bc there is stuff on there from when i was like 15 that i chose to believe nobody is percieving anymore

2. i really can't remember how i chose caseys last name but i've known the meaning for a while so i'd like to think that maybe subconciously that played into it

3. i had no idea casey had irish origins but i think that's so cool!! the defenition really is perfect and i would love to be able to say that that's the reason i chose it lmao. really i just wanted something that sounded sweet and comforting. i asked a bunch of friends for name ideas and i think 'susie' or 'sally' was also in the running. my bestie@apple-knees was the one who picked out casey's name

4. i really want to show lena's stutter in more fics it's a headcannon that i love !! i wouldn't be able to incorporate it into the cancer au or any of my existing fics that i'm kinda far into but i'm planning on making it a thing in oneshots and future fics !

5. and thank youuu that makes me rlly happy to hear😭 ive never thought about my fics actually reaching people like that or teaching them about different neurodivergencies but i think it would be amazing if readers were learning stuff from them. all of my autistic lena aus i write for other autistic people but i love that there might be non autistic ppl out there learning about autism or whatever from them

[simpbur]

hello! i would like ur 40 song wiblur playlist

anon thank you so much for asking <333 while it would’ve been easier to just drop the link i have so many thoughts about everything so i explained why every single song has its spot on this list which was IMMENSELY fun for me

(also: if anyone does want the link i can provide both apple music and spotify but if u would like the apple music link i’d rather it be through dms or an ask off anon that i can make private!)

another also: i bolded all the songs for ease of perusing if you don’t want the director’s commentary and bolded + italicized the ones that i think fit Very Well

another another also: wrote the second bit of this on my laptop and the keyboard is p funky so if there are any typos or things that do not make sense i will try to fix them asap haha

saint bernard by lincoln: this is one of those like. Dream SMP Songs that i added because it fits into so many different relationships and plot lines and arcs but i think there’s some connection to c!wlbur somewhere out there. idk i asked my friend and he said to add it so this one goes out to him

amnesia was her name by lemon demon: ghostbur song ghostbur song! mostly comes from this lovely animatic

o valencia! by the decemberists: okay this is one of those songs that only really has one lyric that fits but is an absolutely banger so it’s here anyway. you’ll also notice a trend of quasi love songs that i relate to c!wilbur’s perception of l’manburg and i think this song shows this in a really cool way, esp with the chorus (‘and i swear to the stars i’ll burn this whole city down’ is The Line)

achilles come down by gang of youths: another one of those Dream SMP Songs. i think this fits better with c!tommy but i like it too much to remove it. this is a somewhat common trend with the earlier songs on this playlist (i’ve been building this thing since january, for reference)

brave as a noun by ajj: another Dream SMP Song. i think certain verses fit better than others when it comes to wilbur’s character but that ones that work really work

harness your hopes by pavement: a song that is one here for vibes alone. i have no idea what these lyrics mean. all i know is that i heard it, thought of c!wilbur, and put it on the playlist. thank you all for being here

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn: sad-ist made this a tommy and tubbo song (as she should) so it’s validity on this playlist is questionable but folks used to compare it to wilbur and tommy’s relationship during the pogtopia arc and i think some points were made there

the execution of all things by rilo kiley: i’m so excited to get here because this was the first song i put on the playlist that i think really works and i thumb nailed an animatic for the last verse and november 16th so! i think it’s a good l’manburg song and the last verse has some good ghostbur lines (‘and lately you’re all alone with nothing left but sleep/but sleep never comes to you, it’s the guilt and forever wakefulness of the weak’)

i’m just your problem from adventure time: this ones a bit tricky since at is my favorite show of all time and i cannot detach this song from its in-show context very well but there is a very cool animatic with this song that landed it a spot on the playlist

man burning by josh ritter: almost became an animatic but the audio i wanted to use (which i recorded at a josh ritter concert and it’s just him and his guitar and there’s echo and it’s very haunting and pretty) has my stepbrother singing in the background and i could not edit it out so. that will probably not happen. but anyways the only hole i would pick in this song is that it’s mostly about self sabotage which isn’t really applicable but i think the imagery is cool

