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#ty for bringing back my art drive AF
coagulatedink · 2 months
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Thoughts on my 1st* Art Fight!
Thought it might be helpful to write up what my (*mostly) first experience with Art Fight was like! Those who have participated in multiple years of AF may not find this helpful and thats ok! This will be going over my Goals, my Final Stats, why I tried AF and why you might enjoy it, who might not enjoy it, and any other final thoughts. If you're looking for more insight into the art I created (and everything related to that) you'll want to check out a future post that will be linked here! Now! Onto the words!
My Goals for AF 2024
As someone who very often takes projects and runs with them once I get momentum, I knew it was important to try to enforce (keyword try) some sort of limitations with AF. The hope was if I kept to these "rules" or limits, I wouldn't end up biting off more than I could chew and avoid burnout n bad feelings! My goals/limits ended up being;
Choose characters that seem fun
Don't start art without a concept
Some aspect must be experimental
Attempt to finish art in under 3 hours!!
No re-dos! Go with the flow!
Try to submit a total of 30 attacks
Attempt at least 1 revenge
Dang! That sure is a whole lot to keep in mind and work towards!! My logic behind "fun characters" and "no concept no art" was this; if I can't enjoy myself while drawing the character there isn't a good reason to be drawing them. This doesn't mean the character design is poor or boring- it just means that based on my restrictions already listed I needed to make sure I also was having a good time! Having a concept, even if it was just an idea, also guaranteed that I'd draw something vs nothin! Overall these goals/limits felt manageable and I'm glad I went with them. Now! How did it all go?
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My 2024 AF Outcome!
Here are my final stats as of August 3rd 2024 when AF closed its submissions (I'll update this post with any changes in the future);
Points: 1008.5 -- Attacks: 14 -- Friendly Fire: 2 -- Defenses: 7
As you can see; I didn't reach my goal of 30 attacks. 😔 I know, I too..think that was too high of a number LOL! When I wrote it down I think I thought I'd be doing simpler, smaller, less time consuming submissions! I also thought I'd be doing a lot of single character illustrations with minimal bgs, so composition and consideration of flow for a larger cast didn't enter my mind (at the time). Aaannndd then I came up with multiple concepts for art that had many many characters and that plan went out the window haha!! Even though I didn't submit 30 attacks, I did end up;
Fully rendering art of 27(28?) characters that weren't my own!
Drawing my new sona Guy twice!
Designed a whole new sona during AF!!!
Came up with roughly 20 concepts all together (5 did not get finished in time)!
Getting some AMAZING defenses/revenges from some lovely artists!!
Had all 5 of my characters drawn!!!
Spoke to/found a love of amazing artists I wouldn't have met/seen otherwise!!
Stayed true to the majority of my goals/limits!
Again, I'll go into the art side of everything in another post (with pictures) but I will say I love everything I made for AF. Its a very nice feeling to set goal and surpass them- esp after a very long period of art block/fatigue! I went in expecting 0 revenges or attacks/defenses and was delighted at what I ended up reviving. To those of you who drew me something- thank you! If I get your permission I would love to show off your art here as additional thanks!! So, after all that- was it worth it? - - - - - -
Was Art Fight "Worth it" to me?
Yes. LOL! Art Fight was def "worth it" to me. Sorry to jump to the end of it haha- let me go into it a little more like I said I would!
I joined Art Fight the second week of July- partly bc I wasn't sure if I really wanted to take part. As I mentioned, I had attempted to take part in Art Fight in the past! The first time I completed 2 attacks, but never ended up posting ether (if memory serves) or writing down the artists name (so I dont even know who they belong to). A couple of years ago I tried again, but those attacks were aimed at my partner at the time and mostly just an excuse to draw something for them-- it wasn't really made in the "spirit of Art Fight". In both cases I wasn't very familiar with the interface, the point system, the submission system- you get the idea. So when I started fresh and began the process of uploading characters, and later attacks, I was pleasantly surprised! Everything was simple enough and the things I was unsure about (mainly how to rate my works) had articles or answers on the official Art Fight Tumblr that helped a ton! These factors + the encouragement from friends who had already taken part gave me the push to set my goals/limits and give it a try!
At first I was a little discouraged- I didn't think anyone would like my characters or my artwork. I worried I was creating for no one but myself, which isn't bad!!! HOWEVER! This can feel isolating when you're submitting it to a place they're literally a hive of active artists, and as someone who hasn't posted a whole lot of art publicly in the last two-three years I was nervous to put myself out there!! Thankfully I got a lot of love and kind comments from friends, mutuals' and even complete strangers! It was immensely gratifying!!! My submissions were a little sporadic the rest of AF- if I felt up to working on something I'd work on it. If I didn't..I didn't! That did mean there was a lot of last minute attacks haha, especially after going over the top with a sona-centric illustration. Still! In 22 days I managed to make 16 fully rendered works- each one unique in its own way! Thats great!!
My reasoning for taking part in Art Fight is pretty simple; I enjoy drawing other folks characters and I love to experiment with my artwork. When I was younger I spent a lot of time on Deviant Art, specifically in clubs/groups. It was always fun to flip through groups and see all the different character designs, all the different styles and settings, and soak it all in. Now-a-days art based RP groups aren't really a thing, and finding places where you can easily flip through a varying range of artists and hobbiests works isn't as easy as it used to be. AF brings back a touch of nostalgia and a lot of good vibes from me! Its nice to feel like you're not only being acknowledged, but seen as an artists, esp online where its so easy to get lost in the massive sea of creators. To me AF didn't feel like I was going against anyone, but working alongside a ton of creatives- and that is an amazing feeling!! Its the same feeling I got from those old DA groups, from working on zines and even the fabled OCTs. Collaboration is beautiful and amazing and I hope other folks left Art Fight feeling as good as I did!
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Should YOU try Art Fight?
Are you older? Younger? New at art? Been doing art for a while? Tall? Short? An alien? Well! Art Fight may just be for you! No but seriously, AF isn't just for teens or people in their early 20s- its for everyone at every skill level. When I looked for characters I wasn't thinking "oh how talented is this artist" I was thinking "would this character be fun to draw". If you can approach AF like that you will most likely have a lot of fun! Well that and making sure you set yourself up for success. For those who have never taken part, or took part but feel like you had too much slack/creative freedom I suggest the following (in no particular order);
Use the tag system and find types of characters you KNOW you will enjoy drawing. If you love clowns look for clowns! If you would prefer object heads look for object heads! The tagging system is new, and I encourage everyone to use it, so it won't have EVERYONE but it will have options! This can help narrow down your choices vs just looking at the newly submitted or random characters.
See if any artists you admire/are friends with/are mutuals with are taking part! Sometimes the total unknown can be daunting! It can be easier to draw art for a friend, or someone you admire- and it gives you an excuse to do so.
Give yourself a limitation of materials you will use! Maybe you'll only use color pencils, or GIMP, or everything can only be down with blue ink- limitations like that can help establish a through-line through your submissions that can add a little stability.
Pick a theme for your attacks- maybe the first week everyone is drawn as Spooky Monsters, and the next week everyone is painted like they're from a Picasso painting. Just make sure to respect any character rules listed on character profiles!!
Stick to characters who have rules and suggestions! Personally I found these characters to be much more appealing (or unappealing) bc it automatically told me what I could or couldn't do from the start. If it felt too restrictive I'd say "no thanks" and keep looking! And if they had prompts I was more likely to use them bc it gave me a jumping off point.
Set a time limit. This can be the amount of time you will allow yourself to work on an attack, or it could be how much of Art Fight you're willing to take part in! Its ok if you say "I'm only going to work on weekends in July" or "I'm only going to attack the second week and thats it" ect! You do not need to take part every day! Do what works well for you!! Its your time and you should be having fun!
Art Fight should be FUN and if its not fun for you I'd suggest stepping away and doing something else that will bring you joy. My biggest suggestion for anyone who wants to try it out is to go in with low expectations and do what feeling good to you. If you have a hard time with any sort of competitive atmosphere, major anxiety about time restrictions, or just don't enjoy showing you art publicly, you most likely won't enjoy Art Fight. This doesn't mean you can't try!!! You can!! It just might not end up being your cup of tea.
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Final Thoughts (I promise I'm almost done)
Art Fight is, to me, what you make it. Setting limits, creating prompts, "gamifying" the event; that made taking part manageable even with everything else I need to juggle on a day-to-day schedule in my personal and work life. I think not taking too much of it too personally also helped- and I did struggle with this at the start! But then I saw I could draw a literal sock and was like "I think maybe I should just have fun" LOL! And I super did!! Drawing that sock was fun! Drawing a lot of what I made for AF was fun- I'm sad I didn't get to finish everything but I'm glad I was able to share my art with new people and get some cute stuff in return. I feel like I keep repeating myself with my positive comments, and I probs am, but I can't help it! The internet gave me a cool thing! And it ended well! Thats the total opposite of what I've experienced online LOL!!! To see people come together, see them create and gush and just be full of mirth n joy is very VERY nice during these not so nice times. I'm not sure if I'll be able to take part in next years AF, if I can though I totally will! Thanks for taking the time to read my lengthy write up! Did you take part in Art Fight? If so, what did you think? Would setting limits for yourself help you out, or would you prefer going loose-goosey? If you haven't tried might you attempt next year? Lemme know! I'm curious!!
Till next year-- Happy Art Fight yall!!!
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Janis & Jimmy
Janis: 👍? Jimmy: you? Janis: what kind of answer isn't that, boy 😏 Jimmy: what kind of question were it in the first place, girl? Janis: honestly, try and be a good host Janis: you just want me to be shit Jimmy: that's not what I want Janis: Go on, you've got me interested Jimmy: What, you're not riveted by Gracie's IRL storytime? 😱😱 Janis: if I was, I'd be subscribed Jimmy: OMG you're NOT suchanathlete69??! Jimmy: that's awkward Janis: Catfished again Janis: unlucky, mate Jimmy: did wonder why you were saving your best chat for them late night 🗨 we were having Janis: 🙄 Hilarious Janis: obviously you'd have got none if I'd have known you were coolguy666 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know Janis: welcome for the pain for your art Jimmy: #whenyourmusenevertakesadayoff Janis: this is a business trip Jimmy: owe you a golf holiday, I know Jimmy: gonna have to proper unwind for a bit as only a rich girl can Janis: No, no Janis: golf trips are boys only clubs Janis: 💔 💀👑 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: please never call her that Jimmy: you don't think it's a goer? reckon she'd 💕 it Janis: 🤢 Janis: she doesn't 💕 you, soz Jimmy: I'd obvs say it in her daddy's accent, not that thick Janis: Stop 😂 Janis: we cannot afford to pull over Jimmy: he ain't driving that fast, let's just jump out Janis: I know her voice IS that annoying Jimmy: could easily drown her out, mine's worse Janis: nah Janis: no 🥇 for you on that one Jimmy: [nudges her like rude] Janis: [nudges him back like it's a compliment, idiot] Jimmy: [a look like it's not one of your best 😏] Janis: [a look like you want my best rn?] Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [just the longest LOOK back ever but then looking at the fam like 😒 ugh] Jimmy: [just touching her 😒 face so she's looking at him again like forget them] Janis: [makes a lil noise like oh, but then so 😍] Jimmy: [a lil kiss but really soft and quick so nobody else notices] Janis: you are so Jimmy: you are Janis: no you Jimmy: [kisses her again less softly or quickly because no you] Janis: [goes in like dgaf fam] Jimmy: [y'all can deal we know Grace is the only one who's bothered and she's seen worse/is chatting away] Janis: better? Jimmy: how do you want me to answer that? Janis: truthfully Janis: obvs Jimmy: [shakes his head because we know any time they kiss he just wants to kiss more #mood but she could read that no as he's not gonna answer] Janis: [is a bit like ?? but shrugs like okay] Jimmy: [I like to think he's about to say something but then his phone is going off cos all that fam drama whenever he goes anywhere] Janis: [just sitting there, not knowing what the craic is #always] Jimmy: [sums up this era so accurately] Janis: do you reckon that lot are even in the car yet Jimmy: probably still trying to fit the tall one's body in the boot Janis: great Janis: HATE when you have to wait for the gals to decapitate ⏲😩 Jimmy: I'll tell 'em to crack on Janis: 'cos they always listen to you Jimmy: duh Janis: you'll need at least (1) sports car for those privileges Jimmy: better get to nicking one then Janis: oh yeah Janis: gonna be loads rocking up Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jules Janis: know I said it was a business trip Janis: but gonna be suspicious if you don't at least pretend to enjoy the tunes Jimmy: 🥇 but it'll still be a stretch Janis: you got this, babe Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: all tight tanks and short shorts, is it Janis: gotcha Jimmy: [😏] Jimmy: can't bully you into wearing pjs everywhere Janis: too right Janis: well soft, you Jimmy: [pushes her like oi but deliberately really softly] Janis: [😏] Janis: I might've brought a pair Janis: if you're lucky Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: not a paddy Janis: then I'm gonna be well cold in our tent tonight Jimmy: not gonna let that happen Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would do Janis: one who's busy jacking cars maybe Jimmy: fancy cars have heated seats, you'll be alright Jimmy: on or off my lap Janis: on Janis: thanks Jimmy: [pulls her onto his lap now so casually] Janis: [snuggles into him as casually like, could be warmer] Jimmy: [puts his arms around her like he's doing it for warmth but we know he's just pulling her closer too] Janis: alright, I'll trust you Jimmy: alright, I might be a bit lucky Janis: you can be Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: I can't wait to be alone with you again Jimmy: you sure we can't pull over? Janis: can you reach the break from here? Janis: [reaching her leg over like she's gonna but they are obviously nowhere near] Jimmy: [just looking at her like well you moving about is not helping] Janis: [is fully aware and enjoying it herself] Jimmy: [whispers in her ear that he hates her because we can't say what we really wanna say] Janis: [#into it and having to do the most to hide it from the whole van rn] Janis: you're so rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: it's you Janis: you started it Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: it's not my fault you look like that Janis: or feel like Jimmy: but you're so Jimmy: that's nowt to do with me Janis: it's everything to do with you Jimmy: alright maybe a bit Jimmy: I just Janis: I know Jimmy: do you? Janis: [a LOOK up like don't I?] Jimmy: [just gonna kiss her so you don't say something you shouldn't thank you boy] Janis: [a moment] Janis: Me too Jimmy: [looking at her because she's so beautiful it's killing us all] Janis: [when you can never keep looking as long as he can so you move somehow closer to hide] Jimmy: [making it so she has to look at you, excuse you sir cos you're shamelessly hot about it, as if all the eye contact in the world will do the job of telling her you love her so you don't have to do it #ifonly] Janis: [when you literally cannot and you go way too hard 'cos you have no other option because what can you say] Jimmy: [excuse them rn everyone, thank god Grace is loud af whether she's still talking or blasting music or both lol] Janis: [at least the camper does offer a degree of privacy too you two are clearly in the back alone] Jimmy: [mhmm you're all very welcome for that] Janis: ['can you be quiet?' when you're so serious suddenly 'cos the need is so real] Jimmy: [nods but like can you actually boy I am less convinced] Janis: [do your best lads 'cos we doing this regardless tbh] Jimmy: [you must've been pretty quiet in that kitchen the other day as his brother and sister were in the next room then, you can do this] Janis: [we believe in you, in his ear whilst she can still trust herself to whisper though, 'I'm gonna make it so hard for you'] Jimmy: [already biting his lip because you can't be making a noise that fast #challengeaccepted but he obvs wants to and would've] Janis: [biting his ear lobe at the same time 'cos forever a thing now for all those #mems 'it was never hard to fake this part, you know' 'cos we all know that was never fake 'cept the very first time 'you're so fucking wantable'] Jimmy: ['its so different with you' even as a whisper you can imagine how his voice sounds cos as much as he meant that like he's so over all the girls in his DMs telling him how hot he is etc that 100% isn't ALL he means, likewise he doesn't just mean this is so different from the fake and we all know it #emotions] Janis: [when it's obviously exactly the same for you and it's been known since the first kiss so it throws you when he says it 'cos still just think you're broken or something at this point and you really wanna ask really so he says it again but you don't wanna give yourself away so you just go in 'cos you need all the moments] Jimmy: [safer that both of you don't talk for a bit tbh] Janis: [deffo gonna be saying his name though like it's the only word you know casually] Jimmy: [so into it, she was not wrong about making it hard for him to shhhh] Janis: [so into that, soz to everyone else we know they do not care] Jimmy: [glad as I am Harold is not turning up at this festival always a bit gutted because you need to know just how much you can't compete sir] Janis: [foreals, though it should be obvious with how hard you're being ignored/she's not hitting you up] Jimmy: [just Mia in his DMs what a downgrade] Janis: [when even her intentions aren't pure, poor boy lmao] Jimmy: [I'm sure there's also loads of girls from your own school, I don't feel sorry for you boy] Janis: [no one should] Jimmy: [he's a bad egg] Janis: [and not even bringing it sexually, rude] Jimmy: [he and Mia so #fated cos she's obvs not either] Janis: [imagine they got together together if Mia wasn't cray] Jimmy: [they're getting as together as she ever does, being in love with her dad and everything, like he'll last longer than anyone else has] Janis: [awh, get married guys] Jimmy: [thank god they can't have babies cos imagine] Janis: [gutted y'all won't be invited to the wedding and baby shower] Jimmy: [so glad she's as barren so she can't have a child just to hurt Grace when that all comes out] Janis: [the levels of petty] Jimmy: [she'd be gutted she can't force one of the others to do it] Janis: [do not need that level of drama ty ladies] Jimmy: [anyway is there any other shit we wanna do with JJ before they get there?] Janis: [we know the vibe, in their happy bubble now 'til they have to deal with the flat whites again] Jimmy: [ignore your fam for as long as you can as well boy, you need a break] Janis: [do we wanna hit the flat white points in here or ref on socials or a mix of?] Jimmy: [we can probably do both cos plenty of slagging off of them to be done] Janis: [right, what do we wanna do first, what makes most sense, Asia maybe, or Mia] Jimmy: [we said that Mia hits that first aid tent pretty fast for the attention so we could do that first] Janis: [lego 👍] Janis: don't you fancy being 🥇 nurse? Janis: sure you can plump a pillow better than any of them 😏 Jimmy: that'll be why I'm legging it in the other direction Jimmy: she's getting too used to having me about as is Jimmy: and I've only got a 💀💀💀 pact with you Jimmy: unless 👵👴💕 come asking Janis: treat 'em mean is her whole thing, she'll 👀 your game from a mile off, like Janis: and I'll keep mine out for any 👵👴 that are down with the kids Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: d'ya reckon we could convince her 💊 were sleeping tabs or Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: though if she tells me she loves me, I will need the med tent for real 🤢 Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 💔 Janis: don't lie Janis: all you want is her love, be like you doubled your dose Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: can't all pile into first aid Janis: not getting in no tent with them again Janis: the ☁ of fucking glitter and 'perfume' was worse than tear gas Janis: gonna have flashbacks Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I get it, you already ✨ eh, vampire girl Janis: any more glow would just be showing off Janis: not like me, obvs Jimmy: don't sound like you at all Jimmy: [but kisses her] Janis: you tryna save me, yeah Jimmy: got some first aid skills of my own Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: [😏] Janis: can we keep that between us Janis: or they'll all be faking it Jimmy: they were warned only one of you is getting mouth to mouth ages ago Janis: her man ain't here so Janis: you're well in Jimmy: ⏲💔😭 Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the way like I g2g] Janis: me that's 💔💔💔 Janis: dickhead Jimmy: [pulls her into a hug that's meant to be OTT but is just real] Janis: [when you can't even pretend to push him away] Jimmy: ['I told you ages ago, I just want you' as a whisper in her ear but with kisses in between the words like the first time he said it for those mems] Janis: [the 😍 are so real, at least they must be somewhere nearby but definitely not for their benefit really we know 'good'] Jimmy: [we know he's giving them back] Janis: [they need to be dragged to an artist they 100% don't wanna see rn] Jimmy: [10000% cos for him that's literally all of them and I vote she sees community service girl with her 📷 but she doesn't see them cos busy and Janis makes sure Jimothy don't see her lol lol] Janis: [tbh, we all know there's ways of doing that, namely dancing with him, even if the music is far too shit so you have to make your own rhythm] Jimmy: [he's only got 👀s for her at the best of times so it's really not a challenge to distract him lol] Janis: [this can be when Ella freaks out too, when you and Mia just wanna be alone in the tent lmao you seem SO gay] Jimmy: [oh ladies] Janis: 🖖🕙✂ Jimmy: ? Janis: contenders for love's young dream Jimmy: you and Mr Lucas got a better shot Jimmy: 🎯💕 Janis: sure, he's less 💀 than them but young is still a stretch Jimmy: he's too young for me Janis: who isn't Janis: dead fussy Jimmy: we can't all be as unfussy as the #squad Jimmy: 💀#2 excluded Janis: you can say slags, it's alright Janis: never hear you over this racket Jimmy: [shouts it because that nerd] Janis: [loling] Jimmy: didn't have their hearing checked Jimmy: shit nursing that Janis: your standards are very high, it's been known Janis: [OTT smug face like look at me] Jimmy: [twirls her around because nerd] Janis: [fully have a nerdy dance moment and knock into people be those dicks 'cos the level you do not care about anyone else ever] Jimmy: [literally nobody else here as far as you two are concerned] Janis: [until we blow that up anyway] Jimmy: [speaking of I like to think Grace is starting to put the moves on whatever guy she ends up pulling to annoy Mia cos not there to stop her] Janis: [telling her all about his band and set, like how fascinating] Jimmy: [the fam she's grown up in, boy she knows] Janis: [when you realize none of 'em are paying attention now, Asia's probably missing and the two left are flirting so you see your chance] Janis: wanna go find some overpriced food n drink? Jimmy: stop calling me fat OMG 😱😱 Janis: [pokes his non-existent belly 'cos you ain't even with how much you smoke/general decent genetics, lucky] Janis: that's what we 💗 about you Janis: make us look better Jimmy: first off, Asia couldn't look any better, tah very much 👻💕 Jimmy: second, piss off you Janis: 🤞 an opportune date rapist has thought so too and we won't have to see her 'til tomorrow Janis: [going in the direction of the food trucks etc] Jimmy: [following her obvs] Janis: [holding her hand back like 'don't get lost'] Jimmy: [giving her look like he might find Asia but boy we all know you'd be gutted instead of thrilled if you did, stop playing] Janis: [gesturing with your free hand like be my guest, but 😒 face with it] Jimmy: [return of the pouty lip kiss thing because he can't even pretend he wants anyone else at this point] Janis: [enjoy your moment being so in everyone's way in this crowd] Jimmy: [we know you love it] Janis: [stay back community service gal] Jimmy: [we're not ready for you yet hun] Janis: [well you are gonna have to shoot your shot soon 'cos this is only a weekend but ignoring you rn thanks 'cos full on alone time 'cos the flat whites are being messy by themselves] Jimmy: [soz jj have gotta do the most so it's the most awkward when you do appear] Janis: [oosh she's gonna be so mad, already mad you're here like no you ain't allowed lol] Jimmy: [like I think she should do something at the last possible moment so then it's like raw af when they gotta leave] Janis: [I vibe] Jimmy: [so for now you can be happy nerds until Asia's bf appears and is like ??] Janis: [oh sir, you don't even know] Jimmy: [they'd both be so relieved you're not Harry though tbh] Janis: [#bffs probably checking his socials so hard making sure he looks busy somewhere else like] Jimmy: [she can be doing that while he's having a text argument with either his dad or sister casually] Janis: [awkward if he saw that out of context] Jimmy: [OMG should we] Janis: [why not yo] Jimmy: [let's say he goes to take her phone to look at something on Cass' socials cos she's blocked him as a fuming 12 year old would and that's how he sees it cos you know he's not gonna ask if he can borrow it just take it like a rude hoe] Janis: [when you're just like excuse me, taking it back 'cos you lowkey aren't even thinking how that looks] Jimmy: [looking at her like EXCUSE YOU cos of how it does look] Janis: [taking what would seem like a rude amount of time to get it like ? then just pshing like oh please] Janis: checking he ain't coming Jimmy: 👍 Janis: really Janis: what is up with you? Jimmy: [just shaking his head because fuming] Janis: ['what?' and a look like I know this cannot be about him rn] Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you can read my messages if you like, 'cos I ain't sent him none Jimmy: I don't wanna read whatever bollocks he reckons is top 🍑📞 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: yeah, me either Jimmy: don't wanna hear your protests either Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: Don't be a dick 🙄 Jimmy: you only about it when he's doing it? Janis: yeah, obviously Jimmy: 👌 Janis: seriously Janis: so you're gonna be in a mood now, for what Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: are you serious? Janis: I told you why I was looking at his shit, why do you have an issue with that? Jimmy: you weren't gonna say nowt til I caught you at it Jimmy: how's that to start with? Janis: don't make it sound like something it ain't Janis: it's irrelevant as long as he's not showing up, that's why Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you being glued to your screen ain't irrelevant Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not glued to my screen Jimmy: not now, dickhead Janis: oh, you want me to be loving this convo more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: wow, please tell me more Janis: 😍 Jimmy: go back to working out where he is Jimmy: never seen you care so much about owt else Janis: because I don't want to fucking see him Jimmy: check out his socials a bit harder while you're saying that Jimmy: see if you can really take the piss Janis: [walking off from wherever they're currently situated] Janis: fuck this then Jimmy: Great talk, babe Janis: don't talk to me then Janis: and don't fucking babe me Janis: as bad as that lot now Jimmy: Yeah I got the message that you don't wanna 🗨 Jimmy: could always block me like you ain't done him Janis: What do you want me to say then Janis: 'cos you ain't listened to fuck all I have Jimmy: I heard you Janis: don't believe me then Jimmy: you easy could've said to me, check he ain't coming Janis: why would I when I can do it myself and not bother you Jimmy: you don't wanna see him, there's a reason Janis: he's a prick? Jimmy: is that a question? Janis: hardly Jimmy: you think I can't handle him or what? Janis: Obviously not Janis: you did, didn't you Jimmy: what then? Janis: it didn't make any sense to me to have you thinking about him and if he might come and all Janis: that's it Jimmy: like I weren't Janis: well that can't be put on me Janis: or do, whatever Jimmy: I give a shit about what you do and don't want Jimmy: do what you want with that Janis: then believe me when I say I don't