#typical day at boxmore

[perplexi]

and there was no more open door policy after that...🤦‍♀️😂🔥

[perispinel]

OK K.O. Episodes Review!

I got Hulu Live just to watch em! 

Gar Trains Punching Judy: A great funny episode, with the starring role of Melissa Villasenor doing some great work which I greatly enjoyed! It was also a pretty meaningful episode, showing Gar getting himself a bit more emotionally stable after all the hardships of his life- and all in all, it was funny seeing how K.O. was just plopped into this plot without really having any big role in it! 10 outta 10 for this one!

Beach Episode: This is a pretty nice, chill episode I think- I like the idea of them having a second job exclusively for the summer at the beach, even if it probably won’t appear again after this! Beach episodes are always fun, and this is no exception! I love Enid’s Naruto-style training, along with her Jaws-style revenge! And the fact that Raymond’s “swimsuit” is just a speedo and nothing else is just feeding into that fanart and that Radmond~ that Baywatch reference managed to be simultaneously subtle and glaringly obvious, and the landfill plot comes off as a lot less preachy when it’s combined with all this silliness with all the fun beach combat. ANyone else love that Raymond of all people is the one to agree with working together? All in all, this was a great episode, ten outta ten! (P.S. Rad and Raymond were put on the same board, coincidence or ship tease?) OK A.U.: Heck yeah, a canon alternate universe! This is definitely not the way I expected this episode to begin, with a “our life is much harder than yours” kinda plot, but it is a great way to begin an episode about being transported to another universe! I kinda hope that the Alternate Universe Warlock becomes a popular character in the fandom due to how easy he’d be to use for fanfiction!  I love this perspective into what its like to be a Boxbot- unlike Mr. Gar, he doesn’t show any sympathy and is perfectly willing to reboot you if you ever disobey! It makes being a Boxbot seem kinda scary, although that was kind of a given. And man, I love the way these humanizations of the Boxbots look, exactly how I would’ve imagined them! I loved how the original moral ended up being completely thrown away when it turns out that when he created this alternate universe, he didn’t give them the same memories. And nice callback to the “Let’s Watch the Pilot” episode! ten outta ten, hopefully this becomes a popular one! 

K.O.’s Health Week: This episode has such a Sesame Street vibe to it, or like an episode of a cartoon from the ninetees where they were forced to give out morals without any relevance to the plot or characters. In fact, I am totally certain that this is meant to be a parody of those kinda kid’s shows, with K.O. in place of someone like Elmo or Sonic from Sonic Sez. This episode is definitely establishing K.O. as having some pretty wacky toonforce, being able to just climb into someone’s mouth and shrink into the size of a tiny toothbrush to literally wipe out plaque. This episode seems like it was both meant as a way to teach cute lessons to kids and as a way to show K.O.’s trait of wanting to be a hero to anyone. I enjoy the way they managed to rope in the Boxbots into the plot, and both this and Beach Episode show that in the right circumstances, they can get along well! It looks like this episode might’ve been more than just a silly “the more you know” gag- it was showing that K.O. needs to take care of himself! It’s nice to see that even though the Boxbots still got pummelled, they were on good terms with K.O. by the end. Maybe eventually we’ll have a plot with the Boxbots questioning their villainy? Anyway, ten outta ten for this! 

Rad’s Alien Sickness: I absolutely love this already, with Venomous and Fink getting their own villainous intro to signify their new role in Boxmore! I had no idea we would get to the point of biological warfare being used against the Bodega Trio, but Venomous is the kind to definitely pull that off! It seems maybe they were using Rad’s persistence against him in order to make them fall apart, which is pretty clever for someone who hasn’t been there for that long. Their depiction of Rad’s sickness managed to be pretty gross without being overly realistic, as all fluids are replaced with just blue. I love how K.O. has proved to be the perfect pal, helping his friends with whatever is ailing them, and the fact that he got desperate enough to use leeches and crystals is adorable and funny. Anyone else surprised to hear the term “enabler” used in a kid’s cartoon? And I just love the fourth wall breaking of them saying they barely see Ernesto! Honestly, this episode just proves how much better of a villain Venomous really is, as he basically using his real villain skills to do what Boxman always wanted to do- almost, at least! Well, ten outta ten, I can’t wait for the finale! (not sure whether that cocooning thing is more funny or creepy.)

Dark Plaza: It should typically be a good sign when an episode begins with a cheesy laughtrack and everyone being happy, but the last episode to do that was Let’s Take a Moment, an episode packed with big reveals and twists, so I am already feeling something coming. And already I was right, with Foxtail and Elodie showing up with a bunch of construction workers and giant pointy ships! THis episode is already getting heavy, with the supposed hero wanting to bulldoze Lakewood Plaza to start extracting glorbs and Carol’s secret being revealed to Gar! Oh boy, I love the parallels- in the heat of the moment, Gar is telling off Carol and saying something he’s bound to regret while it rains down hard, just like Carol did all those years ago. Gar seems to have completely given up and is gone, time will only tell if it lasts. Oh boy, subversion of expectations- instead of T.K.O. coming out to save the day, he’s stopped from fighting, and two months pass to reveal that they actually did win! Villains win! I mean, heroes win really, but you get it. It’s pretty dope that the heroes have formed a resistance, and they have such cool new outfits which I bet will get plenty of fanart! The fact that Mr. Gar had the blueprints to the Plaza encoded with holographic morse is pretty clever, and I am into this fun heist mission being pulled off!  Ms. Mummy’s appearance was a surprise indeed, and I also didn’t think we’d get to see P.K.O. again, but this episode is full of surprises! The callback to the Key to the Plaza from the Plazalympics is pretty cool, as I was almost certain that was just a gag. It probably originally was a gag, but now it’s not! I also love the fact that Plazamo from Crinkly Wrinkly’s story turned out to be real, and he wasn’t just making stuff up- he just has a weird way of remembering things. I am very hopeful that Elodie will come around- she seemed remorseful back then when she actually destroyed the plaza, but it seems now she’s been completely turned. This episode is doing well to prove both how tough K.O. is and how powerful Foxtail is, and I love it! 

Nice to see Mr. Gar return to save the day, and Carol too! And man, Elodie is stone-cold brutal- turning on her own superior just to prove she can, and that all in all she still loves Enid. It’s also sweet that they’re still having such an emotional moment with her even after all she’s done- Foxtail did have good intentions, after all. I think that all in all, that was a pretty good season finale. I expected something with Shadowy Figure, and sadly we didn’t really get any hints at it, but I’m sure next season is gonna do something about that. Eleven outta ten! 

[squidney01]

I totally forgot about this episode and all its potential

I forgot about this episode, but @vinan-rhaplanca reminded me of its awesome theory potential that I completely forgot about!!! Thanks for reminding me

Ok, so let’s go into the theory. What was the purpose of Ernesto hypnotizing the students when he was their substitute teacher? Specifically, why was he teaching KO’s class? Was there any significance to it? Let’s get into the details.

So in the episode “The So-Bad-ical” new textbooks are received by the students of KO’s school. Suspiciously named ‘Booksmore’ and they’re to teach the students basic math that they’ve already learned. And when their teacher, Ms. Quantum, goes on sabbatical a substitute teacher is hired to take her place. This person or rather robot was Ernesto from Boxmore. When Ernesto starts reading from the text books all the students go into a trance except for Dendy and KO (who falls asleep). We all know how it ends so I won’t go any further when explaining the episode.

But what is important is, why Ernesto was teaching KO’s class? Why would the Boxmore robots become involved with kids as young as KO?