mamma mia by abba: here me out. here me out. this is another song that fits so well and i have spent so many hours thinking about this and somewhere there is a note on my phone explaining how every single line relates to c!wilbur’s entire arc from founding l’manburg to the resurrection (made when we thought gbur was going to get resurrected in january) and just. the metaphorical ‘you’ is l’manburg does this make any sense (another almost animatic except now that wilbur’s actually back it might become an actual animatic)

the other side of paradise by glass animals: no idea why this is here other than being a Dream SMP Song. it’s good tho

infinitesimal by mother mother: they saaaaay it stared with a big bang but they saaaaaaaay it came out of a small thing latelyyyyy i’ve been feeling like a big bang You Know

curses by the crane wives: had a thing drawn out for this song showing the comparisons between c!wilbur and c!niki because of the chorus and i think the last two lyrics of said chorus are the best thing about this one

lonely eyes by the front bottoms: gotta admit that i have no idea how this song got on here but i’ve come to associate it with ghostbur based on vibes alone. it’s a friendly song he’s a friendly ghost it works. the other tfb song coming up fits a bit better methinks

king of new orleans by better than ezra: not to put better than ezra on my c!wilbur playlist but like. something about the whole ‘tasing something up to let it fall’ motif makes me think

get me away from here, i’m dying by belle and sebastian: another almost animatic song (there’s a trend here). not only does the story told in this song work i like the lines ‘play me a song to set me free/nobody writes them like they used to so it may as well be me’ in relation to my l’manburg

montgomery forever by the front bottoms: certain bits and pieces of this song fit so well, specifically the chorus and those bits in the last two choruses Yeah (’montgomery forever and ever and ever and now they’re blowing it up/(x2)/as you started laughing and crying and trying to explain how all you want to do is leave’)

don’t look back in anger by oasis: out of all my almost animatic songs, this one got the furthest. the animatic, which I got pretty far in thumbnailing, was about wilbur and tommy and kind of drawing comparisons between their characters, also about the revolution in general. maybe i’ll finish that animatic one day idk 

snow by ricky montgomery: i wish i had a link for this so bad but!! saw art on twitter!! with the lyric ‘bury me six feet in snow’!! and went ahfsdjfk!!

burning pile by mother mother: a Dream SMP Song. also a jam there’s no real specific connection for this one but i think it could fit in a couple of ways

rounds by the oh hellos: in the same position as snow except it was on tumblr..... @ whoever made this comic i saw these lyrics in your brain is massive and your art is incredible

lovely by mt. eddy: on here for vibes alone. there’s something in the lyrical content too, but my thoughts in that regard are not very fleshed out

adventures in solitude by the new pornographers: ah yes..... the song that prompted this all...... this is a beautiful and incredibly well written song and if you’re going to listen to any song off of this playlist i’d encourage you to listen to this one. it’s place of here is mostly cause of the chorus but the imagery in the verses could all represent a part of c!wilbur and i’d love to explore that more

caught in the middle by paramore: obligatory paramore song. i think it got on here because limbo = ‘middle’ but i’m not quite sure. on the verge of being deleted if i can find a better pmore song

delicate by damien rice: one of the oddest songs on this list and i am well aware that it sticks out like a sore thumb. a song that’s on here pretty much because of one lyric, which is ‘and why’d you sing hallelujah/if it means nothing to you’ which i related to both eret’s betrayal and how my l’manburg is hallelujah yknow

bang! by ajr: almost animatic song. i think we all know what the bang is here

somewhere only we know by lily allen: ik i said don’t look back in anger has the most potential to get made into an animatic but this song might actually take it place. on par with adventures in solitude in terms of how pretty of a song it is, and probably even moreso. it’s kind of turned into a ghostbur song in my head, and makes me cry like an infant child every time i hear it

a pearl by mitski: i cannot defend this song’s place on here past the line ‘it’s just that i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended’

eight by sleeping at last: the official c!wilbur song needs a spot on here <3 if i can dig up the clip of cc!wilbur talking about this song in relation to his character i’ll add it but until then yeah <3

always by rilo kiley: no idea why this is on here but it fits well!! could not tell you why!! banger!!

