#ty so much for sharing babe im crying of laughter

[erwinsvow]

that blurb was so real cause I’m anemic 😔 can imagine Rafe catching me every time I nearly faint I feel like he’d have dad reflexes

WAIT im anemic too! why are we twins

picturing rafe waiting on his bed when you come out of the shower finally, you went in about fifty minutes ago and he knows you use the hottest water possible. if you just did your everything shower and are all flushed and exhausted, when you come back he wants to tell at you for taking so long but you kind of stumble in.

he would immediately get to you but imagine you just fainted from the lack of water and exhausation omggg this man would be a messs esp if this is the first time. but then he'd slap your face and get you some cold water. can just imagine giggling and becoming awake.

"thanks rafey. can you slap me again? that really helped.."

"shut up kid."

and then after that imagine at the golf course or something if you had to follow him around in the sun and you hadn't really eaten all day AND you're on your period which is the worst for us anemic girlies.

"rafe..? are you done yet?"

"no. why?" and he looks next to him and you're tilting over. he'd grab you by your arm so quick to keep you upright (it leaves a bruise that you stare at for the next two weeks). top and kelce are like !!?? and her rafe's like 'it's because she doesn't take her fuckin' supplements."

i also feel like he's the type to force you to drink green juices WITH PULP since its good for iron and vitamins. he would drink it with you but he chugs and you're a sipper so you still have a whole glass when he's done.

whining like "rafe i cannot drink this. ew."

"drink it or i'll give you a real reason to pass out."

[cryinggameff]

Sixty Three

Cayden

I was in Jamaica working on a deal with some guys Sean had connected us with a while back. We had been doing small business with their niggas out in texas and we hadn’t had any real problems, other than the small feds issue but that was on our end, and it had been dealt with. My sources let me know people had stopped talking and the investigation was dropped. Randi was on on my ass to fix that one real quick, but i understood why.

Jamaica was beautiful though, i wished i was here to just chill, with my girl, not working. We’d spend the day on the beach, or in this big ass hotel room…fucking and everywhere. Most likely the second one. I promised myself to bring her some time.

Sean and Pat were both with me, and we were going to some meeting with the dude who was gonna supply shit. We were in our car on the way there.

“Like i told you, dude kinda crazy, so lets try and avoid any beef. I heard he be keeping niggas balls as torphies and shit,” Sean said, looking over from the drivers seat.

“I can respect that,” i chuckled. “Maybe imma start doing that, make yall niggas really fear me.”

“Thats some batty man shit,” Pat mumbled.

We pulled up to the building, which was some food place.

“They doing drug deals out of a restaurant?” I looked at Sean.

“Thats how it be here,” he shrugged. We walked in past the store front and inside there were lots of tables and plastic chairs. A group of people were gathered at the back near the register, two guys stood on either side of the table, body guards. They stepped up when we approached and my instinct was to be pissed off because the nigga knew i was coming but yet he had security in my face.

“He knows who i am,” i said simply. They looked back at their boss and then let us through. We sat down on the opposite side of the table.

“Sean, wa gwan my brotha?”

“Im chillin. Omarion, this my nigga Cayden. Cayden this the crazy dude Omarion,” Sean said. Omarion looked me over and i did the same.

“Texas right?” he said. I nodded. “You know i done business with yall in the past actually.”

“Word? When?” I asked. He leaned in, putting his hands on the table. He smirked in a way that really made me think he was crazy.

“Way back when, Red was running shit back then,” he said, tilting his head.

“That must have been a long time ago then,” i said nonchalantly.

“Shame what happened to him isn’t it?”

“Tragic,” i said. He burst into full blown laughter. I guess people really knew what had gone down. I smirked.

“I like your style Cayden,” he said. “This should be a good partnership. Lets get to the business then.”

“We got everything ready on our end. Just gotta see what we buying before we hand the money over.”

“Everything irie my brother, dont worry,  we got the best quality product. I got some coke and the weed for you to try, the rest will be here tomorrow when we do the drop,” he said, turning and nodding to one of his guys. The guy got up and went back to the kitchen then came back with a brick of coke and a bag of some rolled up blunts. He put them on the table. I opened the plastic wrapping and looked over the coke before passing it to Pat. I wasn’t about to try it because i knew i had a problem with the shit and Randi had threatened to leave me over it when we first got together. Doesn’t mean i wasn’t tempted though. Pat took a sniff while i lit the blunt. I knew the weed was gon be lit because everyone knew this was the place for the shit. I took a long pull.

“Damn,” i said, blowing out smoke. The guys chuckled and i took another drag.

“I told you my brother. So we good for tomorrow?” Omarion put his hand out. I nodded and shook his hand.

“We’ll see yall tomorrow,” i said, standing up. Pat and Sean stood up too.

When we got back to the hotel the first thing i did was face time Randi. It has only been 3 days but i missed her and i knew she was probably freaking out by now. She was clingy for a nigga. Her phone rang for a real long time before she finally picked up.