It isn’t really what they’re known for. In fact, they probably prefer destroying things physically than anything else. And while they’re smart they aren’t the type of robots to have a well thought out plan. I know that they’re succeeding financially, but that’s probably because they spend their time better than Boxman ever did. Anywho, it just isn’t ‘in their programming’ if you catch my drift. They were made to follow orders by whoever was in charge. Whether that was Boxman or Darrel or maybe someone else....

As @vinan-rhaplanca suggested, maybe it was neither Boxman nor Darrel that gave the order to hypnotize the students at KO’s school. Perhaps it was Professor Venomous.

In the few occasions we’ve seen him in action, we know that PV is fairly respected by his fellow villains. We’ve never seen him use any sort of power. All we know about him is that he’s a bioengineer. What does this mean? Let me tell you.

To put this simply, a bioengineer is someone who uses the biological characteristics of certain living things and uses technology to innovate them. They’re the kind of scientists that can make artificial muscles, cells, etc.

Anywho, PV used bioengineering to create that ‘bio-chip’ that he gave to Bowman, which he used to give Boxman Jr. enough power to take down anyone in the plaza. However, he was almost no match to TKO/KO. I say almost because even TKO wasn’t able to destroy him right away. TKO was able to destroy a level 100 Darrel, but had a harder time taking down Boxman Jr..... but that’s a theory for another day.

Anywho, this wasn’t a typical Boxmore plan. Obviously they needed some guidance for this plan. Who was behind this plan? We don’t know for sure, but PV could be the one behind this. So IF he was behind this, what was his motive? Why would he want Ernesto to hypnotize KO’s class?

On another side note. What was the deal with their principle?!? I mean really? How dull do you have to be to hire a villain as a substitute teacher? Especially when a majority of them are looking to be heroes when they grow up. Perhaps the principal has a similar situation like Chip Damage, where he’s super friendly with people in public but once the curtains close he’s a different person... Who knows. He could just be that dull and irresponsible... maybe that’s why the students only see him once a year...🤔 but allow me to continue.

Maybe, PV wanted to kidnap KO where he knew no one would be watching him. Just think about it. His mom can’t watch him cause he’s at school and neither can Enid, Rad, or Gar. His strict teacher who keeps an eye on everyone just went on sabbatical. The principal needs a substitute. Soooo, he’s pretty much on his own. And to ensure he could get at KO without any repercussions he sends in someone KO doesn’t know as well as the others. Someone that KO hasn’t really faced, but is still somewhat feared. The best out of all the robots for the job is Ernesto (after all he is a business robot and isn’t really known for being violent).

Perhaps he knows what KO is capable of and wants to get his hands on his turbonic energy. I mean he’s already experimented with it before (remember that collar he made for Fink?)

Idk. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk everyone.

Special thanks to @vinan-rhaplanca for suggesting this theory to me!!! (This theory was really fun to write about)

Also if any of you have any thoughts/theories that you think I should write about, or maybe you saw something that got overlooked, please feel free to share!!! I’m always open to new ideas!!!!

[dabibliophile]

TKO vs. BMJ Breakdown

Earlier I mentioned that Professor Venomous/Shadowy Figure had probably recorded the events of “You’re In Control” via the biochip. I went through the episode again to see what information could be useful to him.

-KO started going turbo shortly after Carol nearly gets crushed by the bodega sign. The Bodega being overwhelmed and Carol’s “power of friendship” speech being interrupted were also factors. (Threatening people KO cares about can trigger turbo mode.)

-T/KO presumably just… stood there for a bit while they talked in the mindscape. I’m not sure how mindscape time translates to real time, but it was likely only a few real moments.

(The static suggests neither of them are aware of what’s happening outside the mindscape. KO’s transformation in “TKO” and his brief power-up in “Let’s Have a Stakeout!” also took some time. These few moments are a potential opening for a surprise attack.)

-After knocking BMJ back to Boxmore, TKO pursued him and continued fighting, rather than staying at the bodega and going about his day as is typical after a Boxmore Bot attack. (TKO wants revenge, rather than to simply eliminate the threat.)

-TKO got a powerup after eating some glorbs. (How effective is this in comparison to using a collar like Fink does?)

-Rad and Enid appeared as if they were about to fall into a pit of lava. From BMJ’s perspective, TKO either didn’t notice or didn’t care. (Prime material for emotional manipulation.)

-Dendy mentioned that she had been studying TKO and knows how to get KO fronting again. (Dendy is a potential source of information.)

-KO switched in after the “you are loved and appreciated” bit, which resulted in a distinctly non-turbonic explosion.

 (How does this blue energy compare to turbonic energy? Could it be used in a similar way?)

-KO used turbonic energy again, much more effectively this time. (Can Venomous still obtain KO’s turbonic energy if KO isn’t in turbo mode while using it?)

-KO finished the fight with some symbolic as hell power fists. (KO is more emotionally balanced now.)

BMJ unsurprisingly had the attention span of an infant, so he may have missed some of the above. Since he won’t be back for some time, if at all, Venomous will either have to get more information another way or act with what he has.

He’s already made a nuisance of himself twice as Shadowy Figure, so I’d say Carol and Gar have backup plans in case of emergency. Have Rad, Enid, and Dendy’s homes done the same? Since all three are low level, relatively unguarded, and knowledgeable about T/KO, at least one of them should be his next target.

Even if BMJ didn’t pick up the details of Dendy, Rad, and Enid’s conversation, Venomous would still likely notice they didn’t act until Dendy arrived, and conclude Dendy has the most information of the three. He’ll probably start snooping around her house to look for weak points.

Dendy and her parents don’t appear to be combat-oriented, and unless she has one hell of a security system it shouldn’t be too hard for Shadowy Figure to find a spot in her schedule where she’s alone, yank off her hackpack, and whisk her away.

Since Dendy has the rare Professor Venomous POW card, this puts her in a position to connect the dots and realize he’s also the spooky jerk who has been harassing her friend.

[nellynee]

(So I got a little behind on OK KO for a bit, and I had this in my drafts since before the Mr, Logic flashback episode. It’s been sitting around there since then, as I wanted to update this after catching up. BUT I’m actually forming a whole new thought thread based on what I’m seeing, so I’m posting this now as it was as a precursor to that. It’s a little outdated, but still holds a lot of relevant thoughts and I want to post it for reference.) 

Ok so like, I wrote like six paragraphs on why the whole Pow card system frustrates me and I don’t know if anyone else has come to this conclusion and I haven’t seen it, or if this is just obvious to everyone and I’m an idiot for pointing it out. But like wow (I’ll get to Boxman’s level in a second just let me set the stage as it were)

POW card level isn’t an indicator of power level, it’s a reflection of your career as a whole, completely independent from physical stats like strength and speed and such.  

I mean it makes total sense. Again, stop me if I’m just talking about the thing the fandom doesn’t talk about because it’s obvious but like....

On the scale we see (heros specifically)  0-1 (neutral parties, Hero’s who don’t put in a lot of active effort, new comers) 2-3 (those that are active, but repetitive in efforts. Don’t have many chances to prove significant jumps in heroism, the day to day heroes) 4-7 (young hero’s in official schooling systems who have more opportunity to prove themselves, and veterans with inactive careers, like Red Action and some of the older cast, 8-9 (those typically in this category are flashbacks, eventual bigshots who are still early in their career, see Laserblast) 10 and up (Veterans and big shots who are still extremely active)

(But “You’re level 100″ indicates that two level 5′s could beat a level 10 like it’s a power quantifier. I’m going with “K.O.’s idea, he’s a kid who doesn’t quite have it worked out, which is why no one else thought along those lines and indulged him. It worked, but there was no connection between the level and effectiveness, after Enid beat Elodie with skill alone, despite being a lower level, meaning it isn’t a one for one anyways)

We see POW card level being used as a badge of honor less as a means of “look how tough I am” and more “Look at everything I’ve DONE

after all, K.O. is less than 1, but we know for a fact he has a lot of hidden potential and power. So in this system, you could have low level hero’s who are extremely powerful, just inactive, or are still building their careers.

