#two (2) consecutive minutes

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

frog hop 2 bops but it's also Peak Rhythm Hell for my brain cuz whenever it plays my brain's just like "what if i autofilled the cues AND also the lyrics for young love rock 'n' roll AND also the frog hop 2 guitar lesson cues" and it is extremely hellish-

[kairos-polaris]

my mutual waking up to see me still awake: *disapproval*

me: :3

[shooting-a-wizard-with-a-gun7]

Don't get me wrong, I love Destiny 2 raids but sometimes it's like, Okay PEECHAN1000 we'll do the complex stuff, here's what we need you to do: first you have to kill the 17 elite wizards in this room without getting hit by the global shockwave that goes off every 5 seconds (it will instakill you and everyone will have to restart the entire encounter) then you'll get two buffs, one will last for 30 seconds, the other for 20 seconds. When the first buff runs out, but before the second buff runs out, you'll have a ten second window to pick up one of three glowing orbs hidden around the room (to find out which one you need, determine which day of the week and the exact minute on the hour it is and follow the flow chart we posted in discord) then run to a square that is not the boss's least favorite color and do three counter clockwise circles and shoot the smallest of 50 knights exactly ten times. If you did it correctly you will hear a tiger's growl, if you did it incorrectly you will hear a lion's growl. If you don't do this in time, we wipe. Do all of that three more times, this will open the passage to where we'll deal damage to the boss, but don't go though it yet! Next you'll have 30 seconds to run seven laps around this spire of floating platforms while jumping through rings, each lap you will pass a large projection of one of the presidents of the united states, decide which president this is and make a mental note of each president's full name and consecutive years in office and birthday. Then you'll have 20 seconds to call out to us the name of every president you did not see while running laps. It will be more helpful to the rest of us if you could list them in reverse alphabetical order. This will give you a buff which will last for 10 seconds and will allow you to deal damage to the boss. Now let's go over damage phase. Remember the years those seven president's were in office and their birthdays?

[glamourscat]

It was 3am and you were supposed to be asleep, but after dating TIM DRAKE for almost two years now, you picked up on his weird sleeping patterns. Tonight in particular your brain won’t rest. Not until you will receive his usual post patrol message.

2am, then 2:30, 3 and 3:30am rolls around and your lack of sleep was slowly turning into anxiety. Why hadn’t he texted yet? Did something happened? You try to make sense of the situation, but your brain is refusing from making you think logically. And just as you were about to message him, his message comes through.

“sorry for the late message. had to run in the shower immediately after i arrived home cause i was covered in blood” he texts 

“not mine btw” he follows up, knowing already to clarify. 

“good, good. im glad you’re ok love, i was beginning to worry. what are you doing now then?” you text back, eyes fluttering at the screen waiting for those three dots to appear. But they don’t. In their place a picture appears. 

Him. In front of the mirror. His face covered by his phone, one arm on the sink leaning a bit to flex his muscles and that towel dangerously low, enough to see his v-line and the outline of his hardness against it. Oh….

“damn, drop the towel? 🙂‍↕️🙏🏻”  “for scientific purposes obviously…” you add in two consecutive texts. 

You know it’s unlikely he would do it, but teasing him comes naturally to y— he did it. You cannot even continue your train of thoughts because suddenly his next picture comes through. The towel gone, his pretty cock— and that damn blushy pink tip— staring right back at ya, hard against his stomach. 

You can’t even begin to form a coherent thought  as another picture comes through. 

This time he is on his bed, on his knees— which are open to show the view between his legs— His hungry, leaking, cock is begging to be touched; while his face now—no longer covered by the phone�� looks at his phone through the mirror reflection with a knowingly devilish grin. And your mind goes to one thought, and one only, how desperately you wish to have a dick. Because he looks so damn breedable right now. 

“cause I don’t feel like I did it right the first time ;)” he texts back within seconds from sending that second picture. 

“hey…? you still there lol?” he texts back after 10,  long minutes without a reply from you. Did he overstep? Was it too much…?  But then the outdoor camera alerts him of a movement outside his front door. 

“im outside. open me up.”  ________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

A/N: I wrote this at 5AM and had the sudden, horny, urge of writing for Tim. Nothing else to add lmao. Also this is not proofread :(

© GLAMOURSCAT (all rights reserved. do not share, modify, translate and re-upload my work outside of tumblr)

[emo-batboy]

Battinson Guest Starring on TV Shows

SO

For someone who holds the title of Richest Man in the World, Bruce doesn’t do a lot of traveling.

Which is to say he does a LOT of traveling, but he always tries to find a way out of it.

(Are there bat-related reasons for this? Are there people-related reasons for this? Are there anxiety-related reasons for this? Who knows?)

But partners and sponsors aren’t always going to tolerate his hermit-like tendencies. So once every month or so, Alfred wrangles Bruce into a private jet and sends him off to who knows where so he can represent the company.

Usually, it’s somewhere close on the East Coast, maybe it’s across the pond, even Asia isn’t off the table, but the rarest place to spot Bruce Wayne is actually the West Coast of the US.

One day, it is announced that Bruce Wayne will be spending two (count ‘em, 2) consecutive weeks in California with his kids for some grand business convention.

The West Coast media goes feral with the news, ESPECIALLY interviewers. And because Bruce kicks up such a fuss this time, Alfred has the gall to sign him up for FOUR TV appearances.

Here are these appearances :)

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Drag Queens, especially Drag Race all-stars, contribute to a wide variety of charities

So on a new episode, the queens are challenged to design and shoot a promotional ad for their own charity

And who better to act as a guest judge for this episode than the show’s largest benefactor, CEO of the Wayne Foundation, Bruce Wayne?!

Physically? He’s older than half of the contestants. But spiritually? He screams Baby Gay.

Fifteen minutes into the episode, Bruce is welcomed into the werkroom where he gives them pointers on their campaign. He’s in his cute little three-piece suit (Alfred’s idea) with the intention of looking put-together and knowledgeable. But that’s not the only outcome.

They all flirt with him. Everyone, single or taken. The confessionals are so thirsty.

“He’s lucky the cameras are on. Otherwise, I’d eat him up faster than a bachelorette party in a buffet line.”

“My celebrity crush is talking to me, and all I can focus on are his gorgeous eyes. How am I supposed to know what he's saying?”

Of course, they shoot their shot, but most of it is joking since they don't know he's bi yet.

“Are you single, honey?” Bruce blushes. “It’s complicated.” “Well, I’ll make it simple for you.”

We all know this man can't handle being flirted with. We saw how he froze when Selina did it. It’s like he mentally bluescreens when someone calls him a pet name.

Only THEN do they learn he's bi

One of the queens jokingly asks him, “Ever been with a man before?” thinking it would be a firm no, but Bruce says, “Actually, yes.” “Oh shit, really?” And to Bruce’s embarrassment, the whole room hears him.

The flirting is thus taken up a notch.

On the main stage, Bruce has a lot of great constructive criticism. He talks about how to find the right audience, the importance of a good slogan, and even goes on a little rant about logo design.

(You cannot convince me that Bruce hasn’t hyperfixated on the business of charity work before. Or the science of marketing. They’re his favorite business topics.)

After about three minutes of him complimenting one contestant for their Drag Library pitch, he stops himself mid-sentence and says, “Oh sorry, am I talking too much?” “No, please! Keep talking, sweetheart.” Bruce covers his face to hide his blush. “Why is everyone flirting with me?” “Baby, have you seen yourself?”

While the judges deliberate, RuPaul mentions Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. Bruce nods along for a while then suddenly just blurts out, “Wait, does it spell ****?”

The judges pause then burst out laughing. “Oh no, we’ve traumatized him!" Bruce is blushing up a storm. “I just never thought about it like that!” “Sweet, innocent Bruce. We’re so sorry.”

It’s later revealed that Bruce offered to help some of the queens launch their charity projects through the Wayne Foundation.

It’s v cute 🥰

Nailed It!

I love Nicole Byer.

She is Mother.

In all seriousness, she’s so fucking funny and she’s personable enough to pull Bruce out of his shell a bit.

The theme for this episode is Found Family. Three pairs of family members compete together—a gay father and his adopted son, an aunt who adopted her niece, and a stepfather and stepdaughter.

Because Bruce Wayne famously adopted two children, he is invited to guest judge.

So Nicole opens the episode with a zinger, the contestants are introduced, and Bruce is welcomed onto the judge’s panel beside Nicole and Jacques.

(Yes, Bruce does speak French. Yes, Nicole makes a joke about it being hot.)

Nicole: “We were surprised you accepted our invitation, Mr. Wayne. You’re notorious for staying on the East Coast. What brought you to the Nailed It! Studio?” Bruce: “My children love this show. They always tell me I should be on it since I’m so bad at baking.” Nicole: “Really? Maybe we should do a celebrity season of Nailed It! and have you compete.” Bruce: “No, you should not.”

Nicole: “So, Bruce, I know you have a butler at home who bakes for you. But what’s the grossest thing you’ve eaten? Escargot? Bad caviar?” Bruce: “I drank olive oil straight from the bottle once.” Nicole: “…What?”

The problem for Bruce is he can’t say anything bad. It just feels mean :(

(And he would rather jump into oncoming traffic than gamble with a social interaction)

For the first challenge, the contestants make cake pops. But when Bruce tries the first one, there is a sickening crunch. Bruce’s eyes widen for a second and he slowly chews.

Nicole: “What was that? Bruce, are you okay?” Bruce, clearly struggling: “It’s…good.”

“Bruce, you can spit it out. It’s okay.” “I already swallowed it.” “Oh, you poor thing.” Bruce chokes for a second, and Nicole pats his back. “Please don’t die. We can’t afford it.”

For the big challenge, production has a surprise in store for Bruce.

Dick (9) and Jason (7) run onto the set and smother Bruce with a hug.

It’s adorable. Bruce no longer cares about paying attention, okay? His kids are here :D

The two boys read from cue cards to announce the second challenge: a three-tiered Gotcha Day cake. And as per tradition, the winner of the first challenge gets a leg-up.

This time, it’s a Helping Hands Button. When they hit the button, Dick and Jason will run over and help them for three minutes. (While being supervised, of course.)

As the contestants bake, Nicole says hello to Dick and Jason, who are clambering all over Bruce like a jungle gym. They both shake her hand and talk about how they love the show.

Nicole looks pointedly at the two empty chairs beside Bruce. “You know, we brought these chairs for you two to sit in.” Dick, on Bruce’s shoulders: “We’re fine, Ms. Byer!” Nicole: “Ms. Byer? Oh, you’re a cutie, aren’t you?”

Just ten minutes before the challenge is over, the Helping Hands button is pressed, and Dick and Jason are given stools so they can help the aunt and niece stack their cake tiers.

Two minutes in, the aunt instructs them to let go of the cake. But the moment Jason pulls his hands away, the cake topples over and covers him in frosting. Jason, whispering: “Oh f*ck.” Bruce: “Jason!” Jason: “I didn’t say that! Dick did!” Nicole: *cackling as Bruce buried his face in his hands*

Jason gets cleaned up, and Dick helps them stack what can still be salvaged.

When Wes brings out the trophy, he’s dressed as Batman. Dick and Jason gets a kick out of that.

Celebrity Family Feud

Bruce was invited to the show after his SNL skit went viral a few months ago

This episode, the teams are split up by cities they grew up in. Gotham v. Star City. Naturally, his team is playing for the Wayne Foundation.

It’s a pretty odd cast of people, most of them having moved to LA or Hollywood. Bruce is the only one to still live in Gotham.

They have fun, though, despite their limited common ground. The audience has a few good laughs.

(Some at Bruce's expense)

Harvey: You're a very wealthy man, Mr. Wayne. What do you really do in that tower all day? Bruce: I, uh…business? Harvey: …You business. Bruce: ……Wait-

All in good fun. Bruce just vibes in his little corner until he needs to answer a question. It's pretty chill.

For exactly half of the episode.

Then it happens.

Steve Harvey takes two people from each team up to the buzzer and says, “We asked 100 people: Name something your parents always told you as a kid.”

What the production failed to consider is how this particular question might be a sensitive topic for some contestants.

Bruce’s team gets the question, and Steve saunters up to Bruce, completely oblivious.

“Alright, Bruce Wayne!” Bruce nods awkwardly. “Hi, Steve.” “Bruce, what’s wrong? You’re looking a bit uncomfortable.” “…I don’t like this question, Steve.” “Why not?” Bruce just gives him a desperate look, and it clicks. “Oh! Oh my gosh!”

