#type: catholic

[buddhistmusings]

Catholic folk saints have been made this way. Nobody let Frankie see this. St. Guinefort all over again. 😭

[tomicscomics]

11/22/2024

Governor? More like gover-NERD!

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus is arrested by Jewish priests who've become jealous of Him. The priests aren't allowed to kill Him since they're technically living under Roman rule and Roman laws, so they hand Him over to the local governor, Pontius Pilate, and tell him that Jesus claimed to be the king of the Jews. This, they hope, will make Pilate think Jesus is trying to start a rebellion against the Romans. Pilate questions Jesus in a pretty simple but dramatic interrogation, beginning by asking Him if He's really a king, to which Jesus replies that His kingdom is not of this world; if it were, His servants would be fighting to free Him. 2. In this cartoon, the first part of the comic sticks to the Bible story, but when Jesus mentions His servants fighting for Him, Pilate tries to clarify by asking, "So you have no servants to fight for you?" But Jesus wasn't saying He doesn't have servants; He was saying they aren't going to fight a physical war to free Him because His kingdom is not a physical one, nor can any physical kingdom hope to threaten it. As Jesus implies this, His actual servants -- the angels -- pester Him to let them beat up Pontius Pilate for Him, but He tells them to calm down since that's not part of the plan. 3. Gabriel (the angel with the blue cape) says, "Pontius Pilate? More like, 'I'm gonna PUNCH THIS Pilate!" PONTIUS is often pronounced PUNCHIS (at least where I'm from), which sounds a little like PUNCH THIS, so Gabriel is just making a play on Pilate's name and saying he's about to clock him if Jesus gives the go-ahead. 4. Michael (the militant soldier angel in the red cape) gives a declaration that sounds a lot like Matthew 8:8. In that verse, a Roman centurion begs for Jesus's help, saying, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word, and my daughter shall be healed." In Mass, we mirror this quote before receiving the Eucharist, except that "roof" refers to the roof of our mouths, since we're about to consume the Eucharist, and instead of "my daughter," we say "my soul." In this cartoon, Michael mirrors the Mass version of the quote, but ends it with "and his soul shall be BROUGHT TO HEEL (i.e. forced to submit)."

[catholic-paladin]

[heresylog]

My hamster peed on my Bible :( is he guilty of hampster heresy? Will the hamster pope have to excommunicate him? Is he going to hamster hell where there are never warm nests and no pumpkin seeds to eat?

It is the job of the adults in a child’s life to guide them on the path of goodness. You were negligent in your hamster’s catechism. Please get to a priest to confess this mortal sin.

[the-lady-of-the-cake]

op I swear to God-

Once upon a time, in the heart of a dark and rainy night, a creature appeared at an abbey, climbing through a window to into the room where the abbess was writing notes. It was a wretched beast, not quite human but neither did it resemble any animal that the abbess could name. It was dripping wet, with scarred skin and odd patches of thin, sparse fur, long cracked claws that scraped the stone floor, and sharp teeth so haphazardly scattered that it was hard to say whether there were two rows of teeth or one.

"What do you want, creature?" the abbess asked it calmly.

"I want to become a nun", the creature said. And there was no rule in the books that the abbess could remember that would prohibit a strange beast from becoming a nun, if it so desired. So, the beast was accepted into the abbey, and it took to life in the order as naturally as a shepherd dog to herding. She was a meticulous beast, first to wake and rise at dawn, neat and tidy with all tools and tasks she was given, dutiful and devout in all things.

No nun nor novice dared to question the creature's right to be there after the first time the she demonstrated that her teeth are not merely for decoration, and then apologised to the novice who had tried. The beast even graciously offered to mend the habit she had torn. After the incident, she was never bothered again. A handful of other postulants, novices and even a few of the nuns flocked to her, knowing that the creature would not allow anybody to be mistreated in her presence.

Watching the creature wolfishly lope across the abbey courtyard, with her ill-fitting, haphazardly placed cowl flopping as she went, the abbess contemplated the strange being. Despite of her sloppy, haphazard appearance, the beast really did have great potential to become a nun. A being so gentle and friendly could have done well just about anywhere, as would anyone so devout, but what made the creature such a good fit for monastic life was her love of routine. Waking up each morning at the same time, performing the same tasks and duties at the same time, the beast was not only tireless in her work, but actively delighted in regular routines. Which was why the abbey was such a good place for her, and she would one day make an excellent nun.

She was, without a doubt, a creature of habit.

[moethh]

haii i was wondering if y’all could pray for me ive been feeling pretty unsafe lately :-[ ty!

edit: actually perhaps add my friends in there too they’ve been feeling the same way

[floralcavern]

The fruit of knowledge

The fruit that Adam and Eve ate is almost always depicted as an apple, but why? It just feels.. eh. Like, ok, an apple. Whatever. You know what SHOULD be? Pomegranate. Pomegranate definitely has a history of being used to depict the underworld in some way (see Greek Mythology), and seeing as how eating the fruit means that humans now face death.. ya, it fits. Also, the fact that pomegranate is so hard to open can create this metaphorical picture of it was intentionally made that way by God to keep humans from eating it.

[forward-in-joy]

St. Angela founded the Company of St. Ursula on the feast of St. Catherine of Alexandria, November 25, 1535. She is considered our co-patroness along with St. Ursula.

Caravaggio, Saint Catherine of Alexandria, 1598

[eternalholygirl]

Because of your faith, It will happen.

Matthew 9:29

[babybluecurtains]

Actual footage of my mom telling me to clean my room as a child while I was contemplating the existence of God

[littlefloweroflisieux]

i adore my girlfriend so, so much. it baffles me to think that some would consider this love unholy and disgraceful towards God. i feel closer to the Creator now than ever before, because to love her, i have to love the One who knitted her in her mother's womb. i trace hymns across her skin, and every kiss is a new "amen." i love her so much, and i know a love as pure as ours could never be sinful.

[achillesreborn]

antidepressants worked too good, i've converted to Catholicism

[internetcatholicism]

I wish I knew what Our Lady's prayer life looked like before the Annunciation....

Was she contemplative? Was she used to God’s voice? Was she selfless, purely a servant to others through intercessory prayer? Would she sing to the Lord?

The Gospel describes her as pondering certain moments in her heart, like the prophecy of Simeon, the things Jesus said to her when she found Him in the temple...what were her prayers when she watched her Son die?

How did the most humble, most loving woman to ever live, the spouse of the Holy Spirit, think about God?

[porcelaingrrl2000]

Christ loves cupcakes*٭✟

[ourladyoflightleak]