Shadowy Figure using his POW card as proof he’s trustworthy makes more sense. A powerful hero may be impressive, but if it’s an indicator of past deeds, then someone doing enough active good to be a level 8 is making good choices and is trustworthy

Outliers make more sense. Big Darrel, since he’s considered a separate entity level wise, exists only for a short amount of time and exclusively does bad deeds. With how Boxman bragged about Big Darrel’s level, I wouldn’t put it past him to have artificially inflated it to bust the Plaza’s moral. Hero and Galgarion as well. Hero doesn’t seem ridiculously OP for his level, and his increase comes from many small repetitive heroic actions, not actually getting stronger. It would make sense for two brothers to get into a POW level pissing contest for their initial disagreement as well.

Basically, level is bragging rights, the culmination of good vs bad deeds

I’ve got a lot more little details like that but the reason I’m bringing all this up here is Boxman’s Level, which has been the unexplained outlier for so long. He doesn’t seem to be the physical equivalent in power to Carol, who’s of the same level, and he gets no respect for his level despite being so high, and taken in the context as a career quantifier, that attitude towards him makes more sense now.

We get verbal confirmation in universe from Venomous that P.O.I.N.T. has significantly better resources than any of the villains. The indicated high grade villains also show a healthy fear of them, and “Villain’s night out” shows them as significantly outclassed. I’m not saying it for sure, but I wouldn’t put it past the current culture for P.O.I.N.T. to be purposefully stalling the villains out from a legislation standpoint. (edit side note: OH MY GOD The confirmation in Point to the Plaza that Point works like some sort of martial law and is a strong authoritarian presence of leadership in the culture of this world iS SO VALIDATING. I’ve been theorizing that POINT might be using “for your own good” mentalities to bully their views and how that might affect the general villainous populous FOREVER) The highest levels we see other than those that are grossly inflated (big Darrel, Galgarion) are Boxman, with the rest of them sitting pretty comfortably at 7′s and 8′s, several levels bellow most veteran hero’s

Boxman may be a much higher level than the rest of them, but he doesn’t play nice, doesn’t make an effort at teamwork for the greater evil agenda. Going solo, he doesn’t have much of a claim to regular impressive evil actions, his number one nemesis is a shopping center, his robots fail often (probably on the field after being sold too). He’s impulsive and hammy and doesn’t seem to plan things through. He’s probably seen as a one hit wonder has been at best, and at worst, a guy who got lucky once, got a very good level for it, and can’t recreate actual success. He gets little respect from other villains because he does nothing to cultivate respect from other villains. He’s not considered competent in part because of his rash temper causing mistakes yes, but also because he doesn’t fit in with conventional villain culture.

That being said, I absolutely believe in the #realness of his level

There is just to much evidence in favor of it

My personal first indicator was Boxman’s conversational tone in “Villain’s night Out” when discussing P.O.I.N.T.. His tone didn’t indicate bragging to me. it was less “Oh yeah I’m so tough POINT is out for me too” talk up, but more “Oh yeah jeeze, I can’t totally empathize and connect with you on this issue”. I chalked it up at the time to weird delivery, but my second watch through of the series it did make me more alert. Boxman’s internal robots, Mr. Logic, Earnesto, those meant for personal use and not exposed to the populace, are MUCH more competent than his heavy hitters. (edit: this was written before I watched “ok dendy let’s be ko”, but in a way this still stands. I do have thoughts about Ernesto on the field, which will come with the next big meta piece I have, but this is still relevant, trust me.) His acknowledgement of his personal flaws, working on them actively, but getting no where. His secret projects and the experimental nature of the random weapons and upgrades on his robots when he sends them out. His bursts of cruelty and hyper competence. The fact that Boxman is the only regular and discernible threat on the Plaza, and despite Garr being it’s overseer and a very competent one at that, Carol has apparently been placed by some organization (probably POINT) to make sure everything is under control…

Don’t get me wrong, I do think Boxman’s flaws are legit and not a rouse. He’s over focused on the Plaza, has trouble planning too far ahead, as a hair trigger temper and impulse control issues…

But I also think Boxman is hobbling himself.

*I think he did something big, something huge, or a had a series of larger victories. Started a name for himself. And POINT retaliated, HARD.

And being very much an all or nothing sort of attacker, being perfectly aware of his capabilities and flaws, Boxman may has been laying low since then. I think Boxman is 100% serious when he mentioned POINT always interfering in his plans to Venomous. Whether it’s a show of power, or more likely, financial crippling him in a way that he’s constantly pushing against, POINT has been keep an eye on him all this time and he knows it.*-(edit: again, I understand that this is in at least some small ways disproved by Lad and Logic, as we see that at that point, at the start of his obsession with the Plaza, Boxman has never openly attacked POINT, but is planning to, and we see the start and reasoning behind Boxmore industries. But I also feel that my reasoning still stands as well. also to be continued in my other meta post)

I think he’s crippling his robots on purpose, emotionally at least, to try and walk the fine line between the small destruction he craves and keep out of the limelight. I think he picked the Plaza as an easy place to test his experiments and make himself seem less competent with his goals to shake the heat and it got to real for him. I think he knows he’s only going to have one chance to make a big stand and he’s been working behind the scenes all this time. He’s been committing small time villainy to shake the trail off his bigger plans.

I think the show is sleeping on him, because he’s sleeping on him. He’s not ready to break his plans open yet.

I think part of Venomous’ reaction towards him in “We’re captured” and “Villain’s night out” were as much a hilarious evil boner as it was the realization that maybe Boxman’s past success wasn’t a fluke, that there’s competence enough to work with once you wade through all the ham that it might work. I think Venomous is just as bad as Boxman when it comes to classic hammy villain shenanigans, but has at least learned to fit in in modern Villain culture, and has realized that Boxman might be his one opportunity to go big or go home.

[ncfan-1]

Professor Venomous vs. Roller Skates

If there is skating, there will be falling.

[Also on AO3]

As is likely obvious, I based this fic on this post that Ryann Shannon made to her Twitter. 

----------------------------

The list of demands had been Cosma’s idea. She occasionally had to mind her nieces for long periods of time and had found that small children responded better to having to do their chores if they were allowed to make certain demands after long enough periods of compliance. “Just be careful you spell out anything she’s not allowed to demand ahead of time. The little monsters get very unruly if they think you’ve been acting in bad faith.”

Spelling out all of the things Fink wasn’t allowed to demand had been easy—or so Professor Venomous over-confidently, he realized now, had thought. She wasn’t allowed to demand any of the foods she was allergic to, especially not shellfish (No matter how much she begged, especially considering they’d found out she was allergic to it the hard way). She wasn’t allowed to conduct an experiment in the lab unsupervised; it was going to be a few years before Fink had the kind of fine motor control that would suffer allowing her to handle some of the more delicate materials or equipment. And by no means were they ever going back to the zoo, not since that time one of the zookeepers had taken Fink for an escaped zoo animal and tried to shoot her with a tranq dart.

Venomous had instituted the list of demands a few months ago, and so far, all had gone well. If Fink did her chores, then every other weekend she was allowed to write her latest demand on the list pinned on the front of the fridge by some of the refrigerator magnets they’d picked up the last time they were in the airport. She never really demanded anything too outlandish or beyond his ability to provide. Some of it had been, dare he say it, fun. (Vandalizing that billboard in sight of P.O.I.N.T. Headquarters had been very fun.) But today?

“You… want to go roller skating,” Venomous said blankly.

