#typical judas 8 am meltdown pls just kill me yall im too much of a pussy to do it myself rn

[slutdge]

further on the post I made about my sister and how I can't forgive her despite not abusing me but for voting against my right to exist, I think that's also the issue I have with my mother is that even though she didn't dish out the majority of the abuse and I think if it had just been her level of abuse I could forgive her, unlike my father who was so horrific that I can just never forgive him no matter how much work he does or therapy he does or how much he changes (which he won't because he's so convinced he never did anything wrong as if anything could justify beating a nine year old into unconsciousness and sexually humiliating them lol) I really don't think I can forgive my mother anymore either just because she stood by him and is still married to the man who ruined my life. anyways broken record I need to fucking get out of here lmao, i wish someone would take the fact that im dying and deteriorating in this environment seriously lol i wish life sucking capitalism didnt force me to remain here. if youre going through the same thing i love you so much and i wanna let you know you dont deserve it no matter how hard your brain tries to convince you that you do.