Let’s be real. Bruce is awkward enough, but Steve Harvey cannot save an awkward moment for his life either.

But he tries his best anyway and asks, “Are you okay with answering this question, or would you like to pass?” Bruce nods frantically. “I can answer. ‘I love you.’” “I love you too, Mr. Wayne.” “No, uh, my answer is ‘I love you.’” “Oh! That’s a good one.”

Thankfully, the audience erupts in laughter. That little interaction cuts the tension, and Bruce’s answer ends up on the board.

And by god, the memes

“I love you too, Mr. Wayne” is the new “Enjoy your meal.” “You too.”

The audio clip of “I don’t like this question, Steve” goes viral on TikTok

Someone gets a pic of Bruce and Steve looking at each other with palpable fear in their eyes, and it makes its rounds all over Twitter

10/10 never again

Running Wild with Bear Grylls

Now this is the most challenging. Not because it’s difficult, of course. But because Bruce has to look stupid enough to maintain his Brucie Wayne persona but smart enough to keep himself safe.

For this episode, Bear takes Bruce to the California desert.

“How much do you know about survival, Bruce?” Bear asks. Bruce nods carefully. “I did some survival training once with a friend from boarding school.” “Oh really, how did you do?” “Fine, I think.”

This is, of course, his way of saying I trained with a league of assassins for years, but Bear can’t know that! And that’s how most of the episode goes.

Thank god Bruce's fear of being caught is mistaken for being scared of the physical challenge because every time Bear points out how well he’s doing, he breaks into a sweat.

Bear: For a businessman, you’re surprisingly fit. Bruce, sweating bullets: Oh, this is all just for show.

Bear: Wow, you’re a natural. Are you sure you’ve never set up a zip-line before? Bruce, gripping his equipment so tight he gets rope burn: I think it’s just the survival instincts.

Of course, he pretends to be out of breath a few times. The Drama.

Bruce, pretending to slip and fall: Ouch! Who knew the outdoors were so dangerous? Bear, you are crazy. Bruce, internally: How much longer are we doing this?

Bruce being a vegetarian is actually a point of contention. You see, Bear always makes their celebrity guests do something crazy for food like skin a snake or eat a mouse. Scavenging for berries just doesn’t grab the audience’s attention.

But do you know what is vegetarian?

Bear: Now, in extreme cases of survival, it’s not rare for humans to resort to drinking their own pee. That’s what we’ll be doing in a moment. Are you up for it? Bruce, visibly repulsed: I’ve had Gotham tap water. I’ll be fine.

How on God’s Green Earth did Alfred convince him to do this?

To get to the extraction point, Bear takes Bruce down a cliffside.

Bear shows Bruce the meticulous process of properly belaying from the top of a cliff, and Bruce, who has done this over 100 times is like, “Wow that’s so dangerous :( Will we be okay?”

He really tries to ramp up his acting skills this time.

(Little does he know that’s not necessary.)

Bruce goes down first as Bear belays with a cameraman filming from the top. Halfway down, Bruce hears a scuffle, and the cameraman yells, “F*ck!”

Bruce looks up, arms already out for protection, and he sees a small disk falling towards him. It’s the lens cap. He catches it on instinct.

For a second, he thinks, “Shit, was that too skilled? That’s not enough to make people think I’m Batman, right? I just caught it in midair while dangling from a cliff. That’s totally not weird and suspicious. Normal people do that—“

Then Bear yells, “Bruce, drop it!” Bruce looks up at Bear, confused. “Why?” “There's a scorpion!” That’s when Bruce looks at the lens cap and sees a black scorpion perched on top with its tail ready to strike.

They don’t have those in Gotham.

Bruce jumps in his harness and flings the cap at the rocky cliffside. He hears a crunch, and the scorpion and cap tumble to the ground. Bruce frowns. Can a scorpion survive that drop?

“You just killed a scorpion, mate!” Bear cries. Bruce looks up in horror. “I killed it?!” “Hell yeah!” Bruce’s face falls. “No!”

Because oh. shit.

Bruce just killed something. The sad, orphaned vegetarian just killed a scorpion.

Bruce has a meltdown.

He didn’t mean to kill it!!!! Oh no, he just killed an innocent little creature. Yeah, he punches people for fun sometimes, and he definitely put a few violent criminals in the hospital, but he’s never committed MURDER!!

This poor little scorpion died due to his own negligence, and he feels so so so bad about it.

Bruce is a mess as he climbs the rest of the way down.

Bruce, cradling the scorpion’s body: I don’t know how to perform CPR on a scorpion! Bear: Bruce, you took its head clean off. Bruce: *sad noises*

Legit inconsolable. To him, it’s like he just murdered a puppy

Once they're out, Bear is trying to cheer him up. Bless him.

Bear: We’ve conquered the wild! Haven’t we, Bruce? Bruce, head between his legs, still mourning the scorpion: I’m never going outside again.

Yeah, no one’s going to think he’s Batman after that.

And that's all four of Bruce's TV appearances from the West Coast :) Dick and Jason never let him live any of it down. Alfred is almost sorry. (He is not sorry.)

Let me know your thoughts! What other TV shows do you think Battinson would appear on as a guest?

Okie dokie :D Love y'all! Have a good day <3

[moon1833]

Haikyuu! Boyfriend headcannons! Part 2

Seijoh, Nekoma, and Fukurōdani

IWAIZUMI

Unrequited/requited love/miscommunication (sorry)!

Had class together.

Thought you were one of Oikawa’s fan girls trying to get closer to him for his best friend at first since Oikawa was right next to him.

You genuinely just didn’t know what the homework was.

Had no idea he was even on the volleyball team until you heard him talking to his friend in class.

He always thought you were beautiful, but he didn’t bother attempting anything.

You started talking to him in class a little, but he was still unsure about your intentions.

You thought it was funny how he was always yelling at his friend.

The first time you laughed at Iwaizumi calling him “Shitty-kawa” he completely froze up from shock.

Knew he was in too deep at that point.

He told Oikawa about his feelings for you and he took at as an opportunity to get to know you, too.

You thought he was nice, but you were interested in Iwaizumi.

Asked Oikawa to help set you up

He took match making very seriously.

However, Iwaizumi saw you two talking and texting more and just assumed he was right all along.

Started a rift between him and Oikawa, Iwaizumi confronted him eventually.

Oikawa came clean about everything.

Iwaizumi told him he wanted to get to know you at your own pace but he appreciates the effort.

He starts talking to you more.

Knowing you liked him made him insanely nervous he could barely string a sentence together.

Oikawa didn’t tell you that he knew you liked him.

He invites you to a game.

You’re cheering for him as loud as you can since everyone else was cheering for Oikawa.

“He’s overrated.” You told him after the game. “I thought you were much more interesting to watch.”

He almost kissed you right there in the middle of the gym, ignoring Oikawa complaining about how ‘mean’ you were to him.

Asked you if you wanted to grab ice cream after the game.

You say yes obviously.

You spent at least 15 consecutive minutes telling him how awesome the game was.

He was bright red the whole time.

Slyly bought your ice cream before you could even think about getting your wallet.

“There’s a little ice cream on your face.”

“Oh,” you wipe your face, embarrassed. “did I get it?”

“Can I?” you nod.

He takes his thumb and wipes the bottom of your lips (there was no ice cream on your face).

You closed the distance, unable to handle how he was looking at you

Ice cream was suddenly his favorite dessert.

Favorite past time as a couple was making fun of Oikawa (who insisted on third wheeling both of you).

Light PDA as much as he can.

Hand on your thigh whenever you’re sitting next to each other, or around your shoulder.

He loves showing you off.

He’s very gentle with you.

Kisses your face all the time whenever you’re cuddling.

OIKAWA

Fake dating/drunk confessions (very slight grumpy x sunshine if you squint)!

You were team manager for Seijoh.

You had no problem with Oikawa, but it did annoy you that you had to deal with the swarm of fangirls almost every day.

You had an intimidating aura, so they backed off when you were around.

He wouldn’t admit it, but the girls approaching him daily bothered him too more than it flattered him.

He also felt bad constantly rejecting girl after girl because he wanted to focus on volleyball.

He proposed the idea of a fake relationship to you.

You were opposed to it at first, you didn’t want to get killed by a crazy fangirl.

He said he “wouldn’t let that happen.”

You told him if it was up to him to protect you, you were screwed.

He asked you to think it over.

You weighed your options, you were constantly hit on from other teams and decided it’d be a good idea.

He hugged you and lifted you up when you told him.

Decided the only people who would know it was fake was Iwaizumi.

Which meant even in practice you had to pretend.

Oikawa was a good actor, he was constantly wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head.

It was hard to stay unbothered by it and make it seem like it was normal.

Iwaizumi almost forgot it was fake.

Oikawa had just gotten used to kissing your cheek goodbye, he kept doing it even when no one was around.

He started realizing he was developing real feelings for you after you showed up to practice in his jacket with his name on it.

Even though it was planned, it was impossible for him to think about anything but you in his clothes for a few nights.

You realized you were falling for him when he fell asleep on your head while sitting next to you on the bus after a game.

He smelled good.

At a house party celebrating another win for Seijoh, you both showed up together.

You both drank a little too much, and the casual arm around your shoulder as you both spoke to the group on the couch had you leaning into him.

As more people sat down around you both you ended up on his lap.

He sneakily kept kissing your neck.

Got to a point where you were dragging him somewhere deeper into the house.

Momentarily thought you were about to chew him out or that he overstepped.

Last thing he was expecting was for you to use his collar to bring his face to your level and kiss him, backing him against a wall.

“I wish this was real.” He mumbled practically into your mouth.

“Look around.” You replied, running your hands through his hair. “Who am I faking this for?”

Neither of you forgot the next morning.

However, you were too scared to talk about it with him.

Regardless, Oikawa showed up at your door at 10 in the morning (as soon as he woke up) with breakfast and coffee.

You had just finished throwing up and wanted to again at the sight of him in your kitchen with his glasses.

He admitted he was starting to want a real relationship with you, but understood if you didn’t mean anything by your actions last night.

“If I didn’t feel like I was dying right now I’d kick you.”

Started dating for real after that.

He is always tickling you.

CONSTANT PDA.

If you thought it was bad before it’s even worse now.

His fangirls cannot stand you so he’s always with you.

Always a hickey on his neck.

He purposely wears shirts that reveal it.

BOKUTO

Opposites/tutor x student!

You had Trig together.

You sat in the back of the room and never really spoke.

Bokuto would ask questions so frequently the teacher would call on him even if he didn’t raise his hand.

Class would laugh at him but he genuinely didn’t understand the work.

Your teacher offered you (who was at the top of the class) to tutor him for extra credit.

You agreed.

The first time he came to the library for your first session he loudly declared how pretty you were.

You were caught off guard, flushing red as Bokuto apologized.

Found out that he just had a short attention span but he could focus if he really tried.

Constantly changing the subject to talk to you.

Started walking you to class (he was late to his own classes)

Begged you to come to his matches.

Out of curiosity you did (you wanted to see him play).

He shouted your name and waved at you the moment you walked in, telling his entire team you were here.

He was on 1000% the whole time, showing off as much as he could.

Ran up to you as soon as the game was done to ask you if you thought he played well.

Akaashi came to pull him back, apologizing.

You called him that night to tell him he played well.

Ended up on the phone with him until 4am.

Continued to tutor him, even though he eventually got kicked out of the library for being too loud.

Now studied at his house or yours.

He did not get any work done when he was in your room for the first time (he hadn’t seen you in comfy clothes before, either).

Purposefully left his hoodie at your house so you’d have to visit him at practice and give it back to him.

Partially wanted you to keep it.

When he passed his trig test for the first time, you hugged him from excitement.

He was so excited he picked you up and spun you around.

You volunteered for the summer training camp as a nurse (Bokuto asked you to with puppy eyes).

He would purposely get hurt so you’d have to help him.

Would get dramatically jealous if you were tending to another guy.

Kuroo flirted with you in an attempt to get Bokuto to admit that he liked you.

Bokuto just scooped you up and walked away.

When wrapping his fingers for the third time even though he didn’t need it, he asked you to “kiss it better”.

You rolled your eyes at him before kissing his cheek.

“If this will stop you from jamming your fingers intentionally, then sure.”

Ran back into the gym yelling to Kuroo that you kissed him.