celebration guns by stars: it’s a hauntingly beautiful song about war, and kind of one of those that necessarily isn’t about wilbur but moreso his place in the story? idk how to explain it but yes

passerine by the oh hellos: it’s. it’s from the . the fic. yeah h

oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet and hold the earth in place by bright eyes: added this after the real resurrection and i think it’s because fo the imagery? also the last verse

we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos!: all i have to say is ‘i cannot emphasize enough that my body/is a badly designed, poorly put together vessel/harboring these diminishing, so called vital organs/i hope my heart goes first, i hope my heart goes first!’ has always made me think of pogtopia era wilbur :(

dead weight by jack stauber: no real connection other than eret played this song during a break during the ghostbur’s january ‘resurrection’ and i heard it and went :0

point me at lost lands by tired pony: gives me season on l’manburg vibes..... i love how free and passionate it sounds and that's p much the only reason it’s on this list haha

ghosting by mother mother: added this five seconds ago because i could not BELIEVE it was not on here. ghostbur song. mans sang it on that one stream with the reverb and everything. the lyrics ‘i will be kind and i’ll be sweet/if you stop staring straight through me’ hit particularly hard back when everyone thought that ghostbur was actually wilbur in disguise 

[shorkbrian]

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!!  A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me. 

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you. 

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like 

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like 

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

[meteor-sword]

i remember in the tags of a post was something about a mako recovery fic... care to elaborate vae??? (if u want ofc) bc im very curious now and i think it would be great coming from you. im also of the opinion that they could’ve done so much more with mako’s recovery but tbh thats just a constant in tlok’s writing

dsfljsldfj ok first of all.... you are so sweet thank you for overestimating me 

second of all i am always surprised to hear people read what i put on this site even if it’s a text post of mine getting many notes so im shook you read my tags and remembered? 

but for actually elaborating: i think this is the post which also i love you for thinking about this for 2 weeks apparently? 

anyway injury discussion warning but, lightning strikes can cause spiral fractures in long bones, dislocations, nervous issues, heart damage i believe? and clearly scarring on the skin, etc. some people after the finale were apparently disappointed they didn’t end up killing mako-- something about completing his arc and being more interesting for korra and asami to come back and realize that happened, and for bolin to have to deal with that, but honestly that would’ve been... too depressing. i think if they would’ve shown the krew dealing with his recovery it would’ve been better than either what we got or mako dying 

i think one of the worst things when you’re waiting for someone to recover is when they do gain consciousness, but you’re not sure if they recognize you or not. i imagine this from bolin’s perspective, after dragging mako out of the mecha, delirious, hooked up to medical equipment bolin might never have seen before (the doctor or nurse explains bender-originated lightning strikes are usually short exposure, similar to natural strikes from the occasional bender fight or malfunction at the electrical factories, but this is different. they really dont know what might happen) 

korra and asami come when they can, and bolin has to explain to everyone what mako did. opal stays by bolin’s side but this kind of stress is not like anything mako let him be exposed to before (up till bolin serves under kuvira and has to escape that) so i think bolin is stressed and tired and probably a little mean about it 

idk who would be there but bolin and maybe opal, maybe asami are there when mako wakes up for the first time, but he’s intubated and can’t speak, and he doesn’t seem to recognize them. bolin tries encourage him to squeeze his hand, but there’s no reaction. the nurses come, and the visitors are ushered out. i know next to nothing about medical procedures or anything but i’m sure there’s tests and things for nerve/muscle/skin/bone damage they’d need to attend to once he’s conscious on some level ??? 