want him Jimmy: Alright Janis: is it or not Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: come back Janis: not yet Jimmy: please Janis: don't do that Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: it's fine Janis: whatever Jimmy: it's not Janis: I just need Janis: some fresh air Jimmy: I get it, everyone's doing my head in but you Jimmy: I didn't mean to do yours in an' all Janis: you mean 'til you caught me hoeing I weren't Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: I mean you weren't, that's why I said it Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: I were doing my own head in about that dickhead, you did nowt Janis: we can count him as a no-show, anyway Janis: not stalking him in vain Jimmy: yeah Janis: don't make me sound as cliche to say he ain't worth the mental energy Jimmy: don't make me sound as cliche as some dickhead who's only bothered by a bigger dickhead Janis: he's just some dickhead Janis: this town is full of 'em Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: ain't got the 🎻🎻 out for him Janis: well I don't need it, tah Jimmy: not playing you a song either, girl Janis: yeah, I noticed you didn't answer my question Jimmy: probably don't need answering then Janis: your mood is obvious, obvs Janis: you could give me a why Jimmy: I did Jimmy: I said everyone's doing my head in Janis: yeah Janis: beyond the obvious everyone and their standard annoying bullshit or Jimmy: depends Janis: depends on what Jimmy: what else you've noticed Jimmy: I dunno what's obvious to you or what bullshit you reckon is my standard Janis: 🔎🔎 Janis: that'd be telling Jimmy: there you go then Janis: take some of their drink Janis: doing them and us a favour Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it'll make you feel better Jimmy: weren't arguing Jimmy: no need to convince me, mate Janis: it's my calling Jimmy: don't give up 🏃 Janis: most people hear have heard the good word Janis: then some, state of 'em Jimmy: but have they heard Bill's? Janis: it's his 🌍 babe Janis: we're all just players Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm already a fan Janis: hipster scum Jimmy: it's my calling Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: good idea too Janis: don't need to tell you that though Jimmy: just did Janis: do plenty of things I don't need to Jimmy: you wanting a 🏆 for that or what? Janis: you wanted me to come back a second ago, dickhead Jimmy: I still want you to come back Janis: then don't sass me Janis: you are well becoming one of them Jimmy: saying that ain't gonna stop me wanting you back Jimmy: however many times you compare me to them slags Janis: shout it again so I know it's real? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [comes back from wherever she was, not that far away like 👏] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he hasn't seen her for a thousand years] Janis: [just coming over and hugging him in a way that is clearly genuine] Jimmy: [hugging her back really tightly even if he has to put that stolen vodka down to do it] Janis: ['I just want you too, alright'] Jimmy: [when you gotta kiss her because overwhelmed by emotions because we only got that cheating ex is our past no ride or die and no crying at the festival boy] Janis: [we just always kissing so we can't admit the obvious right now god bless] Jimmy: [both of you acting like you're shit with words but we know the truth is you're scared to say anything too hardcore because you're not shit with words at all] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [just not letting her go cos you're a clingy bitch] Janis: [doing that thing where you're backwards and just let him walk you around as one to cheer him] Jimmy: [feeding her some vodka because why let her do it herself when you can and make it a moment] Janis: [#aboutit even if you gotta be like 😏 'you trying to get me drunk?'] Jimmy: ['not much of a challenge that' forever calling her a pisshead and/or lighweight but smiling] Janis: ['wrong twin' and an OTT pissed off face whilst you return the vodka favour] Jimmy: [loling don't choke boy] Janis: ['I don't find it funny, thank you very much' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [tickling her to try and make her laugh too] Janis: [tryna escape but not that hard moment] Jimmy: [you know he's gotta make it hot and pin her up against something soz not soz] Janis: [when those #mems hit and you're 😳] Jimmy: [telling her you missed her even though she was only gone for a hot sec cos you're highkey] Janis: ['you are such a headfuck' followed by the most torturously slow kiss ever 'cos this whole situation got you like] Jimmy: [SUCH a noise because torture is right] Janis: [going at it like you're mad at him] Jimmy: [enjoy it cos we gonna make all that Asia drama happen soon] Janis: [oh Asia you fool, I like to think the people who's tent you're in don't even know that you're there like they're just chilling with a BBQ or whatever] Jimmy: [same though] Janis: [but your mans clearly thinks you're cheating on him so you getting dumped, poor hoe] Jimmy: [Mia and Ella would have totally encouraged him to believe that] Janis: [gotta let them have some victories, sadly] Jimmy: [I do love what a shit time you anorexic gays are clearly having though] Janis: [yes, overall this has been worth it, not that JJ are gonna care about that once we fuck this all up with community service girl but still] Jimmy: [soz lads] Janis: [hohaha it works out in the end so got to be done] Jimmy: [you gotta be pushed or you'll be fwb until you're like 23] Janis: [and there are babies to be had just you wait lmao] Jimmy: [beautiful af babies] Janis: [but for today, Asia drama pops off] Jimmy: [when he's gonna be worried cos he's a good boy not because he's 😍 thank you gals] Janis: [the level of 👀 they'll all be] Jimmy: [like soz he's triggered by her just disappearing shut your mouths ladies] Janis: [all be looking and shouting and pissing people off who are tryna kip probably like be those hoes] Jimmy: [how drunk the flat whites are I can't even] Janis: [Janis like 'I'll stay here in case she comes back' 'cos cannot be seen with them/does not care about Asia we all know lol] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna be separated but you have to go look because the squad can't be trusted to do fuck all rn] Janis: Godspeed Jimmy: Tah Janis: don't let lizard boy get in a punch up Janis: 'less you're gonna film it for me Jimmy: he couldn't throw a punch if you 💰 him, rich girl Jimmy: but if some dickhead gives him a smack, I'll obvs get my 📷 out Janis: maybe I will Janis: make it worth him coming down Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what's 👎 Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: what I said Janis: are you actually worried about her Jimmy: shut up Janis: fuck off telling me to shut up Janis: you know she's just carrying on the party somewhere else Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fine Janis: be a dick Jimmy: lasses first Janis: what, 'cos I'm not gonna freak out over wherever Asia is sucking dick and getting more white-girl wasted Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: have fun with that then Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: had no idea you were such an amateur Jimmy: Piss off Janis: really Janis: see if Mia needs anything whilst you're at it, like Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: if you're lucky Janis: depends if you're personally gonna check every tent Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not, you're being a mug Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: idc, and you clearly love it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: living laughing loving, me Jimmy: having a top time with my #lad BFF Janis: you fit right in, how many times can I say it Jimmy: as many times as you like Jimmy: wouldn't wanna piss on your parade Janis: yeah Janis: so considerate and caring Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted I'm not a massive bastard Jimmy: bit busy rn but I'll dry your eyes when I get back Janis: 'cos that makes sense Janis: don't bother, I don't need you Jimmy: don't bother to start talking sense now, you've been going on ages without any Janis: if you're so busy, then you don't have time to come at me with all this bullshit Jimmy: too right Jimmy: nowt left that needs to be said any road, you've well covered it Janis: yep Janis: go away now Jimmy: [does for ages because obvs they don't find Asia til the AM/way later we know and her bf is fuming and there's DRAMA and nobody notices that Jimothy is struggling with all this] Janis: [when you've just been here alone with nothing to do and no updates so you're casually fuming at all this] Jimmy: [just goes back into their tent because bye everyone he's so over y'all] Janis: [just lowkey shouting at them all to stfu with this bullshit now so he can get some peace] Jimmy: [get in your tent and sleep it off you hot messes] Janis: [just sat outside 'cos you aren't about to go in either tent like thanks so much for this gals] Jimmy: [just throwing a hoodie or whatever at her through the tent flap cos you know she's out there and it's been raining] Janis: [tapping the tent to say thanks 'cos you aren't gonna actually say it] Jimmy: [when you know they just sat on either side of this tent opening so casually how romeo and juliet of you] Janis: [the accidental drama of it all] Jimmy: [get drunker yourself boy that'll help SO MUCH honestly] Janis: [oh no no] Jimmy: [full of good ideas jimothy is] Janis: [when you just wanna go so bad but can't 'cos Asia's fucked that for you] Jimmy: [Oh Asia] Janis: [just picking up the shit they left outside and fucking it up/throwing it/losing it] Jimmy: [I don't blame you babe, go off] Janis: [gotta do something yo] Jimmy: [I'm just gonna leave him in here marding, much less productive] Janis: I'm going for a walk alright Jimmy: Alright Janis: you need anything? Jimmy: Like what? Janis: Shoes, is a good one Janis: more bottles, less likely but maybe Jimmy: I don't need owt off you Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: have my 😭 when you've gone Janis: no thanks Jimmy: on you go then Janis: weren't waiting on your permission Jimmy: weren't giving it Janis: just keep the search party away and it doesn't matter either way Jimmy: not your bodyguard Jimmy: or theirs Janis: yeah sure Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning tell yourself that then Jimmy: fuck you Janis: wow Jimmy: find someone else to take the piss out of while you're out and about Janis: I'm not the one that's taking the piss out of you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: No, not bollocks Janis: have I had you running 'round this entire place after me Janis: no Jimmy: I'd go looking for you whether or not you reckon it makes me a twat Janis: it makes you a twat for them Jimmy: she's an fucking idiot Jimmy: not gonna just leave her Janis: She's managed to keep herself alive just fine 'til now Janis: how is it your job Jimmy: what so I'm a knobhead when I'm not on the clock? Jimmy: tah Janis: oh whatever Janis: I can't be bothered with this Jimmy: Why do you care if I look for her for a bit or not? Janis: I don't Janis: the question is why do you care Jimmy: It's what we're here for, for a start Jimmy: fake nice Jimmy: not that you can be bothered Janis: bullshit Janis: it's not fake, and even if it were, they're all too plastered to care or remember Jimmy: And what? Jimmy: You're jealous of her now Janis: get real Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: and I told you, this whole nice guy thing Janis: can't be bothered Jimmy: her boyfriend's at a loose end, crack on Jimmy: he's well more your type Janis: yeah you wish Jimmy: weren't a request Jimmy: I'm actually alright for threesomes as it goes Janis: and I'm alright without them or any of their sloppy seconds so piss off Jimmy: night then Janis: good chat Jimmy: won't get any 🏆 or owt but whatever Janis: I'll cope Jimmy: I'll live an' all Jimmy: 💔 to hear it, I know Janis: yeah Janis: 'cos if you ain't a 👼 you're that dick Janis: no inbetween Jimmy: it's you who's trying to shove a label on my head, when you ain't chucking me in a reusable coffee cup with them that is Janis: What are you trying to prove Jimmy: What are you on about? Jimmy: she's gone, I had a look for her 'cause her mates are too pissed, nowt else Janis: 👌 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: just go to bed Jimmy: you ain't put any more work into being my step mum Jimmy: let that dream 💀💀💀 Janet Janis: You're so funny Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 🤐 then Jimmy: piss off with telling me what to do Janis: you're annoying Jimmy: yeah and you being a dickhead'll stop me Jimmy: good one Janis: what will Janis: seriously Jimmy: [stops replying like fine if that's how you want it seriously] Janis: [let's give you both a break] Jimmy: [we should say it's later and he's drunker and he's wandering around looking for her but in a more chill way than the flatwhites earlier so we're not waking half the campsite] Janis: [whereas she has been 'cos AM so nowt still officially on but people carrying on so she can be coming back] Jimmy: [awkwardly bumping into each other like] Janis: [literally 'cos can't straight up ignore him so just looking like oh, it's you] Jimmy: [looking at her like where the fuck have you been cos will never say it] Janis: ['I can't sit still'] Jimmy: ['I can't sleep'] Janis: ['why?'] Jimmy: [shrugs because so many reasons] Janis: [nods like #relatable] Jimmy: [nods like okay now I know you're alright I'll fuck off] Janis: [just looking at him like seriously 'this is stupid now'] Jimmy: [looking at her like it's been stupid this whole time] Janis: [walking alongside him like where are we going then 'cos you aren't just leaving] Jimmy: [god knows where they are actually going but he's sneaking looks at her with every step honey] Janis: [if you see it's 'cos you are too so can't say anything] Jimmy: ['I don't get why you're fuming at me' cos drunk enough we can just say it] Janis: [when you didn't take a bottle so you aren't at that level so you're more awkward but like alright, we're doing this, shrugs 'cos doesn't fully get it herself that's the tea 'I don't get what you really want'] Jimmy: ['from what?'] Janis: ['from-' gestures at herself then around them '-any of this, all of it, I knew, and then it changed, then I thought I knew again but then you do something or say something and I'm back at the start'] Jimmy: ['what did I do or say?'] Janis: [a look like, loads of stuff 'I've got to remind you?' and tapping his head and then the bottle like pisshead] Jimmy: ['I just mean-' stopping himself cos do you even know what you mean rn] Janis: [a sigh like fuck it, why not, 'cos he might not remember and tbh over the weirdness and tension so may as well 'you say you want me but then you trail after her for ages' shrugs 'we could've had fun instead'] Jimmy: ['it weren't like that' trying so hard not to owt all his secrets rn casually 'she could've been any of 'em' shakes his head at himself like he's remembering who they actually are 'except Mia, fuck her'] Janis: [lil 😏 but not committing to it 'cos still too awks and gah on this 'I know, do I have to be fair and logical about it though? Not good like you, fuck her'] Jimmy: ['I weren't thinking proper about