You fell asleep on his shoulder on the way home.

It was the longest anyone on the team had seen him be quiet.

At your next study session, you’d rearward him for each question answered correctly with another kiss on the cheek.

Suddenly was an academic weapon.

Would giggle after each one.

Gently kissed him on the lips that day at the end of the worksheet you made for him.

Ended up on your bed.

He talks about you to everyone.

Asked you if he could be your boyfriend.

Loves to lay on top of you.

You’re the only person who could get him out of “emo mode”.

He loves picking you up.

AKAASHI

Childhood friends to lovers/young love!

You met Akaashi when you were in elementary school, you were seat buddies.

You were both on the quieter side, he was overall introverted while you were just nervous.

Bonded over a box of crayons.

You came out of your shell more as you got older.

Were inseparable.

Always holding his hand.

Everyone always teased you two.

We’re each other’s first kisses at the age of 10 because you wanted to know what it felt like.

Supported him more than anyone else through volleyball.

He knew he always liked you, but didn’t want to compromise the friendship.

Bokuto convinces him to confess.

You return his feelings to his surprise.

You were both young (in middle school) when you told each other you had feelings for each other, so you didn’t really seriously date for a few years.

Maybe argued once in your whole relationship.

He’s very understanding.

Knows you better than you do.

He proposes right after graduation.

Long engagement because you’ve “waited this long”.

We’re practically married before you were married.

Bokuto’s your practice kid.

KUROO

Fated lovers!

Met him by ‘accident’.

Your cat had run out your front door, you were looking for him.

You find him nuzzled into some guys arms at the park he usually ran off to.

You’re so happy you found him you almost forget to thank Kuroo, who found your cat.

He thought that was cute.

You’re walking away, still talking to your cat before you noticed his presence.

You bowed, thanking him repeatedly.

He wanted to ask for your number right then and there but you were already running off.

Went to the same school, but Nekoma was so big you never saw him before.

Ran into him one morning on the train.

He gave up his seat for you to sit, and you spent the rest of the trip talking to each other.

Gives you the nickname “Kitty”.

You hate it (you love it).

Introduces you to Kenma, who takes a liking to you.

Kuroo gets jealous of how much nicer he is to you than him.

Started walking to the train station together every morning.

You fall asleep on him almost every time.

He’s worried you’re not sleeping well now (you will not hear the end of it).

One morning, there was no room to sit so you were both forced to stand, using the pole for balance.

Someone knocks into you, sending you roughly into Kuroo.

He snaps at the person who shoved you to watch it before holding you by the waist protectively.

You couldn’t string a thought together for a few moments.

The SMOOTHEST in asking you out.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No, you won’t.” You tilt your head at him in confusion. “It’s Friday.”

“I know, I’ll pick you up at 3. Dress cute.”

Took you to a cat cafe because he just “had to”.

Holds your hands through crowds or has a hand on the small of your back.

Very gentlemanly.

You kiss his cheek when telling him goodnight.

Thinks about it all weekend.

The next time he sees you he kisses you as soon as he gets close enough to “even the score”.

Shows you off whenever he possibly can.

Always standing behind you with a hand on your waist.

Extremely ticklish.

Like all you have to do is poke his side and he’s squealing.

You use that to your advantage.

Absolutely showers you in gifts.

[mediumgayitalian]

Will would like to say, at risk of perjuring himself, that he did not intend to fall asleep.

Like, he wanted to.

And he did.

But it was not his original intent.

His original intent was to stabilize his patients (success), climb out the back window of the infirmary (success), stick the landing (failure is good for growth), meet Nico behind the Big House (success), and shadow travel to his cabin without throwing up (fifty percent is a pass). The secondary intent was to sprawl on his boyfriend’s lap, taking up as much space as possible in his massive, against-camp-regulations bed (how it is possible to be Dionysus’ nepo baby without actually being a child of Dionysus, Will shall never know), turn off his brain, and watch him play video games for a while.

The issue is that Nico is so comfortable.

Yeah, he’s bony. And yeah, sometimes he gets really into the game and forgets that Will is there, elbowing him in the face as he cusses at the screen in what sounds like ancient Latin. And yeah, the sound of a CoD lobby is the opposite of a sleep-conductive environment. However.

However.

While he may spend hours of his week standing on tables, lecturing on healthy eating habits and regular circadian rhythms via sonnet, and enforcing said habits via taser (rip Leo Valdez, you would’ve loved watching Will taser people for stress relief, come back alive soon), Will is what his friends and family call a ‘big fat hypocrite’.

He wouldn’t know healthy habits if they painted themselves bright neon blue (the easiest colour for him to see), stood ten feet tall, dressed in Malvolio’s outfit from Twelfth Night, and roundhouse kicked him in the teeth his mother spent thousands of dollars on (braces suck). He has not slept through the night even once his whole life. Yesterday, his two meals were 1) twizzlers and 2) audacity. He once measured how much liquid he had in his system on any given time and then drank approximately two point seven litres of RedBull to become, by volume, one half percent caffeine. (His heart did indeed stop. But it started back up again when Jason shocked him, so it was fine. Plus, he wrote it all down, so in reality it was science.)

Also, his dumbfuck peers keep getting themselves maimed, and he was informed unfortunately by Chiron that he cannot strike and leave them to suffer. (Accusing him of violating his First Amendment Right To Petition got him nothing but stable duty.) As of ten minutes before Nico picked him up, he was on his thirty-ninth consecutive hour of being awake. Probably. (He’s reasonably certain that climbing a tree on Friday morning and belting himself to the trunk, Katniss Everdeen style, for a quick catnap was not a fever dream, but one can never be too certain.)

Regardless. Point is, Will had cute boys to cuddle and Thoughts to Think. He had no intention of falling asleep.

And, yet.

He wakes up warm — the perfect kind of warm, wherein you feel akin to a soupified caterpillar in a chrysalis — or like a croissant lovingly shaped by the hands of an elderly chef in Paris and baked with care in a regulated oven — or like a wonderfully blubbery elephant seal baking on a slick rock — or like a space rock hurtling through the —

“Morning, Sunshine,” murmurs a very familiar voice. Following the very gentle murmur is a very gentle smooch on the forehead. Will, still mostly asleep, thinks he would sign off his soul without a second thought to ensure it happens again. “Or evening, rather.”

“Has anyone ever offered you their soul?” Will asks, fuzzy and disoriented. He tries and fails to blink the grogginess away, but the world around him stays dark, and the hand in his hair remains where it is, and he is so, so sleepy.

“Not yet,” Nico says. Will can hear the amused smile in his voice. “Why?”

Will yawns. “No reason. Timizzit?”

“Late, tesoro. Past curfew.”

Will groans, knocking his head gently back into Nico’s hold.

Of course his dumb ass slept through the evening. Of course he now has to drag himself awake and walk, in the blistering, nose-numbing frost (it’s sixty degrees, Solace) across camp, dodging feral harpy attacks (Apollo kids have harpy immunity, William), and trudging into his sad, small, lonely bed (gods above you are your father’s son) where he will of course be fully awake by the time he gets there. God really does give his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. (You’re an atheist, William Andrew.)

“Why me,” he laments, refusing to move from his boyfriend’s lap. Perhaps he will simply wither here, warm, satisfied, and more importantly away from little siblings who will not stop squabbling even when their long-suffering older brother looks longingly and pointedly at a bottle of cyanide.

Nico snorts. “Because the gods are punishing you for your crimes.”

“I have committed no crimes! This is unjust! Partisan! I am Hester Prynne and she is me —”

“Your mother is going to hell for teaching you literacy.”

“Defamation and libel!”

“Shut up, Will, gods —”

But he softens the blow of his words by leaning down, hands on either side of Will’s face, and kissing him like he’s trying to breathe him back to life. Or keep him quiet, honestly, but he smells like woodsmoke and citrus and old leather so Will doesn’t really mind. Even if he did, the chapped skin of Nico’s lips serves as a very good distraction, as does the brush of his thumb over Will’s cheekbone and the cool press of his ring against Will’s heated skin.

“Stay over,” he whispers, shifting his lips to Will’s chin, his jaw, his neck. He scratches his teeth lightly against Will’s adam’s apple and his hemoglobin briefly forget how important their job is. “You don’t have a shift tomorrow and everyone at camp owes you, like, twelve favours each.”

“That’s very convincing,” Will mumbles, unsure if he’s referring to Nico’s sound logic or the breath he blows on the shell of Will’s ear, which makes his arrector pili muscles go crazy. (He could make a more convincing case for the logic if all the blood had not abandoned his brain. Alas.)

“I’m a very convincing person.”

He slides a hand under Will’s shirt and his already very weak resolve pulls out a suitcase, packs its things, and abandons its family to pursue a career in competitive shoemaking. Or something. Nico’s hands are very very cold and it feels really really good for some reason and Will is just one man, okay. He may have been named after willpower but that does not mean he possesses any. And Nico is a convincing person. He out-stubborned Death.

“Okay,” he gasps out, arching into the nail Nico scratches over the intensely sensitive skin of his hip, “I’m staying, I’m staying, please take all your wiles and ship them out into the sea in a wine crate ala Danaë and her newborn.”

“…You are such a deeply strange person.”

“And yet you love me so.”

Nico presses his smile to Will’s forehead. “Indeed, I do.”

[hannieehaee]

them accidentally ditching you on your bday - pu

hhu, vu, pu

part 2

content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, etc.

wc: 2766

a/n: tysm to the few ppl who requested this i hope u like it! pls lmk if u want a pt. 2! i decided to go on a diff direction for minghao's for further angst hehe sorry </3

masterlist

jun -

jun's absence was always a source of sadness for you. it was hard to not miss such a special person in your life, especially when his absence was so frequent due to his career.

dating an idol was difficult, but jun always made it worth it. he kept you to himself, always prioritizing you as much as he could. no day would go by in which he didnt contact you one way or another, even if it was just a quick 'i love you.'

these past two weeks had been hectic for him. going back and forth between china and korea, and even japan all at once had him in planes almost constantly. if he wasnt at a concert, he was at a fansign, and if he wasnt at a fansign, he was at some fashion event. there was no rest for a single member of seventeen during times like these. but despite that, life had smiled at jun's exhausted state for once. he had three consecutive days off; with one of them falling on your birthday.

you had insisted that using up his very rare free time on you was unnecessary. that you'd be happy to just have him home as he slept for the entirety of the three days, but he had insisted to spend the day with him. had even convinced you to cancel all other plans you may have originally had for your special day in favor of spending it with him. he had been unable to promise you anything grandiose, cringing at himself when he told you it'd just be a nice day in between the two of you. nothing made you happier than the thought, assuring him it was more than enough.

the day prior to your birthday, he had decided to go stay with his parents. he hadnt seen them in a while, and they were currently staying in jun's home in korea, so it was perfect. he was still a bit exhausted from the previous twelve days in which had received no more than four hours of sleep at a time, but he headed straight to them the moment he landed nonetheless. it was a nice evening he had with them, catching up and being fed home cooked meals by his mom. he went to sleep a bit late, but not until after facetiming you to let you know how excited he was to to spend your birthday with you. it was 1am by then, so technically it had been your birthday already. he let you go at some point, letting you know he'd be in your home by 11am sharp with a gift in hand.

the next day came sooner than expected, with jun groggily waking up, drool on his pillow showing the very deep slumber he had fallen under. he had not slept so well in months, not having allowed himself a healthy eight hours of sleep in a very long time. it was weird, though, he felt way too well rested, more than you'd expect from a regular night of sleep. upon checking the clock he realized why. it was now 2pm .. had he slept a total of twelve hours?! how exhausted had he been? it was now three hours after the time he was supposed to be meeting you. he ran to his phone to check if you'd called, only to find it dead. he had forgotten to charge it before heading to sleep. his exhaustion had truly gotten the best of him last night.

he gave it ten minutes go charge before turning it on, immediately wincing at your ten missed calls and your dejected messages wondering why he was gone, even worrying if anything had happened until finally tracking his location and realizing he had been home the whole time. you did not have his parents' number, so it had been impossible for you to contact him. by the end of the messages you'd informed him that you'd just go for a quick lunch with your friends, letting him know that it was okay if he just stayed home with his parents if he so wished. you'd only hoped he couldve kept you in mind before changing plans.

his day off could not have gotten any worse.

soonyoung -

admittedly, soonyoung could be a bit ... air-headed at times. its not that he didnt think, but more like he acted on impulse rather than logic. this would sometimes lead him to issues in various areas of his life. including your romantic relationship.

