#ty for the ask dina!

[captainmvf]

You say I can ask about AUs aye? 👀 OK May I please know more about that future AU with Joe and Magnitude? Why does Joe have an eyepatch? Where is the Caliosteo Patrol Team in this?

Hiya!!

First- The Injured Joe part:

 Joe got injured during a rogue vivosaur problem gone wrong. I don’t have all the details down just yet but it was a carnivorous ambush vivosaur that was able to surprise him and his team. He was knocked out after being previously wounded but his team was able to get the rogue vivosaur to white out back into its medallion form and get help. Unfortunately, he lost an eye, has scars on the left side of his body, and has a limp in his left leg. Fortunately! He is still alive and wasn’t too let down by this (he even told Mags that ‘now they match’ since they have ‘‘similar’’ scars now. this earned him a soft punch to his good arm.) and thinks the scars make him look cooler.

Second- Patrol Team. Where are they now:

 Dina ended up taking over the Caliosteo Fossil Park and Dino became her secretary (only in name, she considers her twin a co-owner since they do equal amounts of work). I still haven’t nailed down what Pauleen and Rupert would be but I think Pauleen would be interested in fashion design and Rupert would try to take over his father’s company and uphold the enjoyment of his customers and employees. Todd would most likely become the Fossil Park’s newest ‘champion’ maybe if he’s not interested in also rounding up rogue vivosaurs (Dina would also take up the mantle of Joe’s old side gig of rogue vivosaur rescues but I’m still undetermined if Dina would be more into it or Todd would).

Hopefully these answer some question. I haven’t thought more about it but I do hope to get more details down one day!

[cxrdycxps]

Pretty Hurts • Ellie Williams

☢️ female reader • lesbian reader (it’s well defined) • canon typical violence • sexual assault • mean!ellie can’t deal with feelings • victim shaming • strap on sex • Ellie’s also mean in bed • recreational drug use ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

“Jesse! Hey, Jesse.” You chased your friend up the street, almost running into him when he stopped suddenly. He looked you up and down, eyes narrowed. It had been unseasonably warm today but he was sure you were pushing it.

“What’s got you all dressed up, Princess?” Jesse asked and you looked down at your outfit like you needed a reminder of what you were wearing. “Or dressed down, I guess?”

“You think it’s hot?” You asked him and he blanched, looking over his shoulder as if Dina would appear out of nowhere to hear the conversation. “Not for you obviously.”

Jesse would admit there was a certain allure to it. He would admit that on his death bed where a very jealous Dina wouldn’t be able to strangle him for it.

You had your usual cowboy boots on that you wore year round. You had been heartbroken when you busted your last pair beyond repair while on patrol one day. Ellie had saved the day almost three weeks later when she returned with a new pair for you.

Usually you could be found clad in a tight pair of jeans, weirdly proud of your looks for someone who had been born after the world ended. It had earned you the nickname of Princess by most of your peers. Today, instead of the typical jeans, was a short denim skirt. You had clearly sacrificed a pair of jeans for them but Jesse could appreciate the sacrifice. Completely unbiased, just as a man.

He was starting to get paranoid Dina would hear his thoughts. At this point he was going to deserve to be strangled. The top you were wearing was also of your own doing. It had been a white blouse once, Jesse guessed. Except now it was sleeveless and cropped, tying at the front in a little knot. You hadn’t bothered to button it all the way.

“Well that answers that.” You grinned happily and Jesse blinked at you. “You were staring, it means I look hot.”

You gave him a little twirl and he was treated to a glimpse of what he was certain was definitely your underwear. He closed his eyes and asked the lord for strength, if he even existed.

“Tonight’s the night.” You told him enthusiastically. Jesse still hadn’t gathered enough brain cells to answer you but it was like you didn’t need him to. Like you could read his mind in the way he feared Dina could. “Ellie’s finally coming to a dance.”

“Think you’ve picked it up wrong, Princess. Ellie doesn’t dance. Ellie actively avoids dances by hanging out in Joel’s garage and smoking so much she reeks of weed for three days after.” That was oddly specific. Jesse knew far too much about his friends at this point. Ellie’s smoking habits, the color of your underwear. When would it end?

“I know but it’s part of her fixing her relationship with Joel. He likes these things apparently, even though he just sits down the back and glares at people.” You told Jesse excitedly. For some reason Joel liked you.

He told you about how he was trying to fix things between him and Ellie. He talked to you during meals, he patrolled with you and he even had been caught leaving your house.

In the beginning it had been weird. Everyone felt weird about it including Ellie who had callously called you out for fucking Joel a few months after she had arrived to Jackson.

You hadn’t had the best reaction about it. Calling Ellie a slew of names, promptly bursting into tears and running out of the Tipsy Bison. And while Joel would probably murder people for looking at Ellie wrong, he had shaken his head at Ellie, following you out of the bar.

Turns out you had known Joel. He had helped you years ago when he had come across a gang of rival raiders, ones that didn’t have the same barely there morals he had.

No women or no children. He had sworn he wouldn’t do that and he had stuck to it. So when he came across you, barely ten and already far more exposed to the cruelties of the world something in him had snapped.

He had gotten you and your mother away. And the pair of you had made your way to Jackson, only for him to find you years later. Your mother having passed away since he had last saw you.

It just so happened one of the nights he had been walking home late from the Tipsy Bison he had encountered you trying to tell one of the stable boys you weren’t interested.

He hadn’t listened and Joel had intervened, reminding you of that fateful night so many years ago. The puzzle pieces had clicked and you had formed a sort of dependency on the man who had saved your life.

At this point Joel was collecting daughters like they were Pokémon and he was too tired to keep fighting it so he just let you come around when you had some small issue you needed advice on.

You had explained some of this to Ellie the next night, apologizing for calling her names in an act of graciousness nobody was sure Ellie deserved. It wasn’t long until most of your inner circle had put it together that you had a crush on her.

Everyone but Ellie, that was. So you had hatched these elaborate schemes to get her attention and everyone watched when you crashed and burned only to bounce back again and again.

You were kind of unshakeable. It was almost inspiring.

So when you walked into the Tipsy Bison that night with your hair curled and what passed for make up on these days everyone was ready to watch you fail again.

A few of the women had been reclaiming old beauty practices after a particularly good patrol had found an old salon with hair styling tools. And some out of date makeup but it was powders so did it even count as an expiration date?

“She always does so much and for what?” Ellie asked and Joel looked up from his drink to find you scanning the crowd. “Oh god she’s going to coming over here.”

“Cut her some slack, I thought you were friends now.” Joel sighed and Ellie looked back at Joel before looking back at you.

“We’ve nothing in common except Jesse and Dina.” Ellie explained to Joel. Joel knew he was on thin enough ice with Ellie so he didn’t mention that according to you, there was so many shared interests that it just made sense.

Instead of approaching like Ellie had predicted you would after spotting her, you made your way to the bar instead and Joel watched Ellie’s eyes lock on the length of your skirt. Or rather the lack of length to it.

Joel wondered if he was in good enough graces with Ellie again yet to make a joke about it but he caught himself at the last second in case he ruined your best laid plans.

He looked back to you at the bar and found it wasn’t just Ellie’s attention you had managed to capture. Stable boy apparently hadn’t learned his lesson and had returned for more.

Joel straightened up in his seat and wondered if Tommy would kill him for hurting this kid. It would probably be worth it to teach him a lesson.

Joel didn’t need to move because he watched Ellie approach you and slot in on your other side, taking all of your attention. Ellie gestured for three drinks off Seth before turning to look at you.

“New skirt?” Ellie asked and you lit up like the fact that she noticed was the greatest thing ever. Like you couldn’t even hear the stable boy say anything from behind you as he attempted to get your attention back.

“Do you like it?” You asked Ellie, giving her a little twirl so she could appreciate the whole view. Ellie let her eyes trace you up and down as you finished with a little bounce and who was Ellie to not appreciate the way your tits moved.

“I mean, it’s a skirt.” She shrugged and you visibly deflated as Seth approached with the drinks.

“I think it’s a great skirt.” Stable boy told you and you barely looked over your shoulder at him to roll your eyes.

“Literally no one in Jackson cares what you think Darwin.” You snapped and Ellie laughed lightly, nudging the third glass in your direction.

“Come on then.” She instructed and nodded to where Joel was sitting, watching the whole interaction with what was almost a smile on his face.

“With you?” You asked, cradling the drink in your hand and looking between her and the table.

“Unless you want to stay here with Darwin?” Ellie shrugged and started walking away. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you followed her over to the table. Instead of taking the seat she had been in, beside Joel, she took the one across the table from him, kicking the chair beside her out in a casual way that made your heart beat double time.

“Hey Joel, how you doin’?” You asked, smiling at him before taking a sip of your drink. He took his own drink from the table and sipped at it slowly, looking over your shoulder.

“Am I gonna have to talk to Stable Boy?” Joel asked rather than answer your question and you followed his gaze to where Darwin had his elbows leaned back on the bar, watching you.

“She’s plenty capable, ain’t you Princess?” Ellie asked, her arm sliding along the back of your chair. “Put him in his place just now.”

You had been barely paying attention to Darwin at the bar, definitely not enough to remember what you had said. Recalling as much was even hard with Ellie’s fingers tracing the place when you had cut the sleeves off your blouse. Her finger traced your skin lightly and you could feel the goosebumps following in her wake.

“Is that so?” Joel asked with what was almost a smile. “What’d you tell him?”

“I uh, I don’t know.” You muttered, looking back again to find Darwin wasn’t looking anymore, talking to some of his friends. “I wasn’t mean, was I?”

“Told him no one cared about his opinion in all of Jackson.” Ellie sounded proud of you and you leaned further back into her arm with a satisfied grin.

“He should know better than goin’ talkin’ to you anyway.” Joel muttered, swirling his glass as the music started up. “I obviously didn’t scare him enough.”

Ellie looked between you both and back to Darwin. You figured she didn’t know anything about the night Joel interrupted you both in the middle of an argument.

“Darwin’s really not so bad.” You sighed, looking back at him again. He was talking avidly, telling a story with his hands and his friends were laughing. “He just don’t know what to do with a pretty girl.”

“Pretty girl?” Ellie laughed meanly and you looked up at her and swallowed the lump suddenly growing in your throat. “You sure of that?”

You leaned forward, away from her arm and stared at the table before looking up at Joel who was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I uh, I’m gonna..” you trailed off, shaking your head before standing up.

You passed Jesse and Dina who were coming in. They watched you and looked across to where Ellie was watching you leave, her arm still slung around your chair.

You tried to ignore the cold, crossing your arms across your chest and heading for home. You wiped at your eyes feeling pathetic that you were actually gonna cry.

“Hey Princess!” You sighed, looking over your shoulder and found Darwin standing a couple of feet away. “You usually never leave a dance until the music stops playing.”

“I don’t feel much like dancin’.” You shrugged, shivering again. He sighed, stepping a little closer and extending his jacket he had in his hand. “It’s fine.”

“Take it, nothing worse than seeing a pretty girl cry. She don’t need to be cold too.” You laughed at his logic, taking his jacket from his outstretched hand. “What’s got you so upset? Thought all your dreams were coming true with how close you two were.”

“She insinuated I wasn’t pretty.” You told him, feeling pathetic. You wiped your tears away again and Darwin rolled his eyes, stepping close enough to pull you into a hug. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“It ain’t stupid. You know you’re the prettiest girl in town. That’s why everyone calls you Princess.” He assured you, a soothing hand rubbing your back. “We all got our talents and ain’t no one as pretty as you.”

“I got other talents.” You muttered petulantly and he laughed.

“I know you do. You’re a dab hand at tracking, make the rest of us look stupid. When fall comes you make a great apple pie. And you ain’t never failed to put a smile on someone’s face no matter how bad their day is.” Darwin told you with a squeeze. You looked up at him and pouted.

“Why can’t I like you?” You asked him and he laughed, tossing his head back. “Ellie would never say all that to me. She’s just mean.”

“I wish you could like me too. But it ain’t that simple telling your heart what to do.” He released you with one arm, wrapping the other around your shoulder to guide you home.

“Ain’t that for sure.” You sighed before looking back to where the music was pouring from the Tipsy Bison. “You wanna dance?”

“You tryna get my hopes up?” He asked with a laugh and you shook your head at him, squaring your shoulders. “Thought you weren’t up for dancin’?”

“I ain’t but she doesn’t get to know she hurt me like that. So we should go back and dance. I still ain’t gonna crawl into your bed tonight but we can be friends, can’t we?” You asked and Darwin could only roll his eyes, turning back towards the bar.

“Maybe a couple of the other girls’ll see you in my arm and start paying me some attention.” You looked almost offended and he shrugged. “Ain’t you using me to make her jealous?”

You were and he was right about it. It shouldn’t hurt that he was getting something out of it too so you only nodded at him, taking his hand and leading into the bar.

He paused you in the doorway and lifted his hands up to cup your cheeks, his thumbs running under your eyes. “Don’t let her know she made you cry.”

You smiled up at him as the door pushed open. Jesse looked between you and Darwin and paused in place, jaw dropped.

“I was just coming to check on you.” Jesse muttered and you shrugged as Darwin dropped his hands from your face.

“We were just getting some air.” You told Jesse, pulling Darwin back into the bar by his hand. “Nothing to see here.”

///

The sounds of the forest were better to quiet your mind than any of the weed Eugene managed to bring into Jackson. You stood with your head tilted back towards the sun, letting the breeze cool you.

You could hear the noise of the others as they travelled through the small settlement behind you, killing off the runners you’d been tracking.

You didn’t much get involved in that. It turned your stomach at best and made you violently ill at worse.

You had a gun on your hip that you only ever shot at unmoving targets, keeping your skills sharp but without causing harm. You had seen enough blood to last you a lifetime.

“Bout ready to get saddled up again, Princess.” Joel told you from a little to your left. You turned your head to look at him, lifting a hand to block the sun rays. “You finished sunbathing?”

“Almost, a bloater travelled through here. Couple days ago at most.” You told Joel and he looked around, watching for what you saw. You didn’t share any of the details with him. You didn’t need to be out of a job.

“Got enough time?” Joel asked and you shook your head. He nodded slowly, watching the forest with you. “We’ll come out this way again tomorrow. Plan an overnight patrol.”

“Sounds good to me.” You agreed lightly, listening to the sounds of everyone else saddling back up from a little behind the tree line.

“So, stable boy, huh?” Joel asked and you rolled your eyes. You looked up at Joel, still shielding your eyes before turning and heading back to your horse. “I’m just asking.”

“Well don’t. Darwin and I are friends. He’s nicer than other people I chose to associate with recently.” You told him, pulling yourself up onto your horse without bothering to look back at him. “Maybe it’s time I find good friends.”

“You got good friends and none of them tried to force themselves on you in a dark alley.” Joel reasoned as he pulled himself up onto his horse.

“He wasn’t gonna force himself on me.” You sighed. “He was a little drunk and thought I just needed convincin’. He never set a hand on me. I’m not that ten year old anymore.”

“I know that. You’re a woman now and you make your own decisions. I just wanna make sure you’re making good ones.” You stared at Joel, eyebrows furrowed.

“Joel, I uh, I ain’t tryin’ to be rude. But you aren’t my father.” You told him, bewildered at the sharing he was doing when usually a grunt was all the acknowledging you’d get. “You got Ellie for that.”

“You ain’t ever turned my advice down before.” He shrugged and you shook your head.

“Thanks to your advice I was cryin’ outside the bar last week. You told me to have patience but Joel, I ain’t ever gonna let someone talk to me like that.” You sighed. He didn’t reply and you didn’t much care, urging your horse on ahead.

You spent some time discussing an early patrol tomorrow with Tommy. He’d need to put together a small team for overnight so that you could track that bloater and get rid of it.

You resolutely ignored Joel who’s eyes you could feel burning into your back and kept a similar distance from Jesse who was just confused for all intents and purposes.

You didn’t bother taking time to explain to any of your friends why you were quietly drawing away from them. You didn’t know how to explain what finally tipped you over the edge was a dig that maybe you weren’t as pretty as you thought you were.

You were embarrassed to admit it had knocked your confidence a little. You had always held your looks close to your heart. You were a little vain, you knew as much. Your mama had been the most beautiful woman you had known. She had told you about being a pageant queen and how she had loved looking pretty.

Jesse wouldn’t understand it. He wasn’t a girl, he didn’t understand that drive to be worried about how you looked. Dina would laugh at you, of that you were sure. She had always laughed at your need to wear clothes that almost bordered on impractical.

You hadn’t minded before. But now you wondered if maybe you were an outsider. You had been friends with Jesse and Dina way before Ellie had come along but Ellie had slotted in seamlessly to the group. It was a kind of heartbreaking thought that once again you were isolated from everyone else.

On your return to Jackson, Darwin was at the stable, welcoming in the patrol men and taking their horses. You hung around for a while, helping Darwin with brushing the horses and settling them in for the night.

"We'll be heading out again tomorrow." You told him, fighting around a yawn. He looked up from where he was brushing Joel's horse and smiled at you. "Ain't you up for a patrol soon?"

The patrol schedule, like most jobs in Jackson, was rotational. For everyday patrols there was a set schedule and groups who would do them all the time. But the long patrols, the overnight, were a town-wide rotation in which every able-bodied adult took part.

Your momma had said something about jury duty the first time it had come up. You never had a chance to ask her what that had meant.

"Yeah sure, think I'll be in for this one." Darwin nodded, finishing up with the horse and dusting his hands off. He gave you a grin and you rolled your eyes at him, already expecting the stupid joke that followed that particular grin. "You wanna share a sleeping bag?"

"I think I'd rather share it with the bloater we're looking for." You scoffed, tossing his bag at him as you left the stable with him. You cast a look in through the other stables as you both left and found Ellie brushing Shimmer.

She looked over her shoulder at the sound of Darwin chattering and you paused when she called our name. When you paused in place Darwin stopped by your side. Ellie stared between you both, eyes narrowing.

"I'll see you at dinner." You told Darwin with a sigh, resting your arms on the half door of the stable. Ellie watched him walk away before turning to you with a raised eyebrow.

"You heading out tomorrow?" Ellie asked and you nodded, resting your chin on your forearms. She fidgeted with the brush in her hands, barely looking up at you. "Joel says it's a bloater. You ever seen one before?"

"Is this an exam, do I need to get so many questions right before you let me leave?" You asked her and she rolled her eyes, throwing the brush into her bag.

"I was just asking, no need to get your panties in a twist." Ellie scoffed and you huffed, standing up straight. "I can't make conversation with you now? Got your little boyfriend and suddenly you're too good for your friends."

"Like you're a friend? The way that you treat me?" You asked with a scoff and Ellie recoiled as if you had shocked her with something she didn't already know. "You cut me down at every single chance you get and call yourself my friend."

"It was a joke, I can't make a joke?" She asked, almost shouting and you shook your head, running a hand through your hair. "You never had a problem with me making a joke before."

"You never called me ugly before." You muttered and she blinked at you. You stared at her for several seconds as she remained unmoving and sighed. "I never realized you were laughing at me, not with me. It hurt a little."

You left her standing in the stable and wondered how she dared to pretend she hadn't noticed that everything she had said to you wasn't a dig in one way or another.

You had clearly been delusional in thinking that there would ever have been a chance that she was interested in you.

///

The thing about early morning patrols was that most people in the usual patrol group kept it quiet until everyone had fully woken up. By everyone, you meant mostly Eugene and yourself.

Unfortunately, Darwin had chosen this morning to be especially chatty and Ellie was telling Joel a bunch of puns from a tattered book. You leaned forward, your forehead against your horse's mane, and tried to tune it all out before you raised your head again.

"Up late, Princess?" Darwin asked and you groaned, lifting a hand to block out the rising sun from your eyes.

���Dreaming of you, Sweetheart.” You told him before digging your heels in and urging your horse up ahead to Eugene who seemed to be distancing himself from the chatter boxes.

“Damn shame we can’t just tape their mouth shut.” Eugene grunted and you laughed at him, rolling your eyes. “That boy of yours could draw a pack of the biters with a whisper.”

“He ain’t mine.” You laughed and Eugene shook his head, pulling down his sunglasses to look at you. “He’s not my type.”

“The other loud mouth is though.” He pointed out and you sighed heavily, reaching out and attempting to swipe his sunglasses.

“Cmon old man, I know you stole my last pair. I just know it.” You accused and he shook his head with a smirk as he batted your hands away.

“You can’t prove it, Princess. You’ll have to keep a look out for your own.” He told you and you sighed. You were approaching the location you had spotted bloater tracks so you sat up straight and reached back to tie your hair up in a ponytail.

Darwin joined your sides the same filthy grin on his face that you knew a comment was coming. “You know what that does to me, baby.”

“You make me want to vomit.” You replied with a sigh, pulling on your horses reigns and hopping down. Eugene followed you while the others waited back.

“Think it might have fallen off a cliff and died and we can just all go home?” Eugene asked and you rolled your eyes. You followed the signs that lead you to your discovery the other day.

Several of the plants had been squashed in the surrounding area. On several of the trees there was residue from the bloater knocking into them. The terrible echolocation skills allowed you to follow their path pretty easily.

“Dumb motherfucker got me wasting a whole day and night on this shit.” Eugene sighed, watching you follow the path of destruction. He went back for your horses and to gather everyone else.

You took your time, watching the signs and clues. At one point the bloater had just wandered in a circle, trampling a ring of destruction. You figured it was probably chasing an animal or something.

When the others caught up you accepted the reigns of your horse off Eugene and hopped up on her back. The group was much quieter as you followed the trail.

You had been right about one thing. The bloater had been a few days ahead of you. By the time the sun was beginning to set you were still over a day behind it. With the slow speed it travelled you would be well able to catch up the following morning and be home before sundown.

With that news the group made way to the nearest outpost in a small farm house. The horses were set up in the barn, Darwin offering to do his duty by settling them all in.

The rest of you trailed into the farmhouse.

Joel lit a fire while everyone set up their space for the night. You and Eugene played rock paper scissors for the sofa and he laughed when you lost, setting your sleeping bag up on the floor.

He then lost to Joel who disputed his claim only for him to offer the sofa to Ellie which made you and Eugene roll your eyes.

You hung a pot over the fire, unpacking a few tins of food. While you waited you dug your fists into the bottom of your back, trying to ease the pain taking residence there.

“I got somethin’ for that!” Eugene called and you only laughed at him. You had no doubt he had an arsenal of ‘stuff’. “You young people shouldn’t be hurting’ like you’re eighty.”

“Youth is wasted on the young.” Joel clapped Eugene on the shoulder in passing.

///

Mostly everyone was sleeping. Eugene was starfished by the fire, his massive form almost blocking the light from it. Ellie was curled up on the sofa, her hand resting down the side, almost touching Joel who was sleeping next to her, still as a corpse. Darwin was closest to where you had set up, almost completely covered by his sleeping bag, only the top of his head peeking out.

You were sat up, turning your gun over in your hand. It was your turn to keep watch and you had sat yourself up on a counter in the kitchen to do so. The floor was open plan so you could still see everyone while keeping an eye on things outside.

The heat of the evening was getting to you and so you took a second to pad outside, wincing at the creak of the screen door. There was a bench on the porch and you lowered yourself into it.

The night was silent, the only sound from the slight rustle of the leaves in the gentle breeze. There was just over half a moon, a natural source of light allowing you to see the trees of the forest.

In times like this it was easy to forget why you were out here. You had never known a life before the outbreak but your momma had told you stories about how she had lived.

You wanted to experience a peagant and see her in all her glory. You wanted a prom and Friday night football games. You wanted to know what it had all been about.

Most of all you wanted your momma. She’d probably be able to comfort you in getting over Ellie. She always was able to calm you down even when the two of you were living through hell.

That was if she was okay with you liking girls. You had never had a chance to tell her about how you felt. She had died well before you had accepted it.

Cancer.

The world ended and zombies took over but cancer was what killed her in the end. Without chemo there was nothing the doctors in Jackson could do.

The people of Jackson had been good to you. You had lived in a boarding house until you were eighteen and then gave you back your momma’s house.

The screen door creaked and you looked up when Darwin stepped out. He didn’t speak and so neither did you, letting him take his place beside you.

“Hard to sleep when we ain’t at home.” He told you after a little while and you nodded in agreement, still watching the forest. “You okay?”

“Just thinkin’ about Momma.” You told him honestly. “I been missin’ her.”

“She’d be real proud of you.” He told you with a cut off laugh. “I remember her. She was real pretty and real nice. Used to help my mom set her hair in rollers on special occasions.”

“She didn’t want beauty to die.” You told him and he nodded. Everyone knew that about her. Some people had thought her vain. But in her eyes it was her culture, her history. Her momma had been the same and even her momma before that.

“As long as you’re alive beauty is sure to be.” Darwin smiled at you and you smiled back, tipping your head to lay on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you and together you watched the forest.

It was tipping into Darwin’s watch time before he spoke again, calling your name softly to see if you were awake. You hummed sleepily and he chuckled.

“We could’ve been so easy, you know?” He asked, sighing wistfully. You sat up as if you had been scolded and he reached for your hand in apology. “I know, you don’t like men. But if you did it would be easy.”

“Yeah. I’ve always known, you know?” You asked him, laughing humorlessly. “I didn’t get crushes on boys so I just ignored it. And then I met Ellie.”

“Did you ever even try?” Darwin asked, pulling back to look at you. “Did you just write all men off?”

“I didn’t need to try. I knew.” You didn’t like the accusation in his tone and so you leaned back away from him. He released your hand to run a hand through his hair. “I’ve always known.”

“You can’t know something like that.” You opened your mouth to argue with him and he pressed forward, his hand tangling in your hair and holding you in place. He forced himself on you, kissing you so hard your teeth bruised your lips and you gasped.