it, you know what I'm like, full Shakespearean tragedy or nowt' shrugs like it's all such bants and it's so fine but he's obvs worried] Janis: ['You're just a nice person' shrugs like obviously, we're not here to debate that 'but-' making an actual ugh noise out loud 'cos can't believe you thinking like this, never mind saying it '-you say it's different with me, yeah? But you'd do that for anyone, and you just lump me in with them, like, how is it different...' looking away 'cos so mad at yourself and shamed] Jimmy: ['I've never lumped you in with them, that were you doing it to me' stops and looks at her 'you are different, from every other paddy dickhead I've met and a fair few northern ones an' all, I'm not just looking for you 'cause you're lost, I wanna be around you loads and I don't wanna be around anyone, even do my own head in, don't I?'] Janis: [not kissing him even though you (clearly) really, really want to, because you've been doing that when you're stopping yourself from saying what you want to but you're finally getting somewhere here and it doesn't feel shit, trying to actually say something in response though, is difficult 'cos OVERWHELMED 'I like you too'] Jimmy: [100% is 😳 and he's so white we all see it okay] Janis: [when he's so cute you gotta at least hug him 'so can we-' pausing 'cos about to say 'go back to how we were' but that's not exactly what you want so you're like umm '- you know, go back to our tent now?'] Jimmy: [hugging her back so hard like don't hurt yourself boy you're still not healed thank you 'we can do owt you want' sounds so casual but he's never meant anything more] Janis: ['I just wanna be with you, as long as it's alone, I don't care where'] Jimmy: [we handholding back to that tent because I don't think we can guarantee alone anywhere else] Janis: [we buzzing but we got some stuff we gotta say still so 'I'm sorry, you know, I was taking the piss a bit'] Jimmy: ['me an' all' because he is also sorry and was also taking the piss 'it does my head in like nowt else, fighting with you'] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos hard same 'it's just how I am with everyone else, it's easier to me than-' when you don't know what this is so we're just trailing off here '- but easier doesn't mean not shit'] Jimmy: ['I get it, all that nice lad bollocks, I get paid for it or get forced into it 'cause I don't want them turning into massive dickheads, like he is, and how I am, off the clock' when you just ranting about your fam casually now 'but I'm still doing the wrong thing for trying to get it right for myself for a bit' shrugs like so what can I do] Janis: [just letting him and listening because you can just about catch up to what he's saying here 'well, we don't have to spend no more time with this lot now and you don't have to fake nice to me, is that a start for some time just for you?'] Jimmy: [holds out the hand she's not holding like pinky promise me gal 'I ain't been faking nowt with you for ages' because tea that we can drunkenly spill] Janis: [does 'this shit is over' gestures towards their tents 'cos we can all see the squad turning to shit without you two needing to be involved 'good, 'cos I'd call you a liar if you said otherwise, I'd know if you were faking that, tah'] Jimmy: [the new dawn new day is gonna be messy for that lot we know 'will piss on their tent for you before we proper draw that line, if you like' because remember when she said he should] Janis: [lols 'so romantic'] Jimmy: [😍 which would seem so fake after she's said that but it's for the lol and how fucking cute she is] Janis: ['not gonna tell you where or where you can't piss, not that kinda fake girlfriend' 😏 'anyway I wrecked loads of their shit earlier so' shrugs like no room to talk] Jimmy: ['I were about to ask what kind you were, but that answers that' 😏 gives her the 🚬 from behind his ear like you a bad bitch I see] Janis: ['you've asked me that one before, only on special occasions, alright' loling again 'where are your sunglasses, like?'] Jimmy: [touches the top of his head like a nerd like nope they not there, looks down to see if they're on his top and pats his pockets, doing a more and more pouty face the longer the search goes on and he doesn't 'find' them] Janis: ['how do I even know it's the real you, honestly' then gasps dramatically like OMG 'Jamie?!' and being so 😍] Jimmy: [lols 'top news that some good'll come out of how our kid is probably scratching knobhead into 'em with her compass instead of doing her maths'] Janis: ['it's a look, sure you can style it out'] Jimmy: ['duh' in such a flat white voice] Janis: [shudders like #triggered 'don't, they're finally asleep and not annoying me'] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna shout slags but only whispers it cos doesn't want them to wake up either] Janis: ['far as dirty talk goes...' but is 😍 can't lie] Jimmy: [gets his empty bottle from earlier and spins it then kisses her really hardcore like it's a pisstake of how the flatwhites hook up but also a shameless excuse] Janis: [have at it kids, you've been waiting for ages by your standards] Jimmy: [I wanna volunteer that this is the first time he calls her baby not as a pisstake because drunk enough that he accidentally could do] Janis: [yas, here for that] Jimmy: [we crossing lines today] Janis: [and it feels so good] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [step back homewrecker] Jimmy: [I'm so mad at her like yeah he's hot af but who do you think you are, this is not a James and Ava situation thank you] Janis: [lucky you ain't getting brawled tbh] Jimmy: [would love that] Janis: [we tryna be mature and show our feels in a better way though, tragically] Jimmy: [she isn't worth it anyways lbr like he's not even interested] Janis: [and they'll be done with community service soon they wouldn't have got that long so bye] Jimmy: [let the door hit you on your way out] Jimmy: [imagine their cute little disorientated sleepy faces though and how snuggled they'd be] Janis: [getting woken up by shouting is so confusing like 'scuse me hello???] Jimmy: [and once again lowkey triggering for my soft son] Janis: [we just staying snuggled 'til we work out what's going on and even then we ain't getting involved honey, just making a face like, called that] Jimmy: ['I've changed my mind, don't bother fucking him' we joking but we're also not because the voice is soft] Janis: [pushing his body with yours from a sleeping position, so also gently 'no scaly #kinkunlocked, idiot'] Jimmy: [pulling her closer again nbd] Janis: ['poor boy though, don't think it's even a record of shortest relationship for her' snuggling in harder without thinking about it 'cos they being so loud about their 💔 rn] Jimmy: [stroking her hair because it's comforting for them both 'do you wanna go get breakfast?' tea makes everything better that's facts] Janis: [#facts, nods 'they'll need to keep their energy up and all' 'cos remembering to be fake nice more whilst you're still here also the idea of throwing a sandwich at them like there you are is amusing her greatly] Jimmy: [we'll never know what amazing shade he was gonna reply with because a massive yawn instead cos you know they ain't had hardly any sleep] Janis: [Awh'ing at him, genuinely, and closing his eyes with her fingers like go back to sleep 'I'll find some earplugs for you, sleepy baby'] Jimmy: [holding onto her like DON'T GO without thinking about it] Janis: [is not going, just looking at him 'you shouldn't be allowed to look like that in the morning'] Jimmy: ['gotta keep up with you, girl' morning 😍] Janis: ['you don't have to try' the multiple meanings, love that] Jimmy: [does an IRL 🤏 like I do a bit] Janis: ['but I'm SUCH an athlete' 😏] Jimmy: ['help me up then' cos determined to get tea but would need help up cos those tricky ribs sleeping on the ground isn't really the one] Janis: [not to mention all the extra activities y'all have been getting up to on the ground, but helps him up, lol at them just scooting past like don't mind us you two] Jimmy: [god imagine, at least you can pretend you're wincing at that scene and the drama boy] Janis: [obvs notices 'you need another massage' looks about as they walking 'they probably have a tent here, like' 'cos the random hippie crap they do at festivals now be wild] Jimmy: [yeah even at small local ones like you know this is, the gimmicks be cray 'depends'] Janis: ['go on'] Jimmy: [draws two lines on her back like are you keeping a tally of how many I'll owe you or not] Janis: [shakes her head like nah 'I don't need nothing, besides, basically helping me with my homework so'] Jimmy: [draws the 🤓 in the same place but under whatever top she's wearing rn so it's against skin because harder to work out what he's drawing that's his excuse anyway lol] Janis: [has no idea what that was, the confusion and lol like boy what but also being like 'do it again' 'cos you want him to heheheh] Jimmy: [obvs does do it again slower like let's make this a moment] Janis: [so faux offended when she works it out 'shut up, I just like touching you'] Jimmy: ['gutted how I'd rate you don't actually count for nowt' cos she'd get that A+ honey] Janis: ['well you can tell Mr Joyce how good I am if you want but he'll just swear up and down he's NEVER made us massage each other for our mark, like'] Jimmy: ['til Mr Lucas comes through with the hours of footage, dickhead can't deny it then'] Janis: [loling 'dread to think what they have you do for art, babe'] Jimmy: ['yeah it's a proper laugh a minute, like' making a face because lord the bollocks he would have to do all jokes aside] Janis: ['he is an excellent life model though, be fair' the fakest wistful 😍 for Mr Lucas] Jimmy: ['that'll be why my dad put that one on the fridge' what a lovely mental image 'nowt to do with my talents'] Janis: [loling 'I'll try not to be offended he don't wanna look at me every day instead'] Jimmy: ['he does but can't be letting our kid get inspired by you an' all' mimes drawing a moustache and some devil horns on her even though we know Cass would probably do worse 'you're my muse' casually saying that like you're mine, we know] Janis: ['fair' 'cos we get it, dealt with a lot of siblings and a lot of siblings gf/bfs but not and never dealing with that so we coming at it with bants 'how much do muses get paid then, 50, 60?'] Jimmy: [IRL 🤔 winnie like he's so seriously considering for ages but then shrugs 'I gotta stay poor and you gotta stay rich' when you just saying you gonna give her all your money bye] Janis: ['gotta stay on brand, I get it' looking at the food trucks and tents like 🤔 Winnie herself 'they'll all bankrupt ya but may as well enjoy it'] Jimmy: [just 😍 so hard what is she even saying he don't know] Janis: [squishing his face like focus boy but you ain't mad, just getting in people's way, again, at least most people won't be up until the music starts again] Jimmy: [we know you there somewhere though with your coffee and your camera, community service gal] Janis: [ugh, have a tea you scumbag] Jimmy: [that's how you know they ain't #fated] Janis: [mhmm, she'd probably put the milk in first] Jimmy: [they only gonna talk about 📷 when they do see her cos only thing they have in common and all he's bothered about hearing from her] Janis: [like take a hint, it's not what you think it is, are you a flat white] Jimmy: [like I'M SORRY even when he's talking to you he's gonna be touching the bae so much unless she literally leaves, get a grip] Janis: [it's shameless, have you even talked to Janis or tried to] Jimmy: [blatantly scared of her aren't you babe] Janis: [like she hate you now but you know, not without reason, she'd definitely wanna leave but would probably stand her ground 'cos why should you just get to talk to him, be polite, madam, you can't] Jimmy: [1. even Grace was more subtle when she was leaving half the shit she owns at the CG 2.he don't wanna talk to you hun he don't wanna talk to anyone but her so excuse you 3. he blatantly would make NO indication that he wants Janis to leave hence holding her hand still/touching her all the time without even being aware of it really and like showing her the pics too/trying to include her in the convo like I should take a pic of you like this etc] Janis: [seriously, like this is so awkward and it's all your fault, probably in community service 'cos some girl scrapped with you 'cos you tryna steal her man] Jimmy: [go and hoe on pete he'd be about it, except don't cos he's too good for you too] Janis: [my boo says stay away, we aren't having you in the squad honey] Jimmy: [I like to think she finally makes her excuses/has some friends to get back to but like I said we all been knew she gonna try and chat to him in his DMs and get him to hang with them all later like a snek] Janis: [mhmm, we see you, hoe, also thanks for making this so awks now] Jimmy: [Jimothy just like 'bit weird she were here' cos boys are oblivious] Janis: ['is it?'] Jimmy: [a look like umm yeah? because he genuinely thinks it's a coincidence, oh boy] Janis: [shrugs 'small world, smaller town'] Jimmy: [shrugs back because he's already forgotten her and that's the tea, casually heading back to see what state the flat white drama has reached] Janis: [meanwhile we'll just be angsting don't mind us] Jimmy: [when you know she's quiet and it's different but you think she just doesn't wanna see the flat whites and is tired like you are so you just squeeze her hand like it's okay] Janis: [just the fakest smile, one that looks like a grimace, they're probably at the comforting stage so leave them to be extra about it, breathing out like 'thank fuck' Jimmy: [I like to think Grace shoots Janis a tiny look that nobody else sees like please kill me because so over it 5eva] Janis: [just 😏 and silently like good luck with that] Jimmy: [please can we say that when jimothy and community service girl cross paths again later Grace sees them and 'accidentally' does something to fuck with her like spill a drink on her/her camera whatever cos she's that clumsy bitch but she's also jj's biggest shipper on the low and it's never gonna get back to Janis but #defense squad regardless] Janis: [100% here for that] Jimmy: [she's a hoe and she 👀 you gal] Janis: [when you're that unsubtle] Jimmy: [for now though enjoy Asia crying too loud guys] Janis: [just having your breakfast in your tent like isn't this fun lmao] Jimmy: [getting his headphones and giving her one cos he's put on songs he knows she like because a babe] Janis: [literally anything over the sound of that lot] Jimmy: [you know they wireless cos it's the future so he doesn't have to sit as close as he is] Janis: [just looking at him silently saying as much but turning it into #bants like you think he's tryna steal your food like get off] Jimmy: [does steal some cos that bitch and it's all #bants and we're all fine] Janis: ['fat bitch' in a flat white impression] Jimmy: [dramatic OTT 😱] Jimmy: stop trying to make me 😭 an' all Jimmy: be rude to take the 🏆 Janis: they're pros at 😭 if nothing else Janis: don't be so cocky Jimmy: and I'm not? Jimmy: had the 🎻🎻 out when I came out my mum, ain't stopped since, tah Janis: that's 'cos you're the first child Jimmy: she weren't chuffed about none of us Jimmy: not special, me Janis: still, you get away with more by default Janis: even if it's just 'cos they're green Jimmy: yeah get away with loads Jimmy: be why I'm in community service