you'd been dating soonyoung for a while, already growing used to his silly antics by now. he was a silly boy, who could blame him! you found him endearing more than anything, always making you laugh and find joy in the little things. your relationship had been nothing but fun so far. not only was he entertaining to be around, but he was also a loving boyfriend and practically obsessed with you. he was affectionate to a fault, always doting on you. at some point he became a bit of an annoyance to his members, constantly showing you off to them in your absence. just like with anything else in life, when it came to you, he didnt think much. he just went based on feelings, and his feelings for you were quite strong.

this was why you were confused as to why your boyfriend was absent at this moment. the same boy who could not go five minutes away from you (whenever his job didnt get in the way, of course) without whining, had seemingly forgotten your plans for the day.

soonyoung was supposed to return from japan this morning after two weeks of absence from your shared home. you had told him it was fine if he wanted to rest instead of doing something for your birthday, which coincidentally landed today. a day in with him was more than enough, you'd assured him, but he insisted that all he needed upon his return was a quick nap with you and then he'd be ready to head out for a night out with you. except he never showed up. you waited and waited, receiving no explanation from him. you even called him multiple times, but he mustve kept his phone on airplane mode, as he never responded. you knew how easily distracted he could be, but to straight up forget to come home was too much, even for his standards.

it wasnt until five hours after his supposed arrival that you found out what had happened to him. you received a call from a very exhausted minghao, letting you know that his driver would be dropping off soonyoung at your home shortly. he and the boys had gone for a spontaneous drink after the flight, with chan having lost some sort of bet and having to buy them all drinks as punishment upon arrival. there was no mention of your birthday during the call, making you think that it had even slipped soonyoung's mind to let his members know he had previous plans.

the annoyance you were feeling was the least of your problems at the moment. you'd probably have to deal with a drunk soonyoung as soon as he and minghao arrived, having to put your feelings aside as you took care of him in order to ensure a painless hangover the next morning, yet another day in which he had to work. not only had he forgotten you, but he had prevented you from making any plans to favor spending time with him, time which would now be spent babying him until sleep took over him.

minghao -

the day had started well. you had woken up to a beautiful message from your loving boyfriend, with a few selfies attached as he told you how much he loved you and how badly he wanted to be home with you right now to celebrate your birthday. you felt truly loved upon exiting your room to find a few different bouquets of flowers, all labeled as 'from: xu minghao', your sweet boyfriend who would always give you small showcases of his affection such as this one.

he had left before you were able to wake up, having scheduled as early as 4am. he had a fashion show to attend today, along with many other previous engagements in regards to his idol life. but you were fine with it! he had promised you time and time again that he'd be home on time by 7 or 8-ish in order to have a romantic dinner with you. this had been the birthday celebration you had been looking forward to the most. you had a quick breakfast with a few friends, along with a small brunch with some family, which meant the final and most important part of your day would come last. you were extremely excited. it was a birthday dinner with the love of your life, a luxury you did not often get due to minghao's overly packed schedule.

at 6, you began to get ready, opting for a cute outfit that would have the usually composed salivating over you. at 7, you had all dinner arrangements ready. minghao had asked mingyu to drop off some dishes earlier in the day, claiming he had wanted to cook for you himself but the fashion show would leave him with no time, instead deciding to ask his best friend to do him a solid since he had been off earlier than minghao today. everything was ready by 7:30, so now all you had to do was wait.

you waited until 8, which soon became 9, only to become 10:30 and then 11 in what almost felt like minutes. you knew your boyfriend did not carry his personal phone with him during public schedules, so you didn't bother calling him, instead choosing to confirm his location with his manager, who let you know he had been driven to an after-party at around 8:30, thirty minutes after your established meeting time.

by 11:30 you had already put on your pajamas, dejectedly picking up all the dishes and saving them for another day. you weren't just disappointed, but you were sad too. he had promised you this for days, only to pick an optional schedule over you. this was very unlike him, but you still did not want to give him a pass for his carelessness.

he came back by 12, apologizing as soon as he spotted you waiting for him on the couch, only to be interrupted by you.

"minghao ... what the fuck? you say you'll be here by 8 and just ditch me for a stupid after party? is there any explanation for this or were you just trying to be a dick?", you knew you went too hard too fast, not even letting him finish his apology, but you were mad.

the venom in your voice seemed to irritate him almost immediately, causing a scary side of minghao to come out. he was never mean, per say, but he could be a bit too cold and direct sometimes. he seemed to forget his mistake immediately, instead pining the fault on you.

"y/n, im an idol. this is my job. you know its my dream to get into the fashion field. i need networking to do that. as my partner you have to understand that. its not like i didnt warn you itd be today."

"and i do understand! but all night? you could've told me. you couldve gone back on your word and i wouldve understood, but you-"

"listen. im not gonna have a conversation if you keep yelling. calm down, and when you decide to act like an adult, ill be willing to discuss this with you," it was so easy for him to dismiss you, which shocked you. he was usually so attentive.

"are you .. are you serious? are you drunk?"

"believe it or not, we're not all waiting for this day to put all our own shit aside and celebrate. i cant believe you're not being supportive. you havent even asked me how it went, i-"

"you know what? you're right. im sorry. i hope it went great, minghao. i'm gonna go to sleep now, if you dont mind. goodnight," there was truly no use in arguing. you knew him to be incredibly stubborn, and he was starting to hurt your feelings. so you marched to sleep, deciding to take the guest room instead, slamming the door shut as you finally let yourself cry at your boyfriend's lack of care.

chan -

chan was an exemplary boyfriend. he was, for lack of a better term, down tremendously bad for you. one simple look from you and he was reporting for duty, ready to do whatever you wanted. this behavior manifested in every aspect of your relationship, making him be labeled as a bit of a simp by all your mutual friends. chan did not mind this, however, being insanely into you and willing to go through all lengths to make sure you knew how loved you were by him.

your relationship was very much like a friendship, allowing the two of you to joke around and hang out as friends would, but also having all the special benefits of a committed relationship. you'd show up for each other more than anyone else, making your bond stronger than any other in your respective lives.

you had expected this to be the same case for your birthday. you hadn't mentioned it much, knowing chan was coincidentally busy during that week. you blamed him in no way for his busy schedule, always supporting his passions and even egging him on whenever he wanted to take on even more challenges (although also scolding him whenever he burnt himself out too much). but you were still somehow expected he would at least mention it.

you were surprised to wake up that day - having fallen asleep before chan's arrival home - to no type of reaction from chan. he was already awake, almost ready to leave for yet another busy day of schedules, with no single word mentioning your birthday. you knew he was insanely busy, but not even a quick 'happy birthday'? in the back of your mind you had hoped maybe he would at least bring you flowers or something upon his return the previous night, but he had clearly headed to sleep upon arrival. for someone who was usually a romantic, his lack of reaction surprised you.

deciding not to make a big deal out of it, you didn't say anything, simply bidding him goodbye with a quick kiss and an 'i love you' to match. you had the day off, but no real plans made, so you decided to just mope around the house, maybe schedule a date with one of your friends for the evening. you had kept your schedule open in the off chance than maybe chan wouldve planned a quick little something. you knew you could've just communicated this to your boyfriend, but you had wanted the romantics sue you!

surprisingly, you received a call a few minutes after chan's departure; one from one of your closest mutual friends, one boo seungkwan. it was very likely that he had remembered today's date, very much unlike your boyfriend.

"hi, kwannie," you replied upon answering.

"baby! happy birthday!!! love you!"

you sighed, "thank you, boo. love you too."

"aigoo, something wrong? sad channie can't stay in today?", you could hear and see his pout through the phone.

"no, kwannie. it's nothing. don't worry about it," even if you were slightly annoyed, you didnt want to throw your boyfriend under the bus.

"no! tell me!! you can't be sad on your birthday, cmon!"

"well .. chan kinda, uh, forgot."

"what? did he say anything?"

"nope. just left without saying anything."

"aish, that idiot. don't worry, i'll take care of this, i'll-"

"no, kwan! it's fine. i dont wanna make a big deal out of it. you guys are busy with your comeback. it's okay, i'll get over it."

"but, baby-"

"kwan, really. i'm fine, i swear. have a good day for me, okay? love you."

he humphed, but accepted your response, "fine. you better have fun today too, though, okay? love you."

and that was the end of it. you would now probably spend the next few hours a bit dejected, not looking forward to the inevitable moment in which your boyfriend realized his mistake, knowing you couldn't really be mad at him due to his busy lifestyle, but feeling hurt nonetheless.

[lightseoul]

ooooo could u do 30?? love ur writing sm!! ur an inspiration!!

yes, i can! and thank you so much <3 this one was a bit of a doozy to write, since i really tried to take the unexpected route. enjoy!

(this is lightseoul's 2k milestone event ft. bakugou katsuki! to play, view the numbered list of prompts here, then simply send an ask with your chosen number and i'll whip something up!)

30. "WE SHARE THE SAME NAME!" (1.4k)

he was in the middle of opening the mysterious package—cautious as ever, of course, lest it be a bomb threat sent to the #2 pro-hero dynamight—when he hears the barrage of knocks echo from the door.

he’s not used to visitors showing up unannounced to his home, what with privacy being one of his most deeply held values, especially now that he’s a top-ranking hero in his early 30s.

but it’s not the prospect of having to deal with an intruder that sends his heart racing and his stomach churning with equal parts dread and excitement.

he can easily deal with a non-savory—no doubt about it.

but the person who’s responsible for the all-too-familiar three consecutive, not too heavy but not too light-handed rapping on his door?

not so much.

despite himself, he crosses the distance between him and the entrance in just a matter of few strides, and he takes a deep breath as he steels himself for what’s about to greet him at the other side.

he doesn’t even bother to look through the peep hole, opting to grab the knob and turn it with conviction.

and sure enough, there you are in your—no, his—front porch, decked out in your casual clothes with no makeup on, looking like you just hurriedly dressed yourself to run to his place in a fit of urgency.

it’s that thought that causes his face to morph into worry, even though a million other things are racing in his head, like how long it’s been since you two were alone together, or how fucking pretty you look despite looking so bare and winded.

he gives you another once over, eyebrows further furrowing in confusion, because why the hell would you go out of your way to see him amidst everything? “what’s wrong?”

“nothing,” you start, “it’s just—well, of course it’s not nothing. i wouldn’t bother you if i absolutely had no business to—”

bakugou feels himself frown at your words, but you don’t stop.

“—but i think my package got sent… here…”

you trail off, gaze shifting from him to the cardboard box he was just trying to pry open with his bare hands a few minutes before you unceremoniously arrived at his doorstep, and the second you land on it, your eyes widen, and before he knows it, you’re toeing off your shoes and barging past him and into the living room.

you reach for the package that has been sitting on the kitchen island this entire time, clutching it to your chest and turning to face him, looking absolutely horrified. “you opened it?”

bakugou stammers for a beat, not knowing what to say, before finally settling with: “what else was i supposed to do? we share the same name!”

that must’ve been the wrong thing to say, because your face falls, and for a millisecond he thinks he shouldn’t have went there, but just as quickly you school your face into a neutral expression, before heaving a deep sigh.

“they got my address fucking wrong again.”

neither of you say anything for a while after that, the both of you just standing there in tense silence.

because in bakugou’s case, what the fuck is he supposed to say to that?

that he thinks the universe is telling you two something? that the delivery men can’t even move the fuck on so why should he? that, after all this time, you two do still share the same name, and that it should stay that way—the bakugous—and not separated by a fucking ‘versus’ in the middle?

but he doesn’t say any of these, opting to stare at you instead as you fumbled with the package.

you’re being extra careful with it, he notes, your body angled slightly away from him, perhaps purposely obscuring his view of the parcel.

but then your hands slip and you yelp; down goes the box onto the pristine, hardwood floor, and out tumbles the contents so important that you raced all the way here to what used to be your shared home.

and when he sees it, everything suddenly makes sense.

because sprawled over the ground are what looks to be at least three matching sets of revealing underwear.

before he can even react, though, you swiftly crouch down and stuff the lingerie back into their container.

