#u can try n keep a count of everyone u meet... but ull probably mess it up since differentiating between alters can be hard

[mukuberry]

hi i'm one of your mutuals but i'm not very comfortable with asking this off-anon ! i would like to ask for your experience/advice. i've been recently questioning being plural but i don't understand how to fully untangle who am i at the moment, how many of me there are and what defines them. the main reason why i started questioning at all was getting a fictive (?) very distinct in values and character compared to how i act socially most of the time. to distinguish me i've tried using 1) strong feelings towards something (problem: depends on emotional state) and 2) what do i remember (problem: all fuzzy), so i wonder if there's an easier method i'm simply missing

Oh god im definitely not the best person to ask, but I'll try my best! Whenever I'm confused on who's who or what's going on, I usually rely on seeing what 'my' interests are. For example, I'm a hugely picky eater, so I'll try and see what food I'm craving in the moment, and if it's something I'd never normally eat, then it's safe to assume it's not me who's wanting it. Or music! I like most music but I'm usually only in the mood for a small handful of songs, so a sudden pull to a song and I don't really want to listen to is a good sign... things like that. Things that you already know your opinions on pretty well, so you'll notice any weird change. Trying to visualise myself in my head can also be pretty helpful at times!! When you're talking with another alter, trying to imagine yourself talking to them face to face can help show you what they look like and help with headspace access/creation, and if you can't visualise them, you might be able to get some clues from how your visualisation of yourself is different from normal.

That being said, please don't feel like you need to know who's who constantly! When you first start discovering your system, it can feel extremely overwhelming and you might feel like you need to know everything about everything as soon as possible and feel in control of yourself again (we definitely did), but I promise there's really no rush to these things. Not knowing who you are in the moment is extremely common, especially with blending and passive influence messing with things. As you start to learn more about your system and your other alters, it'll be easier to determine between them based on their opinions, the sound of their voice and ☆vibes☆, but you don't need to rush this process. You'll learn you have alters who are so different from eachother you can tell when they're there before they even know, and you'll learn you have alters so similar to you you'll never be able to really tell if they're even a separate alter from you- especially if you find out if you're a bigger system. I know it's hard and extremely frustrating at times, but it's probably best to try and go with the flow, slowly learn things but don't force anything, and if sometimes you really can't tell what's going on, take a moment to accept the identity confusion and accept that no matter how much you learn, there will always be moments like this. Try not to compare yourself to other systems online and don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes. You don't need to know or understand everything, no system does.