mako is in and out for the next week or two-- bolin by his side whenever he could be, and asking mako if he recognized people as they came to visit. wu comes at some point and makes sure mako and bolin and their family will be taken care of-- even if mako doesn’t recover well. No more having to rely on asami or anyone else. bolin absolutely snaps at him before wu has the chance to explain but he cuts the check nonetheless (as wu should tyvm) 

as soon as mako is coherent though he’s playing like there’s nothing wrong and bolin has nothing to worry about and bolin knows it’s not true, but it’s so easy to just believe mako like always. except mako really needs assistance and probably has to live with bolin or someone, but mako is always pushing to go back to work. i don’t think he’d be able to work until around the time of zhu li and varrick’s wedding? 

i think with all the efforts to fix republic city, and stabilize the earth kingdom, it would be difficult to balance everyone’s greater responsibilities with helping mako but really showing that struggle and how everyone reacts to mako’s near death experience would. be interesting. idk i’m really bad at concluding these things lately but yeah <3 

[eijispumpkin]

good lord this is long i apologize, but hi hello, lovely human with a heart of gold, sweet creature who's full of love, i cannot thank u enough for being u! for sharing your amazing works and bringing comfort to so many people, everything u write is so magical and re-reading your stuff always makes me feel like i'm receiving a warm hug it's the best feeling out there, ik u're taking a break rn and i'm glad to see u taking time for urself, as cool as the internet is it can also be very shitty at times unf, pls take care of urself nd ur health qt ! plus ik we r going thru some rly scary times this year with the pandemic and all that too, ik it's rough, but i hope u're okay, and i wish u loots of happiness mwahh

if u're not accepting asks right now i'm rly sry! pls ignore this i hope u have an amazing day ♡ but if it's not too much trouble, how did u start posting online? bc god, the way my brain keeps convincing me it's stupid even tho ik it would bring me joy :c i see all the drafts and ideas i've had for years now but never got the courage to post or develop bc i always convinced myself that it's too late now, or like it only works if u've already done it for at least a couple years? and that i suck anw and "wanting to write what i'd like to see/read" doesnt really work when i haven't practiced much, sigh even if i gather enough courage smhow, idk wut i'd have to tackle first

you never have to apologize to me for saying long things, no worries my friend!! i am long-winded and rambly by nature, so i totally get it <3 and ahh thank you so much for your kind and lovely words, i appreciate it a lot!!!! i'm very glad to hear that you like my writing so much ♥

how i started posting... man, honestly? i first started posting fic on a tumblr account whose password i have long since forgotten, like eight or nine years ago at this point. it was an rp blog for a very obscure tolkien elf, and i was lucky enough as a young teen to find people who were really kind and encouraging about my writing, both in rp and as little side-ficlets and whatnot! that's how i first got into actual writing at all. tiny ficlets prompted by rp stuff were the first things i ever posted at all - in fact, my first fic posted on ff.net way back when was just one of those lil tumblr rp ficlets i crossposted!

as for your conundrum, i def hear you :( insecurity and anxiety brain can be a HUGE bitch, and i know it's easy to tell yourself that numbers like comments and kudos don't matter, but it still feels really bad when you really want validation and you don't get any. (though i will say, it is true that the numbers don't matter! it's totally a game of luck. some of my favorites of my own fics don't have nearly as many kudos or comments as the ones i personally didn't even like as much/didn't put as much work into. it's not that those fics aren't as good; it's just that popularity is kind of a roulette wheel. it's easy to internalize it as being your fault if something doesn't fly, but it honestly really isn't in your control at all.)

but heres the thing! everyone starts somewhere. when i first started posting fics, i can promise you i was nowhere near as good as i am today! i didn't pay attention to sentence variation, i hardly ever used any imagery, my character voices were underdeveloped, etc etc etc. that doesn't mean that no one liked to see my post, or that i shouldn't have posted! it just means that i was a beginner. and so are you! there's no shame in being new at something. it just means you have a lot to learn, and there's nothing wrong with that at all! in fact i would say there's a lot of joy in discovering your voice and how you like to write. the fear of peoples expectations can weigh you down, but you should write for yourself first, not for others, or else you'll just burn out, you know?

as for what you'd have to tackle first: i could give you a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo if you wanted, but really i think it is about writing what you'd like to see! not in the way that you seem to mean here though (and forgive me if i misinterpreted! i don't mean to put words in your mouth). i first started writing just by describing little daydreams i had about the characters. first and foremost, your creation process should be fun for you!! if you enjoy writing something, your readers will be able to tell, and it adds to the piece. but more important than that is the fact that you'll have had fun creating something. finding what makes writing fun for you is, in my opinion, the most important place to start!!