“they’re not mine—it’s my friend’s.” you then abruptly stand up, awkwardly smoothing back your hair, “she had it sent to my place to save on delivery.”

bakugou doesn’t know how he manages, but he hears himself reply in a surprisingly steady voice. “you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“well, i want to,” you toss back without missing a beat, and he legitimately feels a seed of hope and relief being planted in the pit of his stomach.

because, sure, your reason for filing a divorce against him might be something he can never wrap his fucking head around, but he knows you’re coming from a place of immense love for him.

always, always coming from a place of love.

immense love that he knows hasn’t died out despite your insistent efforts to pull away and keep him at arm’s length.

still, he must’ve been looking pained, because your face softens the way it always did when you were about to soothe him. “i don’t want you to misunderstand, katsuki.”

he doesn’t get the chance to respond to you saying his first name again after what has felt like ages, though, because you reach for the undergarments again before dangling them in the air for him to look at.

“see?” you wiggle them for further emphasis, cringing at the fabric. “you’d catch me dead before you see me in these.”

and he agrees, that type of style was never your cup of tea, and he knows that better than anyone else.

but the way you just said that?

“don’t fucking joke about you being dead.”

“i was just kidding,” you retort defensively, the playful expression that was just etched on your features now long gone. you drop your hand to your side, and you heave such a heavy sigh it wracks your entire body.

you’re exhausted, but so is he.

who wouldn’t be, fighting for a marriage where your spouse is your motherfucking opponent?

bakugou clenches his eyes closed for a second, before opening them and fixing his gaze onto you. you must’ve felt his piercing stare, because your own, timid gaze drifts to him.

and he knows it’s stupid for him to ask, but he just can’t help it—not when you’re looking oh so vulnerable in the kitchen where you’ve cooked a thousand meals together, watching him with palpable longing.

“…are we still doing this?”

this being divorce by litigation—something he never would’ve imagined would be part of his future.

imminent death, life-threatening injuries, global destruction, maybe.

but not this.

and when you nod, he curses himself for even asking in the first place, because no matter how many times you’ve gone over this, the scalding pain that stabs his chest doesn’t get any less excruciating.

“i’m not gonna get any better, kats,” you add on, voice small. “i’m way beyond recovery.”

“and so naturally you have to divorce me?” he snaps, although he instantly regrets it.

you purse your lips into a thin line like you always did when you willed yourself not to cry. “i’m just trying to give you a second chance at love while you still have the time.”

bakugou’s about to spit something along the lines of why you’re talking like you’re already dead but he bites his tongue just in time.

he already knows what your answer is going to be.

so, instead, he shakes his head, muttering to himself. “…whatever the fuck happened to in sickness and in health?”

if you heard him, though, you don’t make it obvious. instead, you gingerly gather your things and start heading for the door.

his eyes only follow your movement as you put on your sneakers, and as you straighten up, he has to fight the lump in his throat at the sight of you leaving.

something that you’ve been doing a lot these days.

“‘m sorry again for the hassle,” you speak up, sheepishly gesturing to the parcel in tow.

he shakes his head. “‘s nothing.”

only it isn’t just nothing.

because at this point, every excuse for him to get to see you is everything.

[chiyoso]

“THE MARA'S WILL”

someone as fragile as you shouldn't have to reign the bloodied fields of cloudford, along with raging war against two powerful factions—as well as an internal presence that invaded your mind that started all of this mayhem.

content warnings; oneshot · female reader · honkai impact 3rd inspired · takes place after xianzhou arc · canon universe · manupulation · mentions of depressive tendencies · declining mental health · war · death · traumatic events · mentions of blood · fighting · sensitive descriptions · dead dove: do not eat.

author notes; an open ending is an open ending. i appreciate all your of love for this oneshot, but i won't be making pt2. ty.

The Astral Express.

A widely known faction of celestial mysteriousness that traverses across the galaxy, they dedicate themselves to the ways of trailblaze and adventure, an enormous train conducted by a rumored fluffy creature that travels through vast worlds with its starry residers.

However, you didn't expect to meet the faction like this. The time that you yourself encountered the famous members of the Express— or rather, they bumped into you.

A memorable impression, leading their hearts and minds to waver in complete uneasiness, fear and curiousity.

It was one of those moments. Moments of tranquility, replaced almost immediately with unsightly chaos, and screeching horrors.

And they weren't coming from you.

2:49 PM — CLOUDFORD, XIANZHOU LUOFU

NOW PLAYING ♪ TOT MUSICA

11 minutes until eruption.

ᚷᚨᚺ ᛉᚨᚾ ᛏᚨᚲ ᚷᚨᚺ ᛉᚨᚾ ᛏᚨᛏ ᛏᚨᛏ ᛒᚱᚨᚲ

ᚷᚨᚺ ᛉᚨᚾ ᛏᚨᚲ ᚷᚨᚺ ᛉᚨᚾ ᛏᚨᛏ ᛏᚨᛏ ᛒᚱᚨᚲ

“F- Fu-aahh.... Haah...” You groaned in pain. The sounds of alarms, crumbling and a voice of elegant dread echoed inside your mind, chanting unfamiliar, incomprehensible sounds that you were unable to understand nor fathom its sound waves.

Your flesh continued to crack as gold seeped out from the insides, bright lightning marks all around your form, accompanied with your heavy eyelids, struggling to keep your consciousness as you panted heavily. Your thoughts fogged viciously with memories of all kinds, your mind had felt like a mix between ice and fire. A flaming vortex along with an Icy storm that seethed inside, causing a severe throbbing that had you wailing in pain in heaps of volume consecutively as you grip your head.

“M- Mr. Yang!” A high pitched voice trembled, struggling on her feet while a grey haired female helped her up to stabilize her balance.

“Go. Call for reinforcements. I'll take it from here.” He says, gripping his cane while the other hand hoists his frames up to his nose bridge, returning his gaze towards the sight of you.

Reinforcements?

“H-hhgk—” You coughed up gold. Your face stained with your aureate tears, gasping for air as you clenched the area of your heart, which was beaming light, pulsating with the same color as the liquid that stained your whole being.

What was happening?

You screech, lower limbs suddenly at work, executing swift dodges that your untrained body couldn't handle physically, stretching and tearing your muscles.

Something was fighting for survival, and it wasn't you.

Your actions lowered the morale of determination from the Cloud Knights that had stationed on the sidelines, now replaced with a panic and fear from your ever so visibly increasing strength and agility, etching negative emotions into their wounded states that you have inflicted previously.

The man with the glasses, distance away from you clicked his tongue in frustration, he had summoned a multitude of black holes, raining hellish orbs of gravity towards you in such high speeds and velocity, but you... despite your poor state of self, you've managed to avoid them all.

But,

Even you weren't aware of your own skillful sequences.

ᛗᛁᛖ ᚾᛖᚷ ᛟᚾ ᚷᛁᛖᚲ ᚷᛁᛖᚲ

ᚾᚨᚺ ᛈᚺᚨᛋ ᛏᛖᛉᛉᛖ ᛚᚨᚺ

“P- Please... shut... get out of m—”

Feeble attempts of retribution, cease your resistance.

Play into submission, child of Lan.

You cocked your head to the skies, letting out gutteral sobs to the heavens, screaming and pleading your heart out while your own nails dug into your skin, your eyes weeped in gold, blurring your sense of sight.

Your thoughts were a sea of fragmented memories, bad ones, the negative ones that only fueled your transformation and the thread of your consciousness that you desperately were holding onto, was now being threatened harshly.

The man in glasses gripped his cane, firming his hold while witnessing your overwhelming presence and what was happening infront of him.

You were talking to yourself. You were visibly in pain, you were weeping, and the mara that was supposed to overcome you right now was... being barely resisted. Resisted. Resisted?

That's impossible.

You can't resist the Mara.

Beads of sweat formed trickled down along his jawline, his eyes diluded towards the sight that was all too familiar for him.

Someone- or something was talking to you, and he felt nothing but the sensation of dread swell inside him.

He didn't know what to do. Based on your own visible actions, it was clear—you didn't mean to do any harm, you were struggling more than anyone in this dire situation.

You brought your tainted hands that was darkening onto your face, trying to hold onto what's left of yourself, your consciousness.

“PLEASE! L- LEAVE M—” You choked out.

You were stumbling on your feet, drowning in pain as you sobbed your pleas of desperation.

His face scrunches, biting his bottom lip, frustrated over his hesitancy and lack of determination into going all out against you.

You reminded him of a state that reminded him of his past companions from another world, a state that only led to an upbringing of a powerful force, leading to the destruction of humanity and civilizations, a state that almost destroyed his homeworld.

But he had to remind himself repeatedly, you were just... Mara-strucked. A man-made work from the schemes of Sanctus Medicus, their work, befalling to an unfortunate character before him.

But... why the hell were you talking to yourself? Why were you pleading? Crying? How were you still able to talk? And most importantly, how were you still able to resist your supposed inevitable demise?

You peeked through your digits, your eyes pierce to the man with glasses, before lowering your hands to your sides in idle, continuing to pant heavily in place.

Your stance had your staggering legs slightly bent, your chin upwards—but your stained eyes remained on the figure infront of you.

His eyes diluded upon meeting your sorrowful gaze, his hand tightened around his cane further, seemingly ready to take on any action you will commence, but he wished you didn't engage, he wished for your attacks to cease. He didn't desire to harm you at all—You were in obvious pain, emotionally, physically and mentally, and only his veteran observations can see that.

“M- Miss—”

“Kill me.”

You said breathily with your burning throat, your voice had been accompanied with a second, mixing with your original tone with a now deeper, and sinister chord that showed the fruition of the transformation you were currently experiencing.

Your hands find their way to your throat as you coughed out more gold, along with the taste of iron that mixed with the aureate liquid that had turned into an morbid shade of color from your blood.

Your legs gave in, bringing you to your knees while you continued to choke on your own secretes, sobbing continuously from the sensations you were experiencing.

“BENEFACTOR! SHE HAS FALLEN!”

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!”

“END HER LIFE BEFOR—” “Gghk-... Nngh...”

“Reinforcements are on their way.”

“I- It hurts.... It HURTS!!!”

“Call for further units! At ONCE!”

“P- Please tell me I'll live...”

“BENEFACTOR ITS YOUR CHANCE!”

“M- Monster!” “M- MY ARMS!”

“KILL HER!” “HER STRENGTH IS ONLY-”

“KILL HER!” “KILL HER!”

“KILL HER!!!!”

“KILL HER!”

The man with glasses was overwhelmed with contradicting emotions, hindering his wavering will to use the opportunity of your vulnerability.

The cries and pleas of desperation from the several Cloud Knights that have fallen from your battle, ring through the bloodied field, along with your genuine—sorrowful filled sobs that only haunted and hesitated him much more.

His own thoughts were only mirroring the mess that you were in, having to be filled with deep memories of a life that was filled with death and torment, reminding him of his sins once again.

The child of the Hunt, hopelessly clings onto the wretched humanity, only to be shunned out and betrayed by your own race.

I feel their sea of desperation, their desires for your lesser existence to perish without a trace in the galaxy.

Give into the sensations of truth, let it embrace your poorly sculpted soul, for I will accept you without fail.

You were already on the floor arched, your hands had continued to hold your head, gripping your hair as you wallowed in your pool of tears, gold and blood that soaked your once beautiful skin.

“Sss-top... Stop... Please...”

You've already hurt your own kind.

“I- I... Hgk— Ahh-Haah...”

You've already inflicted enough despair and chaos to the point where these lowly humans cling onto their life in a feeble attempt of living.

“Th- That's not...”

Savor their pleas and screams of anguish as they call upon your death. You aren't wanted, you aren't needed.

“THAT'S NOT TRUE—”

The floor beneath your shaking body began to crack, the density and force around you had only drastically strengthen, creating a growing crater below you.

You are only inducing fear in your surroundings, and you are more than aware of what you're causing.

Hatred. Anguish. Despair. A need for violent measures. A selfish greed of clinging onto life from their grave wounds you placed upon them. This is all you.

All you.

Mindlessly in pain, your body unwillingly helps itself up despite your own injuries. You took a heavy step forward, only ceasing the noises that surrounded you as they witness your hauntingly beautiful yet bloodied form, but there was no attraction, they were now instilled with a new type of fear.

2:55 PM — CLOUDFORD, XIANZHOU LUOFU

5 minutes until eruption.

You were a golden death. A victim.

A new dreadful existence that was unintentionally yet successfully created by Sanctus Medicus.

The golden liquid had already burned the rest of your outfit. Your body only continued to pour gold from the rifts on your skin, your heart—or your now crystalized core, pulsated with consecutive glows, as if your former heart, and the rest of your biology had changed, in which case, it did.