Janis: amateur Janis: if you turned on the waterworks, might not have happened Jimmy: that's on Bill's 👻 only floating about when I don't need him Jimmy: your fault an' all though, meant to be #inspiring Janis: yeah well, you're welcome Jimmy: when you're not tucking into any grub, might be Janis: now you're calling me fat? Janis: get your own insults Jimmy: calling you territorial if owt 😾 Janis: you got your own, dickhead Jimmy: maybe I like yours better Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: shut up 🙄😏 Jimmy: [does the whole what charade like he can't hear her even though they are typing] Janis: [🖕] Janis: not getting 'round me that easy Jimmy: it's alright, not scared of hard work, as well you know Janis: yeah yeah Janis: ⌚💕 Jimmy: [throws something at her but like a pillow because he's like be nice to me not fight me] Janis: [😒 'oi!'] Jimmy: ['Oi you' but softer] Janis: [taking said pillow and laying down like I'm exhausted, 'scuse me, which is true but you just can't] Jimmy: [you 100% know he's gonna lay down and spoon her like okay then] Janis: [allowing it 'cos you want it and you're trying not to let a hoe ruin shit for you 'cos ultimately you ruin things for yourself if that ain't a mood and you're just fighting all your instincts to not rn] Jimmy: [just having that moment even though we know it's not comfy for you on the ground because you wanna snuggle her more than you care about yourself] Janis: [and we know neither of you is sleeping but this beats interacting with the flatwhites at least] Jimmy: [you can blatantly hear his heartbeat in between songs gal you know he's not] Janis: [turning to look at him and frowning 'cos he looks as uncomfortable as he is 'you need your massage now' and putting him on his back] Jimmy: [shamelessly so into it when she's doing power moves like that] Janis: [when this keeps your hands and mind busy so you can just get into it and forget about that hoe for a hot sec and try to make him feel better] Jimmy: ['it weren't this bad before' when you've accidentally outted that this isn't the first time this has happened so you're like hope she's focused enough to not question me] Janis: [when he would've tensed when he realized what he'd said so you definitely took notice, as if you weren't anyway, but it does give you indication to not freak out, again, as if you would 'you probably had fractures and injuries, but smaller, repeat injuries in the same place lead to smaller cracks making bigger breaks and giving you longer healing time overall' shrugging like it's that casual 'plus, you're well old now, yeah? muscle and bone don't repair like it used to, granddad'] Jimmy: ['One foot in the grave, me, just waiting for you to get in' because we can always hide behind #bants] Janis: ['no pressure, like' shaking her head like 😏 'worse than a proposal'] Jimmy: ['might be worse than the proposal they pissed on, give you that, Jules' saying that like you're gonna do a better one] Janis: ['be serious, if you distract me I might break another bone and fuck taking the blame for someone else's handiwork and all'] Jimmy: 'Alright, well that there's a seriously good angle for you' mhmm on top of you we know what you're saying and mimes a 📷 like he's taking a pic of her cos that's his handiwork] Janis: [when you're into it and wanna be more into it but 📷 triggers you so you gotta brush him off like oh please 'I'm a professional'] Jimmy: [when you're gonna agree/give her another compliment but you don't have to say anything because a NOISE happens instead because that's how good she is at this] Janis: ['even when you make that very hard' 'cos fuuuck boy 😍] Jimmy: [giving her a LOOK because she's making it very hard for him to even function rn on every level] Janis: ['you deserve it' whispering this when you're inches from his face 'cos massaging his neck and shoulders] Jimmy: ['because?' also whispering and leaning in even more] Janis: ['because...' getting so close that when you talk, your lips touch his and he can feel how hard you're breathing and the heat 'you know exactly what you do to me'] Jimmy: ['because I need you' cos he's not said that yet and we know it's the truest thing and we're all dying because he's as close rn still cos there's never any chill] Janis: [such a noise 'cos not what you were expecting him to say but exactly what you wanted to hear and didn't even know how much that you cannot deal 'if you're lying, I will kill you' Jimmy: ['you'll have to kill me 'cause I'm not' when he's literally saying break my heart bitch idc like he's Peter from all the boys excuse you sir] Janis: ['I won't hurt you' like all the meaning and intention behind that because she hurts everyone else in her life very much on purpose so even to promise to try, bye] Jimmy: [gotta kiss her because we can't even like soz I know we're trying to communicate better but] Janis: [it is needed] Jimmy: [let them have it, they've done loads of meaningful chatting by their standards] Janis: [and the gals should've pissed off to get ready by now] Jimmy: [100% hope they can hear you though because payback is a bitch and so are all y'all] Janis: [same like they better but you two don't need to think about that] Jimmy: [it's okay we know it's not intentional like the fake dating days you're just loud af] Janis: [same like they better but you two don't need to think about that Janis: [Asia gonna have a meltdown lol] Jimmy: [And Mia cos she only just got rid of the band boys and now she has to be reminded yet again that lads exist other than her father] Janis: [so gutted harry isn't here so you can use him, also omg she's like bffs w matty from skins so she should end up going out with him] Jimmy: [she's the only one gutted he's not here] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [also Grace is the only one who is allowed to be like NOPE over hearing anything cos that's her sister the rest of y'all can calm down] Janis: [like you ain't hoeing when it suits lol] Jimmy: [jj are in LOVE bye] Janis: [we already got one hussy tryna ruin it, y'all can stay in your own tent tah] Jimmy: [oh what a fun tent that would be] Janis: [at least this will probably make your giggle 'cos you're 12, welcome for the mood boost] Jimmy: [honestly grow the fuck up gals] Janis: [immediately like shh Asia, so they can get back to Mia's fave topic, JJ] Jimmy: [Grace just wants to LEAVE RN IMMEDIATELY but she can't cos where would go you even go gal #coffeehunting oh Sammi] Janis: [just put some headphones in, it'll piss off Mia but what doesn't, just means they can bitch literally behind your back knowing you can defs still hear] Jimmy: [100% the mood well enjoy looking a state all of y'all cos Grace is good at makeup for all her many other flaws and she's not gonna do none of yours now soz not soz] Janis: [you know the day #2 looks are not gonna be as popping, we've all been taken down a notch/to reality here] Jimmy: [not that any of you were serving on day 1] Janis: [well no but less glitter and feathers today I feel] Jimmy: [we should say the 🌧 is worse too just to really rub salt in] Janis: [it probably would be, and muddy festival is the vibe for everyone else just not y'all] Jimmy: [like you live in Ireland not Ibiza deal with it] Janis: [you should not be surprised at this point like hellur] Jimmy: [what do we wanna do next?] Janis: [well his phone needs to be blowing up on the sly once they're remotely paying attention to anything else again] Jimmy: [yeah they're probably trying to get a snuggly little nap in as well how rude] Janis: [when his phone always blows up low-key and obvs you've always wanted to know but not your place but I feel like he'd act different somehow from when it's just basic DMs or fam so she's like oh but obvs still saying nothing] Jimmy: [I had the most heartbreaking mental image of him smiling or loling at his phone and I'm like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU HUSSY] Janis: [just like brb need something from their tent like you ever do 'cos gotta go] Jimmy: [when that doesn't strike you as weird because you too busy reading whatever bs this gal is all up in your inbox with boy no] Janis: [asking grace to do your makeup so you've got an excuse to be an age] Jimmy: [when she'd be so ???!! because when does that ever happen but she's not gonna say anything like what's wrong in front of the others] Janis: [we sitting there in silence like mia don't start] Jimmy: [she'd be so annoyed so a big part of Grace would be thinking that's why Janis asked because she did promise she'd annoy Mia whoever she can but she's not stupid so she knows its not just that hence her revenge against community service girl later because even if that's not it, it's not helping and that's her sister you hoe] Janis: [just like well you must be having a great chat, Jimothy, don't even care where I am or what I'm doing, great] Jimmy: [that said I am gonna have him hit her up like ? when it's been ages so I'll do that rn] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: party never stops Jimmy: you're still next door then? Janis: yep Janis: 💄💅💇 takes time Jimmy: if you get ✨ in my sleeping bag I'm dumping you Jimmy: you would look 🥇 wearing 🌹 in your hair though Jimmy: proper renaissance verona #aesthetic I reckon Jimmy: Bill will be well chuffed Janis: don't think that's the era we're bringing back here Janis: but yeah, give her your notes Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: UGH won't bother asking her to do me next Janis: you're not invited Janis: 💔 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: they are Jimmy: but they can't stop me nipping round to borrow a cup of sugar or whatever bollocks good neighbours are supposed to let you have Janis: oh yeah Janis: dead likely to have sugar Janis: ask about carbs whilst you're getting kicked out Jimmy: hair straighteners then Jimmy: the what don't matter Janis: you won't be able to breathe for hairspray Janis: go enjoy the delightful weather Jimmy: how long are you gonna be? Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Jimmy: how decent the setting spray is? Janis: no, how much you keep chatting Janis: and why do you know what setting spray is Jimmy: I'll call you then, you can put me on speaker Jimmy: and 'cause I've had a girlfriend before Janis: never hear you over them and their 'music' Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I get it, you're being tortured Jimmy: but I can save you Janis: I won't be that long Janis: no need for heroics or dramatics, boy Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: just every need for you to have Bill turning in his ⚰ with that blasphemy, yeah? Janis: he's your imaginary friend more than he is mine 👻💕 Jimmy: so you don't want custody when we break up? 👻💔 Janis: you're alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [some time] Janis: you good to go? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: 1. where 2. who with 3. what have they done to you Janis: 1. mainstage 2. who do you think and who did you have in mind 3. dramatic, sure she's put a selfie up by now Jimmy: 1. if I have to 2. you and not them 3. stop saying that like it's a bad thing, dickhead Janis: 1. sure you can convince the alternative act in the 2nd tent is gonna be more fun 2. I'll be there and all 3. soz, it's so wonderful I 💗 it Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: [squad rolling out, at least you wouldn't have let Grace go cray with your look so you aren't looking a state, not the mood here ty] Jimmy: [she gonna look good Grace knows what she's doing and Jimothy gonna notice so hard bye] Janis: [ah the awks of treating this like a mission like you need to be up front or something like you suddenly care] Jimmy: [the joys of how much he doesn't know what's going on so he's just being their normal] Janis: [oh boy, meanwhile we getting on it hard, like thanks for the drinks, strangers, we do not care] Jimmy: [like that's registering with him but as per he just thinks she's over the flat whites cos hard same for him always] Janis: [it's a good cover honestly] Jimmy: [and we know he's getting on it too because still got that fam drama and guilt that only gets worse the longer he's away] Janis: [we're just partying, this is casual] Jimmy: [I just imagine Grace like 👀 at them both lowkey trying to work out why the vibe's off cos she don't know yet] Janis: [try and be subtle gal, she will not be happy lol] Jimmy: [contrary to popular belief she can do subtle lol] Janis: [the front was a mistake 'cos obvs community service will be there for the photos] Jimmy: [we see you giving him the eye gal even if he hasn't noticed] Janis: [you're 'working' focus] Jimmy: [literally though and more importantly if you're gonna look then see his blatant 😍 for his bae cos she looks good as hell thank you] Janis: [heading out for a piss, like we all know you aren't finding your way back through a crowd for time/if ever] Jimmy: ? Janis: 🚽 Janis: doing it in a bottle and lobbing it isn't an option for the fairer sex Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy, yeah Jimmy: would've come with you, that is Janis: told you the trick now, you don't need to Janis: keep 🕺🙌🎉 Jimmy: my turn to get tortured now? Janis: don't seem like it Janis: music ain't up to much but you know Janis: all things considered Jimmy: I'd have rather had the contouring done Jimmy: said as much Janis: 🙄 Janis: you don't need contouring, I need a piss Jimmy: what's your sister's problem? Jimmy: keeps 👀 it's weird Janis: fancies you still, obviously Jimmy: so funny you Janis: who's joking Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: she's been all over that dickhead with the 🍕 and 🎸 til a bit ago Janis: so? Janis: 💔 you ain't her one and only Jimmy: obvs yeah Janis: she ain't fussy Jimmy: makes one of us that does Janis: ha Janis: alright Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm well fussy, me Janis: you picked her so not fussy enough it's gonna get in the way Jimmy: what? Janis: what do you mean what Janis: only so many ways to say that Jimmy: What are you saying it for? Jimmy: that were a game and it were ages ago Janis: alright, ignore it then Janis: joke fit Jimmy: Nah, how about you answer me Janis: I did Janis: joke Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🤣👮 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: that don't make it funnier Janis: gutted Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: such a 🥇 taste in humour, you Jimmy: I'm northern, we're #blessed there's owt at all Janis: meant to give you a sense of humour along with the chip on your shoulder Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: go on and @ my dad with what a disappointment I am there Jimmy: been running a tally for ages Janis: write it down yourself and get a routine going Jimmy: to have no dickhead 🤣? you're alright Jimmy: got that already without putting 🖋 to paper Janis: got your fans Janis: taste not necessary Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: less typing more dancing, dickhead Jimmy: I don't have any dickhead to dance with Janis: yeah you do Jimmy: nah Janis: there's a crowd Janis: last I checked Janis: 'less everyone's pissed off Jimmy: 🤞🖤 Janis: yeah Janis: that's the spirit Janis: dance like no one's watching, probably got that on a shirt Jimmy: the tall one 100% has Janis: irony lost on them as well as sarcasm Jimmy: real tragedy that Janis: not as tragic as her dancing Jimmy: nowt could be Janis: not seen my sister;s Janis: don't tell her, she'll be devvo Jimmy: 👀 it now Jimmy: hang on, I'll shout her Janis: go ahead Jimmy: better trained than my 🐕 her Jimmy: comes right when you say her name Janis: fuck off Jimmy: what? Janis: not funny Jimmy: is a bit Jimmy: you'd know if you were here Janis: glad I'm missing out Jimmy: I get it, you must've seen her 😭 loads Janis: duh Jimmy: you've been ages Janis: 🚽👮 now too are we Jimmy: would obvs go towards ✔ my #ultimate kink Janis: recommend the portaloos then Janis: sights and smells 10/10 on that score Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: gotta queue obvs Janis: not the only pervert around Jimmy: just the 🥇 Janis: prove it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what do you want me to do? Janis: you've got the sick 🧠 Janis: why have I got to think of the task Jimmy: you set the challenge Jimmy: come on, don't be 🙀 Janis: I'm not Jimmy: tell me then Jimmy: ⏲💪🏆 Janis: I dunno Janis: not gonna make you do anything you don't wanna do, am I Jimmy: how do you know I don't wanna? Jimmy: do owt to prove myself, me Jimmy: I ain't scared Janis: well if you do wanna then you can just do it Janis: I cba to facilitate that Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: call me what you want Jimmy: Hey, what's wrong? Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Janis: good for you Janis: I'm fine, bored of this shit Jimmy: we can leave them to it for a bit, when you come back Janis: I'm already back at the tent Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: you don't need to Jimmy: Do you not want me to or what? Janis: I'm just going sleep so you may as well stay there Jimmy: that weren't what I asked Janis: stop asking questions Janis: I'm fucked Jimmy: fucked how? Jimmy: that can be the last one Janis: how you think Janis: 🍻🍹🥃 Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you're not Janis: yeah I am Janis: how'd you know Jimmy: we're 🗨 Jimmy: and I've 👀 you pissed before Janis: Autocorrect pretty sound Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll be there in a sec Janis: fine Janis: do what you like Jimmy: Why are you fuming at me? Jimmy: I just wanna check you're alright Janis: yeah, make it sound like an obligation Janis: I said I was going kip, not lying in a pool of my own sick Jimmy: calm down Janis: just stop, alright Jimmy: What, giving a shit about you? Jimmy: No Janis: being so Janis: you know Jimmy: bollocks do I Janis: just stop Jimmy: you Jimmy: stop saying that Jimmy: I haven't done nowt Janis: stop talking Janis: I wanna go to sleep Jimmy: properly talk to me Jimmy: how about that? Janis: No Janis: I've got nothing to say right now Jimmy: why? Jimmy: it don't make sense Janis: if it don't to you that ain't my problem, alright Jimmy: what the fuck does that mean? Janis: that if you're that oblivious then there's nothing I can do about it Jimmy: to what? Janis: now you're just trying to piss me off Jimmy: now you're just being a twat Janis: then leave me alone Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: if you're so bothered Jimmy: I don't get this Jimmy: you Janis: yeah Jimmy: What kind of answer is that? Jimmy: and you say I'm a headfuck Janis: you expect me to sit and explain myself Jimmy: why not? Janis: 'cos what kind of fucking question is that Jimmy: a valid one Jimmy: what's changed, when the fuck did it? Jimmy: there's some others Janis: I don't want to do this right now Jimmy: me an' all but you come out of their tent and you're a different lass Janis: called a makeover Jimmy: it ain't about what's been put on your face Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: don't fucking tell me to sort my head out Janis: who the fuck are you to Jimmy: Or what? Jimmy: great question though, babe, who the fuck am I? Jimmy: some mug again, do you reckon? Janis: Yeah, or what me too, that'll help Jimmy: Go on, what would? Jimmy: I don't need this bollocks from you Janis: How many times have I told you to leave it and go away Janis: if you don't need it, there's your solution Jimmy: how many times have you said you give a shit? Jimmy: words or no words Jimmy: so we're here for a second go, what's changed? Janis: well you say a lot of shit too Jimmy: is that it? Jimmy: what did I say? Janis: No Janis: you say shit that you then prove you don't actually mean Jimmy: like? Janis: you should know Janis: not make me sit here and fucking spell it out like a twat Jimmy: well I don't Janis: then forget about it Janis: you don't have to say anymore bullshit and I won't believe it Jimmy: if that's what you reckon this is, there's nowt I can say Jimmy: come talk to me when you know what the fuck you want me to try and prove Janis: what I reckon is you say all the shit you say to me but literally moments after we've been together you're more concerned messaging someone else and saying shit to them to notice anything about me Jimmy: ? Jimmy: this is about Becca then Janis: Becca, is it Janis: how would I fucking know Jimmy: you spoke to her this morning, maybe that'd be how Janis: no I fucking didn't Janis: and she's never talked to me either Jimmy: I were there Jimmy: yeah you did and yeah she did Janis: Piss off Jimmy: you Jimmy: all of this is about her? Janis: if you're this stupid, happily Jimmy: it's me being stupid? not a chance, mate Janis: It's incredible you ever get laid if this is how bad you are at taking a hint Jimmy: it's even bloody more so that you still can't get your head round this after we've been over it when you had your two previous strops about her Janis: fuck off Jimmy: yeah I will do Jimmy: 'cause what more can I say or do Janis: Try not being a patronizing cunt in the future Jimmy: what future's that? The one where me and Becca run off into the sunset or? Janis: yeah, keep trying Jimmy: yeah, that's what this is, you putting me on trial for nowt Jimmy: it's such bollocks Janis: it's not Janis: you think and respond how you like Jimmy: fuck responding to any of this Jimmy: Asia's ex boyfriend had a better argument than you're bothered with Janis: yeah well if you want to be as much of a cunt as Asia, do it on your own time Jimmy: nearly there according to you, just swap patronising for owt she can spell Jimmy: thick'll work, you've said that one enough Janis: if it fits, have at it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hypocrite is a great one and all Janis: two-faced, if you wanna stick with their vernacular Jimmy: 'course I do Jimmy: peas in a pod, us Jimmy: another load of bollocks you've stuck with Janis: show me where you ain't and I'd take it back Jimmy: if you need showing, you're more of a headcase than I gave you earlier credit for Jimmy: and I'll give you another 🏆 for it Janis: you want headcase, you had a fight with Harry, I've not fucking touched her Jimmy: neither have I Jimmy: you gonna pretend you've not touched him? Janis: so as long as there's no touching, it don't count Janis: like it's not a strop when you do it Janis: alright, yeah, go along with those rules, sounds fair Jimmy: it's not a strop when it's your ex Jimmy: she's nowt to me Jimmy: neither's your sister Jimmy: neither's Asia Jimmy: Do you want me to go on or what? Janis: he isn't my ex, actually Janis: and she doesn't intend to stay nothing, just because you've not realized doesn't mean I'll sit here and pretend I ain't so you reckon I'm chill Jimmy: call him what you want Jimmy: and her Janis: whatever Janis: you're a fucking hypocrite Jimmy: you're fucking Janis: you've said enough Janis: I'll read it back and make a list Jimmy: you can crack on with that when you've slept it off Jimmy: won't be about distracting you Janis: yeah I don't plan to stick around either Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [well that was a fun time but I don't think there's anything else I can say sadly] Janis: [probably not] Jimmy: [we should 1000% say he gets a lift back with community service girl though cos you know that bitch would offer #keen thank god her friends are also there cos I don't trust you gal] Janis: [yeah she's already hitched a ride in this convo like weren't hanging about, the flat whites will be thrilled] Jimmy: [Grace will be losing her mind] Janis: [soz 'cos we know she's not going home] Jimmy: [literally trying to phone her constantly even though you know she won't answer babe and what are you gonna say if she did anyways] Janis: [fun times] Jimmy: [Cali are gonna be thrilled af] Janis: [like she already weren't coming to the house low-key never mind not coming back to town] Jimmy: [and we said this is near the end of the hols so that makes it worse like school be looming] Janis: [basically] Jimmy: [at least the flatwhites don't know that jj didn't leave together because he's not gonna be hanging around waiting for them to wake up and fill them in on his plans, like Grace will know cos she'll see him with that hoe like we said but she's not telling the squad] Janis: [like you'll know if you get to school and she ain't about but 🤞 lads] Jimmy: [yeah depending how long we drag the angst out but for right now you're still #goals and Mia is fuming about it] Janis: [realistically CS isn't waiting any time to make a move so it wouldn't take long to out] Jimmy: [exactly dr phil and we know they highkey too so] Janis: [bit awks when you gotta be like oh u right but that's the path you chose jimothy] Jimmy: [when you're so focused on the bae that you don't see any other girls trying to get their claws in, oh sir] Janis: [what fun, look forward to that]
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Wednesday Roundup 25.9.2017
Okay, so I had another huge comic week, and looking forward this might be the last time that really happens for a while since at least three of these issues are here due to previous delays. and I’m trying pretty desperately to cut down on comics I’m subscribed to now. Which just emphasizes the fact that this week made it SO much more difficult to declare that because there was so much good.
... There was also some hilarious outrage on my part, too, so if you’re here for that you will not be disappointed.
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Image’s Black Magick, DC’s Detective Comics, DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman, Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists, Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, DC’s Nightwing, Image’s Saga, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starfore: Cries of the Fire Prince
Image’s Black Magick (2015-present) #8 Greg Rucka, Nicola Scott
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Have I mentioned lately how Nicola Scott may be the most gifted artist in the industry in a while? Not since last month? Well we are definitely well past due time!
Story: Things are ramping up as the Hammer’s members increase their numbers and keep close watch on Rowan while Rowan settles things with her partner only to be manipulated once again by the terrifying forces of these unknown entities with that creepy AF girl with the stitched up mouth. That is a lot of stuff being unpacked in one issue and yet the moving parts never feel like they’re incongruent or taking away from each other. Seeing Rowan’s familiar watching the Hammer members, seeing Rowan struggle to be more open with her partner, and then seeing her old demons (literally) beginning to come to her work and haunt her there (literally and figuratively) all feels like it moves perfectly together.
I just really wish we didn’t have to do a “gay scare” which is a bit disappointing from Rucka, honestly. Haha get it Rowan was worried that her partner was onto her for being a witch and he just was mad because he thought she wasn’t coming out to him and it’s just all a good laugh. Or at least I would be laughing if either Alex or Rowan were confirmed queer women and so it isn’t just that he’s well meaning but oblivious while... literally taking away the possibility of representation. 
Maybe this will be corrected later in that very way! Who knows, I’ll be relieved if it is, but until then it feels like an unnecessary marring of what is otherwise a great story I’ve been enjoying.
Art:  I mean... just look at it! Nicola Scott is... arguably the best artist in comics right now. Her work is phenomenal and nothing presents that fact more than just how expertly she manages the medium in almost any way and how it adapts based on the type of story she’s writing. It’s very special for an artist’s style to work as well in a bombastic, colorful superhero comic then turn around and hit the perfect contrast of noir and witchcraft narratives. And all of her characters are distinct and especially her variety of noses, it’s simply gorgeous.
Nicola Scott very well may be the best artist in the business right now and any comic company that doesn’t snatch her up for major titles is foolish, honestly.  
DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #965 James Tynion IV, Eddy Barrows, Eber Ferreira, Adriano Lucas
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Well, it’s weird to say but if there was any issue for me to read before I took a short break from ‘Tec I am so glad it was this one. Which has all the makings of a backhanded compliment but we’ll see where I take it. Probably will seem like a backhanded compliment but I’m going to try to swing it toward positive.
Story: So I’ve been pretty sure I was going to drop ‘Tec for the upcoming storyline and then jump on again later for the next one, similar to how I did for the Monster Men crossover event, but I was really curious about Tim’s return and more specifically about the context of Tynion bringing Tim back which made me pretty excited for this comic. I love Tim Drake of old and reading this issue reinforced the fact that this current Tim Drake is the Tim of the 90s that I fell in love with -- the dork who loved Batman and Robin so much he put his life at risk to save the legacy of his heroes. And while this issue culminated mostly in a “slideshow” of Tim’s retconned retconned history bringing us back to the Tim origins from “A Lonely Place of Dying”, it actually felt really loving and refreshing to see the character I grew to love so much back in action. 
I don’t care one bit about this Evil Future or Mister Oz or literally anything else going on right now. In fact I find that whole crossover tedious enough I dropped Superman a while back but I really did feel like I needed this reminder that we’re supposed to be reading this Rebirth Tim as the Tim we knew and cared about in the past. And that made this issue on its own worthwhile to me. 
Art: Eddy Barrows is an excellent artist, through and through. The coloring’s fantastic, the art itself dynamic. Even with a familiar storyline and setup that we’ve all read before, he manages to find ways to make it read as unique and new through subversive angles and set ups. I really enjoyed his take on everything from Tim’s past. But even great artists sometimes fail the Batmanequin challenge. Which is, can anyone tell who the Batboys are apart from each other when they’re all the same age. The answer is no. His Tim looks identical to his Bruce to his Jason to his Dick and most of the time to his Damian and we’ve really got to change that at some point or else there will be a singularity of Batboys and we will all be sucked into an artistic blackhole and not in the fun way.
DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman (2017) #4 Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett
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After this issue there’s only one issue left and in all honesty.... it’s about time we had some real emotional direction actually driving this comic because I’ve been asking for the last few issues “where is any of this going”. And since I all but refuse to watch the animated movie sharing a similar name, it’s that much more confusing for me trying to figure out what exactly this is all culminating in. 
Story: Like I said, we’re finally getting some real tension in this issue as we have Harley confronting Ivy, it becoming more and more obvious that Ivy has a genuine problem with rejecting her own humanity for the sake of becoming as much of a plant as possible, and we also get that emotional catharsis of Ivy at least somewhat confessing that Harley is the only person she cares about. And it’s obviously a deep and intimate form of caring. She’s pained by the potential of Harley’s rejection and offended at the assumption that Harley would think of herself as anything less than her partner. But this comic, like all of comic canon, just refuses to give us THE WORDS. I’m so tired of partner being emphasized instead of girlfriend. I’m tired of cared being acceptable substitution for love. And I’m REALLY tired of Harley and Ivy only being portrayed as sexy and into each other in a way that’s meant to be attractive to guys. I’m not a guy. I’m a woman who likes other women. And I would like for this relationship, if it’s to be real on any level, be treated respectfully and given canonicity. Maybe we’ll get that next issue. I’m hoping, but since next issue is the last I’m not exactly expecting much. 
Dick and Bruce are... still fun? I guess. It’s not really their story and I’m not sure why Batman’s even in the title at this point. His addition to this story culminates in a “not really”
Art: I gave Rick Burchett’s first two issues a hard time, especially compared to the guest artist for last issue, but this issue really had him stepping up his game and reminding us all why he’s been working with these characters and especially this style for the past twenty or more years. He really nails it... though it still has that edge of lacking refinement that we might see in something other than a digital first comic, the colors are really enhanced, the character and background art more detailed and controlled, and just overall this was a very pleasant looking and well laid out issue. Great work all around
Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists (2017) #5 (of 6) Kaare Andrews, Afu Chan, Shelly Chen
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We’re beginning to near an ending for this miniseries and I am growing an ominous, horrible feeling that I am desperately hoping is completely off base and unfounded outside of my constant apprehension of trusting comics too much. But we’ll get into that.
Story: As we left off last time, it was the culmination of all the storylines that we had seen building up in Immortal Iron Fists before then, Pei and her friends, the popularity drama that was the school dance, Danny’s feelings of responsibility and pride, the ten scrolls of Mara, and the strangely backward advice of the babysitter that Pei had been receiving throughout. And it all came down to a climactic battle with Danny and Pei finally at long last fighting side by side, both as the Immortal Iron Fist.
But suddenly there can only be.... one? And to save the world and inherit her responsibility as the Immortal Iron Fist, Pei had to choose whether or not she would take the dragon’s heart straight from Danny himself and use his chi to defeat Mara and his legion of demons. Which, of course, Pei refused and chose instead to sacrifice her own chi so that Danny could save the world.
This apparently erased Pei from reality and everyone’s memories in one solid swipe and sent her... to hell?? Where Brenda, who was in the storyline that brought Pei into the comics but has not been a factor through all of this miniseries, is a zombie champion fighter who saves Pei and her classmate that’s been in the coma because Mara was planning to use his body for his resurrection and also the popular girl, Danny’s girlfriend for an issue, an the babysitter are all daughters of Mara who are responsible for all this chaos. 
And I genuinely feel like there’s been a lot of missed opportunities in the previous four issues that would have allowed this to be set up more. And that’s what is leading to the worries I mentioned in the opening. As far as I’ve seen, in Defenders or the solicits for Immortal Iron Fist, Pei has not been allowed to make much of an impact outside of Andrews’ runs. And.... I would really hate that a series that has sold e SO hard on Pei and on a new spin on Danny Rand to be a series that gives Marvel an easy out to erase those very things. 
We have one issue left to go so I suppose we’ll have to wait and see in that regard.
Art: It’s still good art, still all-ages, but I’m starting to grow the opinion thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown and mine’s insightful talks that comis with cute art and lots of slapstick are pretty much utilizing a certain style to undermine dramatic writing or consequences in fear of being genuine. Or, in terms, bathos. And I really hope that’s not the intentions here because the relationship between Danny and Pei are genuinely sweet and good and if that’s the intention I really hate that comics don’t have the confidence to be dramatic fully in heart. 
Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2015-present) #23 Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos, Tamra Bonvillain
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I’m worried about my favorite adorable team of superheroes. How can there be a Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur if there is no Devil Dinosaur? But also... is this the inevitable end? Are there not more adventures to come of our favorite world class genius and dinosaur? According to solicits there’s more for Lunella but is there more for the friendship that warmed our hearts? Are any of us truly ready to say goodbye?
Story: Legitimately I have no idea what’s going to happen next with this comic because it seems like Lunella is sidekick hunting for the next couple of issues, so the real question is how ready did this issue make us to move on from the loving friendship between a girl from Yancey Street and her bumbling dinosaur? Honestly, compared to the majority of the tight and loving writing of this series, it doesn’t feel like this conclusion was something we were very well prepared for. Sure, Moon Boy and Devil Dinosaur are something we know of vaguely from other comics, but the anticlimax of the goodbye, and just how obvious it was that neither Lunella nor Devil were ready for it made the profound loneliness of this move feel so dissatisfying. Especially when Lunella returns to a doombot empty base instead of going home and emphasizes the strangeness even more. 
I’m hopeful that this is set up, but I’m always on high alert for books like this that could easily be canceled by Marvel and worried about ending on a note I really wouldn’t want it to.
Art: As always, the art for this book is gorgeous and the coloring is fascinating and eye popping. The cooler hues this time around really helped with the more subdued and sadder tone of the comic which made the actions toward the end not only more disconcerting but plainly just more heartbreaking. It was an excellent choice and incredibly subtle but effective. This is a creative team that truly understands their crafts more than the vast majority of people in the industry today, and that’s saying something since quality is not exactly in short supply in recent years. 
DC’s Nightwing (2016-present) Vol. 3: Nightwing Must Die Tim Seeley, Javier Fernandez, Chris Sotomayor
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So I don’t.... really have any surprises in the works for those of you who follow my main blog at @renaroo who got to witness me liveblogging my experience reading this comic yesterday, but I’ll just put it definitively on the record here: Uh. Not a good effort here, guys. And this is officially the last thing written by Tim Seeley this gal is going to be picking up. Which I’m getting really tired of saying about writers who handle either one of my main two DC dudes -- Dick or Terry. Can we just... have anyone... care a little more? A bit?
Story: Okay so there’s about three plots going on at the same time during this comic and I’m going to address them in the three and then talk about the One Issue That Doesn’t Fit after. So four parts: The Robin Story, The Baby Story, and The Batman Story, and then The Good One. The way the plot is laid out you could argue that these three are interwoven enough to deserve going in a linear basis but I would argue no not really. Please take note that the title of this storyline according to the trade cover is “Nightwing Must Die”, a callback to the climax of Morrison’s run on the original Batman and Robin (2009-2011) series titled “Batman and Robin Must Die”. No, I’m not nerdy and observant, this thing is determined to hit you over the head with this allusion at every turn. 
The Robin Story: Damian who has basically been forcefully emancipated from Bruce and sent to live across the country with the Teen Titans rather than ... idk just be sent to Gotham Academy which is a boarding school anyway, is pissed because internet forums have declared that the original Robin -- aka Dick -- is the best Robin and Damian sucks. Why Damian suddenly cares about 4Chan is beyond me but here we are. Now, despite there being an overly long and obnoxious storyline in Batman and Robin (2011-2015) called “War of the Robins” where Damian already went through this and beat up all his predecessors sans Dick because they have an actual relationship, or the entirety of “Robin: Son of Batman”, or the huge storyline “Robin Wars” where there were 30 Robins including Duke Thomas all over Gotham and something I didn’t pay attention to about the Court of Owls and Lincoln March -- this is a useless subplot that makes no sense for the characters or relationship that has already been established by Damian and Dick here. That’s what I’m saying. 
Because this story isn’t interested in getting Damian right or doing him any service. This is dedicated to Dick in... about the worst way. And the weak motivation for getting Damian in Blüdhaven in order to reinact the events of “Batman and Robin Must Die” are so contrived that there’s really this feeling of “we need Damian in Blüdhaven come up with an excuse later” instead of it being something organic. For example: Damian is quick to bring up his concerns that Dick staying in Blüdhaven and starting a new life with Shawn is because he’s trying to become Batman of his “own franchise” and that he’s abandoning the rest of the family. This is really disconnected from the motivation of “who’s the best Robin” and would make more sense on a character level if Damian went to Blüdhaven of his own volition because of that concern to begin with. He feels pushed out of the family, and with Tim’s death he’s upset and surprised by Dick’s seeming abandonment of everyone else. Including him. The Robin with THE most abandonment issues this side of Jason Todd. Why not bring up something along the lines of “you haven’t been home since the funeral”. That would contrast the themes of family, Dick and Damian’s relationship, and Dick’s supposed worries about personal responsibility all at once. 
This isn’t how that was handled and I am suspicious as to why. because we had to have that awful, ugly -- for me personally inexcusable -- panel where Dick tells Damian that he knows no one can balance being a superhero and having a secondary identity because Bruce sucks at it SO BAD that he now has the “burden” of being a father to a bunch of Batkids which he follows up with “And the one I think suffers the most from this is you, Damian. His only real son.” 
So. You know. Fuck themes about nonconventional families and adoption I guess. Tim Seeley, go kick your own ass because you don’t even deserve the ass kicking from me.
It might seem like I’m being harsh but this one moment is SO hugely stupid and never brought up again or refuted later to the point that not only is it gross on a real world level, it actually REALLY weakens the theme of families and the such through the rest of the story specifically because there’s now this big ugly turd of a plot thread looming and never dealt with. 
Professor Pyg and Doctor Hurt are back from Dick and Damian’s time as Batman and Robin and theyve made a bunch of disgusting Dollatrons specifically of Damian and Dick, or Robintron and Deathwing. This actually matters a lot less to the story than you might actually think because Robintron and Deathwing don’t have a relationship outside of being made to believe they’re Robin and Nightwing and one ultimately kills the other once they remember this. It’s symbolic because the Robintron was in Dick’s original Robin suit and Deathwing was in the New52 Nightwing suit do you get it do you get it do you get what they’re trying to say here it’s clever. Anyway. 
The symbolism on a meta level is pretty on the nose “The New52 Dick killed the innocence of the old timey Golden Age Dick la da da” but in story we don’t really have Damian go through an arc or actually develop as a result of this matter and neither does Dick. Does Dick feel like his identity as Nightwing has killed his relationship with Damian? With his other family? With his idealistic self? It doesn’t... seem like it. Dick just kind of... punches Doctor Hurt after he decides that tragedy doesn’t define him... or something. It was from the hallucinations and like a whole issue later from Deathwing killing Robintron. And then Deathwing and Doctor Hurt kill each other by stabbing and falling rocks. Both ways in which villains have NEEEVVVEEERRRRR returned from the dead from before so I’m sure they’re gone forever.
So the Robin Storyline as a whole? it kinda comes to a conclusion with a genuinely nice two page spread where Dick and Damian talk about missing each other and missing their time as Batman and Robin. Dick even confesses something that would have brought all these storylines together rather nicely if it was done correctly: when Bruce came back to be Batman, Dick thought of staying as Batman, too in order to stay with Damian and train and raise him. But ultimately he thought, at the time, that he wasn’t old enough or ready enough to take that responsibility. 
Dick was not ready to be a father but now he looks back at himself and who he is now and is ready for another go, with Damian or with his own children in the future. ... EXCEPT that reading of how the themes would play out are completely undermined and broken beyond repair by having Dick say that UNBELIEVABLE comment about how Damian is the only REAL son to Bruce and that the “Batfamily” aren’t a unit like that. Therefore the Robin Storyline doesn’t really have a conclusion. 
Damian’s going to go back to San Francisco and still get pissed at /b/, there’s no family unit for anyone to reflect on, and.... the baby storyline:
The Baby Storyline: I could sum this up with one gif. I really could. I’m not going to but because I know this is only entertaining to hear me yell for an extent, have the gif anyway:
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Now I’ll go into what actually bothered me about this storyline. Because this is tied to Dick’s relationship with Shawn and their pregnancy scare alone, and we see Dick freaking out at the possibility of the immense responsibility he may be stepping into, it actually genuinely had the potential to be a huge deal, a big game changer, something that actually would have developed both their characters and really questioned what they would be doing going forward with their lives. Would they both give up their costume lives? Would they move from Blüdhaven if they’re not defending the streets and it’s a terrible part of town? Would the baby have superheroes in its life from an early age?
It doesn’t matter because in what could probably be the weakest fake out ever, Shawn’s not pregnant she’s just... apparently not as regular as she once assumed. Which, hey, I hear that that happens fairly often for my fellow uterus havers and you know what? They’re young adults in their first serious relationship so I actually get the freakout from both of them. 
But it doesn’t end up meaning anything other than Dick screams at Damian a few times that they have to save his “girlfriend AND baby” and for some reason Damian just goes with it because Damian of course has never before in his life ever shown signs of jealousy and concerns about conditional love. 