[hockey-prose]

I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

Summary: Derek sends Will a link to a song. Will thinks nothing of it, until he actually gives it a listen. (Cross posted to AO3.)

(Note: A nurseydex songfic (do people even do song fics anymore?? Who cares. All my nurseydex feelings are courtesy of poindextears on both tumblr and AO3 who I am too intimidated by to tag. And also by girl in red because I’m a yearning bisexual.)

Fall semester- 2016

It started out innocently enough. Nursey sent him a link to a YouTube video while he was in a lab. The vibration on his thigh startled him enough to sneak a look. He would watch it later. It was probably some poetry thing that Will wouldn’t understand.

The two of them had been sharing Lardo’s room for a few months at this point, but Will was honestly thinking of moving out. Out of their shared room, out of the Haus even. Anything to get him away from his...

What was Nursey? A pain in his ass, no doubt. Someone to vent to at 2 am when he couldn’t focus on studying? Yeah. A boyfriend? Will could only fucking dream.

It was only when Will was walking back to the house that he remembered the video. Grabbing his earbuds from his pocket along with his phone, he plugged them in. There was another message under the link.

“Lemme know what u think?”

Will clicked the link. His phone automatically switched him to YouTube. The art on the screen was an outline of two women, one of them smoking a cigarette. Alright. So it was something artsy then. Just as Will thought.

“Oh Hannah

I wanna feel you close”

Hmm. Interesting. It seemed in line with Nursey’s hipster indie type music he liked to listen to while writing. Will had heard plenty of it before. The guitar was nice, and the girl singing had a sadness to her voice. A kind of yearning. The song continued on for a few seconds.

“Oh Hannah

Just look at me the same”

Will made to put his phone it his pocket. When the next lyric of the song came along, he fumbled his phone out of his hand. Luckily it didn’t shatter on the pavement from his earbud cord.

“I don’t wanna be your friend

I wanna kiss your lips”

The redhead stopped short in the middle of the sideway. Someone bumped into him from behind. He hardly noticed.

“I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath

I don't wanna be your friend

I wanna kiss your lips

I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

What? Wait... what?

Will tapped the screen to skip back a few seconds.

“I don’t wanna be your friend

I wanna kiss your lips”

Will replayed it again. And again. And again. He stepped to the side and plopped himself down on a bench.

What? Nursey, what?

“I don’t wanna be your friend

I wanna kiss your lips”

Will started the song all over again. He would listen to it all the way through this time. What could Nursey mean by this? Will didn’t even give himself the hope that Nursey could feel the same.

“I don’t wanna be your friend

I wanna be your bitch

And I wanna touch you but not like this

The look in your eyes

My hand between your thighs

Oh this can't be real

It's all just a dream”

Will felt his ears grow hot. More than likely, they were bright cherry red. God. Why did Nursey send him this?

“I don’t wanna be your friend

Lose my breath”

The song faded out. Will stared at his phone as the video went dark. He closed his mouth, which had opened in shock. Will stood, pressed play on the video, shoved his phone in his pocket, and ran full speed all the way to the Haus.

Racing up the stairs was no big deal, considering he’d sprinted across campus just to find Nursey. Will slammed the door to their room open. Nursey, sitting in the morning sun by the window, startled. His favorite writing journal, a thick leather bound thing, clunked to the floor. Will smiled, and let out an amused breath. It was little more than a huff. He shouldn’t have been out of breath. Nursey took the breath out of him, though.