That's it... Embrace it... Your perfected, honed and better self.

Shut up.

The voice chuckles, continuing to fog and envelope your whole essence.

The unwavering, unbearable pain was now released, replaced with the sensations of your skin, healing slowly. The paleness in your face had become warm once again along with your body.

Your hair only grew longer, luscious and free, your eyes glimmered in high self esteem once more, while previous cracks all over your body had almost disappear as if nothing was there in the first place.

You will never admit it, but you felt more healthy, you felt beautiful, you felt confident, you felt...

New, refreshed and reborn, and you grasped control of yourself once again.

Your newfound vigor and vitality only brought unease and curiousity to the Cloud Knights who loathed your existence being a supposed child of Yaoshi the Abundance now.

The man with glasses couldn't help but be reminded of his weakness from your newfound growth, he had hesitated until now, witnessing your upbringing and his own actions had left a sour feeling on his drying throat, unease had surrounded the man, in fear of what will commence. He doesn't know how much longer he can fight, accompanied with the knowledge of his two fatigued Astral companions seeking out help of any kind, but another question lingered in his thoughts;

What were you?

You weren't a mindless Mara-strucked individual that they've previously continuously dealt with, nor you had the appearance of golden leaves that battered and grew out of you. You were just a woman, at what he assumes to be your very prime, the high peak of your health, appearance, physicality and mental state, and your curiousity and confusion about your own state confirmed his assumptions.

“I-...” Your senses interrupt you as your instincts come into fruition, tilting your head to the right, only to reveal a Cloud-Piercing spear infront of your vision that had thrusted forward from behind. The light, horizontal slit from your left cheek which the Cloud Knight slightly grazed, begun to heal almost quickly, as well as suddenly realizing your hand was already around the unfortunate Cloud Knight's neck, lifting them up in a chokehold as their air supply begins to be cut off.

With widened eyes, you immediately loosened your grasp upon becoming aware of your actions, retorting your hand while guilt pumped into you.

“It- It was... It was instinct I-” Your voice cracked, bringing both of your hands to cover your mouth as your once blurred vision finally had a good look to your surroundings, grasping the situation and your hellish surroundings at bay.

Remember the sight.

Your mind throbbed once again, yet your nerves find ways to soothe the pain, but... even then, it will never be able to heal your aching heart and the damage you inflicted against the soldiers of the Xianzhou Alliance.

Instincts went into play once more, feeling a sudden familiar, pulling force behind moving towards you in a faster, denser velocity, only for you to barely dodge a faster orb of gravity that you had previously, went up against.

“W- Wait! I-” You turn your face quickly towards the man whom attacked you just now, only to be met with a bright, icy blade that moved quickly towards you, but both of your hands had already instinctively raise to your face, piercing both of your palms instead, grasping in the side of the bloodied tip of the cold sword that pierced you.

“FUCK!!! NNGH—!” You whimpered in pain, feeling the sensations of burning that sourced within your palms, along with the skin and nerves that was already healing, your own rejuvenating flesh, pushing out the icy sword as a 'CLANG' follows suit.

“Hmph. You're lucky I didn't throw it with too much force, otherwise you wouldn't be able to survive that!” A voice of a young boy graced the battlefield, turning the red sea into a cold, thundering storm of snow and ice, putting the injured Cloud Knights at ease and discomfort from the coldness that surrounded the environent.

“L-Lieutenant Yanqing!” A Cloud Knight gasped at his arrival, alerting the rest with jarred cheers erupting, while your gaze dilutes back and forth to the man with glasses—and a child who happens to be a lieutenant that had arrived.

“P- Please- I-”

“Save it servant of the Abundance!”

A continuing, cold breeze of snow enveloped the young boy, his aqua colored swords flying towards you once more.

Now equipped with newfound, engraved instincts that you have begun to get use to, your body- that had not tasted the ways of war and battle, danced its way around elegantly and flexibly from the skillful wrath of ice that relentlessly continued to attack you.

Despite your consciousness and having a sense of control once again, you felt another sensation, one that felt like another presence, another soul, tangled with yours, tugging at your essence, and it was most definitely the reason as to why you were moving in such a way, that continued to inflict fear and uneasiness to the Cloud Knights, and the man with the glasses whom continued to witness your dance of agility and grace against the right hand of the Arbiter General.

...

...

Why me...?

Imperfect.

There are many others.

...

The embodiment of failure and success.

Wh- What does that even mea—

A host of purity and defections all in one. All suited for me.

A canvas of the purest, warmest of soul, painted with absolute grief, sadness, regret, pain — yet harboring no anger, rage, hatred. A non-existent need for revenge.

Something a certain diciple of mine lacked, thus her inevitable defeat from the subjects of Akivili.

And you are mine to break and reconstruct. I can finally fathom why the Hunt had their arrows set on you.

The words gnawed your logical, racing thoughts, leaving you in a moment of disarray, visibly seen from your relentless opponent.

The Hunt... The... Reignbow Arbiter? But—

“Hhgk—!”

Tch. So flawed.

You felt another burning sensation to the left side of your waist, looking towards a deep cut that split your flesh into two from the icy blades that hailed like the rain against you, yet once again, it had begun to heal slowly, as sounds of your flesh and cells crickled, halting the young boy in his trained steps for a moment.

“What... What are y—” The young boy gets cut off.

Your gaze suddenly returns to the boy, with your left iris flickering into a golden color, replacing your original shade.

“Your demise.” The voice took over your vocals for a moment.

“N- No! you will NOT HARM ANYONE FURTHER!” You grit your teeth, holding your curled fists into each other, retraining yourself and letting the voice solely focus on avoiding further attacks.

How unpleasant.

Why do you continue to resist, child of Lan?

The sight of you... talking to yourself? No... Your voice had continued to change back and forth, only confusing him further.

Something was amiss, but the young boy and his youth couldn't fanthom the uniqueness of the situation before him, he had only one thing in his determined mind, the solution of exterminating a being that threatened the peace for the Xianzhou Luofu; You.

The boy took his stance, his flying swords once again stationed behind him, but a sudden deep voice emerges from behind him, only startling the whole battlefield in his appearance.

“Yanqing. Well done in keeping the adversary at bay.”

A commanding presence immediately intensified the trickling air of tension, only leaving sounds of sharp breaths and your continuous argument with yourself.

Hush.

Huh?

You fall into silence to its bidding, only to look around to the young boy, who was now accompanied with the famous Arbiter General, holding a glaive that had a threatening presence, along with the General himself.

“I apologies for my tardiness Mr. Yang. I had matters to tend to.” The strong presence spoke, his eyes hovering upon your naked, yet coated state, assessing the situation with an unknown gleam in his eyes.

“Where of Stelle and March?” The man with glasses walked beside him, mirroring his gaze upon the beautiful woman before their sights.

“I sent message to the High Elder Vidyadhra medic to tend to their wounds, not to worry, they will be back.” He said faced to him with a knowing smile, only causing goosebumps to your skin, he was taking in this stage you set lightly, only irritating the voice in your head slightly.

“Now... What of the contexts of this fascinating situation?” The Arbiter General's penetrating gaze returns to you, eyeing your undeniable attracting form. You were oblivious, but the voice wasn't.

Leave the premises, now.

Wha? W- Who are you to tell me what t—

The throbbing had begun once again. Their conversations sealed upon noticing your actions as your hands gripped tightly around your head, whimpering in place.

“S- Stop...”

No. If you perish, I-

...

Leave, woman.

“Is she...?” The Arbiter General looks towards the man with the glasses, his eyebrow raised slightly in speculation.

“She's... She had been at this state for more than a few minutes since earlier...” He frowned, gripping his cane, being reminded of fragments from his life that whispered evily to him.

“Who cares? Let's extinguish her presence already General!” Impatient, the young boy firmed his grasp around the hilt of his sword of ice, pointing the tip of the sharpness towards you, his sky filled eyes sending daggers to your direction with determination.

“Patience little lieutenant. One does not rush in unknown, trifling matters.” The General warns with a faint smile that doesn't reach to his eyes, and without a choice from the tone of command, the young boy's will wavers with a sigh, lowering his blade in defeat.

“P- Please, end me...”

Your words grasped the attention of the trio, while your tears began to flow, taking note of your willingness to submit in defeat.

“See?! Even—” The young boy gets cut off once more, earning a serious glare from the General that hushed him almost immediately.

“Please I-... I'm sorry for causing harm...” You continued to sob quietly, gritting your teeth while your head continued to throb mercilessly with ruthless, familiar pain.

I said leave now, and I'll cease the pain.

The Arbiter General takes a step forward, his left hand holding the body of his glaive, no words left needed to describe that despite his aloof hold around his weapon, he was more than ready for any attempt of violent assault.

NOW.

Mirroring the gesture of his, you took a step back abiding the voice's word, your glistening, heterochromic eyes lock with the readied General, only fascinating him further from your saddened, alluring gaze. Noticing your hesitancy for closeness.

“...My lady, if you escape this very moment, I will make sure that every inch of the Xianzhou Luofu will be well guarded, awaiting your presence in every corner you find yourself in to hide away from our— from my grasp.”

A silence from him ensued for a few long moments, following a faint warning smile from earlier, his gaze unwavering towards you while you weeped, assuming you aren't able to grasp his own chords.

“I- I do not... wish to harm anyo—”

“You're right my lady, I won't allow it.” He came closer, moving towards you with delicacy in his footsteps.

“ ... ”

...

...Stubborn child.

“Don't go, my lady.”

“It- It hurts... My head... General I-”

“Our High Elder Vidyadhra apothecary will assist you.” The General says firmly with undertones of softness, taking another step forward, but you remained still, weeping in silence from the continuous throbbing and regeneration of the nerves that seethed you repeatedly.

He manipulates.

S- Stop the—hhnghk... Please...

His experienced words, eons worth of vocabulary, coming into fruition, laying the power of syllables onto you. Do not—

I DON'T- I CANNOT CARE FROM THE UNBEARABLE PAIN YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE ME SUFFER IN!

A befitting punishment for your unwilling soul.

“I- I didn't mean to... General I- Hnnhk—...” Your form staggers, suffering from the internal turmoil that resumed, collapsing in place—but before you hit the floor, the sensation of warmth arrived behind your lower back and waist.

You found your crystalized golden core, your bare, coated chest pressed up against a man with command, towering and holding your suddenly weakened state that matched a situation one again in prior events.

“Jing Yuan.” He said, lowering his own golden to you, his expression, hidden with enthrall from your weakened state.

You hear the voice click its tongue.

“I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so—”

“Hush my lady,” He said in his low, husk voice, holding your weakened body, his hand firming against the soft, coated and warming flesh of your waist, stirring a once familiar sensation that rooted in his stomach.

“General Jing Yuan—” The young boy averted his gaze with a slight flush in his cheeks. Jing Yuan had not heard him, lest deciding to tend to the injured Cloud Knights instead, grumbling under his breath.

The man with glasses came closer to the two of you, his gaze feigning ignorance on the display.

“Miss... What—” He gets cut off, both men alarmed from your sudden intense grip around his biceps, your golden, crystalized core beaming, pulsating rapidly along with your quickened breath.

A golden ray of light erupted from you surrounding you vertically in a circle, sending the light up towards the sky endlessly, alerting everyone who bore witness to the intense display.

So be it.

A powerful, echoing screech escaped your mouth, tilting your head up to the direction of the clouds that welcomed your gaze as rubbles of cement from the previous struggles of the battle began to levitate the surroundings.

”ᚷᚨᚺ ᛉᚨᚾ ᛏᚨᚲ ᚷᚨᚺ ᛉᚨᚾ ᛏᚨᛏ ᛏᚨᛏ ᛒᚱᚨᚲ”

I claim your soul, little child of the Hunt.

You will be my host, my pure, imperfection of despair.

Only I shall intertwine with you, body, mind and soul eternally.

And this mortal, blessed with the lightning guardian spirit, shall be your first prey.

3:00 PM — CLOUDFORD, XIANZHOU LUOFU

The eruption commences.

how ironic, this fic being my first successful hsr fic ended up being the reason why i got my ppl pleasing tendencies back pfft. anyways, reblogs help my audience reach, thank you!