His tongue invaded your mouth while his hands pawed at your chest. You struggled to push away from him but he was stronger than you. The only sound was the click of your safety, the gun against his stomach.

He froze, not releasing you entirely but pulling his lips back from yours. “What are you doing?”

“Get your hands off me. Right now.” You warned, your voice shaky. He raised both hands, pulling away slowly from you. “If you ever touch me again I-”

“You won’t use that gun, sweetheart.” Even with his hands raised he was cocky about it and you knew he was right. You didn’t shoot infected never mind living people.

“I won’t have to. Joel is plenty fond of using his.” You warned standing up and walking back towards the screen door. He didn’t follow you inside and you paused inside the door.

Eugene and Joel were unmoved. Ellie had rolled over to face the back of the sofa but she was still. You took a moment to gather yourself, wiping the tears off your face.

Your hands were shaking as you returned to your bed roll, pulling it closer to Joel. You pulled the blanket up over your head and tried not to shake with your sobs, freezing when the creak of the screen door signaled Darwin’s return inside.

///

“You okay there, Princess?” Eugene asked quietly. The other three had pulled ahead, the early morning chatter driving you and him a few meters back. When you didn’t answer Eugene tried again. “Princess, you with me?”

“Huh?” You blinked at him, shaking your head and then looking back to him. “I was in my own world. Sorry.”

“Hope it’s damn better than this one.” He sighed and you huffed a laugh before sighing yourself. Ellie and Joel were chatting up the front. Darwin interjected every once in a while but Ellie seemed to be trying to exclude him.

Your eyes were dry from crying and the headache you had wasn’t aided by the sun that was beating down on top of you. Your stomach turned every time Darwin looked back at you.

You wanted to scream at him to stop looking at you. You wanted to tell Joel and Eugene what he had done to you so that they could leave his body in the woods. You wanted to dig your heels in to your horse and gallop into the woods where no one would ever touch you again.

Instead you clutched the reins so your hand wouldn’t shake and you nudged your horse into speeding up to take the lead before Joel could call you.

You were closer to the bloater, somewhere within an hour of its stumbling steps. It was traveling in a wide arc and with time it would return to Jackson’s area. It made the trip worth it. For everyone but you it seemed.

It took less than fifteen minutes for you to land on the bloaters tail. There was scraps of what counted as flesh on the trees, trampled plants and a lack of nature sounds in the area.

When the horses grew too loud you left them back, tying their reins to the trees. Eugene took the lead with Joel following up on the end of the group. The bloater was easy tracked from here.

Eugene had his shotgun loaded and Joel had his rifle. Ellie was using her pistol but she had a Molotov cocktail to get things started. You held your pistol in your grip and hoped you wouldn’t need it. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Darwin and ensure he had a loaded gun.

The bloater was trying to navigate the forest and found difficulty in getting past the dense trees. Every couple of feet it stumbled and almost knocked itself over.

It was pathetic to watch but you knew once the first shot was taken it would no longer be this stumbling mess but an evolved killing machine.

Joel lifted a hand and pointed at Ellie to stay. Eugene and him circled around until the bloater was unknowingly surrounded. Darwin took post beside Ellie and you stood back, pistol raised and hands shaking.

With a nod Ellie threw the Molotov which burst at the bloaters feet. The infected screeched and roared when Ellie followed with two shots from her pistol.

Eugene raised his shotgun as you looked around. A shot went off followed by Joel’s rifle and the bloater hit the ground. You were still looking around, following imprints in the ground. There was a second pair of bare feet, much smaller than the bloater. You had missed them.

You turned to warn everyone, all of them gathered by the bloater. Just behind Ellie a stalker approached. You didn’t have time to warn them when two shots sounded. The stalkers body dropped and so did you.

Your knees buckled from under you landing you in the dead leaves and branches on the ground. You had dropped your gun, hands over your ears trying to block out the sound.

Joel was checking over Ellie who had barely moved despite how close your bullets had come to her head. She was staring at the stalker, two bullets lodged in its head.

Darwin got to you first and reached for you but you scrambled away. “Don’t touch me. Don’t fucking touch me.”

You reached for your gun again and pointed it at him catching Joel and Eugene’s attention as Darwin raised his hands in surrender. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

You knew you were sobbing, your hands shaking violently. Joel and Eugene were talking to you and you knew you should listen but you couldn’t. You had shot someone. You had shot someone to save Ellie. An infected, sure. But it had been someone once.

“Hey there, Princess.” Her voice broke the quiet. “I’m gonna take that from you. I ain’t a fan of Darwin either but we can’t shoot him.”

She reached out and hit the safety on your gun before removing it from your shaking hands. You looked from Darwin to her and she shushed you when you tried to speak. “That’s okay, I just don’t wanna muck out the stalls if he’s dead.”

“I shot someone.” You whispered and Ellie shook her head. You could still see the body of the stalker so you nodded. “I did. I killed someone.”

“You saved my life, that’s what you did. You saved me.” Ellie told you and you blinked, focusing on her face. “You did your job and tracked the bloater and then you tracked the stalker. You saved my life, Princess.”

“I should’ve, I couldn’t-”

“Shh, that’s okay. Why don’t we head on home?” Ellie asked, helping you up off the ground. “Get some warm food and a decent bed to make up for last night. You okay to ride?”

“I can share with her.” Darwin reached out and you flinched away into Ellie. “It’s okay, Princess. It’s just me.”

“Don’t let him touch me.” You begged Ellie quietly. “Please don’t let him touch me.”

Ellie kept one arm around you as she guided you to the horses. She was talking to you quietly but all you could see was your shaking hands. The hands of a murderer.

“Time to get on up. You can share with me, okay?” Ellie asked. On autopilot you climbed up onto Shimmer and shifted forward when the press of Ellie warmed against your back.

“You and I are gonna talk when we get home.” Joel muttered in the background and you released a breath. Joel would protect you just like always.

///

You were in your bed. You didn’t know how you had gotten there. You were also in pyjamas. You didn’t remember putting them on. You felt off balance and shaky as you swung your legs over the edge of your bed.

The light behind your curtains told you it was midday but the last thing you remembered was closing in on the bloater with the others. When you staggered to your feet it came back to you slowly.

The stalker. You had shot it. Darwin’s hands reaching for you. Ellie and her calming voice trying to soothe you on the ride back to Jackson.

You opened your bedroom door and listened closely for voices. You and Dina lived together in your mommas old house. It wasn’t so much an offer you had made but a decision Maria had. Housing was better used for families than one single person and so Dina had joined you when her family were gone.

When you reached the living room Ellie was asleep on the sofa which surprised you. She had said something about beds. You could remember that much.

You wiped your eyes tiredly and fought a yawn as you stepped into the living room. She hadn’t changed her clothes or even gone home. Her pack was by the top of the sofa. You nudged one of her legs and her eyes opened slowly.

She sniffled a bit, a hand running over her face. When she blinked and looked up she saw you and rushed to sit up on the sofa. “You’re awake!”

“Just barely. What are you doing here?” You asked, confused. Ellie’s eyes tracked the length of your body and you folded your arms across your chest. Your pajamas weren’t the most attractive attire. “How did I get here?”

“I brought you home.” Ellie explained, patting the space beside her. You took a seat but left more distance than she had intended between you both. “You were sort of out of it for a while.”

“Yeah, that’s happens sometimes.” You muttered and looked down at your hands. “Did you put me to bed?”

“No. That was all Dina. I’ve been down here the whole time, I swear.” You nodded at her words and yawned again. Ellie didn’t say anything and you had nothing to say so you leaned back on the sofa and pulled your legs up under you.

You almost drifted off again when Ellie cleared her throat. You turned your head to look at her but she was staring down at her hands instead of meeting your eyes. “Darwin told us what happened.”

“Did he now?” You asked. Your hands tightened into fists so that they wouldn’t shake and you turned your face away from her to hide your expression. “I’m sure it was very informative.”

“He told us he kissed you.” Ellie sighed and you scoffed, shaking your head. “Yeah, Joel didn’t believe that story. So he asked him again, a little more forceful.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what else to say to that. You didn’t like the thought of people getting hurt but Darwin hadn’t cared about hurting you. “Is Joel gonna be in trouble?”

“No. Darwin isn’t going to talk to anyone about what happened.” Ellie assured you and you nodded slowly, your lips pursed. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Wasn’t you, was it?” You asked quietly. You fixed your gaze on the wall and picked at the skin around your nails. “Why haven’t you gone home?”

“Because I wanted to make sure that you were okay. And I wanted to apologise because I seen him do it. I saw him kiss you and I turned around and went back to bed.” You continued to stare at the wall and didn’t even try to fight the tears that welled in your eyes. “I didn’t know what it was. I heard arguing and I was just checking on you both. When I looked out you were kissing.”

You tried to fight it. The lump in your throat. Ellie was desperate to explain to you and you knew it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known. But she should’ve known something hadn’t been right.

You sniffed and wiped at your face, flinching away from her hand when she reached for you. You blinked and more tears fell. “You guys were the first. You, Jesse and Dina. I hadn’t even admitted to myself really.”

You sniffed again and wiped under your nose with your sleeve. You probably looked a mess right now but for the first time in your life you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “I uh- I never told my Momma. I didn’t know how she’d feel, always wanted me to find a husband. Give her grandbabies.”

“I told Darwin that I ignored it. That I always knew but I pushed it down.” Ellie stayed silent as you swallowed past the lump in you throat, wiping your eyes roughly with your sleeves. It took you a couple of seconds to get talking again and Ellie stared at her lap, picking her nails. “I told him it was you that helped me realize it. That helped me be confident enough to come out.”

Ellie opened her mouth but you only shook your head, raising you hand to stop her. Your hand was shaking and you clenched it into a fist letting it drop back down into your lap. “I’ve had people tell me I’m too pretty to be gay. I trusted you all to believe me.”

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” Ellie asked in shock and you sniffed again shaking your head. You scrubbed your hand over your face and swallowed past the recurring lump. “That’s what it fucking sounds like.”

“It’s no one faults but Darwin. He shouldn’t have done what he did but didn’t you question it for a second?” You asked her desperately. “Wasn’t there some part of you that wondered why I would do that with him. A man who has a history of being a little too forceful with his come ons?”

“How the hell was I supposed to know you hadn’t changed your mind? You always flirt with him! You were dancing together and you get dinner!” Ellie was yelling now but you didn’t have it in you to yell back. You were so drained of energy. “The short fucking skirts and tight jeans? Your tits are out most of the damn time.”

Ellie covered her mouth when your head snapped to look at her. Your jaw had dropped and your eyes widened as he words sunk in. “So it’s my fault?”

“No- that’s not what I’m-” Ellie stuttered out a half response and you stared at her. Waiting for something different. Waiting for her to explain it.

“You gave me the confidence to come out. To be myself and dress how I like. To not care about people thinking I’m too pretty to be gay. And everyday since you’ve chipped away at that confidence. You can have it all. Just get out of my house.” You spoke evenly but your voice cracked at the end and you swallowed. “Don’t come back. I don’t care if it’s to see Dina, I don’t care if the house is on fire, I don’t care if the walls of Jackson fall down. Just don’t come back.”

“Princess, please-”

“Get the fuck out! Get out now!” You screamed at her and she raised her hands in defense, heading for the door. You watched her leave before curling up on the sofa and crying yourself back to a fitful sleep.

///

“You okay?” You nodded at Dina as you grabbed your bag off the chair in the kitchen. She held out a mug and you sipped at it between attempts to slip into your boots. “New jeans?”

“Don’t.” You hadn’t talked about any of it you didn’t tell her why you argued with Ellie, why she couldn’t come around anymore. You didn’t give any excuse other than the colder weather for the reason you were covered in layers. “I’ve got an early patrol. I’ll make dinner.”

Dina watched you tie your hair back into a loose ponytail at the base of your skull. It hadn’t been curled since that disastrous patrol. Your face was usually free of make up now and Dina finally understood what you had tried to explain.

The beauty was half of who you were. Your sunny disposition was the other half. Without you putting effort into either halves you were just a shell, pushing through each day.

“I’m off today. I can make dinner. We can have some people over. Jesse, maybe Joel and Ellie?” Dina offered and you looked up from your mug, eyes narrowed. “Or not Ellie?”

“I don’t want her in the house, Dina.” You warned her, checking your gun was loaded before tucking it into the holster by your hip. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“If you would just tell me why I could help.” Dina insisted. She stopped in front of you and reached for your arms. You flinched away from her. “You went on patrol and you came back different. Eugene says you shot a stalker and it shook you? Why is Ellie the bad guy?”

“God, Dina! No one is the bad guy, okay?” You snapped, pulling away from her further, taking steps backwards. “It was time I got my priorities in order.”

Dina couldn’t reply before you turned on your heel and left the house, the door slamming behind you. She sighed and watched out the window as you headed for the stables.

Eugene was waiting for you when you arrived, tossing a pair of sunglasses at you. You almost fumbled, catching them at the last second. “Time you stop complaining, ain’t it?”

“Where’d you find ‘em?” You asked, sliding them on against the sunshine. You grinned and Eugene and he smiled back, leading you toward the two prepared horses.

“I didn’t. Someone passed them along for you.” Your grin dropped. You knew what that was code for. You busted a boot a week ago, a new pair waited on the porch in the days that followed. Now there was sunglasses while you were heading out on patrol.

“She should mind her own business.” You didn’t take the sunglasses off though. You needed them and they were a rarity these days. You pulled yourself up onto your horse, patting Henry on his neck as you headed for the gates.

“Think she feels bad. Don’t know why, ain’t her fault. Ain’t anyones fault. Accidents happen on a patrol, you shot the stalker. Everyone survived.” Eugene muttered waving the guards of the gate off. You nodded at Jesse when he shouted his goodbye.

“It’s a more personal issue.” You explained and Eugene nodded. You didn’t elaborate further and let him draw his own conclusions.

The patrol went easy, it was more a chance to enjoy the sun while riding through the forest. At the last outpost Eugene pulled his horse to a stop and you copied him, lifting your sunglasses to watch him.

“I told them we’d be late back. That we’d have a stop to make.” He offered you a grin and you took him up on that grin, turning your horse to where you knew he wanted to go.

///

You tossed yourself down on the sofa hand extended towards Eugene. He only laughed at you but he did in fact hand over the joint. You inhaled deeply from it and coughed a little.

“Doing God’s work, you know that?” You asked him with a sigh, tilting your head back to look at the ceiling above you.

“Feel like if anyone could do with some relaxin’ then it’d be you.” Eugene sat back on a stool, his own joint between his lips. “Now tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head, Princess.”

“It’s fucking stupid.” You sighed before inhaling again. You counted the cracks in the ceilings before throwing your arm over your eyes. “Darwin crossed a line. A big line.”

“Explained Joel near breaking his nose.” Eugene replied. You hadn’t seen Darwin in the month or so since that patrol but the rumors had reached you that he had returned with a bloody and bruised nose. “He hurt you?”

“He kissed me. Tried to prove some point that I didn’t like men cause I hadn’t tried them.” You explained and Eugene scoffed.

“I ain’t tried men and I sure as shit know I don’t like ‘em. Why would anyone want a man when there’s women?” Eugene asked. You couldn’t help but laugh at him, nodding in agreement. You inhaled again from the joint and lifted your arm to look at Eugene.

“Ellie, well she, I mean. You know how I felt about her, right?” You asked and Eugene only rolled his eyes releasing a puff of smoke. “I mean everyone knew how I felt. I loved her, I think.”

“Yeah, you’d have to be blind not to see it. That past tense is throwing me off though.” Eugene admitted. “What’s caused that?”

“Well she, I mean she saw it right? And she just thought I was kissin’ him. But she knew. Knew I didn’t like men. But she just went back to sleep. Now I ain’t blamin’ her. I ain’t. But why would she do that?” You asked Eugene. “I was just sitting there and he was holding me so I couldn’t pull away. She didn’t even try.”

“Sounds a lot like blame to me.” Eugene huffed and you frowned at him. “Probably sounded like it to Ellie too.”

“I’m not blaming her. I’m blaming Darwin. He’s the one who did it, he’s the one who hurt me.” You argued. “But she didn’t even second guess it.”

“You’re embarrassed. You never let Ellie see you anywhere less than perfect. Suddenly she sees you at the lowest you’ve ever been and you can’t cope with the embarrassment of that.” Eugene ran his fingers through his beard.

“Where in the fuck did that come from?” You asked in shock, sitting up on the couch. “You got a psychology degree or some shit?”

“I got life experience.” He rolled his eyes like it was obvious. “You can’t blame Ellie for Darwin’s actions.”

“I can blame her for her reaction. She said it was my fault, that I led him on. The way I acted and the way I dressed. Like I was asking for it.” You told him with a huff, inhaling one last time. “I shouldn’t have to dress a certain way to be safe.”

“No. You shouldn’t. But we also shouldn’t be stuck on this doomed rock fighting fucking monsters. Things aren’t always as they should be.” He sighed and you pouted at him. “Wearing the clothes you do makes you a target. Now it shouldn’t but it does. Being nice to Darwin though, that’s not leading him on. You were just tryna be his friend.”

“So now I have to dress like this all my life so men don’t think they got a right to me? I gotta forget what my momma thought me? Stop being pretty?” You asked and Eugene shrugged. “I don’t want to do that.”

“You already did. You don’t do your hair or makeup anymore. You’re wearing baggy clothes now.” Eugene pointed out and you sighed. He wasn’t wrong. “The thing is though. You’re still pretty. You’re beauty wasn’t cause a some powder or some curls. Your beauty comes from being the sweet girl you are.”

“You’re a sap.”

“Blame the weed.”

///

“I’ve got a present.” You could still feel the effects of the joint, partly responsible for your good mood when you stepped inside. You kicked off your boots and dropped your bag, passing the living room and heading for the kitchen only to pause and take two steps back.

Ellie was sitting on your sofa. Alone.

“Where’s Dina?” You asked quietly and Ellie shrugged, her lips pursed. “Thought I told you not to come around no more.”

“Dina said you changed your mind. To wait for you to get home so we could talk.” Ellie pushed herself up off the sofa. "But I'm guessing that's not true because it's not the kind of conversation to be had while high."

"Obviously it's not true. Didn't realize I'm not allowed to smoke. Guess I can't be pretty or fun anymore." You scoffed, shaking your head. "For someone who doesn't want to date me, you sure have a lot of expectations."

"I didn't say you couldn't be fun. I shouldn't have said what I said. I was wrong for that." Ellie sighed. "But I never said I didn't want to date you."

"Ellie, it might have taken me a while but I'm not an idiot. I get all dressed up so you'll look at me. I curl my hair hoping you'd run your fingers through it. I wear lipstick hoping I'll smudge it against your lips. I loved you and you never even looked at me twice." You sighed and stepped closer to Ellie. "You made me doubt my worth."

"Why would I need to look twice?" Ellie asked, a disbelieving laugh on her lips. She stepped closer to you, tilting her head and looking you over from head to toe. "I never looked away the first time."

"Oh."

Oh.

You swallowed nervously when she stepped closer, her hand landing on your hip softly to pull you the final step closer. You looked down at her hand and back up to her eyes. She was watching you, watching your reaction.

"I was trying to be better. Men look at you like they own you. People treat your beauty like it's theirs to take. I wanted to be better." She explained, barely a whisper. "I wanted you to know I liked you despite how tight your jeans were and how short your skirts were."

"How noble of you." You tried for sarcasm but it fell flat. "You could've just explained."

"I could've. Every time I tried I just sounded like an asshole." She shrugged and you swallowed, your mouth and throat dry. She was leaning in when you stepped back.

"I'm high. We shouldn't kiss like this." You whispered and Ellie nodded. She lifted a hand, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear with a small smile. "But I do wanna kiss you."

"How about you come find me when you're sober then?" She asked and you nodded, leaning into her hand. "We'll see about smudging some of that lipstick."

///

"Heading out, don't know when I'll be back." You yelled, hopping around to pull your boots on at the front door. You weren't quick enough and Dina leaned against the frame of the living room door, looking you over.

"You look hot," Dina observed and you nodded, fixing your hair in the mirror by the door. "Where are you headed?"

"Momma wouldn't ask me that, bless her soul." You huffed a laugh and swung your bag over your shoulder. "You and Jesse have manners while I'm gone, ya hear me?"

"You didn't answer the question!" Dina yelled and you opened the door, turning to look at her over your shoulder. "Where're you going?"

"Out, don't wait up, Mom." You called hurrying down the porch steps and getting away from her invasive questions. She knew where you were going. She had to. Ellie had been allowed back into the house and the pair of you were dancing around each other all week.

Ellie opened the garage door the second you knocked and you smiled brightly at her as you passed by her to get inside. You had been in Ellie's garage more times than you could count but you had never seen it so tidy.

"You clean up just for me?" You asked her as you dropped your bag by the end of her sofa. She rolled her eyes and shut the door but you could see the blush on her cheeks. She was embarrassed and it was oddly sweet.

"You dress up just for me?" Ellie asked, eyebrows raised. You on the other hand were prepared for her question. You nodded and held your arms out, a slow twirl just for her. You had no doubt she was getting the best view. "Damn, Princess.”

“It’s nice to have you appreciating me for once.” You hummed, finishing your twirl and leaning back against the arm of her sofa. “Make sure you get a good look.”

“For once?” She asked as she stepped away from the door and towards you. You only pursed your lips to hide your smile. “I once fell off Shimmer cause I was too busy staring at your ass.”

“You said your stirrup snapped!” You laughed in delight. She only rolled her eyes as she stepped closer. You spread your legs so that she could stand between them. “Tell me more.”

“That black eye I had two months back?” She asked and you nodded. “The door of the diner swung back and hit me because you had that tied off blouse on.”

“You liked that one?” You asked with a grin and she nodded, her hand coming to rest on the bare skin on your waist between your shorts and your top. “What about this one?”

It was a ribbed camisole that you had tucked up to leave your navel on display. Ellie took care to run her thumb under the fabric of it and let her hand slide from your waist across your stomach. She tapped her finger on the button of your shorts.

“Embroider these yourself?” She asked and you nodded in excitement, your fingers tracing down over the star embroidery.

“My momma thought me. And I have this book that helps with anything she didn’t get to teach me. It’s actually not so bad. And it’s a real constellation its-”

“Cassiopeia.” Ellie finished for you, her fingers following your path and tracing the familiar constellation. “I had a bit of a space thing for a while. Wanted to be an astronaut.”

“My momma found this Barbie doll for me once. It was Astronaut Barbie. She had this pink suit and she was so pretty and I knew if she was pretty and smart then I could be too.” Your voice grew quiet at the end and Ellie laughed, her crooked finger lifting your chin.

“That’s real cute, baby.” She teased and you chewed on your bottom lip. “So now you’re the prettiest girl in Jackson and the best damn tracker I’ve ever seen.”

“Prettiest girl?” You asked, an eyebrow raised. Ellie rolled her eyes and instead of giving in to you fishing for compliments she leaned in and kissed you.

It was only a sweet press of lips, innocent compared to what you had expected. Ellie pulled away only to press a trail of kisses down to your jaw and then followed the bone up to your ear.

“Now we can do one of two things.” She whispered, her teeth nipping at your ear lobe. “We can put on a movie, cuddle under a blanket and make out.”

“What’s my other option?” You asked, your breath hitching as she kissed down the side of your neck. Still just innocent pressed of her lips.

“I take off these pretty little shorts and I fuck you dumb.” Your whole body trembled as she spoke against your collar bone. “Oh you like that idea.”

///

“Please, please.” You’re sobbing at this point, your fingers tangled in Ellie’s hair. She’s been eating you out to the point of two orgasms and she’s only just pushing a finger into you now. “Ellie, please.”

“Please what?” Ellie asks innocently. You look down at her, releasing your death grip of her hair and she looks up at you. Her chin is shiny with you and she licks her lips as you watch. Your head thumps back against her pillows. “Use your words, I haven’t fucked you yet. You can’t be this dumb just from my finger and tongue.”

“Fuck me.” You moaned as she added a second finger. “Need you to fuck me.”

Ellie, never being one to be unprepared, had surprised you. While getting undressed you had found Ellie wearing a strap and it had sped up the whole process of getting clothes off.

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’re ready for my cock, baby.” She hums and you groan, your pussy tightening around her fingers. “Maybe another finger?”

“Ellie, babe, your cock, please. Please.” You were crying actual tears and begging without shame for her. You had wanted it in your since you had found it on her and you were so frustrated you had resorted to tears.

“Oh there’s my big dumb baby.” Ellie teased, withdrawing her fingers. You looked down at her and she was spreading your slick over the head of her cock. “Awh, is my baby crying? Your pussy so needy for my cock that it brought you to tears, huh?”

You could only nod, sniffling. She took your chin between her thumb and finger and tilted your head down so you could watch her cock press into you. “Fucking yes!”

“That feel good?” Ellie asked and you sobbed, pushing down against her slow place. “You gonna fuck yourself on my dick baby? Gonna do all the work?”

“Please. I can. I can ride you.” You offered but Ellie only shook her head.

“Not the first time. I’m gonna fuck you just like this for the first time. Then I’m gonna fuck you in every position you can contort this pretty body into. It’s gonna be a long night baby.” Ellie warned and your eyes rolled back in your head as your third orgasm overtook you.

///

Ellie was lying on her back, one arm behind her head and the other wrapped around you where you lay on her shoulder. She was tracing patterns against your spine and you were trying to guess the patterns but your brain was floating way above your body.

“I like when you dress up. I like how confident you are and how bright you smile when I like what you’re wearing.” Ellie told you quietly. “But like this? Sleepy and a mess. Well I just know I fell in love with that version of you, the morning we argued.”

“Fell in love?” You asked her, your thoughts coming back down to earth. You looked up at her, a slight tilt of your head but she didn’t look at you. “You’re in love with me?”

