#u can’t fool me squidward

[wanderingpages]

Now which one of u published this

[miiracleangel]

Shake ass pt. 1

karasuno 2nd and 3rd year edition

❤︎ hey guys this is my first writing work and it’s basically full crack and who is more crack that the boys of Karasuno. I’m also taking requests and making this a mini series so if there’s a boy you want just send his ass my way❤︎

i reposted this from my old account and i might have changed the gifs around don’t kill my okay love u bye

~Karasuno 1st year edition~

hinata, kageyama, yamaguchi and tsukishima

- “If he doesn’t send you a video of him shaking his ass he’s cheating on you”

(gifs not mine)

❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

Hinata

you were bored scrolling on tiktok until you came across the challenge

you knew never in a million years that Shoyo would cheat on you but the thought of the orange haired cutie shaking ass for you was too good to pass up. So you texted him

“she wants you to what?!” “SHAKE SOME ASS IF IM NOT CHEATING CANT U READ KAGEYAMA?!”

he SPRINTS to the corner of the court keeping his phone up with a water bottle. Getting straight up weird looks.

“Hinata what are yo-“ “hold on daichi i need to do something it’s urgent”

stares.... everyone just stares totally confused. It was shown directly to kageyama but he’s still confused.

doesnt even bother to put on music he has no time he needs to prove his innocence

you get a notification from your phone 10 minutes later from Hinata and yes, it’s a video.

You see his team mates circle behind him with the most confused faces ever made. Hinata steps back from the camera and just...let’s it loose.

hands on his knees

his ass, his legs, his back everything wiggling

has no idea how to shake ass but baby is trying

You DIE laughing seeing whats unfolding before your eyes: Your boyfriend. terribly shaking ass with his teammates behind him, ALL sorts of confused with Tanaka and Nishinoya screaming of laugher in the corner. a sight to see

you shoot your boyfriend a text.

“Thank you i believe you but it was just a tiktok challenge”

“ANYTIME BABE” he texts back

hes just happy that your happy and you know he will never cheat. hes so precious oml

Kageyama

looks you dead in the eyes...”you want me to what?”

“shake ass if you’re not cheating on me”

“how does that prove i’m not cheating on you?” he looks at you with a eyebrow up.

“cheating men are physically unable to shake ass that’s how we always know when a man is cheating”

he just stares at you and ya know what

he believed you.

he really actually believed you bcs he nodded and said “okay that makes sense”

he gets up from his bed that you’re both currently sitting on.

“wait” you says and he stops to turn and look at you.

body by Meg thee stallion starts playing from your phone

“continue” you say with a cute smile on your face.

he just stands there, juts out his butt and just wiggles side to side. completely off the beat. After a couple seconds he stops

“Happy?” he asks. slightly annoyed

you look him up and down. “Your arch sucks but this will do”

he sits back down on his bed next to you, sighing, happy to know he can shake ass and he’s not a cheater.

“btw what i said about cheating men can’t shake ass is a lie”

“i hate you” he says quickly after you finish before kissing your forehead. You pout at him, earning him to kiss your pouty lips.

he would do anything to prove he will always love you. even if he looks stupid.

Yamaguchi

another soft babie 🥺

He was walking back home with tsukishima when he got a video call from you.

“hey babe what’s -

“that’s not important right now” you interrupt him.

he stops completely in his tracks. Tsukishima looks at him on his phone confused.

“what’s wrong y/n”

“i’m gonna need you to shake some ass if you’re not cheating on me”

“what?”

Tsukishima covers a laugh with a cough. You texted him minutes before you called your boyfriend to let him know your plan.

“do as she says if you’re not” his best friend tells him with a straight face.

“ ok ok ok” Yamaguchi frantically looks around for a place he can set his phone and decides on a brick fence ledge.

y’all know how squidward shaked his ass to boys who cry?

yeah

just like that

you and tsukishima DIE upon sight of your boyfriend trying to prove his innocence on something he didn’t even think about doing

“please stop my eyes are hurting oh my god” tsukishima says covering his eyes, walking away laughing. “dude it’s a challenge stop oh my god”

your boyfriend freezes. “it’s a challenge?” he asks you

“ yes i know you would never cheat on me i just wanted some ass” you tell him laughing. “i loved it tho and i love youuuu” you coo to him

he smiles. hearing your laugh melted at least half of him embarrassment. “i love you too, i’ll be by your place in a bit” he says kissing you through the phone.