Fink grinned, showing off a mouth full of big, sharp teeth. “Yes!” One of those teeth was loose, and she whistled a little when she talked.

Venomous looked at Fink. He looked at the list, then stared around the kitchen and living room of their condo, then back to Fink. “You don’t own any roller skates,” he pointed out. “And if I get you roller skates, you’ll just outgrow them in a few months.”

“I didn’t say I wanted to go buy roller skates, Boss!” Fink protested. She puffed out her cheeks, eyes narrowed slightly. “I said I wanted to go to the skating rink!”

The skating rink. Try as he might, Venomous couldn’t quite help but twitch a little at the thought of it. Not being able to let things go was, to a certain extent, just part of being a villain, but there were some things he’d probably do better to let go of. This particular thing would be easier to let go of if he simply stayed away from any and all roller skating establishments.

“I honestly don’t know where to find any skating rinks,” Venomous tried. And it was the truth. The local skating rink when he was growing up had moved to another location about ten years ago. Not being the kind of person who frequented  skating rinks, and not being the kind of villain who targeted them, Venomous had never bothered to find out where the new location was.

But Fink was not to be deterred by such a thing. “I got you covered, Boss!” She whipped out her phone, typed something on it and held it out to him, grinning. “See?”

Too late, Venomous remembered that Fink’s phone had a map app on it. She’d already taken the liberty of plotting their course; the skating rink was seven miles northwest of the condo, fifteen minutes by car in present traffic. That close, huh?

For a moment, Venomous considered telling her to think of something else to do today. He considered making up some story about why they couldn’t go to the skating rink, something involving an old arch-nemesis and a run-in with the cops. But Fink had gotten to the point where she could pretty much always tell when he was lying. Cosma’s horror stories about what her nieces did when they got “unruly” loomed in the back of his mind. And most importantly, there was the bright-eyed look of anticipation on Fink’s face…

“Alright,” he conceded. “Let’s be ready to go in half an hour.”

…that Venomous couldn’t quite bring himself to mar with disappointment. Heh, that probably had something to do with why he was a Level -7 and not a Level -10 or lower. Oh, well. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Around forty-five minutes later, Venomous was looking at the front of the skating rink through the car windshield, and already a sense of foreboding was building within him. He couldn’t really pinpoint the source. The sun was shining; what few clouds were in the sky were thin and white, rather than gray and stormy. Nothing about the building screamed “obvious trap for villains looking to go roller skating.” But still, he was getting the same feeling he’d gotten the last time he ordered a robot from Boxmore, right before the blasted thing had fallen apart after that first hit.

There weren’t as many cars in the parking lot as he had been afraid there would be. Less people meant less chances of a meddlesome hero deciding that a villainous bioengineer and his evil minion just weren’t allowed to do normal, non-villainous things in their free time. But the fact that there were less people here than he’d expected, on a weekend of all times, might be commentary on the quality of the rink itself.

And then there was the sign.

“Come on!” Fink ran out ahead of him, stopping by the black-tinted glass doors as Venomous walked at a more sedate pace behind her, staring up at the sign all the while.

‘STARDUST’ was spelled out in big, bold Plexiglas letters. The interior of the glass was coated in silvery-blue glitter which sparkled in the daytime sun. An image of a silver disco ball shimmered just below the sign.

Well, maybe it was just a holdover from the last location.

And maybe it wasn’t.

He’d been unable to hear it from outside, but once they walked inside the rink Venomous heard clearly the music blaring over the speakers. Upbeat synth-pop that he was pretty sure he’d heard over the radio or in a club sometime around twenty years ago, just a little too loud for comfort.

The next thing Venomous was struck by after he took in the music was how dark it was. The light levels would have been more appropriate for a night club where the goal was to never get too good of a look at the person you were dancing with. For a skating rink where the presence of small children was presumably not only expected but accepted, it seemed a bit… dim.

Then there were the lights over the rink itself.

It was easy to pick out the rink. Located in a massive depression in the center of the building, surrounded by guardrails (that were spaced so that an enterprising child—say about Fink’s size—could have crawled under the lowest rung, Venomous couldn’t help but notice) and accessible only by stair, it’s not like anyone could miss it. Situated at multiple points over the rink were colored spotlights that glowed dimly on the polished, gleaming wood floor. They shone the full range of the color spectrum, slowly shifting from one end to the other. And over the center of the rink, there dangled a gigantic disco ball, from which shot beams of silver light.

Disco. Venomous glared up at the disco ball. This place just had to be disco-themed.

“Boss?” Fink tugged on his hand and pointed impatiently at a desk off to the side of the rink, near a massive display rack full of sheets and safety equipment, and a row of lockers. “Check-in’s over there.”

“Alright, alright!” In spite of recent unpleasant revelations, he could still laugh. “It’s not like it’s going to grow legs and run away!”

Manning the check-in desk was a teenager who, to put it mildly, looked bored out of his skull. Boredom wasn’t on the list of things Venomous typically associated with a skating rink, but he supposed that if you came in here every day, it was bound to lose its novelty sooner or later. The teen was dressed in clothes that Venomous could only describe as a mash-up of a disco dance floor reject pile and 80s workout clothes. Sweatband and knee-high leg warmers and long, tasseled fringe and far too much polyester. Workplace uniform, Venomous supposed. Hoped.

“Welcome to Stardust Skating Sanctuary,” the teen intoned in what was honestly the most unenthusiastic tone of voice Venomous had heard since the last time he’d snuck into Gar’s bodega in disguise. Just like the cashier in the bodega, he was busy typing away on his phone, not even looking up. “How may I help you?”

“How much does it cost to rent out a pair of children’s skates?”

Without looking up, the teen pointed backwards at a sign behind him, which read “UNDER 12—10 TECHNOS. 12 OR OLDER—15 TECHNOS.” “Linda at the skates will help you get set up,” he droned, busily typing on his phone.

Without further ado, Fink headed over to the skates rack, where a woman with four eyes and six arms was waiting with a child’s foot measuring device. For a moment, Venomous considered being offended by the cashier’s visible disinterest in paying customers, but he decided to just drop it. If he had to dress like that for work every day, he’d be done with everything, too.

Venomous handed the teen his credit card and waited, staring around the rink. At the back on the left-hand side, there were a few arcade cabinets. A trio of preteens were hanging around them, two of them squaring off at a dance machine while the third looked on. At the center of the back there was a sign for the restrooms. On the right-hand side, there was a small food court with tables set up in front of it; the aroma of fresh pizza wafted over to the check-in desk. Venomous let out a quietly relieved breath. At least there’d be somewhere for him to sit and wait while Fink was skating.

“Sir?” When Venomous turned his attention back to the teen, the latter was frowning at Fink, who was still looking for skates her size while Linda helped. “If your daughter is under four feet tall, you must accompany her into the rink.”

“Fink’s not my daughter; she’s my minion,” Venomous replied automatically. Like that would help him now.

The teen opened and shut his mouth like a fish stranded on dry land. When he found his voice again, he fixed Venomous in a flat stare and told him, “If your minion is under four feet tall, you have to accompany her into the rink,” like he had already had to explain this to far too many people. “Otherwise, she can’t skate. House rules.”

He pointed off towards the rink. When Venomous saw what he was pointing at, it was all he could do not to slap his forehead in dismay.

Off by one of the stairways down into the rink, there was a cardboard cutout. The character was decked out in inline skates, helmet, knee and elbow pads, and the sort of one-piece exercise suit that should have died with the 80s. Totally without explanation, it was a badger. It was holding its right hand about four feet off the ground, and a sign next to it read, “Boris the Badger says you must be this tall to skate by yourself. If not, ask your parents to join you!”