“How couldn’t I be, baby? A sweet little dumb baby in bed and smart, gorgeous woman who’s a force unto her own out on the streets of Jackson. You don’t make it hard to love you.” She promised, pushing you hair behind your ear.

“You already know I love you too. Even if you do bully me in bed.” You giggled and she grinned at you. “It’s kind of hot actually.”

“Hmm, we’ll explore that another time, get some sleep.” She whispered, ducking down to kiss your forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

[elliespassagerprincess]

Mary - (ellie williams x reader)

for @fleshunger ty for being patient, ily <3

This story is based off the song Mary by Alex G, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading! There is another version to this fic! You can read it here:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: angst.

Summary: in which you left her to rot

authors note: lmao yall probably hate me for posting so much, forgive me pookies, I swear after tomorrow i'll post less....

Mary is the girl that I wanna kiss

She's got big red eyes and big red lips

She's got big sharp teeth and big fat hips

Mary is the girl that I wanna fuck

She's got leather heart and leather gloves

She's the only girl that I wanna love

"I wanna kiss her so bad" Ellie vented to Dina.

Dina rolled her eyes at Ellie.

She was in love. Really in love.

In all the years Dina has known Ellie she has never seen her this down bad.

"What's so special about this girl anyway?" She asked as she took a bite from Ellie's sandwich.

"What type of a question is that?" Ellie asked. She felt disrespected on your behalf.

"She's got beautiful eyes- and she looks good with red lipstick. Even without lipstick, her lips are so kissable"

A small smile appeared on Dina's face as she listened to her friend describe the girl she was so deeply in love with.

"She's got big fat hips too and I just want to eat her-"

"woah Ellie calm down, that's too much information"

Ellie's face went red with embarrassment.

"How'd you meet her" Dina asked.

"at a fruit Market" Ellie replied with a shrug.

Bananas or oranges?

Bananas?

Oranges?

Ellie was currently thinking about what she should get as she stood in front of the fruit stand. Since when was it so fucking difficult to choose fruit?

"If you think harder, much you might explode" she heard someone chuckle next to her.

Ellie turned to where your voice was coming from, her heart rate suddenly increased.

Angles are fucking real.

"um- yeah" Ellie responded awkwardly.

She cleared her throat and she fixed her posture.

"Bananas or orange?" She asked you.

What the fuck Ellie? Why would you fucking ask that?

You turned your head to look at the fruit, before you reached out to grab a banana.

"It looks fresher" you shrugged as you gave the banana to her.

Your fingertips brushed against hers, and a shock of electricity ran through Ellie.

Her palms felt sweaty, she couldn't breathe.

Focus Ellie. Focus.

"Thank you" You gave her a small smile as you started walking away.

'C'mon Ellie make your move' she thought to herself.

"hey wait!" Ellie yelled as you started walking away.

You turned around to look at her.

"Can I have your number?"

"That's fucking cliché" Dina laughed.

"shut up" Ellie muttered annoyed.

The two girl fell into a comfortable silence as Ellie's thoughts wondered to you.

Oh you would've loved this salad. You would've loved this ice tea. Maybe she should've asked you to come out instead of Dina

*ding*

Ellie reached down to grab her phone. It was you.

Her girl.

Not officially her girlfriend yet, but soon.

She clicked onto the notification with your name.

"Come over please"

fuck yes

Ellie jumped up, and she looked at Dina with a grin.

"My girl is looking for me"

Dina laughed at her friends excitement.

"go get her tiger"

Ellie gave Dina a hug as she ran towards your apartment.

Today she felt confident. Today she was the day she was going to ask you to be her girlfriend. You messaging her was a sign from the gods above.

Ellie's legs were hurting, and she was out of breathe but she was on her way to finally tell the girl of her dreams that she was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Listen to me, baby, I don't mind

I wanna be with you and waste my time

Give it to me, baby, I feel good

I wanna feel whatever you think I should

Sing it for me, baby, play my song

I wanna hear your daddy sing along

Mary is the girl that leaves you to rot

She says, "I am real and you are not"

She says, "I am real and you are not"

Ellie knocked at your front door.

She kept knocking and she's been standing outside of your apartment for the last 10 minutes.

Where were you? Maybe you were laying dead on the floor?

Ellie knocked and knocked but yet you never came.

Was this a prank?

She held the doorknob as she opened the door.

It was open this whole time.

Ellie slowly walked into your apartment, and she looked around the place you called home.

It felt oddly empty.

The little trinkets you kept around was all suddenly gone.

The apartment filled with so much life at one point, suddenly dull and lifeless.

Ellie's eyes went around the room and her eyes landed on a white envelope.

On the front was your pretty handwriting and Ellie's name decorated the front.

With shaky hands Ellie picked it up, and she opened it.

Dear Ellie

Or should I say banana girl?

She chucked remembering your first interaction.

I'm sorry for what I'm about to tell you, please don't hate me. I truly never wanted to hurt you Ellie. But I know you have feelings for me. I don't feel the same way. I never wanted to reject you, because I valued our friendship too much. So for the sake of your feelings, I left. I changed my number, so you wont be able to message me. I'm sorry Els.

I love you.

Ellie didn't realize that she started shaking till she finished reading the letter.

She tore the letter apart and her knees buckled.

She fell to the ground sobbing.

You made feel so alive, but you just killed her again.

All the love Ellie had for you was rotting away into hated.

She loved you so much but you left her to rot.

[coeurify]

perfect girl II | ellie williams.

tlou2 ellie williams x fem!reader. college modern au universe. part one here. part three here. not heavily proofread. 6.6k words

after the first time you hooked up, resident university dealer ellie williams cant keep away from you, despite your avoidance.

this has smut, 18+ only. mean!reader , mean!ellie. sort of dom/sub dynamics. name calling, lots of fighting. they fuck instead of talking through the tension. oral!ellie receiving, thigh riding!reader receiving. slight choking. just lots of filth.

It had been two weeks. Fourteen days to be exact. 3 parties had passed by that time. You went to none of them.

Two weeks after you walked out of that room from that frat party, tugging your skirt down and avoiding as many prying eyes as you could until you were out the door, a certain university drug dealer hot on your tail.

Fourteen days since you let Ellie leave you at the door of your sorority with nothing more than a thank you for getting you home. The cold walk back to campus had been enough to send you into avoidance mode. You slept alone that night, and dreamt of what happened. Over and over.

Three parties passed, and you avoided going to each one. One was a day after the incident, and you used the excuse of studying to hide out in your room with a sweatshirt that covered the marks on your neck. Mostly however it was so you didn’t have to meet her eyes.

The second and third party you avoided were last weekend’s. You got side eyes from certain sorority sisters when you denied going— this time under the guise of being sick. Really though, you were sick. Sick from the way that stupid green eyed girl would not leave your mind. Sick of revisiting how it felt to be putty in her fucking hands. How it felt to be so close to her, the sound of her fingers moving through your folds. It never left your mind.

It was ridiculous, you had told yourself that over and over. She wasn’t worth your time of day. Was not worthy of the space in your mind she occupied. But it didn’t help. You still found every waking moment consumed by her.

By the time of tonight's party, what would be the fourth you had bailed on.. only Dina popped her head in to ask you to go. Of course you refused, which now left you in the almost completely empty sorority house.

Maybe it made you a bad sorority member to do this, to avoid what was essentially your duty. But none of the girls wanted to deal with your ever growing attitude and sharp glares when it was brought up. So you were not poked and prodded for answers to your sudden refusal.

Currently laying on your bed, you rubbed a hand over your tired eyes. The blanket beneath you shifted as you turned, annoying you. You needed to find a distraction— something to keep your mind from wandering to wondering what a certain somebody might be doing at the party happening right now. You found yourself surveying your room in search of anything to clean to appease this.

The lights dangling across your walls lit the small area a warm golden, showcasing the neat and clean walls and dressers. You barely had anything hanging from your walls.. spare a few photos and a calendar labeled with pink pen marks. Not a single thing was out of place or messy. Just like your appearance, you pride yourself on an absolutely perfect living space. Books tucked into shelves by color. Clothes hung in your closet by type and size. Even your desk had no sign you were an overly stressed university student.

You raise yourself from the plush pillow on your bed, tying your hair into a neat ponytail as you stand. You get to work quickly. You rearrange the soft colored comforter to be even.. styling the pillows to appear untouched. It wasn’t like anyone would ever see it, but the perfection of it all gave you a sense of calm nothing else could.

Looking too long made you think of the dark blue blanket on that bed, on being fucked into the much stiffer mattress. God, the thought made shame boil up in your stomach. Unable to tell if that shame came from the act itself or the absolute zero contact that followed it. Not wanting to think about it, you move to the desk in your room, grabbing a folder to tuck it away.

The only noise is the wooden floorboard that creaks under your feet— otherwise completely silent. There aren't many times like this when you live in a house full of young adult women, so you welcome the silence happily.

However, it isn’t quiet for long. You can hear the telltale sound of the large wooden door up front slamming open. It springs a frown to your face as you quickly glance at the small alarm clock on your desk. It was only around Ten, no way were the girls home already.

The noise continues, footsteps much too noisy to be any of your friends stomping up the stairs and down the hallway. You pause as they get closer.

A million options race your mind at what may be happening. Dina coming home early after a fight with her boyfriend Jesse. Another member sneaking a boy into her room (which was heavily against the rules from your sorority leaders..). Maybe even an axe murderer. When they harshly knock at your door, you begin to lean toward the third option.

Not a single pocket of your mind however thought of what came next.

“Open your door.”

It’s loud and angry sounding, and very obviously Ellie’s voice.

The folder in your hand drops to the ground, and you scramble to pick it up as quietly as possible. You don’t answer at first, though you guess she could have heard the squeak that passed your lips when her fist slammed again on the door.

“I know you’re in that room. Your name is on the fucking door, just open it.”

The tone leaves little room for you to get out of the situation, so you instead quickly tug your sleep shorts down to cover more of your thighs and walk to the door. Taking a deep breath in to compose yourself, you shuffle slightly. You do your best to fall into that attitude you always had with her as your fingers graze the doorknob. But it’s a bit harder this time to play the stone cold bitch when all that annoyance had been replaced with a sickening sort of need that you tried desperately to ignore.

Still, you put a tight lipped frown on your face as you open the door. “What the fuck do you want Ellie?”

Ellie looks at you, still wearing her jacket and backpack she brought to parties to sell her weed. She looked good, even dressed as messily as this. The backpack clued you into the fact she may have left the party, but you can’t fathom why.

Her cheeks are a shade of red that you hadn’t ever seen before. Her lip is bitten raw— which makes you queasy if you think about it too long. Her hair is tugged into that style that you so desperately hate again. It’s the first time in weeks you had seen her face, and it all makes you so dizzy.

“What the fuck do I want? That's how you wanna greet me after this shit?” Ellie scoffed, pulling you out of your mind. “Let me in your room.”

You shake your head, crossing your arms and standing directly in front of the gap in the door.

“Let me in the room or I swear to fucking god I will scream so loud everyone on the block will know i’m here.”

The childish comment makes you roll your eyes, comforting yourself in the familiar fire it brings about. You settle into it easily, like a blanket over frozen skin. It's much easier than whatever your emotion surrounding her has been lately. You can work with this. You can keep her away with this.

“Fine, but you can’t have that in my room, it smells like weed.” You motion your head to her bag, still vehemently against that awful smell that you had grown accustomed to smelling on her the past months.

Ellie was not exactly in the mood to take orders from you, as the weeks of anger from your ghosting was now spilling over like boiling water in a pot. Ever since that night she had been tightly wound up. Your missing appearances at the parties only made it worse.

But still she shrugged the backpack off of her shoulders, harshly shoving it to the ground outside your door and stepping in as you tried to protest the sorority girls seeing it.

She didn’t listen to any of your words, slamming the door shut behind you two, taking in your room with a quick glance. “Tell me why you’re avoiding the parties.”

Having Ellie in your space made you itchy all over— you picked at the skin of your nails to calm yourself. You eyed the way she stepped, watched her look around at your belongings. Of course you didn’t answer her question . “Can you avoid the rug if you aren’t gonna take off your shoes? It’s white.”

Ellie looked at you straight in the eyes as she raised her foot and stepped onto the carpet. You bit the inside of your cheek.

“Answer my fucking question.”

“Get off my fucking carpet,” you retort, crossing your arms over your chest again. You were both being childish now, a trait that only seemed to come out of you around her.

Ellie again went directly against what you asked. Instead stepping over your carpet again to make her way toward your neatly tucked in bed. She looked at the colors there, gentle pastels and whites. It doesn’t surprise her. Just as soft as you. But that also isn’t what she's here to focus on.

“Answer me,” she asks again, this time just a tad softer.

You refuse to meet her eyes— instead moving to finally put your folder back in its place on your shelf. You stay silent as your mind works through what to say next.

“Are those fucking color coded?”

You shoot a glare at Ellie, but it doesn’t work on her. It never really has. She doesn’t look away like any other college kid would around you. She just looks straight back.

“I’m sick Ellie, that's why I haven’t been to parties. I also happen to actually care about my grades and studying unlike you.”

The jab falls from you too easily. You almost feel bad for it, but Ellie doesn’t seem phased. She looks at the pictures near your bed, and then back to you. Standing directly across from you now, she takes another moment to answer.

“That’s bullshit and you and I both know it.”

Shrugging, you turn back to your desk. “Don't know what you mean. I have no reason to lie.”

You can hear Ellie make a noise behind you, and you just know she’s shaking her head in that disbelieving way.

“No reason, really Y/N?” Her voice is near now— almost like she’s stepping closer. You breathe in sharply and try to busy yourself fixing pens on your desk. Her calling you by name almost shakes you as much as her being here in the first place. No nicknames you claimed to hate.. just a harsh tone.

You can’t answer, shaking your head. You just need a moment to collect yourself, to find something inside that can make you strong enough to face her and tell her to get the fuck out.

You are not given that chance, a wandering hand moving to the hem of your tanktop to stop you from moving. It makes the top feel much too revealing now, goosebumps popping up on your arms immediately. The hand moved to turn you around. You go without a fight. But your palms grip the wood of the desk behind you when you are met with Ellie’s close by frame. It feels too reminiscent of you pressed against the edge of that bed in the frat house. You focus your eyes behind her to at least find solace in not having to meet her gaze.

“Nothing of importance happened at the last party you went to?” She pried, “Nothing to make you nervous to go to the next?”

“Nope.”

Ellie seemed to absolutely hate that answer, rolling her eyes and letting her hand fall from its place on your skin.

“Still a bitch I see. You leave me on your doorstep after I fuck you, and then completely avoid me for weeks? Now you have the damn nerve to act like none of it happened?”

The way she says the words makes you want to fall in on yourself. Ellie sounds angry still, undoubtedly. But there’s something else there.. something that sounds like hurt.

“It was just a hookup, Ellie. You have no right to show up here. You said I needed to get laid, so I got laid. Didn’t think it was mind blowing enough to warrant a response like this.” You motion to her.

The words are said in an even tone— desperately trying to cling to any semblance of nonchalantness. But it's mean, you know that. To act like it meant little more than if you had jumped the bones of one of those frat boys who clawed after you. It was harsh to act like that hadn’t been the best fucking sex of your life. But mean and harsh was what you were best at when it came to Ellie.

The sentence didn’t have the intended effect on Ellie though, who knew your tricks too well to actually feel wounded. No, it just made her more fucking frustrated with you. On how you could try and deny how much of a mess she had made you. There was no way you had forgotten, she sure as hell hadn't. “Right. Not mind blowing enough but it made you run scared from any party I may be at.”

“You think too highly of yourself Ellie. It hasn’t crossed my mind once.” It’s obviously a lie as soon as you say it. The way your voice wavers enough for Ellie to pick up on leaves no room to deny it.

She watches you, jaw tensing. Her eyes shift around and you can tell she’s mulling over her next decision.

When she finally speaks, it's in an annoyingly high pitched tone. “Oh Ellie please touch me,” she begins taunting.

You shove her away quickly, a fast flame rising in your stomach. You know exactly what she’s doing. How could you forget those words?

She doesn’t stop, placing a hand on her chest as she continues to speak. “No one else ellie,” she pulls out a faux moan that makes you want to slam your head into the desk. “Wanna make you feel good, el..” she continues to recount your own words back at you in a whiny tone.

It works, the mocking she’s doing. Shame bubbles up in you and pulls at each nerve on your body. You feel hot all over, stomach churning and feet pressing heavily into the floor under you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you demand, slapping her arm as you puff little angry breaths out. Her posture is less tight now, the embarrassing joke seeming to calm her. Of course it did.

Ellie doesn’t stop, the sting of the slap only drawing her close to you again. A smile dawns on her freckled face as she continues her teasing. The quick switch from steadily angry and serious to this.. it throws you for a loop.

“Had you fucking crying for me, princess. Now you wanna act like it was some subpar hookup?”

Your mind tries to straighten out your thoughts, pick through your brain to find a worthy retaliation. But there is none. She had you snared tightly in this trap. You had no fucking way out. No snarky remark could free you from the powerless feeling currently falling over you. Your heart pulses under your tight chest and you can only manage a scoff in response.

It amuses Ellie enough to draw a laugh from her. One completely at your expense. “What? Can’t deny it?”

When you resort to silence and a mean look, Ellie smiles widely. “Don’t even need you to say it, I got the answer I was looking for. Its driving you fucking crazy that you liked it so much? Right? Can’t stop thinking about it?” Her feet drag closer, finger moving to grace over the goosebumps on your arm. “Avoid coming to parties ‘cause you know I’ll be there right baby?”

The way she coo’s the pet name makes you want to wobble. But you refuse to give in.

“Too scared you’d want me again? That it wouldn’t even take you ten minutes to be begging at my feet to steal you off to a bedroom?”

You try to turn your chin away and avoid her seeing your blush, but she grabs your face so you have to look at her.

“You know how easy it was to make you all pathetic, princess? You knew it wouldn’t be hard to get you all whiny like that again, Didn’t you?”

You shake your head to deny it, but the way you tremble under her touch gives it away.

“I should leave you here, you know? Get you all worked up then walk off. Just like you did to me.”

Something blossoms in you to hear her admit you got her worked up. That you had affected her even a fraction as much as she had to you. You swallow it down like nails in your throat, gulping.

She pauses her constant stream of taunts to look down at your shirt and shorts. So pretty and expensive. So you. Now it was her turn to shift uncomfortably.

“If you don’t want this, tell me to stop.” She’s speaking lowly— cutting off her words before they can seem desperate. She wants this just as badly as you try to deny you do, and you know that. You know you have a moment to decide your next course of action. To scream at her to get off you, to kick her to the curb and protect yourself from the mess sure to follow whatever would happen. You knew there was no going back if you did this again.

You don’t. You don’t say a single fucking thing. And that’s plenty of an answer for Ellie. She moves quickly to remove the hand from your chin— instead moving it to your shoulder. “Get on your knees.”

The demand finally gets words out of you, eyebrows furrowing. “Huh?”

“Get on your knees.” she repeats. Ellie’s tone is harsh again, back to whatever space she seems to enter around you. She pushes you a bit— showing exactly what she wants you to do.

It doesn’t take much of a shove to fall to the hard wood of the floor. She didn’t even move you to the carpet. Fucking dick.

You try to bite back the overwhelming shame it gives you to look up under your lashes at Ellie. She watches you, waiting for you to adjust as she walks around you to lean against the desk.

“You remember what you said before I took you home? That you wanted to make me feel good?” Ellie hums, tilting her head down at you.

“Stop bringing that up,” you grit.

“You aren’t exactly in the position to be making demands, princess.” She brings her foot forward to tap your knees gently.. reminding you of the fact you are quite literally beneath her.

“You owe me, got me so fucking worked up y’know?” Her hand moves down to work on the button of her old jeans. The realization of what was coming shakes you, heart jumping into your throat.

You don’t answer, instead watching as she motions to you. “C'mere baby, take my pants off for me.”

It feels demeaning, the way you crawl forward slightly to be directly at her feet. Staring at her, you make a small groan, hoping she may spare the embarrassment.

It was embarrassing nonetheless, even more so when she shook her head and again motioned for you to move. It made you sick how easily you had fallen to your knees. Figuratively and literally. How quickly she had coaxed submission out of your usually stubborn demeanor was almost pathetic. You do it anyway, manicured fingers raising to the denim and pulling it down with a blush. You pull them from her legs and watch as she kicks them into a pile with her shoes. On top of your white carpet of course.

You look up at her again, watching as her expression changes at this sight. “So fuckin pretty on your knees for me baby.”

The praise makes you squirm— the warmth now radiating into your lower belly.

“Want you to make me feel better. Think I deserve that after you leave me high and dry hm?”

It’s true, even more so than you would like to admit. It was a total asshole move to ghost her after both of you implied there would be something more. Right now it isn’t a very serious dig— not when she knows what's coming.. but it still has you feeling desperate to make up for it.

It takes a lot to force the next words out of your throat, “Yea.” The one word feels like admitting you were wrong, that she had the power. So it's hard to say, still ruled by the embarrassment all of this situation brings.

She debates forcing you to say more, but you still seem to be only dipping into that pool of submission you had been in last time.. so she gives you a moment.

“Want you to let me fuck your face, can you do that for me?”

You want to stand up right then. You want to refuse to do something so degrading, you want to ignore the way the words make you feel. But you can’t. Not right now. Not for her.

However she won't get an answer out of you, just a nod of permission. The silence annoys her, hand moving to pull at your tied up hair in response despite promising herself a slow start. “Stop the silent act, answer me. Tell me you want this.”

You clench your jaw, not ready to give in. When she gives another tug to your hair, this one harsh enough to pull a yelp from you.. it makes you change your mind.

“Yes Els, I want this, I want to make you feel good.”

The words start off quietly, still finding your footing to avoid burning alive from embarrassment. But as you continue, as you watch the way she seems so pleased to hear it.. It becomes easier. It's more natural when you add in another, “please.”

How she had this pretty little stuck up sorority girl wrapped around her finger was enough to make her wet, but the way you stared up at her, mouth slightly agape upon seeing the black boxers she was wearing, god did it make it even better.

“Alright princess, open your mouth ‘n stick out your tongue for me,” Ellie requests, pulling her boxers off as you do so. It feels too wrong to steal any glance at her body.. despite how you wanted to. It was more than you had ever seen, as she was completely dressed when she had gotten you in a position like this before. Surprisingly having been the put together one in that situation.. and you had an inkling it would end similarly today.

But you can't help it, eyes following her movement as you come eye to eye with her glistening centre. If you had been more mouthy still- you would have made a comment about how wet she was. But the sight renders you speechless. Licking your lips as you squeeze your own thighs together. “Ready?” she asks— tone too even, mouth too harshly pulled into a straight line. The auburn haired girl is trying far too hard to act unaffected by you under her.

Her tattooed hand grips your hair even tighter, a burning sensation pulsing through your scalp as she pulls you closer. You welcome the pain and the dizzying sort of calm it lulls you into. Nodding, you open your mouth again to please her.

Another second passes and then she’s pressing down into you, your nose bumping her throbbing clit. It again makes another pulse of confidence run through you at the undeniable sign she needed this. Needed you.

You make quick work of kitten licking over her slit, happily drinking down the wetness there. You hear small grunts above you, and know you’re doing the right thing as you press your face further in to collect more of her taste on your tongue. You don’t care that your knees already hurt, or about the pain in your neck from leaning it back this much. Ellie certainly didn’t either as she began rocking against your lips. She trembles over you as your nose bumps into her clit again.

“Fuck, shoulda done this earlier. So much better with your mouth like this. No bitchy comments to make, hm?” Ellie says into the air, trying to hold back noises. Your eyes catch as she tilts her head back and speeds up her pace though. You flatten your tongue against her, letting her take control now.

“Shit,” she grunts again, face screwing up as she pulls your hair back and forth to move with her. Your comfortability goes completely out of the window when her stomach starts to tighten. Ellie is moving harshly against you, not caring that she's spreading her wetness all across your chin and mouth— not stopping when you start to gasp for air.

Your nails move to grip into her thigh, leaving little crescent moon shapes there. It doesn’t slow her down, more continuous grunts falling from her bitten lips. Desperate to hear more of the sounds you suck up the suffocating feeling. If you were to die here, it would be fucking happily. You continued to try your best to lap at her even with the rapid movements.

Her hips stutter, finally pushing a full moan out of her. It’s music to your ears, ringing through your mind. “Jesus, baby,” she continues, pausing on her words for another moan. You hear a slight whine there, one that makes you go unsteady. “Just like that princess, gonna come in your mouth. Fuck, I cant believe i got you like this.”

The blunt and dirty words make you whine against her, begging with more scratches down her thighs for it. for her.

Seeing you worked up over just giving her pleasure, it sends that final shockwave through her and her hips completely stop. She pulls on your hair with her fist enough for you to cry out as she works herself through the orgasm. She rocks her hips slowly for a few seconds after that, watching on as you try desperately to collect all that you can from her slit. It almost makes her come again to see it. To see how obsessed you are with her. How you searched for more

When she pulls you back by your ponytail, your chin is shiny with her. You want to complain, want to press forward and make her come again. But you can't make any words, not when she breathes out to steady her chest. Not when her hands shake as they let your hair go, moving to pull up her boxers. It tilts your universe completely off axis to see her so close to crumbling, so Un-Ellie like. You wonder if this is how she feels when you fall apart for her. You don't have long to pause on this thought before Ellie is forcing you up onto your feet, laughing when you stumble like a newborn deer.

“Ya look so messy,” she compliments, wiping a hand to clean your chin. Her green eyes meet your glistening lips, and watches as you suck the bottom one between your teeth. It drives her crazy, something telling her she may be addicted to making you fall into a state like this. Just like she had in that frat party.

“Should I leave you like this? Go have a smoke and let you get off on your own?” Ellie questions, moreso to herself. She really should, as a lesson for you. To get back at you for the last time. But god, the way you look at her, completely ready to listen.. How can she resist?