The biggest problem beyond the fact that this plot’s resolution is a huge PSYCH spitting in everyone’s face is that... what... was the tie-in here? 
Was it JUST the drama of “PHEWWWW dodged that bullet, now let’s go give Sandy a makeover”? I guess so. 
Because if this was actually tied to the plots of the storyline it would have ended with at least one speech from Dick to Shawn, to his monologue, or to Damian that back when he returned to being Nightwing because he feared being too young and to unprepared to take responsibility for raising Damian, he had been wrong. He’s not ready because no one is, but he has a relationship with Damian that proves that he’s more than ready to be a father then and now. That he might not do it Bruce’s way because he didn’t like Bruce’s priorities, but he would find a way to balance all the aspects of his life and so can Shawn.
But that would require this story to... care about Shawn’s character more. 
I actually like Shawn? I want to see more of her and I think there’s a lot of potential there, but at the end of this story outside of genuinely good moments, like the time with her and Deathwing where she tries to soothe him, she’s... just a damsel to be rescued? Just a possible babymomma for tension?
If she was more than that, then the plot would have given her more to do once she joined Dick and Damian. Like even ONE scene of her and Damian playing off of each other in the aftermath would have done wonders, made her more than just an attachment for the advancement of Dick’s character, but we get more development for Deathwing and Robintron than for the potential love of Dick’s life.
Kidding. DC would never let Babs and Dick have actual meaningful romances outside of each other anymore. Just like DC will never let them have meaningful romances with each other!
So this was a trip into a cul de sac of disappointment. 
Also condoms condoms condoms condoms condoms boys and girls. Wrap it before you tap it. 
Or be a lesbian. But that’s my answer for everything.
#Shawn Tsang deserves better #Hollatchagirl
The Batman Story: Oh, Bruce. How your shadow lingers large over all things that have nothing to do with you. 
This is the “actual” plot. The one about Shawn being kidnapped and it all ending up being a plot by Professor Pyg and Doctor Hurt to relive the “Batman and Robin Must Die” storyline because....
Well. That’s the problem.
Doctor Hurt, as much as I really wasn’t a fan of that storyline under Morrison, served a very specific purpose. He was the antithesis to Dick when it came to Bruce’s legacy. Dick was his ward but also Bruce’s light and when he ascended to becoming Batman he took most of that with him and grew into the cape, so to speak. He embodied the detective work that Bruce taught him (finding the clues in the mantle that found the secret door), he embodied the friendship (taking his place as Batman on several superhero teams), and most importantly he embodied the head of the family. Alfred gave him advice, but Dick kept the Batfamily together as best he could, specifically by raising Damian as Bruce had raised him. And none of it was easy. 
Doctor Hurt worked as a villain to Dick’s Batman because he embodied the worst of Bruce’s darkness. The strange and forgotten stories of the past, the psychological horror, the devilish iconography. Those things that were Gritty McBadBat about Bruce were never things that Dick was going to embody as Batman. And that’s why Doctor Hurt and him battled, basically over the heart of Damian: Robin, the partner, the son, the future of the cowl. 
I didn’t like “Batman and Robin Must Die” because rather than have a huge statement about choosing the direction for Batman’s future by having Dick battle and defeat Doctor Hurt and his continuity drag, Morrison literally deus ex machina’d by having Bruce travel back through time and save Dick and Damian and basically take control immediately. It was such an anticlimax to both Dick and Damian’s arc even though Morrison tried to play it off as being the culmination of Dick and Damian and everyone else looking for Bruce plus Bruce’s “Return of Bruce Wayne” storyline. It’s messy and just feels like “whatever” at the end. 
I don’t like it here because .... Dick’s not Batman. He and Damian aren’t partners. Neither of those things have been factors for either of those characters for six years now and, I hate to break it to everyone here, but at least one of them was “dead” for at least three of those years anyway. 
Doctor Hurt is a Dick Grayson villain, but he is not a Nightwing villain. And the attempt to make him one here fell incredibly flat. 
Also why was Professor Pyg there? Does Professor Pyg now know Dick and Damian’s secret identities too? Was that throw away line about him building dollatrons for Hurt meant to tell us that no only Hurt knows the identities? How is that much better? Why does everyone know Dick’s identity and he doesn’t care? Why doesn’t Damian care that the random Robintron knows his full name and who his father is? Why doesn’t Dick? If only Hurt knows then how did Pyg brainwash Robintron and Deathwing? If Pyg didn’t why did Hurt need Pyg to brainwash them for this since he apparently already knows how?
This story basically sacrificed all logic within the story itself to tie-in Dick’s time as Batman, which he doesn’t want to go back to and isn’t  even tempted to go back to throughout the story, purely to justify having the Bat as part of the cover logo still. That’s it. 
The Good One: There’s a one shot at the very end of this volume, #21, that’s definitely filler in between storylines but is actually the best thing in this entire volume. Probably the best of this run of Nightwing I’ve read and... apparently will ever read since I’ve paid my penance and given Seeley’s turn a chance. It’s a classic team up between Dick and Wally with a pretty inventive villain named “Timebomb”. It’s funny, has a lot of heart, the coloring isn’t muted garbage, and it features some high stakes without losing its sense of fun. It’s a good issue. I would actually implore fans of Dick and Wally to pick it up. It does a great service to their friendship.
Art: The art is good, the entire “Nightwing Must Die” part was colored in this muted, pasty way that basically made all backgrounds feel like they weren’t a part of the scenes and made all humans look dead or undead as it were to the point that Dick and Damian -- both canonically characters of color and occasionally colored to match it -- have the same pallor of the rotting corpse faces sewn onto Robintron and Deathwing.
The exception is the blue used for Nightwing’s costume and gear and for Shawn’s hair because.... idk. I guess we’re supposed to guess that they’re important to the comic or something. 
No seriously, I love the art but they have to buy some more markers. I appreciate that you can only do so much when supplies are low but c’mon.
It’s a joke I know it’s a style choice I just don’t like the style.
But I emphasize again, the art is good. I just personally would go for the last issue’s coloring more than the main storyline’s. 
Image’s Saga (2012-present) #47 Fiona Staples, Brian K. Vaughn
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The real question comes to be... will Saga ever have a truly bad issue? I doubt it. Like at this point I’m not really sure what a bad Saga issue would even look like, but I think there’s absolutely no doubt that mediocre issues or issues that were more build up for what is to come can exist. Again, I give backhanded compliments here but I mean them... in the best way possible? Never mind, these cold opens are hard.
Story: We don’t progress too awfully much in this issue. The Will is captured by a vengeful victim’s wife who means to torture him by making him suffer and forcing him to see the very people he loves die.... until money gets involved and suddenly like everyone else she wants to capture Hazel and company to make the big starbucks. But, strangely for Saga, for the first time in this series we really don’t.... go anywhere with this issue outside of what’s taking place with the Will’s torture. There’s no scenes exploring what’s going on with the other groups, there’s no narration from future Hazel, we’re left with the Will, his past we haven’t seen yet, and his current circumstances. 
Now this could make sense, the jumping around Will’s past is in place of jumping around the stars, and how could Hazel ever know what’s happening to the Will here, but it just all feels like a departure from the near omnipotence of Saga’s story before. And mostly it just feels like a setup for explaining how we get all the characters gathered for the next part of the story. And that’s.... not as cool as it could be. 
It’s definitely a weaker entry for Saga overall, but that’s like saying a TV show with 100 episodes may have some that aren’t perfect.
Art: Fiona Staples’ art continues to be the star of the series, but perhaps because of the restraints of the setup, this isn’t the most visually creative or wildest design ideas she’s had in this series. The reveal of the shrew woman’s face felt.... anticlimactic compared to some of the truly out there examples of aliens unlike anything I’ve ever imagined before and it made the pause for the joke “my husband was nearly as beautiful as me” feel like... “have you seen what some of the other alien species look like????”
Likewise the backgrounds of both the flashbacks and of the room Will’s tortured in are not as wild as we’ve seen before, but I have to say the creative idea of the floating prism in space kind of makes up for it because that was creative and visually awing. Again, much like the story itself, the art only suffers because in comparison to the rest of Saga I’m only kind of blown away and not totally blown away. 
IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011-present) #74 Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Cory Smith, Ronda Pattison
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Man we are just in the forest for transitions in storylines right now. Nothing is bad but nothing is standing out and I was expecting much the same with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles considering that we’re on Part II of the Trial of Kraang, but you know, it wouldn’t be TMNT if they weren’t continuing to surprise me.
Story: So this is a court drama because if there’s one thing that TMNT is dedicated to it is DOING ALL OF THE THINGS and apparently court drama hadn’t been checkmarked yet so here we are. And as someone who really genuinely likes the minutia of continuity and rules and regulations of different worlds and the way laws work in different universes, I found things fairly compelling. Not the least of which because of the smart use of characters and how they fit into their roles -- especially Donny and Professor Honeycutt both working as the prosecution. Don, after all, is the sci-fi heart of TMNT and him being in the thick of this as Kraang is the most “his” of their roster of villains makes perfect sense.
We mostly hit the same beats you’d expect from a court drama -- an unfavorable judge, slimy defense attorney making things hard for our prosecutors, the prosecutors pull a surprise key witness, and all in the background we have the unraveling of victims and friends trying to deal with the uncertainty of the situation while also.... fighting an interdimensional alien war. Hm. Okay so that last part is pure TMNT shenanigans but the drama of the story is really structured and punctual.
Which.... basically means that this issue is something like 80% dialogue with little tiny bits of action to give the other three turtles and their friends something to do while Don and Honeycutt hold down the fort. And if you’re prepared for that going in, you’ll probably find the case as interesting and the way facts are being retold and manipulated fascinating, but if you’re not then it’s probably going to be a bit of a slog compared to the ninja action you’re usually used to.
Art: TMNT’s art is always so shockingly good that it’s hard to comment on anymore. I really like how varied and interesting alien designs are with people not afraid to be gross by “human standards” when making things. And I like that the turtles manage to be simple so that they stand out in every setting without feeling out of place, and still have enough variation and ranges of emotions that there’s no confusing them with each other when the masks are off. It’s very good art and that should always be applauded. 
Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starforce: Cries of the Fire Prince (2017) #2 Kevin Panetta, Paulina Ganucheau, Sarah Stern
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I have been on the edge of my seet for a few months now, waiting for news on when the next Zodiac Starforce was going to be coming out and, at long last, the answer came. It was today! And there was much rejoicing. From me. Because I’ve absolutely fallen for this team book.
Story: We learn more about the titular Fire Prince and honestly that’s where a lot of my apprehensions come into play. In the original comic series, the Starforce was comedic at times but its drama was never undercut by it. Relationships were taken seriously and the threat to the girls was certainly serious, particularly from their own goddess and from Cimmeria. So when the first half of this issue was spent with the Fire Prince and making his powers known but also having him laughably dance around and prove to be a bit of a sadsack and not even comparable to the last threat of Cimmeria -- having been imprisoned and shamed by her himself -- it was a little worrisome. The threat after a huge battle like last time shouldn’t really be followed up by something we’re directly told is lesser. And that fed right into the lesser fights too, with Savannah undercutting Alice’s threat by having to make a joke of why they were fighting and remind her of the fact that she even was a threat to the Starforce to begin with. I know I’m throwing this word around a lot lately but it feels like bathos -- like fearing the sincerity of the drama so going for a joke instead. And that wasn’t something I really remember happening in the previous volume.
That all said, the one thing always played straight and the risk that is never dampened is honestly the one that remains the most important overall, and that’s the relationships between the girls themselves. Lily and Savannah’s romance and Savannah’s obviously very supportive mother, Molly and Emma’s close friendship, everyone’s concern for Kim -- it’s all great stuff and taken seriously throughout which is why I still have a lot of hope and expectations for this series. It’s just so nice to see a book that’s so supportive and intent on emphasizing the importance of female relationships.
Art: The art for Zodiac Starforce is beautiful and popping, but it also has a very serious control of its style so as to not be cartoonish beyond the point of feeling the danger or concern for things within the story. Even so, there were a few things that felt off model this time around. It’s mostly nitpicking, but there was something different about the way Emma’s hair was drawn, specifically when she was Gemini, and there were a few times where Alice and her goons seemed to look very different from how I remembered them. but overall I can’t emphasize enough that it’s a beautiful book and really does capture the feeling of being a Western Magical Girl team story. 
There was a lot of good this week in a lot of different ways but when I think of what I enjoyed the most I have to absolutely give it to Black Magick. This book captures a unique style and tone of two things I sincerely love -- noir and witchcraft -- and is really doing something special with them in the modern age. And those are the kind of daring choices -- much like doing a mostly black-and-white comic when almost all comics stick to high definition coloring -- that really capture my attention and help any book stand out in a given week. So that absolutely must be my Pick of the Week, even with some of my harsher criticisms sent its way.
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And, once more, I am in a bit of a financial crunch for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which being the medical bills I’m paying for my dog, Eve, who experienced a catastrophic dog fight and underwent surgery recently. On top of that, I have exactly a month and a half to pack up everything I own and move halfway across the country again which is not helping those financial crunches I mentioned before either.
As such, I really would appreciate if you enjoy my content or are interested in helping me out, please check out either my Patreon or PayPal. Every bit helps and I couldn’t thank you enough for enjoying and supporting my content.
You could also support me by going to my main blog, @renaroo, where I’ll soon be listing prices and more for art and writing commissions.
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