Venomous’s gut reaction was to refuse. He knew he’d have to put on skates to go into the rink; by no means would they make him do that. Never again. Venomous didn’t like making a complete fool out of himself in public any more than the next person.

But he’d already promised Fink that she could skate. Going back on his word now would be setting one heck of a bad example for her. Villains could double-cross their enemies any day of the week; that wasn’t just acceptable, but expected (Though if your enemy happened to be powerful or influential, perhaps not the best idea). However, villains—especially very young and inexperienced ones—really shouldn’t get the impression that double-crossing their allies was a good idea, especially not over something so trivial. Villains, real villains who didn’t traffic in things like moral ambiguity, tended to have limited social circles. You needed to be careful about just what you did with your social capital.

Of course, the chances of Fink, young as she was, doing anything but scrunching her face up in confusion if he spoke to her about ‘social capital,’ were close to nil, but the principle stood. Venomous really did slap his forehead this time. “Alright,” he muttered. “One child and one adult.”

By the time Venomous made his way over to the fitting area for skates, Fink appeared to be almost done finding something that fit her. They were down to two pairs of skates.

One of which was inline.

“Not the inline,” he vetoed, before Fink could say anything. “They’re too difficult to balance on. You’ll fall.”

Fink’s red eyes opened wide in indignation. “I will not!”

“You’ve never worn skates before. The inline skates are too advanced for you. You’re not wearing them.”

Fink stuck her tongue out at him, but grabbed the quad skates and went to wait on a bench by the rink, back turned to him.

“Do you have men’s quad skates in a size 10?” Venomous asked Linda. “I’m not picky about the color.”

Linda nodded. “That shouldn’t be a problem. Oh, sir? Is your daughter—“

“She’s my minion, not my daughter.”

Linda glared at him with all four eyes. “If your minion is less than seven years old, she’ll have to wear a helmet. Is she less than seven years old?”

Venomous had designed Fink to have stronger bones than nearly anyone she would ever encounter; the only reason they weren’t stronger was because his research suggested that that could lead to… problems. The likelihood of Fink ever winding up with broken bones or a skull fracture was close to zero. However, her soft tissue and internal organs were no sturdier than the average, healthy human’s. Going out on the rink without a helmet could still end poorly for her.

He weighed all that against one very important caveat: Fink’s ears. The helmet didn’t have any holes, so Fink’s ears would be completely covered, and she wouldn’t be able to hear a thing. There was also a risk of damage to her ears if they were pressed flat against her head for too long.

“She’s older than seven,” Venomous lied, and decided they’d just have to take their chances. He could stop her from taking a serious fall without much difficulty.

Linda looked less than convinced, but rather than trying to argue the point, she held out a key on a hot pink spiral bracelet. “Here is the key to a locker, so you won’t have to leave your shoes or any of your valuables out in the open. Now, if you’ll come with me, I think we can find skates for you…”

A short while later, Venomous had his skates (hot pink, again) and went over to where Fink was waiting. Well, sulking would be a better word for it. She glowered up at him when he approached. “I could’ve done it,” Fink groused, crossing her arms over her chest.

“If you do alright with the quad skates and we ever come back here, I’ll let you try them then. For now, you need to start off with something more stable.”

To show just how little she thought of that, Fink made what was, honestly, an impressively grotesque face. Venomous had seen corpses still trapped in a death rictus that were more pleasant to look at than that.

He smiled slightly. “Keep it up. Your face might stick that way.”

Fink beamed, anger apparently forgotten. “You think so?”

“Anything’s possible.”

Since another rule was that skates were not to be worn outside of the rink itself, they took their skates down into said rink. There were about thirty people using it, a near-even mix of children and adults, but the rink was large enough that it was fairly easy to find a quiet spot to sit down and get their skates on.

These are stiff, Venomous thought to himself as he struggled to get his skates on and laced. Apparently this particular pair of skates hadn’t been worn that often. That seemed a bit unlikely, considering there had only been ten pairs of skates in his size to start with, but perhaps they were new.

A faint odor of sweat clung to the cool air here, accompanied by shoe leather and a very weak pine-scented air freshener. Venomous wasn’t entirely sure how that was even possible, but the music was even louder here than it had been up above, so loud that it was making his teeth chatter. He spared a concerned glance for Fink—her hearing was much keener than the average human’s, after all—but inexplicably, she seemed unbothered. I suppose I should have her ears examined the next time we go to the doctor’s, he thought wryly.

Most of the rink was lined with a guardrail that, Venomous supposed (and hoped it was strong enough to serve the purpose), was meant to aid fallen skaters in getting back up. The only place with a break in the guardrails, asides from the access points at the stairways, was almost directly across from where he and Fink were sitting.

Painted on the wall, there was a smiling tiger dressed much the same as ‘Boris’ upstairs. Off to its left, a large sign read:

TAMMY THE TIGER SAYS SAFETY ROCKS!

Tammy’s Safety Rules:

No shouting No fighting No pushing or shoving No biting or clawing No food or drinks on the rink No use of superpowers No duels to the death No weapons ESPECIALLY no ray guns No gum

Stardust Skating Sanctuary is designated neutral territory for heroes and villains, as well as assorted sidekicks, apprentices, minions, henchmen, and robotic servants. So everyone remember to get along and have fun!

Neutral territory? Well, at least that minimized the chances of some trigger-happy hero or their trigger-happy sidekick to take a potshot at them. Venomous tapped Fink’s shoulder and pointed out the sign. “Have you read the safety rules yet?”

When Fink got to the end of the sign, she made another face, though this one looked more like she’d swallowed a lemon than done an impression of a death rictus. “Oh, not that again! So we can’t mess with any heroes even if they’re hogging the rink?!”

“Not unless you want to get kicked out—and never let back in.” Venomous smiled thinly down at her. However, if a hero tries to hassle you, I’ll hardly be angry if you give them what they gave you, and twice again.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Boss, I will,” Fink assured him.

All too soon, the moment of truth arrived. Venomous got to his feet, slowly, very slowly, clutching the guardrail in a death grip. He put as much weight as possible on his feet, willing them not to roll out from under him. Suddenly, he was finding himself inundated with a flood of memories from earlier years, none of them entirely pleasant. Ever so slowly, he began to remove his hand from the rail.

Fink, on the other hand, pushed off of the wall with all the confidence of someone who had no doubt of her success. She whirled around on her skates, cackling like someone who was plotting to take the world hostage with a doomsday weapon (One day. One day). “What were you worried about? This is easy! See me—oof!”

Of course she had fallen over. Planted face-first onto the flood, to be precise. Whoever was in charge of things upstairs loved punishing people for overconfidence, especially if they were villains. But before Venomous could even try to make his way over to her, she was right back up again, undaunted, and rocketing around on the skates.

I wonder if she even knows how to brake. But still, he smiled a little. Now, to let go of the guardrail…

He took a few tentative strides forward on the skates, careful not to stray too far from the rail. The floor must have been waxed just that morning; Venomous could see his face reflected there all too clearly, furrowed brow and clenched jaw. It was entirely too slick for his liking; every time he moved forwards, it was like trying to walk down a sidewalk coated in ice without falling over.

Venomous bit back a frustrated growl and moved away from the rail. He could walk around in go-go boots all day without a problem; why should roller skates (quad skates, too, not inline) be any different?

His first thought, after a few hesitant strokes, was that this wasn’t so bad. Certainly, it was beer than the last time, though that was hardly an achievement to applaud. With only a few minor hiccups, he could keep his balance without much trouble—this rink was level, and that certainly helped. He wasn’t going very fast—not like Fink, who was currently racing (as much as her short legs allowed) around the rink, with the other skaters scooting out of her way. Going that fast wasn’t the name of the game. Staying upright was.