“Fuck you,” you bite— only making her smile more. There you were, even under all that cloudiness Ellie brought over you.. your attitude was still there.

“You just did, pretty,” her finger rubs over your splotchy cheek, no doubt a result from the air you were not getting when your face was pressed between her thighs.

“Ellie..” you mumble, beginning to actually worry she would leave. She had every right to. But the wetness you feel in your panties, the burn between your thighs.. it's making you ready to get on your knees again to beg.

She sighs, walking across your floor until she hits your bed, tumbling back on it. “Hm?”

“Im-” you puff air into your cheeks for a long breath, following her like a lost puppy. It brings that addicting feeling of power back into Ellie’s body, and she lounges herself comfortably on your comforter. “You're what.. tell me..” she tilts her head.

“Ellie cmon,” you can't help the whine to your voice. “I need you.” You mumble as you crawl onto your bed and on top of her. The sight amuses Ellie, who watches you with little interest.

“Dunno, I'm pretty tired,” Ellie shrugs, stretching out and leaning against your pillows. You fight the urge to tell her off for it, much more focused on getting rid of the ache between your legs. you pout, unable to stop it. “El..” you are full out whining now— only further egged on into your desperation when she lets you move to straddle her waiting lap. You want to start moving immediately, but something deeper in you tells you to stay put until Ellie gives you anything.

“I could really go for a joint right now, honestly..” she trails off, meeting your gaze. “Fuck off,” you cant help but say— clawing at your own shirt. You pull it off, tossing it messily onto your floor. It makes your stomach twist for a split second, not taking it to the hamper. But that wasn’t exactly top priority. When the air hits your nipples they hardern immediately, drawing Ellie’s attention.

The green eyed girl’s jaw clicks at your insult, and at how you had shoved your shirt off before she could. She was getting there, really. But you were too impatient, like always.

“I'm not getting you off,” she finally decides, clearly speaking. But she still reaches forward to run a thumb over your peaked nipple, making you involuntarily buck into her. The feeling of your center finding friction on her lap pulls a small sound from you. Ellie hums at how responsive you are, “But you can.”

You aren’t quite sure what she means, but hands quickly come to shift you onto only one of her thighs.. and you quickly understand. “You wanna get off baby? Ride my thigh. Get off all on your own.”

Ellie yawns like she couldn’t care less, leaning back and watching you, fingers rubbing circles on your hips.

“You’re such a fucking dick,” you whine, unhappy you were not getting your own way. Ellie shrugs again, and you want to wipe the pleased look off of her freckled cheeks. She gives you a head start by dipping her fingers into the elastic of your shorts. “Yea.. im an asshole, im a gross drug dealer, you're so much better than me..” she chastises, watching you lift your hips as she pulls the silky shorts and lace panties down your legs. You let it happen all too easily. “But who’s the one pulling off her pretty little pajamas to get off on my thigh?” she questions.

You can't deny that, definitely not as Ellie stimulates the first rock of your hips down against her mostly bare thigh. The feeling washes over you, eyes rolling back. Any grip you still had over yourself and your control is drowned out by the feeling. It’s embarrassing to admit how wet you are, how wet eating her out had made you. Of course she comments on it, always looking to shame you.

“Fuck, can feel you dripping on me princess— always so wet for me, hm? So much for not mind blowing huh?” She asks, letting her hands still so you can continue the movements on your own.

“El..” you gasp, blinking quickly as one hand rests on her shoulder, getting a better angle to let your hips move against her— whimpering at the wet pressure of yourself against her.

Her eyes catch your own, before dropping to where you are rutting down on her thigh. At first you aren’t sure it will be enough— your sore knees now accompanied by burning muscles. But you know this is your only option. It sure does help when she leans forward though, no longer fighting against her want to press lips against your neck.

The marks from last time were now almost completely gone, much to her dislike. This could have been completely avoided if you hadn’t been such a fucking bitch. If you had just gone to the parties and let her leave you with a fresh set of bruises each time.

“Fuck,” you huff when she bites at your skin meanly. Your movements falter from the rush of pain it brings. “Gonna let me mark you up, aren’t you baby? Make sure everyone knows your mine?”

The word mine sends you for a loop, and you pause slightly on it. Too desperate to get off, you don't comment on it. But it makes your stomach do flips, inable to tell if they are good or bad.

The threat is not an option for you, that was clear enough when she doesn't let up the harsh sucks and teeth marks on your throat. “If you fucking cover these up I will do it over and over again,” Ellie threatens, only making you whine louder. Your arm wraps around her back, pulling her even closer into the crook of your neck. She presses comforting kisses there to soothe the burning pain from all the bites.

“Won't,” you promise quickly, grinding even quicker down into her. Neither of you can be sure if you are just saying it in the heat of the moment.. but it affects you both all the same.

What you ask next is a shock to both of you. “Kiss me, El please kiss me,” you beg. Her face pokes out from your neck, questioning your words only for a second. She doesn’t ask before pressing her lips into yours, kissing you for the first time tonight. You’re quick to respond, following her lead in the quickly deepening kiss.

She swallows every single noise you make, tongue swirling around your mouth when you moan into her. Your hips are moving erratically now, your moans getting even louder against the kiss. Ellie kisses you harder, a bruising and hot kiss— both of you gasping against it.

This is far more intimate than the first time you slept together, the way you refuse to pull back from your lips even as you feel your orgasm rising up and up. She doesn’t allow for any room either, eager to bite at your lip, to let her hand move to knead at your tit. The new sensation overhwlems you, a repeated “fuck fuck fuck,” pressing against the kiss as you are finally sent toppling over into an orgasm. Even as it hits you, even as your hips stutter, you don’t pull back from the kiss.

Not until Ellie does first, her hand moving back to your hip when you slow. She forces you hardly back down against you, and your ears ring. “S-stop,” you whine— suddenly far too overwhelmed. Ellie doesn’t listen, guiding your hips to continue grinding down, even in your over sensitive state. She wants to pull another orgasm out of you, and she states so when you try to pull away.

“Dont fucking move away from me,” she demands. “Want you to come on my thigh again. Know you can take it. Know you want it,” she continued, bordering on slurring out the words. The auburnette seems almost as dizzy from this as you are.

You can feel your eyes sting, pussy throbbing against her thigh as she forced you to keep moving, rising to your peak at a record pace. “I can’t,” you babble, shaking your head quickly.

“Of course you can baby, look at the mess you made on me already,” your eyes follow her directions immediately, finding her thigh sticky with your slick. “So messy, so fucking pathetic. Getting off on my thigh, pathetic enough to come again.”

Tears spring to your eyes, stomach clenching. “Fuck, Ellie— fuck,” you cry out, tilting your head back to gasp. With how loud you are, you better hope none of your sorority sisters will be home early. You have no idea how much time had passed since Ellie walked through your bedroom door, but it felt like a lifetime.

Ellie’s free hand trails up your chest, fingers dancing across your collarbone. You just looked so pretty with your already reddening neck.. she couldn’t help as her palm rested on your throat, fingers wrapping around it experimentally. The loud cry the slightest pressure coaxed out of you pushes Ellie to grip harder.

“Of course you like this,” Ellie scoffs, admiring the way your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth falls open to wheeze. “Jesus, you really are such a slut, crying for me to choke you? All fucked out for me?” Ellie bites— but it falls upon fuzzy ears, your senses all going haywire as you sob, unable to catch your breath. It just all feels so amazing. Her thigh, her hand, the way she spits the words at you. You're coming again before you can even say anything, throbbing against her thigh as you fall forward into her, her hand releasing your neck as you do.

Ellie coos against your ear as you tremble through your aftershocks, calling you every sweet name under the sun. “So good for me, my perfect girl, so perfect.”

You cry into her, hot tears against your own cheeks and her neck. You whine sharply when she lifts you off, leaning down to pull off her sweatshirt. It confused you, blurry eyes quickly wiped by her thumbs. “Lay down,” she commands, and you can only babble incoherent begs for her as she stands and searches around your room, sweating as she throws her sweatshirt into the growing pile of clothes.

It leaves her only in her boxers and sports bra , and you watch on in slight amazement as her abs flex as she bends around looking for something. First she tugs her backpack into your room before you can protest. Then she’s back to searching. When she finally finds something to clean her thigh off with, she brings it back to you, wiping you clean again.

Still deep in your sub space, you grasp at her, and she happily complies climbing into the bed, welcoming as you press against her, searching for skin to skin contact.

You aren’t sure what the morning will bring. Not sure how you will feel when you wake up pressed against the one girl you swore to hate at this whole school. But you don't really care. You listen to her slowly lowering heartbeat as exhaustion pulls you into its arms.

You fall asleep against Ellie, and it’s the best fucking rest you have had in fourteen days.

[iovevrse]

freaking love the college basketball player! ellie but what about college volleyball player! reader???? ellie would be gay panicking every game because have you seen those spandex?!?! oh lawd 😩

a/n: ty for requesting this it's so real 😭

ellie x college volleyball player reader headcanons

I like to think ellie wouldn’t care much to go out to school games often until dina made her go to a volleyball game and it completely altered her brain

dina dragged her there to watch a friend play, you, and ellie just could not stop watching

and she definitely felt a little guilty for staring too long at your black spandex shorts 

she just couldn’t keep her eyes from wandering, it was definitely making her panic which didn’t go unnoticed by dina 

as the game was nearing the end ellie begged dina to introduce her to you (she was nearly on her hands and knees) 

you’d gotten a text congratulating your team on the win and asking if you wanted to grab dinner with dina and her (cute and very gay) friend 

the answer ended up being a yes

when you met ellie you were immediately grateful for dina 

she typically had a habit of setting you up with just anybody

so when she said she had a cute friend you didn’t expect it to be an understatement 

as for ellie she felt the same, maybe even felt it harder

you looked much different after you showered and either way, you made her panic 

when she tried to introduce herself she definitely stuttered a bit (you thought it was cute) 

after you started dating she was no longer shy about her staring at your ass anymore 

at games, after practices, and even outside of volleyball anything short you wore just set her 

a lot of people have said this but i truly believe she's the type to fake fuck you from behind whenever you bend over 😭😭

she just really couldn't take her eyes (or hands) off of you even if she wanted to

[camillecrellin]

Polaroids — Ex-girlfriend! Ellie Williams

Synopsis: Ellie is injured on her first patrol back with you, bringing up old memories as you help her.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Gun shot wound, Swearing, Joel hasn't gone golfing with Abby, Ex! Ellie, Kissing, Sex jokes, Lesbians being lesbains.

A/N: I don't know wheater to do a part 2 to this or not. I have never written smut so I feel like it would just turn out shit.

You and Ellie had been dating for a year and half. Three months ago, though, Ellie broke it off. Ellie wanted a break. A time to herself. She doesn’t really remember why she broke up with you. Maybe she feared the commitment or hurting you in the long run.

When Ellie asked you to leave her, you protested but ultimately complied. The last three months had been hard, and Maria had respected that. She didn’t pair you up in Patrol anymore.

Well, that was until today, when Dina called out sick last minute. The only person available was you. And, well, you were mature enough to agree to help.

Put Ellie’s and your differences beside you and do your job. And so, you did, and it was going well. Until you and Ellie stumbled across a group of smugglers.

You had managed to either scare away or kill the smugglers without injury. However, Ellie hadn’t. A bullet straight to the thigh, causing her to be sitting on the floor with you got out the supplies in your backpack and tried to take the bullet shrapnel out of her leg.

“Ow,” Ellie hisses. Her jaw is clenched tight, trying to ignore the burning pain in her leg and she winces. “How bad is it?”

The care you were giving made Ellie think back to her old patrol day with you. She had been the one to push you away. She’d broken up with you, but here you are, fretting over her. She doesn’t deserve you.

The bullet had ripped straight through her thigh, and not even a moment after she’d fallen, you were there. You were always there for her, even when she thought she didn’t need it.

"Not gonna lie... pretty shit." You joke. You try to lighten up the conversation, make Ellie feel at ease. But Ellie scrunches her nose in annoyance at your joke.

The wound was actually pretty terrible, not something to joke about with light-hearted sarcasm.

You took the shrapnel out of her thigh. Disinfecting your hands before starting to bandage up her leg.

Ellie’s eyebrows furrow together as she struggles against the pain in her thigh.

She’d broken up with you, Ellie thinks to herself. She wanted her independence and to be seen as capable on her own. Yet here you are, like always, helping her out of a difficult situation, helping her.

Tying up the bandage tight, you smirk. "But thanks to me, you should be fine."

“Yeah, yeah.” Ellie scoffs playfully, the corners of her mouth curling into a small smile. “Thanks, Doc, what would I do without you?”

She glances up at you, tilting her head to the side like a mischievous child. She can’t help but feel somewhat giddy and at ease with your presence now, even if you’re her ex.

You roll your eyes, and nudge Ellie's shoulder to get her to stand up. "Let's head back to Jackson… Finish early. I'm sure Maria won't mind with your leg and all.”

“Alright, alright.” Ellie groans slightly and straightens up fully, still clutching her wounded thigh.

You hold your hand out, making Ellie let out a small scoff, “I can still walk. I’ll be fine, you know.”

"You're soo stubborn, Els." You mutter as you get on her horses, Iris, not helping Ellie despite knowing it’s probably better for her.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ellie playfully sticks her tongue out at you, but then quickly straightens back up again when the pain in her thigh reminds her to avoid putting more pressure on the leg. She hops up on her own horse, and rides right next to you as you head back to Jackson.

Ellie glances over at you repeatedly, her look soft and sentimental for just a few moments. Even though you guys are broken up, it’s obvious that she still cares for you.

You catch one of Ellie’s stares, making you laugh. "What?" You ask.

Ellie immediately turns her gaze forward, her eyebrows furrowed, and her face flushed with embarrassment. “Uh, nothing.”

She pauses for a moment, but her lips start curling into a small smile again. “I just, uh…” Her voice trails off as she struggles to find words. It’s obvious that she’s been thinking about you.

"You just, uh..." You mock Ellie with a small laugh. "Take a picture, it'll last longer... Oh wait, you still have those polaroids of us up in your room."

“Oh, shut up.” Ellie groans, her face flushed a bright red. “How do you even know that?” She asks, her voice laced with mock outrage.

Ellie knows it’s true, though. She does still have those polaroids. She hasn’t gotten rid of them because they remind her of some of the best times she’d ever had, and she doesn’t want to forget. She isn’t ready to let go of her memories with you, even after the breakup.

"Joel." You plainly answer.

Joel had told you one day a month ago when you two were on patrol together. He kept on mentioning how stupid and desperate Ellie had become since you two broke up. And how you needed to get back together immediately so she wasn’t in his house for the rest of her life.

After the initial shock passes, Ellie groans, her face still bright red. “That bastard,” She curses softly under her breath. “Why would he tell you that of all things?” Ellie asks, but in fact she doesn’t mind all too much that you knew.

"Because I'm amazing and he loves me like a third daughter." You playfully boast.

Ellie laughs again and she hits her hand against your shoulder, and she rides past you now leading the way. “You’re so cocky.”

“Says you!"

“I can back up my cockiness.” Ellie remarks with a grin. “You? Not so much.”

Ellie can’t help but laugh, a small sparkle in her eye as she teases you as you both ride back to Jackson together, the sound of their horses’ hooves clacking against the ground following closely behind.

As Ellie and you enter Jackson, you smile at Maria, telling her about the situation. Turning to Ellie, Maria’s face filled with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah…” Ellie nodded as she came to a halt. Watching you get off your horse, Ellie turned back to Maria. “Just don’t tell Joel ‘cause he’ll either be up my ass for being stupid or be worried sick.”

Maria nodded, walking off as someone came to her with another matter. Making Ellie sighs and hop off her horse, her leg paining her more than before.

“Man, that leg wound might be worse than I thought. I don’t think I can really put much weight on it anymore.” Ellie winces as she limps a little bit, clutching her thigh with her hand.

She looks at you again with a small, sheepish smile. “Could you… I don’t know, help me walk?”

You nod, quickly making your way to Ellie, and place a hand around her waist.

"Pussy." You playfully mutter in Ellie's ear as the two of you start walking.

Ellie scrunches her nose in annoyance at your playful teasing, a light blush forming on her cheeks. But she still leans into you, placing her arm over your shoulder as she walks to rely on your support.

“I’m not a pussy,” Ellie whispers back at you with a small chuckle. “Just helping you do your good deed towards the injured for the day.” She smiles weakly and continues to walk, clearly in a bit of pain.

You notice Ellie's pain, making you ask her, concerned. "You okay?"

“Yeah… no, not really to be honest.” Ellie pauses for a moment. She’d been trying to play off her pain with humour, but it was apparent that she was really struggling.

The pain in her leg was getting worse and worse. She could still walk, but with heavy hesitation and a grimace. She was doing her best to push through the discomfort.

“My leg kinda sucks, honestly.” Ellie shrugs.

You sympathetically smile, tightening your grip of Ellie’s waist, causing you to blush at the close contact. "Luckily for you, your house is less than a minute away."

“Yeah, thankfully.” Ellie replies softly, trying to push through the discomfort of walking.

Once they reach Ellie’s house, she opens up the door and steps inside. She looks back at you, raising an eyebrow. “You’re like my personal wheelchair for the day, huh?” She teases you, a faint smile returning to her face.

"Yeah, how could you live without me?" You sarcastically say as you both make it to Ellie's room, placing Ellie down onto her bed.

Ellie grunts and squirms as she’s placed onto her bed, but then she sighs in relief as the exhaustion and the pain from her leg sets in. She’s been pushing herself beyond her limits.

“Man, my leg hurts like a bastard.” She groans, her face now flushed and red with discomfort. Ellie props her legs up onto her pillows and turns towards you, just as your about to leave the room. “I’m gonna need your wheelchair services some more, probably.”

Reaching for the door handle, you stop. An amused look plastered on your face as you ask, "Is that your attempt at making me stay over?"

"Do you want me to try harder?" Ellie asks playfully, her voice laced with teasing.

"I'm willing to play the pity card and pretend like I'm super hurt and need you to take care of me... or I could flirt with you." Ellie smirks and pushes up onto her elbows. "Your choice, wheelchair girl."

You sigh, not responding to Ellie's last comment, instead you stop yourself from leaving and look around Ellie's room. Coming across the polaroids you were talking about earlier, you picked one up of you two with a laugh. "You sentimental fuck, why do you have one of us kissing?"

Ellie rolls her eyes at your comment, but she can’t help but think back to the moment when you two shared your first kiss. After being best friend since she first arrived in Jackson, you and Ellie had both agreed that you were more than just friends.

Ellie remembers what it felt like to kiss you for the first time, as if you two had sealed this special relationship with a passionate and tender kiss. Ellie can’t deny that the memory, and this picture of it, holds a special place in her heart.

"Oh, shut up." Ellie mutters playfully, only slightly glancing towards you as she blushed.

Rolling your eyes, you pick up the entire pile of polaroids you, Ellie and friends and sit beside Ellie, showing off the one of Ellie, yourself, Dina and Jesse at the Tipsy Bison. "Oh my god, I remember day soo well. Dina was fucking shit-faced."

Ellie starts chuckling at the memory. "Yeah, she really was, wasn't she?"

The four of you had decided to head to a bar together when you were 17. Dina had never really drank alcohol up until this point, and didn't realise how much she could drink before getting tipsy. Soon enough, she was absolutely hammered.

"Hey, do you remember what happened afterwards?” Ellie asks. Her expression is playful and teasing, but you know that she’s genuinely curious and wants you to share this memory with you.

You furrow your brow and shakes you head no.

“You don’t remember what happened after we left the bar?” Ellie asks curiously. The four of you had headed out together, but Dina got so drunk that you had to take care of her. You and Ellie ended up heading back to your place since you were both sober enough to stay up. She’d been staying the night.

Ellie, once again examines your face, and raises an eyebrow at you with a smirking expression on her face. “Or are you pretending not to remember?”

You, indeed, knew of the memory. Biting your lip, you whisper. "Maybe I just want you to tell me."

“Oh, is that so?” Ellie questions playfully. “Well, if that’s what you want, I don’t think I’ll be able to resist telling you.”

Ellie pauses for a moment, her grin growing slightly wider on her face. “So how much detail do you actually want? Because I can go pretty graphic. Proper X rated.” Ellie let out a small laugh.

"Actually, why don't you just show me?" You suggest, leaning into towards Ellie. Your eyes flickering down to her lips, whispering, “Don’t miss a detail.”

Ellie is taken aback for a moment at your suggestion and your sudden proximity, but her eyes eventually meet yours, the blush on her face now spreading across her face. She doesn’t know why, but something about this situation and your question feels strangely intimate. Something about it feels more special and romantic than it probably should.

“Well…” Ellie trails off, hesitating for a moment. “I won’t miss any detail.”

She presses her lips to yours, giving you a gentle, tender kiss. It’s not a passionate, love-filled kiss, but a sweet one. You melt into the kiss and place your arms around Ellie’s neck, while her hands trail under your shirt and around your hips, rubbing circles on your bare skin.

It was just like that night in the polaroid. Ellie didn’t miss a single detail.

[teawithnosugar]

hiii! loooove your writing <3

Would you ever write a one-shot where reader has a bf but is sneaking around with Ellie and Ellie finally gets fed up with it, like why don’t you just leave him?? But then we find out reader is too afraid to dump him because maybe he hurts/threatens reader?

Idk I feel like this could sting but in the best way 🫣

Not Too Late

Ellie x Reader

CW: angst/comfort....I think, abuse, cheating WORDS: 0.9k SYNOPSIS: You aren't as unreasonable as Ellie originally thought SONG: Lover, You Should've Come Over - Jeff Buckley

"Maybe I'm too young To keep good love from going wrong"

AN: I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS, I KNOW I USUALLY GIVE SAD ENDINGS BUT IT FELT WRONG TO NOT GIVE THIS ONE A SOMEWHAT HAPPY END

“Jesus Christ, I remember this…” Ellie said with a grin as she looked at one of the pictures in the photo album you were holding. Together, bare on your bed, you nestled between her legs, her chin resting tenderly upon your shoulder. The warmth of her breath caressed your skin as she nuzzled her nose beneath your ear. You were both looking at pictures from your teenage years, specifically a picture you took with Ellie asleep on your shoulder while both Jesse and Dina drew on her face. You had been friends for years, madly in love for the majority of it. You giggled, smile faltering once you looked outside, the sun was setting which meant your boyfriend Dan would be home soon because unfortunately, the moment you and Ellie confessed your love for each other was 2 months into your relationship with a guy who was relatively new to Jackson.

“Why…why are you still with him?” Ellie asked softly. You both loved each other, she knew you didn’t love him, and you knew she was bound to ask this question sooner or later.

“It’s complicated Els-” 

“It’s not,” you began, only to be interrupted by her swift retort, her tone laced with an icy edge. She was right, you both knew it and she’s been patient with you for the past few months, she had given you the grace of time, patiently awaiting the words you never uttered. 

She untangled herself from you, standing up and picking up her clothes from the floor and starting to dress up. “Els please, give me time-”

“I’ve given you 9 goddamn months Y/N. If you were staying with him because you were pregnant you would’ve given birth by now. Why don’t you just leave him?”

She asked coldly, tying her shoes as she finished dressing up. You stayed quiet, hugging your knees tightly as you stared at the messy sheets. Words lingered on the tip of your tongue, desperate to reveal the way he wields his words like weapons, threatening your very existence. You stayed quiet because, your mind, painting vivid images of the horrors he would inflict on you if you even told him you wanted to leave.

She groaned frustratedly at your silence, walking out of your house and slamming the door shut. You sobbed softly as you started dressing up. She always came back to you after arguments, so you weren’t worried about that. You were just sad because you were hurting her.

When Dan came home, he immediately noticed a flannel on the floor, it wasn’t yours and it sure as hell wasn’t his. There’s no way you got it recently, you had been home for weeks, waiting for the bruises he gave you during your last fight to fade. It’s the reason Ellie even came over, she missed you, and now you missed her.

His fists struck with a brutal force, knocking you to the floor. Frozen in fear, you lay there, limp and defenseless—your body's automatic response. He unbuckled his belt then used it as a whip, the deafening sound the leather made against your skin filled your ears. Shades of crimson danced upon your flesh, an artist's palette of pain. And still, he persisted. When the belt had worn out its cruel dance, he returned to using his bare fists. Amidst the assault, thoughts slithered, attempting to justify his actions, to find reason in this madness. ’Maybe I’m disappointing him? Sometimes men get carried away when they feel like they should be having fun’ Such thoughts whispered in the recesses of your mind, clinging desperately to a semblance of understanding.

Minutes stretched into an eternity as you lay on the floor, broken and bruised. Tentatively, you rose, your trembling form cleaning the bloodstains from the floor, your body seeking refuge beneath the cascading water of the shower. This had become your grim reality—a cycle where beatings transformed from rare occurrences to nightly rituals upon Dan's return. He drained you of strength, providing the bare minimum sustenance required for survival, keeping you physically weak, your spirit tethered.

Days melted into one another, your existence confined to a bedridden state, waiting for Dan's return, awaiting his whims and desires. Initially, your thoughts lingered upon the pain you caused Ellie, but as your senses dulled over the weeks, those thoughts waned. They were replaced by an ache, a longing to see her face, to feel her presence. Dan's venomous threats reverberated in your ears, yet whenever you closed your eyes, all you could see was Ellie, her face shining like a beacon in the darkness.

She’ll come back, she always comes back.

Exhaustion seeped into your bones, prompting you to seek solace in sleep, still dressed in your sweater and pajamas. You saw her beautiful face, leaning close, whispering words that were muffled by the buzzing in your ears. A tender smile graced your lips as you beheld her beauty, there was no sight more enchanting. Once the grogginess and the buzzing in your ears faded, you realized this wasn’t a dream.