Tsukishima

“not gonna happen”

“so you’re cheating on me”

“no”

“so prove it”

“i’m not shaking my ass infront of you to prove that i’m not cheating on you. it has no correlation”

you sit your head up from his chest in your cuddled position.

you give him puppy eyes. “pweeasee Keiiiiii”

“i might as well cheat” he says with a breathy laugh

you lightly hit his chest. “so you hate me”

“never said that out loud”

“soooo shake some ass” you beg. He shoots you a bored look “you better not record this if i’m gonna make a fool out of myself”

“you have my word my love” he smiles and kisses your forehead before jokingly pushing you off him. “fine” he mumbles

he gets up and as soon as he turns around to face you, you play juicy by doja cat.

“definitely no-“

“YOU SAID U WOULD” you yell over him.

he sighs.

turns so his butt faces you and does a lil dancy dance.

much to his luck mid booty shake...Akiteru walks in.

“Hey Kei mom said din- what are you doing?”

“GET OUT”

you’re rolling on the bed dying of laughter. Never in your life did you think the stars would align so well

“Next time i’m cheating on you” he says walking out leaving you to laugh at what you witnessed.

❤︎hope you guys enjoyed my mediocre writing! ❤︎

[astro-chan]

WFC Trilogy - Character Reviews

(That no one asked for)

Optimus Prime

Pretends to listen to everyone's advice

jUsT hAvE fAiTh

Okay let's look for the allspark because I said so

*Yeets it off Cybertron an hour later*

Frustrates everyone

Including his own team

Simp

Elita

Exasperated mom

Lowkey tired of OP's shit

Give the gal a break

Bad bitch

Should be leader tbh

Bumblebee

3 edgy 5 me

Sassmaster

He knows a guy

'iTs NoT a PhAsE mOm'

The ugly one

Jetfire

Probably played basketball in HS

Told his boss to go suck it

Joined the other team as an excuse to murder his former colleages

Chaotic good

Ultra Magnus

Wants peace

(Fucking dies and has his body used as a weapon of war)

His decapitated head makes a nice ornamental table piece

Ratchet

Tired of everyone's shit

Has a decepticon bf

Do NOT upset his patients

Beautiful

(((WHERE IS HE)))

Wheeljack

'Pain in my A S S'

Wheeljack N O

What does he know about Perceptor's tight receptor?

D...did he just give Megatron a boob job?

Mirage

Now you see me now you don't

Wants to fight Ratchet's decepticon bf

ADHD

Prowl

Good cop

Not ACAB???

Almost gets his shit wrecked by fucking wind

Cog

Haha big gun go pew

Somehow survives having a big ass hole blown in his torso

Gets sucked out of a ship into the cold depths of space

Gets stabbed in the tit

Are you okay, my little cogchamp?

Arcee

Shows up outta nowhere as an accomplice in robbery

Lowkey wishes she stayed home

Her and bee have chaotic sibling vibes

Chromia

Moonracer but blue

Does not get dismembered

Will snipe your ass

Moonracer

Chromia but mint

Gets dismembered

Can't snipe your ass because she's dead

Red Alert

Didn't graduate med school for this shit

Somehow survives falling to his death

He's always alert....hehe....get it?....Cuz his name's Red Alert...and he's always...heh...alert

Impactor

Angery gay

Will fight you

Won't actually fight you because Ratchet would disapprove

Deserved better

Ironhide

Red

Thank you for flying ark airlines this is your captain speaking

Probably has no idea wtf is happening most of the time

Sideswipe

Hood tiddies

*points at butterfly* is this screentime?

Sideswipe character

Hound

Wait this guy was in the show???

Huh

Idk he did a thing?

He's green I guess

Alpha Trion

Proud single dad of three kids

Can't control his three kids

Get's murdered by one of his three kids

(That kid then went on to start a planetary war against the other two kids)

Bumblebee's sleep paralysis demon

Megatron

L I P S

Overlord is that u?

Handsome squidward vibes

Has giant self-portraits of him murdering autobots hung up around his crib

Angry at OP because he's shit at flirting with OP

Save the cybertronians...by mass murdering the cybertronians

Gets stabbed in the tit

Starscream

Puritan scum

Gets promoted and instantly climaxes

*breathes excitedly*

*pleased gasp*

Jetfire's bitch

Thundercracker

Starscreams #1 fanboy

Is shit at searching for Autobots

Skywarp

Starscreams #2 fanboy

Dies?!?!

RIP I guess

Soundwave

That guy on the radio

Shares a braincell with Shockwave

Lowkey wholesome

C00l d00d

Shockwave

Questionable morals

Even more questionable voice

Yeah. Science, bitch!