This… wasn’t so bad. It was never going to be good, per se, but it wasn’t so bad.

His ankles wobbled ominously.

History taught a lesson that still held true in present day: once his ankles began to wobble, it was all over. He was not going to regain control, was not miraculously going to find himself steady again. It was all downhill from here. Still, Venomous tried to steady himself. Tried to stop, in vain.

Why did the ground always rush up to meet him so quickly, so hard? Venomous knew how the laws of gravity and inertia worked; he had paid attention in high school science classes. Still, it didn’t seem quite fair that the landing should be so unforgiving. At least he had landed flat on his back instead of landing on his face or his leg.

“You okay?” Fink called from the other side of the rink.

Venomous waved a hand weakly in her general direction. The light above shone blue, then purple, then black. “I’m fine.” The music seemed even louder than before; he nearly had to shout to hear himself over it. “Just keep on doing what you’re doing.” The silver disco ball was just barely in his field of vision. He scowled up at it, as though it was responsible for his fall.

The skates were not going to beat him. If he had to wear them, he would master them. If he could bioengineer a person like Fink, he could roller skate. Small children could do it; it only stood to reason that he could, too.

The second fall came maybe three minutes after the first.

The third fall came around thirty seconds after the second. Thrusting his arm out in front of his face was the only thing that kept Venomous from face-planting right onto the gleaming floor. This time, he didn’t get up. He really couldn’t be bothered. He just stayed where he was, lying face-down on the floor, his bones vibrating roughly in time to the music.

Before he could spend too much time enjoying his new career as a man-shaped roadblock, Fink skated over to him. Venomous could feel her poke his back cautiously. “Boss? You okay?”

“I’m dying,” he moaned.

A few more pokes followed that, more insistent. “You’re not dying,” Fink retorted. She prodded between his shoulder blades with her fingertips. “You just fell over!”

“I’m dying,” he insisted, struggling to keep laughter out of his voice and instead adopt a suitably morose tone. “Avenge me, Fink.”

“On what?” She jabbed her finger into his back. “The floor?”

Fink began to poke his back incessantly, until maintaining the ruse would have just been completely ridiculous, and, not without some reluctance, Venomous sat back up. He brushed his hair out of his face and grimaced down at her. Fink regarded him with a deliberately neutral look on her face, before that neutral look broke into a grin and she began poking his chest, hard.

Venomous batted her hand away. “Alright! Have some mercy on your creator; I’ve never taken to this as well as you have.”

Fink mimed at poking him one last time, but pulled her hand away, that grin still affixed to her face. “Have you ever been here before, Boss?”

He shook his head. “Can’t say that I have.”

It wasn’t a lie. The local rink had only been in this location for around ten years, after all. He’d never set foot in this building before today. It was good that he didn’t have to lie to her. Fink would have been able to tell, and there were some things he wasn’t ready to explain to her. When she was older, perhaps, but not now, when she still possessed a child’s black-and-white understanding of the world.

Mercifully, Fink didn’t pick up on any evasion of his. She merely raised an eyebrow and asked, “So I guess you can’t skate that great, huh?”

“I’m afraid not.” Leave aside the fact that if you wanted to learn to roller skate, there were more places to do it than just the skating rink. You didn’t often see an adult learning to roller skate on a sidewalk; outside of sports competitions and skating rinks, you didn’t often see an adult roller skating, period.

Fink regarded him in silence for a moment, before breaking into another grin. “I can show you how!”

Venomous tilted his head downwards and stared dubiously at her. “Says the girl who’s been roller skating for all of fifteen minutes.”

“I can!” Fink insisted, putting her hands on her hips. “You’re always telling me we gotta try new things.  Just trust me.”

And she’d said it. There went the death knell of any chance Venomous had of just sitting this one out, clanging so loudly that suddenly the music didn’t seem so loud after all. It was not use that the ‘gotta try new things’ Fink referred to had much more to do with trying to get her to eat foods she was unfamiliar with than with anything else. With little to no confidence of his ability to stay upright, he got back to his feet. Oh, well. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. At least no one he knew happened to be at the rink today to watch him fail repeatedly.

Fink grabbed his hand in her own and set off down the length of the rink. “See?” She laughed. “It’s easy once you get the hang of it!”

It really wasn’t, but it was hardly going to hurt him to just let her have this. It wasn’t always the kid who needed to learn new things.

----------------------------------

Trying to guess how Professor Venomous and Fink would act on a “day off” was a little bit of a process. Venomous spent most of ‘We’re Captured’ in a state of deep irritation, and wasn’t exactly happy for most of ‘Villain’s Night Out’ either; his appearances in ‘Villain’s Night In’ and ‘Boxmore Infomercial’ were basically just cameos. How does he act when he isn’t irritated, when he isn’t around heroes or other villains, when it’s his “day off”, I asked myself. The answer: “…Like a dad. A dad who also happens to a villainous bioengineer.” Until we get more insight into his relationship with Fink, I stand by this.

As for Fink, I figure that she’s probably still rambunctious, but at least a bit better-behaved when she isn’t around people she hates.

[milothebastardman]

Normal

Lord Boxman sighed heavily as he looked outside, a rather weary expression on his face. He was a man with a very dark, brooding nature, and he needed the weather to match that nature! All the sunshine gave him migraines, and the happy little clouds did nothing to block it out at all. No, he preferred stormy days! The lovely ambient noise of rain on the metal roofing of the Boxmore building... All that pesky sunlight blocked out by dark, menacing clouds... No migraines, no trouble sleeping, nothing. Storms brought peace and quiet, even if they meant his precious children had to stay inside.

So the day didn't have the best start necessarily, but that was normal. Lord Boxman was the bad guy, after all, and it wasn't often that the villain in any story got any sort of victory. That didn't mean he liked it, though. Some villains were more than content to be on the losing side, to even be carted off to their local prison in some cases, but that had never been Lord Boxman. He was one of few villains to actually ever taste the sweet ambrosia that was victory, and by god was he addicted to it! So he worked every day, non-stop, the same tired routine getting the same tired results for the most part.

Anybody else who dealt with semi-competent children and near constant failure on a daily basis would have given up a very long time ago. They would've packed up their stuff and went home, but that had never been an option for Lord Boxman. The only home he'd ever had was the Boxmore company building, amongst his infuriating creations. So there he was to remain, toiling relentlessly, perhaps eternally, in a vain attempt to feel victory in his grasp once more. While he'd never give up, he was human even with his cybernetics. He needed time to decompress, time to simply be able to breathe and exist without having to be in the middle of some grand plot.

So, being the genius he was, he built a very special device. It didn't have a name just yet, but it was perhaps the greatest invention (besides his children of course) he'd ever had the pleasure to make. A plain and unassuming black watch on his right wrist, but with a lovely twist! This watch not only told the time down to the millisecond, it also had the ability to reassemble matter itself! Without getting into the extremely boring science of the accessory, it had the ability to shapeshift Lord Boxman's physical form. He could now take the form of anyone he wanted to, or make a whole new form if he wished! It was fairly easy programming the character creation option, and even easier using the program to make his brand new, inconspicuous identity.

His name was Jeremy Lovegood, a very unassuming sounding name to the evil cyborg. The physical form was simple enough, dark brown hair with hazel eyes, lightly tanned skin, and of medium build. Not particularly muscular, but not particularly large either. A completely average looking man, the sort who didn't require cybernetics or possess a chicken arm. The kind of man who would blend easily into a crowd and be forgotten moments after being seen. In short, it was the perfect disguise for Lord Boxman to take on. He switched through the options on the watch, grinning at his new self in the mirror when he saw a rather boring looking man looking back.