[noneorother]

The case for (at least) two stories in GO season 2: Bildad

This chapter will be more enjoyable if you read the first post "The Kiss"! Another blatant instance of inconsistency and topic of much debate has been Bildad's wig(s). His hair seems to change all the time, and the headband is never quite the same. What if I told you that if you stop focusing on the hair, and count the stripes on his headbands, a clear picture emerges? Sounds insane right? Here's the entirety of episode 2, arranged by number of headband stripes Crowley has in each scene.

I'll put screenshots in case you don't want to rewatch those two sillies again for 4 minutes. But be real... who doesn't? A pretty clear pattern emerges when you arrange the scenes like this : more stripes = more intimacy and trust between Crowley & Aziraphale. For stripe 1, we only get the opening scene where Crowley "destroys Job's goats".

This scene could live on it's own in the story, theoretically. Aziraphale never interferes with Crowley as he destroys the children, because it's all hunky dory up in heaven. The very next scene we see Crowley questioning Job and Sitis, starting to doubt his job, and he's got two headbands and two stripes for most of the rest of his hijinks with Aziraphale.

Until the very end of the episode, where we are back to one headband, but two stripes. The hair is short again, and the headband is neat, and this stumped me for a long while. If you only count the number of headbands and hair length, this scene clearly belongs with the first, and story-wise, would make little sense. But taken with the other two-striped scenes, it paints the complete picture of the saving of Job's children together as a team. I've taken the three headband/stripe scenes out of order from the show and put them at the end. The only time Crowley has three headbands is when something deeply intimate is happening between Azirpahale and Crowley. The first instance is quite early on, for the whole of the reveal of Crowley's crows to goats pipeline.

Interestingly this is also where we get the cryptic line "I am not the angel you knew". Next is a little interlude inside of Crowley's "destruction" of Job's children, where Crowley admits to Aziraphale for the first time that they are "Temporarily not on different sides". It's also this part of the scene where we find out, surprisingly, that Job's children are unrepentant little shits, and Jemimah realizes that Crowley is actually, technically, a demon.

And now, after a brief break of two striped shenanigans, we return to three stripes Bildad in the basement, where he manages to tempt Aziraphale into admitting that heaven's morals are a little wacky, and into tasting food for the first time.

But this scene starts with Satan's great wind (LOL wow, a fart joke in between all the morality? Good Omens would never...), where Crowley curiously remarks "Hmm, they've started early". All of the cryptic & meta commentary dialogue is clearly happening inside the scenes where Crowley is wearing three headbands. Given that the three headbands portions of the story make little sense on their own, we could conclude that Job is a story retold three times, each consecutive time adding layers of context to the story, and quite literally, onto Bildad's head.

part 1 of this nonsense : The Kiss

next part : Heaven’s files.

This is going to have to be a multi-part series, but hey, almost no one is posting season 2 metas anymore so the people have to get their crack from somewhere. With thanks to everyone over in our @ineffable-detective-agency as usual.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my partner not to interrupt me while I'm streaming?

Asking on here because she has Reddit and I don't want to upset her further while I ask for an outside consensus.

I stream video game content as a profession. Playthroughs, mods, tutorials, reviews, ect. I found streaming to be more profitable than pre-filmed video content. I'd say on average I can "work" for 10 - 30 hours a week.

She works on an alternating schedule where she does a week of full time hours then a week of part time hours. All in all, we work pretty reasonable hours between us, I feel, and we are agreeably not lacking in spending time together.

We routinely go on dates, we more often than not have dinner together, and I typically don't stream for more than 2-4 hours consecutively, so its not as if I'm locked up in my office for the majority of the time.

However over the last few months my partner has developed the habit of simply walking in whenever I'm streaming and starting up random conversations with me, playing her own games loudly in the background, constantly interrupting me to read out chat comments or ask questions about the game, ect.

Sometimes it isn't so bad, but generally its pretty disruptive. I wouldn't mind if it was just occasionally or if she just popped in now and then, but its grown to the point where its almost every single stream and I've noticed I've lost a handful of frequent viewers over it.

It came to an unpleasant confrontation over the weekend, when I was streaming a highly requested tutorial walkthrough for a recently released game and she decided to come in, try to sit on my lap and start a conversation about a client's dogs she met today.

I was trying to figure out a polite way to ask her to give me another 40 minutes so I could finish the quest line and shut it down for the day when two people in the chat began to make jokes about how she never leaves me alone and said it 'gave cam check vibes.'

I pretended not to notice, but she did, and clearly it hurt her feelings and she mumbled about having some things to do and left. I felt awful that her feelings were hurt so I closed the stream early and went to find her.

She was pretty upset about the comments and tried to get me to validate that she wasn't disruptive or unwelcome. I assured her that I don't mind the occasional visit or if she wants to play her own games in the background on mute/low volume/with earphones in, but that I have actually been meaning to ask her to give me a little more curtesy when I'm streaming because its hard to have dynamic engagement when I can't actually talk to anyone because she's talking non-stop or her own game volume is distorting the sound.

I tried to say it as gently as possible but it was clear that the more we discussed it, the more upsetting it was for her. She called time on the conversation by abruptly saying she'll just 'never so much as walk past the door' when I'm streaming, and that she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

She was only working a half-day today and I was streaming between mid-day and the early afternoon. When I said goodbye to her this morning she made sure to somewhat sarcastically assure me that she wouldn't dare interrupt my stream today, and she hoped it went well.

She refused to discuss it further when she came home, or over dinner, and since dinner she's shut herself in the conservatory and has been on the phone to a friend.

I'd like to discuss it further because I'm discontent with her being upset about it, but I'm also not particularly agreeable with me being in the wrong here. Streaming is my job. We pay equal expenses, so its not as if this is just a silly little fake job or hobby for me while she foots the bills. I rely on viewers to get paid, and when quite a few of them leave because I've had to stop playing for 20 minutes to listen to her chat, it could negatively impact my ability to bring home a reasonable contribution.

Ordinarily we can resolve any conflicts or disagreements quickly and fairly. We've never been the sort of couple to spend days being passive aggressive or refusing to talk.

With her being so resolute in being upset and not communicating, I'm at a loss for if I'm actually in the wrong or not for asking her to be more mindful of interrupting me and causing disruptions while I'm working.

What are these acronyms?

[ateez-himari]

SUMMER SONIC FESTIVAL

Atiny show concern over the physical health of the group.

August 19, 2024 (2:55PM)

ATEEZ's consecutive performances at the Summer Sonic festival mere days following nearly two months on tour raises concerns about the members' conditions, as some were seen struggling in the blazing heat. While the sets were indeed much shorter than normal concert performances, only fifty minutes, the weather that day was so humid even locals have found it unbearable.

While the moment was only partially captured as it took place behind two flags used during the Guerilla introduction, the youngest was seen nearly bowed down in pain while clutching her chest and members who witnessed this happening hurried over immediately. Using the recently released statement from KQ Entertainment netizens were able to infer that they were likely on edge due to the cardiac arrest she experienced the previous year, which stemmed from a level of fatigue quite similar to the one that was observed during the festival. It would seem that there is no need to panic as the vocalist rapidly regained her composure and with the flawless performance that followed, attendees standing away from this area remained unaware of this slight mishap.

Another thing that caught attention however was the return of an elastic rib brace, which was only seen during the first week of touring while she recovered from surgery that reportedly took place in the middle of the year. It became visible during day two when the heat had exhausted her to the point of having to use the main rapper as support during one of her verses, although with their interactions now being more freely close it seemed rather inconspicuous. His worried expression while gently steadying the young woman with two hands around her waist was what gave away the situation.

"Baby, do you need to stop ? Do you need me to get you some water ?" Could be seen being asked by Mingi in a video. His girlfriend simply denied and went off to dance in front of fans after giving him a quick kiss.

Attendees exiting the stage area in order to watch other artists also noticed that medical staff was already on standby the moment their set ended, one of them immediately checking the youngest's pulse while holding her upright. When these clips began circulating through social media fans were shocked as there seemed to be nothing wrong during their performance, the energy behind every aspect of it being the same as during regular concerts.

During the exiting bow on day one attendees noticed that the extreme heat had gotten to another member as well, San, who was seen biting down on his thumb briefly in order to stay conscious prior to stumbling away backstage. Throughout both performances he was seen stumbling during choreography, his facial expressions having also lost their usual animation with much more tiredness becoming visible. One singular video of their main vocalist, Jongho, looking as though he was about to faint any moment went viral alongside these clips which lead to atiny wondering whether they were truly getting enough rest.

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[blossom-works]

From Ms. to Mrs. Kennedy

» Let's start with how Leon proposed: It was a simple proposal. It was after the two of you moved into a house with a lot of land. he proposed after you two shared your first meal at your shared home.

» Your engagement ring is a simple silver, solitaire band with an oval diamond.

» The two of you already knew an intimate wedding is the most ideal. Leon strikes me as the type to like a foresty, woodsy type of wedding. Like Bella and Edward's wedding.

» The time frame between engagement and the wedding is about ten months.

» For some reason, Hunnigan took it upon herself to be your wedding planner. She did multiple background checks on different vendors and gave you and Leon a list of secured vendors.

» Somehow Hunnigan is able to free up Leon's schedule for two and a half consecutive weeks. The two of you head off to your honeymoon a few days after the wedding.

» You asked your dad to officiate your wedding and he immediately agreed. He not only gets to walk you down the aisle but to marry his daughter.

» Leon pretty much lets you do whatever you want within reason. Like, don't go crazy and rent an elephant or whatever. Leon knows you are sacrificing your dream wedding to fit his comfort level, so he wants to make up for it by expanding your options. But you told him that he forgot what you really want: to marry him. Everything else like the flowers, decorations, and outfits just helps make marrying Leon more special. The DSO agent was pretty much putty after that.

» Leon decides to wear a white suit with black accents. He even trimmed his hair to make him look put together. You told him not to shave though. The man looks good with his scruff.

» You hate white-on-white weddings, so color is a must. You dislike bright colors, so you opt for a darker color palate (think jewel tones). The dark palate also adds to the intimate atmosphere of the wedding.

» Buffet style. A small wedding doesn't call for servants or anything like that, but that doesn't mean that you and Leon go cheap on the food. You both prefer great food over an expensive venue. You have a graze/snack table set out before dinner is served.

» Your wedding is alcohol-free. Leon still drinks, but mainly when he wants to numb himself from the pain. He doesn't want to associate that with the day he gets to call you his wife from then on.

» No bridesmaids or groomsmen. Just some flower girls and a ring-bearer. Oh, and Leon also walks down the aisle with your mom.

» The ceremony is at 2 p.m. and the reception starts at 4, but doors (trees?) open around 3:30 p.m.

» You and Leon agreed that only close family and friends would be at the ceremony, and everyone else would arrive for the party.

» You chose to put your hair in a low bun and your makeup is the Pinterest "Natural Glam" look.

» You cried. No surprise there. Leon could not stop smiling though. Like actual smiling, not his smirks or grins (no matter how charming they are).

» The ceremony only lasts for about thirty minutes. After it ended, you and Leon went somewhere private so he could tell you his vows. The two of you did the general vows and private, personal vows. It was Leon's idea to do this. He only wants you to hear his vows.

» Claire also helped Hunnigan plan the wedding for you. The two of them are so surprised that you want to marry Leon, that they won't let anyone ruin their friend's chance at a lifetime of happiness.

» First Dance: How Would You Feel by Ed Sheeran. It describes how Leon feels about you. The man just loves you so much. No special dance too. Just swaying your bodies to the lovely music. Leon feels like he has conquered the world when he has you in his arms on that dance floor. The lights illuminate your beauty and Leon is just the luckiest man on the earth.

» Leon hasn't taken his eyes off you since you walked down that aisle. You were already beautiful, but seeing you all dolled up, Leon might as well be looking at a living goddess.

» To Leon's disappointment, you didn't want to do a garter toss. You have always thought that it was weird to force family and kids to watch a man stick his head up a woman's dress. No way were you going to do that in front of your parents. You did make up for it when you got home though. Except, it isn't a garter that Leon takes off with his teeth...

» Leon only dances when you pull him on the dance floor. He prefers watching you dance your hair out, but because he loves you, he'll indulge you. Your husband is the one to drag you to the dance floor when a slow song comes on though. For that two or three minutes, the world just seems to slow down.

» Leon finds himself playing with his ring during the reception. He saw you do it when you first got engaged and he found it weird until now. It becomes a habit of his. Twirling the silver band around his finger to distract him from something, or just absentmindly doing it.

» String 👏 Lights👏

» You watched a lot of "What I would do again" and "What I would do different" wedding videos. This leads you to put disposable cameras on the tables.

