#txt.rpcrimeboys

[rpcrimeboys]

do you ever think about this? Because I do. Constantly.

dandelions are some of my FAVOURITE flowers ever and FUCKIGN HELL I adore the comparison here. Like. FUCK MAN. the idea of at the beginning of everything ctommy was bright, happy, open. during exile and all the other shit, he closed in on himself, isolated.

But again, he grew And he changed. He opened up again. He's different now, but he's still himself. He's still tommy. He's just grown. He's older. And he's got a few more scars. But it's still tommy. He's a bit softer now, not picking fights as much. But he's happy. Yknow?

Even though it seemed Like for a while maybe he was dead. Maybe there wasn't a way out. He got through it . He's alive. Right?

(Ignore how it should be flipped)

IDO YOU SEE THE VISION? ctommy is so dandelion coded. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[rpcrimeboys]

c!tommy wakes up, unable to catch his breath, every scar on his skin searing with pain. Every one. Every part of him aches so bad it feels like it's burning. He's not in exile anymore. Every morning it feels like he has the pleasure of reliving it.

Everytime someone drags their hands through his wings, or plays with his hair, their hands take on the shape of one's too familiar. The panic catches in his throat, knowing its irrational, but not being able to stop himself from double checking. It makes him feel sick, knowing how cDream's touch has tainted him. So much of him, ruined, scarred, broken. He misses when the bandana at his neck didn't feel like a collar: being tugged on, choking him.

He misses when struggling didn't feel like drowning. He misses when healing didn't feel like a betrayal.

He misses Wilbur, and her stupid coat and stupidly warm arms that would hold him. He misses that safety, even if it never was quite safe.

Wilbur was safe the way two guns pointing at eachother was safe. Dream was safe in the way he had a gun pointed to your head, but promised it would be gentle and quick.

Tommy wonders if he really deserved it, spending hours in church prime, praying and begging at carefully constructed alters to gods who have abandoned him .

[rpcrimeboys]

c!tommy praying to a god he knows has abandoned him. Feeling dirty, tainted, and so violently alone. c!tommy muttering prayers quietly during exile, hands shaking as he held them together as tightly as he could. Desperate. Begging for any god out there to save him, Surely he's paid for whatever sins he has commited?

[rpcrimeboys]

grief is almost like a trenchcoat, stained with gunpowder, blood and worn to it's threads, but the warmth is so familiar you can't bear to part with it.

[rpcrimeboys]

Thinking about cwilbur. Who carries so, so much guilt. It's a pain in her chest, suspiciously close to the stab of a sword. It's a smoke after a long shift, leaving her clothes smelling like Cigarettes. (Tommy never did like it when he smoked.) So much guilt, it weighs her down. Her feet drag and he can't seem to hold his head high. There's a pressure around his neck, like a noose, or someone's blade pushed against his throat. (It reminds him of quackity). There's scars on his hands, as he clumsily tries to play guitar. Relearning the notes, and the songs. Wilbur soot is haunted by ghosts that come in the form of guilt, and because of this, she will never quite forgive herself.

[rpcrimeboys]

I like to think that if people ever ask him about his family, he pulls up the pictures. He shows them pictures of his kids, tommy and tubbo. His basically grand kid, Michael. He talks about how they live far away, but they send her updates every so often. He basically shows them off like a proud parent. He deserves to, after all, she practically raised them.

I like to hc that before cwilbur got to the dsmp ctommy and ctubbo used to call him CONSTANTLY . Like these bitches were always on the phone to him. He'd get really shitty pictures of tubbo covered in mud and smiling or tommy messing with someone's stuff randomly throughout the day. He saved all of them like a proud parent. I think that a year or two after he leaves for Utah, the pictures start again. Of tommy, holding shroud with a proud grin. Of tubbo working on plans and designs for devices. Of The two of them playing with Michael. Of Tommy Messing with ranboo at the van. He saves every one.