“Why the fuck it take you so long to pick up?” i asked, immediately wondering what she was doing. She moved the phone so i could see her face.

“Well i was sleeping,” she said, voice low. I could tell she had just woken up from her hair and her voice.

“You at the girls’ place?” I asked, not liking the idea of her being alone.

“No, they’re here, at the house, they watching a movie i think,” she said, brushing hair out of her face.

“You love watching movies, why you sleeping?” my brows came together.

“I was tired. Where are you?” She asked.

“My hotel room. Its real nice, youd love it here babe. Imma bring you one day.” She smiled.

“Okay,” she said, excited now.

“You look pretty,” i told her, looking at her messy hair and makeup around her eyes, i liked it.

“I literally just woke up, im pretty sure theres drool on my face,” she wiped her cheek.

“Nah. You look perfect.”

“I miss you,” she frowned.

“I know,” i said simply. She knew i was missing her the same if not more.

“Come home quickly, i need you…”

“Whats wrong?” I asked immediately. I already knew something must be up.

“Nothings wrong. I just love you and i wanna see you,” she said in a not so convincing voice but i let it go.

“I love you too. You gon be aight. Just a few more days. But you need to get out of bed and get outside. You even leave the house today?”

“Not really.”

“Get off your butt or im gonna send someone over there. Im gonna send Ty actually. He needs the key to my office anyway. You know where it is?”

“yeah i know,” she said. “Ill give it to him.”

There was banging on my door then and i lookd over. Sean and Pat stormed in and were making all kinds of noise.

“Nigga we going out,” Sean said. Pat grabbed my phone from my hand.

“Hey Randi. Cayden has to go now,” he said.

“Okay. Bring him back in one piece please,” she said.

“I promise,” he said.

“Okay, go play with you friends. I’ll talk to you later,” she said to me.

“Bye baby,” i yelled. Pat hung up and i sent him a mug.

“Dawg you not staying in this room. Grab yo shit we going,” he said. I groaned but got up. It would be a shame to leave jamaica without partying.

Randi

The last few days were very strange for me. I would go to sleep and when i first woke up id forget about the whole being pregnant thing, then after a few minutes as i really woke up and started my day id remember and be momentarily terrified. I mean i was terrified the rest of the day too because i still had no idea how i felt other than scared and i couldn’t even share it with anybody because Cay didnt know and wasn’t here. China and Jada were staying here right now and, though Jada sort of knew, i hadnt confirmed anything after the positive test, i couldn’t talk to them about it.  The crazy thing is that i was actually scared to the core to tell him. I couldn’t rationalize why on earth id be scared. That morning when i woke up i decided to call Dr. Williams office to see if she had an opening, and she did. So instead of going to the salon first thing like i usually did, i went there.  

She looked like she was ready to pop. Seeing her so sure and confident in her pregnancy and clearly over joyed about the prospect of having a child, i couldn’t control myself, i spilled the news because i had to talk to someone.

“Thats definitely some news,” she said, giving me a soft smile.

“It feels weird saying it out loud,” i said, running my hand up and down my thighs.

“This is the first time you’ve told anybody?” She asked, surprised. I nodded. “So Cayden doesn’t know then.”

“No,” i said in a guilty tone. “I found out at a bad time, he was leaving for work and i didn’t wanna make him worry or feel like he had to stay, so i kept it to myself,” i said.

“That sounds pretty stressful on you, dealing with it all on your own,” she said sympathetically. I nodded, biting my lip. “How are you feeling about it, whats been going through your head?”

“I dont think im feeling the things im supposed to be feeling,” i explained.

“You dont have to feel a specific way, you’re allowed to feel your own emotions. You can always say the truth here,” she tilted her head to the side.

“But i don’t want something to be wrong with me,” i said.

“Why would something be wrong with you?” she wrote on her notepad.

“Because im not all excited and happy, im just terrified. I’m even scared to tell Cayden,” i sighed.

“Being scared is normal. This is a big change,” she pointed out. “Do you fear how Cayden will react?”  

“No,” i shook my head, “its not that. Im not sure what it is,” i played with my hair.

“Whats the worst thing you immagine happening,” she tried instead. I paused for a while, picturing me telling him.

“I think its more to do with me. I dont want him to see my fear and be upset by my reaction,” i scratched my arms. She nodded.

“You think Cayden won’t be understanding of your fears and concerns?”

“I dont know,” i shrugged.

“You’ve been together for how long now, has he given you reason to think he wouldn’t be understanding of your story and how things may feel a bit intense for you?” I shook my head.

“Then maybe you should give him a bit more credit and trust that you can confide in him,” she put a hand on my knee. I nodded. I knew she was right. The fears were all because i was in my own head too much. I knew i was also generally high strung when Cayden was far away from me.

“You’re right,” i said, dabbing at a single tear that had escaped. Why did she always have me crying in her office?