Bastard

Barricade

ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB

GOLD FACE

Get's screamed at a lot

Skytread

Secretly doesn't condone Megatron's shit

Wants to be punched in the face

Does not want to be shot in the face

Spinister

Generic bad guy #1

Gets stabbed in the tit

Vortex is that u

Hotlink

Generic bad guy #2

Does not get stabbed in the tit

Skywarp is that u

Laserbeak

Birb

Sees all

Caw

Ravage

A good boy

STOP THROWING HIM AROUND

This is animal abuse I'm calling PETA

Soundblaster

Radical

He's gonna make you an offer you can't refuse

Soundwave's cooler cousin

Deeseus

ORDER IN THE COURT

Cut off 4 of it's 5 faces so it could get it's shit together

Still does not have it's shit together

Doubledealer

Lockdown WHOMS'T

Bitch better have my money

Gets posessed by his client

Skylinx

#deep

(How does he see???)

Wisdom dog 2.0

Ahaha that was the old me

Dude's just vibing in space

Scorponok

YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL

Impressive vocabulary

Will insult you eloquently

(((Fr he's been through so much trauma; he lost his family, became the last of his kind, is probably suffering from PTSD and now two groups of strangers invade his home and start shooting at him. Homeboy has every right to be pissed off)))

Omega Supreme

Nuh uh I ain't getting involved

*gets involved 10 mins later*

Aight what did I miss?

Galvatron

The embodiment of the 'Who are you? / I'm you...but stronger' meme

Gets lit the fuck up

Nemesis Prime

*Glare*

Of course he only gets 2 seconds of screentime

[brayinghorses]

Shit said in my AP Calculus class

T: “There it is.”

“Jump disc.”

“Your life is an asymptote.”

“What does that mean?” “Your mom.” “Thank you.”

“Is there a hole?!”

“Stop fisting each other!”

“The David Copperfield Theorem.“

“Oh my Goddd. I’m saying oh my god because I just realized that parallel lines have the same slope.”

“🎵Operator pleeease🎵”

“Nicholas where do I go from here?”

“Confetti.”

“This is like Math Debate 101”

“Consult yourself before asking me!”

“That’s a 2.” “Oh my God, I’m an idiot.” “We all knew that.”

“Lo d'hi less hi d'lo o lo squared🎵”

“Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak students smarter.”

“I’m gonna cry.”

“Wait, did I do something stupid?”

“I thought I was on a roll. Oh wait, I’m on a roll again.”

“It’s 7!”

“Es como una cebolla.”

“C E B O L L A”

“Ughh, this one is giving me diarrhea.” “Me too … which one?” “G(x) of that.” “Saaame.”

“Just like onions, composite functions make me cry.”

“Nooo, but the second one is different!”

“Waiii, Ms Raaayymoss!!!”

T: “This *rapid hand shaking* means anxiety

“I would’ve been right, but I did it wrong.”

T: “I hate everyone in this room.”

“That’s gonna be my senior quote: ‘This, parenthesis school parenthesis, kills the man.’”

T: “Close my door! … Thank you!”

“Did you know that you can stop it (the announcements)? You just throw a hammer at it.”

*scattered depressed yays*

T: “I’m gonna start teaching now, thanks.”

“Sin minus what in the hell ”

“Is it that y minus crap?”

T: “Cool, someone left their eraser, it’s mine now.”

“Ms, if I give you a quote, you’ll say it’s cheesy.” T: “Oh my god, are you still sensitive about that??” “Yes I’m still sensitive about that!”

“I did that once, she didn’t notice.” “Wait, do what?” “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you dying, more like, are you deading?”

T: *writing the answer on the board, which is -2cot(sinθ)csc^2(sinθ)cosθ* “That’s the alphabet.”

“That looks easy. Probably isn’t, but the illusion of easy is still there.”

“I don’t think it’s that hot. You’re all ugly. ... Are you gonna quote me?”

T: “Let’s try a more complicated problem.” “FNAF Sister Location.”

“WAII, IS THAT THE ANSWER? IS THE ANSWER THE QUESTION??” “We did it! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE ONION!”

“I dunno, I farted I guess”

T: “But you have no 3x here.” “...” “BOY, U THOT!” “Yeah, I thought.”

T: “If I could find your derivative, then I could be the one over you” (1/u)

“Well, what do you suck?” “Oh, the usual normal stuff. Nipples, obviously. Cortina’s penis. Oh wait, it doesn’t exist!”

“Wow, that looks, that looks, that looks like something I’d regret doing.”

“I’m Valery, of course I was gonna be born in October!”