“Nurse.”

“Dex.”

Will took a moment to compose himself. Stood to his full height, and took a few deep breaths.

“I, uh, listened.”

Will held up his phone by way of explanation.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Nursey stood from the desk, picking up his journal. The position allowed for Will to see a small sliver of Nursey’s chest. Brown skin, a smattering of hair, and a tattoo.

“What did you think?”

Will tosses his phone on his bed after closing the door behind him. It doesn’t take long until he’s over Nursey. Will is pushing him into the desk, his freckled hands on Nursey’s biceps. He surges forward, pressing his lips to Nursey’s, and he feels his body ascending.

Nursey’s hands flit around his body. First, they ball into the back of his flannel to bring him closer. Then they bunch at the back of his head, pulling his hair to angle him. Finally, they land on Will’s ass. Nursey’s big hands with long fingers grip him so tightly. Nothing has ever felt more right.

Nursey’s lips are soft. He uses this special night repairing lip balm. Nursey tastes like mint gum and iced coffee. Will could get used to the taste. Especially if this is what Nursey tasted like all the time.

Nursey’s hand taps Will’s back, and Will pulls away.

“So I’m guessing you liked it?”

Will huffs out another laugh before moving his mouth to Nursey’s neck. He doesn’t bother with a reply.

“Oh, God, Will. Right there.”

Will nibbles the spot Nursey wants him to. Nursey grinds his hips up into him. A groan leaves Will’s throat without him meaning to.

“Will.”

Will looks up at Nursey, at Derek, and melts. There’s a slight flush to his cheeks, and his normal green eyes are about ten times darker.

“Should we... do you wanna...”

Derek trails off, jerking his head to his bed. Will nods. They move together. They kind of... collapse onto the mattress together. Which isn’t easy, considering they’re both 6’2 and hockey players, so they’re big. They make it work though. Derek’s mouth wanders from Will’s lips to just under his chin, his neck, his Adam’s apple. His tongue flicks out occasionally. It’s a new sensation. Will likes it.

Both of them are wearing sweatpants, so when Derek grinds down on Will, they both feel everything. Will lets out a cry that is much louder than he intended. He can feel the heat crawling across his face at an alarming rate. There’s no doubt in his mind that his face has been red the entire time, but what was Will supposed to do? Not make out with his extremely hot roommate?

Derek’s fingers edge themselves in the waistband of Will’s sweats. Will lets out another breath moan.

“Derek.”

It’s all the encouragement that Derek seems to need. His hand slides further into Will’s pants, past his underwear, and then-

Oh.

Things move quickly after that. Clothes are shed, kisses turn intense. Will squirms when Derek pushes into him for the first time, but he adjusts quickly.

Their first time together is slow, sensual almost, with a burning intensity simmering underneath. It’s clear that Derek has done this before, and Derek must know that Will has not done this before. If the noises he make give any indication of it. Every sound that comes from his throat is pitched, choked, and desperate. Will didn’t think his first time would be like this, especially not with Derek.

In the 10 am sun shining through the window, Derek is so beautiful. His green eyes shine, sweat glistens on his chest, and Will has never felt more infatuated with a person than Derek Malik Nurse. Will raises his hand to press it to Derek’s cheek. Derek takes his hand with his own, presses it to his mouth, and kisses it.

Derek’s hand is on him again, jerking him in time with his thrusts. God, it feels so good. Who knew it would feel like this.

“Derek.”

“Will,” Derek says, pressing his lips fervently to Will’s neck. “Are you close?”

Will groans, letting his head fall back onto Derek’s pillow.

“Yes, I’m so close, Derek. Please.”

Derek’s hands and hips move faster. Soon, Will is coming undone, arching his back and clenching around Derek. One hand is in Derek’s hair, the other bunched up in the sheets.

Derek lasts another minute, his thrusts becoming sloppy. He rolls his hips fully into Will, cries out in a way that Will has never heard before, and presses his full weight into Will. Will’s hands travel to Derek’s hair, slightly damp at the scalp, and down to his neck. He cups his hand around the back of Derek’s neck, pulling him closer.