“Baby are you okay? Can you hear me?”

“Els…?”

If you were in the right state, you would have enveloped her in your arms, holding her close. You would have nestled into her chest as she gently lifted you up. You would’ve seen Dan’s unconscious body by the doorframe of your bedroom. You would’ve noticed the relief on her face because she realized just how much worse you would’ve been if she hadn’t mustered up the courage to try talking to you again. You would’ve noticed the tears threatening to fall down her face because she wasn’t too late.

[gold-dustwomxn]

Ok unpopular opinion but I’m gonna rant bc I love to analyze and it’s fun. I don’t think Ellie is the loser that some people portray her as. I’d say regarding love and feelings she’s pretty normal for a 19 year old.

I feel like she wasn’t sure if Dina liked girls, was scared to jeopardize their friendship, Jesse was her best friend + Dina’s relationship with him was always on and off (for years).

After the dance, the next day Ellie was under the impression that Dina regretted the kiss so ofc she’s gonna act a little awkward because she thought her crush rejected her. Unrequited love succcks and we know Ellie has trust and abandonment issues.

On patrol she wasn’t a stuttering mess with Dina, they have this natural sarcastic and witty banter. When she was clear about Dina’s feelings during the weed scene, she gained confidence and was flirty as FUCK. All hesitation was thrown out the window. She immediately pounced on Dina once she got the green light.

This is all over the place but I just wanted to put in my 2 cents that no one asked for lmao.

P.s. this all comes from love and no judgment to anyone who thinks differently. It’s just fun and I wanted to share:) ty for coming to my ted talk

[lolasimms]

a lots gonna change pt.6

Summary: Married life isn’t great, infidelity ensues, and things change.

next chapter

“So what are you doing after work today, princess?” you look up from your computer screen a painful excel spreadsheet gracing the screen, to meet the eyes of non other than Abby.

“It’s Y/n to you, and I’ve got a Pilates class in about” you look down to the two toned watch on your wrist. “30 minutes, so I should get going” You hurriedly grab your handbag from your desk and attempt to make your way past her. You’re shocked when you feel her strong arms hold onto your waist.

“Have I upset you or something, what’s the matter?” She searches your eyes, as you struggle to keep eye contact with her. You try force your way out of her grip but to no avail. Her buff arms caging you in.

“Can you please let go, I have somewhere I need to be” you groan and she finally releases you from her death grip. She shakes her head in amusement, finding your prissy behaviour to be somewhat cute.

“Is this about your wife, is she punishing you for my behaviour?” Her tone is playful and you wish you could smack that smirk off of her face.

“As a matter of fact it is, your persistence and unprofessional behaviour is causing issues for me.”

“Sweetheart I’ve been nothing but professional, your wife is just insecure. All I want is to be friends” you roll your eyes at her, how naive did she think you were.

“I mean it when I say this Abby, I don’t have the patience or capacity in my life to deal with any of this. You need to respect my boundaries and fuck off”

With that you make your way out of your office, honestly needing a break from any more unwanted social interaction.

—

“D you don’t understand the week I’ve had” you look over to your friend as she fills her water bottle at the water fountain.

“Tell me about it, I literally haven’t seen you since that night” you both cringe at the memory of the angst filled dinner that ended in an argument between you and Ellie.

“Well Ellie’s been acting horrible to me, we’ve been non stop fighting over the stupidest shit”

“I’m sorry girl, honestly if you ever need we can just leave the kids with Jesse and take a girls trip” you giggle at her suggestion but she’s dead serious.

“I doubt he’d appreciate that, plus I have work anyways”

“Speaking of, how has it been settling back in?” She asks as the two of you make your way up the stairs of the Pilates studio.

“It’s been good, aside from one of my colleagues who won’t stop hardcore flirting with me, she met Ellie and straight up kissed me in-front of her, twice!” You exclaim as the two of you place your keys and other belongings into your lockers.

Dina turns to you, eyes bulging and eyebrows furrowed. “You’re kidding right, I mean is she at least hot?” She questions wagging her eyebrows.

“Eww Dina, I’m literally married, you shouldn’t be encouraging that” you push her playfully as the both of you make your way over to the reformers.

“I was just asking, jeez” just as you’re about to tie your hair up into a ponytail you are interrupted by a woman asking you a question.

“Excuse mind if I use the machine next to you?” she asks with a smile. “I’m new here, it’s my first session”

“Sure go ahead, what’s your name?” You smile, looking at her as you finish tying your hair up.

“Amelia”

-

Amelia had never expected that she'd ever be the other woman, the phrase itself made her shudder, from embarrassment . Ever since her father had left them she always had trouble navigating relationships with sexual partners , that was no secret and her mother and sister never failed to remind her of it. Sure she had the looks like her sister, but when it came down to charm, she wasn't exactly what most people wanted in a partner. She was a hookup kind of girl, a quick fuck, a time passer specifically all the qualities of 'the other woman.’ God did it make her feel like shit. While her sister married rich, had a husband who was at her beck and call, perfect children who went to expensive Montessori school, Amelia was pushing 26 and yet she was unmarried, unloved and had no one.

That was until she met Ellie. The first time she met her was at a bar. She was tough to crack at first, always politely rejecting her advances and returning back to her drinks which pissed her off. The next few times that Ellie visited the bar, she was always slightly dishevelled, exhausted and snappy. Finally the first time she had given into her was in the stall of the bars bathroom, where she finger fucked her harshly, not bothering to even look Amelia in the eyes. Sure it wasn't sweet and she was extremely rough, but she saw it as a start and finally felt like she had met the one.

Soon enough they began meeting at hotels, but Ellie continued to abstain from physically penetrating her with the strap, it was always oral or fingers, no exceptions. This however changed when she began having fights with her wife, who she only mentioned to her when she was completely drunk. Amelia would've loved to act like she didn't care, but to picture her with a partner and a kid always drove her insane, it was her who should've been with Ellie.

She deserved someone like her, someone who would drop everything just to be at her feet. Not to mention that fact that her bitch of a wife had blamed her for not being able to go back to work, blamed her for not being around and blamed her for working too much, she hated the bitch just as much as she hated her sister and mother. She would do anything in her power to prevent them from being together, no matter what it took.

During the months when they began frequently meeting, Amelia could've sworn she had seen the look of love in Ellie’s eyes and it made her melt. She spoke less about her bitch wife, she spent more time with her and she would even kiss her. Amelia considered telling her wife so that she could have Ellie all to herself, but she had to be patient, she couldn’t get carried away.

It struck her when suddenly Ellie had become distant with her. She started ignoring her when she spoke, she wouldn't kiss her and most of the times she would make her face the other way while they made love. She knew the look in her eyes, she knew exactly what it was. It was guilt, Ellie had finally realised what she had done was wrong. With each interaction they had growing colder and colder, it was no surprise when she finally ended it that one night, the night when she had received phone call while she was half asleep.

Amelia was angry, angry that the love of her life was taken from her by some bitch and her daughter. She couldn’t upstage her sister, she could never have the perfect life and her mother would forever see her as a failure. No one ever stayed in her life, her mother had always told her she was the reason her father had left them and once again someone she loved had left her. Except this time she wouldn’t allow it, she would have Ellie even if it meant she’d have to kill.

To find you was her first task, and God was it easy. She knew Ellie had no social media, she hated that shit. So her first option was to check Vic’s page and Lo and behold, she had found a picture of you, Ellie and Vic at your daughters birthday party. She wanted to gag when she saw the way Ellie looked at you and her daughter, she was hers, hers only.

She found the tagged accounts and immediately found yours. Beach trips with your kid, dinner with Ellie, Pilates class-... she had to pause when she came across the photo of you a few other women and her sister. She had completely forgotten that her sister went to that stupid Pilates shit, and she wasn't surprised to find that you were apart of it. It was the perfect ploy for her to find out more about you, and destroy you.

-

Once she was able to come up with a fake reason as to why she wanted to join the Pilates class her stupid sister had given her a membership card, she was happy to know that she was one step closer to you. On the evening when all the try hards had met up at the Pilates studio, Amelia had to ensure she was normal, calm and collected. She had to refrain from grabbing the nearest dumbbell and hitting you across the head with it.

It was even harder when you had asked her what her name was with that empathetic smile of yours. It took everything in her not to yell out that she had been getting her cunt pounded by your wife for the past 5 months. She studied and observed you, and she couldn't figure out what Ellie even saw in you, what everyone saw in you. Every-time you or that dark haired friend of yours opened your mouths everyone in the studio would coo and praise the both of you. You got compliments from the other women without even trying and whenever the sparkle of your wedding ring caught her eye she felt like she would combust.

That same evening, after bidding everyone goodbye, Amelia had followed you and the other bitch you had come with. You had to drop your dumb friend first and she was honestly annoyed at the waste of her gas. Finally she saw the house, the one that would soon be hers and Ellie’s. She envied you, it was a beautiful home, the garden neatly trimmed and organised and the water feature out front bringing it all together. This would all be hers soon enough.

She couldn't wait till her and Ellie’s four sons could play out there, she would name their first born Eli and they would have the biggest wedding ever. Bigger than her sisters and then her mom would finally accept her and tell her she loved her. She had to shake her head and laugh, she was getting ahead of herself, first destroy the marriage, give Ellie time and then swoop her as fast as she could. She copied down the address and prepared for what was to come.

-

You were engrossed in an episode of who wants to be a millionaire, a glass of moscato in hand. The house was quiet, with Lila having her nap and Ellie being out with her work friends. Truly you were enjoying your Saturday afternoon, blissed out and unwinding. Just as you sunk further into the sofa, your peace was disturbed when you heard the familiar ring of the doorbell. You rolled your eyes as you made your way towards the door. Upon opening the door you were confused to see the random woman from your Pilates class. Had you forgotten something there yesterday?

“Uh, hi. I’m not sure if you remember me, I’m Amelia” she smiles, tucking a stray piece of her honey blonde hair behind her ear.

"I'm so sorry, but this is really random, what do you want to talk about Amelia, is this about Pilates class?" You nervously giggle as you remain standing at your door, anxious as ever.

"It's not about Pilates, but can we sit, I really don't want to-" she tries but you cut her off and begin.

"My daughters upstairs asleep and I don’t feel comfortable letting you in, as I don’t really know you. Look, just tell me I'm sure it's fine" you insist and she shakes her head before looking you dead in the eye.

"Your wife and I have been having an affair for the past 5 months"

taglist;

@moonlightdivine @maybe-cece @macaroni676 @sawaagyapong @katiemars @ellieseater @dakota-dream @joliettes @hebrokeimup @bratydoll

[dollyhao]

Fluffy ellie fic where reader isn’t all that good in social situations cause ya know apocalypse. But Ellie is real cute and comforting and just knows exactly what reader needs. TY!!

omg yes! thank you for the request this was so nice to write! i NEED her..bad.

"come on baby we're already late." ellie yells from the living room. your already ready, your just trying to hype your self up because somehow killing infected is easier than having a normal conversation with anyone other than your gf. "im coming" you yell back taking a deep breath.

you walk out of your shared room towards ellie who was standing at the front door. she looks at your face and must see something there because she says " dont worry baby. we dont have to stay long if it becomes too much, ok?" while grabing your hand and rubbing her thumb over your knuckles. you nod at her giving her a smile.

you two continue to walk hand in hand to the community hall where the get-together was. you guys walk in and ellie offers to go get you some drinks and you go to follow her before maria stops you pulling you over to introduce you to someone new to jackson, (why she chose you of all people you dont know) "hi im y/n. welcome." "thank you i didn't expect the people here to be so nice." then you here your name being called and its dina waving you over to some of her other friends in town. you ask the newcomer to give you a minute and walk over to her.

you get pulled into conversation that your not really interested in, everyone around you is laughing at something but you missed the joke (but what if you were the joke) you start to get uncomfortable, looking around for ellie. you spot her talking to jesse and tommy at the bar with two drinks in her hand.

" dina im gonna go get my drink from ellie" she nods rubbing your shoulder smiling at you. you smile back but its tense. on your walk towards ellie you hear your name called again but you dont look around and just act like you dont hear it. your starting to feel overstimulated, the music and voices sounds louder and everytime someone bumps into you, you almost feel like crying. its way too much going on. and you just wanna go home and cuddle and watch a movie with ellie.

by the time you reach her shes already putting the drinks down and grabbing your hand. "you ready to go?" you nod lip wobbling a little. ellie coos at you leading you to the door waving at people as you walk past. on your walk home ellie kisses your temple, "we dont have to go to those yk?" "i know," you say walking holding her waist, " i thought i could try to get over my social anxiety but its easier said then done" ellie wraps her arm around your shoulder rubbing softly.

"thats ok. wanna go watch a movie?" she says as yall walk onto your porch. you nod and give her a sweet genuine smile.

[catsfor2]

hands ellie x artist!fem!reader

pt2 but can be read standalone  pt 1 an: shocked to see the interaction on my first post (also super, super happy, ty :))honestly, i like this part more than the first one i wrote. pls. pls request/submit asks, i will gladly do them ! !

@prettyplant0

warnings: UNEDITED, mild smut, fluff, hand + finger kink, mild drug use (alcohol + weed)

You were undoubtedly not a party person. Not that you'd really had the chance to figure that out too many times, but after the first 20 minutes of tonight, you knew for sure.

Ellie however? Not the life of the party or anything, but the loose and confident energy she held was undeniable. She had the ability to make you swoon from across the room. And clearly the rest of Jackson has also noticed, as they huddle around her almost magnetically.

You absolutely were not trying to avoid anyone, but somehow, you have been left out. Sidelined. Othered. It's strange, as most of the town had quickly familiarized themselves with you and your creativity. But now, in this tattered party shack off the edge of the woods, you were nobody again.

"Hey! Hey! Are you fucking listening?"

Suddenly, Ellie's in your face, waving her bottle of beer around as she shouts. She laughs before taking another swig. "Are you thereee?"

"Oh fuck, sorry. Kind of zoned out I guess." You say.

"I see that. Why are you over here?" She asks.

"I don't know, I kind of-"

She cuts you off by grabbing your arm and hoisting you off the low couch. She pulls hard enough to hurt.

"Doesn't matter- we're playing pong. You don't need to do anything, I just need a partner, so..."

"Yeah, fine. Are you, like, drunk drunk? Right now?" You question, almost regretfully, not wanting to overstep. It's just that her hands are climbing up and down your arms, mindlessly, almost like she just can't help but to feel your skin.

"Well...ha...kinda," She rolls her eyes, "why?"

Before you can answer she speaks again, the hand resting on your shoulder starting to drift upwards towards your ear.

"Actually- don't tell Dina- but I'm kinda high right now also," She says, her voice getting quieter as she continues. Her fingers fiddle with the jewelry on your left ear again. You changed them for the party, (something almost unnoticeable to the average person) but Ellie can't seem to keep her hands off of them.

You pause.

"Um, why shouldn't I tell her?"

Ellie stares at you for a moment, like she's deciding on whether or not to tell you the truth. It almost hurts to see her not automatically say what's on her mind.

"Cause last night I got fuckin- I got fucked up, basically. Dina made me promise to not drink and smoke together again,"

Her hand inches up to your forehead as she talks, where her thumb starts to fidget with the clips spread through your hair.

"And Dina always tells me, 'Ellie you're like an insecure guy when you drink. Always trying to pick people up and lift random shit,'" She takes the last swig of her beer before tossing the bottle on the couch.

"And yeah, I do that, but at-"

"Get in here dicks, pong's starting!" A voice yells, cutting Ellie off.

Jesse whips a ping pong ball at the back of Ellie's head, successfully taking her attention from you. He quickly picks it up before letting out a warm drunken laugh.

"Oh shit, is Ellie putting the moves on you? Y'know more than three beers and she's-"

"Shut the fuck up Jesse. Y/N, lets go.

Jesse just laughs again while Ellie grabs your hand to lead you to the kitchen.

"You didn't mention that Ellie," You look up at her, hyper-aware of how often she stares at your lips ever since that morning in her house. "are you a player?"

She scoffs before flicking your head.

"Uh, no. I just...like talking to pretty girls at parties," Her flannel whips behind her as you finally enter the kitchen. "is that a fucking crime or something?"

People crowd around a table, set with various cups, all filled slightly with some sort of liquor. Dina and Jesse stand at the other end of the table, attempting to un-dent the only ping pong ball they've found so far.

Ellie's arm snakes around your waist before you hear her voice beside you.

"I might need to hold onto you, by the way, I've had--like--four beers and a shot."

Your face heats as you think of all the people in the room seeing her arm wrapped so tightly around your midsection. As you fumble to say yeah, of course Ellie, she glues the side of her body to yours, making sure her hand stays firmly on your waist.

Ellie almost falls over trying to get closer edge of the table.

"Hey everyone! Hey! From now on, y/n is my designated pong partner! No fuckin' arguments."

A shocked laugh escapes you immediately.

"Ellie!...Jesus..."

"What? You're my girl right? I've got to let 'em know you're my girl," She assures.

"Well with the way you've been holding me..."

Ellie's smile widens.

"I feel like they'd figure it out..." You finish.

"Yeah? And how have I been holding you?"

Your eyes dart back to Dina and Jesse and all the other people in the room before meeting up with hers again.

"Like...like I'm gonna...run away, or something," You say.

"Yeah, well...what if you do?" Her grip on you loosens just a bit. "You did the other morning. You were all yes Ellie, touch me, and then when I went for the pencils and came back you were gone!"

Your blushed cheeks turn an even darker shade of red. Your voice comes out slightly shaky when you talk.

"I--I got nervous! I'm sorry! And with the way you were so mad at first?"

You let out a breath of air you didn't realize you'd been holding. "I was questioning if you really wanted me there at all."

Her eyebrows crease. Then, almost as if to block you from view, she turns the both of you so that your back is facing the wall closest by. Her face gets near enough to yours that you smell the yeasty tang of those four beers on her tongue.

"Oh sweetheart. I almost fingered you after knowing you for like, 10 minutes. You think I don't want you?"

Your skin warms as you process what she's saying. You want to back up and let her crowd you against the wall. The way her hips shift against yours, not touching but close enough to feel every jut sets your insides buzzing. You can't repress a shiver from the sensation. Or the cold- your skirt is on the shorter side.

"Reeally cute when you get speechless like that," Ellie breaths out, tugging at the neck of her flannel and taking it off. "here. Since you wanted to wear something you know you'd freeze in. Like an idiot."

You spacily grab it out of her hands, and as you do, she takes it back from your grasp while shaking her head.

"I got it. Arms out, c'mon," as she starts to put her flannel over your shoulders, she continues. "I have an idea. How about weee...ditch this party. And smoke the joint I have hidden in the shed right now."

"Are you sure? You're already pretty drunk-"

"I won't smoke that much. Maybe a hit or two. I'll let you have most of it," She grins.

Reluctant to make her miss the rest of the party and lively night in general, you keep pushing.

"Yeah, but, the pong game? Right?"

Ellie laughs, throwing her arm around your shoulders and resting it there. Her bicep being so close to your face makes you dizzy. It feels dirty to admit you don't mind how strong she smells there--unsurprising after a night of partying.

"Just let me treat you, alright? High under the stars. Forget about your worries. That kinda shit." Her finger twirls a strand of your hair as she waits for you to answer.

"Yeah. Of course. That sounds really...lovely." You say, too focused on the weight of her body across your back.

"Ok. Good. Great. I'm gonna tell Dina we're going."

Instead of walking over to Dina, Ellie simply screams over the jumble of conversation until Dina hears, and responds, also screaming across the noise.

"Perfect. Let's head out, pretty lady."

-------------------------------------------------------------

You've only taken three hits, but you know you feel something. The greeny ash taste in your throat hasn't gone away, despite you consistently sipping your water.

"How's it feeling?" Ellie asks you, relishing in her fourth puff despite telling you earlier she would take less. You don't mind.

You'd both been slouched on the floor upon a blanket, picnic style, Ellie leaned against your side and her hand starting to creep up the outside of your thigh.

"Good...I guess. I feel warm. Like, cozy." And you did.

Truthfully, you were also a bit on edge. Like, sexually on edge. The blanket heat of the weed with Ellie's presence has you constantly wet and burning. Aching. Of course, that's not something you'd tell Ellie.

"Are you gonna teach me how to roll it?" You ask. "I want to do it next time."

"Next time?" She questions, dramatically opening her eyes.

"I, I mean, you want to hang out with me again...right?"

"Obviously! I'm fuckin' with you," she covers her mouth to laugh before grabbing your hand.

"And, no, I'm not teachin' you how to roll. I'll do it for you. No need for you to learn sweetheart."

When Ellie says things so simply like that, especially in that tone, you have no choice but to go along. You can't bring yourself to push back against something that makes you feel so tingly.

"Oh. Ok." You mumble, staring at her hand encompassing yours.

"It's far easier to just let my hands do all the work," She squeezes your thumb. "right?"

"Yeah-yes. Far easier." You say.

Ellie drags her thumb across your knuckles. Her eyelids droop slightly, eyes shaded a light pink, and her is face flushed from the alcohol. She's so, so beautiful, and you wish you could will the courage to tell her.

"I wore the skirt 'cause I thought you'd like it." You voice, eyes unable to meet her's as you talk. "Do you?"

She lets out a breath.

"Fuck. Fuck, of course I fucking like it. You're so pretty in it." Her hand inches under your skirt, finally grasping towards your upper thigh and edging the hem of your panties.

A brisk exhale escapes your lips as her fingers drift, navigating the plush of your hips expertly. As if she's already planned on where and how to touch you.

"Hey where'd you go? Keep your hand on mine," Ellie grabs your loose hand, which had wandered to your side, and places it firmly on her hand grasping your underwear. "and don't let go."

"Ellie..." you huff, burning hot all over.

"What, this is too much for you? I haven't even done anything yet."

You feel her palm, big and warm, cup you through the fabric and knead, forcefully but slowly rubbing your clit and watching your face for a reaction. Your hand still clutches over hers and you can feel her muscles flex in tune with the heavy pressure on your folds.

Your mouth parts open, lips shiny and untouched as your head looms closer to Ellie's. Her eyes remain locked on yours as her fingers move faster, and it becomes difficult for you to keep your hand on hers as she speeds up.

"Hah--Ellie," You gasp, eyes a bit watery from the sudden stimulation.

Something in her eyes shift and her face is moving closer to yours, her free hand enveloping one side of your face. Ellie kisses you hastily, smearing saliva over both of your mouths. Your teeth clack together, and her tongue is rampant, licking deeply into the kiss. She sucks and bites at your lips, ravaging them, while her other hand still palms you consistently, the strength of her entire arm grinding against your pussy.

The hand on your face reaches to fondle your breast, clawing at your shirt with force to feel underneath your bra. Her hand, despite its size compared to yours, still can't grab your entire breast. Ellie lets out a groan at the sight of you spilling out of her fingers.

Interrupting the both of you, a small metal trinket falls out of the band of your bra and onto the floor.

"Oh--shit, I forgot I was keeping that there," You say, immediately picking it up and holding it to your side.

"Uhm...what is that?" Ellie asks, eyes still partly drawn to where your skirt has ridden up, exposing a part of your ass.

You notice her gaze and mindlessly fix your skirt before picking the item up. The star-shaped rock on the front of the ring took you hours to tediously chip down due to the tiny size. It was worth it to possibly please Ellie.

"It's--well, remember the ring?" You rotate it forward, showing off the small star emblem like its a priceless diamond. "I made it. For you."

"Holy-holy shit! That's so fucking cute! You're so fuckin' cute!" She says in between short laughs. "I can't believe you actually like...made it." She puts the ring on the middle finger of her left hand, pleased with the way it fits perfectly.

"Y'know, now, you jus need to wear something that has a star like mine. So we match."

Her words make you smile wide, also while painting your face rose.

"I actually—my belly," You lift your shirt a tad, exposing the bottom lace of your bra but also the tiny piercing on your bellybutton. "the shape is a star, but-I swear, completely unintentional."

"Oh, shit. That's...cute." She murmurs, leaning closer to your stomach to give it a kiss. "Yeah, 'unintentional', my ass."

You slap her wrist lightly. "Oh shut up,"

Her hand again travels up your legs to reach your thigh, only to pause and retract for a moment. Ellie then takes the ring off of her left hand and triumphantly places it onto her right.

Oh.

"Ok, Ellie, that's like a tiny bit gross-"

"I'll clean it. I promise. I just feel like- I need to baptize it, or something, y'know?" She assures, lips curving up into a sly smile.

"Shut up." You quip. "You really must be high or something."

“We’re both high babe. It fucking reeks in here.”

[sparksqfly]

⭒❝Speak Now❞ ࿓

there's the silence, there's my last chance, i stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me

synopsis: modern au - you're about to get married; you should be happy, but on your big day, all you can think about is that redhead you were in love with your whole life, who is now determined to disrupt everything just to win you back.

author's note: this is a short story to celebrate the release of "speak now (taylor's version)," which I am very happy and excited about! this story is literally inspired by the song "speak now," and it's a multiverse full of references to taylor swift and her lyrics bc i have her songs tattoed in my head hehehe, this references won't ruin your reading experience if you're not a fan. english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes i may have made. ty for readig <3

warnings!/about the story: the image is not intended to represent the reader; it's just there for aesthetic purposes. mentions of the reader wearing dresses. the reader is kinda forced to marry an idiot and be in a heterosexual relationship, and that mf is an idiot. joel is referred to as ellie's father, and both ellie and the reader are between 21 and 25 years old.

wc: 3,3k

what the fuck am I doing? you asked yourself looking at yourself in the mirror, you had possibly been doing it for two hours, or three. you came out of your trance when you saw your friend, dina came into the room where you were getting ready. you had asked the girls who had come to help you with your appearance to leave for a while because you wanted to have "your rituals before your big day" which so far had consisted of looking in the mirror, feeling like throwing up and being about to cry.