“Nick got the opening gates of Heaven.” *aaHHH* T: “Yeah, that’s what it’s supposed to look like.”

“I don’t regret.”

“It’s not my fault, it’s *in unison* the problem’s fault.”

T: “du du du, oh who cares?” “I learn so much in math.”

T: *quiet cry of why*

“I would’ve gotten the points -- if I wasn’t such an idiot!”

“I’m so hurt.” “Matthew, this is HELL”

“How long does it take to render it?” “Uh.” “9 million years.” “Yeah, I’d estimate that”

*twins in unison* “Double the cream, double the fun. The new Oreos double stuffed”

“It’s Valery’s D”

“Look man, I don’t chose my socks”

“The way I wrote it, it says yey.” “YEY!”

“I got it, but I didn’t.” “What was it?” “The y. It’s not yey, it’s ey.”

*me and a friend singing Bet on It*

“Everything in math matters.”

“I don’t care anymore.” “Damn, Nigel doesn’t care anymore.”

“Man, I miss my gummy bears.” T: “At what rate did I eat those gummy bears?”

“You gotta draw the lake (leak).” T: ??? *draws squiggly* “No, the leak!” T: “Oh, leak? I thought you said lake!”

T: *draws a house* “Yo, that’s a face!” “That’s Squidward’s house!” “It’s a totem!”

That time I fooled a classmate

“I thought you said that my sexuality gives you the fractions.” “Obviously.”

“Stop reminding me that I forget basic math relations.” “What did you forget?” “4th grade math.”

“Can’t you just do that?” “No, you plebeian!”

“You have to multiply eveRYTHING”

“It concaves up.” T: “It concaves up.” “yOOOO” Class: “OHHHHHH” “We’re geniuses!”

T: “She (J) gets so excited when she understands something!” *class starts laughing* T: “No, I’m serious, it’s a good thing!” Student to J: “Is that why you’re never excited?” *class oohhhs*

“The only blue pen I have.” “It’s not even blue, it’s black!” “Well shit”

“You’re so squoosh!” “I’m just a skeleton with a layer of donuts”

*Psycho music plays* *class laughs* “The impending doom of the math that approaches!”

“What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A π-thon!”

T: “Who has the (unit) circle?” “I like lowkey know it.” T: “Really lowkey.”

“Great. Now back to my regularly scheduled gay shit.”

“Nick the dick.”

“Nick the brick licks slick dick sticks.” “Nick the thick brick.” “Nick the sick thick chick brick licks slick dick sticks.”

T: “I’ve actually taken out the batteries of my remote control to put in my calculator.”

“Fuck yeah!” T: “Are you frustrated?” “No, I said ‘fuck yeah’!”

“I didn’t know why everyone was screaming POI until it finally hit me.” “Man, her mind was on POT.”

“She’s Jesus!”

“Look at this net, that I just found!” “I was thinking the exact same thing!” “NO STOP”

*me pointing at i* “BALD BALD BALD BALD”

“Do we use a calculator for this?” “No calculators, we die like men.”

“Error. Good job.”

T: “No me de esa cara.”

T: “Let’s see, what did I call it here ... nothing.”

“What in equation? What in optimization?”

T: “I was doing this in a rush. Never do things in a rush, guys.”

“You could get caught!” “I don’t give a shit.” “You’d lose $60!” “Oh shit, maybe 2 shits.”

T: “I’ll multiply everything by 3r^2.” “Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute -- is that legal?” T: “Yes.”

“My numbers are 50!”

“Not gonna lie, I said the word “coefficient”and I was surprised.”

“The naked F.”

“That could be there.”

“Ln is foolishproof, right?”

“What in approximation?”

“Is it fair?” T: “What is?” “Is it fair to flip them?” T: “Yeah!” “Is it legal?”

T: “1 2 3 4 5 6 7 oh whatever.”

“Why are you so extra?” “I’m not extra, you’re just not enough.”

“Will Patty get 2 tickets? *flips the eraser* Matthew.”

T: “You can move out the 3 if it bothers you so much, look at him, probrecito.”

“I thought it was some weird trendy calculus thing.”

“Darth Vader?”

“The answer is divide. The album. Buy it now.”

“YOU’RE a capital F!”

“Nigel, we’re not doing the quiz -- we’re doing the TEST!”

T: “I don’t, I’m sorry.” “No, I’m sorry.” “We’re all sorry.”

*about Nicholas* “He’s already failing, he’s a leftie.”

“With all this work, I’m gonna pull a Kelli.” “What do you mean?” “Cry for no reason.”

T: “It’s integrated in your integration work, haha.”