Now to experience the world as the normal people did, he thought to himself, pulling on the most normal clothes he could think of. As it turned out, that happened to be a plain red t-shirt, black jeans, a funky pair of green and orange socks, and regular old tennis shoes. Jeremy slipped out the Boxmore building, managing to stay in the shadows for a couple blocks before he let himself out into the sunlight. Nobody gasped or stared in horror at the sight of him, nobody pointed or covered the eyes of their children. In fact, nobody seemed to notice him at all! Jeremy felt glee coursing through his veins as he strolled down the street, his hazel eyes catching sight of Gar's Bodega.

He couldn't help but smirk as he changed paths, heading towards the plaza without drawing a crowd. He was able to walk inside, the little bell ringing above his head as he did. The girl at the counter barely glanced up from her magazine as she greeted him. The alien stocker, who was in the middle of telling KO a story, didn't even hesitate at the sight of him. In fact, he was ignored entirely! Jeremy enjoyed his brief visit to the shop, and actually ended up stealing a keychain as a sort of keepsake. The moment he got back to Boxmore, he switched the disguise off. This had merely been a trial run, he told himself.

What kind of villain would he be if he just let this technology be used for a simple walk in the park? No, he would gather data on his worst enemies by using this handy device, and strike when they least expected it...

That was the original plan, at least. As Lord Boxman used the device more often, the plaza workers found that they received fewer visits from the eccentric villain. Not that they were complaining, of course! Enid loved having more time to not care, and Rad had all the time in the world now to tell KO about his home planet since he wasn't stuck cleaning up plaster and paint chips all the time.

In fact, the only one who seemed to miss Lord Boxman was KO himself. How was he supposed to become a hero if he didn't get to fight a villain? And, in true KO fashion, he couldn't help but feel worried. He wasn't sure if it was because Lord Boxman could possibly be planning something big, or if he was worried because Lord Boxman could have finally done himself in. He didn't mention this in front of the others though, not even to his mommy. This was one of few ideas he kept in his head.

Meanwhile, positively oblivious to KO's internal struggle, Lord Boxman thoroughly enjoyed his secret life as Jeremy Lovegood. He was actually able to feel the rain on his skin without worrying over something not drying properly and rusting! He could take walks whenever work had him stressed, actual walks there were outside with a breeze and flowers to smell. He was no longer confined to the Boxmore halls and offices, no longer stuck inside with nothing to do besides make plans that were doomed to fail. It was refreshing, yet it also made him realize just how little he'd ever experienced in life.

Ever since the accident that turned him into the cyborg he was now, he'd been a recluse. It was just easier to sulk inside and hide himself away from the world than it was to see the pitying stares, hear the hushed whispers of embarrassed mothers with children who asked questions far too loudly. Even though his body accepted the cybernetics, he still flinched when he saw his reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was difficult, to say the least, to be at peace with his new body. The doctors had done multiple skin grafts on his face, the part of his body that was most visibly damaged, yet still salvageable, by the fire. Still, they ended up having to custom design cybernetics to fit over the horribly scarred skin.

He'd been so naive to think that the cybernetics would make anything better. Before them, people had only stared out of morbid curiosity, pity, or slight fear in the case of younger children. Now with the cybernetics covering a third of his face, people actually screamed when they saw him. Lord Boxman was looked at as though he were a villain far before he actually turned to villainy. It had been out of sheer desperation, honestly. What sort of upstanding company would want to hire a man so disfigured, so dastardly appearing as he? So one night, teetering somewhere between behind on rent and eviction, he robbed a local grocery store.

Surprisingly enough, it had gone off without a hitch. Nobody was hurt, he never got caught, and his rent was paid for the past month, the current month, and even the next month. It hadn't been the money that had drawn Lord Boxman in, though. It had been that exhilarating rush he felt as he brandished a homemade laser gun, snarling at some terrified, underpaid cashier to hand over everything in the register, hurriedly stuffing money and various foodstuffs into a couple of large bags. The shakiness in his hands wasn't from his own fear or nervousness, no, it had been from the sheer excitement he'd felt the moment he stepped inside the dimly lit building.

It was that high that had brought him back time and time again, not to that exact store of course, but to crime in general. He slowly stopped paying for things that weren't rent and started using his appearance to his advantage. People typically made a big deal out of avoiding his gaze, so if a few cans of food went missing while he was shopping... Well, that was merely a coincidence, wasn't it? After a solid year of committing robberies and petty crimes, he was able to purchase a plot of land across from one of his old haunts. He built the Boxmore building on his own, sweat, blood, and more than a few tears going into every inch of metal.

Soon Boxmore stood proud and tall, dark metal glinting harshly in the sunlight he so despised. It wasn't long after that that he began the production of his first robot line, the 925 model that he came to affectionately call Ernesto. After a few weeks of little to no orders trickling in, there was a sudden shift, an increase that was so monumental that the villain was moved to tears. Someone who only identified themselves as Professor had ordered 1,000 of the units to be made and shipped to their address. For the next couple weeks, Lord Boxman was in a state of mania as he filled the tall order. The Ernestos were carefully packaged and sent off to the address he'd been given, a very nervous cyborg eagerly awaiting some sort of response.

This came in the form of another order for more Ernestos, and soon Lord Boxman was up to his eyeballs in orders, new robot designs, and machinery blueprints so that he might speed up the overall process. After that initial month of hell (what else would you call a week of nothing followed by three weeks of frenzied building?), he'd not only filled the initial order, but he'd also gotten a basic assembly line together. Ernestos were now built with the press of a few buttons, which freed up plenty of time for the villain turned business man to go about making new robots. Sara was his next design, a very simple explosive that could be lobbed at enemies from a distance. They were a hit with other villains and soon became available for purchase by the hundreds.

Lord Boxman watched as his evil, robotic empire grew, his heart swelling with emotions he hadn't felt in quite some time as his name was flung to the far corners of the galaxy. Of course, this couldn't come without a price. Forget the taxes he had to pay on every sale, forget the cost of running his building, and the cost of new supplies for the robots. Those costs were nothing, they were mere pocket change to him now. No, the cost he felt most deeply wasn't of a financial nature. The cost that cut the deepest and made old pains flare up again came in the form of a young boy named KO.

The first time he'd seen the small child, he thought his heart would stop. His weathered, persistent heart that had seen him through the flames that had brought about his villainous life almost gave out at the sight of Carol's boy. Oh, he'd always hoped he would never see the little bastard that had helped ruin his life in the first place, but it was unavoidable. The child was always toddling along to his mother's dojo, even at the tender age of two. He slowly learned the duo's schedule, subconsciously planning around it so he wouldn't accidentally injure either of them. No, he decided one day, if they were ever hurt by his hand, it would be all according to the plan.

That was the day he leveled down from -4 to -5, a big accomplishment to most villains. While his children wished to celebrate by robbing an ice cream shop, Lord Boxman waved their ideas away and holed himself in his office. Several plans were started and ultimately scrapped, draft after draft being tossed away in the never-ending pursuit of perfection. As most big plans are, though, this one has been pushed aside so that more immediate issues could be taken care of. Like the construction of his newest child, Darrell.

He was his most complicated one yet, the AI much like that of a dorky, teenaged boy, but... He wasn't very physically strong, no matter what modifications he made to the coding. Lord Boxman prided himself on building only the toughest of robots, so this obviously couldn't fly! He spent months tweaking everything, and in the end, he finally resulted in the level -4 robot that he was proud to call son. The Darrell model found an odd success as an evil henchman/personal companion, many villains anonymously confessing in the online forums that they were quite attached to the cute robots. Of course, the idea that people could somehow find his creations "cute" was mildly revolting, seeing as those were basically his children! How dare these random internet strangers find his son cute!