“You’re very brave, dont forget that. Give yourself a break. You are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman…and you will make a terrific mother.”

When she said the last part i really lost it, i don’t know why. I took the tissues she offered me and we just sat in silence for a little while, since my hour was almost up anyway. Once the session was done she gave me a long hug and told me to come in any time. I thanked her and then left the office.

When i got back home i was emotionally drained and just tired all together. Jada invited me to watch a Romcom which was my favourite, but i needed to lay down so i flaked and went upstairs to sleep instead and Cayden ended up calling me an hour into my nap and we had a short but nice conversation. Hearing his voice and seeing his face lifted my spirits and also made my stomach flutter in a new strange way. I couldn’t believe i was one of those girls who couldn’t go a few days without seeing her man, but it was different once you were married. We truly functioned as a unit, and taking him away was taking away part of me. He encouraged me to get out of bed though and i washed my face before going to join my friends downstairs.

“How you doing?” Jada asked, looking at me a little too intensely.

“Im good. I had an intense therapy session, im always drained after talking to Dr. williams,” i explained.

“We got you some food, i was gonna bring it up but i didnt wanna wake you,” China said. “You should eat,”

“Im actually starving. What you get?”

“Fried rice, its in the fridge” she said. My mouth watered immediately and i ran to the kitchen. Suddenly i was happy and feeling good about life as i warmed my food and grabbed some cutlery. I brought it to the couch and Jada flipped through netflix finding a new movie.

“A walk to remember?” she asked.

“Too sad,” i said.

“Jumping the broom?”

“Yeah i like that one,” i nodded. She pressed play and i made myself comfortable.

Later on in the day, Ty did come by just like Cayden had said. I let him in and asked him if he wanted something to drink. He said sure and followed me to the kitchen. I got him a can of coke from the fridge.

“How you doing nugget?” he asked. “You look down.”

“Im alright, i didnt sleep a lot last night. Im just tired,” i said.

“Can’t sleep cause yo nigga gon?” he guessed. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Yall so extra.”

“Don’t act like you dont be all pissy when Cole not here. We all have to put up with you until he come back on the weekend.”

“I dont get pissy,” he said real quick, face serious as ever.

“Ok,” i said in a ‘sure’ tone. He sent me a mug and drank his coke. “So what did you need again?” i asked, having forgotten what Cay had told me i was supposed to give him.

“The key to Cayden’s office,” he said.

“Right. Ill go get it, be right back,” i said. He nodded. I got up and left the kitchen to go up to the bedroom. The key was in some safety deposit box with a pin but it was our wedding say so i knew it. I unlocked the box and got the key while also lurking at everything else. There was some money, a gun, some keys, and an envelope. I grabbed the envelope and opened it. It was a deed for the house that had, apparently, been updated to have my name on it beside his. I couldn’t help but smile. I had never asked him to do that. Cayden had bought this house all on his own way before me. It made my heart skip a beat seeing he added my name on a legal paper listing me as an owner of the property.

“I love you Cay,” i said to nobody. I put the letter back where id found it and locked the box back up. I left the room and started for the stairs, jogging down them because id kept Ty waiting when i got distarcted. I was wearing socks though, and the stairs were polished wood, so when i put my foot on the next step it slid all the way past the edge and threw me off balance. I let out a little scream as i  slipped and caught myself on the hand rail before i could go tumbling down the stairs.

“Fuck,” I said, my heart pounding. Ty was now at the bottom of the stairs. I took the rest of the stairs slowly. My hand had somehow ended up on my stomach in a very non random way, i guess to protect it.

“You good?” Ty said.

“Yeah,” I said, trying to calm myself. “That was really scary,” i ran my hand up and down my lower belly. He looked down at my hand which was still on my belly, making slow movements. He looked at me like I was weird at first then he seemed to put things together. I went red.

“Wait…” he said. I quickly removed my hand and wiped the nervous sweat on my jeans. “Are you knocked up?” I didnt answer right away so that about confirmed it.

“Please don’t say anything to anyone,” I begged, closing the sweater I had on. He chuckled.

“Oh shit,” he said, looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“I haven’t gotten to tell Cayden yet so don’t tell him please. I know you’re his best friend but im begging you,” i said desperatly.  

“Don’t worry, I won’t” he said in an understanding tone.

“If he asks how i am just say im good. I dont wanna worry him,” i said. He nodded. “Thanks,” I said, handing him the key. He took it and I thought he was gonna leave but he wrapped one arm around me and pulled me into a hug. This was the most affectionate he had ever been with me. We had a very brother and sister relationship. I mean he would mess up my hair teasingly or choke hold me but this was a real, soft hug. I didn’t know what to do.

“Be careful on the stairs aight?” He said. I nodded. He pulled away. He nodded and then went out the door. I knew I had to tell Cayden. I would feel horrible if he found out from someone else. I promised myself that would be the first thing i did when he got home. I just had to wait a few more days, and not fall down any stairs.