They stay like that for a while, breaths slowly steadying out and melting into each other. Derek slowly pulls out of Will with an almost growl. It’s enough to make Will want a second round, but the slight pain in his hips makes him think again.

There isn’t enough room for them on this twin bed, but somehow they curl together. Will is in Derek’s arms, and his back is to Derek’s chest. Will can feel every inch of Derek across his body, and he revels in the feeling. An arm slides from his chest to hi stomach, resting there just so. It’s a comforting weight. Will feels Derek’s lips on the back of his neck.

Neither one of them wants to break the silence. How do you begin a conversation after what just transpired. Will starts by turning to face Derek. Derek is already looking at him, a certain softness in his face. Will very nearly can’t handle it.

“So, um.”

Very eloquent, William.

“Yeah?”

Derek folds an arm under his head, eyes still locked on Will. It makes Will nervous, and his heart flips. He shoves his hand in Derek’s face. Will hears Derek laugh.

“What the fuck, Will,” Derek says, almost giggling.

“I can’t have you looking at me like that. It makes me nervous.”

Derek pushes his hand away and laces their fingers together. They land together between them on the bed.

“I make you nervous?”

Derek has the cheekiest smirk on his face.

“So nervous. I don’t know how I’ll ever ask you out.”

This time, Derek flushes pink. It’s subtle, but it’s there.

“I don’t do... casual things like this, Derek. I’m sure you know.”

“I do know, Will. Despite what it may seem, I don’t do this casually either.”

Will presses his forehead to Derek’s.

“Good, good.”

Derek scoots forward and gives Will a sweet, soft kiss.

“So, dinner tonight?”

Derek’s question makes Will thrum with energy.

“Yeah. Sounds good to me.”

“Chill.”

They curl into each other, Will’s head on Derek’s chest. Will allows his fingers to trace around the cuff on Derek’s bicep.

“Hey, Will. Think about it like this.”

Will tilts his head up to look at Derek. He has a shit eating grin on his face.

“At least now you don’t have to worry about putting out on the first date.”

Derek nearly falls off his bed laughing when Will shoves him. Even with the horrible joke, Will can’t stop smiling.

[bookwyrminspiration]

hello hello its been a few days but i, the dream nonsie, am back! (also my name actually means "dream" irl 👀) personally, i think a silveny flavored popsicle would be cinnamon-y as u said, but also... sparkly? in a way? not- not like actual glitter, thats disgusting, but.. when u eat it it just *feels* magical. not sure if im making sense lol ^^ aww, glad my crazy dream made you happy! :D ask word limit is getting close so imma continue in another ask if thats okay with you! <3 1/?

hello!! welcome back--i gotta admit I was not expecting this, but it's so nice of you and I really appreciate it <33. I hope you don't mind me compiling this all into one post, that way it's just a little more organized. you're entirely welcome to send as many asks as you want, so don't worry about continuing in others! I don't mind at all!

1. oo that's a really cool name meaning!! I always think it's interesting to hear what other people's name mean, or they meanings they've chosen to associate with them (as some have more that one). Quil doesn't really have a meaning, so I love hearing others'!! The only thing I miss about my dead name is the meaning, tbh, because it was pretty !!

also, I can totally imagine the cinnamon/sparkly popsicle. when you say that I immediately think of sparkling water for some reason, like it's not a taste it's a feeling. you put it in your mouth and it's an experience. you're wild dream was probably the highlight of my day!! something about it just stood out and I kept coming back to think about it. long silveny popsicles can do that to you, i guess