"hey sweetie," dina said closing the door behind herself. she was holding something white in her hands, you'd had enough of that color. she put it down on one of the couches that was somewhere in the room and dragged a chair over so she could sit in front of you. she gently caressed your cheek and grabbed your hands and looked at you. "you always look beautiful, but today you look stunning." you smiled at her, not wanting to reject her compliments, but you really didn't feel beautiful today, you felt even disgusted with yourself.

dina took your hands in hers and smiled at you, "i have some gifts for you," you sighed. "you don't have to give me anything, dee. there are already too many gifts, too many," you sighed. "ok but listen to me. I already know you got something new, the dress," you looked in the mirror again. when you went to buy the dress you were with dina and your sister, you were already not liking the idea of the wedding and you already felt uncomfortable surrounded by so much white. she had already shown up and you tried to make up for how wrong it felt to do what you were doing with the greatest traditions possible, buying the longest and most "princess-like" dress you could find, a dress that perfectly covered your tattoos, buying pink flowers and golden decorations because that's how it was supposed to be.

"not that tradition again," you joked. you were too sick of tradition. "i know, i know but you know how i am. look, i'll help you" dina without waiting a second longer, knelt in front of you and started trying to lift your dress. obviously, it was difficult for her because of the number of layers it had "fuck..." she cursed, and you couldn't help but laugh listening to her. she gently grabbed your ankle and showed you a small blue ribbon, you smiled at her, and she gently tied it to your ankle, just above your shoe. "something blue," she said with a little girlish smile. she sat back down, sat back down across from you and pulled a necklace out of her pocket, a delicate chain with a small paper airplane charm on it. she put it on and tucked it inside your dress "something borrowed?" you asked raising an eyebrow and dina denied, "something used". you nodded, finally dina pulled something out of her pocket. you froze in place and felt dizzy. "something borrowed" she said and showed you a bracelet. a bracelet you had seen a thousand times, a brown bracelet with three leather straps. two hands pointing to a turkish eye in the middle. her bracelet. the bracelet that ellie always wore on her tattooed arm and that you sometimes played with when she ran a hand across your shoulders, hugging you.

taking advantage of your trance, dina fastened ellie's bracelet on your wrist and smiled at you as you stood up "i know you will make the right decision and i will always be there to support you," she said and bent down to kiss your forehead. as quickly as she came she was gone. you looked in the mirror again, touching the bracelet as you did with ellie and as if you had called out to her she appeared through the door and closed it behind her. you saw her in the mirror and immediately turned around in disbelief. the last thing you expected was to see her, much less the way she was now, dressed in a suit and all dolled up. the last time you had seen her was two weeks ago, you had met for the last time, you had touched each other for the last time, you had memorized each other entirely and finally you had said goodbye with a last kiss. you hadn't had the courage to cross her name out of the wedding list, it pained you to even see her name.

"you don't know what I had to go through to get in here, it looks like your lovely future husband uninvited me" said ellie playing with her hands, "you look beautiful". really? was that really all she had to say? "ellie, what are you doing here?" you got up from your chair to stand in front of her. you watched as ellie admired your dress, as she carefully analyzed your face and after what seemed like an eternity she took courage to grab you by the waist and bring you to her. "don't do it" said ellie gluing her forehead to yours. "meet me behind the church, we can go wherever you want, we'll do whatever you want. but don't say yes" you sighed, ellie williams was begging you to stay with her, to run away with her.

"els, i can't be this kind of person," you didn't know if you were trying to convince yourself or her. "no, you're not the kind of girl who should be marrying an idiot." "els, please. i can't do this, i can't let him down like this. i can't let everyone down like this" ellie sighed heavily and cup your face in her hands "don't do this to yourself, don't do this to me. neither of us deserve it." you were about to burst into tears, your thoughts were starting to run through your head too fast. "ellie" you sighed but she shook her head "you need to hear me out. i'm sorry, i'm really sorry for not telling you when we were little, i was 14 and I knew absolutely nothing, i didn't want to lose the friendship we had because i was afraid i was confused. i'm sorry I didn't tell you in high school when we were both teenagers and I'm sorry I didn't tell you when we started getting closer. i was so scared but i really love you, i have loved you since you walked into my house that day with a book about dinosaurs for my birthday. and i still love you, i was too scared to tell you and I don't want to lose you."

in that moment you saw the weight that ellie seemed to be carrying disappear from her back. ellie, the 14 year old girl you gave a book about dinosaurs to when she turned fourteen because your parents wanted you to meet her since they were friends with her father. the girl you became inseparable with when you both entered high school and when you started to like her. the best memories of your life were with ellie by your side, you could always be yourself with her and you never had the arguments you had with john, your fiancé. ellie had always listened to you and had always made you a priority. "can you say something?" ellie brought you back to reality with her voice. "ellie..." you were about to speak when you heard footsteps approaching the room they were in and you opened your eyes in complete alarm when you heard your mother-in-law speak. "ellie, you have to go" you said grabbing her by the wrists and pulling her to the back door "y/n, what the fuck? " she asked unfocused "please, john's family is coming, they can't see you here" you followed her leading her to the back door and when you opened it you pulled her inside being careful not to make her fall "what-" ellie asked again and before she went on you gave her a quick peck, that made her calm down immediately "keep going up those stairs, you're going straight out to where the ceremony is being held. don't let anyone see you els, please" she seemed to understand immediately and you closed the door. what had you just done?

you turned around just to see your fiancé's family walk in. all dressed in pastel and with smiles which now made you uneasy. they were talking about how beautiful you looked, how happy they were with your union and fantasizing about how many children you would have. yeah, sure. as those hellish minutes passed all you could think about was ellie, she had confessed to you how long she had been in love with you and now you were thinking how obvious it was. you realized that you had spent half your life loving her without telling her and you were about to spend the rest of your life regretting not telling her. when john's family finally left you sighed and sat back in your chair stroking ellie's bracelet and at that moment you saw your fiancé walk in. you didn't feel anything when you saw him, you weren't even angry that he broke the tradition of not seeing you before the ceremony, it was just like him not to pay attention to you. you thought about how you had felt when you saw ellie walk in and how empty you felt now.

"you look beautiful" he said. "thank you" you sighed looking at him "what do you want?" "is that how you talk to your fiancé? you're not mad because i broke this stupid tradition of not seeing you, are you?" you sighed. you hated it when he was like that. "is that your little friend’s bracelet?" that comment made you put your hand on the bracelet defensively and you turned around "maybe, what if it is?" "that trinket doesn't go with the expensive dress my mom bought you" you didn't know if it was a joke but you felt too annoyed. "leave me alone, it's tradition and ellie gave it to me, it's something important for both of us" john just rolled his eyes and grabbed the door to leave "see you in a little while, wifey".

you were left alone in the room; the silence was deafening, and you began to rethink absolutely everything. you liked Ellie since you were little, she was the person you loved the most after your family and you had hurt her with thousands of cuts just because of your eagerness to please people with what you were supposed to do. but on the other hand if you decided to be selfish you would disappoint your fiancé's whole family. those people you really loved as well as they loved you and had paid for that whole wedding. tour family too, they were so happy for your engagement and on top of that they didn't even know you liked women. how could you call off your wedding being only a few minutes away to run away and tell them that yes, you liked women and you had been in love with your best friend for more than seven years.

there you were, with a bouquet of roses and several decorative plants adorning your bridal bouquet. as you looked at it you laughed to yourself thinking that one of the plants sticking out of the bouquet looked just like the plant ellie had tattooed on her forearm. "lover" by taylor swift was playing on the speakers, she was singing about always wanting to go where your person goes, about always being close and that was all you wanted with ellie. "you look beautiful" your father's voice made you turn around. he intertwined his arm with your free arm and you smiled at him, the guilt was eating you alive. "pa'" you called out to him and he turned around "yes honey?" "if anything happens today, i just wanted to say i'm sorry" he frowned but couldn't say anything as the song ended and that meant there were only seconds left before you had to walk down the aisle.

the doors opened and the organ began to play what now sounded like a death march. the doors you were standing in front of opened. the light blinded you for a brief moment and then you saw eyes. what felt like thousands of eyes on you watching for any movement and surely noticing your disgruntled expression. you started walking on the red carpet towards the altar where there was a priest, john and some friends. were you really going to humiliate him like that in front of so many people?

as you continued walking you started to look for some eyes. ellie's green eyes, which you couldn't find anywhere, made you want to cry again. it was possible that she had really gotten tired of the back and forth and you didn't blame her. she deserved to be happy with someone who always put her first. maybe it was for the best.

as you walked down the aisle the only glances that caught your attention were from dina and Jesse, your best friends. who were possibly the only ones who knew and that was what their eyes reflected. concern and sadness. dina even tried to force a smile but jesse couldn't. they knew you even better than you knew yourself.

your father let go of your arm and you handed one of your bridesmaids your bouquet of flowers. then, your father-in-law helped you up the aisle and you stood in front of john. he said something with his lips that you didn't even bother to understand. the wedding music stopped and the priest began to talk and talk about love and various things that you didn't pay attention to. you could only think about her because you didn't even want to look at the audience. you were terrified of what might happen in the next few minutes. had you really dodged a bullet or you just lost the love of your life?

john's expression changed and you quickly got back in tune with the priest's speech. did the vows already need to be said? when you heard what followed you felt like you were about to vomit. "if anyone wants to interrupt this union speak now or forever hold your peace". you looked at the audience completely scared even though you didn't know why. did you want her to show up? you heard the priest take a breath to speak again but another noise came even louder.

you heard footsteps and the wooden benches where the guests were sitting creak under someone's weight and finally behind jesse and dina's bench ellie came out and stood in the middle of the red carpet. her hands were shaking and everyone turned to look at her in complete silence. ellie was only looking at you and you at her. the horrified looks from everyone in the room increased when she uttered the single word "y/n" obviously the expectations of the guests had led them to believe that ellie was there for ojhn and not for you.

john grabbed one of your hands, the one with ellie's bracelet in it, and you looked at him for a second. what reaffirmed what you were about to do was that he didn't look sad, he looked angry. he was losing you and he wasn't even worried. you shook your head at him and he opened his eyes wide when he realized it, although only he did it. you saw your father-in-law signal to security to possibly get ellie out and with that signal you grabbed your dress and went down the small stairs. ellie's relieved face made you gasp but there was no time. you ran out and pushed the door with your body. you felt ellie's footsteps running hurriedly behind you. you turned to look at her for a second and saw her closing the door. you kept running towards the room where you were getting ready and ellie came in behind you closing the door.

"ellie" you called her and she ran to hug you burying her face between your neck and shoulder. you brought a hand to her hair and stroked it. "thank you" she said in an incredibly low tone of voice. you pulled away from her "so now what?" "we're leaving" ellie said looking all around and you nodded, you turned around showing her your back "take it off" you said decisively "what?" "fuck els, take off my dress. it's the only thing I bought it for and i can't go out like this" you quickly felt his hands on your back and how he unbuttoned it. you stepped out of the dress without bothering to grab it and obviating that you had no bra but it was ellie, she had seen you a thousand times. you grabbed the short satin dress you had for the party after the ceremony and put it on without thinking. you went to the door where you had dismissed your ellie a few minutes ago and motioned for her to come downstairs with you. ellie nodded and before you started downstairs she gave you her suit jacket so you wouldn't be so cold. she grabbed your hand and the two of you started down the stairs at a brisk pace.

once you two came out, turned into the street and you saw her car parked nearby. she squeezed your hand and they ran to the car. there were some guests on the street watching the show but ellie didn't even pay attention to them, she put a hand on your back and opened the passenger door of her car for you. you looked at her and got in, without wasting time she closed your door carefully and got into the driver's seat, she started the car and when you realized it, they had already turned the block and started on their way. "are you okay?" ellie asked you, putting a hand on your knee and caressing it. "what did i just do?" you wondered aloud to yourself. ellie looked concerned "you regretted it?" you turned to look at her. Her gaze shifted between your face and the road "no, I've never been more sure of anything in my life, it's just that this wasn't the way I would have liked things to go, neither for us nor for him" ellie nodded and continued stroking your leg "where do you want to go?" she asked and you smiled at her, she knew what that meant.

finally you arrived at ellie's house, where she lived with her father. you smiled as you walked through the door and ellie hugged your waist. many of your happiest memories were in that house, you had lost a lot of time but they were willing to make up for it. "ellie? is that you?" Joel's voice echoed from the kitchen. "yeah” ellie screamed in response. joel came out of the kitchen with a rag in his hands and his eyes widened as he saw you dressed in white and completely ready to get married. "well congratulations, he was an idiot." He said and as he came he left, heading to his room like a ghost.

you looked at Ellie and both burst out laughing. she carried you with her arms and took you to the living room sofa and laid you down on it and she got on top of you. you hugged her as she showered you with kisses "remember you asked me what you had just done? when we went out?" you nodded. "you had just run away from your wedding to your future wife" she joked and you hugged her again joining her lips and she hugged you too. that was the first thing you felt confident about all day. you had made the right choice.

[crushedsweets]

ANSWERING A TON OF ASKS AGAIN

(30 asks..)

the reason i added it to my AU was a nod towards Ann being popularly (?) shipped with Tim way back in the day! her reasoning is prob just some 'i like my men with muscles and beards' or something LMFAOOOOOOO

yes!

I APPRECIATE YOU!! youre so sweet and im glad it helps !

only english!

in my au, i could possibly see her in a long denim skirt... and there was that one alpite drawing of her in the miniskirt... looked really cute LOL

please release me from my prison.

WHAT ARE U REFERENCING

let the man dance. . . must he stand perfectly still. . . ?

i think her smile is sooo perfect. shes perfect.

LOL AS USUAL, toby clocky nina EJ and kate. my fave is between toby and nina

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LEAVING SUCH A SWEET MESSAGE!!! it makes me so happy when you guys enjoy the stuff im putting out, especially since im enjoying creating it! i have a lot more free time now since two of my accelerated classes ended, so im just always thinking about.. them... LOL ty again also ur english is perfect!

i didnt care for it just cuz i loved the OG so much, but i totally understand why the creator did it - being berated and bullied and harassed for years at such a young age over a fun little character you made . . . i would want to "fix it" as well. but i think ninas original concept was scary in its own right! i think copy cat killers and true crime fanatics are haunting and OG nina reflected that!!!

HE'S GOT LAZARI thats his ..half daughter half sister figure. LOL. maybe dina too ive been thinking abt that a lot... omfg and lulu...

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?? CHAT.

leave her ALOOOONNNEEEE SHES PERFECT THE WAY SHE ISSSS!!!!!!!!!!

i have! i read a bit about it and whatnot in 2023, but i didnt get fully into it! im too stuck in my own world ... RIP

ive drawn him once before! i really didnt like it . LOLLLLLLL i deleted it like a couple days after posting ... ill think about doing it again!

ive been meaning to draw her with them all up her right arm+both hands+back and peaking up her neck, but i keep forgetting!!!! i only seem to remember with jane , but thats cuz its like ... very fundamental to her design LOL

yea but it wasnt my thing... very cool concept, but the humor and pacing wasnt my taste!

i have actually!! way back in like 2020, one of my friends made me HAHA but i kept falling asleep during it . . .

yes.

CRISPY IS CRAZY LOL but yeah. i love her too. LOL

release him...

true.

HAHA YEAH I CHANGED IT A WHILE BACK..and now im debating changing it again... omg

thank you anon!! youre a sweetheart

ghglugghh...

[girlboybug]

Be Quiet and Drive Far Away

"it feels good to know you're mine."

or the one where ellie takes you out on a celebratory drive after winning a basketball game.

what’s playing 🎧 : be quiet and drive by deftones

pairing : ellie x female!reader (modern college au)

word count : 7k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, heavy petting, oral f!receiving (obvi lolz), facesitting, fingering, grinding, messy makeouts, car sex, virginity loss, weed usage, praise, lowk jealous ellie oops, but also jealous!reader :0 groping, manhandling, dry humping, mentions of strap, masturbation, slight hair pulling, light restraining, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, semi public sex ?? fluff at the end teehee i love lesbians

TRIGGER WARNINGS : sex under the influence but both reader and ellie are high, i can't think of anything else but if i missed smth pls lmk, otherwise enjoy <3

a/n : i know ellie is 5'5 but in this pretend she's 5'10 pls & ty teehee

you’re sitting with jesse and dina, trying to be polite and engage in conversation, but you can’t. you can’t keep up with trying to time your fake laughter in time when they make a joke, not because they aren’t funny, but you can’t pay attention. 

the only thing you can focus on is ellie. ellie ellie ellie

dina’s not stupid, she’s been involved with ellie. she knows how enticing she can be without even having to try.

she’s also quick to notice your lack of involvement in conversing, she can follow your eyes that always lead right to ellie. she doesn’t blame you, no one could. all the girls in your friend group have fallen victim to ellie’s effect.

and now it was your turn. 

your heart picks up just that much more, when ellie glances at you in the bleachers, and she smiles for a moment, waving at you before she returns her attention back to the game. “WOO YEAH ELLIE!” jesse yells, cupping his hands around his mouth.

“i barely understand what’s happening,” he whispers to both you and dina and you laugh, shrugging. “honestly? i don’t either, i’m just here for ellie,” and jesse doesn’t even have time to stop himself from laughing. 

“oh we know,” he snickers and dina nudges him. “don’t be a dick,” she chides, glancing over at you while you try to lessen the hot embarrassment in your cheeks.

“sorry, sorry,” he says comfortingly, scooting closer to you on the bleachers. he rubs your arm and you lean on his shoulder, watching ellie dribble the basketball. 

she’s hunched forward, and you can see the necklace you gave her on her birthday hang from her neck, and a bit of warmth flutters in the pit of your stomach at the sweet detail.

you watch ellie push at her opponents, knocking them down like it’s nothing, dribbling the ball before shooting and scoring, not once missing the hoop. she’s impressive, but you don’t really care about the game, no no, all you can manage to care about is just how good ellie looks.   

the navy blue uniform fits her so well, it complements her fair skin, and the way she pauses, holding the ball between her thighs when she re-ties her hair, pulling the top half back and letting the front strands fall beside her temples, inevitably sticking to her from the sweat, you can’t bear it. 

you’re so, so happy you made dina and jesse come early to the game, swearing up and down if you just beat the crowd you’d score good seats, and boy were you more than right. 

you got a front seat to all the action, up close glances at ellie’s hands gripping the ball, her long slender fingers curling over the curve of it, made you squirm just a little. 

she walks to the side, taking gulps of water from her bottle, and you watch the droplets stream down her chin messily, trickling beneath her jersey. 

she lifts it up, wiping her mouth clean, and your grip on jesse’s arm gets tighter, your eyes unable to peel themselves off the sight of her fit and toned abdomen. 

ugh. you need her. 

jesse looks down at you, bumping you gently with his shoulder. “you feelin’ alright?” he asks and you sit up, nodding with a pat to his knee. “yeah, uh yeah, sorry, i’m good.” you sip from the slushie dina bought and he raises a brow, clicking his tongue. “yeah…okay,” he chuckles, turning back to face forward. 

dina tilts her head backwards behind jesse’s back, catching your stare. she smiles knowingly at you, wiggling your hand in her’s. you both share a laugh before looking back at the game. 

– 

the game ends, and you’re waiting for ellie in the parking lot to come out from the locker rooms. you’re nervously fiddling with the ends of your tank top, tugging at the loose threads, and dina notices. 

she stands next to you, bumping her hips to your’s. “you make things so obvious, be cool, i think she’s coming,” she says quietly, low enough for only you to hear, and you make a squeaky sound full of nerves, looking at her with wide worried eyes. “don’t freak! you look good,” she winks, falling back behind you with jesse. 

ellie spots the three of you, her long legs taking strides right to where you all stood. “WOO there’s our champ, congrats dude you killed it,” jesse cheers, and ellie laughs, shaking her head when jesse and her connect hands and hug with a firm pat over the back. 

“thank you, thank you,” she curtsies with the ends of her flannel. 

“hey din,” she greets, and dina smiles, pulling her in for a hug. her sights shift to you, and her smile deepens. “hi,” she breathes out, her hand falling to your waist, her grasp was just a passing away from tight as she ushers you in her arms. 

you squeeze her back, the scent of her freshly washed hair and skin filling your senses. “you did great,” you praise softly, and she replies with an equally soft, thank you, her hand deviating right on the curve above your ass, running her hand side to side. 

a spark explodes in the space cradled by the plump of your thighs at her touch. 

you can smell the honey and white oak native body wash on her, feeling dizzy from it even when she lets you go, her hands still lingering over your waist. she eyes you, mouthing a silent hi once more before her eyes fall back to jesse and dina. 

“so!” she claps her hands together, rubbing them excitedly when she stands amidst you three. “where’re you guys takin’ me for my celebration dinner?” 

“about that,” jesse sighs awkwardly, scratching at his neck. “dina and i gotta study for that molecular biology exam tomorrow, we won’t be able to do the dinner celebration with you tonight, i’m sorry ells,” he frowns, but you’re not stupid, actually, even an idiot could see through his poor excuse of a lie. 

“yeah, i’m sorry ellie, i promise we’ll make it up to you, but!” dina’s eyes flicker to you, and your eyes widen, your face drops in horror, shaking your head and hands rapidly behind ellie. “someone is still free,” she nods towards you, and ellie turns to look at you. 

you paint a smile over the anxiety etched in your face. “you still down for dinner?” she asks, and you bob your head affirmatively, praying she can’t see how painfully nervous you are. 

“alright well,” she drapes an arm over your shoulders, turning back to dina and jesse. “you guys suck, we are gonna go have dinner. later.” she sends them a peace sign, walking with you over to her truck. 

“how much you wanna bet she’s gonna hit?” jesse asks and dina, groans, rolling her eyes. “you’re gross,” she hops in the car, and he joins her in the passenger seat.

“but 20 bucks.” she answers, looking at him with an upside down smile. jesse laughs, taking her hand in a firm shake. “you’re on.” 

– 

it’s quiet for awhile, the sound of cars driving beside the truck is calming, the sound of ellie drumming her fingers against the steering wheel is too, but no matter how tame your environment is, you just can’t seem to shed the anxiety that comes with being alone with her. but lucky for you, she speaks while you can’t seem to. 

“so you and jesse are gettin’ pretty close huh?” she asks, her left elbow resting against the car window, driving with her right hand. she looks over at you, and you look back, slightly confused.

“uh, i mean i suppose. he hangs around dina and i’s dorm a lot.” 

she nods, a quiet yeah while she purses her lips. “i just ask because you guys seemed kinda. buddy buddy at the game,” and you laugh in a hushed disbelief, turning in your seat to face her. 

“dude, it’s definitely not like that,” you’re shaking your head, the thought of you and jesse being together is almost hysterical. 

the thought of you being with anyone that wasn’t the girl sitting right next to you was ridiculous, but you keep that thought to yourself. 

“nah, i just mean..it’d be…cute, if you guys were a thing.” cute sounds forced coming from ellie, the taste on her tongue from verbalizing the image of you and jesse together leaves her crinkling her lips to the side, unhappy with the thought. 

you laugh again, and she gazes over at you, brow raised, thumb running under her bottom lip. “somethin’ funny?” she half laughs dryly. 

“no no, it’s just,” your laughter fades as you wipe the fake tears from your eyes. “you sound jealous is all. it’s silly.” 

the corner of her lips curl just a little, and she inches her head towards you, her hand resting on the stick shift. “do i?” she asks, her voice dropping lower than it usually is, and you swallow hard, feeling hot under her gaze. 

you look at the hand that rests next to you on the stick shift, eyes tracing over her knuckles, the rings that adorn them…

you look back up at her and she laughs under her breath, catching you in your stares. she continues driving once the red light switches back to green. “here, you can play whatever you want.” she hands you her phone, and you grin, giggling something cute, taking her phone. 

your brows come up in surprise when you log in to her spotify. the saved playlists in her recent activity are not her’s. 

“these playlists. they look… familiar,” you suck on your bottom lip to keep from the wide smile itching to spread.

her cheeks get a little pinker at your observations and she chuckles, leaning in deeper in her seat, running her fingers under her lips. “caught me. i stalked your spotify.” 

you scroll through the many saved playlists, laughing in shock when you look back at her. “creep, you have just about every playlist i’ve ever made.” the words ring even truer when you land on the playlist entitled e. 

shit. 

you clear your throat, quickly choosing a playlist that wasn’t the one you made during a crying fit at 2am because you overheard from jesse that she was hooking up with a girl from her basketball team. 

“i just so happen to think you have good music taste, and by the way,” she glances away from the road for a moment over to you, pointing a finger in the air. “no one ever gets aux privileges in the truck, so feel special.” 

you hold her phone to your chest, bowing with dramatic graciousness. “thank you ellie for this honor, i will appreciate it until the day i die,” she half scoffs, half laughs, the tip of her tongue poking her cheek. “yeah you better,” she feigns a grumble. 

“anyways,” you draw out, poking at her sides, laughing when she does at your prodding. “where does the winner wanna eat?” 

“agh i was just thinking about that, i kinda want something fancy, i feel like i need to eat something fit for a king,” she’s partially joking, but she’s starving, ready to eat just about anything, and she almost says that when she looks over at you.

she wonders how much you’d squirm if she said that. 

“ahh yes, a feast if you will,” you agree, tapping your chin. “what’s fancy and nearby?” 

— 

you two landed in an olive garden. 

“this is the fanciest place i know!” ellie says in defense, trying to convince you of the pure class olive garden has to offer. 

“no yeah, i definitely believe that olive garden is the fanciest place you know,” you laugh quietly when she opens the door for you. 

“don’t be rude,” she squints at you, pointing at you in tandem. 

you two are seated by a hostess, ellie trails behind you, her hand in the middle of your back while you walk, and you have to pretend it isn’t affecting you, and that the heat from her hand doesn’t radiate itself all the way down to a place where it shouldn’t be. 