This mild outrage was quickly gone as orders came flooding in for more Darrells, the money and prestige able to wipe out any weird thoughts of what these people were going to do with their own Darrells. People began demanding another model, one like the Darrell but female, and Lord Boxman was quick to begin designing his next daughter. Following in Darrell's organic structuring, the Shannon model was one with a teenaged AI. Delighted customers ordered Shannons, impressed both by her transformation abilities and by her rather brash, slightly spoiled personality. Personally, Lord Boxman couldn't blame them. While Shannons could be bratty and quite the handful, their devotion to Darrells and their owner was... Quaint.

Ah, then came the piece de resistance! The Raymond model, by far Lord Boxman's personal favorite. This robot was incredibly athletic, programmed with a special AI that was geared towards the more dadly villains. Raymond could shoot out puns like the best of them, along with basketballs, baseballs, footballs, soccer balls, and even tennis balls! His natural disposition towards puns and sports made him a cult classic amongst older male villains, and for reasons he didn't really understand, young villainesses and a few villains.

He'd long ago accepted that the villains who purchased robots that had AI complex enough to resemble organic teenagers and adult office workers were weird, so why not make a profit off that weirdness? Jethros, in sharp contrast to the Darrells, Shannons, and Raymonds, were stupidly simplistic. They rolled forward, they rolled backward. A nice starter robot for a new villain, but nothing else in the way of combat. Still, some villains found an unusual use in the Jethro's by adding on a cup holder and setting them to move forward, allowing the tiny bots to follow their owner around with their drinks so they had a free hand for more important things.

Then the beloved baby of the family came along; a small robot that Lord Boxman named Teagan. He was simple like Jethro, lacking in any real AI that the "realistic" robot models were programmed with. He could electrocute enemies, and that was really it. It seemed to be enough, though, because the Teagan models did quite well for themselves. After Teagan, he'd quit designing new robots. Sure, he would make occasional modifications for pre-existing ones, but he started focusing on his old plans once more. Lord Boxman had some experience with the bodega employees at this point and had a basic understanding of their personalities.

KO was the exception, of course. KO was the most determined of the three, a young boy with starry eyes and a distantly familiar ache to help those in need so he could become the very best hero to ever exist. The tiny child adored his friends and his mother, adored most people actually. He'd learned this from the hours he'd spent "gathering intel" while just browsing in Gar's Bodega. That was when the plan began formulating once more, festering and growing in the depths of his mind like a deadly disease. KO went on, blissfully unaware that his greatest enemy lurked in the next aisle over as he planned his untimely demise.

The details weren't there just yet, but a basic outline was quickly formulating in his head. He'd wait until KO took his break, or wait until he got out of school, wait until the little brat was alone and snatch him up! Oh, he thought, how interesting it would be to see how the most loved child would react under the care of someone as callous and unloving as he...

A few months passed as Jeremy Lovegood went about his normal, good guy life. He held the door open for people, made checking out easy on Enid by just using his (legally acquired) debit card, and always put things he decided not to buy back on their proper shelves.  Lord Boxman, though, seemed to be dead to the entire world. Orders were still shipped out accurately and on time, but even his closest clients couldn't know if the cyborg was still living. He'd gone off the radar entirely, faded from existence and from most minds as he pursued the life of an average man.

Oh, he still worked at his plan to kidnap KO, of course. He just... Didn't do it every day, like he'd thought he'd do. Still, he reminded himself, any progress was better than no progress. His children grew restless, Shannon whining about her joints getting rusty from a lack of fighting, Raymond complaining about a lack of sports pun opportunities being presented at home, and Darrell... Well, he was Darrell. He was concerned for Dad and his unhealthy obsession with his last invention. It took several threats of discontinuation before he was able to get the children to stop with their whining.

Still, Lord Boxman realized that he had to put his plan into action, and quite soon too. The dissent among his creations may have been quieted, but it was far from silenced. So he once more donned his disguise, slipping easily into the role of Jeremy Lovegood. Jeremy went for his last stroll as a normal man, bought his last pack of gum without getting screamed at, and sat down in the park for the final time. Birds chirped in their nests, children played with their friends, and flowers bloomed under the gentle, guiding light of the sun... It was a beautiful day, one where he should've been out enjoying it instead of softly grieving the loss of the normal life he'd only just started to lead.

But he wasn't Jeremy Lovegood. Sure, he could make himself look like Jeremy Lovegood, he could sound like Jeremy Lovegood, hell, he could even be nice like Jeremy Lovegood! Yet at the end of the day, he wasn't Jeremy Lovegood. He was Lord Boxman, the greatest villain to ever enter the world of business! He was the creator of several popular robots, the cyborg who was able to taste victory once in a blue moon! And he would be damned if he didn't taste it once more. So he went on his way to Gar's Bodega, his grief pushed away to make room for vengeance and spite.

Jeremy Lovegood saw KO taking the trash out. Jeremy Lovegood approached him. Jeremy Lovegood offered him a few tips on learning new power moves. Yes, it was Jeremy Lovegood who did these things, but it was Lord Boxman who knocked the child down with a swift kick to the head. The disguise was shut off, cybernetics glinting in the dying light of twilight. KO's eyes widened in shock, but before he could call out for help, he was falling into an inky darkness he'd never experienced before. Lord Boxman was able to haul the small hero back to his building easily, a sick, twisted grin on his face.

Oh, how sweet this would be! To watch as Carol scrambled to find her only child, to see as Gene became consumed with guilt... The only part Lord Boxman felt any real guilt for was the fact that Enid and Rad would be swept up into this. Truth be told, he had no real quarrel with them. They were just teenagers, after all, very much like his own robotic creations. It hadn't been their fault that the fire was set to cover the robber's tracks. It hadn't been their fault that Gene came too late to save them all. It hadn't been their fault that Carol was pregnant at the time, that her life and that of her unborn child were considered more important than his own.

They hadn't made that decision, Gene had. Gene had been the one to pull Carol from the wreckage, choosing to leave Boxman behind even as he cried out to him for help. Gene had been the one who couldn't even be bothered to visit him in the hospital afterward when he was left alone once more. No, Gene had done absolutely nothing for him, so now he would be the one left alone. He would be the one to feel like everything had been cruelly ripped from his grasp. He would feel loss, pain, betrayal, and everything else that Boxman had felt yet couldn't put a name to.

His creations gawked at him when he came through the living room, eyes wide and mouths silenced from the sight of the knocked out hero. Had he really done it..? They scampered after Lord Boxdad as he headed to an elevator. He keyed in a complicated password, and the elevator doors slid open quietly. Everyone crowded in, Darrell's elbow jabbing at Shannon's side while Raymond's shoulder spike almost took out Darrell's eye. The elevator began to descend, the unease building as the seconds ticked by. They were sure that the building didn't have that many floors, but they were apparently wrong.

The elevator finally dinged and released them from their metal, dimly lit prison, and the robots spilled out in a tangled mess after their father. The silence seemed to stretch on, unending, fatal silence as the cyborg strapped the boy into a chair. The robot teens looked around the bleak room, quietly confirming that no, I haven't ever seen this room before either. Finally, the silence was broken.

"Dad..?", Darrell asked softly, a noticeable tremor in his voice. Normally Shannon would make fun of him for that, but for once she allowed herself to cling onto her big brother as fear filled her circuits. Lord Boxman glanced over at his children, the grin slowly fading away as the reality of the situation hit home. He had really done it. He'd kidnapped the child of his greatest adversaries, brought him down to a part of the building that even the Ernestos didn't know about, and had him in his evil, inescapable clutches. There would be no friends bursting in to save the little guy, no Carol come to rescue him from trouble once more, and definitely no Gene to come play his usual paternal role to KO.

Now it was just KO, Lord Boxman, and his three most beloved creations....

So... What came next?