» One of the main elements you wanted for your wedding was a mirror greeting sign and a mirror seating chart. The mirrors add an enchanting element to the wedding.

» Most importantly, the wedding cake. Leon doesn't strike me as a sweets guy so the cake is all you, baby. Black forest cake. C'mon, you couldn't let the opportunity pass. Forest wedding, black forest cake, woodsy, ya get the drift?

» Leon is so excited to start a new chapter with you. The dream of having a wife died when Raccoon City happened, but it got dug up and revived when he met you. Leon will always be thankful for the life you have restored in him. One way Leon can show his appreciation is by taking care of you and loving you till death do you part.

[digitaldiarystuff]

Unexpected

omg i can’t believe ruben won the poll with like one vote! thank you so much everyone who voted and this is the story you’ve been waiting for, this is more like a prologue and make sure to give any opinions about the story to help me carry on💖

————

pairing: Ruben Dias x Y/N

summary: falling for your best friend is a bad idea, everyone knows that but what if it’s too late?

genre: again, a bit of everything

————

This is a story of two best friends.

Ruben was your best friend in the world, he was the one you turned to whenever things went south and he did the same. He listened to your daily rants about from people on the streets to your secrets, your relationship was perfect. You even got a job at Manchester and took the offer just to be closer to him and he was so grateful about your sacrifice.

So when did it become complicated? 6 months ago you were just dumped by the guy you were seeing and were fed up about not finding the one. Ruben, being the best friend he is, drove to you after his game and gave you his opinion on the topic.

“I think you’re too high maintenance.” he said whilst stealing a spoonful of ice cream from your part. He was extremely careful with his diet but this was after a match so he didn’t care.

“Hey!” you said both for stealing your snack and saying you’re high maintenance. “I’m not” you said offended but he just laughed.

“No okay I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you have your standards and you get frustrated when they aren’t met.” he shrugged, if this was any other day, you’d think about this but tonight you were in defence mode.

“You’re one to talk, you can’t even find someone to have 2 consecutive dates for months because ‘oh Y/N I don’t know, she’s nice but…’

Now it was his turn to get offended.

“I need someone who can handle my lifestyle. It’s not easy, you know.”

You didn’t know how this conversation turned into you being laid down on your back in his bed taking him while he whispered in your ear how good you were. This was the first time it happened, something that you feared would change your relationship permanently. You couldn’t even blame this on alcohol as Ruben hardly drank, it was just your instincts and needs. Things became awkward immediately and you didn’t know how to approach it. After a few days with no contact, you decided it was stupid and childish to avoid each other and called him.

He came over to your place to talk and you had agreed about this being a one time thing because if it escalated, it’d put you in a hard position. It was actually Ruben who said it and you couldn’t say no because it was the truth. Two best friends hooking up was not the smart thing to do.

However, your infatuation with your best friend didn’t stop there. In fact, it only grew stronger because now you paid attention to his every move and blushed when he held you. You tried to be strong but one night out with the girls made you crawl back to Ruben, you called him after the night slowed down and asked him to pick you up. You normally wouldn’t knowing his early practice sessions but you couldn’t help it and once you walked in his house you threw yourself at him. You actually weren’t black out drunk but decided to go for it anyway because if he pushed you away you could blame it on the alcohol but he didn’t push you or yell at you. He kissed you back immediately holding your waist and telling you to jump. You had your second mind blowing sex that night.

It continued like this for a while, you thought it’d just be sexual and maybe it could’ve worked. Casual sex as best friends with benefits but it had to feel normal, you were spending even more time together now and most of it was just hanging out and doing things you enjoy, nothing too crazy or romantic but one thing that changed was you cuddled which was one of the first times ever. Before this, you only cuddled when the other needed extreme support but now you were all over each other at any given minute. At least that’s what it was like up until Ruben left the country for a camp for a whole month. You kept in touch but it wasn’t all day every day and you just figured he was busy.

You were currently getting ready for one of your friends wedding and this was also the first time you were going to see Ruben after a long while. As you were touching up your make-up your best friend Elena came in.

“Hey” she said trying to be calming but she had on a weird look.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Heyy, are you Ruben’s plus one for the night?”

“What? No, I’m not, why?”

“Well, the planner just said there was a plus one in his invitation and I thought you’d get your own invitation but just wanted to double check.” she said nonchalantly but you froze for a moment before replying.

“Um, it’s not me. Maybe he’s bringing a friend.” you said confused about it but Elena was too occupied in herself to notice.

“You didn’t talk?”

“Nope, he’s been at a camp for a month.”

“Oh yeah” she said and went on talking about his relationship drama but you lost focus quickly.

Your confusion soon turned to shock when you finally saw who was Ruben’s plus one. It was Angela.

Angela was Ruben’s ex and she was a gorgeous girl, she was quite nice actually and she never had any problems with your closeness with Ruben which is all you can ask for your best friend’s girlfriend. At least it was until you hooked up with him. Now you didn’t know how you should feel although there was a little sting at your heart.

Your mind was racing with thoughts, this means that they’re back. Does she know, why hadn’t he said anything, how were you supposed to react? All this time you thought this was as innocent as it can get, just two best friends helping each other out but right now, you were questioning your feelings towards Ruben for the first time. You felt your stomach turn at the thought of him with Angela, but you quickly told yourself this was wrong. It was probably because the sex was out of this world and nothing else, it was just a stupid phase people go through and come out the other end stronger. Ruben was happy with Angela and apparently they found their way back to each other. As a best friend you should be happy about it and forget the newly found emptiness in your chest. This meant you had to step back immediately to let him be with the woman he actually loved. This was the right thing to do for both your sakes.

You realized you were stood there watching them for a while and decided to sneak out before they see you but just as you were turning around Ruben’s gaze found yours and every positive affirmation you gave yourself about not caring went out the window.

[candypalace]

Translation: Heterodoxy Pamphlet. Music Writers Reflect on 20 Years of the GazettE, Part 1/6 (2002-2004)

Hello friends! As promised long long ago, I'm starting the Heterodoxy series where music writers reflect on their work with the band in the last 20 years. This might take some time since not all the texts are ready just yet, but I will do my best to finish them as quickly as I can. This is Part 1/6, hope you enjoy it!

scan credit: @rad-is-more

Text by Hiroko Yamamoto [1]

the GazettE was born in March 2002. The band was formed by Uruha and Reita, who were dear friends from elementary school, Ruki, who they crossed in the previous band (back when he was a drummer) and who later changed to vocals, and their first drummer, Yune, who also invited his buddy from a previous band, Aoi. Two months later, they played their first show at Meguro Rokumeikan, a live venue that can be described as a gateway to success for visual kei bands. Their first maxi single "Wakaremichi" has a melancholic, catchy melody and an impressive fast-paced sound. During the encore of their 20th anniversary live at Yoyogi National Gymnasium in March this year, Ruki looked back on the beginning of the band: "We are the GazettE, and 20 years ago we got together thinking this would be the last band of our lifetimes”. It was during those young days when the band was standing on the stage with recklessness and foolhardiness when such strong headbanging songs as “Kantou Dogeza Kumiai” and “Waifu” were created, yet they continue to stay popular to this day. The band's forward momentum is best represented by the time when they had to play “Kantou Dogeza Kumiai” over and over again because they didn’t have many original songs yet. While they were firing the audience up with their so-called "violent songs", they also had an amazing ability to write emotionally rich compositions with Showa-inspired melodies, such as "Juunanasai" (later included in the pamphlet with CD for their first Nippon Budokan concert). Everything in the GazettE of those early days, up to their make-up and costumes, was elusive and funny in a good way, as conveyed by "Sentimental na Onigokko", a song about bullying, which presents the listeners with a droll world view of a locked room.

The band’s first turning point came the following year. In 2003, when their first drummer left the band, Kai, with whom they had played together in session shows, quickly took his place. This made the current five members, and the band moved to a new office. It was Ruki who made a last-minute call to Kai, and the drummer had to join in right from the next day's show. From this point on the band’s rapid progress officially began. the GazettE of those times actively participated in organized taiban [2] events. They were even nicknamed “taiban killers”, as their heat-packed shows helped them steal away fans who had come to see other bands. In the next three months they released three consecutive four-track mini-albums, "COCKAYNE SOUP", "Akuyuukai" and "Spermargarita", which increased the number of their fans in geometrical progression. Incidentally, at the time they called themselves "Dai Nippon Itan Geisha Gazetto" [3]. The name derived from the thought of what the word “Visual Kei” would sound like if it was a Japanese word [4]. On their 15th anniversary in 2017, the band held a concept show at the Yoyogi National Stadium. On that stage today's the GazettE performed songs from the Dainippon Itan Geisha era, so hopefully fans who didn’t know their early days got to know them. The sense of unity between band and fans that rose steam from the live house, the "Jump to us!" screams, and the band's stage presence all developed during that exact period. Back in September of 2003, the band sold out a two-day one-man show at Takadanobaba AREA, and only four months later, in January 2004, their one-man show "JUDGMENT DAY" at SHIBUYA-AX was sold out. On the day of the show, the venue was overflowing with fans, and the venue’s doors were barely closing. The band was not informed that the tickets had been sold out until the day of the show, and how they were surprised by the scenery in front of them and the crowd’s enthusiasm almost seems funny today.

Particular about every aspect of their performances, videos, sets, playing their music live, even coming up with their own ideas for photoshoots and never stopping the work until they are satisfied – this is the GazettE. When I was covering them in a magazine for the first time, I felt that a band of an entirely new generation that took over from the royalty of Visual Kei (although there was no such term back in the day) had entered the scene. I remembered their down-to-earth attitude, in which the live show and the fans who attend it are the most important thing. I also remembered that young the GazettE had a simple goal of keeping the band going, rather than becoming a band that was listened to by a certain number of people. Come to think of it, that hasn’t changed a bit. Truly an ironclad band.

[1] Hiroko Yamamoto / Born in Tokyo. Impacted by glam and punk rock as well as blues in her college days, she started a band and spent her life immersed in music. After working for an entertainment editorial production, she became a freelance writer. She covered the GazettE for the free papers and visual-kei specific magazines like Neo Genesis. She was particularly impressed by the band’s stance with its emphasis on live performances and believing in their music and their fans without being influenced by trends or critical opinions. Currently writes columns on music, as well as films and doramas. (From the pamphlet’s credits)

[2] 対バン (taiban) - A live with several bands performing. Usually those are beginner bands that split the venue and equipment rent as well as other costs.

[3] 大日本異端芸者 (Dai Nippon Itan Geisha) can be translated as “Heretic people of art (professional performers) of the Great Japan”. We know Ruki never chooses names for anything without putting a lot of meaning into it, and I’d say there are many layers to this title as well. 

大日本 (Dai Nippon) initially referrs to the Japanese Empire (大日本帝國 Dai Nippon Teikoku, 1868–1947), which embraced the Meiji, Taishō and Shōwa eras in Japanese history, though nowadays it is considered a nationalistic way of referring to Japan. Dai Nippon expressed the overall aesthetics that the GazettE (then - Gazetto) was working with at the time: Japanese flags on the Wakaremichi cover, the silhouettes of children wearing Imperial Japan school uniforms on the COCKAYNE SOUP cover, lyrics (Oni no men) and the use of traditional melodies (Back Drop Junkie [Nancy]), their iconic indie photoshoots with lots of elements clearly inspired by Japanese culture and so on.

異端 (itan) means heresy. This word is also clearly important for the GazettE’s vision and positioning since we see it literally everywhere: in the fanclub name, 20th anniversary live name, merch etc. If we look up the meaning of the word “heresy”, we’ll see the following: “an opinion profoundly at odds with what is generally accepted”. Not only “being profoundly different” is a key principle of Visual Kei, it is also one of the grounds the GazettE exists and continues to work on.

Finally, 芸者 (geisha, “a person of art���) is a pretty well-known word internationally. While most people associate geisha with professional female performers, the Japanese word itself doesn’t have any gender markers, and the first geisha, which appeared around the first half of the 18th century, were actually male. At the same time, it might refer to the androgynous nature of Visual Kei.

[4] “Visual Kei”‎ is partially a gairaigo — a word that came from a foreign language. The question they asked themselves was “if the concept of v-kei had to be translated through the prism of Japanese culture and values, what would a Japanese word describing it sound like?” And the answer is, apparently, “heretic people of art”.