“your server will be right with you,” is what you both are left with before you start scavenging over the menu. 

“i’m kinda tempted to get the tour of italy thing but i’m gonna be glued to their toilet if i do,” ellie clicks her tongue and you laugh behind the menu. 

“well,” you set the menu down, ellie following in your actions. “is it worth it? tour of italy feast and then explosive diarrhea or one plate of pasta and a minor poop session?” 

ellie stares at you with lips cracking into a wobbly laugh. “you really know how to set the mood, don't you?” and you laugh, despite the feeling that picks up in your lower stomach. 

set the mood? 

was there a mood to be set? 

before you can reply, the waiter comes, and you’re half tempted to tell him you need more time, just for a few more seconds alone with ellie. 

–

“you’re not paying.” ellie says with finality, giving you a look that says don’t argue. but naturally, of course you do. 

“no dude c’mon, it’s your night, you shouldn’t have to pay.” you try to tug at the bill, but her grip is unwavering. “yeah, my night, my rules.” she taps the bill over your nose before digging out her wallet. she slides her credit card into the tablet at the table, winking at you when she catches your annoyed stare. 

you roll your eyes despite the fluttery feeling rushing in your chest at the small act. “next time i’m paying.” you promise, and ellie nods patronizingly, opening the door for you on your way out. “don’t give me that look, i’m serious!” 

ellie just hums an, i’m sure you are, tossing one of those chocolate mints into her mouth. 

“where to next?” you ask, buckling yourself up in the passenger seat. she rests her elbow on your seat, turning around to watch the back of her truck while she pulls out. 

your face gets hot, and you can’t get yourself to scoot away from how close she is to you. 

“uh, dunno. figured we could just drive around for a bit. that cool with you?” she asks, still close to you, close and in your air. you can smell the chocolate mint and peach bellini tea on her breath and you have to calm yourself before you speak. 

“yeah, yeah it-it’s cool with me.” you respond quieter than you intended. 

“you sure? i can drop you back off at your dorm if you’re not feelin’ it–” 

“no, i mean aha, no no it’s all good with me,” you reply faster than you meant, and you feel like slapping yourself when she laughs. “alright,” she smiles at you, turning back to face the road.

music fills in the silence when you can’t, mind buzzing with possible things to say, none of them sounding good enough to mention. 

“so, i heard you’re talking to abby,” ellie says, pulling you up and out of the heaps of thoughts you dug yourself into. 

“wait, like talking talking?” you ask, and ellie nods, sucking on her teeth, and you can’t help but wonder if her visible dislike of mentioning abby is because she’s jealous, or because she just doesn’t like her. you tell yourself it’s the ladder, but a giddy feeling fills you up from the pit of your gut at the idea of the other option. 

“no, no it’s not like that, i think she’s still into owen or something.” you answer and ellie stays quiet, nodding to herself slowly. 

“but if she wasn’t?” she pushes a little further, glancing over at you. “well, i don’t really like abby like that, she’s not my type.” you shrug, and ellie chuckles. “yeah, girls?” 

you feel like yelling in her face that you more than like girls, if anything you happen to be in love with the one that’s currently driving.  

“no stupid, if anything i’m not…particularly into owen’s type. abby’s cool but, i’m not interested.” you’re treading lightly on this topic, not quite sure why, ellie’s the last person you should be nervous to talk about this with, and yet you still are. 

to be fair, ellie just makes you nervous to begin with. 

when she pulls to a stop at the red light, her hand finds its way back behind your seat, very close to the nape of your neck.

she's tilting her head at you, her skin illuminating from the bright red glare from the light, and a curl at her lips makes you feel hot all over. “really? i didn’t know you were into girls,” 

“how?” you laugh and she shrugs, joining you in your laugh. “well you never said anything!” she replies, her words hanging off the curve of playful exasperation. 

you point your knees towards her, letting yourself get closer. “you never asked.” you reply, and she sucks on her bottom lip, her fingers brushing behind your neck, trailing your shoulder. “yeah, you’re right.” she all but whispers, barely covering the sound of your shivering at her ghosting touches.  

“i kinda guessed, but just left it as wishful thinking.” you peer at her wordlessly, her comment echoing in the walls of your head. 

what was there to be wishful of? is she purposefully saying this shit? 

“i wouldn’t have minded,” you decide to say, and she hums a, minded what?

“if you asked. i…i wouldn’t have minded.” you’re quiet when you speak again, and ellie nods to herself, and she chuckles something to herself. “should’ve asked then.” 

its quiet for awhile more, until ellie speaks up. “and by the way, you could do a lot better than abby anderson,” you exhale a little at what she says, feigning unsurety, leaning towards where her hand rests. 

“i dunno, she is kind of hot.” ellie’s brows screw together and she scoffs. “her name sounds like she came up with it on the spot, she’s always got the same fuckin’ braid and she plays a stupid sport.” 

you’re holding back the volume of how hard you want to laugh, which is loudly, but you refrain. “her name is normal and softball isn’t stupid.” she shoots you a suspecting glare, eyes flickering over you up and down. “you sure you don’t like abby?” 

you huff, punching at her shoulder, trying to hide your smile when she laughs an ow dude!

“i don’t like abby,” you grumble, and ellie’s lips turn in a cocky way at your confirmation, wanting to rub it right in abby’s face. 

“but what about you?” you ask, somewhat accusingly, interrupting ellie’s internal gloating. “what about me? you know i can’t stand her,” she answers and you blow out an irritated sigh. 

“not who i’m talking about. i heard you have a thing with one of the girls on your team.” you’re not sure why you let yourself bring it up, the last thing you want to hear is ellie going into detail about her romp with some girl who isn’t you. 

“what?” she laughs airily, her wrist now hanging off the stick shift. “where’d you hear that?” she queries and you purse your lips, shrugging.

“probably from the same place where you heard that i’m talking to abby.” your brow raises at her, and her tongue pokes at her cheek, thumb running along her chin. “alright, alright,” she chuckles under her breath. 

“it was nothin’ serious, she wanted to experiment, and i happened to be the one she wanted to use as a test drive.” she drums her fingers against the steering wheel, tittering stilly at the memory and you grow uncomfortable, almost upset that she even has something to remember between her and that girl. and it looks like she doesn’t quite mind the memory either. 

“that’s like what? the fifth girl you’ve let experiment with you? you’re like the community strap.” ellie looks at you, ears taking notice of the scorn in your grousing. “wow, okay did i strike a nerve somehow?” 

“no, no, not at all.” you reply, and ellie watches you for a little longer, seeing that you’re not looking at her. uh huh. she hums to herself before digging through her center console. she pulls out a blunt, quickly fishing out her lighter from her pocket. 

she puts it between her lips, handing you the lighter. she points it towards you, and you hold the lit lighter to the end of her blunt, and she blinks a thanks, at you. she inhales, holding it in, breathing it as much as she can, before letting it fan out. she hands it to you, and you accept. 

you two pass it back and forth, taking silent drags from it until the silence turns to giggling. “i just feel like i’d be… i don’t know, bad at it? it’s been so long you know?” you admit through a fit of embarrassed giggles and ellie breathes through her’s before responding. 

“couldn’t have been that long. how long has it been since you’ve kissed someone?” you suck in your lips, and she bumps your arm. “i won’t judge, i promise.” she swears, and you sigh, closing your eyes when you take in a long drag, handing it back to her when you exhale. 

“the third day in the first week of senior year in highschool.” ellie just about slams on the breaks, and you jerk forward, gripping onto your seatbelt. “ellie the fuck–” 

“nah dude, you what the fuck! it’s been like, 3 almost 4 years since you’ve kissed anyone?” she’s shocked, and she’s loud, and you wish you never said anything. “what happened to no judging?” you frown, taking back the blunt. “no, no i’m not judging, just…shocked no one’s kissed you in that long,” she murmurs, running her hand across your forearm. 

your skin prickles up under her warm palm, and your eyes drift over to the tattoos on the arm touching you, her rolled up flannel fitting around her elbow. 

you let your staring fall into her eyes. her throat bobs, and she turns away, her hand still on your arm, the other back on the steering wheel. 

“where are we going?” you ask, waiting for her to answer while she’s got the blunt between her lips. “somewhere i can change that.” 

your heart freezes before it beats harder than it ever has beneath your chest cavity. “what?” you breathe out and she turns to you. “only if you want,” she replies in the same breath. “okay,” you nod, squeezing the hand on your arm. 

she taps the ashes out the window when she pulls up into the picnic area of a park that faces a lake. 

and when she turns the keys, killing the engine, it’s too quiet, the ringing in your ears suddenly getting louder and louder. 

she shifts around in her seat, fully facing you, and she leans in, the tips of her fingers tracing over the apple of your cheek. 

“we don’t have to if you don’t want to, i don’t want you to feel pressured or anything,” she murmurs, her soft words fanning over your lips. 

you shake your head, inching closer. “i don’t feel pressured, just nervous,” you admit, the air slowly depleting from your voice. 

“i know, s’okay. i got you. come here,” her hand rests on the side of your neck, cradling you to her. she tilts her heard towards you, quickly flicking the roach out the window. 

her lips are on your’s, the second you two interlock, she lets out something like a moan in your mouth, it’s quiet but filled with relief. 

she wants more. 

you’re holding her cheeks, pulling her in closer while her hand keeps you stuck to her, her fingers splayed along your jawline, her thumb on the side of your chin. 

the sounds from your kiss fill the truck, and it does something to ellie, it does something to you. 

you whimper in her mouth when her tongue pushes between your lips, flicking over yours. you hold on tighter, feeling weak when her tongue piercing grazes you.

she likes the way you cling to her, likes the way your body tells on you, making it clear you’re enjoying this as much as she is. you’re tilting your heads side to side at a slow pace, moving in closer to each other now, hands starting to wander. 

the burn from a lack of air feels good, you’re slightly faint, but that’s just ellie’s effect. 

her lips sponge a few times to yours before she pulls apart, light gasps for air while she rests her forehead to your’s. 

“you sure you haven’t kissed anyone in awhile?” she chuckles, running her hands up and down your arms. 

you giggle, pecking her lips. “yeah, i’m sure.” you breathe through your fading giggles. 

“i felt your tongue piercing, i didn’t know you actually got it done,” you mention, voice still wavering, the imprint of her lips on yours tracing itself into circles over your own, and she exhales a breathless laugh, moving in nearer. 

“you wanna feel it again?” she offers, words falling heavy into temptation. you don’t say anything, you just pull her back in with both hands on either side of her face. 

she groans in your mouth, her hand holding you as close as can be by the back of your neck. 

you’re both breathing through your noses, too enthralled by the way the other feels pressed up against each other, air feeling unimportant in comparison. 

her tongue is on yours, and she slightly inches back, sucking on your bottom lip, letting it fall back in place before going back in, kissing you hard. 

her hand lays on your thigh, traveling up your hip, squeezing, pulling you in closer, but you can’t get any closer than you already are. 

“ellie,” you expel what little breaths you have to whisper her name. “yeah?” she mumbles, kissing at your jaw. “i wanna be closer,” your nervousness melts away little by little, and you think maybe she took it from you when you kissed. 

“we can move to the back of the truck, there isn’t much more space than this in the backseat,” she swallows, pressing another peck to your lips. you nod, and she holds your hip a little tighter before you make your way out the truck. 

when you both meet at the back of her truck, she looks down at you, running her thumb over your chin for a moment before pulling the trunk down.

there’s already sheets laid out and you look at her suspiciously, uhh? coming out your mouth.

“was this an elaborate scheme to get me in the back of your trunk?” you ask, knowing that even if it was, you wouldn’t have cared. 

“no, oh god, joel was helping me move some shit and he laid that down so it didn’t scratch the bed of my truck i swear,” she rambles, and it’s the first time you’ve ever been the one to make her flustered. 

you laugh, clambering up into the trunk. “i’m kidding ells, now hurry up it’s cold,” your knees close together, elbows supporting you upright so you can continue looking at her. 

“i’ll warm you up,” she promises stilly, climbing up after you.

she closes the bed of the truck up, laying right beside you, hand holding her head while the other rests on your waist. 

her hand drops from her head to rest beside yours when she leans back in to kiss you. you moan as soon as your lips touch her’s, trying to get closer and closer. 

she finds herself on top of you, one leg resting under your’s while her other knee rests aside your hip, and when she leans down, sliding herself right up against you, you whimper in her mouth, struggling to kiss her back when you connect there. 

the seams at the crotch of your jeans create a friction you both share, and it’s too good.

she’s grunting above you, kissing you hard and messily while she ruts her cunt against your’s, your sweet little cries fueling her, adding gas to her fire that’s already burning her skin hot. 

you try to sit up, try to kiss her more, but she pushes you down, grabbing your wrists and holding them above your head. 

she’s panting just inches from your face, the necklace you gifted her dangling in front of you, the silver E glimmering in the moonlight. 

“can feel how wet you are from the outside of your jeans,” she breathes out a cocky chuckle, holding your wrists with one hand while the other dips beneath your tank top, her hand warm at the base of your tummy. 

she lets it move up and up and up until it’s bunched at your chin, your chest bared in a cute little bra, the kind with a zipper at the front. 

she lowers herself down to it, teeth latching onto the zipper, eyes peering up at you when she drags it down, sighing lowly, carnally, at the sight of your bare tits. 

your shoulders try to curl on themselves shyly, but she grips tighter onto your wrists, shaking her head. “fuckin’ hot,” she mutters more to herself, ducking down and attacking one with her mouth, tongue hot and wet, swirling over your nipples, switching between the two. “ellie,” you whimper, back arching. “let me touch you,” you gasp when her teeth graze your nipple. “please?” 

she obliges, releasing her hold on your wrists, and they soon fall to her short hair, weaving through the coffee strands. 

she kisses down your sternum, down to the middle of your stomach, but you stop her right when she reaches the button of your jeans. 

she looks up at you, rising back up to hold your cheek. “sorry, did i go too far?” she asks softly, and you shake your head, clearing away the strands from her eyes. “no, i just…i’ve never…” she gapes at you at your confession. 

“you’re a virgin?” you nod, looking away. her index finger guides you by your jaw to look back at her, and she laughs airly. “that’s okay, you don’t need to be embarrassed, but if you wanna do this, i promise, i’ll make it good for you.” she creates a covenant she’s confident will go unbroken, eager to show you how good she can make you feel. 

“i’m just scared i won’t… be as good as the other girl’s you’ve been with–” 

“hey,” she interrupts you, her hand already resting on your inner thigh, gripping tightly. “they don’t matter. all that does is you,” she whispers into your hair, kissing the space just before your ear before she makes her way back down. 

she unbuttons your jeans, pulling them all the way down after you’ve kicked your shoes off. you’re left feeling colder than when you started, but ellie is quick to fix it. 

she leaves wet kisses all around your lower tummy, letting her breath fan over your dampening underwear. 

a sense of pure pride resonates in her chest when she sees how wet you are, and it’s all for her. 

she pushes your underwear to the side, and she sighs when she sees your bare cunt, squeezing her thighs together at the sight of you soaked. 

“show me how you touch yourself,” she instructs, her voice soft, but she’s serious, stern. “what?” you ask, unsure if you heard her right. “you heard me. touch yourself. i wanna see what you do that makes you feel good.” she says silkenly, kissing your inner thigh. your breath hitches. 

“ellie…” your words dwindling back into nervousness. “hey,” she moves back up, her face close to yours. “i wanna touch you the way you like, just show me what you do and i’ll take care of the rest.” she kisses her confirmation into your cheek before lowering herself back down. 

you close your eyes, head resting against the bed of the truck when your fingers find themselves over your clit, rubbing familiar circles over it, feeling your hips start to twist at the light touches. 

you dip down into your hole, pushing in, unable to reach the spot you desperately wish you could reach, moaning a quiet complaint, and ellie can’t get any wetter than she is as she watches you.

she could fix that little issue for you.

“did you ever think of me while you touched yourself?” she asks, her hands already starting to ready themselves at your thighs. you nod thoughtlessly, whimpering. “always wanted it to be your hands,” shifting around, the aching sensation only growing.

“so fuckin’ pretty, i’ll take care of you,” she growls, moving your hands aside and diving in as fast as she can, feeling starved yet again but for something sweeter this time. 

she moans almost louder than you do once her tongue is on you. you’re shaking, hands finding purchase in the short locks of her hair, trying your best to not yank on them but it’s so hard not to. 

it’s difficult trying to think clearly when she’s burying her face as far as it can go into your cunt, her tongue and lips sucking over your clit, her fingers pushing themselves into your fluttering hole. 

you’re grateful there’s no one around to witness this, your naked chest, heaving with an ajar mouth flowing with endless moans, and a pretty girl between your thighs going down on you in the back of her truck. 

she smacks at your thighs, gripping them hard and keeping them open, spreading you wide for her. 

“ellie, fuck,” you cry out, trying to buck yourself deeper into her mouth, but she keeps you in your place, an arm pressing down on your tummy, adding even more pressure to the already intense feeling over her flicking her tongue on your clit. 

your eyes roll back and all you can do is cry out her name in the most incoherent mess she’s ever heard from you. 

she cups herself, trying to soothe the ache throbbing between her thighs. 

but you’re the more important one, she can wait. she pushes her finger back inside you, and it’s long, you squirm when she pushes into you until she hits the knuckle. 

she curls over the spongy spot inside you, almost smirking against your cunt when you just about sob. 

“that feel good?” she asks breathlessly, mouth wet from your slick when she looks up at you, her wrist still moving, finger still deep in you, fucking you. “uh huh,” you nod pathetically watery eyes barely able to look back at her. “feels sooo good ellie, so good,” you slur, head falling back while you grind down onto her. 

“good, baby that’s the goal,” she says lowly, a chuckle somewhere in her words, her lips grazing over your clit when she speaks. 

you shudder, trying to have more of her. she keeps her forearm firm atop your stomach, too busy eating you out for you to move away, she’s waited too long and you’re not gonna squirm away from it. 

you’re panting, clawing at the sheet you’re laying on top of, legs buckling around ellie, but she doesn’t care, she lets your thighs encase her, she loves the feeling. her tongue piercing rolling over your clit is too much, but it’s so good, you want more. 

cries of ellie’s name leave past your bitten lips, falling one after the other, and it makes ellie feel near animalistic, she wants her name and her tongue to be the only things you can say and feel. you buck your hips just right, you meet the thrusts of her finger, eyes squeezing the tears gathering at your lashes. 

she rises from between your thighs, her finger staying put inside you. she wants to watch your face when she adds in a second. your back arches, thighs trembling around her wrist when she inches in her index finger. 

you whimper, holding at her flexing bicep and she shushes you, thumbing over your clit to ease you into it. 

“you can take it babe,” she murmurs, kissing your forehead. “s’much,” you hiccup, and she kisses you gently, her words airing out over your lips. “i know, but if you can take my fingers you’ll be able to take my strap,” you tighten around her fingers at her proffers, and she notices, laughing ardently, curling her fingers in deeper. 

“yeah,” she leans down, her nose against your cheek, lips by your ear. “knew you’d like that.” 

her thumb rubs circles over your clit, her fingers working inside you too well, you can barely take it, you’re pulling ellie down to kiss you, and she obliges, holding your face with her free hand. the wet slick sound eliciting from your cunt, makes her kiss you harder, so eager and thrilled to finally be touching you like this, and even more excited knowing she’s got you this soaked for her.

“wanna cum,” you whine into her skin, and she ducks back down between your thighs, her lips wrapping around your clit, replacing her thumb. you cry loudly, grinding down into her mouth, greedily trying to soak up every flick of her tongue, every graze from her piercing. 

“let me taste it baby, cmon let it out,” she coaxes it out of you, her lips sucking over your clit just right, her fingers never relenting inside you, finally satisfying you in ways you could never accomplish before. 

your head whips side to side, back twitching up and down, unable to contain any moans and loud sobs of ellie’s name, the pressure in your tummy bursting and spreading all throughout the entirety of your body. you roll your hips into her, panting, gasping, trying to keep up with her but your body can’t take it, can’t take how much she’s giving you. it feels like your orgasm isn’t ending. ellie won’t let it. 

“ellie please,” you whine, trying to wriggle away from her, but her grip only tightens. 

she removes her fingers, letting her tongue do all the work. you push her away, but she doesn’t budge. “you’re right there baby, give me one more, i know you can,” she has more faith in you than you do yourself, but you can never say no to ellie. 

you endure the burning stimulation rippling under your skin, throbbing through your cunt. you’re freely crying, whining, pleading with ellie, but she doesn’t let up, she can’t just have a taste of your cunt and be one and done, she needs more. 

the pressure rebuilds itself, soon to crumble in on its foundation, and you can’t believe it’s about to happen again, it hurts, but you don’t want it to stop either. all you can do is take it, babbling mindlessly while ellie devours you whole. 

you’re cumming with a loud cry, the inability to stay still doesn’t affect ellie in the slightest, her strong arms keep you planted still, leaving you inescapable from her tongue. she laps you up, taking you all in, gently grazing her teeth over your clit and chuckling when you shiver. 

you can’t stop shaking, your cunt is still buzzing, you can feel every swirl of ellie’s tongue over your clit, her fingers still buried inside you, and the muscle memory makes you twitch when it hits you extra hard. 

she holds you in close, ridding herself of her flannel to drape over you. “y’did so good for me, taste so sweet,” she whispers, watching as you cocoon yourself in her arms, head falling heavy in her chest. you’re still trying to remember how to breathe, pressing soft kisses to the base of her neck. 

“you feel okay?” she asks, quietly, leaning down to check on you, and you nod, humming happily. you crawl out of her arms and on top of her, hands on her shoulders, and she has to fight to maintain eye contact instead of just staring at your chest in front of her. 

“i wanna make you feel good too,” you’re not sure if it’s the weed or the high from the back to back orgasms that’s making you this bold, but you go along with it anyway, the curiosity and hunger for how ellie would taste is what really enables it all. 

her hands fall to your waist, and she looks up at you with an excited challenge in her eyes. “oh yeah?” she asks, mhmm, leaving your lips. 

“you sure? there’s no like, obligation–” it’s your turn to interrupt ellie. 

“ellie,” you lean down. “i’ve wanted to eat you out for as long as i’ve known you. there’s no sense of obligation here,” you whisper, and ellie gapes at you, laughing out of disbelief, but she’d be lying if she said that didn’t make her clit throb. 

she holds your sides, turning you flat on your back, her knees on either side of you now. “yeah? okay, i’ll give you what you want,” she mutters, unbuttoning and unzipping her pants, leaving them to the side where your’s are. 

“gonna let me sit on your face?” she asks, her nose brushing against your’s and your throat tightens with anticipation. “i’ve never..”

“i know baby, but i’ll do all the work, you just listen to me okay?” you nod, mouthing a quiet “okay.”

she’s left in her wife beater and calvin klein boxers, you feel weak at the sight, trying to take a mental image of it for later. when she rids herself of her boxers, you swallow hard, eyes landing over her pussy. it’s so pretty. you think adoringly when she levels herself above your mouth. 

she rubs her clit in front of you, and you moan just under your breath. 

she grabs your wrists, holding them back over your head when she lowers herself down onto you. your tongue is quick to find her clit, and she gasps an oh shit, her forehead resting at the back window of her truck, starting to grind her hips down onto your tongue. 

it’s been awhile since ellie’s done this, and she forgot how intense it feels, the source of pleasure directly pointed into her cunt radiates into her entire body, and she tries to steady herself, tries to not immediately fuck your face. 

your nose rubs side to side over her clit and she groans, back arching and hips swiveling down into your mouth. 

“shit,” she winces, forcing her eyes to open and look at you, taking her cunt so well, eating her like she’s the most important thing you’ve ever had to taste. 

which she is in your book. nothing could be more important than ellie’s cunt on your tongue. 

“you look good like this,” she comments through a breathless laugh, rolling her hips down onto your tongue, shuddering when you curl the tip of it right over her clit. 

“you’re fucking good at this,” she whines, and your clit throbs at the sound, moaning into her with contentment. you understand now why ellie couldn’t pull herself from your cunt. 

now that she’s on your face, you never want to let her get off. 

“so good for me, so fucking good,” she pants, her hand falling back when she releases your wrists, gripping onto the sheet under her. 

your hands wander all over her sides, finding themselves under her wife beater, squeezing at her chest. you pinch at her pebbled nipples, feeling cocky yourself now when she whimpers, buckling further into your mouth. 

you settle on her hips, your arms holding her thighs down to have more of her. you drink her in, tongue licking her up, and down, swirling over her clit like clockwork. 

“fuck, suck on it, yeah, just like that,” she falls forward, arm leaning against the back of her truck while she fucks herself on your tongue, starting to feel herself grow sporadic when your lips envelope her clit, flickering over the sensitive button over and over. 

“gonna cum, gonna, shit!” her thighs tremble on either side of your head, but you keep her still, supporting her with a firm hold on her thighs, tongue never relenting in her. she gasps, shaking while she lets you milk her dry of her orgasm. 

it prickles into a hot pain mixed with the best feeling she’s ever felt, but it’s more she can take, and she struggles to clamber off of you, falling on her ass beside you. 

she grabs you, pulling you on top of her, holding you by the back of your head, her other hand resting low on your back when she kisses you hard. she breathes in your air, tongue colliding and you moan in unison when you taste each other. 

when she pulls away, your foreheads stay together, sharing quiet gasps. “virgin my ass,” she chuckles and your face gets hot, burying it in her neck. she lets you drift to the side of her, she keeps you close, running her hand up and down your back, your bare chest concealed by hiding it into her side.

“i guess now’s as good as any time to confess that i’ve liked you for longer than i’d like to admit.” you mumble, somehow still feeling shy after all that’s happened. 

she smiles, her chin pointing towards the top of your head when she shifts to look at you.