2. oopsie! my bad! when someone says writing I usually just default to the wings au, because that's the writing most people know me for. but!! i'm glad you like all the analyses I've done! I don't think they'll be stopping anytime soon--it's like everytime I answer an ask I get two more, which means there will be a steady stream of them for the forseable future. I really enjoy doing them, so I love hearing that people enjoy reading them! they're mostly just me rambling until I find a pattern or connection to latch onto, and then I build from there. and depending on the ask I might grab a book from my shelf to reference something if needed

also: thank you! The wings au is a pretty big project I've wanted to take on for a while, so it's absolutely thrilling to see people interact with it and talk about it--even if they haven't read it. There's absolutely no pressure on you to read it, just so you know! Honestly sometimes baffles me that I've gotten fanart and so many asks and comments on it, enough so that people who haven't read it still know what it is. like?? my wings au?? silly little idea I had all because of one stray thought one day?

as for writing it while taking college classes: yes! that's what I've been doing! I think i've had a combined total of like three weeks of break since January (i don't get summer), but aside from that i've had four or five classes while writing the au. Actually was taking an A&P class (which are notoriously difficult, even more so on summer schedule) this summer while working on it, which was wild. But a lot of the excited comments and theories and general interaction helped motivate me to keep going.

3. it's not dissapointing at all! I don't expect for anyone to read it, it's not something you have to do in order to interact with me and the stuff on my blog. it's just something I happen to be doing so if you like it you're welcome to engage with it! I actually don't read fanfic very often either, which may be surprising as I write it. Occasionally I binge a bunch of fics in a certain ship when I'm in the mood, but that's only once every few months. Ships just don't hold huge appeal for me, so I don't find a lot of fic that interests me. Also wow! mine was one of the first you've heard of?? that's a huge accomplishment to me, thank you! Where did you hear about it? I honestly don't know where people find my au, so I'm curious.

speaking of reading fanfic, Nattie's (theunmappedstar) fic is one of the few I've read! I haven't talked to them in a while, but they're very accomplished and it's an honor to be considered alongside them in terms of writing!

as for committing to mine, feel free to take your time! no rush! it's always going to be there! although I will say it does just keep getting longer, so be prepared for that. I update every two weeks on sunday, so you've got time. if you do read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts. truly, comments and just hearing what people think are the best motivation. it also enriches the story! I never know what's going to stick out to people or what they'll remember, so hearing from people gives me ideas for scenes in the future! I have a general idea of where this au is heading, but a lot of the details have been impacted by theories and comments. You absolutely don't have to though, just if you'd like I'd love to hear

4. thank you so much <33. I'd love to get back more into traditional art, as i've been focusing on digital recently. I just love how watercolors look! I actually have a few art requests from an embarrasingly long time ago (April) that I'd like to do in a traditional style. I also just haven't posted as much art recently, so I'd love to get back into that. Coloring and lighting were mostly me just winging it, trying to imagine a few colors that would look nice next to each other and then just going for it. Also, i cant even count how many times I would accidentally switch up the light source in in the middle of a piece. I actually took an art class a few semesters ago, so I have leftover supplies from that I could use for some keeper pieces! I've had a few ideas, so hopefully your encouragement can help me get back into that <33

the writer and artist thing: thank you!! both writing and art are interests of mine, so it's so cool to get recognized for both!! I remember when I started posting art I was doing it as a "I'll do this for now until I get to the writing" thing and then i accidentally became fairly well-known as an fanartist and i was just there like wait a minute this wasn't supposed to happen. But I love it!! I love doing fanart and I'd love to do more. But I also love writing! i have some ideas for aus and other one shots I'd like to do when the wings au is done, not that I'm trying to hurry that along. I thoroughly enjoy working on the wings au, and i'm not in any rush to get through it.

and don't worry, you have nothing to apologize for!! i'm glad you feel comfortable talking to me! You don't need to be concise or anything, you're welcome to take up as much space and use as many words as you'd like. I think it'd be a little hypocritical if i didn't believe that, considering how long my responses to the asks i get are (partially why they sometimes take a bit to answer). it was very much so a fun read!! I really appreciate you and wasn't even sure how to respond to everything in a way that conveyed that. I absolutely blown away by how genuine and sweet you are

i really loved this ask, and I've reread it several times because it's just so kind. thank you so much <33