“i was hoping you did. i didn’t wanna just assume you liked girls and get my feelings hurt, so i just… never did anything about it.” she admits, and you punch her shoulder playfully, your heart pounding in your throat at her confessions. 

“ellie! you should have said something, i was pining after you thinking i never had a chance!” and she cups your face, her thumb grazing over your bottom lip. “that’s exactly how i felt,” she chuckles and you grumble, leaning deeper into her. 

“i wish you said something,” you repeat quietly, and she sighs, nodding. 

“do you wanna be my girlfriend?” she asks softly, and you beam at her, slipping an arm under her’s, hugging her tight. “of course i do,” you reply, words under the same blanketed softness. she holds your chin, leaning down to kiss you with a newfound delicateness. 

“good, because i would’ve kept asking until you said yes.” she jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. “i’d never say no to you.” 

[fatalitysficbakery]

𓆰♥︎𓆪 What We Could’ve Had. (Ep. 1)

— Ellie Williams x Riley Abel

genre: angst/fluff/smut-TY.

warnings: rewriting endings.

synopsis: what happens if riley hadn’t died? what life would she and ellie have lived?

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery navigation menu 𓆪.

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery multifandomed &&’ oc menu #2 𓆪.

❦ ⌫ ❦

"Easy girl," I call to my mare when we bound a particularly icy corner, finally eye to eye with something more than miles of snowy forest, the chill hadn't set in until we'd arrived, chalk it up to the adrenaline of having to help make sure myself, two horses, and a grown man are safe from the hordes of infected searching for their next meals. It had been a long road to get here. Figuratively, and literally.

Jackson City.

I never thought I'd see the day, a town lively with families, survivors that escaped the carnage, children, for fucks sake. It almost seemed normal, can't remember the last time I felt normalcy like this, and for a moment, though it was rightful on their part, I wasn't hopeful I ever would.

He had to pull a lot of strings to get me here, Joel. Talked and pleaded for almost 3 months on my behalf, meanwhile, I was stuck holed up in an old warehouse that had begun...decaying. Mold, leaks, holes...If Joel hadn't managed to put in a good word, I don't know where I'd be. When you're an adventure-seeking kid, fighting 'zombies' in an apocalypse sounds exciting, and exhilarating, you fantasize about how you'll save the world, kick infected ass, and most importantly — Be one of the chosen ones to survive. Because of your 'strength', your 'resilience'. I was that and then some, and it had unfortunately burnt bridges I never even got to build.

So, I waited. I waited with bated breathing until the day Joel came back with two horses, food, and supplies for the long road home.

Home. I hadn't had one of those in a while. Not since her anyway.

Hopping down from Lainey's back, I leave her to be taken to the stables. Everyone seemed to have their own tasks, it was a well-oiled engine, you could say. Before I even knew it I was being led down the street, and the question I had on my tongue was as predictable as ever, I could tell by the way the man who never smiled broke character to chuckle at it.

"How is she?"

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

"Ellie? Well, she's Ellie. Stubborn as a mule but damn good at any job thrown her way. Ellie...She's...good."

It wasn't long before that familiar brooding solemn Joel returned to my vision, I could tell something was heavy on his mind, and before I knew it I was chewing on my bottom lip with the guiltiest feeling baring on my soul, knowing I was probably to blame for how strained their relationship seemed to be now. I couldn't help it, really, the man looked like a kicked puppy, I had to say something.

I clear my throat and begin an apology that was long overdue on my part. "Hey Joel, I'm uh, I'm so-"

He stopped me with a raise of his hand, shaking his head before letting out a sigh so filled with regret you could hear behind it. "The fault was and is all mine for lying to her in the first place, darlin'. You ain't done a thing but care about Ellie since y'all have known one another, and truthfully...that's all I ask for. She deserves that much."

My mouth went drier than the damned Sahara at his words, but I couldn't get another one of my own in before he was walking ahead of me, forcing me into a power walk so that I could keep up. He eyes me from his peripheral, and a brief moment passes before his arm wraps around my shoulder, it's a fatherly type of presence that I had learned to revel in since I'd gotten closer to Joel. "Welcome home, kid. Let's get you outta this snow, and show you where you'll be sleeping."

He whistles, and calls someone over, a woman, long brunette locks, tan ivory skin, around my height but a little taller comes striding over to us, pretty, looks kind. Joel calls her Dina as he introduces us, her hand held out to shake mine. "Dina, this is Riley, the newest of us. Can you show her to her room? Me and Jesse are heading out to patrol before it gets too dark out here."

Dina nods eagerly enough that it makes me feel less nervous and a little more welcome. "Not a problem, where's she headed?"

"Cabin. By me and Ellie's place."

"Gotcha. C'mon, Ri. We got it from here, right? I think so. It's nice to meet you, by the way. Welcome to our little sanctuary."

She and I were already walking away from Joel and I'd barely even noticed, my heart thundering in my ears, repeating Joel's words over and over like a broken record in my head; I miss almost every word she speaks aside from the last bit, muttering my own 'Nice to meet you too, thank you' back at her, my heart pounding in my chest thrice as quickly as it should.

'Cabin. By me and Ellie's place.'

Jesus, be a fence.

6:00 am, Friday. I remember the first time I saw someone turn into an infected before my own eyes, at first it was like any old common cold, we kept the wound clean but it got bad, horrible really fast. The 'adults' wanted me out while it happened, though I knew what the outcome would be; I'd seen the slaughter and participated in it firsthand just trying to survive, but this was different. — I peeked around the corner after I had been kicked out, a crack in the door my only view into the room, and it was there I saw it go from bad to worse. It had only been around 8 minutes when his symptoms went from common cold to something much more painful, I had never heard such bone-chilling agonized screaming before, his body writhed and twisted, but not in the traditional horror movie sense, no, he looked as if he wanted to get comfortable, ease the pain any way he could but he couldn't. It'd stayed that way for around 4 minutes and then... Silence. Complete. 3 more minutes. It was still like the moment had been frozen in time. You could hear a pin drop. A low growling hum broke the silence. A resounding gunshot joined its cause shortly thereafter. I saw his eyes before they closed for the final time, and if I hadn't known any better, I would've thought he'd seen me too the way they appeared to look directly my way. Grey, nearly dead, but filled with what looked like relief. He seemed almost...thankful. 15 minutes. I counted every minute from the clock in the room to the watch on my wrist, I'd counted. He’d been a normal guy. One that had come and gone in only 15 minutes. And he wasn't the only one, soon it was widely known how fast it took and I was used to counting down every. little. minute. ↳ When did 15 minutes become so long? My hand shook pointing the gun at her, I couldn't do it, man. I wouldn't. I won't. Ellie and I've been holed up in this old abandoned mall for 4 hours now, it wasn't supposed to be this long a trip but we got sidetracked by the wonders of the mall that I'd been wanting to show her since I found it, only, I'd hurt her. I knew I did, she was pissed when I snuck up on her after not checking in in so damn long. I couldn't leave without a goodbye. As I look over at her sleeping figure, I find myself more confused. The last 4 hours were fun, or at least, the first two were. We explored, found stupid scare masks to put on, made our own fun, and finally, we got to play video games, just like the magic skull had told Ellie we wouldn't be able to. The smile on her face had made everything worthwhile. A fairytale in an apocalypse. ...I guess the apocalypse didn't like that all too much. Fun. Romance. It was already too late when the stalker had pounced on Ellie, I emptied my clip into the damned thing and it still got one final bite in. Ellie didn't utter a word about dying, or turning. She seemed disconnected after it happened, her own pistol pointed at her head, she waited for a shot that wouldn't come. I couldn't do it. I pleaded with her. Give me those last 15 minutes. She'd silently nodded. That was two hours ago.

"Well, this is it. I was wondering why Joel seemed so hellbent on getting this place cleaned up. We haven't happened upon any other survivors in months. You must be pretty special, the people around here aren't too...trusting." Dina chattered on as we entered the small one-bedroom cabin that'd be my living space. I had my own living space. It wasn't big, no upstairs, just right for a person living by themselves. I couldn't bite back my grin, a real-life home, no mold, no cracks or leaks, there's a space heater in the corner, I must've looked like a dream-struck idiot because Dina spoke up again.

"Where were you before this? If I may."

"Cold ass warehouse."

I hear her snort a little, leaned up against the opened front door. I was expecting another comment, more small talk that felt like it'd been running on for hours.

Instead, I'm not met with the new sound of Dina's voice, my ears are met with a familiar voice, one I could remember just by the sound of her breathing. When presented with the option of fight, flight, or freeze, I was always more privy to picking either of the former but today, my body seized, a rare freeze.

8:30 am, Sunday. I don't know if I made the right decision. After Ellie survived the bite and continued to survive the bite, I made an impulsive decision a week later. Told Marlene about what had happened, and that's why we're here in this car. El's head in my lap, asleep soundly while riding to Firefly headquarters with Joel to possibly find a cure to end this thing. At least that's how Marlene explained it. She told me they'd run some tests, learn what makes Ellie immune, and see if they could replicate it, turn it into an antivirus. I wanted to stay hopeful; She was. And she'd been the one attacked. Ellie's selfless like that, she always has been, and it amazed me usually. Right now...It fucking terrified me. In the pit of my stomach, I felt dread. In the pit of my stomach, I felt dread, horror, and concern while going to a place where I had desperately wanted to be only three weeks before. ↳ We had to pull over. The anxiety got so bad Ellie had to hold my hair while I vomited on the side of the road, Joel stood protectively near us with a shotgun in his hand and though neither party complained, I had enough shame and embarrassment for all three of us. The nausea is still here. So is the anxiety.

"Di, you left some clothes at mi-" My heart, I was sure, had dropped to my ass when I laid eyes on her, it was almost surreal. There she was. Ellie Williams in the flesh stood in front of my very eyes, it was like those dramatic romcoms where the two main characters lay eyes on one another for the first time, cheesy music playing behind them and the wind mysteriously blowing in their hair dramatically.

Reality was far less compelling, maybe even disappointing. Her eyes didn't move from mine, gaze unwavering and I wish I could say I held her gaze, that I was a stronger woman, but the person in front of me; Her effect was strong, my heart pounding in my chest, thudding loudly in my ears.

She was still the same Ellie I once knew, her features familiar but older, voice a little lower and filled with a light rasp and a newfound maturity. She was beautiful, but she always had been. — I'm transported into the past, remembering how many times I spent staring at and just...admiring her.

I watch her feet when she shuffles over to Dina, butterflies in my stomach and chest tight. I know I have zero right to be jealous and zero claim on Ellie anymore, hell I barely even know her now but fuck did it still hurt seeing that damned black bra sitting atop the pile of clothes she handed back to Dina, the implications behind it rather clear.

I don't know why I didn't allow myself to speak first, my tongue darting out to lick my dried chapped lips; I couldn't feel any more excited than the moment she took the option from me, she turned to me, that all too familiar half grin on her face. "Riley..."

"You two...know each other?"

My gaze drags itself back over to her and Dina. I only manage a weak nod. Ellie's own eyes hadn't left me, and it fills me with a hope I don't believe I deserve to have. I'm not able to muster even the smallest reply. My chest feels so tight that I have to remind myself I'm not dying, though it feels like a heart attack waiting to happen when I'm standing in front of her. Funny that, an entire apocalypse happening before our very eyes and the thing most likely to end my life were the eyes of the ex-girlfriend I let slip through my grasp. Oh, this cursed blessing we call love and its bittersweet intricacies.

"Ellie?" Dina asks again. The look on her face and the desperation in her voice aren't dead on me. I could tell she'd probably put two and two together on her lonesome when both Ellie and I hadn't uttered a word, both of us looking like deers caught in headlights. She clears her throat, resigning her efforts to find out more, at least for now, that is.

"How did you find this place?" Ellie speaks up next, one of her fists clenched to her side, a tell I'd learned meant she was holding back her emotions. Fighting them with all her might. I didn't quite blame her.

I had a track record for surprising her, and not in ways I've ever been too proud of.

"Joel's been putting in a good word for me, i-it was never a sure thing because the locals wouldn't trust me. Took a good almost 3 months, but I'm here." I muster up the weakest breathy laugh I can, a stupid attempt at keeping things light, but I could tell by the look in her eyes...I'd hurt her again.

I knew why I didn't keep in touch, but it'd always look bad in her eyes, rightfully so. I was always running from something, or towards it. And in pursuit, I'd isolate myself. Abandon the ones who cared too much, who loved too hard. It was all so overwhelming when in hindsight...I didn't even love myself yet, and so I ran. I ran to convince myself I couldn't be loved, or maybe I ran because I'm scared to be loved. Either way, I've done a helluva lot of it. From my past, my present, hell even my damned future.

"So...You've been keeping in touch with Joel? Huh."

Marlene was someone I thought I could trust, I regarded her with the highest respect. She is, was, like a maternal figure to me, motherly and caring. She trained with me, helped me learn to hunt for food, and made sure I was fed and clothed. Hell, she'd have given me the clothes from her sooner than she'd let me go cold. All this being told to say,,, FUCK MARLENE, and FUCK FIREFLY. We're ending this tonight. Ellie deserves better than the world is giving to her, and I'm fucking determined to give it to her. I brought Marlene to her eagerly when I found out just how special I already knew she was, I've put in danger too many damn times for me to count. I'm making this better. Ellie, do you hear me? I'm making this fucking better!

I couldn't breathe, it felt like I was suffocating from thick tension in the cabin, two pairs of eyes on me and the most important set held a hint of betrayal in them, I couldn't hold on much longer but it wasn't me who gave in first. Ellie looks at me with so much conflict in those all too familiar eyes. She looks like she wants to say something, anything. After a while I see her gaze travel back to Dina and I feel a little sense of bittersweet relief.

She was slipping through the cracks of my fingers all over again.

"We should go help start on dinner for the kids, D."

There was something in Dina's gaze that told she picked up on the history. She was quiet, demure as opposed to the excitable social butterfly I'd met just moments before. She nods at Ellie's request, giving me only a quiet "Bye" with a limp-handed wave.

Ellie doesn't look back. I keep willing her to. I know she feels my stare burning through hers. 'Ellie, please' My eyes pleaded, and I could feel tears welling. My heart nearly stops the second she turns one last time. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. Her expression is unreadable, but that doesn't matter to me.

She looked back.

The carnage was bad. Marlene was just one of many Joel and I slaughtered that night. Would you not do the same for the girl you loved? I couldn't watch them kill her, and I got the sense Joel felt a fatherly love towards her now. He wasn't letting her go down without a fight either and that...That I don't regret. She's still alive. The aftermath is what keeps me up most nights. Ellie was suspicious from the get-go, Joel had fed her some lie about there being others like her, about raiders slaughtering the many in the Fireflies massacre. He told her a cure couldn't be replicated from her immunity, and I? I sat there numbly nodding along when all I wanted to do was blurt out the truth and deal with the consequences while this could still possibly be salvaged, and maybe that was delusional of me, but Joel could see I didn't have it me to keep this a secret from her...I could see the disappointment clouding his stare. When Ellie had finally had enough of the storytelling, he told her everything while I sat with my hands folded neatly in my lap and my head bowed cowardly, I wasn't able to look her in the eyes. I had never heard Ellie so angry the night she broke up with me. I deserved it...We deserved it.

"Ex?" Dina asks and I instantly wanna shut down. We were just getting into a rhythm, and though we weren't official? I still feel so damn guilty about the emotions Riley's presence brings me. A conflicting feeling of happiness, relief, a little bit of anger, and sadness? But there was one untapped emotion that was unlocking its cage at the mere sight of her. I choke it down and give Dina an honest answer because I at least owe her that.

"Mhmm. But we were kids. Nothing serious."

The understatement in my words made me wanna curl in on myself. How could I sit there and tell Dina she wasn't serious to me when she's been the only thing on my mind since before I even met Dina.

I feel sick.

"Nothing serious, Williams?" Dina arches a brow as if scanning me for any hint of a lie, and I cook up another one even with multiple on my tongue already. I stomach the acid that comes with swallowing my words. Hard truths.

"Yeah. Nothing serious. Why? Jealous?" Our shoulders knock, and I force myself to smile, I give myself this distraction because I'm not quite sure I'm ready to face the music. Eventually, I know it won't be an option but right now...

"That's cute, Williams. No, I'm not jealous but remind me to kick your ass with some snowballs later just for asking."

"Defensive. Must be some truth to it."

Dina sends a glare my way and that red blush dusts across her cheeks with a familiarity that both warms and breaks my heart immensely. She gives me the middle finger and I can't help but chuckle. "Again? Would be my pleasure."

She groans, but I can see that little hint of a smile appearing on her lips. One she can't control, and yet she tries hard to.

"Shove it."

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

"WHEW." Exhaustion was written on Riley's face, the midmorning frost can hardly keep her awake, nor the sound of hooves galloping through the snow. What does keep her awake comes in the form of the brunette on the horse in front of her.

Exes were something most regarded through black and white lenses, there were unwritten guidelines on how to deal with them and the most important always seemed to be to stay away from them. Protect your peace; Heal.

It was easier said than done when Ellie Williams was your ex. She had an effect on people that left a mark in their psyche so deep, she simply stayed there far past her welcome. Riley was aching, she was aching every day she was near her. The air was always thicker than a knife could cut it, so many words were left unsaid, and emotions were left with no closure.

Neither is ready to talk just yet. Neither are ready until the first rumble of thunder and lightning. The two stop their horses to look at back at one another with concern etched onto their features. Riley is the first to speak up.

"Should we go back?"

Ellie's eyes take Riley in and for a moment she's silent as if contemplating something before ultimately shaking her head. "Nah, I know a place not too far from here. We won't have time to go back. C'mon."

Without another word uttered between them, Riley trails behind her heart beating out of her chest at the thought of being alone with Ellie for God knows how long while the storm raged, this was something she'd been anxious about since the first day she was allowed duty.

↳

There were unwritten rules when dealing with exes and the most important was that you obviously don't associate with them let alone get back together with them, and maybe that was Ellie's problem. She had never been too fond of the rules. Her eyes were glued to Riley's back as they walked into the warehouse, a storm brewing too fast for them to dodge it and get back to town, Riley could feel her heart pounding at simply the thought of being stuck with Ellie during a snowstorm.

What would they do? Talk about? She was convinced Ellie wanted nothing to do with her and she couldn't start a conversation, not with guilt bearing on her heavier than it'd done the night she betrayed her.

She can't look her way.

"Y'know if we're gonna be stuck here, we might as well get used to it."

Ellie was the first to speak up and it'd shock Riley into silence if she'd been talking. She swallows, her palms feeling sweaty and eyes darting around the room to find something they can land on. She has to reply but she has no idea what to say.

"Yeah." is all she musters. Fucking yeah.

"That the best ya got? After all these years?"

Ellie doesn't know what she's doing or why she's doing it, she just knows Riley brings it out of her and she hates every last second of it, the way her heart desires forgiveness and reconciliation, even if her mind didn't. It was a pull she could never quite deny when it came to her.

Riley licks her lips, head nodding. She turns on her heels and their eyes meet for the first time since they'd reunited in a way that gave Riley hope in her time here. Their time here. "You wanna talk? Okay, let's talk."

↳

"We were so young back then. Naive. Stupid." She coughed, her lungs hadn't felt the burn of smoking weed in so long. She'd almost forgotten it existed until Ellie pulled a joint out of her boot; Her cough turns into a small laugh that's followed by Ellie's own. Her hand reaches over and she damn near flinches when it's rested on her arm. She can't help the way her eyes shift to the movement, Ellie's voice soft in her ears.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

The silence that befalls them is a tense comfort, their eyes never drifting and both with matching smiles on their lips.

"I missed you, Ri. You were suppoed to be here."

Riley's smile slowly faded with Ellie's words, looking elsewhere, she leans forward slightly, "I'm sorry I wasn't."

Before Ellie even knows it she's reaching out, tilting Riley's head back to her, lips without further warning pressing to hers, and for once in her life, she doesn't regret it.

It feels right. Ellie's hand tangles into her hair, tugging her as close as she could damn well get her as she attempts to put years of being apart, years of trauma and heartbreak into one lousy kiss.

Her hands roam, and it's not something just desperate. Something needy. She wants to memorize Riley all over again, and if she could simply confirm the reality of the situation as well, she absolutely would. She simply needed the confirmation.

Her fingers trail up her neck, eyes moving down to the woman who'd somehow ended up beneath her, chests heaving and lips connected by a thin line.

"Thank you for coming back."

A lazy smile rests upon her lips, her body filled with nervous energy, she wished to be cool, smooth, something that didn't come out as a shy muddled mess, yet the second her lips part...

"Can we...do that again?"

"Kiss?" A low chuckle rumbles through her chest, propped up on an elbow with her chest pressed against hers.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" Licking her lips, she brings Rylie closer, feeling the tension release from her joints, the stress of longing and unending denial. She'd always carried it with her like weight, something she couldn't shake.

For now, she feels light.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

Ellie's eyes cut over to Dina for the 50th time, chewing on her bottom lip, I can tell she feels the same horrid mix of guilt and relief. I can see it on her face and I don't think I can quite blame her. What we've done...

I never deserved to just be able to walk back into Ellie's life and I'm sure Dina is feeling every bit of it, I think I know the feeling. That hopelessness I felt the moment I saw them together. As though I thought she wouldn't have moved on.

"It's okay, El." I put a hand on her shoulder that I know won't be as relieving and comforting as I hope it to be.

"She's looking over here." She whispers back to me, hand grasping mine like it was her only way to escape, and my lips take no time when kissing the back of it, allowing her to pull me closer for a moment.

I feel sick myself, I feel nauseous. I know I don't deserve this. I know Dina deserves better, and yet my selfishness doesn't allow me to let go. I hold on tighter.

There's a tap on my shoulder, and when I turn around, I can feel my stomach tighten. I deserve this. Whatever hell there is to pay.

Instead she holds up a red solo cup and offers it to me. I can smell the nostalgic aroma of hot chocolate, the steam warming my freezing cheeks as I take it between a gloved hand. El lingers right beside me, I can feel her breath on my skin.

"Drink. It has marshmallows. That's a rarity, y'know." Dina prompts, nodding her head to the cup, her expression hasn't changed and it's almost threatening though in the most oddly comforting sense I had ever felt.

"Is it poisoned?" My stomach growls, hesitating the slightest bit to bring it to my lips. It was a joke. Mostly.

Without a beat skipped, Dina shrugs. "Yes."

There it stays, that blank expression for another beat or two. All three of us are stuck in a staredown and none of us a blinking.

Her lips quirk up into a little half-smile. I'm soon to follow. Ellie looks relieved.

My lips wrap around the rim.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎

A/N: I’M BACK! and i brought LESBIANS with me!! 😁

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

im the same anon that asked you if you ignored some req, i requested ellie and dina hcs with a s/o that Is like jinx from the game! I Hope you have a nice day/night and ty!!

(Hello! Sorry that these suck I just didn't know what to do but eh, Enjoy!)

Jinx-Like Reader

Ellie

Ellie is…struggling

She doesn’t really know what to get from you

You have a lot of issues, that's for sure

She tries to be with you in moments that you needed her

She will try and help you feel better and get better but there is only so much she can do

Especially with how you love blowing things the fuck up

That, she finds funny

But please don’t blow up anything near Jackson

A herd of Clickers from a safe distance away and where they’re unable to get to you guys?

Sure!

Go ahead, she’ll be there for laughs and giggles

If you have hair like Jinx, she is amazed

Ellie never was really around people who had long hair

A lot cut it off in fear of being grabbed

You?

Hell yeah!

She really, really liked your hair

Is entranced by it so mf much

She likes holding a braid and just like twirling it around in a circle lmao

If you also have tattoos, not necessarily like Jinx, she is happy to see ‘em

A lot of people have tattoos but she really loves yours for some unexplained reason

She also thinks your outfit of choice is very very nice

As long as she is able to look

“Hell yeah! My girlfriends fuckin’ hot!”

She is a proud woman for you

Loves the outfit, the hair and everything bitch

You also like inventing stuff?

Please help her make gadgets because this girl is clueless

She is also stunned at how you fight so…smooth

You have reflexes she wishes she had, your quick on your feet and you can shoot a gun really well

She sleeps well at night knowing you can protect yourself

She likes how chaotic you can be at times

She will pull pranks with you on anyone, mainly Joel

(In my mind they’re happy, okay?!)

And Tommy, and Dina, and Jesse, and Maria

Anyone.

Smoke bombs, glitter bombs, confetti bombs, you name it!

She doesn’t give a flying fuck <3

Dina

Dina loves you, don’t get me wrong

But you confuse her

She never knows what she’ll quite get from you exactly

But she’ll be there for every moment of it

When you’re struggling especially

She knows what to do when someone is in need and she will help you the best she can as your girlfriend

She feels bad if she can’t do more but she tries

You like blowing shit up also?

Oh no

I mean, you do you but Dina is nervous

What if you get hurt?

What if you accidentally blow someone else up?

What if J.J gets one of your bombs and pulls a pin?

Keep them away and in a safe place as long as you’re with Dina please

But she has no problem with your joke bombs

Smoke bombs, glitter bombs etc

She loves pulling pranks with them

She will die laughing with you when pulling them also

She likes helping you make random things

She also knows that you can defend yourself pretty well

She probably had you teach her how you shot so well

She also, like ellie, was stunned at how fast you moved when fighting

You had really fast reflexes that she finds awesome

She also really, really, really, loves your outfit

And you’re confident in it!

She won’t outright say it, but she finds you hot as shit

And if you have hair as long as Jinx?

Dina will be surprised at first but she will help you keep it in the best condition possible

Need help washing it? Styling it? She’s your girl!

She likes putting the braids in most of all also

She is pretty chaotic herself

So when she and you get together is the best

And J.J is training to take after you little shits